#668 - Cristina Mariani

Cristina Mariani is a stand up comedian based in Austin, TX. She is touring all over America and Europe now through next year. Cristina joins Theo to talk about getting bullied by Italian children, the secret thoughts of pets, and why you shouldn’t hug grandma in the summer. Cristina Mariani: https://www.instagram.com/criimarii/ Busboys streaming now at https://www.busboysmovie.com Watch on Prime Video ➡️ https://amazon.com/dp/B0GYQGKX1H Watch on YouTube TV ➡️ https://bit.ly/4gwoy1p Watch on Apple TV ➡️ https://bit.ly/4eCINIe ------------------------------------------------- Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour New Merch: https://www.theovonstore.com ------------------------------------------------- Sponsored By: Celsius: Go to the Celsius Amazon store to check out all of their flavors. #CELSIUSBrandPartner #CELSIUSLiveFit https://amzn.to/3HbAtPJ Better Help: This show is brought to you by BetterHelp. Sign up and get 10% off at http://BetterHelp.com/theo Sonic: The $7 Big Deal Meal includes a SONIC Cheeseburger®, Small Premium Chicken Bites, a Medium Drink, and your choice of Medium Tots or Fries for just $7! https://www.sonicdrivein.com/menu/categories/limited-time/value/7-big-deal-meal/ Perplexity AI: Ask anything at https://pplx.ai/theo Watch on Spotify. Spotify subscribers get fewer ads on our episodes. ------------------------------------------------- Music: “Shine” by Bishop Gunn Bishop Gunn - Shine ------------------------------------------------ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to: [email protected] Hit the Hotline: 985-664-9503 Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: https://www.theovon.com/fan-upload Mail stuff to: ATTN: TPW PO BOX 40137 Nashville TN 37204 ------------------------------------------------ Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend X: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheoVonClips Shorts Channel: https://bit.ly/3ClUj8z ------------------------------------------------ Producer: Zach https://www.instagram.com/zachdpowers Producer: Trevyn https://www.instagram.com/trevyn.s/ Producer: Nick https://www.instagram.com/realnickdavis/ Producer: Andrew https://www.instagram.com/bleachmediaofficial/ Producer: Halston https://www.instagram.com/halstonrays/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

• 0:00Speaker 00

  College football is back. So Hilton called to me, the superstition concierge, to make your fan rituals a reality. Need a room to match your lucky number? We got you. Want to make sure our team doesn't wash your lucky jersey? Oh, that smells lucky. Hilton's unmatched hospitality can keep up with any superstition. Even a marching band wake up call at 5:55 and 55 seconds. Hit it! When you need a team that will do whatever it takes on game day, it matters where you stay. Hilton, for the stay.

• 0:30Speaker 01

  Just a reminder that Bus Boys the Movie is available to stream at home on Apple TV, Prime Video, YouTube. You can see all the options at busboysmovie.com. Make sure to go ahead and check that out. We've also got some DVDs available if you're into that. And thank you to anyone and everyone who helped support our movie. Amen. Today's guest is a stand-up comedian out of Austin, Texas. You may know her from Kill Tony and from her tour currently in America and in Europe as well next year. I had a great time getting to know the hilarious Miss Christina Mariani.

• 1:32Speaker 01

  Thank you for coming and thanks for adjusting your time or whatever was going on in your life.

• 1:35Speaker 02

  Thanks for having me. You know, for a second I thought you meant you were gonna do my podcast. And then I was like, why would he? He didn't know about that. It clicked later. That's why I asked if you could do it in the evening.

• 1:45Speaker 01

  Oh, really?

• 1:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:48Speaker 01

  I'm glad that you would think about me being on there. I don't know what hat to wear here.

• 1:55Speaker 01

  What do you think, Christina? What do you think if you had to pick a hat for a guy that's sitting in here? That's one.

• 2:01Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 2:05Speaker 02

  I think I like that one more.

• 2:06Speaker 01

  You like this one more?

• 2:07Speaker 02

  Yeah. You look tan.

• 2:10Speaker 01

  What, you say I look handsome?

• 2:11Speaker 02

  It's tan.

• 2:12Speaker 01

  Oh, okay.

• 2:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, like you've been in the sun.

• 2:15Speaker 01

  Oh, I thought you meant, like, I honestly, I thought it gave me a little street cut. I was like, you look closer to being like a BG, black guy.

• 2:23Speaker 02

  Oh, no, not with a mullet.

• 2:26Speaker 01

  That's true.

• 2:27Speaker 02

  Never see a black guy with a mullet.

• 2:29Speaker 01

  But you know what? You know, you know what's, I think is something that should come back is the Jerry curl.

• 2:34Speaker 02

  That's what he was saying.

• 2:36Speaker 01

  You and Zach were just mentioning that?

• 2:37Speaker 03

  Well, she was talking about mullets and I said, she was like, if he was, it's a long story. We're talking if he were black and he had a mullet. I said, I think that's a Jerry curl.

• 2:44Speaker 02

  Oh, that's what a Jerry curl is? I didn't know.

• 2:46Speaker 01

  Oh, that's a Jerry curl, baby.

• 2:48Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 2:49Speaker 01

  Sorry, and it's hard to call you baby too. Also, that's insane and that's very unprofessional and it's not cool.

• 2:53Speaker 02

  I felt like you were being a narrator, not you, Theo, just the narrator of the...

• 2:57Speaker 01

  Thank you. Yeah, I wasn't trying to be offensive to you or anything.

• 3:00Speaker 02

  No, I didn't think so. You said I was aloof, that was worse.

• 3:03Speaker 01

  Okay, that was, before we were rolling.

• 3:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, but now everyone knows. If I'm being weird, it's because you called me aloof and now I'm in my head about it.

• 3:14Speaker 02

  Oh, sorry.

• 3:16Speaker 01

  Your hair looks nice, how about that? Can I say that?

• 3:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:18Speaker 01

  You're very funny too, let me say that first.

• 3:20Speaker 02

  Okay, cool.

• 3:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, and your hair looks really nice. It looks different than the last time I saw it.

• 3:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, I got banged.

• 3:26Speaker 02

  Just, yeah, I just wanted to try it.

• 3:28Speaker 01

  And how does, yeah, how does a bang choice come on? I know that's...

• 3:32Speaker 02

  How? You know, every once in a while, something happens during the month for girls and you just get more testosterone and then you start making decisions.

• 3:43Speaker 01

  Oh, really?

• 3:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, I feel like that's when I make all my important decisions is around my period.

• 3:47Speaker 01

  You mean something ovular?

• 3:49Speaker 02

  Oh, just like, because you get way more testosterone in your body when you're about to, that's why we get so angry because we're closer to you guys when we're about to get our periods. We're the closest to guys, so then...

• 4:00Speaker 01

  Is that, is that, is that really what happens?

• 4:01Speaker 02

  I'm pretty sure. I don't want to like, we can fact check it.

• 4:04Speaker 01

  No, bring it up. So, so you get more testosterone right out of there because, why is it? Because you have to hatch an egg kind of deal? Or like, is the body need more power or need more? That's not a good way to say it. Somebody's gonna get upset no matter what I say here, but...

• 4:17Speaker 02

  About power?

• 4:19Speaker 01

  Or just like, you know, what is the, what do they need more testosterone for? Do you feel like?

• 4:24Speaker 02

  Um, I don't know. I have no idea. I feel like it was just your body punishing you for not having a baby. That's what a period is. That's what the, it's like now you get to be a man for a week, but then if you...

• 4:36Speaker 01

  And what branch of Christianity says that?

• 4:38Speaker 02

  I don't know. I don't know. Are you religious? You're a little religious, yeah.

• 4:44Speaker 01

  I believe in God, you know?

• 4:45Speaker 02

  Right.

• 4:45Speaker 01

  And, uh, yeah, and I like Jesus, dude. So, that's where I'm at. But no, I, yeah, I have faith for sure.

• 4:53Speaker 02

  Yeah. That's cool.

• 4:55Speaker 01

  And you're part, you're part-time religious or you...

• 4:58Speaker 02

  I grew up really religious. I grew up really Catholic, so, but then, you know, in high school I was like, I don't know. I don't know if I believe in this. And then now I'm like, kind of into crystals and stuff.

• 5:08Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 5:08Speaker 02

  And like, but I'm spiritual, I guess.

• 5:10Speaker 01

  But you can't spell crystal without...

• 5:12Speaker 02

  Cree, like me. No?

• 5:15Speaker 01

  Christ.

• 5:16Speaker 02

  Christ. Yep, okay. I was thinking, also Christ, Christina is close.

• 5:22Speaker 01

  Wow, so you, yeah, no matter what...

• 5:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, I was thinking about myself.

• 5:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:29Speaker 01

  What was I even asking about? Oh, no, but tell me more about the, um, the ovular, like the energy, the ovular energy.

• 5:35Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 5:36Speaker 01

  And how it led to the bangs, kind of?

• 5:37Speaker 02

  Oh, okay, well, I think I just, um, you know, I was, I think I always have these, um, things and subcon, like in the back of my mind, these things that bug me, but I'm able to ignore it for most of the month. And then when I'm about to give my period, they all kind of come to light and they really aggravate me, you know? And then I'd get like more insecure and stuff and then I just, you know, I'm like, you know what? I will get banged, why not? Because you get that testosterone and that confidence to just go for things, you know?

• 6:05Speaker 01

  Okay, so some of it feels like a confidence that comes in.

• 6:07Speaker 02

  Kind of like when you're angry, I feel like you don't, you don't have time to overthink things if you're feeling angry about something. That's what's nice about feeling angry sometimes is that you're not overthinking.

• 6:20Speaker 01

  That's a great point, actually. Angry usually kind of leads to some sort of action.

• 6:23Speaker 02

  Yes, and not always good, most of the time not good. But you're not overthinking when you're doing it, you know?

• 6:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's true. Like, oh, look at these definitive people who are making a bad choice.

• 6:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly. I don't get really that angry though.

• 6:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, I think they look nice. I think they look great or those are bangs, huh?

• 6:41Speaker 02

  Thank you, I like yours too.

• 6:43Speaker 01

  Oh, thanks.

• 6:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, I feel like we're kind of matching.

• 6:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, we're kind of the same.

• 6:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:47Speaker 01

  We're like two different versions of Brittany, kind of.

• 6:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's Brittany bitch.

• 6:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I'm tired. Well, every girl always wants to be toxic Brittany. I'm okay, I'm with be, I'm okay with being dancing in the foyer with the knife Brittany or whatever, like the, one of the newer ones?

• 7:03Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 7:03Speaker 01

  Like the second, like the New Testament?

• 7:05Speaker 02

  A new generation Brittany. Oh, this, this is you?

• 7:09Speaker 01

  I'm this one, yeah, I'm Halloween Brittany.

• 7:12Speaker 02

  I bet she got those bangs too, it was a period decision.

• 7:14Speaker 01

  I'm Michael Myers Brittany.

• 7:18Speaker 01

  This is Michael Jackson Myers Brittany right here. This bitch is legit. And you think those dogs, how do they feel? Take me through this, Christina.

• 7:24Speaker 02

  How do I think the three dogs staring at her, like, I don't, do you think those are employees? The dogs? Are they emotional support dogs, do you think, or recreational ones?

• 7:34Speaker 01

  I'm not sure. One of them had cornrows, I think, along its back.

• 7:37Speaker 02

  I don't know. I always feel like emotional support dogs look sad.

• 7:42Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 7:42Speaker 02

  You know, they're just like, imagine your friend is just like always making bad decisions and you can't say anything, but you have to stare at them like, hmm.

• 7:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:52Speaker 02

  Come on, stop doing that. Don't fuck your ex again.

• 7:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, dude, I never thought about that and like, yeah, you don't do anything in emotional support, you just feed them. It's like, oh, they're like, you're fucking your life up, you know? Like you're doing hair or whatever. I'm just laying over here with this vest on, you know, and people think I was in like the military or whatever. And then they're like, uh, you want me to forget about it so you'll just feed me?

• 8:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, and, and dogs are good at that, at forgetting about things if you feed them.

• 8:21Speaker 01

  That's a good point, huh?

• 8:22Speaker 02

  I feel like cats would keep you more accountable and that's why people don't like them as much. A cat would be judgy. Every time you do something wrong, it would like go away and show you its butthole. And then you'd be like, I fucked up. And the cat wouldn't, like, you know?

• 8:35Speaker 01

  That is quite a move. What ethnicity move is that? To walk off about 11 feet away, show you their asshole? And then just wander over behind a curtain?

• 8:46Speaker 02

  What ethnicity?

• 8:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, I like to, I like to relate things to ethnicities, like behaviors to different ethnicities.

• 8:52Speaker 02

  Okay, so what ethnicity would like walk away, show you their butthole and hide behind a curtain?

• 8:57Speaker 01

  I'm thinking, oh, I'm gonna get a little flack for this, but I'm gonna go,

• 9:02Speaker 01

  I'm gonna go Vietnamese, gay Vietnamese, probably.

• 9:05Speaker 02

  Gay Vietnamese? I don't think they would hide behind a curtain.

• 9:09Speaker 01

  Oh, you think it would just kind of...

• 9:10Speaker 02

  I think they would be proud.

• 9:11Speaker 01

  Mill around, maybe pass a hat around?

• 9:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, they would show their butthole and then freeze, freeze frame. I bet you're wondering how I got here.

• 9:23Speaker 02

  And that's how I met your mother.

• 9:29Speaker 01

  Christina Mariani, is that how you say your last name? Yeah?

• 9:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, good.

• 9:33Speaker 01

  Thanks for hanging out today.

