I Have Some Thoughts Minisode | Jools Lebron, Tee Grizzley, & Jacquees

Welcome back to our minisode series, "I Have Some Thoughts." These short episodes are designed to contextualize the pop culture moments we're currently paying attention to through a mental health lens. Pop culture isn't just fun to chat about, it can reveal important information about how we relate, cope, and understand ourselves. Join us each Friday to hear Dr. Joy share her thoughts about the happenings of the week. This week, we're chatting about Jools Lebron's GoFundMe, Tee Grizzley's expungement, and Jacquees' decision not to sing backup for Chris Brown & Usher. Stay Connected​https://click.convertkit-mail.com/27uv20p9mpioh8edr34s8ug63w344hg/58hvh8ug08p6wzc6/dGhlcmFweWZvcmJsYWNrZ2lybHMuY29tb3JibGFja2dpcmxzLmNvbS9wYXRyZW9u Wanna chat more about the pop culture hot topics of the week? Join us inside our Patreon https://community.therapyforblackgirls.com/ community. Is there a topic you'd like covered on the podcast? Submit it at therapyforblackgirls.com/mailbox https://www.therapyforblackgirls.com/mailbox. If you're looking for a therapist in your area, check out the directory at https://www.therapyforblackgirls.com/directory. Make sure to follow us on social media: Instagram: @therapyforblackgirls https://www.instagram.com/therapyforblackgirls Threads: @therapyforblackgirls https://www.threads.com/therapyforblackgirls Our Production Team Executive Producers: Dennison Bradford & Gabrielle Collins Director of Podcast & Digital Content: Ellice Ellis Producer: Ndeye Thioubou Production Assistant: Bria Mosley See omnystudio.com/listener https://omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed Human.

• 0:04Speaker 01

  A rare disease diagnosis can change your life, but it doesn't have to define your future. In season seven of Untold Stories, Life with a Severe Autoimmune Condition, host Martine Hackett continues the conversation with people living with MG, CIDP, and the broader rare disease community, exploring what comes after diagnosis through stories of hope, progress, and connection. Produced by Ruby Studio in partnership with Argenx. Listen on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

• 0:34Speaker 02

  I'm Martha Stewart from the Martha Stewart Podcast. When you want to make your best, it's got to be McCormick. From everyday meals to hosting dinner parties, turn to McCormick. Their convenient, versatile flavors elevate every dish. McCormick has been and is an essential in the kitchen. Now they have a new line of signature seasonings crafted by flavor experts. With everyday favorites like garlic and olive oil, globally inspired ones like chimichurri, and more. McCormick's signature seasonings make it easier to add bold flavors that make each bite of your meal more delicious. Try the chimichurri blend that elevates grilled meats. Explore the full array of blends and find your favorite at McCormick.com.

• 1:24Speaker 01

  Hey y'all, welcome back to I Have Some Thoughts, iTherapy for Black Girls, weekly mini-soaps series where we talk about all things pop culture, but of course, from a mental health lens. I'm joined again this week by Bria. Hey, Bria.

• 1:36Speaker 00

  Hi, everyone. Excited to get into the topics this week. So first, let's talk about Jules LeBron. Now, if you need a reminder, Jules LeBron is a 33-year-old TikTok influencer who went viral for starting the Very Mindful, Very Demeure TikTok challenge that had everyone in a headlock, everyone was saying it. Well, she recently went viral after launching a GoFundMe seeking $45,000. Now, she shared with her over 2 million TikTok followers that she was seeking money for dental surgery. A few months ago, she did come forward and say, you know, I've been struggling a lot with addiction. Now, because of that, that is actually rotting her teeth.

• 2:18Speaker 00

  I think where a lot of the controversy started to come in was that as she was announcing this GoFundMe, she said that she didn't want to ask fans for help, but she also doesn't think that getting a, quote, "regular job" would do anything to help her situation. Now, this sparked a lot of outrage from followers because essentially, she's asking them to use their regular job money to help her in a way that kind of came off entitled. This led to her ultimately deleting the GoFundMe and announcing that she was going to be stepping away from TikTok entirely. And I think the broader question for a lot of the conversation back and forth is, how do we recognize when we are asking for help versus expecting other people to solve our problems?

