Shanthi's Reincarnation, Gym Etiquette & Getting Caught In The Act

What do you say when your 8-year-old walks in on you in 'the act'? Romesh and his mum Shanthi take on your questions and family dilemmas, even though they remain thoroughly unqualified to do so. This week, a listener needs help after their son caught them in the middle of the night, and Romesh and Shanthi try to work out the best response. A role play that quickly goes off the rails... Got a dilemma? Send us a voice note or email, and we might answer it on the show. Nothing is off limits (we really mean it). A Ranga Bee Production. Chapters 00:00 Intro 00:30 Shanthi's Next outfit 03:08 Caught by an 8-year-old 05:11 Questionable role play 14:03 Romesh on gym self-consciousness 19:10 Romesh's golden rule for sticking to fitness 20:13 Shanthi's diet and jacket potato fillings 22:16 Farting etiquette 24:56 Does reincarnation exist? 29:12 The reincarnated child surgeon 31:48 Shanthi's fortune teller and the fake FUBU 36:23 Romesh can't read the menu 43:07 Outro Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Lubric cucumber and get the party started. It's the Thursday edition of the Romesh Ranganathan Show. Every Thursday we catch up, don't we? And we answer your questions and dilemmas. And in case anybody, we've had a lot of questions in about whether the episode drops on all platforms. I can confirm it drops on all platforms, every single one. And you can listen or watch or do both. It's even better when you're subscribed. What's your favourite platform to watch a podcast on, Mum?

• 0:30Speaker 01

  Spotify.

• 0:30Speaker 00

  Spotify. Yeah. Mum, how are you today?

• 0:37Speaker 01

  I'm fine, thank you.

• 0:40Speaker 00

  Cool.

• 0:40Speaker 01

  Good.

• 0:41Speaker 00

  Nice fit today. What, tell me, talk me through your look.

• 0:45Speaker 01

  This is also from Next.

• 0:47Speaker 00

  Next.

• 0:47Speaker 01

  And.

• 0:48Speaker 00

  Next, can I just, if I may address Next directly, Next Direct.

• 0:56Speaker 00

  You need to get Mum on board with something, guys. Yeah? She's wearing almost exclusively. Yeah.

• 1:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, because they are cut, the trousers and everything fits me. I just pick up.

• 1:06Speaker 00

  Yeah. And it's nice to wear something that's made by relatives. Mum, can you introduce the show with a wish for the listeners? Like do a motivational talk and then welcome to the show? Like a little bit of positive advice.

• 1:20Speaker 01

  Hi, my darlings. Please, please watch Romesh Ranganathan podcast. We love you all. Waiting for the, your email and everything. And please, watch. I love you.

• 1:34Speaker 00

  Okay, but if they're like, maybe think about it like if somebody's struggling with their day and they want a little bit of a lift.

• 1:42Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:45Speaker 01

  Do you want me to do everything again?

• 1:46Speaker 00

  Please.

• 1:51Speaker 01

  Hi, everybody.

• 1:53Speaker 00

  Good.

• 1:53Speaker 01

  Welcome to Romesh Ranganathan podcast.

• 1:56Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:57Speaker 01

  And if you're having a bad day or your girlfriend shouted at you, or she's going to leave you, talk to us. And this will cheer you up and we can give you all the advice we can give you. Because we love you. Yeah, welcome to the podcast.

• 2:20Speaker 02

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• 2:49Speaker 03

  At Zocdoc, we know you care about your health. You wouldn't do that early morning cardio if you didn't. So the fact that your annual physical is overdue just shows how hard it can be to get seen by a doctor.

• 3:00Speaker 02

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• 3:02Speaker 04

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• 3:06Speaker 02

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• 3:30Speaker 01

  With me, Shanti.

• 3:32Speaker 00

  Hey, really good. I imagine if your girlfriend's about to leave you, that has perked you right up. Now, it's time for the listener question section.

• 3:42Speaker 01

  Yay.

• 3:42Speaker 00

  If you have a question that you think we could help with, and basically nothing is off limits.

• 3:48Speaker 00

  Absolutely nothing. We will give it our best, won't we? But we're not qualified. We should be clear on that.

• 3:54Speaker 01

  Because I, I went through so much problem. I love to use my experience.

• 4:01Speaker 00

  Great.

• 4:01Speaker 01

  To give you a bit of advice, that's all. I'm not expert, but my experience might help you. You know, the life is there to enjoy.

• 4:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 4:11Speaker 01

  So don't feel sad.

• 4:12Speaker 00

  And I'm here too. Please send your WhatsApp messages and voice notes to 07731623355 or email [email protected].

• 4:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's the best.

• 4:25Speaker 00

  Let's start with the first question. We've got an anonymous WhatsApp from a listener who we're dubbing Maisy.

• 4:34Speaker 00

  Okay. Hi, Shanti and Romesh. I've spent the last three weeks binge listening to get up to speed. Thursday episodes are of course my favourites.

• 4:43Speaker 00

  Anyway, we need your advice. Two months ago, the most embarrassing moment of our lives happened. My husband and I got caught having sex by our eight-year-old son in the middle of the night. Worse, we think he was standing in our room watching us for a while.

• 4:59Speaker 00

  And even worse than that, we were doing doggy.

• 5:03Speaker 00

  In the moment when he asked what we were doing, we said mummy had hurt her back and daddy was rubbing it with his dick. No, she didn't say that. She didn't say that. I just added that. I added that, sorry. But then our son asked, why were your balls hitting her butt?

• 5:24Speaker 00

  I added something that wasn't as bad as the real.

• 5:30Speaker 00

  Why were your balls hitting her butt?

• 5:34Speaker 00

  Anyway, we couldn't look him in the eye for a few days. He's never mentioned anything since. Shanti, as a parent, how do we fix this? Should we have answered differently?

• 5:46Speaker 00

  Romesh, how long until a child forgets traumatic core memories? Should we start saving for counselling?

• 5:52Speaker 00

  Is that the end?

• 5:54Speaker 00

  Thanks and sorry for any trauma this brings up when you discuss. Please keep us anonymous for obvious reasons. And that's from Maisy and Dan. No, just kidding. We've dubbed them Maisy. Mum, how would you help Maisy? She was getting it doggy and her son has seen it.

• 6:14Speaker 01

  Just tell him that they are going to practise for wrestling match.

• 6:19Speaker 00

  Okay. Shall we, shall we try this out? I'll be the kid.

