I Have Some Thoughts Minisode | Chris Rock, Zendaya, & Druski

Welcome back to our minisode series, "I Have Some Thoughts." These short episodes are designed to contextualize the pop culture moments we're currently paying attention to through a mental health lens. Pop culture isn't just fun to chat about, it can reveal important information about how we relate, cope, and understand ourselves. Join us each Friday to hear Dr. Joy share her thoughts about the happenings of the week. This week, we're chatting about Chris Rock's regret over not paying for a friend's lawyer, Zendaya not standing to greet the First Lady of France, and Druski's new skit about child stars. Stay Connected​https://click.convertkit-mail.com/27uv20p9mpioh8edr34s8ug63w344hg/58hvh8ug08p6wzc6/dGhlcmFweWZvcmJsYWNrZ2lybHMuY29tb3JibGFja2dpcmxzLmNvbS9wYXRyZW9u Wanna chat more about the pop culture hot topics of the week? Join us inside our Patreon https://community.therapyforblackgirls.com/ community. Is there a topic you'd like covered on the podcast? Submit it at therapyforblackgirls.com/mailbox https://www.therapyforblackgirls.com/mailbox. If you're looking for a therapist in your area, check out the directory at https://www.therapyforblackgirls.com/directory. Make sure to follow us on social media: Instagram: @therapyforblackgirls https://www.instagram.com/therapyforblackgirls Threads: @therapyforblackgirls https://www.threads.com/therapyforblackgirls Our Production Team Executive Producers: Dennison Bradford & Gabrielle Collins Director of Podcast & Digital Content: Ellice Ellis Producer: Ndeye Thioubou Production Assistant: Bria Mosley See omnystudio.com/listener https://omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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  A rare disease diagnosis can change your life, but it doesn't have to define your future. In season seven of Untold Stories, Life with a Severe Autoimmune Condition, host Martine Hackett continues the conversation with people living with MG, CIDP, and the broader rare disease community, exploring what comes after diagnosis through stories of hope, progress, and connection. Produced by Ruby Studio in partnership with Argenx. Listen on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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  Host Nora McInerney is back for an all-new season of The Head Start, embracing the journey brought to you in partnership with AbbVie. As Nora continues her conversations with people living with chronic migraine, she's also reconnecting with familiar voices from seasons past to see where they are now on their journey. Of course, she'll be joined by headache specialist Dr. Christopher Rhine, who offers insight into these challenges and the questions many of us have. So don't miss season four of The Head Start: Embracing the Journey. Listen on the iHeart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

• 2:23Speaker 01

  Hey, y'all. Welcome back to our next episode of I Have Some Thoughts, our weekly therapy for Black girls mini-soaps series, where we're talking about all things pop culture, but of course, from a mental health lens. And Bria is back with me today. Hey, Bria.

• 2:36Speaker 05

  Hey, Dr. Joy. Hey, everyone. Very excited for our topics this week, a lot for us to dig into. So let's actually start with Chris Rock. So Chris Rock recently revealed that he regrets not paying for a lawyer for Roger Logan. Now, Roger Logan was the brother of one of his best friends, who spent 19 years in prison for a murder that he did not commit. Rock says that Logan's brother repeatedly asked him to help to cover legal fees, but Chris had a personal rule against paying for lawyers because the cost could be open-ended. Ultimately, Roger Logan did receive nearly a $7 million settlement from New York City and the state for his wrongful conviction.

• 3:21Speaker 05

  But Chris Rock acknowledged that he had the means to help and didn't, and that decision really troubles him sometimes. Now, the conversation kind of felt very reminiscent of the conversation that we had last week about Savannah James and her best friend, April. And, you know, just because you have the means, do you have that obligation to help the people around you? But this situation really stuck out to me a little bit more because this is someone's life for like 19 years. And I think last week it was first-class seats versus coach. And I think that that's a little more vain than, you know, something of this severity. So first, I guess, before we jump into the questions, when you hear this situation,

• 4:07Speaker 05

  I know we kind of had a similar conversation last week. How do you kind of measure those against each other? And how does that kind of change from your perspective?

