Living like Trash | Parking Lot

Casey Muratori attempts to experience life as Trash by ordering his favorite Taco Bell meal. Unfortunately, everything goes wrong. From a canceled podcast to a suspiciously unfried Chalupa, the crew investigates what happened and debates the proper way to experience Taco Bell.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Trash and I need to have a little discussion here about what happened with the Taco Bell. So we need to get that out of the way first.

• 0:06Speaker 01

  Quick point of reference, though. If you don't have a stash of T-Bell sauces in your drawer, ready anytime they forget your T-Bell for a DoorDash order, you're not doing it right. Am I right, Trash? Right here. I got, I got my backup stash.

• 0:23Speaker 02

  I'm gonna surprise you. I'm not a sauce guy. Okay?

• 0:26Speaker 01

  Oh! What? You just eat it, you just eat it raw, naked?

• 0:32Speaker 02

  I mean, it comes with everything it needs. So I'll get, we'll get into this, but. Okay, hold on, hold on, hold on. I was watching Casey's stream and I was just like screaming at you, "No! No! Someone answer his question!"

• 0:44Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 0:45Speaker 01

  Why didn't you answer it?

• 0:46Speaker 03

  All right, hey, guys, since we're here.

• 0:49Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 0:49Speaker 03

  I believe we need to take the Taco Bell issue. Let's put it in here.

• 0:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, definitely go back to in progress.

• 0:55Speaker 03

  Casey and Trash need to unwrap this issue. Okay, what's going on here?

• 0:59Speaker 00

  All right, so basically, um, I got chumped like 3X is basically what happened here. So I got chumped by Prime. I got chumped by Taco Bell, and I got jumped by Trash, all in like one outing. Is basically what happened. So let me just describe the situation for the folks at home who didn't see this unfold on Twitter or on the livestream. So I wanted to experience life as Trash firsthand. So I know he posts a lot about going, like, wanting to get Taco Bell at night. And like, like this being like, almost like a siren call to him.

• 1:42Speaker 00

  Like, it's like the Taco Bell is singing sweetly, uh, you know, out there in the rocks. And he's, he's like trying to do the shit.

• 1:48Speaker 01

  He's the modern Odysseus.

• 1:48Speaker 00

  He is.

• 1:49Speaker 01

  He's the modern Odysseus.

• 1:50Speaker 00

  Yes. Taco Odysseus. And, and so I'm like, I'm gonna go and I was, so I asked, I asked Trash, I was like, what is the order? Like, when you go there, what do you get? I'll order that and I'm gonna try it myself. And he said, uh, I wrote this down, so I probably won't remember exactly, but I think he said, uh, caramel apple empanada, which he said they only have at certain locations. They said they don't always have that.

• 2:19Speaker 02

  It's like seasonal too, something like that.

• 2:21Speaker 03

  Is it caramel or caramel?

• 2:23Speaker 00

  I don't know which one it is.

• 2:24Speaker 02

  I said caramel.

• 2:25Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 2:25Speaker 03

  Okay, okay, just checking.

• 2:26Speaker 00

  I don't know which, which spelling it was. I don't know if it's caramel or caramel. I'm not sure.

• 2:31Speaker 02

  Well, people pronounce it either way, right?

• 2:33Speaker 00

  Sure, but people spell it different ways too, for some reason. Caramel is how I normally say it and spell it, but I'm not sure. Caramel apple is said pretty frequently, so. Anyway, I have no idea about any of that because I never got one. We'll get to that in a second. And then he said the, uh, Chalupa, Steak Chalupa Supreme. Okay, so the order was supposed to be steak Chalupa Supreme, caramel apple or caramel apple. And he said if they don't have the, the apple, if they don't have the empanada, then get a, uh, steak, crispy steak taco. Oh, sorry, crispy taco with no, he didn't say what's.

• 3:10Speaker 02

  Crunchy Taco Supreme.

• 3:12Speaker 00

  Oh, okay, Crunchy Taco Supreme.

• 3:14Speaker 02

  I think that's what you got. I think that's what you got.

• 3:15Speaker 00

  Okay, so that's, that's what we were supposed to get. So I, in the morning, last week, in the morning, I wake up, it's like, you know, nine o'clock or whatever, podcast is 10 o'clock here. At 9:30, I'm like, hey, guys, are we doing the stand-up today? Everyone's like, yes. So I'm like, great, gonna go to Taco Bell, get this, I can eat it on the stand-up. I go out there, I drive to the Taco Bell that's closest to this, to, to the house here. I drive to Taco Bell, I get, you know, through the drive-through, I ask, I'm like, I need a, uh, steak Chalupa Supreme or whatever it is, and do you have a caramel empanada? They're like, no.