• 6:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:23Speaker 00

  And you can be Maisy.

• 6:24Speaker 01

  Question, I'll give you the honest opinion or answer.

• 6:27Speaker 00

  Okay, so this is the next day.

• 6:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:30Speaker 00

  I've seen you and my dad having sex the night before. And I've got some questions about it.

• 6:37Speaker 01

  Okay, go ahead.

• 6:38Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 6:40Speaker 00

  Mummy?

• 6:42Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 6:44Speaker 01

  Yes, what is it?

• 6:51Speaker 00

  Why are you doing that?

• 6:52Speaker 01

  You, you read that I'm copying.

• 6:53Speaker 00

  Oh, right. Did I do that? Okay.

• 6:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:55Speaker 00

  Mummy?

• 6:56Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 6:58Speaker 00

  What was going on last night in your bedroom?

• 7:01Speaker 01

  What, what do you mean? What was going on? Nothing was going on.

• 7:05Speaker 00

  I'm starting to see the, I'm starting to see the mistake in doing this as a role play.

• 7:18Speaker 00

  You were, you were bent over.

• 7:23Speaker 01

  Yeah? Continue the sentence.

• 7:26Speaker 00

  And daddy's balls were hitting your butt.

• 7:30Speaker 01

  Maybe he's just joking and.

• 7:32Speaker 00

  Joking with his balls?

• 7:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:34Speaker 00

  What do you mean?

• 7:35Speaker 01

  Joking with his balls.

• 7:37Speaker 00

  You were on all fours and he was behind you.

• 7:40Speaker 01

  Was he?

• 7:41Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 7:42Speaker 01

  No, daddy was showing how the dogs do the things. So he was trying to tell me how to do.

• 7:48Speaker 00

  What things?

• 7:52Speaker 00

  Are you okay?

• 7:53Speaker 01

  Doing intimate things, like, you know, when you love somebody, you do all those things. Yeah, yeah. You touch them or just cuddle them.

• 8:04Speaker 01

  You don't need to know where, okay? When you grow up, you will find out where, okay?

• 8:11Speaker 00

  Okay, so what were you doing? So what was he doing? He was showing you how dogs do intimate things? Is that what you're saying?

• 8:16Speaker 01

  Yes, well, yeah, that's what he was doing. Yeah, yeah. We were not doing anything, just, you know, playing around.

• 8:22Speaker 00

  And I saw your bottom.

• 8:24Speaker 01

  Never mind the balls, okay?

• 8:28Speaker 00

  What was that? What was actually happening though?

• 8:32Speaker 00

  Are you okay?

• 8:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm okay.

• 8:39Speaker 01

  That's what he's called. I come to, I don't want to lie to you, my son.

• 8:42Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 8:43Speaker 01

  I'll come to the point. That's called sex.

• 8:50Speaker 01

  Because I don't want to beat around the bush.

• 8:53Speaker 00

  Okay. Looked like that's what dad was doing.

• 8:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:58Speaker 01

  That's what he was doing.

• 8:59Speaker 00

  Right.

• 9:00Speaker 01

  When you grow up, you will understand.

• 9:02Speaker 00

  So what is sex?

• 9:03Speaker 01

  Too young to understand now.

• 9:04Speaker 00

  What is sex?

• 9:07Speaker 01

  Making babies.

• 9:08Speaker 00

  Making babies? Are we, am I gonna have a brother or sister?

• 9:12Speaker 01

  You might do, if you're lucky.

• 9:14Speaker 00

  So how does sex work?

• 9:16Speaker 01

  Sex works, I don't want to explain to you what to do. You're too young to understand that. Even if I explain, you won't know.

• 9:23Speaker 00

  But what is it?

• 9:25Speaker 01

  Sex is sex. S E X, sex.

• 9:27Speaker 00

  I know, but what is it?

• 9:30Speaker 01

  What do you mean? What is it?

• 9:32Speaker 00

  You keep saying sex, but you're not saying what it is. What happens in sex?

• 9:38Speaker 01

  I can't tell you that. Too difficult to explain, my son.

• 9:42Speaker 00

  Okay. What, but what were you doing?

• 9:46Speaker 01

  What was I doing?

• 9:47Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 9:49Speaker 01

  I let dad do whatever he wants to do.

• 9:54Speaker 00

  And what did he want to do?

• 9:56Speaker 01

  Having sex.

• 9:57Speaker 00

  Okay, and what is that?

• 9:59Speaker 01

  It's a sex.

• 10:00Speaker 00

  It's a sex. It's a sex.

• 10:04Speaker 01

  I, sorry, I am not your son anymore, no, mother anymore.

• 10:11Speaker 00

  Oh, you're out of the role play?

• 10:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:13Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 10:14Speaker 01

  I can't say that, explain to your son what it is all about.

• 10:18Speaker 00

  Maisy, basically.

• 10:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:20Speaker 00

  Our advice to you. Our advice to you Maisy is to say that you're having sex, but don't allow any further follow up questions.

• 10:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's true.

• 10:31Speaker 00

  And that should hopefully, uh.

• 10:33Speaker 01

  Heal the pain.

• 10:34Speaker 00

  Um, how old is the kid? Eight.

• 10:38Speaker 01

  Eight.

• 10:39Speaker 00

  Um, I, I, I would, I would like you to think about it from your kid's point of view a little bit. I think that you should try and address this in a conversation or ask if he has any questions. Because if you look at it from his point of view, he's seen his mum and dad doing something he doesn't really understand. And now you're not really talking to him. That's kind of a, that, that's probably gonna make it worse. So I would say, um, I would say you probably just wanna have a chat and say, I wouldn't even use the word sex.

• 11:09Speaker 01

  Can I interrupt?

• 11:10Speaker 00

  Please.

• 11:11Speaker 01

  Why didn't they lock the door?

• 11:14Speaker 00

  Not everybody has a lock on their bedroom door.

• 11:18Speaker 01

  When you do things like that, they should make sure the, the baby is asleep, the son is.

• 11:24Speaker 00

  Well, they probably did, but I don't think they thought, oh, he's awaking up and about, let's get down to it. I think he, they probably thought he was asleep and then didn't realise.

• 11:31Speaker 01

  I don't understand, if somebody walks into your room, you should know.

• 11:35Speaker 00

  Yeah, but they're in it, they're doing it.

• 11:37Speaker 01

  So?

• 11:38Speaker 00

  They're banging.

• 11:39Speaker 01

  They're banging each other, right?

