I Have Some Thoughts | Tuskegee's Dress Code, Blade is Cancelled, & Brittney Griner's Divorce

Welcome back to our minisode series, "I Have Some Thoughts." These short episodes are designed to contextualize the pop culture moments we're currently paying attention to through a mental health lens. Pop culture isn't just fun to chat about, it can reveal important information about how we relate, cope, and understand ourselves. Join us each Friday to hear Dr. Joy share her thoughts about the happenings of the week. This week, we're chatting about Tuskegee's dress code, Marvel shelving the new Blade movie, and Brittney Griner's recent divorce filing. Stay Connected​https://click.convertkit-mail.com/27uv20p9mpioh8edr34s8ug63w344hg/58hvh8ug08p6wzc6/dGhlcmFweWZvcmJsYWNrZ2lybHMuY29tb3JibGFja2dpcmxzLmNvbS9wYXRyZW9u Wanna chat more about the pop culture hot topics of the week? Join us inside our Patreon https://community.therapyforblackgirls.com/ community. Is there a topic you'd like covered on the podcast? Submit it at therapyforblackgirls.com/mailbox https://www.therapyforblackgirls.com/mailbox. If you're looking for a therapist in your area, check out the directory at https://www.therapyforblackgirls.com/directory. Make sure to follow us on social media: Instagram: @therapyforblackgirls https://www.instagram.com/therapyforblackgirls Threads: @therapyforblackgirls https://www.threads.com/therapyforblackgirls Our Production Team Executive Producers: Dennison Bradford & Gabrielle Collins Director of Podcast & Digital Content: Ellice Ellis Producer: Ndeye Thioubou Production Assistant: Bria Mosley See omnystudio.com/listener https://omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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  A rare disease diagnosis can change your life, but it doesn't have to define your future. In season seven of Untold Stories, Life with a Severe Autoimmune Condition, host Martine Hackett continues the conversation with people living with MG, CIDP, and the broader rare disease community, exploring what comes after diagnosis through stories of hope, progress, and connection. Produced by Ruby Studio in partnership with Argenx. Listen on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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• 1:24Speaker 01

  Hey y'all, welcome back to I Have Some Thoughts, our Therapy for Black Girls mini-soled series, where we talk about all things pop culture, but of course, from a mental health lens. And I am joined today again with Bria. Hey, Bria.

• 1:37Speaker 00

  Hey, Dr. Joy. I'm super excited for the topics that we have this week. We have a lot of fun stuff to discuss. So first, let's get into Tuskegee University's dress code change. So Tuskegee University in Alabama rolled out a new dress code that people have a lot of thoughts on. Last week, President Mark Brown announced that bonnets, durags, bedroom shoes, those were banned from classrooms and the cafeterias. In the statement, he shares that the policy's goal isn't to restrict anyone from enjoying the Tuskegee experience, but to prepare students for the workforce that they will encounter upon leaving Tuskegee. I think it's kind of started this broader conversation. I think a lot of people have a lot of opinions on whether this was the right call,

• 2:22Speaker 00

  whether it was the wrong call, whether it's suppressing expression, all these different things. But I think the broader theme is can professionalism and cultural expression really coexist? So in your opinion, what is the difference between maybe preparing someone for the realities of the world and asking them to change who they are to be accepted?

• 2:44Speaker 01

  So this is such a great topic, Bria, and I definitely have seen it all over the timelines, right? And my understanding is that this isn't necessarily like a complete change. Like maybe they are kind of maybe being stricter about it, but it sounds like there has been a dress code in place for lots of years. And I've even seen some alum kind of come out and talk about like, yeah, this kind of was always the thing, right? And I am no stranger to dress codes. So many of you know, I graduated from Xavier University of Louisiana, which is the only predominantly Black Catholic university. And so we had nuns like live on the yard. I think some of them are still there. And so they were very strict about like our skirt length and like short length and like all of these things, right? And so I'm definitely no stranger to dress codes, even at the collegiate level.

