Pod Insights The Rewatchables ‘There’s Something About Mary’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Sean Fennessey About this episode The Ringer’s Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Sean Fennessey try to figure out how Ted got the frank above the beans after rewatching the 1998 comedy classic ‘There’s Something About Mary,’ starring Ben Stiller, Cameron Diaz, and Matt Dillon.
Producers: Craig Horlbeck, Chia Hao Tat, Eduardo Ocampo, and Matt Pevic
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Transcript 21,681 words · 8 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 Bill Simmons? This episode is brought to by Angry Orchard Hard Cider. Halloween's just better with a scary movie and something good to drink. Angry Orchard's limited edition glow in the dark thriller variety pack is the perfect companion. It even includes a mystery flavor can featuring the iconic ghost face from Scream. Don't get angry, get orchard this Halloween. Find Angry Orchard in a store near you or visit angryorchard.com. Angry Orchard's cider company, LLC. Angryorchard.com. Please drink responsibly. Angry Orchard is a hard cider with other natural flavors.
0:44 Bill Simmons? The Rewatchables is brought to you by The Ringer Podcast Network, where you can find the Big Picture with Sean Fantasy, now newsletter writer.
0:51 Sean Fennessey? Yes, that's right.
0:52 Bill Simmons? Projections.
0:52 Sean Fennessey? That's right.
0:53 Bill Simmons? How's that going for you?
0:54 Sean Fennessey? Very well. As you know, writing is very easy and so it's been coming along nicely. Thank you for asking.
0:59 Bill Simmons? How much sleep have you had the last two weeks?
1:01 Sean Fennessey? I'm sleeping very well. It's the writing that is the challenge, so I'm working on it.
1:04 Chris Ryan? I offered to edit it today and he rejected that.
1:07 Bill Simmons? Did you really?
1:07 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:08 Bill Simmons? Do you have an editing team?
1:09 Sean Fennessey? Yeah, vast fleet of very skilled men and women that are working closely.
1:13 Chris Ryan? Claude, GPT.
1:15 Sean Fennessey? Yeah, all them. No, I wouldn't know.
1:17 Chris Ryan? I know, I know.
1:18 Sean Fennessey? I would never do that.
1:19 Bill Simmons? Are you gonna allow people to come in for a guest paragraph on physical media?
1:22 Sean Fennessey? This is the second time that you've asked if you can come in for a guest paragraph.
1:26 Bill Simmons? Well, that's all I'm capable of is a paragraph.
1:28 Chris Ryan? Yeah, you say that, but then you're gonna be like, actually, I just kinda let it rip.
1:31 Bill Simmons? At 5,000 words. Sierra, what are you up to? You still working?
1:35 Chris Ryan? My real passion is my hobby.
1:39 Chris Ryan? We're just working with Andy Greenwald on the watch.
1:43 Bill Simmons? Sounds great.
1:46 Bill Simmons? There's something about Mary, a classic, and it's next.
1:51 Bill Simmons? This episode is brought to you by Apple and AT&T. Scroll long enough and you'll hear it all. Miracle diets, fitness trends, you name it. But with iPhone and Apple Watch, you get meaningful insights from a very trusted source. Your body. You can track sleep quality, cardio fitness and more, then unpack all the information in the health app on iPhone to get a picture of your overall health. These health insights are developed with clinical experts from start to finish. Find out more at apple.com/health. Apple Watch is not a medical device and should not be used as a substitute for professional medical advice.
2:50 Bill Simmons? All righty. Hardest I've ever laughed in a movie theater. Mount Rushmore. Naked Gun.
2:57 Chris Ryan? Okay.
2:58 Bill Simmons? There's Something About Mary, The Hangover, and Buffalo Bill and Silence of the Lambs. That's my top four. Three of them were comedies, including this one.
3:07 Chris Ryan? Hereditary, like in the mix there at all or no?
3:16 Bill Simmons? Got it. No, those are my top four. But I saw this in the theater with my future wife and just raucous laughter. People just love this movie. And it was a phenomenon.
3:28 Sean Fennessey? How long had you guys been together when you saw this?
3:30 Bill Simmons? The first summer we were together.
3:31 Chris Ryan? Oh, wow. One of the first movies you guys saw together, probably.
3:34 Bill Simmons? Yeah, one of them.
3:34 Sean Fennessey? Did you think of it like a test in any way? Like if she likes this, we're good?
3:40 Bill Simmons? You know, I didn't think of that at the time, but I do feel like I was probably destined to be with somebody who would have laughed during a lot of this movie. Right? If you're sitting next to somebody who's like, ugh. Probably a bad sign. What about UCR? Where'd you see it?
3:54 Chris Ryan? Still one of the most memorable theater-going experiences of my life. I saw this in, I believe, in Boston. I think almost as soon as it came out and it was like, it was like watching like people go through like a religious experience, like falling into the aisles, people crying, like sodas and popcorns flying in the air. And that's that kind of two-track mind you have watching it where you're laughing at it and you're also like, I can't believe they're pulling this off or I can't believe they're going for this. So yeah, just definitely like burned into my memory.
4:25 Sean Fennessey? I vividly remember seeing it for the first time. I saw it with 10 friends. It was in the summer of 98. I was 15, turning 16. And it was like going to church for a bunch of teenage boys. It was like the apotheosis of what was happening in comedies at this point.
4:43 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
4:44 Sean Fennessey? And raucous laughter. I think as I look at the movie now, which I still think is so funny. I actually don't think it's really lost an inch of how much it makes me laugh. But I don't think I really understood what the movie was trying to accomplish at all. Like I, I could only react to the set pieces. Like I wasn't thinking about the ideas. I wasn't even thinking about the weirdness of the characters. And so it's funny that it still has the power that it had when I was with 10 other dudes in a movie theater.
5:10 Chris Ryan? It was a really weird re-watch because I was like, oh, I'm going in and it's Frankenbeans and it's hair gel. And I was like, is Matt Dillon in this movie? One of the greatest comedic performances in cinema history coming out? I was like, this guy is throwing a perfect game in this movie.
5:27 Bill Simmons? Yeah, I remember, um, Goldman wrote about this in a couple of different ways, but he, he was obsessed with this movie, how like smartly constructed it was. He did the more adventures screen trade and did a whole thing about the zipper scene. And just how brilliant it is. I think that's what, it's been on a million times. I always get sucked in. The structure of it, how smart it is, how well constructed it is from start to finish, how good the character's in. Like we had the Dion Waiters Award. It's probably 10 Dion Waiters in this movie and they're all coming in hot. And the movie just doesn't let up. And, uh, I don't think it peters off at all.
6:03 Sean Fennessey? No.
6:04 Bill Simmons? The first hour is probably a little funnier, but I think it, it just rides. And then you have like great performances, including Cameron Diaz, who was like, became an A-plus lister after this movie.
6:16 Chris Ryan? I, the funniest thing about watching it this time was.
6:21 Chris Ryan? How gutsy it is for Stiller to basically do this movie and the entire film is him reacting to stuff. It's like, it is the most straight man lead performance in a comedy that I can think of in a lot of ways because it's so thankless, he's gonna basically get, his balls caught in a zipper.
6:38 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
6:39 Chris Ryan? He's gonna blow his load and he's gonna get, like, run through the wringer this entire movie. And everybody else is gonna get to have-
6:47 Bill Simmons? Don't forget about rest stops, the bathhouses and the nineties.
6:49 Chris Ryan? He's just gonna pee.
6:52 Bill Simmons? Hey, wait your turn!
6:55 Chris Ryan? Dude, Jay Cutler in this movie. But it's just such a great lead performance because he's just like, "I'm gonna let everybody else cook while I move through this movie."
7:03 Sean Fennessey? But by the same token, you can feel him making a choice that's like, "I found my movie star persona." Like, this is the movie that unlocks the similar kind of character he plays in like, ten consecutive studio comedies after this. So it's actually really smart on his part, because before this, you know, he's in some interesting movies and he's still trying to figure out, he's balancing a lot of these like, independent dramas, the same year as Permanent Midnight, same year as Less Than Zero.
7:27 Bill Simmons? Don't forget your friends and neighbors.
7:28 Sean Fennessey? Your friends and neighbors.
7:29 Bill Simmons? Jason Patrick, telling a long story about the guy in high school.
7:33 Sean Fennessey? And he's already directed Reality Bites and he's had the TV show, but he, this isn't the guy from Meet the Parents, you know? This isn't the guy from Night at the Museum yet, so he's figuring it out.
7:42 Bill Simmons? I was gonna do this later, but we can do it now. He had not carried a movie yet. He was Ben Stiller's show, Reality Bites, Heavyweights, If Lucy Fell, Flirting with Disaster, Directed the Cable Guy. The year before, he did episodes of Friends and Larry Sanders. He was the second lead of Zero Effect in 1998 with Bill Paulman and Ryan O'Neal.
8:01 Chris Ryan? I don't know if I-
8:01 Bill Simmons? Sean owns it on 4K.
8:03 Sean Fennessey? Really funny movie, really. Yeah, it's like a detective comedy that's played very straight.
8:07 Bill Simmons? But I didn't think Ben Stiller could lead a movie. I didn't know what he was. And he goes from this, eleven-year run-up, There's Something About Mary, Meet the Parents, Zoolander, Royal Tannenbaum's, Along Came Polly, Starskin Hutch, Anchorman, Dodgeball, Meet the Fockers, Heartbreak Kid, Tropic Thunder. Just all in a row.
8:23 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
8:23 Bill Simmons? And he becomes the biggest comedy star we have, which I think the odds- In 1998 of like our next giant comedy star would be Ben Stiller would have been 100 to one.
8:33 Chris Ryan? No, I never would have guessed it.
8:35 Sean Fennessey? He was doing things outside of movie roles, though, like he was hosting the MTV Movie Awards and he was doing that, the famous, the, the Tom Cruise stunt double thing.
8:46 Chris Ryan? Oh, yeah.
8:46 Sean Fennessey? He was do, he was doing.
8:47 Bill Simmons? He did have cool guy, cool comedy guy energy.
8:49 Sean Fennessey? Yeah, yeah. He was making himself known.
8:51 Chris Ryan? But I almost could have seen him having like a secondary like Albert Brooks type career where it's like kind of a fringe character who directs his own stuff, but it's like a very niche kind of thing. For, so for him to be this, this mainstream is pretty surprising.
9:04 Bill Simmons? Well, that's why Your Friends and Neighbors is so interesting because it almost seems like he's wondering if he should be a serious actor.
9:10 Sean Fennessey? The Permanent Midnight too.
9:11 Bill Simmons? Very, yeah, both those movies are very tough hangs.
9:14 Sean Fennessey? Yeah, very serious, like looking at like sexual perversion among couples, looking at addiction, like he, you can feel him trying to figure out like, what's the right path for me?
9:23 Bill Simmons? Which ironically, Jon Stewart was a little like that too. He was, and he was one of the runners up for this movie, but he was also like, am I an actor or what am I? Stiller, I remember when he was on SNL for like the all time cup of coffee. I don't even think it was half a season, but did Eddie Munster. And he did a Tom Cruise and people knew he was still a Ramirez kid. I never saw the Ben Stiller show. I'm not going to pretend I was like, oh yeah, I didn't even really remember that happening.
9:52 Chris Ryan? That was on Fox.
9:53 Bill Simmons? Yeah, it was on Fox. It kind of came and went. And it wasn't until Reality Bites, which we talked about.
9:58 Sean Fennessey? There's some funny stuff on that show though, and it had, you know, Cross, Snowden, Kirk and, and Jeanne Garofalo. It had a bunch of people who went on to be like.
10:04 Chris Ryan? Did have like a crazy writing staff too, probably.
10:06 Sean Fennessey? I think so, yeah.
10:08 Bill Simmons? Funniest movies of the 1990s?
10:12 Bill Simmons? I'm going to give my list from seven to one.
10:15 Sean Fennessey? Funniest movies of the 1990s, you're just going to give this away right now?
10:18 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
10:19 Sean Fennessey? You should put this on Substack.
10:23 Bill Simmons? This is gonna be the new running joke.
10:25 Sean Fennessey? Just saying.
10:26 Chris Ryan? I can't tell if you like it.
10:29 Bill Simmons? You'll have to read it on projections this Wednesday.
10:32 Chris Ryan? And number one, coming Thursday.
10:36 Bill Simmons? Actually, I'll give you a top eight, cuz I bumped Dirty Work. Dirty Work, eight. We've done that and rewatched them.
10:42 Sean Fennessey? Hell, yeah.
10:43 Bill Simmons? Groundhog Day, seven. Happy Gilmore, six. Wayne's World, five. Austin Powers, two, four. I think that was 1999. Dumb and Dumber.
10:56 Bill Simmons? Tommy Boy. There's Something About Mary.
11:01 Bill Simmons? That's what I have.
11:01 Sean Fennessey? Sorry, Billy Madison was not on the list?
11:03 Bill Simmons? Was not. That's my top eight.
11:05 Sean Fennessey? Shameful.
11:05 Bill Simmons? Doesn't mean that this shouldn't have had 20 movies, but I think Mary was one of the fun- I think it was the funniest movie of the 90s, leading me to my next list. Funniest movie by decade.
11:15 Chris Ryan? Oh, how far back did you go?
11:17 Bill Simmons? 70s.
11:18 Chris Ryan? Okay.
11:19 Bill Simmons? They didn't know comedy in the 60s.
11:20 Sean Fennessey? Funniest movie of the 1930s, go.
11:22 Chris Ryan? Is that Bringing Up Baby in the 30s?
11:24 Sean Fennessey? Sure, yeah. 39. Got it. Nailed it.
11:28 Bill Simmons? Got it!
11:29 Sean Fennessey? Is it 39? I don't even know. I think it is.
11:32 Bill Simmons? What do you have for the 70s?
11:34 Chris Ryan? The funniest movie of the 70s?
11:35 Bill Simmons? Funniest movie.
11:36 Chris Ryan? Slapshot.
11:38 Bill Simmons? Interesting.
11:38 Chris Ryan? Yeah. But here's, I, my comedy tastes tend to go more towards character stuff than it is like Tommy Boy. Like, I think.
11:48 Sean Fennessey? I would say Young Frankenstein. It's probably my favorite.
11:50 Bill Simmons? All right, I had Animal House.
11:53 Bill Simmons? 1980s. Caddyshack, Naked Gun, and Airplane were my three finalists, and I need more time. But those were the three I had now.
12:00 Sean Fennessey? When will you be deciding?
12:01 Bill Simmons? I don't, maybe like seven podcasts from now. I'll let, I'll let people know where I land.
12:05 Sean Fennessey? You should be doing a pod with Van and Joe and be like, just want you guys to know I've decided. I talked about this with Chris and Sean.
12:10 Bill Simmons? I don't know if you knew, but three weeks ago, 90s, Mary. 2000s gets really hard with Anchorman, Superbad, and The Hangover, and I don't, I need more time to decide on that.
12:22 Sean Fennessey? I think it's Anchorman 2. The Hangover, which, you know, has many complexities in this day and age, did have a very similar feeling to this movie in theaters.
12:30 Chris Ryan? Yes.
12:30 Sean Fennessey? In theaters where it was like, this is a rock concert.
12:32 Chris Ryan? Yeah, like when he, like, he gets teased in The Hangover, you're just like, in the face!
12:37 Bill Simmons? Not at the table, Carlos, is still the funniest thing that's ever happened.
12:40 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
12:41 Bill Simmons? And then 2010s, I actually think it's Bridesmaids.
12:44 Chris Ryan? Is Step Brothers 2010s? No.
12:46 Bill Simmons? Oh, that's 2000. Oh, that's, so Step Brothers could be in the 2000s, too. What's your 2000s movie, Craig?
12:52 Chris Ryan? My god, I have to pick one?
12:53 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
12:55 Sean Fennessey? Now, quickly. Bill gets to wait seven weeks. You go now.
12:58 Chris Ryan? Probably, I mean, Anchorman, I think, has like the most quotes that I've taken with me throughout my life. And then maybe super bad in Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
13:06 Bill Simmons? Oh.
13:07 Chris Ryan? Yeah. It's impossible. Step Brothers and Hangover is so good.
13:11 Bill Simmons? You almost need more time with it. I do think it's Bridesmaids for the 10s.
13:14 Chris Ryan? Use Anytime, that would be good.
13:16 Bill Simmons? Bridesmaids is so fucking funny.
13:18 Chris Ryan? Yes.
13:18 Bill Simmons? Like, it's like clearly the champ of that year. Anyway, I don't know if you had any quibbles.
13:23 Sean Fennessey? Wasn't prepared for this query.
13:25 Chris Ryan? Do we have a 2020s? Have you laughed this second?
13:30 Bill Simmons? Do we have comedies anymore? What happened to comedies?
13:32 Sean Fennessey? Yeah, we just, well, Craig and I were just talking about one that's coming out in June called The Invite, which is pretty funny.
13:38 Bill Simmons? Yeah?
13:38 Sean Fennessey? Yeah. Seth Rogen, Olivia Wilde, Edward Norton, and Malapie Cruz.
13:41 Chris Ryan? God, what is the funniest movie of the 2020s?
13:43 Bill Simmons? How sad is that? We can't even think off top of our heads.
13:46 Sean Fennessey? There was just a big, big-ish comedy, smallish comedy this year. What was the 2026 comedy, the one comedy?
13:53 Bill Simmons? Well, didn't the Naked Gun remake came out?
13:55 Sean Fennessey? That was in 2025, yeah. But you said you were not so high.
13:58 Chris Ryan? Like a comedy this year that did well?
13:59 Sean Fennessey? Yeah. Well, the drama's pretty funny.
14:02 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
14:03 Bill Simmons? Is it? I haven't seen that.
14:04 Chris Ryan? Not Step Brothers funny.
14:05 Sean Fennessey? Not a different kind of funny.
14:06 Bill Simmons? Cool festivals, like you guys.
14:07 Chris Ryan? It's a movie that made $100 million. It's been out for like weeks. You could have just gone.
14:12 Bill Simmons? The drama?
14:12 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
14:13 Bill Simmons? It's the fucking basketball playoffs. I'm not going to the movie theater.
14:15 Chris Ryan? It was out before the basketball playoffs. It was Pattinson and Zendaya. You're the consumer. You're the guy who's got four screens.
14:21 Bill Simmons? I'll see it when it's on a streamer.
14:22 Sean Fennessey? Did you see Netflix's new film, Oops, I Pooped My Pants and Also Killed My Daughter's Boyfriend?
14:30 Bill Simmons? Does that exist?
14:32 Chris Ryan? Have you, if you go on public with your-
14:33 Bill Simmons? That's a great title.
14:37 Bill Simmons? They should do that.
14:38 Chris Ryan? But it's like, have you talked publicly about how you watch things called like I'm My Own Mother on Netflix? And you're like, you're sending texts?
14:46 Bill Simmons? I've never seen that one.