• 11:40Speaker 00

  Let me tell you something from experience, when you lock in, you lock in.

• 11:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:44Speaker 00

  You know, there could be a fire outside, Lisa and I are not gonna notice, cause we're going fucking hammer and tongs. Do you know what I mean?

• 11:51Speaker 01

  You are the one saying.

• 11:52Speaker 00

  Sometimes it like, sometimes Lisa and I'll have sex and then the next day the kids will go, was there an earthquake last night?

• 11:58Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 11:58Speaker 00

  And I go, maybe guys, maybe, of sorts.

• 12:02Speaker 05

  Can I, can I ask a question? If the balls are hitting the bottom.

• 12:06Speaker 01

  Bottom, yeah.

• 12:07Speaker 05

  Aren't they doing it wrong?

• 12:08Speaker 01

  That's what I thought. Why the ball is here? Yeah.

• 12:12Speaker 05

  Well, cause.

• 12:15Speaker 05

  Wouldn't you be then higher?

• 12:17Speaker 00

  Well, as you know, Ben, whenever you're doing doggy style, the etiquette is to tuck your balls into your anus.

• 12:27Speaker 00

  And that avoids things like that happening, doesn't it? Um, look, the truth of it is, is once you have children, you need to stop having sex forever.

• 12:34Speaker 01

  No, don't.

• 12:35Speaker 00

  That is the safest option, is to avoid ever having sex again. And a lot of times, having children takes care of that for you.

• 12:43Speaker 01

  I think they are careless.

• 12:43Speaker 00

  When they're very little, you don't want them to, I, I don't want them to, you don't want them to walk in. As they get older, they're, they're aware of what sex is, you certainly don't want them to become aware of it. Do you know what I mean? We put a sock on the doorknob.

• 12:56Speaker 01

  I don't think so.

• 12:58Speaker 00

  I, uh, some people do it with, I couldn't even do it with, if the dogs are in the room.

• 13:04Speaker 01

  That they do wash though.

• 13:05Speaker 00

  Some people have sex and their dogs just sat at the end of the bed.

• 13:09Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's weird as well.

• 13:10Speaker 00

  That is weird, I think that's weird.

• 13:11Speaker 01

  Especially when you have a parrot.

• 13:13Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 13:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, can you imagine? Imagine you'll be saying.

• 13:17Speaker 05

  Going for it last night?

• 13:22Speaker 05

  Snap on me last night?

• 13:25Speaker 05

  Didn't last long, pucker?

• 13:31Speaker 00

  Is that what you mean?

• 13:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:33Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 13:35Speaker 00

  We've got a voice note from David, uh, I believe this is the guy whose balls are banging against Maisy's butt.

• 13:41Speaker 06

  Hey, Romesh and Shanti, my name's David, I'm from Kildare, Ireland, massive fan of the show. Look forward to it every Thursday to hear yous waffling on about all the, all the show yous do. And I have a question, Romesh, for yourself, I know you've lost a bit of weight, uh, fair play to you. And I'm currently trying to be better and go to the gym or just trying to get in better shape. But even today, while I was listening to your podcast in the gym, as I, as I always do. Uh, I was trying this lift with some weights and I hadn't really, I hadn't a clue what I was doing basically. And embarrassingly, some fella who's clearly there for seven days a week, came up and said, uh, pal, you're doing that wrong. Your, my hands were the wrong way round or something, something terribly embarrassing.

• 14:24Speaker 06

  Uh, and I just wanted to leave then, I'm gonna put them, I said, cheers, thanks, yeah. And just kinda left. And I was wondering, was there any learning curve for you or getting over the embarrassment of not really being comfortable in the gym environment? Especially in front of these fellas who are there every day of the week. Was there a learning curve or did you do more workouts at home? Uh, anyway, and how did you stick to it? Anyway, thanks a million, I love the show and yous are the best.

• 14:52Speaker 00

  Oh my god, what a lovely guy. Uh, thank you so much for your voice note, David, uh, good luck with, uh, your health journey. Uh, what, what's the question? Did I feel self-conscious at the gym? Yeah, yeah, when I started going, you can't help feeling a bit awkward. Um, and also I, I, I mean, I just, can I just say, I don't, I don't know how other people feel. I, I think I'm, I, I've got like a particular issue. I don't want to be spoken to at the gym at all. You know, I don't mind a hello, how's it going? Keep it brief, I, I remember I was at the gym once and some guy spent twenty minutes just following me around trying to sell me an N F T.

• 15:37Speaker 00

  It's like, fuck off. Um, and you do get self-conscious, but the truth is, most people are not looking at you. You know, like, most people are trying to get on with their own shit. So you, you kind of have to power through that. I had a thing where I was doing a squat, I hadn't put clips on the end of the thing. And then I leant one way, all of those, all of those weights fell off. And then obviously that becomes lighter, then you go that way, all of the weights fell off, it stopped the entire gym. They all looked round, I felt like such a helmet, but actually, weirdly, that humiliation ritual immunised me from feeling that ever again. I was just like, well, that, it can't get much worse than that. So I was totally all right. Uh, but, um, do you get, you do a lot of exercise now, Mum, don't you?

• 16:19Speaker 01

  I do a lot of exercise, I'm doing five days a week now. Yeah, uh, to be healthy.

• 16:26Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 16:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:27Speaker 00

  Okay, why are you being, what's that? Why do you seem ashamed of it?

• 16:31Speaker 01

  I don't care what other people think now.

• 16:33Speaker 00

  Yeah, she doesn't give a shit.

• 16:34Speaker 01

  I don't give a shit.

• 16:35Speaker 00

  No.

• 16:36Speaker 01

  You can talk about me, you can.

• 16:37Speaker 00

  Who cares?

• 16:38Speaker 01

  I, I, what's that, train myself, now, I'm not lying, train myself.

• 16:44Speaker 00

  She's not lying.

• 16:45Speaker 01

  People can talk about me, people can say things or criticize my body or looking, I don't care a damn. I don't care a fuck.

• 16:52Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 16:53Speaker 01

  I will do what I want.

• 16:55Speaker 00

  A fuck.

• 16:56Speaker 01

  I'll go there as much as I can, if it is hard, I will try my best.

• 17:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 17:02Speaker 01

  Then come home. That's it, I enjoy that day after I finish my exercise.

• 17:08Speaker 00

  So a lot of shagging goes on at the gym near me, I'm pretty sure of it.

