Session 82: Benny Blanco

I’m so out of the loop it’s crazy… Thanks to Cozy Earth for sponsoring this episode! July 11th-13th: Go to “COZYEARTH. COM” and use code “JAKE” for 45% OFF your purchase! Tickets on sale now for LIVE WITH JAKE SHANE at passthatpuss.com! Follow Benny and stream “I Said I Love You First… And You Said It Back” OUT NOW! https://benny-blanco.com/ Tell Me What's Wrong at ⁠ passthatpuss.com Follow Me! Instagram | @passthatpuss TikTok | @octopusslover8 Listen to "THERAPUSS" Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/1BHDdC0OVuHqZ706FobfOF ⁠⁠Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/therapuss-with-jake-shane/id1723626781⁠⁠ Amazon Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/93117357-1f23-46e1-8f26-88f5182a68b8/therapuss-with-jake-shane⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@octopusslover8 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

• 0:01Speaker 00

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• 0:40Speaker 01

  Hi pussies, welcome back to Therapists. Tonight, we have on someone who, quite frankly, doesn't need much of an introduction. Benny Blanco. He is, he has made some of your favorite songs you've ever heard, including mine. He honestly is a real generational talent when it comes to producing music. And I'm really lucky that I got to talk to him. He's also hysterical and was a great, great time to hang out with. And I'm really excited for you guys to hear the episode and get to know him more. If you don't know him already, which I'm honestly sure you do. This is my last week of tour right now. If I'm coming to a city near you, go to passthatpuss.com, click Live with Jake Shane, and just a minute, tell me what's wrong. Go to passthatpuss.com and click Tell Me What's Wrong. Leave a name and number if you're feeling fancy. Enjoy the episode. I love you pussies.

• 1:28Speaker 02

  Are you excited?

• 1:29Speaker 01

  I'm excited.

• 1:30Speaker 02

  I'm excited because I know, like, so, I know like so many little things that I have no idea about. So it's gonna be very fun.

• 1:36Speaker 01

  What do you know about so far?

• 1:38Speaker 02

  We're gonna, you'll see.

• 1:39Speaker 01

  Okay, are you ready?

• 1:40Speaker 02

  Are you nervous?

• 1:41Speaker 01

  Honest to God, I feel like you're reading my mind because I was really nervous.

• 1:46Speaker 02

  Are we on? Is this real?

• 1:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, is it half? Okay.

• 1:48Speaker 02

  We're live?

• 1:49Speaker 01

  I guess. I'm kind of nervous.

• 1:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, is that why you're going?

• 1:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think so.

• 1:54Speaker 02

  I'm always, I'm like, I'm squeezing.

• 1:56Speaker 01

  Maybe I'll squeeze my Cassandra.

• 1:58Speaker 02

  Okay. Who's Cassandra?

• 2:01Speaker 01

  Her.

• 2:01Speaker 02

  Hi.

• 2:02Speaker 01

  Hi.

• 2:03Speaker 02

  Okay, we're on.

• 2:03Speaker 01

  Okay, we're on. You said you had questions for me, so I'm not mad about that.

• 2:09Speaker 02

  Who are you?

• 2:10Speaker 01

  Oh, my name is Jake.

• 2:11Speaker 02

  Okay. I just know, here's what I know. I know that you're hilarious. I know that, like, I fell in love with just seeing you. Just seeing your mouth move and you walk and you talk is like the cutest thing in the world. Like, you're like, you might be the cutest person in the world.

• 2:29Speaker 01

  Really?

• 2:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, you're very cute.

• 2:30Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 2:31Speaker 02

  You're very cute.

• 2:32Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 2:32Speaker 02

  You're even cuter in person.

• 2:33Speaker 01

  No, really?

• 2:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:35Speaker 01

  Somebody told me I was a catfish the other day.

• 2:37Speaker 02

  No, no, no, that person's a piece of shit.

• 2:39Speaker 01

  Oh, thank you, okay.

• 2:40Speaker 02

  Do we like, I like how, it's like a thick mic.

• 2:43Speaker 01

  It's thick, huh?

• 2:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, it's like, woo. Okay, so, I know that, and I know that there's something about, like, I was like, I was asking my friend. I was like, hey, how did this guy get big? And they're like, oh, this thing about like pussies, like he, like something about an octo-

• 3:01Speaker 01

  Octopus.

• 3:02Speaker 02

  Okay, so I don't know.

• 3:03Speaker 01

  I used to review, well, I still do, but I would review grilled octopus.

• 3:08Speaker 02

  What?

• 3:09Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 3:10Speaker 02

  You would just review grilled octopus?

• 3:11Speaker 01

  Yes, and I would eat it, so like, okay, like, if you were sitting across from me at dinner, like, I would go, hi pussies, and you would go, hi Jake, and then we'd go tense up, and I would eat the octopus, and then I'd review it out of eight because they have eight tentacles.

• 3:25Speaker 02

  Do you love octopus?

• 3:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, I do, but, I mean, I definitely eat it a lot less than I used to.

• 3:30Speaker 02

  How did you decide that you wanted to review octopus?

• 3:33Speaker 01

  Like, I was really bored and high one day, and it just kind of came to me, and then-

• 3:39Speaker 02

  What year was this?

• 3:40Speaker 01

  Twenty twenty-two, one, twenty twenty-one.

• 3:43Speaker 02

  You were COVID. You got famous in COVID.

• 3:45Speaker 01

  It was, well, no.

• 3:46Speaker 02

  That's cute.

• 3:47Speaker 01

  It was twenty twenty, it like, all, like, it all took off twenty twenty-two, twenty twenty-three.

• 3:52Speaker 02

  Okay, but you were still, you're a COVID baby.

• 3:54Speaker 01

  I am a COVID baby.

• 3:55Speaker 02

  Okay, so, so you did that, and then where did that evolve to? I just need like the two-minute version, before I, before we get wet.

• 4:03Speaker 01

  Okay, okay. So, I started, like, I started posting on TikTok, and I sometimes would post like seventeen times a day.

• 4:10Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 4:11Speaker 01

  And-

• 4:11Speaker 02

  Kind of creepy.

• 4:12Speaker 01

  No, it was weird.

• 4:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:13Speaker 01

  Well-

• 4:14Speaker 02

  You were eating puss seventeen times a day?

• 4:16Speaker 01

  Well, no, like, I would have my friend Brett drive me to get octopus all throughout the city of Los Angeles.

• 4:22Speaker 02

  Okay, who has the best, first of all?

• 4:24Speaker 01

  Um, Angeline.

• 4:25Speaker 02

  Oh, I love their octopus. It's insane, over the arugula?

• 4:29Speaker 01

  Yes, with the lemon.

• 4:31Speaker 02

  Okay, yeah, yeah, of course.

• 4:32Speaker 01

  Like, don't play with Angeline.

• 4:32Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 4:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's amazing. Do you cook octopus ever?

• 4:36Speaker 02

  I love cooking.

• 4:37Speaker 01

  Do you really?

• 4:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, I wanna cook it for you and you rate it.

• 4:39Speaker 01

  Will you really?

• 4:39Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 4:40Speaker 01

  How long have you cooked for?

• 4:41Speaker 02

  Oh wow, will you be my best friend?

• 4:43Speaker 01

  Yes, Benny, stop!

• 4:46Speaker 02

  Okay, okay, okay.

• 4:47Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 4:47Speaker 02

  So go back.

• 4:48Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 4:48Speaker 02

  So you're posing seventeen times a day like a psycho?

• 4:50Speaker 01

  Yes, and then I started doing these like skits, like they were like improv-y skits. And like that really just took me off.

• 4:57Speaker 02

  People liked it?

• 4:58Speaker 01

  People loved them for like, and it was like-

• 5:00Speaker 02

  For like two months, they loved it?

• 5:01Speaker 01

  Well, I think I had to like dial down on them a little bit, so I wouldn't like overplay the bit.

• 5:06Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 5:06Speaker 01

  But like that's what brought me essentially here.

• 5:09Speaker 02

  Okay, and then, when did you start a podcast?

• 5:12Speaker 01

  A year ago?

• 5:13Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 5:13Speaker 01

  A little over a year ago.

• 5:15Speaker 02

  And, and what were you doing? Were you always interviewing people like me? Like, what were you do- I don't even know what I am. Were you always like interviewing people?

• 5:22Speaker 01

  Like, yeah, like, well, it started with my best friends, and then, um, I had Tate McCray on, and then I had Renee Rapp on, and that kind of like opened up the floodgates for other people to come on.

• 5:32Speaker 02

  Okay, so you were just like doing it with your friends at first? Okay, cool.

• 5:36Speaker 01

  And then it just became Therapuss.

• 5:38Speaker 02

  Okay, and where are you from?

• 5:39Speaker 01

  New York.

• 5:39Speaker 02

  Wait, it's called Therapuss?

• 5:41Speaker 01

  Benny.

• 5:42Speaker 02

  I don't know anything. I know nothing. I live under a full rock.

• 5:45Speaker 01

  Understood, but what did you think you were coming to today?

• 5:48Speaker 02

  I just saw you were great, and then, I think for a while, a few people were trying to put us together.

• 5:54Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 5:54Speaker 02

  Um, and they like wanted us to do stuff, and blah blah blah, and then, and then, some, and then we got thrown on a text together.

• 6:01Speaker 01

  Yes, yes.

• 6:02Speaker 02

  And then, I, um-

• 6:04Speaker 01

  I was super gagged and excited.

• 6:06Speaker 02

  I'm excited. I'm still excited.

• 6:07Speaker 01

  Me too.

• 6:08Speaker 02

  Um, and then, yeah, it just happened, and I was like, I just go with my gut. I always go with my gut. And I was like, this guy seems like so funny and cute, and I wanna see what he's about. So Therapuss is amazing, and that's a puss university.

• 6:20Speaker 01

  Yes, so Puss University started way before everything took off on TikTok, and I had merch that said Puss University.

• 6:28Speaker 02

  Who were you selling the merch to, though? You weren't even on TikTok.

• 6:31Speaker 01

  I'm telling you, like, I sold it to people around my college.

• 6:33Speaker 02

  Okay, what college did you go to?

• 6:34Speaker 01

  USC.

• 6:35Speaker 02

  Okay, where are you from?

• 6:36Speaker 01

  New York.

• 6:37Speaker 02

  Oh, you're from New York? I thought you were from LA or something.

• 6:39Speaker 01

  No, where are you from?

• 6:40Speaker 02

  Virginia, but both my parents are from New York.

• 6:42Speaker 01

  Where in New York?

• 6:43Speaker 02

  Uh, Brooklyn, Queens.

• 6:44Speaker 01

  My mom's from Brooklyn.

• 6:45Speaker 02

  Where are you from?

• 6:46Speaker 01

  Washington Heights.

• 6:47Speaker 02

  Okay, you're from Washington Heights?

• 6:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:49Speaker 02

  And then, and then, how'd you get to LA?

• 6:52Speaker 01

  Well, I was born in LA, and then I-

• 6:54Speaker 02

  Is this so boring? Are we like, has anyone ever asked you this stuff on air?

• 6:58Speaker 01

  I don't- Have they, Nolan?

• 7:00Speaker 02

  Not this in depth. Okay, okay, we'll get over it.

• 7:03Speaker 01

  No, I'm like happy to, I love talking about myself.

• 7:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, duh.

• 7:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, like you know, but I was gonna tell you that when I came back to LA for USC, the first song that came on the radio was East Side, and that became my freshman year song.

• 7:16Speaker 02

  Really?

• 7:17Speaker 01

  Yes, because it reminded me of the East Coast.

• 7:19Speaker 02

  How old are you?

• 7:21Speaker 01

  Guess.

• 7:23Speaker 02

  Twenty seven.

• 7:24Speaker 01

  Cool, so, um, I'm twenty five.

• 7:27Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 7:28Speaker 01

  How old are you?

• 7:29Speaker 02

  Thirty seven.

• 7:31Speaker 01

  Really?

• 7:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm old as mold. Okay, do you want me to tell you, you want me to show you how old I am?

• 7:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:35Speaker 02

  Okay, in two thousand eight, how old were you?

• 7:41Speaker 01

  Eight.

• 7:42Speaker 02

  Okay, I had like number one songs on the radio when you were eight years old.

• 7:47Speaker 01

  Like, what songs?

• 7:49Speaker 02

  Like, okay, you want me to give you, you want me to give you your, your summer?

• 7:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:53Speaker 02

  Two thousand eight, your summer of two thousand nine, your summer of two thousand ten?

• 7:56Speaker 01

  Go.

• 7:57Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 8:00Speaker 02

  Katy Perry, I Kissed a Girl. Katy Perry, Hot and Cold.

• 8:06Speaker 02

  Katy Perry, California Girls. Katy Perry, Teenage Dream. Kesha, Tik Tok. Kesha, Your Love Is My Drug. Kesha, We Are Who We Are. Kesha, Blow. Wait, I'm just thinking of the, those years. Uh, Britney Spears, Circus.

• 8:25Speaker 01

  You did Circus?

• 8:26Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 8:27Speaker 01

  I love Circus!

• 8:29Speaker 02

  Okay, wait, we're just going through your, we're just going through those few years.

• 8:31Speaker 01

  Okay, okay.

• 8:32Speaker 02

  We have, we have, um, what else do we have in that era? Uh, we have like, all the Maroon five stuff, then we have, oh, then we have like, uh, Rihanna, Diamonds, all that stuff. That was a little late, that was two thousand eleven.

• 8:44Speaker 01

  Did you do Moves Like Jagger?

• 8:45Speaker 02

  I did.

• 8:46Speaker 01

  Okay, so I have really bad OCD, and one time I heard that song, and I had really bad luck for the rest of the day. I haven't listened to it since.

• 8:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, I did that too. You know, I have, do you know I have insane OCD?

• 8:57Speaker 01

  What's your OCD?

• 8:58Speaker 02

  Oh my god, it's insane.

• 8:59Speaker 01

  Mine's really bad too.

• 9:00Speaker 02

  Okay, tell me some of your stuff, and I'll tell you some of mine.

• 9:02Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 9:02Speaker 02

  Mine are insane. I also have tics too, do you?

• 9:05Speaker 01

  I, a little, yeah. I used to, um,

• 9:07Speaker 02

  Oh my god, mine.

• 9:07Speaker 01

  I used to cluck.

• 9:09Speaker 02

  Okay, what's cluck?

• 9:10Speaker 01

  Like, I would count to two, and when I would count to two, like, I would have to like cluck my mouth.

• 9:14Speaker 02

  Show me.

• 9:15Speaker 01

  I can't, I'll.

• 9:17Speaker 02

  You'll start doing it again?

• 9:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:19Speaker 02

  Okay, don't do it, don't do it.

• 9:19Speaker 01

  Should I?

• 9:20Speaker 02

  You can. Let me see.

• 9:21Speaker 01

  Okay, so like, this is like exposure therapy.

• 9:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 9:25Speaker 01

  So I would go like.

• 9:27Speaker 02

  Oh, that one's not bad. I thought you were gonna be like, "Ah!"

• 9:28Speaker 01

  No. I would do it again and again and again. And then I would look in the mirror 10 times before going to bed. I would have to smile.

• 9:36Speaker 02

  That's just because you're vain, though. That's not because you're...

• 9:38Speaker 01

  No, I know, but I would have to go like... And I would have to smile. I would have to end it on a smile.

