CES 2015, Day 1

On this, the first official day of CES 2015, The Vergecast is a reflection on the day's experiences. Nilay Patel yells across the floor to Sony's booth, Chris Ziegler relinquishes control to a self-driving car, Chris Plante breaks things on the show floor, and special guest Joanna Stern has a selfie stick. Join us, won't you? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:05Nilay Patel?

  Hello and welcome to The Vergecast, day one of CS 2015. I am Neelai Patel.

• 0:10Speaker 01

  I am Chris Plant.

• 0:11Speaker 02

  Chris, Digler here.

• 0:12Nilay Patel?

  Super confusing.

• 0:13Speaker 03

  And I am special guest Joanna Stern.

• 0:15Nilay Patel?

  Joanna Stern, star Wall Street Journal reporter Joanna Stern. I don't even know if that's your title, is it fully star Wall Street Journal reporter?

• 0:22Speaker 03

  I like czar.

• 0:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, czar.

• 0:24Nilay Patel?

  Czar.

• 0:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 0:26Nilay Patel?

  Yeah.

• 0:27Speaker 03

  Yeah. Columnist.

• 0:29Nilay Patel?

  Duchess.

• 0:30Speaker 03

  Correspondent.

• 0:31Nilay Patel?

  Duchess of the Wall Street Journal.

• 0:32Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 0:33Nilay Patel?

  But no, it's always, every year at CS we have Joanna come back because Joanna is one of the founders of The Verge.

• 0:37Speaker 03

  A founding member.

• 0:38Nilay Patel?

  And an escaped convict of this insane asylum that we call a website. So it is day one, we had our first episode of the show yesterday. It was Chris and I and Dieter in this space at our booth, only everything was completely empty and there were forklifts everywhere.

• 0:55Speaker 01

  I wouldn't call it like an episode, it was like, it was a test run. It was like-

• 1:00Nilay Patel?

  It was an experience, it was a test experience.

• 1:01Speaker 02

  So I was talking to Google this morning and they had just listened to the episode and they said, "We loved the forklift conversation." They were really excited about it.

• 1:10Nilay Patel?

  That's, I don't understand-

• 1:12Speaker 03

  There were self-driving forklifts?

• 1:13Nilay Patel?

  No.

• 1:14Speaker 01

  There was a forklift driving another forklift.

• 1:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:18Nilay Patel?

  That was true.

• 1:19Speaker 03

  Made by Google.

• 1:20Nilay Patel?

  A lot of things happened today. I will say, we have end of every day at CS to publish a story that we think sort of wraps up the big theme of what we think the day will be. Today was Dieter, I would say the best headline and sub-headline combination in Verge history.

• 1:36Speaker 03

  Okay, no.

• 1:38Nilay Patel?

  The headline was, "We finally knows what come after the smartphone." The sub-head was, "Acronyms." Because it is true. Because the two biggest acronyms here that are happening everywhere are the Internet Things and the unfortunately and stupidly named ADAS.

• 1:54Nilay Patel?

  Go ahead, Chris, say what it means.

• 1:56Speaker 03

  What is the ADAS?

• 1:57Speaker 02

  Well, so, to be clear...

• 1:59Speaker 01

  What is the ADAS?

• 2:01Speaker 03

  And who came up with...

• 2:03Speaker 02

  It's Nvidia. It's an Nvidia term.

• 2:05Nilay Patel?

  Qualcomm used it.

• 2:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, but, so, these are vendors, right? This isn't the automotive industry.

• 2:11Nilay Patel?

  No, I've heard the people... Okay, go ahead.

• 2:13Speaker 02

  No one on a Ford stage or a Chevy stage in history has said, "Our new car has ADAS." That has not happened.

• 2:21Nilay Patel?

  Oh, but they will. That's a chilling vision of things to come.

• 2:24Speaker 02

  But, anyway, so, it's a collection of technologies that will enable things like anti-collision, self-driving, so on, so forth. And these are all things that are on the five to seven-year horizon. So, everybody is talking about it right now because they're working on the cars that will get this in five to seven years.

• 2:42Nilay Patel?

  And that's what I love about CES. There are the things that we're gonna... The technologies that will come to us five to seven years from now that require an enormous amount of human capital and investment

• 2:51Speaker 02

  And three-hour keynotes.

• 2:53Nilay Patel?

  And extensive keynotes. And then there's just Joanna with a selfie stick. And I would say the selfie stick is also one of the main innovations of CES.

• 3:00Speaker 03

  I agree.

• 3:01Nilay Patel?

  You did just take 850 pictures by accident with that thing.

• 3:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, but that's a feature.

• 3:08Speaker 03

  That's a feature of this selfie stick that I bought in a casino for, guess how much?

• 3:14Speaker 01

  Twenty dollars.

• 3:14Nilay Patel?

  Dignity.

• 3:16Speaker 03

  All of mine. Fifteen dollars.

• 3:18Nilay Patel?

  That's not bad. And you love this thing?

• 3:20Speaker 03

  Um, you know...

• 3:22Speaker 02

  How do you trigger it?

• 3:25Speaker 03

  Let me show you. Let me show you. So, there's a special button on the reverse side. We have to... The main problem here is that... Well, there's a lot of main problems.

• 3:34Speaker 02

  This is just not working at all.

• 3:37Nilay Patel?

  That's not even a good selfie.

• 3:39Speaker 03

  Did you embed the mic in my selfie stick? I'm being told I need to... I need a selfie mic stick holder.

• 3:45Nilay Patel?

  You got it.

• 3:47Speaker 03

  Oh, God.

• 3:48Speaker 02

  This is not working at all.

• 3:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:50Nilay Patel?

  What we're trying to...

• 3:51Speaker 03

  Okay, but I'm taking... I'm taking a lot of photos right now. They're all being taken.

• 3:54Nilay Patel?

  Okay, Joanna...

• 3:56Speaker 02

  We lost her.

• 3:57Nilay Patel?

  I would just say, if you are in your car and you're listening to this, as most of you are, what you just heard was someone not using a selfie stick.

• 4:05Speaker 03

  I was... Oh, now it's doing it. It's just taking thousands of photos.

• 4:11Nilay Patel?

  Burst...

• 4:11Speaker 03

  Burst mode is somehow...

• 4:14Nilay Patel?

  There you go.

• 4:15Speaker 03

  There you go.

• 4:16Nilay Patel?

  These people are not interested.

• 4:17Speaker 02

  I don't think anybody.

• 4:18Speaker 03

  We've already taken 135 photos.

• 4:20Nilay Patel?

  So Joanna, I don't want you to troubleshoot that while we move on with our show.

• 4:24Speaker 03

  I want to quickly talk about why I got this selfie stick, because I got to CES. Well, two stories.

• 4:30Speaker 02

  She just shut you down.

• 4:31Nilay Patel?

  Joanna was really worried that taping a bird's chest early without alcohol would somehow make it less crazy, but she was wrong.

• 4:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, you're right. I don't need alcohol to talk about my love for the selfie stick. Two things. One, I went to Times Square the other day, was shooting a video there, and everyone had a selfie stick. Meanwhile, my video was about how ridiculous you look when you take a photo with a tablet, but there were a lot of tablets, you know, the big tablet thing.

• 4:56Nilay Patel?

  Were they on sticks?

• 4:57Speaker 03

  They were not on sticks. Tablets, selfie sticks.

• 5:00Speaker 02

  I saw one. My first day, I saw a tablet on selfie stick here.

• 5:04Speaker 03

  You saw that? Really?

• 5:06Nilay Patel?

  Anyway, carry on.

• 5:07Speaker 03

  Anyway, that was the first thing where I realized, okay, this is huge. Then you guys wrote something about the selfie stick. There was a number of other people writing about the selfie stick. And then I got to CES on Sunday, and I kid you not, I like walked into CES Unveiled and I just saw a flood of reporters with selfie sticks. And I felt like I must up my game to cover CES this year with a selfie stick.

• 5:30Nilay Patel?

  Really?

• 5:31Speaker 03

  Yeah. We have to be competitive at the Wall Street Journal.

• 5:33Speaker 01

  What are some examples of how you've upped your game?

• 5:36Nilay Patel?

  So, she bought a stick?

• 5:37Speaker 03

  I bought a stick, and actually, this doubles as a walking stick as well.

• 5:42Nilay Patel?

  Oh, my God.

• 5:43Speaker 03

  I used that the other day when walking through the CES desert. No, but, I mean, people are, I mean, and it does help if you're shooting your own videos. I've seen a lot of that. I don't shoot my own videos, so that wasn't all that helpful to me.

• 5:54Speaker 02

  You're not selling it very well.

• 5:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:58Nilay Patel?

  Well, she's not selling her own personal selfie stick. This one is broken and takes hundreds of photos.

• 6:02Speaker 03

  I'm pursuing getting more selfie sticks.

• 6:06Speaker 01

  I like them. They get out of the way. I mean, you're talking about the tablet. The tablet, it ruins everything.

• 6:12Speaker 03

  It's true.

• 6:13Speaker 01

  I mean, I think that it gives a person a great photo. But you hold it above your head, and then you have another seven inches of like a screen for the person behind you to not see. But then somebody puts like a Chinese phone on a Chinese stick, you have like 30.

• 6:24Speaker 02

  But Apple made the great point.

• 6:28Nilay Patel?

  Tiny phones and tiny screens.

• 6:29Speaker 03

  And Apple makes a huge point about how you need the viewfinder, the big viewfinder in your face.

• 6:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:35Speaker 03

  Right? I actually did this review of the new Venu 8, which has this improved Intel RealSense camera. And so I kind of talked about like, well, can a better camera on a tablet make us want to actually take photos with a tablet? Turns out the camera's not that good, so no. But, you know.

• 6:51Nilay Patel?

  By the way, I would like to... That is about as precise a summary of the Joanna Stern.

• 6:57Speaker 03

  Review.

• 6:57Nilay Patel?

  Like, life.

• 6:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's pretty true.

• 6:59Nilay Patel?

  Is this hope real? No, because Dell made it.

• 7:05Nilay Patel?

  I edited like a thousand of those reviews of yours.

• 7:07Speaker 03

  That's true. He used to edit many of my Dell Netbook reviews, which, um... Yeah. But Dell came out with a really cool laptop today.

• 7:16Nilay Patel?

  They came out with an edge-to-edge screen. So I will say this: there are no tablets at this show.

• 7:20Speaker 03

  Nope.

• 7:21Nilay Patel?

  I haven't... Like, I see tablets. I interviewed like an older CEO today. He had an iPad and like a really old BlackBerry. And basically, like, I took in the gestalt of that scene. I was like, well, your company is doomed. But that's it. That was like basically the only iPad I see.

• 7:35Speaker 02

  Business gets done on BlackBerry, Neelai.

• 7:37Nilay Patel?

  Yeah, and then you use your iPad to brush the weather.

• 7:40Speaker 03

  Or the typo keyboard.

• 7:41Nilay Patel?

  I've seen lots of phones and I've seen lots of Internet of Things, things that plug into cloud services and then phones. But no one here is showing a tablet of any kind, as far as I can tell.

• 7:51Speaker 03

  Well, Dell announced this Venu 8 today.

• 7:53Nilay Patel?

