Pod Insights Therapy for Black Girls I Have Some Thoughts Minisode | Lauryn Hill, Muni Long, & North West About this episode Welcome back to our minisode series, "I Have Some Thoughts." These short episodes are designed to contextualize the pop culture moments we're currently paying attention to through a mental health lens. Pop culture isn't just fun to chat about, it can reveal important information about how we relate, cope, and understand ourselves. Join us each Friday to hear Dr. Joy share her thoughts about the happenings of the week.
This week, we're chatting about Lauryn Hill at the BET Awards, Muni Long's health concerns, and North West's appeals for individuality.
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Transcript 0:00 Speaker 00 This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed Human.
0:04 Speaker 01 A rare disease diagnosis can change your life, but it doesn't have to define your future. In season seven of Untold Stories, Life with a Severe Autoimmune Condition, host Martine Hackett continues the conversation with people living with MG, CIDP, and the broader rare disease community, exploring what comes after diagnosis through stories of hope, progress, and connection. Produced by Ruby Studio in partnership with Argenx. Listen on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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2:55 Speaker 01 Hey y'all, welcome back to I Have Some Thoughts, our weekly Therapy for Black Girls mini-soaps series, where we are talking about all things pop culture, but of course, from a mental health lens. And this week, I am joined by Elise, our Director of Podcasting and Digital Content. Hey, Elise.
3:10 Speaker 05 Hey, Dr. Joy. I am so happy to be back. While I was out, of course, I was enjoying my break, enjoying vacation, but you know, in the back of your mind, you're like, the team is talking about something. I want to talk about it, too.
3:25 Speaker 01 So what do we have on our list today? There's been so much happening.
3:28 Speaker 05 There has been a lot happening. So we're going to start strong with the 2026 BET Awards, which aired this past weekend and honored the fabulous Lauryn Hill with the Living Legend Icon Award, which recognized her lasting impact on music and culture. Despite releasing just one solo studio album, The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill, nearly three decades ago, she has remained one of the most influential artists of her generation. And industry disputes and creative differences have all contributed to her limited catalog. But I think the recognition at the BET Awards has prompted a lot to question whether artistic value should be measured by how much someone produces
4:11 Speaker 05 or by the lasting impact of the work they create. And so, you know, I think a lot about like, in a culture that celebrates this constant productivity and output, what can we learn from slowing down and letting the work speak for itself? And so my question for you is, why do we often assume that more is always better, whether it's accomplishments, promotions, or creative work?
4:34 Speaker 01 I mean, I think you talked to spoke to it in the question. I think so much of our society really glamorizes this idea of more equals better. Right? So even as you finish one accomplishment, then it is immediately going to you like, oh, well, what is what's next? Right? Like, that's even how we talk with one another. But I think if we could all be so fortunate as to do a thing like The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill, and that be our only thing, would there not be a no? Right? Like, I I think that if there's something that I did in my life and people compared it to The Miseducation, I would feel pleased, right? To be able to say that a work that you created 20 plus years ago still has such staying power.
5:17 Speaker 01 Like, I watched the BET Awards and immediately launched into a re-listen of Miseducation. Right? And so something that has that kind of staying power that feels just as relevant now as it did when I was a sophomore in college, because that's when it came out. Like, I can vividly remember being in my friend's apartment, listening to this album. And so I think that that just really speaks to why we love Lauryn in general, is that she creates this work that is so timeless, that really speaks to us through multiple levels of our lives. But I do think so much of society is just go, go, go, do the next thing. And I think she has really just resisted that for one reason or another. Right? Some of it, I think, has been legal.
5:59 Speaker 01 But I think also, has she felt like there's anything else she needed to say on that same level as Miseducation? Maybe not.
6:06 Speaker 05 I'm curious, what does it cost us when we feel like we always have to produce something new? What does it cost our mental health?
6:14 Speaker 01 Oh, I think it it kind of leads to exhaustion and burnout, which I think is really interesting, because I've also seen this conversation and very struck by like, how many black women are having this conversation when so many of us also find ourselves depleted and exhausted. Right? And so instead of kind of looking at Lauryn and holding her up to be like a possibility model of, hey, I could do this thing and not feel pressured to kind of rush into this next thing. We're questioning, we've kind of drank the Kool-Aid, so to speak, of this idea. That we have to constantly be producing to kind of prove our worth to advance to the next stage. And I think it costs us a lot in terms of our mental health. So much of our identity then becomes tied to
6:56 Speaker 01 work, which can be fleeting. And so how good do you feel about yourself if you're not putting out this next thing? Which I think is very detrimental to our mental health. But also the anxiety that comes with like trying to top this thing that you just did, or the depression when it feels like you are not raising to the levels that maybe you've previously gone to. And so I think that there is a huge cost to our mental health when we are kind of constantly going, going, going. Instead of just being and, you know, allowing ourselves to sit with maybe the things that we've already created.