• 9:42Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 9:43Speaker 01

  Um, I used to not be able to add songs to a playlist. I would have to add, remove, add, remove, add, remove, add, remove four times.

• 9:48Speaker 02

  How'd you get it on? Oh, after four, you could do it. Okay.

• 9:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:50Speaker 02

  Okay, what else?

• 9:52Speaker 01

  Hmm... I used to pray every time I cursed. I'm Jewish, so that was really random.

• 9:57Speaker 02

  Okay, I used to pray. What type of prayer?

• 9:59Speaker 01

  I would go, um, like... Every time I cursed.

• 10:02Speaker 02

  But what would you say?

• 10:03Speaker 01

  Like, I would mumble. Like, I would speak in tongue.

• 10:05Speaker 02

  Okay, okay.

• 10:05Speaker 01

  And then, like, I...

• 10:07Speaker 02

  Just know Hebrew or anything.

• 10:08Speaker 01

  It was Christian. Like, I would literally go Christian.

• 10:11Speaker 02

  That's fire. I love that. So, so you wanna know some of mine?

• 10:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:14Speaker 02

  Okay, okay. So, and I still have some of them.

• 10:17Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 10:17Speaker 02

  So, okay. First, we'll go to like my old ones that were insane.

• 10:21Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 10:21Speaker 02

  Like, when I was a kid, I used to have this thing, kinda like yours, where I had to go like this. I had to go...

• 10:29Speaker 01

  Wait, I used to do that?

• 10:30Speaker 02

  Yeah. I had to do it in class, and if I didn't do it, my parents were gonna die.

• 10:33Speaker 01

  Oh, okay.

• 10:35Speaker 02

  And I would be like, and I would go like this. I'd be like, I'd be like, "Fuck, okay, try to last 10 seconds." And I'd be like, "10, 9, no, I can't." And I'd be like, dude, and then like, and then I would, I would have this thing where, for some reason, I would have to go, and we use it for Dave, actually. Um, for some reason, I had this thing where I would always have to go like, like, all the time. I have no idea why. I don't do that one anymore. But I still do a thing, and you'll notice, I do like two or three things that I still can't get rid of.

• 11:05Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 11:05Speaker 02

  Like, there's like four. Where I go like, like, a million times a day. Like, I'm just going like this. Like, I'm like...

• 11:12Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 11:13Speaker 02

  Doing, like, if you notice in this interview, I'll do it a million times.

• 11:16Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 11:16Speaker 02

  Then I have one where I go, where I go... I'm like, I'm like, I can't even do it. You'll hear it.

• 11:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:23Speaker 02

  But I'm like, I'm like, I can't, it's like a little, like, faint cough. And I have no idea. It's involuntary. I do it like 400 times a day, maybe more.

• 11:31Speaker 01

  Do people get annoyed? People used to get...

• 11:32Speaker 02

  They don't notice, people don't notice them until I tell them. Most of these, like...

• 11:37Speaker 01

  Oh, okay. Well, everyone noticed my clucking.

• 11:39Speaker 02

  Yeah. Oh, really?

• 11:40Speaker 01

  Everyone was like, "Stop fucking clucking."

• 11:42Speaker 02

  Maybe people do, and now I'm just like...

• 11:44Speaker 01

  No, they would tell you.

• 11:45Speaker 02

  I have like a better job now, so like, people don't care. And then, I, I used to have one where, um...

• 11:55Speaker 02

  Oh, I still have this one. I can't even do it. It's so hard for me to do. But like, I do this thing when I walk where I'm like, and like, my arm like, I have to like, stretch it out. I don't even, I don't even know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. It's insane.

• 12:08Speaker 01

  Is it still superstitious? Like, do you still have to do it? Cause like, bad things will happen?

• 12:13Speaker 02

  Not those. Those are involuntary.

• 12:15Speaker 01

  Oh, wow. Okay.

• 12:16Speaker 02

  Fully involuntary. And if I notice them, I can like, stop it for a second, but they're kinda like involuntary. And like, the nose stuff like this, like, you'll see me do it like, a million times. Literally when we're shooting, uh, shows or like, videos and stuff, that's the hardest thing for me. Above the acting and everything, is holding it back long enough for the takes.

• 12:36Speaker 01

  And then you have to go do it?

• 12:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, and then I do it immediately. Sometimes I do it in takes, and they have to like, see? And they have to, um, they have to take it at, like, they have to like, do another take. They're like, like, Dave's like, Ben. He's like, Benny, you're like, you, you, you gotta stop touching your face.

• 12:52Speaker 01

  No, but that's what makes you you.

• 12:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, and I can do it like, for a little, like, when I go up and I like, do like, an inter, like, if I do, like, I can't stop if I'm in like, a podcast, cause it'd be like, insane. Like, I just have to do it. Like, I'm gonna do it right now. Like, it's like, you'll see, I'm gonna do it so much. And, and-

• 13:11Speaker 01

  I get it. I get it. I used to touch things evenly, like, I used-

• 13:15Speaker 02

  Oh my god, my, I have to like, like, I'm better now. Like, I had to be like, living with like, girlfriends as I got older. Like, the old me would have stood up while we're talking, just not say it, and turn your Celsius towards me. Like, that's what I would have done. Like, yeah, and now it's like, off, and it's not centered, like, in the thing. And that's what I would have done. But now I don't have that anymore.

• 13:37Speaker 01

  Right. Are you on meds?

• 13:39Speaker 02

  No, I just like-

• 13:40Speaker 01

  You just got rid of it?

• 13:41Speaker 02

  I got rid of like, all the things that are really annoying to another person. Like, I got rid of like, all of those things, cause I was like, I can't live like this.

• 13:49Speaker 01

  Right.

• 13:49Speaker 02

  Like, and I still do little things, like, in my, if you go into my, like, shower, like, everything is facing forward and stuff.

• 13:56Speaker 01

  Totally.

• 13:56Speaker 02

  I think that's insane. Regardless of OCD, I think that's insane. When you go to like, a person's thing, and like, the cap is like, off, things are like, this in the shower. Like, that's crazy, right?

• 14:06Speaker 01

  I agree. I agree.

• 14:07Speaker 02

  That's fucking, that's not even OCD. You're like, a serial killer.

• 14:09Speaker 01

  No, I agree.

• 14:10Speaker 02

  Are yours like that? Yeah, you're fucking insane?

• 14:12Speaker 01

  That's-

• 14:13Speaker 02

  What's your name again? Manny? Anyone? Are you dating anyone now? Manny's not dating anyone and I think that's the reason why. I'm almost positive that might be the reason. Are you dating someone? No. Do you keep them straight? Very, very straight. I don't know, maybe you're just, maybe you're just defective, no. Do you keep yours straight?

• 14:33Speaker 01

  Like, no.

• 14:34Speaker 02

  Are you dating anyone?

• 14:35Speaker 01

  Like, I'm seeing multiple people.

• 14:36Speaker 02

  Oh, you're like, cool.

• 14:37Speaker 01

  No, I'm just like having my summer.

• 14:39Speaker 02

  Okay, okay, you're seeing multiple people. And then, when do you decide, when do you like hone in on someone?

• 14:45Speaker 01

  Well, there's one that actually likes me, and then there's one that literally wants nothing to do with me.

• 14:49Speaker 02

  Most of them hate you and you like the ones kind of that hate you more. Yeah, of course, duh.

• 14:53Speaker 01

  I can't control it.

• 14:54Speaker 02

  No, it's because you're so young.

• 14:56Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 14:56Speaker 02

  It is. It like, you start to figure out your shit. Like, later, later in life, you really figure out your shit. Like, it took me so long to really figure out my shit.

• 15:05Speaker 01

  How, like, when did you feel like you figured out your shit?

• 15:09Speaker 02

  When I was, like, 34.

• 15:13Speaker 01

  What?

• 15:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, like, 34 is when I really-

• 15:15Speaker 01

  Was there like an event that caused you to like?

• 15:17Speaker 02

  I literally was sitting in my house, and I was like,

• 15:25Speaker 02

  "I can't be like one of these celebrities that's like 40 or 50 and like at the club. Like, that's crazy." I was literally thinking that right. I was like, "I can't be one of the..." And we all know, like, in your head, they just popped into your head. Like, you know three of them off the top of your-

• 15:38Speaker 01

  Should we one, two, three and bleep that?

• 15:39Speaker 02

  Yeah. One, two, three.

• 15:44Speaker 02

  Okay, I can do three more, but I, but I'm not even gonna do it.

• 15:47Speaker 01

  Should we one more, eh?

• 15:48Speaker 02

  I don't know if we're gonna do it, so I don't want to fuck it up. Do you think we will?

• 15:51Speaker 01

  I think we will.

• 15:52Speaker 02

  Is it a musician?

• 15:53Speaker 01

  No.

• 15:54Speaker 02

  Oh, who was your, I think I know who your second one is.

• 15:56Speaker 01

  One, two, three.

• 15:59Speaker 02

  That's crazy. That's crazy. That's insane. I knew it. I don't want to go for a third.

• 16:03Speaker 01

  I don't want to go for three, I'm happy with two.

• 16:04Speaker 02

  Wow, are we like siblings?

• 16:06Speaker 01

  We're like simpatico.

• 16:08Speaker 02

  That was crazy.

• 16:09Speaker 01

  I knew we would get it. I knew. Once you said musician, I was like, ooh. And then you said, wait, I think I know, and I was like, I know you know.

• 16:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, and there's two musicians I think you're thinking of, but we're not even gonna do it.

• 16:18Speaker 01

  I don't think I'm thinking of them.

• 16:19Speaker 02

  Okay, I don't want to do it then. I don't want to do it. Um, please. Um, that's insane. That's so cool. So I was like, I was like, it was like a mixture of that, and it was, I always wanted to find, like, my person. I always wanted to find my person. I've always been like a relationship guy. And like, obviously, when I'm single, I've had like my summer, you know, even if it's winter. And, and I-

• 16:47Speaker 02

  I was sitting there and I was like, I want like my other half, like I want to find like an equal and someone who like fucking inspires the shit out of me.

• 16:56Speaker 01

  Right.

• 16:57Speaker 02

  And I remember I like talked to my therapist and I was like, what do I do? And he was like, you gotta make a list. He's like, you have to make a list.

• 17:06Speaker 01

  A list?

• 17:06Speaker 02

  Yeah. The first thing he said is, he said, you have to cut off every other person in your life. There is no like dating around. You're cutting everyone off.

• 17:14Speaker 01

  What?

• 17:14Speaker 02

  That you know is bad for you.

• 17:16Speaker 01

  But how do you know if they're bad for you?

• 17:17Speaker 02

  You know.

• 17:18Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 17:18Speaker 02

  You know what's bad for you.

• 17:19Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 17:19Speaker 02

  You know what's bad for you and you know what's right for you and you're thinking about what's bad for you, but you don't want to cut it off. Yeah. Because you're 26, 25.

• 17:26Speaker 01

  I'm seeing him tonight.

• 17:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're 25. It doesn't matter. Nothing matters for the next 10 years.

• 17:31Speaker 01

  Right.

• 17:31Speaker 02

  Like, nothing you do matters at all. You can do anything you want.

• 17:34Speaker 01

  What do you mean? Are you serious? That's the best news I've ever heard.

• 17:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, cuz it's like, nothing matters. Nothing matters until you're like, nobody cares about what you're doing in your life till you're like 30. When you're 30, they're like, hey, what are you doing? Like, what? But when you're like 28 and you're like, yeah, you're like, I just live on like a bender and I was like that. And everyone's like, oh, yeah, you're 28, cool.

• 17:51Speaker 01

  Ooh, okay, okay, okay.

• 17:52Speaker 02

  And then you're 29 and they're like, hey, you should like start thinking about it. And then you're 30 and they're like, whoa. Like, honestly, 29th, 30th birthday, your life just changes and everyone's like, you're disgusting.

• 18:03Speaker 01

  What?

• 18:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, basically.

• 18:05Speaker 01

  Are you serious? I had someone sit here and tell me that the 30s are the best years of your life.

• 18:08Speaker 02

  No, they are the best years. But like, you have to like pull your life together. But you have so much longer.

• 18:14Speaker 01

  Five years.

• 18:15Speaker 02

  I thought you were 27. You're 25.

• 18:17Speaker 01

  I can't believe you thought I was 27.

• 18:18Speaker 02

  I don't know, you're just very mature.

• 18:20Speaker 01

  Oh, thank you.

• 18:21Speaker 02

  Gotcha.

• 18:22Speaker 01

  Gotcha!

• 18:23Speaker 02

  Okay. So then I made a list and I had all these things on my list. And they're the most simple, dumb things, but they're just true. Like, I needed someone, for me, it was like age appropriate.

• 18:35Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 18:36Speaker 02

  Okay? And I was like, 30 and above, no one lower.

• 18:39Speaker 01

  Got it.

• 18:39Speaker 02

  Like, no one low. Like, even if they're like a mature 28-year-old, no. Has to be 30 and above. And that was like my hard thing.

• 18:45Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 18:45Speaker 02

  And then I wanted someone who was...

• 18:49Speaker 02

  Kind, I know it's so crazy because it's so hard to find. Like you're like thinking about the bad one. They're not even kind. The bad one's not even kind to you.

• 18:57Speaker 01

  Right.

• 18:57Speaker 02

  They're like, they like give you one crumb of something nice and you're like, really?

• 19:01Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 19:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, like, like, okay. Kind, caring, caring, like it's like yours is like barely caring.

• 19:08Speaker 01

  I don't think mine knows my last name.

• 19:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:11Speaker 02

  They're just like, they're like never opening up a door for you or like being like, no. I wanted someone, I wanted someone who like was interested in something, like had their own thing. I don't care if they like, i- i- if they like fucking, you know, made carpets. Like, I want them to be like, this is all I do. I make a carpet every day and I care about it and I make zero dollars. I don't care what it is. I just wanted them to be interested and passionate about something in their life, like working towards a goal.

• 19:40Speaker 01

  Right.

• 19:41Speaker 02

  You know, not just like being like.

• 19:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 19:46Speaker 02

  And, and, and I wanted someone, I wanted someone who woke up like, I wake up and I'm happy. Like I wake up happy.

• 19:54Speaker 01

  Fuck.

• 19:55Speaker 02

  I know. Do you wake up sad?

• 19:56Speaker 01

  I wake up angry.

• 19:58Speaker 02

  Tell me.

• 19:59Speaker 01

  Well, today I woke up and I was so excited that you were coming and I had a workout planned. And so I woke up really happy today.

• 20:05Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 20:06Speaker 01

  But like most of the time, in college, I used to wake up going like this every morning.

• 20:10Speaker 02

  Really?

• 20:10Speaker 01

  Every single morning.

• 20:11Speaker 02

  Why?

• 20:12Speaker 01

  I don't know. I was like, I can't believe I have to live another day.

• 20:14Speaker 02

  No.

• 20:16Speaker 01

  I know.

• 20:17Speaker 02

  But you're so cute.

• 20:18Speaker 01

  I know.

• 20:18Speaker 02

  Okay, why, why?

• 20:19Speaker 01

  I was just like, no, I was just like, oh, I like loved.

• 20:23Speaker 02

  Or were you just like being dramatic?

• 20:24Speaker 01

  Oh my God, I can't believe I have to like go through the motions of today.

• 20:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're like, you're like too big for life.

• 20:30Speaker 01

  No, it was, it was, it was just like, I'm like, I know I'm gonna be anxious and like, I just can't be bothered.