• 4:00Speaker 00

  So I'm like, okay, then I need a crispy taco. She's like, what, uh, supreme, what meat? And I'm like, I don't know, chicken, because I was just like, I figured mine as well, right? Try a different thing than the steak, because I'm gonna have the steak in the other one or whatever. Now, here's the thing. Here's where I got, the, the only place that, that Trash really failed me. They started asking a bunch of questions I don't have the answers to. You never told me they were gonna ask me questions, Trash.

• 4:23Speaker 01

  They never asked those questions.

• 4:25Speaker 03

  Hit us with a question, hit us with a question. What do you mean by a question you weren't prepared to answer?

• 4:29Speaker 00

  So first off, they said, I don't even remember all the questions. The first thing they asked was, do you want, on this, on the, both things, both of the, or both items? They said, do you want sour cream? They asked.

• 4:43Speaker 03

  That feels like a personal preference. Do you need Trash's opinion on that one?

• 4:47Speaker 00

  Yes, because I want to experience the order as Trash.

• 4:51Speaker 03

  Okay, okay, this is fair, okay.

• 4:52Speaker 00

  I want to know what Trash thinks is good. I eat almost everything, so it's not like I'm gonna be like, ew, sour cream or something. It's like, I'm gonna eat it like Trash eats it, right? You know, this is like when the kids, like, they buy Michael Jordan's shoes so they can, you know, be like him or whatever. It's like, I want to experience the world in a Trash way. I don't want to experience it in a me way. I can go to Taco Bell myself, right? They asked another question that I didn't understand. I don't remember what it was. It was like, sour, do you want sour cream or do you want something? And then the last one was, do you want it spicy? I said yes to the spicy because I figured, uh, that I wouldn't notice either way because I don't really notice spice that much. So I'm like, you might as well, just in case.

• 5:33Speaker 03

  You, can I just interject for one second? You may not have noticed spice until you hang out with Lindsay. Uh, Big Z on our team, she will, you will notice spice after hanging out with her. She orders the legitimate habaneros and it's a very different experience.

• 5:49Speaker 00

  That sounds like my kind of thing, though. That is like where I would like to be, yes. I, I want, I want.

• 5:54Speaker 01

  She does have a, she has a little bit of a problem, though, like Vegan makes shepherd's pie. And then she's like, I have to add habanero sauce to this. And you're like, that's the wrong genre, okay? We gotta keep those, there's no, there's no Irish shepherds out there making their pies and thinking what this needs is habanero, okay? That is not.

• 6:17Speaker 03

  She does have like the classic, like, put hot sauce on everything, except for it is just like, oh, just put habaneros on that. It doesn't matter what it is. It's just like, hey, what do you have in your?

• 6:26Speaker 01

  That's the one that always tilts Vegan. It's so funny. It's like, I made shepherd's pie for three hours and then she put hot sauce on it.

• 6:34Speaker 02

  Just picture Vegan making shepherd's pies already funny to me.

• 6:37Speaker 00

  I'm going to go to the Taco Bell.

• 6:39Speaker 01

  Excellent cook. Don't let it know we said so. Oh, Trash, next time, next time we're in LA, we'll do, uh, we'll do an evening, Vegan will make us some delicious food. Great.

• 6:49Speaker 00

  Yeah, great.

• 6:49Speaker 02

  That's shocking to me.

• 6:51Speaker 00

  I'm gonna bring a little, like, I'm gonna bring a little ghost pepper sauce, like, thing in my pocket and just be like, yeah, it's all right, Vegan, but let me, I'm just gonna add a little bit of hot sauce to it.

• 7:00Speaker 01

  There we go.

• 7:00Speaker 00

  Just to spice it up a little.

• 7:02Speaker 01

  Yeah. All right, Trash, the only thing, I do have to just mention quickly, Trash, when we do it, just plan on four hours for dinner.

• 7:08Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 7:08Speaker 01

  Okay, because Vegan's a great cook, but he likes.

• 7:11Speaker 03

  He does artificially cook one item at a time. Trash, you want your burger? I'm gonna cook one burger.

• 7:19Speaker 00

  But that, that's just Michelin star. That's just like a Michelin star restaurant.

• 7:23Speaker 01

  It's true.

• 7:24Speaker 00

  Right? The dishes come out very slowly. It's, they're tiny, right?

• 7:29Speaker 01

  We'll feed you first, Trash. We'll feed you first, okay?

• 7:32Speaker 03

  We'll have some, like, peach rings laying around or something like that to kind of keep you entertained.

• 7:36Speaker 02

  All right, all right.

• 7:37Speaker 03

  Funy ones.

• 7:37Speaker 02

  I like that, I like it.

• 7:38Speaker 00

  Yeah, funy ones.

• 7:40Speaker 02

  Anything ring-shaped, I'll eat it.