7:28 Speaker 05 I think something you said earlier that really resonated with me is questioning whether or not you have something to say. I sometimes will like peruse the timeline of Toni Morrison's releases and obviously books take a longer time to produce. But I do think there's gaps in between those books. There are very long gaps in between some of those books. And I think it does take a level of internal metering. Do I have something to say or am I trying to appease an algorithm or some arbitrary timeline or goal? That's something I think about a lot.
8:02 Speaker 01 Me too. And I think that that's a part of like my tension with social media. Just because it feels like there's always a conversation happening and I personally just feel like I don't need to talk if what I have to say has already been said. But I feel like so much of social media prioritizes and like praises just like saying something just to be a part of the conversation regardless. I mean, personally, that is a tension for me. Like I don't want to talk if like the thing that needs to be said has already been said by somebody else.
8:29 Speaker 05 Yeah, I don't think every medium, every conversation is for everyone and that's completely okay. So my last question on this beat is how can creativity benefit from rest, space, or even long periods of quiet rather than constant output, which we talked a little bit about. But I'd love to hear your perspective as someone who's has a book or who wrote a book and is producing and working on this podcast.
8:55 Speaker 01 Yeah, I think we see it and I think that this kind of speaks directly to what I feel like has been a decline in like music, for example, right? Like historically, people would have one album and they would tour and you would see, you know, random singles kind of released throughout time. And then maybe a couple of years later, there would be another album. Whereas now, sometimes we're getting like two albums a year and it's like, there hasn't been enough time to breathe. And so I think for anything creative, you have to kind of sit with stuff, right? For it to be good. So people will often ask me like, oh, what's the next book? I have no plans of writing another book right now. Like, there's nothing that I feel like I need to say again. And I feel like Sisterhood Heals still has time to percolate. There's
9:37 Speaker 01 still things I want to talk about from that book. And so I think sitting with ideas is really important for the creative process, to think things through, to live with them, to breathe with them and dance with them. Like, the creative process, I think by nature, is a slow one. And it doesn't really lend itself to this next, next, next project that I think some of us feel forced to live in.
9:59 Speaker 05 I also think there's a difference between having some type of creative discipline and practice that gets you in the routine versus constant output. And that practice might be really internal. I also think about, you know, in terms of writing, you got to live a little. Like, how can you write your tar baby if you haven't even been outside?
10:23 Speaker 05 You can't do that. And so I always think about when I feel like I'm not producing some arbitrary level of output, I'm like, girl, part of the research is in development is just living.
10:37 Speaker 01 Yes, agreed. More from our conversation after the break. A rare disease diagnosis can change your life, but it doesn't have to define your future. Tune in for season seven of Untold Stories: Life with a Severe Autoimmune Condition, a Ruby Studio production in partnership with Argenx. Hosted by public health and policy expert Dr. Martine Hackett, Untold Stories: Life with a Severe Autoimmune Condition pushes the conversation within the rare disease community Forward, featuring guests living with MG, CIDP, myositis, SMA, and other rare autoimmune conditions. Each episode explores hope, progress, and connection. How does research create new opportunities? How do shared experiences help light the way forward?
11:21 Speaker 01 How do we best show up for each other? Tune in to find out. Listen on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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12:42 Speaker 06 Hey, I'm Niall Rogers, producer, songwriter, guitarist, and co-founder of the group Sheik. A great song has a way of defining a moment, a moment of joy, heartbreak, or anything in between.
12:59 Speaker 06 This fall, I'll be driving across the country, dropping in on some of the coolest, most fascinating artists working today. We'll go deep into their lives and careers and hear what it was like before the moment that made them. From hitmakers like Miguel...
13:16 Speaker 07 That last year, finishing that record was the hardest experience of my life. Regardless of how everyone else buys into this, I believe in this and I'm gonna push.
13:28 Speaker 06 To rising stars like Alex Warren.
13:31 Speaker 04 You know, a song is a story and the verse is setting the scene. And for me at least, it's allowing me to be personal and vulnerable with the audience. Whether it's about my wife and I'm being vulnerable about her, or it's about, you know, my parents and I'm being vulnerable to them. And it's almost like a cinematic piece in a way where each song tells that beautiful story.