• 9:34Speaker 02

  No problem, Theodore. Is that your full name, Theodore?

• 9:37Speaker 01

  Uh, The adorable, my grandmother said, but she was a.

• 9:41Speaker 02

  Whore?

• 9:41Speaker 01

  Okay, yeah, I was gonna say, uh, she was.

• 9:44Speaker 02

  No, no, I'm sorry. I don't know.

• 9:45Speaker 01

  No, I was gonna say, she was, uh, just like kind of a brave woman who did a lot in her community, but yeah, we'll go with that version of it.

• 9:52Speaker 02

  Horrible?

• 9:54Speaker 01

  She was a different type of lady. Um, yeah, Theodore, that's my name right there.

• 9:59Speaker 02

  I like it. It's like I've been in the chipmunks.

• 10:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:02Speaker 02

  So you'd be the fat one?

• 10:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh dude, yeah. I think I feel kind of like, I don't know, I don't think you can say, I think I feel fat because people that are thicker would be like upset, like you can't take the feeling of being fat, but not the, the smorgasbord of it or whatever.

• 10:18Speaker 02

  You could be like, I feel full.

• 10:20Speaker 01

  That's it.

• 10:21Speaker 02

  Right?

• 10:22Speaker 01

  I feel like a full male.

• 10:23Speaker 02

  I feel like I've been full for a few years.

• 10:26Speaker 01

  That seems gay, I feel like.

• 10:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, I guess so. It's the Vietnamese guy too.

• 10:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, like you haven't eaten anything in a couple of days. You're like, I'm full. Some dude saying that is definitely been being gay.

• 10:39Speaker 02

  Have you ever been gay?

• 10:40Speaker 01

  Have I ever been gay?

• 10:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, just like for fun?

• 10:42Speaker 01

  No. No, I remember one time some guy was like, he was saying he was like a soothsayer or whatever.

• 10:51Speaker 02

  What's that? A soothsayer?

• 10:53Speaker 01

  Soothsayer? Bring up an image of one. Let me get a JPG of a soothsayer.

• 10:58Speaker 02

  That kind of sounds like a.

• 10:59Speaker 01

  Like that.

• 11:01Speaker 02

  That doesn't look soothing at all.

• 11:02Speaker 01

  Well, all of these are options, right? The man talking to the horse, the other Brittany, soothsayer Brittany right there.

• 11:10Speaker 02

  That's your grandpa, the man talking to the horse?

• 11:12Speaker 01

  But it was like, it was just like some guy and he's like, he, apparently there was a guy in our town who could read your ribs by rubbing his fingers on them.

• 11:19Speaker 02

  He could read them?

• 11:20Speaker 01

  Like it was almost like reading on a crystal ball or something?

• 11:22Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 11:23Speaker 01

  And so he was like a rib reader, right? Like a mystic?

• 11:25Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 11:25Speaker 01

  And so I remember they would take us there like during the carnival or whatever, the fair, they would take us there and this guy would just kind of like, you know, he would kind of like read like the, you know, that's just your body braille right there, your ribs.

• 11:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:38Speaker 01

  And he would kind of feel it like that and then give you a message.

• 11:41Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 11:41Speaker 01

  You know, like a message of hope or like a message of, uh, um, concern.

• 11:47Speaker 02

  Okay. I feel like the ribs is a funny thing to pick because you can only feel, um, skinny people's ribs. And so that was a way to like filter out who he would touch. I think he, I think the soothsayer was like, I'm not touching fatties.

• 12:04Speaker 02

  Right? Like.

• 12:05Speaker 01

  But I don't know. I think, look, Brittany, I think money doesn't have, I don't know if money cares about how like which, you know, like, but maybe, yeah, he, maybe, maybe he had a type. He had like a very like a starving type. But yeah, I guess it's like, yeah, let me just, I don't know.

• 12:24Speaker 02

  Picture an obese person, you know, and you go to like, look for the ribs and you've really got to like.

• 12:29Speaker 01

  Oh, I would love that.

• 12:30Speaker 02

  Get in there.

• 12:31Speaker 01

  It's like an Easter egg hunt kind of.

• 12:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think I would dig that. Um, you are from, just some audience can learn about you.

• 12:38Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 12:39Speaker 01

  You, you and I toured together some.

• 12:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:42Speaker 01

  Yep. And you're on tour right now.

• 12:44Speaker 02

  Yes, I am.

• 12:45Speaker 01

  Right?

• 12:45Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm. Yep.

• 12:46Speaker 01

  Where you have coming up, just so we know?

• 12:48Speaker 02

  Um, I, man, I just, fuck, I should have looked that up, right?

• 12:53Speaker 01

  Here we go. Skyline Appleton, Wisconsin. I love Wisconsin. Chicago at Zany's, that's great. Congrats. Dude, the Comedy Store La Jolla.

• 13:02Speaker 02

  Oh yeah, that's the first time me doing that. I'm excited.

• 13:05Speaker 01

  That's the best.

• 13:06Speaker 02

  Okay, cool.

• 13:07Speaker 01

  That's where Mitch McConnell lives, somebody said, I think.

• 13:09Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 13:10Speaker 01

  That's where, anyway, or lives is a unique term to use with Mitch McConnell. But, um, didn't he just fall asleep the other day? Did you see that?

• 13:21Speaker 02

  Why?

• 13:22Speaker 01

  He's a senator.

• 13:23Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 13:24Speaker 01

  So he's just up to those like, it's like those sleeping senator tricks. You know, like those, what's those animals that play dead or whatever?

• 13:29Speaker 02

  Possums?

• 13:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:30Speaker 02

  Yeah. Oh, so he's just being a possum.

• 13:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's just the opossum of the, uh, what is it? Senator Mitch McConnell was found unconscious at his Washington DC home on June 14th, 2026, and reportedly received CPR for a suspected cardiac arrest. Sure. Probably trying to get insurance money. While his office confirmed he was hospitalized, they have provided few details on his current condition.

• 13:54Speaker 02

  I don't know. I kind of believe that he had a cardiac arrest.

• 13:57Speaker 01

  You do?

• 13:58Speaker 02

  I think that's, yeah.

• 14:00Speaker 01

  Well, he's the guy that they keep like pressing the butt, like they keep shutting him down. A lot of people think that he's controlled, right? And so he's the guy that they keep pressing the button on him and shut it. You know, he's the guy that kind of shorts out.

• 14:10Speaker 02

  Oh, so he's a robot, you think?

• 14:11Speaker 01

  People have said that he is. He's more of like, yeah, he's kind of a.

• 14:15Speaker 02

  That would be great to make all robots old. So that's the excuse for them glitching out. Oh, they're just old.

• 14:20Speaker 01

  Oh, you got a 1996, yes. What do you, what do you expect, you know?

• 14:24Speaker 02

  Maybe Michael J. Fox is also a robot.

• 14:27Speaker 01

  You think?

• 14:29Speaker 02

  He's just like glitching.

• 14:31Speaker 01

  I think he's definitely, uh, he's testing the matrix. How is Michael J. Fox, what's his health condition right now? Cause I know he's made all these, what does he have? MS, right? Oh, he's got Parkinson's, dude.

• 14:45Speaker 02

  Oh, I feel bad making a joke.

• 14:47Speaker 01

  Oh, no, it's okay. I mean, he's a comedic actor. I'm sure he's okay with joking around. Uh, Michael J. Fox in the advanced stages of Parkinson's disease, and also this is what you get for traveling through time.

• 14:57Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 14:59Speaker 01

  Is in the advanced stages of Parkinson's disease, which he was diagnosed with in 1991. While he deals with severe symptoms and mobility challenges, he remains mentally sharp and active, making high profile appearances like his surprise attendance at the 2026 SAG Awards. Um, dude, it would be interesting to talk to someone that has that, just to learn about what it's like, you know, just to learn about Parkinson's and like, just, I always wonder what it's like to have certain, like a, a certain ailment or a thing that's going on with your body or mind, but while you're like, can you still experience it? Like, does it feel like you're in like a Halloween costume? Like, you know, when you're in a Halloween costume, you put it on in the mask and you're still looking out of it? Like it's you inside, but outside people think you're like a ghost or like a, uh, like a wookie or whatever, you know?

• 15:44Speaker 02

  Like if you're self-aware about how you're coming off to other people?

• 15:48Speaker 01

  Yeah. Like, does it feel like you're like just trapped inside of something that's having a problem? Or does it feel like you are having the problem? I guess that's what I mean.

• 15:57Speaker 02

  I mean, um.

• 15:58Speaker 01

  And sorry, there's bugs in here.

• 16:00Speaker 02

  Oh, it's okay. It's not bugging me.

• 16:02Speaker 01

  It just has a lot of bugs. It's not?

• 16:04Speaker 02

  No, it's fine.

• 16:05Speaker 01

  Okay, sorry.

• 16:05Speaker 02

  No, no, it's all good.

• 16:06Speaker 01

  I'm taking on anger for somebody else. You're fine with it? That's fine. You're from Stockton.

• 16:10Speaker 02

  It's okay. You're a guy. You always have anger.

• 16:12Speaker 01

  That's true. And you get it every once in a while.

• 16:14Speaker 02

  Every once in a while. And that's when I get stuff done. I wait, I write down the things that, okay, I'll do that when I'm about to get my period because I'm about to get anger.

• 16:22Speaker 01

  That's a good idea, like a period to do list?

• 16:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. So then I'm like, I'll get to this. I know when I'm in it. So that way I remember. It's like, all right, time to, you know, um, yell at my mom today. No, I wouldn't. I love my mom.

• 16:35Speaker 01

  Well, who knows if you do. But time to like dig up that body or time to like, you know, go look for treasure or time to do something.

• 16:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, something that's productive. Yeah, yeah.

• 16:44Speaker 01

  Put those two by fours up.

• 16:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. Cause then if not, I'm just sitting with all that anger. I need to use that energy. Um, which is why, do you work out?

• 16:52Speaker 01

  I like that. Yeah, I like to work out.

• 16:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, because of all the anger.

• 16:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:55Speaker 02

  You gotta let it out somehow.

• 16:57Speaker 01

  It does kind of, it makes me just, I don't know. It makes me, here's what it does for me is I realize I need to let myself know that I'm in control of myself, right?

• 17:04Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 17:05Speaker 01

  Because if not, I'll be more at the whims of just like what my, what my thoughts are. So going to the gym, making myself go puts me a little bit more in control of myself. Like it gives me a little bit more hope that like, okay, somebody's got my back and it's me.

• 17:19Speaker 02

  Okay, yeah, that makes sense.

• 17:21Speaker 01

  A little bit of that. Does it make sense?

• 17:22Speaker 02

  It completely makes sense.

• 17:23Speaker 01

  I appreciate that.

• 17:24Speaker 02

  If you complete tasks, if you do things you tell yourself you're gonna do, that builds your confidence and then you trust yourself because you're like, I'm not a liar. I said I was gonna do it and I did it. You hate yourself when you're lying. Yeah.

• 17:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:36Speaker 02

  To yourself. Yeah.

• 17:37Speaker 01

  Oh dude, yeah. And that's, oh, I spent, I got to the point where I didn't believe myself anymore. I wouldn't even listen to myself, I realize. I would know I would say something like, I'm never, that's not gonna, you know, like you start to lose like integrity with yourself, it gets kind of like, I don't know, it can get, it can, you can get into like kind of a rough spot.

• 17:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, cause then you don't like yourself. I mean, think about somebody in your life that you know is a compulsive liar. You don't respect them. You don't want to be around them. It makes you feel bad. And then that thing is inside your head. It's you. Then you're like, you can't escape, kind of like Brittany's dogs, you know? And then that's you in your head. You're just like.

• 18:16Speaker 01

  Somebody corner on my back.

• 18:20Speaker 02

  They're like, enough, just, that's why I never say.

• 18:23Speaker 01

  The dog's had lipstick on too. That's the part that shook me a little.

• 18:26Speaker 02

  He was just, he was like, I need to feel better somehow. And you're like, do I look pretty?

• 18:32Speaker 01

  And he was a man too. I think he was a Vietnamese dog.

• 18:36Speaker 02

  That one?

• 18:37Speaker 01

  Yeah. And this is a new advertisement for Hollywood. Uh, this is, yeah.

• 18:43Speaker 02

  Hollywood the musical.

• 18:45Speaker 01

  The musical, dude. That's exactly what this is.

• 18:48Speaker 02

  You know, there's some things you couldn't make musicals. It would be inappropriate, right? You can make movies about everything, but you can't make musicals about everything.

• 18:55Speaker 01

  I don't know if that's true. I've been thinking one thing we do need more of is like Wiggers the musical.

• 19:00Speaker 02

  Okay, but see, that's funny. That's funny. You could do that. That's, what about 9/11 the musical?

• 19:06Speaker 01

  What would you call it though?

• 19:08Speaker 02

  9/11 the musical.

• 19:11Speaker 02

  Hmm?

• 19:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:12Speaker 02

  I don't know. That doesn't seem appropriate. It seems like.

• 19:15Speaker 01

  No, well, I think you, yeah, you need a softer pitch. The, the title of the mu- the title of it. I think it's an interesting idea. And I think if you had fundraising in it, then it'd be, I could see it. But nine eleven, the musical?

• 19:28Speaker 02

  No fundraising.

• 19:30Speaker 01

  Who would be in it? You need like, kind of like a gay hero that survives the rubble.

• 19:35Speaker 02

  A gay hero? That survives?

• 19:37Speaker 01

  Well, you have to have somebody that, first of all, likes being in a musical.

