Meet your new hosts.

In this Episode Zero, we're introducing you to your new hosts, Freya, Georgia, and Rafa. Rafa's correct job title is Senior Brand and Media Manager. Big thanks to Mixa for making this episode possible. Mixa creates ingredient-led skincare that’s dermatologically tested and specifically designed for sensitive skin! From the Urea Repair Cream to the Balm Cica+, a multi-purpose repair balm, you can find the Mixa range at your local Chemist Warehouse. The Room is produced by Dimity Kirkwood. We're a new show, and the best way to support us is by clicking ‘follow’ on Apple and Spotify, and we're super grateful to anyone who leaves a five-star review while they're at it. Also! An old-fashioned 'Tell a Friend In Real Life' is equally appreciated. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Hello everyone, welcome to the room where mothers meet to share their inner world. This is a long time coming. We had the idea for this show way back, oh, it must have been September, October, 2025. So to sit here now and introduce this brand new podcast to you is such a privilege. You don't get to hear my voice much on this show at all. Maybe, in fact, never again. My name is Michelle Andrews. I'm the co-founder of Shameless Media. I've been working behind the scenes with our remarkable production team to bring this show to life. I've also been working with our remarkable podcast hosts. There are three of them. We are introducing you to them today.

• 0:38Speaker 00

  I sat down with our three beloved room hosts a week ago now, and I asked them about their journey into parenthood. I am going to introduce you to them one by one. Before I get there, I want to explain the concept for this show because I think it's a really special one. So you may have seen a month or two ago, we ran something called the Shameless Media Census. It was essentially an exercise to get into the hearts and minds of Australian women. I feel, and I know many of the Shameless Media team feel like there's not necessarily a forum where women can share what's actually going on in their heart and mind.

• 1:17Speaker 00

  Parenting content online can be very inflamed and very emotional, and I don't personally always feel like I can weigh in. I feel like sometimes I see the 5% on either side of a topic yelling at each other, and I feel like there's no room for the 90% in the middle to weigh in. I am so excited about the concept of the census and how the census is going to inform the room because when we did the census, everyone was anonymous. We asked you guys about your marriages. We asked you about your bodies. We asked you about confidence and happiness and contentedness. And you told us exactly what you're thinking and feeling. Some of you spent an hour filling out that survey and letting us into your world.

• 1:58Speaker 00

  And so what you're going to see roll out over the next 12 months of this podcast is an insight to the average Australian woman. The Room's episodes have all been reverse engineered off the back of that content you saw in the census. So you will see so many episodes roll out over the next 12 months about cheating and sex and parenting and motherhood. We will be running the census every single year. So know that when you see it next year, you may be asked about a bunch of different topics again, and that's to inform this very podcast. You can only get these stats and these insights when you listen to The Room. 20,000 people filled out that survey.

• 2:38Speaker 00

  And so you are going to essentially feel like a mirror is being held up to you. Every time you listen, you're looking into a mirror of the Australian woman. And it's just been the most fun, exciting, invigorating project to be a part of. Our three hosts are women who don't have Instagram profiles per se. They're not public figures. They're just really intelligent, amazing women who we found. We did a call out to our community. We said, if you are a mum and you have a hot take, please film yourself for a minute and send it to us. Myself and Zara went through the applicants and we invited a group of women into our studio to pilot. The three women you're going to hear from today, we're at that pilot day.

• 3:21Speaker 00

  You may not be familiar with them, but I think you're going to absolutely love them. The first woman I'm introducing you to, her name is Georgia Ellison. She is a senior solicitor. Her partner's name is Matt. I'm not going to tell you much more than that. That's all you really need to know from the top. She is going to tell you about her journey into parenthood. Let's get into it.

• 3:42Speaker 01

  I think Matt would have wanted to be a father earlier than he, no, not really. Maybe he was just ready earlier than I was.

• 3:48Speaker 00

  A lot of men are. I, I think it's easier for men though, because they're not having to sacrifice so much so quickly, right?

• 3:56Speaker 01

  Yeah. And I think for like, we got married always on the cards. I've always wanted to be a parent, always wanted to be a mother.

• 4:04Speaker 01

  And so I knew it was happening. I just, I suppose, wanted my career to be in a specific spot.

• 4:11Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 4:11Speaker 01

  But interestingly, my, one of my very close family members had her son. And when I met him, it was like biological. I was like, I want one of those and I want one yesterday.

• 4:23Speaker 00

  From that day on, how quick was it that you were pregnant?

• 4:26Speaker 01

  We were really fortunate, but to be honest, when you're in the thick of it, um, time, days feels like months. So I think we fell pregnant on like the fifth month, so extremely fortunate. We went to our first scan and it's like a dating scan. It happens at eight weeks.

• 4:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 4:42Speaker 01

  I actually lied and said that I was eight weeks, but I was really probably going at about six weeks. But we're coming up to Mother's Day and I was like, I want to tell my parents with a traditional, you know, ultrasound photo. Um, that's an easy Mother's Day gift for both my in-law, my mother-in-law and my mother.

• 5:00Speaker 00

  Sorted, yeah.

• 5:01Speaker 01

  Sorted. In that waiting room, I say to Matt, there's actually nothing stopping this from being twins. Because I have twins in my family and I've always had this thought that I might also.

• 5:13Speaker 00

  Like a premonition?

• 5:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. My grandmother has twins. Um, her daughter, my auntie, had twins, uh, about, you know, eight years ago. And when she had her twins, I was like, okay, I reckon.

• 5:28Speaker 00

  This is on the cards.

• 5:28Speaker 01

  This is on the cards for me. And so tell him that in the waiting room.

• 5:33Speaker 00

  Does he have a response or is he just like, you're just saying like dumb stuff?

• 5:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, just like, we're just talking. We're pretty nervous. Like, we're hoping to see something here. It is obviously.

• 5:42Speaker 00

  Cause the heartbeat scan is anxiety inducing. You're hoping to see a flicker or hear a heartbeat.

• 5:47Speaker 01

  And just to, someone else to confirm, you are very much pregnant. Okay. So like, he just wanted that sort of confirmation and validity of what's actually happening.

• 5:54Speaker 00

  Yeah. So I imagine you're lying down on the bed.

• 5:57Speaker 01

  I'm lying down on the bed.

• 5:57Speaker 00

  You have the jelly.

• 5:59Speaker 01

  Straight away.

• 5:59Speaker 00

  Was this an internal ultrasound?

• 6:01Speaker 01

  Not yet.

• 6:01Speaker 00

  Not yet. Okay. Sorry about that. Those suck.

• 6:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:05Speaker 00

  Those are so shit. So you've got jelly on and the ultrasound technician is moving around your belly.

• 6:11Speaker 01

  And then, um, not even, doesn't even move around. She just touches, she's like, oh, there's two.

• 6:16Speaker 00

  Straight away.

• 6:17Speaker 01

  Straight away.

• 6:19Speaker 00

  So you were like, I knew it. I'm so smart.