• 17:12Speaker 01

  Where do they shag?

• 17:13Speaker 00

  I don't think they're shagging at the gym, but there's a lot of like, I would describe flirtatious conversation, it's clear that things are being teed up.

• 17:21Speaker 01

  But when you see a person, their body language says it all, look at me, I've got beautiful boobs, look at my bum.

• 17:30Speaker 00

  Who's, what body language tells you that? I'd love to.

• 17:33Speaker 01

  The way they move, their body.

• 17:35Speaker 00

  They were walking, I would say.

• 17:36Speaker 01

  Walking and.

• 17:37Speaker 00

  Yeah, and the way they walk.

• 17:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 17:39Speaker 00

  Suggests that they're.

• 17:40Speaker 01

  I mean, they are proud of their body, they worked hard.

• 17:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 17:44Speaker 01

  I don't mind them showing it off, but I never seen any shagging.

• 17:48Speaker 00

  No, I've not seen any shagging either.

• 17:50Speaker 01

  Uh, so why did you bring that topic?

• 17:52Speaker 00

  What I'm saying is that it feels like a lot of people is sort of, I think people, some people use the gym as a bit of a social.

• 17:58Speaker 01

  It is, it is, I found lovely people there.

• 18:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 18:02Speaker 01

  Gimbalis, we call it, we go for coffee, we go for lunch and everything.

• 18:06Speaker 00

  That's nice.

• 18:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:07Speaker 00

  Um, I, um, I had an unfortunate incident and now I'm doubling down on it, where, um.

• 18:16Speaker 00

  This was a couple of years ago, I'm sure you won't mind me telling this story because we've addressed it now. But there's a guy at the gym who, uh, is really ripped, really ripped. And we'd started saying hello at the gym and stuff. And then he said to me, he was limping a bit and I said, are you okay? And he said, I had a vasectomy two days ago.

• 18:38Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 18:39Speaker 00

  Um, so I'm feeling a bit sore and then he said, do you wanna see? And, uh, before I could answer, he had his phone out and he had a picture of his dick and balls. And like, it was all purple where it'd kind of got bruising from the, from the procedure. Um, anyway, so I was quite shocked. And then later on that day, I was recording an episode of the Wolf and I podcast. And I told that story on the podcast, anyway, it turns out he listens to it. He, the next time I saw him at the gym, he said to me, I've just heard that I got, my wife said to me, that I've got, that she's pretty sure I've got talked about on your podcast. I'm just gonna go on the treadmill and listen to it now.

• 19:19Speaker 00

  So I had to carry on my workout, knowing that an absolute ripped mofo was over there listening to me talk about him. Luckily, he took it in quite a good humour, I was expected to get the shit kicked out of him.

• 19:33Speaker 01

  He's a gentleman.

• 19:34Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 19:34Speaker 01

  He's a gentleman, yeah.

• 19:35Speaker 00

  As we know, a gentleman always shows you a dick pic.

• 19:40Speaker 00

  That's one of the first codes of conduct. Um, but yeah, uh, in answer, uh, by the way, you're sort of, I think you are genuinely asking for tips, David. Um, I have been up and down and actually I've put on a bit of weight recently. Don't know if you can tell.

• 19:56Speaker 01

  Last time. I noticed I didn't want to say it.

• 20:01Speaker 01

  But today you look very slim, your face slim down.

• 20:04Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 20:04Speaker 01

  And why are you dieting?

• 20:06Speaker 00

  No, I'm the same weight as I was then, but I have put on a little bit of weight, but I'm not that worried about that. But, uh, it sounds like you, I, I, I think, um,

• 20:16Speaker 00

  my, I, I kind of ended up bouncing up and down. My rule now is, and it doesn't always stick, but is to not start doing something that I couldn't envisage doing for the rest of my life. Or at least for the next 10 years. And what I mean by that is if I decide to start running, to not go, I'm going to run every day for two hours because there's no way I'll keep that up. So it's like, could I imagine me doing this in the long term? And if I can't imagine me doing it in the long term, I don't even start doing it. Does that make sense? So like, so if I decide to start running.

• 20:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:47Speaker 00

  Like, how many times could I fit running in a week realistically that I could continue twice? So that's what you do. What you don't do, what I don't do is go, I'm going to run every day or I'm going to do weights every day, whatever, because it's not sustainable. So I just go for something that's sustainable and it means it's slower. But it's arguably lasts longer. Do you know what I mean?

• 21:07Speaker 01

  You don't have to kill yourself every day.

• 21:09Speaker 00

  No, I don't.

• 21:10Speaker 01

  Just twenty minutes.

• 21:13Speaker 00

  And you look, I mean, you've dropped a lot. I, I, we posted a video on my screen the other day from the, even from when I did the Netflix special.

• 21:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:19Speaker 00

  You look a lot thinner than that.

• 21:21Speaker 02

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• 21:50Speaker 03

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• 22:01Speaker 02

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• 22:03Speaker 04

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• 22:07Speaker 02

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• 22:22Speaker 01

  Oh. Because of the exercise I do.

• 22:25Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 22:25Speaker 01

  And I don't eat rubbish. I eat the.

• 22:28Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 22:28Speaker 01

  Loads of fruit.

• 22:29Speaker 00

  You do eat rubbish though, don't you? Sometimes.

• 22:32Speaker 01

  Cake I do.

• 22:32Speaker 00

  Yeah, cake. You're a bit of a cake fiend, aren't you?

• 22:35Speaker 01

  Cake.

• 22:35Speaker 00

  You've got a sweet tooth, haven't you?

• 22:36Speaker 01

  I have, I have, I have. I like marshmallows and cakes like that.

• 22:40Speaker 00

  So you eat marshmallows and cakes, but apart from that, very careful.

• 22:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:43Speaker 00

  How often are you eating marshmallows, would you say?

• 22:45Speaker 01

  Once in two months when I.

• 22:47Speaker 00

  Once in two months?

• 22:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 22:48Speaker 00

  How often are you eating cake?

• 22:50Speaker 01

  Oh, when I make it, I don't make cakes that often.

• 22:53Speaker 00

  You get cake at Haskins though, don't you?

• 22:57Speaker 01

  No, I don't. I go for, um, jacket potato, I eat.

• 23:03Speaker 00

  Every time you go to Haskins, you get a jacket potato?

• 23:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, sometimes I'll eat cake.

• 23:07Speaker 00

  Okay. What fillings do you have on your jacket? Taste how shanty? Cake.