• 19:41Speaker 02

  Okay. Right. So that's why you said gay.

• 19:44Speaker 01

  I'm just, I'm not saying it has to be.

• 19:46Speaker 02

  Would you not be in a musical? You don't think?

• 19:49Speaker 01

  I don't know. I'd be in, I'd be in it for 10 minutes.

• 19:52Speaker 02

  Can you sing?

• 19:53Speaker 01

  I can sing all right. I'm pretty good. I'm not that great. Uh, I'm, I'm getting better. I'm actually not that good.

• 19:59Speaker 02

  Well, can you sing something?

• 20:01Speaker 01

  No.

• 20:01Speaker 02

  Really?

• 20:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm not singing also in this, yeah. I don't sing during the daytime also.

• 20:06Speaker 02

  Okay. It's a nighttime activity.

• 20:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, you know.

• 20:08Speaker 02

  Like being gay.

• 20:09Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah, being gay is a.

• 20:12Speaker 02

  For the nighttime.

• 20:13Speaker 01

  For some people, I think it's nighttime. I was just talking to my friend earlier about having a hot air, but like they had this guy in our town and he would meet a friend. They both were hot air balloon enthusiasts. And they would go up in the sky and that's where they would hang out and just like, I think they had a gay, a gay energy. And they would take it up there because there was just so much embarrassment here at, uh, sea level.

• 20:34Speaker 02

  Okay. So you're saying two gay guys went in separate hot air balloons and then they?

• 20:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:40Speaker 02

  And that's, but they're in separate hot air balloons.

• 20:42Speaker 01

  But they met up.

• 20:44Speaker 02

  Oh, so they did it. So people on the ground thought they weren't gay. They went their separate ways and then they.

• 20:52Speaker 01

  But people knew. They're like, there's no, what are they doing up? Like, you know what I'm saying? People started, started to kind of put two and two together.

• 20:57Speaker 02

  It's like up, but also their penis is up.

• 21:03Speaker 02

  It's a new Disney movie.

• 21:05Speaker 01

  I guess it is. Um, Christina Mariani, good to see you today. Can you tell me again about, so did you, can you bring that up about, um, if a woman is going through ovulation? Do they have, is there more testosterone in the bloodstream at that time?

• 21:19Speaker 02

  It's like around their period, not ovulation.

• 21:22Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 21:22Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 21:23Speaker 01

  Yes, on average, women's testosterone rises around the time of ovulation.

• 21:27Speaker 02

  It is ovulation.

• 21:28Speaker 01

  And then stays somewhat higher through the luteal phase.

• 21:32Speaker 02

  Okay. Yeah, that's when you get your period and stuff.

• 21:34Speaker 01

  Okay. But it is not highest during the actual period. Huh.

• 21:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's usually the week before that I find is the most productive. Then I start to mellow out again. Once I start bleeding, it's like.

• 21:46Speaker 01

  So that pre-period, that pre-drip kind of?

• 21:48Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm. Uh, yeah, yeah, exactly.

• 21:51Speaker 01

  And is that, that might, is that a crazy term to use?

• 21:54Speaker 02

  Pre-drip?

• 21:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:55Speaker 02

  I feel like that, that makes sense.

• 21:57Speaker 01

  Cause I don't want to be like unprofessional or whatever.

• 21:59Speaker 02

  Have you ever seen Under the Tuscan Sun?

• 22:01Speaker 01

  No, is that a, is that like a, a euphemism for a period or whatever?

• 22:04Speaker 02

  No, no, no. It's a movie, but, um, the whole movie, she's trying to open a faucet and it doesn't work. And then at the end, it just flows and she's happy. That's kind of what it's like.

• 22:13Speaker 01

  Ah.

• 22:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:14Speaker 01

  Oh, like Mad Max or whatever? When they finally get the water?

• 22:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's actually when it's like, ah, it's uphill from here now. It's kind of like, we go through a movie every month.

• 22:24Speaker 01

  Okay. Uh, can you, can you let me know how much testosterone, Trev? Like what is the actual increase? That's so cool. I didn't know that.

• 22:31Speaker 02

  Probably varies from person to person, the amount. Like if you're a lightweight about testosterone, then you just get fucked up on it. Just one shot. That's all it takes.

• 22:40Speaker 01

  But you don't start like, like, I'm trying to think, you don't just start like buying a Corvette or whatever, do you? Like what do you, let me see the mids. In healthy women, the mid-cycle rise in testosterone is small in absolute terms, roughly 10 to 30% higher. Wow. So take me on, is this crazy to even ask you about?

• 22:57Speaker 02

  No, I don't think so.

• 22:58Speaker 01

  Okay. You're from Stockton, right?

• 23:00Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 23:00Speaker 01

  Okay. I just want to get a little bit about your life and then we'll go and, we'll come back and forth. So, take me through like, how do you know if you're getting your period? Are you just like, cause is it almost like you get deja vu, like you're walking and then you feel like, is, does it feel like getting deja vu kind of?

• 23:15Speaker 02

  Um, it feels like I'm start, I, I get obsessive anyway. I'm kind of an obsessive person, but then when I'm about to get my period, I get really obsessive, like almost I can't get out of my thought loops, whereas I can snap myself out. But then when I'm on my period, it makes me fixate on certain things or certain things I thought I resolved. Then it brings it up again and then I just get real like obsessive. I don't know how, but that, it's different for everybody. I'm already obsessive. So I think it enhances it, you know? Um, wh- what was the question?

• 23:44Speaker 01

  How do, ah shit. The question was, like, say I get a period, right? Say I'm walking around town or whatever. And I'm gonna get a period or whatever. How do I know I'm gonna get it? Like, do I, like, do you start to feel like your leg, like, does it feel like your legs sweat? Or do you feel like, so you said you start to feel a little, um, more fixated on stuff?

• 24:06Speaker 02

  I feel.

• 24:06Speaker 01

  And you can notice it?

• 24:07Speaker 02

  Oh yeah. It's super different than.

• 24:09Speaker 01

  Dude, that's crazy, bro.

• 24:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, I get like two weeks where I'm like, pretty happy, like feeling good. And then two weeks of just sled, steady decline and obsessive. And then, you know, like, um, do, do you always see how people perceive you the same way? Is it pretty constant for you?

• 24:28Speaker 01

  That's a good question. So like, do I always think like, yes, I think I do. Yes, I think I do. I think I always kind of think people sort of perceive me the same way.

• 24:37Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 24:37Speaker 01

  I don't know what it is. I haven't specified it, but I do believe that. Yeah.

• 24:40Speaker 02

  Like for me, I feel like sometimes people perceive me better. And then when I'm on, about to get my period, I'm like, ah, everybody hates me.

• 24:49Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 24:49Speaker 02

  That kind of gets like more darker. Ever, like, it's just kind of like real life, but with like a cloud, you know, like a mean dark cloud that's just like, and you have to like, think, no, this isn't, it's kind of like being on drugs, but a really bad one, you know, like, and it's a bad trip for two weeks. But it's like, it's not super intense. I don't know. I don't know how to describe it. It's just.

• 25:12Speaker 01

  No, it's cool. It's the most I ever even talked about it with somebody and it's interesting. Because it's just crazy to think that like, maybe that's why women are so resilient and tough. You know, because they have to like, you know what I'm saying? They got like an interior thing that's go, they got like a, they're going through like a moo, they're going through like a, I don't know what you would call it, like they're almost like going through the four seasons.

• 25:40Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 25:40Speaker 01

  In their body and in their like,

• 25:43Speaker 02

  That's so true.

• 25:44Speaker 01

  In their mind and heart and everything. They're going through all that. So they're like, they're constantly sort of having to monitor and see what's going on with themselves and, and kind of, uh, come back anew kind of.

• 25:54Speaker 02

  Except it's kind of like, uh, summer and winter is what I feel like. It's like summer. And then winter just hits you, just out of nowhere.

• 26:03Speaker 01

  We had a neighbor lady and something had happened to her. I'm trying to think what happened to her. She fell out of a boat or something.

• 26:08Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 26:09Speaker 01

  And it didn't, and it was going too fast. And she, uh, so after that, something was on, kind of unwell with her, with her brain, right?

• 26:19Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 26:20Speaker 01

  She had a brain is, issue. An overall brain issue. And whenever she would get her, uh, period, she would put, uh, like pot, like hand warmers or something on.

• 26:30Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 26:31Speaker 01

  And she would stand out in their yard down the street from us. And she would always sing like Def Leppard or she would sing like, uh, lock up the wolves. It's like, it's like an old song, but it's kind of crazy that she would, that she was basically going through a menstrual cycle and she would sing lock up the wolves.

• 26:47Speaker 02

  It's like, so you think her about to get, that's what made her do it? Did it help her feel better?

• 26:52Speaker 01

  I think it probably did. It was some sort of coping mechanism. She was standing out on the, like, uh, on the, in the porch in the yard and kind of vibrate a little bit. And she would sing like a couple of different songs. And one of them was lock up the wolves. Dear God.

• 27:04Speaker 02

  How does that go?

• 27:06Speaker 01

  Uh, bring up the lyrics to it. Lock up the wolves.

• 27:10Speaker 02

  Okay. It's like a metal song?

• 27:12Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 27:12Speaker 02

  That makes sense.

• 27:14Speaker 01

  Bring up that lock of the wolves, Rodney James, uh, that's Dio right there. Uh, in the house of the holy, to the middle of the mystic sea, at the cradle of the world, there's a black cat screaming and it's not even midnight. No. At the cradle of the world, they're screaming for sanctuary. They're screaming at you. Lock up the wolves. Lock up the wolves. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Does that seem like a period?

• 27:37Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm. Totally. Yeah. Except you want the wolves to get out of you. Get away wolves. Get out. I'm tired of these demons, you know? Enough wolves, enough, you know?

• 27:51Speaker 02

  Get out of my cat, you know, speaking of cats.

• 27:57Speaker 02

  Meow, cause it hurts too.

• 28:00Speaker 01

  Oh dang. Yeah, I gotta think, I gotta, I sometimes gotta remember that. Is it crazy if you approach a woman and ask her where she's at in that sort of cycle pattern? Is that, do women feel like they don't, or I'm sorry, I should, some of this stuff feels like I'm just like.

• 28:15Speaker 02

  Cause I'm a girl, you're asking me about periods? Is that what you feel like?

• 28:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, I just feel like it seems kind of cheesy and I don't mean to do it like that. I just don't ever get to talk about it. And somehow we ended up talking about it.

• 28:23Speaker 02

  It's okay. I wouldn't overthink it.

• 28:25Speaker 01

  Okay, thanks.

• 28:25Speaker 02

  See, it's like, this is what I would be like if I was about to get my period. I would get in my head about, oh my God. As he, I would still be thinking about the mullet comment earlier.

• 28:35Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 28:35Speaker 02

  And I wouldn't be able to be present.

• 28:37Speaker 01

  I think my whole life I've been about to get my period, probably.

• 28:39Speaker 02

  Well, you're a guy. So yeah, exactly.

• 28:42Speaker 01

  Dude, think about it. If you're a guy, you never even get to have your period. You just have to do all the other shit the whole time.

• 28:46Speaker 02

  You're on your period the whole time if you're a guy.

• 28:48Speaker 01

  Oh, you are?

• 28:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's like, us on our periods is closest to a guy, just baseline.

• 28:53Speaker 01

  Well, what if a guy hugs you while you're on your, like, when you're riding that baseline? Is that like, almost like a gay moment, I wonder?

• 28:59Speaker 02

  Maybe. Maybe that's why it's like, you know, if you're straight, you're just like, no.

• 29:05Speaker 01

  Get away from me, buddy.

• 29:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, you only kind of want to be around like, I don't know if you, actually I don't really want to be around anyone.

• 29:11Speaker 01

  Huh.

• 29:11Speaker 02

  Going around my period time.

• 29:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, I just wonder if we all should be wearing some sort of thing that tells how we're doing. So people would know when we get approached, not even ovularly.

• 29:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, you can't tell though, like people's vibe right away. Like, oh, they're not having a good day today.

• 29:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think sometimes you can, but sometimes I think there's a little of you don't know. I met a girl at the gym today and she, um, I could tell she was, something was a little bit uncomfortable, but I didn't know what it was. But then I just said, yeah, what's, what's going on, you know? You seem like you're just maybe having like a, you're thinking about something.

• 29:44Speaker 02

  Maybe like, cause she was like at the gym trying to work out and you went up and hit on her? I don't know. It's like, what's going on? It can't be that I'm interrupting you working out.

• 29:56Speaker 02

  I don't know. I mean, like that can't be it.

• 30:00Speaker 01

  That could have been, that could have been a small part of it.

• 30:02Speaker 02

  You know what I mean? She's there trying to like meet her goal and you're like, so, so baby, which hat?

• 30:09Speaker 02

  Which hat? Do you think, what? You're not enjoying this? Hey, can I ask you about your period?

• 30:17Speaker 02

  Are you on it?

• 30:20Speaker 01

  Oh my God, dude. Well, why didn't somebody tell me that there's something this wrong with me?

• 30:26Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 30:27Speaker 01

  You like my hat?

• 30:29Speaker 02

  Hey, which one? She's like, I'm trying to bench twenties or whatever. I don't know. Please.

• 30:38Speaker 02

  But I don't know, maybe not. Maybe that wasn't it. Could have been something else.

• 30:42Speaker 01

  It could have been anything.

• 30:43Speaker 02

  It could have been anything.

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• 31:16Speaker 01

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• 33:44Speaker 01

  Um Christina Mariani, good to see you today.

• 33:47Speaker 02

  Nice to see you too.