• 20:35Speaker 02

  And how do you feel now? Are you like, not now, but like in life now, are you like falling into it a little more?

• 20:41Speaker 01

  A little. I have periods where I'm like, I'm so with it, I'm so in it. And then I have periods where I'm like, what the fuck do I do?

• 20:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, but everyone has that.

• 20:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:49Speaker 02

  Just so you're aware, that never goes away.

• 20:50Speaker 01

  Okay, cool.

• 20:51Speaker 02

  Like I wake up, I wake up and I'm like happy in the day, but like sometimes I'm just like, what am I doing? Like, why am I, what?

• 20:58Speaker 01

  You, I feel like you have such a clear cut.

• 21:00Speaker 02

  No, I know I have like a sense of self, but like every single person, like anybody is lying if they, if they're, if they're not saying that. Like, of course it's sometimes you're just like, like, I'll tell you this. Every musician has this same thing where I'll have.

• 21:16Speaker 02

  The biggest song in the world, like the actual biggest song in the world. And I'm like, oh, I'm never gonna be able to do this again. Like, this is never gonna happen again. Right. Like, it's never, it'll, I'll never, like, get another, like, song that people care about again. And it's always, like, when they're, like, celebrating how good you're doing. Right. Or, like, you win a Grammy and they're like, oh, that's never happening again. Right. Yeah, it's just like- It's impending June. Yeah. Yeah. Dune? June. Well, it's Dune. It's Dune. I've actually never seen that movie. Neither have I. Okay, okay. Do you wanna watch together? Is it good? I've heard. It is good?

• 21:48Speaker 03

  The second one's good.

• 21:49Speaker 02

  Okay. I haven't seen, like, I'm like, I'm such a bad pop culture person. It's crazy, cuz you're very involved in pop culture. I also never look at any interview I do, and I never look at any, like, photos I do or anything. Like, so, like, after we do this, if there, I don't even know if there's an approval process. But if there is, my manager looks at it, and then I say, hey, did I say anything stupid? And he might be like, yeah, maybe this thing, what do you think? And then I'll be like, oh, okay. I never look at it. The only time I'll ever see it is if my mom sends me a clip. Because my mother is TMZ. So my mo- Really? Yeah, yeah, my mother's full TMZ.

• 22:31Speaker 02

  She's like, oh, my god, I didn't know you, you, like, broke up with Selena and, like, murdered sixteen people. And I'm like, what? And she's like, that's what it said today on TV. And I'm like, what? Like, yeah, like- She's, she's, she's a Jewish mom. My mother is full blown, and she says, like, the, like, so, like, whatever is the thing that, like, could make you feel like the worst at the time. And then she's like, what, honey? Like, and I'm like, like, she actually, she's like, she literally called me, and she's like, she's like, you know, every time I open people, there's another thing about you, and I don't know if it's true, I don't know if it's false, I don't- Because you don't talk to me. Yeah. I talk to my mom so much. Really? And my mom, yeah, I talk to my mom so much, and she'll be like, we never talk!

• 23:15Speaker 02

  And I'm like, I'm like, mom, I spoke to you fifteen minutes ago. Right. Like, if I went, if I, like, didn't speak to my mother for, like, a day and a half, there would be, like, actual, like, search parties. There would be, like, like SWAT would be, like, breaking through the ceiling right now and just, like, grabbing me and taking me away. And, like- I I talked to like some of my friends. And I'll be like, oh, you talk to your mom a lot? And they're like, yeah, yeah, we do talk. And I'm like, oh, how often? They're like, oh, I talked to her like a month ago. I'm like, a month?

• 23:41Speaker 01

  A month, that's crazy.

• 23:42Speaker 02

  How often do you talk to your mom?

• 23:43Speaker 01

  Once every few days.

• 23:44Speaker 02

  What about your dad?

• 23:45Speaker 01

  Every day.

• 23:46Speaker 02

  Oh, really?

• 23:47Speaker 01

  Every, well, my dad texts me every single day, texts me every single night, good night, love you.

• 23:51Speaker 02

  Oh, really?

• 23:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:53Speaker 02

  Oh, wow.

• 23:53Speaker 01

  And or he'll text me, you good?

• 23:55Speaker 02

  I don't, I don't talk, you good?

• 23:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, like, can you give me my phone? I need to read you some of my texts with my dad, because sometimes I just don't respond.

• 24:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, my dad's, my dad, my, me, I don't, we don't text a lot.

• 24:06Speaker 01

  Really?

• 24:06Speaker 02

  No, no, no, maybe once.

• 24:08Speaker 01

  Bless you.

• 24:09Speaker 02

  Once every few months or so.

• 24:10Speaker 01

  Once, oh, wow.

• 24:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:11Speaker 01

  So like, these are like some examples of texts with my dad.

• 24:14Speaker 02

  My mom could send me 300 texts in a row without me answering. And then the second I answer, there's no like, there's no like, where have you been? Like, she just keeps going. My mom sends like articles and that.

• 24:24Speaker 01

  Today's show was great, love you. You good? You OK?

• 24:29Speaker 02

  How come you're not answering?

• 24:30Speaker 01

  Because I was busy, I called him.

• 24:32Speaker 02

  Are you really busy?

• 24:33Speaker 01

  I just like, I'm really bad at my phone. You're good at your phone.

• 24:36Speaker 02

  I'm so bad at my phone.

• 24:38Speaker 01

  Oh, OK, never mind, just maybe with me?

• 24:40Speaker 02

  No, it just happened, what are you talking about? I just looked at the thing, I felt bad because I never answered you.

• 24:45Speaker 01

  Oh, OK, well, that was the first text, and I thought you thought it was a fake number.

• 24:48Speaker 02

  I actually haven't saved your number. Let me, let me do it right now.

• 24:52Speaker 01

  OK, I saved your number really quick.

• 24:53Speaker 02

  I'm gonna do it right now. Watch, where? This one's your.

• 24:58Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 24:59Speaker 02

  OK, I'm back.

• 25:02Speaker 02

  Um, have you ever been in a relationship?

• 25:04Speaker 01

  Never.

• 25:05Speaker 02

  Really?

• 25:06Speaker 01

  Never, and I talk about it at least once an episode.

• 25:08Speaker 02

  Why, why haven't you been in one?

• 25:10Speaker 01

  I, you know, I was actually speaking about this last night. I have never been on more than three dates with someone.

• 25:16Speaker 02

  When did you know you were gay?

• 25:20Speaker 01

  I was actually also thinking about that today, when I was 10.

• 25:23Speaker 02

  But when were you like? See, because like, where we grew up, like, my friends who were gay, um, like, said they would like, they were like, trying to be straight, and they'd be like, watch porn, but then they would be like, wait, the part where like, the dude is so tight. And they wouldn't watch, they wouldn't watch gay porn, because they were like, that's like, too crazy.

• 25:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, I graduated to gay porn.

• 25:43Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, who's your gay awakening?

• 25:45Speaker 01

  I think it was James from Big Time Rush.

• 25:47Speaker 02

  I don't know who they are.

• 25:49Speaker 01

  You know who Big Time Rush is?

• 25:49Speaker 02

  No, I don't. But I don't think that's crazy, I've never even heard the name Big Time Rush.

• 25:55Speaker 02

  No, have you?

• 25:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:57Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 25:57Speaker 04

  It's like Nickelodeon.

• 25:58Speaker 02

  Oh, okay. But I didn't know who the Jonas Brothers were until Sucker. Benny. Are you kidding? Like, I'd heard the name. I'd never heard a Jonas Brothers song until Sucker. You didn't hear SOS? I'd never heard that song in my life. You're 3000? Don't know that song. Nothing. I'm older. But you're in music. Yeah, but I'm older than you. Like, those, that wasn't big. Like, I had never seen Selena's show until we started dating, and then we were, we- Wizards or Only Murders? Wizards. Got it. I'd never seen Wizards. I knew she was like a kid star, but I had never seen any of it, and we were going, she, she was like going to be on the reboot of it. And I was like, hey, can I see your show before we go to the reboot? So like, I know what it is. And she was like, what?

• 26:42Speaker 02

  And she was like, I guess. And then like, we, and then we watched the first episode, and I was like, this is so cute. And then she was like, wait, let me show you just like one more good scene. Oh. And she showed me one, she was like- It really is the best show ever. And she showed me a few good scenes, and I was like, okay, I get it. No, it's, also the theme song is iconic. Yeah, of course. Well, you would've- No, no, I know the theme song because "That Inspired Bad Guy" by Billie Eilish. Did it really?

• 27:07Speaker 02

  Yeah. Have you ever worked with Billie Eilish? I have. I worked with her when she was like legit, like 14 years old or something. Did the song ever see the light of day? No, no, no. She, I, we had, we have the same lawyer, or we, or we did have the same lawyer or whatever. And he was like, there's this kid, Phineas, who's really good, and he, and he works with his little sister, and, you know, we rep them, and we think like they could be something.

• 27:42Speaker 02

  And then they had just signed, they'd just signed to Interscope after that, and then I was like, oh, I really like this song, and, and they hadn't ever played a concert or anything, and they were like, oh, come over. And I invited them over to work at my house like before like anything. And then literally like a week or so later, we went to their first concert ever at, I think it was at the Echo or something.

• 28:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:11Speaker 02

  And there was like a hundred kids there and like half of them were from the label. And then I went to her second, I think her second show was at um, the El Rey.

• 28:21Speaker 01

  Uh huh, yeah.

• 28:22Speaker 02

  I went to like her first like eight shows and um, yeah, and just saw it all happen from the beginning. And they do, they don't, they don't need my help at all. They do like everything their own and it's like fucking incredible. And uh, they always do everything, just the two of them.

• 28:40Speaker 01

  Right.

• 28:40Speaker 02

  And, and it was fun to just work and see how they work. And obviously me and Phineas have made like a million songs for other people and stuff. And Phineas is incredible. Has he been on the pod?

• 28:50Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 28:51Speaker 02

  Oh, he's, he's so sweet.

• 28:52Speaker 01

  Yes, he has been on the pod.

• 28:54Speaker 02

  He's the best. He's so funny.

• 28:54Speaker 01

  He's awesome.

• 28:55Speaker 02

  He's so funny. Has Billy been on?

• 28:56Speaker 01

  No, I wish.

• 28:59Speaker 02

  Billy, what are you doing?

• 29:00Speaker 01

  Probably touring.

• 29:01Speaker 02

  Get on Therapuce. I know the name now.

• 29:04Speaker 01

  I know.

• 29:08Speaker 02

  I have so many uh, guys for you, like.

• 29:11Speaker 01

  Wait, do you really?

• 29:12Speaker 02

  So many. It's insane.

• 29:15Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 29:16Speaker 02

  We can, we'll sidebar this after.

• 29:18Speaker 01

  But I'm like not gonna like let go of this.

• 29:20Speaker 02

  No, no, no. I have like so many great guys. Are you like good in a rela-, you've never even been in a relationship?

• 29:25Speaker 01

  I've never been. I don't know.

• 29:26Speaker 02

  You don't even know?

• 29:26Speaker 01

  I don't even know.

• 29:27Speaker 02

  Are you just like a piece of shit in a relationship?

• 29:30Speaker 01

  Probably.

• 29:30Speaker 02

  Really?

• 29:30Speaker 01

  I mean like, look, I really need to work on being less selfish.

• 29:33Speaker 02

  I was just gonna say, are you self-, are you selfish?

• 29:36Speaker 01

  Like you wouldn't believe.

• 29:37Speaker 02

  Really?

• 29:37Speaker 01

  Peyton has, my best friend, my roommate Peyton has told me the same thing over and over again for two weeks. I literally acted like yesterday was the first time I ever heard it.

• 29:44Speaker 02

  Really?

• 29:45Speaker 01

  I didn't know.

• 29:46Speaker 02

  What are your positive?

• 29:48Speaker 01

  Attributes? I would say that I'm clever. I would say that I am passionate.

• 29:58Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 29:59Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 30:00Speaker 04

  I think you're incredibly generous.

• 30:02Speaker 01

  Oh my god, I've never heard that before.

• 30:05Speaker 04

  I really do. I was literally just going to say that.

• 30:08Speaker 01

  And that's two for two. I guess I'm generous. Just.

• 30:11Speaker 02

  Generous. Okay, so you're generous and you're clever. Okay, what are you looking for?

• 30:18Speaker 01

  Someone.

• 30:19Speaker 02

  Just like anyone with a heartbeat.

• 30:21Speaker 01

  Kind of, and I'm like, you know, I'd like them to have like a steady job.

• 30:25Speaker 02

  Like a heartbeat and a throbbing weener.

• 30:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:27Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 30:28Speaker 01

  A top, like someone who will.

• 30:30Speaker 02

  Are you verse?

• 30:31Speaker 01

  No, I'm five three, so.

• 30:33Speaker 02

  Okay, perfect.

• 30:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:34Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 30:35Speaker 01

  So.

• 30:36Speaker 02

  We can, we can work on that.

• 30:37Speaker 01

  Is he a top?

• 30:37Speaker 02

  You have to be verse though now.

• 30:39Speaker 01

  What? What is he verse, that guy that you showed me?

• 30:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:42Speaker 01

  Fuck.

• 30:43Speaker 02

  Everyone is in two, it's two thousand, what year is it?

• 30:45Speaker 01

  Twenty five.

• 30:46Speaker 02

  Two thousand twenty five. You know, I never know the year ever. I'm always like one or two wrong. It's always like, is it twenty four, is it twenty six?

• 30:53Speaker 01

  Have you ever gotten that wrong, like publicly?

• 30:55Speaker 02

  I mean, when, no, I just get it wrong like once a year when you have to like write off like a physical or something.

• 31:01Speaker 01

  Did you go to college?

• 31:02Speaker 02

  No.

• 31:02Speaker 01

  Do you go to high school?

• 31:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, like, yeah.

• 31:05Speaker 01

  Do you graduate high school?

• 31:07Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 31:08Speaker 01

  Okay, and then you just moved out to LA?

• 31:10Speaker 02

  No, I lived in New York for years.

• 31:12Speaker 01

  Uh huh. Where?

• 31:14Speaker 02

  All over, everywhere.

• 31:16Speaker 01

  Like where?

• 31:17Speaker 02

  Brooklyn Heights, Bed-Stuy, Williamsburg, Chelsea, West Village, everywhere.

• 31:24Speaker 01

  What was like the first person you worked with that was like, uh, like successful?

• 31:29Speaker 02

  Like the first like person like that would be successful, like in your world, in your, in your world?

• 31:34Speaker 01

  No, anything.

• 31:35Speaker 02

  Well, like rappers.

• 31:36Speaker 01

  I know a lot about music.

• 31:37Speaker 02

  Weird old rappers, but like the first like big pop thing that I ever worked on was Britney Spears.

• 31:42Speaker 01

  What?

• 31:43Speaker 02

  Do you know sometimes I am in a restaurant and I'm like, oh my God, this song's so good, and I Shazam it, and then it's my own song.

• 31:52Speaker 01

  How do you not know?

• 31:53Speaker 02

  Cause I'm old and I've done, I can't remember anything, and I've done like hundreds of songs that have come out.

• 32:00Speaker 01

  That's crazy.

• 32:02Speaker 02

  I've been making songs for like sixteen years.

• 32:05Speaker 01

  I, yeah, I guess you're right.

• 32:07Speaker 02

  And I'm, and I'm old. Do you remember every single podcast, every word you said on?

