Pod Insights Therapy for Black Girls I Have Some Thoughts Minisode | Jay-Z at the Roots Picnic, Love Island Contestant Kicked Out, MIA sues Kid Cudi About this episode Welcome back to our minisode series, "I Have Some Thoughts." These short episodes are designed to contextualize the pop culture moments we're currently paying attention to through a mental health lens. Pop culture isn't just fun to chat about, it can reveal important information about how we relate, cope, and understand ourselves. Join us each Friday to hear Dr. Joy share her thoughts about the happenings of the week.
This week, we're chatting about Jay-Z at the Roots Picnic, a Love Island contestant being kicked out before the season airs, and MIA suing Kid Cudi.
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Transcript 0:00 Speaker 00 This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed Human.
0:04 Speaker 01 A rare disease diagnosis can change your life, but it doesn't have to define your future. In season seven of Untold Stories, Life with a Severe Autoimmune Condition, host Martine Hackett continues the conversation with people living with MG, CIDP, and the broader rare disease community, exploring what comes after diagnosis through stories of hope, progress, and connection. Produced by Ruby Studio in partnership with Argenx. Listen on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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1:44 Speaker 01 Welcome back to our next episode of I Have Some Thoughts, our weekly pop culture, mental health mashup chat. I am joined today again by Elise Ellis, who is our Director of Podcast and Digital Programs. Hey, Elise.
1:57 Speaker 04 Hey.
1:59 Speaker 01 Very excited to hear what we're gonna chat about today, Elise.
2:02 Speaker 04 Of course, of course, of course. So first, we definitely have to start with all things Hove. This weekend, Jay-Z headlined the Roots picnic in Philadelphia. The performance drove a lot of conversation online with many fans reflecting on where they were in life when those songs first came out and celebrating Jay-Z's continued presence as one of hip-hop's most influential figures. When it comes to reunion tours and anniversary shows, I'm always curious, are we missing the music or the version of ourselves that existed when we first heard it? So my question for you is, why can hearing music from a particular era bring up such powerful emotions and memories?
2:45 Speaker 01 Oh, I have been seeing this chatter. Well, I wasn't there, of course, but I have been paying attention to some of the video clips and the excitement that people have had. And I don't know that it's like that we're missing a younger version of ourselves or the music. I think that it is just a perfect combination of nostalgia and remembering where you were when this song hit, or memories with your friends, or experiences that you had and that music was the background of it. And so I think it is just a really cool thing to relive those moments and kind of bring those into your present life. I remember when we talked to the dance and movement therapist on the podcast, and she talked about how concerts and live music experiences can often serve as a co-regulating
3:29 Speaker 01 experience for us, which is why I think so many of us really enjoy going to concerts, not only to hear our favorite artists, but also there's something very communal and powerful, I think, about experiencing those things together that I think is really healing for a lot of people.
3:45 Speaker 04 I love that. I was very jealous that I wasn't able to go.
3:48 Speaker 01 I was wondering, because you've been in the past, right?
3:51 Speaker 04 I have. I've been to the Roots picnic probably six times. So yeah, ever since I was in high school, being from the East Coast, I'm from DC, so it was just right up the street for me.
4:01 Speaker 01 Right, right. The other part of that conversation has also been Hove combed out his locks.
4:08 Speaker 04 No, I was getting, you know, I was getting there.
4:14 Speaker 04 So Jay-Z definitely combed out his locks. There was a lot of chatter like, why is he in blues nachos? All of these things, but I definitely would love to hear from you what it means to see larger cultural figures, black figures, wear and embrace their natural hair. He already was with his locks, but we're seeing a new style, which I think is really cool.
4:34 Speaker 01 Mm hmm. Yeah, I mean, I think we've had some version of this conversation on the podcast, right? Just talking about like how hair shapes our identity and how, you know, it's experimental, especially as black women to kind of, you know, do different things with our hair. And I always think, you know, we've come a long way in that conversation, but I still don't think we are like arrived in terms of feeling like your hair needs to be straight for special occasions. Or like, what kind of messaging are we giving young people? As I always think it's cool when somebody with a large platform embraces their natural hair. Now I do though, still think there's a conversation around like texturism, right? Like I think that is often missed in this conversation that most times we are celebrating a particular type of natural hair, but I think
5:16 Speaker 01 there is room to expand that conversation in that our natural hair is glorious and beautiful in whatever system we are on that chart or whatever. But I do think it is exciting to see, of course, always the evolving conversation around natural hair in big moments.
5:31 Speaker 04 Now I may get an eye roll from you for this one, but this week kicks off Love Island, USA. And just before the season eight premiere of Love Island, USA contestant Vasana Montgomery was removed from the cast after old videos resurfaced online showing her using a racial slur. Although the clips weren't recent, they quickly spread across social media after the cast announcement, leading producers to remove her from the show before it even aired. We've seen this on Love Island and countless other reality TV shows, and people are debating the impact of digital footprints, accountability, and what happens when past mistakes resurface years. Years later, as people enter new faces of their life.