• 33:49Speaker 01

  You're so funny. Thanks for coming by.

• 33:51Speaker 02

  Yeah. Thanks for having me.

• 33:53Speaker 01

  You grew up in Stockton. Take me just, just so our audience knows, because some of our audience knows you, a lot of it does, but some of them might not.

• 34:00Speaker 02

  Okay, yeah.

• 34:00Speaker 01

  And so, uh, take me through a little bit of that, if you don't mind.

• 34:04Speaker 02

  Okay, so I was born in Lodi, California, but just born there. Then I lived in Stockton till I was like four or five. And then I moved to Italy. Um, and then I moved back after a few years when I moved back when I was 11.

• 34:19Speaker 01

  And do you remember being Italian over there?

• 34:21Speaker 02

  Oh yeah, totally. I, uh,

• 34:23Speaker 01

  Really?

• 34:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. I mean, six through 11, you remember things, you know?

• 34:28Speaker 01

  Oh wow, yeah.

• 34:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:30Speaker 01

  And the, the Romans, they're very, are they Romans?

• 34:33Speaker 02

  Some of them, uh, not all of them. The ones in Rome are Romans and then the ones in Tuscany are just Italians, you know?

• 34:40Speaker 01

  And how was it like being around, being an Italian child?

• 34:43Speaker 02

  Um, you know, the kids are a lot more brutal in Italy. They're like wild animals. They'll just like beat you up, you know? Here in America, they're like mean with their words, you know, and like they're more psychological about it. But in Italy, they just are mean or they just beat the shit out of you.

• 35:01Speaker 01

  Really?

• 35:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, I remember when I first moved there, me and my sister went to a birthday party and I think cause we, you know, were new. Um, all the kids started chasing us around and trying to beat the shit out of us. And at first we thought it was like hide and seek or like tag, like a kid game.

• 35:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:18Speaker 02

  And then we were just hiding, like, we were like really got really good at hide and seek. We were hiding under the table. We were calling our mom like, please come get us. But like in Italian, cause it was in Italy, you know?

• 35:28Speaker 01

  Dang.

• 35:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, but, um,

• 35:30Speaker 01

  So there was a level of like, so they got, the Italians, well, they're very handsy. Well, that's the thing. So I guess it goes like, even if it's violence or love or something like that.

• 35:40Speaker 02

  That's true. Yeah, I guess so.

• 35:41Speaker 01

  They're very gesticular, you know, they use their hands when they talk.

• 35:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, totally.

• 35:46Speaker 01

  And when they, I guess, do violence or whatever.

• 35:49Speaker 02

  Yeah. The, yeah, I, yeah.

• 35:51Speaker 01

  Does it, did it feel romantic? Do you think people romanticize? Like, do you ever romanticize like?

• 35:58Speaker 02

  Getting beat up all the time.

• 36:00Speaker 01

  You mean like the mute, getting beat up the musical?

• 36:03Speaker 02

  Getting beat up the musical. My childhood in Italy, the musical. It's just me getting beat up for four years.

• 36:12Speaker 01

  But do you ever kind of like, yeah, do you ever like, I don't know, I guess I wondered if I, cause I like, I'll like romanticize or like, kind of like make something seem greater. That was a long time ago, just because, right?

• 36:22Speaker 02

  Like what, for example?

• 36:23Speaker 01

  Like the past was better, you know?

• 36:25Speaker 02

  But what's in something?

• 36:26Speaker 01

  It could be just like, um, like when I was a kid, if you wanted to know if somebody was at home, you had to go over there and see if they were at home, right?

• 36:36Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 36:36Speaker 01

  Like now you can have your mom text or you could text or send a, uh, uh, just hit them in the chat or whatever, but now, but then you had to walk over there. And you kind of get a clue. Sometimes their cars would be there, car wouldn't be there. Sometimes maybe one of the parents would be home and they'd be homesick or whatever. And you'd even just try to go in and play anyway, like,

• 36:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:56Speaker 01

  But, you know, but you had to go over there and so you had to create this, like, you know, it was kind of like a little bit of, sometimes you'd be too nervous to go ask. You just go stay in there. Like I remember staying by my friend's door for like 10 or 15 minutes until one of his parents or somebody just came out or came by. Like, what are you doing here?

• 37:13Speaker 02

  You just stand there? You're committed?

• 37:15Speaker 01

  Yeah. I'm like, I'm wait, is, is William home, you know?

• 37:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 37:17Speaker 01

  And like, he's not home, he's out of town or whatever. But, you know, so I think something like that, does that make sense, you think?

• 37:23Speaker 02

  Yeah. So like you,

• 37:24Speaker 01

  But I romanticized it that it was tougher for, you know, kids had to do this sort of thing. It's kind of a bad example, I guess.

• 37:29Speaker 02

  So that's not romanticizing if you're thinking it was worse or you think it was better.

• 37:33Speaker 01

  I thought it was better because it challenged you a little bit where you had to actually go kind of, it was just like, I don't know. Things seemed a little bit more like you had to go and have an actual human experience to get a little bit of information.

• 37:44Speaker 02

  Yeah. I mean,

• 37:46Speaker 01

  That's what I mean, I guess.

• 37:47Speaker 02

  No, yeah, I get what you're saying. I feel like everybody says like social media and like just how much access we have to the internet is killing human connection. And I was thinking about it and I think it's killing like the small talk of human connection, you know? Now you can't like, you already know what they did, like superficially. Now, when you see them, you have to like talk about your mental problems, you know, like, okay, I saw that you had a salad for lunch and you're going through a divorce. Tell me how you're feeling.

• 38:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, like show me your croutons.

• 38:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly. It's like, now I know all the boring stuff.

• 38:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm trying to think of some things maybe that I romanticize.

• 38:24Speaker 02

  But is romanticizing, um, healthy, do you think?

• 38:27Speaker 01

  Is that the word? Am I using the right word?

• 38:29Speaker 02

  Yeah. I mean, I feel like if you romanticize something, you're painting it with rose colored glasses.

• 38:33Speaker 01

  Right. That's what I'm saying. It's not exactly like romantic, but it just means you're looking back on something fondly, even though that may not have been the way it was.

• 38:41Speaker 02

  But what was the way it was? Isn't it better to romanticize everything then? So that way you're like looking back at your life all romantical? Cause like, what's the alternative?

• 38:49Speaker 01

  Or something, you mean?

• 38:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, even yesterday, even this morning at the gym, you know, with the girl, you could romantic,

• 38:54Speaker 01

  The harassment, you mean?

• 38:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. You could romanticize that. You could be like, it was unrequited love, you know? Yeah, it was. And eventually the universe will bring you guys together in a more appropriate setting.

• 39:07Speaker 01

  You know, you know what, those videos that are the wildest to see, uh, those reels, bro, some reels, it's like, it's too much. It's like, um, 90% of your shower water is chemicals. Have you seen those reels? It's like,

• 39:19Speaker 02

  Well, yeah, the ones that try to sell you the filters.

• 39:21Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 39:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, I've gotten one.

• 39:23Speaker 01

  Oh, you got one?

• 39:24Speaker 02

  I got one. I believe them. I'm really gullible. I'm a sucker for marketing. Do you know how many best Bloody Marys in the world I've had? So many, because they always say they're the best. And I'm like, I gotta see this for myself, you know? And I believe them. Why are they lying? You know, they're never the best. They're not even close.

• 39:39Speaker 01

  Yeah?

• 39:40Speaker 02

  Yeah. Anyway, sorry. Keep going.

• 39:42Speaker 01

  No, that's good. But they're, all those things are like that. It's like, uh, did you know that your grandmother has forever chemicals in her? You know, it's like hugging your grandmother in the summer again. That's a no-no. And it's like, it's just like shit. It's like, what? Like we can't even hug our grandmothers now. It's like, oh, the forever chemicals that Nana, that Nana has, you'll never get out of your arms, you know?

• 40:03Speaker 02

  Well, if it was your Nana, it was still Phyllis. That's what the chemical, cause she's a whore. I'm sorry. That's a callback from earlier.

• 40:11Speaker 01

  That's fair.

• 40:13Speaker 02

  But I haven't heard that about, um, hugging your grandma. Is that actually something that's like a?

• 40:19Speaker 01

  No, but it's just these things that you see. It's like nosebleeds must be a f*** or whatever, you know? It's like, it, every reel is just something. It's almost like it's just this bot that's making up two things and putting them together.

• 40:32Speaker 02

  I feel like it is a lot of them. It is bots that are doing stuff like that.

• 40:36Speaker 01

  You know, and then it's just like you hold, and then it attaches some sort of thing, like that's a product. You know what I'm saying? It's like nosebleeds must be a f***ing huh? Time to get some roller skates, you know? Or, you know, time to get this new, uh, time to get this new set of ice trays or whatever, you know?

• 40:54Speaker 02

  Yeah. So it's like two things that aren't related at all, but they somehow make it work for the marketing.

• 40:59Speaker 01

  Yeah. And they just, and it, it, it makes so many of them that, that it doesn't even care, dude. Like all it cares in the end is if, is if you buy something, right? One of the craziest things that I see on AI all the time, or I don't know if it's AI, but that I see on, uh, that's reels a lot is the, um, have you seen the one, it's like, if your husband is in Wilmington, Kentucky, and you think he's here on a business trip, think again, baby girl. Have you seen those? Damn.

• 41:29Speaker 02

  No.

• 41:30Speaker 01

  See if you can pull up one of those for me, guys.

• 41:32Speaker 02

  It sounds like they prey on people's fears most of the time, like,

• 41:36Speaker 01

  Yes, this is a fear thing.

• 41:37Speaker 02

  Well, yeah, that's, cause like people respond to fear. That's like, so if they make it seem urgent, like, oh, this is gonna happen, you know? Your grandma's gonna get cancer if you don't buy, I don't know, Splenda, right?

• 41:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:52Speaker 02

  Something like that where it's like, oh man, I don't want grandma to die. I don't want it to be my fault.

• 41:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:56Speaker 02

  I feel like they use that. There's like,

• 41:58Speaker 01

  Here's one. Yeah. What is this one?

• 42:01Speaker 04

  Your name's Meredith and you live in Nashville, Tennessee, and you're dating Kevin and he works at a car dealership. Run.

• 42:10Speaker 04

  He's not just test driving cars, baby. Run.

• 42:13Speaker 01

  But there's like, I see these all the time.

• 42:16Speaker 02

  Well, that's not even trying to sell something. Do you think they're just being nice? Or do you think they're being shitsters?

• 42:20Speaker 01

  That's what I just know. There's just so much everything out there. I just think it is. It's about fear, like you just said. It's like everything out there. It's like, it's just creating like, oh my God, you know? I mean, this guy's a snitch or whatever, which is fine, I guess. But I guess maybe he's a good snitch.

• 42:35Speaker 02

  Or maybe it's not even true. Maybe he was just like, people are gonna find, you know, that he just fabricated it. I always believed them though. I'm always like, oh shit, poor Meredith, you know? I always am like.

• 42:45Speaker 01

  I'll comment sometimes. I'm like, prayers for mayor. You know? I'll put that in there a lot, dude. But yeah, I don't know. There's just so much shit that's out there, I feel like. And it's, I don't know. Sometimes it's fun to figure out if it's entertaining to me, or if it's just kind of like, I need to stay away from it. So, so, okay, so you grew up, you grew up until 11 in Italy and then you moved to where?

• 43:07Speaker 02

  And then I moved to Stockton again.

• 43:09Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 43:10Speaker 02

  We moved back, yeah.

• 43:11Speaker 01

  Did you ever see Nate Diaz over there?

• 43:12Speaker 02

  No, you know, I feel like every time I've been on Kill Tony, Tony always asks me that. No, no, no, it's okay. It's, that's the only thing Stockton's really known for, I think. I don't think it's really, nobody, there's nothing else going on there. No, I ne- I never have.

• 43:27Speaker 01

  Well, how would you describe Stockton then as? Like, what would you say is about it? Cause there's probably a lot of great things about it. I know there's a lot of missing people up there.

• 43:33Speaker 02

  Mm hmm, yeah. Crime is a big one.

• 43:37Speaker 01

  What else do they have? I know there's cigarettes, I know.

• 43:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, cigarettes.

• 43:40Speaker 01

  The Kings.

• 43:41Speaker 02

  The Kings, yeah. No, that's in Sacramento.

• 43:43Speaker 01

  Oh, Sacramento.

• 43:44Speaker 02

  Wait, is there a Kings in Stockton? No. Basketball, Sacramento.

• 43:48Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 43:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, right?

• 43:49Speaker 01

  Yeah. So tell me a little bit about Stockton then.

• 43:51Speaker 02

  Um, I mean, you kind of nailed it, I think. That was pretty much it. Um, I liked it though. I think when you grow up somewhere, you think that's your baseline. I think it's better to grow up somewhere that's not that great. Cause then, as I've moved around places, everywhere else has been way better.

• 44:07Speaker 01

  Oh, that's interesting.

• 44:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, so. Um, my baseline is low for where I lived. Cause if you live somewhere like really pretty, like, um, I don't know, Aspen? Then everywhere else you're gonna be like, or Australia, like, can you imagine? And then you move to Stockton? But I guess I went from Italy to Stockton, but. I don't know.

• 44:25Speaker 01

  That's a crazy push to Italy to Stockton.

• 44:28Speaker 02

  For sure. I lived in the mountains. It was like in an isolated town.

• 44:32Speaker 01

  In Italy?

• 44:32Speaker 02

  In Italy, yeah. There's like 300 people, Corfino.