• 3:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, so I guess my initial reaction was like, either you were gonna give or you aren't. Right? And so I think Jules, of course, has a larger platform maybe than most people who are sharing GoFundMe's. But I feel like I see some of this sentiment anytime somebody shares like a link that's asking for help. And I'm always confused because it feels like if you were going to give, then you kind of have an internal conversation around like, okay, what does this mean to me? Can I do it? Is this something that I feel like I want to support? And you give? Or if you weren't going to anyway, then why the commentary? Right? I just get really confused. And I think it goes back to some of the conversations we've had around like online behavior

• 3:43Speaker 01

  and how we almost see each other as avatars as opposed to actual humans with like a full life. So I think that this was another one of those cases that let me be very confused as to why people were having such strong reactions when it seemed like this was not going to be something they were going to support anyway. And I think so many of us have struggles asking for help that I think that things like GoFundMe's and Buy Me a Coffee or whatever, all of the links that you can share, are actually really good practice runs for asking for help, especially if you are somebody who has struggled to ask for help. Now, I do think though, a lot of people will be more hesitant to share these kinds of things because of the kind of backlash that we see here, right?

• 4:26Speaker 01

  Some of the other commentary I saw, you know, which I also think is like just really ludicrous. Like even if you get like a regular nine-to-five job that has dental insurance, like even speaking personally, like my oldest just had to get a retainer. And dental insurance doesn't cover that, even though we have insurance, right? And so the idea that like dental insurance covers all these things, that even our regular insurance covers all these things, we know how healthcare works in this country. Like that is just something that people are saying to kind of see what sticks to the wall. But it often feels like anytime there's something like this that happens online, there's a lot of commentary when it really could just be, okay, I'm gonna support this or not. And if I'm not, then do I really need to even have any public critique or commentary about it?

• 5:09Speaker 00

  Absolutely. And I think one of the references that I was seeing a lot in the conversation was, I think we actually talked about this a few months ago, was it was James Charles, I believe. One of the airline workers had lost their jobs as part of the playoffs and went forward and asked James for money. And he was like, I don't owe you guys anything. Like it's all entitled, XYZ. And so it's interesting to see it play out from the other side where it was like, okay, remember you guys said you didn't owe us anything. Now you're asking us for things too. Which is just like an interesting kind of dichotomy there.

• 5:48Speaker 00

  But I think the common theme between both of these situations is that there seems to be a disconnect. And we kind of talked about it a little bit last week too. The idea of money just seems so touchy, like especially when there's a perceived like power imbalance, where it's like you're looking at a Jules or a James Charles and they have millions of followers. And it seems like they would have money all figured out. What I guess makes this disconnect so blatant in these situations?

• 6:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think it's a lack of being in touch with reality, right? Like a million followers does not mean a million dollars. Like the platforms do not pay you per follower. Right? So we know that a lot of that, you know, whether it is like real or not, it doesn't necessarily mean anything and it doesn't translate into actual money. Nor does it mean that there is like this, we got it all figured out sense of financial literacy, right? Like especially for people who do not come from money. Even when you get some money, like you still have to figure out what to do. And I feel like I read something about like Jules taking care of her family with the money that she's received from the Very Mindful, Very Demeure. And I feel like I remember also that there was a bit of back and forth with her, like getting her trademark together.

• 7:02Speaker 01

  Like, you know, we don't even know how much money was missed or like opportunities she didn't get. Because I don't think this was a thing she expected to take off and didn't have a like plan for a business, right? So I think we have to remember that these things don't kind of happen overnight. That even if you get a windfall of money, that doesn't mean that you automatically know what to do with it. Or that there hasn't been some other emergency that she needed to tend to or that anybody needed to tend to that then severely lessen the amount of money that you have available to you. You know, like I think we have to be mindful, to use our word, of like how expensive stuff is, right? Like groceries are expensive, but God forbid, there's like a health emergency.

• 7:44Speaker 01

  Like we already talked about, like health insurance doesn't cover nearly, I think, as much as maybe people assume it does. And so most of us are like one emergency away from maybe posting our own GoFundMe's, right? And so I think we got to remember that we all make different kinds of decisions around money. And a lot of that depends on whether we grew up with money, whether we have a good understanding of how to use it, how do we save, and whether there is even enough to save after you deal with maybe all the things that were on the back burner before you even got the money.

