A CR Month Mailbag!

Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Craig Horlbeck open up the Rewatchables mailbag and read some listener emails on everything from worst possible movies to see on a date to The Rewatchables Pantheon Pyramid to the worst actor athletic performances of all time. Producers: Craig Horlbeck, Chia Hao Tat, Eduardo Ocampo, Matt Pevic Find what you're looking for. https://www.amazon.com/firetv/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Bill Simmons?

  This episode is brought to by Ethos. As a parent, life insurance feels like a no brainer. It just gives me peace of mind knowing my family will be taken care of. And Ethos makes getting it fast and easy. Apply online in minutes. Get up to 3 million in coverage with no medical exam, just a few simple health questions. Take 10 minutes to get covered today with life insurance through Ethos. Get your free quote at ethos.com/rewatch. That is E T H O S dot com slash rewatch. Application times may vary, rates may vary.

• 0:39Bill Simmons?

  This special episode of the Rewatchables brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network, where you can find the Ringer Fantasy Football Show with Craig Holbeck.

• 0:46Speaker 01

  Now the Ringer NFL Draft Show.

• 0:48Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, you guys switch. It's like, uh, it's like how Kenny Gainwell, used to be Kenneth Gainwell.

• 0:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's right.

• 0:53Bill Simmons?

  Switch names every once in a while.

• 0:54Speaker 01

  The only podcast in the world that changes its name halfway through the year.

• 0:57Bill Simmons?

  Chris Ryan, CR.

• 0:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:59Bill Simmons?

  We're in the middle of CR month. What's it been like for you? Just like, uh.

• 1:03Speaker 01

  It's like attending my own funeral. You know what I mean?

• 1:08Bill Simmons?

  Just people celebrating.

• 1:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's really nice. It's really cool.

• 1:11Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I'm really happy for you guys.

• 1:12Speaker 01

  Thanks, man.

• 1:13Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. And I mean, you guys like CR.

• 1:15Speaker 01

  You built this up.

• 1:16Bill Simmons?

  And the CR Army. I'm happy for all of you. We have a special episode that we're gonna do right after. It's a little opening. This episode of the Rewatchables is presented by TikTok. The online world moves fast. That's why TikTok approaches teen safety with families in mind. From the start on TikTok, teens get over 50 built in protections right when they join. Their accounts are private by default. For those under 16, direct messages are turned off. Only friends can comment on their videos. When safety comes first, discovery can follow. Learn more at tiktok.com/guardiansguide.

• 2:12Bill Simmons?

  Mailbag, CR month edition. We've only been doing the mailbags once a year and we decided that's it's gotta be quarterly from now on. We get too many emails. Craig, your only note was don't have too many category questions.

• 2:26Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 2:26Bill Simmons?

  Or suggestions.

• 2:27Chris Ryan?

  You know, we got theme months. There's a lot of other fun stuff to talk about. I want to ask CR questions while it's CR month.

• 2:32Bill Simmons?

  Oh.

• 2:33Chris Ryan?

  I want to know what your number 16 limitless is.

• 2:35Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, that was on the list. What's your version of number 16 limitless?

• 2:38Chris Ryan?

  Um, does it have to be from the 21st century?

• 2:41Bill Simmons?

  Sure.

• 2:42Chris Ryan?

  It's a really good, can I get, can I think about it for a minute or two?

• 2:45Bill Simmons?

  You want to marinate on it?

• 2:46Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 2:46Bill Simmons?

  Okay.

• 2:46Chris Ryan?

  Let me think about it.

• 2:47Bill Simmons?

  Okay.

• 2:48Chris Ryan?

  Oh, I know what it is. We've already done it, but obscenely high movie that would, that I've actually watched a lot of times this century would be Margin Call, which you guys have done. But Margin Call, I think, gets, would beat out a couple of movies that you'd be like, damn, you put Margin Call ahead of that.

• 3:06Bill Simmons?

  You know what my version of number 16 limitless is? Limitless.

• 3:11Chris Ryan?

  Yours is Nomadland.

• 3:12Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, what's yours, Craig?

• 3:13Chris Ryan?

  Uh.

• 3:14Bill Simmons?

  Probably some sort of 80's, some 00's comedy.

• 3:17Chris Ryan?

  Probably Accepted with Justin Long. It's a great movie. Not a bad movie.

• 3:20Bill Simmons?

  Interesting.

• 3:21Chris Ryan?

  Do you prefer that to Waiting with Justin Long?

• 3:24Speaker 01

  I've never seen Waiting.

• 3:25Chris Ryan?

  Oh. Early Ryan Reynolds.

• 3:27Speaker 01

  Fever Pitch, a movie I loved growing up that you despise.

• 3:29Bill Simmons?

  Oh, that movie's awful. You didn't know any better. You grew up on the West Coast.

• 3:33Speaker 01

  If it were about the Cubs though, would you like it?

• 3:35Bill Simmons?

  No, I wouldn't like that movie under any circumstances. I just didn't like it.

• 3:39Chris Ryan?

  Okay. I mean, but if it was about the Cubs, would, why, like, it was Boston. It bothered you, wasn't it?

• 3:44Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, it was this friend group.

• 3:46Speaker 01

  They chased the 2004 ring and it felt inauthentic. Fallon's not even a Boston fan.

• 3:50Bill Simmons?

  She jumps off the centerfield wall at the end.

• 3:52Chris Ryan?

  Great scene.

• 3:53Bill Simmons?

  Which by the way, you'd break at least one ankle and then runs across and they have a whole.

• 3:58Chris Ryan?

  In that scene.

• 3:59Bill Simmons?

  They have a whole rom-com moment. She's just on the field for five minutes. Nobody's like, we gotta get this. Yeah, no, it's, it's one of the dumbest movies ever.

• 4:07Chris Ryan?

  Um, Family Park notoriously buttoned up security as we saw in the town.

• 4:11Bill Simmons?

  That's right.

• 4:14Bill Simmons?

  Justin Long, by the way, had a moment there for like four years.

• 4:17Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 4:18Bill Simmons?

  Die Hard, whatever sequel that was.

• 4:20Chris Ryan?

  Uh, that was the hacker one, I think.

• 4:21Bill Simmons?

  Excepted the movie when him and Drew Barrymore dated but didn't live in the same place. It was like a long distance romance movie. It's not, not terrible.

• 4:30Chris Ryan?

  Mm-hmm.

• 4:31Bill Simmons?

  My wife's definitely gotten in the car.

• 4:33Chris Ryan?

  He made a little comeback with Barbarian.

• 4:35Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 4:35Chris Ryan?

  Yeah. Good scene in Weapons. Good, good Justin Long cameo in Weapons.

• 4:38Bill Simmons?

  I don't mind Justin Long. Okay, these are all actual emails from actual listeners. They emailed us at [email protected]. As a longtime Rewatchables listener, this is from Michael D. I have noticed that CR inevitably gets very wound up with about 40 minutes left in the pod. This happens regardless of how long the pod is and always before the last run of categories. Can you shed some insight on what makes CR act up like a wound up kid or mid 90s corn Julio? Is it low blood sugar, too much sugar, nicotine withdrawal, lack of sleep, or something else? Keep up the great work.

• 5:14Chris Ryan?

  It probably comes right after you do like a minute long Zane Lowe impression.

• 5:17Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I think it's excitement for the Wayne Jenkins category.

• 5:20Chris Ryan?

  Building up to Zane. It, I actually think that in most of my pods, the inverse is the problem is that I have like an internal game clock. And at 51 minutes, I'm like.

• 5:30Bill Simmons?

  You die out?

• 5:31Chris Ryan?

  I've checked out. Yeah. Yes.

• 5:33Bill Simmons?

  So I'm trying to think of what.

• 5:34Chris Ryan?

  So you're load managing a little bit. Is with the Rewatchables, because it goes longer. I know it's two hours. So there's usually like, but he's, he's saying that I freak out like 50 minutes in.

• 5:43Bill Simmons?

  He's saying, he seemed like you're storing energy with, because you know this big moment's coming.

• 5:47Chris Ryan?

  You should have a sub, like Van's just sitting off and you call him in for 10 minutes. Let's see our rest.

• 5:52Bill Simmons?

  See, I'll get some water, take a pee. Yeah, could we have people come off the bench for like three categories?

• 5:59Chris Ryan?

  What if like, we just did a run of Rewatchables and I was in a shot, like wearing a sweat suit, like hanging out, but never was on the pod. And it was like, we're just load managing, Chris. You know what?

• 6:12Bill Simmons?

  It was like that, uh, ooh wee, what's up with that? The Kenan Thompson sketch where Bill Hader never actually got to talk as Lindsey Buckingham.

• 6:20Chris Ryan?

  Ah, Sean, I didn't like that take. Mahoney, come on in. Yeah, I think that there's, there's parts of the pod that I know I'm gonna have to dial it up for and, and, and so I probably get, get excited for that.

• 6:32Bill Simmons?

  I find that I'm at my best when we're about 90 minutes in and I'm getting a little groggy and, and the self-edit button's kinda gone away at that point.

• 6:41Chris Ryan?

  Well, that, and that also coincides with picking nits.

• 6:43Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 6:43Chris Ryan?

  And that's when you really shine.

• 6:45Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 6:45Speaker 01

  I also think day of, day of the week is a huge factor. Friday afternoons is, is the best rewatchable.

• 6:50Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, Friday fun day.

• 6:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:51Bill Simmons?

  Uh, okay. This is from Stephen B. in Perth, Australia. Australians love the rewatchables.

• 6:58Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, down under.

• 6:59Bill Simmons?

  We love Australia. I always feel like Australia and Boston were like half brothers.

• 7:02Chris Ryan?

  We got invited to go to Australia by like a Chamber of Commerce down there.

• 7:05Bill Simmons?

  Fun place, little bit of an attitude, little like fuck you energy. I really respond to it.

• 7:10Speaker 01

  Would you do a live rewatchables in Australia?

• 7:12Bill Simmons?

  I mean, we'd have to do like two if we're gonna fly all the way down there.

• 7:15Speaker 01

  Rams Niners?

• 7:19Bill Simmons?

  We'd have to have a couple of events. It'd be funny if we just flew all the way down from what?

• 7:23Speaker 01

  Just did one gig.

• 7:24Bill Simmons?

  We just like did a Denzel movie. Equalizer 2. Alright, guys, see ya.

• 7:28Speaker 01

  Showed up at a bar, like was just like, hey, you guys want to hear us talk about eating?

• 7:31Bill Simmons?

  Um, okay. This is from, uh, Stephen. He said, for a flex category, this is, uh, recently, the, when you'd mentioned the anti-Apex Award.

• 7:41Chris Ryan?

  Yes.

• 7:43Bill Simmons?

  And you nominated Tina Turner because of her all-time stinker of a theme song for Golden Eye.

• 7:49Chris Ryan?

  Yep.

• 7:50Bill Simmons?

  She's a golden eye.

• 7:53Speaker 01

  So it's, it's the rock bottom award?

• 7:55Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, so, he said, um, he said, it's rare because the lowest point in someone's career, there's a fair chance the movie is ordinary to bad and not rewatchables worthy. So he had some examples. Travolta in Look Who's Talking. My, I would say perfect for Travolta. Mike Myers in Love Guru. Brando for Iona Dr. Moreau. Cliffhanger as anti-Apex for a rock climbing date. I thought that was good.

• 8:20Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 8:20Bill Simmons?

  Boogie Nights, uh, anti-Apex New Year's Eve party. He kept going. But uh, but it did make me think like, for the OGs that we have, which are Cruise, De Niro, Pacino, Denzel, and Sly.

• 8:35Chris Ryan?

  Mm-hmm.

• 8:36Bill Simmons?

  I think the five rewatchables, Mount Rushmore guys, even though it's five. What were the anti apexes for them?

• 8:42Chris Ryan?

  Do we have to pick movies that we have done rewatchables for?

• 8:45Bill Simmons?

  No, I would say no rewatchables, because we wouldn't do these, although we did. So Cruise, I think it's Oprah's Sofa and War of the Worlds, even though I like War of the Worlds.

• 8:54Chris Ryan?

  Oh, in their careers.

• 8:55Speaker 01

  So this is when they had the least juice in their career, or just the worst movie they've done?

• 8:59Bill Simmons?

  Reverse Apex Mountain.

• 9:00Chris Ryan?

  Yeah. Cruise in the-

• 9:02Bill Simmons?

  It's nadir mountain.

• 9:03Chris Ryan?

  It's what Cruise was doing as he was trying to revamp Mission Impossible with Macquarie, and then still making kind of like Oblivion, Edge of Tomorrow's good.

• 9:11Bill Simmons?

  But don't you feel like Oprah's Sofa has to be involved in this?

• 9:14Chris Ryan?

  Uh, yeah, I guess it's like-

• 9:15Bill Simmons?

  That was when people were kind of like, wait, is Cruise nuts?

• 9:18Chris Ryan?

  And then Spielberg stops working with him then?

• 9:20Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I think it's right around there for him. For De Niro, it's a little tougher to find, figure out De Niro. I went through his IMDb. In 2000, he had this great 70s run, 80s, up and down, and then rallies back, midnight run. Then 90s, he's killing it, he's making a million movies. But then in 2000, he just started taking paychecks.

• 9:38Chris Ryan?

  Mm-hmm.

• 9:39Bill Simmons?

  And he did Rocky and Bullwinkle. And I think that's nadir mountain for him.

• 9:43Speaker 01

  There's, I feel like, and then in the 2010s, he kind of starts flirting with like the Dirty Grandpa era, where he's just doing really cheesy comedies.

• 9:51Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, he's just available. It, it, right around 99, 2000, him and Pacino, I think, were available.

• 9:56Chris Ryan?

  I would, I dare say that, for some reason, the name is escaping me, but the gangster movie he made for Barry Levinson last year that was apparently-

• 10:03Speaker 01

  Alto Nights.

• 10:04Chris Ryan?

  That was, that's my-

• 10:06Speaker 01

  Dirty Grandpa is a movie with Robert De Niro and Zac Efron as the two leads. I mean, come on.

• 10:11Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 10:12Speaker 01

  2016.

• 10:13Bill Simmons?

  Pacino, it's definitely author, author. That was in the early 80s, it bombed. And it got people going, wait, I thought Pacino was the best actor we had.

• 10:21Chris Ryan?

  And he takes like five years off after that, right?

• 10:23Bill Simmons?

  And it starts going sideways. Denzel was the toughest one. Because even if you look at the IMDb stuff for Denzel, he doesn't really have a stinker, so I'd have to go with Virtuosity, a movie that I love.

• 10:35Chris Ryan?

  Me too.

• 10:36Bill Simmons?

  That we probably will do on rewatchables. But he is given VD by John Lithgow, and people didn't really like that movie. And they're like, Denzel, what are you doing?

• 10:43Chris Ryan?

  Is that Ricochet or Virtuosity?

• 10:45Bill Simmons?

  Virtua- oh, maybe that's Ricochet.

• 10:47Chris Ryan?

  Ricochet is like an absolute oozing sore of a movie that I love. Like Ricochet is insane.

• 10:54Bill Simmons?

  Ricochet is the one with Lithgow or? So Virtuosity is the one with Russell Crowe?

• 10:59Chris Ryan?

  Yes.

• 10:59Bill Simmons?

  That's the one?

• 11:00Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 11:01Bill Simmons?

  I got my Denzels mixed up. But I don't, I, I personally don't think Denzel has a nadir now.

• 11:05Chris Ryan?

  What about Out of Time Déjà Vu?

• 11:06Bill Simmons?

  I mean, I revere Out of Time.

• 11:08Chris Ryan?

  There you go.

• 11:08Bill Simmons?

  Can't do it. So I don't know, maybe he just never had a nadir.

• 11:12Chris Ryan?

  Well, cause didn't you say he's one of the only guys who has a hit in every decade for four decades?

• 11:16Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, and he really doesn't have stinkers. It's not like, like Sly Stallone is the other one. Sly, you could pick multiple nadirs, but it's probably Stop or My Mom Will Shoot. It's like early nineties, he does Stop My Mom Will Shoot, an Oscar, back to back. The point is, we would never do these on the rewatch.

• 11:31Chris Ryan?

  I think you would get to like the end of a five year run with Denzel Washington and be like, this has been a quiet run for him. And then you look back and you're like, actually like there are three really good movies here.

• 11:39Bill Simmons?

  There's all hits. Jesse Palmer, parentheses, not that Jesse Palmer.

• 11:43Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 11:45Bill Simmons?