• 44:35Speaker 01

  In Corfino?

• 44:36Speaker 02

  Nobody even knows about it. I feel like, uh, when you look it up on Google, it used to say human settlement. It didn't even say like town or village.

• 44:44Speaker 01

  Wow, that's it?

• 44:46Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 44:48Speaker 01

  Oh my gosh.

• 44:49Speaker 02

  Nope, it's not. See, they always think it's in Abruzzo. No, it's in Tuscany.

• 44:53Speaker 01

  It's in Tuscany, man.

• 44:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, this is wrong. See, there's an I, it's N O.

• 44:56Speaker 01

  Man.

• 44:57Speaker 02

  I, uh, but that's how tiny it is. It always brings up that one.

• 45:01Speaker 01

  Got it.

• 45:01Speaker 02

  It's the wrong, it's an imposter.

• 45:02Speaker 01

  No.

• 45:05Speaker 01

  300 people live there?

• 45:06Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 45:07Speaker 01

  Oh my gosh.

• 45:08Speaker 02

  Oh my, but as a kid, that was awesome.

• 45:10Speaker 01

  It's a perfect amount.

• 45:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, we, the whole town was basically like, we could play hide and seek in, which was good for me.

• 45:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, with the violence. Do you remember leaving it?

• 45:20Speaker 02

  Uh, not really. Um, it was really sudden. Our house is still, like, when I go visit.

• 45:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:31Speaker 02

  It's still my ha- my room when I was like nine or 10. There's still my toys. Yeah, my parents still have the house we grew up in. Um, but it's still like untouched. It's like a time capsule. Yeah, so it's crazy. I go back and I was still playing with like Barbies and they're still out and it's just there and it's crazy, kinda.

• 45:50Speaker 01

  That's wild. That's stranger things.

• 45:52Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 45:53Speaker 01

  Dang. And so, uh, why did your family move?

• 45:56Speaker 02

  Um, I think my dad, he's really ambitious. He's always been a real like project starter and it's just a tiny town. And he got stir crazy, I think. And so he was like, I can't do this anymore. Um, then he wanted to move back. Yeah, I think also, um, just in those tiny towns, you know, people are in each other's business all the time. And I think he got sick of that.

• 46:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:21Speaker 01

  Makes sense to me.

• 46:21Speaker 02

  It makes sense to me too. I don't think I would want to live there now. I think if I were to live there, it'd be when I'm like, you know, retired. It's really pretty, you know, like I could write up there a book or something, you know?

• 46:33Speaker 01

  Oh yeah, I always romanticize about writing a book somewhere.

• 46:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:36Speaker 01

  Oh, I'll write a book.

• 46:38Speaker 02

  What would you write a book about?

• 46:39Speaker 01

  Hmm, I would probably write a book just about.

• 46:46Speaker 01

  I don't know. I thought about two guys that aren't married that just keep giving each other shitty advice about like, like they keep being each other's like, I'm gonna help you find somebody type of thing. I thought that'd be a funny thing to write about. I would write about growing up, just people that I knew, stories from home, things like that, things that I thought about, things that I think about now. Um, I would write a book, maybe a cook, and so, some of it would be words, some of it would be recipes.

• 47:12Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 47:13Speaker 01

  A little bit of that, maybe.

• 47:15Speaker 02

  Words and recipes?

• 47:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:16Speaker 02

  A book is kind of like a bunch of words.

• 47:19Speaker 01

  Well, cause sometimes I'm reading, I get hungry.

• 47:21Speaker 02

  That's a recipe, huh?

• 47:22Speaker 01

  Sometimes I'm reading a book and I get hungry and I'm like, oh.

• 47:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. No, I get that. It's kind of like watching a movie, then you get hungry. It's cause your brain's preoccupied and it's nice to do something while you're.

• 47:32Speaker 01

  Right. I want to do two things at once, you know?

• 47:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:35Speaker 01

  But also, if you're reading or get hungry, or you're, and a recipe's right there.

• 47:42Speaker 01

  Or a movie had a recipe right in the middle of it.

• 47:44Speaker 02

  So you're saying like if, um.

• 47:46Speaker 01

  Like a recipe movie?

• 47:47Speaker 02

  Like, oh, so it's not like Die Hard? And then in the middle, there's just a recipe for some reason?

• 47:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, it is that.

• 47:52Speaker 02

  He stops to like.

• 47:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, it is that.

• 47:54Speaker 02

  Okay, like that. So he stops and he's just like, okay, let me make some food or like just read the recipe? Or does he go through with it? Then he goes back to killing German terrorists.

• 48:03Speaker 01

  Oh, does, now if you could get, that would be cool. If that person in the movie.

• 48:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:07Speaker 01

  Like Daniel Day Lewis is suddenly.

• 48:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, that's what I mean.

• 48:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, helping you make like a tuna tartare or something. I think something like that would be pretty wild, you know? Or he's helping you make like a bouillabaisse or some kind of, you know, like a nice soup or something, a croye spot or get, uh, gazpacho or something?

• 48:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, or like untaken, you know, he's looking for his daughter, but he has to eat still.

• 48:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, and now he's looking for ingredients and it's covered.

• 48:30Speaker 02

  For all the ingredients.

• 48:32Speaker 01

  That'd be cool.

• 48:34Speaker 01

  Dude, yes, I used to think of like a bunch of TV shows and I'm not thinking of that many anymore. Have you ever had, did you try to pitch television and stuff? Like once you got into Hollywood, did you try to pitch like, on once you got into like entertainment?

• 48:43Speaker 02

  Oh, I've just been working on some like things, but I had nothing that I'm like comfortable pitching or anything yet, you know?

• 48:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:50Speaker 02

  But yeah, I mean, just being creative, it's fun to like explore.

• 48:54Speaker 01

  Did you have a dream for like a sitcom type of thing? Like, or did like, what was kind of your motivation towards like getting into comedy? Like, there was a time probably before my generation where a lot of people were like, I want to get a sitcom, you know? And then now I think it's been, it's been a little bit more like, I want to get a special and I want to get, like my generation probably like, uh, I want to get a special or I want to get a podcast, right? Maybe those things?

• 49:18Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 49:18Speaker 01

  But.

• 49:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:19Speaker 01

  I wonder like, yeah, was it like, what was some of the reason like that, like that you kind of got into like being creative like in this way?

• 49:28Speaker 02

  Well, I guess I've always really liked writing and, um, being artsy ever since I was a kid. And then for a while, I kind of neglected that part and you know, like when you become a teenager and then college and then I was just kind of lost and.

• 49:43Speaker 01

  How'd you neglect it? What do you mean? Like drugs? You went into nursing?

• 49:46Speaker 02

  No, no. I, I think just, um, you start. Other things seem to matter more than just being creative, you know? Cause like kids start bullying you and then you start worrying about what people think about you. And I remember I used to never, a lot of things that then I got insecure about, I never knew. I was just focused on like creating or like drawing or writing. And then something like, is like, oh, this matters now, like all the social like aspect. And then, you know, you gotta get lost and you got, it's sidetracked. And then when I figured out what I wanted to do after I graduated college, I was in insurance and I, after a year, I wanted to kill myself. And I was like, how did I end up being in an insurance job?

• 50:27Speaker 02

  And then I started thinking what did I do as a kid that I had made me like enjoy life so much? And then I kind of started doing that stuff again. And then I, that plus things that scared me. And so then I got into like trying to do comedy, cause that's something I always like wanted to do, but I always was like scared and I thought it wasn't like something you could really do, you know?

• 50:48Speaker 01

  Did you see a certain comedian that made you be like that? Or did you see like?

• 50:54Speaker 01

  It made you think like? Yeah, cause sometimes I don't remember if there was a certain comedian. I mean, maybe Chris Rock probably, or.

• 51:02Speaker 01

  I mean, Eddie Murphy was like the biggest that people would pass for when I was young, you know? But then it was like, uh. Yeah, I don't know. I'm trying to think of other ones. I mean, there was like John Caparulo. There was like, um.

• 51:16Speaker 01

  I'm trying to think of it was like a certain comedian that really got me into it. Uh, one time I just went to a comedy club. They gave you free tickets. They would call all the time and give free tickets. And I'd never been to a comedy club. I'd never even, I'd seen comedy like, uh, on television and stuff like that, but I'd never seen it live.

• 51:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:31Speaker 01

  And so I went to a live show and I was like, oh my God, so this is how it works. And like, somebody gets up there and they do this and then people laugh and everybody's just like in a room having a good time. I was like, this is so fascinating. I needed that like exact, direct proof of like seeing it, you know?

• 51:48Speaker 02

  Interesting.

• 51:48Speaker 01

  What about you?

• 51:49Speaker 02

  I never had like a comedian that I saw. I just always liked to make people laugh for some reason when I was a kid, to the point where my mom would get annoyed with me cause I wasn't that funny. When I was like, yeah, I would try to make people laugh, cause for some reason I loved when they laughed at something I say. And then I would repeat it over and over again. And then my mom would be like, you gotta shut up. That's just fucking annoying and, um. I would always want to make my dad laugh, cause I felt like I got his approval when he laughed. He was pretty strict dad, you know? So then when I could make him laugh, he wouldn't laugh at anything. I would feel like, so then that was something too, like, um.

• 52:22Speaker 01

  Like making a black guy laugh, kind of?

• 52:23Speaker 02

  Kinda, yeah, absolutely. That was my dad. He was, um.

• 52:27Speaker 01

  He's the black guy of the family?

• 52:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's the black president father though, very much.

• 52:32Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 52:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, like, he was, he was there, you know? Yeah, he was very.

• 52:43Speaker 02

  Um, but uh, I, I forgot what I was saying. I'm sorry.

• 52:48Speaker 01

  Oh, no, that's okay.

• 52:49Speaker 02

  So I was, I just like to make people laugh always and I like to create. And so even when I got into comedy, I didn't have like, oh, I wanna get on a TV show or anything. I just really liked doing it and I just knew it felt right. And so then I just like, liked to write and get on stage and perform it. And so I've just been kinda like, oh, this, I just love to do this. And um, I like exploring other avenues too, but this is like the thing I really like to do.

• 53:17Speaker 01

  Has touring been tougher than you thought? Has it been a good time? Are you enjoying more when you just get to be at home?

• 53:24Speaker 02

  I love it.

• 53:24Speaker 01

  Cause you seem to be out there a bit.

• 53:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, I really like it. I like uh, going to the airport. I like being on a plane. I like being in hotels. I like the whole experience.

• 53:33Speaker 01

  Really?

• 53:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's like relaxing. I don't know uh, why. Like being on a plane is relaxing. All I gotta do is think. I like to just like, close my eyes and just think.

• 53:43Speaker 01

  Will you sleep on the plane sometimes?

• 53:44Speaker 02

  I can't, I can't sleep, but I'll like, get like relaxed, kinda daydream, you know, like and just think about things.

• 53:50Speaker 01

  Oh, that's probably a good, that's a good call.

• 53:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's, it's, it's nice, you know, um.

• 53:55Speaker 01

  Yeah. Oh, yeah, dude. The other day I was on a plane and my friend that was with me, he had to fricking do uh, CPR on somebody.

• 54:02Speaker 02

  On the plane?

• 54:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:03Speaker 02

  What, what airline?

• 54:05Speaker 01

  And I was like, it was on Delta. And I was like, dude, do not go do CPR. They're like, does anybody know CPR? And he fucking raises his hand. I'm like, dude, do not go do CPR right now, dude.

• 54:14Speaker 02

  Cause he couldn't do it? That he lied?

• 54:16Speaker 01

  I didn't know if he could do it. He's like, dude, I can do it. I was like, dude, cannot, you cannot do it. He had a couple of drinks. I was like, you cannot be, have a couple of drinks and do CPR on somebody.

• 54:28Speaker 02

  But, I mean, yeah, what if he threw up in his mouth? Crazy.

• 54:35Speaker 02

  The other guy said.

• 54:36Speaker 01

  What if that then brings the guy back?

• 54:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he throws up and they keep throwing up in each other's mouths, but they're both alive.

• 54:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:44Speaker 02

  At least.

• 54:45Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. Oh, that's romantic.

• 54:46Speaker 02

  Yeah. So did he? Did he do it? Did he give him CPR?

• 54:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, he did it, man. And they got the guy going again. They got him back up. They puffed him up to almost 200 PSI.

• 54:56Speaker 02

  Oh, nice.

• 54:56Speaker 01

  Build him up.

• 54:57Speaker 02

  That sounds good.

• 54:58Speaker 01

  Um, dude, one time, I told this story before, but one time I was at a restaurant. It was like a breakfast, breakfast buffet.

• 55:06Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 55:07Speaker 01

  And Magic Johnson was there. And somebody started, they needed CPR or whatever. So this guy like, it was at a table. It's like a kind of a nice place. And so they just kinda bring out one of those like, you know, those folding walls? Those Chinese folding walls or whatever, that they bring out like a sectioner, like a section?

• 55:27Speaker 02

  Like origami?

• 55:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's like a sectional that.

• 55:32Speaker 02

  Oh, okay, yeah.

• 55:33Speaker 01

  Yeah. Uh.

• 55:35Speaker 02

  I think origami is Japanese anyways.

• 55:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, like a panel thing. Just to make a, make like a little area for something.

• 55:41Speaker 02

  Okay, okay.

• 55:41Speaker 01

  They bring, they bring one or two of those out and they're just doing CPR behind this, these like little sectionals, while we're, all the rest of us are supposed to be eating. And you can hear him like hammering away on this dude. Like they're doing like baritone shit on him. And we're all like, when do we eat? Like, cause it's like, cause it's buffet and it's nice. And it was like.