• 4:17Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. Yeah, I agree with you. Like, the severity and the weight of this situation is definitely different than, like, am I gonna splurge to have my best friend in first class with me, right? It definitely takes on, I think, a different weight, though I think the sense of entitlement is the same, right? Like, I still think you are not entitled or obligated to do any of these things. But I think I would likely be more in favor of, like, helping somebody's legal cause than, oh, let's just kind of both fly first class just because I have it, right? Like, I might do that, too, but I think it would definitely weigh on me more to not offer money for somebody's legal support, especially if I had it to share.

• 4:58Speaker 05

  Yeah, and I think more broadly, how do we process the realization? Because for a lot of us, we don't have Chris Rock money to, like, cover legal fees or things like that. But there are maybe situations where we could have impacted someone or, like, even contributed to a moment that maybe changed someone's life or changed how someone saw themselves. How do we process that realization that we kind of had an impact in that person's trajectory in some way or another?

• 5:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, it kind of feels like that is what life is, right? Like, a series of decisions that have consequences, right? And I think the thing here that struck me as you were reading out, like, the topic, is that he had it to share, but that he, like, had it in his mind that, like, it was a personal choice of his, right? Because he felt like an unending, you know, like, okay, how high are these legal costs gonna be? And I think that that's fair, right? But I think you could say, like, okay, well, here's my limit, right? Like, I think any of us, when we're making decisions about, like, loaning money or loaning resources or whatever, like, it can't be to where you are sacrificing yourself and, like, putting yourself in a bad situation. But if you say, like, hey, you know, I can't fully cover the cost of a lawyer,

• 6:12Speaker 01

  but I have a million to share with you, right? Like, I think you can say, this is what I can do, which allows you to kind of steal support, but also, like, have some boundaries and limits. And I think that that's a decision each of us can make about what we can offer to other people.

• 6:27Speaker 05

  Yeah, absolutely. I totally agree. And I think that, you know, something else that's continued to come up that this story kind of reminded me of is that over the last few years, I feel like there's been a lot of conversations surrounding, like, therapy and therapy terms. And boundaries has been one of those words that a lot of people have used or, like, started to implement. How do we distinguish a boundary from maybe, like, just not wanting to do something? Or are those two things that are, like, hand in hand?

• 6:59Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. Yeah, I mean, I think you can not want to do something, and it doesn't have to be a boundary. And I agree with you. I feel like in our attempt to be more conscientious about mental health and, like, understanding these terms, I think we have gone a little overboard, right? Because a boundary is something that is for you. It is not something that you could enforce on somebody else, right? So it is like, hey, my boundary is I'm only sharing $5,000 for legal fees or whatever, right? Like, that is what a personal boundary could be for you. It can't be that you can stop them from asking other people or, you know, make them feel bad for asking, right? Like, it is the kind of setup that you have to govern your own life, right? Like, this is what I'm okay giving, sharing, whatever.

• 7:44Speaker 01

  And so I think we have kind of gotten away from just looking at boundaries as ways to kind of protect ourselves and protect our energy, to kind of use it as, like, oh, I don't want to do a thing, or I don't ever want to be inconvenienced, or I don't ever want to be put upon. Like, that is also not what it means to be in a relationship with one another, right? Like, sometimes you do have to be flexible. So I do think it's important to kind of think about the global term of boundaries and understand that sometimes it may be okay to kind of be more flexible in our boundaries that we have with one another.

• 8:13Speaker 05

  Yeah, absolutely. And as I was, like, reading the story, I was trying to extend, like, a level of grace to, because it's not a situation that I've been in where it's like, oh, that's not a decision I've ever had to make. I was shocked that he told the story. I don't know, like, what prompted that, like, especially for it to have been so long ago. But I would agree with you, too. So for our next story, let's talk about Zendaya. So Zendaya sparked a lot of debate after a video showed her remaining seated while greeting France's first lady, Brigitte Macron, at the Louis Vuitton show during Paris Fashion Week. Zendaya smiled, shook her hand, said it was a pleasure to meet her,

• 8:55Speaker 05

  but a lot of viewers felt that she should have stood up as a sign of respect. The conversation was all over threads, all over Facebook. Cancels Zendaya, she, like, doesn't show respect to those where respect is deserved. A lot of people defended her, suggesting that she was probably just caught off guard or questioning whether the interaction, like, it was Paris Fashion Week. It wasn't like a royal ceremony or something like that.

