A Rewatchables Summer Mailbag!

Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Craig Horlbeck open up the listener mailbag and debate new category ideas, unanswerable questions, and more. Producers: Craig Horlbeck, Chia Hao Tat, Eduardo Ocampo, and Matt Pevic The Ringer is committed to responsible trading. Please visit https://www.fanduel.com/predicts to learn more about the resources and helpline. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 1:06Bill Simmons?

  The Rewatchables is brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network. We have officially entered From Hell Month after one of the greatest episodes, if not the greatest episode in the history of the show, 2001: A Space Odyssey with the one and only Steven Spielberg and me and Sean. We are now entering officially From Hell World. The next three movies we're going to do are going to be, get ready, Single White Female, Hand That Rocks The Cradle, and The Good Son. And all of those movies are on Netflix, so you can watch them. First podcast is going to be going up on Monday. What you're about to see is a mailbag.

• 1:44Bill Simmons?

  It's The Rewatchables, presented by FanDuel Predicts. You can predict the summer soccer showcase with FanDuel Predicts. From the opening game to the final whistle, stay locked in. Sign up now for your $25 bonus on FanDuel Predicts. Go to fanduel.com/predicts to sign up. Offered by FanDuel Prediction Markets, LLC, a registered futures commission merchant. 18-plus restrictions apply. See terms at fanduel.com/predicts/bonus-offer-terms.

• 2:29Bill Simmons?

  All right, Evergreen Summer Mailbag. Craig Gorbek's here, our producer, sometimes on the pod. Chris Ryan, CR, the legend. I gave you no prep at all.

• 2:39Speaker 02

  None.

• 2:40Bill Simmons?

  We have some listener mailbag questions. Do you like when the no prep happens? Or you, you, you want the prep?

• 2:47Speaker 02

  If you want us to provide a list, sometimes it's nice. But otherwise, no, we can go, we can improvise it.

• 2:51Bill Simmons?

  Okay. This is from Gerard. I want to nominate a new rewatchables category. The Danny McBride Award for Best Character Entrance. Within a minute, you understand exactly who this guy is, why he's a problem, and why the movie went up a level. The criteria, immediate oh, hell, yeah for oh, no reaction. You cannot look away. You know, everything you need to know about the character. Instantly alerts you that you may have a who won the movie or Dion Waiters Award contender on your hands.

• 3:19Speaker 02

  Danny McBride has been a category name before.

• 3:24Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, he already has a category, but I don't mind this.

• 3:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:26Chris Ryan?

  This is based on his introduction to This Is The End, right?

• 3:29Bill Simmons?

  Well, I was thinking, we just did Animal House and Bluto, the first time you see him is a good intro. But like, there's really is an art to the entrance.

• 3:38Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, like Will Ferrell in Wedding Crashers, coming down the stairs.

• 3:41Chris Ryan?

  I would say Alec Baldwin in Glengarry is another one.

• 3:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:44Bill Simmons?

  I think there's some, some life to this one. The best entrance, but I think we already have a McBride category. So I could either move it or come up with a different entrance.

• 3:53Chris Ryan?

  Like, what, what's, what does Mason Miller walk out to? Is it corn?

• 3:57Speaker 02

  It is corn.

• 3:58Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 3:58Bill Simmons?

  Oh, like the Martin Rivera enters Sandman for best entrance?

• 4:02Speaker 02

  Some cue enters Sandman, the closer is here.

• 4:04Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, that's pretty good. I had a couple ones that I liked from over the years that I just, the iconic ones from my favorite movies. Reggie Hammond, first time you see him in 48 hours, he's singing Police. Todd Parker in Boogie Nights. When he comes into the party and I forget what song they're playing, but it does like the zoom in on him and it's like, Todd?

• 4:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:26Bill Simmons?

  Parker? Um, and then Lester Bangs was the other great one.

• 4:30Speaker 02

  For all's sakes.

• 4:31Bill Simmons?

  The first time he's doing Iggy Pop, amen. Um, really hard to just come in 25, 30 minutes into a movie and just take it over.

• 4:41Chris Ryan?

  When does Lecter show up in Silas?

• 4:43Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 4:44Bill Simmons?

  That's another good one.

• 4:44Chris Ryan?

  About half an hour and 25 minutes in?

• 4:46Bill Simmons?

  I think this is a category.

• 4:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's good.

• 4:48Bill Simmons?

  It's at least a flex. This is from Michael in Louisville. Love the pod. I'm getting married this fall. My wife asked that we have her childhood priest perform the ceremony. Imagine my surprise when I found out that this man was no other than Father Wayne Jenkins.

• 5:08Chris Ryan?

  That's his name?

• 5:09Bill Simmons?

  His name is Wayne Jenkins. And then he writes in all caps, damn, I didn't know I was dealing with super priest. We are going to be experiencing the joys of the sacrament for a long fucking time, big boy.

• 5:23Bill Simmons?

  I didn't know we had fucking Damien Karras over here.

• 5:27Bill Simmons?

  That's a good fucking priest word right there.

• 5:29Chris Ryan?

  Wayne is like the actual Wayne, I think is up for parole soon.

• 5:34Bill Simmons?

  Oh, really?

• 5:34Chris Ryan?

  He's in jail, yeah.

• 5:35Bill Simmons?

  Father Wayne Jenkins, is that a good or a bad sign for the wedding?

• 5:39Chris Ryan?

  I think it's great. They're gonna have a happy marriage. Congratulations also.

• 5:42Bill Simmons?

  I hope at least five people attending the wedding are making Wayne Jenkins jokes.

• 5:46Chris Ryan?

  It'd be great if like, does anyone have any like reason why these two should not be wed? And they're like, god damn, I didn't know we were asking for approval.

• 5:54Bill Simmons?

  Oh man, a motherfucking brick. This is from Pete D. He listens to all the rewatchable pods, thinks there's some trends that have emerged, including, he says, one of my favorites is the periodic discussion about renaming Dion Waiters. This comes up a few times a year when a Dion candidate has an especially strong performance.

• 6:16Chris Ryan?

  Oh, it's like we could rename this after.

• 6:18Bill Simmons?

  Baldwin and Glengarry, Hartman and So I Married an Axe Murderer. And then he writes, the discussion always goes something like this. Bill, maybe we should think about renaming the award after character X? Everyone else, character X was great, but I don't think we can rename it. There's something about Dion. Bill, okay, I guess we'll keep it as the Dion Award. Then about three months later, the exact same discussion occurs. In order of this. I suggest a new conditional award called the, we may need to rename the Dion Waiters Award. No, never mind. For an actor who gives such a great performance, the rewatchables team pretends to reconsider an award, then decides against it.

• 6:58Speaker 02

  That's good.

• 6:59Bill Simmons?

  It's a higher level than the typical Dion, reserved for only epic Dion performances. He keeps going.

• 7:05Speaker 02

  It's like you're a Dion Waiters Pro Bowler.

• 7:07Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, it's like, maybe you've been Dioned before, like you've done too many, like Walkin is Dion in multiple films, I think.

• 7:14Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 7:15Chris Ryan?

  He's like that in True Romance, he's like that in Paul.

• 7:17Speaker 02

  It's like a nomination.

• 7:19Bill Simmons?

  PT says, you could call it the Dion Plus Award in homage to Kendall Roy's ingenious Land Cruises pitch.

• 7:26Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 7:26Bill Simmons?

  Thought that was good. The Dion Plus? I like that. It sounds like we're spinning it off into, I don't know.

• 7:33Chris Ryan?

  I gotta check in on Dion. He's somebody who I imagine would have had a podcast by now.

• 7:38Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, where is he? Like, Terrence Ross is breaking down videos. Like, where's Dion? Frank M. writes in, hey, gang, I think Craig gets hottest take by saying you could cut the hitchhiker scene and there's something about Mary. Sometimes he needs a shock collar. I checked with HR and we can't give you a shock collar.

• 7:58Chris Ryan?

  I also think this is a good opportunity for you to be like, I don't think the Horlbeck scale is representative of you as a film fan.

• 8:06Speaker 02

  I want to address this. I think we should retire the Horlbeck scale because the purpose of the category is not to criticize good, long movies, it's to celebrate good, short movies.

• 8:18Chris Ryan?

  Yes.

• 8:19Speaker 02

  If I like a movie that's two hours and 15 minutes, I don't want to have to like, feel forced to.

• 8:24Bill Simmons?

  Wow, it feels like he's been taking shit for this.

• 8:25Speaker 02

  To rip a scene out of it. That's not the goal.

• 8:27Chris Ryan?

  I think you could.

• 8:28Speaker 02

  It's to appreciate a short movie, that's all.

• 8:30Chris Ryan?

  You should chime in when it's in the Horlbeck Hall of Fame.

• 8:32Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 8:33Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 8:33Bill Simmons?

  We forgot to do it for Animal House.

• 8:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean.

• 8:36Bill Simmons?

  What was Animal House? Like, an hour?

• 8:37Speaker 02

  Hour forty-five. Well, yeah, it's like, if we're doing Dunkirk, I'm not gonna be like, yeah, you can cut the hearty stuff.