14:47 Chris Ryan? As if you're like, you guys up on this yet? Like, me and Sean are sitting around.
14:51 Bill Simmons? I'd like to let you guys know what the common people are watching. Nobody dumps my daughter is something you guys need to know about.
14:58 Sean Fennessey? Yeah, it's always like.
15:00 Bill Simmons? Husband, father, killer.
15:01 Sean Fennessey? I just stabbed a drifter with a tire iron and also I found my mom.
15:06 Chris Ryan? 2032, nobody dumps my daughter rewatchable.
15:09 Bill Simmons? Nobody dumps my daughter is the best title of all time. Just wait till we do our rewatchables next year. This movie laid the ground for the 2000s R rated comedy boom.
15:20 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
15:21 Bill Simmons? Really starting with American Pie and Road Trip, but then old school really officially kicks it off. But I think this pulled the seal off. Comedies cannot be R rated because they won't make as much money. This movie made a shitload of money.
15:33 Sean Fennessey? See, I, I thought of another movie that I chose for my double feature, but I feel like is in, in concert with this, which was American Pie. I felt like, because American Pie came one year later and it was like those two summers.
15:45 Bill Simmons? But did American Pie, part of the reason it pushed the envelope was because this movie pushed the envelope? And they were like, no, maybe he can fuck a pie.
15:54 Sean Fennessey? Yes, totally.
15:55 Bill Simmons? I think, I think it did help.
15:57 Sean Fennessey? Yeah, I, I think that's right.
15:58 Chris Ryan? The stories about the test screenings for this movie and how the Farrelly brothers were like completely open to the idea of like, maybe this will be too far and maybe this won't work. And then them showing it and Peter Chernin just being like, yeah, don't, don't change a thing. I was disgusted, but don't change a thing.
16:13 Bill Simmons? Well, they filmed the two different versions of the hair gel. You know, that was the deal they made with Cameron Diaz. It will have this too. And if it doesn't work or however they did it, not knowing if people would be like, that's disgusting. I'm leaving. And it was the opposite. It was, and if you watch that scene, when it cuts to her with the hair, like not a lot's happening in the dialogue because they know how funny it is. And everybody's gonna be laughing. So it kind of doesn't even matter what they're saying. Yeah. Cameron Diaz, who did the mask in 1994 out of modeling. It was like the first thing she ever did. 1996, She's the One.
16:52 Sean Fennessey? Mm-hmm.
16:52 Bill Simmons? Which I consider the dream team too. A lot of people think it's the Olympic team that year we had with Shaq and.
16:57 Sean Fennessey? No.
16:58 Bill Simmons? It's actually.
16:58 Sean Fennessey? Burns.
16:59 Chris Ryan? Burns gets Aniston.
17:01 Sean Fennessey? Maxine Bonds, Aniston, Cameron Diaz, and.
17:05 Bill Simmons? Leslie Mann.
17:06 Chris Ryan? And Tom Petty on the soundtrack.
17:07 Sean Fennessey? Don't forget it. Tom Petty.
17:08 Bill Simmons? Don't forget Amanda Peet.
17:10 Sean Fennessey? And John Mahoney. Amanda Peet. Who else?
17:12 Bill Simmons? That's my, that's my 1996 dream team. My Best Friend's Wedding.
17:17 Chris Ryan? Mm-hmm.
17:17 Sean Fennessey? Good film.
17:18 Chris Ryan? She's fantastic in that too.
17:20 Bill Simmons? Really good.
17:20 Sean Fennessey? Very funny.
17:21 Bill Simmons? And then Mary in 98, and she becomes a A-list star, ends up in Being John Malkovich, Any Given Sunday. Charlie's Angels, Shrek, Vanilla Sky. Tough casting in Gangs of New York, maybe that's a redo.
17:34 Chris Ryan? Sure.
17:34 Bill Simmons? Um, and it just keeps going from there. And she also had high-profile relationships, Sean, with Matt Dillon, Jared Leto, Justin Timberlake, and A-Rod.
17:42 Sean Fennessey? Hmm.
17:43 Chris Ryan? Those all eight.
17:43 Bill Simmons? You know what I've learned? She doesn't have a type. She married Benji Madden. She's just love is love for her. Doesn't matter who it is. She could have fallen for Craig. Could have been anybody.
17:53 Sean Fennessey? Uh, you're married.
17:54 Bill Simmons? Matt Dillon, Jared Leto, Justin Timberlake, and A-Rod.
17:57 Sean Fennessey? That would be weird if she fell in love with 13-year-old Craig in 1999. How old was she?
18:01 Chris Ryan? I was five.
18:02 Sean Fennessey? Five, okay.
18:02 Chris Ryan? It would have been really weird.
18:04 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
18:04 Chris Ryan? Is she married now?
18:05 Bill Simmons? Benji Madden.
18:06 Chris Ryan? Yeah. Oh, well, I mean, you know.
18:08 Speaker 03 You're not checked up on that.
18:09 Sean Fennessey? She's back, by the way.
18:10 Bill Simmons? She's back.
18:11 Sean Fennessey? She retired.
18:11 Chris Ryan? She was in the Jonny Hall movie, right?
18:13 Speaker 03 And one last year with Jamie Foxx.
18:14 Sean Fennessey? She was. Back in Action was last year, and this year was Outcome.
18:18 Bill Simmons? Where do you stand on Mary as the perfect girl? Cause this movie does a lot of tricks.
18:22 Chris Ryan? I think it's the most interesting conversation that's probably come out of the couple of decades of discourse about this movie is how knowing it is about the different ways you can read it. So you can read Mary as, I think there's a Dave Kurline, um, the critic Dave Kerr, who said that she was like a fantasy of flawlessness.
18:43 Bill Simmons? Mm-hmm.
18:43 Chris Ryan? And that everything Mary does is like the exact dream scenario for a guy.
18:48 Bill Simmons? Dave Kerr sounds like a fun hang.
18:50 Chris Ryan? And then.
18:52 Sean Fennessey? Very good critic.
18:54 Chris Ryan? But then you could also flip it and say that the funniest thing about this movie is how it's the guys who are doing all the acrobatics to like bend their personas to what they think Mary wants from them. I don't know. I mean.
19:05 Sean Fennessey? That's the ingenious idea of the movie, right? Is that she is supposed to represent this like ideal of male desire, right? Where it's like, she's into sports. She just wants to eat hot dogs.
19:14 Chris Ryan? Yeah, she loves beer.
19:14 Sean Fennessey? She golfs in her free time, you know?
19:17 Bill Simmons? I really want to dive into this. Loves football.
19:19 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
19:20 Bill Simmons? Eighty-five. She's in on the Niners early.
19:22 Chris Ryan? At one point, she's like, do you want to come upstairs and watch SportsCenter?
19:25 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
19:26 Sean Fennessey? No, she has takes on Montana's draft status.
19:28 Bill Simmons? She has a fucking great golf swing.
19:31 Sean Fennessey? Yeah.
19:32 Bill Simmons? That's really her. Apparently, they had a golf standby, stand-in person.
19:36 Chris Ryan? She over-rotates, but yeah.
19:38 Bill Simmons? And you think so?
19:39 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
19:41 Bill Simmons? A CR with golf tips.
19:42 Chris Ryan? Well, I've just been, I've been in the like the YouTube mines with golf.
19:45 Sean Fennessey? Talk, I mean, let's talk about it.
19:47 Bill Simmons? Yeah, I forgot your true passion.
19:48 Sean Fennessey? Let it go, let it loose.
19:49 Chris Ryan? I've been studying under the tutelage of a man named Mr. Tropicana.
19:52 Sean Fennessey? Thank you.
19:54 Chris Ryan? Who's taught me a lot about.
19:56 Sean Fennessey? When you say studying, you mean just watching his videos, though? Like, you don't know the man?
19:59 Chris Ryan? No, I don't go to Covino to like get his tips.
20:03 Bill Simmons? Great golf swing. Loves meat on a stick.
20:06 Sean Fennessey? Yeah, sure.
20:08 Bill Simmons? Really? Underrated cigarette smoker in this?
20:10 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
20:10 Bill Simmons? I don't know if she de-narrowed it. Did you see that?
20:13 Chris Ryan? Which is odd for an orthopedic surgeon, even at ninety-eight.
20:15 Bill Simmons? Just she casually was like checking out people on the Copacabana, what bar was he in?
20:21 Chris Ryan? I think so, Copacabana, yeah.
20:24 Bill Simmons? Great person, works with special needs adults. Gives apples to homeless people.
20:30 Chris Ryan? I think that guy just is a guy with a boat. Is he homeless?
20:33 Sean Fennessey? He's not boatless.
20:34 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
20:35 Bill Simmons? Was he hanging out on a boat?
20:36 Chris Ryan? I thought he was like the dock master or something.
20:38 Bill Simmons? He's in the IMDb as homeless man.
20:40 Chris Ryan? Oh, okay.
20:40 Bill Simmons? So I don't, I don't know whether, maybe it was a miscalculation. But yeah, she's basically great hang, laughing at everything.
20:49 Sean Fennessey? But the idea that all these guys have to lie about who they are and what they want to get her, even though she is the on paper, if only. You know, my wife could be like this.
21:01 Bill Simmons? Right.
21:01 Chris Ryan? Right.
21:02 Sean Fennessey? It's like the whole genius idea of the movie.
21:03 Bill Simmons? Yeah, they, these guys are all losers who don't really deserve her and they have to come up with these elaborate stupid ways to get her.
21:09 Chris Ryan? Yes.
21:09 Bill Simmons? And that's, I think, the joke of the movie.
21:11 Chris Ryan? Yes. And, but it's like, I think that there's like, you could probably do the opposite read, which is like, this isn't a real person. So then, does the character work? But I, I tend to believe the, the opposite.
21:22 Bill Simmons? You know what? In the summer of 1998, I was just thinking about the laughter.
21:26 Chris Ryan? Yeah, I think we all were, I think we all were.
21:29 Sean Fennessey? I definitely did not realize that this was a high level stalker comedy in 1998. I mean, that is what the movie really is. It's about a bunch of guys that are stalking this woman.
21:37 Chris Ryan? So like, that's the funny, other funny thing is that you could say that this is like an update of a Preston Sturgis plot, like of a, of like a real screwball comedy. Like, you're never gonna believe what happens next kind of story.
21:48 Sean Fennessey? Mm-hmm.
21:48 Chris Ryan? But I do think that all the guys are like, basically should be in jail by the end of the movie, including, including Ted.
21:58 Sean Fennessey? I wrote down, this is when Harry Metzeli for Weirdos. I mean, that's really what the, the premise and plot of the movie is.
22:02 Bill Simmons? So, Matt Dillon, an all time elite scumbag in this movie.
22:06 Sean Fennessey? Phenomenal.
22:08 Bill Simmons? And was dating Cameron Diaz in real life.
22:12 Bill Simmons? Career resurgence of In-N-Out Wild Things and There's Something About Marriage. We just did Wild Things. He, as a kid actor, he was in three S.E. Hinton movies. He was in My Bodyguard, which was the first time I saw him. And women just love Matt Dillon.
22:29 Chris Ryan? Drugstore cowboy, right?
22:30 Sean Fennessey? Mm-hmm. Over the edge. Yeah.
22:31 Bill Simmons? He's kinda all over the place with his IMDb, with a lot of twists and turns. He'd never really done a comedy like this before. He was the original choice for Butch in Pulp Fiction, which we talked about when we did the Pulp Fiction, that I think would have been.
22:46 Chris Ryan? A huge.
22:47 Bill Simmons? An important thing for him.
22:48 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
22:48 Sean Fennessey? I think he would have been good in that part, too.
22:50 Bill Simmons? I also, I don't know why he wasn't in Entourage as their older brother, why he couldn't have come in and done a three-episode arc. Yo, bro, I can't believe you're here!
23:00 Sean Fennessey? I can think of a few reasons why he's.
23:01 Chris Ryan? Would he be playing Matt Dillon? Or would he be playing Drama's?
23:04 Bill Simmons? I think he's playing Drama's older brother. They, or like their half-brother.
23:07 Sean Fennessey? Steve Drama, or like, what was it? Steve Drama?
23:09 Bill Simmons? Yeah, Stevie Drama.
23:13 Bill Simmons? Weird career in the sense that it feels like there should have been a TV pivot to some sort of prestige show in like 2014 that never really happened. And I don't really know what he's been doing the last 15 years, but everybody likes Matt Dillon. He never did like his version of like that Kevin Bacon Show on Showtime or.
23:34 Sean Fennessey? Eight, nine years ago, he did a Lars von Trier movie. Called The House That Jack Built, which is a crazy, no, it was a movie. It was, it's like a movie about a serial killer. It's a crazy movie.
23:43 Bill Simmons? Oh, I thought it was a split up. I never saw it.
23:46 Sean Fennessey? No, no.
23:46 Chris Ryan? He did an Apple show with, uh, with Patricia Arquette. That was kind of like a crime show, like a noir desert show.
23:52 Bill Simmons? Was it a show where somebody dies in the beginning and then you go backwards?
23:54 Chris Ryan? I think it is actually. It's called High Desert.
23:56 Sean Fennessey? Did they solve it?
23:57 Chris Ryan? Uh, well, I think they only did a season of it. I remember watching one.
24:00 Sean Fennessey? We'll never know.
24:01 Bill Simmons? Craig, have you seen that Apple show when somebody dies in the beginning?
24:06 Speaker 03 I think so. Yeah, I saw that one.
24:07 Bill Simmons? We don't know who did it, but then each episode ends and then could have been that person, but then.
24:11 Speaker 03 And then there's another season. It's a whole new cast, but it, there's also murder at the beginning of that season.
24:14 Chris Ryan? But it's spiritually under the same umbrella of like the first season.
24:17 Speaker 03 It's like the same theme song, but a little different every time.
24:20 Bill Simmons? And every actor peaked like six years ago, but their agent definitely told them it was gonna be a great idea.
24:25 Speaker 03 Yeah, I like that show.
24:26 Chris Ryan? Matt Dillon feels like he, he's primed for a White Lotus appearance.
24:30 Bill Simmons? That's the thing. I, I feel like if Matt, if Matt Dillon gets dropped into any sort of cool, if he'd been in Beef, anything, people, the reaction would be, hey, Matt Dillon.
24:40 Chris Ryan? Sure.
24:41 Bill Simmons? I love Matt Dillon, but he's always kind of existed in that world where people like him. I don't know. I feel like he's two movies short, Sean.
24:48 Sean Fennessey? I know what you mean. You know.
24:50 Bill Simmons? It's a little like Mikal Bridges on the Knicks right now.
24:52 Sean Fennessey? All right, all right. Just settle down, please. Um, it's only six years later that he's in Crash, which is a joke now, but at the time, one best picture. And he's the handsy police officer.
25:01 Bill Simmons? And he's good in Crash. Whether you like that or if you're not, he's good in it.
25:04 Sean Fennessey? Not, not, not, not a great character.
25:07 Bill Simmons? Not a good character, but he's the performance.
25:08 Sean Fennessey? He gives a good performance, but then after that, here, here are the movies he makes after Crash. Lover Boy, you seen that?
25:15 Bill Simmons? Not the Kirstie Alley one.
25:17 Sean Fennessey? No. Um, Factotum.
25:20 Bill Simmons? Never heard of that.
25:20 Sean Fennessey? Which is a Bukowski adaptation. Um, Herbie Fully Loaded.
25:25 Sean Fennessey? You, Me and Dupree.
25:26 Chris Ryan? Oh, yeah.
25:28 Sean Fennessey? Nothing.
25:28 Chris Ryan? I don't mind You, Me and Dupree.
25:29 Sean Fennessey? Nothing but the truth, the Cape Beck and Sale political drama. Old Dogs with with Robin Williams and John Travolta.
25:36 Bill Simmons? I don't know. Old Dogs?
25:37 Chris Ryan? Isn't that the motorcycle movie?
25:38 Bill Simmons? No, no.
25:39 Sean Fennessey? No, that's Wild Hogs.
25:41 Bill Simmons? Oh, come on, Chris.
25:41 Sean Fennessey? Old Dogs is about.
25:43 Bill Simmons? It's Wild Hogs.
25:45 Sean Fennessey? Yeah, Wild Hogs and Old Dogs is a killer double, though.
25:49 Sean Fennessey? Takers? You seen Takers?
25:50 Bill Simmons? Yeah, the Will.
25:51 Sean Fennessey? Thriller with Paul Walker.
25:52 Bill Simmons? Couldn't he have been prisoners instead of Hugh Jackman?
25:55 Sean Fennessey? This is a rough 10 years.
25:56 Chris Ryan? Is he in like 187? Or what? What is the like the thriller he's in? It's like Anthony Mackie one. That's pretty good where he plays like a.
26:04 Bill Simmons? But the wheels have come off.
26:05 Chris Ryan? Yeah, and he plays like an armored truck security guard.
26:07 Sean Fennessey? Yeah, that's called Armored.
26:09 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
26:09 Sean Fennessey? He plays Mike Cochran, opposite Laurence Fishburne, Jean Reno, Milo Ventimiglia, Skeet Ulrich, and Columbus Short.
26:17 Bill Simmons? Oh, okay. This is like when I when I texted you guys a couple of days ago with Mark Wahlberg's IMDb in the 2020s and it's like, when did Mark Wahlberg just give up? It's seven straight years of just, ugh.
26:30 Chris Ryan? Yep.
26:31 Bill Simmons? It's just, oh, and I thought I didn't realize it was over, but apparently it was. Sometimes I guess that happens.
26:35 Chris Ryan? I think it's, I think for, do you want to have the Mark Wahlberg conversation or the Matt Dillon conversation?
26:40 Bill Simmons? Oh, either.
26:40 Chris Ryan? Okay, the Mark Wahlberg thing, I think he he used to work routinely with really interesting and challenging directors and now no longer does for the most part.
26:49 Sean Fennessey? You know, Matt Dillon was in Asteroid City, the Wes Anderson movie. You didn't see that?
26:54 Bill Simmons? We're there.
26:54 Chris Ryan? Maybe it's not done, right?
26:56 Sean Fennessey? He's a mechanic.
26:57 Chris Ryan? He's the mechanic.
26:58 Bill Simmons? He's phenomenal in this part. It's really, really funny. I can't even think of anybody else who would have been good in this in the same way.
27:06 Sean Fennessey? So he's like always likable and interesting and he's a, I think he's a good leading man in all those teen movies in the in the 80s. But do you think that because he was dating Cameron Diaz, he was felt like more free? He's never been this funny. Like, I, like, what explains, you know, Deuce, Deuce and a Half? Like, his, his facility with the jokes is so good.
27:29 Chris Ryan? They're changing their image.
27:33 Sean Fennessey? This is about to work for Ricearoni.
27:34 Chris Ryan? I think the, it's always fun when a actor is known for dramatic parts, does a comedy, and is in the comedy treating the part as seriously as he would any drama. But he, Matt Dillon knows how fucking funny this is.