  The Venu 8 was announced, but like...

• 7:54Speaker 03

  Right.

• 7:55Nilay Patel?

  The reviews are all out. It's like a big splashy announce, right? Where people have had them. Then they're... What is it?

• 7:59Speaker 03

  No, I think I'm at the first review.

• 8:00Nilay Patel?

  What's the laptop that came out today? The edge-to-edge screen?

• 8:03Speaker 03

  Oh, the XPS.

• 8:05Nilay Patel?

  Yeah, I think that's actually a more, far more interesting product than the tablet. You're never gonna get... I don't know.

• 8:12Speaker 03

  I mean, to me, what was really... I wanted to review the venue because I thought the Intel RealSense thing, you were seeing all those commercials with Sheldon. Have you guys seen those?

• 8:20Speaker 02

  Sadly, yes, I have.

• 8:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, Sheldon shows up to a wedding with a huge tablet and he can refocus the photos or his...

• 8:26Speaker 01

  Sheldon's from the Big Bang Theory.

• 8:28Speaker 03

  You know who Sheldon is?

• 8:29Nilay Patel?

  I don't watch CBS.

• 8:30Speaker 02

  You know his name isn't actually Sheldon.

• 8:32Speaker 03

  What is his real name?

• 8:33Speaker 01

  Jim.

• 8:34Speaker 02

  Jim Parsons, yes.

• 8:35Speaker 03

  Right. Anyway, Sheldon is really into the RealSense camera.

• 8:38Nilay Patel?

  Anyway, whatever reality.

• 8:39Speaker 03

  And, yeah, Sheldon's really into the RealSense camera. And I was into this, the RealSense thing as well. They're gonna do some really cool things with it, and so, you know, eventually. It's similar to the one in the HTC one, the camera, the... What do they call it?

• 8:53Speaker 02

  Oh, Ultra Pixels?

• 8:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, the tap to focus thing. But now they use three different cameras. Anyway, I see you guys are not interested in my real talk. I'm curious, I mean if Jim's interested, I'm interested. Yeah, Sheldon is super into it, he is. And Sheldon has an XPS, Dell, on the show.

• 9:10Nilay Patel?

  No, I'm just saying, I think it's really interesting that tablets are basically not here. The most interesting laptop I've seen is the Dell one. And then, Apple, in its way, once again, tried to break CS with a big leak. And you can discuss the provenance of this leak any way that you want. But 95 Mac, basically released, like, renderings of a rumored 12-inch MacBook. Or MacBook Air. I think it will just be called the MacBook and be like the low-end, cheap, netbook-y Chromebook one, because that's what's missing in their line. And that's like Chromebooks are going in education.

• 9:44Speaker 03

  You think that's a low-end product?

• 9:46Nilay Patel?

  Not like a...it's Apple, so I think it'll be less expensive.

• 9:50Speaker 02

  How do they differentiate that from the 11?

• 9:52Nilay Patel?

  I think they killed the 11.

• 9:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think they killed the 11. The...I think they probably ends up killing the 11, but definitely keeping the 13-inch and the low end. And I think that this 12-inch might be higher end.

• 10:04Nilay Patel?

  I disagree.

• 10:05Speaker 02

  I'm on team joining here.

• 10:06Nilay Patel?

  So, Tom, we should just get into this. So, Apple, again, on the first day of CES, is in the news. It's just standard. It's actually surprising that Apple didn't like...Apple could do anything, right? Last year, they released like their supplier responsibility reports.

• 10:20Speaker 03

  Oh, right, that was...

• 10:21Nilay Patel?

  And it was like a big deal. This year, it's a bunch of leaked MacBooks. And you can believe or not that it happened on purpose, time to this day. It's, I think, a little too coincidental, but whatever. But, I will say...

• 10:34Speaker 03

  We're talking about Mark Gurman's leak, right?

• 10:36Nilay Patel?

  Yeah.

• 10:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:38Nilay Patel?

  I just think it's very suspicious to me that it's on this day.

• 10:40Speaker 03

  I don't know, it's a lot of inside baseball, but I'm not sure his...that would be his sources.

• 10:45Nilay Patel?

  Interesting.

• 10:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:47Nilay Patel?

  I know, it's my theory, it is this day. Anyway, so the leak was a really, really thin 12-inch MacBook Air with no connectors except for one USB Type-C connector, which is the new reversible one. And then Tom Warren went digging through USB specs and found that Apple has like more engineers on that product than anyone except for Intel. Like more than Dell, more than HP, more than Foxconn. Like they're driving that standard, the way that they tend to drive like SIM card standards.

• 11:13Speaker 03

  Right.

• 11:14Nilay Patel?

  And the thing is so thin that Broadwell won't work in it because Broadwell needs a fan. But what Intel chip will work in it is CoreM which can drive like a retina display, which is why we like landed on, this is more of a Chromebook thing. Which I think is brilliant, because I think the iPad broke.

• 11:29Speaker 03

  So you don't think it has a very high resolution because of the limitations?

• 11:33Nilay Patel?

  No, I think it has a high-res screen, but I think it has very little like raw processor power. I think it'll be great at browsing the web and typing some stuff and like running.

• 11:41Speaker 03

  And to me-

• 11:41Nilay Patel?

  And doing all the stuff I do with this very expensive laptop.

• 11:44Speaker 03

  Right. To me it sounds, and that's why I think it might be higher-end, to me it sounds like a product like the original MacBook Air was, right? And no ports, right? Now seriously, no ports.

• 11:57Nilay Patel?

  Yeah, USB and a headphone.

• 11:59Speaker 02

  And think of the genesis of the original MacBook Air, Steve Jobs swore up and down that he would never release a crappy laptop. And granted, it's not Steve Jobs' Apple anymore, but-

• 12:09Nilay Patel?

  I just, I just think like, I think the Mac is having like a little bit of a renaissance and PCs are back. I think these things have-

• 12:17Speaker 03

  I also heard gadgets are back.

• 12:19Nilay Patel?

  Gadgets are back. This show's about gadgets, man. I don't care what you say.

• 12:21Speaker 03

  I'm so happy that you think gadgets are back.

• 12:23Nilay Patel?

  Because your career is safe.

• 12:24Speaker 03

  I still have a job. It's so, it's great that they're back.

• 12:29Nilay Patel?

  Apps are cool. Selfie sticks are huge.

• 12:33Speaker 03

  This is the best gadget of 2015.

• 12:35Nilay Patel?

  Don't wave that thing at me.

• 12:39Nilay Patel?

  So that's the thing. I mean, look, those are the two prevailing theories. One that's high-end and one that's more low-end.

• 12:43Speaker 03

  Also, I think that trackpad stuff he talked about is gonna be really big.

• 12:47Nilay Patel?

  Yeah?

• 12:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, cuz it doesn't look like they'll bring a touchscreen to something like that unless we're gonna see some other version of Mac operating system, which I don't think we're gonna see if they're releasing this sometime soon. And he talked about how the trackpad doesn't actually have the click. I think that's, I think there'll probably be some crazy touch stuff going on there.

• 13:06Speaker 02

  Well, then I won't buy it. I mean, I won't, I won't buy a computer that has a trackpad that doesn't click. That's nonsense.

• 13:12Nilay Patel?

  Right. Alright.

• 13:14Speaker 03

  I will buy it.

• 13:14Nilay Patel?

  So that's that. And then...

• 13:16Speaker 03

  I mean, this is, I've been waiting for this moment. I cannot wait for this.

• 13:19Nilay Patel?

  For a 12-inch MacBook Air?

• 13:20Speaker 03

  I just cannot wait for a new MacBook Air.

• 13:22Nilay Patel?

  Okay, so just the fact that we're having this conversation on this stage here at CES in the looming shadow of Sony City. The walls of which I will one day scale.

• 13:32Speaker 01

  Everyone turns and pays homage.

• 13:34Nilay Patel?

  Yeah, that circle is Sony. You should go check it out, guys. They, uh, they make a bunch of TVs, I guess. Alright.

• 13:39Speaker 03

  Are they a sponsor?

• 13:41Nilay Patel?

  Sony?

• 13:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 13:42Nilay Patel?

  No.

• 13:42Speaker 01

  Mustang, but no.

• 13:43Nilay Patel?

  No, no, that's, alright. Look at the car.

• 13:44Speaker 01

  Only that beautiful Ford Mustang.

• 13:46Nilay Patel?

  Everyone gazes at the car. I'll do it later. You know when you open the door of the car, it shines a Mustang on the ground? It's true.

• 13:52Speaker 01

  Which is terrible if you're trying to break into someone's house. Not that you should ever do that with a Ford Mustang.

• 13:57Nilay Patel?

  No, that's your getaway car.

• 13:58Speaker 02

  You know, internally...

• 13:59Nilay Patel?

  So fast, so powerful.

• 14:00Speaker 02

  When they were developing that...

• 14:01Nilay Patel?

  So smooth.

• 14:02Speaker 02

  When they were developing that, internally it's known, known as the Neely Light.

• 14:05Nilay Patel?

  Yeah. The one that makes me buy a car.

• 14:09Nilay Patel?

  This really worked out in terms of a sponsor that makes a product that I want, that I will never buy.

• 14:13Speaker 01

  Guys, can we talk about that computer?

• 14:14Nilay Patel?

  I live in Manhattan.

• 14:15Speaker 01

  One more second. Why, it's wonderful. Cuz it's the same thing with the MacBook Air. That is the screenwriter computer. That is, and that's where the market is. That's the guy who is sitting in the cafe, wants the thing that is light as possible and looks nice, and is like, kinda small and like, little, you know, boutique, and he's gonna have his nice hat, and he's gonna like, write his little screenplay on it.

• 14:33Nilay Patel?

  You're literally making the Iverg chipster comment right now.

• 14:35Speaker 01

  And he's like, listening to like, John August on his podcast, and he's like, "Yeah, you're right. I did learn Charles'...

• 14:39Nilay Patel?

  I mean, you, you, 100%. A, I'd like to point out, we are in a coffee shop that we built where many of these people have MacBooks.

• 14:46Speaker 01

  Wait, this is an Iverg argument? That made it sound...

• 14:48Speaker 03

  And they're all listening to that artist.

• 14:49Nilay Patel?

  You just made the argument sound good.

• 14:51Speaker 03

  But they're all listening to them right now.

• 14:52Speaker 01

  I did not know that that didn't sound good.

• 14:54Nilay Patel?

  I mean, it made it sound like, it made it sound like you were saying it.

• 14:58Speaker 01

  Like they're like, oh, I should be writing, but I guess what's on our NSFW?

• 15:02Speaker 02

  Let me, let me, let me take this.

• 15:03Nilay Patel?

  Dude, you're a barista.

• 15:05Speaker 02

  Let me take this to a darker place. I think of it more as the computer for Bradley Cooper's character from Limitless before he starts taking the pills.

• 15:11Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 15:12Speaker 02

  So he's in a really bad place in his life.

• 15:14Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 15:14Speaker 02

  He's trying to finish his book. He's not succeeding. All of his stuff sucks in his life, including all, you know, his gear, right? Because he's poor. He has nothing.

• 15:24Speaker 01

  Somebody saw Limitless and it was you.

