Pod Insights The Rewatchables ‘Species’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Van Lathan About this episode The Ringer’s Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Van Lathan are just a couple of empaths looking for a killer alien seductress in Los Angeles as they revisit the 1995 science fiction horror film ‘Species,’ starring Natasha Henstridge, Michael Madsen, Ben Kingsley, and Forest Whitaker.
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Producers: Craig Horlbeck, Ronak Nair, and Jack Sanders
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Transcript 17,753 words · 9 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
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1:00 Bill Simmons? The Rewatchables is brought to you by The Ringer, the podcast network where you can find The Watch with CR. Is this your Madsen imitation? Some Big Pig 2. I'm doing a Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt, F1. F1. Just talking like that. Yeah, I am on The Watch on the big picture. Ben Lathan, Higher Learning. Yeah. Right now, Bush. Dubu. We're gonna do an incredible movie that came out 30 years ago that I saw in the theater. Yeah. And I don't know why it wasn't a bigger thing. Maybe it is. Maybe it is a thing. We're gonna find out. Species is next.
1:32 Speaker 02 We now have a new sequence of DNA with instructions on how to combine it with ours.
1:38 Speaker 03 They don't know how to find her. You created a monster. Now you want us to hunt it down and kill it. They don't know how to kill her.
1:46 Speaker 02 We decided to make it female so that it would be more controllable.
1:49 Speaker 03 More controllable.
1:50 Speaker 02 I guess you guys don't get out much.
1:54 Speaker 04 We gotta get to him before she gives birth.
2:02 Bill Simmons? This episode of The Rewatchables presented by Holiday Inn by IHG. It's a new day for a new stay at Holiday Inn for business travelers. Do you count as a business traveler, Sean?
2:11 Speaker 02 Sure, sometimes.
2:12 Bill Simmons? Okay. With modern spaces for meeting and working, plus delicious dining for breakfast, happy hour. Do you eat breakfast, Sean?
2:17 Speaker 02 I do. I had an apple and a breakfast bar this morning.
2:20 Bill Simmons? Oh, interesting. I don't need any breakfast, but I do love happy hour and dinner. They have that, too. Give everything you need to get your work done. Give your everyday business, travel, and upgrade. Book your next business trip at Holiday Inn by IHG. Visit holidayinn.com to book your stay.
2:50 Bill Simmons? All right, so Michael Mattson died. Now you're doing Javier Bardem from F1. Okay.
3:00 Bill Simmons? What are we doing, Sonny? Michael Mattson passed away and we had to do a Michael Mattson movie. And you thought it was gonna be Donnie Brasco. I asked, yes. And I was like, no. Yep. It's gonna be Species, because he's fucking awesome in Species. Listeners know that's how things work. And you were excited. Yeah. I was excited, yeah. No. Well, Species was weirdly on the summer list anyway, because I just bought it on 4K Blu-ray. Spectacular. Where's the collection at now? That's how the show works. Well, Amazon just had this great deal. Tell me about it. Sam Presting, just second round picks off Amazon.
3:36 Bill Simmons? This is my favorite Mattson performance, other than True Romance. I have it number two. I just love that. Really? Over Reservoir? There's, he has no part in this movie. It's like, ah, he's a hired government, but he's just all charisma and cool. And it's like, yeah, of course he's gonna fuck Mark Helgenberger. It's gonna happen.
3:56 Speaker 04 Yeah, of course. He never, I can't remember him ever trying this again. Trying to be the smooth, centerly guy. He's one of those guys that comes in and just injects cool into a movie. But he's always so, but in this one, he's gotta do his thing a little bit. And he's almost playing a straight man, which he didn't really do as much.
4:16 Bill Simmons? It's like a Alec Baldwin part.
4:18 Chris Ryan? Yeah, yeah. I mean, he said that of like, he made a lot of movies. He made a lot of movies for a lot of paychecks, but he was like, I liked Species because I got to play a good guy.
4:27 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
4:27 Chris Ryan? And then movie like stands up, it kind of holds up and he's great in it. He is this like, like kind of Humphrey Bogart figure in the middle of this team. And he just has like that ineffable cool that is just, you saw it in Dogs, you see it in True Romance and you see it here.
4:44 Speaker 04 That's what it is. He's playing, he's playing a good guy. He's playing a cool, good guy, like a no shit, straight shooter.
4:51 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
4:51 Speaker 04 That kind of like every time they're hemming and hawing about something, he goes, no, this is the truth. And that's kind of awesome.
4:58 Bill Simmons? But like with a little bit of a wink and a sense of humor. He's, he's tall, he's big. Like a lot of this Hollywood guys, probably like six, one, six, two. His nineties, you know, he's ripping off Thelma and Louise, he's memorable in that. Plays a porn star in The Doors. I don't know how you feel about The Doors.
5:15 Speaker 04 Love it.
5:16 Bill Simmons? The Getaway, Wyatt Earp. Reservoir was like his most famous one and it really goes through Species and then Donnie Brasco in 97. And then his IMDB just becomes paycheck after paycheck.
5:28 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
5:29 Bill Simmons? Including Species two, which he hated.
