The Chili Oil Special

Can Romesh win the Chili Oil Mastermind quiz? We're back with another Thursday episode of The Romesh Ranganathan Show and Shanthi puts Romesh's chilli knowledge to the test in a fiery Mastermind-style quiz, before they share their thoughts on some tantalizing listener dilemmas from inappropriate chat-up lines to spicing up relationships. Elsewhere, the pair discuss Shanthi's story and Romesh opens up about why he's protective of his family and the past. From chili oil to the secret of a successful, long-lasting marriage, it's another classic Thursday episode with Shanthi and Rom. A Ranga Bee Production in partnership with Platform Media. Chapters 00:00 Intro 04:51 On Kelly Cates 06:17 Chili Oil Mastermind 21:38 Inappropriate chat-up lines 27:42 The truth about Shanthi’s story 33:20 Marriage advice 38:17 Outro Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Hello everybody and welcome to the Thursday edition of the Romesh Ranganathan show. I'm joined by Queen Shanti, everyone's favourite, and the animals who are full of mutton rolls from Mum once again. How many mutton rolls did you bring today?

• 0:13Speaker 01

  Thirty.

• 0:14Speaker 00

  Thirty. Thirty.

• 0:16Speaker 02

  I've had five.

• 0:17Speaker 00

  Have you honestly had five? Have you had five?

• 0:19Speaker 01

  I had two.

• 0:20Speaker 02

  I didn't eat much yesterday, so I...

• 0:22Speaker 01

  I had two.

• 0:23Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's what a normal person would have by this time of the day. Will? I've had two. Two. John? I've had four. Four? Georgie?

• 0:33Speaker 02

  Two.

• 0:34Speaker 00

  Two. So you've had the most.

• 0:36Speaker 02

  I think I might have only had three.

• 0:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's all for them. They can eat as many as they like.

• 0:39Speaker 00

  It's all for them. So how many do you reckon you top out at for the day?

• 0:42Speaker 02

  I'm close. I'm sweating a little bit from the meat sweats.

• 0:45Speaker 00

  Do you feel uncomfortable, a little bit uncomfortable? Five's a lot, isn't it?

• 0:48Speaker 02

  It's too many.

• 0:49Speaker 00

  I'm not food shaming you, by the way, but I'm actually, I almost respect it. But, um, five.

• 0:56Speaker 02

  Okay, let's move on from that, though.

• 0:59Speaker 00

  Five. They're big as well, aren't they?

• 1:01Speaker 02

  They are big, yeah. There's too many, yeah, it's definitely too many muttons.

• 1:04Speaker 00

  Would you have another two, do you reckon, before?

• 1:06Speaker 01

  You can, you can.

• 1:07Speaker 00

  Like, we've got the evening ahead of us.

• 1:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:10Speaker 00

  You do find them delightful, don't you?

• 1:11Speaker 02

  They're my favourite thing.

• 1:12Speaker 00

  Yeah, so...

• 1:13Speaker 01

  My favourite thing is aubergine curry.

• 1:16Speaker 00

  Favourite thing is aubergine curry, then your mutton curry.

• 1:18Speaker 01

  Curry, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:19Speaker 00

  Because it's a possibility that you'll start to feel hungry again before the end of the day, right?

• 1:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:24Speaker 00

  And would you, could you see yourself turning to mutton rolls again?

• 1:26Speaker 01

  No. No, don't, don't do that.

• 1:30Speaker 00

  No? Why?

• 1:32Speaker 01

  You spoil the dinner, isn't it?

• 1:33Speaker 00

  But you could have them for dinner.

• 1:34Speaker 01

  No, put them in the freezer, you can have it later.

• 1:38Speaker 00

  Okay, put them in the freezer.

• 1:39Speaker 01

  Because you, yeah.

• 1:40Speaker 00

  How many, how many would you take home?

• 1:42Speaker 02

  I'd probably let everyone else take what they need, but I'd probably take four or five.

• 1:47Speaker 00

  Four or five, yeah. So that's another morning.

• 1:49Speaker 01

  Why do you want to know all this?

• 1:51Speaker 00

  I'm just interested. Um, okay. Now, it's a random Thursday in the middle of the summer, so the team thought you deserved another special. They really like the specials. I'm gonna say this, that this team love the specials. They get worried about giving it a bit of oomph, and so they've decided to do a special. And I don't know if you've guessed, should we put these on, Mum?

• 2:16Speaker 02

  It's up to you. You don't have to. You can keep them there if you prefer.

• 2:21Speaker 01

  Be careful.

• 2:22Speaker 00

  Apparently, there's lots of emails and messages about this subject, so without further ado, welcome to the chili oil special. Chili oil. Chili oil. Chili oil. Chili oil. What do we like? Chili oil. What do you want more of? Chili oil. What do we love? Chili oil. Chili oil.

• 2:57Speaker 01

  With me, Shanti.

• 3:00Speaker 00

  On Monday, we had sports broadcaster Kelly... Look at this, guys.

• 3:05Speaker 01

  What is it? How do you pronounce that name?

• 3:08Speaker 00

  Laganma.

• 3:09Speaker 01

  Laganma. Laganma.

• 3:12Speaker 02

  Can you move the chip? We'd love to see more of that chili on your head. Is it possible?

• 3:16Speaker 00

  This is like, this is like every fucking photo shit I've ever done. Uh, Romesh, we really, we really love what you do. Great, great shots, really great shots. Just wondering if like you could do like a, like an energy, like, so give it a bit of, how's that?

• 3:31Speaker 02

  That looks great.

• 3:32Speaker 00

  Oh, how about this?

• 3:33Speaker 02

  Or swap sides. That's quite nice.

• 3:35Speaker 00

  That's quite cool.

• 3:36Speaker 02

  Will it stay? Quite aggressive, actually.

• 3:38Speaker 00

  It'll stay, yeah.

• 3:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's wicked.