6:17 Speaker 04 And I'm like, can people grow beyond their past mistakes when the internet never forgets? And so we hear so much about the internet being forever. My question for you is, how can people navigate the anxiety of knowing their past mistakes, acknowledging their poor decisions or things they said years ago could resurface at any moment?
6:38 Speaker 01 Hmm. Yeah, this feels like very timely, right? Because one of our January Jump Start episodes this year was around like reminding you to eliminate your digital footprint and minimizing your digital footprint. And this is what the guest talked about, right? Like, the internet is forever. And so I think that there is a way to grow past some mistakes, but I do feel like some mistakes are like larger than others, right? There is a mistake of, oh, I accidentally swapped out somebody's order with something else it should have been versus a racial slur, right? I think that that speaks to a deeper kind of character kind of concern than like a silly mistake that maybe you made as a child. But I also think it is important for us to then be talking to the young people in our lives
7:20 Speaker 01 and like using these kinds of things as examples of, hey, you may think it's just being kind of silly or having fun with your friends or like being in the cool crowd saying things online, but look at the impact this can have even 10, 15, 20 years later, right? And so even when you think, oh, I deleted the video or I took it down, like, it's very likely that somebody already has a copy of it. And so it's really important to always be mindful of what kinds of things you're sharing online. Also, it does feel like we have one of these kinds of crises with Love Island every year. And so it's making me wonder if some of this is not a publicity kind of thing, because surely, I mean, I know at least last year, there was the same kind of situation.
8:02 Speaker 04 Oh, for sure.
8:03 Speaker 01 Yeah, so surely, somebody is researching contestants to see what kind of digital footprint they have before they're even invited on the show. And so some of this is making me think like, is this just a way of kind of drumming up publicity for the new season? Because surely, somebody knew these videos existed anyway.
8:18 Speaker 04 I said the same thing, that if random person on the internet can find these videos, then I would expect a casting producer who...
8:32 Speaker 04 Is searching through the weeds to find people to be able to source them and then make decisions. To me, it does seem like not necessarily the controversy is manufactured, but hey, we chose this problematic person. Let's see how the audience may react to it. Do they care? And is that going to drive viewership? Because at the end of the day, it's not like the show is going to get canceled because of it, because they have the power to remove contestants. And I think something I also think about when a lot of these slurs are racial slurs, but then we also talk about them as childhood or childish mistakes. I think it is a bit concerning that so many people, part of their development is using racial slurs,
9:15 Speaker 04 is using the N-word, is being derogatory towards Black women. And I think about as a Black woman who was online, like especially on Twitter when I was in middle school and I was in high school, what seeing that can do for a person over time, especially when people say like, hey, that was just who I was as a kid. And it's like, well, someone was on the receiving end of that as a child. And so I wanted to get your thoughts about that as well.
9:40 Speaker 01 And I think we talked about this on the podcast too. Like, why is that seen as a part of like childhood, right? That definitely was not a part of my childhood. You know, like there are definitely things you learn as kids, but like, what kind of environment are you being raised in that this is kind of seen as like a normal kind of growing pain? So to speak, right? And so I am concerned just as a society that this feels like a developmental milestone in some ways for some communities when it is, you're right. Like, somebody is on the receiving end is the butt of those jokes. And so what kind of overhaul do we need to have as parents, as loved ones? And when we have young people in our lives to make sure that we are monitoring what people are talking about online and what kinds of language are we using at home, right?
10:21 Speaker 01 Because it's very likely that when younger kids are using this language, they have heard it from somewhere, right? And sometimes that is from parents. And so you have to be careful of what kinds of things you're saying so that you don't influence young people in your life in a way that is negative and harmful to their development and who they become as an adult.
10:39 Speaker 04 Thank you for that.
10:40 Speaker 01 More from our conversation after the break. A rare disease diagnosis can change your life, but it doesn't have to define your future. Tune in for season seven of Untold Stories: Life with a Severe Autoimmune Condition, a Ruby Studio production in partnership with Argenx. Hosted by public health and policy expert Dr. Martine Hackett, Untold Stories: Life with a Severe Autoimmune Condition pushes the conversation within the rare disease community forward. Featuring guests living with MG, CIDP, myositis, SMA, and other rare autoimmune conditions, each episode explores hope, progress, and connection. How does research create new opportunities? How do shared experiences help like the way forward? How do we best show up for each other? Tune in to find out.
11:26 Speaker 01 Listen on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
11:32 Speaker 02 This January, bare-knuckle fighting championship takes over the ocean. The inaugural Brew's Cruise sails from Miami to the Bahamas aboard the Norwegian Jewel. Three straight days with pool-deck bare-knuckle fights in the Caribbean. Massive parties, beach events, DJs, cigars, tequila tastings, and non-stop action. The lineup reveals coming soon. Cabins are disappearing fast, and the prices won't stay this low. Reserve your spot with just $200 down at B K F S E A dot com.
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12:35 Speaker 04 Last but not least, this is definitely one for, I'd say like the Tumblr era alternative kids. But MIA is suing Kid Cudi for more than $2.8 million after he removed her from his Rebel Ragers tour earlier this year. Cudi dropped her from the lineup following backlash over a politically charged set of comments she made onstage in Dallas, Texas, including remarks about being a Republican voter and immigration that drew boos from concertgoers. The dispute has sparked broader conversations about friendships, professional relationships, and ideological differences. And I'm curious, can relationships survive
13:18 Speaker 04 these major divides? How should people determine which values are negotiable and which are deal breakers?