• 8:43Chris Ryan?

  That's not the point of the, it's not my intention.

• 8:46Speaker 02

  Do we really need to be flying around?

• 8:48Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 8:49Bill Simmons?

  Do you want to retire the Horrill Beck scale?

• 8:50Chris Ryan?

  It's like, if, if something about Mary is two hours and 10 minutes, but I like the movie, I don't think it's in the spirit of the category for me to feel like I gotta remove a scene.

• 8:59Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 8:59Chris Ryan?

  However, I do think like seven minute abs, eight minute abs, not the funniest joke in the world.

• 9:03Bill Simmons?

  I thought it was fucking hilarious. Really hot takes. Colin K. writes in, he's been thinking about Apex Mountain.

• 9:11Chris Ryan?

  Yep.

• 9:11Bill Simmons?

  And he decided most cities have a respective apex mountain that, then that becomes the spiritual defining thing they're chasing. Like Chicago just wants it to be the mid 90s again so badly.

• 9:22Chris Ryan?

  Oh, like temporal apex mountain?

• 9:24Bill Simmons?

  So he listed a bunch of cities with what he thinks their apex mountain is.

• 9:27Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 9:28Bill Simmons?

  San Francisco, he said 2016.

• 9:31Chris Ryan?

  Well.

• 9:31Speaker 02

  Well, it's not 2016.

• 9:32Chris Ryan?

  Okay, but like this is for cost.

• 9:35Bill Simmons?

  Be 2015.

• 9:36Speaker 02

  It's 15.

• 9:37Bill Simmons?

  Like 17 or 15.

• 9:38Chris Ryan?

  Wait, are you talking about like tech or is he talking about what it looks like in the movie?

• 9:41Bill Simmons?

  I'm just reading what he said.

• 9:43Chris Ryan?

  Okay, just, I mean, it's not 2016.

• 9:44Bill Simmons?

  Right out of the gate with San Francisco.

• 9:46Chris Ryan?

  Me too, but I like, there's a crumb here where it's like, it's a kernel of saying like, actually Apex Mountain, San Francisco would be late 70s, early 80s, right?

• 9:55Bill Simmons?

  So that would have, my argument would have been late 70s, like post 30 hairy.

• 10:00Chris Ryan?

  Bullet.

• 10:01Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, and we're heading into.

• 10:02Chris Ryan?

  It's what Zodiac kind of goes back to, yeah.

• 10:06Bill Simmons?

  But I guess you could make a case like as Steph and the Warriors are taking off with the tech boom and the prices.

• 10:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, it might not have been the best, like San Francisco itself might not have been at its best.

• 10:15Chris Ryan?

  Basic Instinct is probably the happy medium between the two.

• 10:18Bill Simmons?

  I said, for me, it's 90s San Francisco. We talked about that in Basic Instinct. I thought mid 90s San Francisco was lights out.

• 10:23Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 10:24Bill Simmons?

  Like I, I would personally have that.

• 10:25Chris Ryan?

  You also can't say 2015, 20, because it wasn't even in San Francisco. The Warriors played at Oracle.

• 10:30Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. All right, so he's 0 for 1. Boston 2004, I actually agree with this.

• 10:35Chris Ryan?

  Because it's Sox?

• 10:36Bill Simmons?

  Sox, Patriots in full bloom, um, big dig, big dig is done.

• 10:41Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 10:41Bill Simmons?

  So we have, big ding took 10, 10 fucking years, finished. The city was transformed. It just all of a sudden, and of course I had moved by then, and every time I came back, I was like, how the fuck did we leave right before all this stuff happened?

• 10:55Chris Ryan?

  Big ding is done so Jem can get back and forth from Charleston, you know?

• 10:58Bill Simmons?

  They, they never were able to escape that North End robbery. He has New York City 1998. I don't know how I came up with that one.

• 11:08Chris Ryan?

  Ninety-eight, it's interesting.

• 11:09Bill Simmons?

  Pre nine eleven.

• 11:10Chris Ryan?

  Pre nine eleven.

• 11:10Bill Simmons?

  Yankees going strong.

• 11:12Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 11:12Bill Simmons?

  Knicks still in the mix. Um, I personally would have gone mid nineties for the, for New York for a variety of reasons. With the sports and just.

• 11:22Chris Ryan?

  SNL's in a decent spot in the late nineties.

• 11:24Bill Simmons?

  SNL's coming back.

• 11:27Chris Ryan?

  I mean, I like early two thousands just because of the music.

• 11:30Bill Simmons?

  But you had nine eleven at that point, though. That can't be Apex Mountain.

• 11:34Chris Ryan?

  I'm not saying it's Apex Mountain for like actual stuff. I just mean like, and that's also when I was there, you know?

• 11:39Bill Simmons?

  So I would say late seventies for New York.

• 11:44Chris Ryan?

  Warriors?

• 11:44Bill Simmons?

  All the shit that was going.

• 11:46Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 11:46Bill Simmons?

  Warriors. But you had SNL in full bloom. They're making all kinds of awesome movies there. The music scene has taken off.

• 11:53Chris Ryan?

  Ridiculous.

• 11:54Bill Simmons?

  It's the center of the porn industry.

• 11:55Chris Ryan?

  Sure.

• 11:56Bill Simmons?

  Professional wrestling.

• 11:57Chris Ryan?

  We haven't, we haven't moved west with our adult entertainment yet, yeah.

• 12:00Bill Simmons?

  It's just, I just feel like even though it was a little scummy and grimy in New York, it was just crushing it.

• 12:05Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 12:05Bill Simmons?

  Pre-Trump.

• 12:06Chris Ryan?

  Get a, get a cab. Travis Bickles, your driver.

• 12:08Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Chicago ninety-six. I have no notes on that. That makes sense. It would be somewhere in the second Jordan.

• 12:17Bill Simmons?

  I spent some time there in ninety-eight. Everybody was super happy. Seattle nineteen ninety-three, he says. I like it.

• 12:25Bill Simmons?

  Beginning of the grunge. Sean Kemp. Sonics are still there.

• 12:29Chris Ryan?

  Campbell Scott designing a super train is like.

• 12:31Bill Simmons?

  Ken Griffey's about to show up.

• 12:32Chris Ryan?

  Early tech rumblings.

• 12:34Bill Simmons?

  Mm-hmm. Yep. I'll say Philly for last. He has Pittsburgh is nineteen seventy-five. Just, just pro Steelers.

• 12:41Chris Ryan?

  Sure.

• 12:42Bill Simmons?

  The two most interesting ones. He had Los Angeles nineteen fifty-five.

• 12:48Chris Ryan?

  Isn't that like LA Confidential?

• 12:50Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I thought that was, I don't know why he had that. I would have said mid eighties for LA. Like with Hollywood and the Lakers.

• 12:56Chris Ryan?

  I was gonna say like Lakers Hollywood.

• 12:58Bill Simmons?

  People moving here. It was like the coolest place there. And then he has nineteen eighty-three for Philly.

• 13:03Chris Ryan?

  Well, that's Sixers. Phillies go to the World Series.

• 13:07Bill Simmons?

  Rocky Balboa.

• 13:08Chris Ryan?

  Right.

• 13:08Bill Simmons?

  The Phillies have just won.

• 13:10Chris Ryan?

  Well, they won in eighty, but they lost to Orioles in eighty-three.

• 13:12Bill Simmons?

  But you're, you're in the middle of your Phillies run.

• 13:15Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 13:15Bill Simmons?

  Eagles were in the Super Bowl in eighty.

• 13:16Chris Ryan?

  Flyer's good then. It's after Brought to You Bullies, isn't it?

• 13:18Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 13:18Chris Ryan?

  So yeah, uh, sure.

• 13:20Bill Simmons?

  Rocky III is out.

• 13:22Chris Ryan?

  Big five basketball popping off. See, yeah, I, I was in kindergarten, so I don't like have a picture perfect memory.

• 13:27Bill Simmons?

  Eighty-three seemed good. I had a couple ads. Hartford nineteen eighty-eight.

• 13:33Bill Simmons?

  ESPN's there, starting to take off, and they still have the whale, the whalers.

• 13:37Chris Ryan?

  Oh, my god.

• 13:38Bill Simmons?

  And then, uh, I was trying to think the Apex Mountain for Vegas, and I think it's late 90s.

• 13:43Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, that's always.

• 13:44Bill Simmons?

  Before it became commercialized, um, when it was still, there was a little bit underground.

• 13:48Chris Ryan?

  I would have loved to be there, like, the Mo Green era, that would have been good.

• 13:53Bill Simmons?

  Oh, yeah. It's banging cocktail waitresses two at a time.

• 13:55Chris Ryan?

  Mo Green!

• 13:57Bill Simmons?

  I'm excited for feedback on that, uh, and then to get.

• 14:01Chris Ryan?

  Well, we have to ask, like, so he's saying it's like the actual.

• 14:05Bill Simmons?

  Just like where people, cause the reason it resonated with me.

• 14:08Chris Ryan?