• 56:04Speaker 02

  On the plane?

• 56:05Speaker 01

  No, this was awful plane.

• 56:06Speaker 02

  Oh, okay. I was picturing this was all on a plane. I was like, there's a buffet on the plane?

• 56:11Speaker 01

  No, this, this was at a hotel, dude.

• 56:13Speaker 02

  Delta's really stepped up.

• 56:14Speaker 01

  This was at a hotel.

• 56:16Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 56:16Speaker 01

  And uh, so everybody starts looking at Magic Johnson to know when to eat. Cause he just became like, it's weird, like in a tribe, like somebody kinda becomes the leader. And everybody just looks over at Magic Johnson. We're like, oh, waiting for him to eat. And he had like a plate of little sausages, I remember. And everybody's just waiting for him to have a little sausage so we can all eat. It was kinda crazy, just like. And then they got the guy going. They got him popping, you know, you could hear him kinda gurgling a little bit and popping or something. And uh, and then he went down again. So we all started eating and then everybody was like, huh. Everybody had to like set their silverware down again and be like, okay.

• 56:56Speaker 02

  Oh, man.

• 56:56Speaker 01

  You know?

• 56:57Speaker 02

  That's, that's crazy because um, what that story tells me is that no one really cared about how the guy was doing. Everybody just wanted to eat. And then they had to pretend, because if not, you look like a horrible person. But everybody really just wanted to eat. Cause it's like, who is this guy and who sent him to ruin our meal? That's kinda the vibe that I'm picking up on. Cause if you're worried about, hey, can we eat? You're not caring about the guy dying. Nobody gave a fuck. That sucks.

• 57:22Speaker 01

  Dude, oh, here was the worst part though. We kept seeing the dude that had saved, cause somebody saved him the first time and then that guy had been like pumping too hard. He'd been like, and I think his tries had worn out or whatever. And he said his tries locked up because he had like a, he'd been overdoing creatine or whatever. I guess your arms can lock up if you have too much creatine.

• 57:40Speaker 02

  What? It's like the opposite of oiling your joints?

• 57:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think he had just, cause he was over there. I mean, seven or eight minutes, they were over there just looking for oil in this guy, dude. They were over there pumping him and you could hear him and you know, and like, everybody's just like, it was almost like everybody's like, yeah, and everybody's just waiting to finish their food, which was getting cold.

• 57:59Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 58:00Speaker 01

  You know, and it's not like save the guy fast, but it's like, save him or don't save him. Don't say like, cause he, dude, I will say this. At a certain point, you started to kinda feel like, hey, this guy's had enough. You know what I'm saying? Like, hey, guys, we all kinda feel like, that's enough. Like.

• 58:15Speaker 02

  We gave it our best shot, the musical.

• 58:19Speaker 01

  It's just, it's 40 minutes of CPR.

• 58:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:22Speaker 01

  So then they get him popping and then he goes down again. So everybody's like, fuck, fuck, fuck, you know? And I'm like, Magic Johnson, help out. Like, you, you know, go over there and fucking, cause he's, he's so good at like dribbling. It's like, just go dribble the guy's fucking shit. You know what I'm saying? You would think if he just would go over there and just double dribble the guy's heartbeat, you know? I don't know, but that's just me.

• 58:44Speaker 02

  He just becomes black.

• 58:47Speaker 02

  He's like, oh shit. And then he gets a heart attack. Bad hearts.

• 58:50Speaker 01

  Oh, do blah, blah, blah, blacks, folks have bad hearts?

• 58:51Speaker 02

  I think so, right? Isn't it in like high cholesterol or?

• 58:54Speaker 01

  I think it's they get sugar in their heart.

• 58:56Speaker 02

  The sugar just goes right to their heart?

• 58:58Speaker 01

  I'm not sure of that. That sounds insane, but I think they get sugar in their heart. Cause they have a lot of, uh, uh, some black people have too much sugar. Cause there's even people stopping and you'll see people don't have any more sugar. I've seen a couple of black guys in my area. They'll have a shirt on and says, I can't have sugar. Don't give me sugar.

• 59:14Speaker 02

  Really?

• 59:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:17Speaker 01

  Black adults are about 30 to 50% pers- percent more likely to die from cardiovascular disease than non-Hispanic white adults.

• 59:24Speaker 02

  I wonder why?

• 59:25Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 59:25Speaker 02

  Does it say?

• 59:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, it say why. Can you just ask why at the bottom? And this is on perplexity right here. Um, social determinants of health. Let me see, lower income, unemployment and poverty, increased stress. That makes sense. Unequal access to healthcare. So some uh, internal and external, higher rates of high blood pressure. Dude, you know, what was I thinking about the other day? What was I thinking about? Oh, do you see, there was like, I was thinking about AI and just like the truckers that are like, like they won't even have any more, like they would have some autonomous trucks out there?

• 1:00:01Speaker 02

  So like self-driving?

• 1:00:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:00:04Speaker 01

  And the self-driving stuff kinda gets me a little bit. Have you seen the first time a Waymo sees a gay guy? Have you seen that?

• 1:00:10Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:00:10Speaker 01

  Oh, that's good. I'm trying to think, see if you guys can find that. But dude, an autonomous truck and what if some, what if like some lot lizard is parked behind like a, you know, a flying Jays or whatever, like it's parked behind like a Buc-E's or whatever? And some lot lizard just climbs in the cab, you know, like one of those like kind of parking lot escorts or whatever? She climbs in the cab and she's like, what do they even do then?

• 1:00:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, um, I, I would think they would have the doors locked so you wouldn't lock, specifically for lot lizards that like, like to pleasure trucks.

• 1:00:40Speaker 01

  I think you gotta let them in though. You gotta give the truck the full experience.

• 1:00:44Speaker 02

  That's true. The truck's probably pissed.

• 1:00:47Speaker 01

  Driverless semis.

• 1:00:47Speaker 05

  Driverless semi trucks have started running regular long haul routes in Texas.

• 1:00:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:53Speaker 05

  Semis from the autonomous truck company Aurora have computers and sensors that can see for more than four football fields. The company is starting out with a single self-driving truck and plans to add more by the end of the year.

• 1:01:06Speaker 01

  Fuck that, dude. That's too much for me. Um, what was your journey kinda when you got into comedy in the beginning?

• 1:01:14Speaker 02

  Um.

• 1:01:14Speaker 01

  So you said you kinda got up to be creative. Did you end up feeling, did you try other outlets first? Like, did you, was there like, music or was there?

• 1:01:23Speaker 02

  Well, I used to, um, one thing I was scared of was leaving uh, uh, home because I feel like I'd just always been just, you know, my family's really Italian, really close. They don't really like it when you leave, you know? So I was really nervous to like, leave. So that was the first thing I did that made me scared was leaving. I knew they were gonna get mad at me, but I did it anyway. And I drove from California to Texas. And then once I was, um, and before that, I would do things like go to the Grand Canyon by myself, for example, and like, um.

• 1:01:57Speaker 01

  Like to practice being out on your own?

• 1:01:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, or to like practice just um, yeah, just being by myself and doing things that, like, I used to feel self-conscious about eating by myself in a restaurant, you know? So then I started just doing that to get over that feeling embarrassed, like oh, like, just feeling a lot of shame. I did a lot of things to get over all these dumb things I feel shame about. Cause I had a lot of guilt and shame, I get from growing up, I think Catholic. And so I would just, I started doing a bunch of stuff to get me over that. And um, just not, not care about what people thought anymore. Cause that was, I realized that that was keeping me prisoner in my own life. And I wasn't able to like live it how I wanted. And if I kept doing it, I was just gonna wake up one day

• 1:02:43Speaker 02

  and be old and be like, where the fuck did my life go? I didn't even do what I wanted. Cause I was so worried about what everybody else was thinking about me.

• 1:02:50Speaker 01

  Do you know how you kinda got through that moment? I can relate to that a lot. Like recently I started, like took a, like I finished touring for like a long time and I've been touring for like. I don't even know, I've probably done twen- half the weekends every year, you know, four days a week for twenty years, maybe. Uh, every other week, so not all the time, but I've been touring for a long time and now there's just like, I have no comedy dates on the books. I don't even have to do it if I don't want to. It's like, you know, I do want to, I'm feeling, but it's like, but for the first time I was like, a little bit of me was like, well, who am I? You know, like, I don't, like, I didn't have, I always kind of defined myself, I think, by like achievements. Like some sort of achievement.

• 1:03:28Speaker 01

  And I don't even feel much reward from achievements, but it's just the only way I knew to like have like, to define myself for some reason.

• 1:03:36Speaker 02

  It's like a measure, at least.

• 1:03:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was just something like, am I okay? Like, am I, like, I guess, I guess this means I'm okay, right? If I'm achieving something, then I must be okay, right? So that, that's just been like such a spot where I'm at.

• 1:03:51Speaker 02

  Right now, you mean like two?

• 1:03:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, just recently I've been there. I'm just recently been there and I went into this plant medicine and, and I started like, but they record you while you do it, like while you're under it. So then you can go back and listen to the recording after. Most of the stuff, most of the stuff I was saying was just like, am I okay? Am I okay? Am I okay? It was like this, like, this voice inside of me is asking this all the time.

• 1:04:16Speaker 02

  So do you feel like when you achieve things, you can, you're like, okay, well, I must be doing fine because I did this and this and this. But then you feel kind of empty inside because it's more like, oh, this is just something that everybody gets to see that you did, but it's not really about you. It's not really necessarily like, do you know you're like the things you value? Do you live with like, doing things like, oh, I'm nurturing this thing that I value and this thing, or is it more like, oh, this is the goal I need to achieve? And then you kind of ignore what you value to get to it.

• 1:04:47Speaker 01

  No, I don't ignore what I value to get to it, but I do, I don't, I, I think I haven't had like a lot of like strong list of what my values are. I think I have them. I know I have them, but I've never really kind of listed them out. So funny you say that. That's kind of like what I'm working on with this therapist right now is like, well, what are your values? What are your beliefs?

• 1:05:07Speaker 01

  And, um, and, and actually being able to see, okay, well, what I'm doing, does this go towards, does this like honor those? Or is this something that doesn't honor those?

• 1:05:17Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:05:18Speaker 01

  So at least to give me more of like a, a, a map, like kind of a chart of what's going on.

• 1:05:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:05:24Speaker 01

  No, I just think I didn't know any way, um,

• 1:05:30Speaker 01

  I didn't, I, I never felt like, look at me. I just felt like, well, what's a way that you can know you're okay? And it's like, okay, well, if I have to achieve something, right? Like if I do something, then, and it, and we get it done. And everybody, and, and, and it seems like everybody thinks it's fine, then it must be fine. You know, I just didn't have any, I didn't have any other, I'd never had a pattern built inside of me. That's like, well, this is really what means something to you and this, you know? Does that make any sense?

• 1:06:03Speaker 02

  It makes, I think so, if I'm understanding it correctly. Um, so it's kind of like you, it, doesn't it feel almost though, like then you're not super present in your life when you're focusing on like, okay, this is what I gotta do. And then you're not really like, really absorbing every moment. And then that gives you so much anxiety because then you get to it and it's like, oh, well, where did all that time go? That I got to this, but I didn't even live and now more time has passed and now I got it, but to what cost? I didn't even like really spend the time enjoying it.

• 1:06:34Speaker 01

  Yeah. Oh dude, it's so crazy. It's like you're reading what I was writing out yesterday. Yeah, that's what this therapist was saying. It's like, well, you have to take time when you have certain things that you're proud of, that you recognize that with yourself. Okay, man, I'm proud of you. You did a good job and, or we did a good job or this is neat.

• 1:06:53Speaker 01

  And so, yeah, I just, I never, I don't know. I never, I didn't have a strong other value system. Like thankfully I didn't have like a strong immoral value system where I thought like crime or murder, stuff like that was okay. I knew those things, but I didn't have a much other sense of like, um,

• 1:07:14Speaker 01

  yeah, I don't know. I guess I just, the only way I knew how to be seen, like, like, I guess if there was some sort of achievement, then I was being seen, I guess, or something. And, and then that made things kind of okay. But yeah, at a certain point, you're just like, I, I was even,

• 1:07:30Speaker 02

  There.

• 1:07:31Speaker 01

  I wasn't even there.

• 1:07:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, I get it.

• 1:07:32Speaker 01

  That's what it felt like. I felt like I got to the end of this touring and I was like,

• 1:07:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:07:36Speaker 01

  Where am I?

• 1:07:37Speaker 02

  And it's like, and you, and then you think, but I should have been like really enjoying this the whole time, but I was just in my head thinking about like, either being hard on myself or like,

• 1:07:45Speaker 01

  That's what it was.

• 1:07:46Speaker 02

  That's what it is. And then you're not like being really immersed in it and then it passes you by and it's like,

• 1:07:53Speaker 02

  this is a cool thing. Everyone thinks it's a cool thing, but I wasn't even really there. Like if I'm really being honest.

• 1:07:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:59Speaker 02

  And it's hard to separate that, like wanting to do something just right and being present and just letting yourself exist without worrying about doing it bad, you know? Cause it's like, you still want to be like well represented, but then that's still caring about what other people think and it's not making you be in the, I think about this stuff a lot too, because I struggle with this stuff too.

• 1:08:19Speaker 01

  Do you?

• 1:08:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. That's how I can, that's how I can read it.

• 1:08:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, as you're saying this, I'm like, damn, that's so crazy.