• 3:29Speaker 01

  I do think there is some place to this, right? Like the idea that, you know, there are certain things that we wear in certain situations. Like I think that that is expected, right? Like you dress differently when you're going to the club versus when you are going to a job interview, right? And so I don't think that there's anything wrong with like wanting to reinforce that on a college campus and like making sure that people understand what kinds of things are appropriate to wear, when, and where. But I do think, you know, you have to be careful. And of course, this kind of bleeds into a larger conversation around respectability politics, right? Like if we dress certain ways, then you know, maybe people are less likely to discriminate against us, or maybe we are better primed to have better service.

• 4:13Speaker 01

  And we know largely that is not true, right? Like people can dress all kinds of ways, and if people are going to be racist or discriminatory, it's going to happen. But I do think, again, like I said, that there is some merit to right time, right place. Now, sometimes you have eight o'clock AM classes and you don't want to get dolled up and like do too much, right? And I can definitely see that, that as the student is kind of talking about like, okay, I don't want to have to kind of be in full glam. But I think that there is lots of gray area in between kind of like rolling out of bed, just going straight to class. And I'm not sure that this was the case, right? Like, because especially at HBCU campuses, at least in my experience, it was always a fashion show, right? Like people weren't putting on their kind of...

• 4:56Speaker 00

  Really stepping out, yeah.

• 4:57Speaker 01

  Exactly, exactly. Now, it has been quite some years since I have been, you know, a student on a campus. And so maybe things have changed. But I think that there are lots of ways that you can still be casual and dressed down without necessarily rolling out of bed.

• 5:12Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 5:12Speaker 01

  Again, I don't know that that's the case. I don't think kids are necessarily kind of just going straight out of bed in their pajamas. But if you're in an emergency, right, like you're rushing to a final, I could definitely see something like that happening. But I do think that there are lots of ways to be casual and not like completely dolled up in your business professional kind of thing and still go to class in ways that meet the dress code standards.

• 5:35Speaker 00

  No, definitely. And I'm coming to it from like another side of the spectrum, because I actually went to Ohio State for undergrad, which is like as PWI, as PWI can get. And it's so interesting kind of seeing these conversations, but also from my experience, kind of seeing a lot of white people just roll out of bed and like just come to class however, whether it was sweatpants or pajamas, like the goal was to just be there. And so it's very interesting that like the situations are just so different.

• 6:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, now, but you do bring up a great point, right? Like if it is either like put on for real clothes or miss class, definitely don't miss class, right? Like that definitely is the priority for people to be there regardless, as long as you are looking. Everything is covered, so to speak.

• 6:20Speaker 00

  Yep, exactly.

• 6:21Speaker 01

  It's completely fine.

• 6:22Speaker 00

  Right. So from your perspective, what impact can respectability politics and maybe constantly monitoring your appearance have on your sense of authenticity or self-expression?

• 6:35Speaker 01

  I feel like we kind of talked about this, maybe even related to a topic from last week, just like the enormous amount of mental tax and toll it plays on you to be constantly hyper vigilant around like appearance and kind of constantly kind of scanning an environment like, is this okay? And am I doing enough? Am I doing too much, right? Like, and I think, you know, as Black people, we are often put in those kinds of situations, right? And so especially for young people who are just kind of coming into their own, you know, you don't necessarily want to introduce that added level of anxiety because there's so much time later in life to deal with that. And I don't think it is often invisible. It is invisible kind of tax.

• 7:16Speaker 01

  And so people don't always realize how exhausting it is to kind of constantly be thinking about how you're perceived and all of those kinds of things. And so there is a tax, even if it isn't always visible to us. And I think that that is the largest mental health impact is that it really diminishes our bandwidth for other things when we are constantly kind of scanning and paying attention to these ideas of how I'm being perceived. And, you know, do I look respectable? Am I representing the Black culture well? You know, like that, it does take a toll on you after a while.

• 7:46Speaker 00

  Yeah, kind of like this feeling that you are the representation of what Black people should look like, even though that shouldn't particularly fall on anyone's shoulders. So...

• 7:55Speaker 01

  Right.

• 7:56Speaker 00

  Thank you for sharing that. Moving on to our next topic, we're going to talk about how Marvel has shelved Blade and Herschel Ali has spoken on it. So I think this news actually came out a couple of months ago about Marvel not moving forward with Blade. Herschel Ali, who was supposed to star in the movie as Blade, has finally spoken out on it as well. He shared that the project stalled upon running into multiple delays and creative differences. But he also strongly believes that with the billions of dollars that Marvel has, if they wanted to make it happen, they would have made it happen. So I think that it really feels like kind of another blow when it comes to representation in the media space.