• 3:40Speaker 00

  Okay, on Monday, we had sports broadcaster Kelly Cates. What are you laughing at, Mum? You've encouraged me to do this. Can I see the shot, please? Oh my God, look, it's such a helmet.

• 3:50Speaker 01

  Look at him! No, Romesh.

• 3:53Speaker 00

  What, what's wrong? You can see it's a chili, though.

• 3:55Speaker 01

  It looked nice on the top.

• 3:56Speaker 02

  I don't know why they're laughing, I think it looks cool.

• 4:01Speaker 01

  I think they're imagining something.

• 4:03Speaker 00

  What, imagining what? Describe it to me.

• 4:05Speaker 01

  No.

• 4:10Speaker 00

  Will, am I gonna regret this?

• 4:11Speaker 02

  I don't see why you would.

• 4:13Speaker 00

  No?

• 4:14Speaker 02

  No, definitely not.

• 4:15Speaker 00

  No, you won't, you won't, you won't. No. On Monday, we had sport... This is, this is what, um, do you know when like, uh, Cat Williams went on the Kevin Hart roast and he talked about humiliation rituals? I think I might be in the middle of one right now, where the team have asked me to wear a fucking chili headband. I put it on my forehead and I'm doing the podcast, so this is the beginning of the end for me.

• 4:38Speaker 02

  This is your show, you can do what you want, so if you wanna take your t-shirt off or...

• 4:44Speaker 00

  Do you want me to take the t-shirt off and keep the headband on?

• 4:47Speaker 01

  My God, no, thank you, Romesh. Don't take the t-shirt off.

• 5:40Speaker 00

  On Monday, we had sports broadcaster Kelly Cates. We had a really good laugh. She's good friends with Jamie Redknapp, Mum.

• 5:46Speaker 01

  Is she? I'm a bit jealous.

• 5:48Speaker 00

  Well, you're friends with Jamie Redknapp as well.

• 5:51Speaker 01

  But I don't talk to him.

• 5:53Speaker 00

  Um, he once slept in her bed.

• 5:55Speaker 01

  Slept in her bed?

• 5:57Speaker 00

  Yeah. Would you like to see a clip? There we go.

• 6:02Speaker 01

  Happy? Happy?

• 6:04Speaker 00

  Really happy, yeah.

• 6:05Speaker 02

  It looks scratchy, it looks really cool. So do you, Mum?

• 6:07Speaker 01

  Two dickheads leave it sitting here. One is red and the one is green.

• 6:14Speaker 02

  Do you want me to play a clip?

• 6:15Speaker 00

  Please, yeah, I'm gonna have teed it up. Jamie Redknapp stayed at your house. He did, yeah. He told me that your dad, when he wanted to sign up for Liverpool, said, "Come and stay with us." He said, "You can stay in Kelly's bed." Nope, that's wrong. He tells the story all the time. He said, this is what he told me, this is, I'm quoting Jamie, I'm quoting Jamie. No, I know, he tells the story and I've put him right in it so many times and he still tells it. He said that he was staying in your bed and that you had a rubber sheet on your bed. Yes, at 14, yeah. He said you were 16. He was 17, you were 16, you were in the year below. Oh my God, he's such a liar. Also, he's made me older than I am. He is much older than I am. Uh, what did you think of that story, Mum? Jamie slept in Kelly's bed?

• 6:57Speaker 01

  He didn't sleep in her bed.

• 6:59Speaker 00

  He did.

• 7:00Speaker 01

  That's dad created the story.

• 7:01Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 7:02Speaker 01

  She's keep on telling, he's a liar. There you go.

• 7:05Speaker 00

  Okay. Now, we are doing a chili oil special, and it wouldn't be a chili oil special without some chili trivia.

• 7:16Speaker 00

  Chili oil. Chili oil. Chili oil. Chili oil. Chili oil. This is a humiliation ritual, it is. It bears all the hallmarks.

• 7:29Speaker 01

  Move your bloody thing on your head.

• 7:30Speaker 00

  What do you mean? This is how...

• 7:32Speaker 01

  It will balance out, otherwise...

• 7:34Speaker 02

  It looks good.

• 7:35Speaker 00

  Now, as I've revealed previously, I almost died while eating chili oil, so the team has decided to test how well I know one of the most important things in my life. This is the chili oil mastermind.

• 7:48Speaker 00

  Is that how it's gonna be in the episode?

• 7:49Speaker 02

  Yeah. If we had a lighting guy, we could like, make it more intense, but...

• 7:53Speaker 00

  Okay, uh, Mum?

• 7:55Speaker 01

  Yes?

• 7:56Speaker 00

  You are gonna host this quiz.

• 7:58Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 7:59Speaker 00

  Um, can you read from the cards, please?

• 8:00Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 8:01Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 8:02Speaker 02

  Shanti, have you seen Mastermind? You know, like, like, serious quiz show, like...

• 8:06Speaker 00

  By the way, can I just say?

• 8:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:09Speaker 00

  Well done for not briefing her about this beforehand. This is smart, this should make this go super quick. Okay, let's, let's see how this goes. So I'm asking on camera, "Have you seen Mastermind?", a show that you're going to host a version of now.

• 8:26Speaker 01

  Which one is the first one, is it?

• 8:29Speaker 02

  It's the one that's first.

• 8:32Speaker 01

  Shanti, okay.

• 8:34Speaker 02

  So you start by looking down the barrel of that camera, and you just do that, that's an, you've got a little intro to this game.

• 8:40Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 8:41Speaker 02

  Three, two, one.

• 8:45Speaker 01

  Hello, welcome to my new quiz, chili oil mastermind, with me, Shanti Ranganathan.

• 8:52Speaker 00

  It's actually, this is good.

• 8:53Speaker 01

  Romesh is in the final and everything is on the line. Can he get five out of five to win a bottle of his favourite chili sauce and finally make his mother proud?