13:28 Speaker 01 Ooh, it definitely feels like this has been a larger conversation. I will say, I mean, probably all of our lives, right? But definitely, I think, post 2020, it feels like the pandemic and like the political landscape really forced a lot of these conversations in ways that we hadn't seen as publicly, I think, before then, right? So lots of friend groups and family members had different ideas around COVID precautions and like, it's okay to do this and it's not okay, right? And so I think that that forced a lot of conversations that people didn't quite honestly know how to have, in addition to like the political landscape, which is coming up in this story, right? And so I think that there's a difference between like, I like Coke and you like Pepsi, right? That is something that is not going
14:09 Speaker 01 to fundamentally change anybody's life. It's just a difference of opinion versus, I am supporting a political administration that is against immigration and like against science and like all of these awful things that we have seen this administration kind of back. And so I do think that there has to be space for you to say, you know what, like, this was a friendship or a relationship that was okay, maybe before I knew these things, but you are behaving and supporting in ways or supporting things that I fundamentally disagree with. And it is not just, we can agree to disagree. It is like, these are conversations and behaviors that Gigantically change people's lives, right?
14:53 Speaker 01 Like whether somebody is worth healthcare and safety versus something that is a miniscule kind of difference of opinion. And so I think that is where we are, right? And that is okay to have differences of opinion in like the friendships and professional relationships because you don't fundamentally believe in the same things.
15:13 Speaker 04 I also think there's this set of disappointment that can happen in grief when someone we respected, whether that is a figure in pop culture or a close friend, changes in unexpected ways or reveals beliefs that may be different from ours. And I'm curious, what advice do you have for people processing that grief? Hey, I was really close to someone and they said something homophobic or even as simple as they, you know, may have really a complicated relationship around diet culture that's affecting me in a bad way and I see the way they talk about other people. How do you process that grief and the changing of the relationship when something like that happens?
15:54 Speaker 01 I love that you labeled that as grief because that's exactly what it is, right? And I don't think we always recognize when we are having a grief experience because we often think grief is just about the loss of a loved one, right? But this is a grief experience, right? This is the loss of the relationship that you thought that you had, the support that you had from this person, maybe the story that you created of who this person was to you and the life y'all would have together. And so it is a grief experience, right? And so just like anything else that we are grieving, you have to give yourself time to mourn the loss of what you thought this was and the memories that were held and like, how do you kind of come to terms with who you thought this person was versus who the reality of the situation? And all of that takes time and it's really complicated.
16:39 Speaker 01 I think we often get stuck in grief experiences when we try to rush past some of the sitting with, the sadness and the disappointment and the betrayal and the whatever that comes up after we are realizing that we're grieving something. We try to rush past to like, oh, okay, I can find a new friendship or oh, I'll find a new business relationship. But sometimes you just gotta give yourself the timeline of going through the Sucky experience of ouch, this hurts. And so I think that is a huge part of grieving the loss of who you thought this person was and the disappointment is just allowing yourself to sit with those difficult experiences. And then also sharing those thoughts and those experiences with somebody who doesn't make you feel bad about it. Because I think that there's a lot of times when we minimize people's
17:20 Speaker 01 grief experiences because it feels silly to us or like, oh, you can find new friends or oh, whatever, you shouldn't idolize pop culture people anyway. But it's a very real experience, right? Like, the feelings and the emotions are very real. And so I think getting support from people who don't make you feel silly or, you know, like you're crazy for being sad about a loss is something that's really important to managing the grief experience as well.
17:44 Speaker 04 Well, that was such a beautiful and grounding note to end on, Dr. Joy. Thank you for that.
17:50 Speaker 01 Thank you, Elise. If there are any pop culture topics that you are paying attention to that you would like us to chime in on, please send those to us at therapyforblackgirls.com/mailbox. And until next time, take good care.
18:10 Speaker 01 A rare disease diagnosis can change your life, but it doesn't have to define your future. In season seven of Untold Stories: Life with a Severe Autoimmune Condition, host Martine Hackett continues the conversation with people living with MG, CIDP, and the broader rare disease community, exploring what comes after diagnosis through stories of hope, progress, and connection. Produced by Ruby Studio in partnership with Argenx. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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19:08 Speaker 02 This January, bare-knuckle fighting championship takes over the ocean. The inaugural Brew's Cruise sails from Miami to the Bahamas aboard the Norwegian Jewel. Three straight days with pool-decked bare-knuckle fights in the Caribbean. Mess of parties, beach events, DJs, cigars, tequila tastings and non-stop action. The lineup reveals coming soon. Cabins are disappearing fast, and the prices won't stay this low. Reserve your spot with just $200 down at BKFSEA.com.
19:38 Speaker 00 This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.
Previous Session 466: Reclaiming Soul Food Next Session 467: Eating While Black Page updated October 30, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated