Pod Insights The Romesh Ranganathan Show Growing Up With An Eye Condition & Can Vegans Do This? About this episode Can Shanthi solve your life problems... and give you the perfect masala dosa recipe?
Shanthi's back answering your questions, but not before revealing the mantras she lives by, how she rebuilt her happiness and why staying busy is the secret to a good life.
Elsewhere, Romesh shares the advice he'd give his younger self, Shanthi teaches us how to make her famous masala dosa, and the listener dilemmas spiral from awkward parenting moments to one of the strangest vegan questions we've ever received.
A Ranga Bee Production in partnership with Platform.
Chapters
00:00 Intro
00:39 Mantras and happiness
03:16 Romesh explains Alice And Steve
05:26 Answering your questions
10:41 Shanthi’s Masala Dosa recipe
12:27 Romesh’s advice to his younger self
16:09 Awkward parent questions
23:44 A sausage sucking question
29:12 Outro
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Transcript 0:00 Speaker 00 Do you know what I'm gonna do?
0:00 Speaker 01 Go on.
0:01 Speaker 00 I'm actually gonna do this in a nice tone. I'm actually gonna be a bit more sedate, seriously.
0:06 Speaker 02 More low energy?
0:09 Speaker 00 Not low energy, but just like, yeah, actually, that's what sedate means, isn't it? But I mean, like, I'm doing a TV show.
0:13 Speaker 01 Mm, like daytime.
0:14 Speaker 00 Yeah, like daytime. Hello and welcome to the Romesh Ranga Nathan Show, the Thursday edition. Every Thursday, we chat about Monday's episode and answer your questions and dilemmas, whatever they may be. And I'm here with this legend, Shanti Ranganathan.
0:31 Speaker 00 How are you today, Mum?
0:32 Speaker 03 I'm fine, Derek. Thank you. Thanks for asking. You're so sweet.
0:36 Speaker 00 No problem at all.
0:37 Speaker 03 Okay.
0:38 Speaker 00 Uh, Mum, I noticed you're wearing the, the little prayer beads.
0:42 Speaker 03 Yeah.
0:43 Speaker 00 You got that idea from me, didn't you?
0:44 Speaker 03 Definitely, yes. Yes. I was waiting for you to buy a, that thing that you're...
0:50 Speaker 00 Do you know what's happened? I've lost mine.
0:52 Speaker 03 How?
0:52 Speaker 00 I'm devastated. I don't know.
0:54 Speaker 03 So good for you.
0:55 Speaker 00 And then I woke up in the morning.
0:57 Speaker 03 Hundred and eight beads here.
0:58 Speaker 00 Yeah, I had a hundred.
0:59 Speaker 03 I, I know, I know all the mantras.
1:02 Speaker 00 So can you explain for the listeners and viewers?
1:05 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:05 Speaker 00 What a mantra is, please?
1:07 Speaker 03 Om Bhur Bhuvahah.
1:09 Speaker 00 Explain what it is, not give one.
1:11 Speaker 03 You want to calm yourself down. You can say that for hundred and eight times.
1:16 Speaker 00 Yeah, so the beads are to help you count the number of times you say it.
1:19 Speaker 03 To count how many times. If it is in my hand, I can take that off.
1:22 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:23 Speaker 03 And I count them. Early morning I do.
1:25 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:25 Speaker 03 Soon after I have a bath and everything.
1:27 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:27 Speaker 03 Uh, to keep my heart happy. There's another mantra my grandfather told me.
1:33 Speaker 00 Mm-hmm.
1:34 Speaker 03 I say that hundred and eight times.
1:35 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:36 Speaker 03 So then the other one I read is Hanuman Chalisa.
1:42 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:43 Speaker 03 That to protect everyone I know in this world.
1:46 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:47 Speaker 03 So he will look after them.
1:49 Speaker 00 Very nice. And, um, how is life treating you?
1:53 Speaker 03 Life is, I can't complain. I'm happy. I'm...
1:56 Speaker 00 Scale of naught to ten, how happy are you?
1:58 Speaker 03 Hundred percent, I'm...
1:59 Speaker 00 Hundred percent?
2:00 Speaker 03 Yes.
2:00 Speaker 00 Out of ten?
2:01 Speaker 03 Yes, I'm happy. I, I used to be ten, ten, ten out of ten.
2:05 Speaker 00 You used to be ten out of ten?
2:06 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah. Uh, when Ranga passed away, your dad.
2:12 Speaker 00 Yeah.
2:12 Speaker 03 I was upset. I didn't know what to do, how to occupy myself. And gradually, I, I started to learn to be happy.
2:22 Speaker 03 You don't need it.
2:22 Speaker 00 I was very worried about you after dad passed away for obvious reasons, but also you started to become, you became a bit of a shut in.
2:28 Speaker 03 Yeah.
2:28 Speaker 00 You weren't going out very much.
2:30 Speaker 03 No.
2:30 Speaker 00 Now, pilates, the gym.
2:32 Speaker 03 Gym.
2:33 Speaker 00 Coffee mornings.
2:35 Speaker 03 Lunch.
2:35 Speaker 00 Lunch, dinner.
2:37 Speaker 03 All ladies, not men.
2:39 Speaker 00 All ladies, no men.
2:40 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah.
2:41 Speaker 00 So.
2:41 Speaker 03 Any chance that I can go for coffee, I'll go and have a lovely chat.
2:45 Speaker 00 Lovely.
2:46 Speaker 03 And maybe I'm your mother.
2:49 Speaker 00 Maybe you're my mother. Good point.
2:52 Speaker 03 So they invite me, I don't know.
2:55 Speaker 00 Yeah.
2:55 Speaker 03 I really don't know.
2:57 Speaker 00 I think I would go as far to say, and I don't want to overstate the mark, definitely you're my mother.
3:13 Speaker 03 With me, Shanti.
3:16 Speaker 00 Okay, on Monday's ep, we had Kiwi actor and comedian Jermaine Clement on. He starred in movies and TV shows. I was promoting a brilliant new show called Alice and Steve, where he gets together with the grown up daughter of his best friend.
3:30 Speaker 03 Yeah, you are my best friend.
3:32 Speaker 00 No, I don't think you're. So Alice and Steve, he, Steve gets together with Alice's daughter.
3:38 Speaker 03 Okay.
3:39 Speaker 00 So they're both kind of my age.
3:41 Speaker 03 All right.
3:42 Speaker 00 Late forties, early fifties.
3:43 Speaker 03 Fifties, yeah.
3:44 Speaker 00 She's got a twenty six year old daughter.
3:46 Speaker 03 Okay.
3:46 Speaker 00 And Steve, her friend, ends up sleeping with the daughter and they start a relationship. What do you think of that?
3:51 Speaker 03 I don't like it. Why? Can't you find somebody else?
3:56 Speaker 00 That's what she says, that's what Alice says. Uh, it is a great show though. Uh, Mum, it's time for, we need a better name for this.
4:04 Speaker 02 Hmm, for what?
4:06 Speaker 00 Audience interaction.
4:08 Speaker 02 Um.
4:10 Speaker 00 Let's workshop it now.
4:11 Speaker 02 Okay.
4:12 Speaker 00 Um. Any suggestions? There's no bad ideas.
4:14 Speaker 02 Audience dilemmas.
4:16 Speaker 00 Hmm, I mean, it's better than audience interaction, I don't know.
4:19 Speaker 02 Voice of the people, um, uh.
4:22 Speaker 01 Shanti's postbox.
4:23 Speaker 00 How dare you?
4:24 Speaker 02 Inside Shanti's postbox.
4:31 Speaker 03 My postbox is fine, Ali.
4:41 Speaker 03 Oh my.
4:47 Speaker 03 There we go, we've got one. I don't mind.
4:50 Speaker 00 I think audience interaction is fine.
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5:56 Speaker 05 Fall never arrives all at once. First the air, then the light. And slowly, the things you love begin to find each other. A jacket meets a dress. A hoodie slips beneath a blazer. An old cap finds a new scarf. Because you don't simply step into the season. You create it, layer by layer, until it finally feels like fall. Find fall your way at Ross.
6:24 Speaker 00 Thank you for all your messages and voice notes. You can send us a text or voice note to 07731623355, or email at [email protected] . And don't forget, if you haven't already, please like and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, any platform, be it...
6:41 Speaker 03 Facebook, Instagram, TikTok.
6:43 Speaker 00 Yeah, any of those.
6:45 Speaker 03 What's that other one?
6:47 Speaker 00 Snapchat.
6:47 Speaker 03 Snapchat.
6:48 Speaker 00 Yeah, any of those.
6:49 Speaker 03 Any of those.
6:49 Speaker 00 We're on all of those platforms now.
6:52 Speaker 03 I hope they check it properly.
6:54 Speaker 00 Yeah, please do check. Our first message is an email from Lindsay. I'll read it out for you.
7:00 Speaker 03 Yeah.
7:01 Speaker 00 Hello, love the show. My message is for Shanti. I have a daughter who's now 12, who has a similar eye condition to Romesh. How did you raise him to be confident? My daughter is very funny, but I can't, I can see her start to get annoyed and not being like everyone else and not being symmetrical. Also, I mean, this is a roller coaster of an email. Also, do you have a go to recipe for masala dosa?
7:26 Speaker 03 Is that say there?
7:30 Speaker 00 Sadly, we haven't been to Sri Lanka, but we travelled around India for six months. We loved the food in Kerala where we discovered dosa. Thank you, Lindsay. Um, Lindsay, I would, just a little thing, just stick to one topic on this.
7:45 Speaker 00 What, what, I mean, how are we gonna do this answer? This is how to bring up your daughter. This is how you make masala dosa. Uh, mum, how did you navigate my eye situation growing up?