• 32:11Speaker 01

  Well, not every word, but like, I guess, I guess you have a point.

• 32:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's like, it's like, if you're, let's say you're on your like 16th season of your podcast.

• 32:21Speaker 01

  Right.

• 32:21Speaker 02

  And someone's like, "Did you interview like Chelsea Handler?" And you're like, "I think so."

• 32:25Speaker 01

  Oh, I guess you're right.

• 32:26Speaker 02

  You know what I'm saying? Like you've, how many seasons is this?

• 32:29Speaker 01

  Two. It's my second season.

• 32:30Speaker 02

  It's your second season? Wow. And everyone's talking about the pod.

• 32:34Speaker 01

  Really?

• 32:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:35Speaker 01

  Are you serious?

• 32:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:36Speaker 01

  You know I make music.

• 32:37Speaker 02

  You do?

• 32:38Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. I have an album.

• 32:40Speaker 02

  Is it good or no?

• 32:40Speaker 01

  It's called Puss in Poems.

• 32:42Speaker 02

  Okay, is it terrible?

• 32:43Speaker 01

  No, it's really good. You know Alexander 23?

• 32:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:46Speaker 01

  He produced it.

• 32:46Speaker 02

  Should we do a song for your album?

• 32:49Speaker 01

  Benny, don't play with me.

• 32:50Speaker 02

  Would it be crazy? What do you, do you sing on it?

• 32:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 32:53Speaker 02

  Is it good?

• 32:54Speaker 01

  It's fairly awesome.

• 32:57Speaker 02

  What do you guys think? Good? Should I play it?

• 32:59Speaker 01

  No, hold on, hold on. So I'm gonna read you the tracklist. I'm gonna read you the tracklist and you can tell me which one you wanna hear, okay?

• 33:05Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 33:06Speaker 01

  Okay, so it's called Puss in Poems, the album.

• 33:08Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 33:09Speaker 01

  Denim on denim. Pharmacist. The hangover song. Postmates. JetBlue. Therapist theme song.

• 33:20Speaker 02

  Oh, it's a tie between three. Denim on denim, postmates, and therapist theme song.

• 33:25Speaker 01

  Okay, so therapist theme song is the one I had like my least fingers in, cuz like that was Alexander's, like.

• 33:30Speaker 02

  Okay, let's not do, let's not do that.

• 33:31Speaker 01

  So, it was, what were the denim on denim or?

• 33:34Speaker 02

  Or postmates.

• 33:35Speaker 01

  Okay, so I'm gonna give you the rundown. Denim on denim is like a country pop vibe about a bad date I went on.

• 33:40Speaker 02

  Play it.

• 33:41Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 33:42Speaker 02

  Is this your most successful song? Okay.

• 33:45Speaker 01

  But it's.

• 33:46Speaker 04

  Postmates is a ballad.

• 33:47Speaker 01

  Postmates is a ballad.

• 33:48Speaker 02

  Okay, I wanna hear denim on denim.

• 33:50Speaker 01

  Postmates is really good.

• 34:08Speaker 01

  Okay, do you wanna hear postmates now?

• 34:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, play me postmates.

• 34:21Speaker 03

  Imagine my stop, when I looked at my phone And I looked at the clock, you were so far from home Driver, oh driver, why'd you do what you do? My stomach is screaming, this poem is for you To the one who stole my Postmates Was the bite worth the thrill? To the one who stole my bud's taste Was the rush worth the kill?

• 35:11Speaker 02

  How much longer?

• 35:15Speaker 02

  You wanna fast forward to it? Okay.

• 36:09Speaker 03

  But you lost the guy.

• 36:28Speaker 01

  So that's Postmates.

• 36:29Speaker 02

  I like that one.

• 36:30Speaker 01

  It's good, right?

• 36:31Speaker 02

  I like that we're seeing each other.

• 36:32Speaker 01

  I know. So do you hate my album, or?

• 36:35Speaker 02

  Oh, no, I, I, I actually really think it's very cute.

• 36:39Speaker 01

  Okay. Well, you know, I do have a Christmas song as well, even though I'm Jewish.

• 36:43Speaker 02

  You do?

• 36:43Speaker 01

  It's called Santa, Can You Pay For Me? I Forgot My Card.

• 36:47Speaker 01

  I haven't released it yet, though. I'm finishing it up next week in the studio.

• 36:49Speaker 02

  With who?

• 36:50Speaker 01

  Alexander.

• 36:51Speaker 02

  Oh, he does exclusive all your music?

• 36:53Speaker 01

  Well, I, yeah.

• 36:55Speaker 02

  Would I be able to get in?

• 36:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, like, do you want to get involved?

• 36:57Speaker 02

  I'd like to get involved.

• 36:58Speaker 01

  Do you actually want to?

• 36:59Speaker 02

  I'm, I'm saying it.

• 37:01Speaker 01

  Okay, you around next week?

• 37:02Speaker 02

  No. But I'm around. Just automatically around next week?

• 37:08Speaker 01

  Okay, so do you actually want to make a song?

• 37:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:10Speaker 01

  Okay. What would you want to write about?

• 37:15Speaker 02

  OCD?

• 37:16Speaker 01

  Oh, I would love that.

• 37:17Speaker 02

  Maybe.

• 37:19Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 37:20Speaker 02

  You falling in love?

• 37:22Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 37:24Speaker 02

  You being selfish?

• 37:26Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 37:27Speaker 02

  Are you just gonna say okay?

• 37:28Speaker 01

  No, I, I agree, like, I, I, but it has to be like a niche situation to make it funny.

• 37:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course, we'll figure it out.

• 37:36Speaker 01

  Well, I mean, you're the master, I trust you.

• 37:38Speaker 02

  No, you're the master.

• 37:39Speaker 01

  Oh, okay. I, I guess.

• 37:41Speaker 02

  This is crazy. Okay, wait, so how many, so how many episodes have you done completely, like, totally?

• 37:46Speaker 01

  Like, without, that aren't out completely yet?

• 37:48Speaker 02

  No, no, no. Oh, are you like way ahead? How many ahead?

• 37:52Speaker 03

  Uh, nine.

• 37:54Speaker 02

  That's it?

• 37:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:57Speaker 03

  Two and a half months.

• 37:58Speaker 02

  What was like the closest where you were like, did you get someone like last minute or some?

• 38:02Speaker 01

  That's never, oh, the closest turnaround we've ever had is we did Tate, the first Tate McCray episode, she was my first guest ever. We did it on a Sunday and released it on the Wednesday. That's the closest turnaround we've ever had.

• 38:17Speaker 02

  And did you never, did you never even, like, how many did you start with? Like, did you have like a bunch in the can when you started or?

• 38:23Speaker 01

  No, like, we would just do it and nine.

• 38:25Speaker 02

  Do you do them every week?

• 38:27Speaker 01

  So, well, like, the other week I recorded five.

• 38:29Speaker 02

  No, like, how, uh, like, how, does one come out every week?

• 38:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, every Wednesday, 7:00 PM Pacific.

• 38:37Speaker 02

  How many, how long are you gonna do it for? Forever?

• 38:40Speaker 01

  I don't know, I wanna turn it into a late night talk show.

• 38:43Speaker 02

  That's really cool.

• 38:44Speaker 01

  Do you think that's cool?

• 38:45Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah, what do you wanna do? Like, what are the things, what do you wanna do?

• 38:48Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 38:49Speaker 02

  Give me your top things you wanna do in life.

• 38:51Speaker 01

  I wanna be an actor.

• 38:52Speaker 02

  Okay. Have you acted in things?

• 38:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, so I'm in a few scenes in the newest season of Hacks.

• 38:57Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 38:58Speaker 01

  And...

• 38:59Speaker 02

  Was that like, were you so stoked?

• 39:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was my favorite show.

• 39:03Speaker 02

  Okay, okay.

• 39:03Speaker 01

  So I was super excited about that. I'm actually finding out about a role today that I'm probably not gonna get. But, you know.

• 39:09Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 39:09Speaker 01

  You live and you learn. But yeah, I wanna be an actor. I wanna be a late night host and...

• 39:14Speaker 02

  So like, when you were a kid, were you like, "I just wanna be famous"?

• 39:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, yes.

• 39:18Speaker 02

  Really?

• 39:19Speaker 01

  Like, I knew, I would watch a bunch of reality television, and I was like, "I need that. Like, I need the paparazzi. Like, I need that."

• 39:24Speaker 02

  No.

• 39:24Speaker 01

  Yes. I was like 10. I was like, "That's amazing. I want that."

• 39:27Speaker 02

  It's the worst.

• 39:30Speaker 01

  I wouldn't know yet. So hopefully, I can also be like, "It's the worst." But like, I'm not there yet.

• 39:35Speaker 02

  I hate that stuff. Like, that's like, yeah.

• 39:38Speaker 01

  No, I know, but you've been at it for so long.

• 39:40Speaker 02

  Yeah. That's crazy.

• 39:42Speaker 01

  I know.

• 39:42Speaker 02

  Cause when we grew up, there wasn't, there was, like, there was, there wasn't social media when I grew up.

• 39:49Speaker 01

  Right.

• 39:50Speaker 02

  Like, when I grew up, there was no social media.

• 39:52Speaker 01

  MySpace?

• 39:54Speaker 02

  Uh, MySpace. That's how I got big.

• 39:56Speaker 01

  Really?

• 39:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, but MySpace didn't get big until I was like 13-ish, 14. Like, YouTube came out when I was a senior in high school.

• 40:05Speaker 01

  Whoa.

• 40:07Speaker 02

  Like, when, when, when your friends, like, no one had cell phones.

• 40:11Speaker 01

  No one?

• 40:12Speaker 02

  Like, literally, when I was a kid, you would, you'd be like, it'd be like, at school, you'd be like, "Yo, meet me at the park and we're gonna play basketball at like 7 p, at like 6 p.m."

• 40:24Speaker 01

  Right.

• 40:24Speaker 02

  And they'd be like, "Okay, cool." And then you'd go at 6 p.m. And then like, sometimes your friend wouldn't be there. And then you'd get home, and you couldn't call them because it was too late to call a house phone. So it would be like 8:30 or 9:00, and you can't call, it would be 9:00, and you can't call after 9:00. So then like, you'd have to wait until the next day. And then you'd see your friend the next day, and you'd be like, "Dude, why didn't you come and play basketball with me?" They were like, "Oh, my mom wouldn't let me." Like that, and like, you would just have to...

• 40:47Speaker 01

  That's it?

• 40:48Speaker 02

  Yeah. You would just have to like, wait. Oh my god.

• 40:51Speaker 01

  I track my friends.

• 40:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, there's no tracking.

• 40:53Speaker 01

  So like, I know when they've left their house to come meet me.

• 40:55Speaker 02

  There's no tracking.

• 40:59Speaker 01

  You guys, it is so hot this summer. It is so beyond hot. And you know the number one thing I hate is warmth. I hate, I hate it more than any, like, anything in the entire world. Because my thinking is you can always, if you're cold, you can always add more layers. If you are hot, like, what are you gonna do? Rip off your skin? That is why Cozy Earth makes cooling bamboo sheets for you, okay? And that is what I've been using to sleep in all summer. Whenever I am away from my bed, I miss my Cozy Earth bamboo sheets more than anything. They are the most comfortable, cooling, soft bedding I've ever experienced in my life. Also, like, I understand, like, I'm very dramatic. If you, if you don't, if you buy it and you don't like it, it's okay. They have an 100-night sleep trial.

• 41:44Speaker 01

  You can return it if you do not like it. It is a risk-free purchase. Also, a 10-year warranty on all bedding products. It's July, like, it's really, really hot out. It is not too late to change your bedding and make it cool. And like, like, you know what I mean? Like, you cannot control the climate. What you can control is your bedding and how you sleep. And that is why Cozy Earth bamboo sheets and other sleep products are necessary for a cool summer. And you guys, this is the biggest discount code I've ever given. July 11th to 13th, go to cozyleth.com and use code JAKE for 45% off your entire purchase. 45% off. That's almost 50% off, okay?

• 42:27Speaker 01

  That is a really big discount, okay? And I promise you, it is incredible. It is the most incredible bedding I've ever had, ever. And don't just take my word for it, take Louise's.

• 42:38Speaker 05

  So actually, I have Cozy Earth as well. And my roommate Sammy thought that I got new mattress toppers because of just how comfortable it was.

• 42:46Speaker 01

  Do you understand, like, a mattress topper, like, changes the game? So for someone to think that, like, the sheets are a new mattress topper is so insane. Reminder, July 11th to 13th, go to cozyleth.com and use code JAKE for 45% off your entire purchase. Thank you Cozy Earth for sponsoring tonight's episode.

• 43:08Speaker 02

  Like, when we used to have to, like, jerk off when we were a kid, like, like, like, how did, like, how did you do it when you were a kid? I would watch HBO sex scenes. Yeah, we didn't have that. Google, I don't even think Google existed. So how'd you jerk? We had, like, we had, like... Ask Jeeves was like a thing.

• 43:26Speaker 01

  What's that?

• 43:26Speaker 02

  It's like pre-Google. It's crazy.

• 43:29Speaker 01

  So, did you look up porn on there?

• 43:31Speaker 02

  Like, okay, we had 56K dial-up. Like, do you know what that is?

• 43:35Speaker 01

  I've heard of it.

• 43:36Speaker 02

  So, literally, it would be like this. If, if I was on

• 43:43Speaker 02

  the computer and my mother picked up the phone, it would kick me off the computer because they shared the same thing.

• 43:50Speaker 01

  How does that even work?

• 43:51Speaker 02

  It's, you would do it through your, like, and it would be like this. This is how you got on. It would be like

• 44:00Speaker 02

  That's like how you would get on the internet. And then you would like go to a website and it would be like a description. It would be like

• 44:10Speaker 02

  woman naked. And you'd be like, hmm. And then you'd be like, I guess I'll do that one. And you like, it was like woman naked forest. And you'd like press a button and it would be like, and it would be like this. It would be like this. Okay. It would go to another screen and it would take so long to go to that screen. And then we'd get to that screen and it'd be like

• 44:30Speaker 02

  And it would be like, you'd be like, and you'd be like trying to figure out what it is. And like finally, it would be like a woman naked and she'd be like

• 44:38Speaker 02

  jerking off to like one woman just naked. And you wouldn't even wait to the feet. You'd be like, fuck it. And then like, we, I, we used to print the pictures out and, and we'd print them out. And, and, and you'd like staple them till you like made like a, and are like, are, are, are, they were, they were so grainy by the time they got out. You'd be like, like you'd have to like squint to see it. And then all of a sudden, your, your, your computer would get, like, this was back when like viruses existed.

• 45:09Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 45:10Speaker 02

  Do you know?

• 45:10Speaker 01

  I know about viruses because one time I looked up gay porn and my mom and my dad had to pull me in and be like, you've given our computer a gay porn virus.

• 45:17Speaker 02

  They were like

• 45:18Speaker 01

  And are you gay?

• 45:19Speaker 02

  And you're like, what? No.

• 45:21Speaker 01

  Yes. And I think I had to, I think, and they were like, we're not mad about what you're looking at, but like, we have a virus from gay porn.

• 45:28Speaker 02

  Mad at what you're looking at, but you're gay.

• 45:31Speaker 01

  Yeah. And you have a gay porn and you gave us a gay porn virus.

• 45:33Speaker 02

  Yeah. Is it worse than a regular porn virus? Why did they have to say gay porn virus?