• 9:12Speaker 02

  Sounds, okay, is it, what's gonna happen?

• 9:15Speaker 00

  Is this the final?

• 9:16Speaker 02

  You're in the final, congratulations.

• 9:18Speaker 00

  So are we assuming that some stuff happened off camera?

• 9:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, you've beaten everyone else.

• 9:22Speaker 00

  Okay. Yeah, you smashed the general audience round. And are there five questions now?

• 9:26Speaker 02

  Yes, correct.

• 9:29Speaker 00

  Mum, would you like to ask me the, I'm not the highest.

• 9:31Speaker 01

  Okay. How much was the global chili oil market worth in 2025 in dollars?

• 9:42Speaker 01

  Eight million, four hundred, 3.8 billion?

• 9:49Speaker 00

  Sorry, could I hear the options again, please?

• 9:54Speaker 01

  Eight, okay, you want the question?

• 9:56Speaker 00

  Yes, please.

• 9:57Speaker 01

  You want the question as well?

• 9:59Speaker 00

  Uh, no, I don't have to have the questions.

• 10:00Speaker 01

  Okay, okay. Please say it in dollars, okay?

• 10:05Speaker 00

  Okay, I'd love, if you could give me the options in dollars, I'd appreciate it.

• 10:13Speaker 01

  Four hundred billion?

• 10:14Speaker 00

  Right.

• 10:15Speaker 01

  Oh, 3.8 billion.

• 10:24Speaker 00

  I am going to go. I think chili oil's big.

• 10:30Speaker 01

  Oh yeah?

• 10:33Speaker 01

  Don't look at me.

• 10:34Speaker 00

  Don't look at you?

• 10:35Speaker 01

  Answer the question.

• 10:36Speaker 00

  Okay, I think chili oil's big. Um, I'm gonna go 3.8 billion, Mum. Dollars.

• 10:44Speaker 01

  That's the right answer, mate.

• 10:48Speaker 00

  Next question, please.

• 10:49Speaker 01

  Question two.

• 10:49Speaker 00

  Sorry, I shouldn't be driving this. This is under your control. Sorry, Mum. That was very rude of me.

• 10:55Speaker 00

  Really, really happy that I got the.

• 10:56Speaker 01

  Mr. Romesh Ranganathan, listen to my questions, okay?

• 11:01Speaker 01

  I'm going to give you four chili types.

• 11:07Speaker 01

  Three are real, one is fake.

• 11:09Speaker 00

  Oh my god.

• 11:10Speaker 01

  Which one is fake?

• 11:13Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 11:14Speaker 01

  Choc- chocolate habanero.

• 11:18Speaker 00

  That's real.

• 11:20Speaker 01

  Bishop's crown.

• 11:21Speaker 00

  That's real.

• 11:23Speaker 01

  Blighty burner or Trinidad scorpion?

• 11:34Speaker 00

  They all sound real, don't they? But one of them isn't. Could I have the answers again, please?

• 11:40Speaker 01

  Chocolate habanero and bishop's crown.

• 11:44Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 11:45Speaker 01

  Blighty burner.

• 11:46Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 11:47Speaker 01

  Trinidad scorpion.

• 11:50Speaker 00

  What was the first one?

• 11:51Speaker 01

  Oh bloody hell. It's you. Chocolate habanero.

• 11:56Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 12:01Speaker 00

  I think chocolate habanero is real. I know that for a fact. Bishop's crown, is that what the second one's called? That sounds quite real. Trinidad scorpion. I think blighty burner sounds the most unlikely. So I'm gonna say blighty burner's a fake one.

• 12:19Speaker 01

  You are right.

• 12:21Speaker 02

  Two out of two.

• 12:22Speaker 01

  Okay. I noticed that you made me read the answers three times.

• 12:30Speaker 00

  Is that on the script?

• 12:31Speaker 01

  Because the way I pronounced it, you found it funny, isn't it?

• 12:35Speaker 00

  No, I just, I wasn't sure what the first.

• 12:37Speaker 01

  Because I know you very well. Anyway, forget that.

• 12:45Speaker 00

  Why are you talking like you're reading that? It's like, it's amazing. Anyway, go on. You're a really good quiz show host.

• 12:50Speaker 01

  Oh, thank you, Larry. Yeah.

• 12:52Speaker 00

  What's the next one?

• 12:53Speaker 01

  Question three.

• 12:54Speaker 00

  Do I have to get all five correct?

• 12:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:56Speaker 00

  Why are these so hard then, if we've got to get all five?

• 12:58Speaker 02

  You've got two out of two.

• 13:00Speaker 00

  Okay, go on.

• 13:02Speaker 01

  Question three, are you ready?

• 13:04Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 13:05Speaker 01

  Two of course. Capsicin is a chemical that makes chili spicy.

• 13:12Speaker 00

  What's the word again, please?

• 13:15Speaker 01

  Capsicin.

• 13:16Speaker 03

  I think it's capsaicin.

• 13:17Speaker 01

  Capsy.

• 13:18Speaker 02

  Caps.

• 13:19Speaker 01

  Capsy.

• 13:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 13:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:21Speaker 00

  One more time?

• 13:26Speaker 01

  Don't fuck me around.

• 13:32Speaker 01

  Onto the bloody question.

• 13:34Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 13:35Speaker 01

  Okay. Be it.

• 13:36Speaker 00

  I think true.

• 13:38Speaker 01

  You are right.

• 13:40Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 13:43Speaker 01

  Ready for question four?

• 13:44Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 13:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:48Speaker 01

  What is the burning response you feel from eating chili?

• 13:54Speaker 00

  Is this multiple choice? No. What is the burning response you feel from eating chili?

• 14:01Speaker 00

  What is the burning response you feel from eating chili?

• 14:05Speaker 00

  That's the whole question?

• 14:07Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 14:08Speaker 00

  What the fuck is this question? What is the burning response you feel from eating chili?