7:54 Speaker 03 Eye situation, honestly, God, I didn't realise. And when you went for a checkup, listen, it wasn't that bad. No, you suddenly you had this from me.
8:05 Speaker 00 Yeah, I'm listening.
8:07 Speaker 03 And Auntie Rebecca said, we, you have to, can you please stop doing that?
8:16 Speaker 03 Um, I check up and everything.
8:19 Speaker 00 Yeah.
8:19 Speaker 03 And then only I started to notice when you were 11, 10, 11, you didn't have this, da.
8:27 Speaker 00 No.
8:28 Speaker 03 When you were a baby, you didn't have this.
8:29 Speaker 00 No.
8:31 Speaker 03 This is, this is ridiculous, this is.
8:34 Speaker 00 Anyway, go on, sorry.
8:36 Speaker 03 Yeah, suddenly it started to come. You went for, they didn't do anything.
8:39 Speaker 00 When I was 10 or 11, I did have this.
8:42 Speaker 03 You did have it?
8:42 Speaker 00 Yeah.
8:43 Speaker 03 But why the doctors, when you went for your eye checkup, to school, you go, they never did anything.
8:50 Speaker 00 Mum, I remember when I was a kid, opticians were always talking about it.
8:53 Speaker 03 So why didn't they do something? Why didn't they call me and advise me? What kind of obsticians are they?
9:00 Speaker 00 Well, well, we did.
9:02 Speaker 03 Your son, I never heard them saying to me, your son got this condition and we can correct it. And you do this. I I never heard anything from anybody.
9:12 Speaker 00 Okay. So.
9:14 Speaker 03 That's ignorant, they are.
9:15 Speaker 00 Okay, so enough about the ignorant doctors.
9:18 Speaker 03 Not doctors, obsticians.
9:20 Speaker 00 How did you deal with?
9:21 Speaker 03 It, I felt sad in a way. I mean, you are a good looking boy. Why he got this? And but it's getting better now.
9:31 Speaker 00 I think so.
9:37 Speaker 03 This is what I'm saying, John. I don't know whether you're joking. Why you say?
9:42 Speaker 00 I think it's getting better.
9:45 Speaker 00 I think in the next couple of years, we won't be able to tell.
9:57 Speaker 00 Um, I don't know if you're that equipped to deal with this question, Mum, because what Lindsay's saying is, is that she's worried about her daughter and her. My, the, the, the, the way that my mum brought me up was to not really talk about it. She, you know, she kind of. You know, we, we. We didn't really talk about it at home.
10:18 Speaker 03 Talk about it.
10:18 Speaker 00 Mum would just always go, you're such handsome boys, but, but I did get shit at school. I did. And so then.
10:26 Speaker 00 You know, I, I remember when I, particularly when I got to secondary school, I got absolutely like. Yeah, I don't, I'm not trying to put the frighteners up you, but I did get, I think children have changed now. I sort of look at my kids. You know, I've got children around the, the age of, of your daughter and, um. I don't think kids would be like that now. I listen to, to what they're saying. It was a bit different when I was like, back when I was a kid. I used to get shit about it, but actually, one of the things I've said multiple times, I wouldn't have been a comedian if I didn't have this eye. Because I feel like it's sort of, I, I end up trying to. Sort of come up with a self defence mechanism of humour. And it's almost like my skills got sharpened up. And I I think that's part of it, but I'm not saying that's a good reason.
11:08 Speaker 00 But I think what you have to do is, in my opinion, is make your daughter feel loved. Make her realise that actually, in reality, this is not a huge deal. You can live, you're very lucky to be able to live a normal life. And and and actually, it doesn't affect you. The only reason it affects you is because of your perception of what people think about you. But if somebody is gonna judge you because of your eye, then I don't think those people should be in your life. Do you know what I mean? But people that are actually worth caring about and worth your time sort of don't care about those sort of things. So yeah, I I don't want to make you think that nobody's ever gonna make your daughter feel funny about her eyes.
11:46 Speaker 00 She will have moments where, because you know, we're so, she's about to enter the age where you sort of feel so self conscious about your identity and how you look and all of those things. And there'll be times when she wishes she doesn't have an eye like that. But I I love it. It's part of me now. It's always been a part of me. But, you know, I I it's it's it's totally fine. And she will be, you know, she'll be how you bring her up to be. So try not to worry too much. Mum, masala dosa.
12:14 Speaker 03 How can I say, give the recipe over the phone?
12:16 Speaker 00 Is that, we're not on the phone, are we?
12:18 Speaker 03 No, no, sorry, on the podcast.
12:19 Speaker 00 Yeah.
12:20 Speaker 03 It's a big preparation.
12:22 Speaker 00 Okay, well, just give me the bullet points.
12:24 Speaker 03 The recipe?
12:25 Speaker 00 Yeah, just.
12:27 Speaker 03 One cup of uridal.
12:29 Speaker 00 Uridal.
12:30 Speaker 03 Two cups of rice.
12:32 Speaker 00 Write this down, Lindsay, yeah, two cups of rice.
12:34 Speaker 03 And one tablespoon of fenugreek seed.
12:40 Speaker 00 Fenugreek seeds.
12:41 Speaker 03 Yeah, soak them overnight.
12:42 Speaker 00 Soak them overnight.
12:43 Speaker 03 Grind it.
12:44 Speaker 00 Grind it.
12:44 Speaker 03 Soon after it's soaked.
12:45 Speaker 00 What are you using to grind it, Mum?
12:47 Speaker 03 Liquidiser.
12:47 Speaker 00 Liquidiser, so liquidise it.
12:49 Speaker 03 Grind it and because it's a cold country, you have to keep it in the airing cupboard to ferment it.
12:57 Speaker 00 Yeah, ferment.
12:58 Speaker 03 It will come up rice, yeah.
13:01 Speaker 00 Yeah.
13:01 Speaker 03 And then the morning, you mix it up, add salt.
13:04 Speaker 00 Then you've got your batter.
13:06 Speaker 03 Get batter, ready? Make a coconut chutney. I don't have to give you the recipe, you can find out on.
13:13 Speaker 00 Yeah, I mean, you can Google all of this, but.
13:15 Speaker 03 Of course.
13:16 Speaker 00 Yeah.
13:16 Speaker 03 Then uh you find a round.
13:19 Speaker 00 Pan?
13:21 Speaker 03 Pan, like, I can't use my pan because you you gave me a lovely kitchen with the induction hot.
13:30 Speaker 00 Oh.
13:30 Speaker 03 So you have to have a special pan, but if you have a gas cooker, put the that flat pan and.
13:36 Speaker 00 Sorry for giving you an induction.
13:37 Speaker 03 Put sesame oil on the top, pour the batter properly and it'll come off.
13:43 Speaker 00 You can use the back, you can use the back of a ladle to spread it all out.
13:48 Speaker 03 To make it into a round.
13:49 Speaker 00 Yeah.
13:50 Speaker 03 Thing, yeah, that's it.
13:52 Speaker 00 There you go. Dosa and eyes done. Uh next up, we've got a voice note from Tom.
13:59 Speaker 06 Hi, Romesh, Shanti and the team. I love listening to your podcast every week, Monday and especially Thursday because I love Shanti moaning at Romesh for not seeing her enough. Uh but a quick question to Romesh. Romesh, if you were to go back fifty or so years to when you was ten, what advice would your current self scream at that ten year old boy? And the question to Shanti is, what do you miss about ten year old Romesh? Thank you.
14:26 Speaker 00 Sorry, Tom. Are you under the impression that fifty years ago I'd have been ten?
14:37 Speaker 00 Tom, I'm waiting for an answer.
14:39 Speaker 03 Thirty eight years ago.
14:41 Speaker 00 Pardon? Yes, very good. Um I would have been minus two, brother, because I'm forty eight. Best years behind me, ready to quit. But uh what would I say to my ten year old? Just wait another twenty years, you're gonna lose your virginity.
15:00 Speaker 00 Actually, do you know what? Based on what actually happened in my life, uh I know you think things are smooth now. It's about to get real fucked up.
15:08 Speaker 00 Muckle up and settle in for about a decade of turmoil. That's probably what I'd say to my ten year old self. And I'd be more encouraging than that. Uh what was Tom's question to mum?
15:19 Speaker 06 And the question to Shanti is, what do you miss about ten year old Romesh?
15:23 Speaker 00 What do you miss about ten year old?
15:25 Speaker 03 Miss about ten year old.
15:26 Speaker 00 Yeah.
15:27 Speaker 03 Uh, the ten year old boy, he used to hang around with me all the time, everything mum, mum, mum, mum, can he make this mum, can he buy this mum. Then when he reached fifteen year old and he came and said, um, give us the cash mum, uh, we'll buy our own clothes. That's it, big hit for me. He meant, like, I was shocked. But gradually, he started to change, like he'd become independent. So that's also nice. But the little boy who used to hang around with me all the time, I miss him so much. I do.
16:06 Speaker 00 Yeah, yeah, yeah, sad. Uh, thank you, Tom. How old do you think Tom is, based on his voice note, by the way?
16:14 Speaker 01 Oh, let's have a go, shall we?
16:16 Speaker 03 Thirty-one?
16:16 Speaker 06 I listen to podcasts every week, Monday and especially Thursday, because I love Shanty Mullen at Robesh for not seeing her enough.
16:24 Speaker 00 I reckon he's
16:25 Speaker 02 Early twenties.
16:26 Speaker 00 Yeah.
16:26 Speaker 01 Early twenties. Yeah, I was going, I'm going mid twenties, I was thinking twenty-five.
16:29 Speaker 00 He sounds super young.
16:30 Speaker 03 Hmm.
16:31 Speaker 00 Really young. Uh, okay, shall we go to the next one?
16:34 Speaker 02 Definitely.
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17:38 Speaker 05 Fall never arrives all at once. First the air, then the light. And slowly, the things you love begin to find each other. A jacket meets a dress, a hoodie slips beneath a blazer, an old cap finds a new scarf. Because you don't simply step into the season. You create it, layer by layer, until it finally feels like fall. Find fall your way at Ross.
18:09 Speaker 00 This is a voice note from Dan in Nottingham.
18:11 Speaker 07 Hi, Roman Shanty. It's Dan from Nottingham. I love you both. So my question is, what would you have done in this situation? So I took my daughter to a screening of Spider-Man: Homecoming, which we both love, by the way. Great film. But there's a scene in it where Ned, Spider-Man's friend, is in a computer room, trying to help him out by looking things up. And a teacher walks in and says, "What are you doing?" And rather than, say, helping Spider-Man in the moment, he says, "Watching porn." Which obviously got quite a big laugh in the cinema. Not, however, as big a laugh as my daughter at the top of her lungs saying, "Watch porn, Daddy." And then when that got a bigger laugh than the original joke, that became louder. And my daughter, ever the little performer, then increasingly asked this over and over
18:56 Speaker 07 again, louder and louder and louder, to the point of a man a few rows down said, "You better tell us something, mate." So in, I think I said something along the lines of, "They're films for mummies and daddies." And when that didn't work, I gave him my popcorn. So, yeah, I just wondered what you guys would have done in that situation. Love you both. Thank you.
19:16 Speaker 00 Love you too, Dan. I would say describing porn as films for mummies and daddies is an interesting description. Um, that's difficult. Porn.
19:26 Speaker 03 I will tell her the truth.
19:28 Speaker 00 I'd love you to.
19:29 Speaker 03 If I had a daughter.
19:30 Speaker 00 Okay. So can we, let's see. What's porn? I'm gonna be the kid.
19:34 Speaker 03 There we go.
19:35 Speaker 00 Okay, ready? Uh, can you drop us into a cinema, Will? Yep. Okay. "Ma'am, mommy, what's porn? Ned said porn. What's porn?"
19:46 Speaker 03 You don't need to know that now. In three years' time, I'll explain everything to you. So, that's a horrible word. You don't want to know.
19:57 Speaker 00 What is porn, though?
19:59 Speaker 03 The porn is how people make love.
20:08 Speaker 03 Okay.
20:09 Speaker 00 What do you mean?
20:10 Speaker 03 Because you are pestering me.
20:11 Speaker 00 What's making love?
20:14 Speaker 03 Making babies?
20:15 Speaker 00 What's that?
20:16 Speaker 03 Do you know how to make babies?
20:17 Speaker 00 No.
20:18 Speaker 03 No.
20:19 Speaker 00 How do you do it?
20:20 Speaker 03 That's the porn.
20:22 Speaker 00 So what's porn?
20:23 Speaker 03 To get into, get into mood.
20:25 Speaker 00 It's a mood?
20:27 Speaker 03 You put the porn, yeah.
20:27 Speaker 00 You put the porn to get into-
20:28 Speaker 03 Then make the babies.
20:29 Speaker 00 So you, what is, how do you make the babies?
20:33 Speaker 03 That I can't explain.
20:34 Speaker 00 So what's porn?
20:35 Speaker 03 You have to wait for another three years to find out.
20:37 Speaker 00 What's porn?
20:38 Speaker 03 Porn? Porn?
20:43 Speaker 03 Porn is porn, my dear.
20:45 Speaker 00 Yeah, what is that?
20:46 Speaker 03 Get people into mood.
20:48 Speaker 00 How? How, mummy? What do you mean?
20:51 Speaker 03 Will you shut up?
20:55 Speaker 00 What is it, though? What is it?
20:57 Speaker 03 That's all the information I can give you at the moment. You have to be patient in a three years' time. I'll tell you everything.
21:06 Speaker 00 Okay. End scene, next scene. Three years later. Mummy?
21:13 Speaker 00 Three years ago, you said to me you'd explain what porn is. So what is it?
21:18 Speaker 03 The man did get into the vagina. That is porn.
21:27 Speaker 00 The man what?
21:28 Speaker 03 Get into the vagina.
21:29 Speaker 00 The man gets into the vagina?
21:31 Speaker 03 Into the vagina, yeah.
21:34 Speaker 00 Porn is when a man gets into the vagina.
21:36 Speaker 03 What else?
21:38 Speaker 00 It seems too small. It seems too small.
21:40 Speaker 03 You do a lot of noise.
21:41 Speaker 00 It seems too s- So the man gets into, the man gets into vagina and goes, huh he he.
21:47 Speaker 03 Gets into vagina.
21:48 Speaker 00 His dick?
21:49 Speaker 03 Yeah.
21:52 Speaker 00 His dick gets into the vagina? Mum, okay, end scene. Mum? What the fuck?
22:00 Speaker 03 Because what is porn?
22:02 Speaker 00 Yeah, I'm playing the kid.
22:03 Speaker 03 What the hell did you say?
22:04 Speaker 00 Uh, Dan, I, well, how the hell does Dan deal with this?
22:10 Speaker 03 I don't think she screamed, what is porn?
22:13 Speaker 00 Well, he just said that she did.
22:14 Speaker 03 Oh, he, if he doesn't want her to know, you misunderstood, my dear, it's a corn. That's it.
22:22 Speaker 00 So you, you, you want, you want her to believe that Ned said, I'm watching corn?
22:29 Speaker 02 I had, I think that's not bad. I, I would, I don't think that's bad.
22:33 Speaker 03 It's happened to me when I went to buy Christmas tree, Christmas tree.
22:37 Speaker 00 You will, you will justify and defend anything, won't you?
22:40 Speaker 02 I think I would do, I actually would probably do.
22:42 Speaker 03 She wants a satisfied answer.
22:44 Speaker 02 Yeah.
22:44 Speaker 03 No, he's talking about corn. She's, they will shut up.
22:47 Speaker 02 Like corn on the cob or.
22:49 Speaker 01 I, I, I think doesn't the child want, they want, so firstly, everyone else has understood a joke they don't get. So they're like, they wanna know what's funny.
22:57 Speaker 03 I said, not in a nasty way that girl asked.
23:00 Speaker 02 Hmm.
23:00 Speaker 03 Inclusive.
23:01 Speaker 00 Yeah.
23:02 Speaker 03 Hmm, that's all.
23:03 Speaker 02 It's a very silly thing to watch corn.
23:05 Speaker 03 Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
23:06 Speaker 01 Yeah.
23:07 Speaker 02 So that's the joke.
23:08 Speaker 01 Yeah, which would look slightly, if I'm a kid, I'm going.
23:11 Speaker 00 You work in comedy, right?
23:13 Speaker 02 Yeah, I know. I'm not saying I would write that as a gag. I'm saying you didn't probably, like that would, that, I think that's good.
23:18 Speaker 00 What?
23:19 Speaker 01 I think it's like you've got, the, the kid wants the like, at least a kind of, the, the, the like salacious thing that feels naughty. That's, it's like, what's the naughty thing everyone's laughing at? And you could literally say, like, it's photos of boobies. And they'd be like, oh, right. Yeah, fair enough.
23:34 Speaker 00 It's not a bad shot.
23:35 Speaker 02 It depends how old your daughter is.
23:37 Speaker 01 True.
23:38 Speaker 03 How did you learn how to do it?
23:40 Speaker 00 Do what?
23:42 Speaker 03 Whatever.
23:45 Speaker 00 How did I learn how to do it?
23:47 Speaker 03 You watch porn movies, isn't it?
23:49 Speaker 00 Well, that, that, that, you, you, hitting on a bigger problem here, which is a lot of young people are learning how to have sex from watching porn. It's a big problem, but we haven't got time, you know, we just did it with Dan's Nottingham voice note.
23:59 Speaker 03 You know the guy who's.
24:02 Speaker 00 Um.
24:03 Speaker 03 You just go.
24:06 Speaker 00 This is not the podcast to engage with that.
24:09 Speaker 01 It's a big conversation.
24:10 Speaker 03 No, you have to give him an answer.
24:11 Speaker 00 I think, I, I, look, my in, inclination would be, I, I actually don't, I think, I think the corn thing isn't bad, but I think I would make up something. I think, John, you're close, you'd say it's like a, I don't know, a rude, or it's a, you know, it's, it's a thing that he shouldn't be watching. It's like a rude film that he shouldn't be watching. And then don't go into any further details. Part of the problem is of.
24:35 Speaker 00 You know, if you say corn, then what you don't want is her to then use porn and corn into like, you know, interchange those words. She's clearly, she's clearly heard him say porn and asked repeatedly porn, right? And they're laughing. And so now, then you go, what, what's porn? And then you go, it's corn.
24:55 Speaker 02 Yeah. And they thought you were saying corn.
24:58 Speaker 00 But what, but what's he saying then, Ben?
25:01 Speaker 06 Yeah.
25:01 Speaker 01 It feels like gaslighting your child.
25:03 Speaker 00 Yeah, I, I think that's a slippery slope. We should have gone off and finding porn. But I, I, I, I, I think, I think that's, you're getting yourself into a whole load of shit there. Which can also happen in porn.
25:20 Speaker 00 But I think you're vague. Being vague is probably the solution, I think. I would go the other way and I'd, I'd go, look, here's a VPN. It's difficult to access it now. You don't want to have to take a photo of your driving licence just to fucking rub one out. So pretend you're in Canada and watch some porn. But that's just me. Uh, this is an email from Lupin. Oh, it might be Lupin. He's an email from Lupin. Dear Romesh, please say happy birthday to my friend. Hmm.
25:54 Speaker 00 Please say happy birthday to my friend Monf.
25:58 Speaker 01 We might have to put that up on the screen.
26:00 Speaker 00 Yeah. Dear Romesh, please say happy birthday to my friend Monf. He is thirty two years old today and a big fan of your show, like you is a vegan. However, sometimes he sucks on sausages to get the flavour.
26:13 Speaker 00 But then his wife, who is not a vegan, will eat them.
26:18 Speaker 00 We've tried to explain this is not vegan practice, but he says it's because he doesn't actually eat any of the sausage. Please give me advice if this is true. Well, I don't know if it's true if he doesn't actually eat any of the sausage. Many thanks, Lupin. What do you think, Mum? His Monf is, is sucking on sausages and then passing them to his wife?
26:36 Speaker 00 I can't believe I'm saying these words out loud.
26:39 Speaker 03 Why does he suck up the sausage?
26:41 Speaker 00 What?
26:44 Speaker 00 Month is vegan.
26:46 Speaker 03 Yeah.
26:47 Speaker 00 Sucking on a sausage and passing it to his wife who then eats them. And he's saying that's vegan friendly.
26:55 Speaker 03 I I don't like this question there.
26:57 Speaker 00 Okay.
26:58 Speaker 03 So I I skip it.
26:59 Speaker 00 Yeah, that's good. You know what? Whenever you wanna skip, that's great for the podcast. Just so you know. Uh, Month, what the fuck are you doing, bro?
27:07 Speaker 03 Yeah.
27:09 Speaker 00 You're you are you are taking on board meat particles.
27:13 Speaker 03 Wash it and give it to her, okay?
27:15 Speaker 00 He's not sucking it to clean it.
27:17 Speaker 02 You're allowed to smell it, aren't you?
27:19 Speaker 00 You're still taking in particles.
27:20 Speaker 02 Yeah.
27:21 Speaker 00 I I would argue smelling a sausage.
27:24 Speaker 02 Do you put your hands over your nose?
27:26 Speaker 00 I don't, no, if I'm around sausages. I I I'm not gonna hold my nose, but I'm also not gonna do a line of it. Do you do you mean?
27:35 Speaker 02 Did you like the smell?
27:37 Speaker 00 No. Well, I I did used to. When I first went veggie and vegan. I did like the smell of like meat cooking, but I don't know what's happened, but now as it's gone on longer and longer. Now I don't really like it at all. I'll tell you, the the one exception to that, bacon.
27:54 Speaker 02 Would you ever lick bacon?
27:55 Speaker 00 Would I ever lick bacon?
27:57 Speaker 02 Or suck it.
27:58 Speaker 03 You like bacon?
27:59 Speaker 00 No, I like the smell. The smell of bacon is quite tempting, yeah. But I wouldn't eat it. But would I? I would suck on it and pass it to Lisa.
28:07 Speaker 03 No. If you do that, Romy.
28:09 Speaker 00 Hmm.
28:10 Speaker 03 You're not my son.
28:11 Speaker 00 Oh.
28:13 Speaker 03 Carl.
28:14 Speaker 00 If I sucked on bacon and passed.
28:17 Speaker 03 Sucking it and giving it to Lisa, I will I will just get up and walk off.
28:21 Speaker 00 Okay, uh, do you wanna come around this weekend?
28:28 Speaker 00 Um, Month. Uh, I don't think you should be doing that, but it's up to you. I mean, if you wanna. I if you and your wife don't mind you sucking on sausages. And then passing them to your wife, that's fine, but it's not vegan practice.
28:42 Speaker 03 Hmm.
28:42 Speaker 00 But if you wanna do that, if that's something you guys enjoy. Then feel free to do it.
28:47 Speaker 03 He can buy the flavour of. Sausage sausage flavour.
28:54 Speaker 00 Hmm.
28:55 Speaker 03 Put it on the plate and lick it. Why you suck the sausage? You can get all those kinds of sauces and flavours. This is bloody sausage.
29:04 Speaker 00 Oh, no, it's like Inuendo Bingo this, but.
29:06 Speaker 01 That's good veggie sausages now.
29:08 Speaker 00 Yeah?
29:08 Speaker 03 Yeah.
29:09 Speaker 00 Yeah, yeah, that's true, but they don't taste the same, do they? Um, yeah, I'd, I'd, it's not vegan practice, Monk. Lupin, thank you so much for your email.
29:19 Speaker 03 I found it a bit odd though.
29:21 Speaker 00 Yeah, I think we all did.
29:22 Speaker 03 He has no table manners. Learn that.
29:27 Speaker 00 Yeah, learn that, Monk.
29:28 Speaker 03 Learn that table manners, you don't suck anything in the table.
29:32 Speaker 00 No, you go under the table for that.
29:42 Speaker 02 That is the way people diet though, isn't it? They'll like lick, they'll like just have like a bit of something, a taste it and then.
29:48 Speaker 00 Yeah, I think dieting is different to veganism though.
29:52 Speaker 01 There's a lad down the road from me when we grew up and he would always get a chocolate bar and then just like suck on it, but not actually swallow it. And he'd spit it out and then he'd take off another cube and do the same.
30:01 Speaker 03 Oh.
30:03 Speaker 01 Weird guy.
30:03 Speaker 03 Why is that?
30:05 Speaker 00 Just to enjoy chocolate without eating it.
30:07 Speaker 03 Without eating it.
30:07 Speaker 00 Hmm, I need to start doing that with Percy.
30:09 Speaker 03 When I, I, I went to have lunch Monday.
30:13 Speaker 00 Yeah.
30:14 Speaker 03 I didn't read properly, quiche.
30:16 Speaker 00 Quiche, yeah.
30:17 Speaker 03 Yeah, and while I was eating, I put bacon slices inside. When I came, after, I didn't want to make a fuss front of that lady and she's eating the same. Came home, I felt sick so badly and I was so guilty, I hate that.
30:33 Speaker 03 I mean, with some pieces, I hated that smell.
30:36 Speaker 00 Mum, the Jolly Hogs sent you an entire pig and you ate that. Why, why is a couple of bits of bacon in a quiche made you feel ill?
30:45 Speaker 03 They're holy, what's that?
30:46 Speaker 00 Holy hog, yeah.
30:47 Speaker 03 Holy hog.
30:48 Speaker 00 Jolly hog.
30:48 Speaker 03 Jolly hog, whatever, whatever. They are jolly, good looking man.
30:55 Speaker 00 Okay, what about?
30:57 Speaker 03 That smells different.
30:59 Speaker 00 Right, I, I just.
31:00 Speaker 03 Beautifully made, I loved it.
31:03 Speaker 00 Okay.
31:04 Speaker 03 There you are.
31:04 Speaker 00 But the bits of bacon in the quiche made you feel.
31:06 Speaker 03 I don't know what kind of bacon, I didn't like it at all.
31:09 Speaker 00 Okay, fine, all right. It's very difficult to predict what your reaction is going to be. Thank you so much for your emails and messages. We'll be back on Monday with another exciting guest. Don't miss it. And if you haven't already, please like and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, whether that be.
31:21 Speaker 03 Email?
31:22 Speaker 00 Or.
31:26 Speaker 03 What's Instagram?
31:27 Speaker 00 Yeah.
31:28 Speaker 03 Facebook?
31:29 Speaker 00 Yeah, whether that's email or Instagram or Facebook.
31:34 Speaker 03 Send email is easier for us.
31:36 Speaker 00 Yeah, okay.
31:37 Speaker 03 Yeah? We will definitely really-
31:39 Speaker 00 Like and subscribe via email.
31:41 Speaker 03 Yeah. Please do.
31:43 Speaker 00 It'd be easier for us to keep track of who has liked or subscribed. So, [email protected] , just email like or subscribe and we will get that sorted out for you. Thank you so much for listening to the episode. It's goodbye from me.
31:58 Speaker 03 From Shanti as well. Love you all. Take care.
32:01 Speaker 00 Go suck a sausage, you bitches.
32:05 Speaker 01 Oh, you did a really nice start to the episode this time.
32:07 Speaker 00 Oh, yeah, sorry. Thank you so much for joining us.
32:09 Speaker 03 Yeah.
32:10 Speaker 00 We will see you next time for the Romesh Wang and Ethan Show with?
32:15 Speaker 03 Shanti Ranganathan.
32:16 Speaker 00 Fuck you! Thank you so much for watching and listening to this episode. Before you go, if you've enjoyed this episode and you've not subscribed, that's a bold decision, crazy behaviour. Follow and subscribe to the Romesh Wang and Ethan Show wherever you listen. It helps me, really, like, really helps me. It helps the team and it costs you absolutely nothing. We drop episodes every Monday and Thursday. Mondays, I'm joined by great guests. Thursdays, when Mum Shanti joins me to answer your questions and family dilemmas. We'll see you Monday with another great guest and back here with Mum on Thursday. If you've got a problem you want to solve or a story you want to share, send it to [email protected] ,
32:55 Speaker 00 voice note or text us on 07731 623355. We can't promise good advice, but you might end up on the show. See you soon!
33:06 Speaker 03 Oh, shut up, Romesh.
33:11 Speaker 05 Fall never arrives all at once. Burst the air, then the light. And slowly, the things you love begin to find each other. A jacket meets a dress, a hoodie slips beneath a blazer, an old cap finds a new scarf. Because you don't simply step into the season, you create it layer by layer until it finally feels like fall. Find fall your way at Ross.
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