• 15:26Speaker 03

  I did not see this.

• 15:27Speaker 02

  It affected me deeply. Anyway, that's, that's where I think this computer's gonna land. It's the demographic.

• 15:32Nilay Patel?

  It's the pills. The 12-inch Mac Legere helps you use 100% of your brain capacity.

• 15:36Speaker 02

  Yes. That's the ad campaign right there.

• 15:38Nilay Patel?

  A gambling mastermind.

• 15:40Speaker 01

  And make a better movie called Lucy.

• 15:42Nilay Patel?

  Yeah, fair.

• 15:44Speaker 01

  It's a movie joke.

• 15:45Nilay Patel?

  So Chris, you've been driving cars for three days now. Tell me what's going on in cars. That's why you're on the show. Do the thing, do the thing that you do.

• 15:51Speaker 02

  Well, I can't be on the show just because I'm cool, just because I'm a cool dude. I have to, I have to drive cars. Is that what I'm hearing?

• 15:56Nilay Patel?

  Dude, Chris is having his own private CES.

• 15:59Speaker 02

  I have, I've, I've heard this joke. It's not a joke. It's absolutely true. People have told this to me at least a half dozen times since yesterday. They're like, just go do your private CES. We get it. We get you can't go to this event.

• 16:12Nilay Patel?

  Yeah.

• 16:13Speaker 02

  You're off doing whatever.

• 16:14Nilay Patel?

  You can't see Samsung's floating lady.

• 16:16Speaker 03

  You only can cover cars?

• 16:18Nilay Patel?

  I will say this, though. Chris has promised me a self-driving Knight Rider car tomorrow.

• 16:22Speaker 02

  It's true.

• 16:23Nilay Patel?

  So I'm ready for that.

• 16:24Speaker 02

  It's true. It's happening.

• 16:25Nilay Patel?

  That's the only reason this is allowed.

• 16:26Speaker 02

  It's, it's all happening for you right now.

• 16:27Speaker 03

  Did Ford have big news this morning? They had a, that?

• 16:30Speaker 02

  Ford, so I, I was on my way to another event and Ford released something like 35 press releases in the span of a minute and my heart dropped and I, I looked through it. Yeah. So they're, they're doing some really interesting stuff. The, the combined package of all these releases is called Smart Mobility, which is, you know, buzz phrase. But they're getting into car sharing. They have like four or five different car sharing experiments that they're running globally, which seems counter-

• 16:58Speaker 02

  ...intuitive because they're cannibalizing their own business.

• 17:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:01Speaker 02

  Right, but um, so I was just talking to them at their booth, and they raised the good point, which is that car sharing is going to happen whether they're involved or not.

• 17:10Nilay Patel?

  Really?

• 17:10Speaker 02

  So they might as well get ahead of it, right?

• 17:12Nilay Patel?

  Yeah.

• 17:12Speaker 02

  Um, so that's kind of their attitude. They're like, "Look, we just want to be on the leading edge." Like, yes, it might be bad for our business, but at least we want to be at the front of it instead of at the back of it.

• 17:20Speaker 03

  Right. If there are going to be shared cars, they want there to be Fords.

• 17:23Speaker 02

  Exactly. Um, so...

• 17:25Nilay Patel?

  I'd like to share that Mustang with my...

• 17:27Speaker 02

  With, just with you.

• 17:28Speaker 03

  Where is this Mustang you're talking about? Is it really there?

• 17:30Speaker 02

  You can barely see it back there.

• 17:31Nilay Patel?

  It's there. It's blue.

• 17:32Speaker 03

  Right there?

• 17:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:33Nilay Patel?

  Yeah. Now, that's just a guy.

• 17:36Speaker 03

  That man said that it's right there.

• 17:38Nilay Patel?

  I'm sorry that you're gonna name me Mustang.

• 17:39Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. I think he told me that it matches my shirt.

• 17:41Nilay Patel?

  Everyone standing by the car is now named Mustang.

• 17:43Speaker 03

  It matches my shirt.

• 17:44Nilay Patel?

  That's, if you just walk over there and touch it, you can nickname yourself Mustang for the rest of the day.

• 17:48Speaker 03

  He said that that was mine, because my shirt is blue and the car is blue.

• 17:51Nilay Patel?

  What?

• 17:52Speaker 01

  John Mustang Doe.

• 17:53Nilay Patel?

  That's, that's, that's the experience we offer here at The Verge.

• 17:56Speaker 02

  You realize you...

• 17:57Nilay Patel?

  If you touch our car, you can give yourself a nickname, as long as it's the name of the car.

• 18:00Speaker 02

  You have to name...

• 18:01Nilay Patel?

  Tomorrow, we're bringing in a Fiesta.

• 18:04Nilay Patel?

  Fiesta plants, like, walking out of here.

• 18:06Speaker 02

  You have to name your child Mustang Patel.

• 18:08Speaker 03

  It's really interesting.

• 18:09Nilay Patel?

  Oh, we will. And then that child will either be a stripper or a stripper. That'll be great.

• 18:13Speaker 02

  Anyway, uh, so yesterday, I spent part of the day with BMW, which is one of the freakiest demos ever done. Last year, um, they did a self-drifting car. BMW loves to do spectacular stuff at CES. They have done it for a while. Uh, yesterday, they did, um, two I3s, one of which, they encouraged to have me drive as fast as possible into a wall. Uh, so I did that, and the car stopped itself automatically.

• 18:37Nilay Patel?

  Really?

• 18:38Speaker 02

  Uh, yes. And so they set up this course of, it looks like Super Mario blocks, um, except that they want you to run into them. And as you get close, the car very politely and softly beeps at you, uh, and then it just stops. But what's freaky is that it stops with like, a half inch before you hit the object. And then they're like, "Okay, now turn into this wall, so the side of the car is gonna scrape, won't let you." Uh, then they ask you to parallel park it.

• 19:03Nilay Patel?

  So it's like driving a car in a force field?

• 19:05Speaker 02

  Basically. Yes. This is the future. Your car is going to become uncrashable and it's kind of amazing. So that was the first demo. And then the second demo was a self-parking car where you get out and then use your smart watch. They were using a Samsung Galaxy or Gear S. You tap a button on the watch and the car just slowly wanders off and finds a spot.

• 19:26Speaker 03

  That's awesome.

• 19:27Speaker 02

  What? Yeah. And then you press it again and it comes back to you.

• 19:31Speaker 03

  I actually, I'm gonna, I followed this little trend. I interviewed Android Auto's Andy Brenner, I don't know what his title is, today. But I was asking about the integration that could happen with the smart, with Google, with Gear, not Gear, with Wear and Android Auto. And it seems like that could be something really cool.

• 19:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:51Speaker 03

  Like, either I have my phone or my watch out. So the idea for unlocking the keys or that kind of thing, remembering where your parking spot is, your location, that seems really cool.

• 20:04Speaker 02

  And Hyundai's already doing this. They showed their Blue Link Android Wear app where you can

• 20:09Speaker 03

  Oh, right.

• 20:10Speaker 02

  You can start the car, stop the car, lock the doors remotely. You know, if my car was parked...

• 20:15Speaker 03

  Is there some sort of authentication thing that's happening?

• 20:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's a four-digit PIN.

• 20:19Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 20:20Speaker 02

  So theoretically, if somebody stole your watch and knew your PIN, they could start your engine in another state.

• 20:24Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 20:25Speaker 02

  But as long as you don't run into that situation. So with the BMW, on the return trip, I got into the car in the passenger seat with no one else in the car. And I cannot tell you what an uncomfortable experience that is.

• 20:38Speaker 03

  Really?

• 20:39Speaker 02

  To have a car drive itself.

• 20:41Nilay Patel?

  That's my dream.

• 20:42Speaker 02

  It would actually freak me out less if it was going at highway speeds, but the fact that it was going like five miles an hour, just kind of meandering back and forth and turning very carefully while I'm sitting in the passenger seat, just hoping it doesn't take off, is...

• 20:54Nilay Patel?

  Like the Nvidia demo car?

• 20:56Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 20:57Nilay Patel?

  Constantly accelerating 160 miles an hour. That sounds like a very advanced system for driver assistance.

• 21:04Speaker 02

  It is, and...

• 21:05Nilay Patel?

  Like an ADAS of some kind.

• 21:07Speaker 02

  It is an ADAS of some kind. Two years ago...

• 21:10Speaker 03

  What is the word?

• 21:11Nilay Patel?

  Advanced Driver Assistance System.

• 21:12Speaker 03

  No, but how do you spell that?

• 21:14Speaker 02

  ADAS.

• 21:15Speaker 03

  A-D-A-S.

• 21:17Speaker 02

  Right.

• 21:18Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 21:19Nilay Patel?

  ADAS.

• 21:20Speaker 03

  I was thinking, anyway, I know.

• 21:21Speaker 02

  You're thinking the number eight and then the word "ass."

• 21:23Speaker 03

  Yes, that is what I was thinking.

• 21:24Nilay Patel?

  Yeah, and that is actually, that's Nvidia's code name. It's really confused. It got messed up along the way.

• 21:31Speaker 03

  Or ATE ass is what I was thinking too.

• 21:35Speaker 02

  It just keeps getting worse.

• 21:36Speaker 01

  Got it.

• 21:36Nilay Patel?

  Joanna, why do we let you on the show?

• 21:38Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 21:39Speaker 01

  It's okay. I was thinking about how the number eight, if you turn it sideways, kind of looks like an ass. So it'd be like, eight ass.

• 21:44Speaker 02

  That's the infinity symbol.

• 21:45Speaker 03

  That is smart.

• 21:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, well.

• 21:47Speaker 03

  That is really...

• 21:48Nilay Patel?

  Guys, this is the worst branding campaign that has ever taken place.

• 21:50Speaker 03

  No, that is the name of our next company. That is an amazing logo idea for an amazing company name.

• 21:56Speaker 02

  I want a button in the center of the table that's an off the rails alert. And you hit it when...

• 22:01Nilay Patel?

  It's a button.

• 22:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:02Speaker 01

  You just keep your hand down the entire...

• 22:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, and there's like a reggae horn that goes off. Anyway, so...

• 22:09Nilay Patel?

  I will say this. I was interviewing somebody just near the LG booth, which is also near the House of Marley booth. And they were like, "I'm very sorry, this reggae music never stops playing."

• 22:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, but that's kind of chill. I mean, that's a good scene. If you're going to be in CES, I'd want to be near the House of Marley booth.

• 22:26Nilay Patel?

  It was just really, he was just like, "I'm very sorry, your audio is going to be all messed up because this reggae music never stops."

• 22:33Speaker 02

  By like day 10, your ears are bleeding. You're like, "Please."

• 22:36Nilay Patel?

  Well, no, we are stuck. Our trailer is near the Volkswagen demo of the self-parking cars.

• 22:43Speaker 03

  They muted my mic. They definitely muted my mic.

• 22:46Speaker 01

  No, you're here.

• 22:47Nilay Patel?

  I hope. Well, as soon as you start...

• 22:49Speaker 03

  They're like, "Okay, just mute her mic."

• 22:50Nilay Patel?

  As soon as you started your, like, unlicensed focus group all on your own.

• 22:54Speaker 03

  I'm well, not I am.