• 1:08:25Speaker 02

  I've had these thoughts too before, because you get really in your head, you beat yourself up all the time.

• 1:08:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, people are like, dude, you're so hard on yourself.

• 1:08:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:08:33Speaker 01

  It's like, I, I don't know. I, I feel that some, but it's like, it's the only way I know how, it's like,

• 1:08:40Speaker 02

  It doesn't even feel like you're being hard on yourself when you do it. It just feels like you're being realistic and you're being like, well, I'm just not an idiot. And you see people all the time that are like not hard on themselves. And then you're like, well, I don't want to be delusional like that, because that's not helping them, you know? So if anything, I err on the side of caution and I'm a little bit, I see myself in a little bit worse than what probably is true, just in case, so I can improve from that. Does that make sense?

• 1:09:03Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 1:09:06Speaker 02

  You know, but then, but then you get to these milestones and you're like, why was I stressed out for so long? You know? And then somebody will ask you on a podcast, like, what was your favorite part about touring? And you're like, fuck, I was stressed out the whole time. I don't even, I can't even remember something. Like I, obviously I was doing exactly what I want to be doing, but I was so stressed out. I didn't even like enjoy so much of it. And then you're like, fuck.

• 1:09:30Speaker 01

  It's kind of like in, you get in like kind of this like paddle ball match with yourself, or like this, you get in like this, uh, padel, pad, what do they call it?

• 1:09:39Speaker 02

  Ping pong?

• 1:09:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. You get in like this ping pong match with yourself. But yeah, I think in the end it's like, I don't know, it takes focus to like do certain things and it does take like, um, a lot of self-monitoring and stuff. Like I grew up with like a lot of self-monitoring, like always kind of monitoring myself. Like, is this okay? Is this okay? Do I seem okay? How do I seem? Am I okay?

• 1:10:00Speaker 02

  How, where do you think you got that from?

• 1:10:02Speaker 01

  I think I just didn't have anybody telling me that everything, anything was okay.

• 1:10:05Speaker 02

  So you had to guess, kind of?

• 1:10:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, so constantly guessing. Like I used to do like things like to soothe myself when I was growing up, like I would rock on my bed all the time as a kid.

• 1:10:15Speaker 01

  Like my brother and I's bed were on wheels and they would wake, in the morning they'd be across the room. Like we would both have like rocked or, and sometimes they would be like, kind of like over by, like they were both trying to get out of the room. Like it was like cars trying to leave.

• 1:10:27Speaker 02

  Traffic jam.

• 1:10:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, traffic jam. Um, I used to walk, like step on certain things, like monitor where I was walking. I used to swallow on both sides of my mouth, like, uh,

• 1:10:36Speaker 02

  Like bite your cheek, kind of? Yeah, yeah.

• 1:10:38Speaker 01

  Do certain things, because just to create patterns, so some, so things would make sense to me in my life. Like, because I think I just didn't, I had no idea if anything made sense.

• 1:10:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:10:48Speaker 01

  And it was harrowing, I think, as a kid, because then you're so inter, you're just, everything's internal. You're like this sort of like a fish that fucking somebody put on some land.

• 1:10:56Speaker 02

  No, I feel like,

• 1:10:57Speaker 01

  And let you be alive.

• 1:10:58Speaker 02

  I feel like I, um, I had most of my existential crises as a kid. I feel like people have them as adults.

• 1:11:05Speaker 01

  Existentially, existential crisis. You guys bring it up, just so we can say it, because I know people, we say it all the time.

• 1:11:10Speaker 02

  But also maybe that's not the right word for this, because I was a kid, but, um, I just, I was just, had so many questions as a kid and I, I was one of those kids that asked questions to my mom all the time and I'd freak out. I get like, I'd throw up sometimes because things didn't make sense, like, you know?

• 1:11:29Speaker 01

  That sounds like a cartoon character, sorry.

• 1:11:31Speaker 02

  No, no, no, but it, but it didn't like, um, like being in space and then black holes. And then I'd worry about a black hole forming right next to the earth and my mom wouldn't have the answers. I'm like, but how do you know? But how do you know? Like that, that can't happen. And just stuff like that. Yeah.

• 1:11:47Speaker 01

  Oh yeah. When I heard, I was worried a black hole, that the music would be so loud in there.

• 1:11:51Speaker 02

  In a black hole?

• 1:11:52Speaker 01

  Yeah. And I'm like, I'm gonna fucking hate that shit. That's why I did not want to be an astronaut.

• 1:11:56Speaker 02

  That's so funny. That's so autistic. You didn't want to do it for the loud noises?

• 1:12:00Speaker 01

  Well, just allow music. I'm like, I'm gonna fucking call the cops. They're gonna come over. Everybody's gonna get pissed. They're gonna make a, it's gonna be a world star video or whatever. Um, what an existential crisis is, an existential crisis isn't a formal mental health diagnosis. It's a pattern of thoughts and feelings centered on big questions like who am I? What's my purpose? Does anything really matter? How should I live, given that life is finite?

• 1:12:23Speaker 02

  That's literally what I would think about as a five-year-old. And I remember just seeing other kids playing and stuff and I would just be like, mom, what's, you know, is the world gonna end? You know, like just stuff like that, like, uh,

• 1:12:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, I had to worry too early, I think.

• 1:12:38Speaker 02

  I, yeah, yeah, I think me too. Yeah, worried all the time.

• 1:12:42Speaker 01

  Why do you think you had to do it though?

• 1:12:43Speaker 02

  I didn't, I don't know. I think I just was curious. I think it comes from curiosity. Isn't curiosity cool? Like it's like so double edged sword, because curiosity makes us want to create and ask things. But then also curiosity is the reason for like, I don't know, bestiality, for example. Right? Because it's like, it's all coming from like, I wonder what if?

• 1:13:04Speaker 01

  Oh yeah, that's true. Bestiality.

• 1:13:07Speaker 02

  That's why the cat got killed. It's because of that, because curiosity.

• 1:13:12Speaker 01

  I didn't want to see that. If they do like a mural of that, I don't want to see it.

• 1:13:17Speaker 02

  Of a cat?

• 1:13:18Speaker 01

  If a cat got killed through bestiality, I'm out.

• 1:13:24Speaker 02

  Sorry, I don't know how I got down that train of thought.

• 1:13:27Speaker 01

  No worries.

• 1:13:27Speaker 02

  We're talking about being curious and I don't know why I thought of that.

• 1:13:31Speaker 01

  No worries. I don't think we even know what we're talking about, but it's good.

• 1:13:33Speaker 02

  No, no, we're talking about like just being.

• 1:13:34Speaker 01

  Do you think we're making any sense at all?

• 1:13:36Speaker 02

  I, I'm.

• 1:13:36Speaker 01

  You guys think so?

• 1:13:37Speaker 02

  I'm following you and I think I know what you're saying. Do you know what I'm saying?

• 1:13:41Speaker 01

  I think so.

• 1:13:42Speaker 02

  Are you like thinking about the girl in the gym?

• 1:13:43Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:13:44Speaker 02

  Okay. What if this whole time when we were talking, that's just what you were thinking about?

• 1:13:48Speaker 01

  Oh, no, no, no, no. I wouldn't let my brain just like, I don't let my brain just do that anymore. Like I'll try to stay locked. I'm happy to be here with you.

• 1:13:57Speaker 02

  Sometimes I do that and I catch myself. It's like tabs and then I'm like, okay, don't leave that tab open. Just close that one out. So that way I can come back.

• 1:14:05Speaker 01

  I control the tabs.

• 1:14:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:14:06Speaker 01

  You know, every now and then the one of them will get out of hand and I'll have to chase it around the screen and shit.

• 1:14:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's like you get a virus.

• 1:14:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:14:12Speaker 02

  Every once in a while.

• 1:14:13Speaker 01

  But I control the tabs.

• 1:14:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's like a porn pop up and you're like, fuck.

• 1:14:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:14:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:14:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:14:18Speaker 02

  Um.

• 1:14:19Speaker 01

  But no worries talking about?

• 1:14:21Speaker 02

  We were talking about like, um, as kids, just being warriors too soon.

• 1:14:25Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:14:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:14:25Speaker 01

  I think that's it. You just find for some reason concern comes in too soon for a kid. And I don't know why, sometimes why that happens.

• 1:14:34Speaker 02

  I think, um, when you're a sensitive kid, that's part of it. Like you're sensitive. So like, but you don't know when you're a kid that you're sensitive. Everybody else tells you you're sensitive, but you don't know what somebody else's experience is and how they're perceiving the world. So you only know like, oh, that really hurt and everybody seems to not feel that. But to me it hurt really bad and now I'm being dramatic and I feel it so much. Or like.

• 1:14:57Speaker 01

  And then you worry something's wrong with you.

• 1:14:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. 100%. I always thought I was so weird and I always felt like. Yeah. Did you feel like that too?

• 1:15:05Speaker 01

  Oh, I felt like my life was kind of a nightmare when I was a kid. I'm not getting into like, I'm not into like any woe is me shit, but shit was kind of a nightmare. And so I thought that, that the outside is just reflection of me. So I must be a nightmare. Like, oh, if this, cause you, you, you, the world just centers around you. You're a kid. That's all you know. So it's like, fuck, if everything's so fucked up out here, then it must be, it's a reflection of me. I must be fucked up, you know? And that like, I think when you, for me realizing that, well, I think it, it just like, I don't know. It makes, it makes a lot of things. You're going uphill a lot. It's up, it's a battle a lot.

• 1:15:41Speaker 02

  Yeah. And, um, I think it's kind of like, you know, when you get older, your taste buds decline. I think, um, when you get older also like you get maybe less sensitive because you, you get more data and you get more used to like, um, certain experiences. So then things don't feel as intense. So you're still sensitive now, but probably less than when you were like brand new, you know?

• 1:16:00Speaker 01

  Yeah. You start to get the hang. Like I think no matter what horse you're on, you kind of get the hang of how it rides a little bit.

• 1:16:05Speaker 02

  Yeah. So I feel like a lot less stressed out now than I did as a kid, to be honest. I feel like as a kid I was like peak, like just everything was overwhelming and too much, you know?

• 1:16:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:16:17Speaker 02

  And then I felt like, how come everybody else seems to be getting along and I'm so weird and I'm trying to be like them, but I'm not, they're on to me, you know?

• 1:16:24Speaker 01

  I always felt like I was trying to have to like, I didn't always feel that. A lot of times I felt like I was having to try to posture to fit in. And I didn't really know where I fit in. And also sometimes I was kind of glad that I didn't fit into just one place though. Like I think there was bits of all of that, you know?

• 1:16:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:16:39Speaker 01

  But I do start to recently, I start to like, uh, say thank you, God for these things that happened, right? Even if some of them are painful, I can say thank you. Even if something was painful, I can say thank you, God, you know? Because, um, that's the only way, right? Like even if my, like family stuff, like I can still be very grateful to my mother for having me, you know? I can be very grateful to my father for having me like, um, instead of sometimes being generally like, I got, sometimes I get in the space where I'm generally upset. But I, I can still find a lot of specific things that I'm, have gratitude for. And that gives me like a different position to operate from, you know?

• 1:17:19Speaker 02

  For sure.

• 1:17:20Speaker 01

  I could sit there and think like, oh, I'm upset at my mom about this, or this thing happened, or my brother, or their, or my boss, whatever. But if I can find some, oh, thank them for this, right? And then that's kind of where I can hang my hat on with them, you know? And if my thoughts start to go down some of these other spaces, I can put up some boundaries and say, I'm not going down those spaces anymore. Just because it's not the best place for me to be. Does that make any sense?

• 1:17:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, 100%. And, um, it's, it comes from self-trust and open-mindedness and it's a fine line. That's what I've been thinking about too. Cause I've been like, is it that I don't trust myself or I'm open-minded? I tell myself I'm open-minded, but is that an excuse to not trust myself? Do you know what I mean? Like, like, um, sometimes you want to be open-minded and not think, oh, I know all the answers. Because most of the time you don't know all the answers. So you look for like, you, you're open to what people have to say and feedback, which is good. But then it can go too much to where you don't even listen to what you think and you're, you know, the gut feeling. Because with the excuse of, oh, I'm just being open-minded. I don't want to be like, I know everything, you know?

• 1:18:25Speaker 02

  Does that make any sense? So, so then sometimes it's like, oh, the measure is if people are liking it. But then if that's the only measure and you're not thinking like in your gut, I'm not proud of that. That's when you end up feeling like, cause I've done things where people have liked. But then I've been like, but you know, that doesn't really reflect my values very much and I don't feel good about it, even though it went viral. I don't know if I really feel good about that.

• 1:18:47Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:18:48Speaker 02

  It's almost like you sold out a little bit because you didn't listen to the voice that was like, but is that something you value, even if everyone else likes it?

• 1:18:56Speaker 01

  Yes, that's something I still value. There's things that I've put out there like, or that are out in the world that I wish sometimes, uh, I hadn't put in certain like, could be a special or this or that. But then some of it is, I won't even be fair to myself. I will hold myself to my older myself, when I taped a certain special or something, to a certain special, only have two specials. I will hold myself to when I taped a special or when I put a certain joke out there, I'll hold my current self to those, to the time at that time, you know what I'm saying?

• 1:19:24Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:19:24Speaker 01

  Like I'll hold the, the person at that time to my current like way of looking at the world. So that's when I start to realize, man, you're too hard on yourself. You're holding a past self to a current belief. That is like, if you watch somebody do that, that would be, it would be insane to watch somebody do that.

• 1:19:42Speaker 02

  So that's when it's bad to romanticize something is when it holds you trapped into it. You think romanticizing is good, but then it's just making a story that's better than the current one and that's not good.