13:49 Speaker 06 It's gonna be one hell of a trip. Experience Before the Moment, a Lincoln original series on the iHeart Radio app, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.
14:01 Speaker 01 Host Nora McInerney is back for an all-new season of The Head Start, embracing the journey brought to you in partnership with AbbVie. In each episode, Nora has honest conversations with real people living with chronic migraine, people who are figuring out how to adapt, advocate, and stay connected to the things that bring them joy. This season, she's revisiting familiar voices and introducing new ones who will share their stories about what it means to live with this condition. From the missed moments to the strategies that help them keep going when things feel uncertain. As always, she'll be joined by headache specialist Dr. Christopher Rhine, who offers insight into these challenges and the questions many of us have. If you're new to the podcast, check out the three previous seasons,
14:44 Speaker 01 each one offering a different perspective on this condition and the theme of resilience, displayed while navigating it. So don't miss season four of The Head Start: Embracing the Journey. Listen on the iHeart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
15:01 Speaker 05 So moving on to our second topic of the week. Money Long revealed that her 10-plus-year struggle with lupus caused her to have a double lung transplant. You may remember last year, she was on tour with Brandy and Monica for the Boy Is Mine Tour and had to drop out, unfortunately, for health reasons. She shared on Good Morning America that at just 37, doctors had given her only a week to live. And I'm thinking about how can a serious illness reshape someone's sense of identity?
15:32 Speaker 01 Yeah, I was really shocked to hear this. I mean, of course, her health information is private, but to know, I do remember her having to leave that tour, but never really knew why. And so to find out like how serious things were, I think, was really kind of striking to me. And when you think about like illness, especially something that feels like maybe this sudden, I think it does really kind of shake your sense of identity and your sense of like normalcy and safety in the world, right? Because all the things that you knew before, in her case, right, of like being a touring artist and probably being somebody who was super active and kind of on the go, instantly shifts when you have this kind of diagnosis and the doctor says, hey, you gotta like stop, right? Like that goes against all the things that we just talked about, right?
16:15 Speaker 01 In terms of how you make your living and how you identify as an artist and, you know, all the kinds of things that you've known about yourself. And so I think that there can be a huge shift to your identity when there is an illness that kind of really forces you to stop in the way that something like this did.
16:31 Speaker 05 What does it mean or what might it look like to really grieve and give space to the version of yourself that existed before a major illness? Especially when there are, I don't know, like characteristics or stereotypes of what it means for a person to have lupus or PCOS or whatever it may be?
16:51 Speaker 01 Yeah, I think the grieving process is a very difficult one for lots of different reasons. And especially in this case, like we talked about, you know, when you kind of have identified yourself as somebody who is a touring artist and somebody who has the stamina to perform and you know, so much of like your physicality is tied into like what your voice even sounds like, right? And so there were likely periods where she couldn't even sing, whether it was performing or not. And so there is a grieving of this is what I thought my life would be. And this is the reality and the actuality of it, of what it is. And so how do I make peace with the things that I can no longer do, but also embrace the things now that may look very different?
17:33 Speaker 01 And even though I may not be able to do these kinds of things, maybe there are other possibilities that are open to me now. But you can't necessarily get to that like silver lining before you get to the ouch, this really kind of sucks and I don't like this, right? Like there is often a lot of like negotiation and anger when somebody is grieving because you have likely spent a long time developing the identity that you found yourself in. And so to kind of have that drastically pulled away is very, very difficult. And so I think allowing yourself to sit with that, I feel like we say that all the time here, but allowing yourself to sit with it and also getting support from people who maybe are in similar situations or people who really understand it and who won't rush you to like, oh, okay, well, but we can do this, right?
18:18 Speaker 01 Like you don't want people to rush you to that silver lining before you've actually had time to sit with this is the new reality of my situation. And I don't love it, but at some point I will be able to make peace with it.
18:32 Speaker 05 I love that. I love that. I think you're the guru on this, but sisterhood truly does heal.
18:40 Speaker 01 It definitely does.
18:43 Speaker 05 And before we go today, we're going to talk about my Gemini little sister Northwest, who was photographed at Paris Fashion Week with new lip piercings between her blue hair, her cheek studs, her nose piercings, all of this at 13 years old. I think her expression of herself has definitely caused a lot of conversation. And I'm curious, how can parents strike a balance between encouraging individuality and setting boundaries with their children, but also not shaming the individuality that we see other people express themselves within?