  Says, on the GoldenEye episode during casting what ifs, for Joe Don Baker's character, Chris throws out Dennis Quaid's name. Bill immediately shoots it down and says he's not old enough. And there's a bit of smoldering tit for tat between Bill and C.R. C.R. says, I think Dennis Quaid is just as good a suggestion as Nick Nolte. And it gets a little testy.

• 12:05Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 12:05Bill Simmons?

  The following segment, Craig's is flex category of the female sex killer Mount Rushmore. Admittedly, a great pullback, Craig. And you can hear Bill kinda off mic telling Craig, good one, Craig.

• 12:18Chris Ryan?

  We're gonna move C.R. to the bench soon, Craig.

• 12:21Bill Simmons?

  He says, I couldn't help but imagine C.R. as Ed Norton's character in Fight Club, looking at Bill as Brad Pitt's character, heaping praise on new potential top boy Craig as Jared Leto's angel face. And Chris Aiden himself, I feel like destroying something beautiful.

• 12:38Bill Simmons?

  He didn't have a question.

• 12:39Chris Ryan?

  I don't have an answer, that's perfect.

• 12:42Bill Simmons?

  Thought that was really good.

• 12:43Chris Ryan?

  That would be fucking amazing if you walked out of your house one day and Craig's just lying there in a heap. And I'm like, that's what you get for showing me up.

• 12:54Bill Simmons?

  Jesus.

• 12:55Speaker 01

  Dennis Quaid is the right age.

• 12:57Bill Simmons?

  Pat H. from New York City. He says, "The only runner to reach base in the Fargo rewatchables, no hitter," I guess he liked the pod.

• 13:05Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 13:05Bill Simmons?

  "is that the hot buffet chicken fricassee scene this section doesn't mention the restaurant is carpeted." "Carpeted restaurants seem like a what's aged the best, what's aged the worst split decision." "To sort this out, I'd like to propose some variation of a Chris Ryan Godfather 3, Donald Donnelly, Acting from the Tonsils International Mobile Area Flex category for what's aged the most."

• 13:29Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 13:29Bill Simmons?

  What's aged the most? So we would have what's aged the best, what's aged the worst, what's aged the most?

• 13:34Speaker 01

  This is good. The most foreign to right now.

• 13:36Chris Ryan?

  And sometimes we do have ones that are, it's really a coin toss if you would want to call this best or worst. It really depends on your affinity for indoor smoking or whatever, you know, and yeah.

• 13:47Bill Simmons?

  I would argue what's aged the most is probably just what's aged your worst.

• 13:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's closer to what's aged the worst.

• 13:54Bill Simmons?

  You could probably just shoehorn that in there.

• 13:55Chris Ryan?

  Sure. Yeah.

• 13:56Bill Simmons?

  But I really do like the subject. I mean, have you been in a restaurant that had carpeting in your lifetime?

• 14:01Speaker 01

  I mean, I haven't been in a house that has carpeting in a long time.

• 14:03Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, carpeting. I don't know what happened with carpeting. I think they realized, I think, once we had more and more dogs, I think that ruined like the actual installed carpeting.

• 14:13Chris Ryan?

  I can still like-

• 14:13Bill Simmons?

  You just have no recourse.

• 14:14Chris Ryan?

  Every once in a while, I'll go into a hotel and you'll be like, "Someone smoked in here once." Like, if it's got the carpeting, you're like, they can do a lot to it, but you're like, "Maybe in like 89, a guy had a cool in here and I can still smell it."

• 14:29Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, it was 20 years later. That was one of the things in the Room 237 documentary where they get into how there are no accidents with Kubrick and they talk about the carpet.

• 14:39Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 14:40Bill Simmons?

  And it's like in one scene, Danny, the carpet's one way and then in the same area, he changed the carpet to symbolize something else. And it's like, there were no accidents with Kubrick.

• 14:49Speaker 01

  I was at a hotel in Palm Springs a few months ago and it has the exact same carpet as the Shining Hotel.

• 14:54Chris Ryan?

  Did twins come out and say, "Craig, we'd like to play with you."

• 14:59Speaker 01

  Hey, Craig.

• 15:00Bill Simmons?

  Uh, this is from Dano. It's Dan O, not Dano.

• 15:05Chris Ryan?

  Okay, like Jack O.

• 15:06Bill Simmons?

  I know you talk a lot about actors who have no experience playing the sport they're playing in a movie. There should be a rewatchable flex category for horrible on-screen athleticism. I don't know why we don't have this, to be honest. I nominate Tim Robbins as the namesake for Bull Durham, but would happily accept Freddie Prince Jr. or Wesley Snipes. And he says, "Love story, JFK Junior Show." You guys watching this?

• 15:29Chris Ryan?

  I am not.

• 15:30Bill Simmons?

  You're not watching this?

• 15:31Chris Ryan?

  I'm not watching it.

• 15:32Bill Simmons?

  It's 90s New York. What are you doing?

• 15:33Chris Ryan?

  I don't really watch Ryan Murphy shows.

• 15:35Bill Simmons?

  It's 90s New York and the music and the...

• 15:37Chris Ryan?

  I know.

• 15:38Bill Simmons?

  Phoebe wouldn't watch that?

• 15:39Chris Ryan?

  I, I mean, like, we just haven't checked it out. I think she watched a couple of episodes, yeah.

• 15:44Bill Simmons?

  Phoebe not liking that show would really surprise me.

• 15:47Chris Ryan?

  I just don't think she's, I think she's only watched a couple of episodes.

• 15:49Bill Simmons?

  Well, he mentions Love Story. They have pickup football games played in Central Park in Episodes 1 and 4 that display some of the worst football throwing motions by a QB ever caught on film.

• 15:58Chris Ryan?

  You confirm that?

• 15:59Bill Simmons?

  I've actually mentioned this with my wife, how bad it was.

• 16:03Bill Simmons?

  The only explanation, the actors never felt a football, whatever. So, nominees for this award and who it should be named after. He mentioned three good ones. A couple others that I put some time into this, and I think I did a mailbag once about this. Mitch Kramer in Dazed and Confused, the pitching.

• 16:21Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, they do their best to cut around him, yeah.

• 16:24Bill Simmons?

  That, so that was the Freddie Prince summer catch thing? The wind-up and then cutting to the guy behind him where it's clearly the stunt double pitcher, because you know the guy couldn't throw.

• 16:32Chris Ryan?

  And isn't Wiley Wiggins kind of haunted by, like, the amount of criticism his pitching got?

• 16:37Bill Simmons?

  He should be. I think it's all justified. Roy Hobbs' son at the end of The Natural. Roy Hobbs is in the cornfield. He just hit the homerun that set all the fireworks and then, uh, it cuts to him with his bastard son, his Jon Snow, Jon Snow Hobbs. And he's having a catch and the kid's kind of doing one of those.

• 16:58Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 16:59Bill Simmons?

  Underrated one, Denunzio and Caddyshack. The other caddy in Caddyshack has one of the worst swings of all time trying to win the Caddyshack Open. Snipes and White Men Can't Jump. This is one we've gotten emails about before.

• 17:12Chris Ryan?

  Can I just hit pause? This is just accepted that you guys think Wesley Snipes can't play ball and White Men Can't Jump?

• 17:19Bill Simmons?

  I think they taught him how to play. I think he was an athletic guy. We argued about this when we did this.

• 17:26Chris Ryan?

  I think we did.

• 17:27Bill Simmons?

  He was an athletic guy that they basically had no basketball background and you could tell by the way he dribbles and some of the stuff.

• 17:32Chris Ryan?

  But I always felt like Woody and Wesley were like actual ball players who like they picked because they wouldn't have to do that.

• 17:39Bill Simmons?

  No, we did some research. He'd never played basketball.

• 17:42Speaker 01

  Didn't he not know how to play baseball either? Didn't they cut around him in major league?

• 17:46Bill Simmons?

  I think he was athletic, but not athletic.

• 17:48Speaker 01

  There's like no shots of him throwing a ball in major league because it was so bad they couldn't use it?

• 17:51Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, but he's also like his character's whole thing is like he's like kind of a showboat in center field. So I don't think he ever has to like gun somebody down at second base.

• 18:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:01Bill Simmons?

  One of the best ones for this was they taught Rob Lowe to skate for Youngblood. He'd never skated and he's actually pretty good.

• 18:06Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 18:06Bill Simmons?

  Like it gave me hope I could learn how to skate in six weeks.

• 18:09Speaker 01

  There's a really famous one online. There was a movie that came out in 2015, a comedy called The Duff.

• 18:14Bill Simmons?

  So that was my next one I had.

• 18:15Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 18:15Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 18:16Speaker 01

  That one's really bad. It's with May Whitman, the girl who plays.

• 18:19Bill Simmons?

  I like May Whitman.

• 18:19Speaker 01

  Anne Veal in Arrested Development.

• 18:21Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 18:21Speaker 01

  The Duff is an insane concept for a movie, but there is a scene where a quarterback is playing catch on the field with somebody and it looks like he's throwing with the opposite hand.

• 18:30Bill Simmons?

  She's standing next to him and he's getting the ball like when like Drake May is warming up to go in. And he's just like doing this back.

• 18:37Speaker 01

  He's having like many seizures every time he throws the ball.

• 18:39Bill Simmons?

  It's like he has like a completely torn rotator cuff and they made him film it anyway.

• 18:43Chris Ryan?

  My favorite moment recently with this was watching Paradise, the second season of Paradise. Did you watch that?

• 18:49Bill Simmons?

  Ah, I got off the train.

• 18:50Chris Ryan?

  Okay, so in the second season, they, there's a whole thing that's at Graceland and five guys who were like going across the country show up there and they are playing football, but like it's, it is literally like, are you guys playing like Australian Rules football or rugby or something? Cause they're like tossing it underhanded to each other and just giggling a lot. I'm like, I don't think this would ever happen.

• 19:13Bill Simmons?

  I very carefully watched Top Gun Maverick recently. And I watched the football scene when they're playing football in opposite ways.

• 19:20Speaker 01

  You were literally watching Top Gun Maverick when we walked in.

• 19:23Bill Simmons?

  Well, I was, it was on.

• 19:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:26Speaker 01

  Top Gun Maverick and Florida Kentucky on at the same time.

• 19:29Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. The athletes in, in the, in the, what, what did they call it? It's shotgun football or something, or if he had some term for it.

• 19:36Speaker 01

  Is it dogfight football?

• 19:38Bill Simmons?

  Dogfight football.

• 19:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, because it's two, it's two balls.

• 19:40Bill Simmons?

  I really wanted one of the athletes to be bad, but it was actually like pretty, pretty compelling an athletic.

• 19:45Speaker 01

  I mean, I went back and watched the volleyball scene from the original Top Gun. It's not that bad because there's a lot of doubles when they cut away from the kind of wide shots. It's doubles who looked really good.

• 19:53Bill Simmons?

  It's just also a lot of guys wearing jeans, which is just so insane. Five A Cruz in jeans lofting way up over the net to like block people. It's pretty good. A couple more. Leo in Basketball Diaries, where do you stand on that? It's been a while since I've seen it, but I'm sure it drove Walbert crazy. It was a lot of like, like dribbling like this, like the Michael, Michael J. Fox, who we got to mention too in Teen Wolf. Uh, Field of Dreams dad, we've talked about him before, just came up recently in a movie. We've talked about Tom Cruise, War of the Worlds.

• 20:24Speaker 01

  That's a tough one.

• 20:25Bill Simmons?

  Yep. Famous one, I actually went because I Googled to make sure I didn't miss anything. And there was a Reddit thread defending Tom Cruise in War of the Worlds that's saying that that's what the character, that's how the character would have thrown the ball. Tom Cruise is actually a great athlete.

• 20:40Speaker 01

  Too hard or because he just doesn't have good form?

• 20:41Bill Simmons?

  It's basically like Tom Cruise made a choice for this scene.

• 20:43Speaker 01

  Because he's playing catch with his son, right? Oh, so okay, he took it easy on his son.

• 20:47Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, he took, he made a choice. The Bennett like Beckham girl.

• 20:52Bill Simmons?

  This movie called Slugger's Wife with Mike O'Keefe and Rebecca DeWone. He's a home run hitter, really bad swing. It's really, it's like kind of single handedly ruined the movie. And then one of my favorites, John C. Reilly in For Love of the Game, which I asked Costner about once and he is basically like. He was the catcher and they very carefully cut around him. You never actually see him catching and there's obvious stunt doubles.

• 21:15Chris Ryan?

  And he's not throwing back to.

• 21:16Bill Simmons?

  He never played sports.

• 21:17Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 21:17Bill Simmons?

  But the, I mentioned Ben Legbekham. Segal running is the other one where I don't know if that could be. We have two named after Segal already, but that's Segal when he runs with his hands up and does whatever. So who should this category be named after? I gave you 20 nominees. Tim Robbins, I feel bad for because he, he said he threw out his arm like two days into.

• 21:39Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, he also like, I think does a good job doing Ebbies pronounced motion. Like his wind up is like idiosyncratic and he does a good job with that.

• 21:48Bill Simmons?

  He just, he just, he left it all in the field and, and left his rotator cuff in the field.

• 21:52Chris Ryan?

  I don't think it's that bad, Tim Robbins. Should we do John C. Reilly? I have a hard time saying Wesley Snipes for some reason.

• 21:57Bill Simmons?

  It's not Mitch Kramer?

• 21:59Chris Ryan?

  Again, they cut around him, but you could.

• 22:01Bill Simmons?

  You worried about Mitch Kramer?

• 22:03Chris Ryan?

  Well, if I was like 15 and I was in one of the best movies ever made and everybody just remembered me for having a shitty. It's like pitching motion. I think the Duff is not famous enough for it to have the title.

• 22:13Bill Simmons?

  No, it's not famous enough. Maybe we.

• 22:15Chris Ryan?

  Tom Cruise?

• 22:16Bill Simmons?

  Maybe we narrow it down to a final four.

• 22:18Chris Ryan?

  And put it up for a vote. Oh yeah. And we can actually show the clips.

• 22:21Bill Simmons?

  Hey, they voted for this.

• 22:22Chris Ryan?

  Yeah. So Wiley Wiggins, Tom Cruise, John C. Reilly. And who's the other fourth? Who's the fourth? Do we want the Duff in there?

• 22:29Bill Simmons?

  No, Freddie Pritchard Jr. Has to be one of the four.

• 22:31Chris Ryan?

  Okay. What movie is that from?

• 22:33Bill Simmons?

  It's from Summer Catch with Jessica Biel.

• 22:35Chris Ryan?

  Oh, I haven't seen that.

• 22:36Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Yeah, you'd probably like it sitting in the cape. Jessica Biel looks great. I think it's Jessica Biel. Is it Jessica Biel or Jessica Alba? I think it's Jessica Biel.

• 22:45Chris Ryan?

  I can't remember.

• 22:46Bill Simmons?

  Um, yeah, well, so we'll figure out four. We'll do a vote. Okay. This is from Russ. Another, these questions were really good. My wife is a hairdresser and flies into a blind rage anytime in a movie where there's an emergency haircut in the bathroom with kitchen scissors. And the outcome is a stunning haircut.

• 23:03Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 23:04Bill Simmons?

  Examples. Bourne Identity, Matt Damon gives Franca Patente, what was her name?

• 23:10Chris Ryan?

  Uh, Franca Patente, yeah.

• 23:12Bill Simmons?

  A cute shorty when they're on the run.

• 23:14Chris Ryan?

  It's one of the hottest things ever. He dyes her hair.

• 23:16Bill Simmons?

  Working Girl, Melanie Griffith getting the pre Harrison Ford meetup hairdo from Joan Cusack. Sicario, Day of the Soldado. You ever seen that one, CR?

• 23:24Chris Ryan?

  I have seen that a couple of times.

• 23:26Bill Simmons?

  Benicio del Toro giving the cartel daughter the short hairdo before attempting to cross the border. And there's a couple of other good examples. We did in Legend of Billie Jean, she goes in with the kitchen scissors and comes out and looks amazing.

• 23:38Chris Ryan?

  I'd throw in, uh, Richard Kimball in the hospital room with a pair of like cuticle scissors and a disposable razor coming out looking like fucking Harrison Ford.

• 23:48Bill Simmons?

  Right, with like, and like a three dollar hair darkener.

• 23:51Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, I have like a nick on my, my upper lip right now that was just from like shaving the other day with like a nice razor.

• 23:56Bill Simmons?

  That was a shaving accent?

• 23:57Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 23:58Bill Simmons?

  Oh, thank God. I swear it was a hooker.

• 24:05Bill Simmons?

