Pod Insights Therapy for Black Girls I Have Some Thoughts Minisode | Love Island Star Gets Married, Boosie Continues to Have No Sense, Yung Miami's Thoughts on Marriage About this episode Welcome back to our minisode series, "I Have Some Thoughts." These short episodes are designed to contextualize the pop culture moments we're currently paying attention to through a mental health lens. Pop culture isn't just fun to chat about, it can reveal important information about how we relate, cope, and understand ourselves. Join us each Friday to hear Dr. Joy share her thoughts about the happenings of the week.
This week, we're chatting about Love Island's Jalen Brown's recent wedding, Boosie's continued displays of homophobia, and Young Miami's recent thoughts on marriage.
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Transcript 0:00 Speaker 00 This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed Human.
0:04 Speaker 01 A rare disease diagnosis can change your life, but it doesn't have to define your future. In season seven of Untold Stories: Life with a Severe Autoimmune Condition, host Martine Hackett continues the conversation with people living with MG, CIDP, and the broader rare disease community, exploring what comes after diagnosis through stories of hope, progress, and connection. Produced by Ruby Studio in partnership with Argenx. Listen on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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1:04 Speaker 04 This January, bare-knuckle fighting championship takes over the ocean. The inaugural Brew's Cruise sails from Miami to the Bahamas aboard the Norwegian Jewel. Three straight days with pool-deck bare-knuckle fights in the Caribbean. Mess of parties, beach events, DJs, cigars, tequila tastings, and non-stop action. The lineup reveals coming soon. Cabins are disappearing fast, and the prices won't stay this low. Reserve your spot with just $200 down at bkfsea.com.
1:44 Speaker 01 Hey y'all, welcome back to another episode of I Have Some Thoughts, our mini-soad that it focuses all on pop culture with a mental health lens. So I'm excited to be joined again today by Bria, our production assistant. So Bria, what do we have on our roster today?
2:00 Speaker 05 All right, lots to get into today. So for our first story, we are actually gonna step into Love Island world.
2:06 Speaker 01 Uh oh.
2:08 Speaker 05 Last summer, there was a man named Jalen Brown and he starred on Love Island USA, season seven. Well, less than a year later, Jalen has announced that he is actually married. So a little background on the timeline, Love Island USA, season seven wrapped in July of twenty twenty five. And then Jalen met a TikTok creator named Joya a few months later. Now, if you're not familiar with Joya, she comes from a family of content creators, including her older twin sisters, Jayla and Janay, who's famously known as Auntie May. Well, last week, Joya and Jalen announced that they are married, and many people are wondering if the relationship moved too fast. A lot of people are also pointing out the fact that Joya actually comes from a family where they actually married pretty young.
2:53 Speaker 05 I think Jayla married her husband about like three months after meeting him, and then Janay was in a long-term marriage, I believe, for a few years before she announced that she got divorced a couple of years ago, too. So it started a broader conversation surrounding whether fast relationships are automatically unhealthy, or if people are projecting their own fears. So the first question that I have for you is, why do people often assume that fast-moving relationships are less emotionally healthy?
3:26 Speaker 01 Oh, great questions. Often, we don't know the full story behind anybody's relationship, right? And so all any of us are doing, unless we intimately know the details, is projecting, right? And so our ideas about what might work for us is only for us, right? What works for other people is very, very different. Now, I do think that a lot of time, just like with anything that like does not go well, we often hear the horror stories. And so I think many of us have horror stories of people in our lives, or things that we've heard online from relationships that did not end well, because maybe they met quickly, or like got involved really quickly. But there are tons of other stories, I think, that where there are success stories, right?
4:07 Speaker 01 And the length of time that you get to know someone in our dating does not necessarily indicate the health of a relationship, or how long-lasting it's going to be. And so I think the best thing is for all of us to do what works for us, and to kind of be guided by our own values and our own thoughts about what feels okay for us.
4:26 Speaker 05 No, definitely. And in that same vein, when it comes to relationships, what do you think really matters the most? If you had to like rank them or even like put a couple together? Is it the time? Is it the emotional maturity? Or is it just intentionality throughout the relationship?