• 23:11Speaker 01

  Tuna. Oh, shut the fuck up, Romeshi.

• 23:16Speaker 01

  Have you ever heard anybody pulling the filling on jacket potato, cake? Do you?

• 23:21Speaker 00

  No.

• 23:21Speaker 01

  Ah.

• 23:22Speaker 00

  I was just making a joke, sorry.

• 23:23Speaker 01

  Tuna, tuna and mayonnaise and you talk rubbish sometimes.

• 23:28Speaker 00

  Sorry, I was just making a joke. I shouldn't have done. So you have tuna?

• 23:32Speaker 01

  Tuna.

• 23:33Speaker 00

  Anything else? Or about cheese and beans?

• 23:35Speaker 01

  No.

• 23:35Speaker 00

  No.

• 23:36Speaker 01

  That makes you fart. No.

• 23:37Speaker 00

  Okay. Chili con carne?

• 23:40Speaker 01

  Kidney beans gives me trouble, so I don't eat kidney meat.

• 23:43Speaker 00

  So basically it's not because you like tuna, it's the only thing that doesn't make you flat.

• 23:46Speaker 01

  I love tuna with mayonnaise and green chili and onions inside.

• 23:50Speaker 00

  But they don't do that at Haskins, do they?

• 23:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, but I, when I make it.

• 23:54Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 23:54Speaker 01

  I will eat that with all those things, yeah.

• 23:56Speaker 00

  You don't mind farting though. Some of my fondest memories are you just lifting your leg and letting one go.

• 24:02Speaker 01

  For me? Have you, no, don't, I don't do that. I'm not a dog.

• 24:08Speaker 00

  No.

• 24:09Speaker 01

  Lifting my leg and show the balls. Shut up.

• 24:12Speaker 00

  I have heard you fart though in the past.

• 24:14Speaker 01

  Did you?

• 24:14Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 24:15Speaker 01

  When, maybe when.

• 24:16Speaker 00

  Sounded like a faulty trumpet is the best way to describe it.

• 24:18Speaker 01

  Oh, no, I don't know.

• 24:21Speaker 00

  It's not, I don't think I've ever heard you fart actually. I was just joking. I don't think I've ever heard you fart. What's the, what's the rules about animals? What's the rules about farting in front of your other halves?

• 24:30Speaker 01

  I, I think it's a put, put off.

• 24:31Speaker 00

  Alfie's saying it's good.

• 24:33Speaker 06

  It's, well, it, it means you're comfortable, aren't you? Like you, you, you, if you're constantly holding in all that gas, it's going to be bad for you. It's actually like medically quite bad for you.

• 24:42Speaker 05

  Rick Glassman says that you can't have a happy relationship, I think, unless you can fart in front of each other and you both find that funny.

• 24:49Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 24:49Speaker 05

  That's like the key to a happy relationship.

• 24:51Speaker 00

  He's also single.

• 24:53Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's true. That is a hundred percent true.

• 24:55Speaker 00

  I'm not.

• 24:59Speaker 00

  No, just, I'm just saying. Yeah, I'm just saying, you know.

• 25:03Speaker 05

  Can't follow.

• 25:04Speaker 00

  I would say research your profits.

• 25:09Speaker 00

  Is my advice. I was doing a, I was doing an episode of Misadventures and we went to, uh, the Arctic. And the guy that I was filming with, this guy Johnny, um, uh, who lived up there.

• 25:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:22Speaker 00

  He, we were waiting for a flight out of the Arctic. This is quite a small airport and he farted and it smelt so much it emptied the terminal.

• 25:33Speaker 00

  Everybody left the building.

• 25:36Speaker 01

  You're joking.

• 25:37Speaker 00

  I'm not joking. I mean, it was a small building, but they, everyone left.

• 25:42Speaker 01

  And I read about something, you know, the, one of the flight, oh, their, their food is no good. They're Indians, they brought their own food and started serving each other. And had a nice lunch.

• 25:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 25:59Speaker 01

  And other, I saw them holding the nose like that.

• 26:02Speaker 00

  Yeah, okay.

• 26:03Speaker 01

  Why is that?

• 26:04Speaker 00

  Why is what?

• 26:05Speaker 01

  Why you don't obey the rules?

• 26:06Speaker 00

  What, Indians?

• 26:09Speaker 01

  Asian.

• 26:10Speaker 00

  Yeah, okay, let's broaden it. Why can't Asians obey the rules? By the way, mum, you're saying that, I, one of my earliest memories of going to the cinema with you was when you went to watch Jurassic Park and you brought the spicy tuna i- in foil, didn't you?

• 26:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:26Speaker 00

  And we essentially unleashed a chemical weapon. One of the early shows of Jurassic Park. So I think, you know.

• 26:33Speaker 01

  I fry so many things, I thought I'll make use of it.

• 26:37Speaker 00

  Uh, okay, uh, we've got a voice note from Pete.

• 26:40Speaker 04

  Um, my name is Pete, I'm 50 years old. Um, just over 40 years ago, when I was about eight, I went on this, uh, visit to a village in Yorkshire with my parents. And they had just had a book published and the book was about reincarnation. And the book comprised lots of different stories that the parents of children had told my mum and had contacted my mum and told her these things. And she'd researched into these stories of reincarnation. And the ones in the book, apparently, you know, as far as she's concerned, um, passed muster.

• 27:26Speaker 04

  And so we met, went to Yorkshire, met this girl who was around about my age. And, you know, they had this kind of like publicity event whereby, you know, there were reporters and stuff. And, uh, you know, they answered questions about this girl's experiences. And ever since then, I've thought that reincarnation is a, is a thing that happens. I've always thought that. And I also think that, you know, we know about matter doesn't get destroyed. It just changes from one's to another, you know, transfers. Yeah, and so that might be, uh, some kind of, reincarnation might be an example of that.

• 28:11Speaker 04

  Uh, but my question to you really is, what do you think of reincarnation? Do you believe that it's a thing that can happen? And are, do you think that animals get reincarnated as well? And if you do, is it only certain kinds of animals? You know, is it just dogs and leopards? Or is it like, you know, big mammals? Or is it earwigs? You know, do ants get reincarnated? So, um, yeah, thanks very much for the show and take care.

• 28:49Speaker 00

  Uh, Pete, first of all, thank you so much for getting in touch with our podcast to send us your podcast.

• 28:56Speaker 01

  I think he's, he reads a lot of books and research, I think.