• 6:21Speaker 01

  I was laughing, crying. Matt's like, I knew it. It was like, oh my God, this is going to be the biggest reveal to my parents. Like, I'm just thinking like.

• 6:28Speaker 00

  Twins.

• 6:29Speaker 01

  Twins. How exciting. Like, honestly, dreams. Um, and just thinking of everyone else's reactions, both Matt and I are like over the moon.

• 6:38Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 6:38Speaker 01

  She goes, oh, you're pretty early, so we're going to have to do an internal examination. So relieve your bladder and come back to me. So for this whole, like, this takes about, say, 10, 10 minutes. I actually remember walking out of the, um, that room, going to the bathroom, like full shaking, being like, I cannot believe this is my life. I'm so happy right now. Like, incredible. And I come back into the room and yeah, she's doing the internal examination, as you said, pretty shit. And she just goes quiet. Yeah. Matt and I are still just like looking at each other. I'm not even looking at the screen, just like laughing.

• 7:11Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 7:12Speaker 01

  She goes quiet. Matt is the first one to say something and he says, oh, oh, what are you, what are you looking at there? And she goes quiet again and she says, uh, I, I'm just going to go get somebody.

• 7:24Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 7:25Speaker 01

  And.

• 7:25Speaker 00

  What's happening in your head? Is it that she can't, that the pregnancies don't look viable?

• 7:31Speaker 01

  No, because from all accounts, yeah, she was just, she were doing all their measurements. No, that was not going through my head.

• 7:37Speaker 00

  Moved on from the two.

• 7:38Speaker 01

  Yeah. And now she's just checking everything. Yeah.

• 7:41Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 7:41Speaker 01

  She leaves the room. I'm not even saying anything to Matt. Not saying anything.

• 7:46Speaker 00

  You go silent.

• 7:46Speaker 01

  I'm just silent. At one point I thought like, what are you finding? Like maybe.

• 7:53Speaker 01

  A cyst? I don't know.

• 7:54Speaker 00

  I was about to say like a polyp, that kind of vibe. Yeah.

• 7:57Speaker 01

  But I've actually reflected on it and I think I did think, there's something else in there. It's got to be a baby. She comes back, she's brought her colleague, the two of them are talking to the screen and to each other, not, not to us yet. And he says, yep, yep, yep, that's measuring right. Let's just make sure it has a heartbeat.

• 8:19Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 8:20Speaker 01

  And so we just go, what? And he says, there are currently three heartbeats. And so we're just like, but what do you mean? And he just like went on to explain it. And I was sort of like, no, no, I get it. But what do you mean?

• 8:36Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, like, there's three? And I'm like, how? How? He's like, yeah, I don't know. Are you on fertility treatment? Like, he, he did ask me that, like, and I said, no, like, I don't know. And sex, just the regular kind, actually. And they just couldn't give us much. They were, it was six weeks.

• 8:56Speaker 00

  Particularly because they're not, like, this isn't your OB.

• 8:58Speaker 01

  No, no.

• 8:59Speaker 00

  Doing a scan. This is a bulk billing clinic.

• 9:01Speaker 01

  That I was trying to get an early scan to show my parents.

• 9:06Speaker 00

  What is the first conversation you have with your husband after learning out you're pregnant with triplets?

• 9:11Speaker 01

  We leave and we're in this waiting room and we came separately. So we're actually in separate cars.

• 9:18Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 9:18Speaker 01

  First thing my husband said to me is like, I, you, we have to go home in the same car. Like, I cannot leave you. And I was like, Matt, it's fine. Like, let's just go home. I was, I was numb. But that evening, Matt and I had travelled home separately. We were supposed to be meeting up with my, two of my best friends and their partners. One of them was already pregnant, so she, we knew that she was pregnant. And we were having dinner and Matt's like, I don't think we should go. Like, we just need to sit here. I'm like, I actually need a complete distraction. We need to go. Went to dinner. They knew we were, they knew we were pregnant. They knew we were having the scan. And they're like, everything good? And we're like, yeah, it's all good. And honestly, it must have been written all over my face. And then halfway through dinner, like, we're literally

• 9:59Speaker 01

  almost packing up to go. Like, I just was exhausted. The, the emotion of the day was just getting to me. And one of my best friends, Liz, goes, oh, I forgot to ask, is it just one?

• 10:09Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 10:11Speaker 01

  I just went obviously white and they're like, oh my God, it's twins.

• 10:18Speaker 00

  Wrong again.

• 10:19Speaker 01

  Wrong again. I couldn't even talk. All I could do was hold up three fingers, fully shaking. And their faces, it's just like pure shock.

• 10:29Speaker 00

  In a restaurant?

• 10:30Speaker 01

  No, just at a friend's house, thank goodness. I couldn't actually talk. And they were like, oh my God. And then we obviously couldn't leave after that. So we had to spend the entire night talking with two of my best friends, their partners, which was probably really, really useful for Matt and I.

• 10:45Speaker 00

  Very cathartic.

• 10:46Speaker 01

  Very cathartic, of course. So much support. It's going to be fine. You're gonna be fine. You were too, uh, literally made for this. Like, if any could, you know, this, the, all of the beautiful sort of supportive comments that you'd expect of your best friends. And then coming into the Sunday, Mother's Day, similarly, we got that from my parents.

• 11:05Speaker 00

  Fast forward to maybe your second trimester.

• 11:07Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 11:08Speaker 00

  How are you doing? How's everything feeling?

• 11:10Speaker 01

  I'm eating like an absolute hippo. I think we got into the swing of things. Like, it's, we knew it was going to be a short pregnancy. My, um.

• 11:19Speaker 00

  What were you aiming for in weeks?

• 11:21Speaker 01

  I was aiming for about thirty-four.

• 11:23Speaker 00

  That's a lot, right? Thirty-four weeks for triplets is a lot. Is it, is average between thirty and thirty-two, am I right?

• 11:29Speaker 01

  Term is thirty-two weeks.

• 11:30Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 11:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:31Speaker 00

  And how did it go?

• 11:32Speaker 01

  Well, everything was tracking along lovely until about, I think I got like a round of applause at, uh, by the hospital staff at twenty-eight weeks, which is where things obviously track differently for when, um, babies are born. So I think the rates of survival really increase when you hit that twenty-eight, um, week gestational period. So I got like a round of applause, which was great, but I was also still working at that time. And they were like, you actually need to stop. You need to stop working. We need to like pack your hospital bag. Like, things can change really quickly here. Things sort of took a turn at, I think it was, it must have been just shy of twenty-nine weeks, where A, B and C,

• 12:14Speaker 01

  A and B were, uh, having uneven growth. They were sharing a placenta. And one was having a reduction in growth. So they were like, we need to monitor this. Um, we need to admit you to hospital and you need to have a steroid injection to mature the children's lungs. Because they are going to be born now within a two-week period. And so at thirty-one weeks and four days, I went in for a scan. And the technician said, the uneven growth has sort of surpassed and the children will, will, one particular, um, triplet A, who ended up being my son Marlo, he will grow better on the outside now.