• 22:55Nilay Patel?

  Worst brainstorm of all time. I'm just laying it out there.

• 22:58Speaker 03

  The eight looks like an ass. It's amazing.

• 23:00Nilay Patel?

  You gotta stop saying it. Also, stop sexualizing numbers.

• 23:04Speaker 01

  It helps if you close your eyes.

• 23:05Speaker 03

  Numbers are very sexy.

• 23:07Nilay Patel?

  We're done. That was the show. It was 25 minutes long. We're done. CES 2015.

• 23:13Speaker 01

  You ever look close at number three?

• 23:14Nilay Patel?

  We don't have booth babes. We're just printing numbers everywhere.

• 23:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, Joanna's right.

• 23:19Nilay Patel?

  No, no, he's over there. He can't, unless he's doing it with his mind, he's not doing it.

• 23:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, Joanna's off the air now. We took her off the air.

• 23:26Nilay Patel?

  I'm fine with it.

• 23:35Nilay Patel?

  Wow.

• 23:35Speaker 02

  Technical challenges.

• 23:39Nilay Patel?

  Okay, great. Well, while they solve that, continue your stories about cars.

• 23:43Speaker 02

  Well, so I'll just say that the rate of advancement in this field is ridiculous, because two years ago Audi did a demo, a self-parking demo, where they needed to set up all of these special beacons in the parking garage so that the car could understand where to go. And they don't need that anymore, because the sensors that they put around the cars are so advanced that they can map the environment in real time and park that way. So they don't need, the parking garage doesn't need to be outfitted for self-parking anymore. You can park anywhere.

• 24:15Speaker 01

  But that's the scary part. That's the thing we were talking briefly about yesterday with Nvidia's ADAS, when it's like, "Oh, it's going to learn. First it'll learn the signs, then it'll learn the people, then it'll learn how democracy works."

• 24:30Nilay Patel?

  Then this car will be president.

• 24:33Speaker 03

  Then it will learn how to do keynotes.

• 24:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:35Nilay Patel?

  Then it will get the oil.

• 24:41Speaker 01

  Man, the keynotes have been delivered by cars the whole time.

• 24:45Nilay Patel?

  No, that's good.

• 24:46Speaker 03

  I mean, but this is the thing I feel like always with auto stuff at CES, we see all this crazy blank, and... Do we curse on here still? I forget.

• 24:56Nilay Patel?

  It's like a...

• 24:57Speaker 02

  Ish, you can say ish.

• 24:58Speaker 03

  A lot of the rules have changed.

• 24:59Nilay Patel?

  You're allowed to curse in the roadcast until Apple develops filtering software good enough to catch it, and then not give us the explicit tag in iTunes.

• 25:06Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 25:06Nilay Patel?

  It's a little inside baseball, which is, Apple doesn't have robots listening to this show.

• 25:09Speaker 03

  For the cheap map from here, that's not gonna be cheap.

• 25:12Nilay Patel?

  I mean, look, you've already talked about boning numbers, like, great details.

• 25:16Speaker 03

  I did.

• 25:16Nilay Patel?

  At this point, what do we have left to lose?

• 25:18Speaker 03

  Love numbers. But I feel like, we always see all this great stuff, and then the reality comes that our society is not moving fast enough to allow us to have any of this great stuff. And I get very angry that we don't have great stuff.

• 25:30Speaker 02

  I've heard that exact message from several executives this week. And gadgets are back.

• 25:35Nilay Patel?

  Wait, we have, what, the society doesn't move fast enough for our cars to drive themselves?

• 25:39Speaker 02

  But gadgets are not mired in a regulatory nightmare, cars are. And so, that's what everybody is saying, is that the technology, as always, is moving much faster than the government is, it's a shocker. And so, we're going to end up with a perfect, or close to perfect, self-driving car, long before agencies are gonna know what to do about it.

• 26:01Nilay Patel?

  We need a super cool nickname for people who like...

• 26:06Nilay Patel?

  Have illegal self-driving cars. Like free riders.

• 26:10Speaker 02

  And then make a movie starring Tom Hardy.

• 26:13Speaker 03

  Like owning.

• 26:14Nilay Patel?

  You'll have the car, but it'll be illegal.

• 26:16Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 26:16Nilay Patel?

  Right? So like.

• 26:17Speaker 02

  You have this underground society of like self-drivers.

• 26:20Nilay Patel?

  Drive their cars. People who are just like, they're in the driver's seat pretending to.

• 26:24Speaker 03

  Some sort of like.

• 26:25Nilay Patel?

  But like they're wearing sunglasses, but really they're asleep.

• 26:29Speaker 03

  Feel like a Weekend at Bernie's. You have Weekend at Bernie's.

• 26:32Speaker 01

  Find a dead, late, late relative. Put him in the driver's seat.

• 26:38Speaker 03

  Bernie, we need Weekend at Bernie's.

• 26:40Nilay Patel?

  The Weekend at Bernie's franchise.

• 26:41Speaker 03

  I keep calling him Weekend at Bernie's man. His name is Bernie.

• 26:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:44Speaker 03

  We need Bernie.

• 26:46Nilay Patel?

  No, Weekend at Bernie's, Weekend at Bernick Man is the next episode.

• 26:49Speaker 01

  Wait, and then.

• 26:50Speaker 03

  You put Bernie in the front seat and you just sit while he drives you to work.

• 26:55Nilay Patel?

  That's what I'm saying. Weekend at Bernie's 2025, self-drive. That's the name of the movie that I'm pitching.

• 27:00Speaker 02

  Just bring back all the original.

• 27:01Nilay Patel?

  I don't know if anyone from Sony Pictures is over there in Sony City. But we have a great idea for Weekend at Bernie's 2025.

• 27:09Speaker 03

  No, that is a really interesting idea.

• 27:11Nilay Patel?

  It's not a really interesting idea.

• 27:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, I like it.

• 27:14Speaker 01

  It's gonna be called Eight Ass.

• 27:15Speaker 03

  That's our company idea. We find the corpses. We network.

• 27:21Speaker 01

  We get eight asses put in eight car seats.

• 27:23Nilay Patel?

  No, everyone's stopping.

• 27:24Speaker 03

  We bring them together.

• 27:25Nilay Patel?

  Joanna, tell us more about yourself.

• 27:26Speaker 02

  A social network for corpses where you can connect with them.

• 27:29Speaker 03

  No, you put them in the driver's seat when you have your illegal self-driving car. And then you're able to drive yourself to work.

• 27:35Speaker 02

  Or the corpse.

• 27:36Nilay Patel?

  I don't think the requirement is just a body, living or dead.

• 27:40Speaker 02

  Tinder for corpses.

• 27:43Speaker 01

  Swipe left.

• 27:44Speaker 03

  No, the.

• 27:44Speaker 01

  Swipe left.

• 27:45Speaker 03

  I'm not sure you guys understand the idea. You guys understand the idea?

• 27:48Nilay Patel?

  I'm very clear on the idea. The idea does not have contours. The idea is pretty straightforward.

• 27:55Speaker 03

  You think it's clear?

• 27:55Nilay Patel?

  It's, yeah.

• 27:56Speaker 03

  We'll be talking about it.

• 27:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 27:58Nilay Patel?

  Are there any investors, like any VCs with something to prove? Joanna Stern has an idea for you. It's robbing.

• 28:04Speaker 03

  Chris's and it also.

• 28:05Nilay Patel?

  It's robbing more.

• 28:05Speaker 02

  Terrifying.

• 28:06Speaker 03

  Okay, we hijacked your conversation.

• 28:08Speaker 02

  I don't even remember what I was talking about.

• 28:10Speaker 01

  Cars.

• 28:11Speaker 02

  Cars, yes, cars.

• 28:12Speaker 01

  What, I do have a question to go back into the deep. What is required legally to have a car? It's like, I have a self-driving car. How much do I have to touch the wheel before it becomes illegal?

• 28:25Speaker 02

  So, right now...

• 28:27Speaker 01

  That makes sense, right?

• 28:28Nilay Patel?

  How much do you have to not touch the wheel?

• 28:29Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, sure, well, yeah, before it becomes illegal, yeah.

• 28:31Speaker 02

  So, the NHTSA, the National Highway Safety Transportation Administration is the worst.

• 28:38Nilay Patel?

  Okay.

• 28:39Speaker 02

  They have four levels of self-driving that they've defined. Level one is like cruise control. You know, level two is adaptive cruise and then goes up to level four, which is where you can basically sleep.

• 28:52Speaker 02

  And lower levels are... Not totally clear on the regulatory framework here, but the lower levels are obviously legal. And the higher levels are being approved on a provisional basis on a state-by-state level. So, like, Florida is allowing self-driving cars for testing purposes. California is, of course. And Nevada is. So, actually, Audi was able to drive a self-driving car from Palo Alto to Vegas this week.

• 29:21Nilay Patel?

  Right. I would not be surprised...

• 29:23Speaker 03

  With no one in the driver's seat.

• 29:24Speaker 02

  Right. Well, no, no, no, they had someone in the driver's seat, yeah.

• 29:27Nilay Patel?

  Right, but I wouldn't be surprised if, like, Florida is totally first to completely allow self-driving cars.

• 29:34Speaker 02

  Because they're all olds.

• 29:35Nilay Patel?

  Because they have a super elderly population.

• 29:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:36Nilay Patel?

  And like, the second I can buy my parents a self-driving car, I will.

• 29:39Speaker 01

  What about a self-driving go-kart or a golf cart?

• 29:41Speaker 03

  Yeah. I was in Florida a couple of weeks ago. It is so bad on the roads.

• 29:45Nilay Patel?

  It's such a waste of technology.

• 29:46Speaker 01

  What?

• 29:47Speaker 03

  What?

• 29:47Speaker 01

  Have you ever been to the villages in Florida? That's gajillions of dollars. It's like a...

• 29:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's how they get around.

• 29:53Speaker 01

  The giant city of...

• 29:56Speaker 02

  A utopia.

• 29:57Speaker 01

  ...elderly people. And it is a utopia. They all make love.

• 30:00Speaker 02

  It is a...

• 30:00Speaker 01

  They do. A giant STD rate. It's awful. It's like Florida State. Anyway...

• 30:06Speaker 03

  Geriatric STDs.

• 30:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, they don't have nothing to lose. You know, live life to the fullest.

• 30:10Nilay Patel?

  I feel like I'm not doing a good job hosting this show.

• 30:12Speaker 01

  Anyway, my point is, they have like tons of golf cart areas.

• 30:15Speaker 03

  No, I was there. I was in Florida two weeks ago.

• 30:18Speaker 01

  And then they have the golf carts.

• 30:19Speaker 03

  And got a geriatric STD.

• 30:20Speaker 02

  They're not red dolls. You can't...

• 30:21Speaker 03

  That's what happened to me a couple of weeks ago.

• 30:23Speaker 02

  You can't just throw people into the golf cart.

• 30:24Nilay Patel?

  Today on the Vergecast, we talked about that time I went to Florida. By Chris Plant. Thank you very much. What did you do here, what did you do for your job today in Vegas?