• 7:41Speaker 03

  And gotcha games or whatever you play. I'm not really sure what goes on over there.

• 7:44Speaker 01

  A few card packs to rip in the meantime. You'll be all set. Don't worry about it.

• 7:47Speaker 02

  Got it, got it.

• 7:48Speaker 03

  We'll take care of you. All right, all right, Casey, continue.

• 7:51Speaker 00

  So, so now, uh, the, the chumping begins. So I get the order. I bring it home. I get, I come upstairs, I was like, just in time. I, I log on to the Discord or whatever and I open it up and I'm like, oh, yeah, uh, no podcasting, guys.

• 8:11Speaker 00

  What?

• 8:12Speaker 03

  Do you, do you need an explanation or do you just want to keep it the way it is?

• 8:15Speaker 00

  No, no, we don't need an explanation. I just want people to know how, yeah, this is, this is, this is how it is here, right? It's just like, no, they're just like, they're like, you did all this work to do a cool thing on stream, but just, you know, nah, you know, it's not happening today. Now you just gotta eat Taco Bell at home, like, sitting in front of your computer by yourself, like, like, have fun with that. So.

• 8:37Speaker 02

  I do that all the time. There's nothing wrong with that.

• 8:40Speaker 00

  So maybe I was having the Trash experience.

• 8:42Speaker 01

  You were having the Trash experience, Casey.

• 8:44Speaker 00

  So I decide to stream this, so I open up the stream and I, you know, I unwrap the food items and I notice that, I think, I think, I don't know, I got chumped by Taco Bell as well. Because not only did they not have caramel empanada at this location, although they do have it at other locations in this area. So like, the one close to me is, is it particularly not good? But they also did not deep fry the Chalupa Supreme, which, isn't that what a Chalupa is? What, what constitutes a Chalupa? Because isn't a Chalupa supposed to be fried?

• 9:27Speaker 00

  Is that not, what's a chalupa normally?

• 9:29Speaker 03

  I will, I assume that's the crunchy side of it, right? Isn't that?

• 9:32Speaker 00

  It was not crunchy.

• 9:33Speaker 03

  Crunchy outside? Or do they deep fry the whole dang thing?

• 9:37Speaker 00

  They deep fry the whole thing, I think.

• 9:38Speaker 02

  They deep fry the bread.

• 9:39Speaker 00

  Or something, I don't know. Okay, the bread then. They didn't do that.

• 9:42Speaker 02

  It's a deep fried tortilla looking thing, whatever that is.

• 9:44Speaker 00

  They did not do it. So I just got, it was just a-

• 9:47Speaker 02

  That's a gordita. That's basically called a gordita is a non-deep fried chalupa.

• 9:52Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 9:52Speaker 01

  Do we know if those are real words, or does Taco Bell-

• 9:55Speaker 02

  I don't actually- Actually, when I was watching Casey's stream, I was like, he was like, chalupa should be fried. I was like, is chulupa a real word? I like Googled it and like, I think it was like a fried thing. I was like, oh shit, it's actually real. I thought these, I thought these were Taco Bellisms.

• 10:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:11Speaker 00

  So, the bit, the end, the end of the story is, I'm gonna have to do this again. Because not only did I not get to stream it here, uh, but I also didn't really experience the items at all. Like, our Taco Bell, the local Taco Bell here, obviously has no idea what they're doing.

• 10:26Speaker 03

  Okay, how about this one? Casey, can I just throw something out here?

• 10:28Speaker 00

  Sure.

• 10:29Speaker 03

  We need to do a, a climbing gym stand-up episode.

• 10:32Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 10:32Speaker 03

  I would just say, let's just Seinfeld this bad boy, get, you know, stand up in a car-

• 10:39Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 10:39Speaker 03

  Driving to Taco Bell.

• 10:40Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 10:42Speaker 03

  Eating some Taco Bell.

• 10:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 10:43Speaker 03

  Judging trashes, kind of like, take on what a good Taco Bell. I haven't eaten Taco Bell in two decades.

• 10:49Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 10:49Speaker 03

  So this will be a, uh, this will be an experience for me.

• 10:51Speaker 00

  When, well, when's this happening? I'm still waiting for this climbing. I'm ready to climb.

• 10:55Speaker 03

  This is kind of like a TJ thing, like TJ has to plan it.

• 10:58Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 10:59Speaker 03

  Or I-

• 10:59Speaker 02

  Prime wants to do these things, but we won't do them unless-

• 11:02Speaker 03

  No, I get stoked. Okay, so I'm the energizer. I'm like, let's do this. This is awesome. And then TJ is the, uh, the unfortunate- Person that has to deal with me being stoked.