• 12:56Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 12:57Speaker 01

  Yeah. So this is your signifier. We're getting you ready for delivery.

• 13:01Speaker 00

  How did it feel to meet your babies?

• 13:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, like beautiful. My C-section was pretty lovely in the end. Like, we had this incredible team. You can imagine the amount of people that are in that room. I think there was a paediatrician for each of the children. Each of them had their own NICU nurses.

• 13:20Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 13:21Speaker 01

  Um, I had the people that are around me doing the cesarean, as well as like two OBs, like, I think it was some higher person in the hospital at that point. And the room was beautiful. Everyone was gorgeous. We had like a lovely playlist that Matt and I had sort of developed over the time. Um, we knew that there were three boys in there, so we had this playlist that we'd called Boy Time playing in the background. And, um, yeah, it was great. Like, the cesarean was beautiful. For as, as chaotic it seemed, it really did feel really calm. And it was really calm in the room. And we've got the sheet in front of me, here's one, here's two, and here's three. And it was just like that. They didn't get onto my chest. I was far too young.

• 14:05Speaker 00

  How little were they?

• 14:07Speaker 01

  My first son is Marlo and he was born at twelve hundred grams, one point two kilos. Second son is Finn and he was born at sixteen hundred grams, one point six kilos. My big whopper, who was very tiny, was Jude and he was born at one point nine kilos. And so they were rushed off to NICU.

• 14:25Speaker 00

  You couldn't hold them?

• 14:26Speaker 01

  No, no, they're tiny.

• 14:28Speaker 00

  How did you and your partner go with that? You knew that was gonna happen?

• 14:32Speaker 01

  We knew. We, we had been briefed. I knew the ins and outs of what's gonna happen, but you can't really prepare. You really can't. It was always decided that obviously I needed to be stitched up. He would follow the babies and straight away, the, the midwife was collecting colostrum for myself.

• 14:49Speaker 00

  You exclusively breastfed your babies?

• 14:51Speaker 01

  I did for a little bit, yeah.

• 14:52Speaker 00

  How many months did you?

• 14:54Speaker 01

  Exclusively breastfed the boys for five months.

• 14:57Speaker 00

  Three babies for five months? It blew my mind when you told me this like six months ago and it blows my mind now. How does that work? Were you pumping when they were in the NICU?

• 15:09Speaker 01

  Yeah. And Matt followed them to NICU. The midwife was collecting colostrum. They're far too young to take something straight away. Yeah, exactly. They don't get that suck, swallow and breathe.

• 15:21Speaker 00

  Thirty-six weeks, isn't it?

• 15:22Speaker 01

  Yeah. And they were born at, um, yeah, just shy of thirty-two. So I was just pumping every, I think at the beginning, I think it was every forty-five to fifty minutes.

• 15:33Speaker 00

  I am in awe of that.

• 15:36Speaker 01

  I, I just.

• 15:38Speaker 00

  Were you in awe of yourself? Like, do you look back at that now?

• 15:41Speaker 01

  I mean, now I can. And I think, yeah, like, and it was one of those things that when I found out I was having triplets, there was so much I could not control. I sort of lost the motherhood thought that I was gonna have, or the motherhood experience. And breastfeeding was like one of the things that I could sort of control.

• 16:03Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 16:03Speaker 01

  And so I was pretty determined to give it a go. And so when they said you need to pump to begin with.

• 16:09Speaker 00

  All the time, basically.

• 16:10Speaker 01

  All the time. They were able to have that through the tube until they got that reflex, um, to suck, swallow and breathe at the same time until they could have like a suck feed.

• 16:21Speaker 00

  How long were they in NICU for?

• 16:23Speaker 01

  They were in NICU for like only a few days, actually.

• 16:26Speaker 00

  Really?

• 16:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. But then special care.

• 16:29Speaker 00

  So few days in NICU and then into special care nursery. How long in the nursery?

• 16:34Speaker 01

  Thirty-two days.

• 16:35Speaker 00

  So you couldn't take them home for over a month?

• 16:37Speaker 01

  No, no.

• 16:38Speaker 00

  How did it feel to go home without your babies?

• 16:40Speaker 01

  Oh, like, so unnatural, like so unnatural. Leaving that hospital, knowing full well that that's where they needed to be. Um, and knowing that that was going to be my experience and understanding that they were safe and well looked after, like the special care nursing staff are actual angels on earth. But it is just, I hate thinking about it. It's just awful. It is, I can see myself walking out of the hospital without them, not being pregnant, not pushing a pram and I'm just alone. It's so awful. It's so hard. But I was well looked after. I went straight back to my parents' house. Matt and I were living there and

• 17:24Speaker 01

  I really needed time to like recover. And I needed help to get into the groove of pumping. And, yeah, recover from my cesarean section and then be able to be well enough to go and see them every day and spend time with them, have that body contact constantly. So Matt and I just got into a very big routine of pumping every hour and a half throughout the night.

• 17:49Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 17:50Speaker 01

  He was my wet nurse.

• 17:51Speaker 00

  Sleep and I was like, no, no, no.

• 17:53Speaker 01

  No, no, no, no.

• 17:54Speaker 00

  That pumping schedule.

• 17:54Speaker 01

  Yes, yes.

• 17:55Speaker 00

  It's literally like you had to be a professional athlete in the world of breastfeeding, like to do that for three children.

• 18:03Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 18:04Speaker 00

  It's just wild.

• 18:05Speaker 01

  It is, it is wild.

• 18:07Speaker 00

  Tell me about taking your kids home.

• 18:08Speaker 01

  Oh, it was the best. We were so ready. They were ready. Once the tubes had come off them, they just needed to hit a certain weight goal.

• 18:15Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 18:15Speaker 01

  And thankfully, the three of the boys were tracking along very similarly, except for my son, um, Marlo. Like grams, when you're a baby, when you have a baby, like, you'll know, they're really significant. Like, having those weight gains, you know, every two days or whatever. Um, forty grams is something to be really proud of. Sixty grams, wow. Like, so we were just tracking along nicely. So they needed to hit a certain weight, which I think was about two and a half kilos before they could come home and have full suck feeds, so full breastfeeds, if that's what I was planning on doing. They came home early December in twenty twenty-two and it was incredible. We were so ready to bring them home to our house. We had been.

• 18:54Speaker 00

  Christmas together.

• 18:55Speaker 01

  We had Christmas together, these tiny little things.

• 18:58Speaker 00

  Fast forward to now, how old are they?

• 19:00Speaker 01

  They're almost four.

• 19:01Speaker 00

  Almost four. You've been a triplet mum for four years. I feel very privileged to have your perspective on this podcast. I think, um, you get to fly the flag for multiple mums.

• 19:15Speaker 01

  I do. And it's a flag I will hold with some serious responsibility, I promise you.

• 19:21Speaker 00

  Georgia, thank you. It's been so nice to hear a synopsis of your story. And I know we're gonna hear so much more on The Room very, very soon.

• 19:28Speaker 01

  Thank you, Mish.

• 19:30Speaker 00

  Coming up after the break, I wanna introduce you guys to Rafa Husain.