  Oh God, I should have more faith in you, sir.

• 24:07Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, thanks bud.

• 24:08Bill Simmons?

  Um, he suggests the Vidal Baboon Award for Best Homemade Haircut. I don't know if this would happen enough times, but I do think we should monitor this going forward.

• 24:18Chris Ryan?

  Did she cut her hair and gone, girl? Well, she breaks her own teeth, so I'd be like, whatever she wants to do to her appearance.

• 24:24Bill Simmons?

  Maybe, maybe there's some sort of like best bastardation of home beauty care or something. I don't know, there's some sort of idea.

• 24:32Chris Ryan?

  I think that one of the, the things that really bothers me is when you don't have the tools to do it and then you come out and you're like, look, I look great.

• 24:40Bill Simmons?

  Andy says, best podcast in the history of the medium. You guys are the greatest. Thanks, Andy.

• 24:46Chris Ryan?

  That's really nice.

• 24:47Bill Simmons?

  I did have a nitpick.

• 24:48Chris Ryan?

  He's like, that's it.

• 24:49Bill Simmons?

  Of course he had a nitpick. Uh, with Apex Mountain of Dinner Scene Assassinations, which we talked about on Sicario. We said, uh, Alejandro going in and murdering the guy. We said that was the best. And he was like, what about Michael killing Solazol Mccluskey? Give the lead up, I don't want him coming out of the bathroom with just his cock in his hands, Clemenza showing him the gun. That has to be Apex Mountain. Louis Restaurant, I agree Sicario's up there, but how could it not be The Godfather? He's right.

• 25:19Chris Ryan?

  Both Acts of Vengeance, uh...

• 25:20Bill Simmons?

  Godfather's just a bigger, more important movie. Godfather wins.

• 25:23Chris Ryan?

  Okay. I think there's also just more, there's actually more drama in that Godfather scene. There's more buildup and suspense.

• 25:28Speaker 01

  I'm, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna zag. I didn't see Michael Corleone killing anyone's kids.

• 25:33Chris Ryan?

  You know, like, so until he gets there, until he has like Salato's kids in front of him, you're not seeing Alejandro.

• 25:41Bill Simmons?

  Well, there's some backstory with Godfather where they were gonna like, they wanted to replace Pacino and they shot that scene and that was the scene that saved him from getting fired from-

• 25:49Chris Ryan?

  Oh, really?

• 25:50Bill Simmons?

  Big shot Rob Evans in The Godfather. So I don't know. Fair points. Uh, oh, this is a nice email from Keith W. In Portland, Oregon, one of your favorite places.

• 26:01Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, one of my spots.

• 26:02Bill Simmons?

  Home of Chuck Klosterman. "The beauty of being an active member of this Rewatchables club is the shared shorthand. We should stop asking what item we want to have and start asking what item would identify as a fellow fanatic of our favorite movie. Updated category: The secret handshake. What piece of memorabilia would only a Rewatchables OG recognize?"

• 26:24Chris Ryan?

  Oh, yeah, that's good.

• 26:25Bill Simmons?

  Um, "The goal is to identify a prop meaningless to the masses, but a tell for somebody who's rewatched the movie too much. A few secret handshake examples. Heat, a copy of stress fractures in titanium."

• 26:37Chris Ryan?

  Oh, that's good.

• 26:42Bill Simmons?

  Vision Quest, Loud and Swain's red Asex wrestling high tops, which we talked about on that pod-

• 26:47Chris Ryan?

  We sure did, yeah.

• 26:48Bill Simmons?

  -for five solid minutes. Sicario, the blue and pink cartel money bands-

• 26:51Chris Ryan?

  Yes.

• 26:52Bill Simmons?

  -or the Indian Creek cigs. Talk amongst yourselves. It's less about the resale value of the object, more about the if you know, you know badge of honor.

• 27:00Chris Ryan?

  That's a really good one.

• 27:01Bill Simmons?

  It's a really good one. I almost feel like we changed the memorabilia category and if the movie doesn't have it, we just don't even do it.

• 27:07Chris Ryan?

  Yeah. Just recently, I would love Jerry's, like, salesman of the month picture that's behind Jerry in Fargo. I should do that where I'm like, CR month picture of myself above my head.

• 27:21Bill Simmons?

  Well, for Sicario, what was the bar when Emily Blunt meets Bernthal?

• 27:24Chris Ryan?

  Oh, it's like, it's not Wild Bills, it's something-

• 27:26Bill Simmons?

  Wild something?

• 27:27Chris Ryan?

  Something Pony or something like that.

• 27:28Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, you get like the matches from that.

• 27:30Chris Ryan?

  Sure.

• 27:30Bill Simmons?

  I like the deep cut memorabilia, I think is a good idea.

• 27:33Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, the secret handshake's good.

• 27:34Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, that's good. Good, good email. Uh, Tyler Davis, "Watched To Live and Die in LA last night and it's a CR special if I've ever seen one." Prentice's complimentary. "I feel like the movie presents the pod with a perfect new category idea. Character most likely to want Quentin Daly to start over Michael Jordan."

• 27:56Bill Simmons?

  Most likely candidates, Big Nick from Dead of Thieves and Jim from the Town.

• 28:03Chris Ryan?

  Big Nick would be like, yeah.

• 28:05Bill Simmons?

  How about it? You think, you think size more in Heat, probably?

• 28:08Chris Ryan?

  Oh, yeah. Big Nick was probably like a big Tim Thomas guy for the Clippers. He was just like.

• 28:13Bill Simmons?

  They just gotta play it more.

• 28:15Chris Ryan?

  That's a double double every night.

• 28:18Bill Simmons?

  Okay, I don't know if this works as a category, but I like it as, uh, keep it in our back pocket.

• 28:22Chris Ryan?

  I really like that.

• 28:24Bill Simmons?

  Mike D says, in honor of CR Month, I have a suggestion for a new category. What item from Midnight Run would help the protagonist the most? So we would just be doing the movie and it would be like, what midnight run accessory would help him? He said, a money belt containing 300,000, you can't use it till the start. The very end of the movie, they start a new life, a plate of tree-sown eggs, Alonzo Mosley's stolen batch, whatever. Did you have any others for this?

• 28:48Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 28:48Bill Simmons?

  I only sent you three questions, this is one of them.

• 28:50Chris Ryan?

  So I would, I would definitely say that any movie where somebody has sacrificed for a principle would be great to have the money belt, because that's the entire point of Midnight Run. But it is also just funny to imagine Agnes getting it at the end of Hamlet. It's just like, hey, I wrote fucking Hamlet, we got paid off that.

• 29:09Bill Simmons?

  She's not crying anymore now, she's crying tears in her eyes.

• 29:12Chris Ryan?

  She has a plate of tree-sown eggs. She's just, um.

• 29:14Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, Castaway would be the tree-sown eggs.

• 29:17Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 29:17Bill Simmons?

  It's like, oh my God, this is amazing.

• 29:19Chris Ryan?

  This is the best, yeah. And then anything, like, I mean, the Alonzo Mosley FBI thing is just, trying to think of like where that would work the best is, it's tough, it's like, uh.

• 29:29Bill Simmons?

  This question made me want to do Midnight Run again, because we did it, I think, first year. You've seen it, right?

• 29:35Chris Ryan?

  I love that movie, yeah. One of my favorites.

• 29:37Bill Simmons?

  It's just completely ageless.

• 29:39Chris Ryan?

  Of course. It's so good.

• 29:40Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, it's one of the few, the movie came out in 1989, so it's 37 years old. And I just feel like it, it just doesn't, it's not a like, oh, they were, like, you don't think about, oh, they'd have cell phones now, all that stupid shit. It just works perfect.

• 29:53Chris Ryan?

  It's just, it's, it's just basically the best casting of a buddy action movie ever.

• 29:58Speaker 01

  The chemistry between them, it'll last forever.

• 29:59Bill Simmons?

  I'm gonna shoot you through the glass.

• 30:03Bill Simmons?

  Let's take a break and then we'll keep going. This episode is brought to you by Fire TV. You've been there settling in for a relaxing evening of TV. You waste half the night scrolling through options. Can't really find anything to watch. Well, enter Fire TV. It's entertainment with zero effort required. Fire TV serves up personalized recommendations from across all your apps. All in one place. It's your helper. Not sure what to watch next? Just tell Alexa Plus what you're in the mood for. She'll pull up the perfect recommendation. Problem solved. Stop the scroll. Start the show. Find what you're looking for with Fire TV. Subscription may be required.

• 30:44Speaker 03

  Hey Spotify listeners. When you travel with American Airlines, you'll enjoy comfort and convenience at every altitude. Before takeoff, unwind in the Admirals Club Lounge with curated self-serve offerings of hearty bites and refreshments. In flight, stay connected with high-speed Wi-Fi. Sponsored by AT&T. Your journey is designed to feel easy from the moment you check in to the moment you arrive. No matter where you're going, American gets you there. Book now at aa.com.

• 31:10Bill Simmons?

  All right, this is from Nick in Columbus. On the Skaria pod, you guys were struggling with finding a role for Cruz or Hanks. Where did we land on that? I don't remember.

• 31:18Chris Ryan?

  I think we were, I think it was Hanks. For who? Actually, I don't even know if we came to a conclusion on that. We kind of. Cruz was Brolin?

• 31:26Bill Simmons?

  No, didn't we say Cruz as Berthold?

• 31:29Chris Ryan?

  But it's gotta be the lead, right? Or a lead?

• 31:33Bill Simmons?

  Oh, is that what we said?

• 31:34Chris Ryan?

  It's gotta be a lead character.

• 31:35Bill Simmons?

  Well, CR mentioned earlier in the pod, this is Nick, that many studios wanted the K character to be a guy. That makes 90s Cruz perfect for this.

• 31:45Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 31:45Bill Simmons?

  The firm.

• 31:46Chris Ryan?

  Mm-hmm. Few Good Men.

• 31:47Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, Few Good Men. The guy learning the world. It's not quite what it appears to be.

• 31:51Chris Ryan?

  Mm-hmm. You can even go earlier to like Rain Man Born on the Fourth of July or Cruz. Cruz is good at playing innocent. Yeah.

• 31:57Bill Simmons?

  But then the only question is then when you get the bar, the hookup scene gone wrong.

• 32:04Bill Simmons?

  Would lead to some of the best moments of Cruz's career. A love scene where you have to be too into it and then he realizes something wrong and he tells them they have to stop.

• 32:12Speaker 01

  And then Emily Blunt could have played the Bernthal character.

• 32:15Chris Ryan?

  That's right. She's the one who picks him up and like doing some line dancing. Yeah.

• 32:19Bill Simmons?

  But instead of a heated hookup, they're just lying in bed laughing and then he's like, no, no, no, stop, stop, stop, stop.

• 32:25Bill Simmons?

  Another question. Oh, this is a great one from Pete in Massachusetts. This is a, this is a two-part question. He's listening to the Sicario pod, hearing Bill mispronounce Floyd Gondoli's name, a character from his supposed favorite movie of the past 30 years.

• 32:39Chris Ryan?

  It's Gondoli, right?

• 32:40Bill Simmons?

  Gondoli. For some reason I was just reading and I said, God, I just fucked up. I think we're finally at the point to initiate a new rewatchables category for excellence in the field of mispronunciation. Granted, it would be awarded to Bill 10 out of 10 times, but it needs to be established.

• 32:55Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 32:55Bill Simmons?

  I'd suggest that Von Dam, Van Dam, did Bill just have an under seizure award for most inexcusable mass occurring of a name? And he wanted like Craig to just throw out a challenge flag when I throw out a like a, like a.

• 33:09Speaker 01

  When you say Theon Lovejoy.

• 33:10Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 33:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:11Bill Simmons?

  You just have a flag like, like you're, like Mike McDaniel, just throwing it out to stop the pod. Um, and then he said.

• 33:19Chris Ryan?

  It would be great if we could get like the, remember that Nickelodeon show where the people would get slimed? You can't do that on a challenge.

• 33:24Bill Simmons?

  Get shot with a water gun.

• 33:25Chris Ryan?

  Every time you do Gondoli.

• 33:26Speaker 01

  There's a dunk tank.

• 33:27Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. My, my answer for mispronunciations as always is it's hard to host.

• 33:34Bill Simmons?

  There you go. It's, I just fall back on that all the time. He keeps going though. He said, if you want another challenge flag category, I'd like to suggest the Bangkok Coralback Tip-Off Award for is Craig actually a serial killer who will one day have his own Netflix true crime documentary? He said, in the Scariapod, this would be when Craig casually suggested that Alejandro murdering the cartel's leader, wife and children in front of him was that sadistic enough? That after executing his family, he killed the kick pin too quickly.

• 34:03Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 34:03Bill Simmons?

  It should have let it, quote, sit for a minute.

• 34:05Chris Ryan?

  Yeah. Let him marinate on it.

• 34:07Speaker 01

  He, this guy dropped his daughter in a vat of acid. He's just gonna shoot him in the head? Not enough.

• 34:12Bill Simmons?

  So he said, once the wringer bodies start showing up behind drywall in an Arizona spec house, there will be a lot of, we should have seen this coming in memorial pieces.

• 34:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:20Bill Simmons?

  About Craig's victims. I don't know. I'm not against it.

• 34:23Speaker 01

  Cause this came from Denzel, right? In American Gangster where he shoots that guy in the head.

• 34:27Chris Ryan?

  He shoots Idris, yeah.

• 34:28Speaker 01

  He should have shot him in the chest.

• 34:31Speaker 01

  Why? So he could see him, see him die.

• 34:35Chris Ryan?

  Oh, you do the De Niro on Wayne.

• 34:36Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 34:37Chris Ryan?

  Two taps and then one, yeah.

• 34:40Speaker 01

  You want the person to know that you killed them.

• 34:42Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 34:42Speaker 01

  If you get shot in the head, they don't know.

• 34:43Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, what else? What else?

• 34:44Speaker 01

  That's the whole point.

• 34:45Chris Ryan?

  He gives letting him off easy. Fausto like five seconds to think about like, wow, my family went before me. This is crazy.

• 34:52Speaker 01

  Not enough.

• 34:53Bill Simmons?

  I didn't quite know to do this one, but I'm gonna read it anyway. From Aaron in Edmonton. Thanks for a great pod. Had the idea for a category. What change would make this movie 10% better? Sort of a take on recasting actor, city or director? Like how Heat would be 10% better if they either dropped the Portman storyline? Or had Vincent doing coke? Or Gangs of New York if Cameron Diaz was recast? I mean, that, that would be a 30% better. Or any number of movies that should have ended differently. 10% is tough. I almost think it would have to be like 4%.

• 35:22Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, but it's, it's good because it's not something as big as recasting. Cause a recasting would, like you said, really significantly change the texture of the movie. It's like.

• 35:31Speaker 01

  A tweak.

• 35:32Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, or like the, the music in this chase scene was bad. You know what I mean? Like Golden Eye is a really good example. That first like driving through the Alps moment that they have. And I was like, oh, the music in this, it just stinks.

• 35:44Speaker 01

  Or the song, the Golden Eye song itself. You're like, oh, that's could have been better.

• 35:47Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 35:48Bill Simmons?

  But then we're basically just in what stage is the worst?

• 35:50Speaker 01

  It's kind of a nitpick, I guess.

• 35:52Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, it's a nitpick, but it would be like, hey, you made this change. You get like this much better.

• 35:57Bill Simmons?

  So maybe in recasting couch, that category, you have the option to just do the 10% better.

• 36:02Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 36:05Bill Simmons?

  All right. Brian in Bethesda, I'm glad he brought this up because I've been thinking about it a lot. He said, on more than one occasion, you've been discussing a movie with the narrator? And have said something along the lines of, I normally hate narrators of movies, but this is a rare exception where it works well. I have said this many times.

• 36:20Chris Ryan?

  Yes.

• 36:22Bill Simmons?

  He points out that there's been a lot of movies that have narration that we've loved on the rewatchables. Fair point. He, best movie of all time Shawshank, these are his words. Best mob movie, Goodfellas, Vegas Casino, Vietnam, Apocalypse Now, eighties Ferris Bueller's Day Off, dude movie Fight Club, coming of age Stand By Me, cult Big Lebowski, Christmas, Christmas Story, fairy tale movie Princess Bride, Rise and Fall, Wolf of Wall Street, best premature ejaculation movie Forrest Gump. This is his list. He says, yeah, it's cringe worthy when a movie is a bad narrator, he's just one as a crutch. It was so bad in the original Blade Runner, Ridley Scott later removed, Harris supports narration. But it also can be valuable.