• 8:40Speaker 00

  We only have but so many, whether it's like Black superheroes or Black characters in TV and film already, and brings up this larger conversation of what happens when representation just feels very conditional and not something that... The studios, the media companies are consistently working torn. So why can't these setbacks feel especially painful after we've started to believe that meaningful change is happening and then it just gets taken away?

• 9:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, and this feels especially unfortunate because it feels like we were just giving Marvel their flowers last week because we found out around about Black Panther three, right? And so this feels like the, the worst timing. And I do think it speaks to the larger conversations kind of happening in Hollywood on the entertainment spectrum, just around the lack of investment into black and brown projects, right? You kind of see actors and actresses and producers talking about these kinds of things. And, you know, we've had conversations on the podcast around, I think you, me and Tuscany was the latest example of this, right? Of, oh, we gotta see how well this does before we say we're going to, you know, kind of green light the next show or project that may be similar. And I just feel like I'm very tired of it.

• 9:54Speaker 01

  I know kind of black people generally are really tired of this idea that we do not support these projects because we undoubtedly come out in droves for stories that feature people from our community and our culture, right? Like, how many millions and billions, maybe even of dollars did Black Panther one and two make, right? Like, people, we had this whole dress code that we were, you know, wearing all white and doing all these things, like, we make it a real big moment. And so how much more do we have to do to show companies and media houses that these are stories that we are invested in seeing and promoting and celebrating? I think we've done our part, right?

• 10:35Speaker 01

  Like, I think the larger conversation is, why can't people who don't look like us also celebrate these films, right? Like, now, of course, some people do, but I think what we see is that they don't come out in droves in the same ways to support superheroes and main actors and actresses that don't look like them, right? It's as if they can't connect to stories that don't feature like a white heroine or superhero when for years we've been asked to do that, right? Like, we've been asked to suspend this belief and just kind of see ourselves in the story regardless of who the main character is. And so I think that that is really something for other people to contend with, but it doesn't feel good, right? It doesn't feel good.

• 11:15Speaker 01

  It doesn't, I think, boost morale, or I think it also engenders like this sense of hopelessness, especially for people in the industry of the story that I'm working really hard on and is it ever going to see the light of day? So it just doesn't feel good. And I think especially right now, when we are looking for so many things to kind of celebrate and make us feel good when there's so many other things that are awful, this just feels like another blow.

• 11:40Speaker 00

  No, for sure. And I think even, it's interesting because for a lot of, you know, white projects, they have this majority audience that's coming out, plus a lot of the minorities that are coming out to support these things as well. Whereas a lot of the, you know, black artists, black filmmakers, they're able to capture the core audience, but a lot of these studios are looking for what's going to be bigger. Like, you know, we're spending money on this, we need as many eyes on it as possible, and it's just not a super fair comparison. So from the viewpoint of a viewer, and then also the viewpoint of, you know, a creator, someone who's, you know, hoping to have their TV series or their film hit the big screen,

• 12:23Speaker 00

  how can we maintain hope and continue advocating for representation even when, you know, we have these droves of lots of progress, it seems like we're taking 10 steps back?

• 12:34Speaker 01

  Yeah. So I've been really excited to see more the indie scene kind of continuing to develop, right? So people will put a trailer out like on Instagram or TikTok or whatever, and then I love seeing the comments fill up like, where's the link? We want to support this. We gotta see how this story ends, right? And I think that that is where we're going to have to lean into, right? Of course, we can continue to advocate and continue to lobby for major studios like a Marvel to kind of see our stories and invest in them, and I don't think we should stop that. But I don't want people's stories not to be told and not to be shown because we can't get the major dollars, right? So if you can't make the Marvel version of what you want to make, is there a Kickstarter

• 13:16Speaker 01

  version of the, the show or the project that can kind of just get your feet on the ground and allow at least a part of the story to be told? I think that that is where we're really going to have to lean into, because these stories are important and they deserve to be made, but also there is an active community of people who I think want to support these kinds of things, right? And get really excited. We like entertainment, right? Like, we want to see ourselves on the screen, whether it's large or small. And so I think really leaning into the community support and kind of the independent route is at least a step until we maybe can see some progress in, in larger places.