• 19:36Speaker 01

  If you've ever been to a French pharmacy.

• 19:38Speaker 02

  You'll know that they really understand good skincare. Mixer has been a mainstay of French households for over a hundred years. And their no-nonsense, high-performance skincare is all about giving you skin you don't have to think about. They create ingredient-led skincare that's dermatologically tested and specifically designed for sensitive skin. With four targeted ranges and family-friendly formulas, simplifying the family routine into one brand you can always trust. Take their urea CC repair cream, an everyday hero for dry, rough and sensitive skin. If you have very dry skin, this is the cream for you. Urea is a humectant, which means it can draw moisture from the environment or from a deeper layer of skin, bringing it to the upper layer. Then there's the balm, Cica Plus, a multi-purpose repair balm that's suitable for the whole family.

• 20:23Speaker 02

  From three-month-old babies right up to adults. From dry, chafed skin to infant redness, think of it as the moisture barrier hero of your household. And we all know how important a healthy skin barrier is. You can find the Mixer range at your local chemist warehouse. And thank you so much to Mixer for making this episode of The Room Possible.

• 20:43Speaker 00

  Next up, I'm introducing you to Rafa Husain. She is a Senior Brand Experience Manager, like a marketing girly for all marketing girlies. Her partner's name is Will. She has the most beautiful voice for audio I think I've ever heard in my life. We're kicking off Rafa's interview with how she met her partner.

• 21:04Speaker 03

  I decided after graduating uni that I'd take a gap year with a few girlfriends. And we did Europe for like nine months backpacking, which was amazing. And I held my going away drinks. My girlfriend had just started dating a guy and he brought all of his friends to my going away. And I said hi to this bunch of guys and I was like, he's handsome, he's handsome, blah, blah, blah. But I'm going away for nine months, so I don't care. And so off I went, travelled, fast forward three years, I'm at a barbecue with a few mutual friends. And I meet this guy and he is, you know, in my line of sight for most of the day at this barbecue. And he's like hanging around. We ended up chatting, had the best night and then we went on to like have a couple of dates. I decided to call it quits. I was just like, you know what? I'm getting like a little bit of a vibe of like non-committal energy.

• 21:48Speaker 03

  Six to eight weeks later, we end up catching up and seeing each other at a music festival. And I think it clicked for him. He was like, oh, I let a really good thing go. Anyways, fast forward a few hours into that night, Disclosure were headlining Listen Out. And all of a sudden I'm on his shoulders and we're partying and we reconnected. Then from then on, it was like on and I was moving to New York three months later and he came with me.

• 22:09Speaker 00

  Am I right in thinking it was when you were living in New York that your dad passed away?

• 22:13Speaker 03

  It is. Yeah, yeah. So I think you go overseas, or if you do choose to have that experience,

• 22:23Speaker 03

  you go in like a carefree sort of manner. So I was 28 and had done two years in New York. And December sort of, eighth rolls around 2017 and it was just any other ordinary day. But obviously for me, the day that completely changed my life. And you get that call and mum said, your dad's died on a holiday in Bangladesh. She had a heart attack and it will never not be one of the most tragic days of my life. That trip back from New York by myself to Australia was fucked. Like it was horrific. You're walking around an airport and you're like, my dad has died.

• 23:01Speaker 00

  Anyone who's-

• 23:02Speaker 03

  No one else, you know, can see that.

• 23:04Speaker 00

  It's a funny one because I think I used to hear people talk about the loss of a parent before I experienced it myself. It's incredibly difficult to imagine how unanchored you feel when you lose a parent. It's such a-

• 23:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:19Speaker 00

  A feeling of like listlessness or just completely, yeah.

• 23:23Speaker 03

  And it goes on and on and on, you know? And you experience like, I think the biggest change from grief is gratitude, I would say. In my time over the last nine years, but that only comes with time. And it's certainly like, you know, it's not been an easy journey. But for Will and I, I just felt so profoundly grateful that he knew my dad. I can't imagine, and there would be so many people that do meet partners that have lost a parent who don't know who they are. And I really do feel for that experience because, you know, to know and love that person and for dad to have loved Will

• 24:08Speaker 03

  was so important to the point that Will proposed the day after I got back from New York, when I officially moved back. He took me on a getaway to Cape Shank in Red Hill. And he proposed at the lighthouse at sunrise there. And I was like, this guy's crazy. Like who proposes, you know, within six months of losing a parent? But for him, it was like, no, I am like your rock. And I'm going to be the person that is going to carry you through in whatever shape that looks like for us.

• 24:36Speaker 00

  It's so lovely you can express the gratitude that Will and your father knew each other.

• 24:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:41Speaker 00

  Your father didn't meet your children.

• 24:44Speaker 03

  No.

• 24:45Speaker 00

  Do you want to talk to me about the experience of falling pregnant and the fertility journey you went through?

• 24:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, of course. Yeah. I am quite studious. I love reading, research data. So I was like, how can I optimize my health to get pregnant? And I'm pretty happy I did that, to be honest, because we went on to have a bit of a challenging journey. I had a 10-month journey to conception with Rumi, so my son. And it took a lot longer and I was like, I'm doing all these things and why isn't it working? And, you know, I'm optimizing supplements and all that sort of stuff.

• 25:16Speaker 00

  Interesting. My fertility journey was interesting as well for a bunch of different reasons. But what I've really experienced as more and more of my friends have tried to fall pregnant around me is it's really become clear the psychological toll trying for a baby takes and how quickly that toll becomes heavy to hold.

• 25:37Speaker 03

  Oh my gosh, absolutely.

• 25:38Speaker 00

  I really do think of all the women in my life who I've witnessed go through this, by month three or four, it does become quite heavy.

• 25:45Speaker 03

  Or you can't think about anything else, right? Because my biggest challenge and what I was trying to grapple with was like, you get told you're going to sneeze on a guy in high school and they're going to get pregnant.

• 25:55Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 25:55Speaker 03

  Then you try and-

• 25:56Speaker 00

  I would do pregnancy tests when I had never had sex. I was like, what's going to happen to me?

• 26:01Speaker 03

  We genuinely thought like-

• 26:03Speaker 00

  Catholic schoolgirl if anyone's wondering.

• 26:05Speaker 03

  Contagious like the flu. And then guess what? It's not, you have three days or something in your cycle to get pregnant when you're fertile. No one tells you that. All of a sudden, a month later, I'm peeing on sticks, trying to find my ovulation window. I'm like, why hasn't anyone told me this? And something that stayed with me that I heard was like, how sad that we announce sometimes just the getting pregnant part and not the announcing of trying to get pregnant. Because that can feel very lonely and very dark, very quickly.

• 26:33Speaker 00

  Particularly for women who then, I mean, the advice is to sacrifice a lot as soon as you're trying to get pregnant.

• 26:39Speaker 03

  The health, optimize, eat well.

• 26:41Speaker 00

  And you're living on a schedule. All of a sudden, it's not about, okay, today's Monday. It's today's Monday, day 14 of my cycle.