  If you could choose a year to live in the city, what year would it be? I would love to live in Milwaukee during, like, the Robin Yount era.

• 14:13Bill Simmons?

  Not the Dahmer era.

• 14:14Chris Ryan?

  No, no, but it seemed like pony bottles of Miller were everywhere, you know?

• 14:19Bill Simmons?

  Because Boston definitely was 2004. That was the single year you would have wanted to live in Boston.

• 14:27Bill Simmons?

  Chris Arrington wants to know, is there a movie you haven't done yet for rewatchables? Because it's so un-PC, you worry about backlash, and who would you want as co-hosts on that pod? So, really, Soul Man is Apex Mountain for this one.

• 14:41Bill Simmons?

  But I'm not against doing it. Blazing Saddles would be, I think, really hard to do.

• 14:45Chris Ryan?

  I don't know. I mean, I, Blazing Saddles is on Turner Classic Movies last night. Like, it's, it's still, I think, regarded very well. What about Revenge of the Nerds?

• 14:53Bill Simmons?

  That was the other one I had. But I would do all three of those. So, I don't, I don't feel like there is an un-PC. You'd have to go into, like.

• 14:58Chris Ryan?

  I mean, like, it's incredibly difficult to talk about Woody Allen's filmography and not address, like, the elephant in the room with him, and, and I think that a lot of those movies, like, are hard to talk about, but I still really love Annie Hall. Like, I'd love to do Annie Hall on.

• 15:12Bill Simmons?

  There's a couple, like, the, couple dark movies that probably aren't rewatchables, but like that Monica Bellucci movie and shit like that, we would never do.

• 15:21Chris Ryan?

  Well, we would never do that.

• 15:21Bill Simmons?

  Requiem for a Dream.

• 15:24Bill Simmons?

  Most rewatchable. This is a great one. Mike L. wrote this. My 72nd rewatch of Fargo gave me an idea. Do Peter Stormare's film TV characters have the weirdest resume of any actor in history? These are some of the things his characters have done. Murdered Steve Buscemi with an axe and stuffed him into a woodchopper. Eaten by a dinosaur. Got his ear bitten off by John Goodman. Helped Bruce Willis save the world from an asteroid. Swapped out Tom Cruise's eyeballs. Directed multiple actual snuff films. And helped George Costanza move the Frogger without losing his high score. Can any actor challenge this?

• 16:03Speaker 02

  We don't have that anymore, you know? No one's doing stuff like that.

• 16:05Chris Ryan?

  It is amazing. Honestly, incredible. Incredible.

• 16:08Bill Simmons?

  That's even without the snuff film. It's still, he still probably has the best one.

• 16:12Chris Ryan?

  I'm gonna start thinking about this when we do like, especially 90's movies where I'm like, you know, like this guy's been in 13, like what were his jobs?

• 16:19Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 16:20Chris Ryan?

  Yeah. Like, I wanna find out like what Cole Meany did besides being Con Air, you know?

• 16:24Bill Simmons?

  Oh, that's a good one. I had Madsen sliced off the ear in Reservoir Dogs and The Cop. He buried the bride alive in Kill Bill. He unleashed a black mamba snake in Kill Bill 2. He killed a horny hot female alien in Species. And he beat up people with a baseball bat in Brasko. Pretty good resume, not even close to Stormare.

• 16:49Chris Ryan?

  Kind of one note though, Stormare's really riding all over the place.

• 16:51Bill Simmons?

  Stormare's replacing eyeballs, he's directing snuff films.

• 16:54Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 16:55Bill Simmons?

  He's wood chippering people to death.

• 16:57Speaker 02

  Cause it's like the not quite leading man, but can be in every kind of movie as a side character.

• 17:02Chris Ryan?

  And it's gotta be something creative, like Cruise is just the best at everything he does. Like best bartender, best pilot, best spy.

• 17:08Bill Simmons?

  That was pretty good. David Foster, probably not the songwriter, writes in. Given the rewatchables often features movies frequently aired on TV back in the day. I'd like to suggest the new flex category entitled. The Breakfast Club, but Real Long Inspection Award. Alternatively, the Die Hard 2 Yippee Ki A Mr. Falcon Award. Alternatively, the Big Lebowski Find a Stranger in the Ops Award for did this movie have an epic profanity replacement? When aired on TV. So Real Long Inspection was actually Heat Hot Beef Injection. Yippee Ki A Motherfucker, you know that one? And then Find a Stranger in the Ops replaced. This episode is brought to by Ethos. As a parent, life insurance feels like a no brainer.

• 17:52Bill Simmons?

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• 18:24Bill Simmons?

  My favorite for this of all time was Freak the Freaking Diaz Brothers and Scarface. Scarface on TNT was incredible. There's 250 swears in it or something.

• 18:33Chris Ryan?

  And it's also like mountains of cocaine. Did they actually show him doing it on the TV?

• 18:37Bill Simmons?

  No, I think they cut it. Um, I don't know if you have a favorite.

• 18:41Chris Ryan?

  Well, I'll just say this is a dying art. You know, like there's not a lot of, there's not a lot of like basic cable movie that show things that are actually racy at all. It's always like.

• 18:51Speaker 02

  No, my memory of this is actually like, just like listening to the radio in my car and they have to like bleep out Eminem.

• 18:56Chris Ryan?

  Oh, like all of 50 Cent.

• 18:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:57Bill Simmons?

  Right. Robert Calvin writes in, after listening to the Tropic Thunder episode, I think there should be an occasional category called the Joel Anderson, I prefer welcome home Roscoe Jenkins award for is this movie still rewatchable? That was amazing. Joel roped it up though. He said he loved Tropic Thunder and then it turned out he didn't. I still kind of enjoyed having that energy in the pod.

• 19:21Chris Ryan?

  In the pod where I think the three of us all like just sort of we cede the platform to Joel.

• 19:26Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, we gave up. Uh, Kyle Potter, Craig, you're gonna love this one. New flex category, the Michael Sarah fucking pale, 110 pounds, hairless, probably has a huge cock, coked out of his mind award for excellence in portraying a fictionalized version of oneself.

• 19:44Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 19:45Bill Simmons?

  So it's basically like a self Dion Waiters.

• 19:47Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 19:48Bill Simmons?

  He votes for Keanu Reeves and always be my maybe. John Malkovich and be John Malkovich and Neil Patrick Harris and Harold and Kumar.

• 19:57Chris Ryan?

  That's great.

• 19:58Bill Simmons?

  And then said it could be extended to fictionalized portrayals of others like Anna Faris.

• 20:02Speaker 02

  Actors willing to subvert their reputation in movies.

• 20:05Bill Simmons?

  So he suggested Anna Faris taking down Cameron Diaz and Lost in Translation could be adjacent.

• 20:11Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 20:11Bill Simmons?

  I like that playing yourself.

• 20:13Chris Ryan?

  Do you like the, I wonder if Julia Roberts in Ocean's Twelve pretending to be Julia Roberts actually counts.

• 20:19Speaker 02

  It's like Bob Saget in Entourage pretending to be like the biggest asshole in the world.

• 20:24Bill Simmons?

  So I had Kareem in Airplane, Eminem in Funny People is a good one. I thought everybody loved Raymond. Bob Barker and Happy Gilmore, Lance Armstrong Dodgeball, Julia Roberts, Malkovich, and then Johnny Chan in Rounders is a good one.

• 20:38Chris Ryan?

  Barker's a really good one. Sorry, John, I don't remember.

• 20:43Bill Simmons?

  I think that could be added to the flex, though. I like it.

• 20:48Speaker 02

  Hundred ten pounds soaking wet probably has a huge cock.

• 20:53Bill Simmons?

  Sean Donnelly writes, you guys were talking about making a dramatic version of There's Something About Mary. There kind of already is one. The 1984 neo noir film Against All Odds. In it, LA Outlaws wide receiver Jeff Bridges, gangster James Woods, and Outlaws coach Alex Karas are all obsessed with the stunning Rachel Ward and drop everything to travel to Mexico to win her.

• 21:17Speaker 02

  Did you say LA outlaw wide receiver Jeff Bridges?

• 21:20Bill Simmons?

  Oh, Craig, this movie's amazing.

• 21:22Chris Ryan?

  Well, this is also where the Phil Collins song comes, right?

• 21:24Bill Simmons?

  Oh, yeah. This has one of the great car chases. Bridges plays like a washed up receiver, but yeah, these three people.

• 21:33Chris Ryan?

  Against All Odds is the song, but yeah.

• 21:34Bill Simmons?

  He says it's a sports film, but I feel like the Farrelly brothers were aware of it. That's pretty interesting. It does get a little There's Something About Mary at the end. They're all like obsessed with her.

• 21:44Chris Ryan?

  Yeah. I hadn't even thought about that movie in a long time.

• 21:47Bill Simmons?

  It's great. It's a good, it was on a long time. It's not good, it's very flawed.

• 21:53Chris Ryan?

  I may never have actually seen the movie. It's just that in the music video for Against All Odds, it's just footage from the movie and it's the whole story of the film.

• 22:01Bill Simmons?

  Rachel Ward.

• 22:02Chris Ryan?

  There's a good car chase in that movie, right?

• 22:03Bill Simmons?

  Really good car chase. Rachel Ward's throwing a hundred and two.

• 22:06Speaker 02

  Oh, I don't know Rachel Ward. What is Rachel Ward from?

• 22:08Bill Simmons?

  You should get to know her, Craig.

• 22:09Chris Ryan?

  Is that Taylor Hackford?

• 22:11Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 22:11Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 22:12Bill Simmons?

  Mike from Western Mass said, at the end of Dave.

• 22:18Bill Simmons?

  Movie that I'm, I'm ready to do the read, Dave.

• 22:20Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 22:20Bill Simmons?

  Really love that movie.

• 22:21Speaker 02

  When did you do Dave?

• 22:22Bill Simmons?

  Long time ago.

• 22:23Speaker 02

  Dobbins?

• 22:24Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, years ago. He says at the end, why, this is inside for people of this movie, but how is Dwayne, the Bing Rames character, not wearing a sweater vest in the last shot? Because there's a kitchen scene in the White House when Dave and Bing Rames are kind of, they're talking, they're eating a sandwich, and he says, "She wears sweater vests, they look good on you." And Bing Rames is like, "Really?" And he's like, "You could have brought that around." So he says that's the new category, the Dwayne Stevenson Sweater Vest Missed Opportunity Award for a very small choice that would have made the movie better. I'm gonna veto this, but I like the spirit of it.

• 22:59Speaker 02

  You like, why veto it? Just because you're like, that's-

• 23:01Bill Simmons?

  I just think it would be too hard, they had to figure out. But I like the idea of it. It would, really would have been a good idea if he had a sweater vest.

• 23:08Speaker 02

  Loose threads. It's like, you shouldn't tie a knot on that one.

• 23:11Bill Simmons?

  Mm-hmm. Blair Symes from Chicago says, "The Rewatchables is my favorite pod, and the Species episode is one of the best."

• 23:18Speaker 02

  All-timer.

• 23:19Bill Simmons?

  What about the Species Award for the thing no one notices or questions during the first view viewings, but then you see it and can't unsee it? So he says for him, "It goes to the supposed evil alien plot to take over the world by breeding aliens with humans. How's this supposed to work?" He says, "Natasha Henstridge is half-alien, but her kid would be quarter-alien, then it'd be eighth-alien, and so on. Eventually, human DNA is gonna water down the alien DNA, and you won't notice it. Humans down the road will just end up being 3% alien on their 23andMe test, like they're 3% Irish." Plus, didn't those aliens send us to secret to unlimited energy as well as their DNA? They were good dudes.

• 23:58Speaker 02

  It's a decent point.

• 23:59Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 23:59Speaker 02

  Yeah. I don't know if the DNA would be strong enough that it wouldn't get watered down, you know?

• 24:04Chris Ryan?

  Well, there's also the Henstridge is going around killing guys who are diabetic, you know, like, it's like, you basically, like, winnow down the, like, like, most, most human beings have some frailty, some flaw with them, so then you're just talking about her breeding with, like, six guys after a while.

• 24:21Bill Simmons?

  I like the idea, I was trying to think of other examples where when you've seen a movie too ti- too many times and then you realize a plot has just been completely ruined. Which basically is what's aged the worst or picking nits for us, but that's, that's a good one. It was the bad plan by the aliens.

• 24:36Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, it's like there's, there should be a special, like especially for ones that are like big movies for us, like the thing I noticed on the 12th viewing of this movie, you know?

• 24:45Speaker 02

  Well, and it's like, why can't the aliens just come down to earth in their natural form and just kill all the humans?

• 24:50Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, that could have been another move.

• 24:52Chris Ryan?

  Right, right.

• 24:53Speaker 02

  Why do they need to look like a human and seduce a human? It's like, couldn't they just kill him?

• 24:57Chris Ryan?

  Zap him?

• 24:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:00Bill Simmons?

  Silence of the Lambs is a good one for this, when they just have Lecter at the top floor with like one security guard.

• 25:08Chris Ryan?

  And he's also bringing in pork chop lamb chops and stuff?

• 25:10Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, and it's just, and he asks for a second dinner and like, boy, that's weird. Like, you see that enough times. What's the one we have for Heat for this?

• 25:18Chris Ryan?

  Uh, I mean, there's a lot of things in Heat where it's like, does this guy who's so disciplined really go back for Wingrove? You know what I mean? Like, he's, he's like so free?

• 25:27Bill Simmons?

  He's at the, he's at the airport. Mike Kaiser says, uh, that we missed a huge plot point in No Way Out. I'm glad people are listening to the library.

• 25:36Speaker 02

  Oh, I really liked No Way Out.

• 25:37Bill Simmons?

  I'd like to suggest you guys brand the, did this movie need a better ending category? And make it the Tom Farrell single-handedly lost the Cold War award.

• 25:45Chris Ryan?

  Oh, yeah.

• 25:47Bill Simmons?

  Which cost her, when, when, uh, Gene Hackman's character, it's like, I'll give you anything you want. Um, why not just be like, oh, I, I controlled the Defense Secretary now. I own Gene Hackman. Um, and then that could be the sequel and he just felt like he blew the opportunity. I'm gonna keep an eye on this. I don't know if it's a category, but I do like, like, yeah, he actually would have been better off just being like, oh, this is actually better for my Cold War leverage.

• 26:18Speaker 02

  Controlling it, yeah. The sequel, One Way Out.

• 26:22Bill Simmons?

  Jason Peters says, uh, this is a great one.

• 26:24Chris Ryan?

  Not Philadelphia Eagles tackle legend, no?

• 26:26Bill Simmons?

  Spinoff character you would greenlight for a new movie award. A character so interesting, you'd watch a whole movie based on them. And he mentions Baldwin and Glenn Gary. Um, but he came up with this because of Tom Cruise and Tropic Thunder could less Grossman have carried a movie. I say no, that's kind of, that'd be tough for an hour and a half. I did have a couple of possibilities for this, though. Dig 'em in the departed.

• 26:50Chris Ryan?

  That was talked about for a while, right?

• 26:52Bill Simmons?

  That could have been, definitely been a sequel.

• 26:53Chris Ryan?

  Which one is it?

• 26:54Bill Simmons?

  The Wahlberg character.

• 26:55Chris Ryan?

  Oh, Wahlberg, sure.

• 26:56Bill Simmons?

  Quint prequel we talked about when we did Jaws.

• 26:59Chris Ryan?

  Mm-hmm.

• 27:01Bill Simmons?

  Could have gone back, maybe even gone back all the way to World War II there. My two favorites, Dino, a stormer, second reference, Dino Velvet.

• 27:10Chris Ryan?

  Eight millimeter?

• 27:11Bill Simmons?

  Eight millimeter prequel as he dives into the world of stuff films.

• 27:15Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 27:16Bill Simmons?

  But then, obviously, the answer is Caruso and Proof of Life. We call it Stuff of Legends.

• 27:20Chris Ryan?

  Oh, wow.

• 27:21Bill Simmons?

  Stuff of Legends, the Proof of Life sequel.

• 27:23Chris Ryan?

  Dino on another case.

• 27:24Bill Simmons?

  Crow's not in it, maybe he has a cameo, maybe he just calls in, but, uh, but yeah. Caruso's doing a second.

• 27:30Chris Ryan?

  I saw a, randomly saw like a Russell Crowe press conference or podcast where he was talk, Proof of Life came up and he was like, my girlfriend at the time, Meg Ryan, and I was like, yes.

• 27:43Bill Simmons?

  Wow, he admitted that?

• 27:44Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 27:44Bill Simmons?

  Oh, my god.

• 27:46Chris Ryan?

  That was on Front Street, everybody knew that was happening.

• 27:48Bill Simmons?

  But she was married. They were like, interesting. Uh, Abigail wants us to have a new category. Would this movie be better with Buffalo Bill or Little Bill?

• 28:00Bill Simmons?

  Couldn't quite get there, but did think about it.

• 28:01Chris Ryan?

  It's, I like it.

• 28:03Bill Simmons?

  It's like Little Bill.

• 28:04Chris Ryan?

  Do you have a Little Bill impression ready to go?

• 28:05Bill Simmons?

  I think Little Bill.

• 28:10Bill Simmons?

  I'm trying to think which one to do.

• 28:14Bill Simmons?

  I'm sorry, my mind isn't on, what did he say? Sorry, my mind isn't on the protection of the film.

• 28:23Bill Simmons?

  Derek Lady, we talked about worst movie athletes and he was outraged that we forgot about Matt Damon in Legend of Bagger Vance. Which Damon's talked about. He had to speed learn how to play golf in like two weeks. And his swing is like really, really bad. But then we got a, a bigger email from Mike Montre. In 1998, I was an extra in the movie For Love of the Game.

• 28:45Chris Ryan?

  Ooh.

• 28:47Bill Simmons?

  We got five, fifty dollars a day. It was November in the Bronx. It was cold. Sam Raimi obviously wanted jackets off to display late summer baseball. Bronx natives grew tired of the request. Look closely, winter jackets are in the background. Nights grew long and cold. Extras grew impatient. And John C. Riley couldn't catch or throw. Couldn't throw the ball back to the pitcher at all. Costner was dealing. Riley was fucking up takes left and right. The extras had enough. It was cold. The jeers began. Escalated into, you fucking suck Riley. Riley had enough, flipped out, screaming at the extras, let me do my fucking job. Couldn't do the job. The next day, his lighting double replaced him in all catching scenes.

• 29:28Chris Ryan?

  Jesus.

• 29:29Bill Simmons?

  And he's like, how is that not your winner for worst actor as an athlete?

• 29:32Chris Ryan?

  I would love to know which actor who had to play sports in a movie required the most training to actually be, you know, somewhat believable on screen.

• 29:41Bill Simmons?

  One of my favorites for this is Rob Lowe didn't know how to skate before Young Bud.

• 29:45Chris Ryan?

  Really?

• 29:45Bill Simmons?

  And they did this five-week speed session with him and then he actually got like pretty good.

• 29:50Chris Ryan?

  That would be a great documentary. I would love to watch, like, Kevin Costner just has to go on the Haney Project before Tin Cup just to learn how to play golf.

• 29:57Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 29:57Chris Ryan?

  Like, I'm trying to think of what would be the thing, what would be the athletic act that you feel like you could immediately go do and like plausibly do it on film right now? I mean, I think golf is easy because it doesn't require any like physical. The problem with golf is that your swing always looks 20% more awkward and bad than you think it does.

• 30:18Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 30:18Chris Ryan?

  Because in your mind, you're like, boy, I'm Koepka. And like,

• 30:23Chris Ryan?

  and then you look at a video of yourself and you're like, I look like I'm playing left-handed. What is happening?

• 30:27Speaker 02

  I think I could throw a fastball in a movie, believably.

• 30:29Chris Ryan?

  I was gonna say, I think I could do Riley's job. I mean, it would be hard for me to get down in a squat for catching now, but I, I felt pretty natural being behind the plate.

• 30:38Speaker 02

  As a pitcher growing up, I think I could get away with it.

• 30:40Bill Simmons?

  You have to be pretty uncoordinated to not be able to just catch Kevin Costner for three hours.

• 30:47Chris Ryan?

  What about you? You don't think you could conduct an offense in like White Man Can't Jump, two-on-two?

• 30:52Bill Simmons?

  I

• 30:52Chris Ryan?

  You and Jacoby?

• 30:53Speaker 02

  Basketball's hard.

• 30:54Bill Simmons?

  Basketball's hard, basketball's hard because people, especially if you play, your shots are shot. So I always had a little bit of an unorthodox shot that would make it look like I didn't play, but I did play.

• 31:05Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 31:05Bill Simmons?

  So it's almost like you're better off learning from scratch. But Snipes is a good example of they, he was a good athlete that they taught to play basketball. You know, to mixed results. I was never a huge fan. Um, I think the toughest would be, for me, it would be tennis because I played tennis forever, but my serve's weird. So it would look like I've never played tennis before.

• 31:24Chris Ryan?

  You'd have to get a lighting double to do your serves.

• 31:26Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I never like bring it back.

• 31:29Chris Ryan?

  Tennis is a good one. Like, I would love to see the training that went into filming Challengers. Yes.

• 31:34Bill Simmons?

  I think an underrated one for this is a track and field movie.

• 31:38Chris Ryan?

  Because you have to see yourself running.

• 31:39Bill Simmons?

  Well, but to be like, if you're Steve Prefontaine. You have to have like, basically no part of your body is moving as you're running, but it has to seem like you're going fast. Which I, I think is really hard to do.

• 31:53Chris Ryan?

  If they keep doing like weird live stunt things on Netflix, they should have crud up Race Lido now. To see who was the faster Prefontaine.

• 32:02Bill Simmons?

  Dressed as, with Prefontaine wigs. This is a great one. It's from Charles. How do you and Kyle Brand sleep at night? Knowing you failed to choose the Storm family portrait as the piece of memorabilia you'd keep from Heart to Kill in 1990. It's seen early in the movie, right before Felicia Storm is brutally murdered during foreplay with Mason. And before their son Sonny escapes. See attached. As penance, please do an episode on Deadly Ground. So he sent a picture.

• 32:32Bill Simmons?

  And this is the Storm family photo. I didn't notice it. I apologize. I know Kyle apologizes as well. This is amazing. I can't believe they did this.

• 32:41Chris Ryan?

  I'll tell you what you guys should do.

• 32:42Bill Simmons?

  By the way, that's Sharon Stone, I think.

• 32:44Chris Ryan?

  To make up for this, you should get those made into t-shirts and wear them the next time you and Kyle record.

• 32:49Bill Simmons?

  I feel like Kyle is crazy enough and there's no football right now that he's going to show up on a rewatchables with the Storm family portrait on there.

• 32:57Chris Ryan?

  But you should do it for like a really serious movie for like Dear Honor.

• 33:01Bill Simmons?

  I'm wearing the Storm family.

• 33:04Bill Simmons?

  Thomas Levy says, how is this for a CR thinks Luke Wilson could have been Harrison Ford hottest take buckle up CR. Are we sure Daniel Day Lewis is in the acting version of James Harden?

• 33:15Chris Ryan?

  Come on.

• 33:16Bill Simmons?

  He's never appeared in a best picture film. He has zero appearances on any film listed in the AFI top hundred.

• 33:23Chris Ryan?

  What do you mean? Didn't Lincoln win best picture? Yeah. No, but it didn't. It did not.

• 33:30Bill Simmons?

  He's never been in a film that won best picture.

• 33:33Chris Ryan?

  That's actually the wrong way to criticize Daniel Day Lewis. Because, yes, like, first of all, he's unquestionably the best actor of his generation.

• 33:42Bill Simmons?

  Hey, listen, I'm just reading emails. I'm not saying I agree with it.

• 33:44Chris Ryan?

  I'm saying Daniel Day Lewis fucked up by never being like the bad guy in Con Air. Like, Daniel Day Lewis should have done one bad action movie where he's like Hans Gruber. That would have just been amazing.

• 33:57Bill Simmons?

  Or, or done his version of Lecter and Silence of the Lambs.

• 34:00Chris Ryan?

  Yes.

• 34:02Bill Simmons?

  Listen, this is-

• 34:03Chris Ryan?

  Like, did Daniel Day Lewis need his Training Day?

• 34:05Bill Simmons?

  Is there another podcast that would compare Daniel Day Lewis to James Harden? No.

• 34:10Chris Ryan?

  I'm just trying to imagine if Daniel Day Lewis today was like, I love Training Day. I'm gonna just remake it, but I'm Alonso.

• 34:19Bill Simmons?

  I love Taken. I liked what Liam Neeson did.

• 34:21Chris Ryan?

  Do you like to get wet?

• 34:25Bill Simmons?

  What basketball player is Daniel Day Lewis?

• 34:29Chris Ryan?

  Um.

• 34:31Bill Simmons?

  It's a tough one. It's somebody who won MVPs but was never on a title.

• 34:34Chris Ryan?

  And can transform themselves. Yeah, cuz it's, in some ways, it's like the only thing you do is win rings. So is it Robert Ori? You know what I mean?

• 34:41Bill Simmons?

  Is it Mike Trout?

• 34:43Chris Ryan?

  No.

• 34:44Bill Simmons?

  Just multiple MVPs but never, never won the World Series? I'm just saying by the, by the logic of this question of like, he was never in the best movie of a year.

• 34:53Chris Ryan?

  Steve Nash is good.

• 34:54Bill Simmons?

  Oh, Steve Nash is good, yeah.

• 34:55Chris Ryan?

  Steve Nash is good.

• 34:56Bill Simmons?

  Running the mid 2000s Suns offense.

• 35:00Bill Simmons?

  Or it's somebody who's like a chameleon as their career changed. I don't know. John Craig Howell said he just caught up to the Live and Die in L.A. episode. Says, uh, you talked about whether prison phones during visits are tapped and recorded. He said the answer is yes. I know this because my wife had an internship with a prosecutor's office during law school. It was signed to listen to some of them. They monitor, just in case the prisoners are dumb enough to discuss things they did, which they do. And a phrase she, she heard still is used by them today. H and L, because one of the prisoners told his visitor, oh, man, that's H and L. H and L, man, whole nother level, as in something has really escalated. So they always say H and L. Because of these prison things that they heard.

• 35:44Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 35:44Bill Simmons?

  So apparently they do record them.

• 35:46Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, that makes sense.

• 35:46Bill Simmons?

  I figured they did.

• 35:47Chris Ryan?

  I just didn't know if they recorded L.A. County Jail in 1985 or whatever, but yes.

• 35:52Bill Simmons?

  This is a great one from Justin in Los Angeles. What about the Sharon Stone fuck of the century word for excellence and craft? As Michael Douglas tells us in Basic Instinct. Catherine Schamel is an otherworldly lady, not an all-star or an NBA level, a singular sport-defining level talent. So what other deeply skilled movie characters are eligible? He suggests Danny Ocean as a generational thief and Machine as a world-class sadist. Multiple eight millimeter references. I really like this.

• 36:23Chris Ryan?

  Vincent Loria as a nine-ball and stalker player in Caller of Money.

• 36:27Bill Simmons?

  Oh, yeah.

• 36:28Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 36:28Bill Simmons?

  But what else do we have? I think it almost has to be more obscure, right?

• 36:35Chris Ryan?

  So this is like somebody who is overly competent at their specific job. Is this like Kaitel and Pulp? Like a folk hero, like level of like what they're good at. Kaitel and Pulp? Yeah.

• 36:49Bill Simmons?

  Oh, yeah, The Wolf. That's good.

• 36:50Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, that's good.

• 36:51Bill Simmons?

  I like that. I'm gonna keep an eye on this one. Sunny K. from Vancouver says, longtime fan, been rewatching Miami Vice on streaming.

• 36:59Chris Ryan?

  Us too.

• 37:00Bill Simmons?

  Why didn't the actor who played Tubbs become a bigger star or do anything after Vice? Good-looking guy? Not quite as charismatic as Don Johnson, but held his own in multiple episodes. What held him back?

• 37:12Chris Ryan?

  You probably know better than I would. What happened to Phil?

• 37:14Bill Simmons?

  I never understood it.

• 37:15Chris Ryan?

  He liked music more too, right?

• 37:18Bill Simmons?

  I thought he was total package, like handsome, funny.

• 37:21Chris Ryan?

  I thought he was the fuck of the century.

• 37:23Bill Simmons?

  Good action star. I don't really have an answer for this one. Maybe he was an asshole.

• 37:27Chris Ryan?

  We've both been rewatching season one, though.

• 37:31Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I was thinking about, do we do give, give the rewatchables audience a season one starter kit for episodes? Which I think is the two-part opening. Sadly, I can do this off the top of my head. The two-part opening, um, Cataron's Revenge, which we already did on rewatchables.

• 37:49Chris Ryan?

  Great McCarthy.

• 37:50Bill Simmons?

  Great McCarthy, definitely.

• 37:51Chris Ryan?

  Glades?

• 37:53Bill Simmons?

  I don't love Glades. You like Glades more than I do, but Glades does have people we've talked about on this pod. The Golden Triangle episode is amazing. Um, the Bruce Willis as a domestic violence arms dealer.

• 38:05Chris Ryan?

  Oh, wow.

• 38:06Bill Simmons?

  Couldn't recommend that. Oh, my God. Could not recommend that episode more highly. Evan, which is no longer available on streaming because they end the show with Bego by Peter Gabriel.

• 38:14Chris Ryan?

  Oh, right.

• 38:16Bill Simmons?

  Must have canceled that one. There's a great one, the last couple. Um, there's one when Crockett falls in love and it starts affecting his job and then Tubbs gets beaten up. And then I just watched Lombard recently, the last episode of season one, and it's Dennis Farina playing the midnight run. Got the guy, Sydney, have a cream soda, do some fucking thing. Um, basically playing this wisecracking gangster. And, uh, I texted Ciara about this already. During the episode, they play the entire song of Wire by U2, which is probably the single best U2 song of the eighties. And they're just cranking U2 during this chase scene. I'm like, this is the most 1985 moment of my life.

• 38:58Chris Ryan?

  Did you say Milk Run?

• 38:59Bill Simmons?

  Milk Run's another good one.

• 39:00Chris Ryan?

  And Smuggler's Blues.

• 39:01Bill Simmons?

  And Smuggler's Blues. Yeah, so that would be the starter kit. We might have to force Craig to watch all these this summer. You like all these 80s things, though.

• 39:09Speaker 02

  I do. I love the 80s.

• 39:10Chris Ryan?

  I also, Heart of Darkness, where Suzy Amis plays a young porn star in Miami and they break up an underground porn ring.

• 39:18Bill Simmons?

  Oh, that's, that's one of the early ones. Yeah. Everything leads to the third.

• 39:22Chris Ryan?

  That's before Almost.

• 39:23Bill Simmons?

  And then the third episode of season two, um, which is, ends with the Dire Straits song is the best one, I think, probably in the history.

• 39:30Speaker 02

  Should I start growing my hair out? I'm, I, should I do, should I give one shot at it?

• 39:33Chris Ryan?

  To do it, use it before you lose it, man. That's my attitude.

• 39:36Speaker 02

  I've thought about it, but there's such an awkward middle period, I feel like, before it starts to look good, that you have to go through.

• 39:40Chris Ryan?

  I don't know. I think Chalamet has paved the way for the mullet again, too.

• 39:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, but, you know, I'm not Timothy Chalamet.

• 39:47Bill Simmons?

  Steve W. wants us to basically do an on-screen smoking hall of fame as a special episode.

• 39:52Speaker 02

  That's good.

• 39:52Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 39:53Bill Simmons?

  And, uh, wants us to have a mailbag episode, best actor, best actress, for the Spiffy Girls, most passionate, worst, on-screen cigarette that felt the best, best film cigarette. Just do like 10 categories and go.

• 40:07Chris Ryan?

  You guys would know this better than us.

• 40:08Bill Simmons?

  I figured I could walk you into this.

• 40:09Chris Ryan?

  How is Marlboro never approached us?

• 40:12Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, as a comeback?

• 40:13Chris Ryan?

  You don't ever really, can we, like, why, of all the things that advertise on podcasts, like, would it be weird if we were like, look, I wouldn't do it now, but I used to do it then?

• 40:22Bill Simmons?

  We're not condoning it. We're appreciating it. He wants, uh, he says.

• 40:27Speaker 02

  Smoking problem? Call 1-800-MARLboro.

• 40:29Bill Simmons?

  He recommends, see our look up on YouTube, the compilation of match strikes from The Long Goodbye. He says Elliot Gold is the Michael Jordan of strike anyways.

• 40:38Speaker 02

  It would be, if we did this, you guys would have to smoke cigarettes during the taping.

• 40:41Bill Simmons?

  I mean, fine.

• 40:44Chris Ryan?

  You said you did or didn't have one in 2026?

• 40:48Bill Simmons?

  I had one.

• 40:48Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 40:49Bill Simmons?

  I've only had one.

• 40:49Chris Ryan?

  I had one two weekends ago.

• 40:51Bill Simmons?

  We're recording this before Memorial Day weekend and very strong possibility this weekend. This is an amazing one from James McElroy. Probably not the same James McElroy. The Sasha Jenkins Award gets me every time. That's for the award where we can't figure out why the actor didn't become a bigger star. And we've been doing this, what, for four years?

• 41:13Chris Ryan?

  Since days, yeah.

• 41:14Bill Simmons?

  His name is actually Sasha Jensen. You guys getting it wrong for so long really hits the point because he should have been bigger than he was. We've been saying the wrong name the entire time.

• 41:24Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 41:25Bill Simmons?

  I think we keep it. I think it's funnier that it's Sasha Jenkins.

• 41:28Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 41:28Bill Simmons?

  Or maybe call it the Sasha Jenkins Jensen Award. I don't know.

• 41:31Chris Ryan?

  Do you think Sasha Jensen is just like, god damn it, guys?

• 41:34Bill Simmons?

  It's like, you can't even get my fucking name right. Yeah, so this whole time we've had the wrong name. Adam from Westport says, "Thank you for so prominently featuring Crisp's ponytail in the Kindergarten Cop episode. I saw it when I was six. I spent the remainder of my childhood completely terrified of any man with a ponytail. Do you think Kindergarten Cop was directly responsible for the sharp drop in popularity of long hair for men in the 1990s?"

• 42:02Chris Ryan?

  I have no idea.

• 42:03Bill Simmons?

  I'm gonna say no because of grunge. I feel like long hair actually became a thing, but I do think ponytails went away in the 90s and that might have been a reason.

• 42:12Chris Ryan?

  I also remember the ponytail from the guy in Good Will Hunting being like, you don't want a ponytail.

• 42:19Speaker 02

  Yeah. Segal ponytail for a long time, right?

• 42:22Chris Ryan?

  Sure.

• 42:22Bill Simmons?

  He also made a help kill it.

• 42:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:24Bill Simmons?

  Because people hate Segal. Avi from Staten Island says, "I have my own hat of steak. We're all very well aware of Bill's correct views on the Kaye Diane Keaton character in The Godfather."

• 42:33Chris Ryan?

  Avi from Staten Island wrote that, huh?

• 42:36Bill Simmons?

  Just read it in the email.

• 42:36Chris Ryan?

  Not Bill from Los Angeles?

• 42:38Bill Simmons?

  I would never make up a mailbag. Well, the argument was always Diane Keaton, great actress. Kaye Adams, bad character. Poorly written.

• 42:46Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 42:46Bill Simmons?

  I stand by it for the rest of my life.

• 42:48Chris Ryan?

  Kaye Adams was...

• 42:49Speaker 02

  I was just about to say, is that her maiden name?

• 42:51Bill Simmons?

  Kaye Adams, Carol Leon.

• 42:52Chris Ryan?

  Oh.

• 42:52Bill Simmons?

  That's...

• 42:53Chris Ryan?

  I did not know that, yeah.

• 42:54Bill Simmons?

  That's, we've talked about this. That's where Kaye Adams, I think, got her name because her name's not actually Kaye Adams.

• 42:58Speaker 02

  The sports... She named herself after Michael Corleone's wife?

• 43:02Bill Simmons?

  Kaye Adams isn't her real name.

• 43:04Speaker 02

  And you think she watched The Godfather?

• 43:05Bill Simmons?

  I don't know. Maybe she liked Kaye Adams.

• 43:08Speaker 02

  I didn't know any of this.

• 43:10Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 43:10Speaker 02

  Holy shit!

• 43:12Bill Simmons?

  So Avi says, I'd like to take, I'd like to go one step further and suggest Michael should have had Kay killed for aborting his son. Michael had his own brother killed for being stupid and putting his family's lives in danger. No one was harmed. Kay, who in his own eyes actually murdered his own son, should have at least been sentenced to what happened to Fredo. That takes too hot even for Craig. It is interesting though that he kills Fredo, but with the, with the mom of his kids, that was like a bridge too far for him.

• 43:44Speaker 02

  Yeah. Fredo betrayed the family.

• 43:47Bill Simmons?

  Fredo was so weak. Look at you, look at him.

• 43:51Speaker 02

  Should we all have stage names? I just get down like dang, what should our names have been?

• 43:57Bill Simmons?

  You could have started when you became a-

• 43:58Speaker 02

  I should have just been Michael Corleone. Yeah, Craig Corleone. Yeah, that plays.

• 44:02Bill Simmons?

  Could have been Craig Beck. Just gotten rid of the Horl.

• 44:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know. The Horl's not great.

• 44:06Bill Simmons?

  I like the Horl. The Horl works for you now, though.

• 44:09Speaker 02

  I guess, for those who can pronounce it.

• 44:12Bill Simmons?

  Matt Larkin, another Dionne Waiters question. He thinks the all time Dionne Waiters performance is Alec Baldwin and Glengarry. Think about it. With no warning, breezes in partway through the movie for a single scene, delivers all his lines in an epic monologue, absolutely cooks, and dresses down a room of legends. It's a pinch hit grand slam.

• 44:31Speaker 02

  Shits all over Jack Lemmon.

• 44:33Bill Simmons?

  It's pretty good. The one scene Dionne Waiters is like a special category.

• 44:37Speaker 02

  It's also like, that one is specifically Mamet writing it for Baldwin is, is pretty nuts.

• 44:42Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 44:42Speaker 02

  Baldwin's whole career is kind of Dionne Waiters. Everything he's in, he's, I mean, 30 Rock, he is amazing. And it's, I feel like it hasn't really lived on in a way that other huge show characters have.

• 44:52Bill Simmons?

  People decided they didn't like Alec Baldwin.

• 44:53Speaker 02

  No, 30 Rock still goes.

• 44:55Bill Simmons?

  I think people have turned on Alec Baldwin a little bit.

• 44:57Speaker 02

  He is amazing in 30 Rock. It's like an all time character.

• 45:01Bill Simmons?

  If he, if he does the Gene Hackman and just leaves in 2012 and we never see him again, we're talking about him reverentially.

• 45:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, but he's nowhere, I mean, like, I think that there are other reasons why people turned on Alec Baldwin.

• 45:10Bill Simmons?

  That's what I'm saying.

• 45:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:13Bill Simmons?

  Hans says, thanks for all the laughs. Huge fan of the show, has a new idea for a flex category. It's the Sharon Stone Going Going Gone Award. The point in a movie where it actually goes from something you believe could happen to suspending all belief and then just sitting back and enjoying the ride. An example, Die Hard, when John McClane jumps off the exploding roof of the fire hose.

• 45:35Chris Ryan?

  Yes.

• 45:35Bill Simmons?

  Loosely tied to his midsection, you're like, alright, I'm just gonna ride with this.

• 45:38Chris Ryan?

  So this is a variation on the Dan Campbell Award then?

• 45:42Speaker 02

  The tank showing up in Animal House.

• 45:43Bill Simmons?

  I think this is more, so the reason he came up with this in honor of Sharon Stone, because she was on my podcast once and told me in an interview that she hit a homerun in Dodger Stadium. To his credit, billed an impresser, he just sat back and enjoyed the fact he was interviewing Sharon fucking Stone. She did say this.

• 45:59Chris Ryan?

  Do you remember her saying that?

• 46:01Bill Simmons?

  Now, after I got the email, I did. I didn't challenge it.

• 46:05Chris Ryan?

  You didn't challenge her when she was like, I hit a homerun at a Major League Baseball stadium?

• 46:09Bill Simmons?

  Apparently not.

• 46:11Chris Ryan?

  I guess I wouldn't either.

• 46:11Speaker 02

  No, that's a smart play. Business decision.

• 46:15Bill Simmons?

  But I like the Sharon Stone Going Going Gone Award.

• 46:17Chris Ryan?

  That would've been great if you were like, was it the swing of the century?

• 46:25Bill Simmons?

  Pat S. wants us to do the Robert Duvall Lieutenant Colonel Kilgore Surf Session Award for the character who loves their hobby so much, they do it in the most unusual circumstances possible. And he suggests the lead bad guy in Die Hard 2 doing naked tai chi.

• 46:41Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 46:42Bill Simmons?

  And then Finch practicing putting in American Pie, and Apollo Creed's coach playing chess, and Roller Girl keeping her roller skates on. I don't know, I appreciate the theory. Alright, couple more here, quick. Travis. This is really good. Vincent Hanna brings Portman's character to the ER, drops her off in a gurney, and just starts ordering everyone around. I need a trauma surgeon, vascular surgeon! She cut the main artery around. Why did nobody tell him to shut the fuck up and get to the waiting room? Like what happens to everybody else that goes to New York.

• 47:15Chris Ryan?

  Well, because he's a cop.

• 47:17Bill Simmons?

  Okay.

• 47:19Bill Simmons?

  Luke Skywalker attends the pre-flight meeting before the Death Star one, then starts talking about the size of rats on the home planet. Why did nobody turn around and ask him? Excuse me, who the fuck are you? This is a rebel alliance. Uh, there is something here.

• 47:32Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 47:33Bill Simmons?

  The Vincent Hanna walking into an ER room of irrational confidence. I don't know. Last email from Jeff K. from New Jersey. Love the pod. I've listened to just about every episode since the beginning and my buddy and I came to see you do the Creed live show in Philly. Yesterday I attended my daughter's elementary school production of Charlotte's Web. It was as boring as you can imagine. My daughter a small part. My mind began to wander. After a few minutes, I began thinking about what rewatchable awards I would give to the kids in the play.

• 48:04Speaker 02

  Oh shit.

• 48:05Bill Simmons?

  And who won the movie to different kids? And it got me thinking, have you ever replied, applied rewatchables categories to other aspects of your life? Like when I gave the Dionne Waters award to one of the kids regardless. Thanks for helping me get through it. It is interesting, the concept of just applying the rewatchables to other parts of your life, like at a party, like you just went to a wedding at Hyffitz.

• 48:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, right.

• 48:27Bill Simmons?

  Who won the Dionne Waters award at Hyffitz's wedding?

• 48:29Speaker 02

  There was a guy who hit like this really awesome dance, right? As Jump Around came on.

• 48:34Bill Simmons?

  Really?

• 48:35Speaker 02

  And I'll never forget it.

• 48:36Bill Simmons?

  What was Hyffitz's playlist like? Mostly classics or more new stuff or what was it?

• 48:40Speaker 02

  Uh, it was a DJ. DJ who did a lot of blending. So you could go from ABBA to Jump Around to Shout.

• 48:47Bill Simmons?

  Ah.

• 48:48Speaker 02

  It was all over, it was good.

• 48:49Bill Simmons?

  Who was the champion of, of the shout dancing at his wedding? Anybody we would know?

• 48:54Speaker 02

  Nobody you would know, but Hyffitz, Hyffitz does a good job. Hyffitz has, um, like water people around the wedding where every like half hour, he has people come and bring him water just to check in and make sure he's staying, he's staying level.

• 49:08Bill Simmons?

  He had hydration experts?

• 49:09Speaker 02

  Yes, he has hydration assistants that are always like, it's been a half an hour. I'm going to make sure Hyffitz has a water.

• 49:15Bill Simmons?

  Wow, that's really smart.

• 49:16Chris Ryan?

  Yeah. Uh, my wife and I recently were going through all the trips we had done since we had moved to LA. And I, I realized I was doing what stage the best, what stage the worst with them. You know, like where I was just like, actually that, like that experience was great or that restaurant was great or it was amazing when the cat sat next to us in Croatia, but then like that, that was actually Dubrovnik sucked or whatever, like it was, it was fun.

• 49:42Bill Simmons?

  Do you wish you would kept more notes of things that happened to you and over the years? So you could remember the details better?

• 49:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:48Chris Ryan?

  Journaling essentially? I, I tried, I try it every once in a while and I find that like my journal entries are just too boring. They're just like. Went to work, did a podcast, came home, watched a movie. Like, you know, it's just, it's just not like when you read journals of people who are like fighting in this Spanish Civil War.

• 50:07Speaker 02

  You could do, you could do the rewatchables categories for the first 10 years of The Ringer.

• 50:12Speaker 02

  Who's the Dionne Waiters?

• 50:12Bill Simmons?

  That's interesting. We are heading up on the.

• 50:14Speaker 02

  It's probably just, was it June 1st?

• 50:18Speaker 02

  We just passed.

• 50:18Bill Simmons?

  Was that when it was?

• 50:19Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 50:21Bill Simmons?

  My biggest memory of the first actual day of The Ringer is, um, did Mallory break Sean's shoulder or vice versa?

• 50:28Chris Ryan?

  Somebody hugged Mal.

• 50:28Bill Simmons?

  Mallory hugged Sean and knocked her shoulder out of socket?

• 50:31Chris Ryan?

  No, it was, I think someone hugged Mal and she like cracked a rib or like something with her shoulder or her rib. Yeah.

• 50:37Bill Simmons?

  I think it was her fault though. She was over hugging somebody and cracked her own rib somehow.

• 50:41Speaker 02

  Jesus.

• 50:42Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 50:43Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 50:43Bill Simmons?

  That was at a big bar celebrating the first day of The Ringer. She's like, oh. Yeah, that was good. The other thing I remember.

• 50:49Chris Ryan?

  And then I think Muhammad Ali died.

• 50:52Bill Simmons?

  Oh yeah, right around then. The other thing I remember. Maybe it was the next year. We were at the 4th of July thing and there was some, somebody got traded or free agency or something and we all had to start working at the July 4th thing.

• 51:05Speaker 02

  There was a July 4th.

• 51:05Speaker 02

  What's like the biggest news bomb in Ringer history?

• 51:08Bill Simmons?

  The Kyrie Irving trade.

• 51:09Chris Ryan?

  I think, well, the, the first, what I have like a clear, clear memory of is Prince, Bowie and Muhammad Ali all dying like kind of in a cluster around each other. But I could be getting that wrong. But I remember that being like, I think Muhammad Ali news broke at like midnight.

• 51:26Bill Simmons?

  I thought it was the Kyrie Irving. It's not that that was a massive trade.

• 51:28Speaker 02

  We were actually prepared to handle that.

• 51:30Bill Simmons?

  We were all together and then the Kyrie Irving trade happened and we were just like.

• 51:33Speaker 02

  A month after The Ringer started, Durant signed with the Warriors, I think. July 2026, July 2016.

• 51:40Bill Simmons?

  Yep. That was a big one. The, the Anthony Davis, that happened on a, was it the Kawhi thing happened on a Friday night? Remember we were waiting for it all week?

• 51:49Chris Ryan?

  That was the, uh, that was the earthquake.

• 51:52Bill Simmons?

  And it was the same day as the earthquake? That was a good one.

• 51:54Speaker 02

  Even Luca was a Saturday night, I think, or Friday night.

• 51:57Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, it was at Long Legs.

• 51:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:00Chris Ryan?

  Got out and it was like, holy shit.

• 52:01Bill Simmons?

  Is that true? You had to phone off?

• 52:04Chris Ryan?

  I was just in the movie theater and when I walked out, it was like Luca got traded. No, wait, Long Legs was when Trump got shot. Luca, Luca was, I can't remember what happened, why I was in a movie.

• 52:14Speaker 02

  It was like January, February.

• 52:16Chris Ryan?

  I was seeing the movie Companion and when I came out, Luca had been traded.

• 52:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:20Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. When we started The Ringer. I don't think the Pats had won the Super Bowl that year, but it was still, the Patriots were in control of football. The Warriors were winning 73, but then lost the finals to LeBron.

• 52:33Speaker 02

  2016 is one of the craziest years in sports of 21st century.

• 52:35Bill Simmons?

  The Cubs, the Cubs had the World Series that year.

• 52:37Speaker 02

  The 18 inning game or whatever.

• 52:39Bill Simmons?

  The two biggest musicians we had were Adele and Kanye.

• 52:42Chris Ryan?

  The summer, that TV summer was Thrones, but I also think Stranger Things premiered that summer.

• 52:48Bill Simmons?

  Stranger Things premiered.

• 52:49Speaker 02

  It was the 20, it was the 283 comeback was 2016 season. I think it was 2017 when the Super Bowl was played, but that was the 2016 season.

• 52:57Bill Simmons?

  Honestly, we won so many Super Bowls, I can't remember the years.

• 53:00Speaker 02

  UNC Villanova was the national champion that, that year with like the back to back buzzer beater.

• 53:03Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 53:04Chris Ryan?

  Oh, the Jay Wright, the, what did he say, bang? Or he didn't say anything. He just, he just, he just like walked, walked it off, right?

• 53:11Bill Simmons?

  And then Sal and I lost our parlay of Hillary Clinton to win the presidency with the Pats to win the AFC.

• 53:17Chris Ryan?

  Oh, I remember that bet.

• 53:18Bill Simmons?

  Huge bet. And the Pats were, the Pats in late October had like a six game lead.

• 53:24Speaker 02

  What were Hillary's odds?

• 53:26Bill Simmons?

  Hillary, even two days before, we could have hedged with Trump at plus 500 and we decided not to and ride it out. So that was a tough loss. But, and then we lost on the Warriors was the other one, 2016. We had them, we could have hedged after game four. Draymond got suspended. Really was like.

• 53:44Speaker 02

  It was a crazy year in sports.

• 53:45Chris Ryan?

  That's a 73, three game season, right?

• 53:46Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 53:47Speaker 02

  Unfortunately.

• 53:48Bill Simmons?

  That's one of the craziest years of my lifetime, just in general, just things happening. In the middle of a, we launched a ringer.

• 53:53Speaker 02

  I think that was Lester won?

• 53:56Chris Ryan?

  Oh shit.

• 53:57Speaker 02

  It was the craziest year of the 21st century in sports.

• 53:59Bill Simmons?

  Also, I had a show that was on HBO every week and then got canceled. That happened in 2016.

• 54:04Chris Ryan?

  And you, you, that's when you like couldn't see for three weeks, remember? Your contact thing?

• 54:09Bill Simmons?

  Was, was longer than that.

• 54:11Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 54:11Bill Simmons?

  Do you know that story?

• 54:12Speaker 02

  No.

• 54:13Bill Simmons?

  Um, I couldn't, I couldn't see. And I thought it was stress from The Ringer and my HBO show.

• 54:19Speaker 02

  Like, everything was blurry?

• 54:20Bill Simmons?

  Like, we would have the teleprompter and I couldn't see it. And I was like, and I was getting these huge headaches and I thought I had like a brain tumor. And I actually did have skin cancer, which was a separate thing that I had to remove from my forehead. But, um, I couldn't see and it turned out when you hit your mid 40s, your eyesight can shift sometimes if you have bad eyesight and get better.

• 54:40Speaker 02

  Yeah. Oh, whoa.

• 54:41Bill Simmons?

  So my contacts, which were like minus 11s, my prescription went down to like minus nine and a half.

• 54:46Speaker 02

  Wow, it improves?

• 54:47Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 54:48Speaker 02

  That's crazy.

• 54:48Bill Simmons?

  So I was constantly like doing this and I couldn't, I couldn't see in focus. And I was like, I'm fucking dying. Would it? And that happened to me as I'm trying to do The Ringer and the HBO show. And I thought I was having like a mental breakdown.

• 55:01Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 55:01Bill Simmons?

  And it was just my contacts were too strong. So a little cautionary tale out there for everybody.

• 55:06Speaker 02

  Just get your eyes checked.

• 55:07Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 55:07Speaker 02

  If you have an HBO show, make sure your eyes are checked.

• 55:09Bill Simmons?

  Well, I went to the doctor and he's like, oh yeah, this happens to everybody in their mid 40s. It's like, well, nobody fucking told me that. That my contacts would go from minus 11.

• 55:18Chris Ryan?

  Not yet. Mine, I think it's getting worse.

• 55:22Bill Simmons?

  Your eyesight's getting worse?

• 55:23Chris Ryan?

  I will, I think also it's been 10 years of like kind of looking at my phone like this. And now it's like my, my, I need like, I mean, I have readers, but I need progressive lenses and stuff, so.

• 55:35Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I've just, I won't wear reading glasses, so I just can't see. Even if you could see in the, when I'm doing the mailbag, I'm like, I've just learned how to live with it. That's what we do in the rewatch.

• 55:45Speaker 02

  We just, we just string it together. That's why it's been Sasha Jenkins. That's why you're like Tim Masterson.

• 55:52Bill Simmons?

  Sasha Jensen must be so fucking mad at us, just doing Sasha Jenkins over and over again. All right. Thanks, Ciara. Thanks, Greg. Thanks, Gah.