27:49 Bill Simmons? Right.
27:50 Chris Ryan? But he's like Pat Healey, private eye, who falls in love with his own subject. I'm, I'm like 110% committed to it, and...
27:59 Bill Simmons? Even when he's mugging, it's funny, like when...
28:01 Chris Ryan? But his willingness to do it, to put on the veneers and to wear the stupid shirts is just unreal.
28:06 Bill Simmons? Or when Tucker's telling Mary all the fake stuff about him, like he killed a guy, and he's just in the car like...
28:13 Bill Simmons? Like just, he just knows the jig is up.
28:16 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
28:17 Bill Simmons? Um, he's really great in this.
28:18 Chris Ryan? Do you feel like this movie, like when you, when you were like, "Let's do something, there's something about Mary", I was like, "Absolutely, like this is such a singular experience, watching this thing." Do you feel like its second life has been more muted than you would have thought in, when you first saw it?
28:34 Sean Fennessey? I had a follow-up, related question to this. If you had to guess, what number in terms of popularity is this movie for Cameron Diaz on Letterboxd?
28:46 Bill Simmons? Interesting.
28:46 Sean Fennessey? Cause you could make the case, this is her biggest and most important movie.
28:50 Bill Simmons? I would've said The Holidays first.
28:52 Sean Fennessey? Holidays is ahead of it.
28:54 Chris Ryan? Malkovich is ahead of it, probably.
28:56 Bill Simmons? Charlie's Angels is probably ahead of it, cause people are dopes. That movie's awful.
29:02 Bill Simmons? What else? How far is it? How far down is it?
29:05 Sean Fennessey? 14.
29:07 Chris Ryan? That's wild. How is it measured? People's star ratings?
29:10 Sean Fennessey? It's popularity on this app.
29:12 Chris Ryan? It's just how many people have starred the movie.
29:13 Sean Fennessey? Yeah, I think who like it, the ratings, all those things are taken into consideration, but it is... You know, you've got some weird outliers, or you've got like Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, she's in like one scene in that movie, but like Gangs of New York is ahead of it, The Mask is ahead of it, all the Shrek movies are ahead of it, Vanilla Sky is ahead of it, My Best Friend's Wedding is ahead of it. In 1998?
29:34 Sean Fennessey? You know, we were like, not only is she the new Julia Roberts, she's like the new Audrey Hepburn. Like, she's like, this is a person who's on the collision course with mega startup.
29:42 Chris Ryan? And from 1998, this movie is standing on its own two feet against Titanic, Private Ryan, and Armageddon. Titanic, Private Ryan, and Armageddon have gone on to all be rewatchables, I believe. All be rewatched by people like routinely, all the time. And this, I feel like, when you mentioned it to me, I was like, oh, yeah. Like, but I haven't watched this movie in forever for some reason.
30:06 Bill Simmons? I think part of the problem with it, other than there's probably some stuff that people feel like hasn't aged well.
30:13 Bill Simmons? It's like big set pieces that people feel like they don't need to see it because they know what the set pieces are. Where it's like, oh, yeah, there's gonna be the two scenes with the dog, and there's gonna be the one, the hair gel scene, and there's gonna, you know, the zipper scene, and I have seen that, but I don't think it gets enough credit for how smart the script is. And how good the actors are in it. It also feels like it belongs to a different generation.
30:35 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
30:35 Bill Simmons? Because I was looking at the 98 movies that were comedies. There's Something About Mary, Big Lebowski, Waterboy, Rush Hour, Wedding Singer, Night at the Roxbury, Half-Baked, Dirty Work, and Basketball. Just feels very 90s. You know, and then.
30:52 Sean Fennessey? Yeah, but Lebowski hasn't endured, you know, like some, sometimes movies have been endured.
30:56 Bill Simmons? We know why. Yeah, I don't know why this one didn't endure. Look at the Coens.
31:00 Chris Ryan? Oh, I thought you were gonna be like.
31:01 Bill Simmons? It became, it was a cult movie that, you know, I think grew some legs as the years passed and has a bunch of fun people in it.
31:09 Sean Fennessey? It does, I, I had the same thought, though, while watching it, where it's like, it has kind of turned into a little bit of an artifact, which is an interesting, for me, it's probably one of the first examples of a movie that when it happened, I was very aware of it, I was consuming a lot of media around it, a lot of reviews of it, magazine stories about it. And I felt like, well, this is just an absolute neutron bomb for a teenage boy. Like, this is a huge thing. And now, and I think some of it is what you're describing, but the thing about the stuff that is insensitive or hasn't aged well or whatever is, the only people who are doing that stuff are the people who were meant to believe are buffoons in the movie. Like, the movie is relatively sensitive to some of the ideas that it's portraying.
31:47 Chris Ryan? For sure.
31:48 Sean Fennessey? For the people who are impacted by it and understand it or in that world, the family, for example. It's all the guys who are made to be the butt of the joke throughout the movie who are the ones who are insensitive. So like, that can't be the only reason, right, why it's come down a little bit?
32:00 Chris Ryan? I was also wondering, like, you know, it's such a sincere movie in so many ways. Like, the soundtrack, the colors of the movie, it feels very pop. It feels very, kind of weirdly optimistic when you're watching it. You kind of have a mild grin on even when it isn't one of the big set pieces. And for better, for worse, so much comedy has gravitated towards, especially on-screen comedy. Not only is it on TV, but it's like Nathan Fielder and Tim Robinson in this kind of like, if you're gonna do something that's got an incredibly extreme sight gag, it has to be like really weird. You know, like, there can't just be like, this is really funny that this guy thought like masturbating before a date was a good idea.
32:43 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
32:43 Chris Ryan? But it would be like.
32:45 Bill Simmons? Flogging the dolphin?
32:45 Chris Ryan? Then he gets caught by like a local newspaper if it was Tim Robinson.
32:49 Sean Fennessey? Right, right, right. Even Tucker like wobbling back and forth. Something's just like, that's like Three Stooges, you know, it's just pure sight gag comedy.
32:58 Bill Simmons? Farrelly Brothers, The Dumb and Dumber, Kingpin, and There's Something About Mary in a row, basically.
33:02 Chris Ryan? But this is the, they had to save themselves after Kingpin for the third one.
33:06 Bill Simmons? Yeah, Kingpin bombs, which I had forgotten.
33:08 Sean Fennessey? An incre- just an all-time classic.
33:09 Bill Simmons? Just bombed.
33:10 Sean Fennessey? I popped it in immediately after watching There's Something About Mary. I love that movie so much.
33:14 Bill Simmons? Um, that was Ed Decter and John Strauss, friends of the Farrellys, wrote the script. Farrellys bought it, ran with it, and they wanted to do something more for adults, Animal House style. And they knew this was their last chance, basically. This doesn't work. It's not gonna happen. Um, we'll take a break and then we'll talk about, uh, a couple other things, including the Oscars for that year.
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35:44 Bill Simmons? So Goldman was adamant that this movie should have been nominated for Best Picture and that Cameron Diaz should have been nominated for Best Actress. I'll give you the Best Picture that year. Shakespeare in Love, Elizabeth, Life is Beautiful, Saving Private Ryan, and The Thin Red Line. Who are you bumping, Sean?
35:59 Sean Fennessey? Easy, Life is Beautiful, Get It Out.
36:01 Bill Simmons? Yeah, people, at the time. Ben Nini won. That also got nominated for Directed, or Director. He won for Best Actor. Best Actress in a Leading Role. Gwyneth Paltrow wins for Shakespeare in Love. Cate Blanchett, Elizabeth. Fernanda Montenegro for Central Station.
36:22 Chris Ryan? Way to go.
36:22 Bill Simmons? What are your thoughts on that one?
36:24 Sean Fennessey? It's a Brazilian cinema classic. In fact, her daughter Fernanda Torres was nominated two years ago for Best Actress.
36:30 Bill Simmons? Streep, One True Thing. Kind of like when Kobe would make the All Defense near the end of his career.
36:35 Chris Ryan? I gotta be honest.
36:35 Bill Simmons? Just automatic nomination.
36:36 Chris Ryan? This is the first I'm hearing of One True Thing.
36:37 Bill Simmons? Yeah, I don't even remember what that is.
36:38 Sean Fennessey? Well, you haven't listened to our Meryl Streep Hall of Fame then.
36:40 Chris Ryan? I'm sorry.
36:42 Bill Simmons? Oh, sorry, Sean.
36:43 Sean Fennessey? Just outed him, sorry.
36:43 Bill Simmons? Sorry, it's basketball playoffs.
36:45 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
36:45 Bill Simmons? What is One True Thing?
36:46 Sean Fennessey? You're grinding tape.
36:47 Chris Ryan? He missed the drama, I missed the Meryl Streep.
36:49 Sean Fennessey? Um, that's the one with William Hurt, right? Where she gets cancer, Meryl Streep's character gets cancer. And Renee Zellweger has to come home to help take care of them. Renee Zellweger, I think, plays a magazine writer. Very sincere drama, yeah.
37:01 Chris Ryan? So she gets nominated for that.
37:02 Bill Simmons? Emily Watson in Hillary and Jackie. But as we've discussed many times, the rewatchables, comedy performances and comedies in generals do not get treated with any sort of reverence from the Academy.
37:15 Chris Ryan? It's a little harder to get Dylan into Supporting Actor, because it's Coburn, DuVall for A Civil Action, Ed Harris, Truman Show, Geoffrey Rush, Shakespeare in Love, and he is pretty amazing in that. And Billy Bob Thornton for A Simple Plan. So it's hard to know who you would kick out, but that's who I would, of the actors that I feel most passionately about, it would be Dylan for Supporting Actor.
37:35 Sean Fennessey? I would have had Simple Plan and Truman Show in my Best Picture race that year, too.
37:38 Bill Simmons? Well, if they had the nine films, I wonder if those two get added with There's Something About Mary. So anyway, nothing happens, they're not nominated for Screenplay either. Twenty-three Million Dollar Budget made three seventy.
37:48 Sean Fennessey? Crazy.
37:48 Bill Simmons? Fourth biggest movie in ninety-eight. Roger Ebert, three stars. What's a blessed relief is laughter. It flies in the face of manners, values, political correctness, and decorum. It exposes us for what we are, the only animal with a sense of humor.
38:02 Chris Ryan? Hmm. We don't know that for sure. I don't know.
38:05 Bill Simmons? Fucking cooking, could have added a half star. William Goldman wrote, "My choice for best picture was 'There's Something About Mary.' I would have given it best actress and best screenplay as well. The Academy has always ignored two of the hardest genres to create comedies and adventure flicks."
38:23 Bill Simmons? He just loved this movie. Anyway, categories.
38:28 Bill Simmons? Most rewatchable scene, piggyback ride into... He's only 230, huh? He's just like, his back's destroyed by Warren.
38:36 Sean Fennessey? Just the noise of his back cracking when Warren jumps on it is very...
38:40 Bill Simmons? Well, I don't know when we want to talk about Warren, but...
38:45 Sean Fennessey? W. Earl Brown.
38:47 Bill Simmons? I think Warren's incredible in this movie. I think it depends on what maybe some of your background is with the special needs community. We've had, my wife has that in her family, her Uncle David. My dad worked with special needs people for 15, 20 years. I love the way it approaches the whole concept in this. Like, you're always on Warren's side. I feel like they're not making fun of him anyway, like, he's just a comedy machine. But then as the years pass, it became, the Farrellys have even talked about, like...
39:17 Chris Ryan? I think it's just the issue of casting somebody outside of that community.
39:20 Bill Simmons? The Farrellys, basically, in the 2010s, they're like, "Look, we tried a million people, this was the best performance, it was a key part." By the 2020s, they're like, "Yeah, we blew this."
39:30 Sean Fennessey? Yeah.
39:30 Bill Simmons? And I get, I get it.
39:32 Sean Fennessey? It's a complicated thing because that was not how people were thinking about it at the time, that that's who should be cast in these parts. And that's changed pretty dramatically in Hollywood. So it's really hard to come down on it. But I, that's, like I said, still one thing I like about the movie is, is like, who's not making fun of Warren? You could misconstrue it, though, if you were a teenager, I will say that. Like, it was pretty easy for, for people that I knew to misunderstand what the movie was trying to do.
39:57 Chris Ryan? I know people who also have, like, special needs, family members, what have you, who were upset by that. But it's just like, but it's just, it depends on your personal experience and your taste level and your... I think also, like, it's a very different experience watching this movie in a theater and 350 people are clearly laughing at Warren. And you're like, "That's fucked up." Versus, like, watching it at home and being like, "I see what they're doing here and how they're kind of..." They're not, they're not, they're celebrating this guy. They're not like making fun of him.
40:29 Bill Simmons? Yeah, and the Fairlays who have done this in a lot of their movies about all types of people and them and all different types of handicapped people. He's actually the key to the movie because.
40:38 Chris Ryan? He's the trustee, he's the barometer of which guy works.
40:41 Bill Simmons? Trusting Ted is the most important thing that happens in the movie. Who's good for Mary. Yeah, and they built, they build it up. Anyway.
40:47 Bill Simmons? The prom invite's really adorable too, that first scene. All right. Ted shows up to take Mary to the prom. This is just an unbelievable seven minutes, five minutes, whatever it is.
40:58 Chris Ryan? This is my most fun part about rewatching it is I had forgotten Keith David in marquee post. Just crushing it. Yeah.
41:05 Sean Fennessey? Keith David.
41:06 Bill Simmons? The wedding photo?
41:07 Sean Fennessey? Flawless, flawless in the scene. I, it, it, it, it immediately got like my energy up just watching him fucking with Ben Stiller.
41:15 Bill Simmons? The wedding photo of them from the seventies is funny.
41:18 Sean Fennessey? Which was clearly taken like one minute before they started shooting.
41:22 Bill Simmons? Yeah. Mary comes down the stairs and Keith David goes, ah shit, look at that.
41:30 Bill Simmons? And then Warren attacking Ted is so fucking funny.
41:34 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
41:35 Bill Simmons? Him going to the bathroom. The.
41:39 Bill Simmons? She's a dental hygienist, she'll know exactly what to do. And her answer is to get Bactine. And then, uh.
41:47 Sean Fennessey? When she sprays the Bactine.
41:49 Chris Ryan? I don't know what the technical name is when you're doing comedy to just like keep adding layers and layers on top of the same punchline where like, and then the fireman and then the cop.
42:00 Speaker 03 It becomes like Naked Gun for a second. Like the cops climbing in through the window and the fire department shows up. It's so good.
42:06 Bill Simmons? And Warren's throwing a hundred and ten because he hears the franks and beans. He starts yelling, franks and beans!
42:13 Bill Simmons? That he was masturbating is hilarious. Lenny Clark pops in out of nowhere. This is just an A plus comedy scene. It's, I just have no notes. Every part is great. And even when you see the zipper for a split second, they don't stay in it too long. It's like, oh, ow!
42:29 Chris Ryan? Also just the decision to have every actor just be direct, like playing their teenage self. You know what I mean? Like not having kids play the, the parts anyway and having Stiller as a teenager makes his character so funny immediately.
42:43 Sean Fennessey? Yeah, I think Keith David especially wanting to like get in there and take a good look at it.
42:47 Bill Simmons? I think he puts his glasses on. This cracks me up. It's just the perfect comedy scene. And then it goes right into the therapy appointment with our guy, Richard Jenkins.
42:55 Chris Ryan? This is like a dark horse for me, but Jenkins is unbelievable.
43:00 Sean Fennessey? Look at the food in his mouth.
43:03 Bill Simmons? Doesn't have anywhere to wipe his hands.
43:06 Chris Ryan? Best areas are homosexual. Highway resters are the bathhouses of the 90s.
43:12 Bill Simmons? Bathhouses of the 90s, one of the funniest ideas of any comedy.
43:15 Chris Ryan? For many, many, many, many gay men.
43:19 Sean Fennessey? Is the insinuation when he's like, we'll talk about this more next week, isn't it that he wants to talk about it?
43:24 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
43:25 Chris Ryan? We'll delve into that next week.
43:29 Bill Simmons? This is his only scene, right?
43:31 Chris Ryan? Yeah. It's like uncredited. I think he like lived in the area and they were just like, do you want to do a day?
43:36 Sean Fennessey? There's a funny cutaway to him in the montage at the end too, where he's like rubbing Stillers back from behind. That is also very funny to this joke.
43:44 Bill Simmons? Jenkins, like underrated comedy actor.
43:46 Sean Fennessey? Yeah, speaking of Step Brothers, right?
43:49 Bill Simmons? The therapy appointment with Jenkins and then the next one is Healy lies to Ted about Mary. After he comes back from Miami, she's about a deuce, deuce and a half. Ted, don't you want the name of the housing project? Just that two minutes is really great.
44:05 Sean Fennessey? My favorite part of it, I'd say about a deuce, deuce and a half is when he's like, not bad.
44:13 Bill Simmons? Healy ropes Mary in at the golf course.
44:17 Bill Simmons? Every part of this is, is my real passion is my hobby. He says the, I work with retards and she goes, isn't that a little politically incorrect? Well, to hell with the hat. No one's going to tell me who I can and can't work with, right?
44:31 Bill Simmons? We got this one kid, Mongo. That scene is out of control.
44:36 Sean Fennessey? I love those goofy bastards.
44:38 Chris Ryan? A leash.
44:39 Bill Simmons? Plenty of room to dig. That kid is really blossomed. I don't know how they did that scene.
44:48 Bill Simmons? That scene's unbelievable. The crazy dog scene when Puffer passes out.
44:52 Chris Ryan? Passes out? He dies. He fucking takes him back to life. That's also got, uh, Healy telling them in Nepal, the villagers there called me Kin, Kin Tanti. Which means noble man who is loved by many animal, who in kind he loves too.
45:13 Sean Fennessey? Oh, God.
45:14 Bill Simmons? The hitchhiker scene, where do you stand on that one, CR? Seven Minute Abs?
45:17 Speaker 03 Uh, 11 out of 10.
45:20 Sean Fennessey? People don't know about Harlan Williams.
45:22 Bill Simmons? Yeah, do you know about Harlan Williams, Craig?
45:24 Speaker 03 Yes, because the movie where he's the astronaut was one of my favorite movies as a kid. I'm blank, what's the name of that movie? Spaceman?
45:29 Sean Fennessey? Is it Spaceman?
45:30 Speaker 03 I loved that movie as a kid.
45:31 Sean Fennessey? It was really funny.
45:32 Speaker 03 Yes.
45:32 Bill Simmons? Step into my office, cuz you're fucking fired!
45:35 Sean Fennessey? Seven's the key number here. Think about it, 7-11, 7 doors, 7 men, that's the number. 7 chipmunks twirling on a branch, eating lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. You know that old children's tale from the sea?
45:49 Speaker 03 Rocket Man, by the way.