• 26:49Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 26:50Speaker 00

  I'm pregnant or I'm not pregnant. Like your whole mindset shifts.

• 26:54Speaker 03

  You know, post getting a negative pregnancy test each month. And then you have to do it all again. And I, I had this feeling. I was like, something's not right. So I just sent to my GP and I was like, look, I'm 35. I want to get fertility treatment. And they were like, you might be overcooking it, but I'm so glad I did. Because I went to a fertility treatment centre and they were like, yeah, you've got, you know, ovulation challenges. We've, we've tested you this month and it's jumped all over the place. So I did ovulation induction and I got pregnant the first cycle. So I was very fortunate. My journey to the challenge kind of ended in a really great news story.

• 27:35Speaker 03

  I think I would have felt very deflated if I got to fertility treatment and then they told me I had to do all these things to optimize. But I'd kind of been on that protocol. So similar to the studious element, I'd been seeing a naturopath. I'd gone to acupuncture.

• 27:51Speaker 00

  I was like acupuncture the whole, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 27:54Speaker 03

  Like you name it, people like, it's the most rough thing of all time to like-

• 27:58Speaker 00

  You threw everything at it.

• 27:59Speaker 03

  I threw everything at it. And I had a great fertility naturopath that had just like told me about all these like things. She's like, I'm going to put you on the protocol that you will eventually-

• 28:08Speaker 00

  Were you wearing socks all the time?

• 28:09Speaker 03

  No.

• 28:10Speaker 00

  Okay, that was a big one for me for fertility. I was told by my acupuncturist, heat, yeah, yeah.

• 28:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, I have the opposite. I overheat. So I had really good, unless she's like, you circulate by the two months. She's like, cool down, cool down. So yeah.

• 28:24Speaker 00

  You have Rumi. And look, I would love to ask you about your birth story because to be honest, I'd love to ask you about everything. But I need to remember, we need to save some things for the podcast. And this is purely for people to get an understanding of your kind of synopsis.

• 28:35Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 28:36Speaker 00

  You have Rumi.

• 28:37Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 28:38Speaker 00

  What was surprising a few months after you had Rumi?

• 28:41Speaker 03

  Something pretty gigantic. So um four months postpartum breastfeeding exclusively. I'm on the pill. I've been on the pill for a month and I start, you know, you know, Will and I, I think we had a moment where the baby's sleeping through the night for a couple of hours. I've gone into the separate room.

• 29:00Speaker 00

  Let's try.

• 29:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, let's try. And he's like, maybe some cocktails.

• 29:04Speaker 00

  When I say try, by the way, for our own listening, I mean, well, if I'm thinking of myself, my husband, let's try to have sex. It's the question, not let's try for another baby. Exactly. Let's see what, yeah, what's that world? Can we possibly have sex at the moment?

• 29:16Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 29:17Speaker 00

  Did you have a vaginal birth?

• 29:18Speaker 03

  I did. Yeah. Yeah. I had, I had an episiotomy and um so was going to, like, there was nervousness for sure.

• 29:25Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 29:25Speaker 03

  Um, and so, but it, first experience was pretty good.

• 29:29Speaker 00

  Good.

• 29:29Speaker 03

  I was like, kind of glad that's over.

• 29:31Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tick. Tick. Great.

• 29:33Speaker 03

  Things are, yeah, yeah, they're kind of doing what they need to do down there. So I was like, very happy architecturally. Um, twelve.

• 29:43Speaker 00

  Structural integrity.

• 29:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's okay. Ten weeks later, I'm not feeling great. Like, I've got nauseous nurse. I went off coffee. I'm having matcha all of a sudden and I was like, this is so weird. Like, I meant to be feeling great and just feel like a bit of a fog. And we're getting ready to go overseas and I'm like, I can't park. Like, I'm not feeling very well. My mum comes over to help me and I went to bed that day. Will is an event producer. He was on site at an event. And because I'd done fertility treatment the first time around, the acupuncture lady that I was working with, the naturopath, had said, wear a fit bit or like a garment to check your heart rate. A sign of a positive pregnancy can be elevated heart rate. The month I got pregnant with Rumi, my heart rate had elevated.

• 30:29Speaker 03

  My resting heart rate had gone to like one eighteen. I'm lying in bed and I'm like, I just feel really hot. And I look down at my garment and my heart rate is one eighteen. The exact same number.

• 30:41Speaker 00

  I'm kidding. I just got goosebumps. Not that this isn't amazing, but it's just, it would be so.

• 30:48Speaker 03

  It was, and you know, when like everything just comes rushing back. I'm like, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh. When did we have sex?

• 30:55Speaker 00

  And was it that one time?

• 30:57Speaker 03

  One time.

• 30:57Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 30:58Speaker 03

  Oh my God. And then I'm like, matcha.

• 31:01Speaker 00

  I'm off coffee.

• 31:03Speaker 03

  Matcha for the last three weeks, which I don't like matcha. But I only had a twin pregnancy.

• 31:11Speaker 00

  I could not. As soon as I was pregnant with Sadie, I love coffee. Like, I'd wake, I got to sleeping. Like, I can't wait for tomorrow's coffee.

• 31:18Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 31:18Speaker 00

  I couldn't. I couldn't even like smell it. Fuck. So your brain was like.

• 31:22Speaker 03

  I've gone, how long I've been matcha? And there was a pregnancy test in our cupboard.

• 31:27Speaker 00

  And you were just a little bit pregnant. By this point, you're like, what?

• 31:30Speaker 03

  Three months.

• 31:30Speaker 00

  That's three months.

• 31:31Speaker 03

  I could do, I.

• 31:33Speaker 00

  What did you?

• 31:34Speaker 03

  Peeed on that stick and it came back so heavily pregnant. The line was there within three seconds.

• 31:39Speaker 00

  How did you feel?

• 31:40Speaker 03

  I had Rumi crying in the next room and I fell to the ground. I was devastated. I was so devastated. Like, every thought went through my brain. I can't have this baby right now. I'm just turned a corner postpartum. How can this same body that had difficulty conceiving get pregnant on the pill? Like, riddle me that. How does that happen? Um, you know, I'd love to say that I had gratitude immediately. I did not. Like, I wrestled with and grappled with the fact whether or not we were going to continue with this pregnancy. I feel sick saying that now because I've got the most gorgeous daughter who was meant to be here.

• 32:14Speaker 00

  But so many women, I could point to so many women I personally know and love.

• 32:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:21Speaker 00

  Would totally relate to that experience of this was so not in the plan. I was so excited for so many other things.

• 32:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:29Speaker 00

  And now I just feel sick.

• 32:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, feel sick. And I just had this like moment where I said to Will, I was like, I'm standing at the bottom of a mountain that I do not want to climb. I've already climbed one. I am, I do not want to do this again. Yeah. Look, like, we know the story. It ends up being a really smooth pregnancy and I saw, you'll, you'll learn this about me. I saw a tarot card reader. She's like, pull your cards. And I pull the greatest family love card. It's called the cup of hearts or something like that. She's like, are you newly pregnant? And I was like, or about to have a baby or have had a baby. And I was like, boo.