• 28:59Speaker 00

  He's got that kind of energy, like, this is like a guy. I, I feel like Pete's got the vibe of someone who's not on social media. You know, like he's just, he feels like in the moment, he's got a good like level of focus and concentration. You know, do you know what I mean?

• 29:16Speaker 01

  That's what you should do.

• 29:17Speaker 00

  I don't have that. I'm all over the place. Uh, but mum, first of all, let's get straight to the nub of Pete's question. Uh, do you think, do you believe in reincarnation?

• 29:28Speaker 01

  Hundred percent.

• 29:29Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 29:30Speaker 01

  I believe in reincarnation.

• 29:32Speaker 00

  So do you think this is, uh, this isn't your first life?

• 29:38Speaker 01

  No.

• 29:38Speaker 00

  No.

• 29:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, yeah.

• 29:40Speaker 00

  Uh, what would you like to, so have you ever had somebody try and look into your past lives before?

• 29:48Speaker 01

  Yes, I did once and, uh, there, there are special people in India. They read the, the chart like thing of a previous life.

• 29:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 30:00Speaker 01

  Um, and they said I was, they, they got my mum's name right, dad's name right. And they said he's Christian. Uh, but I can't remember anything else, but I do believe in, because people, when they go travel around, when they see a place, they always say, I have been to this place before.

• 30:22Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 30:23Speaker 01

  And you recognize the place, so that's a reincarnation. Sometimes the thing, the brain, what do you call that? Thing doesn't wipe out, uh, for certain.

• 30:34Speaker 00

  That don't clear the cache.

• 30:35Speaker 01

  Yes, no. There were, in India, there was a little boy was born, the previous life, he was a surgeon. But when he was born again, he could operate on people.

• 30:48Speaker 00

  How did they find that out?

• 30:50Speaker 01

  No, he did. They let him do it.

• 30:52Speaker 00

  They let him do that?

• 30:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, and they cured people. He was only.

• 30:55Speaker 00

  There's a cure of people?

• 30:56Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 30:57Speaker 00

  To get operated on by a toddler?

• 30:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, yes.

• 31:03Speaker 01

  What, what does it mean?

• 31:05Speaker 00

  It means we're going to V A R. Ben's gonna look this story up. So a kid was operating on people.

• 31:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, operating on people.

• 31:12Speaker 00

  Uh, if you Google reincarnated surgeon.

• 31:18Speaker 00

  Boy.

• 31:19Speaker 05

  There is a seven year old.

• 31:20Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 31:21Speaker 05

  At the age of seven, he gained fame after operating on an eight year old girl whose fingers were fused together. Isn't something about?

• 31:29Speaker 00

  Sorry, sorry. How old is this person?

• 31:31Speaker 05

  Seven.

• 31:32Speaker 00

  A seven year old? Who's doing the operation?

• 31:35Speaker 05

  That was legit, though.

• 31:36Speaker 00

  It doesn't feel legit.

• 31:37Speaker 05

  No. The Indian boy who gained attention as the world's youngest surgeon is um Akrit Jaswal, who reportedly performed an informal procedure at the age of seven.

• 31:50Speaker 00

  Okay, uh, I I mean, look, it depends on how you report that story, isn't it? A seven year old ripped somebody's fingers apart, sounds like. Informal procedure. I mean, all of this sounds really dodgy, doesn't it? Uh, what would you like to be reincarnated as, Mum?

• 32:10Speaker 01

  I don't want reincarnation. When I go, I want to stay there.

• 32:14Speaker 00

  Do animals get, so so the idea is, if I get, can I, if I get this wrong, but you you you come back and you sort of work your way up this, the the cycle.

• 32:25Speaker 01

  And the Hinduism says that you born as a animal.

• 32:30Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 32:30Speaker 01

  Or snake or tiger or whatever. Then you, then only you become a human being.

• 32:36Speaker 00

  Like you work your way up?

• 32:37Speaker 01

  Work your way up, yeah. That's what I.

• 32:39Speaker 00

  Do you work your way up through the animals?

• 32:42Speaker 01

  Anything, insect or whatever.

• 32:45Speaker 00

  Right.

• 32:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 32:46Speaker 00

  And then you come back as a person.

• 32:47Speaker 01

  As a human being.

• 32:48Speaker 00

  And then what happens after you live as a human?

• 32:50Speaker 01

  If you do good things, you don't have reincarnation. You stay there with God.

• 32:56Speaker 00

  So reincarnation, the idea of reincarnation is that you, there are some things that you need to do in order to gain.

• 33:01Speaker 01

  Say that, for example, you borrowed money, you played out the guy, and you didn't pay, you will have reincarnation and take a birth and somehow you will pay the money back.

• 33:15Speaker 00

  You have to have a certain level of positive karma, right?

• 33:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:19Speaker 00

  And any negative karma is called like karmic hindrance. But eating meat is a karmic hindrance, right?

• 33:24Speaker 01

  It is, I know. I'm doing the wrong thing.

• 33:27Speaker 00

  So you might come back as a goat.

• 33:30Speaker 01

  I don't know. I I can't answer that, yeah.

• 33:33Speaker 00

  But you're hoping this is your last go?

• 33:35Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 33:36Speaker 00

  Okay. What do you think you were before this? If you were to take a guess?

• 33:40Speaker 01

  I can't, I can't, I don't know. I don't know. How do I find out?

• 33:45Speaker 00

  Speak to that guy. I mean, you spoke to a guy that tells you.

• 33:47Speaker 01

  They only come uh, once in two years or three years, yeah. But I went there to find out my future, not the past.

• 33:57Speaker 00

  And what did he tell about your future?

• 33:58Speaker 01

  Nothing, everything wrong.

• 34:00Speaker 00

  Okay, so.

• 34:01Speaker 01

  You will be, your and your husband will be million years and you will, you will learn, you are going to start a clothing business. It's all rubbish. It went down after that.

• 34:13Speaker 00

  Did you speak to him again?

• 34:14Speaker 01

  No.

• 34:15Speaker 00

  No. I mean, there's a slight suspicion that he was telling you what he thinks you might wanted to hear. You're going to be millionaires is a great prediction. You're not gonna push back on that, are you?

• 34:25Speaker 01

  Through selling clothes.

• 34:26Speaker 00

  Through selling clothes and then dad.

• 34:28Speaker 01

  Dad was very happy.

• 34:29Speaker 00

  Bought all that. Is that why dad bought all that? Hold on, dad bought a whole.