• 13:53Speaker 00

  Definitely. And as you're talking, I actually thought of one other thing that I think it's so cool how the media industry is always just evolving and doing new things. Were you familiar with, it was Hooray Studios did like a TikTok short micro drama? Those are becoming just so popular, like even if you're like scrolling TikTok, you might get an ad for like this micro drama and the story that you're kind of following. And so I think it gives us an opportunity to kind of step into these spaces while people are kind of figuring it out and telling those stories from different perspectives, because, you know, to post a TikTok series, it takes time, it takes effort, it takes creativity, but like, as far as the resources that you need, you don't need as much as you maybe would to shoot something Marvel level, so.

• 14:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. And it's a great way, you know, to kind of get your product out there, right? Like, it shows proof of concept, you know? So that Hooray micro drama did really, really well, right? And I mean, of course, Issa already has major backing, but I mean, there's no reason why somebody else who is in the same space couldn't do a version of that for themselves. And then maybe you get on the radar of somebody who has deeper pockets, right?

• 15:01Speaker 00

  For sure.

• 15:02Speaker 01

  But you know, Bria, the funny thing about when I saw, and I don't know if Issa's, the Hooray Studio was the first micro drama, but it reminds me of Quibi. Do you remember Quibi?

• 15:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, and so it kind of feels like that is what Quibi's kind of premise was all along. And so it feels like maybe they were just a little too early, because I wonder if we're going to see kind of an explosion of these micro dramas and people really leaning into that format.

• 15:27Speaker 00

  Yeah, I saw Bravo was doing something. I haven't looked into it, but like some type of micro drama, reality TV. I was like, okay, well, we'll see how that goes. So it seems like, yeah, you're right, they might've just been a little too early because it always comes back around.

• 15:43Speaker 01

  More from our conversation after the break. A rare disease diagnosis can change your life, but it doesn't have to define your future. Tune in for season seven of Untold Stories: Life with a Severe Autoimmune Condition, a Ruby Studio production in partnership with Argenx. Hosted by public health and policy expert Dr. Martine Hackett, Untold Stories: Life with a Severe Autoimmune Condition pushes the conversation within the rare disease community forward. Featuring guests living with MG, CIDP, myositis, SMA, and other rare autoimmune conditions, each episode explores hope, progress, and connection. How does research create new opportunities? How do shared experiences help light the way forward? How do we best show up for each other?

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• 17:39Speaker 00

  All right. And for our last topic, we're gonna enter WNBA world again. WNBA star Brittney Griner has filed for divorce from her wife Sherrell Griner after eight years of marriage. Now, we don't have any details outside of the filing stating that the marriage was irretrievably broken. But as many of the headlines started rolling out, I started to see a common theme in the framing of the headlines. That would be your thoughts on. A lot of the headlines said some version of Brittney Griner has filed for divorce from Sherrell despite Sherrell fighting for Brittany's freedom while she was in the Russian prison. Now, for the listeners, if you need a reminder, back in

• 18:20Speaker 00

  February 2022, Brittney Griner was detained in Moscow after Russian officials found vape cartridges in her carry-on luggage. She was arrested, charged with smuggling narcotic drugs, and received a nine-year sentence. Sherrell was extremely vocal during the 10 months that Brittany spent in Russia fighting for her release. But I think the thing that I kind of struggle with the framing is, do we owe someone a relationship because of what they've done for us? So I love, you know, your initial thoughts on the framing and maybe your thoughts on, you know, in what ways we can feel indebted to someone and how it makes it a little harder to assess whether a relationship is healthy or not.