• 14:14Speaker 02

  Shanti, you could freestyle a multiple choice if you want to, like.

• 14:17Speaker 00

  Oh my god.

• 14:18Speaker 01

  Pain response, it is not a taste response.

• 14:26Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 14:27Speaker 03

  Either or.

• 14:28Speaker 01

  Either one.

• 14:30Speaker 00

  What?

• 14:32Speaker 01

  We can put it here or here.

• 14:35Speaker 00

  What?

• 14:36Speaker 02

  You could say, you could go, A, pain response, B, taste response.

• 14:41Speaker 01

  Okay. A, pain response, B, taste response.

• 14:51Speaker 01

  What is pain response?

• 14:53Speaker 00

  I'm gonna go.

• 14:54Speaker 01

  Up your ass.

• 15:00Speaker 01

  Come on.

• 15:01Speaker 00

  I'm gonna go, I think I might go pain response.

• 15:06Speaker 02

  Sorry, wait, wait, hold on. Sorry, Shanti, is that correct?

• 15:09Speaker 01

  The answer.

• 15:11Speaker 01

  Pain response.

• 15:12Speaker 00

  Okay, good. Good, okay. How did I get that?

• 15:17Speaker 01

  You must have read it.

• 15:19Speaker 02

  There's one more, Shanti.

• 15:20Speaker 01

  One more, Shanti.

• 15:20Speaker 02

  Well, it's on to our final question. Don't look at the answer, Mum.

• 15:23Speaker 01

  Oh. Were you looking?

• 15:25Speaker 00

  No, were you looking?

• 15:29Speaker 01

  Question three. One more, where?

• 15:31Speaker 00

  Oh, fucking hell.

• 15:33Speaker 01

  Okay, okay, I.

• 15:34Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 15:35Speaker 02

  It says on to our.

• 15:35Speaker 00

  Onto our final question.

• 15:38Speaker 01

  Are you ready then?

• 15:39Speaker 00

  I'm reading it from here.

• 15:42Speaker 01

  Onto our final question, where everything is at stake. Question? Oh my god.

• 15:51Speaker 01

  Where everything is at stake.

• 15:53Speaker 00

  Yeah, okay.

• 15:54Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 15:55Speaker 00

  Where is everything?

• 15:59Speaker 01

  Five.

• 16:02Speaker 00

  What's the stake here? Can we just be clear? What's, show me. What's the stake here?

• 16:10Speaker 02

  It's meant to be really tense, like we're not taking this seriously.

• 16:13Speaker 01

  Five, your favorite chili oil is La O. La Oganma.

• 16:21Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 16:22Speaker 01

  But does it have a rude meaning in another language?

• 16:28Speaker 00

  Is this a yes or no question?

• 16:30Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 16:31Speaker 00

  Does La Oganma have a rude meaning in another language?

• 16:37Speaker 00

  Um. The honest truth is I don't know, but it feels a weird question to ask if it doesn't. So I'm going to say, yes, it does have a rude meaning in another language.

• 16:50Speaker 01

  Romesh, you are a winner.

• 16:57Speaker 01

  Oh, my goodness.

• 16:59Speaker 02

  You can read to according.

• 17:01Speaker 00

  A bit of, Mum, but it's like. It's, Mum, this is the final.

• 17:05Speaker 01

  Right, I'm ready.

• 17:06Speaker 00

  Mum, can you try it again with a bit of like excitement? Sorry.

• 17:09Speaker 01

  Okay, okay.

• 17:10Speaker 00

  Ben, your face is so funny. Mum said that, you want others?

• 17:17Speaker 02

  Just wasn't quite how we envisioned it.

• 17:18Speaker 01

  Okay, okay. I should prep myself.

• 17:22Speaker 00

  Or you should have been, or you should have been briefed before the record. Who knows? But, you know, we couldn't have guessed this would have gone wrong.

• 17:31Speaker 01

  Diket, yeah, okay.

• 17:32Speaker 00

  Look, give me the, give me that.

• 17:35Speaker 01

  Onto our final question.

• 17:37Speaker 00

  Oh, okay.

• 17:39Speaker 01

  Okay?

• 17:39Speaker 00

  Yeah, okay.

• 17:40Speaker 01

  Where everything is at stake.

• 17:42Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 17:43Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 17:47Speaker 01

  Your favorite chili oil is La Oganma?

• 17:50Speaker 00

  Yeah, okay.

• 17:52Speaker 01

  Does it have a rude meaning in other language? Right, leave on there.

• 17:58Speaker 00

  Um.

• 18:00Speaker 02

  What's going on?

• 18:00Speaker 00

  I'm going to say.

• 18:04Speaker 00

  It's a tough one. Obviously, this is.

• 18:06Speaker 02

  It's good.

• 18:06Speaker 00

  Everything to play for here. It all hinges on this.

• 18:13Speaker 00

  I'm gonna say, yes, it does have a rude meaning in another language.

• 18:18Speaker 01

  What do I say? No, it's not. It's a wrong.

• 18:39Speaker 00

  So hold on, what's the answer? Does it have a rude meaning?

• 18:42Speaker 02

  Can you read it? If you read, see what says answer, if you go according.

• 18:47Speaker 01

  According to our listeners, it does have rude meaning.

• 18:51Speaker 00

  So why did you say, no, it doesn't? Oh.

• 18:55Speaker 01

  We have put it into Google Translate.

• 18:58Speaker 02

  Have you got that little extra bit?

• 19:00Speaker 00

  Be honest, how do you think this is going?

• 19:01Speaker 02

  It's not the finale that I, yeah, but it's good.

• 19:04Speaker 01

  Expected.

• 19:06Speaker 03

  A bit below that also says according.

• 19:08Speaker 00

  Keep all of this in, please.

• 19:10Speaker 02

  Okay, ready, Shanti? And go for it.

• 19:13Speaker 01

  Ask the question?

• 19:14Speaker 02

  No, no, definitely not.