• 30:36Speaker 01

  Uh, oh, they're right over there. Right there. So, I saw that levitating speaker, right? And I was like, "This is great. How does the magic work?" And they're like, "Oh, it's magnets. It's really strong magnets. And you have to use like a device just to get them balanced. One magnet like field over the other, and that's what makes the speaker float." And I was like, "Okay, that's cool. But since they're strong magnets, what can they stick to?" And the guy was like, "I don't know." And I was like, "Could it stick to your phone?" And he's like, "We can try." And it did. And I was like, "Can it stick to this wall bracket?" And he's like, "I don't know." So then I tried that. And it did that too. So then I had a big idea. Levitating, cool, neat, not useful for me.

• 31:20Speaker 01

  But, it works in 33 feet for 12 hours.

• 31:24Nilay Patel?

  You go into your neighbor's house.

• 31:26Speaker 01

  You put it up way high in their house, and then you just randomly turn on music. And you're like, "I don't know, maybe there's a ghost in your house. Maybe you should pay me money to hear that ghost." And then, you live in New York, I have like 20 neighbors I could do that to.

• 31:41Nilay Patel?

  So, wait, your plan, and I just want to sketch this one out really specifically.

• 31:46Speaker 01

  I'm what's called an entrepreneur. I don't know if you've caught this so far.

• 31:49Speaker 03

  You're a portrepreneur.

• 31:50Nilay Patel?

  Bluetooth speakers anywhere.

• 31:51Speaker 03

  I'm also a portrepreneur.

• 31:53Nilay Patel?

  So you can start a fake ghost busting company.

• 31:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:55Nilay Patel?

  You realize that's what the EPA in the movie Ghostbusters thought was happening?

• 32:00Speaker 02

  You want to extort...

• 32:01Speaker 01

  Here, okay, another thing.

• 32:01Nilay Patel?

  Like you have validated the bad guy in the Ghostbusters movie.

• 32:04Speaker 03

  As if that's not a product already.

• 32:06Speaker 02

  No, air squared. Air squared.

• 32:08Speaker 03

  Oh, air squared. That's how they pronounce it. Nobody's gonna know that.

• 32:12Speaker 01

  Yes. No, no, yeah. I'm safe. And also, I live in a police station in New York. This is like, literally one public service away from Ghostbusters.

• 32:22Speaker 02

  You want to extort senior citizens with herpes in Florida?

• 32:25Speaker 01

  That's step one. Step two, then, after they've had a nice, very long life.

• 32:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:31Speaker 01

  I borrow their corpses to drive cars on my giant Uber national service.

• 32:38Speaker 03

  This is all coming full circle, just like 8S.

• 32:41Speaker 01

  When people are like, "What happened to them?", I say that their ghosts have returned to their children. And then I'm on share to exorcise those ghosts.

• 32:49Speaker 03

  What is the purpose of putting this on things?

• 32:52Speaker 02

  Why not?

• 32:53Speaker 01

  What is the purpose of making it float?

• 32:56Nilay Patel?

  Okay, that's a totally valid question.

• 32:58Speaker 01

  Apparently, I have been told it makes the acoustics better. I listened to Rihanna on it.

• 33:05Speaker 03

  So this just floats up like this?

• 33:06Nilay Patel?

  I'm just saying, in the actual movie Ghostbusters...

• 33:10Speaker 03

  But it has to be on a horizontal surface? If I put it on the wall, it's going to fall.

• 33:17Speaker 01

  Yes. Yes, that gravity will take effect and send it to the ground.

• 33:21Speaker 03

  Well, that's what I was wondering why you covered this, if that is why.

• 33:24Nilay Patel?

  Also, doesn't your magnet...

• 33:26Speaker 01

  The magnet works on a...

• 33:27Speaker 03

  The magnet, but this part only... This part only...

• 33:30Speaker 01

  Oh, the floating only, yeah. That requires gravity's help.

• 33:34Speaker 03

  Got it.

• 33:35Nilay Patel?

  So, once again, I'd like to point out that in the movie Ghostbusters...

• 33:39Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 33:40Speaker 03

  This looks like something by Brookstone.

• 33:42Nilay Patel?

  Corrupt EPA official William Peck told the Ghostbusters that they were putting on a sound and light show to confuse old people and then shut down the containment grid and made the staple of Marshall and Ben destroy New York City. But you're saying that if they said that to you, they would be correct? Because you would be putting on a sound and light show.

• 34:01Speaker 01

  Because there would in fact be no real Slimer.

• 34:04Nilay Patel?

  Okay.

• 34:05Speaker 01

  What I'm saying.

• 34:06Nilay Patel?

  What else have you done here today, Chris?

• 34:08Speaker 01

  Uh, let's see. Um, I can't talk about that, that's a bargain for tomorrow. But it's gonna be good. It's on the level.

• 34:19Speaker 01

  I also looked at, uh...

• 34:22Nilay Patel?

  Well, this is your first CS, this is your first day on the show floor.

• 34:24Speaker 01

  Oh, I love it now.

• 34:25Nilay Patel?

  You love it because you were not... You were very skeptical, that's right.

• 34:29Speaker 01

  The reality is, I'm surrounded by playthings.

• 34:31Nilay Patel?

  None of which makes sense to me.

• 34:33Speaker 01

  And I get to break them. And the people are amused by it, because I seem quaint to them.

• 34:41Nilay Patel?

  So you just act stupid at booths and break things?

• 34:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:45Speaker 03

  Can I wander the show floor with you?

• 34:47Speaker 01

  And they see my name tag, like, "Oh, you're from The Verge." I'm like, "Oh, you don't know what you're in for yet."

• 34:52Speaker 03

  I'm just gonna wander with the selfie stick and just be following him.

• 34:56Nilay Patel?

  No, I will say this, Verge reporters, I think particularly me, have a long reputation for playing with anything and immediately crashing the operating system. I tried to do a Google TV demo at Sony. Yesterday, and I crashed the main Android TV, or Android TV demo. I crashed the main Android TV runtime like four times in a row. And it got super Android-y, like, it's a TV, right? And like, seeing like, the Android error message on the screen is like, this is, you just like, stopped. Like, Android TV has stopped, and everyone's like, it's...

• 35:26Speaker 02

  Not a good user experience.

• 35:27Nilay Patel?

  And then like, the guy took it back and immediately did a flawless demo.

• 35:31Speaker 03

  Also, I feel like, I've heard Neil I say he checked out an Android TV the last 10 years of this show.

• 35:37Nilay Patel?

  That's what I do here. What I do here is I go to the television companies and I yell at them.

• 35:41Speaker 03

  How many years have you been covering an Android TV or Google TV thing at this show?

• 35:45Nilay Patel?

  Oh, this is eight. It's easily eight.

• 35:47Speaker 03

  That's crazy.

• 35:47Nilay Patel?

  Um, but now, it's like, the TV companies are bemused by my presence. I'm like, "When are you gonna get rid of that Kowachs?" And they're like, "Huh, you don't see the future like we do." Like, they've just stopped even trying to answer the question when I ask it. They just like deflect me. They're like, "We brought a Mustang to the booth."

• 36:05Speaker 02

  They jingled their keys.

• 36:06Nilay Patel?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 36:06Speaker 03

  This also feels like a headline that we, you guys have written probably like 45 times in a different way. "Google TV is finally dead. Long live Android TV." But I feel like that happened two years ago.

• 36:16Nilay Patel?

  That story is old. That didn't go up today, did it? What are you talking about?

• 36:20Speaker 03

  This went up on January 6th, 2015.

• 36:24Nilay Patel?

  What day is today?

• 36:25Speaker 03

  Today.

• 36:27Speaker 02

  Today is today. It's a tautology. It's true.

• 36:31Nilay Patel?

  What? What? Okay, Dieter is drunk.

• 36:35Speaker 03

  No, but, I mean, what he's saying is right, right?

• 36:38Speaker 02

  It's accurate.

• 36:39Speaker 03

  "Google TV is dead again. Now it's Android TV. In a couple of years, again, it will be..."

• 36:44Nilay Patel?

  It'll be Google TV.

• 36:44Speaker 03

  "Google TV." I mean, I don't know, yeah, I mean, he's talking about developer platform tools and stuff, but I'm just, I'm just saying, this is a constant ping-pong every year.

• 36:53Nilay Patel?

  I'm pretty sure that's a, Dieter is like, he's expressing feelings, like, in a really deep way.

• 36:59Speaker 03

  Feels.

• 36:59Nilay Patel?

  Uh, Dieter's having feels, bone feels, uh, because today, uh, Palm was officially purchased by Alcatel. And so Palm is back.

• 37:09Speaker 02

  Palm is not back.

• 37:11Nilay Patel?

  Dieter heard this news and like, you know that emoji of like, the crying and the tears are just like flying off to the side? Like, that was Dieter for about five minutes.

• 37:20Speaker 02

  Okay, let me explain, let me explain how this went down.

• 37:23Speaker 03

  I feel like I should give Dieter my seat. Is he here?

• 37:25Nilay Patel?

  Uh, Dieter... No, Dieter abandoned us to put up this post.

• 37:27Speaker 02

  Dieter is like, Dieter is like, uh, Johnny Depp's, uh, wife in Transcendence. Where she's like, "I need, I need to bring him back." And then, and then she's, and then she plugs Palm into the Matrix. And but, and Palm comes back-

• 37:41Nilay Patel?

  And Palm just starts restructuring itself?

• 37:42Speaker 02

  Right, right, but, but it's not really Palm. It's like a fake Palm, right? And then Palm destroys the world.

• 37:47Speaker 01

  Do they only let you into the movie theater when the movie sucks? Sorry, sir. You're directing this way. And you're like, but I'm with them. Like, no, you're not.

• 37:57Nilay Patel?

  Wait, I like the idea that Palm can execute anything on the level of, like, destroying the world.

• 38:02Speaker 02

  Well, you got put in the Matrix first.

• 38:03Nilay Patel?

  Palm could barely, like, release a cellphone.

• 38:06Speaker 02

  Put Palm in the Matrix, that's another story.

• 38:09Nilay Patel?

  I know. Joanna, what else have you seen today? We only have a few minutes left here. What's been going on with you?

• 38:14Speaker 03

  I've been at the Wall Street Journal booth all day.

• 38:16Nilay Patel?

  Yeah, but you've been talking to people all day.

• 38:18Speaker 02

  Stipples. You can make stipples there, right?

• 38:19Speaker 03

  You can make stipples there. Everyone should come. Make stipples.

• 38:22Speaker 01

  I'm gonna do that.

• 38:22Nilay Patel?

  Oh, it's odd. I mean, in terms of wrecking a storied trademark of the Wall Street Journal, we're stealing that stipple shit? And we are running with it.

• 38:30Speaker 03

  Fine.

• 38:31Nilay Patel?

  The Verge 2015, stippled up.

• 38:33Speaker 03

  Does Rupert Murdoch listen to this podcast?

• 38:35Nilay Patel?

  And you call him Rupert now.

• 38:37Speaker 03

  Well, I just call him that.

• 38:38Speaker 02

  She said Root Dog.

• 38:38Nilay Patel?

  Huh?

• 38:39Speaker 03

  I did not say that. I call him Mr. Murdoch if I do run into him.

• 38:43Nilay Patel?

  Root Beast Extreme.

• 38:47Nilay Patel?