• 11:12Speaker 00

  Okay, so you're the stoker, he's the shoveler. He has to shovel the actual coal. To, you're stoking the fire, but, but someone has to do the manual labor.

• 11:20Speaker 02

  TJ just watches Prime get stoked all the time. He's like, alright.

• 11:24Speaker 03

  I get happy.

• 11:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, what I really like is when Prime promises to do something with people and we're in a room where I really can't tell him that that's a terrible idea. That's my favorite.

• 11:35Speaker 00

  Okay, okay, alright.

• 11:37Speaker 01

  Walking that back is fun.

• 11:39Speaker 00

  I see.

• 11:40Speaker 02

  Let me just quickly rebuttal before we start. Um, so, so first of all-

• 11:44Speaker 03

  By the way, don't worry, trash, I got your back. I've already put it under contention. Okay, this Taco Bell-

• 11:48Speaker 00

  Good, good, good, good, yes, that's right.

• 11:50Speaker 02

  So, so first of all, those questions, never been asked those in my life. Spicy, supreme implies sour cream. You have to have sour cream, okay?

• 11:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's true, that's true.

• 12:00Speaker 02

  Sour cream is my sauce, effectively. Um, not fried, weird, it is a gordita. I like gorditas too. I'll take either one.

• 12:07Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 12:07Speaker 02

  Crunchy Taco Supreme, I do beef. You have to experience the beef, mainly because it's just so bad.

• 12:13Speaker 03

  It's 36% beef, right? Like, if we're gonna be honest here, it's 36% beef. It's not beef, it's-

• 12:18Speaker 02

  I don't know what it is, if I'm being honest.

• 12:22Speaker 02

  But, but you just don't question these things.

• 12:24Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 12:24Speaker 02

  So, there's a, there's a thing you need to understand. I don't think Taco Bell is a 9 a.m. kind of food.

• 12:29Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 12:30Speaker 02

  I think Taco Bell is like-

• 12:31Speaker 03

  It's fair, okay.

• 12:32Speaker 02

  The only time I eat Taco Bell is, I'm on my computer, late at night, playing Starcraft, and there's literally nothing else open and I'm starving.

• 12:38Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 12:39Speaker 03

  Okay, so we have to have a-

• 12:40Speaker 02

  So when I eat it-

• 12:40Speaker 03

  Climbing gym, Starcraft, Taco Bell, episode of a stand-up. Like, really, if we're gonna do this properly.

• 12:47Speaker 00

  Got it.

• 12:47Speaker 02

  But you have to be like, right in the right mind space, like, Taco Bell isn't something like, when I'm hungry, oh, let's just go get Taco Bell. It has to be like, I'm starving, this is the only thing I can eat at this moment in time. Like, my choices are McDonald's and Taco Bell, right? Those are like 50/50 flip a coin. But, it is delicious. And you, I've never had it with, uh, jalapenos or whatever in there. I didn't even know they had jalapenos at Taco Bell, if I'm being honest.

• 13:09Speaker 00

  They probably don't. This is a weird mystery Taco Bell, that no, that doesn't do anything right. The jalapenos are the best part, though.

• 13:15Speaker 03

  He probably went to Del Taco. That's why this whole thing is confusing right now.

• 13:18Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 13:19Speaker 02

  They're like, chalupa, I don't know, man, Google it, make it up.

• 13:21Speaker 03

  They're like, okay, give him a big fat chicken taco.

• 13:25Speaker 00

  They said, welcome to Taco Bell, like, they thought, they are acting like it's a Taco Bell. That doesn't mean it is.

• 13:29Speaker 03

  Give him a BFCT, okay? He, he'll have no idea.

• 13:32Speaker 00

  Yeah. I wonder if it might just be a bunch of people in there who put up a Taco Bell sign and are like, we're making this up as we go, guys.

• 13:38Speaker 01

  They changed it to like Taco Bell, but it's with an E, it's like the Taco Girl. You know, it's like Taco Bell.

• 13:44Speaker 00

  Yes, yes.

• 13:44Speaker 01

  Oh my-

• 13:45Speaker 00

  Beautiful tacos. Yeah.

• 13:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:47Speaker 00

  It's French tacos.

• 13:48Speaker 03

  That's actually such a-

• 13:50Speaker 02

  Bella tacos.

• 13:50Speaker 03

  How long until, hey, you know what, honestly, great transition. How long until you get, uh, in, uh, some sort of legal trouble from being that close to the actual trademark?

• 14:00Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 14:00Speaker 01

  It was a clean room implementation of the restaurant, okay? So it's totally legal.

• 14:05Speaker 00

  We've never seen their recipes.

• 14:07Speaker 01

  Right.

• 14:08Speaker 03

  We're gonna move yours. It's done. Okay, we're out of this.

• 14:10Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 14:11Speaker 02

  It's cooked.