• 45:39Speaker 01

  They were just like, they were like, we know what you've been looking at. Did you ever get caught using dial-up to look at inappropriate?

• 45:48Speaker 02

  Not rea- like, we would, like, basically, I had like a window of like forty-five minutes before like my mother would get home. And I would actually full-speed run home to jerk off. Like, I would, I would run, full speed, like, into my house. And sometimes friends would come over, because I was the house where, like, you could jerk off at.

• 46:08Speaker 01

  What?

• 46:10Speaker 02

  So like, every, we'd like, print out pictures, and people would like, be in a different room, just like, like, jerking. I don't know, you're so horny when you're a kid, when you're like twelve.

• 46:19Speaker 01

  But you were like, let's, how would you even plan that? I feel like jerking off was such a private thing for me.

• 46:24Speaker 02

  Not for us.

• 46:25Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 46:26Speaker 02

  And then you'd be like, you'd, and I remember, like, back in the day, your computer could freeze, okay? And when it froze, it would like, like, it didn't just like, freeze where you're like, oh, just like, escape all, quit, or whatever. Control all, delete, like, it's not like that. Your computer would actually freeze, and it would just like, freeze, and you'd have to rip the cord out of the wall. Like, when my parents were coming home, I'd be like, oh my god, and I'd like, rip it out of the thing. And then, like, when you, when, like, so you would get these pop-up viruses, and it would be like, boop, and it would like, pop up.

• 47:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, I remember those.

• 47:03Speaker 02

  Gay porn, and it'd be like, boop, boop, and it'd be like, Jake's watching porn, and it's gay. And then, like, all of a sudden, you'd get like, a lot of them, and it would be like, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo. And they'd be like, oh, okay. And then, like, there was my computer. You like, turn my computer on, it would be like, uuuu, it would do like, the turn-on thing, and then it would go like this, it would go. You couldn't even use the computer anymore. And when I was, when I was a kid, um, you couldn't just like, fix it yourself, you couldn't just like, Google how to fix it. You'd have to call a man, and a man would come over with a full briefcase, and he'd be like, I'm here to look at the computer. And they'd have to pay a man like, fifty bucks to come over.

• 47:45Speaker 01

  All behind your parents' back.

• 47:46Speaker 02

  No, no, no, my parents, I'd be like, mom, something happened with the computer, I don't know what it is. And it would be like, because it wouldn't say like, porn, it would just be like, so many po- you couldn't even read them, they were like.

• 47:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 47:58Speaker 02

  A machine gun of like, of pop-ups. And then, like, they'd come and I'd be like, "Oh, mom, I'm really good with computers. I'll go like, talk to the guy." And like, I'd go talk to the guy, and he'd be like, "Dude, there's so much porn on this computer." And I'd be like, "I'll do whatever you say, man." Just like, "Please don't tell my parents." And they'd be like, "Okay, we won't tell your parents." And they'd like, fix it, and then like, two weeks later, the same thing.

• 48:20Speaker 01

  Would they get annoyed?

• 48:21Speaker 02

  My parents?

• 48:22Speaker 01

  No, the computer guy.

• 48:23Speaker 02

  No, they're just like, porn? And I'm like, "Yeah." Like, it's just like, or like illegally downloading songs. Like, because we would do it on like Napster and Kazaa and stuff.

• 48:32Speaker 01

  Got it.

• 48:33Speaker 02

  And LimeWire?

• 48:33Speaker 01

  I was a LimeW- I used LimeWire.

• 48:35Speaker 02

  So we had LimeWire to download porn, but it would take so long. It would take so long. And you'd have to like, download porn like, like, for 24 hours. And, and, and then like, you'd finally get it.

• 48:46Speaker 01

  At that point, is it worth it?

• 48:47Speaker 02

  Yes, when you're a kid, is it worth it? He's shaking his head. And you'd get it, and sometimes it would be like porn, and you'd be like, "Yes!" And then sometimes, it would literally just be like, like, static. And be like, "Hush, cahhh!" Like, the craziest noise. And you'd be like, "Fuck." Like, I waited 24 hours for just like, static.

• 49:03Speaker 01

  So when like, this, when like, social media evolved, like, were you guys like, "Oh, this is awesome for our porn intake"?

• 49:12Speaker 02

  I don't know. I don't, I can't even remember. Like, I just remember, I just remember, I got big. Like, I got first discovered because of MySpace. Like, that was like, social media for me. So like, I used to like, just like, hit up anyone who was like, of any relevance and be like, "I make music, I just did this thing for the..." And it'd be like, the like, worst. I'd be like, "Did this for like, someone's cousin's nephew." And like, I like, then the credits started getting better, and I like, I like, started to get a bunch of friends on, like, like, it was like, the first thing where you would get like, popular. That's like, how you got popular, on like, MySpace. And I like, had like, a lot of friends. Like, basically like, I had like, I think I had like, 15,000 friends.

• 49:54Speaker 01

  Got it.

• 49:55Speaker 02

  On MySpace, and like, for like...

• 49:57Speaker 01

  That's a lot of friends.

• 49:57Speaker 02

  At that point, like, that was like hu- like, there was, like, the, the biggest person in the world. Uh, well, this girl, Tila Tequila.

• 50:05Speaker 01

  Oh, I watched a show-

• 50:06Speaker 02

  Hot at love. Okay, so she at that point, like when I had like fifteen thousand, she had like five hundred thousand and she was like, nobody was even close to her. And so like I had like fifteen, like I had by far like the most of like anyone near my area and I don't even know why it had. I was just like doing funny shit and I would like write on like people's walls like crazy shit and like it was just like I I was thirteen. Right. And and then and then I like just like started like getting gradually gradually like more known. But like, yeah, like when Twitter came out, I remember I was like, what's Twitter? And I like didn't know any TikTok, same thing. Yeah. My friend, literally, I was putting out my second album and my friend was like, you gotta use this thing called TikTok.

• 50:51Speaker 02

  If you want your songs to be big. And I was like, what's TikTok? And and he was like, it's the thing like where everyone like dances on it. And I was like, well, I don't want to dance on it. And he was like, no, you don't have to just like go on and like just do stuff. He was like, there's like these things called trends. And they're doing some to like some of your like songs that are like older. And I was like, I don't know, man, I don't want to do this. And he was like, I'm gonna come over to your house and I'm gonna film you. Uh huh. And he like filmed three videos for me and like I like post them and they actually got four hundred views. And I was like, dude, I'm not doing this ever again. Four hundred views, that's crazy. Oh, I would have. And I went to bed. Uh huh. And then I woke up and my friend was like, I told you. And I was like, what do you mean you told me?

• 51:35Speaker 02

  And he was like, and like one of my first videos got like ten million. Wow. Over, this was when TikTok was like. Good feeling, huh? Like, do you know like, uh, when it was like, and it was like, and then I was like, oh shit. And then like I posted another video and it like did nothing. And then like I posted like one more and then it got like millions of views. And then all of a sudden I had like five hundred thousand followers in like. Those were the days. In like three days. Yeah. And then it was like, and then I was like, oh, and then my songs started getting really big. And then, and then I like really got the hang of it and then I, cause I was like, I, I was like, in order to get the hang of this, I need to see it. So my friend came over one day and he showed me the for you page, cause I've never, still to this day, I don't never use, I've never scrolled.

• 52:18Speaker 01

  Benny, like, my screen time is insane.

• 52:20Speaker 02

  Really?

• 52:21Speaker 01

  All I do, scroll, scroll, scroll.

• 52:22Speaker 02

  So like, what are you gonna do, like, break me down with what you did earlier today and what you're gonna like do after?

• 52:28Speaker 01

  Really? I love talking about this. So I woke up at seven and a half. I woke up and my vet, my bed vibrates to wake me up.

• 52:36Speaker 02

  What?

• 52:36Speaker 01

  Yes, it's an eight sleep.

• 52:38Speaker 02

  Oh yeah, I have one of those.

• 52:39Speaker 01

  Do you really?

• 52:39Speaker 02

  I took it off immediately. I hated, like, I hated the, it made me freezing all night.

• 52:44Speaker 01

  But you can make it warm.

• 52:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, I, I don't like that thing. I have two extra if you want one.

• 52:50Speaker 01

  King size or queen size?

• 52:52Speaker 02

  King and cow king.

• 52:54Speaker 01

  Okay, I might get a new, a king bed for my new room, so I actually might.

• 52:58Speaker 02

  Do you want one?

• 52:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 52:59Speaker 02

  I, I literally have an extra one at my house.

• 53:00Speaker 01

  Really?

• 53:01Speaker 02

  I swear.

• 53:02Speaker 01

  I, I would like that.

• 53:03Speaker 02

  Okay, maybe for a small price.

• 53:04Speaker 01

  Okay, I'll pay.

• 53:06Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 53:06Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 53:07Speaker 02

  No, I got mine for free. You can, you can have it.

• 53:09Speaker 01

  I got mine for free too.

• 53:09Speaker 02

  Okay, okay, you, yeah, you can have it.

• 53:11Speaker 01

  Okay, cool. So basically I woke up and my bed, my bed vibrated to wake me up. Then I walked to get coffee, um, I listened to my music and then I went to go work out at the ALO Gym, where you actually have a studio.

• 53:23Speaker 02

  Oh, I do have a studio there.

• 53:24Speaker 01

  You have a studio there?

• 53:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:26Speaker 01

  And, um.

• 53:27Speaker 02

  You can use it whenever you want.

• 53:28Speaker 01

  Really?

• 53:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:28Speaker 01

  Okay, cool. I got an IV in there once.

• 53:31Speaker 02

  In the studio?

• 53:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm pretty sure.

• 53:34Speaker 02

  What, what type of IV?

• 53:35Speaker 01

  I don't know, I get an IV like once a week.

• 53:37Speaker 02

  Really?

• 53:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:38Speaker 02

  Why?

• 53:38Speaker 01

  I'm addicted. Have you ever put Benadryl on an IV?

• 53:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:41Speaker 01

  Goes stupid.

• 53:42Speaker 02

  Do you guys get IVs? Does your mom know you get an IV?

• 53:46Speaker 01

  My dad knows.

• 53:47Speaker 02

  What's your dad think?

• 53:49Speaker 01

  He thinks, I'm like, it's healthy. He's like, okay, good.

• 53:52Speaker 02

  That's it?

• 53:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:52Speaker 02

  It's healthy. That Xanax healthy?

• 53:55Speaker 01

  No, he's like, it's good.

• 53:56Speaker 02

  Okay, good, good.

• 53:57Speaker 01

  So I worked out, I, I did cryotherapy, then I came home, shaved my entire chest.

• 54:04Speaker 02

  Do you have to have a shaved chest to be gay?

• 54:09Speaker 02

  I think hair's back in. Do you shave your dick?

• 54:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, I get it lasered off.

• 54:13Speaker 02

  Your dick?

• 54:14Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 54:14Speaker 02

  You get your dick lasered?

• 54:16Speaker 01

  Like, no, there's like a little, but it's not like a bush.

• 54:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, so it's just like manicured?

• 54:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:22Speaker 02

  But like, how little are we talking? Like your eyebrows? Or less? Is it like this? Is it like mine?

• 54:29Speaker 01

  Right now?

• 54:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:30Speaker 01

  It's bald.

• 54:31Speaker 02

  That's crazy.

• 54:32Speaker 01

  I know.

• 54:32Speaker 02

  That's insane.

• 54:34Speaker 01

  I know.

• 54:34Speaker 02

  Bald is insane.

• 54:35Speaker 01

  I know. I don't know, okay?

• 54:37Speaker 02

  Do you want a bald dick?

• 54:39Speaker 04

  Uh, no.

• 54:41Speaker 02

  Yeah. Are you gay or straight? Straight. Do you want a bald dick? Your dick's not bald, I already know. I can already, I know what your dick looks like. I know everything about, like, I know your dick already. I got the wax, I waxed my asshole.

• 54:56Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 54:57Speaker 02

  And it, and first of all, the position they put you in is insane.

• 55:00Speaker 01

  I know.

• 55:01Speaker 02

  Insane. You're like, legs are above your head, and I'm sitting there, and I was like, talking to the lady while she's doing it, and she's like, oh my god, she's like, she was like, I saw Steely Dan last night, and they were so good. While she's like, and she's just like, she's talking to me like, about like, about like 80's rock bands, while she's like, I will tell you, first of all, it does not hurt at all, it feels so good. The warmth, the warmth.

• 55:27Speaker 01

  Of the wax?

• 55:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 55:28Speaker 01

  You do sugaring or wax?

• 55:30Speaker 02

  Uh, I think she does a combination, I think, or something.

• 55:33Speaker 01

  Oh wow.

• 55:34Speaker 02

  I don't know what she does, she's like, very next level.

• 55:36Speaker 01

  Okay, yeah.

• 55:37Speaker 02

  I will tell you one thing. Okay, first of all, I've never been so clean down there. Like, it's like, you're, it's almost like too, like, okay, so guys have hair in their tush because it like catches the sweat and stuff. When you have, when you have no, like, when you have no hair, it's like, I'm like, it's like a slip and slide. It's like, so, it does for girls too?

• 56:02Speaker 01

  But then, but then you have to, you just have to take care of yourself down there to make sure it doesn't end up like that.

• 56:06Speaker 02

  No, no, no, but it's just like, it's just like, if you like, go for, no, not wiping, like, oh, wiping is amazing. Oh my god, wiping is insane. I use a Toto toilet anyways.

• 56:16Speaker 01

  Oh, you're a...

• 56:18Speaker 02

  I love getting like,

• 56:19Speaker 01

  Up a day?

• 56:20Speaker 02

  An explosion of water up my asshole. Like, there's nothing I love more than just like, being like blasted. Like, I wish it was like, I wish it was like, Like, like, I would take a full machine gun of water up my, yeah, like, the harder the better.

• 56:34Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 56:34Speaker 02

  It feels so good.

• 56:36Speaker 01

  I guess, it kind of jars me. I've only done it twice.

• 56:39Speaker 02

  I like sit on it and I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like riding, like, it's like amazing. It's incredible. One time, I was like, in the doctor's office, and

• 56:53Speaker 02

  there was, like,

• 56:56Speaker 02

  a man and like, a woman examining like, my penis. Like, in the, like, just like, doing like, physical, like, checking around. And it might have been a dermatologist, I forget what it was, I think it was a regular doctor, when they tell you cough and stuff. And

• 57:12Speaker 02

  the lady starts talking and she's like, "Oh my god, I love when you did thi-" and she's like, talking, and then asked me for a picture.

• 57:19Speaker 01

  While you're-

• 57:20Speaker 02

  No, no, afterwards. And I was just like, "I can never come here again", like-

• 57:24Speaker 01

  Is that HIPAA?

• 57:25Speaker 02

  I think that's like, illegal, right?

• 57:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's not legal.

• 57:28Speaker 02

  Like, and I was like, I've never been like, more violated in my life. I never went back again.

• 57:34Speaker 01

  And would, did they, was it like, a physical, like, were they like, all upon you, that whole examining?

• 57:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, the girl wasn't, she was just like, shadowing the doctor, or I think she was like, the doctor's assistant, I don't know what it was, I don't know. And she was there and she was like, starts talking to me, like, and she was just talking to me throughout the whole time, not just like, when my pants were down. And then like, and then she's like, they're like, the guy's like, having me cough, and like, my penis is just like, out, and then like, yeah, then she's like, asked me for a picture, and I was like, and then I started thinking, I'm like, are all our doctors just like, talking about like, all our deepest darkest secrets when they get home?