• 34:32Speaker 01

  That's why, now you know. Remember?

• 34:35Speaker 00

  Oh my god.

• 34:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:37Speaker 00

  So this guy's actually affected our lives. My dad bought about three tonnes of knockoff FUBU.

• 34:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, right, remember?

• 34:45Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 34:46Speaker 01

  Ah, there you are. Now you believe me.

• 34:50Speaker 01

  Everything went down after that.

• 34:52Speaker 00

  I've got to stop discovering things on this podcast, man. I I I I actually think it's having a negative mental and spiritual effect on me. I can't start keep having these fucking epiphanies for broadcast.

• 35:07Speaker 00

  So this person said you're gonna be a millionaire off this clothing thing?

• 35:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:10Speaker 00

  And that's why dad went into that clothing?

• 35:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:14Speaker 00

  Because of a fortune teller?

• 35:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:16Speaker 00

  Fuck me.

• 35:19Speaker 01

  Fuck you too.

• 35:20Speaker 00

  No, I'm.

• 35:24Speaker 00

  Okay, anyway, then he ended up having to sort of give it away. We we were, me and Dim were wearing FUBU for ages. We wore so much FUBU. Do you remember?

• 35:34Speaker 01

  Trouble? Yeah.

• 35:36Speaker 00

  Yeah. It was all fake. Ron, what about you? What would you, what would you like to be reincarnated as? Listen, man, I should have been a rapper. This comedy thing, I'm just gonna say this.

• 35:48Speaker 01

  You'll be grateful, son, I will say.

• 35:50Speaker 00

  I've said it before, this is my compromised position. Okay, this is me making the best of the cards I've been dealt. Uh, no, I wanna be a rapper. I'd love to have been a rapper. I'd love to come back as a rapper.

• 36:03Speaker 01

  Okay, that might happen, never know.

• 36:05Speaker 05

  You could use this as a chance to.

• 36:07Speaker 01

  Rap a bit?

• 36:09Speaker 00

  Well, in order for that dream to come true, first I have to kill myself and come back.

• 36:12Speaker 01

  You rap about our podcast?

• 36:14Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 36:14Speaker 01

  You're so, uh, no, no, no.

• 36:17Speaker 00

  Romesh rang a name for the show, yeah. Yeah, check my flow, sitting with mum, everybody prefers her. That's it, that's all I've got.

• 36:25Speaker 01

  That's rubbish.

• 36:26Speaker 00

  Okay, well, that's what I'm saying. I'd have to be reincarnated. I haven't got the skills. If I had the skills, I would have been a rapper this time round. Do you know what I mean? What would you like to come back as, Mum?

• 36:37Speaker 01

  I don't want to come back.

• 36:38Speaker 00

  No, but if you were to come back, what would you like to come back as?

• 36:44Speaker 01

  I want to come back as a, as a woman.

• 36:47Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 36:48Speaker 01

  And have a

• 36:51Speaker 01

  loving marriage.

• 36:53Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 36:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, and have a beautiful children.

• 36:55Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 36:56Speaker 01

  And I want to have more love towards everybody, especially my husband.

• 37:01Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 37:01Speaker 01

  I missed out on that.

• 37:03Speaker 00

  Right.

• 37:03Speaker 01

  Really badly, even now, when I listen to the, some, the meaningful song, I started to cry because why I didn't have this kind of love, you know, about other people and joy. Uh, I'm a loveless, stupid woman, that's what I thought. But I want to have so much love and enjoy life.

• 37:24Speaker 00

  Animals, I I imagine you'd wanna come back as people.

• 37:27Speaker 05

  That'd be nice.

• 37:28Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 37:29Speaker 05

  I'd like to be an eagle, I think.

• 37:31Speaker 00

  You'd like to be an eagle?

• 37:32Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 37:32Speaker 00

  Why?

• 37:33Speaker 01

  One of the footballers said that. He wants to be an eagle, yeah.

• 37:38Speaker 05

  Cool to fly, wouldn't it?

• 37:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:39Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 37:40Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, you are, you are.

• 37:42Speaker 00

  But you have to do everything else, everything else is an eagle. What I think you think is gonna happen is you'd be like, oh, I'm flying. Oh, this is cool. I think you think you'd be Ben as an eagle, but you'd just, you would just be an eagle. You get that, right?

• 37:55Speaker 05

  I'd be an eagle, but I could still be here and hang you out.

• 37:58Speaker 00

  I don't think, I mean,

• 38:01Speaker 00

  I don't think there's, there's very little evidence of that. You know what I mean? You don't see animals turning up because they remember something from, like, if an eagle flew in here, we're not gonna go, oh, that must be Ben.

• 38:14Speaker 00

  Shall we get the eagle to play in the next voice note?

• 38:18Speaker 00

  I think we'd all go, fucking hell, what the fuck's an eagle doing here? Time for another email. Hi all. I'm a huge fan of the show, Romesh and Shanti. You are both, uh, sorry. I'm a huge fan of the show, Romesh and Shanti. You're both hilarious and wise beyond your years. I'm hoping you can, I'm hoping, what's happened to my reading skills?

• 38:38Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 38:38Speaker 00

  Fucking, I would have lost the championship if it had been today. Lost my ability to read. Oh my god, imagine if this is how, you know, obviously, I'm, we're gonna start fading, aren't we? At this, like, the podcasts are gonna start getting worse, aren't they? Maybe this is the beginning of the decline, pardon?

• 38:53Speaker 01

  When you did so many things when you were twenty five, you won't be able to do it now.

• 38:58Speaker 00

  No, absolutely.

• 38:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, you are. So gradually, everything goes down.

• 39:02Speaker 00

  What happened to me the other day? I went out for dinner with Lisa and the kids.

• 39:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:06Speaker 00

  I, even with my glasses on, I'm, it's too dark for me to read the fucking menu. Is anyone else having this? I can't read the goddamn menu. Oh my god, no, but restaurants' lighting. No, but the kids had no problem. And Theo said to me, Dad, promise me you're not gonna put the torch on your phone. He said, I can't bear it if you do that. So then I just, well, I ended up ordering a steak. Um, I'm a huge fan of the show, Romesh and Shanti. You are both hilarious and wise beyond your years. I'm hoping you'd give me some advice or at least help me make light of this situation. A few weeks ago, myself and my partner dropped our two year old son off with my mum and stepdad for a rare sleepover. All seemed to be going well until the next morning I got a text from my mum saying that they have cut my son's hair and it went wrong.