  That's his DJ name.

• 38:50Speaker 03

  I think it is a tradition, though, for me to come on this podcast and things to be said about whoever I work for or people I work for.

• 38:56Nilay Patel?

  Because we're luring you back in by burning all of your friends.

• 38:58Speaker 03

  Right, right. Last year it was Diane Sawyer, two years ago.

• 39:02Nilay Patel?

  Yeah, DJ Diane Extreme.

• 39:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:05Nilay Patel?

  How is Diane? You talk to her?

• 39:07Speaker 03

  Sometimes I do talk to her.

• 39:08Nilay Patel?

  Okay. Well, who have you been talking to, Diane? Like, beyond, beyond stippling yourself?

• 39:12Speaker 03

  Honestly, the most popular post I did here, and I might just stop working, is that I saw the future at CES, and it is ordering Girl Scout cookies online.

• 39:21Speaker 02

  I mean, that is a game changer.

• 39:22Speaker 03

  It is the only thing I've seen at the show that will change my life.

• 39:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:26Nilay Patel?

  Can you order them whenever you want?

• 39:27Speaker 03

  You have to still know a Girl Scout.

• 39:29Nilay Patel?

  So it still goes to the local troop? How does it verify, like- How does it verify that you know a Girl Scout? I mean, that seems like a really thorny problem.

• 39:37Speaker 03

  And you should actually read the piece because it is interesting about why you still need to know a Girl Scout. Because the whole reason there are Girl Scout cookies is to teach these girls about business and management and money and all that kind of stuff, right? That was the intention of...

• 39:49Speaker 02

  No, the intention is to sell delicious cookies.

• 39:52Speaker 03

  That is also what the real intention is.

• 39:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:55Speaker 03

  So, you still need to know a Girl Scout to buy the cookies. They either have an iPad app, well, it's an Android or an iOS app that they can load up. You just put in your information, no more like little form where you fill it out, they take credit card. This is huge, guys. I don't know if you order Girl Scout cookies in your office.

• 40:14Speaker 01

  I'm excited. I was just worried that it was like a way for Girl Scouts of America to make lots of money and then not have like local troops getting the cash.

• 40:20Speaker 03

  No, no. This is, the girls are really at the heart of this. I sound like the PR person that I talked to yesterday. The girls are at the heart of this. We're encouraging entrepreneurship.

• 40:29Nilay Patel?

  So how do you verify that you know a Girl Scout?

• 40:31Speaker 03

  So, a Girl Scout would, you'd have the iPad app or whatever, they would come to your house or whatever. That's one option. The other option is that they can make a website and then that link can be sent out by their parents, by their friends. It can even be posted to Facebook, which I think is a little bit dicey. I don't know if, you know, that could get circulated and more people could be finding out about these girls. But they say they can't post personal information on there, they only can post their first name, they're not supposed to post photos and that kind of stuff. And so you can just go onto the website, order the cookies, put in your shipping information, credit card information, and get your Girl Scout cookies.

• 41:04Nilay Patel?

  So this definitely seems like you don't actually have to know a Girl Scout.

• 41:07Speaker 03

  Then, yeah.

• 41:08Nilay Patel?

  You have to have access to it. Joanna just winked at me, like straight up, just like, just winked at me. She was just like, "You do." And then we just moved on, as though a wink hadn't occurred.

• 41:19Speaker 02

  So Girl Scout links are the cryptocurrency of the future. It's gonna be, you know, people are trading like, "Oh, I know a Girl Scout."

• 41:25Speaker 03

  The Girl Scout cookie crack.

• 41:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:28Speaker 03

  Yeah. I ate like 20 Samoas.

• 41:31Speaker 01

  Like, yeah, they only go by 10 and I have to write down the number on paper. I appreciate it.

• 41:37Nilay Patel?

  I use this burner website. I can't put it on Facebook. Yeah, Betty's giving me what I need.

• 41:43Speaker 02

  Use a GeoCities site to conduct the transition.

• 41:46Speaker 03

  I think this is the main thing I've seen that will change my life at CES.

• 41:50Nilay Patel?

  Yeah.

• 41:51Speaker 02

  What's your favorite Girl Scout cookie?

• 41:53Speaker 03

  Samoas.

• 41:54Speaker 02

  Take-alongs.

• 41:55Speaker 03

  I had some yesterday. I have a huge box of Girl Scout cookies in my room if anybody wants to.

• 41:59Speaker 02

  Party at Joanna's place.

• 42:01Nilay Patel?

  Well, I mean, set up a website.

• 42:02Speaker 03

  If you'd like to stop by.

• 42:04Nilay Patel?

  I'm just saying, set up a website, learn a little bit about commerce.

• 42:06Speaker 03

  I've gotten married since I've been on this podcast.

• 42:08Speaker 02

  They gave Joanna a taste.

• 42:09Speaker 03

  I should just say that. I've gotten married since I've been on this podcast.

• 42:12Nilay Patel?

  What does that have to do with your Girl Scout cookies?

• 42:13Speaker 03

  I just invited everyone to my room for Girl Scout cookies.

• 42:16Speaker 01

  That just sounds creepy in all sorts of other ways.

• 42:20Speaker 02

  Well, she's, you know, continuing with the dealer analogy, she's giving people a taste.

• 42:24Speaker 03

  Oh, my God.

• 42:26Speaker 01

  God.

• 42:27Speaker 03

  Okay. Anyway, other things that I covered. I interviewed Brian Seacrest.

• 42:34Speaker 01

  How's he a self-employed man in Hollywood?

• 42:36Speaker 03

  What?

• 42:37Speaker 01

  Was he drinking his juice?

• 42:39Speaker 03

  He was not drinking his juice.

• 42:41Speaker 01

  It's like a liquid diet thing.

• 42:42Speaker 03

  He looks very fit and golden.

• 42:46Speaker 02

  Well, he probably spends six months of the year working out just for New Year's Eve. Because that's like, that's his Super Bowl.

• 42:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:51Speaker 01

  I think every day is the Super Bowl. I mean, that's a man who wakes up every day and is like,

• 42:56Speaker 02

  And has a Super Bowl.

• 42:56Speaker 01

  I'm gonna have eight jobs today.

• 42:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:58Nilay Patel?

  So, do you have it? Where's the typo? Do you have the iPhone 6 typo somewhere?

• 43:03Speaker 03

  I thought you were pointing to this guy. Yeah, no, this is the iPhone 6 typo.

• 43:07Nilay Patel?

  No, that's an iPhone 6.

• 43:09Speaker 03

  6 Plus.

• 43:10Nilay Patel?

  Oh, my God.

• 43:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, this is the typo too.

• 43:12Speaker 02

  That's not a 6 Plus case.

• 43:13Speaker 03

  No, no, this is a 6... No, he has a 6 Plus. That is an iPhone 6 case with a keyboard.

• 43:20Nilay Patel?

  Okay, well, you made one good decision, one bad decision.

• 43:24Nilay Patel?

  So, wait, how is this typo? So you interviewed Seacrest because of the typo? We talked about the typo when you were on the show last year, too.

• 43:30Speaker 03

  Yes, one year ago. That's basically all I'm good for here, is talking about a really crappy keyboard case.

• 43:35Nilay Patel?

  You show up with a rip-off BlackBerry keyboard once a year. It's like Christmas.

• 43:40Speaker 03

  I hope there's another one next year that's better than this.

• 43:42Nilay Patel?

  Are you into this? Are you gonna use it?

• 43:44Speaker 03

  I've been using it for like a month and a half, on and off. It's not very good.

• 43:48Nilay Patel?

  This does... This does seem like garbage.

• 43:50Speaker 03

  Actually, Sean Hollister at Gizmodo did a really great thing.

• 43:53Nilay Patel?

  Like, in terms of finishing a product, you should not be able to just turn it over and see the raw circuit board?

• 44:01Nilay Patel?

  Good job, Seacrest.

• 44:03Speaker 02

  Look, he's a busy man.

• 44:05Speaker 03

  Anyway, their news is that they made an iPad keyboard, which looks pretty good.

• 44:09Nilay Patel?

  Yeah?

• 44:09Speaker 03

  Yeah. A new iPad keyboard. It's pretty thin.

• 44:12Nilay Patel?

  It does light up. I do like things that light up.

• 44:14Speaker 03

  They're not gonna make a keyboard for the Apple Watch. I did ask him that. He said no.

• 44:18Nilay Patel?

  What's your unfiltered opinion on the Apple Watch?

• 44:23Speaker 03

  It needs a keyboard, obviously.

• 44:24Nilay Patel?

  There's a handful of watches here.

• 44:25Speaker 03

  Naturally. Naturally, it needs a keyboard. Like, every Apple product, it needs a keyboard.

• 44:29Nilay Patel?

  Yeah. Because Apple loves keyboards.

• 44:31Speaker 03

  Right. They love physical keyboards.

• 44:33Nilay Patel?

  That's what they're known for. No, tell me. What do you think? Because I was playing with the Sony Smartwatch, and then... Like, who else did one today?

• 44:39Speaker 02

  Alcatel?

• 44:40Nilay Patel?

  Alcatel did one, and there's obviously all the Samsung stuff over there.

• 44:43Speaker 03

  I have... The design is interesting to me. When I put it on, it didn't look too big on me, which was like the first thing I was really worried about. I really like the gold one with the red bands. I'm really into that.

• 44:56Nilay Patel?

  That's your move.

• 44:56Speaker 03

  I really want them to make a rose gold one. I will definitely buy that. It'll match my engagement ring.

• 45:02Nilay Patel?

  Because you're married.

• 45:03Speaker 03

  Because I'm married now.

• 45:04Nilay Patel?

  You can come up for cookies, but nothing else.

• 45:11Nilay Patel?

  My favorite Girl Scout cookie is called the Hanky Panky.

• 45:14Speaker 02

  Off the rails button.

• 45:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:15Nilay Patel?

  I'm just hitting his butt.

• 45:17Speaker 03

  But there's two things that I am really excited about with it, is to see what the fitness capabilities are. Like, they've had... I think they're gonna really market that, and I think it's probably not gonna be very good.

• 45:29Nilay Patel?

  Nope.

• 45:30Speaker 03

  For me, this whole health, this whole health monitoring, heart rate thing has just been a total failure. I did like a huge thing a couple of weeks ago on how all of these heart rate things are completely inaccurate.

• 45:43Nilay Patel?

  Really?

• 45:43Speaker 03

  Like, really, really inaccurate. I went to cardiologist, measured all of these different things. The only ones that are super accurate are the ones you wear on your, around your waist, or your chest.

• 45:52Nilay Patel?

  Yeah.

• 45:52Speaker 03

  Here, whatever that's called. And they're gonna, I think they're gonna make a huge deal out of all this, and I just really wonder how it's gonna work.

• 45:59Nilay Patel?

  Right.

• 45:59Speaker 03

  And then, the notification thing, I just don't think iOS is in a place to make that transition to the rest. And I think Android Wear's been getting a lot better with some of that.

• 46:11Nilay Patel?

  And all these other people, like-

• 46:12Speaker 03

  Still not there, but way better with Lollipop, and I just don't think iOS is there, so I don't know.

• 46:18Nilay Patel?