• 1:19:52Speaker 01

  Well, sometimes romanticizing, I, I think is interesting because we're kind of bringing it back to that. Sometimes romanticizing is, uh, it's almost a savior way of like, if you really had those moments from the past or those feelings, like, sometimes maybe you're grateful that your brain romanticizes them, you know?

• 1:20:12Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:20:13Speaker 01

  Like maybe if you were trapped in a, you know, if you were like imprisoned for, like as a prisoner of war and, but there's you, the thing you remember the most is like chats with the guards on a Sunday.

• 1:20:25Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:20:26Speaker 01

  You know, it's like, um, or being able to sit there in peace and meditate or, you know, I don't know.

• 1:20:31Speaker 02

  Totally. Well, it's like, if all the stories in your head are not quite right, why not make them good? So that way you have like a good like story. Because if it's all made up anyway, why not make up something fun, you know? Instead of like making up something bad. It's all made up. Like, I think.

• 1:20:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, dude.

• 1:20:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:20:50Speaker 01

  You're so true. Yeah. I think real started, I, I think I'm, I'm just so funny. I'm like, just like in the past 10 days, like in this place where it's like, I'm realizing a little bit more of the control that, uh, I have over how to frame some of my thoughts and frame some of the ways that I'm looking at things.

• 1:21:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:21:06Speaker 01

  And how kind of off some of it has been, you know?

• 1:21:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:21:08Speaker 01

  And yeah, I guess I'm grateful that I can still kind of learn and it's definitely a slow process.

• 1:21:13Speaker 02

  I feel like sometimes.

• 1:21:14Speaker 01

  I don't, I don't know. Every, it's like, I like to be where, I don't know. I like the comfort of the old thoughts and ways, but it's just after a certain point, it doesn't, it's not serving you anymore.

• 1:21:24Speaker 02

  Yeah. I feel like it's like, um, it's like going on a diet or eating healthy, but with your brain. So like when you're like reframing things, expressing gratitude, being present, that's you eating healthy. But every once in a while you want to dip into the junk food and that's the, you know, going back and thinking about things that don't even make you feel that good. But for some reason you do it anyway, even though it's not helpful because, because why? Like it must be doing something to do that.

• 1:21:50Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:21:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:21:51Speaker 01

  Oh, well, I think for me, Christina, I real, there was a time where I was like, man, sometimes I don't want to leave these old feelings of being sorry for myself or feeling bad or thinking about the sad things. Sometimes I don't want to leave those feelings. Sometimes I would. Cause they're the only for at a certain point for years, they were the only friends that I felt like even had like somewhere deep inside of me. It was like, those are the realist things I knew was like how much pain I was in or how I felt or like this level, like a certain level of discomfort. They were like my closest friends. Does it make any sense?

• 1:22:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:22:25Speaker 01

  They were the things I felt the most. So to leave them, it almost feels like you're abandoning a big part of yourself, which for in some ways, sometimes you are, you know?

• 1:22:34Speaker 02

  And I feel like sometimes it's comfortable to be in that mindset of like, um, pain, because if you start feeling too good, that kind of sets off alarms. It's like, oh, now I have something to lose. But if I can like retreat in the safe place of like, not misery, but like pain. Then it's like, well, I was already there and I didn't expect much more, you know? And it's almost like a protective mechanism because it's scary to feel completely good.

• 1:22:59Speaker 01

  It's scary to feel like you deserve something.

• 1:23:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, that too, like you, but yeah.

• 1:23:03Speaker 01

  It's not, but that's a lie, but that was a lie that I think was stuck in me for a long time. It's scary to feel like I deserve something. Or if I feel like I deserve something, what are other people gonna think of that?

• 1:23:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, or like, oh, am I gonna jinx it if I feel, I don't know, that's kind of like.

• 1:23:16Speaker 01

  There's some karma in there.

• 1:23:17Speaker 02

  Something like that, yeah, too. It's like all these like, oh, I need to like keep putting my, making myself smaller so that way I don't lose everything almost. Or I don't like fuck it up because I'm being like, I'm giving myself too much. That's not good. Like, I don't know why we feel like that.

• 1:23:33Speaker 01

  There is a nice balance with that though, because I think the world like, you do wanna watch your ego because your ego will also trick you.

• 1:23:40Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:23:40Speaker 01

  Into thinking that, you know, you deserve, like everything's like, you know, that there's something more special about you. You know, it's okay to think that there's something special about you, but to think that there's something more like, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. Um.

• 1:23:55Speaker 02

  It would, yeah, but it wouldn't be like that. It's like a fine line between ego and like loving yourself the way you love like your sibling or your mom or somebody, you know, like. Cause like, when I see my sister, for example, I'm like, she's amazing. She's great. She could do whatever she wants. And that's not me being like, thinking that like some ego driven thing. It's just love, you know?

• 1:24:17Speaker 01

  But if you look at it towards yourself.

• 1:24:19Speaker 02

  It feels like ego when you do it towards yourself, you know, when it's like, no, but I do that for other people. Why do I feel guilty doing it for myself? It's not like from a place of superiority. It should be just love. And I think that's the struggle is loving yourself, but like keeping yourself in check, like not, it's the difference. It's the difference of being like egotistical and loving yourself, but it's a hard difference to distinguish, I guess.

• 1:24:43Speaker 01

  But I think thinking about it and seeing it a little bit and having a conversation with it, you know? Like, well, why do I act this way? Like, what, what do I get out of acting this way? Or what am I afraid of if I do behave this way? And like, but, but having those some of that self-conversation? I think it's like, that's pretty key. And some of it can be fun to have some of that conversation. Before you go, because we gotta stop in a few minutes, because they have to, they're gonna, this is a restaurant and a nightclub and here in Austin, Texas.

• 1:25:10Speaker 02

  It's cute. I've never been here.

• 1:25:11Speaker 01

  You haven't?

• 1:25:12Speaker 02

  No, but I liked it. It's a good area.

• 1:25:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's great. We're glad that you're here.

• 1:25:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, thank you.

• 1:25:18Speaker 01

  What, uh, when, when was the first time your parents came to see you perform and what did they think? Cause obviously if you got.

• 1:25:24Speaker 02

  Seen me perform. They've never come to see me perform.

• 1:25:27Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:25:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, they, uh, oh man, they were, they were not happy with me doing comedy for a long time. They're okay with it now, but they haven't seen me perform yet. And, um, a part of it was me too. I don't know if I really want my parents to see me perform, you know?

• 1:25:41Speaker 01

  Why? Do you feel like it's your own thing or something?

• 1:25:44Speaker 02

  I, I just, I feel like, um, I can, I really care a lot about hurting my parents' feelings and like, um, making disappointing them or doing. If I say something that they don't think is quite right, I don't wanna get it censored because I know it's gonna get in my head, like whatever they think. And I wanna be like, when I do comedy, I wanna be as honest and real with people and connect with them in the most genuine way I can without feeling like, oh, I can't talk about this. Because my dad's gonna get mad at me, you know what I mean?

• 1:26:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:26:12Speaker 02

  Cause then I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm thinking about what somebody else wants me to do. And then I'm not being myself and then I'm not even doing a good job at that point.

• 1:26:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, then you're wasting everybody's time.

• 1:26:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's like that's then that defeats the purpose of, uh, but that's something I'm trying to get over too. That's where I don't care about, not in a bad way. I don't care what my parents think, but more in a like, I'm my own person. And I'm gonna trust that they love me anyways, if I, you know?

• 1:26:37Speaker 01

  Like we no matter what here?

• 1:26:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:26:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's it. Wow. Yeah, I forget. I didn't have much a relationship with like my parents at that time really. So there wasn't like, I didn't have to worry about any of that. But I forget that some people have to worry about like, yeah, when your mom first sees you're doing your, some of this stuff and like how that feels.

• 1:26:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:26:54Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah, it's interesting to see like to put that in front of them.

• 1:26:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. And I had like, you know, my, they were very involved in my life and very like, you know, not passive parenting at all. They were very so, and they raised me a certain way, very strict parents, you know?

• 1:27:12Speaker 01

  That's tough.

• 1:27:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. So it was very like, so it was even hard for me to like move out comfortably without feeling like, oh, I'm doing something they don't want me to be doing. That gave me a lot of anxiety and I know it's like, sounds kind of dumb, I guess, because it's not that big of a deal, but to me it was.

• 1:27:28Speaker 01

  No, it's a huge disappointment. You're someone that loves you, disappointing your parents that created you.

• 1:27:32Speaker 02

  I don't have tattoos because I know that would hurt, that would make them feel bad if I got tattoos, you know? And I don't, I guess I don't want them that badly, but I think when your parents are really involved and are really strict and it, and it's from the best, they love me, you know? But sometimes it makes you like not feel like your own person until you leave for a while. And then you're like, what do I actually like? What do I wanna do? What do I think?

• 1:27:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:27:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't know. I don't want, I don't mean to keep going because I know you gotta go.

• 1:27:59Speaker 01

  It's okay. Yeah. Well, it's okay. The time limit just happened. We didn't know.

• 1:28:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:28:03Speaker 01

  And we've been having a nice time chatting and I think it's like, um, yeah, it's been cool. And yeah, and that's important stuff. And sometimes we talk or like, that's unique things, but that's real stuff that happens for people. It's like, yeah, I don't wanna disappoint. What am I, but am I being too this? And how do I grow? And like, how do I, you know? It's like, we're all kind of examining the walls, um, to see like, you know, what the space looks like.

• 1:28:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:28:28Speaker 01

  But yeah, I just appreciate your time and yeah, we'll have, we'll just have to do it again soon. So we can have a, we have to talk about some more of this stuff.

• 1:28:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, I love talking about, I think about this stuff all the time.

• 1:28:37Speaker 01

  Me too, dude.

• 1:28:38Speaker 02

  Oh my God, constantly. And then the more I think about it, I feel insane. Sometimes I'm like, I have nothing figured out. It's like, they think I figured something out and then I'm like, I didn't really though. There's like, there's so much more. And then it's like, is, is any of my thoughts even my own? Sometimes I just go crazy. I go down rabbit holes. Yeah. And then I'm like, I gotta stop like, cause I'm just, I need to be present. Then, um, sometimes I smoke weed so I can get present. That helps quiet down the, the, all the voices that are constantly like, just getting high and watching a movie and not trying to predict what happens. Cause that's what I'll do. I'm just like, no, just go scene by scene and don't try to figure it out. Just experience it how it's supposed to be experienced, you know?

• 1:29:17Speaker 01

  Yeah. No, experience it how it's supposed to be experienced. Yeah. I mean, I think it's what we're all trying to do with life, you know? Christina Mariani, thanks so much for hanging out. Thanks for touring with me some and doing some shows. Fun.

• 1:29:30Speaker 02

  Super fun. Thank you for having me on the road with you. I did that when I was two years in. That was an insane experience.

• 1:29:35Speaker 01

  Oh, wow. That's crazy. I forget about that.

• 1:29:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, then it went from like doing little rooms to fucking arenas and theaters. That was crazy.

• 1:29:43Speaker 01

  Did we do somewhere really cool? My brain's bad.

• 1:29:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, we did. For me, it was really cool. It was like a 8,000 person, um.

• 1:29:51Speaker 01

  Oh, that's awesome.

• 1:29:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, you tripped on the stool. I remember.

• 1:29:54Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Fahim was, oh, no, uh, and, uh.

• 1:29:58Speaker 02

  Ari.

• 1:29:58Speaker 01

  Ari was there.

• 1:29:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, Ari was there. Yeah, yeah. That was the biggest place that I've done so far, I think.

• 1:30:04Speaker 01

  Well, um, yeah, we'll have to do some shows here when I'm in town too, because I'm gonna be spending more time here because I gotta start practicing comedy again. Coming up here in Appleton, Wisconsin, Chicago, Illinois, La Jolla, uh, comedy store there, Sunnyvale, CA. At Rooster Teeth Feathers, tell them I said hello over there. That's a beautiful place. Um, at the Band Comedy Festival, Rochester, New York.

• 1:30:26Speaker 01

  I love their garbage plate, Central Pittsburgh Comedy Bar.

• 1:30:29Speaker 02

  I'm going to Europe next, um, in January too, later.

• 1:30:32Speaker 01

  And you doing shows in Europe in January?

• 1:30:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, in January, February. Yeah. And I have a podcast too. I almost forgot to say that I have a podcast. So that I, on my YouTube.

• 1:30:43Speaker 01

  And what is it called?

• 1:30:44Speaker 02

  I don't know. I think, I was thinking, um, this upcoming weekend.

• 1:30:47Speaker 01

  This upcoming.

• 1:30:48Speaker 02

  What do you think?

• 1:30:51Speaker 02

  What do you think of that name?

• 1:30:54Speaker 02

  You think that's good?

• 1:30:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think it's one of the better names.

• 1:30:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, should I call it that for real?

• 1:31:00Speaker 01

  I think it's not a bad idea.

• 1:31:02Speaker 02

  I have no idea what to call it, so.

• 1:31:04Speaker 01

  How about this? I'm gonna think of subtitles and if you haven't started by the next time we talk, uh, by the next time that we podcast.

• 1:31:09Speaker 02

  I'm gonna call it this upcoming weekend. I swear to God, I will do it. If, if there's nothing else.

• 1:31:15Speaker 01

  Well, look, don't second guess it then. Don't think too much about it. I think that's a great choice. Uh, Christina Mariani, thank you so much.

• 1:31:21Speaker 02

  Thank you, thank you.