• 37:04Bill Simmons?

  Henry Hill, Red, Hoping the Pacific Would Be As Blue As His Dream, so on and so on.

• 37:08Speaker 01

  What's an example of narration that you hate?

• 37:11Bill Simmons?

  So here's the thing. I, I think I have to tweak my opinion on this because there's too many examples of narration being good. I think my stance needs to be, there's nothing worse than bad narration.

• 37:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:22Bill Simmons?

  Maybe that's where I need to land.

• 37:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:24Bill Simmons?

  I think I'm just wrong. I'm gonna admit defeat.

• 37:27Speaker 01

  I mean, it's, it's a side of growth.

• 37:28Bill Simmons?

  I'm anti narrator, but most, he just listed 12 movies that I really liked that had narration.

• 37:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, it feels like a crutch. If the movie's bad, it's a crutch to try to make the movie better. But if the movie's already good, the narration isn't a problem.

• 37:39Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 37:40Speaker 01

  It's just a qual- it's a-

• 37:41Bill Simmons?

  And he didn't even mention like Outside Providence has narration. Like there's a bunch of like, lower level movies that I love that have it.

• 37:48Speaker 01

  This year, Train Dreams.

• 37:49Chris Ryan?

  There's another one where it's like, there will be the introductory and concluding narration, but not, it doesn't like, you don't have it throughout the film. And I think that that has like a special category, but yeah, I was just wondering like, what's a movie that you've seen that has narration that you're like, this sucks?

• 38:07Bill Simmons?

  I really hate it even more for documentaries. And I feel like when you're doing a documentary, the goal should always be not to have narration. And if you have narration, you're probably doing it wrong.

• 38:17Chris Ryan?

  Can I ask you a follow up question?

• 38:19Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 38:19Chris Ryan?

  Would you like to see narration come back from movie trailers? And go back to like, in a world.

• 38:25Bill Simmons?

  Oh, yeah. I, first of all, I would redo movie trailers completely from how we're doing them. With from, we did forty-five years of us showing too much of the movie in the trailer. I like the, when we don't, it's like, oh, this is coming, but I don't really know what it, like, I actually was one of the few people that liked the Devil Wears Prada two trailer. Cause I don't really know what it's about.

• 38:46Chris Ryan?

  Sure.

• 38:46Bill Simmons?

  But they showed us everyone that's in it and I'm like, okay.

• 38:49Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, I'm in.

• 38:50Bill Simmons?

  That's all I needed.

• 38:51Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, you don't want to tease any of the plot. You just want to get people excited by showing the vibe of the movie.

• 38:55Bill Simmons?

  There's been a couple of movies where I've seen the trailer and I'm like, okay, guess I don't need to go.

• 38:59Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, but if you had like a, I don't know. If you had something like, you know, they were two outcasts.

• 39:06Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 39:07Chris Ryan?

  He was a writer.

• 39:07Bill Simmons?

  I really miss that.

• 39:08Chris Ryan?

  She was just a, a, a little farm girl and he wound up writing Hamlet. This is their story. I mean, I don't think that would work, but like, I think it could be useful in other.

• 39:18Bill Simmons?

  He was a Colombian lawyer assassin and his daughter was dropped in acid.

• 39:22Chris Ryan?

  Well, actually Craig, I believe he is from Mexico.

• 39:27Bill Simmons?

  One of my Instagram things that always gets suggested to me is like late seventies, early eighties ABC commercials.

• 39:33Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 39:34Bill Simmons?

  Where they're like, in Vegas, Dantana's busting two call girls. But it's that Paul Thomas Anderson's dad.

• 39:41Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 39:41Bill Simmons?

  Ernie Anderson is doing it. I just want to go back in general to the cigarette narration voice.

• 39:46Chris Ryan?

  Can we have a flex category that's the Ernie Anderson, what would you do to narrate the trailer for this movie? Because there would be some that would be really fucking funny.

• 39:53Bill Simmons?

  Maybe that should, we should include that in the Zane Lowe, Wayne Jenkins.

• 39:56Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 39:56Bill Simmons?

  Or Ernie Anderson's trailer. Yeah, or Ernie Anderson's trailer.

• 40:00Chris Ryan?

  He was from the wrong side of the tracks in Boston. She was working at a bank. They met at a robbery. The town coming soon.

• 40:09Bill Simmons?

  And now his friends want to kill her, literally. Isabel Lopez. It's probably the smartest email we've gotten.

• 40:17Chris Ryan?

  I like that you do first and last names, not holding back on these emailers.

• 40:21Bill Simmons?

  Well, you put your name in, I'm gonna read it.

• 40:22Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 40:23Bill Simmons?

  She loves the show. She was listening to the Martian episode, which we did, I think, six years ago.

• 40:28Chris Ryan?

  During COVID.

• 40:28Bill Simmons?

  With JC. Bill says you need a special category for the post Apex, Mountain Apex. He called it the I still got it mountain.

• 40:37Chris Ryan?

  Oh, yeah, sure.

• 40:39Bill Simmons?

  She said, there's a term for that in math. It's called the local maximum. It's the relative high point on a graph that's not the highest peak. I love the idea and think it actually applies to a lot of actor films you guys cover on the show. And she included a graph that for some reason didn't get dropped into my document. But she actually had the draft.

• 40:58Chris Ryan?

  Can I clean up the category name a little bit here? The Kawhi Leonard pre-suspension push.

• 41:06Bill Simmons?

  The Kawhi Leonard last gasp Apex?

• 41:08Chris Ryan?

  Right before your contract gets voided, you just fucking let everybody know you're still the best player in the world.

• 41:13Bill Simmons?

  So Matt Damon, The Martian's a great one. What are some other ones, though?

• 41:16Chris Ryan?

  Um, well, let me think about it. So this is kind of like a post-prime. You get your ring in your mid 30s, like LeBron 2016, Steph 2022 kind of vibe.

• 41:29Bill Simmons?

  Steph 2022, that's a great one.

• 41:31Chris Ryan?

  Steph, Steph's, that's really good.

• 41:33Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, that's even better than Kawhi.

• 41:35Chris Ryan?

  Well, the thing is, Steph never really fell off. Kawhi was like, kind of gone for four years there and now is just like, I'm the best two-way player.

• 41:43Bill Simmons?

  You're getting paid by Bomber right now?

• 41:45Chris Ryan?

  Me?

• 41:45Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, a little aspiration money, go to the C R's account.

• 41:49Chris Ryan?

  I'm sorry if I just want to fix carbon emissions, dude.

• 41:54Bill Simmons?

  Liam Neeson in Taken would be a good one for this.

• 41:56Chris Ryan?

  That's a good one. Is it like Keanu Reeves, John Wick?

• 41:58Bill Simmons?

  Yes.

• 41:59Chris Ryan?

  Perfect. Yes.

• 42:01Bill Simmons?

  It's another good one. We'll keep an eye on this next time it comes up. Thanks, Isabel. Uh, this is from Jim. This is a really good one. I didn't send you guys any of these because it's funnier to hear the natural reactions. The first time we did this, I accidentally sent the document and C R knew everything that was coming and I was bothered about it for like six months.

• 42:19Chris Ryan?

  The downside is that you hear a lot of like, let me give that some thought.

• 42:22Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, yeah. I think I'm pro reactions. He says, thanks for the rewatchables. It's been my go-to since the first heat dropped. I want to propose a new category. The would you accept this character's organ donation award for any character who dies in the movie?

• 42:39Bill Simmons?

  So like Richard Chance from To Live and Die. Right. He said, he has, yes, I would Goose, Rachel Banks, Ray Merriman, Dickie Greenleaf, Neil from Dead Poets, Dr. Beth Gardner, French guy from Unfaithful, and Carl from Die Hard. French Neil from Dead Poets. It's a weird one.

• 43:01Bill Simmons?

  He shot himself in the head and all the organs were fine. So is this just who's not an alcoholic? Well, here's his, here's his no, I would not group. Wingrove, Quinn, Eddie Barzun, Doug Coughlin, anyone from Alien, Inedna, Buffalo Bill, Doc Holliday, or Jenny Gump? Doc Holliday, you would get sicker getting Doc Holliday's organs. Be like, why do I all of a sudden have TB? Then he said in Birth Thought We Trust. That's pretty good. That's great. I, I don't know if that's in everything, but I think we backpocketed it. I think that's in the flex category. Yeah. Would I accept an organ donation? Or maybe it's like, who's organ would you want from this movie? Yeah. I think if we did an organ donation draft, I think Quinn's the first pick for the one I would want.

• 43:45Bill Simmons?

  He's just been drinking for 25 straight years. Oh, yeah. And smoking. And has, definitely has melanoma from being out on a boat with no suntan lotion. Yeah, I would think he would have the most things wrong with him. Yeah. Would you say? The shark probably put him out of his misery, honestly. Chuck Dolan from Cast Away? Is he, is he a yes or a no for organ donation?

• 44:05Bill Simmons?

  Sunned that island for five years, had a really bad staph infection in his mouth. Fasting is good for you, though. You know, he's been in ketosis for two years. Oh, true. That's right. His clarity.

• 44:15Bill Simmons?

  His liver would be great. He's pretty clean.

• 44:17Chris Ryan?

  Do you think the first time he has like a Coors Light when he gets back, it just blows his mind? Like, he just gets completely tanked?

• 44:23Bill Simmons?

  Oh, yeah. Oh, I would say like half a glass of wine. Yeah. His first trip to McDonald's sets him back a week.

• 44:28Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 44:30Bill Simmons?

  Adam Chu says, I have a suggestion for a new category award, the Clint Eastwood ego stroke award. For the detail or scene that's clearly just there to stroke the person's ego. Named after Clint Eastwood in The Mule, who plays an octogenarian who has two separate threesomes. Is this a thing that happened? I don't think I've ever seen The Mule. I don't think I have either.

• 44:49Chris Ryan?

  Uh, I gotta admit, I don't remember that from The Mule, and I think I saw it in the theaters.

• 44:54Bill Simmons?

  Clint had to make sure we knew that not only does he still fuck, he fucks with stamina. This guy might have a director's cut.

• 45:02Bill Simmons?

  He said other examples are The Rock and Vin Diesel never losing a fight in every choice Steven Seagal has ever made, which we've talked about.

• 45:09Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 45:09Bill Simmons?

  Steven Seagal, every movie, he just, nobody even lands a punch on him. He just completely demolishes everyone. Vin Diesel's a good one, though. We've never seen Vin Diesel lose a fight in any of the Fast and Furious's.

• 45:21Bill Simmons?

  Not against this award. I might, I might throw it in the flexes.

• 45:24Chris Ryan?

  Clint has priors too. I, I always found like the Rene Russo Clint Eastwood in the line of fire relationship to be like, putting a little layer of cream cheese on that.

• 45:33Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 45:34Chris Ryan?

  Now she's gonna look back at me cuz she loves it. She can't get enough.

• 45:39Bill Simmons?

  She's looking back, wondering if you're still driving cuz you're 78.

• 45:43Chris Ryan?

  Somehow you're still in the Secret Service.

• 45:46Bill Simmons?

  Connor from California said, what would be the Mount Rushmore of movie recommendations that would almost guarantee the female recipient you're interested would not have interest, not only in seeing the movie, but ever speaking to you again?

• 45:57Chris Ryan?

  Like To Live and Die in L.A. is, is a, a really good one to start with. Wow, this is a phenomenal question.

• 46:02Bill Simmons?

  He said, uh, he nominates Bad Lieutenant, Happiness, Eight Millimeter, and Come and See.

• 46:08Chris Ryan?

  We have, I don't think we're gonna do Come and See on the real actables.

• 46:11Bill Simmons?

  And he said, I got to thinking how to repurpose this into a category and I give you the Harvey Keitel Traffic Stop Bad Lieutenant Award for worst possible scene to watch on a first date.

• 46:20Chris Ryan?

  I know a guy who took a girl to go see the Romanian abortion drama for months, three weeks and two days on a first date.

• 46:27Bill Simmons?

  Oh, my God.

• 46:30Chris Ryan?

  I think Hereditary would be up there. That's a good one. Death Wish?

• 46:35Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, Craig's still scarred from Death Wish.

• 46:37Chris Ryan?

  You're pretty tough. I mean, even I, even I walked in there with my head hanging low. I was like, I feel weird about this one. And I think we like, kinda scooted by, past the first 20 minutes.

• 46:48Bill Simmons?

  Any movie that came out over.

• 46:49Chris Ryan?

  I'll never see Jeff Goldblum the same.

• 46:50Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, true.

• 46:51Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 46:52Bill Simmons?

  I think Monsters Ball is the answer to all of this.

• 46:54Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 46:55Bill Simmons?

  It's what, it's, cuz we had that other category about worst thing to watch with your parent, with your in-laws.

• 47:01Chris Ryan?

  Hmm.

• 47:01Bill Simmons?

  That one was more, or when you're all going to the movies together.

• 47:04Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 47:05Bill Simmons?

  I think Monsters Ball wins all of this. It, it's, it checks all the boxes.

• 47:09Chris Ryan?

  Manchester by the Sea, tough first date, probably. Well, there's a difference between like, what's one that a woman will probably just be like this, you gotta be fucking kidding me with this versus something that's horrifying. Right, right. I guess this is more like Species. Hereditary and, and, and Manchester by the Sea, I think are like real bummers. Is Species a terrible first date movie? I don't know. Or is it not bad?

• 47:31Speaker 01

  It's tough when you have to really-

• 47:32Bill Simmons?

  No.

• 47:33Speaker 01

  Come over and have some ramen and watch Phoebe.

• 47:34Bill Simmons?

  You can't, cuz you can't really-

• 47:36Speaker 01

  This seems great.

• 47:37Bill Simmons?

  You can't be like, "How good, how good did Natasha Hentges look?" Like, that's immediately-

• 47:40Speaker 01

  The really gratuitous naked eighties movie scenes are tough.

• 47:44Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, when she's nailing Alfred Molina and you're like, "Hey, how about that? Pretty cool."

• 47:50Bill Simmons?

  You like that? I was trying to think of fights that I had after movies with people I was either dating or on a date with, or fights about the movie that, whatever. And one of them was I saw Chasing Amy with a girl I was dating in Boston a little bit. It was like, not really, weren't serious, but dating.

• 48:08Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 48:08Bill Simmons?

  And she liked the movie more than I did, and I really hated the ending. And we argued about it for an hour. It wasn't like angry arguing, but it made me like her less that she liked the ending so much.

• 48:18Chris Ryan?

  I missed that though.

• 48:18Bill Simmons?

  Because I was like, "That's fucking stupid."

• 48:19Chris Ryan?

  I feel like once you get to a certain age, you're just kinda like, "Did you like that?" And then it's like, "No." And I was like, "Hmm, alright." It's like, "I'm not gonna fight about it."

• 48:27Bill Simmons?

  I also saw Mad Love with Drew Barrymore and Chris O'Donnell, with a date, and they got choked up at the end, and I was like, "Wow." That, I can't believe you got choked up.

• 48:36Chris Ryan?

  Oh, I'm, it's now hitting me. One of the worst nights with my wife was seeing The Master. She really did not enjoy that movie.

• 48:45Bill Simmons?

  Oh, really?

• 48:45Chris Ryan?

  She was just like, "You have to be fucking kidding me." Like, "Why did you take me to that?"

• 48:52Bill Simmons?

  That is, The Master is probably the most polarizing good movie, cuz I don't like it either.

• 48:56Chris Ryan?

  You don't?

• 48:56Speaker 01

  Oh, I love that movie.

• 48:58Chris Ryan?

  I was just watching a clip from it the other day-

• 49:00Bill Simmons?

  I don't think that movie's a fun hang.

• 49:00Chris Ryan?

  And I was like, "I wonder if we would ever do that," but yeah.

• 49:04Bill Simmons?

  I respect it.

• 49:05Chris Ryan?

  Sure.

• 49:06Speaker 01

  What'd you think of Begonia? Did you see Begonia?

• 49:08Bill Simmons?

  I don't, I don't watch your goes anymore. He's lost my faith and trust.

• 49:12Chris Ryan?

  Me too, man. Sold my tickets.

• 49:13Speaker 01

  Really?

• 49:14Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 49:14Speaker 01

  You didn't watch Begonia either?

• 49:15Chris Ryan?

  I watched it, but I'm just like, I, I only watch them because they get nominated, and I'm just like, "I can't believe this."

• 49:22Bill Simmons?

  I don't like weird just to be weird. I think there's a line.

• 49:26Chris Ryan?

  I don't actually think it's that weird, and that's part of the problem.