• 39:52Speaker 00

  For context, he had beautiful, quite long floppy hair and was booked in for a trim two days after the sleepover. My mum and stepdad were both aware of this. This is wild. My mum had told my stepdad he could trim the very ends of my son's hair and I wouldn't even have noticed if it had gone to plan. However, my stepdad apparently moonlights as Edward Scissorhands, he'd absolutely butchered the haircut. Their apologies are very weak and defensive. Highlights include, highlights, I'm just kidding. Highlights include it will grow back its only hair. I've since taken my son to the hairdresser to try and get it sorted out, but some pieces are so short and even, they couldn't even make it look good. Fuck. Which brings me to my question. How do I move on from this? I've left, lost all trust in my mum and stepdad in caring for my son.

• 40:34Speaker 00

  This isn't the first time they've overruled my wishes and made decisions they have no right to make. I hate being on bad terms with family, but I'm just so angry about this. I'm not bloody surprised. I know it's only hair, but my son is autistic and already stands out as different from the other children due to his behaviour. Now he also has bad hair. My mum does a lot for my son in terms of childcare, so I feel guilty for being angry, but I just can't seem to forgive. Lots of love, Judy. Mum, what do you think?

• 41:01Speaker 01

  If it looks very untidy, the best thing to do is shave it off.

• 41:05Speaker 00

  Okay, I don't think they're asking for advice.

• 41:07Speaker 01

  What else can you do? You don't want other children humiliating him.

• 41:11Speaker 00

  Okay, but I think what they.

• 41:12Speaker 01

  Bald head will look nice.

• 41:14Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 41:14Speaker 01

  If you have a sweet face.

• 41:15Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 41:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:16Speaker 00

  But I think what they're, what she's saying is she's really angry with her mum and stepdad.

• 41:20Speaker 01

  What are you going to do if you're angry with them? How can, you want to punish them? No. They made a mistake. Just forgive them.

• 41:29Speaker 00

  I, okay, I I do sort of agree with that advice, but this sounds like, and by the way, I'm extrapolating this from the email. This sounds like something they kind of do a lot. Like, it it it's, they've overruled, they know that he's gonna have a haircut in a couple of days. And they've decided to do this against Judy's wishes. That feels a bit, like, that's not an innocent mistake.

• 41:52Speaker 01

  It's your mum and dad, darling. So, I mean, they love the grandchild, so they won't do anything wrong. They told, just give it a try and it went wrong.

• 42:03Speaker 00

  I think a lot of these things are.

• 42:05Speaker 01

  Don't take it so seriously.

• 42:07Speaker 00

  I think it is serious, actually. But I wonder if we, if we go back a step.

• 42:11Speaker 01

  If Romesh had left the grandchildren with you. Yeah. And said, they're gonna get their, they're going for a haircut in a couple of days.

• 42:21Speaker 01

  Would you, would you then cut their hair? No.

• 42:25Speaker 00

  No.

• 42:25Speaker 01

  No way I will do.

• 42:26Speaker 00

  Okay, so we're, we agree it's a crime.

• 42:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, it is, it is a crime, but no point to, just stop talking to the parents.

• 42:34Speaker 00

  I, I, I think if you do drop your kids off at your, at their grandparents. As, as, for a reason, as, what I mean by that is they're doing you a favour, you have to accept some transgressions, right? I think to drop your kids off at your, at their grandparents and expect them to parent them exactly how you would. I actually think is sort of unreasonable. Things like that, little things were like, giving them too, I don't know, giving them the wrong food or keeping them up too late.

• 43:00Speaker 01

  Denise accused me of, I'm giving too much sugar, there you are.

• 43:03Speaker 00

  Look, that's for you guys to sort out, but I think that's a relatively minor transgression compared to cutting the child's hair.

• 43:10Speaker 01

  Grandpa, grandmother, they, they find it difficult to say no. But haircut, the baby wouldn't have asked for the haircut.

• 43:20Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 43:20Speaker 01

  So I don't know what made them cut his hair.

• 43:24Speaker 00

  So you agree it's out of order?

• 43:26Speaker 01

  It is out of order, I'm not saying it's the right thing to do, forgive them, please, they made a mistake. That's the human nature, just forgive them.

• 43:35Speaker 00

  Yeah, I, I, I agree with forgive them, but I think that you have got yourself, you're in a situation where your mum thought that was okay to do, and she thought that would be all right. So what that suggests to me is that your expectations and her expectations of what she's allowed to do are different. And so, first of all, you have to explain. You have, I, I would talk to them about it and explain why you thought that was out of order, which it was. And then, if you are gonna leave them there again, they have to be crystal clear on what, what that means. And what they're allowed to do and what they're not allowed to do. Because they obviously thought that wasn't a big deal and it's a huge deal. So there's a, a miscommunication there. So you, what you wanna do is you wanna

• 44:19Speaker 00

  I, I would express my upset about that, your concern. And then if you do wanna keep leaving, you know, having them look after them. You have to be a bit more explicit about what that, what that means in terms of expectations, to try and clear that up. I hope that helps. Okay. We've covered the whole gamut this week, haven't we? Haircuts, balls on arses, gym etiquette, reincarnation. Those are all the key topics that Spotify asked us to cover.

• 44:51Speaker 00

  And that's all we've got time for. Please do join us on Monday. Who've we got on? You'll have to tune in to find out.

• 44:57Speaker 01

  Yay.

• 44:58Speaker 00

  See you next time. Say bye mum.

• 45:01Speaker 01

  Bye.

• 45:04Speaker 00

  Suck it. Thank you so much for watching and listening to this episode. Before you go, if you've enjoyed this episode and you've not subscribed. That's a bold decision, crazy behaviour. Follow and subscribe to the Romesh Wang and Ethan Show wherever you listen. It helps me. Really, like, really helps me, it helps the team, and it costs you absolutely nothing. We drop episodes every Monday and Thursday. Mondays I'm joined by great guests, Thursdays my mum Shadi joins me to answer your questions and family dilemmas. We'll see you Monday with another great guest and back here with mum on Thursday. If you've got a problem you want to solve or a story you wanna share, send it to [email protected]. Voice note or text us on 07731 623355.

• 45:48Speaker 00

  We can't promise good advice, but you might end up on the show. See you soon.

• 45:53Speaker 01

  Oh, shut up, Romesh.

• 45:56Speaker 02

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