45:50 Bill Simmons? It's like you're dreaming about Gorgonzola cheese! It's brie time, baby! He comes in hot. Theon Waiters is gonna be impossible. The, uh, the Joe Jackson scene with the flag football. Spikes the ball, exceptional by ass! He cheats in checkers and then he goes right, gets his teeth capped, cuz he overheard her talking about big white teeth. Uh, Chris Elliott goes to see Ted, is the next one. You choke the chicken before any big date, don't you? Tell me you spanked the monkey before any big date!
46:21 Speaker 03 You got baby batter on the brain!
46:23 Bill Simmons? You're going out there with a loaded gun!
46:27 Bill Simmons? I do love the most honest moments in a man's life is the few minutes after he's blown his load. It's a medical fact, says that.
46:36 Bill Simmons? We get the hair gel scene. The cut is great to the hair. We get Puffy and Magda going blockers on speed.
46:42 Speaker 03 And then Puffy attacking Ted.
46:45 Bill Simmons? I like when he throws the 4.20, he's like, "You're gonna kill him! Don't throw another one!" And he looks at him and just whips another one out. Uh, we get the big confrontation when all the stalkers are all together. And then, uh, the closing credits are really good in this movie.
46:58 Speaker 03 Yeah.
46:59 Bill Simmons? I like how much foresight they put into just filming on location as they're finishing scenes and then forcing everybody to do. Buttercup. All right, Sierra, what do you got? Most rewatchable scene?
47:09 Chris Ryan? Man, I'm so tempted to go, uh, to go with Richard Jenkins, but I think the Healy meeting Mary, for me, honestly.
47:17 Bill Simmons? The golf. That's from me as well.
47:19 Sean Fennessey? Me too. It's the funniest stuff.
47:20 Chris Ryan? And he's like, how do you know my name? It's written on your golf bag.
47:24 Bill Simmons? Yeah. And she's so likeable in it too. Where it's like, it's actually believable that she might fall for this guy.
47:30 Chris Ryan? Well, it's also like, he's trying to do the like, the game, the like, like I'm gonna nag you a little bit.
47:34 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
47:34 Chris Ryan? And like, kind of act a little aloof to see if that works, but just that, their, their chemistry is very palpable and outside of the major set pieces, that's my favorite.
47:43 Bill Simmons? You know what else is impressive about that whole scene? The, the first driving range shot he takes?
47:48 Sean Fennessey? Off the wall.
47:49 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
47:49 Bill Simmons? He goes and it goes off his bag, like, kinda hard to do. I don't even know how they did that.
47:53 Chris Ryan? Matt Dillon's dad was a golf pro.
47:55 Bill Simmons? Yeah. So it's almost, he must have intentionally did. What do you have?
47:59 Sean Fennessey? That's my favorite scene. I will say anytime Ted and Pat are talking to each other is incredible, but specifically when he's updating him the deuce, deuce and a half scene. There's a moment near the end of it where he gets handed a Budweiser when they're sitting outside. And he goes, excuse me, I ordered a whiskey sour. And the waiter walks in and he's like, yeah, whatever.
48:19 Chris Ryan? There's also, uh...
48:20 Sean Fennessey? That killed me this time.
48:21 Chris Ryan? When Ted goes to see Pat to tell him, like, actually, he does wanna get in touch with her, but Pat's in the middle of quitting.
48:27 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
48:27 Chris Ryan? And he's just, that's the whole, like, I'm going to Miami, I got a job with Rice and Ravioli.
48:33 Chris Ryan? Isn't that in San Francisco trees, like, while they're changing their image?
48:36 Sean Fennessey? It was.
48:36 Chris Ryan? The thing about, wait, it was like, it was the sumo thing. It's like, she's a mail order bride.
48:43 Bill Simmons? What do you have for most rewatchable scene?
48:45 Speaker 03 Probably the golf scene, or I do think any scene in, in Mary's apartment is really good. The dog stuff, the first time I saw this movie, the dog stuff slayed me. It's like a 13-year-old, just the physical comedy of that, of like, pile driving.
48:58 Sean Fennessey? Yeah, when he, when he puts the dog in the side headlock and then drops him down, that's pure gut busting.
49:03 Bill Simmons? Great prop. The dog prop is really good. It really seems like the dog's alive, yeah.
49:07 Chris Ryan? Go away from the light.
49:11 Sean Fennessey? Shocking the top.
49:12 Bill Simmons? Yeah, so as for a butt cake, when they ask him if he wants anything.
49:16 Chris Ryan? Do you want a Heineken or a Budweiser?
49:19 Bill Simmons? What's the most 1998 thing about this movie?
49:23 Bill Simmons? I have some runners up. Being excited about giving somebody a Tony Caniglare signed baseball.
49:29 Chris Ryan? Sure, good one.
49:29 Bill Simmons? That had a shelf life of about maybe 2003.
49:34 Bill Simmons? Brett Favre.
49:35 Chris Ryan? Cool Brett Favre.
49:36 Bill Simmons? Brett Favre being a goody two shoes.
49:38 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
49:38 Bill Simmons? Cool Brett Favre, any part of Brett Favre?
49:41 Sean Fennessey? Yep, got it.
49:42 Bill Simmons? Magda smoking Kools?
49:46 Bill Simmons? A whole carton of Kools?
49:47 Sean Fennessey? Are Kools still around?
49:48 Bill Simmons? I don't even know if they have.
49:49 Chris Ryan? I think Kools are still around.
49:49 Sean Fennessey? Okay.
49:50 Bill Simmons? I have a winner, but what'd you have?
49:52 Chris Ryan? I had just like watching sports highlights at the end of the night being something that you build towards in your life. It's like, let's go home and watch game highlights.
50:01 Sean Fennessey? Picking up Hitchhiker?
50:02 Chris Ryan? Sure.
50:03 Bill Simmons? That's a good one.
50:04 Sean Fennessey? I mean, there's a tremendous amount of gay panic jokes in this movie, like, like a hundred of them.
50:08 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
50:08 Sean Fennessey? You would never find that in a 2020 movie.
50:12 Bill Simmons? Well, our winner is Cops, the TV show, being prominently involved in a scene.
50:17 Chris Ryan? Yeah, that's not the only thing that's happening in that scene.
50:19 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
50:20 Sean Fennessey? Woogie getting his knob polished while watching Cops is elite.
50:26 Chris Ryan? Completely uncommented on, it's also the last moment the wife is in the movie.
50:31 Bill Simmons? Well, the wife, her only, she's like the ideal crazy, perfect wife.
50:35 Chris Ryan? But he's still obsessed with Mary.
50:36 Bill Simmons? Yeah. Yeah. What's age the best?
50:39 Sean Fennessey? Oh, can I say, can I say one more thing?
50:41 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
50:41 Sean Fennessey? The, the way that bad taste is played for laughs instead of like dramatic thrills is something really interesting to me about this movie. Like, bad taste is a skill and you can display it in a clever way. The Farrellys always do that. But like now, bad taste to the point about the drama or like Eddington, like then, like those taboos are things now that people play for like, ooh. Like, is, is it okay to be talking about this? Whereas?
51:02 Chris Ryan? Oh, yeah.
51:02 Sean Fennessey? And there's something about Mary, it's just pure comedy.
51:04 Bill Simmons? Yeah, they're just going for it. What's age the best? Rest areas being the bathhouses of the 90s. That joke is just as funny as it was in 1998. I don't know how you even come up with that. Also, from a what's age the best standpoint, just stopping at a rest area, you got like 10 years out of mileage of.
51:21 Sean Fennessey? Mm hmm.
51:22 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
51:22 Bill Simmons? Yeah, rest area.
51:25 Bill Simmons? Go up there. Um, the musicians popping in, which we did not mention yet, Jonathan Richman.
51:30 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
51:31 Bill Simmons? I can't believe this worked, but I really do think it worked.
51:33 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
51:34 Bill Simmons? Thought it was a really funny, distinct part of the movie.
51:37 Sean Fennessey? It's a such an unlikely choice. I, obviously a New Englander, right? So the Farrelly's very New England filmmakers and, but I, I can't, for whatever reason, picture Peter Farrelly rocking out.
51:49 Chris Ryan? This is just like an amazing, like.
51:50 Sean Fennessey? Jonathan Richman.
51:51 Chris Ryan? Commitment to a bit, cause if that doesn't work, you're like, what the fuck? But like, that kind of speaks to, one of the things I have for What's Aged The Best is the regional specificity of it. The Rhode Island, Boston.
52:02 Bill Simmons? Yeah. He's got a Providence Bruins poster.
52:03 Chris Ryan? Yeah. And the Miami stuff is just like, they find a lot of humor in those places. And I think one thing that's really been lost in more modern movies is like, you know, the drama is set in Boston, but it might as well be set in Copenhagen. Like, it doesn't really feel like Boston.
52:21 Bill Simmons? It's a great point. We've talked about this with other movies, like, we were just better in the eighties and nineties at going into locations.
52:28 Chris Ryan? Well, I feel like they just shoot in a couple of places in the country and then they're like, yeah, this will stand in for this. Or, or it'll just be any city. And you can get a lot of jokes. I mean, just having Lenny Clark in this movie, you know, is like a very knowing wink to the New England.
52:42 Bill Simmons? And Steve Sweeney. Don't forget about him. You have any What's Aged The Best? Cause I had a couple more.
52:48 Sean Fennessey? I just think most comedies age really badly and this one, I think is still really, really funny. It's still, it actually makes me laugh out loud.
52:56 Bill Simmons? So I have a few, cause this was a big movie for me and my wife. Magda jokes about anyone you know in your life who got way too much sun. Like, ugh, veering a little toward the Magda side. Magda's just become a 28 year, uh, over suntan joke. Marky Post. I'm just so glad she's in this movie, just an absolute eighties icon and a legend and was trying to think her, her MBA example, like kinda like the Dominique Wilkins of the eighties, didn't get her just do, because everyone's talking about that Heather, Heather Thomas, Heather Locklear.
53:32 Sean Fennessey? That might be overstating it just a little bit.
53:34 Bill Simmons? Yeah, I don't know. No, Marky Po- everyone loved Marky Po-.
53:36 Chris Ryan? Yeah, but Dominique.
53:37 Sean Fennessey? What's on the resume for Marky Po-?
53:40 Bill Simmons? Night Court. Night Court.
53:41 Sean Fennessey? Right, Night Court, like that's it though.
53:42 Bill Simmons? Some killer posters.
53:44 Sean Fennessey? Yeah.
53:45 Bill Simmons? Couple of good TV movies.
53:47 Sean Fennessey? She win any dunk contests? Where's she on the all time scoring list?
53:50 Chris Ryan? She'll go head to head with Larry Bird.
53:52 Bill Simmons? So maybe she's more like a Terrence Stansbury, I don't know.
53:55 Sean Fennessey? That's nice, yeah, that's good.
53:56 Bill Simmons? It was like.
53:57 Sean Fennessey? Don't get me wrong, I think she's great.
53:58 Bill Simmons? She had an unbelievable Cheers episode. When she came in as Diane Chambers's best friend from college and hit on Sam Malone, and it might be the single best Cheers episode. And Diane finally flips out because they're flirting with each other the whole episode.
54:15 Chris Ryan? She apparently was like pretty scandalized by this movie and was like really nervous to do it, but then was very happy she did.
54:21 Bill Simmons? Yeah, I'm glad she's in it.
54:22 Sean Fennessey? She's one of the only people that really, really, truly pulled off eighties hair. Because she had some real eighties hair.
54:29 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
54:29 Chris Ryan? For sure.
54:29 Sean Fennessey? And it, it worked.
54:31 Bill Simmons? Where you have to have basically the same haircut as Patrick Swayze in Young Blood.
54:34 Sean Fennessey? Yeah.
54:35 Bill Simmons? Um, flogging the dolphin for a big date?
54:38 Sean Fennessey? That's aged well.
54:39 Bill Simmons? That's just a running joke now. Flog dolphin?
54:41 Chris Ryan? Did you ever say that to Ben?
54:42 Bill Simmons? Yeah, Ben going out.
54:48 Bill Simmons? Pat Healy teeth, another running joke. Whoa, some big choppers.
54:51 Sean Fennessey? They're more common than ever.
54:53 Bill Simmons? The, uh, the lie that becomes a way bigger cover up lie. Um, I think has aged the best for me, but we grew up with this with seventies sitcoms. And now I don't feel like we do it anymore. Uh, this was like the staple of half of the comedies for 20 years.
55:07 Chris Ryan? Yeah, I, I also, um, I feel like in my life, after this movie came out, like if a guy ever came home and was just like, uh, but you know, she lives with her sister or something like that, people would be like, first chick in the armor, Ted!
55:22 Bill Simmons? Yeah, that's right. What about Brett Favre when Stiller says that at the end? The Brett Favre thing, I think, kind of came with him for five, six years and then people forgot. I like that they have young Cameron Diaz and young Ben Stiller with the wig and braces and like, and it actually works and they look younger. Sometimes when comedies do this, it's, looks ridiculous.
55:44 Chris Ryan? There's also something very sweet about opening with that, aside from the Frank's and Beans thing and like Ted's, you know, inciting incident, is to have that, like, idea of him as a character, as a kid, and be like, oh, this is like this sweet teenage love story and not just this deranged, middle-aged man who's like, "Time for me to stalk my high school girlfriend."
56:06 Bill Simmons? Yeah. Well, the key is that he still wants to see her, even though he's being told she's a deuce and a half.
56:12 Chris Ryan? That's right.
56:14 Bill Simmons? Tucker calling sex a good rogering?
56:19 Bill Simmons? I'd never heard it before since, but it always makes me laugh.
56:22 Chris Ryan? British slang.
56:22 Bill Simmons? Maybe it would give you a good rogering.
56:24 Sean Fennessey? Is there a rogering gag in Austin Powers?
56:27 Bill Simmons? I've never heard the phrase rogering. Mary's theory that we need more meat on sticks. Does make you wonder why we don't, why it's just a corn dog.
56:38 Sean Fennessey? Let's talk it out.
56:38 Chris Ryan? I don't think I've ever seen you eat meat on a stick.
56:41 Bill Simmons? Well, what's the other one they have, like a long?
56:43 Chris Ryan? Well, it's like kebabs, but we're talking about fried ones.
56:46 Bill Simmons? Teriyaki beef and appetizers.
56:49 Sean Fennessey? Yeah.
56:49 Bill Simmons? I always like having the stick.
56:50 Sean Fennessey? Yeah. Well, do you think there should be more corn dog style? Like, should there be like a steak dog of some kind?
56:57 Chris Ryan? No, I mean, I just, it's, I was just more surprised that this is something that's aged the best for Bill, because I don't often see him indulging in corn dogs.
57:03 Bill Simmons? I think the theory aged great for me because I do like corn dogs. They have one in Santa Monica Pier that my wife has stalked. My wife loves hot dogs, as you know. But they have a-
57:15 Sean Fennessey? As you know.
57:16 Bill Simmons? Well, I've discussed before. She's a big hot dog, hot dog fan.
57:20 Chris Ryan? You must have missed that sub stack.
57:22 Sean Fennessey? I know a lot about your wife. I didn't know that she loves-
57:24 Bill Simmons? Does your daughter eat hot dogs?
57:24 Sean Fennessey? She loves hot dogs.
57:26 Bill Simmons? Because the best part about hot dogs is when you have little kids, you get to relive the hot dog experience through the kids. You get hot dogs back, you get mac and cheese back.
57:34 Sean Fennessey? That's true. You're honestly a hundred percent right.
57:36 Bill Simmons? You get all this food, you little mini chicken nuggets.
57:39 Chris Ryan? Yeah, one day, Craig.
57:40 Bill Simmons? Things you just stopped eating.
57:41 Sean Fennessey? I will say, it is okay for you to have a hot dog now, even though you don't have a child. But what you're saying is true, that like, they're like a weekly occurrence now.
57:49 Bill Simmons? People don't go out of their way to have hot dogs unless they're at a baseball game.
57:53 Chris Ryan? You know what? My wife and I, I think it was like during or right after COVID, would have like, like cookout nights, but it would just be the two of us. And I would, we would make hot dogs and I'd be like, it just doesn't hit the same when you're not with a bunch of people.
58:05 Sean Fennessey? It's not a communal situation.
58:06 Chris Ryan? If you're like, we're making hot dogs as our dinner, it feels a little beaten down.
58:10 Sean Fennessey? It's just, it goes quick, you know? It's not a luxurious meal.
58:14 Bill Simmons? When we went to the Giants game a couple of weeks ago, I couldn't decide whether I wanted a kielbasa or a hot dog. Got them both, double fisted.
58:21 Sean Fennessey? No kidding?
58:21 Chris Ryan? Yeah. Many people have told me that we really fucked up by not getting the crab sandwich.
58:26 Bill Simmons? Oh, really?
58:26 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
58:27 Speaker 03 I was so close.
58:27 Chris Ryan? I wasn't gonna do it.
58:28 Bill Simmons? God damn, that really hurts.
58:29 Speaker 03 The lady next to me was like, you don't want to get it.
58:31 Chris Ryan? Uh, baseball stadium crab. I don't care if we're having it in.
58:35 Speaker 03 It's on the bay, though.
58:35 Bill Simmons? We're on the bay, come on.
58:36 Chris Ryan? Yeah, sure. Lots of stuff happens on the bay.
58:38 Sean Fennessey? Great ballpark, though, right?
58:39 Chris Ryan? Awesome.
58:40 Bill Simmons? My last one, Sage, the best is when Pat Healy is pretending he built the soccer stadium and Norm says, "You built the Estadio Olimpico?" And he goes, "No, just down the street, the Solento Callejón Towers."
58:56 Chris Ryan? I have one more, which was, uh, when, when he goes, when Ted goes to see Woggy Dom, uh, at his law office, and Chris Elliott's got the poster up that says, "Bus crash, 12 kids killed. What does that cost us?"
59:11 Sean Fennessey? It's on the whiteboard. Is it some sort of like insurance adjusters meeting?
59:17 Chris Ryan? We didn't talk about Chris Elliott yet.
59:19 Bill Simmons? We have a couple of spots. You wanna do it now?
59:21 Chris Ryan? I just think that like, there's, there's the Lee Evans, like, there's the Tucker character, and then I, I, I found Chris Evans to be fucking hysterical this time around. I don't know if I-
59:32 Bill Simmons? Chris Elliott.
59:32 Chris Ryan? Chris Elliott, sorry, Chris Elliott-
59:34 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
59:34 Chris Ryan? Was hysterical this time around.
59:36 Bill Simmons? It's funny, cuz, um, I was a Letterman, early Letterman guy, and he was a writer, and they started using him on the show. It was the first time, so he, initially, he was the guy, the guy underneath the stairs, and he would come out. He'd like pop up, and it was like this running bit, he would interrupt the show, as like this psycho who lived in the stairs. And then he did The Fugitive Guy.