• 33:11Speaker 03

  And she's like, what's happened? And I was like, I'm newly pregnant. I've got a six month old baby. She's like, your son wants this baby. And what she didn't know is that Rumi's pregnancy started as a twin pregnancy. So because I'd done ovulation induction, it's quite common.

• 33:27Speaker 00

  For two eggs.

• 33:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, mature two eggs. Um, and you sign off on that risk. And yeah, they were like, you've got two quite good mature follicles here.

• 33:36Speaker 00

  So you're going to have fraternal twins?

• 33:38Speaker 03

  Um, fraternal twins. Yeah. So two heartbeats at my um twelve week scan. Oh no, eight week scan. And then um by the twelve week scan, that second heartbeat had fallen away. So the obstetrician at the time was like, it's a good news story. You have one really healthy embryo. But you've just gone on that journey. You're like trying to get pregnant, can't get pregnant, get pregnant, twins, then one. Um, so for us, Lila is the sibling that Rumi like called in and probably why the timeline happened the way that it ended up happening at. So um, you know, I had my husband, he was like, I'm going to go on the journey of what you want to go on

• 34:17Speaker 03

  with this second pregnancy, but I can't help but feel she is just absolutely meant to be here and she is. So yeah, I feel so fortunate. It's been um an incredible chapter becoming parents to two kids within thirteen months.

• 34:30Speaker 00

  Fast forward now, how old are they?

• 34:31Speaker 03

  Rumi's two years and five months and Lila is one year and two months.

• 34:35Speaker 00

  Wow. No, it's all right. No, no, no. Someone asked me today how old Sadie is and I went, yeah. She's between, I was like, I think sixteen months, but honestly, from thirteen onwards, I've just been getting lost in the soup.

• 34:48Speaker 03

  You get like, I think you do twelve months and then I'm like, can we just get to years?

• 34:50Speaker 00

  I'm like, less than eighteen, more than twelve.

• 34:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, so thirteen month gap between the two. Um, and they're coming to that really cute stage where they interact.

• 35:00Speaker 00

  With each other.

• 35:00Speaker 03

  They're like loving each other, also hating on each other. Um, I think Rumi has been an incredible older brother to her in like, he's been so accommodating of this baby in our life, especially given how young he was. She started to move though in the last six weeks and he's like, I don't know if I like you as much. You'll like it in my toys. So um we've got a lot to look forward to. But still in the trenches for sure. Um, you know, learning each day of like how to wrangle a two and a half year old boy with lots of big feelings whilst, you know, navigating Lila kind of starting to walk and things like that. But you know, all the good stuff that I hope that we get to unpack on this show as well.

• 35:37Speaker 00

  Oh, we will be unpacking it and we're just so grateful and lucky to have you on this show. I know this was a very quick synopsis. We'll get into so much more depth and detail as the show unfolds, but we are just so grateful and excited to have you here.

• 35:52Speaker 03

  Thank you. I'm thrilled um for the opportunity and yeah, can't wait.

• 35:58Speaker 00

  That was Rafa. Up next, we have Freya. Freya is a pediatric registrar. She is married to Rui. You don't need to hear any more from me other than she is whip smart and amazing and I can't wait for you to hear this interview. We're kicking off again with how Freya and Rui met.

• 36:15Speaker 01

  So we met in twenty eighteen. Uh, he was living in Melbourne at the time. So I'm from Tassie originally, grew up in Hobart and went to uni there. And I had a uni placement in Melbourne and I was only here for two weeks. And I like had Tinder on my phone. I was like, I'm gonna go like all these hot Melbourne guys, you know.

• 36:35Speaker 00

  I'm gonna have a fling.

• 36:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm like, there's not that many. You kind of, I mean, I don't know if this happens in Melbourne because I've not really dated in Melbourne apart from those two weeks. But in Hobart, at least back then, you would get to the end of Tinder. There'd be no one else to scroll through.

• 36:50Speaker 00

  That's it. That's it, Paul. Yeah, yeah.

• 36:52Speaker 01

  It's small. It was funny. I almost didn't go on a date with him.

• 36:55Speaker 00

  We obviously got along very well and I was in Melbourne. Fast? It was like, okay, I'm here in Melbourne, but I'm, I'm really into you. I'm serious about this.

• 37:03Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, and we kind of, we became official within a week of meeting each other because I had to go back to Hobart.

• 37:09Speaker 00

  You and I are really similar in this way.

• 37:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, we were, I think we were saying I love you within a few weeks.

• 37:15Speaker 00

  Zero to a hundred.

• 37:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 37:17Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 37:17Speaker 01

  We were out for drinks quite early on and we were both like, both probably had a few drinks. And I think I said something, it was a very loud bar. And I said something like, oh, I just, I really love that about you or something. And he was like, I love you too.

• 37:29Speaker 00

  No, I love that so much.

• 37:32Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. And I was like, mm.

• 37:34Speaker 04

  I think I only told him a couple of years later, cause someone asked who said I love you first. He was like, Freya did or something, actually.

• 37:41Speaker 00

  It's time for you to finally know.

• 37:43Speaker 04

  But it was still, it was pretty early on. And then we were doing long distance, like long distance between Hobart and Melbourne for eighteen months. And then I moved to Melbourne.

• 37:52Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 37:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:53Speaker 00

  And you got married?

• 37:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:56Speaker 00

  When did you get married?

• 37:57Speaker 04

  We got married about eighteen months ago.

• 38:00Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 38:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, started twenty twenty five.

• 38:01Speaker 00

  Tell me about the trying to conceive journey.

• 38:04Speaker 04

  So I always thought I'd have trouble because I've got, well, it's now called P Moss.

• 38:11Speaker 00

  It used to be PCOS?

• 38:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. They've changed it very recently. Um, and I like, I got maybe two periods a year when I wasn't on birth control. So I thought it would take a while. So we just sort of started not trying to avoid.

• 38:30Speaker 00

  You left it up to fate.

• 38:31Speaker 04

  Yeah. And I was also a little bit paralyzed with indecision about timing. When you're a trainee doctor, you don't have much control over where you work, when you work, how long you work. I kind of just thought it might take me a while. I don't want to risk not having kids. So anyway, we'll stop trying to avoid and see what happens. And I think I was pregnant within a couple of months.

• 38:52Speaker 00

  Really?

• 38:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, which I was really surprised by. It must have been like my one ovulation a year.

• 38:57Speaker 00

  Yeah, and you were excited?

• 38:59Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it was funny cause I, my first symptom was I had a really bad flare of acne. So I was gonna take some antibiotics to treat it. I was like, oh, you're not meant to take them when you're pregnant. I'll just.

• 39:12Speaker 00

  It's very doctor.

• 39:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, I'll just make sure I'm not pregnant and then I can take my antibiotics. And yeah, it was positive. I couldn't believe it. Yeah.

• 39:22Speaker 00

  Did you have a good pregnancy?