  Right, and I'll, but what, like, here at CS, like, my big theme of the show is that, when I keep saying gadgets are back, I mean, these ecosystems are big enough to support all this other stuff.

• 46:25Speaker 03

  Right.

• 46:26Nilay Patel?

  And I see it with Android in way different ways than I see it with iOS, right? So iOS, like, there is HealthKit and HomeKit, and people are building towards it, and all the car stuff here, like-

• 46:36Speaker 03

  HealthKit is a nightmare.

• 46:38Nilay Patel?

  Right, but Android Health exists just the same way.

• 46:41Speaker 03

  Right, right, right.

• 46:42Nilay Patel?

  Android Wear is like, I think farther along in terms of, here's a way for this platform to be extended in all these other places. But then on the flip side, Apple's hardware ecosystem of things is-

• 46:54Speaker 03

  Right, always been really good.

• 46:56Nilay Patel?

  -stronger in a variety of different ways.

• 46:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:58Nilay Patel?

  And like, that's the race, as far as I can tell.

• 47:00Speaker 03

  Right.

• 47:01Nilay Patel?

  Is you can enable more kinds of devices across more places. And it's funny, like, Google's way be, like, it's CS 2015, and Google's just introducing Google Cast for audio. And they're like, really proud of it, and it's like, yo, you invented Bluetooth streaming again. Like, that's as far as you got, right?

• 47:16Speaker 03

  Well, this just, to me, that seems just like an extension of, like, people know what Chromecast is now, like, we can take advantage of that.

• 47:24Nilay Patel?

  I don't think it's like a, like a totally cynical brand opportunity. I think it's like, to make Cast work, you need to send just audio sometimes.

• 47:33Speaker 03

  Right.

• 47:33Nilay Patel?

  But they should've done that three years ago.

• 47:35Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 47:36Nilay Patel?

  Right, and like, that's what I mean, like, everyone's- I think iOS and Android are like basically the new Windows and Mac, right? Like those operating systems are doing what they do and they're fine. But all of the innovation is going to happen on these places now, across all of these screens that we see. And they're the new foundation and they connect up to the cloud. And so, the race is to build out those platforms as fast as possible. And what I think is fascinating is the only screen that isn't being touched by that, or the only type of device that isn't being touched by that, are these TVs that surround us. And Samsung's like, "This is a great place for us to invest in tizing."

• 48:09Speaker 03

  But Android TV, Google TV, that is Google's play.

• 48:13Nilay Patel?

  No, but even that's like the mistake, right? Because that's not, like, there's still basically a smartphone glued to the back of Sony's TV running Android, right?

• 48:20Speaker 03

  So you're not, they just don't communicate with each other.

• 48:23Nilay Patel?

  Right.

• 48:24Speaker 03

  But I think that goes back to some of the car stuff, where I think Google sits in a really interesting place. And even though they're not the ones who are doing this kind of, the integration with where the company, the car companies are doing it, there seems like a big opportunity there.

• 48:38Speaker 02

  Yeah. Well, they're, they're playing this, this, you know, they're in this dance with car companies because historically automakers are very precious about managing the experience in the car. And so, both Apple and Google have had to say, "We don't want to touch your dashboard. We don't want to muck with that amazing, amazingness you've created there. We just want to be an alternative that you can switch into."

• 49:00Speaker 03

  Right.

• 49:01Speaker 02

  And so, but they don't, they're not encumbered in that same way with some of these other platforms. With Android Wear, there's nothing, they don't have to dance around anything.

• 49:08Nilay Patel?

  Right, right. No, I was walking around here, the show floor of like, car company executives today, just like, shooting the shit. Why am I worried about swearing?

• 49:17Speaker 03

  It's not allowed anymore.

• 49:18Nilay Patel?

  Anyway, so we were walking around and we were at the Panasonic booth where they have like, the demo of how Panasonic can build you this stuff, just like every other. And like, literally the demo starts with like, the words "Your OEM screen." And there's a button that says "Go to Google," and a button that says "Go to Apple." And then a bunch of cool stuff happens. And then, and then the demo ended with, "And don't worry, you push this button and it says your OEM screen again."

• 49:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:42Nilay Patel?

  And it's like, that's a mistake. Like, the automakers are going to necessarily have to lose that battle.

• 49:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:47Nilay Patel?

  But then again, do you want Google to control like, the air conditioning in your car? Or more importantly, like, like the Nvidia demos, one of the boxes was like, "Drive train." And I was like, "You guys can't build this, like, a fake speedometer that isn't covered in bamboo? Like, I don't want you anywhere near how my car is starting and stopping."

• 50:09Nilay Patel?

  Like you have bad ideas about what this should even look like, like maybe, I don't know.

• 50:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:13Nilay Patel?

  What do you see that, I mean that this is year two of this, basically?

• 50:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, so Hyundai, I think, strangely, I, maybe it isn't that strange, but Hyundai is really kind of taking the lead on a lot of this stuff.

• 50:24Speaker 03

  Right.

• 50:24Speaker 02

  They're, they're doing, they did the watch, and they're also doing this thing called, I want to say it's called Display Mode, where their entry-level navigation system, it shouldn't be called navigation system, it's just a dumb terminal in your dash that supports CarPlay and Android Auto, and that's all it does.

• 50:40Speaker 03

  And both of them, right?

• 50:41Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 50:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, and they are like, maybe the first ones, or the only ones that signed to do that.

• 50:45Nilay Patel?

  And then all the other stuff just has buttons?

• 50:46Speaker 02

  Right, so...

• 50:47Nilay Patel?

  There's like, all the air conditioning and the HVAC and whatever.

• 50:49Speaker 02

  Exactly, so they're, they're just basically saying, you know, fine, we understand that drivers just want to see their smartphone in a, in a car-friendly way, that's cool, go do your thing, we're gonna step out of the way. But, but, on their high-end cars, they're still stepping in with their own UI.

• 51:06Speaker 03

  What are high-end Hyundai's called?

• 51:07Nilay Patel?

  There are some like, really expensive Hyundai's.

• 51:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's kind of true now, like a high-end, like a fully loaded Sonata is probably like a $35,000 car.

• 51:14Speaker 03

  Did they mute me again?

• 51:14Nilay Patel?

  We used to have an intern named Hyun-hoo, and he drove a high-end Hyundai.

• 51:19Speaker 03

  You, you, what?

• 51:19Speaker 02

  It's true, yeah, it's actually true.

• 51:21Nilay Patel?

  That's just three sounds that sound the same.

• 51:23Speaker 03

  You had an intern named who?

• 51:23Nilay Patel?

  That was the whole joke that I made. Hyun-hoo, our intern.

• 51:26Speaker 03

  I don't know him.

• 51:27Nilay Patel?

  He was great.

• 51:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, and he's living in South Korea. But anyway, yeah, so even, even Hyundai, which is...

• 51:35Nilay Patel?

  One time he went to Florida, guys.

• 51:36Speaker 03

  I have some tales about some old Verge interns.

• 51:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, you do.

• 51:39Speaker 03

  I do.

• 51:39Nilay Patel?

  That was before you were married.

• 51:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was before I was married.

• 51:44Nilay Patel?

  That, those aren't, that's not a story. That story is not a story.

• 51:47Speaker 02

  Off the rails, just the button, I'm hitting it.

• 51:51Speaker 03

  That brings me back.

• 51:52Nilay Patel?

  Can you tell me just real quick, right before I end, I want you to tell me a story. Did you go to Mercedes today?

• 51:59Speaker 02

  No.

• 51:59Nilay Patel?

  The Mercedes skiing out, Ross went.

• 52:01Speaker 02

  Ross went last night.

• 52:02Nilay Patel?

  Last night. So I am reliably informed that the CEO of Mercedes gave a keynote with a little buddy, which was a gigantic robot eyeball.

• 52:11Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 52:12Nilay Patel?

  And I really wish we, like, I'm just looking at this picture, and it seems like what we have not talked about today is how much of a spectacle CES still is. And anyway, have you seen any spectacle stuff, Chris?

• 52:22Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. I saw, you know, you know, the, it's basically an iPad on wheels, and then you can do, like, teleconferencing on it?

• 52:29Speaker 02

  We have one of those.

• 52:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm explaining it for everyone else who doesn't live with one of these.

• 52:34Nilay Patel?

  These people are at CES watching the broadcast.

• 52:35Speaker 01

  Attacking you while you're working every day. And somebody's like, "Oh, hi."

• 52:37Speaker 03

  I don't live with one of those.

• 52:38Speaker 01

  Yeah. Anyway, there's like a 35-foot one, surrounded by like 20 of them in the south hall. And I was like, "Oh, this is interesting." And the person's like, "Yeah, sometimes we make the small ones dance around the large ones." I'm like, "Ah, cool. I have to go."

• 52:55Speaker 03

  Before they kill me.

• 52:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly.

• 52:58Nilay Patel?

  What's your, what's your spectacle story?

• 53:01Speaker 02

  Um, I don't, I don't have any spectacles, per se. Just a, just a lot of, I mean, unless...

• 53:06Nilay Patel?

  You got a little spectacle going right here at the self-stick.

• 53:09Speaker 02

  I mean, crashing...

• 53:10Speaker 03

  I don't have any.

• 53:11Nilay Patel?

  Stern learned a new trick, everybody.

• 53:12Speaker 02

  Being denied the, the basic human right to crash into a wall is kind of a spectacle.

• 53:17Nilay Patel?

  Wait, what was your reaction when they told you to crash into a wall? You're like, "I'm going for it."

• 53:21Speaker 03

  Do you have the video of it?

• 53:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, it's on the site. It's on, it's on theverge.com.

• 53:24Speaker 03

  What's the website?

• 53:25Speaker 02

  Theverge.com.

• 53:26Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 53:27Speaker 02

  Theverge.com.

• 53:28Nilay Patel?

  You might know it.

• 53:29Speaker 02

  But, so, when I, when they first asked me to do it, I'm like, "Cool." And I went like 2 miles an hour into it, and they're like, "No, no, we want you to be way more aggressive. Just floor it."

• 53:37Speaker 03

  I will, I will watch that.

• 53:39Speaker 01

  Wait, can we talk about that with spectacle, right? We've had a self-driving car doing its shtick outside of our trailer.

• 53:46Nilay Patel?

  Oh, yeah.

• 53:47Speaker 01

  Nonstop for the past two days, and all I do is think of it as a giant inconvenience. And I haven't stopped to think, "Holy shit, there is a self-driving car right outside."

• 53:56Nilay Patel?

  Yeah, but what it's doing is so tremendously boring.

• 53:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's just, it's, it's like driving one foot and parking.

• 54:02Nilay Patel?

  I mean, I, I, like, we watched them, we were here a long time ago, right? Like, we were over, like, early before.

• 54:07Speaker 01

  I've memorized their spiel.

• 54:09Nilay Patel?

  And, like, we watched them, we watched them rehearsing, like, "This Volkswagen will now park itself."

• 54:12Speaker 01

  This is an eagle. If your garage is like my garage, it's full of stuff. How about you? Oh, you're lying.

• 54:19Speaker 02

  (laughing).

• 54:21Speaker 03

  Is that the rehearsal?

• 54:23Speaker 01

  Oh, I know it all. I know it all.