• 19:15Speaker 00

  No, Mum, ask the question. Ask the question one more time. No, I think we need it.

• 19:19Speaker 02

  We have really covered the question.

• 19:21Speaker 00

  Because then she can flow straight into it. Mum, go for it.

• 19:22Speaker 02

  Let's just go from according to some of our listeners. It's reading.

• 19:26Speaker 00

  Onto our final question.

• 19:27Speaker 02

  No, don't, don't stop it.

• 19:29Speaker 01

  Shut up.

• 19:31Speaker 00

  Where everything is at stake.

• 19:36Speaker 00

  Your favourite chilli oil.

• 19:37Speaker 01

  Shut up, Romesh.

• 19:38Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 19:41Speaker 01

  According to some of our listeners, it's ruled in Gujarati. They have said it means, and the team have turned this down from what our

• 19:53Speaker 00

  No.

• 19:53Speaker 01

  Listener wrote in, it means, may I interest you in some

• 19:59Speaker 00

  Rear entry intimacy.

• 20:03Speaker 01

  Uh, it's up in the asshole, isn't it?

• 20:07Speaker 00

  Thank you for providing me.

• 20:10Speaker 01

  So according to our listeners, it does have a rule meaning. However, we have put in the Google Translate and it doesn't agree. The answer is no.

• 20:20Speaker 02

  Oh, no.

• 20:22Speaker 00

  I don't think, can I just say something? I don't think you're right. I think it does mean that.

• 20:27Speaker 02

  Oh, no. Okay. Well, Shanti, maybe congratulate him and better luck next time.

• 20:33Speaker 00

  Why?

• 20:34Speaker 02

  Congrats. Congratulations, Romesh.

• 20:35Speaker 01

  Congratulation, darling.

• 20:38Speaker 00

  For what?

• 20:38Speaker 02

  Better luck next time.

• 20:40Speaker 01

  Better luck next.

• 20:40Speaker 00

  I don't, mum, I can tell you.

• 20:41Speaker 02

  Woo, that was chilli oil mastermind. Well done.

• 20:45Speaker 01

  You talk about chilli oil, chilli oil, you don't know nothing.

• 20:51Speaker 00

  Well, I got four of the five questions.

• 20:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:53Speaker 00

  I got, first of all, I, I, I'm pretty sure I've got five of the questions right out of five.

• 20:57Speaker 01

  You won't, why don't you check it out?

• 21:00Speaker 00

  It's a Gujarati phrase and these honks have put it into Google Translate and have decided that it's not true.

• 21:07Speaker 01

  What, how do they say it in Gujarati then? I like to know.

• 21:10Speaker 00

  I don't know. I don't know what they're trying to say.

• 21:14Speaker 02

  It's a controversial ending, this one, isn't it?

• 21:15Speaker 00

  Ghanma means my arse. So the big question is, what does lau mean?

• 21:23Speaker 02

  Lau seems to be doing a lot of the lifting.

• 21:24Speaker 00

  Yeah, it does. It's all hinges on lau.

• 21:28Speaker 01

  Oil.

• 21:29Speaker 02

  Um, you got a nice little sign off actually, Shanti, at the bottom there. Romesh, you are.

• 21:35Speaker 01

  Romesh, you are a winner, loser.

• 21:38Speaker 00

  Good.

• 21:39Speaker 02

  You choose.

• 21:39Speaker 00

  Yeah, well done. Well, by the way, can I once again congratulate you for not briefing mum on this before we did this?

• 21:45Speaker 02

  That's fine. Thank you.

• 21:47Speaker 01

  Thank you. Okay.

• 21:49Speaker 00

  So I'm a winner loser.

• 21:51Speaker 01

  All right, right, right.

• 21:52Speaker 00

  Oh, it continues.

• 21:54Speaker 01

  Well, how do I say this? Romesh, you are a winner loser. Thank you for.

• 21:57Speaker 00

  Yay.

• 21:58Speaker 01

  Romesh, you are a winner loser. Thank you for playing chilli oil mastermind.

• 22:04Speaker 01

  I have been Shanti Ranganathan. You stay spicy. Good night.

• 22:11Speaker 02

  Woo, well done.

• 22:13Speaker 00

  Really good, mum. Really good hosting.

• 22:16Speaker 02

  Well done, Shanti.

• 22:17Speaker 00

  Yeah, it was really good. Okay, it's time for some audience into, by the way, mum, genuinely.

• 22:22Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 22:22Speaker 00

  Congratulations. That was good.

• 22:24Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 22:24Speaker 00

  Really good. I think that went well.

• 22:26Speaker 02

  I was happy with that.

• 22:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's good. As always, we're answering your questions today, which this week are also spicy because it's the chilli oil special.

• 22:35Speaker 00

  Remember you can send us a WhatsApp message or voice note to 07731623355 or email [email protected]. And don't forget, if you haven't already, pli- please, please, mum, can you say please down there?

• 22:49Speaker 01

  Please.

• 22:49Speaker 00

  Like and subscribe.

• 22:51Speaker 01

  Like and subscribe.

• 22:53Speaker 00

  Wherever you get your spicy podcasts.

• 22:55Speaker 01

  Where, wherever you get your spicy podcasts.

• 22:59Speaker 00

  Please.

• 23:00Speaker 01

  Please.

• 23:00Speaker 00

  Like.

• 23:01Speaker 01

  Like.

• 23:01Speaker 00

  And subscribe.

• 23:02Speaker 01

  And subscribe.

• 23:03Speaker 00

  Okay, we've got an email from anonymous.

• 23:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:06Speaker 00

  Okay, this email doesn't directly reference chilli oil apparently, but the content is very spicy. So this is an explicit warning. Okay, this could get dirty now.