• 39:24Speaker 04

  Uh, no.

• 39:25Speaker 00

  Oh, I'm so sorry.

• 39:26Speaker 04

  I had a terrible.

• 39:27Speaker 00

  Did you?

• 39:28Speaker 04

  I sort of, I think, you know, got pregnant very easily. So I was very lucky in that sense, but I had hyperemesis.

• 39:34Speaker 00

  I feel like a lot of women though feel like they have to do that. We're like, well, I'm lucky in a million ways. It's like, yeah, but unlucky in others. Hyperemesis fucking sucks. I've seen women I love go through it. It, it just appears to be an awful time.

• 39:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, it was dreadful. I had six weeks off. Well, I was on a lot of medication.

• 39:54Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 39:55Speaker 04

  So I actually wasn't vomiting that much, but it was twenty four seven.

• 39:58Speaker 00

  Noja.

• 39:59Speaker 04

  Yeah, like it was, I had about six weeks off work and it was kind of, I need to shower today. And that's, that's my goal.

• 40:09Speaker 00

  Bedridden.

• 40:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. I couldn't, I couldn't open the fridge. I couldn't, even when the dishwasher was clean, I couldn't open the dishwasher. When I was working on my walk into work from where I parked the car, there was a house that smelt like hot chips. And I would like gag if I walked past this house. I had to take a different route to work. So I'd avoid.

• 40:29Speaker 00

  Any other time of your life, you're like yum.

• 40:30Speaker 04

  Yeah. Well, when I wasn't pregnant, before I got pregnant, it wasn't the hot chip house. It didn't smell like hot chips.

• 40:37Speaker 00

  It was just the house.

• 40:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, but I'd like use this super sense of smell.

• 40:40Speaker 00

  Were you able to eat?

• 40:42Speaker 04

  Uh, not really. So in the first trimester, I lost weight actually. Um, and I was so sick. There were weeks where all I ate was wheat bix and yogurt. Um, so I got very anemic. Yeah, I wasn't well. And it was funny cause I went into the pregnancy and I'm like, you know, I'll eat really healthy and exercise and blah, blah, blah. Like Goldie, my daughter was probably like, like trying to get every last little nutrient from this like shriveled little umbilical cord of like water. Um, but anyway, got through it, but that was.

• 41:16Speaker 00

  It's rough.

• 41:16Speaker 04

  It was really rough.

• 41:17Speaker 00

  Yeah. You also encountered something quite traumatic when you were pregnant.

• 41:23Speaker 04

  Be, before the birth.

• 41:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 41:24Speaker 04

  I know. Well, so my special treat for myself, and it kind of worked well because of how the clinical years work in medicine. But when I was thirty four weeks was the start of the new clinical year. And I was like, well, I won't start a new job for just a couple of weeks.

• 41:38Speaker 00

  Good time for Mat Leave to start.

• 41:39Speaker 04

  Yeah. And I was like, you know what? I've had such a horrible pregnancy. I'm gonna go on Mat Leave at thirty four weeks.

• 41:45Speaker 00

  Give myself six to seven, maybe even eight weeks.

• 41:48Speaker 04

  An induction at thirty nine. So I was like, great.

• 41:51Speaker 00

  Five weeks of bliss.

• 41:52Speaker 04

  I had all these Pilates classes booked in and massages and blah, blah, blah. And I was, day one of Mat Leave, thirty four weeks, I was driving to my pregnancy massage and.

• 42:03Speaker 00

  You were driving to a massage? I did not know that part. Okay, the listeners are gonna really, you were driving to a pregnancy massage and what happened?

• 42:11Speaker 04

  Day one of Mat Leave. Um, and someone essentially, uh, I was driving along a straight road and they rear ended me and pushed me into oncoming traffic. And I got hit from the front as well.

• 42:23Speaker 00

  Are you comfortable talking about this?

• 42:25Speaker 04

  Oh, I mean, I've spoken about it so much. It's funny because I feel like during my work.

• 42:29Speaker 00

  Heard it heaps.

• 42:29Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

• 42:31Speaker 00

  So you were pushed into oncoming traffic?

• 42:33Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. So I got hit from the back and hit from the front and car immediately written off. Kind of smoking, crushed front. And I hit my stomach on the steering, you know, I was pretty pregnant, hit my stomach on the steering wheel. Then all I remember is, everyone's rushed. It was funny cause I remember getting out of the car and everyone going, she's pregnant. And like running out from the shops and everything. I was like, oh, don't, it's like that big a deal. It's all right.

• 43:03Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's hard in those moments cause I think our brain sometimes goes, well, don't make a fuss. Don't make a fuss. Oh my God, it's, everything's fine. Everyone stopped freaking out.

• 43:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 43:11Speaker 00

  Was there an internal monologue happening for you that was freaking out?

• 43:14Speaker 04

  So I had some pain in my stomach and I couldn't feel her move. And so I was like, oh, I've had a placental abruption, like a traumatic abruption. She didn't move for several hours after that. So I was taken to hospital and I was in recess and everything. Um, and it was probably about an hour between the accident and when someone like actually put an ultrasound probe on my belly to check for a heartbeat. Cause I mean, they're trying to stabilize you and everything first, which I get, that's the priority. Uh, but that was just the most sort of surreal moment. Just so scary. Yeah.

• 43:57Speaker 00

  And time goes weird, I think, when you're faced with a situation like that. Seconds don't feel like seconds, minutes don't feel like minutes.

• 44:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. And I, like I, it was funny. I'm like, I just, can someone give me an ultrasound? Like I just, I need to check.

• 44:11Speaker 00

  Did you feel like as well, it's kind of the burden of knowing too much as a doctor with the knowledge you have? I mean, a lot of women might even hear the terminology of placental abruption and go, what is that? Like, I know that hitting my stomach's not good.

• 44:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 44:25Speaker 00

  But maybe I don't know the level of detail that you sitting here as a doctor do know.

• 44:30Speaker 04

  It's funny. I was thinking about this the other day, cause people often ask me that with my daughter, does being a Peds doctor make you more anxious about things? Cause you know how bad things can get. And I think with the example of her, it almost makes me less stressed. Because I can look at her, I definitely have the thoughts. I have the, the anxious thoughts of she'll do a funny movement and I think, oh, she's having an infantile spasm. Because I know what that is. Cause I've treated kids with that, like essentially a seizure disorder. But then I can also have enough knowledge to say, okay, well, no, when I hold her hand, it stops. And a seizure wouldn't stop when you suppress it. So that helps with her.

• 45:10Speaker 04

  But in pregnancy, I think I knew enough to know everything that could go wrong, but not enough to comfort myself.

• 45:17Speaker 00

  So they put the ultrasound on your stomach. Sorry, that was probably terrible medical terminology, but they check the heartbeat.

• 45:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 45:23Speaker 00

  And there is a heartbeat.

• 45:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 45:25Speaker 00

  What is the next instruction to you?