• 54:25Nilay Patel?

  No, it's great. And I'm sure they're paid well enough to make up for that part of their lives.

• 54:31Speaker 02

  Oh, I do want to talk about one other thing car-related very quickly. So the trend that's emerging here is gesture control in the car, which I think is super fascinating. Because historically, the problem they've struggled with in cars is that you either have a crap-load of buttons and knobs on the dashboard, or you have a finicky touchscreen that takes your eyes off the road. Well, so this gesture control, like BMW, what they're doing is, you have to go like this.

• 54:57Speaker 03

  I just can't wait to see people driving and be like...

• 54:59Nilay Patel?

  Chris has got his hands in a V, and he's just stabbing the air in front of them.

• 55:03Speaker 03

  You know, you're gonna look over and see someone just like...

• 55:06Nilay Patel?

  What does that motion do?

• 55:07Speaker 02

  It turns off the screen.

• 55:09Nilay Patel?

  It turns off the screen?

• 55:10Speaker 02

  In the dashboard, it turns it off.

• 55:12Speaker 03

  Mostly I'm usually just picking my nose when I'm driving, but this would be very interesting.

• 55:15Nilay Patel?

  That, you just kill it. You just kill...

• 55:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 55:17Nilay Patel?

  Shut up!

• 55:18Speaker 03

  We're getting our pods together.

• 55:19Speaker 02

  It turns it back on.

• 55:20Speaker 03

  You two get off our podcast.

• 55:21Speaker 02

  If you go like this, it's volume up. This is volume down.

• 55:23Speaker 01

  Wait, are you joking? Are you serious?

• 55:24Speaker 02

  No, I'm serious.

• 55:25Speaker 01

  No.

• 55:26Speaker 02

  And if someone calls you and you want to reject the call, you go like that.

• 55:28Speaker 03

  What? How? What?

• 55:29Speaker 01

  You smack them with the back of your hand?

• 55:31Nilay Patel?

  Just a backhand smack.

• 55:33Speaker 01

  Child.

• 55:34Nilay Patel?

  And just in case you were wondering...

• 55:35Speaker 03

  This isn't better than touching the dashboard.

• 55:38Speaker 02

  Oh, it absolutely is.

• 55:39Nilay Patel?

  By the way, volume up, just for the people listening in their cars. If you are currently listening to Vergecast in your car, which most of you are, what I want you to do is imagine that you want to turn down the volume on the show and just begin waving your hand furiously in counterclockwise circles.

• 55:53Speaker 03

  Slap it. Just slap.

• 55:54Nilay Patel?

  And then you want to shut this up. You just slap us quiet. Chris Plant, I don't like you.

• 55:57Speaker 01

  Slap.

• 55:58Nilay Patel?

  Because, let's be clear, the data suggests that most of our complaints are about you.

• 56:04Speaker 03

  Also try to do an up-down L. Opposite L.

• 56:08Speaker 02

  Wait, what is that for?

• 56:09Speaker 03

  This seems like another one of the gestures that should happen.

• 56:12Nilay Patel?

  No, that's...

• 56:13Speaker 01

  For left turn?

• 56:14Nilay Patel?

  Yeah, and then this means you're turning right.

• 56:15Speaker 03

  No, this seems like this is a thing.

• 56:17Speaker 01

  There are already signals for that.

• 56:19Nilay Patel?

  That's half the training routine. That's just your, Chris is just stabbing the air now.

• 56:25Speaker 02

  You gotta have the fingers like this.

• 56:27Speaker 03

  I don't think this is a good idea.

• 56:28Nilay Patel?

  But why do you have to have the murderous look in your eyes?

• 56:30Speaker 03

  This is not, why is that better than hands-free?

• 56:34Nilay Patel?

  You're just like...

• 56:34Speaker 03

  Voice?

• 56:35Nilay Patel?

  What?

• 56:35Speaker 03

  Or touching a dashboard?

• 56:37Speaker 02

  Oh, so I'll tell you exactly what's better than touching a dashboard?

• 56:39Speaker 03

  Because it's the precise...

• 56:41Speaker 02

  A gesture doesn't require that you take your eyes off the road.

• 56:43Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 56:43Speaker 01

  I'll tell you why this is the worst idea on the planet.

• 56:46Nilay Patel?

  I have it.

• 56:46Speaker 01

  I'm, I...

• 56:47Nilay Patel?

  Okay.

• 56:47Speaker 01

  And this is 100% definitive. Because putting a Microsoft Connect...

• 56:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:53Speaker 01

  And relying your life on it.

• 56:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:57Speaker 01

  Is the worst single idea that has ever existed in all of technology.

• 57:02Speaker 03

  What if people start doing Dance Revolution? Dance Dance Revolution in the front seat?

• 57:07Speaker 02

  Dance, oh, I like that. I like that a lot.

• 57:09Speaker 03

  Ross Miller.

• 57:10Nilay Patel?

  Wait, I have a, no, I have a, maybe a...

• 57:12Speaker 03

  You have a baby?

• 57:13Nilay Patel?

  Yes, I've had a baby.

• 57:15Speaker 02

  His name is Mustang Sattell.

• 57:17Speaker 01

  Since we started this podcast, I had a baby.

• 57:18Speaker 03

  I wish.

• 57:19Nilay Patel?

  I threw him at the car and then he...

• 57:20Speaker 03

  I had a baby at CES a couple of years ago.

• 57:24Speaker 03

  Remember when I got my stroller?

• 57:26Speaker 02

  I do remember that.

• 57:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:27Nilay Patel?

  That was one of our best videos. Wait, I have a question, and it's a real one. If your car's driving itself, why do you need to keep your eyes on the road?

• 57:35Speaker 02

  Well, but the technologies, so first of all, the gesture...

• 57:38Nilay Patel?

  No, you can't answer that question.

• 57:39Speaker 02

  No, I can.

• 57:40Nilay Patel?

  Okay.

• 57:40Speaker 02

  The gesture control is one to two years out.

• 57:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:43Speaker 02

  Atomic driving isn't for five to 10 years.

• 57:45Speaker 03

  Actually, why isn't gesture control here now?

• 57:48Speaker 02

  It's just not, I mean, like, the two companies announced it this week, Volkswagen and BMW. It'll be here very soon.

• 57:54Nilay Patel?

  I mean, and...

• 57:54Speaker 03

  So this is really happening?

• 57:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 57:56Nilay Patel?

  But it's Audi that has the touchscreen where you draw the letters.

• 57:59Speaker 02

  Yep. And actually, so Google has...

• 58:01Speaker 03

  Like swipe on the...

• 58:02Nilay Patel?

  So instead of having a keyboard on Audi cars, you draw letters on a touchpad.

• 58:05Speaker 02

  And Google has a custom interface for Android Auto that works with that touchpad.

• 58:10Speaker 03

  That makes sense.

• 58:11Speaker 02

  So on Audis, you can actually do like character recognition inside Android Auto.

• 58:16Nilay Patel?

  Yeah. And then you just...

• 58:17Speaker 03

  Is there a stylus?

• 58:18Nilay Patel?

  You just backhand it to shut it off.

• 58:19Speaker 02

  Right.

• 58:19Speaker 03

  Is there a stylus that comes out of your steering wheel?

• 58:22Speaker 02

  There should be an HTC flyer in the dashboard.

• 58:24Nilay Patel?

  I just want to know what Joanna's lazy cheerleading routine will eventually, will eventually become.

• 58:30Speaker 03

  It is a good question.

• 58:33Nilay Patel?

  I gotta go. The show is over.

• 58:35Speaker 03

  No, this is changing the radio station, I think.

• 58:38Speaker 02

  This is just, no.

• 58:40Nilay Patel?

  Why would it be?

• 58:41Speaker 01

  How do you turn off the car?

• 58:42Nilay Patel?

  Stop, you look so mean when you do it. Chris just keeps stabbing me. Okay, the show's over. That was The Verge Cast. John looks very tired. Thank you for the people who have sat with us today. We are doing this again tomorrow at 4 o'clock.

• 58:56Speaker 01

  I'm so sorry.

• 58:57Nilay Patel?

  Probably. Here's what I know about tomorrow. We want to start right on time, but we're interviewing a member of the Wu-Tang Clan on this stage before we're scheduled to start. And we might just be running on Wu-Tang's clock. So that's a fact.

• 59:13Speaker 01

  The only clock I want to live on.

• 59:15Nilay Patel?

  It's pretty, it's not super accurate, but it's a party. So we're doing this again tomorrow sometime around 4. We'll have another show for all the people listening. For the people listening, you are troopers. I can't believe as many people listen to our CBS podcast as they do. Please drive your car.

• 59:30Speaker 03

  People listen to this?

• 59:31Nilay Patel?

  Like, a lot. It's really weird. I don't know what they're doing or why. These people are physically here listening to it.

• 59:38Speaker 03

  No, they haven't been listening.

• 59:39Speaker 01

  They're like, they're just very tired.

• 59:39Speaker 03

  They haven't been listening.

• 59:41Nilay Patel?

  Okay, you can, there's a million ways to follow The Verge. The main ways, you should like, subscribe to our channel on YouTube. You should like us on Facebook and you should follow us on Twitter, which I'm hoping all of you already do.

• 59:53Speaker 02

  Snapchat.

• 59:54Nilay Patel?

  We're TheRealVerge on Snapchat. Sam is in Vegas with Snapchat, so that's just happening. And then I will say, we are having a secret special fourth episode of The Verge Cast on Thursday with a bunch of our YouTube friends, including the one-nolie MKBHD. So look for that.

• 1:00:10Speaker 02

  It's not really that secret now that you've...

• 1:00:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, that's not a secret.

• 1:00:13Nilay Patel?

  Well, I didn't say who the other people were.

• 1:00:15Speaker 02

  True.

• 1:00:15Nilay Patel?

  So there's that. So look for that. And then...

• 1:00:18Speaker 01

  One of their names might rhyme with tall minarney.

• 1:00:23Speaker 01

  Might. Could be. Could be another meadow. How many are left?

• 1:00:26Speaker 02

  Oh, oh, I think he just said that Paul McCartney is on the Vergecast.

• 1:00:29Nilay Patel?

  I think, I think the idea that Paul McCartney is a YouTube star may not play.

• 1:00:34Speaker 01

  Paul McCartney is an everything star.

• 1:00:36Nilay Patel?

  Well, that, that is how we will collapse to a finish here on the Vergecast. Thank you, Starch, for being here. Thank you for reading our site. Uh, and CS continues to pace. This was your moment to take a selfie and you blew it. Let's just be clear.

• 1:00:48Speaker 03

  No, it's gonna be my moment to say rock and roll in a second.

• 1:00:51Nilay Patel?

  We're done.

• 1:00:52Speaker 03

  You didn't say rock and roll.

• 1:00:53Nilay Patel?

  I haven't been saying it for like a year.

• 1:00:54Speaker 03

  Oh, really?

• 1:00:55Nilay Patel?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:56Speaker 03

  Well, I never make it to the end of the podcast.

• 1:00:57Nilay Patel?

  Rock and roll.

• 1:00:57Speaker 03

  Rock and roll.

• 1:00:59Speaker 02

  You blew it.