• 23:17Speaker 04

  So good, so good, so good. Stay cosy and look cool with up to 60% off cold weather gear at Nordstrom Rack. Save on cashmere, outerwear, boots and more from brands like Ugg, Vince, Kohan and Hunter. Join the Nordy Club for free to unlock exclusive discounts, shop clearance and new arrivals first and more. Plus buy online and pick up at your favourite Rack store for free. Great brands, great prices. That's why you Rack.

• 23:47Speaker 05

  Fall never arrives all at once. First the air, then the light. And slowly the things you love begin to find each other. A jacket meets a dress, a hoodie slips beneath a blazer, an old cap finds a new scarf. Because you don't simply step into the season, you create it layer by layer until it finally feels like fall. Find fall your way at Ross.

• 24:15Speaker 00

  All right. Dear Romesh Shanti and team, I hope you're all doing well. I love the show and the guests are fantastic. That's the first email I've had saying that. I've got a short story and a question for you. I play in a covers band and last summer I went to All Points East Festival with two of my bandmates. We thoroughly enjoyed our day and were just getting ready to see the headliners, the Maccabees. As we jostled for position amongst the gathering crowd, we heard a couple of gasps and some whispered voices nearby. An attractive woman in her 30s approached us. I'm going to try and do this in the, excuse me, she said in her sultry, South Afri- oh, sorry, South African tones. Excuse me, is your friend single?

• 24:56Speaker 00

  She was pointing at the singer. We're three middle aged dads, so if I'm being totally impartial, all a solid 6.5. Nothing that special. I've got to be honest, the other two of us had to work pretty hard not to take it personally that she'd singled out the tall handsome singer instead of the two hideous trolls. She brushed past us and walked straight up to the singer. Now imagine this in the accent, maybe read it out in your best South African. Oh my God, are you single? As soon as I saw you, I became instantly wet. Then just for emphasis, so wet. Whilst staring him straight in the eye, there wasn't even the slightest hint that this is a wind up. We all agree that she was completely serious. After making the expected jokes about when the next appointment at Specsabers was, we turned around and enjoyed a fantastic gig.

• 25:40Speaker 00

  The singer brushed it off as it happened, as if it happens all the time. His wife, who was standing directly behind him during the whole exchange, was oddly quiet. So, sorry, is that the end of the fucking story?

• 25:55Speaker 00

  So here's the question, are you joking?

• 26:00Speaker 00

  So mate, you cannot, that can't be the end of the story. How can that be the end of the story?

• 26:07Speaker 01

  I'm very impressed the way you are reading.

• 26:09Speaker 00

  How do you mean? After you did that quiz, you're now pressing my reading?

• 26:13Speaker 01

  You are stuck as well in between the lines.

• 26:15Speaker 00

  I'm trying to do the South African accent.

• 26:17Speaker 01

  It doesn't work.

• 26:20Speaker 00

  What do you mean it doesn't work?

• 26:20Speaker 01

  Try again.

• 26:21Speaker 00

  Okay, scroll up please.

• 26:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:23Speaker 00

  I don't think I did anything wrong. I don't get me wrong. I don't think my South African accent's got. Straight to his face, oh my God, are you single? As soon as I saw you, I became instantly wet. Then just for emphasis, so wet. Whilst staring him straight in the eye, there wasn't even the slightest hint that this was a wind up. We all agree that she was completely serious. What's wrong with that?

• 26:45Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 26:46Speaker 00

  So here's the question, what is the most memorable or inappropriate chat up line you or the team has ever given or received? This one was off the charts and I'd be interested to hear a reaction. I'd love to know what, is that the end of it? Was that the end of that? And what did the wife say?

• 26:58Speaker 06

  Well, she was oddly quiet.

• 27:00Speaker 00

  Yeah, but that can't be, she must have had something to say at some point. Like the, I'd love you, could you get back in touch, please? [email protected] and let us know. Uh, presumably you and Shanti have had your fair share of approaches, not really. Any stories to share? Thank you. Mum?

• 27:16Speaker 01

  No.

• 27:17Speaker 00

  You've never been approached?

• 27:19Speaker 01

  Approached for what?

• 27:21Speaker 00

  Like that.

• 27:22Speaker 01

  Like that?

• 27:22Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 27:23Speaker 01

  No, I haven't.

• 27:23Speaker 00

  Nobody's ever chatted you up, ever?

• 27:26Speaker 01

  I mean, people have, but in my brain,

• 27:31Speaker 01

  it didn't affect me. I thought they were being friendly.

• 27:33Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 27:34Speaker 01

  So I never gone into any other thoughts or anything like that. Yeah, if somebody talks to me, I think they are being friendly, that's all.

• 27:42Speaker 00

  Have I, uh, I haven't really had inappropriate, I mean, occasionally very, people seem to think that you get loads of messages being like on TV or whatever. I don't like that.

• 27:53Speaker 00

  But I did have, I told you the vibrator story.

• 27:55Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 27:55Speaker 00

  Yeah, that was the worst one probably, where the girl had two vibrators. She showed me a photo of two vibrators.

• 28:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:01Speaker 00

  And one said Rob and one said Romesh. That's probably the worst.

• 28:04Speaker 01

  So she slept with both of them?

• 28:08Speaker 00

  Don't know. I didn't ask follow up questions. Pardon? She didn't tell me, no. Uh, Lisa's, I mean, actually that, when I was reading that South African one, that's very similar to what Lisa did when we first met.

• 28:19Speaker 01

  What did she do?

• 28:20Speaker 00

  Oh my God.

• 28:20Speaker 01

  Did she say?

• 28:23Speaker 01

  What did she say?

• 28:25Speaker 00

  And just seeing you teach maths made me so wet. And it was in an assembly.

• 28:34Speaker 01

  Are you kidding?

• 28:35Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 28:38Speaker 00

  Yeah, that didn't happen. Uh, thank you so much for your message. I'd love some follow up on that, to be honest with you. Occasionally you get, um, you get weird DMs, like I, uh, did, um, I did, I did a bit in my last tour.