• 45:28Speaker 04

  I had to get, uh, all my scans done. So that was another thing I was sort of a bit bummed about. Cause I had to get a full, full body CTs basically, um, which is a lot of radiation for a fetus. I've worked a bit in pediatric oncology, like, I, like, I don't know.

• 45:45Speaker 00

  Again, know too much.

• 45:46Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. So I was a bit, I was anxious about that. Um, but we, yeah, we did all the scans. I had the CTG monitoring on for four hours. And that whole time I was in a neck brace and in the kind of left lateral position with a wedge onto my back. And it was.

• 46:03Speaker 00

  Cause you had real injuries. When you started piloting for this podcast, you still had a wrist brace on.

• 46:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 46:09Speaker 00

  This was like a serious car accident where you were.

• 46:11Speaker 04

  Well, I mean, I always think like it could have been so much worse.

• 46:15Speaker 00

  Yes. Yeah, it could have been. It was still pretty bad.

• 46:18Speaker 04

  Was overreacting. Once I, once I'd had the heartbeat, I was like, oh, I'm fine. Had all the monitoring. Everything was all good. I had a night in short stay. And then was discharged home the next morning with plans to get follow up and things with my obstetrician. Um, I did get a scan the next morning, again, an ultrasound that looked good. Um, but then before my next appointment, I went into labour.

• 46:41Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 46:42Speaker 04

  Yeah. So I, um, yeah, woke up in the morning, my waters had broken and started contracting.

• 46:48Speaker 00

  Do they think it was linked?

• 46:50Speaker 04

  Yeah. So when my placenta came out, a portion of it had died off. So I probably actually did have a placental abruption. Like a concealed partial abruption.

• 46:58Speaker 00

  So you gave birth at how many weeks?

• 47:00Speaker 04

  She was, she was actually thirty five weeks when I had her. And probably what happened was a portion of the placenta had died off. And then as she continued to grow, it just couldn't sustain her anymore. And then the safest thing was just to get her out.

• 47:16Speaker 00

  What did that mean for your birth?

• 47:18Speaker 04

  I mean, in some ways it probably made it a better birth, cause she was a bit smaller and less risk of trauma and things. So, uh, it did mean that I couldn't do any of the labour at home and it meant that I had to have monitoring on the whole time. And it was funny, my husband during the labour. I mean, he's a very kind of practical person. He's, uh, like, he's not kind of the kind of coach, you're doing amazing, blah, blah, blah. And at one point I said, Rue, during a contraction, can you get off carsales.com? Cause he's thinking, he was like, I need to get a car for when we take the baby home. Cause our car was written off.

• 47:49Speaker 00

  Oh my God. I was like, why is he on car sales? You just had the car accident.

• 47:54Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. So we didn't have a car. We didn't have a car seat.

• 47:56Speaker 00

  Oh my God, so he's like, fuck. Your car seat was in the written off car. He's like, how the fuck do we get home from this place?

• 48:02Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 48:02Speaker 00

  Cause of course you guys would have thought, well, we've got six more weeks or five more weeks, whatever, to get the car sorted. No, no, no. The car accident caused you to go into labour.

• 48:10Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 48:10Speaker 00

  So we did actually end up catching a D D. I don't know what the driver thought. I was just kind of sitting on a towel and like. Oh my God, of course.

• 48:17Speaker 04

  Yeah. Yeah. So I didn't leak too much. I had like maternity pads on and everything. Um, but then, and my contractions were starting to ramp up, but I was like, I was so really quiet. I don't know if he would have cottoned on when we pulled up at the obstetric, you know, entrance. After that, everything went pretty smoothly. Like I had a vaginal delivery, no big tears or anything like that. She did have to go to the nursery after, um, but we were in hospital for about five days and then she came home with us. So she wasn't even thirty six weeks when she came home. So we were lucky. She didn't need long in the nursery.

• 48:54Speaker 00

  Yeah. How many months ago was this? Where are we today?

• 48:57Speaker 04

  Uh, she's seven months today.

• 48:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 48:59Speaker 04

  Seven months today?

• 49:00Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah. Wow. What I find really valuable from your perspective is having someone who is still in that first year postpartum on this show. It's such a unique experience to the point that we've made so many times today in all of these interviews. You cannot conceptualise having a child and being postpartum until you are living it.

• 49:22Speaker 04

  Mm hmm.

• 49:23Speaker 00

  And, uh, I'm really keen to hear your perspective on this chapter of your life and what you've been going through these last seven months. Because it is so uniquely special to other women who are listening in the same, in that same chapter.

• 49:37Speaker 04

  I feel like this is such a great opportunity for me as a mum as well, because, I mean, I have got Rafa and Georgia. I'm constantly, and Dim as well, like constantly asking them questions.

• 49:49Speaker 00

  Dim out on air producer. Yes. She also has seventeen month old, is it Dim?

• 49:53Speaker 04

  Seventeen month old.

• 49:54Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 49:54Speaker 04

  Indy. I'm like listening to parenting podcasts that I would, and like parenting books and audiobooks and things that I wouldn't have listened to otherwise. So I'm like, I feel like this is making me a better mum. I'm like, I know what my parenting style, what I want it to be now. And.

• 50:07Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 50:08Speaker 04

  Well, you're so welcome. Yeah, exactly. So I'm like, Goldie should be grateful.

• 50:14Speaker 00

  Okay, guys, that's episode zero. You now know your host, the woman you'll be hearing from every single week on The Room. I could not be more impressed by these three women. We are so lucky to have such different perspectives and different life experience to be able to lean on when it comes to telling stories here on The Room. I mean, we've got infertility and then a very, very close age gap over in Rafa's story. We've got multiples in a triplet mum with Georgia's story. And then with Freya, we have a story where pregnancy does not go the way you planned. And her car accident and bringing about a preemie baby into the world is just something we know so many other women will listen to and go,

• 50:55Speaker 00

  well, it didn't pan out for me the way I thought either. So I love it. I think it's such a strength of this show that we have such different lived experiences to tell you about. Equally, I know, and everyone involved in the production of this show knows, we can't speak to every woman's lived experience. For example, we don't have a solo parent on the microphone. There are a bunch of other lived experiences on top of that that we don't have either. We're never going to be able to capture everything in three women. I think we've captured a lot though, and I hope the census fills in those gaps for you too. So twenty thousand women coming to us and telling us about their lives will hopefully mean you in some way feel your story is captured and reflected back to you.

• 51:37Speaker 00

  Episode one launches tomorrow, the sixth of October. You will be getting new episodes twice a week, every week. So Tuesdays and Thursdays are your days to listen to The Room. Thank you for participating in our census. Thank you for listening to this introduction episode. Make sure you follow us if you are interested in what we're doing over here. Make sure you get onto Instagram and type in The Room Podcast. We are going to be filling that Instagram page with so much content that I think you are going to absolutely love. That is all from me. Time for me to shut the hell up and get out of the way because these three women are about to become your absolute podcast best friends. You'll hear from them tomorrow.

• 52:26Speaker 05

  Shameless Media. This podcast was recorded on Wurundjeri land, always was, always will be Aboriginal land.

• 52:35Speaker 02

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