• 9:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:22Speaker 05

  So, like, was there even that level of formality required? And then there's also this other layered conversation surrounding the tone of criticism being rooted in how Black people have historically been expected to show respect to white people, especially, like, white people in power. It's just sparked a broader conversation around manners and expectations and generational divides and things of that nature. For generations, Black people have had to navigate expectations around deference to white people as a matter of, like, safety or survival or even acceptance. So, like, how do we decide for ourselves, like, what rules really are manners and make sense? And what?

• 10:06Speaker 05

  Is almost the result of like a power imbalance per se.

• 10:10Speaker 01

  Hmm hmm. Yeah, you know, to me, the setting really matters here.

• 10:15Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 10:15Speaker 01

  Right? Because I think that I've never been to a state dinner or something that like has that level of formality. But I feel like before you do those kinds of things, there's somebody who's in charge of telling you what the protocol is. Right? That prompts you and preps you for like, if this is what you do, you know? Because I feel like I've seen something where they're like, don't bow to, you know, like the president. I mean, Obama, not this one. You don't bow to the president. Like, I feel like there are different protocol pieces that somebody like informs you of when you go to more formal things. And I don't think that that would be happening at a fashion show. And so it likely wasn't something that she was thinking about. So I think that the setting really matters here. I will also caveat this with, I am a woman of a certain age from the South.

• 10:58Speaker 01

  I'm still very big on manners about, you know, you walk into a room, like you are responsible for speaking. And it is really important for me to teach my kids, like, how you show up in a room? And how do you show respect to adults and like that kind of thing? So that is something that's really important to me. So everybody may not feel like this, but I do think that there are still certain social graces that we are responsible for kind of upholding, even if other people don't do them, right? Like, because manners aren't, you would hope that they're reciprocal. But it is also just a reflection, I think, of you and how you want to show up in a space. As opposed to like, I think somebody's going to offer me something or do something because I am able to show manners. I think we have gotten too far away from social graces and like how we treat one another

• 11:42Speaker 01

  and showing respect to elders and those kinds of things. I think that those things are actually really important.

• 11:47Speaker 05

  No, for sure. It's something that I've noticed because I feel like I've lived a lot of places. And I feel like, you know, living in LA versus living in Texas versus, you know, living in New York. I feel like it's very different depending on where I go and just how those kind of like manners and traditions have carried. It's, it's interesting to like observe too.

• 12:07Speaker 01

  Hmm hmm. Yeah.

• 12:09Speaker 05

  And then the other thing that kind of stuck out to me from this story was from Zendaya's perspective, she was just there to watch the fashion show. Like, it was just something that she was there to see, to enjoy. Like, she probably wasn't even thinking, going into it, thinking that anything could come from this. Like, even when I saw the trending line, I was like, Zendaya's been canceled. I was like, she doesn't bother anyone. Like, what does she do? And I think it speaks to this element of black women always just having to be responsible for managing everyone's perceptions of them. And we talked about it a little for the, I think it was the tennis match conversation with the content creators

• 12:49Speaker 05

  that were doing TikTok dances and not really like following the rules of the match of like being quiet throughout the match. But I think there's, that's maybe one end of extremes. But it's also like, how do you balance those types of norms of the place that you're in? But also just living and being and not having to worry about managing the perception of people around you.

• 13:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, it kind of feels like, can we just live? Right? Like, I think that there is the part of this conversation that is around how black women and our behavior and our appearance and our tone and all of that is policed, right? Like, everybody has something to say. But I also think that this is a greater indictment on like the surveillance culture that many of us didn't actively opt into always being at the wheel of somebody else's camera. Right? Like, it reminds me of this story that kind of broke a couple of weeks ago with this interaction between a woman and her husband at the baseball game. And like, the story that blew up that we have created, like, we have to realize that we are creating entire narratives around a moment of a capture of something that people don't even realize is being captured, right?

• 14:00Speaker 01

  And I think we often go way too far with the stories that we create. And I think that that can really lead to people feeling more on alert when they are in places, right? Because it feels like you never know when somebody is filming you doing some thing that you think is mundane. But then you get on Instagram and like people have created this entire story around whatever. It's like, wait a minute, that's not what was happening, right? And so I think that if we extend the conversation, I think that that is something to pay attention to as well. Just how we often create these long narratives around a moment in time that is captured.

• 14:33Speaker 05

  That's so true. I was on Twitter the other day, and I don't get on Twitter anymore. Like, I just happened to open the app and was just like, oh, what's going on over here? And there's a whole, it feels like subculture of people who will like take a three second clip and be like, see, this is a whole thesis on like what was happening. Or just like not even have a clip and just like lie and be like, this person did this. And it's like, well, where's the proof? And it's like, oh, we don't have it. It's like, okay, well, what's, yeah, okay, what are we doing? So that's so true. It's like, there's just cameras everywhere. And especially at that level of celebrity where you can't go anywhere without someone taking out their camera.

• 15:13Speaker 05

  It's like, maybe we just extend her some grace to just live without all of the backlash for something so small.

• 15:21Speaker 01

  More from our conversation after the break. A rare disease diagnosis can change your life, but it doesn't have to define your future. Tune in for season seven of Untold Stories: Life with a Severe Autoimmune Condition, a Ruby Studio production in partnership with Argenx. Hosted by public health and policy expert Dr. Martine Hackett, Untold Stories: Life with a Severe Autoimmune Condition pushes the conversation within the rare disease community forward. Featuring guests living with MG, CIDP, myositis, SMA, and other rare autoimmune conditions, each episode explores hope, progress, and connection. How does research create new opportunities? How do shared experiences help light the way forward? How do we best show up for each other?

• 16:05Speaker 01

  Tune in to find out. Listen on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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  Hey, it's Niall Rogers, host of Before the Moment, a Lincoln original series. I'm driving across the country, meeting some of today's most fascinating artists. We're exploring the stories before the moment that changed everything. This week, I'm joined by Miguel.

• 16:32Speaker 07

  Man, I'm a black and Mexican kid from San Pedro, and I grew up in Inglewood as well. I never liked to be like boxed in. Both of my parents colored outside of the line. I mean, even them being together at the time in LA was just not typical. And so I think that has always been a part of my DNA. There's a defiant something in me that feels like what we get to do with, with what we're given that's greater than us is to maybe connect people to ideas that they wouldn't naturally, you know, connect to. That's really me. I'm just kind of like defiant with love, though.

• 17:08Speaker 06

  Experience Before the Moment, a Lincoln original series on the iHeart Radio app, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.

• 17:19Speaker 05

  Well, our last topic, we're going to talk about Jurski's newest skit. So if you missed it, Jurski released a skit a few days ago. It is entitled "That's So Zion," where he is portraying a fictional former child star who is portraying a bunch of unpredictable adult behavior. It appears to parody several former young celebrities, including Raven Simone, Jojo Siwa, Orlando Brown, too. And the sketch basically jokes about how child stars can change dramatically after growing up in the entertainment industry. I think we talked about a story a couple of weeks ago with Raven Simone basically saying, well, that's so Raven's not black. Like, all these different things.

• 18:04Speaker 05

  And we see a lot of stories about child stars who are growing up and they're struggling with substances. Or Hayden Panettiere, just a few weeks ago, passing away from substance abuse and things of that nature. And it's a big question to tackle, but like, when a lot of these stories break, I guess my first question is like, how do the different paths of child stars kind of play out? In the sense that you look at like someone like Hilary Duff. And by all accounts, from what we can see, she's gone from child star to adult star. And it's been a pretty smooth road where it's like you have your Britney Spears and your Amanda Bynes. You have different stars that are dealing with different things. Why does this happen?

• 18:49Speaker 05

  Like, why can we see such drastic changes in behavior from child star to adult star?

• 18:56Speaker 01

  Hmm. Yeah, I think that this can really depend on a lot of different factors, right? Like, what kind of setting was the young person in when they were filming, right? Like, was it something where they were constantly being on, like they were kind of the star of the show versus like a supporting character? I think that that probably matters just in terms of like time. I also think depending on like the surveillance and like how present was a parent or an adult for the child? Present, right? Like, were you kind of a hawk in making sure that you were always there? And like, somebody was always, you know, kind of watching what was happening? Because sadly, we have heard some horror stories about like what kind of things were happening on sets that maybe adults didn't know about. So I think that that probably matters as well.

• 19:40Speaker 01

  I also think that you have to look at like the mental health and like, what kind of state were the parents in when the child was actually a part of these things, right? Because I think for a lot of people, sadly, you know, the child became like the meal ticket for the family. Or people were living out their dreams through the child. And so then like adult stuff gets mixed all into what is supposed to be maybe a fun thing for a child. So I think that that largely has a part to do with it. Like, how healthy were the adults who were in charge of the child in the first place? Before you then got exposed to all this celebrity and, you know, not being able to go anywhere without people recognizing you and like feeling really confused as to like why so many people know your name?

• 20:21Speaker 01

  Like, it's such a precarious state to be a child and then to be in the public eye, especially if you don't have adults who are protecting you. I think we can see that go awry very quickly in lots of different ways.

• 20:34Speaker 05

  Yeah, I can't remember whose interview I was listening to, but someone was saying that Everything as far as like the little things that like make kids kids and the fact that, you know, a lot of them can't really go to school normally, especially if they're working. It's like go to your tutor for like an hour and a half a week and then you just like kind of move on from it. And it's just a very different experience. But I also can't help but think about the fact that we still have child stars within TV and movies, of course, but we also have this kind of like new carve out of child star through TikToks and people who are going on social media and have almost their kids as like personalities

• 21:16Speaker 05

  that they're able to share and kind of make stars out of. What are some things that you think that parents should keep in mind? Not to say that doing it is right or wrong, but like just some things to keep in mind to help with that transition as kids age when they're kind of used to just being on the screen or in a lot of cases are kind of, like you mentioned, the meal ticket for their family, just in this new medium of TikTok.

• 21:45Speaker 01

  Mm hmm. Yeah. So I think, one, you have to be very mindful of safety, right? So even if the child is online, be very careful about sharing things about like where they go to school and what kinds of places you frequent. Like, you know, we do know that not everybody online has good intentions. And so I think you definitely want to be very mindful about safety and still keeping some things private. I also think it is really important to be in tune with and in touch with whether this is something your child actually wants to do, right? Because I think that there are some things that kind of start as like just children being children. Maybe they're dancing, maybe their curiosity and they want to do something. But then at some point, when it is something that becomes monetized or becomes a job, it may not actually be something that your child wants to do

• 22:28Speaker 01

  anymore. And I think that that's important to pay attention to, right? So making sure that you are paying attention to and asking like, hey, is this something that you want to still do? I also think it is important for you to be reflective about yourself and constantly assessing yourself, right? Like if now your child is making more money than you ever even made, you know, in your professional career, it can be really easy to kind of want to push them and, you know, kind of shepherd them to continue to do a thing. But that is where I think you have to pay attention to, like, am I getting my own needs met through what is happening with my child? Because again, I think that that can lead you down a path that may not be so great. And so constantly checking in with yourself about like what needs are getting met from this for you and making sure that that is

• 23:10Speaker 01

  not overriding, like the child's want to do this or excitement or fun in doing this. I think that those are some things to really kind of be paying attention to.

• 23:18Speaker 05

  Yeah, I would totally agree. I think that like, there's a whole era of like, you can't really scroll TikTok without seeing videos of kids, just making sure that they're protected. I know that there's some laws or that either have been passed or in the process of being passed about like, making sure that kids are compensated correctly and things of that nature too. So yes, let's keep the baby safe. So.

• 23:39Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 23:40Speaker 05

  But that wraps up our topics for the week. Thank you, Dr. J.

• 23:43Speaker 01

  Thank you, Bria. Great topics as always. And if there are things that you'd like to hear us weigh in on, you can always send those to us at therapyforblackgirls.com/mailbox. And until next time, take good care of yourself.

• 24:01Speaker 01

  A rare disease diagnosis can change your life, but it doesn't have to define your future. In season seven of Untold Stories, Life with a Severe Autoimmune Condition, host Martine Hackett continues the conversation with people living with MG, CIDP, and the broader rare disease community, exploring what comes after diagnosis through stories of hope, progress, and connection. Produced by Ruby Studio in partnership with Argenx. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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  Hey, I'm Niall Rogers. This fall, I'll be driving across the country, meeting some of today's coolest and most fascinating artists. We'll explore the stories before the moments that changed everything. Because every musician remembers the moment where it all began. Experience Before the Moment, a Lincoln Original Series on the iHeartRadio app, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.

• 26:08Speaker 00

  This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed Human.