59:58 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
59:59 Bill Simmons? Which was basically, every episode would end like The Fugitive, but it would be three minutes, and, um, but then, everything peaked when he was Marv Albert. He would come out and do the Albert Achievement Awards in this Marv Albert wig.
1:00:15 Bill Simmons? And I just would have bought all this, I had all the Chris Elliott stock in like 1986. It was like, this guy is gonna transform comedy as we know it. And this, I think, was his biggest movie.
1:00:25 Chris Ryan? I think-
1:00:25 Sean Fennessey? And this is after Get a Life and after Cabin Boy, right?
1:00:28 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:00:29 Sean Fennessey? Like, it kinda, it ha- it happened and it didn't hit-
1:00:31 Bill Simmons? He had a bad SNL run, he had like a year in SNL, it didn't really work.
1:00:34 Sean Fennessey? So this is kinda after all of that, and he's still, it's such a fearless performance, cuz Boogie is so gross.
1:00:41 Chris Ryan? All the hives and stuff, yeah.
1:00:43 Bill Simmons? He tried to do Marlon Brando, was another running character he tried to do on Letterman 2, but he was just, kept you on your toes. Matt Damon in your trip award for most unexpected A-lister cameo, Brett Favre.
1:00:56 Bill Simmons? Great shot Gordon Award, what do you got, CR?
1:00:58 Chris Ryan? You know what, I, do we just go for the ball shot?
1:01:00 Sean Fennessey? It was my, the first one I wrote down.
1:01:02 Chris Ryan? Yeah. I think, I think it's just the most confrontational piece of cinema I've ever seen.
1:01:07 Sean Fennessey? Yeah, it's like, yeah, it's like several moments in Cruising, right?
1:01:11 Chris Ryan? A torsioned testicle.
1:01:13 Bill Simmons? I have a better answer.
1:01:15 Chris Ryan? Okay.
1:01:16 Sean Fennessey? Better?
1:01:16 Bill Simmons? Yeah. I think how they hide the giant wad of cum on Ted's left ear for 12 seconds.
1:01:24 Chris Ryan? Achievement in cinematography.
1:01:25 Bill Simmons? And he turns. If you actually watch it, they do a really good job of, you only see him from this side. You never see the left ear. And so they really spring it on you. And I think it's impressive.
1:01:35 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:01:36 Sean Fennessey? A lot of leering shots of Cameron Diaz through binoculars in this movie as well. I don't know if you guys picked up on that.
1:01:42 Bill Simmons? I like when he got the bigger binoculars.
1:01:44 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:01:44 Bill Simmons? Then sees Magda, but it's like, it's not, his binoculars weren't good enough. He needs like the, whatever. Chess Rockwell Brock Lander's award for best character named Magda.
1:01:53 Chris Ryan? I had Dom Woggy Woganowski.
1:01:55 Bill Simmons? Oh, that's good. All right. Kid Cudi Pursuit of Happiness award, best needle drop.
1:01:59 Chris Ryan? You love this soundtrack, don't you?
1:02:01 Bill Simmons? I really like Mary's Prayer by Danny Wilson.
1:02:04 Chris Ryan? I have Everyday Should Be a Holiday by Dandy Warhols.
1:02:08 Sean Fennessey? Guys, it's Build Me a Buttercup, please.
1:02:10 Bill Simmons? Buttercup's the answer, the ending.
1:02:12 Chris Ryan? Okay.
1:02:12 Bill Simmons? See, are you in flex category?
1:02:14 Chris Ryan? Brandy Booth Award for the best performance by a pet goes to Puffy. Absolutely amazing dog performance. You know, I don't know how often they were using a dog puppet or a dog zombie. You know, like.
1:02:25 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:02:25 Sean Fennessey? Zombie?
1:02:26 Chris Ryan? Not zombie, but just like.
1:02:27 Bill Simmons? You want to get a dog this movie?
1:02:28 Chris Ryan? No.
1:02:29 Bill Simmons? Okay.
1:02:29 Chris Ryan? No, but I like to observe from a distance and it seems fun. And it's just one of the, one of the funniest dog characters I can think of.
1:02:37 Bill Simmons? It's the right answer. Dorfler's Door Award for how much did that hurt? The franks getting, the beans getting over the frank and the zipper?
1:02:45 Chris Ryan? Ever had a friend who had some sort of like injury down there?
1:02:50 Bill Simmons? Honestly, no.
1:02:52 Sean Fennessey? You know, I've been thinking about this recently.
1:02:53 Bill Simmons? It would have been the most important thing that ever happened to any of my friends if that happened.
1:02:58 Sean Fennessey? You were saying about how when you have young kids, that mac and cheese and hot dogs come back into your life. The other thing that comes back in your life when you have little kids is accidental nut shots. Which like, I just.
1:03:08 Bill Simmons? Or sometimes they're not accidental.
1:03:09 Chris Ryan? They don't seem that accidental.
1:03:10 Sean Fennessey? I have a daughter, not a son. So I'm fortunate to not get the, the purposeful ones.
1:03:15 Bill Simmons? Ben had six months where he was just like, this is the one area I know I could hurt him.
1:03:19 Chris Ryan? Funniest thing in the world.
1:03:20 Bill Simmons? I'll just, and they're like the same height. They're like.
1:03:23 Sean Fennessey? And that's like, that's the true human, the true male frailty. As you get, you surprisingly get hit in the nuts.
1:03:30 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:03:31 Sean Fennessey? And you're like, I, perhaps I should just die now. Like, there's no recourse from that. So just pump that up.
1:03:38 Chris Ryan? This is just such a great. Like depiction of everybody in the in the 90s and the 80s, I'm sure, like had the story about the kid in the other town over who hadn't pooped all summer.
1:03:50 Sean Fennessey? Yeah.
1:03:51 Chris Ryan? You know, like, it was just like the kid at prom who zipped his balls up and had to be taken away by an ambulance. It's just so, it's so resonant.
1:03:58 Sean Fennessey? That's actually what that movie I told you about. Oops, I pooped my pants and killed my daughter's boyfriend. That's what that's about. It's about that kid.
1:04:05 Chris Ryan? I almost said that guy's name on the relatable.
1:04:07 Sean Fennessey? There was a real guy?
1:04:10 Sean Fennessey? Well, just say it. Just say, what's gonna happen? Is he alive?
1:04:13 Chris Ryan? He is.
1:04:14 Sean Fennessey? He didn't die from that, that.
1:04:15 Chris Ryan? No, but he had to go to the hospital.
1:04:17 Sean Fennessey? He did.
1:04:17 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:04:18 Sean Fennessey? What'd they do?
1:04:20 Bill Simmons? We forgot to talk about how funny it was when they do the one, two, and then it cuts there. We got a bleeder.
1:04:27 Sean Fennessey? It's a great cut.
1:04:29 Bill Simmons? You don't have a zipper story, do you, Craig?
1:04:30 Chris Ryan? I don't. Fortunately, I don't.
1:04:32 Bill Simmons? Do you come up with one later?
1:04:33 Chris Ryan? So far, so good.
1:04:36 Bill Simmons? I had a, I'm throwing in here, it's a book about medals award for belatedly best quota exchange. I took a job with Ricearoni. Isn't that the San Francisco treat? It was. It was kills me for some reason.
1:04:51 Bill Simmons? He's like, no, no, it's over. It's not the San Francisco treat. I really enjoy that. And then the Billy Bats Jack Waltz Award for most biting and scalable insult. Come on, cough it up, Chompers.
1:05:02 Bill Simmons? Pat Hilli won't pay his check right away.
1:05:04 Sean Fennessey? I love, this one isn't directly to someone's face, but when Pat and Ted are talking and he goes, who, roller pick? Are you nuts?
1:05:12 Sean Fennessey? And Ted says, you said she was a real spark plug. No, I said butt plug. She's heinous.
1:05:18 Chris Ryan? You can't forget, it's a sumo culture, Ted. They pay by the pound over there. Sort of like, um, tuna. My favorite Billy Bats is actually Favre being like, I'm in town to play the Dolphins, you dumbass.
1:05:32 Bill Simmons? Butch's girlfriend or Weak Link in the film?
1:05:34 Chris Ryan? I got this one. What do you got?
1:05:37 Chris Ryan? Theatrical cut, Sully, the Jeffrey Tambor part. So, and this is also because after you've watched like Earth's Development, you're like Jeffrey Tambor's in this movie. It must be like really significant. In the extended cut, he has an entire plot line about him falling off the wagon and being eaten by a python. But in this theatrical cut, you're just like, why is he in this movie? And what was this whole, what was the point of this?
1:06:00 Sean Fennessey? Which one did you watch to prepare for this?
1:06:02 Chris Ryan? I watched the theatrical and then went to the, just the Jeffrey Tambor scenes of the extended cut.
1:06:08 Bill Simmons? It's tough to cut Jeffrey Tambor, but I don't think this movie needed more stuff in it.
1:06:12 Sean Fennessey? No, he's very funny when he picks Pat up from the airport as well.
1:06:16 Bill Simmons? What did you have for Weak Link?
1:06:19 Sean Fennessey? I mean, there's not really like a person that is not good.
1:06:22 Bill Simmons? I have a, I have a strong Weak Link.
1:06:24 Chris Ryan? Tucker, the...
1:06:26 Sean Fennessey? I like Lee Evans. You're about to go in on Lee Evans?
1:06:28 Chris Ryan? Let's hear it.
1:06:28 Bill Simmons? I have Tucker.
1:06:29 Sean Fennessey? Oh, no.
1:06:33 Bill Simmons? It's a nitpick as well. I just don't understand Tucker's plan.
1:06:37 Sean Fennessey? Well, okay, but that's...
1:06:39 Bill Simmons? To me, it's a Weak Link.
1:06:40 Chris Ryan? Tucker's plan is the weakest link.
1:06:42 Sean Fennessey? I have that in the category.
1:06:44 Bill Simmons? So, he meets Mary, he falls for her. He pays somebody to break his bat with a baseball bat, so then she could treat him as an orthopedic surgeon. Pretends he's an English guy with a cane who's, who's basically crippled now from this injury. But he's also delivering pizza on the side and he thinks this is gonna land Mary, but what happens when he actually lands Mary? Like, he has the worst plan of anyone in a movie.
1:07:10 Chris Ryan? And if Mary is an orthopedic surgeon, wouldn't she look at new x-rays of his back and be like, your back has been healed? Because clearly you're walking around delivering pizzas.
1:07:17 Bill Simmons? I don't understand really any part of it.
1:07:19 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:07:20 Bill Simmons? What he's up to. But it's only one of the things you notice after watching this movie 12 times.
1:07:25 Chris Ryan? And taking it seriously when it's not meant to be.
1:07:26 Bill Simmons? Yeah, I just felt like Tucker could have maybe three more hours in the spitball session on Tucker. Maybe Tucker got injured on a motorcycle. Mary treated him and then he beat, yeah, there's some better version.
1:07:37 Speaker 03 I don't disagree. I, I think he's a little bit turned up. I know the movie's ridiculous, but Sean, what you were saying earlier about how Matt Dillon's character is taking it seriously. Chris Elliott, I feel like is taking it seriously. I do feel like Tucker is the only character where I'm like, this actually does break the world a little bit. He, he is like, uh, doing something bigger than the rest of the characters in the movie. It's a little more slapstick and screwball than anyone else.
1:07:58 Bill Simmons? Yeah. I also had him for the Ruffalo Hannah Rubinak Partridge Overacting Award.
1:08:02 Speaker 03 I was, I was considering for that.
1:08:04 Bill Simmons? He really dials it up one of the times.
1:08:06 Sean Fennessey? It's weird what happened with him because he was the star of Mouse Hunt. Remember the movie Mouse Hunt in 1997? Did you ever see that movie?
1:08:12 Bill Simmons? Hmm.
1:08:12 Sean Fennessey? And then there's Something About Mary and then he's in The Ladies Men, he was in The Fifth Element, he was in a bunch of stuff in the late 90s. He was a big stand-up comic in England. And then basically never acted in movies again. He's only in a few more movies. Yes, the, the, the world agreed with you guys.
1:08:25 Chris Ryan? Wait, what was your weakest link? You just didn't really have one?
1:08:28 Sean Fennessey? I, there's not really an actor in this that I think is bad. In fact, I think it's like overstuffed with way overqualified actors.
1:08:34 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:08:34 Speaker 03 You guys all like the musical interstitials?
1:08:37 Bill Simmons? I personally do, but I'm used to them. I can see why.
1:08:40 Chris Ryan? It's one of the only signals also that there's another, I don't want to say consciousness, like there's another POV on the story of the movie that's like, kind of like tongue-in-cheek. You know what I mean? And it's in a good way.
1:08:53 Sean Fennessey? It's like a fable.
1:08:53 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:08:54 Sean Fennessey? Yeah.
1:08:54 Speaker 03 It's, yeah.
1:08:55 Chris Ryan? You're just not a Jonathan Richman guy, apparently.
1:08:57 Speaker 03 It's okay. I, I feel like that's such an easy, like, four minutes that you could take out of the movie and I, I don't think it's.
1:09:02 Sean Fennessey? He's always thinking about length.
1:09:03 Speaker 03 Well, I, it's not even that. I just like, those are the moments in the movie where I kind of like, okay, I guess I'll check my phone until they're done singing.
1:09:09 Chris Ryan? You don't find it funny when the sniper?
1:09:11 Speaker 03 That was funny, sure, yeah. The gag at the end, maybe it's all worth it for that.
1:09:14 Sean Fennessey? It's a good gag.
1:09:15 Speaker 03 But I did feel that, I, I felt like that was a little bit.
1:09:17 Sean Fennessey? Uh.
1:09:18 Speaker 03 The second time in, you're like, okay, I kind of get this.
1:09:20 Bill Simmons? Craig, I forgot to ask you what the Horlbeck scale was for this.
1:09:24 Speaker 03 It's a two-hour movie. Um, I, like I said.
1:09:26 Bill Simmons? Hundred and nineteen minutes, so we're plus, plus nineteen?
1:09:30 Speaker 03 I do think you could probably shave five to 10 minutes of this movie and it's maybe a, a little bit tighter.
1:09:34 Chris Ryan? So what would you take out besides Jonathan Richman?
1:09:36 Speaker 03 I think I would, you're probably gonna hate this.
1:09:38 Chris Ryan? That's sacrilegious.
1:09:38 Speaker 03 I would probably, I don't, I don't think you need the hitchhiker scene and then I think you could get rid of the musical stuff and it's probably like an hour forty-eight.
1:09:44 Chris Ryan? No, the hitchhiker scene is, how could you not have the hitchhiker scene?
1:09:48 Speaker 03 It doesn't have anything to do with the movie. It's good.
1:09:51 Bill Simmons? Listen, he's just horrible backing it up. Can I give you this on the Jonathan Richman?
1:09:56 Speaker 03 Uh huh. Is that the musician?
1:09:57 Bill Simmons? Yeah, the music stuff. It walks so the Dan Band could then run.
1:10:01 Speaker 03 Fair.
1:10:02 Bill Simmons? With, uh, with The Hangover. And what was the other movie they ran?
1:10:06 Speaker 03 They're in a bunch of stuff.
1:10:07 Bill Simmons? They were in two big ones though. Oh, forgetting Sarah Marshall?
1:10:10 Speaker 03 No.
1:10:10 Bill Simmons? No, I mean, uh, no, Wedding Crashers?
1:10:13 Speaker 03 Wedding Crashers.
1:10:14 Bill Simmons? Oh, yeah.
1:10:14 Speaker 03 Yeah, okay. It's worth it if I get the Dan Band.
1:10:20 Sean Fennessey? I think it's a great choice, the Jonathan Richman stuff.
1:10:22 Speaker 03 It feels very 90's.
1:10:23 Bill Simmons? I, it does.
1:10:25 Chris Ryan? Cutting the hitchhiker and then the subsequent interrogation scene is non-negotiable.
1:10:29 Speaker 03 When we do get the kindergarten cop guy.
1:10:32 Chris Ryan? Speaking of which.
1:10:32 Speaker 03 Which I like Leo DiCaprio mean.
1:10:34 Chris Ryan? Ruffel O'Hana Ruback is, uh, Richard Tyson, the sweating detective.
1:10:37 Sean Fennessey? Just tough. He's really going for it.
1:10:39 Bill Simmons? Tough month on the rewatchables for Richard.
1:10:40 Speaker 03 What do you think? He crushed it in this movie.
1:10:42 Bill Simmons? We're gonna take Burnmore break and then, uh, do What's Age the Worst?
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1:11:16 Bill Simmons? This episode is brought to you by Trivia. Sweeteners are like movies. The best ones don't leave an aftertaste. That's why Trivia Alolos Plus Stevia Sweetener and Monk Fruit Sweetener is a smooth, balanced tri-blend that delivers sugar-like sweetness with zero calories per serving and no aftertaste. If you're looking for a better way to enjoy sweetness with zero calories per serving, you really need to try Trivia Alolos Plus Stevia Sweetener and Monk Fruit Sweetener. Available online and nationwide at Kroger, Target, and your favorite local grocery retailer. All right, What's Age the Worst? Brett Favre?
1:11:56 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:11:57 Bill Simmons? It's a great casting in 1998. Now it's kinda weird to see him.
1:12:01 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:12:02 Bill Simmons? It's tough. Tough times for Brett. Also quarterback the Jets. And then, uh, Warren, Warren, I think, even the Farrellys are like, yeah, we probably fucked that up. We should have cast somebody who was special needs.
1:12:16 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:12:17 Bill Simmons? That's not how they thought in the 90's.
1:12:20 Bill Simmons? Peter said, "I wouldn't do that today. I would hire an actor with intellectual disabilities. They're all over the place." At that time, they weren't, didn't get the opportunities they're getting today. I don't have any other woods age of words.
1:12:30 Chris Ryan? Uh, I, I didn't really have, I mean, once you go in on the premise of this film, it's, you know.
1:12:36 Bill Simmons? It's a comedy. Um, Sean, you have flex category?
1:12:40 Sean Fennessey? Yeah, usually this category is reserved for thrillers and horror films, but when would I have died? Um, is not the zipper. It's not when my date's father would have come into the room. It's when the police officer would come through the window. That's when I would have died from zipping my Johnson up in my zipper.
1:12:58 Bill Simmons? Police officer would have intimidated you?
1:13:00 Sean Fennessey? Yeah, I think that would have scared stiff. Yeah, yeah. That's when I would have died.
1:13:05 Bill Simmons? I like it. The CR thinks Luke Wilson could have been Harrison Ford hottest take award. What do you got, CR?
1:13:11 Chris Ryan? Is Ted the most deranged of all these guys?
1:13:16 Chris Ryan? Is Ted sitting around, well, I, you know, obviously.
1:13:19 Bill Simmons? I would rank Tucker first. I think Tucker's a fucking maniac.
1:13:22 Chris Ryan? It's not the like, here's the, here's the mid-speed Ted.
1:13:24 Sean Fennessey? Ted's lies are just kinda harmless.