• 49:29Speaker 01

  If you just look, oh, interesting.

• 49:31Bill Simmons?

  Oh, yeah, he's trying to be weird, but it's actually not, yeah, interesting.

• 49:34Speaker 01

  I think the statement the movie's trying to make, I'm less interested in that. I think it's better if you just look at it as, is this woman an alien movie? I think in that respect, it's really good.

• 49:43Bill Simmons?

  Nick, that's all he gave us. He has a category to it. Every watchable podcast fantasy is on, he gives a criterion level of fact that's either 100% true or is completely made up, and then we have to guess.

• 49:56Chris Ryan?

  Oh, Two Truths and a Lie with Sean Fennessey?

• 49:58Speaker 01

  That's good.

• 49:58Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, it's pretty good.

• 50:00Chris Ryan?

  It's good.

• 50:00Speaker 01

  I would believe it every time.

• 50:04Bill Simmons?

  And there's some sort of reward punishment. If we guess correctly more than wrong, Fennessey has to do a Forrest Gump impression, uttering the line, "I think I ruined your roommate's bathrobe."

• 50:18Bill Simmons?

  He'd be like, "Fuck that, I'm not doing that."

• 50:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:21Chris Ryan?

  Or maybe if we get Sean, if like Sean ever gets caught 10 times, he has to do a repatsables with you, where you just talk to him.

• 50:29Bill Simmons?

  Just talk about Brady.

• 50:30Chris Ryan?

  For an hour and a half about pass games.

• 50:33Bill Simmons?

  Maybe we get to five, and if, if guess yes versus guess no, there's some sort of either punishment or reward.

• 50:40Chris Ryan?

  Punishment or reward, yeah.

• 50:41Bill Simmons?

  All right, this is from KB in Colorado. Is Ryan Gosling hosting SNL, the Hollywood equivalent of LeBron, entering the dunk contest? Gosling, A-list actor, top of his profession, goes on SNL, fully commits, willingness to risk looking uncool, endears him to fans, not fans, elevates his brand, just same. I picked this just for Craig, because I know Craig loves Gosling.

• 51:02Speaker 01

  And SNL.

• 51:03Bill Simmons?

  I know the comparison is an apple to apples. I wish more NBA stars would do this. And then he said, is Gosling this generation's best current host of SNL? He's putting together a strong resume. Is he flirting with Mount Rushmore? Or is that still set in stone?

• 51:15Speaker 01

  I do think he's the best right now. I think he's at the top of the mountain for SNL hosts.

• 51:18Bill Simmons?

  He's the best last 10 years.

• 51:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:19Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 51:20Speaker 01

  I think he definitely is. It's his, it's his willing to commit. It's not that he does SNL, because a lot of people do it. It's that he's willing to just look like an idiot and do whatever they want.

• 51:28Chris Ryan?

  It's just such a good move. He, I can't think of somebody who's better. Like, I mean, was the Shalhoub episode?

• 51:34Speaker 01

  Shalhoub is good. I think he's in.

• 51:35Bill Simmons?

  Shalhoub is good. Emma Stone's really good.

• 51:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:38Bill Simmons?

  It's it's kind of a litmus test in some ways to what kind of actor you are. Cause the ones that can pop on SNL and just ride with anything.

• 51:45Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 51:45Bill Simmons?

  It's probably part of why they're such a good actor.

• 51:48Chris Ryan?

  It's just willing to not take yourself too seriously. The Gosling SNL that he just did, the whole opening monologue was basically dedicated to how hot Harry Styles was. And he didn't, and like the fact that he was willing to do that.

• 51:57Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 51:58Chris Ryan?

  Shows why he's so great.

• 52:01Bill Simmons?

  It's a weird one from Tim in Los Angeles. It's for, it's a question for conspiracy bill. He said in nineties crime movies, it's your wheelhouse.

• 52:10Chris Ryan?

  Sure.

• 52:11Bill Simmons?

  Cell phones are basically James Harden in the playoffs. The second someone uses one, it's they're listening, dump it, get to a play phone, the smart criminals always go analog. Here's the thing, I don't think that was just a storytelling crutch. I think big phone lobbied Hollywood hard to make early cell phones feel insecure and traceable.

• 52:29Chris Ryan?

  Hmm.

• 52:29Bill Simmons?

  Slow down cellphone adoption, keep landlines and payphones alive a few more years, product placement in reverse. All that cell phones taught us was you're getting caught. That's not nothing, I'm saying it happened.

• 52:44Bill Simmons?

  Really interesting.

• 52:45Chris Ryan?

  He thinks that like AT and, well, who would, who would, what would big felt like the tel- the telecom companies?

• 52:50Speaker 01

  But don't those companies also own the cell phones?

• 52:54Bill Simmons?

  That's where the conspiracy falls apart.

• 52:56Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, cause you have to get a plan and they were usually with the companies that, except for like, I guess there was a few that didn't.

• 53:02Speaker 01

  I like where his head's at, though.

• 53:04Bill Simmons?

  Where did, what happened in crime movies when it's like get to a payphone? And you give the guy the number, that's kind of gone now, cause we don't have payphones. So how do people communicate on Signal?

• 53:14Chris Ryan?

  Do you feel like your phones are gonna come back or any version of untraceable communication? Yeah.

• 53:20Bill Simmons?

  I mean, if Blu-rays could come back, anything's possible.

• 53:22Chris Ryan?

  I just don't think people really call that much, you know what I mean? Like, it's like you call your loved ones and you get phone calls from like spam, but like, do you, do you just like blind call Bill to ask him a question?

• 53:33Speaker 01

  We're just learning now that, I mean, obviously emails come back. I think texts, ten, ten years from now, we're gonna think of texts the way that we're thinking of emails now. And it's like, people have got to figure out ways to talk that's not traceable.

• 53:45Bill Simmons?

  I call Craig sometimes just to freak him out, think something happened, but I'm just calling to be like, yo.

• 53:50Chris Ryan?

  You called me when I was in Indianapolis and I was like, oh no. You'll do, you have a, it's like the, the random bill call that you're like, oh, oh no. And then it's like, Bankaro.

• 54:01Bill Simmons?

  I don't love it.

• 54:02Chris Ryan?

  When I was in Indianapolis.

• 54:03Bill Simmons?

  I like to be a positive force in people's lives.

• 54:05Chris Ryan?

  I was at dinner, Bill calls me, I leave to go step outside, I answer and he goes, "You're gonna love CR's Zane Lowe impression on today's pod."

• 54:13Bill Simmons?

  That literally happened. That was true. You stepped out, you thought there was an emergency. Okay. This is, this is, this plane has to take off and fly in the air for a couple of seconds, but it lands really well.

• 54:26Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 54:27Bill Simmons?

  It's from Cullen L. Cullen, I don't think we've had a Cullen before. Cullen, little rare name. You've been talking about rewatching Game of Thrones in the sauna. I do it every two years or so. I'm always caught off guard in season five, episode five, when Jorah and Tyrion's captors just casually mention that they would sell Tyrion to a cock merchant.

• 54:50Bill Simmons?

  That got me thinking about how one goes about becoming a cock merchant. Did you graduate in a bad economy, unemployment rate is high, and it's hard to find a job? Just hate chopping dicks, do it all for the paycheck, telling people it's temporary. Cut to 25 years later, you're senior director of Dorfcocks with thinning hair and a beer belly, wondering where your life went. That made me think.

• 55:11Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 55:12Bill Simmons?

  About what other movies just casually introduce a character with a, "Holy shit, how is that a job job?" Like the dude in Minority Report who just sells new eyeballs to Tom Cruise.

• 55:21Chris Ryan?

  Good one.

• 55:22Bill Simmons?

  Bet that guy's life didn't turn out the way he expected.

• 55:24Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 55:25Bill Simmons?

  Anyway, I think you should consider the cock merchant, how the hell is that a job category?

• 55:29Chris Ryan?

  That's a disgraced surgeon, right? That's our boy Stormor.

• 55:32Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 55:32Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 55:34Bill Simmons?

  I'd really like the, how is this a job job?

• 55:37Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 55:37Bill Simmons?

  Category. I think that's really strong. Cock merchant.

• 55:42Chris Ryan?

  Cock merchant's really good.

• 55:44Bill Simmons?

  We've never, usually for rewatchable categories, we have movies in the award, not television shows. So we'd really have to bend it on this one.

• 55:52Chris Ryan?

  Yeah. I'm trying, I'm just trying to scan through my head and think of like, of like, characters in like, Goodfellas who had bad jobs or something like that, but it's, it's, it's, it's got a lot of legs.

• 56:01Bill Simmons?

  I mean, it's tough to top eyeball reseller.

• 56:04Chris Ryan?

  Sure.

• 56:05Bill Simmons?

  In the future.

• 56:09Chris Ryan?

  How about, I mean, Milic in Eyes Wide Shut doing a 24-hour costume shop? Where he also pimps out family members?

• 56:20Bill Simmons?

  Actually, now that we're talking about this, the Joaquin Phoenix in 8mm.

• 56:25Chris Ryan?

  Oh, yeah.

• 56:26Bill Simmons?

  Just working in the adult film store and seeing things that you can't unsee and knowing like the dark world.

• 56:31Chris Ryan?

  Ruth from To Live and Die.

• 56:33Bill Simmons?

  Maybe just go work at like a Subway?

• 56:34Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, working at a topless bar and also acting as a snitch.

• 56:39Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 56:40Chris Ryan?

  The guy in Ace Ventura.

• 56:41Bill Simmons?

  Ruth of the Rat.

• 56:42Chris Ryan?

  The old man in Ace Ventura, whose only job is like tracking whale locations in that room?

• 56:47Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 56:47Chris Ryan?

  In the concert venue?

• 56:49Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, this is good. I bet people have more ideas too. Um, this is from Casey in Washington DC. The Bill Simmons Watching TV on Blast Through Sona Glass Award for the most ridiculous behavior in the movie. Think Al Pacino giving me all you got, or Tom Cruise being drunk, or Nicolas Cage being, singing Halloween, Face Off. Um, but here's his big question. If you could do a rewatch of those with Tom Cruise, which movie would you want to do with him if it was his movie?

• 57:15Chris Ryan?

  Ooh.

• 57:17Bill Simmons?

  I have a choice, but I'm interested in your takes.

• 57:19Chris Ryan?

  Depends on how.

• 57:20Bill Simmons?

  Craig would do Traffic Thunder, just so we could do Traffic Thunder.

• 57:23Chris Ryan?

  100%. You would do, I know what you would say. I would do Eyes Wide Shut. I just want to know everything about it. I would want to know everything about like what it was like.

• 57:30Bill Simmons?

  Fucking great choice.

• 57:31Chris Ryan?

  If she, if he was gonna be like, it's all on the table, let's go. Like, me and Nicole, me and Stanley, did Stanley get killed before the movie comes out? Like, I'll talk about anything. I would probably be that.

• 57:43Bill Simmons?

  So maybe it's two versions of Cruise. It's everything's on the table, we have no secrets Cruise, it's Eyes Wide Shut.

• 57:49Chris Ryan?

  Yes.

• 57:50Bill Simmons?

  If it's the Cruise, the public figure Cruise that we know, it's gotta be Cocktail.

• 57:55Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 57:57Bill Simmons?

  It just has to be.

• 57:59Chris Ryan?

  What do you think his recall for the making of Cocktail is at this point in his life? Like, can you?

• 58:04Bill Simmons?

  I mean, he's an alien. He's never drank. He has all his brain cells.

• 58:08Chris Ryan?

  I want to know which Tom Cruise skill he's held on to the most. Oh, that's a great question.

• 58:13Bill Simmons?

  That's in the Cocktail Pod, you would make him flip the bottle, see if he could do it.

• 58:16Chris Ryan?

  Is he still good at pool from Color of Money? But he would probably be like, I can actually fly a jet and you guys want me to make a dark and stormy? Like, that's, like, who gives a shit? You know? I mean, if you could do one activity with Tom Cruise, what is it?

• 58:31Bill Simmons?

  Play pool.

• 58:33Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 58:34Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 58:36Bill Simmons?

  Or I'd want to bartend.

• 58:37Chris Ryan?

  You'd want to bartend with him?

• 58:38Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 58:38Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 58:39Bill Simmons?

  Hey, there's an opening at TJ Fridays today, TC.

• 58:42Chris Ryan?

  I'd like to give him sets in volleyball and just see what happens.

• 58:46Speaker 01

  I want to dance with him to Lil' Jon.

• 58:51Bill Simmons?

  I'd also want to incorporate Joe House in it somehow because House has the rare ability to just be able to immediately befriend and hang out with everybody.

• 58:58Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 58:58Bill Simmons?

  And give somebody a nickname. So it's like almost immediately like TC, what's up, motherfucker? And just like Tom Cruise would love it. Um, all right.

• 59:09Bill Simmons?

  Shots fired in this email from Tyler. He is, he signed this Tyler on an ice road crew.

• 59:15Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 59:15Bill Simmons?

  Not sure what that means.

• 59:16Chris Ryan?

  It means he's probably driving on ice roads.

• 59:19Bill Simmons?

  I didn't know if it was a stealth rewatchables reference from something we did on an ice road. Who knows? Would this movie be worse with dot, dot, dot? Like how we do with Hanks and Cruise, the reverse. Easily only one choice for each sex and blatantly obvious, it would be Jared Leto and Dakota Johnson.

• 59:41Bill Simmons?

  I was yelling in my tractor for Craig to be a man and name them, but obviously someone has gotten to him too. When did we talk about this?

• 59:48Chris Ryan?

  Would this movie be worse with Jared Leto or Dakota Johnson?

• 59:51Bill Simmons?

  I think that's pretty funny.

• 59:52Chris Ryan?

  Where are you at with Dakota?

• 59:55Bill Simmons?

  I personally really like her. She's been in, her batting average is, she's under the Mendoza line.

• 1:00:01Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, it's.

• 1:00:03Bill Simmons?

  I personally like her.

• 1:00:04Chris Ryan?

  It's pretty rare to have like this amount of turkeys, I guess. But I, I do find myself fascinated by her.

• 1:00:11Speaker 01

  I agree. I like her as a personality, I think, more than I do the movie she's in.

• 1:00:14Chris Ryan?

  She's a better like talk show guest than she is like.

• 1:00:16Bill Simmons?

  I loved when she flipped it on Ellen. I felt like that started the Ellen DeGeneres turn.

• 1:00:20Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:20Bill Simmons?

  When she was like, I did invite you, you didn't respond or whatever, whatever that whole thing was. Jared Leto, I just don't like.

• 1:00:28Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:29Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I root against him. First of all, any actor who then also tries to shove his band down your throat, I just, my guard's up.

• 1:00:37Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:00:37Bill Simmons?

  Right away with those guys.

• 1:00:39Speaker 01

  Who are the best actors that are in a popular band?

• 1:00:42Chris Ryan?

  Keanu, oh, in a popular band? I mean, Dog Star is like, Billy Bob is a big, like, my band. Like, my band is real busy this year, so Landman may have to wait a while, like.

• 1:00:53Bill Simmons?

  James Dolan is the best. Also, here's my band.

• 1:00:56Chris Ryan?

  J D, Straight Shot.

• 1:00:57Speaker 01

  Also, here's my band.

• 1:00:58Bill Simmons?

  He has like these, like, some of the best jazz musicians in the country. He overpays to do his backup band. Want to take a break? Can I have a big question coming up?

• 1:01:05Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:01:05Bill Simmons?

  Okay.

• 1:01:07Speaker 03

  Hey, Spotify listeners. When you travel with American Airlines, you'll enjoy comfort and convenience at every altitude. Before takeoff, unwind in the Admirals Club Lounge with curated self-serve offerings of hearty bites and refreshments. In flight, stay connected with high-speed Wi-Fi, sponsored by AT&T. Your journey is designed to feel easy from the moment you check in to the moment you arrive. No matter where you're going, American gets you there. Book now at aa.com.

• 1:01:33Speaker 04

  What's the secret to being a great host this season? Keeping things deliciously simple, like mixing Simply Cranberry into a festive drink as guests arrive, or serving up a warm mug of Simply Apple on a chilly night. That means less time behind the scenes and more time in the moment with everyone. Crafted with real fruit, Simply juices and fruit drinks make any holiday drink effortless, inviting, and completely delicious. Simply, say yes to simple.

• 1:02:03Bill Simmons?

  All right, this is from Josh from Vegas via Albany. And he said in print, says, yes, that's a real thing.

• 1:02:11Bill Simmons?