• 28:57Speaker 00

  What did I, what was this? It was something about if Lisa and I split up, I'd be, I'd, I wouldn't care if the next woman I got together with liked me for me. I wouldn't be thinking about that. I'd be pouring maple syrup all over her. That was like the joke. And then somebody got in touch with me and said, I just wanted to let you know that if you ever split up with Lisa, I'd be really willing to be the girl you pour maple syrup all over. P S, I'm very flexible. So anyway, we still, we kept in touch.

• 29:26Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 29:29Speaker 00

  Next message, this is a voice note from Holly.

• 29:33Speaker 05

  Hi, Romesh and Shanti and Ben, Will and John. Never forget you guys. Uh, absolutely love the pod. Um, my name's Holly. I'm from Bristol. Uh, Rom, you are my.

• 29:45Speaker 00

  Favorite comedian of all time. I have seen every single stand up show you've ever done, every single show you've ever done. Absolutely love you. Please never stop what you're doing because you are the absolute best and I can never stop laughing when I'm watching you. Oh my god, you need to watch. Shanti, I also absolutely adore you. I think you are the most beautiful woman inside and out. My only criticism, Rom, is I feel that you need to let your mum talk about her experiences more on the pod because I do think that the way that your mum sees the world and the things that your mum has been through could help so many people who have been through the same

• 30:30Speaker 00

  or similar things. And I also think it would be a really cathartic process for not just your mum, but for you and the family. And I just think it would be really helpful for lots and lots of people. And I think your mum's amazing and she deserves to tell her story. Thank you. Bye.

• 30:53Speaker 00

  Mum?

• 30:55Speaker 01

  I'm ready to tell.

• 30:56Speaker 00

  Thank you, Holly, for your voice note.

• 30:57Speaker 01

  Thank you, darling. Thank you.

• 30:58Speaker 00

  I find it, can I just, well, first of all, why don't you respond and then I'll give my response?

• 31:05Speaker 01

  Thank you, my dear, that put that question into Romesh. I don't know what his answer going to be. I'm very, I'm waiting to find out just now.

• 31:17Speaker 00

  Oh, okay.

• 31:21Speaker 00

  It's very literal response to that.

• 31:28Speaker 00

  Holly, uh, well, I've got a number of things in response to that. First of all, I find it, I, I, I can't, I find it hard to believe that you think that mum hasn't shared a lot of her stories on this podcast. I, I, I, I think there's a strong argument that my mum has shared more than anybody else has on any UK podcast in the history of podcasting. She's talked a lot about it.

• 31:57Speaker 01

  Maybe she knows about me.

• 31:58Speaker 00

  Yeah, maybe. So I think she has shared a lot about it. I do think, you're asking a serious question, so I'm going to answer seriously. One of my issues is that I think we might get legal action from the ghost of my father.

• 32:13Speaker 00

  He, he hasn't got, he hasn't got a right to reply or to respond to anything that we're saying.

• 32:19Speaker 01

  Or livell himself.

• 32:20Speaker 00

  I'm just saying, I'm not saying that, by the way, what I thought dad did on the face is, is I'm not siding with dad. But all I'm saying is, there's a lot of people that don't know dad. Dad passed away before I started doing any television. And sometimes I feel, if I'm being honest, I feel a bit bad that we talk really negatively about this guy that's passed on. And people don't know his side of what happened. And I'm not saying that his behaviour was justified, but he might have been going through a series of really horrible mental health issues that made him behave like that.

• 32:51Speaker 01

  Oh, he must have had a, sorry to interrupt, Sana.

• 32:55Speaker 00

  No, go on.

• 32:56Speaker 01

  His childhood trauma?

• 32:57Speaker 00

  I think he had childhood trauma. I think he had a validation issue. I think he had low self-esteem. I think he had lots of those things. So the, the, the, the, the direct result of that is that mum went through a lot of hardship. I feel like to just have us kind of go and then dad did this and dad did this and dad did this. And we're not, for understandable reasons, hearing from my dad or his side of it. I feel like that's a little bit, I, I, I actually feel that's a little bit irresponsible, actually, to be honest with you. I, I don't think that's really fair on the memory of my dad. That's partly how I feel. You know, like, all of the stuff that we've said publicly about him, I know we've joked about it, but has been pretty negative. I think, I, I, I think

• 33:39Speaker 00

  we have, do you know what I mean? And, and so that, that is what I worry about. The other thing, and I've said this to my mum a lot, is that I think my mum still hasn't got full closure on all of that.

• 33:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's true.

• 33:51Speaker 00

  And there's part of me that thinks that going back to that on this podcast, actually, without kind of us being professional therapists, is not actually helpful. I think it's, I think actually that sometimes I worry that mum is dragging herself mentally back to that. And so she's wallow, you know, she's revisiting all of that pain. And I think that if you're not doing that alongside somebody that's actually professionally trained to guide you through that, I think that's also slightly irresponsible. So while I do, I do, and mum and I have talked off podcast about what she's been through a lot, actually. We talk about, we talked about it loads, haven't we? So the, in answer to your question, I think that you're, I, I do think that you're right, that sometimes I shut, I do

• 34:36Speaker 00

  shut mum down from talking about these things. But I don't think the podcast is the right place for us to be engaging in all of this. And so actually, I do agree with you. I think mum talking about it is cathartic. But I think it's, I, I think that is, there's a thin line between catharsis and, and danger in terms of like, really spending too much time dwelling in those things. Hell of a spicy episode. Okay, let's, we have got another question. We've got a voice note from John. Please be funny, John.

• 35:12Speaker 03

  Hi, Romesh.

• 35:13Speaker 00

  Hello, John.

• 35:13Speaker 03

  Hi, Shanti.

• 35:14Speaker 01

  Hello.