4:45 Speaker 01 Oh, that's a good question, Maria. I feel like emotional maturity and intentionality are probably what matters the most, right? I don't think time really is any indication, because if this is somebody who is going to be a good fit for you, it doesn't really matter whether you date six years or whether you date six weeks, right? Like, if they're gonna be your person, they're your person. But I do think emotional maturity and intentionality go a very long way, right? Like, how do you handle conflict in the relationship? What happens when we disagree? Now, I tend to think that it is a good idea to go through a holiday cycle with somebody before committing seriously, just because I think there are lots of things that come up around holidays that give you a good indication of not only who this person is,
5:30 Speaker 01 but who the family is, right? So, how are decisions made about where we go for the holidays? What happens if there's conflict with the family during holidays? I think that that is a good idea. But again, those are my ideas, right? That may not work for everybody. But I do think the intentionality and the emotional maturity really help you to navigate anything that might come up. How do we have difficult conversations? Like, I think being intentional about, hey, these are what I plan for my life, and this is how I want to include you, goes a much longer way than somebody dating for six years.
6:04 Speaker 05 For sure. And that's so true, because we also hear stories where people date for six, seven years, and then like a switch flips. It's like, who is this person that I'm even with?
6:13 Speaker 01 Exactly. Or dating for a very long time, and then there is no intention of the relationship getting more serious, right? Like, I think a lot of people unfortunately find themselves there, you know, just kind of thinking that, oh, because we've been together a very long time, this relationship will go to the next level where I want to. Whereas I think it's important to have those conversations very early on about, okay, what do we see as kind of like the end goal for this relationship?
6:35 Speaker 05 Exactly, yeah. So for our listeners, if they find themselves in a position or a situation where they maybe feel like their relationship is moving at a faster pace, what are some questions that you might recommend that they ask themselves to see? Is this healthy? Or are things just maybe moving a little too fast?
6:53 Speaker 01 Yeah, so I think one question is, does this actually feel good to me? Does this relationship feel reciprocal? Do I feel like I'm able to be my full self? Do I really feel like grounded in this relationship? Or am I more infatuated with the idea of being in a relationship?
7:11 Speaker 05 Yep.
7:11 Speaker 01 Right? Because sometimes that happens, right? Like, we get really excited and it's like, oh, my gosh, butterflies and fireworks, right? But I think it is important to slow down and recognize, is this somebody who you really feel restored by? And it feels reciprocal? Or are you just really excited about the relationship? Also, I think how you handle conflict in a relationship is really important, right? So have there been disagreements? Have things gone awry and you were able to get back on track? I think being able to handle disagreements and conflicts is also really important in a relationship.
7:41 Speaker 05 For sure, totally agree. So for our next story, unfortunately, we're moving into something that's a little less happy and rosy than marriage. We have to talk about Boosie.
7:51 Speaker 01 Oh, gosh, what has he done now?
7:55 Speaker 05 Over the weekend, Boosie took to social media and called for the NBA to ban male players from wearing fingernail polish. Now, he was likely referencing Jared McCain. He's a guard for the Oklahoma City Thunder. He very famously wears nail polish on the court and even has a partnership with the beauty brand Sally Hansen. Now, as you are aware, I can tell, Boosie does have a long-running history of homophobia. But unfortunately, his comments are not in territory to male communities and Black communities alike. So it's really started a broader conversation of how have these rigid ideas of masculinity functioned in these communities? So from your perspective, like, why do people tend to assign deeper meaning
8:38 Speaker 05 to things like fashion and grooming and nail polish?
8:42 Speaker 01 Yeah, I think it is so outdated and just really very stereotypical and not in a healthy way. That's why I was like, oh, what has Boosie done now? Because it's always like some ridiculous kind of thing that he says or does that just really feels like... Is there nothing else there? Right? Like, is there no sense to be had from this person? So... I am a newly minted Jared McCain stan. I'm such a fan of him. Just his story, I think, is incredible. You know, like many people will know, he recently got traded from the Philadelphia, the 76ers and last year kind of was on the track to be Rookie of the Year and then got sidelined by an injury.