• 8:14Speaker 00

  Absolutely. I love that, Dr. Joy. Thank you. So for our next topic, we're going to talk about rapper T. Grisly. Now, T. Grisly is a rapper out of Michigan. He actually announced on Instagram last week that his criminal record has been officially expunged. Now, the felony convictions on his record stem from a set of robberies he committed while he attended Michigan State University in 2014. T. Grisly went on Instagram and shared that the felonies cost him a lot of performances, business opportunities, and even access to certain insurance policies. And he took to Instagram to express his relief and gratitude after years of navigating this legal system, sharing that one decision doesn't have to define your entire story.

• 9:00Speaker 00

  And I would love to go into that because I think that it's not a topic that comes across very often, especially in the pop culture world where you do see these stories of people's records getting expunged and almost getting a second chance. So how can like carrying a past mistake or a label affect someone's identity, even if they've grown from that and they've changed?

• 9:21Speaker 01

  This is such a great question, Bria, although I do feel like I have to admit my auntie status and let you know, I have no idea who T. Grisly is.

• 9:29Speaker 00

  I'll send you one of his songs. I think you might.

• 9:33Speaker 01

  Okay, that would be helpful, but it doesn't matter, right?

• 9:35Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 9:36Speaker 01

  Again, this is just like a jumping off point for a larger conversation. And I think it is a good point in that none of us have to be defined by the worst things that we've done or the worst decision that we made. And I think that this is an excellent example of fighting through this system. And even if you are not proud of some of the decisions that you've made, he's clearly paid the consequences for these things. His life has been altered in lots of different ways through this. And so it is okay for him to be on the other side of this decision and now think about what kinds of things do I want to do moving forward? And it feels like this is especially timely in the midst of our surviving middle school series, right? When we're talking all about the decisions that young people make and how sometimes they are not making logical, rational decisions.

• 10:20Speaker 01

  And unfortunately, sometimes that has very difficult negative consequences. But what does it look like to come out on the other side of that? And I think for T. Grizzly and for anybody else, it can really hamper your sense of identity, right? Like that I am now defined by this awful thing that I did as opposed to I made a mistake. Like we all make mistakes and I have to learn to deal with it and then figure out how to rebuild my life on the other side of it. And so there can definitely be significant mental health consequences to decision making like this, right? In terms of identity, in terms of what that means about confidence, self-esteem, I would imagine there have been maybe some struggles with like anxiety or depression because of the difficulties with finances.

• 11:05Speaker 01

  You know, you mentioned not being able to get certain gigs and insurance policies and all of those things. And so there definitely is a tie to your mental health related to decision making and the mistakes that we've made. But I do think it is important to see somebody publicly talk about, yes, this thing happened and this is how I'm moving forward with my life.

• 11:23Speaker 00

  Absolutely. Yeah. And I think even reflecting on kind of his career trajectory, missing out on those business opportunities and having maybe those financial struggles as a result of that, I'm sure was caused a lot of those things and really led him to feel that so heavily because he released a single that had taken over the charts and then to not be able to do anything with that or to feel like you were on the brink of making it per se, and then it just be snatched away too.

• 11:53Speaker 01

  What was the single, Bria?

• 11:54Speaker 00

  It's called First Day Out.

• 11:56Speaker 01

  Oh, no. Maybe if I hear it.

• 11:59Speaker 00

  Okay, I'll send it to you. And then what role does forgiveness play in all of this? Because you have to forgive yourself, but then at the same time, like courts are forgiving you on paper, business opportunities that you may want to work with have to extend this as well. So how does the role of forgiveness kind of play into all of this too?

• 12:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think that it's a huge role, right? Like, of course, going through the court system, whether we want to view that as a forgiveness, it is, I guess, in some ways, right? Like, okay, my record is sponged. I have been forgiven in the eyes of the law. But I think the bigger role really is around self forgiveness, right? Like, how do you make peace with the fact that maybe you made a decision that has led to some difficult consequences and still see yourself as valuable and worthy and deserving, even in spite of your mistakes? And so I think that that is where the talking to yourself more kindly comes from, understanding again, that you are human and that we all make mistakes and some mistakes have bigger consequences than others. But it doesn't mean that you lose your humanity because you made this kind of mistake.