• 58:06Speaker 01

  Probably.

• 58:07Speaker 02

  Like, they're just like, "Oh my god", they're like, "Jake's asshole",

• 58:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:11Speaker 02

  Huge.

• 58:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, probably. Like, well, one time my friend got a finger, like, the, the, the doctor had to like, stick a finger up his ass, and he peed.

• 58:22Speaker 02

  A good peer, bad.

• 58:23Speaker 01

  I don't know, but he said, "Ooh!", and peed across the entire, uh, patient room. And the doctor said, "It happens."

• 58:31Speaker 02

  He's like, "It happens. I'm gonna be like, talking about it while I'm eating like, Angelini like, octopus tonight, but it happens."

• 58:37Speaker 01

  Isn't that crazy?

• 58:38Speaker 02

  That's insane. Ah, doctor, are therapists saying everything?

• 58:43Speaker 01

  I don't know. How long have you had your therapist for?

• 58:46Speaker 02

  Like eighteen years.

• 58:47Speaker 01

  Shut the fuck up.

• 58:48Speaker 02

  Yeah. How long have you had your six months?

• 58:50Speaker 01

  Like a mu- like a year, or less than? Like, I don't know, and all I do is talk shit with her. I like, don't do-

• 58:54Speaker 02

  You don't even, you don't even do therapy?

• 58:56Speaker 01

  No.

• 58:57Speaker 02

  You're just like, "Bitch, guess what?" Is that basically you?

• 59:00Speaker 01

  Yes. Well, no, like, I'll get into like, my intimacy, in- into-

• 59:03Speaker 02

  Intimacy?

• 59:04Speaker 01

  Intimacy problems in the last like, five minutes.

• 59:06Speaker 02

  You have intimacy problems?

• 59:07Speaker 01

  Like, I definitely am not, like, I don't have, like, solutions for it.

• 59:11Speaker 02

  But what are the problems?

• 59:13Speaker 01

  Like, I'm not good at it.

• 59:14Speaker 02

  But why aren't you good at intimacy?

• 59:15Speaker 01

  Cause I'm, it makes me nervous.

• 59:16Speaker 02

  Really?

• 59:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:17Speaker 02

  Well, do you get nervous, like, to go in for the kiss? Do you get in-

• 59:20Speaker 01

  No, I'm, I've actually was told twice last week by two different people that I'm a good kisser. I know.

• 59:27Speaker 02

  That's so-

• 59:27Speaker 01

  Never heard that before, and I was like, "I'll take it."

• 59:30Speaker 02

  Okay, so you're a good kisser. I could see it. You look like a good kisser.

• 59:33Speaker 01

  Really?

• 59:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, you got a good mouth.

• 59:35Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 59:35Speaker 02

  Um, okay, so, then, you, what are the intimacy problems?

• 59:40Speaker 01

  Like, I, I just get super anxious.

• 59:43Speaker 02

  Like, before you're in-

• 59:43Speaker 01

  I think I'm just like, uncomfortable with my body.

• 59:45Speaker 02

  Why, your body's great. Is that why you're going to the gym?

• 59:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:48Speaker 02

  Constantly? Did you, did you like, used to be like, a chubby kid, or something?

• 59:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was like, very chubby when I was like, ten, and then I lost a bunch of weight, and then, post-grad, I gained a little bit of weight. And then I was like, "I gotta lose it."

• 1:00:01Speaker 02

  You look great now.

• 1:00:02Speaker 01

  Thank you so much. Nolan, do you think I've lost weight since we've started this?

• 1:00:05Speaker 02

  Absolutely. But are you, are you trying to get like, six pack?

• 1:00:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, I like, ideally, I would like, like, a four pack.

• 1:00:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:00:11Speaker 01

  That would be nice.

• 1:00:11Speaker 02

  How close do you think?

• 1:00:12Speaker 01

  How close? Like, four, five months away, if I took it seriously.

• 1:00:16Speaker 02

  Do you have like, a crazy trainer, or something?

• 1:00:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, but like, I, I, like-

• 1:00:19Speaker 02

  You just like, talk shit?

• 1:00:20Speaker 01

  Like, I, like, I go, like, I, I go out a lot, and then I'm drunky- Like, yeah, I try to. I ate healthy today and yesterday.

• 1:00:27Speaker 02

  Does he eat healthy? Yeah, I think so.

• 1:00:30Speaker 01

  I overeat. So I eat like I've never been fed.

• 1:00:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, I have to eat every two hours. Like, I'm starving right now.

• 1:00:36Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:00:36Speaker 02

  And I ate right before I came here. I came, I ate the second before I came here, and I'm starving.

• 1:00:40Speaker 01

  What'd you eat?

• 1:00:41Speaker 02

  Um, I made like a nice little like, I made like some like shrimp and vegetables and rice. Just like very-

• 1:00:49Speaker 01

  That's my favorite. I really would like you to cook for me.

• 1:00:50Speaker 02

  I would love to cook with you.

• 1:00:52Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:00:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, I want to be your friend in real life.

• 1:00:53Speaker 01

  I want to be your friend in real life.

• 1:00:55Speaker 02

  Really?

• 1:00:55Speaker 01

  I'm dead serious.

• 1:00:56Speaker 02

  Or do you just like say stuff like that?

• 1:00:57Speaker 01

  No, I'm like dead serious. Like, I actually am gonna hit you up and text you.

• 1:01:01Speaker 02

  Are you like an LA follow-through or just like?

• 1:01:02Speaker 01

  No, I'm a, I'm a follow-through.

• 1:01:04Speaker 02

  Really?

• 1:01:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:06Speaker 02

  What do you usually do on the weekend?

• 1:01:08Speaker 01

  Like, this weekend I'm in New York.

• 1:01:10Speaker 02

  What are you doing?

• 1:01:11Speaker 01

  Um-

• 1:01:12Speaker 02

  Aren't you like on tour?

• 1:01:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, I go back on tour in a few weeks if you want to pop out.

• 1:01:16Speaker 02

  So what is, so what's the tour? You do this onstage?

• 1:01:19Speaker 01

  No, I like stand up and I talk about myself for like an hour and forty-five minutes.

• 1:01:22Speaker 02

  You just talk about yourself, like however you feel that night?

• 1:01:25Speaker 01

  Like, Manny, can you explain, can you give her the mic and can she explain like what she thinks that?

• 1:01:33Speaker 02

  Does anyone ever see them on camera?

• 1:01:34Speaker 01

  Mm-mm.

• 1:01:35Speaker 02

  So they just hear you guys? Are there people who have like crushes on them without, no, no?

• 1:01:40Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 1:01:41Speaker 04

  Not yet.

• 1:01:42Speaker 03

  Submissions.

• 1:01:43Speaker 01

  Oh, really?

• 1:01:43Speaker 03

  A lot of people.

• 1:01:44Speaker 02

  About who?

• 1:01:45Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:01:46Speaker 02

  Oh, about you?

• 1:01:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:01:47Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:01:48Speaker 03

  They say they fall in love with my voice.

• 1:01:49Speaker 01

  Oh, I didn't-

• 1:01:50Speaker 03

  And they put their numbers in there.

• 1:01:51Speaker 02

  He's hot. He's like, he, he's definitely a hot guy.

• 1:01:54Speaker 03

  Thanks, man.

• 1:01:55Speaker 02

  He's definitely, don't ever show yourself. No, no, no, no, no, don't, keep it a mystery, keep it a mystery. No, he's really hot. He's very hot.

• 1:02:04Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 1:02:04Speaker 01

  So Manny, do you want to explain like what my show's like or what's the vibe?

• 1:02:07Speaker 04

  Yes. Let's, let's get back to Jake. Um, his show, it's base, it's like a hybrid stand-up. It's kind of like a big hangout session where he also has a structure and jokes, but audience participation, he talks about himself, he talks about his childhood. Um, he, like the PowerPoint presentation has a lot of funny visuals, a lot of funny like, just a lot of, his fans are called pussies, and so the pussies are a really big part of it. And it's kind of just like a hour and forty-five minutes of hanging out and laughing, and then he also sings.

• 1:02:42Speaker 01

  Songs from my album, Puss in Paws.

• 1:02:43Speaker 02

  Oh my god, I love that. Where, where are you playing here?

• 1:02:46Speaker 01

  Here, we had to move the LA date.

• 1:02:48Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:02:49Speaker 01

  Um, but in New York, I'm doing Radio City in June.

• 1:02:52Speaker 02

  Amazing. Whoa, Radio City's huge.

• 1:02:54Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:02:55Speaker 02

  Is that, is that your biggest one you've ever done?

• 1:02:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:58Speaker 02

  Oh my god, are you gonna sell it out?

• 1:02:59Speaker 01

  I think it's about to be sold out.

• 1:03:01Speaker 02

  Just selling out? Just like, this is like, easy for you?

• 1:03:04Speaker 01

  I don't know, like, I, I, I didn't think it would sell that much, but it, it has. New York's my hometown, so.

• 1:03:09Speaker 02

  That's so cool. I wanna come.

• 1:03:12Speaker 01

  Do you actually want to?

• 1:03:13Speaker 02

  I wanna come to a show for sure. When is your LA show?

• 1:03:16Speaker 01

  Like, we need to reschedule it.

• 1:03:18Speaker 02

  Okay, I'm a hundred percent coming to your LA show.

• 1:03:20Speaker 01

  You have to.

• 1:03:21Speaker 02

  I swear.

• 1:03:22Speaker 01

  You have to pop out.

• 1:03:23Speaker 02

  I swear, I'll pop out.

• 1:03:24Speaker 01

  Have you ever seen, um, what's his name here? Uh, he, Jay Shetty was here the other week. He said you guys were close friends. Have you been to one of his shows?

• 1:03:30Speaker 02

  No. Oh, he came on your pod?

• 1:03:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:34Speaker 02

  Really?

• 1:03:34Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:03:35Speaker 02

  Damn, you get everyone on your pod.

• 1:03:37Speaker 01

  Oh, thanks. He talked about how much he adored you.

• 1:03:39Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:03:39Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:03:40Speaker 02

  I just, we just, me and Selena just did a show.

• 1:03:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, he was telling me. He was using your relationship as an example for a relationship like that I should strive for.

• 1:03:49Speaker 02

  Oh, wow. Big shoes.

• 1:03:52Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:03:52Speaker 02

  I, uh, I, we, I have a good relationship.

• 1:03:56Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:03:57Speaker 02

  It's really good.

• 1:03:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:58Speaker 02

  It's not, it's like, it's so easy.

• 1:04:01Speaker 01

  That's, well, love should be easy, huh?

• 1:04:02Speaker 02

  It's so, it, it's usually, I used to think like, oh yeah, like, it's supposed to be hard, like, it's supposed to be like, a fight, it's supposed to be like, a pat.

• 1:04:09Speaker 01

  I kinda want that.

• 1:04:10Speaker 02

  Love, easy or hard?

• 1:04:12Speaker 01

  Fights. Like, I kind of like, just wanna experience toxicity.

• 1:04:15Speaker 02

  I have a lot of gay friends.

• 1:04:17Speaker 01

  You do? Can you set me up with one of them?

• 1:04:19Speaker 02

  And I have like, I have so many like, cute parties and things to do. Like, I'll, I'll make all of them go to your Radio City show.

• 1:04:26Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:04:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, so you like, look like the man, and then you come offstage and you're like, huh.

• 1:04:30Speaker 01

  I'm like, oh my god. And then I'll have an after-party after.

• 1:04:33Speaker 02

  Do you love a party?

• 1:04:35Speaker 01

  I used to party. When I was in college, I would party Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, every single week. Sometimes Sunday, and I was, I wouldn't miss a night out. I literally refused to miss a night out. Like, if I missed a night out, like, hell had frozen over.

• 1:04:49Speaker 02

  Do you miss a night out now?

• 1:04:50Speaker 01

  All the time. I rarely go out now.

• 1:04:52Speaker 02

  Okay, what are you gonna do in New York?

• 1:04:54Speaker 01

  Go out. So, um...

• 1:04:56Speaker 02

  Tell me, tell me your plans in New York this weekend. I wanna know everything.

• 1:04:59Speaker 01

  Do you really?

• 1:05:00Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:05:00Speaker 01

  Okay, so I get there Thursday.

• 1:05:02Speaker 02

  Okay, boring. No, I'm just kidding.

• 1:05:03Speaker 01

  Well.

• 1:05:04Speaker 02

  Okay, okay, you get there Thursday.

• 1:05:05Speaker 01

  I'm staying at [BLEEP].

• 1:05:06Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:05:07Speaker 01

  So I'm super excited. I've never stayed there before.

• 1:05:08Speaker 02

  Okay, okay.

• 1:05:09Speaker 01

  Um, I'm gonna go on a date Thursday night with this guy I've been seeing.

• 1:05:12Speaker 02

  What's the sushi restaurant? Okay.

• 1:05:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, he was raving about it.

• 1:05:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's yummy. I've only had Postmates. I've never been there.

• 1:05:20Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:05:20Speaker 02

  But it was yummy.

• 1:05:21Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:05:22Speaker 02

  Okay, keep going.

• 1:05:23Speaker 01

  Okay, so I'm gonna see him.

• 1:05:24Speaker 02

  I think that's what it's called.

• 1:05:25Speaker 01

  And he's, but we're getting drinks with my two girlfriends and him beforehand, because my girlfriends wanted to see me.

• 1:05:31Speaker 02

  And your girlfriends live in New York?

• 1:05:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:32Speaker 02

  Okay, what are their names?

• 1:05:33Speaker 01

  Cassidy and Sally.

• 1:05:34Speaker 02

  Okay, Cassidy and Sally.

• 1:05:35Speaker 01

  And then Friday, this is my BNO. So Friday, I'm gonna wake up and I'm gonna work out. And then I have an important meeting that I'm really excited for, but it's over Zoom, so it doesn't matter if I took it in New York or LA or whatever.

• 1:05:48Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:05:48Speaker 01

  Then Friday night, I have a reservation at my favorite, like, going-out spot.

• 1:05:54Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:05:54Speaker 01

  And I have a reservation with me and all my girls, and we are gonna go and blackout Saturday.

• 1:05:59Speaker 02

  Same girls, Cassidy.

• 1:06:00Speaker 01

  Cassidy and Sally, and then some.

• 1:06:02Speaker 02

  Okay, and a lot of girls.

• 1:06:04Speaker 01

  Probably. And then Saturday comes around and I have to fly to Boston.

• 1:06:07Speaker 02

  For what?

• 1:06:08Speaker 01

  Because my best friend's older brother is giving the commencement speech at Northeastern.

• 1:06:12Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 1:06:12Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:06:13Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:06:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, very excited. So then I'm with my-

• 1:06:16Speaker 02

  And you'll party there?

• 1:06:19Speaker 01

  Is Alice here? Alice? Damn.

• 1:06:23Speaker 02

  Okay, then what?

• 1:06:24Speaker 01

  Well, so we'll probably, maybe not. We'll go out to a nice dinner, probably in Boston. I doubt we'll party.

• 1:06:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:06:30Speaker 01

  And then Sunday, I come back to New York. Don't know what I'll do. And then Monday, I have the Webby Awards.

• 1:06:38Speaker 02

  Are you hosting or something?

• 1:06:39Speaker 01

  No, I won an award.