  Building a rewatchable as extended movie universe Hall of Fame pyramid, like I did with the Book of Basketball. Who are the level one guys? Who's on top? Who are the role players? I feel like this could at least be a good mailbag bit. You're correct. So I was thinking about this. I put some time into this one. I sent this one to you guys. If we did, like, you do it every year, right? Like how the NBA, they have like, this year's inductees. So we did the first ballot.

• 1:02:37Bill Simmons?

  The pantheon would have to be the five people that have been in the most rewatchable movies. I think that'd be a fair way to do it, which is Cruise seventeen, Pacino fourteen, De Niro thirteen, Denzel twelve, Stallone twelve.

• 1:02:47Chris Ryan?

  Yes.

• 1:02:48Bill Simmons?

  So those would be our first inductee for the pantheon. I think you'd have the following four directors, Spielberg nine, Tony Scott nine, Michael Mann eight, Scorsese eight, for, you put those four in.

• 1:03:02Bill Simmons?

  Special achievement.

• 1:03:03Chris Ryan?

  Hmm.

• 1:03:05Bill Simmons?

  Steven Seagal brought us a lot of joy.

• 1:03:08Chris Ryan?

  Sure.

• 1:03:09Bill Simmons?

  Rene Russo, just killing the nineties, showing up over and over again. She's been in seven rewatchables movies.

• 1:03:15Chris Ryan?

  Oh, my god.

• 1:03:17Bill Simmons?

  Philip Seymour Hoffman.

• 1:03:18Chris Ryan?

  Hmm, mhm. Got his own category, uh, Berthold.

• 1:03:22Bill Simmons?

  How, how's the peeping?

• 1:03:27Bill Simmons?

  How's the peeping? Uh, I had-

• 1:03:30Chris Ryan?

  You know what PSH scene I just keep watching over and over again? Mission Impossible three.

• 1:03:36Bill Simmons?

  You think I won't do it?

• 1:03:40Bill Simmons?

  Um, so special achievement, would you put Berthold in there for what he meant to the rewatchables? I feel like he gets in.

• 1:03:46Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:48Bill Simmons?

  I think Julia Roberts gets in. She's second most female rewatchables, plus, um, Pretty Woman was one of the funniest pods we had and, I don't know, she's just popped in different decades.

• 1:04:00Chris Ryan?

  In special achievement or just in?

• 1:04:03Bill Simmons?

  I was thinking special achievement, but you could also just save her for Hall of Fame. Um, is there anybody else you would do for special achievement?

• 1:04:13Chris Ryan?

  I would, I mean, if you just want to use people who have been, I think like Philip Baker Hall, for instance, deserves recognition as a role player for his role, I think he's been in like-

• 1:04:22Bill Simmons?

  So I had him in the next category for the that guy category.

• 1:04:25Chris Ryan?

  Yeah. But he's also in The Imitations for a while.

• 1:04:29Bill Simmons?

  Oh, true.

• 1:04:31Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:31Bill Simmons?

  Who else did we do for Imitations? We had Wayne.

• 1:04:34Chris Ryan?

  Robert Loggia, Andy Garcia, Philip Baker Hall, un, un, Pete Poselway.

• 1:04:41Bill Simmons?

  I, I'd say Loggia's gotta be in.

• 1:04:43Chris Ryan?

  Loggia's in.

• 1:04:43Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, Loggia, cause he also is in Big. All right, so special achievement, Seagal, Russo, Hoffman, Loggia, would you have a fifth?

• 1:04:52Chris Ryan?

  Oh.

• 1:04:54Bill Simmons?

  Karen from Goodfellas.

• 1:04:56Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:56Bill Simmons?

  Lorraine Bracco.

• 1:04:57Chris Ryan?

  Yes.

• 1:04:57Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, Bracco's in. Okay, that's five. The That Guy Award. These are all graduated That Guys, but Joey Pants, John Carroll Lynch, who was in three and four at one point.

• 1:05:09Chris Ryan?

  What a run for him.

• 1:05:10Bill Simmons?

  I think Catherine O'Hara has to be in there because she's been in a bunch of different ones. We've done different characters and Remar.

• 1:05:17Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:18Bill Simmons?

  We've talked about Remar. And then would you put Baker Hall as the fifth?

• 1:05:21Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, I think he's probably actually also been secretly in like 10 rewatchables. We just haven't really counted it out.

• 1:05:27Speaker 01

  I know. We need to find our Robert Horry, who's actually been in the most rewatchables movies. Is it Cruise with 17 or is there somebody who's actually been in more?

• 1:05:34Bill Simmons?

  I looked this up. Nobody's been in over 10.

• 1:05:36Chris Ryan?

  Do you know how many Hoffman movies we've done? How many PSH movies?

• 1:05:39Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, it's seven or eight.

• 1:05:40Chris Ryan?

  Wow.

• 1:05:41Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:41Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:41Bill Simmons?

  And there's some left.

• 1:05:42Chris Ryan?

  Oh, yeah. I mean, there's some that I would just put in just for him.

• 1:05:45Bill Simmons?

  So then I have.

• 1:05:47Chris Ryan?

  Like Charlie Wilson's War or something.

• 1:05:49Bill Simmons?

  Throw Your Life Away, Roller Girl, Catherine Chalamet, Edie Faulk on Copland and Robin Givens in Boomerang.

• 1:05:55Chris Ryan?

  Oh, there's, I can think of a bunch of other ones.

• 1:05:57Bill Simmons?

  But I would, this is the first class.

• 1:05:58Chris Ryan?

  Demornay from Risky Business.

• 1:06:01Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, might have to add her. We have room for one more.

• 1:06:03Chris Ryan?

  For that one.

• 1:06:04Bill Simmons?

  Room for one more. I mean, he literally did throw his life away. All right, we'll add Demornay. Risky Business, unless you want to do Species. I don't care if I die at the end of this sexual encounter.

• 1:06:18Speaker 01

  I mean, certainly. She should probably be in there. I mean, let's be honest.

• 1:06:23Chris Ryan?

  A bunch of guys did throw their lives away for her.

• 1:06:25Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, that's.

• 1:06:26Speaker 01

  Who do you like from Fletch?

• 1:06:29Chris Ryan?

  Oh, Dana Wheeler Nicholson. Yeah.

• 1:06:32Bill Simmons?

  That could be another category, most polarizing arguments we've had on the podcast. Sean just being, just laughing us down.

• 1:06:39Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:39Bill Simmons?

  For an hour and a half.

• 1:06:40Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, like, forget that.

• 1:06:42Speaker 01

  I mean, I would throw Courtney Cox from Ace Ventura in there, but.

• 1:06:45Bill Simmons?

  Ooh. Can add that as well, just a Craig pick.

• 1:06:48Speaker 01

  We're just naming hot women in movies now.

• 1:06:50Bill Simmons?

  And then last one. This is the big one, the Dion Waiters first class. So I did some work on this. Ted Levine's Silence of the Lambs.

• 1:06:59Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:02Bill Simmons?

  She, she great big fat person. Um, Catherine Han and Step Brothers.

• 1:07:07Chris Ryan?

  Uh huh.

• 1:07:07Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 1:07:08Bill Simmons?

  We did like fifteen minutes on how good she was in that movie.

• 1:07:11Chris Ryan?

  We did that a while ago.

• 1:07:12Bill Simmons?

  She's so fucking funny in that movie.

• 1:07:13Chris Ryan?

  We should re-step.

• 1:07:14Speaker 01

  That was like twenty seventeen. I wasn't doing the show then.

• 1:07:17Bill Simmons?

  Are you sure?

• 1:07:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, I wasn't there, I don't think.

• 1:07:19Chris Ryan?

  Who did you do it with? Did we do it?

• 1:07:20Bill Simmons?

  I don't remember. I don't remember anything anymore. It might have been me, you and Sean.

• 1:07:26Chris Ryan?

  Maybe?

• 1:07:26Speaker 01

  Let me see when that was.

• 1:07:28Bill Simmons?

  She's amazing in that movie.

• 1:07:29Chris Ryan?

  So good. Did we do like, like, I feel like we talked about the Catalina Wine Cooler for like twenty-five minutes.

• 1:07:35Speaker 01

  Uh, it was the U2 and Sean, July twenty eighteen, which is the week I got hired.

• 1:07:40Bill Simmons?

  Wow, so we could probably do that as a live show.

• 1:07:44Bill Simmons?

  Cyrus and the Warriors.

• 1:07:46Chris Ryan?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:07:47Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:07:48Bill Simmons?

  Christopher Walken with the combo, pulp and true romance?

• 1:07:52Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:52Bill Simmons?

  I think he won for both, right?

• 1:07:54Chris Ryan?

  Yes.

• 1:07:55Bill Simmons?

  And then Clemenza and the Godfather, who we talked about for a while.

• 1:07:58Chris Ryan?

  We did.

• 1:07:59Bill Simmons?

  Just five scenes, just absolutely annihilating all of them.

• 1:08:02Speaker 01

  Does Christoph Waltz count from Inglourious Basterds?

• 1:08:05Chris Ryan?

  No, he's, he's like, he's in too much.

• 1:08:06Bill Simmons?

  He's in it too much.

• 1:08:07Chris Ryan?

  He's like the star of the movie.

• 1:08:08Bill Simmons?

  Cause the other one is, I, initially I thought Melissa McCarthy in Bridesmaids.

• 1:08:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:08:12Bill Simmons?

  One of the funniest performances of all time, but she's in it too much. She's like a star of the movie.

• 1:08:16Speaker 01

  Ensemble, yeah.

• 1:08:16Bill Simmons?

  That's why Catherine Han's on like four scenes, just like absolutely destroying everything.

• 1:08:20Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:21Bill Simmons?

  In all of them. But I think it's those four. There's probably some other ones. Oh, and, uh, McBride and This Is the End.

• 1:08:27Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:08:27Chris Ryan?

  Oh my god.

• 1:08:28Bill Simmons?

  Is he in it too much?

• 1:08:29Chris Ryan?

  He's in it for the first half of the movie, right?

• 1:08:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's maybe in it too much.

• 1:08:33Chris Ryan?

  Oh, no, wait, it's more like the second, third, where he shows up after.

• 1:08:35Speaker 01

  The whole night happens and then he wakes up. But he's probably there for a good thirty minutes.

• 1:08:39Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:39Speaker 01

  I don't know. It's tough.

• 1:08:40Chris Ryan?

  Michael Cera in This Is the End would be mine.

• 1:08:43Speaker 01

  Ooh, yeah.

• 1:08:44Bill Simmons?

  Would there, oh, that's a good, I think he won, actually.

• 1:08:48Speaker 01

  He had to have, slapping Rihanna's ass.

• 1:08:49Bill Simmons?

  Cause we did, we probably decided McBride was in it too much.

• 1:08:52Speaker 01

  Blowing coke in people's face.

• 1:08:54Bill Simmons?

  Is there any other category you would put in for the Hall of Fame?

• 1:08:58Bill Simmons?

  I think we should just make, we should actually really put more time into this and then like announce it on some

• 1:09:03Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 1:09:04Bill Simmons?

  special pod and have like plaques and stuff.

• 1:09:06Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, that would be good.

• 1:09:07Bill Simmons?

  But is there another category that should be in there? I think those are the basics.

• 1:09:10Chris Ryan?

  No, those are the big ones. I mean, I think Apex Mountain is so open for debate about what it is, kind of like it's hard to put it in.

• 1:09:16Bill Simmons?

  We didn't have bargain, yeah, it would be too confusing. Cause I was thinking, could villain be in there? But.

• 1:09:23Chris Ryan?

  Oh, Hans Gruber villain?

• 1:09:25Speaker 01

  You could do Apex Mountain by year. Like who, who has 1984, who has 1985, who has 1986?

• 1:09:32Bill Simmons?

  I was thinking, cause we, we did, uh, we have nice guys coming. And Gosling was in that and La La Land same year. That, my case for that, they should name for the Oscars an MVP of the year.

• 1:09:45Chris Ryan?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:09:45Bill Simmons?

  Either somebody that just completely, the performance was so unbelievable, they own the year, or somebody that had multiple movies.

• 1:09:51Chris Ryan?

  I would love to go back through, I mean, there's like the Spielberg, there's a couple Spielberg years where he does.

• 1:09:55Bill Simmons?

  Two movies in the same year?

• 1:09:56Chris Ryan?

  Schindler's and stuff.

• 1:09:57Bill Simmons?

  And that's the thing, the MVP can be director, actor, actress, anything.

• 1:10:01Chris Ryan?

  Cinematographer even, you know?

• 1:10:02Speaker 01

  I mean, we talked about Carrie in 94 doing Dumb and Dumber.

• 1:10:05Bill Simmons?

  Carrie Winslow.

• 1:10:05Speaker 01

  The Mask and A Surtur.

• 1:10:07Bill Simmons?

  He's, it's like, it's like unanimous vote, like they're almost like.

• 1:10:09Chris Ryan?

  And if you go back earlier to like the seventies and eighties, there are times when people put up like three, four movies that are pretty good. You know, like Redford, Hoffman, De Niro years.

• 1:10:18Speaker 01

  Didn't Soderbergh get nominated for best director for two different movies in the same year?

• 1:10:21Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, Traffic and Aaron Brockovich, right?

• 1:10:23Speaker 01

  I mean, that's.

• 1:10:24Chris Ryan?

  No, wait. Yeah, that was it, right?

• 1:10:26Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:26Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:29Bill Simmons?

  Tom K in Tucson, he wants us to flirt with an, uh, unwatchables month. And he mentioned, we have to do Gili, the Ben Affleck anti-classic.

• 1:10:41Speaker 01

  Is, is that a, is that a rock bottom? The opposite of Apex Mountain, Gili?

• 1:10:45Bill Simmons?

  That's his nadir mountain. He's, he mentions how Affleck's critical to the pod, which is true, we love Affleck. The Hangover's Justin Bartha submits a nuclear holocaust of a Rain Man impression.

• 1:10:55Chris Ryan?

  Oh, that's great.

• 1:10:56Bill Simmons?

  That his career somehow survived. Two big name cameos in the film, including Al Pacino. Um, and then he suggested unwatchables month, Gili, Rocky V, Battlefield Earth, Freddy Got Fingered and Catwoman. We get a lot of requests for Catwoman because it's really truly one of the worst movies ever made.

• 1:11:14Speaker 01

  Is that the Halle Berry one?

• 1:11:14Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:15Speaker 01

  There's also.

• 1:11:16Bill Simmons?

  There's a crazy basketball scene in that movie that's like, I don't know, can't even describe it.

• 1:11:20Chris Ryan?

  I've never seen that.

• 1:11:21Bill Simmons?

  But I'm sure Dan has some thoughts on that.

• 1:11:22Chris Ryan?

  We've kind of lost the art of making real stinkers because now they're more like superhero movies or sci fi movies that you're watching, but usually superhero movies where I'm like, I can't believe they let this, like, they put this out.

• 1:11:33Speaker 01

  Well, it's funny because right now there kind of is one of those in The Bride.

• 1:11:37Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, but there are a bunch of people who think The Bride's awesome.

• 1:11:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:39Chris Ryan?

  Or The Bride is like a brave step, you know?

• 1:11:41Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I like the bride zagger.

• 1:11:43Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:44Bill Simmons?

  They're like, you guys didn't understand.

• 1:11:46Speaker 01

  Like, we had cats, I guess.

• 1:11:48Chris Ryan?

  Oh, yeah. The Taylor Swift cats.

• 1:11:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:50Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:52Bill Simmons?

  Drew S. writes, what do you think about adding a flex category for the Ted Levine Buffalo Bill Award for performance so good and distinct it damaged the actor's career? Retroactive winners include Billy Zabka in Karate Kid, Patrick Bergen in Sleeping with the Enemy, and even though Chris Maloney and J.K. Simmons had strong careers, you can never unwatch their characters in Oz. Wayne Gro to me is the ultimate example of this.

• 1:12:15Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, I don't even know.

• 1:12:15Bill Simmons?

  Well, I couldn't even see Wayne Gro again after he.

• 1:12:17Chris Ryan?

  I mean, I think he's even now leaning it, like, he did the Mulaney Show where he just came out as Wayne Gro. I mean, it's like, you just kind of have to.

• 1:12:23Bill Simmons?

  This is a good flex category for if there's a movie where it's so clearly.

• 1:12:27Chris Ryan?

  It's basically like, are you gonna be signing autographs at conventions for the next 30 years as this character?

• 1:12:32Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:33Speaker 01

  It's the typecast award, I guess, right? Kind of? Because it happens, we see it in TV all the time. It's like Jason Alexander was George.

• 1:12:40Chris Ryan?