• 13:04Speaker 01

  And so I do think making sure that he and anybody else who is struggling with this is being more compassionate with themselves and looking for support in places where people are also validating who you are, not necessarily condoning the behavior, right? Or, you know, saying like, oh, it was okay that you did that thing. That's not at all what we're saying, but you've done it. You've faced the consequences and now we're on the other side of it. And so what does it look like to rebuild your life? And if there is a way to atone with any of the people that he did rob or whatever, or maybe there was a public statement made as a part of his court proceedings where he apologized to the people, right? Because people were still harmed. So even if you are now on the other side of it, we can't kind of control the reaction to that people have that we've harmed.

• 13:49Speaker 01

  And so if there can be an apology or some atonement for the behaviors that maybe were harmful to other people, I think that that's also an important part of this forgiveness role.

• 13:59Speaker 00

  Absolutely. I love that. All we can do is grow and learn from our mistakes, so.

• 14:04Speaker 01

  Yes. More from our conversation after the break. A rare disease diagnosis can change your life, but it doesn't have to define your future. Tune in for season seven of Untold Stories: Life with a Severe Autoimmune Condition, a Ruby Studio production in partnership with Argenx. Hosted by public health and policy expert Dr. Martine Hackett, Untold Stories: Life with a Severe Autoimmune Condition pushes the conversation within the rare disease community forward. Featuring guests living with MG, CIDP, myositis, SMA, and other rare autoimmune conditions, each episode explores hope, progress, and connection. How does research create new opportunities? How do shared experiences help light the way forward? How do we best show up for each other?

• 14:49Speaker 01

  Tune in to find out. Listen on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

• 14:58Speaker 03

  Hey, it's Niall Rogers, host of Before the Moment, a Lincoln original series. I'm driving across the country, meeting some of today's most fascinating artists. We're exploring the stories before the moment that changed everything. This week, I'm joined by Miguel.

• 15:16Speaker 04

  My small experience with the discrepancy in the business of music made me angry in the best way and I wanted to, I wanted to finish. So I started really like leaning into my therapy, trying to get down to like what matters now. Somewhere Miguelito felt like he didn't have a place to say how he felt. And music was the place that I went to, to say how I felt.

• 15:38Speaker 03

  Experience Before the Moment, a Lincoln original series on the iHeart Radio app, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.

• 15:50Speaker 00

  And for our last topic, we're going to talk about R and B singer, Jacquees. He did an interview recently in which the interviewer asked him why he didn't join Usher and Chris Brown on their world tour. They've been on tour for what it seems like months now. It started, I think, in Europe and then it's here, I think, until the end of September, October. But Mario Tank and Eric Bellinger are on tour with Usher and Chris Brown. However, they're kind of singing background in some capacity on the tour. I haven't watched some of the footage. I don't, I didn't go.

• 16:26Speaker 00

  But a lot of people were asking like, why Jacquees wasn't on the tour? Because he actually has a very close relationship with Chris Brown. Jacquees goes on to explain that he didn't join because he doesn't want to sing backup. He doesn't feel like that's what he should maybe reduce his career to. And this has started a lot of conversation with many, actually, because a lot of people interpreted as Jacquees being maybe too prideful about where his music career actually is. This is me inserting my opinion is that Jacquees, he's had like a couple of hit singles every once in a while, but he's not particularly on a level of a Chris Brown. When you look at like the chart performance, for example, a lot of people kind of interpret it as him being too prideful and a lot of people actually agree with him.

• 17:11Speaker 00

  And it's like, he shouldn't have to lower himself to background singing if that's not where he feels that his career is and he should have to be able to like walk in that confidence if he wants to. But I think the broader question or the push and pull is how do you know the difference between making a move out of self-respect and making a move out of ego, for example?

• 17:35Speaker 01

  Hmm. This is a tough one. I'm a little familiar with it, so not full on say status there. But I think my first reaction is like, why did he have to, right? Like, if he feels like his career is at a stage where he thinks he's like the opening or the main act as opposed to like a background singer, I think that that is an okay choice to make for himself and for his career. But I will also add, I don't think there's anything wrong with being a background singer, right? And so I don't think that there's a need to make being a background singer seem like this kind of second rate, like it is a respectable job and position and a way for you to share your talent, just like being the main performer, right?

• 18:19Speaker 01

  And so I don't think it has to be a like a power imbalance or a hierarchy there. But I also think it's fine for him to make the decision that he feels like is okay for his career right now. Now, I think about when we think about making decisions, though, from ego, I think you want to pay attention to what are our motivations, right? Like, do I feel like this is something that is beneath me? What other opportunities am I being given right now? What other opportunities might come from this situation versus like, oh, this is not something that I'm going to do? I think sometimes ego-driven decisions really kind of force us to cut off our nose to spite our face, so to speak, right?