• 1:06:41Speaker 02

  Congrats.

• 1:06:42Speaker 01

  Thanks.

• 1:06:43Speaker 02

  Okay, and then you'll party after that?

• 1:06:44Speaker 01

  Um, no.

• 1:06:46Speaker 02

  It might just kick it.

• 1:06:47Speaker 01

  I'll probably just, because I have a flight Tuesday morning, very, very early.

• 1:06:50Speaker 02

  Where?

• 1:06:51Speaker 01

  Back to here to come home, because I have to be here first thing in the morning to go to Alexander's studio to finish my Christmas song. Because it's the last time I can do it before I leave for tour.

• 1:07:01Speaker 02

  And then how long are you on tour for?

• 1:07:03Speaker 01

  I am on tour from middle of May to end of May, and then I go to France all of June.

• 1:07:08Speaker 02

  For what?

• 1:07:10Speaker 01

  Wedding, vacation, another wedding, work, vacation, back to tour.

• 1:07:16Speaker 02

  And then what?

• 1:07:17Speaker 01

  And then it's July.

• 1:07:19Speaker 02

  And then what are you gonna do?

• 1:07:20Speaker 01

  I finish tour a little more.

• 1:07:21Speaker 02

  Yeah?

• 1:07:22Speaker 01

  And I'm gonna spend a lot of time in LA. Maybe I'll go fuck around in New York.

• 1:07:27Speaker 02

  What a life.

• 1:07:28Speaker 01

  Live my life.

• 1:07:30Speaker 02

  What a life.

• 1:07:31Speaker 01

  What are your plans for the summer?

• 1:07:32Speaker 02

  I have some things I have to work on in LA and then honestly, I really wanna take like a little break. I've been working so much. I realize like I haven't really like had much time off in a while and I'm about to like just like rela- like I just wanna like lay in bed like I wanna lay in bed and like forget what day it is cuz we've been in bed.

• 1:07:53Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:07:54Speaker 02

  Watching.

• 1:07:55Speaker 01

  You like that?

• 1:07:56Speaker 02

  Not usually.

• 1:07:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:57Speaker 02

  But but like Whistling and I can do it like all day like she makes me wanna just like hang out and cuddle and like wa- like and just watch things and just like eat food and have like piles of food around us and like have the best time ever.

• 1:08:12Speaker 01

  Are you guys wedding planning yet? Has that?

• 1:08:14Speaker 02

  Not yet. We we like tha- that's why we both need to show. We've both been working so much. We like

• 1:08:18Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:08:19Speaker 02

  got engaged. Then we like were like filming music videos for our album. Then like we then then we uh we like then it's holidays. Then right after holidays, we had to like start all the promo for our stuff. Then we do that. Then she left um to film her show Only Murders and then like I met her then we hung out for like a week and then right after that it's like promo and then I'm I'm writing another book. So then I had to like write like a book and then like she came back for like one day here. Then I like it's like

• 1:08:54Speaker 01

  Right, right.

• 1:08:54Speaker 02

  and it was my birthday and then it was you know, so it's like

• 1:08:57Speaker 01

  Happy belated.

• 1:08:58Speaker 02

  Thanks. And then we never and then and then like I'm I'm always we're both working on so many things that we hadn't even had time to like get into it. But like we're so excited. I think like this summer, we're gonna like sit down and be like, okay, what are we doing, hon?

• 1:09:13Speaker 01

  That wedding's gonna be lit, huh?

• 1:09:15Speaker 02

  I think so.

• 1:09:16Speaker 01

  That's gonna be awesome.

• 1:09:17Speaker 02

  But it'll be like chill.

• 1:09:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:09:19Speaker 02

  It'll be chill.

• 1:09:19Speaker 01

  But lit.

• 1:09:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, it'll be amazing. I don't know. I don't have no idea. What's that?

• 1:09:23Speaker 01

  It's the tell me what's wrongs. Well, what were you about to say?

• 1:09:26Speaker 02

  Nothing. What's tell me what's wrongs?

• 1:09:28Speaker 01

  It's the pussies write in and they tell us what's wrong and we give them advice.

• 1:09:32Speaker 02

  Are you serious?

• 1:09:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, and we like prescribe them stuff.

• 1:09:34Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:09:36Speaker 01

  I got with a guy who I didn't realize had a girlfriend at the time. Now, his friends are blaming me for the situation and even booed me last night because they broke up. We're in the same social circles, so how do I get out of this?

• 1:09:48Speaker 02

  You wanna take this one away?

• 1:09:49Speaker 01

  Like, I would just be like, fuck you guys, you suck. Like, I don't know what to tell, like, it sucks, like, guys suck, like, they're, of course, they're blaming you.

• 1:09:56Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:09:56Speaker 01

  They won't, like, put any responsibility onto their loser friend.

• 1:10:01Speaker 02

  Okay, I'm gonna be in charge of the next one.

• 1:10:03Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:10:04Speaker 02

  Your advice is cra- like, eh, like, eh, this is your thing.

• 1:10:07Speaker 01

  Right, like, what, men suck, like, they, like, what do you mean? Like, of course, they won't blame their friend, because then they have to look inward.

• 1:10:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, they suck.

• 1:10:13Speaker 01

  I don't, I would prescribe, um...

• 1:10:18Speaker 02

  New dick?

• 1:10:19Speaker 01

  Um, I don't really know.

• 1:10:22Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:10:22Speaker 01

  Okay. I am seriously going to lose my mind over this girl. She has been one of my best friends for over six years, but I just can't stand to be around her anymore. We had an argument a while ago and stopped talking for six months, and it was the best six months of my life. Now that we patched things up a little, I'm starting to feel those same bad feelings as before. What should I tell her?

• 1:10:41Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:10:42Speaker 01

  You, you, I think you have a wiser take on this.

• 1:10:45Speaker 02

  Um, look, there's two worlds. Like, we all have, first of all, everybody has a friend that they're just, like, grandfathered in. Like, no matter what, they're like, they're, they, they, they kinda just have to be your friend for the rest of your life. You hate them, but they, but that you're so embarrassed of them. Every time you bring them around, you're like, you're like, oh, this is gonna be terrible, but you have no other choice. They're already in the circle, and you can't get a new friend, and they know too much.

• 1:11:11Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:11:12Speaker 02

  Like, they're like, it's like a therapist, like, you don't wanna teach a new friend, like, all this stuff. They've been your friend for, like, ten years. You kinda have to keep them, so there's, like, a little bit of that world. And then, I always think, like, the truth is gonna set you free. You just have to tell the truth. You have to be like, look, I'm, like, finding myself, like, resenting you a little bit, we patched this up. Like, what are we gonna do about it? And talk to them, and like, sometimes the mature thing is, like, letting go. And then sometimes it's like, oh, no, let's, like, try to work through this.

• 1:11:38Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:11:38Speaker 02

  I, I think, I think, I think you should definitely try that, unless they're already in the grandfathered in. Like, the grandfathered in, you have no, there's no choice, you're fucked, you're fucked.

• 1:11:47Speaker 01

  Right, because they know too much.

• 1:11:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, grandfathered in, they're, like, don't you have some friends you, like... Like you hate them, like they're your friend. No, you do.

• 1:11:53Speaker 01

  No, not really.

• 1:11:55Speaker 02

  It's, you know what I'm talking about, you know. Yeah, obviously, he's such a liar. He's such a liar, you just like don't want it, you're on, it's because we're on a podcast. Like, like, yeah, I have friends I hate, you know who you are. I don't even know which camera to look at. No, but like, you hate them, like, you don't actually hate them, you're just like, oh. Really, you said that, like, we're like, do you have like people you bring around someone, you're like, why would you say that?

• 1:12:18Speaker 01

  That's usually me.

• 1:12:19Speaker 02

  Oh, really?

• 1:12:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, like, that's, I, maybe I'm the friend.

• 1:12:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:12:22Speaker 01

  Like, my friend Will always is like, what, why the fuck would you say that? Like, how could you say that? Like, you've been, like, you're so embarrassing. So, but I would prescribe Truth Hurts by Lizzo.

• 1:12:32Speaker 02

  Oh, oh, okay, okay, okay.

• 1:12:35Speaker 01

  You see?

• 1:12:35Speaker 02

  Yes, yes, yes.

• 1:12:36Speaker 01

  The past two or three guys I've gotten with keep finishing so quickly, like, record speed. I know it's a low-key compliment, but come on, what do I gotta do here?

• 1:12:44Speaker 02

  Some people have, like, issues with it. Maybe, I think, maybe, like, try a lot of foreplay first. So that, like, by the time you get to set, like, like, maybe, like, have them, like, go down on you, or like, do something that's gonna, you know, or bring a toy into it or something. Something that's gonna get you either, like, you already came before, or like, you can come very easily. And then maybe that'll, like, work their confidence back up. I prescribe, I puscribe, um, like, going to Babeland or something?

• 1:13:18Speaker 01

  I used to toy the first time I lost my virginity.

• 1:13:20Speaker 02

  You did?

• 1:13:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:13:24Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:13:25Speaker 01

  Isn't that insane?

• 1:13:26Speaker 02

  First time?

• 1:13:27Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:13:27Speaker 02

  That's insane.

• 1:13:28Speaker 01

  Isn't that insane?

• 1:13:29Speaker 02

  That's crazy.

• 1:13:30Speaker 01

  Like, isn't that crazy?

• 1:13:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's crazy. That's insane. Like, you're so, you're embarrassed.

• 1:13:36Speaker 01

  I don't think I've even ever told my friends that.

• 1:13:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's insane, that's insane.

• 1:13:40Speaker 01

  I want to become a singer-songwriter and went to an open mic the other night, and got awkwardly laughed offstage after my performance. It didn't kill me, but it sure didn't feel good. Like, am I cut out for this?

• 1:13:51Speaker 02

  Do you want to start, and then I will?

• 1:13:52Speaker 01

  Like... Yeah, I think you're cut out for it. I think your outlook on it is great. Like, it didn't kill me, but it didn't feel great. Obviously, that's not gonna feel good. You're human. Of course, it's not gonna feel good.

• 1:14:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, people tell me no. Still, all the time. Yes, so many times. Like, you're gonna fail so much. Like, you're gonna fail constantly. Like, you're gonna, like, nobody's gonna remember your failures, though. Like, nobody's coming up to you and they're like, Jake, do you remember that, like, one podcast you had that, like, didn't go off that well? Or like, at that show when you told that one joke? Uh, like, and if they are focused on that, they're like a piece of shit. And like, they shouldn't be like, it doesn't, like, they're just like preying on your downfall. But like, no normal person, like, when you talk about, like, Michael Jordan, you're not like, remember when he missed that, like, game-winning three? You're like, oh, my God, do you remember when he dunked from the foul line with his tongue out? Like, you know, you're like, thinking of shit like that.

• 1:14:44Speaker 02

  Like, and I, I think you just have to, like, keep going and, and, and it's all gonna work out. And like, the only chance you won't make it is if you quit. Like, that's the only chance you guaranteed to not make it.

• 1:14:57Speaker 01

  I guess you're right.

• 1:14:58Speaker 02

  What do you wanna prescribe?

• 1:14:59Speaker 01

  Um, Stronger by Kelly Clarkson.

• 1:15:02Speaker 02

  Oh, my friend made that song.

• 1:15:04Speaker 01

  Really? Who made that?

• 1:15:05Speaker 02

  Ally Tamposi.

• 1:15:06Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 1:15:07Speaker 02

  Singer-songwriter.

• 1:15:08Speaker 01

  Have you ever worked with Kelly Clarkson?

• 1:15:10Speaker 02

  I've never worked with Kelly. I went on her show, but I never worked with her.

• 1:15:13Speaker 01

  Oh, okay. My best friend just started dating my secret crush of a year and a half. I know that's totally on me, but I'm heartbroken and I'm dreaming of sabotage. Do I commit to the bit or just be more open with my feelings next time? So, actually, I've had an experience with this. One time, my friend hooked up with my crush and-

• 1:15:29Speaker 02

  And did you, did he know it was your crush?

• 1:15:31Speaker 01

  So, I thought he did, but he was like, you never fucking told me that you liked this guy. So, that is on you, and it was on me, but next time, you just have to be more open and honest.

• 1:15:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think so, too.

• 1:15:42Speaker 01

  Like, I learned the hard way. What do you want me, like, how dare you hook up with him? Like, you knew I liked him. He's like, you literally never told me that. And I didn't.

• 1:15:49Speaker 02

  Did you ask him, like, the tea on it?

• 1:15:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, I did.

• 1:15:52Speaker 02

  Was it good?

• 1:15:53Speaker 01

  He said it was okay.

• 1:15:54Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:15:55Speaker 01

  Well, what do you, what do you recommend?

• 1:15:57Speaker 02

  Yours was perfect, but what do we prescribe?

• 1:15:59Speaker 01

  What do we prescribe?

• 1:16:00Speaker 02

  Nothing?

• 1:16:01Speaker 01

  I don't, do you have anything?

• 1:16:03Speaker 02

  This is your show.

• 1:16:04Speaker 01

  I know, but I, I'm kind of like- Speechless, like, I don't really know.

• 1:16:09Speaker 02

  It touched you too deep.

• 1:16:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, I guess, maybe it did. Like, I prescribe you my situation.

• 1:16:14Speaker 02

  You prescribe, like, maybe real therapy?

• 1:16:16Speaker 01

  No, or, um, um.

• 1:16:19Speaker 02

  No, never that. Yoga?

• 1:16:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, acupuncture.

• 1:16:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, I prescribe, like, um,

• 1:16:27Speaker 02

  what would they prescribe, like, like, Earth Cafe or something?

• 1:16:31Speaker 01

  I hate Earth Cafe.

• 1:16:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, obviously.

• 1:16:34Speaker 01

  I have never hated it.

• 1:16:35Speaker 02

  Nobody likes Earth Cafe.

• 1:16:37Speaker 01

  Really? Then why is it still around?

• 1:16:39Speaker 02

  I.

• 1:16:41Speaker 01

  Riddle me that.

• 1:16:42Speaker 02

  Because I think, like, people saw it on, like, Entourage and were like, oh.

• 1:16:46Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:16:47Speaker 02

  I think so.

• 1:16:47Speaker 01

  I fucking hate that place. What's your favorite restaurant in LA?

• 1:16:50Speaker 02

  Not Earth Cafe.

• 1:16:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, same, I want.

• 1:16:52Speaker 02

  What are your faves?

• 1:16:54Speaker 01

  Um.

• 1:16:55Speaker 02

  Actual faves?

• 1:16:57Speaker 01

  Matu Hisa.

• 1:16:57Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:16:59Speaker 01

  I love Matu Hisa.

• 1:17:00Speaker 02

  Okay. Okay, cool.

• 1:17:02Speaker 01

  Toskana.

• 1:17:03Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:17:04Speaker 01

  Have you been to Toskana?

• 1:17:05Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:17:05Speaker 01

  It's amazing. Oh, I guess you've been there, so. Um, La Cha Cha Cha in downtown LA.

• 1:17:11Speaker 02

  The, what's that?

• 1:17:13Speaker 01

  It's great, it's Mexican food.

• 1:17:14Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:17:14Speaker 01

  That's about it.

• 1:17:15Speaker 02

  Okay, so you eat three places. Do you cook?

• 1:17:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, I, I used to, a lot more than I do now. Oh, Mr. Chow, love Mr. Chow.