9:23 Speaker 01 Got back this year, had some struggles and then was traded, but he got traded to OKC and just had his first like Western Conference Finals start. Last night, actually, which was very exciting. So I just think that he is somebody who is just so joyous and just so like sure of who he is and what he stands for that. I love that he has been able to bring that energy to the NBA. It's just like, I am who I am and it doesn't matter, right? And really, I think encourages other people to be more of who they are. But of course, it is no kind of shocker or no surprise that a field that is as dominated as the NBA would have kind of veins of homophobia. And I think that, I don't know that any players have necessarily gone on record really critiquing him.
10:06 Speaker 01 It feels like more people being excited about him and like that he makes people laugh and like, you know, he just, it sounds like is a joyful teammate. So I'm really glad to hear the ways that like players that he's been close to have really affirmed him and have been excited for him. But I think any field where there are that many men who don't necessarily have more progressive kinds of ideas. You will hear these veins of homophobia and patriarchy and those kinds of things. But I really think that somebody like Jared is somebody who comes in and kind of challenges that. We know sadly, Jason Collins just passed away. But he was the first player who came out, though he came out after I think he retired, right?
10:46 Speaker 01 And so I think that that also speaks to like the culture and that maybe it didn't feel safe or okay for him to come out when he was an active player. But that he did feel like it was important to talk about that after he was retired. And so I do hope that we are with players like Jared and people being more of who they are, that we are pushing further. And where we will see just that it is okay to be whoever you are and to wear nail polish and to be experimental with fashion. Like all of that has no indication, we know that that doesn't have any indication on sexuality or orientation. It isn't really people just being who they are and being excited about. Sharing their interests. But so I hope, I doubt that the NBA will even respond to Boosie.
11:28 Speaker 01 But I do hope that we will see more of a trend of players like Jared, who are just excited to be who they are and excited to share that with other people.
11:37 Speaker 05 No, for sure. I feel like I rarely even see Boosie in the news unless it's for something that he said.
11:42 Speaker 01 It's never good. It's never good. Yeah.
11:45 Speaker 05 But, I mean, to that point, the self-expression of it all, it's so important, especially like as we're younger. And I'm wondering from your perspective, like what emotional consequences come from teaching boys that softness or self-expression is unsafe or could be ridiculed.
12:02 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah. I think lots of detrimental consequences, right? Like even the common refrain of, oh, boys don't cry or just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, right? Like, I think what people intend to do is try to instill resilience and like it's okay to bounce back after mistakes. But you can't bounce back unless you've actually felt what the hurt was before. And I think that those kinds of refrains and that kind of idea really makes it so that boys and eventually men don't actually know what it means and what it feels like to actually sit with their feelings, right? They're often encouraged to rush past any difficult feelings. And I don't think that that bodes well for them individually or who they are in relationships, right? And eventually does not bode well for society because we have now then raised a group of people
12:47 Speaker 01 who don't know what it feels like to actually experience your emotional selves. And so I think that there are some really detrimental consequences, just in terms of mental health and self-esteem and people feeling ostracized, encouraging maybe a spirit of bullying. Like, I don't think that there's anything good that comes from telling boys that they can't be whoever they are, be interested in whatever they're interested in.
13:11 Speaker 05 Totally agree. Absolutely.
13:13 Speaker 01 More from our conversation after the break. A rare disease diagnosis can change your life, but it doesn't have to define your future. Tune in for season seven of Untold Stories: Life with a Severe Autoimmune Condition, a Ruby Studio production in partnership with Argenx. Hosted by public health and policy expert Dr. Martine Hackett, Untold Stories: Life with a Severe Autoimmune Condition pushes the conversation within the rare disease community forward. Featuring guests living with MG, CIDP, myositis, SMA, and other rare autoimmune conditions, each episode explores hope, progress, and connection. How does research create new opportunities? How do shared experiences help light the way forward? How do we best show up for each other? Tune in to find out.
13:58 Speaker 01 Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
14:05 Speaker 04 This January, bare-knuckle fighting championship takes over the ocean. The inaugural Brew's Cruise sails from Miami to the Bahamas aboard the Norwegian Jewel. Three straight days with pool-deck bare-knuckle fights in the Caribbean. Mess of parties, beach events, DJs, cigars, tequila tastings, and non-stop action. The lineup reveals coming soon. Cabins are disappearing fast, and the prices won't stay this low. Reserve your spot with just $200 down at BKFSEA.com.
