‘The Karate Kid Part II’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt

Bill and Kyle take a trip to Okinawa after winning the All Valley Tournament to revisit 1986’s ‘The Karate Kid Part II,’ starring Ralph Macchio and Pat Morita. Producers: Craig Horlbeck, Chia Hao Tat, Eduardo Ocampo, and Matt Pevic LIONSGATE’S MUTINY, STARRING JASON STATHAM, ONLY IN THEATERS AUGUST 21 Put ChatGPT to work on your most ambitious ideas and projects. Get started at https://ChatGPT.com by selecting Work mode. Available on Plus and Pro plans Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:05Bill Simmons?

  The Rewatchables brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network. Kyle Brandt has been on in a few weeks. Rarely, if ever, have we done one to set up the next one. But Karate Kid 2 needed to happen before we did Karate Kid 3, which is the one we really want to do. And yet, Kyle Brandt, I watched Karate Kid 2 and I'm like, not only am I really glad we're doing this, this might be a good movie. And it's coming up next. This episode of the Rewatchables is presented by the movie Mutiny, only in theaters August 21st. Our guy, Jason Statham, stars in Mutiny, the new action thriller from the director of Plane. I like that movie. When an international conspiracy turns deadly, that always happens.

• 0:50Bill Simmons?

  Statham goes off the grid on a one man mission. I love one man missions to take down those responsible. And if you're a fan of The Beekeeper, The Meg, or The Expendables, guilty. This is exactly the kind of movie you want to see Statham in. You've sold me. One of the defining action stars of the last 25 years, doing what he does best. I agree with that. Think Die Hard on a Boat. That sounds great. Mutiny, only in theaters August 21st. Rated R for strong, bloody violence and language.

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• 2:24Bill Simmons?

  There you go.

• 2:39Bill Simmons?

  When do you want me to break out the Sato voice? Do you want me to just do it now or wait till 20 minutes in? What do you, what do you want from me here?

• 2:46Speaker 02

  I think you do the Sato now and then I got something for you. But do Sato, let's do it. He does all his lines like this. And he speeds up at the end.

• 2:57Bill Simmons?

  And what's interesting is it's very similar to Chong Li in Bloodsport. And I don't know if Chong Li was stealing from Sato or just massive coincidence, or what was going on there?

• 3:08Speaker 02

  It's like ripping off Led Zeppelin. Like, everybody does it. You are next. That's, that's Bolo Young. But listen, if you want to do Sato, I'm giving you, I am a man that will fight for your own. I'm doing Sotera. It's basically a Sato and Sotera movie. And then like, we just rap, that's it.

• 3:27Bill Simmons?

  One of them won the movie and I'm not sure which one. So this came out 40 summers ago. June 20th, 1986, three days after 1986, the NBA draft. And sadly, a day after Len Bias died, which I just pulled me out. It went into production 10 days after Karate Kid 1 came out. They were just like, we've struck gold. Let's go, we have the script. Okinawa, we'll film it in Hawaii. We're doing this. You know, my relationship's complicated with this movie. So I'm in the theater. Liked it, did the job. Then over the years, it was on all the time, became a great movie to make fun of. And then I kind of landed as like, oh yeah, stupid. Then watched it again.

• 4:11Bill Simmons?

  I was like, this is just a good movie. It's really well done. It looks good. Miyagi's great in it. The music's good. I believe the premise. I was kind of shocked by how well done it was. What did you think when you rewatched it?

• 4:24Speaker 02

  Well, I have to set the context a little bit. This has been a weird weekend. Right now, it's Monday, July 20th. Bill and I are recording this.

• 4:32Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 4:32Speaker 02

  My wife Brooke comes up to me as we're going into the weekend. My kids are at camp. She's like, hey, we should go see The Odyssey this weekend. You want to go see it? I was like, I gotta get in Karate Kid 2 a couple of times. I don't know if I have time. My schedule's kind of packed right now. So we did go see it. And like, since I've seen the movie, all I want to do is talk about it and read about it and like, get into it and do the research and like, and yet I'm sitting here and I'm talking about Sato and Miyagi's beef that goes back 45 years. Never mind The Odyssey. I'm so geared in on Karate Kid 2. And to answer your question, Bill, this is a really, really fun movie to watch. And I think you hit the nail on the head. My favorite thing about this movie is how effortlessly it picks up from the first one.

• 5:16Speaker 02

  Like, they fucking nailed it. Because Karate Kid 1, Nobody Knows Better Than You, not just a hit, like a sensation. Pat Morita's a national treasure. Video games, cartoons, all that stuff. And 10 days later, these producers are like, go, go. We're going now. Get Lawrence, get Macho, get everybody. Cause the opening scene, it feels exactly like they looked in Karate Kid 1. Their hair, their clothes. It's like, there's not like, oh yeah, Macho put on a few. It's nothing like that. It looks just like the first one.

• 5:45Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, that's a good point. It's very similar to Rocky 2 in how it, it brings back Rocky 1, the beginning of Rocky 2. And basically the last, what, seven minutes of Rocky 1 are the beginning of Rocky 2. And Karate Kid does this too. And, and it actually works. It's like, here's what happened in Karate Kid 1. We know you've watched it 10 times. We're gonna need the greatest hits and go through.

• 6:06Speaker 02

  Yeah. Think about even Rocky V picks up in the locker room after the Drago fight. And it's probably the best part of Rocky V. I think it's like, when we start Karate Kid 2, it's like, we're still kind of feeling the All Valley Tournament. Like, we're, we're still like, have the adrenaline from it, just like Daniel-san. And it works effortlessly. Even Karate Kid 3, which I know we'll get to, they, they show the same scenes going into Karate 3. They're back to the tournament again. They're just like, we're gonna table set it every time. And I like it.

• 6:38Bill Simmons?

  Well, I went back. One of the first like hit pieces I wrote for ESPN was the Karate Kid trilogy.

• 6:43Speaker 02

  I love this.

• 6:44Bill Simmons?

  And I went back and I was kind of mean on Karate Kid 2. I don't know. I don't know if I was doing it for sport or what. And I kind of dismissed that this was a really, not only a well done movie and a movie that was a logical successor to KK 1, but really a Pat Morita vehicle. This is it. They, they told Pat, put on the chef outfit. You're cooking here for hour 51. And he's, he's really good at it. I mean, he got nominated for, for Karate Kid 1, but I think he has some great scenes in this. And like, I really believe like, when Sato finally breaks him, God, you must fight me. And then finally, like, the village is at stake.

• 7:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:25Bill Simmons?

  And Morita's just like, fine, you win. Let's go. Let's, we'll fight to the death. I'm like, yeah, you gotta fucking do this. Miyagi, let's go. It's just really smart.

• 7:36Speaker 02

  Can't get lost, Bill. Like, Pat Morita, Mr. Miyagi, the, the maintenance man, got an Oscar nomination, not some people's choice blockbuster bullshit, a fucking Oscar. I mean, like, does Harrison Ford have an Oscar nomination? I don't even, like, there's a lot of people who've not gotten them. And Pat Morita got one. And I think the filmmakers are like, you know what? Miyagi is our fucking star. Let's go back to his town. And Daniel-san's gonna do his thing. But like, let's make this about Miyagi's origin story. Miyagi's, Miyagi's romance. It's a Miyagi movie. And he's a really good actor. He's good.

• 8:10Bill Simmons?

  He's really good. He has really good scenes. I believe in him in Sato, especially when they reconcile at the end. I'm more in on Miyagi during this movie. And this is the movie that taught us, like, we really, Daniel-san, we were wrong. We got this wrong in KK 1. I know he was the hero. We need to rethink this. This guy's actually kind of a loser. And you're watching Karate Kid 2. I'm not even sure who I want to win in the final scene with him in Chosen. It's like, it's a fight to the death. I don't know, 50/50. You could bend it either way.

• 8:42Speaker 02

  Chosen, holding a knife to a young lady's throat, still a more sympathetic figure than LaRusso.

• 8:49Bill Simmons?

  LaRusso. He spends half the movie with, his body language is slumped forward with this like incredulous look on his face as people are yelling at him. I, he doesn't seem to understand he's in any danger at all with the Sato crew. He's like, I'll fuck with these guys. Yeah, I'll point out the fruit. You cheated on the fruit weights. And obviously you like this girl I'm interested in. What could go wrong here? He just stumbles into danger at all times. He did this in KK 1 too.

• 9:17Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 9:17Bill Simmons?

  Right? He didn't have to escalate it with the, with the skeleton crew, Cobra Cry. He didn't have to, like Johnny Lawrence just trying to take a dump. Doesn't need to pour the hose on him. Doesn't need to get involved with Ally in the radio on the beach. Like, he just finds trouble. People just don't like him.

• 9:33Speaker 02

  He also spends 90% of this movie just asking inane questions to Miyagi about what happened here? And then what happened then? It's, he's so annoying in this movie. It's, you're almost like, hey, Daniel-san, I know you are the Karate Kid. Why don't you go on a little bike ride with Kamiko? And let's, let's just stick with Miyagi. Cause he'll at least fight too.

• 9:52Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 9:53Speaker 02

  Miyagi, I think really, we're gonna get into who wins the movie. But, and when I'm watching it on the rewatch, I find myself like, can we get to the Miyagi scenes?

• 10:00Bill Simmons?

  Right. I, I wrote in my Karate Kid trilogy that this was, this was the movie where the relationship between Miyagi and Daniel-san started to get a little uncomfortable. It really did. And there's lots of instances that we'll do when we do the Rewatchables, but I wanted to call one out now. You know, he surprises them at the airport. Miyagi has to go back. His dad's sick. He's flying back to Okinawa. And Daniel-san, for some reason, thought he was gonna live at Miyagi's house all summer, which is weird in itself. You're an 18 year old kid. But he shows up. Miyagi is kinda like, what are you doing here? Like, you can't come? And the actual quote is, Mr. Miyagi, you're more important than college.

• 10:44Bill Simmons?

  You're more important than anything to me. Cause he's dipping into his college fund to buy this ticket. More important than anything to me. This is a friend you made nine months ago, who's three times older than you. And this is the light of your life? Like, and this has been the crux of this movie in KK2 and KK3. It's like, why do you like this guy so much? What is it about him? I don't understand it. So you explain it.

• 11:07Speaker 02

  Couple of things. First of all, after the first movie, if the producers heard anything about how the relationship is weird between Daniel-san and Miyagi, they don't give a shit. Because they're actually, because they started the movie with Miyagi is standing outside the showers, while Daniel-san is naked, getting showered. There's no other sensei's there. I don't see crease outside this. It's just Miyagi in the shower room. So they're like, now, we're gonna roll with this.

• 11:33Bill Simmons?

  And a couple of like naked kids in the background there. I think-

• 11:35Speaker 02

  Naked extras!

• 11:36Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, as the TV gets better, it's a little Brian Singery. Like, it made me kinda go, oh, no.

• 11:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, so hey, you were in Karate Kid 2? Yeah, yeah, who were you? One of the, no, I was the naked shower guy behind LaRusso.

• 11:49Bill Simmons?

  I was naked for no reason in the first scene after the fight.

• 11:52Speaker 02

  And then the other thing, we have to look through the lens of like, this, remember, this is going on simultaneously with Marty McFly and Doc Brown. Like, this was just the thing, that the high school kids hung out with the eccentric old guys.

• 12:03Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 12:03Speaker 02

  And again, in like the case of Marty McFly, plays lead guitar in a rock band, skateboards, dates the hottest girl in school, and yet has no friends other than the eccentric doctor. It's a lot of the same going on with Macho. Like, are you spending any time at all with Miyagi when Ali is in your life? No, of course not.

• 12:19Bill Simmons?

  What, and he dated, we're suppo, I mean, the chronology of this movie is pretty strange.

• 12:24Speaker 02

  It's all over.

• 12:25Bill Simmons?

  So it seems like him and Ali dated for six months.

• 12:29Speaker 02

  Six months, legit.

• 12:31Bill Simmons?

  So that puts the Karate Kid Tournament around, I guess, January? When he wins the All Valley in Karate Kid 1?

• 12:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, because then the summer kicks in and college is coming and all that. Yeah, so I think it's like, maybe it's a Christmas tournament.

• 12:44Bill Simmons?

  I don't mean to be a dick, but-

• 12:45Speaker 02

  Go on.

• 12:45Bill Simmons?

  We have Halloween. He hasn't even started training yet, right? And he tells, he tells them to leave kid alone till tournament. I remember the tournament being in the spring. I don't know, I think they took some liberties not realizing-

• 12:58Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 12:59Bill Simmons?

  Podcasts were coming 40 years later. But they make it seem like they're dating for six months. Somehow, something happens at the prom, and she's with the UCLA football quarterback.

• 13:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:08Bill Simmons?

  And now it's like Miyagi or bust. His mom's out, his mom's moving to Fresno. We don't know what's going on there. And he's just gonna live with her. But, um, I just think, listen, our relationship with Macho and the character Daniel-san complicated. We go into the Cobra Kai when they do the TV show version.

• 13:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:27Bill Simmons?

  And they fully embrace something that we've been talking about for 35 years up to Cobra Kai, which is like, was Daniel actually the villain of this entire trilogy? And you really feel it in KK2. It's like, first of all, stay away from Okinawa. Stay away from all these Japanese guys and Sato, all this stuff. Like, nobody wants you, you're the American guy. Now you're trying to date one of their ladies. Like, what the fuck are you doing? But we, it took us decades to realize that he was actually the villain.

• 13:53Speaker 02

  It's just, it has no business there. You know, it's like, me at like 18, going with the handyman in my building to like Saigon, like to Vietnam. I'm just like, yeah, I figure I just fit in. I'm like, this is white boy walking around. I learned karate, I take your women. Like, you think that's gonna go well in the village? No, of course, it's not for you, Daniel. Stay home, you're in the valley.

• 14:14Bill Simmons?

  I was thinking, my son just graduated from high school and-

• 14:16Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 14:16Bill Simmons?

  You know, and I was like, hey, where's your friend going? Where's this guy going? Where's he going to college? What's this kid doing this summer? If he said, like, hey, what's your friend, what's your friend Jim doing this summer? Oh, so it's a long story, but there's this maintenance man in his apartment building. Went back to Okinawa. And he's just went back with him for the summer. I would be like, what? I have nine more questions.

• 14:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, and before they go to Okinawa, the maintenance man was actually physically building him his own bedroom at his house. Really? Like, isn't he on a list or something? Come on.

• 14:56Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, that, that's another great thing about this movie is, is Miyagi is still getting work done in his house for his relationship with Daniel-san. That should have been the reason Ali broke up with him. It should have been the UCLA football quarterback. It should have been like, Mr. Miyagi, she just kept wondering what was going on with us. It'd be a Friday night, I just wanted to come over here and work on your flowers.

• 15:15Speaker 02

  And every time we go out, you wear that stupid headband around. Like, why do you, you have to take that off? Enough with that.

• 15:20Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 15:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think Mr. Miyagi was three as a crowd.

• 15:23Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, no question. Well, so, just to go through the relationship really quick, some beats.

• 15:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:30Bill Simmons?

  Prom ends, goes right to Miyagi's right afterwards. Not trying to get laid, doesn't end up on a beach until 5:00 in the morning.

• 15:37Speaker 02

  Not hungover.

• 15:38Bill Simmons?

  No, not hungover at all, just right to Miyagi's. Goes to the passport office with him? Is Miyagi's guy, you new passport?

• 15:45Speaker 02

  I have this.

• 15:47Bill Simmons?

  Can I come?

• 15:49Speaker 02

  This is it, you just, that's how obsessed he is with Miyagi. An 18-year-old kid will go to the most boring place on the face of the earth and wait in line, ever. I'd rather go to the DMV. That's incredible.

• 15:58Bill Simmons?

  We've been fighting with my son all summer because he lost his driver's license and needs to get another one, and he doesn't want to go to DMV. Daniel-san's like, passport? Are you going to the Glendale one or Pasadena? I'm in, what time? 10? Let's hang out in line. He decides to spend the summer after graduation and uses his college fund.

• 16:22Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 16:23Bill Simmons?

  And delays going to college for six months so he can go to Japan with his sensei. We got that. We have the Mr. Miyagi, you're more important than college, more important than anything to me. And then the big one, which is just glossed over in the movie. They end up flying to Japan together. I don't know if you noticed the seating arrangements in the road.

• 16:40Speaker 02

  I did. What do you got?

• 16:42Bill Simmons?

  Daniel-san's in the window seat. Miyagi's middle, nobody in the aisle seat. At no point are they like, hey, cool, nobody's in the aisle.

• 16:52Speaker 02

  I thought Miyagi was the aisle. There's, there's some-

• 16:55Bill Simmons?

  There's another seat!

• 16:56Speaker 02

  What the fuck?

• 16:57Bill Simmons?

  Miyagi's just in the middle. It's like, move over, dude. There's nobody in the aisle seat. These guys are just like, it's like me and my wife traveling. It's just fucking weird. But this was the 80s. Like, we didn't understand any of this stuff.

• 17:11Speaker 02

  That's like, if you go to bathroom and there's five urinals, and Daniel-san took one, and then Miyagi takes the one right next to him. You're not even the first three. Oh my, yeah, the kid's one, the little one, Jesus.

• 17:21Bill Simmons?

  Well, Miyagi, I wrote down some Miyagi, he has some incredible Miyagi-isms in this movie. I don't know why fortune cookies didn't do a deal with him. I'm gonna, uh, I'll read you nine. You tell me what your favorite one is. A person with no forgiveness in heart live in even worse punishment than death.

• 17:39Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 17:40Bill Simmons?

  So he's basically saying, you're better to be dead than to not be able to forgive somebody. I don't know if I agree with that. I'd rather, I'd rather just not forgive anyone.

• 17:46Speaker 02

  I'm always gonna choose life.

• 17:47Bill Simmons?

  I'm half Italian.

• 17:50Bill Simmons?

  When you feel life out of focus, always return to basic of life, breathing. I don't know, pretty weak. Never put passion before principle, even if win, you lose.

• 18:03Speaker 02

  It's all right.

• 18:05Bill Simmons?

  And can we investigate that one? Never put passion before principle? What does that even mean?

• 18:11Speaker 02

  It means like, don't have your determination to win allow you to cheat or betray your values or some stuff like that. You'd love that, you're a Patriots fan.

• 18:17Bill Simmons?

  So like Argentina in the World Cup?

• 18:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, maybe, something like that, pulling from the headlines.

• 18:24Bill Simmons?

  In Okinawa, honor have no time limit.

• 18:31Bill Simmons?

  I, sure.

• 18:33Speaker 02

  I got a little bit of that. 45 years, Sato is still this pissed? Get over it, old man. Or you know what? Fly to California and fight the guy. The timeline in this movie is absurd. Just go in your private jet and find Miyagi and kick his ass, and then get your honor back. You don't have to wait for him, 45 years?

• 18:49Bill Simmons?

  Sometime would heart know, head forget. Again, I'm not sure what that means. Never stop war by joining one. I thought this was actually his best advice so far.

• 19:00Speaker 02

  That's Sun Tzu, I like it.

• 19:01Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 19:01Speaker 02

  It's good.

• 19:03Bill Simmons?

  Not matter who's strong, matter who's stronger. That's just not intelligible. Lie become truth only if person believe it. I think Trump said this once. And then, never, never keep lady waiting. Is actually the best advice in the movie.

• 19:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, even though he keeps his own lady waiting for 45 years. Fucking liar. What is he talking about?

• 19:26Bill Simmons?

  Send her a note. Anyway, those were all the Miyagi-isms. They, as always, Morita is such a good actor. The delivery makes it sound more profound than it actually is when you break it down.

• 19:36Speaker 02

  I think there's a whole generation of people that don't understand that Pat Morita doesn't talk like that. If you see interviews with him, like if you don't know him from Happy Days or his being a stand-up comic, he just, he talks like without any of that affect or accent at all. That's what makes it impressive.

• 19:50Bill Simmons?

  It's amazing. Yeah, cuz I knew him as Happy Days guy. So when he was in Karate Kid 1, it seemed inconceivable that Arnold from Happy Days was gonna be the sensei in some Karate Kid sports movie.

• 20:05Speaker 02

  Is there a comp? Would it be like, like Urkel playing like some serious role like, like as a karate master or something? Cuz I don't really know Happy Days that well.

• 20:13Bill Simmons?

  I would say we'd have to go modern comp. So it'd have to be one of the weird ones, like Finn Wolfhard and Stranger Things. Suddenly becoming-

• 20:22Speaker 02

  Dustin.

• 20:22Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, suddenly becoming a kung fu person. One of the things about this movie, Kyle.

• 20:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:29Bill Simmons?

  So basically, Danny, other than the opening scene, Daniel-san's like the only white person in this movie. And it's all, it's all Asian actors and they're all really good. So we have Nobu McCarthy as Suki. So she was in the Pacific Heights rewatchables that we did. So this is our, we're back with her. Yeah, we're back with her.

• 20:51Speaker 02

  Great.

• 20:52Bill Simmons?

  Tamlin Tamida is Kumiko, who was a smoke show in the mid 80s. I was grateful to see her come back. Comes back to Cobra Kai in the-

• 21:00Speaker 02

  And when she comes back to Cobra Kai, she looks beautiful.

• 21:02Bill Simmons?

  Looks great.

• 21:03Speaker 02

  What a wonderful looking woman and a good actress. Her first movie in this. Like, I love Kumiko.

• 21:09Bill Simmons?

  Danny Camacono, Camacona as Sato.

• 21:13Speaker 02

  Is that Chosen? Oh, that's Sato. Okay.

• 21:16Bill Simmons?

  We'll get to him in a second. And then Yuji Akamoto as Chosen, who I, I always thought as like Japanese zapka, basically. He's basically doing the zap, he's doing the Billy Lawrence, what was Johnny Lawrence playbook?

• 21:30Bill Simmons?

  He's unbelievable in this. Like, he's just the most awesome evil nephew possible. He's good at karate. Takes his shirt off at one point, he's fucking ripped.

• 21:39Speaker 02

  Dude, I had, I'm like, is, is Chosen eligible for the Richard Kimball Sneaky Physique Award? I don't think so cuz he's young. Okay, cuz I was like, he's, he's, Kimball's like an old doctor, like Chosen's like a young karate guy. So he, he's supposed to look ripped, but I, like dude, I almost did a spit take when he, he takes his shirt off. He's got like these massive pecs. He has this V like frame with this tiny waist. He looks like Bruce Lee, like, but more jacked. He looks awesome.

• 22:03Bill Simmons?

  I think he gets the Richard Kimball.

• 22:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'll give it to him.

• 22:06Bill Simmons?

  But Sato, who I went through his IMDb and I just, just, I, I think this was the peak.

• 22:14Bill Simmons?

  He does something that you rarely see people pull off in movies correctly, where he's just like

• 22:21Bill Simmons?

  unredeemable villain.

• 22:22Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 22:23Bill Simmons?

  Really dark, where you're like, yo, this is like uncomfortable how evil you're being. And then the switch flips and he's like a good guy all of a sudden. You wanna have the dance at the castle? Sure. Here's the deed back to the village. And he, and he's just like the nicest guy ever in the last 20 minutes of the movie. And I always enjoy it when that happens.

• 22:43Speaker 02

  He, he goes in 10 seconds from, I will literally bulldoze your church with the children in it to, yeah. You wanna do it at the castle? Let's rock and roll, baby. And he's got the silly smile on his face. It's a quick turn, a really quick one. But it's cuz he's so dark to start.

• 22:58Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, he's really good though. I think he's incredibly menacing. His voice, which we've already done 10 times.

• 23:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:05Bill Simmons?

  Miyagi, you coward.

• 23:08Speaker 02

  I got a couple of categories devoted to Sato. I'm a big Sato guy.

• 23:11Bill Simmons?

  He is just, uh, he's, I like when he shows up dressed up. I like when he shows up at the end. He's got the, I'm here to help rebuild the village outfit. I like when he does the drum, the drum thingy with Miyagi at the end. He's like, he's all in. He's just a good guy.

• 23:26Speaker 02

  I, I could use more, I wish Sato, to your point, I wish he was like the emcee of the Kumite and Bloodsport. Like if he was like the crooked boss in charge of it, because his physicality and like, you're nailing, like, the casting of this movie is really good. The three big parts of Chosen and Sato and Kumiko, I think are three for three. They did a great job.

• 23:46Bill Simmons?

  Listen, we could do this later in Unanswerable Questions, but I really wanna do this now.

• 23:51Speaker 02

  What do you got?

• 23:52Bill Simmons?

  Was Sato in the right?

• 23:54Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 23:56Bill Simmons?

  So he's Miyagi's best friend. This is 1940s, right? Where like, either right before World War II or after, I don't know when, but I don't, I don't know how long ago it was, but I think it was like 45 years. So if they do this in 1986, that's like before World War II?

• 24:14Speaker 02

  I think it's 1941, which is when the bomb was dropped.

• 24:19Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, it's like before then. Yeah. So they're best friends. They have traditions in this, in Okinawa, where it's like, well, you're arranged to marry Suki.

• 24:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:32Bill Simmons?

  But Miyagi's in love with Suki.

• 24:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:35Bill Simmons?

  And she decides she loves Miyagi, which I would argue in 1940 is a massive disgrace for Sato. I could kinda see why he's been pissed off about this for half a century. This is his best friend. It was an arranged marriage. Like, why are you even like spending one minute with this girl? This is my, this is, my family's arranged this already, dickhead.

• 24:56Speaker 02

  Completely with you. There's a lot of fish in the sea, Miyagi. You're literally a fisherman, all right? And then not only that, Sato's like, listen asshole, let's fight now. You took my honor. Let's fight. And Miyagi is such a bitch and won't fight him for years and years. And then he shows up and he's, he leaves for 45 years. And he comes back in two seconds and Sato's like, all right, let's fight. Like, we are fucking fighting. You, you say what you want about arranged marriages, like, that's our custom here, dude. And you backstab me and you took the girl, so let's fucking fight to the death. And Miyagi's like, no, no, no. It's like, fuck you. Bitch, like, you never fight. I hate it. And even, Sato even is about to punch him in a shirt and tie. Like, he comes up to the village and he rounds up on him. Like, I'm gonna do this right now. And then he gets saved by the woman.

• 25:39Speaker 02

  Miyagi, I really wish we had, picking nits or like, what's wrong with this movie? I wanted some Miyagi-Sato. Even if it gets broken up, like, I wanna see some blows exchanged between these two and they didn't give us to us.

• 25:50Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, it's a great point. I mean, so Miyagi's selling us on the one hand of like, Okinawa, Japan, it's all about tradition. It's all about honor.

• 25:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:00Bill Simmons?

  Except for the time when, uh, my best friend was arranged to be married to this lady who I tried to steal from him. And then when he got mad, I fucking fled to the United States.

• 26:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:10Bill Simmons?

  I, doesn't sound very honorable there, Miyagi.

• 26:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, and not to mention when he gets there, he's like, you know, advancing on a child. Like, he, there's no honor at all. Like, he ditches his best friend, he's shacking up with a boy. It's, it's across the board. I don't know where he's preaching that. I love Miyagi in this movie, but I found it getting really tiresome how much she was fleeing from, from Sato, who's just like, this is how we do things in the village, man. Go up or don't.

• 26:35Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. You tried to steal the girl. And then the poor Suki just never got married?

• 26:40Speaker 02

  No. Disastrous life. Her whole life is ruined.

• 26:44Bill Simmons?

  And her and Sato are in the same place and Sato meanwhile owns everything in the village and she can't, and she's just, that's it?

• 26:51Speaker 02

  Yeah. And let's not forget, after this movie, they leave again. They're, they're out of there. They're going back to California. Creedence 3 is not in Okinawa. They didn't settle down. They're back in the valley.

• 27:00Bill Simmons?

  Ridiculous. $12 million budget made $130 million.

• 27:05Speaker 02

  Fuck yes.

• 27:05Bill Simmons?

  It was the fourth highest 1986 release. It earned more than The Karate Kid. Our, uh, let me give you the top nine really quick here.

• 27:13Speaker 02

  Let's go. This is 1986?

• 27:15Bill Simmons?

  Top Gun 1, Crocodile Dundee 2, if you ever want, if you ever wanna know-

• 27:20Speaker 02

  Crocodile Dundee 1, right?

• 27:22Bill Simmons?

  Which one?

• 27:23Speaker 02

  Crocodile Dundee 1 was number two?

• 27:25Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, one.

• 27:25Speaker 02

  Right, right, right.

• 27:26Bill Simmons?

  Platoon, Karate Kid 2, Star Trek 4. Those were the only five movies that made over $100 million. And then we had Back to School, Aliens, The Golden Child, Ruthless People, and Ferris Bueller's Day Off, rounding off our top 10. Life was good in 1986.

• 27:44Speaker 02

  I tell you, Bill, there's a couple juicy episodes just dangling in there that haven't been done on this here podcast.

• 27:49Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, Aliens is one. Back to School, you're on the list for that one. Haven't done Platoon yet. Roger Ebert, mild thumbs up on the TV show. Didn't do a written review.

• 28:00Speaker 02

  Ah, on Karate Kid 2?

• 28:02Bill Simmons?

  He's like, I'm out. I'm not, I'm not writing about this. I'm not using my fingers. He did on the TV show praise the deeper exploration of Mr. Miyagi. And appreciated the Okinawa setting.

• 28:15Speaker 02

  It's good. It's really good.

• 28:16Bill Simmons?

  I, I feel like he could've cranked out 500 words.

• 28:19Speaker 02

  Maybe Siskel covered it. I'm not sure. But yeah, this is an appointment movie. But listen, look, look at the movies you just rattled off. And by the way, 1986, it didn't even mention Cobra. Like, there's, they were just bangers all year long in 86.

• 28:31Bill Simmons?

  Hisers came out, yeah. And we've done, I think we've done at least 20 1986 movies at this point. All right, we're gonna take a break and then we gotta go through rewatchable scenes. This episode is brought to you by Chat GPT. Imagine you're running a professional sports team. Nice, that'd be a dream of mine. Imagine the player contract report is due today. Not so nice. You've got performance notes from the coaching staff. You've got a salary spreadsheet from your analyst. Three rounds of back and forth emails with the agent. And all of it is scattered absolutely everywhere. Well, that's where Chat GPT work comes in. It's a new way to use Chat GPT for bigger multi-step projects. Give Chat GPT work access to your apps and files and can create

• 29:16Bill Simmons?

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• 30:01Bill Simmons?

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• 30:46Bill Simmons?

  They would appreciate that. It's the best way to support the show. All right, most rewatchable scene. We talked about the opening scene with the original ending of Karate Kid 1 in the script. And since then, there's been a thought that this was actually filmed for Karate Kid 1. They decided that should be the ending. Apparently, that's an urban legend. And they actually filmed the beginning of Karate Kid 2 in real time. But they used what had been in the script and they filmed it. I always thought they filmed it right after they finished Karate Kid 1 and decided not to use it. But that's not true. So they brought everybody back. I have one huge point on this, but just to go through the beats really quick.

• 31:30Bill Simmons?

  Kreese is on a heater. I don't, it's almost like he, he found like a, like a brewery in the, at the All Karate or like grabbed some beers. Seems drunk somehow.

• 31:41Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 31:41Bill Simmons?

  And he's just, he's doing the, you're nothing, you lost, you're a loser. And he's doing, he's like really over the top. Starts strangling Johnny Lawrence, does the, how does second place feel now? The Cobra Kai kids seem terrified. People are watching in the parking lot and then Miyagi saves the day and he punches two windows and does the honk. How'd you feel about somebody passing out from punching two car seat windows?

• 32:07Speaker 02

  I have a take on that. And I, as an, as a kid, I thought it was really funny. And now as an adult, I'm like, cop out bullshit. They should fight. Like, what are we doing? Kreese just beat up some kids, like Miyagi should come over and knock them out or something like that. Again, we don't get Miyagi Sato, we don't get Miyagi Kreese until KK 3. I also like, when I'm watching this, maybe it's because like I'm a modern parent now, as are you. And like, I see this through the lens of the viral video of wild video of karate instructor beating his own students. And it's like on Huffington Post and like he's disowned and he loses his job and all that. Like you would see that everywhere. I may see it this weekend at travel ball. It's just, it hit me hard.

• 32:46Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, that is true. I have something I noticed. So it says at the end, they're all credited, um, the Cobra Kai guys.

• 32:54Speaker 02

  The Cobras, they call them the Cobras in the credits.

• 32:56Bill Simmons?

  Williams, then the other four, including Chad McQueen as Dutch. So I watched this carefully, I noticed this the second time.

• 33:04Speaker 02

  Where is this going? I already like it.

• 33:08Bill Simmons?

  Dutch isn't in the scene. It's somebody who looks like Dutch, but it's not Dutch. He pulls a hat way down. He's on the other side of the car. He has no lines. You see in the beginning and then he just turns. I'm telling you, we could do a social video about this. I think I'm breaking news here. So Chad McQueen is credited, but I don't think he's actually there. They have the guy turn around. He turns, when it gets closer, he turns away from the camera so you can't see him. I don't think it was Dutch.

• 33:35Speaker 02

  Wait, is this, get him a body bag, yeah.

• 33:38Bill Simmons?

  Dutch is the guy.

• 33:40Speaker 02

  With the blonde hair?

• 33:41Bill Simmons?

  He's the guy that Daniel-san never actually would have beaten in the All Valley. They, they don't even show a lot of the, they only show the last point.

• 33:47Speaker 02

  He's strong.

• 33:48Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, it's, it's just like, and Dutch is like, uh, he's the one that taunts him in the locker room.

• 33:54Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 33:54Bill Simmons?

  Like, where's your mommy? He does that whole thing. And he just, Daniel-san never would have beaten him. I don't think Dutch wanted to come back for KK 2.

• 34:02Speaker 02

  You think they couldn't reach an arrangement with Dutch?

• 34:04Bill Simmons?

  I think they put a wig on somebody else and pretended it was Chad McQueen and called it a day. That's my working theory, yeah. Yeah.

• 34:11Speaker 02

  All right, now I gotta rewatch it because I gotta see if it's him. Like, is, is the actor's name is?

• 34:15Bill Simmons?

  The guy literally does this.

• 34:19Bill Simmons?

  Kreese, Kreese is beating out of Johnny Lawrence and he turns like he's like security trying to keep the crowd away or something. Very strange.

• 34:26Speaker 02

  Because Lamar Luttrell from Revenge of the Nerds is in Cobra Kai. He's not in that scene either. He's off with the Trilams.

• 34:31Bill Simmons?

  And neither is Andrew Shue. Okay.

• 34:34Speaker 02

  Right.

• 34:34Bill Simmons?

  Next scene is Daniel barges the flight, begs to go to Japan, which we, um, we talked about. We also find out that Miyagi and Sato would have fought to the death if Miyagi had stayed in Okinawa. So that's another scene. Miyagi and Daniel get kidnapped by Chosen. Miyagi, who's supposed to be Wisdom guy, shows up at the airplane. Somebody's like, we're here, you're, you're right. And it's like, huh, I wonder if this is the guy who's been trying to kill me for 45 years. Hey, let's just get in the car. The father death scene where Daniel-san consoles Miyagi. Leading to that.

• 35:15Speaker 02

  Look at that.

• 35:16Bill Simmons?

  The most emotional scene ever with, uh, Daniel-san and.

• 35:20Speaker 02

  And Morita tears up, it's beautiful.

• 35:22Bill Simmons?

  How did you feel about the father's death scene though? Where he put Sato and Miyagi's hand together and then he's like, oh, I'm dead.

• 35:29Speaker 02

  It was, Christopher Nolan's getting a lot of love this week, but there's a very bad death and then the Dark Knight Rises. It's known as the worst death ever.

• 35:37Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 35:37Speaker 02

  This one is kind of up there with that. It's like, you gotta give us a little more than just tilting your head back. And also, he looks like five years older than Morita. I'm very distracted, looked like his brother.

• 35:46Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Uh, Daniel's date is another one where, um, he, he's just kind of, he can't even go on a date without hoping that Mr. Miyagi is going to show up. And everything leads to the ice breaks. Sato shows up out of nowhere. Everybody's just showing up at this random bar in Okinawa, but leading to Daniel-san. And then.

• 36:08Speaker 02

  All six.

• 36:08Bill Simmons?

  Breaking the ice. I, I personally don't believe it. I don't think he could have done it.

• 36:12Speaker 02

  My favorite scene as a kid. This movie inspired more broken hands than any movie in history between the ice and between Sato's.

• 36:20Bill Simmons?

  Sato banging the log, yeah.

• 36:21Speaker 02

  Yes, over. But like, there was, there was a part in the video game where if you got to the bonus round, you could cut the ice. And I always like, I always think it's a huge coincidence that the place where you're training in karate happens to have an ice breaking thing that they just bring out. And Daniel-san, the, the numbers, this would be perfect for you. It's 600 bucks at three to one odds, right? So like Miyagi makes 1,800 bucks off of Sato Inc. It's huge.

• 36:44Bill Simmons?

  He got to, he, he got basically that Daniel's college fund back.

• 36:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. But I always wanted to try it. I always wanted to do it as a kid. I was enchanted by that short little scene. Love it.

• 36:54Bill Simmons?

  Of course, Daniel's college was going to be Reseda Community College because it's going to be within seven minutes of Miyagi. The ice in the bar had some questions. Just, they just have these blocks just ready to go. Go get some more giant ice blocks. Those things are expensive.

• 37:12Speaker 02

  I guess. You know how they have those things now in arcades where you can like punch the, the, the speed bag and see like how strong your punch is? This was like an 80s Japanese version of that. And they got a line outside the door to do the ice blocks.

• 37:26Bill Simmons?

  Daniel at the dance ends up with the fight. Chosen shows up, yet another terrible Daniel performance. And then, uh, Miyagi has to go John Wick on everybody, which is like kind of a staple of, of these Karate Kid trilogies where Miyagi has to just clean house. He really only has two moves.

• 37:45Speaker 02

  All right, let's get into this. What moves? What do you got?

• 37:47Bill Simmons?

  Well, he's good at, he's moving side to side, avoiding punches. For some reason, people see little Miyagi and they're like, I'm going to go flying at him. He's good at moving. He has a good little turn kick. He goes right to the stomach, never goes head. He doesn't have the John Jones flying elbow behind or any, any moves like that. But it's really, it's a move out of the way. It's a sidekick and it's a punch and that's it. Very easy to scout, I think.

• 38:13Speaker 02

  I had this written down, just to ask you, what, how do you feel watching Miyagi fighting? And as I've gotten older now, like, first of all, Pat Morita, like if you get it, like no martial arts training, no background. He was a comedian, just showed up and like they teach him the moves. Watching it now, it reminded me a little bit of Robert De Niro in The Irishman, like stomping that guy out. And it's like, it looks like he's like stepping on a beetle and he's going to blow his back out. Miyagi, not exactly that quick. But, um, it's, it's, I think maybe there's a reason we don't get the Kreese fight and the Sato fight. I'm not sure Morita could do that many moves.

• 38:48Bill Simmons?

  I think that's fair. It reminded me a little of when you watch Messi in the World Cup. He's so low to the ground, it, it just kind of confounded every defender. Because they would think they could knock him off the ball, but he would go low and just be able to keep his balance and footing. That was a little Miyagi-ish. He could go low and they, they just couldn't figure out his style at all. Over and over again, the same mistakes made against him.

• 39:10Speaker 02

  You got white hot soccer takes these days, Bill.

• 39:13Bill Simmons?

  I watched a lot of World Cup and.

• 39:15Speaker 02

  I know, I could tell.

• 39:15Bill Simmons?

  Probably won't watch soccer again for another four years. The hurricane scene.

• 39:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:24Bill Simmons?

  A lot to unpack here. This hurricane comes out of nowhere. For some reason, the village only has one central location that you can be safe of, that everyone crams into. Things are just getting demolished. I don't know where Sato is staying with, uh, with his nephew, but that thing just completely falls apart and a giant log lands on him, leading to Miyagi with the wood chop.

• 39:48Speaker 02

  Great moment.

• 39:48Bill Simmons?

  10 to 1 odds, he actually pulls that off. What do you think?

• 39:51Speaker 02

  A thousand to one. That thing is like, not even IKEA particle board. That is a full styrofoam. He does like a six inch chop. This is not Jean Claude Van Damme. This is Pat Morita in the eighties and the thing just explodes. But it's a great movie moment, dude.

• 40:05Bill Simmons?

  And Sato's lying on the saw going, now you fight coward.

• 40:11Speaker 02

  Sato's just talking shit under the plank. Oh, look who now here. And it's like bam bam. It was awesome.

• 40:18Bill Simmons?

  Miyagi saves him and immediately his switch flips. I got you old friend. And now they're buddies. Um, somehow there's a little girl 15 feet up on a telephone pole. I didn't really understand this either. How'd she get up there? What happened? Where'd she come from? Why wasn't she with everybody else?

• 40:36Speaker 02

  All right, everybody in the village is gonna have jobs. You to ring the bell when the typhoon shows up. Let's put the seven or eight year old girl 30 feet up. That's your job. Typhoon alert, girl. She's got it. Idiotic choice.

• 40:47Bill Simmons?

  And then Daniel-san has to go up and get her. Chosen won't help. Disgraces himself, goes back in the crowd. Cause he's, he's just, he's done with Daniel-san. Daniel-san goes up there, pulls a pretty incredible buckle trick. Belt buckle, takes off the belt. He's got this swing electric that's gonna electrocute him somehow gets that thing down. I would say it's his best moment until they get to the ground and then he can't carry an eight year old girl 10 feet. Again, I mean, he's one of the weird body actors we've ever had anyway. He's like all hips and legs and has no torso and it's just kinda barely has a spine.

• 41:25Speaker 02

  And by the way, at the time, like Daniel-san is trying to also deal with a full tilt erection that he has from being with Kamiko. It's one of the only times in the movie, dude, that I sympathize with Daniel-san. He's gotta sit there and drink this tea and then she takes out the sticks and her hair comes down. This is a teenage kid here. Like he goes and kisses, like this kid's balls would be exploding like the fucking Death Star. And then, and then it's like, oh, look a typhoon. And I'm like, ah, I feel for this kid. He's been waiting for months for this.

• 41:56Bill Simmons?

  They should've hit under his wood. They could've put like three people under there.

• 42:02Speaker 02

  We know Miyagi would chop that, so.

• 42:05Bill Simmons?

  So Sato's a good guy. They save the girl, they come back and Sato looks at the nephew and goes, now to you.

• 42:14Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 42:14Bill Simmons?

  I am dead. And the nephew is just really bummed out and just runs out into the typhoon, presumably never to be seen again. But you know, he's gonna be seen again.

• 42:25Speaker 02

  Question about that. Is that a Sylvester Stallone, why didn't somebody stop this? Doesn't Sato misspeak? Isn't he supposed to say now to me, you are dead? Isn't he saying you're dead to me? Not I'm dead. I think he gets it backwards.

• 42:38Bill Simmons?

  Well, the nephew, for some reason thinks Sato's dead under the log. And then when he comes back in, he goes, uncle, I thought you were dead. So Sato puts that in his back pocket, throws it back at him.

• 42:53Speaker 02

  But then in the final fight, Chosen says, I'm dead to you, remember? Like they, they fuck up the.

• 42:59Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, you're right. They do kinda jumble it.

• 43:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, anyway.

• 43:02Bill Simmons?

  Quick scene, but when Sato apologizes to Miyagi, no need to apologize. Um, and Daniel-san does the, can we have the bone dance? Can we do this in the castle? And Sato looks at Miyagi and goes, your student become my teacher. Pointy moment.

• 43:23Speaker 02

  It is.

• 43:23Bill Simmons?

  Sato's really come all the way around, uh, leading to the final dance fight scene. Really great idea. Gotta say, best idea in the movie. Take the bridge, gotta knock it out. Daniel-san, this not tournament, just for real. Oh yeah, let's fucking go. Daniel-san gets his ass kicked. The little drumstick thingies bring him back. And then, uh, how do you feel about close camera angle to the two hand punch?

• 43:48Speaker 02

  I don't feel great. It, it seems to me that the drum technique is entirely contingent on, your enemy has to throw the same exact punches 20 times in a row without moving. It's kinda like the crane kick is contingent upon your enemy running at you with his chin out. And it's like we talk about with Segal. If you surround him and one by one, each guy sprints directly at him, he's unbeatable. But if you do anything else, you could kick his ass. The drum technique and the camera angle is not satisfying at all. I don't even know what the fuck is going on.

• 44:17Bill Simmons?

  So it seems like he's doing two hand swing punches like this.

• 44:22Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 44:23Bill Simmons?

  Which has never been done before since in a movie by literally anyone.

• 44:27Speaker 02

  He's trying to do what he learns up on the swinging, you know, spike thing up on the dock where you, you dodge and punch and Sato just, or Chosen just keeps throwing and he just keeps hitting him with it. It went from being like your cool movie fight to like a ridiculous like Tai Bo routine. It was strange.

• 44:46Bill Simmons?

  I have a theory. I don't know if it's true.

• 44:48Speaker 02

  Let's hear it.

• 44:49Bill Simmons?

  I think Macho might've gotten hurt during the fight.

• 44:53Speaker 02

  Okay. And that's why they had to like compromise the ending.

• 44:55Bill Simmons?

  Uh, this goes from like, this is an awesome fight scene to now we have to go super close to Macho doing this weird two hand thing. And we don't get to see any athleticism and all, and I think he got hurt because he was.

• 45:08Speaker 02

  And in the final shot, it's tight too.

• 45:10Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 45:10Speaker 02

  Like when the liver diamond, it's very, that's like, maybe he like tweaked his knee or something.

• 45:15Bill Simmons?

  Hurt his ankle or something, liver diamond. So what do you have for most rewatchable scene?

• 45:21Speaker 02

  Um, I'm at the final fight. Like it's, that setting is so good. It actually looks like Street Fighter or Mortal Kombat. It's two fighters with like audience and risers in the background. It looks so cool. It's final fight scene.

• 45:34Bill Simmons?

  I have the typhoon hurricane, whatever was going on there.

• 45:37Speaker 02

  That's good too.

• 45:38Bill Simmons?

  I really enjoy all of it. I like stupid scenes like that where it's like some sort of mass horrible event, but everybody's gonna be fine and there's bravery and people getting mad at each other. What's the most 1986 thing about this movie for you?

• 45:53Speaker 02

  You know, I had trouble identifying like a kitschy piece of technology or something. Like what did you have for yours?

• 45:59Bill Simmons?

  I had the Panasonic TV store that they look in and there's the TVs and they're all Panasonic's. Just don't think that's happening in 2026.

• 46:09Speaker 02

  And I think they're watching the TV show Fame, which is extremely eighties too. I think Panasonic back then was running the game and Zenith, a lot of Zenith televisions. I, I think for my most 86 thing for me was like, this movie is like the most earnest movie ever made. There's no cynicism, there's no politics, there's no Twitter fight. It's just like love, honor. That's all it is. There's no underhanded message. That's just how we did them back in 86. That's what it is for me.

• 46:36Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, there's nothing about like a, a white guy from Masita going to Japan and uprooting their tradition and this never happened. I also had easily buying a last minute ticket on Northwest Airlines to Japan. It's very 1986. And then you mentioned this earlier, the video game adaptation. The Karate Kid part two, the, the computer game, which, uh, was a fighting game. You could beat Daniel and they had bonus levels where you could catch flies with chopsticks and break an ice block. And these were video games that happened in 1986. You know, or this was in 87 in this case, but it was just like, hey, people like this movie.

• 47:11Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 47:12Bill Simmons?

  What if we take the character and what are the three things he did in the movie? We'll just make them levels and then, and then you would just call it a day. Um, I'm really excited for mine for this one. The Floyd Gondoli butter in my ass and lollipops in my mouth award for something I just enjoy. What did you have? You go first.

• 47:29Speaker 02

  I just, I just love how when Sato's like got some extra time after work or it's like a lazy Saturday, he just goes out in the backyard, just gets some chops in. Just like, just nothing, just gonna take the chop at this thing. It's like how someone like makes beer in their garage or like maybe they do their fantasy roster or something, you know? Like I like to woodwork. Sato's like, I just go out and get some chops in, releases my stress. You wanna try? It's been here for 45 years. I can't get it. I don't know how his hand is not broken, but I love that that's his hobby, just chopping that same wood. It's fun.

• 48:00Bill Simmons?

  Did Sato like after the fifth take of that, it's like, hey, uh?

• 48:07Speaker 02

  Get the stunt hand in here.

• 48:08Bill Simmons?

  I need a, I need a break here. I think I broke my metacarpal.

• 48:14Speaker 02

  What do you got? You said you were looking forward to it. So I'm happy.

• 48:16Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I was really excited to unleash this to you. My Floyd Gondoli, the Brad Wesley School of Villains.

• 48:23Speaker 02

  Oh, awesome. I'm already in.

• 48:25Bill Simmons?

  Daniel Miyagi get off the plane in Okinawa and they see a sign on the wall and it's advertising Sato's Karate Doja. But if you look carefully.

• 48:34Speaker 02

  Go on.

• 48:35Bill Simmons?

  There's a sign for the Sato Construction Company.

• 48:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:38Bill Simmons?

  There's a sign for Sato's Escort Service and then to the left, Sato's Realty.

• 48:44Speaker 02

  I didn't see the real.

• 48:46Bill Simmons?

  So he said escorts, reality, construction and karate. Is the heart of how he kind of took over this village, very similar to Brad Wesley, who just owned everything in whatever town that was in Roadhouse.

• 48:59Speaker 02

  Goddamn JCPenney's coming here because of me.

• 49:02Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 49:02Speaker 02

  Exactly right. He is a Brad Wesley, the tycoon who takes over the town and pushes the people around. I didn't know until recently that there was a Sato's Escort Service and they got advertisements in the airport right next to like, so you want a condo? Great. You want some martial arts training? Great. Want three girls tonight or three boys? Give me a call.

• 49:23Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Miyagi is like, Daniel-san, I'm worried about you. You wanted to come on this trip too bad. I ordered three girls from Escort Service.

• 49:33Speaker 02

  Sato's Escort Service is my fantasy team in this. I'm just locking it up. I got it, guys. Nobody else take it. It's great.

• 49:40Bill Simmons?

  People, that would be a really good name.

• 49:43Speaker 02

  Perfect.

• 49:43Bill Simmons?

  You know, people always ask us for advice. How do we get in here? You know, how do we get into, uh, how do I get on TV? How do I get a podcast? How did you start writing? I might just be like, you know what? Go Sato. Go, go do, he did physical activity. He did building stuff with your hands. He did sexual and he did land. Like the four components. If you could form businesses in those four areas, like the sky's the limit. You could own a whole village.

• 50:13Speaker 02

  So the prostitution's legal? He could just advertise? Like, I guess it's escort. It was always kind of like a blurred line between that.

• 50:19Bill Simmons?

  I, listen, that would have been a great scene. This probably would have pushed it to an R. But Miyagi and Daniel-san go to find Sato at Sato's Escort Service and I don't know.

• 50:29Speaker 02

  Probably is Miyagi already has his escort. It's Daniel-san. That's the bad part.

• 50:33Bill Simmons?

  What's age the best? Uh, four words, a Jerry Weintraub production.

• 50:37Speaker 02

  I'm just, just know it's gonna be good. Also, four of the words, music by Bill Conti. Yes, sir.

• 50:44Bill Simmons?

  They're in good hands. It was, I gotta say, nice to be reunited with the music in this. And it was one of the reasons I think Cobra Kai did really well. It was just fun to hang with the music.

• 51:00Speaker 02

  It's so heavy pan flute, especially in the first half an hour. Like it's, it's above macho and merita on the call sheet. The pan flutist is everywhere and it hits.

• 51:08Bill Simmons?

  Well, it's like the cowbell has been ruined by the Will Ferrell sketch. Pan flute has been completely ruined by the Karate Kid trilogy.

• 51:16Bill Simmons?

  I mentioned Nobu McCarthy, our second rewatch was with her. You mentioned Daniel wearing the Japanese headband here in the movie and just Daniel's love of headbands in general, which was basically in the eighties, it was him, was the lead singer in Loverboy and it was Stevie Van Zant. And those were the three, and I gotta say, nobody else. Not one other person.

• 51:39Speaker 02

  Did Pat Benatar wear one?

• 51:41Bill Simmons?

  No, that was it. Loverboy, Miyagi. I've been on Daniel-san.

• 51:49Speaker 02

  Stallone with the, with the head tie like that in Rambo, like that was.

• 51:53Bill Simmons?

  Oh, interesting. Yeah. Stallone might've gotten in there.

• 51:55Speaker 02

  It's a very elite group.

• 51:57Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. And it ended.

• 51:58Speaker 02

  Springsteen.

• 51:59Bill Simmons?

  It ended in 1990.

• 52:02Bill Simmons?

  I wrote down Miyagi just regularly and unironically talking about himself in the third person.

• 52:08Speaker 02

  Oh dude, it's great. It, I, I had his, I had this unanswerable question. Is Miyagi the third person goat? Like, is he the one? Because he does it relentlessly. And I even, I'm sitting here, I banged out, here, here's my, here's my third person rushmore from my guys.

• 52:25Bill Simmons?

  Oh, let's hear it.

• 52:27Speaker 02

  I got Miyagi. I got Elmo, who's been everywhere recently. He's at the World Cups, Super Bowl and everything like that. I got, uh, Bob Dole, especially Norm MacDonald's version of Bob Dole. Bob Dole likes peanut butter. Bob Dole. And then, uh, I have Ricky Henderson in the four spot, who's probably the greatest athlete with it. That's my four. But Miyagi's on it. He's, he's like third person king.

• 52:49Bill Simmons?

  That's really good. That's a really good top four. I feel like there should be a rapper in there, but I can't think off the top of my head who that is.

• 52:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:56Bill Simmons?

  Cause there's been a couple of rappers that throw themselves in there, but yeah, I mean Miyagi, he does it seamlessly. You don't even realize he's doing it. It's like Miyagi, not sure. And it's like, oh, you're Miyagi. You almost feel like he's talking about somebody else.

• 53:10Speaker 02

  And it's not like Sato and Chosen are doing it. Like, it's not like in the village, they all do it. Miyagi is just choosing to do it. I'm not sure why.

• 53:19Bill Simmons?

  Ricky Henderson. That's a great one.

• 53:21Speaker 02

  Ricky this, Ricky that, Ricky that. Oh, the best.

• 53:25Bill Simmons?

  My other Woodstage the Best, The Glory of Love by Peter Sotera. You mentioned the top. Not only a number one hit, nominated for an Oscar.

• 53:35Speaker 02

  Nominated for an Oscar and lost to another one seed, Take My Breath Away Berlin, Top Gun.

• 53:41Bill Simmons?

  I know.

• 53:42Speaker 02

  It's, it's tough. I, I think the better song, Lost, and I think that, here's what's funny. I think that this song in so many ways has become the legacy of this movie. Like, perfect example. I'm talking to the listener. Bill and I were texting a few nights ago with Schrager. We're texting about a lot of things that I would not share on mic. But Bill mentions out of nowhere, hey, Kyle and I are doing Karate Kid two next week. Schrager immediately three dots. The first thing he texts. I am a man who will fight for your honor. Like the first thing from Karate Kid. I think that's what people think of. Yes.

• 54:19Bill Simmons?

  I'll give you some of the lyrics.

• 54:22Bill Simmons?

  I am a man who will fight for your honor. I'll be the hero you're dreaming of. We'll live forever, knowing together that we did it all for the glory of love. Pretty good way of wooing a lady.

• 54:37Speaker 02

  What a panty dropper.

• 54:39Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. We'll live forever, knowing we did this for the glory of love. Like what's better?

• 54:44Speaker 02

  Same song for the rest of us.

• 54:46Bill Simmons?

  Jesus.

• 54:47Speaker 02

  I, I'm gonna do a podcast, no, no, right now. I don't care. Stop this podcast, press pause. Go type in Glory of Love by Peter Sotera, listen to the song and come back, but you won't come back. You'll go find your husband or wife and make love to them. Like you'll just find anybody and make love to them. It's so good. I love this song.

• 55:05Bill Simmons?

  You keep me standing tall. You help me through it all. I'm always strong when you're beside me. I've always needed you. I could never make it alone.

• 55:14Speaker 02

  It's beautiful.

• 55:14Bill Simmons?

  Girls are like, my pants are down. You did it. It's over.

• 55:18Speaker 02

  How about in the third verse, he's like, like a knight in shining armor. I'm gonna take you to my castle.

• 55:23Bill Simmons?

  From a long time ago, just in time, I will save the day and take you to my castle.

• 55:27Speaker 02

  Got so far away.

• 55:29Bill Simmons?

  So we should mention for the, uh, for the young ones out there, um, Peter Sotera was the lead singer of Chicago.

• 55:35Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 55:36Bill Simmons?

  Who, um, soft rock icons in the seventies now have bled into yacht rock and I'm like firm on these are not yacht rock. Chicago cannot be in yacht rock. You're not allowed. You're over here. You're in the seventies side with Seals and Croft and some other ones, like when Brad, you're just on this side. Yacht rock is over here. But they were really successful. I mean, it was, I think, one of the most successful seventies bands.

• 56:03Speaker 02

  And then he broke off.

• 56:03Speaker 02

  You're the meaning of my life. You're the inspiration. Huge hit.

• 56:06Bill Simmons?

  Twenty-five or six to four, like a whole bunch of them. So he broke off, started his own thing. A little like Phil Collins leaving Genesis.

• 56:13Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 56:14Bill Simmons?

  Here are the, August 2nd comes number one. Here's who we beat out.

• 56:20Bill Simmons?

  Number two, Sledgehammer, Peter Gabriel.

• 56:22Speaker 02

  Awesome. I wanna be Sledgehammer. So good.

• 56:28Bill Simmons?

  Number three, Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins.

• 56:31Speaker 02

  Heat.

• 56:35Bill Simmons?

  Papa Don't Preach by Madonna.

• 56:37Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 56:38Bill Simmons?

  Invisible Touch by Genesis and Higher.

• 56:40Speaker 02

  She seems to have an invisible touch. Yeah. These are my songs. I love it. Light FM radios everywhere.

• 56:46Bill Simmons?

  Higher Love by Steve Winwood was six.

• 56:50Bill Simmons?

  And then

• 56:52Speaker 02

  Think about it.

• 56:53Bill Simmons?

  Drop it down to number nine. Take Me Home Tonight by Eddie Money.

• 56:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 56:58Bill Simmons?

  I was, I was fired up to see him there. So anyway.

• 57:01Speaker 02

  Awesome. God, that's so good.

• 57:04Bill Simmons?

  That's our glory love break. I have two more. I have a ceremony when you decide to fall in love.

• 57:11Speaker 02

  Oh yeah. Love ceremony.

• 57:13Bill Simmons?

  So Kamiko is like, here's what we do. I make this tea and I turn the cups back and forth and

• 57:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 57:20Bill Simmons?

  If somebody had done this for me who looked like her when I was between the ages of 15 and 18, I, I would have needed medical attention. There's no question. It would have been just enough to have somebody like me, but to also be like, here's my tea ceremony and then I'm going to take stuff out of my hair. I would have been like, ah.

• 57:35Speaker 02

  Do whatever you want. You, you do a 12 course meal. Is it, I'm going to get some boob or something. I'll do anything. Poor LaRusso man. A fucking typhoon.

• 57:43Bill Simmons?

  Going full Forrest Gump in Jenny's room.

• 57:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 57:46Bill Simmons?

  Ah.

• 57:46Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 57:48Bill Simmons?

  And then my last one was Sato with the fastest heel to baby face turn in movie history. The reverse of Hulk Hogan turning NWO.

• 57:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 57:57Bill Simmons?

  Just instantaneously. Good guy. What did you have for what's aged the best?

• 58:01Speaker 02

  We covered almost all of them, except for one of my favorite things. We've talked about this in the eighties movies. From the time the villain is defeated till when the, the credits roll is miniscule. I had it at 35 seconds before chosen is knocked out. We get credits. The fastest we've ever seen is when we did, um, we did sudden death with Van Damme in the hockey arena and it all blows up. And like, I think it's like 12 seconds and they're like, get out of here. The 4:30 showing is coming in. Get out of your seats. 35 seconds. They just don't do that anymore. They don't. And I'm like, I, I saw the Odyssey when he gets home and he, he kills Robert Pattinson. They don't roll the credits as Pattinson's dying. They do here.

• 58:40Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 58:42Bill Simmons?

  That's a great one. Uh, great shot, Gordo. I showed you the picture of Daniel Consoli Miyagi is a good one. What do you have?

• 58:49Speaker 02

  All right. So back to Sotera. They're on the date and Kamiko and Daniel son are running on the rocks and the Sotera kicks in and it's when he goes, take you to my castle. And as he hits the word castle.

• 59:01Bill Simmons?

  They showed the castle.

• 59:02Speaker 02

  Reveals itself. And it's just like, somebody editing has just, just lighting a fucking cigarette and putting his feet up on the table like, yeah, nail that shit with Sotera. Take me to my castle. And it's perfect.

• 59:15Bill Simmons?

  Denethys Benihana award scene stealing location. Um, Okinawa, which I was ashamed to find out in the research is not Okinawa. It's Hawaii.

• 59:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:25Bill Simmons?

  It's fine.

• 59:25Speaker 02

  Lot easier, lot cheaper.

• 59:26Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Lot cheaper. Yeah. Uh, but I thought that was great. But the winner is the climactic dance location, the castle. Pretty cool.

• 59:34Speaker 02

  It's so good.

• 59:34Bill Simmons?

  Castle is a great location. Loved it.

• 59:36Speaker 02

  Like when they're building that, they're like, people are going to have some sick final battles here in this place. And like, it looks great.

• 59:41Bill Simmons?

  Chess Rockwell Brock Laners Award for best character name. It's gotta be Sato, right?

• 59:46Bill Simmons?

  You have somebody else?

• 59:47Speaker 02

  I would hear chosen, like right on the nose.

• 59:50Bill Simmons?

  Chosen with a Z?

• 59:51Speaker 02

  Chosen.

• 59:51Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 59:52Speaker 02

  It's, there's a funny online joke right now where, um, Tom Holland's character in the Odyssey, Telemachus, he has a character who's his mentor and the character's name is mentor. And people are like, why would you just name a mentor? And then it's like, no, that's where the word mentor originated from, from that character. That's why he's mentor. So I think like chosen is right on the nose. He's the chosen one to follow Sato. That's right.

• 1:00:15Bill Simmons?

  Kid Cudi Pursuit Happened. That's where our best needle drop. Obviously glory of love. And was there a better title for this movie?

• 1:00:24Bill Simmons?

  So instead of Karate Kid Part Two,

• 1:00:28Bill Simmons?

  what if I offered you Karate Kid Two? Dot, dot, Okinawa.

• 1:00:33Speaker 02

  Hmm. I like a subtitle. I, I could, could I sell you on Karate Kid Two Okinawa Drift? Like I, I think we're right there. Like a kind of Fast and Furious.

• 1:00:44Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:44Speaker 02

  I think it's like Karate Kid Two Okinawa Honor or something like that, but they just called it two, and then they just called it three. I think it could use a subtitle.

• 1:00:51Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. All right. We'll take one more break and then you got a flex category.

• 1:00:55Speaker 03

  I'm pro football Hall of Famer Brian Dawkins, and I lived for a long time with something I did not know the name of. Major depressive disorder. I carry sadness and anger because I thought I could handle it alone, but I couldn't. Now I want to make sure others know that that support is out there. If you're experiencing similar symptoms, talk to a healthcare professional. Visit mddallies.com to watch my story.

• 1:01:21Speaker 04

  Paid partnership with Johnson and Johnson. Brian Dawkins has not prescribed Caplyta lumateperone.

• 1:01:32Speaker 05

  I needed more from my antidepressant, so my doctor added Caplyta lumateperone, proven to provide greater relief from depression symptoms than an antidepressant alone, building on my progress without starting over. Caplyta is for adults with major depressive disorder when used with an antidepressant and is available by prescription only. Individual results may vary. In clinical trials, weight gain was not common.

• 1:01:53Speaker 04

  Elderly dementia patients have increased risk of death or stroke. Caplyta is not approved for dementia related psychosis. Call your doctor about new or sudden mood changes, behaviors, or suicidal thoughts right away. Antidepressants may increase these risks. Report fever, confusion, stiff muscles, which may be life threatening, or uncontrolled muscle movements, which may be permanent. High cholesterol and weight gain may occur, as can high blood sugar, which may be fatal. Monitoring is recommended. Common side effects are sleepiness, dizziness, nausea, dry mouth, feeling tired, and diarrhea. These aren't all the side effects.

• 1:02:19Speaker 05

  Ask your doctor about Caplyta. Learn more at caplyta.com or call 888-252-4824.

• 1:02:25Bill Simmons?

  This episode is brought to by WeatherTech. Whether it's a pumpkin spice coffee that goes splat in your seat or a weekend tailgate that leaves your trunk full of gear and who knows what, you're going to want WeatherTech in your vehicle. Whether you call it fall, autumn, or spooky season, whether the mess is your fault, the kids, the dogs, or the weather's fault, you're going to want WeatherTech for American made floor liners and a cargo liner that laugh in the face of fall weather. Visit weatherTech.com today. All right, Kyle Brandt, flex category time. Let's go.

• 1:02:52Speaker 02

  All right. So I was trying to make it work with the Peter North Award for commitment, only so I could bring it up. Bill, have you seen this? Like, there's a Peter North documentary coming out.

• 1:03:01Bill Simmons?

  I'm well aware. Early August.

• 1:03:03Speaker 02

  All right. I, I just figured you and Sean were behind it. It's not your project. Like, no?

• 1:03:07Bill Simmons?

  I don't know if Sean's covering it on the big picture. I might be covering it on the Bill Simmons podcast.

• 1:03:12Speaker 02

  Dude, I so, I have such a stranger, like I feel so gross watching it, but I kind of have to watch it.

• 1:03:16Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:17Speaker 02

  And the, the, the fucking taglines. Wait till you get a load of him. And I'm like, yeah. I got, they're having lots of fun with the phrase coming soon, like all kinds of stuff. So yeah, I couldn't find Peter North though. This is what I went with instead. I went with the Todd Parker Award for best character entrance. You already mentioned, we saw the Sato posters at the airport. They drive him to a warehouse. You know, something's bad. It's all this warehouse lighting. The henchmen are there, the hard handshake. And then in the background, in this incredibly lit scene, Sato walks out like fucking Darth Vader onto the tent of four. He's got Hans Gruber's double breasted suit. He's got Mavs aviators. It's got this beautiful blow

• 1:04:01Speaker 02

  dried salt and pepper, pepper hair. And then Miyagi's like, Sato. And Sato goes, so coward. You return. And I was like, fucking Sato. That's how you went through a movie.

• 1:04:13Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. I don't know what Miyagi thought. He would be so excited to see him.

• 1:04:16Speaker 02

  He wanted to like hug it out and be like, let's go, bro. Sato was like, fucking kill you.

• 1:04:21Bill Simmons?

  I hate your guts.

• 1:04:21Speaker 02

  He was ready to kill him right there in the warehouse. And like, it just lets you know Sato means business and it's a great character entrance.

• 1:04:28Bill Simmons?

  Butch's girlfriend award for weak link of the film. I have a good one for this, but what do you have?

• 1:04:34Speaker 02

  Uh, I need a little more karate in my Karate Kid movie. Just, just a little more. We are at the 58 minute mark, an hour in before somebody gets kicked. It's just like, I know that we're doing the Okinawa thing and we're doing like a thinking man's movie, but I just need a little more fighting. I've already mentioned Kreese Miyagi, Sato Miyagi. We just need more of that. I, I like the relationship stuff, but you gotta give us a little more sugar early on.

• 1:04:57Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. If you're pay-per-viewing a porn, it can't be 58 minutes in the first time somebody gets naked. You're gonna sprinkle a couple. Yeah. Do a little karate along the way. I had a

• 1:05:10Bill Simmons?

  surprised you missed this one.

• 1:05:12Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:05:13Bill Simmons?

  Sometimes student become teacher.

• 1:05:17Bill Simmons?

  So Miyagi had a dead wife.

• 1:05:21Bill Simmons?

  From Karate Kid 1.

• 1:05:23Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:05:25Bill Simmons?

  Gets, gets super drunk. Remember in Karate Kid 1?

• 1:05:28Speaker 02

  Yes, yes.

• 1:05:29Bill Simmons?

  And starts talking about her and it's her birthday and he gets like absolutely hammered. Daniel-san has to put him to bed. He goes through some of his stuff and obviously really loved the dead wife.

• 1:05:41Bill Simmons?

  That wasn't, wasn't the, the girl he left behind in Okinawa. Never mentions, kinda, kinda sticks it in the back pocket, never brings it up. She doesn't know, seem to know that he got married.

• 1:05:56Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:05:56Bill Simmons?

  Kinda, kinda keeps it secret from her.

• 1:05:59Speaker 02

  And she's Japanese, right? She's not like from California, like she's not American, like she's not a white woman. This is Japanese.

• 1:06:05Bill Simmons?

  But she might've been a Japanese American that he met after World War II. But he said, hey, you never married? And in Karate Kid 2, the lady says, you know, I never did.

• 1:06:18Bill Simmons?

  There's a moment there where he's like, I actually did get married, but my wife is now dead. Nothing, doesn't, doesn't give anything to her. Just kinda hides it. She's gonna find out at some point and, and honestly, we're robbed from the scene of her getting mad that Miyagi got married. You got married, motherfucker? I've been living here in Okinawa for 45 years. This guy Sato, he tortures me. He's got the escort service and construction. He owns the deed to the village. I wasn't able to get married and you got fucking married, motherfucker?

• 1:06:47Speaker 02

  Hmm. Or, or Miyagi says it and she's like, I'm so glad you said that. I've been married three times. Yeah, I can't keep a man. I've been married everybody in the village. Anybody who will marry me. Thank God you said that.

• 1:07:01Bill Simmons?

  I worked for the escort service. She's like, thank God you said that. I thought you were with Daniel-san.

• 1:07:08Bill Simmons?

  What's Age the Worst? There's a clear winner for this. Kamiko just gets fucking punched in the scene. It's, it's stunning. It's awful.

• 1:07:20Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:07:20Bill Simmons?

  I was watching with my son and when it, when Chosen doesn't slap her, like gets a punch. My son was like, oh, gave one of those. It's shocking.

• 1:07:30Speaker 02

  We see this a lot. We see it a lot where the, the woman tries to help and it's often like kinda trying to choke from behind. And a lot of times she'll get like thrown or something and it's all horrible. Or like she'll get backhanded and I don't wanna like calibrate the violence, but to your point, the full-on roundhouse right was excessive. And I, I was like, oh shit, they didn't do that. Like he just full-on, full punches her.

• 1:07:53Bill Simmons?

  No, this was like Draymond punching out Jordan Poole. Like this was like.

• 1:07:57Speaker 02

  This is, this is like Kermit Washington.

• 1:07:59Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, this is fucking horrible. I can't believe, like.

• 1:08:02Speaker 02

  Unbelievable.

• 1:08:02Bill Simmons?

  I can't believe the director was like, just do, every time we have this scene, it's always the, the backhand slap where you, you could be like, ah, maybe he didn't realize she was there. But this is like, no, he's actually just punching her. It's pretty brutal. I was surprised.

• 1:08:19Bill Simmons?

  More would say the worst. Every Daniel scene with Kamiko, like as, as great as she looks, like I can't say like the sexual attention is lighting my TV on fire.

• 1:08:30Speaker 02

  It's a little bit, it's a little, this is wheelhouse for you. It's a little Tom Cruise, Jennifer Connelly. It's a little silly, like we're not, there's not real fireworks here. But I, every scene, I'm just looking at her. I'm like, God, she's so pretty, such a pretty actress, but it's not great between them.

• 1:08:50Bill Simmons?

  My next What's Age the Worst is the poster.

• 1:08:53Speaker 02

  Oh, what do you got?

• 1:08:57Bill Simmons?

  Can you see it?

• 1:08:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, you got the keyboard up.

• 1:08:59Bill Simmons?

  Oh, damn.

• 1:09:00Speaker 02

  So it's a profile shot with them in the sun and then like, what's the tagline?

• 1:09:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're dead fucking serious too.

• 1:09:08Bill Simmons?

  It's just like, oh, I kept hitting the keyboard thing.

• 1:09:13Bill Simmons?

  It's just, it's Daniel-san just kind of behind Miyagi. I don't know, I might've gone with Plan B. It's, it's not exactly like a date movie. And then I had Miyagi breaking the guy code with Sato. I just, it's always bugged me for 40 years. What did you have for What's Age the Worst?

• 1:09:31Speaker 02

  Covered almost all of them. Kreese beating up the students, Miyagi's fighting, Miyagi's Daniel-san relationship.

• 1:09:38Speaker 02

  That's what I got.

• 1:09:38Bill Simmons?

  Okay. Ruffle Hannah Rubenek Partridge overacting where it has to be Sato.

• 1:09:45Speaker 02

  It's, it's.

• 1:09:46Bill Simmons?

  Every scene is like this.

• 1:09:50Speaker 02

  But what about Chosen? Broken ice or broken neck?

• 1:09:54Bill Simmons?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:09:54Speaker 02

  He's bringing it too. But in their dojo, they act hard.

• 1:09:58Bill Simmons?

  I support both of it. All right. The CR thinks Luke Wilson should have been Harris support, hottest take award. What do you have?

• 1:10:06Speaker 02

  I got something.

• 1:10:08Speaker 02

  The reason that Elizabeth Shue is not in this movie is Troy Aikman. Hear me out. In this year, 1986, a young quarterback transferred from Oklahoma under Barry Switzer to Terry Donahue's UCLA Bruins. Because of the transfer rule, that quarterback Troy Aikman had to sit out for a year. Aikman's sitting around in LA, nothing to do, a little bit bored. He's got the feather Johnny hair. He's got the leather jacket. He's a jock. I think he's 20, Ally's 18. They met, she loved him. He's, he's very charismatic. And because of Troy Aikman, my ESPN colleague, Bill Simmons, that is the reason that Ally broke up with Daniel LaRusso because of Troy Aikman.

• 1:10:45Bill Simmons?

  The parents are steering her toward him.

• 1:10:47Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:10:48Bill Simmons?

  This kid.

• 1:10:48Speaker 02

  He's gonna be a big star.

• 1:10:49Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, this guy's, this is the kind of person you should be dating, not this weirdo who hangs out with the maintenance man in his apartment building.

• 1:10:54Speaker 02

  Dressed up as a shower.

• 1:10:55Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:56Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:10:56Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, no, get away from this guy. This guy's hitcher wagon to him and they.

• 1:11:00Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:11:00Bill Simmons?

  I really like that.

• 1:11:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, 1986.

• 1:11:02Bill Simmons?

  The timeline does work.

• 1:11:06Bill Simmons?

  I just think two and three should have been swapped in the Karate Kid trilogy.

• 1:11:10Speaker 02

  Tell them, tell me why. This is good.

• 1:11:12Bill Simmons?

  We go, two is a year later, the breakup makes sense. Maybe Daniel drops out of college. The breakup makes more sense. The tournament's coming. It's a little closer. Maybe he, he's not too old to be in the tournament, like look like in three. And then they, they could go to Japan for, for three.

• 1:11:35Bill Simmons?

  He can be any age at that. He can be a junior in college at that point. It doesn't really matter. It doesn't have to be like the next day, this 18-year-old get going to Japan. And I think it's a better third movie.

• 1:11:44Speaker 02

  It's a good take. I, I think that their burden was with this movie. They're like, how do we kick it up a notch?

• 1:11:49Bill Simmons?

  How do we blow it out?

• 1:11:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, because, because the essence of this movie is it's not a tournament anymore. This is for real. That's like the line and everything. In fact, there's that moment on the airplane. It's almost like an okay motherfucker moment where Daniel's like, there's no referee? How do you know who wins? And Miyagi's like, the one who doesn't die, doesn't win. Like, he's like, oh shit. That's how it is now? Because the real problem with that, Bill, is that how do you then come back to the tournament for Karate Kid 3? Which is a whole different burden.

• 1:12:17Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, we'll deal with that with Karate Kid 3.

• 1:12:19Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:12:20Bill Simmons?

  Casting what ifs. So Elizabeth Shue is, was kinda salty. She wasn't in KK 2. She had gone to do studies at Harvard and wasn't pleased with getting written out and didn't like the UCLA football thing. She was like, I would've, I would've done it. But I, I think it's, I think she makes out fine not being in this person.

• 1:12:39Speaker 02

  She fell into the Back to the Future franchise, but I don't have any sympathy for her. It's fine.

• 1:12:45Bill Simmons?

  Bill Conti.

• 1:12:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:12:47Bill Simmons?

  Chose to score this movie instead of Rocky IV.

• 1:12:51Speaker 02

  Okay. Tell me more.

• 1:12:54Bill Simmons?

  Goes further. Peter Sotera wrote Glory of Love for Rocky IV. Stallone rejected it in favor of Hearts on Fire.

• 1:13:03Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:13:03Bill Simmons?

  I think all of this worked out perfectly.

• 1:13:06Speaker 02

  It did. And here's why. Glory of Love is a love song. Rocky IV is not a love movie. Rocky IV is a revenge movie.

• 1:13:15Bill Simmons?

  It's a revenge workout movie.

• 1:13:16Speaker 02

  Yes. And like, I think Glory of Love, I was saying it's like maybe the most romantic song ever written. It's still not even in the top three songs in Rocky IV. I would take Training Montage, Hearts on Fire and No Easy Way Out all over them. It's like, there's no room at the end. I'm sorry, Glory of Love, you're great, but not in this movie.

• 1:13:33Bill Simmons?

  Glory of Love doesn't make sense to me in Rocky IV.

• 1:13:35Speaker 02

  No, it's not a love movie.

• 1:13:36Bill Simmons?

  I think it all worked out. That's that guy, Sato. I don't even care what his real name is. If I see him in anything else, it's like, Sato!

• 1:13:44Speaker 02

  Well, no, we definitely Sato, but we gotta shout out our guy Clarence Gilliard. I mean, the guy who was sundown in Top Gun, the guy who was Theo in Die Hard, the guy from Milwaukee, Texas Ranger. He's at the ice bar. He's kind of like the MC, he's got a tank top on. And he did this and Top Gun in the same fucking year. Like everything was coming up Clarence Gilliard, whose name I didn't know, but I've been watching him my whole life.

• 1:14:07Bill Simmons?

  That's so good. I didn't even have him written down. You even trumped me on that one. I think you're right.

• 1:14:11Speaker 02

  Clarence Gilliard. And by the way, I wish they would've thrown him a bone and put him in Top Gun Maverick. No sundown presence and now he's passed away. So, so, yeah, he's not with us.

• 1:14:20Bill Simmons?

  Dionne Wade is a word, goes to Kreese. He's in one scene, crushes it.

• 1:14:24Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. Perfect.

• 1:14:26Bill Simmons?

  My recasting couch director city, Elizabeth Shue should've had a scene in this movie.

• 1:14:31Speaker 02

  I know.

• 1:14:32Bill Simmons?

  Just have a breakup scene. Have Daniel-san at, at the prom. We can get Johnny Lawrence in there. We can have her with some quarterback and Daniel-san storming out and the, like, why not? What's the downside?

• 1:14:46Speaker 02

  Tough movie for William Zapka, huh? Like he just shows up, gets choked out and then he's not in it anymore. He must've been pissed.

• 1:14:52Bill Simmons?

  He must've, plus he's like, this is like, he's writing them, swinging things here with just one of the guys back to school. He's got, he's got it going and then he's like basically fodder in this one. Half Fester and Research, they filmed in Oahu in a place, a part of the island known as the Windward Side. Apparently the actor BD Wong shows up at the dance. He's a kid, so he's in there.

• 1:15:17Speaker 02

  Oh, BD Wong from Howard Weinstein, from Prince, from Father of the Bride, Jurassic Park. He shows up, he's like, hey, there's a dance going on. And he was like, there's BD Wong. Like that's the man. He was in Law and Order 2.

• 1:15:28Bill Simmons?

  Martin Cove claims that the blood on his hands was real and that he still has scars on his hands. I'm gonna just not believe that one.

• 1:15:39Speaker 02

  Come on, Cove.

• 1:15:41Bill Simmons?

  And then the Karate Kid 2 video game, which you mentioned, not the computer game. There was a, a swinging axe in the video game.

• 1:15:50Speaker 02

  Fucking awesome.

• 1:15:51Bill Simmons?

  We didn't mention that scene in the movie. And then they played the song, The Fascination Waltz, the limo trip from the airport with Chosen, which was also the song playing at the country club party in the Karate Kid 1.

• 1:16:02Speaker 02

  Look at that.

• 1:16:02Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:03Speaker 02

  Look at that.

• 1:16:05Bill Simmons?

  Uh, throwing this one in, the Rose from Titanic award for character who sneaky sucks.

• 1:16:10Speaker 02

  Who is it? I can't wait. I haven't thought.

• 1:16:12Bill Simmons?

  I had Daniel-san.

• 1:16:14Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. Not sneaky, though.

• 1:16:17Bill Simmons?

  Is he sneaky sucker or openly suck?

• 1:16:19Speaker 02

  Rose openly sucks too, though, so it's alright.

• 1:16:22Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, just wanted to mention him. Apex Mountain, Macho. I'm gonna say yes. I think, cause coming, this was bigger than one. This leads to, um, I don't know, he does Crossroads, he does Karate Kid 3, he does eventually My Cousin Vinny. Like, I think the fact that Karate Kid 2 made money was good for him.

• 1:16:41Speaker 02

  I have a question for you.

• 1:16:42Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:42Speaker 02

  Let's talk about Macho for a second. Let's say his parents or his managers or whoever jumped in and made a different move. And after Karate Kid 1 blows up, they're like, no, no, no, you're done. We're not doing any sequels. We're gonna do your own thing. We carved. Is there a world where Macho could have become like John Cusack? Like, could, could he have had that career? Could he star in romantic, could he be holding up the radio for Diane Court? You see, could Macho have done that? It's hard to see him with, not Daniel-san, but I just wonder if he ditched it after the first movie, if he could have had a different career.

• 1:17:19Bill Simmons?

  Really good thought exercise. I appreciate you considering me for this.

• 1:17:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:17:24Bill Simmons?

  I think his face is too punchable. I think the secret to the trilogy was also the downfall for him as an actor. Punchable face. And the only time it really worked was My Cousin Vinny, where he has to play, yo, hey! So he could basically do punchable face, hero guy, or like gregarious Italian guy? I don't know if there was a third pitch. I think he just had the fastball and the curve and that was it.

• 1:17:52Speaker 02

  Oh, look, I mean, listen, ultimately, he agreed with you. He's like, let's just go back to LaRusso as an adult, living in the valley, running a car dealership. And it worked, and that series is great. I, I, it's, especially since how fast they made Karate Kid 2. To have the dexterity at that point, to be like, no, I'm out, I'm out. Like, I don't think it could have happened. And I think once he did the second one, it was over.

• 1:18:11Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, like, if you're Leo DiCaprio, it's a little different. You're like, yeah, I'm not doing sequels. I have a whole giant career. I don't know. You know, could Macho have been the Emilio Estevez part and stake out the next year with Richard Dreyfuss?

• 1:18:24Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 1:18:24Bill Simmons?

  Probably not, right?

• 1:18:25Speaker 02

  No, I don't think so. I mean, he's a talented actor, but like, you don't watch him and be like, god, he's an incredibly gifted actor. You just, he's a cute kid and he's good in the part, you know?

• 1:18:34Bill Simmons?

  He's perfect for Daniel-san.

• 1:18:35Speaker 02

  He's, he is Daniel-san.

• 1:18:37Bill Simmons?

  Morita, Apex Mountain, I think was Karate Kid 1.

• 1:18:40Speaker 02

  Oscar nominated, it's incredible.

• 1:18:44Bill Simmons?

  Apex Mountain for Hawaii, pretending to be Okinawa, yes. Apex Mountain for everybody else in the movie, basically? I think every actor or actress in this movie, this was probably the best, most famous movie they were in. The twisty drumstick thingies, whatever those are?

• 1:19:02Speaker 02

  They were everywhere afterwards. You could buy those. People had those. Like, they were souvenirs that you would get, and they were fun to play with.

• 1:19:07Bill Simmons?

  Had a moment.

• 1:19:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:19:09Bill Simmons?

  And then, uh, homoerotic, sensei, sensei student relationships. The answer is Karate Kid 3, which we'll be covering on the rewatchables for the end of 2025. By the way, the entire trilogy is on Netflix for the rest of the year, so you can bang out KK1, KK2, KK3, Cobra Kai, like, whatever you want to do with the Karate Kid franchise, it's there.

• 1:19:31Speaker 02

  Dude, I, I was watching the end of Karate Kid 2, and I just let it kind of lapse into the next movie.

• 1:19:35Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:36Speaker 02

  Next thing I knew, I'm a half an hour into Terry Silver's house, just hanging out, having champagne, loving life.

• 1:19:41Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:41Speaker 02

  It's easy.

• 1:19:43Bill Simmons?

  Cruz or Hanks? This is a tough one, because there's only one American part.

• 1:19:49Speaker 02

  By the way, how about our boy Cruz at the World Cup?

• 1:19:52Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:53Speaker 02

  Holy shit.

• 1:19:54Bill Simmons?

  I thought he looked pretty good. He took out, he took out the cheek fillers, like.

• 1:19:58Speaker 02

  Is that right?

• 1:19:59Bill Simmons?

  His face looked more normal, or he, whatever, his face wasn't puffy like it was.

• 1:20:04Speaker 02

  He was, at one point, I think he was with the Muppets, and he looked like completely at home. Like, he was one of them. I've never seen him look more comfortable than when he was with, like, the Muppets and Kermit. I'm like, you're the fucking man, Cruz. I'll go to war for you. I don't care how weird you are.

• 1:20:18Bill Simmons?

  Would you buy Cruz as Sato?

• 1:20:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, he's gonna have to be like, in, like, taps, like, ripped bicep, the outsiders, like, kicking ass. And I would buy him as one of the, I mean, I wouldn't buy him as Japanese, but I'd buy him as like an American pupil of Sato, of Sato's, maybe Chosen.

• 1:20:36Bill Simmons?

  So maybe it's, yeah, because it's only Japanese parts. In the 80s, we could have done it. We can't do it now. But maybe it's Sato's, like, American chief of staff, played by Tom Cruise?

• 1:20:49Speaker 02

  I think it's, I think it's, if it's a white guy, we're letting have the part. I think it's Chosen. Unless you go back to the first one and he gets the Daniel-san part, you know?

• 1:20:56Bill Simmons?

  Good call. Hans Gruber scale villain ranking. Sato, when he's evil, is like legitimately like an eight and a half.

• 1:21:05Speaker 02

  I have written down, starts as a nine, fades to a five. It's like, he is pure evil to start. He's gonna like bulldoze this people's town because Miyagi won't fight him. Like, that's really, really evil. He killed all the fish. Uh, he's sending his henchmen to mess people up, but then he just goes soft. Gruber, Gruber's all in, dude. As Gruber is falling off Nakatomi, he's still trying to shoot McLean with the gun. Like, he's terrorist for life. Right. So there's no, there's no flopping if you're in Gruber.

• 1:21:34Bill Simmons?

  It's a good point. Starts out as a nine, it drops. Chosen to the bitter end is at least an eight.

• 1:21:40Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, Chosen's a sociopath. Like, even at the end, he's like, die! It's like, shit, Chosen, you want to die?

• 1:21:45Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 1:21:45Speaker 02

  He's, he's in for the life.

• 1:21:46Bill Simmons?

  I forget when they brought him back for Cobra Kai, he shows up and they actually try to make him like a semi-good guy, right?

• 1:21:52Speaker 02

  He kind of becomes friends with Daniel-san, which is lame. I, I didn't like that part, but he does show up and he looks good, too. It's, if you've never watched Cobra Kai, it's all this season three is when they do the Karate Kid 2 stuff, and it's really good.

• 1:22:02Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. And, uh, Kamiko looks great. Pick a Nits.

• 1:22:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:22:07Bill Simmons?

  Little kids asking for Daniel's autograph after the All Valley Karate Tournament. I'm just not buying it.

• 1:22:13Speaker 02

  I fucking love it. I love it.

• 1:22:15Bill Simmons?

  There's no way. I was trying to think of myself at age nine. I'm just not doing that. I don't know who would.

• 1:22:22Speaker 02

  The, the magic of these movies is how big they make a karate tournament seem. Like, it's this NBA Finals, and the Super Bowl, and like, the Olympics, and like, there's this part that the Sklar's always joke about in Karate Kid 1, where Daniel's like, have you heard about the new karate tournament? Ally's like, who hasn't? Like, of course. Like, there's gonna be lots of traffic around the Karate Kid tournament. Like, it makes such a big deal.

• 1:22:49Bill Simmons?

  We talked about Ally telling Daniel at the prom she was in love with the USA football player who did your Trey Aikman thing. Why would she tell him this at the prom?

• 1:22:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't know. It's very dramatic.

• 1:22:58Bill Simmons?

  Like, next day, maybe? Maybe get through the prom first? Or don't go to the prom?

• 1:23:03Speaker 02

  Better question, though. Like, six months together. How's, how's the prom night for those two? Uh, what are we up to? Like, are Bill and, are, are LaRusso and Ally, like, are they doing it? Like?

• 1:23:14Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 1:23:14Speaker 02

  Probably, right?

• 1:23:15Bill Simmons?

  Mid-80s? Yeah, I feel like they are.

• 1:23:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:23:18Bill Simmons?

  Maybe Daniel-san needed a little more life in the Miyagi.

• 1:23:22Speaker 02

  Maybe.

• 1:23:24Bill Simmons?

  You mentioned this earlier. Why didn't either Sato or Suki move to America at any point?

• 1:23:30Speaker 02

  I don't know. Endless resources for Sato. All your whole life is about how Miyagi, you need to fight him. Go fight him in Reseda.

• 1:23:37Bill Simmons?

  Go find him.

• 1:23:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, fight him on Van Nuys. It doesn't matter. Fight him in the valley. He just waits.

• 1:23:42Bill Simmons?

  And Suki, this is the love of your life. You're never gonna try to hunt him down. I wrote down ironically, we are at least one good training sequence or karate fight short, which you already covered.

• 1:23:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:23:53Bill Simmons?

  Where do you stand on the Okinawan speaking broken English to each other?

• 1:23:58Bill Simmons?

  I feel like we would have, in 2026, maybe just had them speaking Japanese with subtitles.

• 1:24:04Speaker 02

  Do the subtitles. No, but I, I don't know why Chosen is talking to Sato in English at all, in the village in Japan. No, it doesn't make sense.

• 1:24:11Bill Simmons?

  What, did you have any, uh, pick a Nits? We did all the other ones.

• 1:24:14Speaker 02

  This is, so when Daniel gets Chosen beaten at the end, and he does the nose honk, they, they ADR the nose honk. Like, he's not saying it. It's, did you notice that? Like, he goes, honk. Macho's lips aren't even moving. It's clearly dubbed later. It looks really bad. And I don't know, maybe it lends more cred, credibility to your theory that something was wrong with Macho in the final fight, like he's hurt or something? But if you watch it, when he goes, honk, his lips aren't moving. It looks really sloppy.

• 1:24:44Bill Simmons?

  Is this movie better with Wayne Jenkins, Fergie the florist, Zane Lowe, Robert Evans, Dr. Charles Nickel, Buffalo Bill, or someone else?

• 1:24:54Speaker 02

  Well, here's what happens. Sato will resort to anything to get an edge on Miyagi, and he finds out that LaRusso had this young love back in LA. So Sato, um, hires Wilford Brimley from the firm.

• 1:25:05Bill Simmons?

  Oh.

• 1:25:05Speaker 02

  And Wilford Brimley shows up with photographs, and he sits down on LaRusso and says, here's your alley. One day, walking to the mailbox, anticipating the arrival of her Redbook or Sharper Image catalog. What does she find instead? She finds heartache, Daniel-san. Go ahead, take a look. Devastating. Not just kissing, Daniel-san, the kind of intimate act, ceremonial tea and whatnot. Could be particularly hard for a young girlfriend to forgive and impossible to forget. So I knew you'll do your best to get your sensei here at midnight so I could fight him, right? Won't you, Daniel-san? That's it.

• 1:25:38Bill Simmons?

  Oh, he would have been great. That could have been, that could have, maybe Cruz could have played Brimley. That could, I would have.

• 1:25:44Speaker 02

  And Brimley's big then. Brimley's huge. It would have been a big fee to get him to go to Oahu to shoot it. But I think with those photographs and that Redbook magazine reference, I think it really rattled Daniel-san.

• 1:25:55Bill Simmons?

  I had either Alexi Lalas or Tony Romo. I don't know which one do you want to hear more?

• 1:25:59Speaker 02

  Are you, you better believe it's Lalas right now. Let's go.

• 1:26:03Bill Simmons?

  I love Lalas after the fight.

• 1:26:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:26:06Bill Simmons?

  Uh, where Daniel-san saves the village and Kamiko, and then it cuts to Lalas at the booth, and Lalas is like, I know Daniel-san won the fight, but I honestly didn't like how he looked. I, I don't understand the two-hand punches at all. I thought he took a lot of hits. And ultimately, I, I think if you're a Daniel-san fan, you can't feel good about that fight. I know he won. I know it wasn't for tournament, it was for real.

• 1:26:32Bill Simmons?

  But I just didn't like how he fought.

• 1:26:36Bill Simmons?

  Followed by Zlatan doing this.

• 1:26:42Speaker 02

  Cameras over here.

• 1:26:44Bill Simmons?

  Just a complete turn.

• 1:26:46Speaker 02

  See, I feel like, maybe I'm wrong. I feel like there is a text thread of you and CR and maybe some others, and it's just a lot of La La's content. And like, I really want to be on it. I feel like there's a text.

• 1:26:56Bill Simmons?

  We can definitely add you. Well, now it's over.

• 1:26:59Speaker 02

  So there is a thread.

• 1:27:01Speaker 02

  All right, I want in for 2030. I wanted for the next World Cup.

• 1:27:05Bill Simmons?

  I think La La's at a point when you're on TV and you know, it's not going well. I think you're, you just kind of buy into it, right? Like, ah, fuck it. I'm just, you want me to be the villain? I'll be the villain. Fine. You're, you almost become, you go full Sato.

• 1:27:19Speaker 02

  Is that what you and Jalen would do when going got tough?

• 1:27:24Bill Simmons?

  I wish we had, honestly.

• 1:27:26Speaker 02

  So coward. No follow up with me question.

• 1:27:32Speaker 02

  You no sold my thoughts on Jamal Crawford. It was very funny and you deliberately didn't laugh. All right.

• 1:27:42Bill Simmons?

  Oh, man. Just want to ask her who gets it. Morita?

• 1:27:46Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:27:47Bill Simmons?

  Sato?

• 1:27:47Speaker 02

  Peter Sotera.

• 1:27:48Bill Simmons?

  Oh, oh, yeah. Good call.

• 1:27:51Speaker 02

  For the glory of love.

• 1:27:52Bill Simmons?

  Good call.

• 1:27:54Bill Simmons?

  Probably an answerable questions.

• 1:27:57Bill Simmons?

  I have two. What do you have?

• 1:27:59Speaker 02

  All right, I got one for you. And it is a follow up. Is Daniel's son good at karate?

• 1:28:04Bill Simmons?

  Well, the crane technique got just fucking annihilated in the big fight scene.

• 1:28:09Speaker 02

  I forgot, we forgot to bring that up. It's one of the most powerful moments of the movie. When Daniel's son is getting his ass kicked and he's like, oh, break glass in case of emergency. Go to the crane kick and chosen just fucks it up. It reminds me of like, let's say like the, the 2008 football season after the Giants beat the Patriots, week one, David Tyree goes to Eli and he's like, hey, Eli, just throw it up to me over the middle, man. I'll go up and get it with my helmet. It's going to be awesome. And Eli is like, ah, that shit's not going to work again. He tried to like, go back to the well of the crane kick. Not a fucking chance.

• 1:28:40Bill Simmons?

  I was thinking it was like when, uh, when the Pats would call the Edelman wide receiver pass.

• 1:28:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:28:46Bill Simmons?

  And they only did it like twice and each time it worked, but they do it the one extra time where he just gets annihilated. They read it that time. Yeah, the crane kick got swallowed up.

• 1:28:55Speaker 02

  Amendola threw the pass to Brady in the Superbowl and he dropped it.

• 1:28:59Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 1:28:59Speaker 02

  Anyway, um, I asked, is Daniel's a good at karate? Let me ask you this. If you were in a pinch, Bill Simmons, and you're in a dark alley, okay? And there's going to be like some sort of like podcast rumble and the people from like I heart and all that, they're gonna, they're gonna jump you. And you only get one person from the Karate Kid world, non sensei, like no Miyagi, no Sato. Who do you want on your side?

• 1:29:23Bill Simmons?

  So the part of my take guys are in the alley. They're just going to jump me. There's only one of me, two of them. Yeah.

• 1:29:28Speaker 02

  You get someone from the Karate Kid world to help you fight the part of my take.

• 1:29:32Bill Simmons?

  From the Karate Kid world?

• 1:29:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, like not, not Miyagi or Sato, but like, so put it this way.

• 1:29:37Bill Simmons?

  Anybody.

• 1:29:37Speaker 02

  Johnny, Daniel, chosen, Mike Barnes, any, who do you want?

• 1:29:44Bill Simmons?

  I mean.

• 1:29:45Speaker 02

  Do you take the Karate Kid? Like, do you take LaRusso? Probably not, right?

• 1:29:47Bill Simmons?

  I don't think he's a first round pick.

• 1:29:49Speaker 02

  I don't think so either, even though he beats all those guys.

• 1:29:51Bill Simmons?

  I would take Johnny Lawrence over him. I would take Dutch over him, hands down. We still never saw how he beat Dutch.

• 1:29:58Speaker 02

  You love Dutch.

• 1:29:59Bill Simmons?

  I would take chosen over him.

• 1:30:01Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:30:02Bill Simmons?

  I don't think chosen wins unless they do the drumstick thing. I thought that fucked with chosen's head.

• 1:30:07Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:30:07Bill Simmons?

  He was like, oh my God, my own village is now turned against me. And I just thought he was in the redhead space. And the Mike Barnes thing was a farce. Mike Barnes dominated him in that fight.

• 1:30:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:30:16Bill Simmons?

  And I think just, Mike Barnes actually got, we'll talk about it when we do KK three, but, uh, he just got too confident.

• 1:30:23Speaker 02

  He did. And he's not a bad coaching from Silver.

• 1:30:25Bill Simmons?

  It was a little Chong Li-esque where Chong Li thought he won and started doing, uh.

• 1:30:29Speaker 02

  Against Ray Jackson.

• 1:30:29Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:30Speaker 02

  So LaRusso beat all those guys that you're talking about, but he would still take them all in the pardon my take fight over LaRusso. And I agree with you. Isn't that weird? Even though he beat them all.

• 1:30:40Bill Simmons?

  I honestly, I think Sato might've been the best one of all of them.

• 1:30:44Speaker 02

  Definitely. I wish we could see Sato Miyagi.

• 1:30:46Bill Simmons?

  You saw him getting the stance once. I was like, oh my God, Sato.

• 1:30:50Speaker 02

  I think Miyagi's running from Sato because Miyagi knows Sato's going to fuck him up. He's bigger, he's madder, he's meaner.

• 1:30:55Bill Simmons?

  Sato would go, he would teach street classes, go right upstairs to the escort service, and then go show a couple houses and call it a day.

• 1:31:06Bill Simmons?

  Unanswerables.

• 1:31:09Bill Simmons?

  Was Suki a virgin?

• 1:31:13Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no, no way. I don't know. I think you want me to say yes. She really loved Miyagi.

• 1:31:22Bill Simmons?

  And couldn't be with Sato, was she just damaged goods at that point? Like, nobody else in the village could go near her because of Sato.

• 1:31:30Speaker 02

  You bring up a good point.

• 1:31:30Bill Simmons?

  And she's just like basically a nun. She's like a nun, like a non-practicing nun.

• 1:31:35Speaker 02

  Yeah. If she's not a virgin, it's because she did it with Miyagi.

• 1:31:41Speaker 02

  Before he left.

• 1:31:42Bill Simmons?

  It's a better answer.

• 1:31:43Speaker 02

  That's probably.

• 1:31:44Bill Simmons?

  Did suddenly nice heel turn reverse Sato end up with Suki?

• 1:31:50Speaker 02

  Well, I'm trying to think the Karate Kid three lore, like she, she's not in the movie, so.

• 1:31:55Bill Simmons?

  They don't exist after Karate Kid two. We have no idea what happens to any of these people until the Cobra Kai series.

• 1:32:00Speaker 02

  So, okay, so I watched the first half hour like last night. Daniel's mom asks him about Kamiko. There's a conversation about Kamiko and Kamiko got into like a dance school. So they're broken up.

• 1:32:11Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:32:12Speaker 02

  But there's nothing about Miyagi's love life. He doesn't even mention her. So he just ditches her again. I don't know. She probably jumps off a building or something. She had a hard life, that lady.

• 1:32:21Bill Simmons?

  That's it. Memorability you'd most want or not want from these movies? Obviously the drumstick thing is whatever those were called. You would want like, like the ones Miyagi used in the final scene or something. I also was a little partial to Daniel's robe.

• 1:32:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's, no, Daniel's robe is cool.

• 1:32:38Bill Simmons?

  The bright red, whatever robe he was wearing was cool. What do you have?

• 1:32:42Speaker 02

  I'm going to have some friends over for beers. We're going to go out in the backyard and they're going to be like, dude, is that Sato's fucking wood? And I'm like, yeah, you want to chop at it? I got it. Let's take some chops, guys. And they'll all just line up and chop their shit and hurt their hands. I want that in my backyard with a koi pond and all that shit.

• 1:33:01Bill Simmons?

  You have an ER doctor back there for everybody?

• 1:33:03Speaker 02

  An orthopedic surgeon. Everyone's breaking their hand, but at least you get a shot at the Sato wood piece. I want that thing bad. Where is that? Those auction sites you're always going on, like, they gotta have that somewhere. I want that.

• 1:33:14Bill Simmons?

  What, uh, auction site recently had Reg Dunlap slapshot Charleston Chiefs jersey.

• 1:33:19Speaker 02

  See, they got that.

• 1:33:21Bill Simmons?

  I had a friend of mine mailing it, mailing it to me like, just get it. I'm like, what am I going to do with this? Like, wear it on a podcast? Also, Paul Newman was like five, five eight, like, I couldn't wear it. Coach Finstock, Mr. Miyagi Award, best worst life lesson. A person with no forgiveness in heart live in either worse punishment than death. I think it's a decent life lesson. Like, learn how to move on.

• 1:33:47Speaker 02

  For sure. The 45 year thing is absurd. I have a, hey Miyagi, don't shoplift the pootie from your best friend. How about that? Put that in your book.

• 1:33:57Bill Simmons?

  That's a great one. Uh, best double feature choice. Would you go KK one or KK three?

• 1:34:02Speaker 02

  I got the Peter North documentary. Uh, where do you get a load of him? I would go KK three. It stands alone with the sequels. It's coming soon, Bill.

• 1:34:14Bill Simmons?

  Do you think the Peter North documentary goes into the controversy when he did a couple of gay films that popped out?

• 1:34:20Speaker 02

  Yes, I do.

• 1:34:21Bill Simmons?

  You think that they cover it?

• 1:34:23Speaker 02

  I think they cover everything. But, I mean, the movie's called Peter. And he, I watched the trailer. He's Canadian. He's like, yeah, my name's not Peter North. I'm just this guy from Nova Scotia. And then like Janet Jamison's in it. Like, I already feel disgusting, but I think I have to watch it. We should do it on rewatchables.

• 1:34:38Bill Simmons?

  If it's good enough, we will.

• 1:34:40Speaker 02

  So we're doing Peter. Let's go. Kyle Van Lathan are here.

• 1:34:43Bill Simmons?

  By the way, Peter North, great name.

• 1:34:46Speaker 02

  Fucking incredible.

• 1:34:47Bill Simmons?

  Think about, like, I don't think people realize the double meaning of Peter North.

• 1:34:53Speaker 02

  All right. So very quickly.

• 1:34:55Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:34:56Speaker 02

  I got to meet Peter North once.

• 1:34:58Bill Simmons?

  Oh, wow.

• 1:34:58Speaker 02

  I met him in Los Angeles. Nice to meet you. How are you? And he was telling me he has a production company now. He makes porn. The name of the production company, Bill, is North Pole Productions. I'm like, you fucking hero, Peter North. Look at you.

• 1:35:12Bill Simmons?

  Great job by him.

• 1:35:13Speaker 02

  North Pole. Uh, it's just great.

• 1:35:16Bill Simmons?

  We had a friend of my Vegas crew, my friend Mike, like mildly looked like Peter North. And it was 20 years of jokes.

• 1:35:24Speaker 02

  That's great. I need to see Mike now. I've always thought he looks like Ben Folds from Ben Folds five, Peter North, but I want to see Mike.

• 1:35:30Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Uh, who won the movie? Who won Karate Kid two?

• 1:35:35Speaker 02

  I have a controversial answer.

• 1:35:36Bill Simmons?

  Sotera?

• 1:35:38Speaker 02

  Peter Sotera, Bill, I think is what is remembered for. I think this is one of those movies that you remember the song. Like, I'm, I'm talking about like Prince of Thieves, um, The Bodyguard. Like those movies, the song comes to mind, An American Tale, that comes to mind before the fucking movie. And I go back to that Schrager text. We're doing Karate Kid two. I'm a man who will fight for your, I think that's what people think of. I think it's Peter Sotera.

• 1:36:02Bill Simmons?

  Really good answer. I'm going with Morita, but.

• 1:36:04Speaker 02

  Great.

• 1:36:05Bill Simmons?

  I respect the Sotera. The important thing is no votes for Machio.

• 1:36:08Speaker 02

  No, zero. No, no, no, no.

• 1:36:10Bill Simmons?

  You could have talked me into Sato too.

• 1:36:12Speaker 02

  I love Sato.

• 1:36:13Bill Simmons?

  Coward! You come to fight me now!

• 1:36:17Speaker 02

  He's having this wood break his rib cage. He can barely get oxygen, but he's still like talking shit. He's so mad.

• 1:36:25Bill Simmons?

  Really? Really had his honor violated.

• 1:36:28Speaker 02

  Now, 45 years later.

• 1:36:29Bill Simmons?

  Violated. Karate Kid two. Well, we did it, Kyle Brandt.

• 1:36:32Speaker 02

  We did.

• 1:36:33Bill Simmons?

  We finished Karate Kid two, which now enables us at some point in 2026 to do the funniest movie of the 1980s, Karate Kid three. So we'll save that for another time. Uh, you getting ready for football season or what?

• 1:36:45Speaker 02

  Very ready. This morning I made my premiere, uh, my debut appearance on Get Up on ESPN. And it was bonkers to be there with Shefty and Greenie, but like really fun, really nice. And, um, you won't believe this, we talked some Cowboys. It was great.

• 1:37:01Bill Simmons?

  Talked some, they were in the B block?

• 1:37:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, we, I think it was the A actually, even after the World Cup. But no, uh, it was awesome. The people are very nice, well-produced. It's weird to be on a show that you've watched for a long time. It's even weirder to be on one they've competed against for a long time.

• 1:37:15Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 1:37:16Speaker 02

  But they were very, very cool. Very cool.

• 1:37:17Bill Simmons?

  Oh, that's interesting. It's a little like going WCW to WWE a little bit.

• 1:37:22Speaker 02

  It was a little bit like that.

• 1:37:23Bill Simmons?

  In your case, ECW.

• 1:37:25Speaker 02

  Yes, exactly right. But I liked it. I'm going again tomorrow.

• 1:37:28Bill Simmons?

  All right, great. Have fun. Thanks, Kyle Brandt. Pleasure as always. Thanks to Eduardo and Gahow as well. And, uh, we'll see you next week on the rewatchings.

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