  But it's more disturbing, right?

• 1:12:42Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, it's like, the performance was so distinct that you can't unsee the performance from the character.

• 1:12:48Chris Ryan?

  But it's like Patrick Bergen is like a good example.

• 1:12:50Bill Simmons?

  That's a perfect one. He was a good actor, but Sleeping with the Enemy, you're just seeing him going, Laura!

• 1:12:57Bill Simmons?

  And he's just so crazy and evil, you're like, he actually has to be crazy and evil. There's no way he's acting.

• 1:13:02Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:03Bill Simmons?

  That's a really tough line to cross. Wayne Gro, same thing.

• 1:13:05Chris Ryan?

  Uh, Frank Nitti in The Untouchables.

• 1:13:08Bill Simmons?

  Hmm.

• 1:13:09Chris Ryan?

  I can't remember that actor's name, but it's like.

• 1:13:11Bill Simmons?

  The bad guy?

• 1:13:11Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:12Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:12Chris Ryan?

  The guy in the white suit, I would just be like, I'm going to the other side of the street.

• 1:13:15Bill Simmons?

  For Jeff, it's Goldblum in Death Wish.

• 1:13:18Bill Simmons?

  He watches the big show, he's.

• 1:13:20Speaker 01

  Man, this is a great category. There's so many that I want to go back and look at.

• 1:13:24Chris Ryan?

  Like the role that haunts you, the role that haunts the actor.

• 1:13:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:13:27Bill Simmons?

  This is a nerdy one from Ron in Florida. He's a tax lawyer. He said in 82, Congress packs passed the Tax Equity and Fiscal Responsibility Act, which made bearer bonds very expensive for companies to issue, and are very rare to see after the mid 80s. That's why you don't see bearer bonds anymore. And he, and he can look past it for some post 82 movies like Beverly's Cop, maybe even Die Hard. But when we get to Heat and Panic Room, no fucking way, basically, he's saying.

• 1:13:53Chris Ryan?

  They're just out of circulation.

• 1:13:54Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. He's like, he's like Roger Van Zandt is not carrying around 1.6 million in bonds. We'll pass their maturity date. Come on.

• 1:14:02Speaker 01

  Okay. We'll tell Michael Mann.

• 1:14:05Bill Simmons?

  Matt Hennessy suggests the Dave Toshky Animal Crackers Award for most niche taste or interest exhibited by a main character in a movie.

• 1:14:14Chris Ryan?

  Jesus.

• 1:14:15Bill Simmons?

  This is good. Floyd Gondally's penchant for backdoor lollipops, he mentions.

• 1:14:20Chris Ryan?

  Did you just do it again? Gondally?

• 1:14:23Bill Simmons?

  Floyd Gondally.

• 1:14:24Chris Ryan?

  Gondoly.

• 1:14:24Bill Simmons?

  Gondoly?

• 1:14:25Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:25Bill Simmons?

  Did it.

• 1:14:26Speaker 01

  Challenge flag.

• 1:14:26Bill Simmons?

  Corey Flag. You need the flag.

• 1:14:29Chris Ryan?

  Don't take.

• 1:14:30Bill Simmons?

  Reynolds Woodcock's fondness for poisoned mushrooms and phantom threads.

• 1:14:34Chris Ryan?

  Sure.

• 1:14:35Bill Simmons?

  Steve Carell's character in Little Miss Sunshine being the prominent press scholar in America. And then Neil McCauley in metals. It's pretty good.

• 1:14:43Speaker 01

  Or like Malkovich in Rounders liking Oreos.

• 1:14:46Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:47Speaker 01

  Is that not niche enough?

• 1:14:48Bill Simmons?

  I think this goes into Flag.

• 1:14:49Chris Ryan?

  Jennifer Lopez Dolphins fan in Out of Sight. And it's not niche. I mean, she's from Miami, but it's still like, is like absolutely mind blowing. She just walks out wearing a Marino jersey. Yeah.

• 1:15:02Bill Simmons?

  What's, what's fantasy's version of this?

• 1:15:04Speaker 01

  It's like, what's his name in To Live and Die in L.A. wearing the Steelers max?

• 1:15:09Bill Simmons?

  The Mike Wester jersey.

• 1:15:13Bill Simmons?

  What's fantasy's most niche taste?

• 1:15:15Chris Ryan?

  Like as a human being?

• 1:15:16Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:17Chris Ryan?

  I think it's almost the reverse of his no white condiments thing. Is that a thing?

• 1:15:22Bill Simmons?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:15:23Chris Ryan?

  Like no ranch, no mayo?

• 1:15:24Bill Simmons?

  Nope.

• 1:15:25Chris Ryan?

  Although he does cheat with aioli sometimes, but he doesn't like any white condiments. Is it bec- like, why? Is it, he just happens to not like condiments that are white?

• 1:15:32Bill Simmons?

  Honestly, don't even know. It's such a good answer, and it's, it's, it's great. It's so fantasy. Like, really hates mayonnaise.

• 1:15:39Chris Ryan?

  Oh, no, no milk, no white condiments. Oh, no milk?

• 1:15:41Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 1:15:43Chris Ryan?

  Wow.

• 1:15:43Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Doesn't like half and half.

• 1:15:44Chris Ryan?

  Mayo's great. You need mayo on a sandwich.

• 1:15:48Bill Simmons?

  Uh, Rob Kasher actually convinced me to change a category.

• 1:15:52Chris Ryan?

  Oh.

• 1:15:52Bill Simmons?

  And he said he's a huge fan of the show. He's been on the ride since the Page Two days. But he said it's a terrible job by me with the Elizabeth Shue Award. She's highly educated. She went to Wellesley and Harvard. And she radiates intelligence in most of her work. I can't disagree. Her being cast as an astrophysicist is perfectly credible in the same. At least by Hollywood standards. It does not feel like she was cast because she was simply hot. Obviously, the award needs to be the Denise Richards as nuclear physicist, Christmas Jones, award.

• 1:16:22Chris Ryan?

  Sure.

• 1:16:23Bill Simmons?

  So I changed that. I think he's right. Denise Richards playing a nuclear physicist is a hundred times more absurd than Elizabeth Shue.

• 1:16:30Chris Ryan?

  I like it. The Christmas Jones Award.

• 1:16:31Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:33Bill Simmons?

  I really like this question from Jack in Austin. In the social network, there's a short scene where Eduardo comes to visit Zuck in his dorm room. And mentions he made it to the next round of the final club recruitment. Eisenberg gets up, stands in the doorway, and robotically says, "That's good. You should be proud of that right there. Don't worry if you don't make it any further."

• 1:16:54Bill Simmons?

  It's an all-time line reading that could base smarminess, jealousy, and resentment without showing much emotion. "I propose thee, that's good. You should be proud of that right there. Don't worry if you don't make it any further award for best line reading." Pass winners include, "She's got a great ass." "Everybody in the German army has heard of Hugo Stigwitz." "And my offer is this, nothing." We, we have to add this.

• 1:17:17Chris Ryan?

  Okay, I don't know if Sean's gonna listen to this, but next time we have Sean on, and, and he says something, you should go, "That's good. You should be proud of that, Dave. Don't get mad if I don't throw to you for a while."

• 1:17:34Bill Simmons?

  I think best line reading is a great one.

• 1:17:36Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:36Bill Simmons?

  I'm kind of surprised we've had this pod for nine years and didn't think that that should be a category.

• 1:17:43Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, because it's a little twist on best quote or belatedly best quote, best line reading. Leslie Nielsen in airplane, good luck, real counting.

• 1:17:50Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 1:17:51Chris Ryan?

  But I think what his point is also that the what Jesse Eisenberg says winds up being like a very like prophetic thing about his relationship with Eduardo.

• 1:18:00Bill Simmons?

  The words need to be really, yeah.

• 1:18:01Chris Ryan?

  Yeah. So it's like, it's hard. It's like, that's a tasty beverage is, or that's a tasty burger is like, it's incredible line reading. I don't know if it has like everything to do with cult fiction.

• 1:18:10Speaker 01

  Needs to have weight.

• 1:18:11Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:12Bill Simmons?

  Pat from Scranton had one that, another good category suggestion about if we did a recast away, the Wilson, I'm sorry, award for, did this movie cross over into pop culture and become a universal joke or reference?

• 1:18:28Bill Simmons?

  Like the Exorcist headsband.

• 1:18:29Chris Ryan?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:18:30Bill Simmons?

  He mentions Groundhog Day, the movie. Houston, we have a problem. Funny, how am I funny clown? Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.

• 1:18:38Speaker 01

  Houston, we have a problem is from a movie?

• 1:18:40Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Isn't that in Paul 13?

• 1:18:41Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, it's Paul 13.

• 1:18:42Speaker 01

  But that's where it started?

• 1:18:44Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:44Chris Ryan?

  I mean, I think that they actually said it, you know, like on the TV broadcast.

• 1:18:48Speaker 01

  Oh, I didn't realize that movie is what pushed that into the lexicon. I thought that was already a thing.

• 1:18:52Bill Simmons?

  If a movie had a moment that actually became cultural, I think that needs to be recognized.

• 1:18:57Chris Ryan?

  It's tough because.

• 1:18:57Bill Simmons?

  We can put it on what stage is the best.

• 1:18:59Chris Ryan?

  The last like 10 years, I feel like they become more like visual memes and like that rather than the lines.

• 1:19:05Speaker 01

  Because now it's like a screenshot of Killian Murphy from Oppenheimer after like the what have I done? And it's just a shot of him looking down.

• 1:19:10Bill Simmons?

  Or the duff quarterback.

• 1:19:11Chris Ryan?

  Right.

• 1:19:12Speaker 01

  Or the duff quarterback. Yeah.

• 1:19:17Chris Ryan?

  What's the last movie you can think of that really broke into like popular cultural lexicon?

• 1:19:21Bill Simmons?

  I think it takes 10 years. I think it's a slow burn.

• 1:19:23Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, because it's like Bane now is like, there's all these Bane jokes like that you'll hear on like sports pods and stuff and it's like that was not happening like when it first came out.

• 1:19:32Bill Simmons?

  The Town's a good one, though.

• 1:19:33Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:33Bill Simmons?

  Like the town, which is 15 years old.

• 1:19:35Chris Ryan?

  Whose car are we gonna take?

• 1:19:36Bill Simmons?

  The departed. I think it takes like 10 to 15 years. It's gotta really, really work at it. Jordan R.

• 1:19:43Chris Ryan?

  I'm still laughing, but you said, that's a good take, Shaw. You should be proud of that.

• 1:19:50Chris Ryan?

  Don't get mad if I don't call on you for a while.

• 1:19:55Bill Simmons?

  Another 48 hours, we mentioned the Warriors and Jordan R. mentions how bad Rembrandt was for the was this guy really good at his job category.

• 1:20:09Bill Simmons?

  Tagging the gravestone, very simple. He had a lot of

• 1:20:11Chris Ryan?

  Sure.

• 1:20:12Bill Simmons?

  A lot of stuff about like Rembrandt, this was like your one job in the gang and you just did like very mediocre graffiti. And wants Rembrandt to be added to Vincent Chase. I don't think we need to do that. I'm gonna watch the Warriors again though and really look at the graffiti.

• 1:20:26Chris Ryan?

  This kind of gets into like, was Creasy the best getaway driver or the only available getaway driver? You know what I mean? Like there's, there's some guys that you're like, they've really built up this dude's role for the entire thing and then it just doesn't work out.

• 1:20:42Bill Simmons?

  I'm gonna skip ahead to the, the last couple here. Oh.

• 1:20:47Bill Simmons?

  Dave H. wants an AI platform where Craig could be like, I want to watch Zodiac at 97 minutes and AI just cuts it. It's the Craig Rollback AI time machine, time management machine.

• 1:20:58Chris Ryan?

  Well, this is the thing is that like, we need to bring back, this movie was edited by Claude. Terrestrial cable.

• 1:21:03Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:04Chris Ryan?

  Where Craig is cutting like epic films to make it so we can watch Nick's Hornets at 5pm.

• 1:21:10Bill Simmons?

  Ben and I watched Almost Famous twice in the last week, but we watched the bootleg cut the second time, which has like 35 minutes of additional scenes. And I was telling him, this one's not in the movie. And then we were deciding after the scene whether they should have kept it in the actual cut or not.

• 1:21:25Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:25Bill Simmons?

  Had a great time.

• 1:21:26Chris Ryan?

  That's awesome.

• 1:21:26Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, there was a couple of good scenes where we're like, eh. So Almost Famous, I would say there's probably three scenes that they could have added. So in that case, maybe like eight minutes longer.

• 1:21:36Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 1:21:37Bill Simmons?

  And I don't think I would cut anything. Robert V. wants us to add the Coghlan's Law Award for Best Random Rule or Law in the Movie from Cocktail. He points out, we had so much fun with the laws in that movie. That was a really fun pod.

• 1:21:53Bill Simmons?

  And should we just squeeze him in? Should that be life lesson? I'm willing to test drive this one.

• 1:21:58Chris Ryan?

  Sure. Yeah.

• 1:21:59Bill Simmons?

  Maybe it could be life lesson or Coghlan's Law. I have to reread the Coglin's Law?

• 1:22:04Chris Ryan?

  We have life lesson at the end of the.

• 1:22:07Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, so maybe Coglin's Law's in there.

• 1:22:09Chris Ryan?

  Of the movie, that's, that works.

• 1:22:10Bill Simmons?

  I'm okay with that. Oliver from Melbourne, Australia wants the, uh, yellow, the Al Pacino yellow handkerchief award for the most what the fuck moment of the movie?

• 1:22:21Bill Simmons?

  I'll put that in flex.

• 1:22:22Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:23Bill Simmons?

  And then, um,

• 1:22:26Bill Simmons?

  kind of a dark email from Eddie from Philly.

• 1:22:28Chris Ryan?

  Uh oh.

• 1:22:29Bill Simmons?

  He's, he was listening to Zodiac. And he said, there's this huge New Yorker article last year, which explored a theory why serial killers basically vanished after the eighties. We talked about this, why, what happened to serial killers?

• 1:22:41Chris Ryan?

  Technology, yeah.

• 1:22:43Bill Simmons?

  He said, uh, baby boomers and Gen X being exposed to leaded gasoline was the sliding doors moment. To power a large portion of Netflix's business is the theory.

• 1:22:55Chris Ryan?

  What does that mean?

• 1:22:56Bill Simmons?

  The smell of gas made people like wanna kill people.

• 1:23:00Chris Ryan?

  That's his theory?

• 1:23:01Bill Simmons?

  That was this article.

• 1:23:02Chris Ryan?

  That's fascinating.

• 1:23:03Bill Simmons?

  Did lead poisoning create a generation of serial killers in the seventies? Do you think Netflix needs serial killers to come back? Netflix is now doctoring the gas to, to make it more leaded again.

• 1:23:15Bill Simmons?

  Josh Aubrey, we're coming to the end here. Just one of the guys, he said the doc, the Joyce Hauser was almost Dr. Melfi bombshell in the Just One of the Guys pod. Um, should be used in the future for half ass internet research as like the hammer.

• 1:23:31Chris Ryan?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:23:32Bill Simmons?

  He said, this to me was the equivalent of finding out Judd Nelson was almost Walter Wade. Is that true?

• 1:23:38Chris Ryan?

  Why don't we do this? Instead of, cause half ass internet research, we generally cannibalize like at the beginning of the pod anyway. Like people can't help but be like, did you know this happened and this happened? But you gotta save one hammer. You gotta save one for the, like the most fascinating piece of half ass internet research.

• 1:23:54Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, maybe it'll build. I, I think that's a better way to do it. Michael Hughes in London wants us to have the Polly from Rocky Word for the character who would host the most terrifying podcast or YouTube channel.

• 1:24:06Bill Simmons?

  That made me think of other podcast YouTube channels like Big Nick and Dennis Thebes. Yeah. Could we, uh, could we do that? Big Nick and Dennis Thebes would just be like talking LA high school football, for sure. It'd be like another great live season from Polly.

• 1:24:20Speaker 01

  Wangro would have an interesting YouTube channel.

• 1:24:22Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, Wangro would be awful. Andrew points out that the Mark Holt and the Hayats and Rico Palazzo award for, uh, best performance with one line should actually be the Estelle Reiner, I'll Have What She's Having. Yeah. Nice shout out to Rob Reiner. Yeah. And that's probably a more famous line. Definitely. So I think. I'll Have What She's Having, that's a good one. Yeah. Duncan Woodward in Washington, he said, as someone who goes on Zillow constantly to appreciate real estate, I will never be able to afford, I often find myself appreciating beautiful homes and movies. We do this with the Amanda Dobbins category. Um, I've researched properties from movies, find out how much they last sold for. Some examples I researched, the Graham

• 1:25:03Bill Simmons?

  family home in Hereditary, Jason Bourne's Paris apartment where he got ambushed. Oh. And the house in Lethal Weapon owned by the South Africans. Um, I would like to propose the Faust ala Corne mansion award for a piece of real estate you'd wanna own the most and then you guys could guess the price and do that. Fausto's mansion? I don't know if we wanna put Fausto in the categories.

• 1:25:28Bill Simmons?

  Ben from Connecticut wanted us to do the Stuart Scott award for line from the movie most likely to be used during a 90's SportsCenter highlight. Oh, yeah. Like Wolf of Wall Street, I'm not fucking leaving. Yeah. Stu Scott's just doing that. Um, all right. Dave P. wants to know, Cruise or Hanks? If you could pick one Tom Cruise movie to sub Hanks in for the Cruise part and vice versa, what are the two movies? And he wants to see Cruise in Cast Away.

• 1:25:53Bill Simmons?

  Cruise in Cast Away would be pretty amazing. Yeah, the physicality Cruise would really lean into and do a good job. Him trying to light the fire. It's harder to go the other way.

• 1:26:03Bill Simmons?

  Hank's going into a Cruise part? What about Hank's in Eyes Wide Shut?

• 1:26:06Chris Ryan?

  I could see, that would be weird. That'd be a tough one. I could see Hank's doing, because there was like a I could see, there's sort of a young bad boy era for Hank's when he's doing like Punchline. I could see him doing-

• 1:26:18Bill Simmons?

  Bachelor Party Hank's?

• 1:26:19Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, like Rain Man.

• 1:26:20Speaker 01

  That's what I was gonna say, Rain Man.

• 1:26:22Chris Ryan?

  Being, uh-

• 1:26:23Bill Simmons?

  Hank says Charlie Babbitt?

• 1:26:24Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:25Bill Simmons?

  That's pretty good.

• 1:26:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:26:26Bill Simmons?

  So Hank says Charlie Babbitt? And then-

• 1:26:30Speaker 01

  Cruisin' Castaway.

• 1:26:33Bill Simmons?

  Is there another Hank's movie? That would be funny for Cruise? I mean, Saving Private Ryan would be hilarious.

• 1:26:37Chris Ryan?

  I think Cruisin' Big would be funny.

• 1:26:39Speaker 01

  The worst version of it would be Cruise as Forrest Gump.

• 1:26:44Speaker 01

  Because of the running especially.

• 1:26:46Bill Simmons?

  Cruise and Forrest Gump are big? Oh, Cruise and Forrest Gump, he's probably furious.

• 1:26:50Speaker 01

  We might need to embrace AI just so they can make a version of Forrest Gump with Tom Cruise.

• 1:26:54Chris Ryan?

  Coming on the Craig Horlbeck Network. Claude, an 80-minute version of Zodiac and an AI Cruise in Castaway.

• 1:27:02Bill Simmons?

  Why can't Craig be the new Claude? Just call Craig. It's just his AI thing.

• 1:27:07Speaker 01

  You got AI in my name, you know?

• 1:27:08Chris Ryan?

  But it would be good if you could also just be like, if sometimes you're like, that's a good question, I don't know.

• 1:27:13Speaker 01

  I'm busy.

• 1:27:15Chris Ryan?

  I'm watching Zodiac.

• 1:27:18Speaker 01

  I'm trying to trim an hour out of Zodiac right now. It's really hard.

• 1:27:21Bill Simmons?

  Jack F. loves the rewatchables mailbags, so he's gotta be excited he's in this one. He has a category idea. The little Kitner boy getting eaten by a shark award for the scene that gets glossed over until the viewer realizes, holy shit, a little boy was eaten by a shark.

• 1:27:37Bill Simmons?

  And he has Dr. Loomis mistaking Ben Tramer for Michael Myers.

• 1:27:41Speaker 01

  All time.

• 1:27:42Bill Simmons?

  And a bunch of others.

• 1:27:43Chris Ryan?

  We just talked about something like this on the To Live and Die in L.A. one, where it's like, a guy explodes in the same building that Ronald Reagan is giving a speech at, then the next scene is like-

• 1:27:54Bill Simmons?

  They gloss over-

• 1:27:54Chris Ryan?

  They don't even reference it.

• 1:27:56Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I'm gonna put that in the flex.

• 1:27:57Chris Ryan?

  There was an assassination attempt on the president, then they're like, eh, let's get some beers.

• 1:28:02Bill Simmons?

  Well, we always have to end mailbags, either here or on my podcast, with the goofiest question possible. This comes from Chris A. Good morning. I did not know there would be a rewatchables mailbag where you'd consider new awards. If there's still a chance, I would like to propose one. The Peter North Award for the performance of an actor that was their most effort-filled one in their career. A performance that they shot their most load in, if you will. Thank you for listening and have a great new year.

• 1:28:27Speaker 01

  So it's not best role, it's most effort, trying the hardest.

• 1:28:30Bill Simmons?

  It's like they shot their biggest wad. I gotta say, it's pretty good. The Peter North Award. It's good. I'm trying to think of like, the way you challenge it. It's like Casey Affleck in Manchester by the Sea. Yeah, Daniel Day-Lewis in My Left Foot. But I would say he's Peter North in every movie. He's peeing all the time. Peter North in Lincoln? Yeah, he's Peter North in Lincoln. I feel like Ben Affleck in Chasing Amy was a Peter North movie for him. He really, really went for it. It's really for the movies where the guy really, really goes for it, the actress.

• 1:29:06Speaker 01

  It's like going method almost.

• 1:29:07Bill Simmons?

  Michael Douglas in Basic Instinct, kinda. Yeah, well, no, but it's like. No. Like Cruise and Cocktails, another one. It's almost like they're throwing everything they have into a part that's not even that great. I like that. You know what I mean? Yes. It's like, ah, they had to go full Peter North there.

• 1:29:23Speaker 01

  Like Pacino's Son of a Woman?

• 1:29:25Bill Simmons?

  Right. Or, it's really Pacino in Two for the Money. Yeah, yeah. But I don't know, there's something there with the Peter North.

• 1:29:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's the try-hard award. Yeah, you're pushing too hard.

• 1:29:40Bill Simmons?

  Apparently he has an autobiography coming up. Peter North? Peter North, yeah. Will you be reading it? I Googled to see if he was still alive, and he is. Yeah. What else did you Google? We had a friend of mine in the 90s kinda looked like Peter North, and it was a running joke for the entire 90s. A friend, Mike. What, what piece of real estate? Does Craig know who Peter North is?

• 1:29:59Speaker 01

  I don't. I was just kind of hoping nobody would ask.

• 1:30:01Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Famous 80s, 90s porn actor. Yeah. Known for his prodigious finishing shots. Yeah.

• 1:30:10Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:30:10Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:13Bill Simmons?

  What does that mean? He was getting acrobatic with it?

• 1:30:16Speaker 01

  It's just one of those things where it was going.

• 1:30:17Bill Simmons?

  Lot of volume. Volume shooter. Oh, it was volume? Yeah, volume shooter. Distance? It's just everything.

• 1:30:26Bill Simmons?

  What's with the follow-ups? Can't you just?

• 1:30:33Bill Simmons?

  So, yeah, so like, where's like?

• 1:30:34Speaker 01

  So it's sperm? Are we talking sperm?

• 1:30:42Bill Simmons?

  That we have to wear Peter North Award for the Rewatchables.

• 1:30:45Speaker 01

  Yep, this is our podcast.

• 1:30:48Bill Simmons?

  I think my Peter North Award was the 21st Century 50 Most Rewatchable Movies pod.

• 1:30:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:30:53Bill Simmons?

  That was my Peter North.

• 1:30:54Speaker 01

  For Bill? Yeah.

• 1:30:55Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:55Speaker 01

  That was you shooting across the room?

• 1:30:57Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. What was for Van? What was Van's Rewatchables?

• 1:31:00Speaker 01

  Um, I think when Van said that he wanted, he would have slept with the woman from Species. Oh, yeah.

• 1:31:10Speaker 01

  And that he could convince her that it's a good idea. And that his, that he was, he was pure. He's like, hey, they, they hate my people too. Like, yeah. Together we will fucking rise. Take over.

• 1:31:23Bill Simmons?

  That was a great one. All right, we're done with the Rewatchables. Bill back. Thanks to everybody who sent questions in. They're really good. We'll try to do this every three or four months. Um, CR Month, just, just a banger.

• 1:31:33Speaker 01

  Nice Guys coming next? Yeah.

• 1:31:36Chris Ryan?

  Monday, and then LA Confidential to wrap it up.

• 1:31:38Bill Simmons?

  No, Nice Guys will have already happened by the time people hear this.

• 1:31:41Speaker 01

  No, cuz.

• 1:31:41Bill Simmons?

  Oh, Nice Guys won't have happened.

• 1:31:42Speaker 01

  Live and Die in L.A. will have been out, yeah.

• 1:31:44Bill Simmons?

  Mailbag?

• 1:31:45Speaker 01

  Then Nice Guys.

• 1:31:46Bill Simmons?

  Nice Guys?

• 1:31:47Chris Ryan?

  LA Confidential.

• 1:31:48Bill Simmons?

  LA Confidential. Four, our first four Person Rewatchables.

• 1:31:51Speaker 01

  And then what are you gonna do? Are you gonna take some time off?

• 1:31:53Chris Ryan?

  It's up to, up to Chief here. You know, he gets to decide.

• 1:31:57Bill Simmons?

  People were like, CR, finally some good movies, cuz CR was in charge. It's like, we've been talking about doing these movies for. Don't give CR too much fucking credit.

• 1:32:03Speaker 01

  What's the least CR movie we could do right after CR Month?

• 1:32:08Chris Ryan?

  I don't know. I can take multitudes. What would you pick? You'd probably do like.

• 1:32:12Bill Simmons?

  You can come and go with rom-coms.

• 1:32:13Speaker 01

  Toy Story?

• 1:32:14Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, anything animated, you might as well put me on the bench. Cars 3?

• 1:32:18Bill Simmons?

  That's when I go away for three months. We just do all animated and like Harry Potter movies. I'm just gone.

• 1:32:24Speaker 01

  Do you like any animated film?

• 1:32:25Bill Simmons?

  Does better than without me.

• 1:32:27Speaker 01

  Fuck you guys!

• 1:32:28Bill Simmons?

  Spotify's like, maybe we can replace Bill. Maybe we don't need him anymore.

• 1:32:33Speaker 01

  With Craig AI. Do you like any animated movie?

• 1:32:36Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, I do. It's partially a bit, but I don't actually actively seek them out.

• 1:32:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:32:41Bill Simmons?

  I've honestly never really fully understood it. I went through a phase with, that all people do. You'll go through it soon when you take your kids, when they're like. It's really fun to take the kids to the first one when they're like three. And then it's like three to nine, you just start going to them and.

• 1:32:58Speaker 01

  So you're not a big Toy Story guy or anything? Incredibles, Finding Nemo, none of that stuff?

• 1:33:01Bill Simmons?

  I'm not. I liked the one sad Toy Story I thought was good.

• 1:33:04Speaker 01

  Oh, three.

• 1:33:05Bill Simmons?

  Three's good.

• 1:33:06Speaker 01

  When they all about to die in the fire?

• 1:33:07Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, three's a good one.

• 1:33:08Speaker 01

  That one's sad.

• 1:33:09Bill Simmons?

  I also thought Lion King was really good.

• 1:33:11Speaker 01

  The which one? The, not the?

• 1:33:13Bill Simmons?

  The ninety-four one.

• 1:33:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, ninety-four.

• 1:33:14Bill Simmons?

  With the Elton John song.

• 1:33:15Speaker 01

  It's amazing.

• 1:33:16Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, that was good.

• 1:33:16Speaker 01

  The music in all those movies are really good. Yeah.

• 1:33:19Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Good date, like good date movie.

• 1:33:20Speaker 01

  Lion King was a good date movie.

• 1:33:22Bill Simmons?

  Oh, yeah. Yeah.

• 1:33:23Speaker 01

  Zootopia two was good.

• 1:33:25Bill Simmons?

  I believe you. Zootopia two was really good.

• 1:33:28Speaker 01

  Like, great.

• 1:33:29Bill Simmons?

  I didn't like when animated movies started to be like way deeper. Like, basically, they started catering toward the parents and to put stuff in there.

• 1:33:37Speaker 01

  For like, like layered references?

• 1:33:39Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, to put stuff in there to keep the parents.

• 1:33:40Speaker 01

  You don't like that.

• 1:33:41Bill Simmons?

  I just think they should be for kids, but what do I know? Maybe they've always been that way.

• 1:33:44Speaker 01

  Zootopia two has a lot of movie, there's Godfather references in Zootopia two. It's funny.

• 1:33:49Bill Simmons?

  The ones that I grew up with, like Weird Shit Happened.

• 1:33:52Speaker 01

  Like what? Like the Ralph Bakshi movies and stuff?

• 1:33:54Bill Simmons?

  Like Bambi.

• 1:33:55Speaker 01

  Oh, I mean, all those early Disney movies, there's a huge tragedy to start the film. And Nemo, the mom gets eaten by a barracuda to start the movie. And Up, the, the wife dies. There's always something like that.

• 1:34:05Bill Simmons?

  Well, the one that we get, and it's a Mallory favorite, I think it's Hugo? It's the one that foresees the future with AI and all this shit going on in it that people.

• 1:34:15Speaker 01

  Isn't that Scorsese? No, I mean, he made a movie called Hugo. I don't. It's not what you're talking about, or no?

• 1:34:22Bill Simmons?

  It's one of those movies, and it's big on AI. Mallory's always wanted to do it. I thought it was Hugo.

• 1:34:28Speaker 01

  Not Wally?

• 1:34:30Bill Simmons?

  No, Wally.

• 1:34:30Speaker 01

  Oh, Wally, sure.

• 1:34:32Bill Simmons?

  Why did I think Hugo?

• 1:34:33Speaker 01

  Wally is like, it, it's like the Apple Vision Pro is in Wally.

• 1:34:37Bill Simmons?

  Wally, Wally's the one.

• 1:34:38Speaker 01

  We're all just like fat robots stuck to our chairs, watching screens and ordering movies.

• 1:34:43Bill Simmons?

  I think Wally is like an age the best and the worst.

• 1:34:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:34:47Bill Simmons?

  It's now that people might be about AI girlfriends.

• 1:34:50Speaker 01

  Mall just picked Wally on a draft we were on, and she was, she was getting emotional about it.

• 1:34:54Bill Simmons?

  I let Mall and Joanna down because they asked me to be on the space draft, and I said, I don't really like space movies. And Mallory was upset.

• 1:35:02Bill Simmons?

  You don't like space movies? They kind of freak me out. Yeah. I don't really like outer space. What's the best space movie for you? I've seen all of them at least once. I like when it's Martian. I like when people can come home. But I don't like. Like Gravity. I don't like thinking about what's up there. Gravity is tough. Gravity is really good. I like Gravity.

• 1:35:18Chris Ryan?

  Aliens, my Alien and Interstellar and 2001.

• 1:35:22Bill Simmons?

  Kind of breaks my brain when I think about it too much. I'd much rather worry about like Shay Gildes Alexander's faltering. Than worrying what's going on in Saturn. What's on Earth? Yeah. We're worried about what's here. All right. Thanks, CR. Thanks, man. Thanks, Craig. Thanks to Gahow and Eduardo as well. And we'll be back Monday with. Nice guys. On Monday. All right, cool.

• 1:35:57Speaker 04

  What's the secret to being a great host this season? Keeping things deliciously simple. Like mixing Simply Cranberry into a festive drink as guests arrive. Or serving up a warm mug of Simply Apple on a chilly night. That means less time behind the scenes and more time in the moment with everyone. Crafted with real fruit, Simply juices and fruit drinks make any holiday drink effortless, inviting and completely delicious. Simply. Say yes to simple.

• 1:36:25Speaker 05

  Check home worries off your list and save up to $5,000 on repairs with Virginia Foundation Solutions. Wet basement, foundation cracks, uneven concrete? Leave those to us. Small problems can lead to bigger repairs when left unchecked. Virginia Foundation Solutions provides waterproofing, foundation repair and concrete leveling to help keep your home dry, stable and secure. You've got enough on your list. Let us handle the repairs. Schedule your free inspection with Virginia Foundation Solutions today.