14:35 Speaker 06 Snoring, gasping during sleep, feeling fatigued? Ask your doctor about Zepbound Terzepatide, the first and only FDA-approved prescription medicine for moderate to severe obstructive sleep apnea (OSA) in adults with obesity. Zepbound is a prescription medicine used with a reduced-calorie diet and increased physical activity to help adults with moderate to severe obstructive sleep apnea (OSA) and obesity to improve their OSA. Zepbound is approved as a 2.5, 5, 7.5, 10, 12.5, or 15-milligram injection. Zepbound contains Terzepatide and should not be used with other Terzepatide-containing products or any GLP-1 receptor agonist medicines. It is not known if Zepbound is safe and effective for use in children.
15:19 Speaker 06 Don't share needles or pins, or reuse needles. Don't take if allergic. or if you or someone in your family had medullary thyroid cancer, or if you've had multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type two. Tell your doctor if you get a lump or swelling in your neck. Stop Zepbound and call your doctor if you have severe stomach pain or a serious allergic reaction. Severe side effects may include inflamed pancreas or gallbladder problems. Tell your doctor if you experienced vision changes before scheduled procedures with anesthesia, if you're nursing, pregnant, planned to be, or taking birth control pills. Taking Zepbound with a sulphonal urea or insulin may cause low blood sugar. Side effects include nausea, diarrhea, and vomiting, which can cause dehydration and worsen kidney problems. Talk to your doctor. Call 1-800-545-5979,
16:02 Speaker 06 or visit zepbound.lilly.com.
16:08 Speaker 05 So for our last topic, we are going to touch on Young Miami because she went on a live stream recently and shared that she actually does not have plans of getting married. Paraphrasing her reasoning, she believed that a couple of things. Marriage is just a title. At the end of the day, men are going to cheat anyway. And divorce is expensive. So like, why go through all of the trouble for it? The comments sparked a lot of debate online surrounding the changing views on long-term marriage. And this isn't a new conversation. We just are hearing more commentary about how marriage is really just a piece of paper and it doesn't really mean anything, or going into relationships with these expectations that you could or might get hurt throughout.
16:53 Speaker 05 So how can these past experiences or even constantly witnessing unhealthy relationships impact someone's openness to marriage or a long-term commitment?
17:04 Speaker 01 I mean, I think, you know, like you said, Young Miami is just one in a long line of people who I think are witnessing things that are not unhealthy and then realizing, you know what? This is actually not for me.
17:14 Speaker 05 Yeah.
17:15 Speaker 01 But I think that that is a very limiting view. And I think, of course, like if you've had your heart broken, nobody wants to sign up to be in the heartbreak line again. Right? And so, of course, our past experiences shape what we do in the present and in the future. But I do think that there are also lots of examples of successful relationships. Right? And so I think it's fine for us to kind of interrogate and question these longstanding ideas we've had about marriage being the only thing. Right? Like, I don't think that that is ideal or healthy either. But I also don't know that it is completely healthy to be on the complete extreme. It's like, okay, never. Right? Like, I think if you make that decision for yourself, totally fine.
17:54 Speaker 01 But I don't know that we want people to foreclose on partnership if it feels like something that is important to them because they've had a bad experience or they witnessed something that didn't work out in the end. Because eventually, ultimately, all relationships are not meant to last. Right? But that doesn't mean that they weren't meaningful or that we didn't learn something about ourselves or that there was any, like, love lost. Right? Like, sometimes things just end. We change and things get different. But I think that that's a hard pill to swallow. And people don't want to, like, sign up for, you know, like, this thing might not last. But the tricky part and the hard part of being human is that we cannot predict those kinds of things. Right? It would be great if we could, but unfortunately, we can't.
18:37 Speaker 01 And so, well, part of the human experience is sometimes signing ourselves up to maybe be disappointed and betrayed. And things don't always end well. But when they do, then think about all of the positive things that you can also unlock. Right? So having people to share your life with. Again, all of this is if this is what you desire. Now, I am in full support, our conversation we had on the podcast about is having a boyfriend embarrassing. Right?
19:02 Speaker 05 Yeah.