• 19:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, I agree with you, Bria. Like, the framing of that, I think, is incredibly unhealthy and not fair, I think, in a lot of ways, right? If you are in a committed relationship, that is the whole idea, is that you are supposed to help and support one another. But that doesn't mean that you hold that over their head, right? And so, of course, she advocated for her wife to be released because it's her wife, right? And so, that is kind of what you're supposed to do in a committed, healthy relationship. And so, you know, she did, I think, what any of us would do, is something similar we're having to a partner. But that doesn't mean that now Brittany is, like, obligated to stay with her, right? Like, I think we get into very dangerous territory, especially as

• 19:47Speaker 01

  women, right? And, you know, many women, especially in a heterosexual relationship, this idea that you owe somebody something. We know that that can lead to lots of different kinds of complications and an abuse kind of situation. This idea that I can't leave now because they did so much for me, right? Like, that is really messing with some dangerous, I think, and imbalance power dynamics in a relationship, which are never healthy, right? Like, that is not a good setup. And so I think this does speak to larger conversations around these expectations and maybe unspoken rules that people feel like they have in relationships. And so, you know, I don't think, and that's kind of what the purpose of this podcast is anyways, right? Like, not to say whether one person is wrong or

• 20:29Speaker 01

  one person is right, but how can we think about our own relationships and this idea that we owe somebody something because they did something nice for us, right? So I completely agree with you. I think the framing of that, of course, is designed to make you click and see what is happening. But I think when we kind of peel back the layers, we can recognize that that is not a fair framing, nor do we want to reinforce the idea that somebody is obligated to stay in a relationship just because sacrifices have been made on their behalf.

• 21:00Speaker 00

  Yep, absolutely. And so, how can the listeners, if they maybe feel like they've run into something like this, how can you assess if this relationship is healthy and I'm staying in this healthy relationship? Or am I here just because I maybe feel like I owe someone something, or, you know, they've already done so much for me, or we've been here so long already, then we might as well just not walk away?

• 21:23Speaker 01

  Yeah. And that is not an uncommon sentiment, right? Like, this idea that I've been with them for 25 years, like, is this really what I want to walk away from? Is the, you know, is the grass greener on the other side? And those are, I think, valid questions to ask yourself. So I think with the support of other people, maybe that is a trusted friend group, maybe that is a pastor, maybe that is a mental health professional. Like, I think if you are questioning those kinds of things, it's good to give voice to those kinds of things with somebody who can help you peel back the layers on what you're considering. Now, I do think it's important to be mindful of your audience, right? So I wouldn't necessarily go to your sister-in-law and have this conversation because she's not likely going to be unbiased.

• 22:04Speaker 00

  Right.

• 22:05Speaker 01

  But going to somebody who can be neutral and who can kind of hear where you're coming from, I think, can be really helpful. But I think journaling can also be great for something like this. And again, I think making sure that this is not a place where somebody's gonna stumble upon it, right? Like, you don't necessarily want your partner to kind of read this unless, until you're ready to maybe share some of these things. But just getting your thoughts out, right? Like, what actually am I feeling in this moment? And am I feeling like I am only in this relationship because maybe they paid for me to go to school, or because the kids are not old enough, right? Like, I think there are all kinds of stories that we create for ourselves, when ultimately, the goal is for everybody to be happy and feeling like they are seen and valued in the relationship.

• 22:47Speaker 01

  And if you are not feeling that way, it is not enough. History is not enough to keep you in a situation if you are not feeling valued, if you feel like you're being abused in any way. Like, there are lots of different opportunities and options for you to explore, I think, especially with a supportive person or in the confines of your journal.

• 23:06Speaker 00

  Yes, absolutely. Totally agree. Well, thank you, Dr. Joy. This was great. And that was our last topic for the week.

• 23:13Speaker 01

  Perfect. Thank you so much, Bria. Excellent topics, as always. And if there are things happening in your circles, things that are running down your timeline or being promoted by your algorithm, that you want us to weigh in on, please send those topics to us. You can do that at therapyforblackgirls.com/mailbox. And until next time, take good care of yourself.

• 23:38Speaker 01

  A rare disease diagnosis can change your life, but it doesn't have to define your future. In season seven of Untold Stories: Life with a Severe Autoimmune Condition, host Martine Hackett continues the conversation with people living with MG, CIDP, and the broader rare disease community, exploring what comes after diagnosis through stories of hope, progress, and connection. Produced by Ruby Studio in partnership with Argenx. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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  My fresh detector.

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  Uh, your what?

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  There it is.

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  What is it detecting?

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  Fresh produce, fresh meat.

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  Okay, what happens if it detects something really fresh?

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  Apparently, we celebrate. At Food Lion, you can count on fresh food at fresher prices when your fresh detector is going off. Head to your local Food Lion or shop at foodlion.com. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed Human.