1:13:27 Bill Simmons? Does Ted have a, does Ted have a job?
1:13:29 Chris Ryan? He's a magazine writer.
1:13:30 Sean Fennessey? Yeah.
1:13:31 Bill Simmons? Magazine writer?
1:13:32 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:13:32 Sean Fennessey? Yeah.
1:13:33 Chris Ryan? I'm curious what kind of pieces he writes. It's funny when Cameron Diaz is like, you could just work from anywhere.
1:13:38 Sean Fennessey? Yeah, searing explorations of fascism in The New Yorker.
1:13:42 Chris Ryan? Yeah, he's just like, God, I'm really obsessed with this girl.
1:13:44 Bill Simmons? So what's the case for Ted being most deranged?
1:13:45 Chris Ryan? Well, I mean, hanging on to that obsession for so long that you're still in therapy about it.
1:13:51 Bill Simmons? You horrified her entire family in the course of 15 minutes.
1:13:54 Chris Ryan? Like, it's not really, I understand why the severity of your injury made you go retreat within yourself, but like, you have plenty of opportunities probably to reach out. You stalk her, you use a private investigator to go after her. That private investigator winds up lying to you about his results, but then you still pursue her all the way down I-95. Nearly get arrested for murder and yeah, obviously learned some lessons, but I think that there's something about the lengths of what he goes to that suggests he might be like the craziest one of the three.
1:14:28 Bill Simmons? Solid take. What do you got?
1:14:30 Sean Fennessey? Ben Stiller is the greatest cuck actor of all time.
1:14:33 Bill Simmons? Wow, who was his competition?
1:14:34 Sean Fennessey? If you need a cuck.
1:14:36 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:14:36 Sean Fennessey? If you need a guy, if you need a bitch boy, right? If you need somebody who is like-
1:14:41 Bill Simmons? He makes the most sense.
1:14:42 Sean Fennessey? Not only does he make the most sense, but there actually is like not a second choice. There's not a comic actor who you could be like-
1:14:49 Chris Ryan? I'm gonna humiliate you.
1:14:50 Sean Fennessey? The whole premise of the movie is this guy is a loser and will lose all the way until the end and then he'll get the girl. But that's the premise of like nine one hundred million dollar Ben Stiller movies.
1:15:01 Bill Simmons? Really good.
1:15:04 Bill Simmons? So mine is also a casting would if.
1:15:08 Bill Simmons? The Farrelly brothers wanted to cast Drew Bledsoe as, as the Brett Favre character. And he passed because he had just had this mosh club incident.
1:15:19 Bill Simmons? Which was a big deal.
1:15:20 Chris Ryan? Who was, what, what was the concert?
1:15:22 Bill Simmons? They were, I forget what, who that, who was playing, but it was-
1:15:24 Chris Ryan? It wasn't Everclear, was it? I think it might have been.
1:15:27 Bill Simmons? It might have been Everclear. It was, I think it was in Providence.
1:15:30 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:15:30 Bill Simmons? Or maybe it was in Ba- I don't remember what city it was in, but-
1:15:33 Chris Ryan? It was Everclear.
1:15:34 Bill Simmons? Yeah. The Pats-
1:15:35 Chris Ryan? That's knowledge right there.
1:15:36 Bill Simmons? Him and a couple of offensive linemen and it was just bad and it became a huge deal and like the pay, this was, Pete Carroll was the coach. This, this, the inmates are running the asylum kind of stuff and um, right around then he got, and he was like, I better not do it. My hottest take is, I think this is the most underrated thing that ever happened to Patriot fans. Because if he takes this movie and it makes three hundred and eighty million dollars and he becomes a little bit cooler, that confidence then goes on the field. And I don't know if Tom Brady ever happens.
1:16:09 Chris Ryan? Do you think that this, does he still do the Everclear concert in this version of events?
1:16:13 Bill Simmons? He'd already done it. That's why, yeah, that, he just said yes anyway.
1:16:15 Chris Ryan? So you think he does this movie, redeems himself somehow, becomes a huge movie star?
1:16:18 Bill Simmons? Redeems himself, becomes, he's, goes Jerry Maguire in this, he's got his mojo back. Tom Brady's right there. He's like, you know what? I was in there, Something About Mary made three hundred fifty million dollars. I'm not, you're, I'm not afraid of you.
1:16:33 Chris Ryan? He starts dating Cameron Diaz.
1:16:35 Bill Simmons? Yeah, maybe he doesn't run out of bounds. He just runs out of bounds instead of taking the hit from Mo Lewis because he's not like insecure. He's just out.
1:16:43 Chris Ryan? Yeah, and this version of events, it's like Cameron Diaz dates Drew Bledsoe and then Neil deGrasse Tyson and then like-
1:16:48 Bill Simmons? Right. And then we don't get six Super Bowls.
1:16:52 Sean Fennessey? But have you considered that that level of confidence in Drew Bledsoe could have led to Super Bowls from Drew Bledsoe?
1:16:59 Bill Simmons? Very possible. I'm just saying it's an alternate universe for the Pats fans.
1:17:03 Sean Fennessey? Would you rather have Tom knowing what we know now about Tom?
1:17:07 Bill Simmons? I'd rather have the six Super Bowls, and I'm fine with Brett Favre being in the movie.
1:17:10 Sean Fennessey? What about six Super Bowls from Drew and then not Tom, you know, not choosing a rooting interest in the Super Bowl, you know, some of the Deflategate stuff?
1:17:19 Bill Simmons? I don't think he could have won the six.
1:17:21 Sean Fennessey? Bringing in his health consultant.
1:17:23 Bill Simmons? Maybe one Alex Guerra.
1:17:24 Sean Fennessey? Getting cucked by Gisele Bundchen, like all these things that happened, you know?
1:17:29 Chris Ryan? He gets cucked by Gisele Bundchen, they crew apart.
1:17:31 Speaker 03 That video where he kisses his kids on the lips, that was a tough one.
1:17:33 Sean Fennessey? Yeah, kiss his on the lips on video.
1:17:36 Speaker 03 You don't get that then.
1:17:37 Sean Fennessey? What else happened to Tom Brady, some other stuff?
1:17:39 Bill Simmons? I'm sorry I brought this up.
1:17:41 Chris Ryan? You're maybe not the warmest room to do it in, yeah.
1:17:44 Bill Simmons? Casting what ifs, Owen Wilson and Jon Stewart were the other two candidates for Ted? Bill Murray was considered for Pat Haley, but the Fairley's thought he was too old. Vince Vaughn, Cuba Gooding Jr. also considered for Pat Haley. I think Vince Vaughn could have done this.
1:17:57 Chris Ryan? I think he could have, but I think.
1:17:58 Bill Simmons? I'm glad we ended up with Matt Dillon.
1:18:00 Chris Ryan? There's an element of Vince Vaughn that I think also would have been like a little mug into the camera, like.
1:18:04 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:18:04 Sean Fennessey? Is he, is he too tall? He was gonna be Ted, Vince Vaughn?
1:18:08 Bill Simmons? No.
1:18:09 Sean Fennessey? Oh, for Pat, he could have done Pat.
1:18:11 Bill Simmons? Yeah, I think he could have done Pat. And then they also offered the Mary part, the Brett Favre part to Steve Young, but he turned it down due to the film's coarse nature.
1:18:20 Chris Ryan? Because he said the Mormons would all come out and see it, and that they would reject him.
1:18:24 Sean Fennessey? Where do you stand on Steve Young?
1:18:26 Chris Ryan? Uh, always admired that he knew when to hang him up.
1:18:30 Sean Fennessey? Yeah.
1:18:33 Bill Simmons? The weirdest what if, which I did not know.
1:18:37 Bill Simmons? I did not know this one. Chris Farley turned down Warren.
1:18:41 Chris Ryan? This would have been a real big problem.
1:18:44 Bill Simmons? They couldn't have ensured him anyway. He did dirty work, and then he died as they were making the movie, so.
1:18:51 Bill Simmons? Probably a good miss by all parties, but.
1:18:54 Chris Ryan? I think that that would have been really distracting.
1:18:57 Bill Simmons? I think that ruins the movie.
1:18:59 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:19:00 Speaker 03 I think it would have been seen as more, it would have aged worse.
1:19:02 Chris Ryan? Yes.
1:19:03 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:19:03 Sean Fennessey? Yeah.
1:19:05 Bill Simmons? Best that guy award, not eligible. Lenny Clark and Steve Sweeney, Richard Tyson, Harlan Williams. Cause I'm making them not eligible.
1:19:12 Sean Fennessey? Richard Tyson is not eligible?
1:19:14 Bill Simmons? We just covered him two weeks ago. He was crisp. People know Richard Tyson is now.
1:19:18 Chris Ryan? Right?
1:19:19 Speaker 03 Do I think people know his name is Richard Tyson?
1:19:21 Bill Simmons? No, they probably don't. Fine, he's eligible.
1:19:23 Speaker 03 I don't.
1:19:25 Bill Simmons? Did you know who played Magda?
1:19:26 Chris Ryan? Yeah, Lynn Shay.
1:19:27 Sean Fennessey? Sure, Lynn Shay.
1:19:28 Bill Simmons? Lynn Shay.
1:19:28 Sean Fennessey? Bob Shay's sister, yeah.
1:19:30 Bill Simmons? Uh, we also have Sanford from Sex and the City, AKA Willie Garson.
1:19:33 Sean Fennessey? That's right.
1:19:34 Bill Simmons? Wearing the long wig with like big zits on him.
1:19:35 Chris Ryan? That's who I had.
1:19:37 Speaker 03 That's a good one.
1:19:37 Sean Fennessey? I've got him on the list.
1:19:38 Bill Simmons? I think the winner is W. Earl Brown as Warren.
1:19:41 Sean Fennessey? He's up there. Deadwood fans rejoice.
1:19:43 Chris Ryan? The Master?
1:19:43 Bill Simmons? He was Kenny the cameraman in Scream.
1:19:45 Chris Ryan? Mm-hmm.
1:19:46 Bill Simmons? He was in Deadwood, he was in The Master, and he apparently had three years in NYPD Blue.
1:19:50 Chris Ryan? Joaquin's the, Joaquin and him getting in the fight in The Master, right?
1:19:53 Sean Fennessey? That's right. Um, real ones would go, I think, Rob Moran, who is in Dumb and Dumber, Kingpin, and There's Something About Mary. He's the bartender in Dumb and Dumber.
1:20:01 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:20:02 Sean Fennessey? He's one of the bad guys, Stanley Osmansky in Kingpin.
1:20:06 Chris Ryan? Hmm.
1:20:06 Sean Fennessey? And he's clearly a Farrelly Brothers extended player. He's in The Troop, and he pops up in a bunch of their movies. He's in Shawl Al, I mean, myself and Irene. He's the other cop. He's
1:20:15 Chris Ryan? Oh, that guy.
1:20:16 Sean Fennessey? He's Tyson's partner.
1:20:17 Chris Ryan? Oh, that's a good that guy.
1:20:18 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:20:18 Chris Ryan? Okay.
1:20:19 Bill Simmons? Dion Waiters. Our nominees include Avery Brooks, Richard Jenkins, Jeffrey Tambor, Magda, Harlan Williams, Chris Elliott, Brett Favre, Mongo. We don't see Mongo, but I think he's in here anyway.
1:20:32 Sean Fennessey? Sure.
1:20:32 Bill Simmons? And then Jonathan Richman. What do you got, CR?
1:20:37 Chris Ryan? I think it's Jenkins.
1:20:39 Sean Fennessey? I don't, did you say Keith David?
1:20:42 Bill Simmons? Oh, I didn't. I don't know why he's
1:20:43 Sean Fennessey? I mean, Keith David is a nobody.
1:20:43 Bill Simmons? I said Avery Brooks, and I meant Keith. I just got Avery Brooks and Keith David confused.
1:20:47 Chris Ryan? That's why I was like, who the fuck is Avery Brooks?
1:20:50 Bill Simmons? Yeah. Yeah. Keith David.
1:20:51 Sean Fennessey? Keith David.
1:20:52 Bill Simmons? We did a whole segment before about how those guys, you could have swapped them in different roles.
1:20:56 Chris Ryan? I think there will be a contingent of listeners who think it's Harlan Williams.
1:21:01 Bill Simmons? I would go for, uh
1:21:03 Chris Ryan? They're the same people who don't think Richard Tyson is a that guy, you know?
1:21:07 Bill Simmons? I think my answer, Harlan Williams is pretty good.
1:21:11 Sean Fennessey? You know that old children's tale from the sea?
1:21:16 Bill Simmons? What do you, who'd you pick?
1:21:18 Chris Ryan? Keith David.
1:21:18 Sean Fennessey? Keith David.
1:21:21 Bill Simmons? I think it's Keith David.
1:21:22 Chris Ryan? Okay. I'll not vote.
1:21:23 Bill Simmons? Even though I just called him Avery Brooks. Recasting couch director city.
1:21:29 Bill Simmons? Can I test drive Norm MacDonald as Tucker? For you guys?
1:21:33 Sean Fennessey? Oh.
1:21:33 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:21:34 Sean Fennessey? Doing the British accent?
1:21:36 Bill Simmons? Maybe we get rid of the British accent for Norm, but he's just doing Tucker pretending he hurt his back, but now he's delivering pizzas.
1:21:42 Sean Fennessey? What if Norm is Pat?
1:21:44 Bill Simmons? Norm is Pat could have worked too. I just feel like Norm MacDonald could have been in this movie. Could he have been the Richard Tyson?
1:21:49 Chris Ryan? Could he have been Woge?
1:21:51 Bill Simmons? He's, could have been Woge. Like, I just feel like we needed him in this somewhere.
1:21:54 Sean Fennessey? He was busy making dirty work.
1:21:55 Bill Simmons? I get it.
1:21:56 Sean Fennessey? I, I mean, Nor- Norm fits in perfectly with this movie.
1:21:59 Bill Simmons? If Norm is Tucker in this movie, I think is better.
1:22:02 Sean Fennessey? Can, can I make a suggestion in this category? I, I want to recast the genre. Cause I think you can remake the movie exactly the same, but as a lurid thriller.
1:22:10 Chris Ryan? Oh my God, it would be such a great From Hell.
1:22:13 Bill Simmons? A From Hell movie.
1:22:13 Sean Fennessey? Yes, but it's like, it's like five stalkers from hell that are all going after Mary.
1:22:18 Chris Ryan? Yeah, and she keeps like opening up her heart and getting it like, and then finding out the guy is a complete lie.
1:22:23 Sean Fennessey? Exactly.
1:22:23 Bill Simmons? I feel like Black Stars might be making this right now.
1:22:26 Sean Fennessey? It's like Power, season seven.
1:22:28 Bill Simmons? Or MGM.
1:22:30 Chris Ryan? MGM Plus, you mean?
1:22:31 Bill Simmons? MGM Plus.
1:22:32 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:22:33 Speaker 03 I mean, the Chris Elliott turn is legitimately chilling in this movie.
1:22:37 Sean Fennessey? Yeah, it's like Pacific Heights or something.
1:22:38 Speaker 03 There's two minutes where it's very kind of scary.
1:22:40 Chris Ryan? Yeah. Well, when he's got like, his face is full of boils.
1:22:43 Speaker 03 He's like twitching, he's got the eye boil.
1:22:45 Chris Ryan? He's got her shoes.
1:22:45 Speaker 03 Yeah. Yeah, the shoe thing really deflates it. They very smartly pivoted to having it not, cause you obviously think it's gonna be like him doing something physical to her and he's just smelling her shoes.
1:22:53 Sean Fennessey? He stole all my shoes.
1:22:54 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:22:55 Bill Simmons? Craig, you have a flex category.
1:22:57 Speaker 03 I'm gonna wear, put on my van hat and I'm gonna do a li- a top five list. Top five most shocking and hilarious male nudity in a major comedy.
1:23:07 Chris Ryan? Okay.
1:23:07 Speaker 03 The zipper scene in There's Something About Mary.
1:23:09 Chris Ryan? Mm-hmm.
1:23:10 Speaker 03 The ball sack on the drum set in Step Brothers.
1:23:12 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:23:13 Speaker 03 Jason Segel, full nude, surprise and forgetting Sarah Marshall.
1:23:16 Chris Ryan? Yep.
1:23:17 Speaker 03 The Borat naked hotel fight.
1:23:18 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:23:20 Speaker 03 And Ken Jeong naked crowbar scene in The Hangover.
1:23:23 Sean Fennessey? So those are all comedies?
1:23:25 Speaker 03 Yeah, that's the category.
1:23:26 Sean Fennessey? Oh, it's just comedies?
1:23:27 Speaker 03 Yes.
1:23:27 Chris Ryan? Funniest nude.
1:23:29 Speaker 03 Most shocking and hilarious male nudity.
1:23:31 Chris Ryan? Badly Ted is funnier?
1:23:32 Sean Fennessey? Well, To Live and Die in L.A. when Peterson is just like letting it go, I laughed.
1:23:36 Speaker 03 The other contenders, M.C. Ganey in Sideways?
1:23:40 Sean Fennessey? Oh, that's a good one.
1:23:41 Bill Simmons? That's a really good one. Yeah, we could see him running.
1:23:44 Speaker 03 And then the giant devil penis in This Is the End.
1:23:46 Bill Simmons? Was this a Reddit search for you or no?
1:23:49 Chris Ryan? Yeah, how did you Google it?
1:23:50 Speaker 03 I delicately investigated. Yeah.
1:23:53 Sean Fennessey? Hey, Claude?
1:23:53 Speaker 03 Yeah. You'd be surprised. There are Reddit threads about this.
1:23:56 Chris Ryan? This is the first time you talked to Claude. Just like, hey.
1:23:59 Bill Simmons? Was the search?
1:24:00 Chris Ryan? Been curious about AI.
1:24:01 Bill Simmons? Comedies, male nude scene penis?
1:24:05 Speaker 03 I really made the, I made sure that Google knew, like humorous male nudity scenes that are jokes. Funny male nudity scenes.
1:24:12 Sean Fennessey? Let's get your search history up on the screen right now. Can we get that?
1:24:16 Speaker 03 I got nothing to hide. I stand by this top five.
1:24:18 Chris Ryan? It's just Mackay Lemon tape.
1:24:20 Bill Simmons? Can I give you the answer?
1:24:21 Speaker 03 Okay.
1:24:21 Bill Simmons? First of all, great category.
1:24:22 Speaker 03 It's not on this list, the answer?
1:24:24 Bill Simmons? No, the answer is Borat. That's the fucking funniest.
1:24:27 Speaker 03 Hotel fight?
1:24:28 Bill Simmons? Borat ever with the fucking Azamat.
1:24:33 Bill Simmons? Like, that's it. That's the peak of everything.
1:24:36 Sean Fennessey? Another movie that had the same kind of energy.
1:24:37 Chris Ryan? Yeah, Borat in the theater is the same thing.