• 1:17:22Speaker 02

  What do you, what do you cook?

• 1:17:24Speaker 01

  I used to cook.

• 1:17:25Speaker 02

  What do you mean, "used to"? Like, you die?

• 1:17:27Speaker 01

  No, like, I just, I order in every day.

• 1:17:30Speaker 02

  You do?

• 1:17:31Speaker 01

  It's pretty bad.

• 1:17:31Speaker 02

  What'd you order today?

• 1:17:32Speaker 01

  Well, today I had, like, a pre-made meal from my healthy chef.

• 1:17:35Speaker 02

  Oh, are you on, like, a?

• 1:17:37Speaker 01

  Like, a pre-cooked meals thing.

• 1:17:39Speaker 02

  Really? You're really trying to get, like, skinny?

• 1:17:42Speaker 01

  I'm really trying.

• 1:17:43Speaker 02

  Is it, is it good?

• 1:17:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, she's, she's great.

• 1:17:45Speaker 02

  How many calories are you allowed to have a day?

• 1:17:47Speaker 01

  Oh, so I haven't gotten that, that far yet, but I know I will one day. Like, if I ever get lucky and I get, like, a roll where I have to be super skinny and ripped, like, I'm excited for that day where I'm like, I can only eat this many calories.

• 1:17:56Speaker 02

  Really?

• 1:17:57Speaker 01

  Do you cook every day?

• 1:17:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:17:59Speaker 01

  For every meal?

• 1:18:00Speaker 02

  I cook a lot, cuz like by the time you order Postmates, it's like, you're like, what was this supposed to be? Like when it gets, it's like so cold and like disgusting, or like the guy, like, it looks like he got in like, like an off-roading like accident. Like you're like, like the crispy tuna rice is like upside down and there's like, there's like a jalapeno like somehow out of the box already like, and it's just like, you're like, what? Like?

• 1:18:22Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:18:22Speaker 02

  So I rather just like make stuff at home and I, yeah, I really love cooking, like I love-

• 1:18:25Speaker 01

  What's your favorite restaurant?

• 1:18:27Speaker 02

  Oh, my favorite restaurants, okay. So I love, I love a place called Sushi Yamamoto.

• 1:18:34Speaker 01

  Oh, okay, this is good to know. I need a new sushi place.

• 1:18:36Speaker 02

  Okay, it's amazing. It's a little bit pricey, but it's amazing. And it's like, very like, sneaky, like up in a thing. It's like, it, it's cool. And yeah, like, of course I love like Sushi Park and all that shit, but like, um, it's, uh, it's, it's really delicious and it's really cool. And then, I like, uh, I like Thai food a lot.

• 1:18:58Speaker 01

  I love Thai food.

• 1:18:58Speaker 02

  So like, I love like Chit Lada, Northern Thai Food Club. They're in Thai Town.

• 1:19:03Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:19:04Speaker 02

  Um, and I love like spicy BBQ, and then like, I love Mexican food.

• 1:19:08Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:19:08Speaker 02

  So I love like, you know, Marisco Jalisco, I love like Tacos La Unica, I love Hobosh, um-

• 1:19:14Speaker 01

  I've been to Hobosh.

• 1:19:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:19:15Speaker 01

  I got octopus talk, I got octopus tostadas from there once.

• 1:19:17Speaker 02

  So good. And I love like, I like like, I love like found oyster and stuff.

• 1:19:23Speaker 01

  You're putting me on to so many places.

• 1:19:25Speaker 02

  Have you been to Saffy's?

• 1:19:25Speaker 01

  Yes, I've been to Saffy's.

• 1:19:26Speaker 02

  Saffy's is yummy.

• 1:19:27Speaker 01

  You been to Carousel?

• 1:19:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, of course.

• 1:19:28Speaker 01

  I love Carousel.

• 1:19:29Speaker 02

  I love like Raffy's too and all that shit.

• 1:19:31Speaker 01

  Never been to Raffy's.

• 1:19:32Speaker 02

  Raffy's is good, and like mini kebab.

• 1:19:33Speaker 01

  Wait, maybe I have been to Raffy's.

• 1:19:34Speaker 02

  Raffy's is like the Persian Armenian place or-

• 1:19:37Speaker 01

  A little fancier.

• 1:19:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:19:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, I've been there.

• 1:19:40Speaker 02

  Then I like-

• 1:19:42Speaker 01

  I like Medaio.

• 1:19:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, Medaio's great, old school.

• 1:19:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:19:45Speaker 02

  Um, I like, uh, I usually cook Italian food when it's at home, cuz that's like-

• 1:19:49Speaker 01

  That's the one thing I cook too.

• 1:19:51Speaker 02

  Oh, you do?

• 1:19:51Speaker 01

  I make a pasta.

• 1:19:52Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:19:53Speaker 01

  I pour a bunch of olive oil in a pan.

• 1:19:55Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:19:56Speaker 01

  Cut up a bunch of tomatoes.

• 1:19:57Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:19:57Speaker 01

  Saute the tomatoes till the olive oil becomes like tomatoy olive oil.

• 1:20:00Speaker 02

  Beautiful.

• 1:20:01Speaker 01

  Then I make my pasta on the side, save a bunch of pasta water, pour the pasta in, pour the pasta water in, mix it all together and then I like add cheese and salt, call it a day.

• 1:20:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's fucking delicious.

• 1:20:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's great.

• 1:20:12Speaker 02

  Like, everything should be like simple, beautiful.

• 1:20:14Speaker 01

  What's your favorite thing to cook?

• 1:20:17Speaker 02

  Honestly, I cook so many different things.

• 1:20:19Speaker 01

  I really want you to cook for me.

• 1:20:20Speaker 02

  I will cook for you. I'll cook. Now that I know you like Italian, I'll cook you like a delicious Italian.

• 1:20:25Speaker 01

  Okay, I'm excited.

• 1:20:26Speaker 02

  We're gonna make like a, like a, I can either do like northern, like super, like kinda like.

• 1:20:30Speaker 01

  I like northern Italian.

• 1:20:31Speaker 02

  Or I could do like, you know, like chicken parmigiana. Yeah, yeah, okay, so we'll do like a tal- we'll do like beautiful Italian with like, with like a beautiful pasta, like maybe a seafood pasta, like a lobster pasta, like a spicy.

• 1:20:43Speaker 01

  Pasta.

• 1:20:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, we'll like do that, and I'll make like a beautiful like bread and, and make like a really good salad and maybe like a little bit of like steak, like a delicious.

• 1:20:53Speaker 01

  I love a steak.

• 1:20:53Speaker 02

  Like a delicious steak.

• 1:20:54Speaker 01

  I love a steak. How do you eat your steak?

• 1:20:57Speaker 02

  I'll like, I, first I'll like smoke it.

• 1:20:59Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:20:59Speaker 02

  On like a Traeger for like an hour, really slow, and get it like super smoking, then take it off and like sear it and give it like a butter bath with like, with like garlic, and then I'll rub your feet.

• 1:21:09Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:21:10Speaker 02

  Do you want me to rub your feet? Or it's like that the intimacy is too much?

• 1:21:13Speaker 01

  No, no, I like, I like having my feet rubbed.

• 1:21:15Speaker 02

  I can make you feel comfy.

• 1:21:16Speaker 01

  Like in like a massage setting, like in an intimate.

• 1:21:18Speaker 02

  I can make you feel like very comfortable.

• 1:21:20Speaker 01

  I'm sure you can. I went to a Valentine's Day celebration with my boyfriend and his family. I got really drunk and made out with his cousin. I really just wanna sweep this one under the rug, but I know I shouldn't. Help.

• 1:21:32Speaker 02

  Do they know?

• 1:21:33Speaker 01

  So it's, I don't know, but it does sound like you cheated on your boyfriend.

• 1:21:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's a no-no.

• 1:21:39Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 1:21:39Speaker 02

  That's bad. That's bad. That's, that's like really bad.

• 1:21:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:21:44Speaker 02

  You cheat on your boyfriend with his cousin?

• 1:21:46Speaker 01

  He definitely doesn't know.

• 1:21:48Speaker 02

  And he's not saying anything either? Like every, is everyone a bad person? The boyfriend's not.

• 1:21:53Speaker 01

  Well, the boyfriend's probab- she said she wants to sweep this one under the rug. It sounds like he doesn't know, maybe?

• 1:21:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, but like, so like she's like, might be bad.

• 1:22:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:22:05Speaker 02

  And like, the cousin is definitely, the cousin is definitely bad.

• 1:22:08Speaker 01

  Well, it sounds like she has a drinking problem.

• 1:22:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, and the cousin for sure is like, like asshole? Yeah.

• 1:22:15Speaker 01

  I would prescribe, uh, you know, blame it on the, uh, uh, uh, uh, alcohol. The Glee cover version.

• 1:22:21Speaker 02

  Oh, I was just talking about Jamie Foxx recently. I've never seen Glee. I know about it though, and I know everything about it.

• 1:22:27Speaker 01

  I mean, I would hope that you would know about Glee. They've done Teenage Dream twice.

• 1:22:31Speaker 02

  Really?

• 1:22:34Speaker 01

  I'm gonna be sick.

• 1:22:34Speaker 02

  I'm sorry.

• 1:22:35Speaker 01

  I'm gonna be sick.

• 1:22:36Speaker 02

  I'm sorry.

• 1:22:37Speaker 01

  What do you mean?

• 1:22:38Speaker 02

  Just shut up and read the next question.

• 1:22:40Speaker 01

  No, they did Teenage Dream once in all boy's school.

• 1:22:43Speaker 02

  And it was so good.

• 1:22:44Speaker 01

  It was fucking amazing. It was amazing, amazing, amazing.

• 1:22:48Speaker 02

  I'm so out of the loop. It's crazy.

• 1:22:50Speaker 01

  I can't believe you've never seen Glee. So they did Teenage Dream once and it was like, um, a bunch of, uh, uh, it was an all boy's school called, and there was an a cappella group called The Warblers. So they did the first Teenage Dream.

• 1:22:59Speaker 02

  I don't even know the concept of Glee.

• 1:23:01Speaker 01

  It's a Glee club in high school.

• 1:23:03Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 1:23:04Speaker 01

  So, and it was super major when they did it.

• 1:23:06Speaker 02

  Have you seen it?

• 1:23:06Speaker 01

  So, but then, when the guy in The Warblers breaks up with Kurt, uh, the guy in the other Glee club, he sings an acoustic rendition of Teenage Dream in a New York City bar.

• 1:23:17Speaker 02

  Did you lose your mind?

• 1:23:18Speaker 01

  I mean, like, my, shivers down my spine. Do you know what I'm talking about? It is one of the most iconic moments in Glee history.

• 1:23:26Speaker 02

  I love you.

• 1:23:28Speaker 01

  Thank you. I love you too.

• 1:23:31Speaker 02

  Okay, go to the next one.

• 1:23:32Speaker 01

  Okay, I, you know, you'll cook for me. I'll watch Glee with you.

• 1:23:35Speaker 02

  Okay. Is that our first date?

• 1:23:37Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:23:38Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:23:39Speaker 01

  I can't believe you haven't seen Glee. So many of your songs have been on Glee.

• 1:23:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, I guess so.

• 1:23:45Speaker 01

  I just met a guy and we hooked up. Well, it turns out he's married, he's 23, and now I just took a pregnancy test and it was positive. He will not return my text. What is a woman to do?

• 1:23:54Speaker 02

  I prescribe, uh, write a screenplay.

• 1:24:00Speaker 02

  That's crazy.

• 1:24:01Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:24:01Speaker 02

  What she just said is insane.

• 1:24:03Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:24:04Speaker 02

  Read it one more time.

• 1:24:05Speaker 01

  I just met a guy and we hooked up. Well, it turns out he's married, he's 23, and now I just took a pregnancy test and it was positive. He will not return my text. What is a woman to do?

• 1:24:14Speaker 02

  Buy a gun?

• 1:24:15Speaker 01

  Right, for him. And like...

• 1:24:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, get rid of him, maybe.

• 1:24:20Speaker 01

  Or, yeah, or that. That's crazy. I mean, I would definitely out him to his wife, for sure.

• 1:24:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, for sure. DM to the wife. DM to the wife first thing. First thing, right?

• 1:24:31Speaker 01

  Hmm, I wouldn't, hey girlie, a DM if, with a pregnancy. Like, I would like, maybe like, find her at work. I prescribe, once again, The Other Woman, best movie ever. Um, I would go to them at work and be like, yo, like, your husband fucked me and I am now pregnant and I did not know he was married. I'm so sorry. I'm either keeping the baby or I'm not. And just like, what do you want to do here personally? Cause like, we should stick together.

• 1:24:57Speaker 02

  I love it.

• 1:24:58Speaker 01

  Yeah. That's what I would do.

• 1:25:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, for sure.

• 1:25:03Speaker 01

  And then like maybe like plot revenge against him together.

• 1:25:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Together revenge? Is that the, the, the plot of other?

• 1:25:12Speaker 01

  Of the other woman? Yeah, they, they, they, each three. Or I also prescribe like John Tucker Must Die.

• 1:25:17Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:25:19Speaker 01

  So you do know pop culture?

• 1:25:20Speaker 02

  I've seen, I've seen that one.

• 1:25:22Speaker 01

  John Tucker Must Die?

• 1:25:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, I've seen that one.

• 1:25:23Speaker 01

  It's the best movie ever.

• 1:25:25Speaker 02

  What's that guy's name?

• 1:25:27Speaker 01

  John Tucker?

• 1:25:27Speaker 02

  No, his real name in real.

• 1:25:29Speaker 01

  Oh, of course, I don't know.

• 1:25:30Speaker 02

  Was he like your crush growing up?

• 1:25:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, I also thought he was very attractive.

• 1:25:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:25:34Speaker 01

  I also had a gay awakening with, um.

• 1:25:37Speaker 02

  With who?

• 1:25:38Speaker 01

  I forget now.

• 1:25:39Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:25:40Speaker 01

  Okay, well, that was our last Tell Me What's Wrong. So Benny, what did we learn today?

• 1:25:44Speaker 02

  Is this what happens? Oh, you ask people what they learned?

• 1:25:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, what did you learn?

• 1:25:49Speaker 02

  I learned that you're a really good guy and I learned that I feel like you deserve like the best type of love.

• 1:25:57Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 1:25:58Speaker 02

  Um, you might be the problem.

• 1:26:01Speaker 01

  I think.

• 1:26:01Speaker 02

  You might be a little bit selfish and maybe the problem, but like you need to find the right person that's gonna like tame your lion. And like put you in place when you need to be.

• 1:26:10Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 1:26:10Speaker 02

  And it sounds like you can make a good pasta and I can't wait to watch Glee with you.

• 1:26:15Speaker 01

  I learned that you have never seen Glee and you literally don't know how the songs you've made.

• 1:26:23Speaker 01

  Benny Blanco, thank you for coming on Therapists.

• 1:26:25Speaker 02

  I love you.

• 1:26:26Speaker 01

  I love you too.

• 1:26:27Speaker 02

  I love you guys too.

• 1:26:29Speaker 01

  This was the best.

• 1:26:30Speaker 02

  Was it good?

• 1:26:30Speaker 01

  Hey, this was amazing. Do you want to give a little bye pussies?

• 1:26:33Speaker 02

  Bye pussies.

• 1:26:34Speaker 01

  Bye pussies.

• 1:26:34Speaker 02

  Bye pussies.

• 1:26:45Speaker 06

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