5:30 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
5:31 Bill Simmons? Um, but he has this like seven, eight year run here. Not sure why he wasn't a bigger deal. I'm sure he had some off the set issues.
5:40 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
5:40 Bill Simmons? That probably weren't helping him. But I think that thing that stands out for me with him is he, he feels like a 1940s or 50s actor.
5:48 Chris Ryan? Absolutely.
5:49 Bill Simmons? Time, time machined. Like he should be with, trying to like fuck Ava Gardner in like 1949.
5:56 Chris Ryan? Well, you know that, we talked about this before, but like up until a certain point and when you're watching Hollywood movies, maybe even through the eighties and nineties. You would watch these guys and there are definitely like a group of them where you would be like, I could see this dude doing something else but acting, besides acting.
6:11 Bill Simmons? Right.
6:11 Chris Ryan? Like Harrison Ford was like a carpenter or whatever, you know, it's like, you could see guys, you'd be like, I bet this dude had another job. Before he became Sam Elliott or Ed Harris.
6:20 Bill Simmons? Right.
6:21 Chris Ryan? And then when you see Mattson, he's kind of like that. You'd be like, oh, I could see this guy being like bartending at a pool hall.
6:27 Speaker 04 All right.
6:28 Chris Ryan? Before he became an actor. Now, he worked at Steppenwolf. He came up through the theater. That might not be the reality, but he has like lived experience that he transmits through his performances, which I think is like the best thing.
6:39 Speaker 04 Like an every guy type of deal. Also, in the 90s for him, a lot of his roles to me intersected with roles that Travolta was getting.
6:49 Chris Ryan? Crucially.
6:49 Speaker 04 Yeah, like, you know, obviously he comes, he is in Where's the Four Dogs? And Travolta's Vince Vega, those characters were related or whatever. But when you think about it, you could see him as Chili Palmer.
7:01 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
7:01 Speaker 04 You could see him in a lot of those roles.
7:03 Bill Simmons? He'd been good in Face Off.
7:04 Speaker 04 Would have been good in Face Off, stuff like that. So there was kind of somebody on his corner a little bit.
7:09 Bill Simmons? The move in retrospect, after like 97, he should have just done like a CSI type show. He just banked, banked TV money for 10 years.
7:16 Chris Ryan? There's moments with Marge Holgerberger where you're like, oh, like he could have had the William Peterson run here. You know what I mean?
7:21 Bill Simmons? Or he just could have had a show with, with her.
7:23 Chris Ryan? That's what I mean.
7:24 Bill Simmons? They had such good chemistry. I'm like, I just would have watched this.
7:27 Chris Ryan? She's on CSI with Peterson, yeah.
7:28 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
7:28 Speaker 04 She was dialing it up in this little sexy turn.
7:31 Bill Simmons? Listen, she.
7:31 Chris Ryan? We'll get, we'll get to that.
7:32 Speaker 04 This was a.
7:33 Bill Simmons? She played a hooker with a heart of gold in China Beach.
7:35 Speaker 04 Right.
7:36 Bill Simmons? A show only CR and I watched.
7:37 Chris Ryan? I fucking love China Beach.
7:38 Bill Simmons? Oh, the Michael McDonald ending?
7:40 Chris Ryan? Oh, yeah.
7:41 Bill Simmons? Season finale, one of the great Michael McDonald moments ever.
7:43 Chris Ryan? China Beach had the sickest opening credits.
7:45 Speaker 04 Was this the weird ass? We're doing, it like, it's Vietnam.
7:48 Chris Ryan? It's Dana Delaney and she's a nurse at like a hospital or doctor at a hospital in Vietnam.
7:54 Bill Simmons? Yeah, good looking woman in China Beach. Dana Delaney, Marge. Yeah, but it ended, they all went, it moved into the future, like 20 plus years later. And they all went to the wall to see the names and see the people that some of them whom have died. And Michael McDonald's You Can Let Go Now started playing. And it's like one of the most emotional moments in the 80s. Like, hands down. Not online, by the way. I've looked for it over and over again. I'm like, when is this gonna be online? Never, apparently.
8:20 Chris Ryan? Is China Beach not on streaming? One of my favorite things about you is when you recount some emotional moment from an 80s TV show. And it's like, is Bill gonna cry right now?
8:28 Speaker 04 You, you, like, you were touched by that.
8:31 Bill Simmons? I really was. I was by my, we were visiting my parents in Nantucket because they'd rented this house. And they were out shopping and China Beach was on. And for some reason I was just watching it. And all of a sudden the Michael McDonald, and they came home and I'm like, hey, guys. It's like, what's going on?
8:48 Chris Ryan? What are you thinking about Bill? POW?
8:51 Speaker 04 Just being on more, it was really rough, man.
8:53 Bill Simmons? No, but that show that I think there was too much music in it.
8:56 Chris Ryan? Oh.
9:00 Speaker 04 Same reason why I can't get all of my favorite MTV stuff anymore. No more Real World, no more like MTV.
9:07 Bill Simmons? All the Fox shows, like all the Nanotuno Melrose shows.