1:24:41 Bill Simmons? Half-assed internet research.
1:24:44 Bill Simmons? The scene when Ted gets his skirt stuck in his pants was inspired by a real incident. Farrelly Brothers, their sister was listening to records and one of the kids went to the bathroom. Friends with their sister had that happen. Not the same thing, but some of it. When Ted falls off the stretcher, not scripted, they kept it in. It was a mistake, Ben Stiller fell off. The waterfront.
1:25:04 Chris Ryan? You see him grab his arm, kind of like realistically.
1:25:07 Bill Simmons? The waterfront house where Mary lived in Miami was destroyed in 2008 by a construction accident. It's gone. High school scene in the beginning was shot at Plantations City Hall in Florida. They saw a rough cut, they thought it was too raunchy and they requested to not be acknowledged in the credits. When you offend Florida, you've really pulled something off. And then we mentioned the Tambor scene and then um and then the Diaz worried that the gel scene was gonna gross people out, so they shot two versions.
1:25:38 Chris Ryan? There's also like a, like a pretty pointless, but like, I guess, you know, it's like if you're curious, there's one of the extended cut scenes is about like Ted's family. It's like, oh Ted's brother and like donating kidneys to the brother. There's like, they build it up a little bit more about what he's been doing in between.
1:25:56 Bill Simmons? Apex Mountain, still or no? We're not there yet.
1:25:59 Sean Fennessey? Okay, I don't have a star.
1:26:01 Bill Simmons? Diaz, I think yes. I think she comes out of this.
1:26:05 Chris Ryan? Is this her biggest movie?
1:26:07 Bill Simmons? Cause it's my best friend's wedding the year before, then this, and I feel like she is the juice. Now that leads to Charlie's Angels. She gets 20 million for Charlie's Angels 2, I think.
1:26:16 Sean Fennessey? Are you sure it's not Charlie's Angels?
1:26:18 Bill Simmons? Might be, but I feel like she was the, she kind of takes Julia Roberts' ironically, like probably her title here. Right? I think she could have done whatever she wanted after this movie.
1:26:31 Sean Fennessey? Yeah.
1:26:32 Bill Simmons? She's like two rom-coms late. When I was looking at the IMDb, cause she eventually does in the holiday, Sweetest Thing isn't really a rom-com, but.
1:26:40 Chris Ryan? You don't think so?
1:26:41 Sean Fennessey? She, she was.
1:26:42 Bill Simmons? Well, it's a comedy.
1:26:44 Sean Fennessey? She just made more sex comedies than rom-coms. She was not really a, she's in the holiday, but she was not really a rom-com person.
1:26:50 Bill Simmons? She didn't make like a wow you were sleeping or, but she really took some chances.
1:26:55 Sean Fennessey? You know, she did some movies like that.
1:26:57 Bill Simmons? She did the Gangs of New York. Matt Dillon, no.
1:27:02 Sean Fennessey? What's Matt Dillon's Apex Mountain?
1:27:03 Bill Simmons? I think it's in the 80s.
1:27:06 Chris Ryan? Do you think it's Outsiders?
1:27:07 Bill Simmons? I think it.
1:27:08 Chris Ryan? Or Rumblefish or whatever?
1:27:09 Bill Simmons? He felt like he was the biggest teen actor in the world in the 83, 84 range for a couple of years then.
1:27:17 Bill Simmons? The Farrelly Brothers, yes.
1:27:19 Sean Fennessey? So.
1:27:20 Bill Simmons? This leads to me, myself and Irene a year later, which is a bonkers movie, a year and a half.
1:27:25 Sean Fennessey? I wrote down the Farrellys, and I think it's probably the answer, but, you know, Peter Farrelly won Best Picture.
1:27:34 Sean Fennessey? Like, whatever, 20 years later.
1:27:36 Bill Simmons? So would you say this was Bobby Farrelly's apex mountain, but Peter Farrelly was winning for Green Book?
1:27:41 Chris Ryan? I think it's, I think it's theirs just because.
1:27:45 Bill Simmons? As a combo, this is it.
1:27:46 Chris Ryan? I think Peter Farrelly and Bobby Farrelly would probably go out and like, they, they could do a screening for this movie tomorrow and it would be full and they would be like, arts, I don't know that, that Green Book has that, that legacy.
1:27:55 Bill Simmons? You can't have a comedy do better than this, I don't think. Like, this movie was an absolute comedy phenomenon that made a ton of money and created, either created stars or made stars bigger.
1:28:06 Chris Ryan? It's also just so striking, cause like, we just did Ghostbusters and to watch a movie where it's like, Ghostbusters still at the last 20 minutes is like, kind of a sci-fi.
1:28:15 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:28:15 Chris Ryan? Movie, like, a lot of the jokes in Ghostbusters are said to the side of like, the plot. This movie is like, every scene is a gag. Every scene builds up to a big, big punchline.
1:28:27 Sean Fennessey? Mm-hmm.
1:28:28 Bill Simmons? The Providence Bruins? No. Chris Elliott?
1:28:32 Chris Ryan? When was the Providence Bruins apex mountain?
1:28:34 Bill Simmons? Huge poster in the Ben, one bedroom scene with Ben Stiller.
1:28:37 Chris Ryan? But I'm saying, was there another apex mountain?
1:28:39 Bill Simmons? They won a couple AHL titles.
1:28:40 Chris Ryan? Okay.
1:28:42 Sean Fennessey? Okay.
1:28:43 Bill Simmons? Chris Elliott?
1:28:46 Chris Ryan? Letterman?
1:28:46 Bill Simmons? Yeah, I think it's.
1:28:47 Chris Ryan? Letterman?
1:28:48 Sean Fennessey? Apex, it's probably this. I mean, maybe that first episode of Get a Life where I was like, it's, it's happening. Like, it's like, the premiere episode, and it's like, it's on Fox, was it Sunday night, like, against, like, after The Simpsons, right? Like, that was, right, Herman's Head Hours.
1:29:03 Chris Ryan? I was more of a Herman's Head guy.
1:29:05 Bill Simmons? Would you go funny come scenes or something else here?
1:29:07 Chris Ryan? I mean, Buffalo, uh, Migs is pretty high up there for funny come scenes, but it's unintentional comedy. Uh, this is the most.
1:29:15 Bill Simmons? Intentional come scene funny.
1:29:17 Sean Fennessey? What are some other come scenes?
1:29:19 Chris Ryan? Craig, wanna Google that for us?
1:29:21 Sean Fennessey? Yeah, I'll pull that up.
1:29:23 Bill Simmons? Funniest cum scenes. Hold on, guys. Uh, Franks and Beans?
1:29:28 Sean Fennessey? Apex Mountain for?
1:29:29 Chris Ryan? The terminology?
1:29:30 Sean Fennessey? The phrase, or?
1:29:31 Bill Simmons? Franks and Beans.
1:29:32 Chris Ryan? I think it's the funniest penis injury I've ever seen on.
1:29:34 Bill Simmons? I will say this. Franks and Beans has been a running joke in my house ever since about actual Franks and Beans and like, uh, you know, changing.
1:29:44 Sean Fennessey? You could, this could go anywhere. Like, I don't know where you're gonna take this.
1:29:47 Bill Simmons? Changing our son's diaper.
1:29:49 Sean Fennessey? Okay.
1:29:49 Chris Ryan? Okay.
1:29:49 Bill Simmons? Like, make sure you get under the Franks and Beans, like that. It's just been in the LexCon, in the Simmons house. Sorry, Ben. Miami comedies? I'm gonna say yes.
1:30:00 Chris Ryan? Uh, yeah, okay.
1:30:02 Sean Fennessey? Miami Vice is hilarious to me.
1:30:04 Bill Simmons? Miami movies? Gets a little more interesting.
1:30:08 Chris Ryan? I think it's Miami Vice.
1:30:10 Bill Simmons? I think so as well.
1:30:11 Chris Ryan? Are you excited?
1:30:11 Sean Fennessey? It's Scarface. What are we talking about?
1:30:13 Chris Ryan? From Miami Vice 85?
1:30:14 Bill Simmons? Not ready to talk about it.
1:30:15 Chris Ryan? Okay. Did you want, you wanna do like a separate little segment at the end of this?
1:30:19 Bill Simmons? Did you hear Sean's idea? Flipping him?
1:30:21 Chris Ryan? Flipping him. Oh, making, oh, making.
1:30:24 Sean Fennessey? MBJ is Crockett.
1:30:26 Bill Simmons? MBJ is Crockett in Austin Butler's tubs. That got me excited.
1:30:30 Sean Fennessey? Right? Isn't that the move?
1:30:31 Chris Ryan? That is the move.
1:30:32 Bill Simmons? I don't think Austin Butler can be Sonny Crockett.
1:30:35 Sean Fennessey? But MBJ can be Sonny Crockett.
1:30:36 Bill Simmons? Have we ever seen him smoke a cigarette?
1:30:39 Chris Ryan? Uh, I feel like he smoked cigarettes and caught stealing, right?
1:30:42 Sean Fennessey? He does.
1:30:42 Bill Simmons? I'm gonna have to research it.
1:30:43 Speaker 03 Is that not what they're doing? It's not MBJ as Sonny?
1:30:45 Sean Fennessey? I don't know.
1:30:46 Speaker 03 I feel like it would have to be.
1:30:47 Chris Ryan? Uh, that would be weird for Michael B. Jordan to be like, I'm happy to play second.
1:30:52 Sean Fennessey? Agreed.
1:30:53 Chris Ryan? Fiddle to Austin Butler. I just won an Oscar.
1:30:56 Bill Simmons? Jamie did it?
1:30:58 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:30:59 Sean Fennessey? And he was bigger. At the time, and had come up, was coming off an Oscar win.
1:31:02 Bill Simmons? Crazy suntans?
1:31:04 Sean Fennessey? It's actually the same thing. It was coming off the Ray win.
1:31:07 Bill Simmons? Crazy brown suntans? I think yes. Jonathan Richmond definitely is. Cruise or Hanks?
1:31:13 Chris Ryan? I had Cruise.
1:31:15 Bill Simmons? Cruise as, as Ted or somebody else?
1:31:17 Chris Ryan? I would like to see Cruise with the chompers as Healy.
1:31:20 Sean Fennessey? See, I think actually 80's Hanks could do Pat Healy.
1:31:24 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:31:24 Bill Simmons? Oh, interesting. I had Hanks either as, as Ted or Pat Healy. Hanks could have done either part.
1:31:29 Chris Ryan? Cruise could have done the, uh, the hitchhiker.
1:31:35 Chris Ryan? Seven Minute Abs.
1:31:38 Bill Simmons? I think Hanks is the answer. Scorsese or Spielberg? Tough one for these guys.
1:31:42 Chris Ryan? I think it's Marty and it's Cape Fear. It's basically, it's just a thriller.
1:31:46 Sean Fennessey? That's good.
1:31:47 Bill Simmons? The Catherine Tramell, would you throw your life away for this obvious stay away award?
1:31:51 Chris Ryan? Is that for Mary?
1:31:52 Sean Fennessey? Who's the stay away?
1:31:53 Bill Simmons? I think it's Mary, just because she has all these psychos after her.
1:31:56 Sean Fennessey? Oh, yeah.
1:31:57 Chris Ryan? Oh, once you find out her dating history and it's like, you've dated NFL quarterback and three guys who've broken-
1:32:04 Sean Fennessey? Yeah, she's a maniac tractor.
1:32:05 Speaker 03 You're looking over your shoulder the entire time. You'd get murdered by some stalker.
1:32:08 Bill Simmons? I would still throw it away. Picky Knits. Why does, Mary's an orthopedic surgeon, but lives in this weird complex where she shares a balcony with Magda? What's going on here?
1:32:20 Chris Ryan? I, I, I feel like this is like basically right out of like 90's sitcoms where it's like, yeah, they all live together. It's like, why, why would they all live together?
1:32:27 Sean Fennessey? Why would you live with Magda?
1:32:28 Bill Simmons? Wouldn't she be in like a, on the 34th floor of some high rise in South Beach?
1:32:32 Chris Ryan? Is it supposed to be that she's Magda's next door neighbor and is like, kind of shares a balcony with her? Or does she live with Magda?
1:32:38 Bill Simmons? No, she, she lives next door.
1:32:39 Speaker 03 She explains it, right? Magda's husband dies and was lonely and Cameron Diaz is like the most altruistic human that's ever lived. And so it's doing her a favor by keeping her company.
1:32:48 Chris Ryan? And then Magda starts nailing the homeless dock worker.
1:32:52 Bill Simmons? Speaking of Mary, does, does she have patients? Is she working? What's going on here?
1:32:58 Chris Ryan? She seems to like-
1:32:59 Sean Fennessey? She sees Tucker in her office.
1:33:01 Chris Ryan? Yeah, but that's the, otherwise it's like during the day, she's like driving around going to-
1:33:05 Bill Simmons? No surgeries?
1:33:06 Chris Ryan? Play golf and buy like checkers for-
1:33:08 Bill Simmons? She's working at the, at the camp?
1:33:11 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:33:11 Bill Simmons? She's checking out her golf swing?
1:33:12 Sean Fennessey? You wanted more scenes of her examining patients.
1:33:14 Chris Ryan? Well, that might explain why she's living in a small apartment.
1:33:17 Sean Fennessey? Not getting a lot of business.
1:33:18 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:33:18 Bill Simmons? Would have liked to have seen her at least like move somebody's knee around and been like, how's your ACL feel? Better?
1:33:24 Sean Fennessey? That's is that what happens?
1:33:27 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:33:27 Sean Fennessey? Okay.
1:33:27 Bill Simmons? Does that feel better? Wouldn't Ted have known that he went to the same high school as Woogie?
1:33:32 Chris Ryan? Woogie went to what, four towns over?
1:33:34 Sean Fennessey? He went to Borington Falls or whatever.
1:33:36 Bill Simmons? But she knew Mary's, okay, same sit, same town at least.
1:33:40 Sean Fennessey? Yeah.
1:33:41 Bill Simmons? Or same neighboring town.
1:33:42 Chris Ryan? He says four towns over it. We heard about it, four towns over.
1:33:44 Bill Simmons? But he knows who Woogie is.
1:33:45 Sean Fennessey? Yep.
1:33:47 Bill Simmons? He knows this guy's name is Don Wuganowski. Never put the two and two together. I guess Ted's not a rocket scientist.
1:33:52 Chris Ryan? Yeah, he's just a magazine writer.
1:33:55 Bill Simmons? I have one more big one, but do you have any?
1:33:56 Chris Ryan? I don't really know what Dom's plan here was. Dom gets the ball rolling downhill.
1:34:01 Bill Simmons? Yeah, why is he helping Ted but trying to sabotage him?
1:34:03 Sean Fennessey? He's a, he's a maniac.
1:34:05 Chris Ryan? But he wants Healy to find Mary. And then he's gonna go, but like when he's home watching cops, was he like, I might go? Down there anyway, or is he only go down there once Ted gets arrested?
1:34:17 Sean Fennessey? Well, he's relieved earlier in the film when he hears that Mary is overweight. And he is only interested really in coming down when he finds out it's a ruse, right?
1:34:26 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:34:26 Sean Fennessey? So then when he learns that Mary still looks good.
1:34:28 Bill Simmons? Breaking out. Yeah, yeah.
1:34:32 Bill Simmons? How would Ted ever get a hold of Brett Favre the week of the Dolphins game?
1:34:36 Sean Fennessey? Incredible question.
1:34:38 Bill Simmons? Brett Favre's like, 30 million people are watching NFL games.
1:34:41 Chris Ryan? I don't know, like back in 98, did those guys have to go through like massive film sessions? Wasn't it just kind of go out there and throw some frozen ropes?
1:34:47 Sean Fennessey? Out of all 30 starting quarterbacks in the NFL, who's the one you think you get closest to getting in touch with right now?
1:34:52 Chris Ryan? Oh, this is a fucking awesome question.
1:34:55 Bill Simmons? Not Jalen Hurts, I'll tell you that much.
1:34:56 Sean Fennessey? That's for darn sure.
1:34:59 Chris Ryan? I would have said Donald.
1:35:00 Bill Simmons? He's barely awake.
1:35:01 Chris Ryan? Before the Super Bowl. Why not?
1:35:05 Sean Fennessey? Cause, cause he seems like a regular guy?
1:35:06 Chris Ryan? He seems like the kind of guy who'd be like, I also like prestige television and I'll really watch. And D, maybe DM once.
1:35:12 Bill Simmons? I think, I think the answer is Drake May because you go through his wife.
1:35:16 Chris Ryan? I mean, wouldn't I just go through you?
1:35:17 Bill Simmons? No, you go through Drake May, his wife, and she's on social media all the time and.
1:35:22 Chris Ryan? And you'd be like, I want to hang out with your husband.
1:35:24 Bill Simmons? Chris Ryan of The Watch.
1:35:26 Chris Ryan? You see that?
1:35:29 Sean Fennessey? Is that how you introduce yourself to new people?
1:35:30 Bill Simmons? Chris Ryder of The Watch?
1:35:31 Sean Fennessey? No.
1:35:33 Sean Fennessey? No, who's like the least successful active quarterback?
1:35:36 Chris Ryan? I bet Bryce Young.
1:35:37 Sean Fennessey? Bryce Young?
1:35:38 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:35:38 Sean Fennessey? Number one overall pick?
1:35:39 Chris Ryan? Oh, this is stupid. Baker. Baker would definitely do it.
1:35:42 Sean Fennessey? Baker.
1:35:43 Bill Simmons? Isn't the answer Tyler Shuck? It's like 25, happy to be here.
1:35:46 Chris Ryan? No, but Baker actually would do bits and Baker would be like, yeah, man, I'll come hang out on like a Thursday.
1:35:51 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:35:51 Chris Ryan? I feel like Baker's like, does like three pods a week.
1:35:54 Bill Simmons? Any other pick and nits?
1:35:56 Sean Fennessey? I, to me, the biggest one is, like, I get Pat's move here. I, I, okay, let me go back. Is Pat's move
1:36:05 Sean Fennessey? to have sex with Mary, or is it to be in love forever with Mary?
1:36:09 Bill Simmons? I think he wants to marry Mary. Yeah, he loves her.
1:36:11 Sean Fennessey? Okay, so that plan is gonna fall apart at a certain point, right?
1:36:13 Bill Simmons? And he's probably gotta uncap his teeth.
1:36:15 Sean Fennessey? Right. And then you already pointed out Tucker Norm's long game is just baffling.
1:36:21 Chris Ryan? Yes. But speaks to Mary's flawed orthopedic surgery career.
1:36:25 Sean Fennessey? Right.
1:36:26 Bill Simmons? Sequel, prequel, prestige, should be All Black Cast or Untouchable. I think it's Untouchable. Is this movie better with?
1:36:31 Sean Fennessey? You sure you don't wanna do All Black Cast?