19:19 Speaker 01 Mm hmm. So I, I think one part of this conversation that's, that's really important to pay attention to is that 13-year-old Northwest is not having the same experience as like a 13-year-old necessarily in Atlanta, right? Like this is a celebrity child who has a very different like experience of life than like non-celebrity children. And so I think that that part of it can't be lost because she is existing in a very different world where like the rules may be different than the ones that you might have in your house, right? But I think, you know, when you think about like 13-year-olds and just their experience of themselves in the world, a lot of what is developmentally appropriate at that age is them finding themselves and figuring out who am I as separate from my parents and like my family?
20:04 Speaker 01 And what does that look like? So there might be different hair colors, there might be piercing, there may be experimenting with all kinds of different things. And so I think what's important is figuring out what does that look like in a way that is safe and healthy and respects the rules of whatever your family is, right? And so I think something I've seen, and I think there's been lots of conversations in families around hair color. And so one way that I've seen like some families kind of experiment with this is like during the summer when you're not in school, like they will let kids be more experimental with hair. And so I think that that can be one way to, you know, allow them to experiment, but in a way that maybe is not breaking any kind of honor codes or dress codes at school. So I think having the child express like what kinds of things feel important and figuring
20:48 Speaker 01 out ways to do that that are healthy, right? And so if it is piercings. Piercings, can you take them to, I think like some dermatologists do that now, or even pediatricians will do that. So figuring out what kinds of things feel safe or like playing with non, you know, like you don't have to get pierced to like, you know, experiment with earrings or you know, like that thing. So what kinds of thing is the child like trying to express? And what kinds of ways can you allow them to do that in ways that feel healthy? And also don't feel like too big of a stretch for you.
21:21 Speaker 05 How do you think also parents may be able to reckon with their child's expression? Like visual expression being outside of like what they feel comfortable with in terms of like it may be like representing like a subculture. Or to your parents, like, I don't, if, I don't get it. This is weird. How do parents like grapple with that without shaming their kid? Like where can we start to develop a point of understanding?
21:46 Speaker 01 Yeah, I think this really goes back to the idea of raising the child that you have as opposed to the one that you thought you wanted or that you thought you did have, right? Like if a child is coming to you and say, hey, I want blue hair and these kinds of piercings. It may not be something that you get, but if it feels like something that's important to them, I think you have to ask yourself, what is the harm in this, right? And I think for a lot of us, what we will recognize if we ask that question is that we are feeding into some kind of respectability politics. Right? Like this idea that my parenting will be judged because I let my child have blue hair. Or I let them have a bunch of piercings. Is it really causing any harm to your child and like their development? These decisions they're making now, if it is, that's a very different kind of conversation.
22:28 Speaker 01 But if it is something as harmless as hair color or piercings, I think you have to really sit with, why am I so resistant to this? And understanding that this is a part of what they're supposed to be doing at thirteen is like figuring out who they are, how they want to look. How do you fit in with friends? This is what's cool and what's popular. If it is not something that is harmful or unhealthy in some way, I think we have to get off our soapboxes and our high horses. And say it's okay for kids to experiment and kind of do different things, even if it's not something we would choose for ourselves.
23:01 Speaker 05 Well, thank you for that. I loved when you said raising the child that you have and not the one that you expected to have. That was beautifully put. Well, that's all I have for today.
23:12 Speaker 01 Great topics as always. And if there are things that you're talking about in your circles that you'd like us to weigh in on, please send that to us at therapyforblackgirls.com/mailbox. But until next time, take good care of yourself.
23:24 Speaker 05 Bye.
23:32 Speaker 01 A rare disease diagnosis can change your life, but it doesn't have to define your future. In season seven of Untold Stories: Life with a Severe Autoimmune Condition, host Martine Hackett continues the conversation with people living with MG, CIDP, and the broader rare disease community, exploring what comes after diagnosis through stories of hope, progress, and connection. Produced by Ruby Studio in partnership with Argenx. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. With ChatGPT, you can do more than get answers. You can get things done. Whether you're leading a big project, planning an elaborate trip, or trying to balance work and life, ChatGPT can help. Give it a goal, plus things like files, notes, or project
24:16 Speaker 06 plans, develop a trip itinerary with daily updates, or create a prioritized schedule, so you can spend less energy sorting out the details and more on bringing your biggest ideas to life. Get started at chatgpt.com. Hey, I'm Niall Rogers. This fall, I'll be driving across the country, meeting some of today's coolest and most fascinating artists. We'll explore the stories before the moments that changed everything. Because every musician remembers the moment where it all began. Experience Before the Moment, a Lincoln Original Series on the iHeartRadio app, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.
25:02 Speaker 00 This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed Human.
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