9:11 Chris Ryan? That was why Homicide took a long time to get to streaming, I think, because of the music.
9:14 Bill Simmons? Well, the cast in this, before we get to introducing dot, dot, dot. The cast in this, because the producer wanted in Species, they wanted to spend their $35 million budget, spend basically all of it on the alien and the effects. So they go kind of mid-market on the, on the stars. They're like, we don't need Trubalto, we'll get Madsen. They're just basically doing the same Presti. And they end up with two Oscar winners. They get Ben Kingsley, who had already won, and then Forest Whitaker, who hadn't won yet. They get Madsen, they get Marge, Marge or Marg? I never.
9:46 Chris Ryan? You know what, I honestly have never said it out loud.
9:49 Bill Simmons? I think it's Marge.
9:51 Chris Ryan? I'm gonna say, let's go with Marge and we apologize if we're wrong.
9:54 Bill Simmons? And then our guy Alfred Molina, who's two years later throwing firecrackers at Dirk Diggler and Reed Rothschild. But they just kind of patch it together. And it's a, it just, I saw this in the theater and I was like, inject this in my veins.
10:10 Chris Ryan? Yeah, so.
10:11 Bill Simmons? I know, we're waiting.
10:12 Chris Ryan? You go ahead.
10:12 Bill Simmons? It's, we're just appetizers.
10:14 Speaker 04 It's such a sneaky, devastatingly good cast. The movie is casted so seriously with all of these serious actors.
10:21 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
10:21 Speaker 04 But I did not go to see the movie in theaters because of that. I went to see the movie in theaters because there was all this talk.
10:29 Chris Ryan? About SETI and life on, uh, intelligent life on Earth.
10:33 Speaker 04 Yeah, the clean energy, which is a.
10:35 Bill Simmons? Like what happens if alien intelligence goes bad?
10:37 Speaker 04 Of course, I cared about the philosophical ramifications. No, the.
10:41 Chris Ryan? You cared about minute 16.
10:42 Speaker 04 We went all together as like, we went to see it because she was naked in it. That was, that was the reason that got, I'm just being for real.
10:51 Chris Ryan? Should we do like a fake Ken Burns documentary about?
10:55 Bill Simmons? People go in to see Species in theater?
10:57 Chris Ryan? Bam was very.
10:58 Bill Simmons? I think I soloed.
10:58 Chris Ryan? I could be Shelby Foot.
10:59 Bill Simmons? But I'm the only alone person in the theater.
11:02 Chris Ryan? Bam went with the community and Bill went alone, but we all went, we all went to watch Natasha.
11:09 Bill Simmons? We're all there for one reason. Yeah, listen, Craig, did you know what this movie was?
11:14 Chris Ryan? No.
11:16 Bill Simmons? So basically, the synopsis is, what if I told you they made an alien movie? But the alien was a hot horny blonde who wanted to find a mate. I just think people are gonna be like, I'm gonna give this one a chance. There's a certain demo. In the streaming universe, they're like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna give this a whirl. And by the way, it's on a lot of different streamers.
11:33 Chris Ryan? Yes.
11:33 Bill Simmons? This is easy to find.
11:35 Chris Ryan? Can I just?
11:35 Bill Simmons? But nobody knew who Natasha Henstridge was.
11:38 Chris Ryan? It was her first movie. Natasha Henstridge, yeah.
11:40 Bill Simmons? And this was like, we need to, we need to cast somebody who's really good looking and they succeeded.
11:47 Chris Ryan? Yes. Before we get to Natasha, I just want to say that one of my favorite subgenres of the 90s is, I, I think it's like, I'll call it scientist fiction. So it's a little bit sci fi, a little bit adventury, but Congo, outbreak, sneakers, sphere. Species, mimic.
12:09 Bill Simmons? Crichton in it up?
12:10 Chris Ryan? Yeah, get, get a little Crichton in your, in your life. And, and just like, always has these really good ensembles. And that has like, a little bit of like, what would happen if there was a great big epidemic? Or what would happen if, you know, we found something in the bottom of the ocean that might be a portal to another universe? All this stuff. And it's, they just made, they executed it on such a high level.
12:30 Bill Simmons? Do you put like Event Horizon in there?
12:33 Chris Ryan? A little bit closer to space horror, but, but I think, I think intention, but the intention was to make it like that.
12:39 Bill Simmons? Right. I completely believe the premise of this.
12:42 Chris Ryan? Okay.
12:43 Bill Simmons? Completely.
12:47 Bill Simmons? That's fucking hilarious, bro. Like, the premise of this movie is so fucking wacky.
12:54 Bill Simmons? When Kingsley lays it out, I'm like, yeah. They gave us some signals and then they kind of tricked us.
13:00 Chris Ryan? Yeah, right.
13:01 Bill Simmons? And they wanted us to take their code and, and, and, uh, merge it with a human and we fell for it. I was like, ah, maybe. I could see some people in Trump's cabinet falling for that one right now. Let's be honest. It's like, hey, press, good news, the aliens have reached out. They just want to merge our DNA. