247. “Matt”er of Fact: Coaching on Feedback and Q&A

Two new Think Fast Talk Smart AI tools put communication skills to the test in real time. Technology promises many things, but few experiments illustrate its potential more vividly than a coach in conversation with his own digital counterpart. In this episode, Matt Abrahams introduces two new AI-powered tools from the Think Fast Talk Smart Online Learning Community: Coach Matt and Chat Matt. Trained on years of Matt’s communication teachings and podcast insights, these digital counterparts offer a rare opportunity to watch human expertise meet machine-driven guidance in real time. Coach Matt begins by addressing a familiar tension: the surge of anxiety that surfaces before high-stakes speaking moments. His approach reframes that nervousness as a form of future-focused energy that can be redirected toward curiosity and clarity. He also introduces the “What–So What–Now What” framework, a simple but powerful method for giving feedback that remains constructive, direct, and grounded in shared purpose. Chat Matt then steps into the conversation, tackling the challenge of crafting a compelling proposal in just two minutes. Its responses reveal how AI can quickly synthesize communication principles while also highlighting the evolving space where human nuance and digital precision intersect. By pairing Matt Abrahams with his own digital counterparts, this episode of Think Fast Talk Smarts explores the future of communication learning—one where technology doesn’t replace the coach, but expands the possibilities for insight, clarity, and confident expression. Episode Reference Links: Think Fast Talk Smart Learning Community http://fastersmarter.io/learning Connect: Premium Signup >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart Premium https://www.fastersmarter.io/premium/Email Questions & Feedback >>> [email protected] Transcripts >>>Think Fast Talk Smart Website https://www.fastersmarter.io/247-matter-of-fact-coaching-on-feedback-and-qa/Newsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>>FasterSmarter.io http://fastersmarter.io/Think Fast Talk Smart >>>LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/company/think-fast-talk-smart/,Instagram https://www.instagram.com/thinkfasttalksmart/, YouTube https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6caGRBUYZCmgDGM2RK6mxKB9jG_ccmm3Matt Abrahams >>>LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/maabrahams/ Chapters: (00:00) - Introduction (01:09) - Introducing Coach Matt and Chat Matt (02:10) - Coach Matt: Speaking Anxiety (04:10) - Reframing Nervousness (05:10) - Constructive Feedback Framework (06:29) - Testing Communication Advice (08:03) - Chat Matt: High-Stakes Presenting (10:42) - Strengthening a Two-Minute Proposal (13:18) - Conclusion ******** Thank you to our sponsors. These partnerships support the ongoing production of the podcast, allowing us to bring it to you at no cost. Learn more about how Notion https://www.notion.com/?utm_source=podcasts&utm_medium=thinkfast can support your business at notion.com/thinkfast. https://www.notion.com/?utm_source=podcasts&utm_medium=thinkfast Join our Think Fast Talk Smart Learning Community and become the communicator you want to be. https://learning.fastersmarter.io/?redirect_from=podpage

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Matt Abrahams?

  In the moment, conflict is difficult for everyone. In our October newsletter, out now, you will learn ways to help yourself handle these challenges better. Not only do you get specific advice, we're also providing an infographic to help you remember. Find our newsletter on the Think Fast, Talk Smart LinkedIn page or at fastersmarter.io under Resources.

• 0:27Matt Abrahams?

  At some point in our lives, most of us have benefited from the advice and guidance from a coach. Today, we're going to hear from two coaches I know quite well. My name is Matt Abrahams, and I teach strategic communication at Stanford Graduate School of Business. Welcome to this special Quick Thinks episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, the podcast. This episode is very different than any we have ever done. You'll have an opportunity to learn from three versions of me, and afterward, you'll be able to do the same. But before we get to that, on December 1st, we're opening up our Think Fast, Talk Smart online learning community, designed to help people around the world sharpen communication skills in a personalized, collaborative way.

• 1:10Matt Abrahams?

  Our subscription-based learning community is open to anyone and includes incredibly useful tools and features like asynchronous learning lessons, interactive learning plans and quests, book clubs, and not one, but two AI coaching tools. Like many of you, we at Think Fast, Talk Smart have been experimenting with AI, and I'm thrilled to share the results. With the help of some very talented developers, we've co-created two AI tools. One is a digital twin created by Sounding Board that has been trained on my writings and coaching practice. We'll call him Coach Matt. You can have a vocal conversation with him, and he sounds just like me. It's like having a phone call with me to get the advice you want. The other AI tool is a text-based chatbot that has been trained on all of our Think

• 1:55Matt Abrahams?

  Fast, Talk Smart episodes. We call it ChatMatt. You just type in your queries, and ChatMatt types back answers for you. I'm super excited about these tools, and I thought it would be fun to share them with you so you can learn from them and see how useful they can be to you. So in this episode, I'm going to have a conversation with Coach Matt to get coaching on how best to interact with ChatMatt. I'll then follow Coach Matt's advice when I interact with ChatMatt. Okay. That is the longest setup I have done for any interview. Let's get started with my conversation with Coach Matt. Welcome, Coach Matt. I look forward to our conversation and learning from you.

• 2:36Speaker 01

  Hi, Matt. Welcome back. I'm excited to work with you again. What's one speaking moment you are preparing for today?

• 2:42Matt Abrahams?

  So, Coach Matt, I need your advice and guidance. I'm interviewing a text-based chatbot I helped create that has been trained on all of our Think Fast, Talk Smart, the podcast, episodes. I'm a bit nervous for my conversation because I'm not sure how it will go. How can I feel more confident?

• 2:59Speaker 01

  All right, let's think about this for a sec. That's fascinating. You're essentially interviewing your own creation. I can hear both excitement and some uncertainty in your voice. You've built something impressive, but now you're stepping into uncharted territory to see how it performs. Let me ask you this. When you think about sitting down with this chatbot, what specifically has you feeling nervous? Is it more about whether the technology will work as expected? Or are you worried about how you'll come across during the conversation? Or something else entirely? I'm curious because understanding the root of that nervousness will help us figure out the best way to get you feeling confident and ready.

• 3:34Matt Abrahams?

  So I think I'm nervous both about the technology, working or not, and I'm a little nervous to see what the results are. Are they going to be accurate? Are they going to be what I think they should be?

• 3:45Speaker 01

  Got it. I hear you. So you've got this dual anxiety, the tech performance piece, and then the bigger question of whether your creation actually reflects what you hoped it would. Here's what I'm thinking. You're dealing with what I call future-focused anxiety. You're worried about outcomes you can't control right now. The technology might hiccup. The responses might surprise you. And that's actually pretty normal when you're testing something new. Let me offer you a reframe that might help. Instead of thinking of this as a high-stakes test where everything needs to be perfect, what if you approached it more like a curious conversation with a colleague? You're not evaluating whether you're a good creator. You're simply exploring what this tool can do. Before we dive into some specific techniques, tell me, when you imagine the conversation going well, what does that look like to you?

• 4:30Speaker 01

  What would make you feel like, yes, this worked?

• 4:32Matt Abrahams?

  I love the idea of the reframe. I think success for me is that I get results that are actionable, that make sense, and I think would benefit everybody.

• 4:41Speaker 01

  Hmm, okay, I love that. You're focused on value and impact. That's exactly where your energy should be. That tells me you're approaching this from the right place. Here's a quick confidence tool I want you to try. Since you're worried about both the tech and the results, let's use what I call productive preparation. Instead of trying to predict what might go wrong, spend a few minutes thinking through what you'll do if things go really well. Picture yourself getting those actionable, sensible results that could help everyone. This does two things. It gets your brain focused on success rather than failure, and it actually prepares you to make the most of good moments when they happen. Also, remember, you know this content better than almost anyone. You've been living and breathing, think fast, talk smart, trust that knowledge. The chatbot learned from you, so in many ways, you're the expert in the room.

• 5:26Speaker 01

  What do you think? Does that reframe feel helpful, or is there another angle of this nervousness we should tackle?

• 5:33Matt Abrahams?

  That reframe is really helpful. Focus on what can happen that's positive and really put my energy there. Let's say ChatMath does not perform as well as I wanted it to. I'll have to give constructive feedback to the people who developed it. I want to give direct feedback, but I don't want to offend them or hurt their feelings. How should I approach that situation if it comes up?

• 5:51Speaker 01

  You're being really thoughtful about this, and that care for the developer's feelings actually shows great leadership. Let me give you a structure that can help you be both direct and respectful. It's called what-so-what-now-what. And it's perfect for giving constructive feedback without creating defensiveness. Here's how it works. Start with the what. Describe what you observed without judgment. Then the so-what. Explain why it matters to the bigger picture. Finally, now what? Suggest a path forward that feels collaborative. For example, what? I noticed the chatbot struggled with some nuanced questions about handling anxiety. So what? Since that's such a core part of our content, we want to make sure people get reliable guidance there. Now what?

• 6:34Speaker 01

  I'd love to work with you to identify specific episodes or concepts we could emphasize in the training. See how that lands as helpful rather than critical? You're focusing on the work, not the people, and you're positioning yourself as a partner and making it better. Want to try crafting one example using this structure?

• 6:51Matt Abrahams?

  You know, Coach Matt, that's a great structure, one I really like, and I love your advice. And I'm going to take care to practice in a little bit. But I'd really like your advice on one more thing. When I sit down with the chatbot to type in some questions, can you give me a suggestion for a good question that I could ask to test to see if it really does know its communication advice?

• 7:12Speaker 01

  Here's what I'd suggest. Ask it something that requires it to synthesize multiple concepts and apply them to a real scenario. Something like, "I'm about to give a presentation to senior executives who seem skeptical about my proposal. I'm feeling anxious and I only have two minutes to make my case. What's your advice?" This question is perfect because it tests whether the chatbot can recognize the anxiety component and offer practical tools. A good response should touch on managing nerves using a clear structure like problem, solution, benefit, and maybe even audience-focused language. If it just gives generic advice or misses those layers, you'll know there's work to do. What do you think? Does that feel like it would give you a good read on whether ChatMatt really gets it?

• 7:55Matt Abrahams?

  I think that would be great. I think it would give me a very good read, and I'm very impressed by your detailed answer. Thanks so much for that. And do me a favor. Give me a goodbye that I can share with other people. How would you close out our conversation?

• 8:09Speaker 01

  I'm going to create a card for you with that goodbye so you can easily share it. There you go. And thank you for catching that I used "what so what now what" in my feedback. That's exactly the kind of awareness that's going to serve you well. You're more ready than you think you are. Good luck with ChatMatt.

• 8:25Matt Abrahams?

  Thank you very much. And that goodbye message is fantastic. We've now heard helpful advice from Coach Matt. Let's switch to the keyboard and have a typed conversation with Chatmat. Since many of you are listening on the go and not watching, we've used a text-to-voice tool so you can hear what Chatmat typed back to us. We'll be right back to finish our conversation. But first, we're going to take a quick break for a word from our sponsors. Their support covers the cost of production, so we can bring you this show for free.

• 8:58Matt Abrahams?

  This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. The best communicators don't just get their message across, they make it easy for people to know what to do next. Your website can do the same thing. With Squarespace, you can build a polished online presence that clearly shows people who you are, what you offer, and how they can work with you. If you offer coaching, consulting, classes, or other services, Squarespace lets you showcase those offerings, take payments, and use Acuity Scheduling so people can book time with you directly. And with built-in analytics, you can see how people are finding and engaging with your site, helping you make smarter decisions about where to focus. So your online presence doesn't just look professional, it helps people take action.

• 9:40Matt Abrahams?

  Go to Squarespace.com/thinkfast for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code THINKFAST to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hi, Matt here. Sometimes the biggest obstacle to getting something done isn't the idea, the plan, or even the budget. It's finding the right person to help you execute. And the longer that takes, the easier it is to lose momentum. That's where today's sponsor, Upwork, can help. Upwork gives businesses fast access to highly skilled freelance professionals across areas like marketing, design, software development, AI, and business operations. And with Business Plus, you can access the top 1% of talent on Upwork.

• 10:24Matt Abrahams?

  AI-powered shortlisting gives you a curated list of freelancers matched to your goals in under six hours. So you can spend less time searching for the right person and more time actually moving the work forward. Visit Upwork.com right now and post your job for free. That's Upwork.com to connect with top talent ready to help your business grow. That's U.P.W.O.R.K. dot com. Upwork.com.

• 10:51Matt Abrahams?

  Chatmat, I'm about to give a presentation to senior executives who seem skeptical about my proposal. I'm feeling anxious and I only have two minutes to make my case. What's your advice?

• 11:02Speaker 02

  First, I want to thank you for sharing a really important and common concern: feeling anxious before addressing a skeptical, high-stakes audience. Let's jump right in. So if you only have two minutes, my advice is to set very clear boundaries for yourself and your message from the start. Think about what your bottom line is. What's the one thing you want those senior executives to remember or walk away with? You don't have time to tell them everything. Instead, focus on delivering your high-level overview as succinctly and clearly as possible. Now, let's talk anxiety. What I'm really hearing you say is that the stakes feel high, and that's totally normal. In fact, upwards of 85% of people feel nervous in these sorts of situations. Here's what I recommend.

• 11:46Speaker 02

  Before you present, do something to help you be more present-oriented. For example, take a short walk, listen to a favorite song, or, even more practically if you're pressed for time, take a few deep breaths. These techniques help manage your symptoms of anxiety, allowing you to focus on your message rather than your nerves. When you get up there, start by setting expectations. For example, you might say, "I'm really excited to share my proposal. I'd like to take just two minutes to outline the key points, and then I welcome your questions." This approach signals confidence, controls the flow, and sets respectful boundaries with

• 12:30Speaker 02

  a skeptical audience. And finally, remember, you don't need to answer every question in advance, but you should anticipate the toughest ones. Take some time to reflect on the questions you're likely to get and practice your answers. This preparation not only builds confidence, but also ensures you're ready if the conversation shifts quickly. So, here's my summary. Clarify your main point, set clear boundaries, use presence techniques to tame anxiety, and anticipate questions. You've got this, and I'm excited for you to make your case.

• 13:08Matt Abrahams?

  Thanks Chatmat. Your advice about my approach is very good. But I don't feel like you gave me insight into how to craft my proposal in a short amount of time. Without a strong proposal, I'll be in trouble. Can you please provide a bit more advice on how I can be more clear and compelling in my two minutes I have for my proposal?

• 13:28Speaker 02

  Thank you for that question. And I really appreciate your honesty and drive to get this right under time pressure. So let's jump right in. When you've only got a couple of minutes to craft and deliver your proposal, clarity and focus are absolutely essential. Here's what I'd recommend, based on my experience and the insights from our guests. First, start by clearly understanding the mission or priorities of the person or group you're making the request to. That's your North Star. If you're not speaking directly to what matters to them, it's game over before you begin. Second, in your two minutes, you'll want to map out these core ingredients. State the big problem.

• 14:10Speaker 02

  Briefly outline the larger problem or opportunity you want to be part of solving. This helps your audience see the significance right away. Narrow your focus. Zero in on the specific piece of that problem you, and only you, are uniquely positioned to address. Show the opportunity. Clearly convey that this sub-problem hasn't been solved yet, but you have the insight or approach to tackle it. Present concrete actions. Boil your approach down to three to five crisp action steps. You don't need all the details, just the highlights that demonstrate you've thought this through. Paint the future state. End with a quick summary of what things will look like once you succeed.

• 14:54Speaker 02

  What's the positive future you're proposing? And remember, because attention is our most precious commodity, parachuting in with an engaging start, a provocative question, a vivid statistic, or a quick story can make all the difference in those opening seconds. So, if I were to summarize for you, focus on concision, relevance, and precision. Think, what's their mission? What's the big problem? How do I and my approach uniquely fit? What will I do? What does success look like? Hit those beats and you'll make your two minutes count. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to clarify, and I wish you the best of luck with your proposal.

• 15:39Speaker 02

  Let's get you set up for that future state of success.

• 15:43Matt Abrahams?

  A big thank you to both Coach Matt and Chat Matt. Every time I work with either of them, I'm amazed at what is possible with AI technology. I hope you learned something from our coaching session about giving feedback and asking insightful questions. Now it's your turn. I invite you to try out Coach Matt and Chat Matt on our Think Fast, Talk Smart learning community. You can sign up at fastersmarter.io/learning.

• 16:21Matt Abrahams?

  Before we wrap up, I just want to say thank you for listening. It really means a lot to hear how people all over the world are using these ideas in their own lives. It inspires me and the whole team that brings you this show. If you want more episodes and resources, feel free to follow, subscribe, and explore past conversations. We're grateful for your support of Think Fast, Talk Smart.