• 19:01Speaker 01

  That we can't always see like all the other things that might be available to us when we are leading with our ego versus a self-respect kind of boundaries decision, I think feels more aligned. It feels more like this is kind of where I am right now and I'm making this decision based on this set of standards or whatever.

• 19:23Speaker 00

  And like, you kind of touched on it, but what are some questions that we can ask ourselves to make that delineation? So like, whether it's, you know, taking a different job or having different events or things like that or opportunities, what are questions that we can use to pressure test against ourselves? You're like, okay, this is not to say it's a good opportunity, but this is not me making a decision out of pride, for example.

• 19:52Speaker 01

  Mm hmm. That's a good question. And I did, I shared a couple, I think, specific for, you know, maybe the music kind of world. But I think when you think about, like, you gave another great example of taking a different job that maybe feels like not where we thought we would be in our career. I think you have to ask yourself, what need do I have that this opportunity might help to meet? What other opportunities might arise from this? What additional skills might I develop by participating in this opportunity? Like, thinking about what can happen on the other side of this situation, even if this is not the final stop? Is this something that moves you closer to something that feels ideal? I think that those are some additional questions to ask yourself.

• 20:34Speaker 00

  I love that. I think when it comes to like the case of Jacquez, I actually saw he has an album coming out either in the next couple of months. And so for him, it's probably like, you know, I'm trying to establish my press for my new album and all of that. And if I'm singing background, maybe it doesn't provide that same opportunity for him. So it's a good lens to look at it through. Well, that wraps up our topics for this week. Thank you, Dr. Joy.

• 21:00Speaker 01

  Thank you, Rhea. Great topics as always. And if there are things that you'd like to hear our thoughts about, you can always send those to us at therapyforblackgirls.com/mailbox. Until we talk again, take good care of yourselves.

• 21:18Speaker 01

  A rare disease diagnosis can change your life, but it doesn't have to define your future. In season seven of Untold Stories: Life with a Severe Autoimmune Condition, host Martine Hackett continues the conversation with people living with MG, CIDP, and the broader rare disease community, exploring what comes after diagnosis through stories of hope, progress, and connection. Produced by Ruby Studio in partnership with Argenx. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

• 21:48Speaker 05

  Hey, it's Covino and Rich Davis from Covino and Rich. Buy smart, drive for less, and trade for more. That's Toyota affordability. And it starts with a great deal on an off-road ready Tacoma or half-ton Tundra, two of Toyota's most capable and longest-lasting trucks. Combining power for work, tech for adventures, and style in between. Built on reputation for quality and reliability, Toyota trucks are known for holding their value, which can mean big savings when it's time for your next Toyota. So get a great deal today and great value tomorrow. Shop toyota.com for more. Toyota, let's go places.

• 22:23Speaker 06

  Are you looking for support in your weight management journey? Zepbound Terzepatide may be able to help. Zepbound is a prescription medicine used with a reduced calorie diet and increased physical activity to help adults with obesity, or some adults with overweight who also have weight-related medical problems to lose excess body weight and keep the weight off. Zepbound is approved as a 2.5, 5, 7.5, 10, 12.5, or 15-milligram injection. Zepbound contains Terzepatide and should not be used with other Terzepatide-containing products or any GLP-1 receptor agonist medicines. It is not known if Zepbound is safe and effective for use in children. Don't share needles or pens, or reuse needles.

• 23:05Speaker 06

  Don't take if allergic to it, or if you or someone in your family had medullary thyroid cancer, or if you've had multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type 2. Tell your doctor if you get a lump or swelling in your neck. Stop Zepbound and call your doctor if you have severe stomach pain or a serious allergic reaction. Severe side effects may include inflamed pancreas or gallbladder problems. Tell your doctor if you experience vision changes before scheduled procedures with anesthesia. If you're nursing, pregnant, plan to be, or taking birth control pills. Taking Zepbound with asylphonal urea or insulin may cause low blood sugar. Side effects include nausea, diarrhea, and vomiting, which can cause dehydration and worsen kidney problems.

• 23:44Speaker 06

  Talk to your doctor. Call 1-800-545-5979, or visit zepbound.lily.com.

• 23:53Speaker 07

  This is an iHeart Podcast. Gear and see it human.