19:02 Speaker 01 Like, I think I am in full support of people, again, interrogating whether this is something that fits for them or whether this is just a lie society has told us. But if it feels like something that you do desire and you do want partnership, then I do think it is okay to go after that with the understanding that, at the end of the day, we are humans and humans make mistakes. And even with the best of intentions and insight, sometimes relationships just end.
19:25 Speaker 05 No, yeah, I love what you said about not being able to predict because you really just never know and you kind of have to, like, step out on trust and, like, faith and trusting yourself that you know how to, like, handle these things, but also trusting your partner too. If people are in this situation, how can you tell the difference? So for someone who is toying with the idea of, is marriage for me, is long-term commitment for me? How can you tell the difference between, I'm making this empowered decision of what it is that I want versus I'm making a fear-based decision of, I'm scared of what is on the other side?
20:00 Speaker 01 Oh, that's such a good question. And I don't know that I necessarily have an answer for that, except that you make the best decision that you can with the information you have at any time, right? And so that could be about partnership, that could be about career, that could be about lots of different things, right? Like, we're always just making our best decisions of what we think will work or what is the best fit for us. And if at some point you decide, or the other person decides, hey, I don't want this anymore, I think then that is where you have to trust that you have enough of a support system, that you are resourced enough, or that you can figure it out, how to put the pieces back together, right? But I don't think any of us can make a foolproof decision because it involves another person, right? At least one other person in terms of a partnership.
20:45 Speaker 01 And so you are making your best guess and putting your best foot forward, and so is the other person. But at any point, something could change. And so I think that that is also really important for people to know that if you decide to go forward with a marriage or a long-term partnership and then something changes, it is okay for you to make a different decision. I think a lot of people get stuck in things just because it feels, oh, I made this decision. And you did. You made the best decision you could at the time. But if things now change and you find yourself in a different place, it's okay to make a different decision.
21:17 Speaker 05 Yep. I love that saying that, like, you're always allowed to change your mind at this time. So, well, that wraps up our stories for the week.
21:24 Speaker 01 Okay, thank you, Bria. If there are things percolating in your atmosphere that you think we would love to talk about here on I Have Some Thoughts, please send those to us. Again, you can do that at therapyforblackgirls.com/mailbox.
21:43 Speaker 01 A rare disease diagnosis can change your life, but it doesn't have to define your future. In season seven of Untold Stories, Life with a Severe Autoimmune Condition, host Martine Hackett continues the conversation with people living with MG, CIDP, and the broader rare disease community, exploring what comes after diagnosis through stories of hope, progress, and connection. Produced by Ruby Studio in partnership with Argenx. Listen on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
22:13 Speaker 00 Snoring, gasping for air during sleep, daytime sleepiness? I'm Shaquille O'Neal, and this shouldn't be anybody's experience. Ask your doctor about Zepbound Trisepotide, the first and only FDA-approved prescription medicine for moderate to severe obstructive sleep apnea in adults with obesity.
22:29 Speaker 03 Zepbound is a prescription medicine used with a reduced calorie diet and increased physical activity to help adults with moderate to severe obstructive sleep apnea, OSA, and obesity to improve their OSA. Zepbound is approved as a 2.5, 5, 7.5, 10, 12.5, or 15-milligram injection. Zepbound contains trisepotide and should not be used with other trisepotide-containing products or any GLP-1 receptor agonist medicines. It is not known if Zepbound is safe and effective for use in children. Don't share needles or pens, or reuse needles. Don't take if allergic to it, or if you or someone in your family had medullary thyroid cancer, or if you've had multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type 2. Tell your doctor if you get a lump or swelling in your neck. Stop Zepbound and call your doctor if you have severe stomach pain or a serious allergic reaction.
23:14 Speaker 03 Severe side effects may include inflamed pancreas or gallbladder problems. Tell your doctor if you experience vision changes before scheduled procedures with anesthesia, if you're nursing, pregnant, plant-to-be, or taking birth control pills. Taking Zepbound with a sulfonylurea or insulin may cause low blood sugar. Side effects include nausea, diarrhea, and vomiting, which can cause dehydration and worsen kidney problems.
23:36 Speaker 00 Talk to your doctor. Call 1-800-545-5979, or visit zepbound.lily.com. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed Human.
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