1:36:35 Bill Simmons? I think it's in Untouchable. Is this movie better with Wayne Jenkins, Fergie the Florist, Zane Lowe, Robert Evans, Ryan Ruko, or somebody else?
1:36:43 Chris Ryan? I definitely think that there, there was some space here for Fergie because of, because of the New England thing. And it's just like Fergie being like, you're gonna do this for me. You're gonna go down to Miami and find this Mary. Or I'm gonna clip ya.
1:37:02 Sean Fennessey? Fergie playing Ted?
1:37:03 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:37:07 Chris Ryan? Fergie is, Fergie is, I don't think I could handle Fergie as woggy.
1:37:16 Chris Ryan? Fergie the Florist watching Cops is not okay.
1:37:19 Bill Simmons? You don't wanna do Robert Evans exploring Mary?
1:37:23 Chris Ryan? When did Robert Evans come back into it?
1:37:25 Bill Simmons? Robert Evans is back.
1:37:26 Chris Ryan? Get hit me.
1:37:27 Bill Simmons? I don't know if you wanna do it.
1:37:29 Chris Ryan? Robert Evans or Robert Loggia?
1:37:31 Bill Simmons? Robert Evans.
1:37:32 Sean Fennessey? Was Robert Evans ever in the mix here?
1:37:34 Bill Simmons? I don't know. I just thought we'd throw him in. Mary had the kinda legs that could stop a room.
1:37:40 Chris Ryan? She had Nelly Korda's golf swing.
1:37:44 Bill Simmons? She loved meat on a stick. And she could hit a three iron 190 yards.
1:37:53 Sean Fennessey? Where did?
1:37:56 Bill Simmons? I introduced it as Steve McQueen and I never saw either of them again.
1:38:00 Chris Ryan? I introduced it to Brett Favre. She was living in Green Bay this time next year.
1:38:05 Bill Simmons? Brett Favre never won another game that year.
1:38:10 Bill Simmons? Just want to ask her, who gets it? You'd go Dylan?
1:38:12 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:38:13 Sean Fennessey? I'm going the prop master.
1:38:15 Bill Simmons? Oh, I'll go the script.
1:38:16 Sean Fennessey? We got Puffy, we got, we got Loeb come, you know?
1:38:21 Bill Simmons? Yeah. Probably an answerable questions. What replaced rest areas as the bathhouses of the 90s for the next three decades?
1:38:29 Chris Ryan? That's a great question, Bill.
1:38:30 Bill Simmons? What were the zero zeros?
1:38:33 Chris Ryan? I don't know how to answer that. I'm not sure I know.
1:38:36 Bill Simmons? Yeah, I don't, I don't really know either.
1:38:37 Chris Ryan? My question was-
1:38:39 Bill Simmons? I think Tinder hopped in there.
1:38:40 Chris Ryan? Yeah, I think on, online, like swipe left, swipe right.
1:38:43 Bill Simmons? Or, yeah, one of those swipe, yeah.
1:38:46 Chris Ryan? What's the, what's the podcast equivalent of emptying the baby batter before the date? It's like, is that like when I do the watch before the rewatch?
1:38:54 Sean Fennessey? Before we recorded, Bill was like, you guys fresh? You done any pods today? Don't want to be all used up, trying to squeeze a second one out.
1:39:03 Bill Simmons? Well, I had Zach last night. We recorded most of the podcast, but then we did the top late night. And he's like groggy and half asleep and it's the best version of Zach.
1:39:13 Chris Ryan? I think you guys were talking about IO and he's just like, I don't know what the fuck you do there.
1:39:19 Bill Simmons? I love groggy Zach. Did Ted and Mary get married?
1:39:24 Chris Ryan? Uh, I think they date for like six weeks and break up.
1:39:26 Bill Simmons? Yeah, cuz he's, he can't carry this.
1:39:29 Sean Fennessey? What do you mean?
1:39:30 Bill Simmons? No, she's, she's like marrying Ronnie Cyclone.
1:39:33 Chris Ryan? I also think she, he gets nuked by, we didn't talk about this, by Sarah Silverman and Candy Alexander. I don't think he lasts five seconds with them.
1:39:41 Bill Simmons? Oh, true. We forgot to mention them. They had two very stereotypical 90s rom com comedy, girls hanging out scenes.
1:39:48 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:39:49 Bill Simmons? This is my big one.
1:39:52 Bill Simmons? How did this movie not have a sequel?
1:39:56 Sean Fennessey? I assume they had a chance to do it.
1:39:59 Chris Ryan? This is just good thinking. This is like, I like, let's not fuck with this. Like, a sequel, a bad sequel to this movie screws up the integrity of this movie.
1:40:09 Bill Simmons? All right, you're saying that rationally.
1:40:13 Bill Simmons? Like-
1:40:13 Chris Ryan? I'm surprised too.
1:40:14 Bill Simmons? Like, somebody, somebody that is treating the movie industry like something that's not gonna bastardize good IP the moment they feel like they sniff some dollar signs. It's crazy to me. Ben Stiller is a much bigger star. Cameron Diaz is a much bigger star for this movie. The Farrelly brothers probably needed some sort of comeback thingy in the, around 2005, 06 range. And they never thought about doing a sequel?
1:40:37 Sean Fennessey? It's crazy. They did a sequel to Dumb and Dumber. They did the Three Stooges movie. They remade The Heartbreak Kid. So it's not like they were above this kind of thing.
1:40:45 Bill Simmons? I just, it's the all-time layup. I can't believe they didn't do it.
1:40:48 Chris Ryan? Do you think that there's anything-
1:40:49 Sean Fennessey? Could happen still now.
1:40:50 Chris Ryan? To the idea, so they basically, this movie comes out in 98. They essentially need to make this movie before 08 to get it under the social media wire? Because after that, it's just like, yeah, I know what Mary's doing. I, I watch, I look at her on Facebook.
1:41:04 Bill Simmons? Right.
1:41:04 Chris Ryan? And so like, there's only like a small window to kind of pull off that premise.
1:41:08 Sean Fennessey? Cameron Diaz is only 53. I mean, you could easily, we're getting a Spaceball sequel next year.
1:41:14 Bill Simmons? Well, we're getting the Meet the Fockers grandkids movie, right?
1:41:16 Sean Fennessey? Yeah.
1:41:18 Chris Ryan? Oh, that's, yeah, that's right.
1:41:19 Sean Fennessey? Meet Focker-in-law.
1:41:21 Bill Simmons? Focker-in-law. Uh, the secret handshake memorabilia you'd want from this movie. I have a great one for this, but you go.
1:41:26 Chris Ryan? Uh, Mary's signature golf bag.
1:41:28 Bill Simmons? Oh.
1:41:28 Sean Fennessey? Warren's earmuffs.
1:41:30 Bill Simmons? That's really good.
1:41:31 Chris Ryan? The headphones, right? So- You have earmuffs too?
1:41:33 Sean Fennessey? He wears the red earmuffs, yeah.
1:41:34 Bill Simmons? This is what Peter said about the hair gel.
1:41:38 Bill Simmons? Somebody hired a guy to make different loads. He showed up with a leather briefcase like a businessman that had 30 or 40 loads in it. We called Ben over and would hold one up at a time like an earring. People would say, no, too small, hmm, kind of lumpy. That's how we decided afterwards, we never saw the crew member again. He shed his briefcase and left. We were laughing like, who is that guy and how does he have that job? I'd want the briefcase.
1:42:04 Chris Ryan? The briefcase full of loads.
1:42:05 Sean Fennessey? You want the loads in the briefcase?
1:42:07 Bill Simmons? I want the whole package. I want everything.
1:42:10 Chris Ryan? They probably, like, calcified since 1998.
1:42:14 Sean Fennessey? What's some everyday use for the loads for you? What do you-
1:42:16 Bill Simmons? People come over like, hey, do you like something about Mary?
1:42:22 Bill Simmons? Have you seen my load case?
1:42:25 Bill Simmons? Floyd Gondalay butter my ass, lollipops in my mouth award for something I just enjoy? A load case.
1:42:34 Chris Ryan? I like a movie where everybody has a job, but nobody works. So like Cameron Diaz is an orthopedic surgeon, but spends the day hanging out at the driving range. Ben Stiller apparently has just umpteen amounts of of PTO to like stalk his ex-girlfriend.
1:42:52 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:42:52 Chris Ryan? I don't want to spend a lot of time working with these guys.
1:42:55 Sean Fennessey? I love when a movie introduces a character who seems completely ancillary and incidental and turns out to be the psychopath at the center of the movie.
1:43:02 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:43:03 Sean Fennessey? The Woody reveal in theaters are like, this is pretty great.
1:43:06 Bill Simmons? Double feature?
1:43:07 Chris Ryan? I would go Kingpin just to get the Farrelly brothers' oeuvre.
1:43:11 Sean Fennessey? I said American Pie. That was just held us down two summers, two Julys in a row.
1:43:15 Chris Ryan? What do you have?
1:43:16 Bill Simmons? Dumb and Dumber.
1:43:17 Chris Ryan? Okay.
1:43:18 Bill Simmons? Let's just laugh for three and a half hours. Uh, who won the movie?
1:43:22 Chris Ryan? I know it's the Farrelly brothers, but it's Dylan.
1:43:26 Bill Simmons? Interesting.
1:43:27 Chris Ryan? For this, for this viewing?
1:43:30 Bill Simmons? So there's four candidates for this. And I actually think the answer is Ben Stiller. Because he goes from, I didn't know you could be the lead of a comedy to then ripping off 11 straight years of comedies. And it's because of this movie. And I don't know if it happens without this movie.
1:43:46 Chris Ryan? Are you the deciding vote or do you have a third option?
1:43:48 Sean Fennessey? I think it's Cameron Diaz.
1:43:49 Chris Ryan? There you go.
1:43:49 Sean Fennessey? Um, I think there's a really good case for both of them. I think Matt Dillon's the funniest part of the movie. I think Ben Stiller goes on to the greatest amount of success in the movie. But it's Cameron Diaz on the poster. It's Cameron Diaz's movie. It's her, her character's name in the title. This is the thing that catapults her.
1:44:05 Bill Simmons? I thought about her, but I feel like she's, she's gonna win the next 15 years anyway.
1:44:10 Sean Fennessey? I'll tell you what else I was thinking about.
1:44:11 Bill Simmons? I don't know if Ben Stiller wins the next 15 years.
1:44:13 Sean Fennessey? She never been nominated for an Oscar, you know, not really remembered in the.
1:44:18 Chris Ryan? Has she ever done any Oscar bait?
1:44:19 Sean Fennessey? Yeah, Gangs of New York and, and being John Malkovich. She was nominated for a Globe for being John Malkovich. And she's, she's been nominated for awards before, but never quite got to that, that mountaintop.
1:44:29 Bill Simmons? The Aaron Ferris thing was, felt like that was bad for a little bit.
1:44:32 Sean Fennessey? Yeah, that was a shot.
1:44:33 Bill Simmons? What was the Aaron Ferris thing?
1:44:34 Sean Fennessey? In Lost in Translation.
1:44:35 Bill Simmons? Oh, yeah.
1:44:37 Chris Ryan? She got a Globe nom for Something by Mary.
1:44:39 Sean Fennessey? For this, yes.
1:44:41 Bill Simmons? And now it's time we go to Craig for his take on the movie. You'd seen this movie before.
1:44:45 Chris Ryan? Who did you think won the movie?
1:44:48 Speaker 03 I think in the moment, in the moment, it's Cameron Diaz. But I think if you watch the movie now, it's Matt Dillon. Because going back, you're just so surprised at how funny he is. And I'm, I can't believe that he didn't go on to do more comedy.
1:45:01 Bill Simmons? Well, this is like, this is a little apex mountainy because it's like, who won the movie is different than who won the movie.
1:45:08 Speaker 03 Right.
1:45:09 Chris Ryan? I, right. Like, there's the best part of the movie and the person who benefited most from being in the movie.
1:45:13 Bill Simmons? Which I think if you're doing that, I think it's Ben Stiller.
1:45:15 Chris Ryan? It's Stiller.
1:45:17 Speaker 03 Well, when you walked out of the movie in 1998, probably Diaz.
1:45:20 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:45:20 Speaker 03 Being like, wow, who is that?
1:45:22 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:45:23 Bill Simmons? Well, also the Farrelly brothers, I would have been like, give me season tickets now. I'm with you guys.
1:45:29 Sean Fennessey? Where do you stand on the like, the run after this? Me, myself and Irene, Shallow Howl, Hall Pass, all those movies?
1:45:36 Bill Simmons? I didn't like Shallow Howl. I did not like, uh, what was the other one?
1:45:41 Sean Fennessey? Uh, Me, Myself and Irene.
1:45:42 Bill Simmons? No, Me, Myself and Irene was Carrie's peak. Like, that was worth seeing in a theater. Shallow Howl and Stuck on You, I wanted it like Stuck on You, it just didn't work.
1:45:50 Sean Fennessey? Yeah. It's not great.
1:45:52 Bill Simmons? Just didn't happen. And then Fever Pitch is in a front.
1:45:56 Chris Ryan? I still like Fever Pitch.
1:45:57 Speaker 03 You do?
1:45:57 Chris Ryan? Yeah. It's fun.
1:45:59 Speaker 03 I like it too.
1:45:59 Bill Simmons? Craig, what was your take?
1:46:01 Speaker 03 I love this movie. Uh, the script is just really impressive. Like, the amount of callbacks that they're able to weave back into the story. Like, there is no stone left unturned. It's really impressive. Like, every little mention, her having an ex-boyfriend named Brett. Everything ties up in a really. Yeah, in a really, really impressive way. Um, it's just a great set piece comedy. And I think, I think the, I think there was a, a sweet spot for set piece comedies. And I think CGI kind of ruined them. Where I think, when you have to live in like, the reality of what you're literally physically able to do while shooting a movie. I think set pieces were just way funnier because it was like real humans doing real stuff. And this is like a perfect sweet spot with that. And then once you got past certain, like, 2010s,
1:46:42 Speaker 03 there was like way more CGI in things and the humor to me felt more like artificial.
1:46:47 Chris Ryan? Yeah, when Warren beats up Ted.
1:46:49 Speaker 03 It's real.
1:46:49 Chris Ryan? It would be so fake now.
1:46:51 Speaker 03 Yes, yeah.
1:46:52 Chris Ryan? And I think there's like-
1:46:53 Bill Simmons? Stoward looks like he took those bumps.
1:46:54 Chris Ryan? But they would do it the way they do like those fake, like those John Wick movies, like Bob Odenkirk action movies where it's like, oh, I'm like flying through the window.
1:47:04 Speaker 03 Because they always think bigger is better and then with CGI you can go huge. But I actually think it takes away some of the humanity of it. And so this movie is within like a 10, 15 year sweet spot of all the set piece comedies. In my opinion.
1:47:16 Bill Simmons? I forgot to mention, I like when they try on the outfits and Warren's dressed as like a cowboy and then Ben Stoward comes out with the pink superhero outfit.
1:47:26 Speaker 03 Also, a driving range on the water is like the coolest thing I've ever seen in my life. How many of those are there?
1:47:30 Chris Ryan? Probably bad for the body of water, though.
1:47:31 Speaker 03 Why isn't there one of those in LA?
1:47:33 Chris Ryan? Uh, I bet there is somewhere in the valleys.
1:47:35 Sean Fennessey? So then it's the idea that you've got a underwater ball scooper?
1:47:40 Chris Ryan? I guess.
1:47:40 Bill Simmons? Listen, it would only improve the water in that way.
1:47:42 Speaker 03 Or there's a guy in a boat out there, just like there is, you know?
1:47:47 Bill Simmons? CR.
1:47:48 Chris Ryan? Phil?
1:47:48 Bill Simmons? It was a pleasure.
1:47:49 Chris Ryan? It was a pleasure, yeah.
1:47:51 Bill Simmons? I'm sorry you didn't like my idea of having the suitcase of all the stunt come loads.
1:47:55 Chris Ryan? I just wanted to know what you were gonna do with it. Like, I think it would be if you did a series of-
1:47:59 Bill Simmons? You'd look at it if I had it in the house.
1:48:00 Chris Ryan? I would check it out. I would be like, how could we, how can we ruin Ben's night with this?
1:48:04 Bill Simmons? I love that they had made 30 of them. I was just so fascinated by this.
1:48:08 Speaker 03 That'd be good like Halloween, handing those out.
1:48:11 Chris Ryan? Do you think the guy who made the loads has like had a good job? Do you think he is, do you think-
1:48:15 Bill Simmons? I think he, he said he was in props, but now I think probably about 2007, probably moved back to wherever he came from. It was like, I'm moving back to New Jersey.
1:48:24 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:48:26 Sean Fennessey? Like into his mom's house? What do you mean?
1:48:28 Bill Simmons? I just don't think it really probably worked out.
1:48:30 Sean Fennessey? His career as load master?
1:48:31 Chris Ryan? At the correct point, CGI came in.
1:48:33 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:48:34 Sean Fennessey? You might say he was load bearing.
1:48:35 Bill Simmons? Sean, new newsletter?
1:48:38 Sean Fennessey? Yeah, hey, hey.
1:48:39 Bill Simmons? Hey, projections?
1:48:40 Sean Fennessey? Yeah, that's it.
1:48:40 Bill Simmons? They do like a paragraph about there's something about Mary?
1:48:43 Chris Ryan? Oh, that would be nice.
1:48:44 Sean Fennessey? I would love to promote this fine podcast.
1:48:46 Bill Simmons? Little Letterboxd?
1:48:48 Chris Ryan? Anything you can do to help us out?
1:48:49 Sean Fennessey? Yeah, you gotta pump those numbers up, you know?
1:48:51 Bill Simmons? Thanks for your help. Thanks to Craig Roebuck as well. Thanks to Gahal and Eduardo as well. Thanks to Louis K. for hanging out with me for the first time in two years.
1:49:01 Chris Ryan? That was big of him.
1:49:02 Bill Simmons? Yeah, that was nice of him. And we'll see you. We're doing all comedies this month, so we'll see you. Not sure what the comedy's gonna be next week, but we'll see you next week.
1:49:21 Speaker 05 This is U.S. Bank's Cozy Cash Formations with your chief financial playmaker, Fernando Mendoza. You are worthy of financial security. Budgeting is not restriction, it's freedom. You are smart, you are capable, you are giving your money a purpose. You are learning the language of saving, of growing, now streaming.
1:49:48 Bill Simmons? Member FDIC Copyright 2026 U.S. Bank. This episode is brought to you by Whole Foods Market. Fall is here and Whole Foods Market has everything you need for cozy meals, seasonal treats, and easy entertaining. Elevate your hearty dishes with tasty bone-in beef short ribs or New York strip steaks with no added growth hormones or antibiotics. And as the fall evenings draw in, why not get ahead of cold season with immunity shots, herbal teas, lozenges, and supplements? Make sure you look for sales throughout the month. Shop fall flavors with higher standards at Whole Foods Market.
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