• 35:15Speaker 03

  Me and my wife Gabby have been big fans of yours for a long time, Romesh. Just over 10 years ago, we were out celebrating Gabby's birthday, a few weeks before our wedding. It was late night and we were pretty drunk, when we spotted you and a friend sitting near us. I thought it would be a nice birthday present if I got you to shout something funny at her. So I waited till Gabby went to the bar, then I came over and asked if you could turn around and shout, oi, Gabby, why don't you just fuck off at her when she came back? You seemed a little unsure about this at first, but I managed to persuade you that she'd find it hilarious. Anyway, you very kindly went through with it. She laughed

• 35:58Speaker 03

  her head off and you've remained our favourite comedian ever since. Fast forward to now, and we have two beautiful daughters and are about to celebrate our 10 year wedding anniversary. So my question for you both is, do you have any advice for us for the next 10 years of our marriage? And Shanti, to make up for your horrible son telling my wife to fuck off, can you send her a nice wedding anniversary message instead? Or if you prefer, you can just tell her to fuck off as well. It's fine. Love you. Bye.

• 36:31Speaker 01

  Bye.

• 36:31Speaker 00

  Can I just say, I don't remember this interaction at all.

• 36:35Speaker 01

  Oh, that's very rude, Romesh.

• 36:37Speaker 00

  Well, I don't remember, I don't remember, I don't remember. How long ago did you say it happened?

• 36:42Speaker 07

  10 years.

• 36:42Speaker 01

  10 years ago?

• 36:43Speaker 00

  10 years ago. Do I remember saying fuck off Gabby? That does happen weirdly a lot. A lot of people get, not get in touch. Well, come up to you and go, can you say something horrible to the person I'm with? And I'm, yeah, like, because they, I, I don't know why. They go, can you say this person's a prick or whatever? And I'm always a little bit hesitant. So that's why, that does sound consistent with how I would react to someone. I don't know that he's married to this woman. So then like, somebody comes back and I don't know if they've had an argument or something like that. And then Gabby, why don't you just fuck off? I don't know what the context of that is. So that's why I was probably hesitant.

• 37:26Speaker 00

  Because it's like, you don't know, I don't know. And also, even if John thinks it's a joke, Gabby might not, you know, you don't know what the dynamics are. There's so many times where somebody thinks something's funny. What I don't want to go is Gabby, why don't you just fuck off? And then she bursts into tears and runs out. Anyway, that didn't, I did it.

• 37:44Speaker 00

  So for all of my bullshit about being hesitant about it, clearly I did it. Unless I didn't and John's a racist. And some other random brown man told your wife to fuck off. But I don't think that's what happened. Mum?

• 37:59Speaker 01

  Yeah?

• 38:00Speaker 00

  Oh, how do I, how do you, any advice for the next, so, do I have any advice, John, for you for the next 10 years of your marriage? Lisa and I have recently discussed, uh, seven, seven, seven, uh, as a way of keeping our marriage spicy, which is a date every seven days, a night away every seven weeks, and a holiday every seven months. That is, because I think actually, and we haven't stuck to it, we managed to go for a date one week and it's been two months since. But the intention is there. And I think actually what you, I think you can get, you can fall into the trap. One thing that Lisa and I have realised

• 38:43Speaker 00

  is that marriages or relationships are just really, really hard. And actually, you can

• 38:49Speaker 00

  fall into the trap of forgetting why is you got together with somebody because you're so busy with work or so busy with other aspects of your life. So actually, you need to, in the same way that invest in your work and your work relationship, same way that you invest in your friendships, you've got to invest in your relationship and make sure that you actually, often your partner will see the worst version of you. You know, you come home, you're knackered, you're not performative in any way when you're with your partner because they know you're the best. And then you can be a bit of a prick without realising. And so it's kind of being mindful of that and putting an effort in. And actually, you will be disproportionately rewarded for your efforts. That's my opinion. Mum, what did you think of that advice?

• 39:30Speaker 01

  Fantastic. I agree with you. So a lot of things that you say, absolutely right.

• 39:36Speaker 00

  Thanks. Thanks so much. Thank you so much for your voice. Mum, can you do them an anniversary message?

• 39:41Speaker 01

  Hi, John and Gabby. Happy anniversary, my darling. Be nice to each other. I love you a lot. I never met you, but everything's going to work out. I pray for you.

• 39:53Speaker 00

  Probably.

• 39:54Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 39:55Speaker 00

  Statistically, it's unlikely, doesn't it? Just kidding. Happy anniversary. Everything's going to work out. Uh, that is all we have got time for. It's been real, guys. Some would say too real. I think we're going to go and have a few more tablespoons of chili oil and then lie down to come from this so appropriate, for a go from whatever the fuck that was.

• 40:21Speaker 00

  See you on Monday.

• 40:27Speaker 00

  Thank you so much for watching and listening to this episode. Before you go, if you've enjoyed this episode and you've not subscribed, that's a bold decision, crazy behaviour. Follow and subscribe to the Romesh Wang and Ethan Show wherever you listen. It helps me, really, like, really helps me. It helps the team. And it costs you absolutely nothing. We drop episodes every Monday and Thursday. Mondays, I'm joined by great guests. Thursdays, my mum Shanti joins me to answer your questions and family dilemmas. We'll see you Monday with another great guest and back here with mum on Thursday. If you've got a problem you want to solve or a story you want to share, send it to [email protected], voice note or text us on 07731 623355. We can't promise good advice, but you might end up

• 41:11Speaker 00

  on the show. See you soon.

• 41:14Speaker 01

  Oh, shut up, Romesh.

• 41:15Speaker 04

  Finding a doctor is hard enough. Finding the right doctor, even harder. Someone who takes your insurance, has an available appointment when you need one, and feels like someone you can actually open up to. That's where Zocdoc comes in. Download the Zocdoc app to search and compare doctors by specialty, insurance and availability. Read real patient reviews, find the right fit for you and book instantly. Because getting seen by the right doctor matters. Zocdoc. Ready to be seen? Download the Zocdoc app today.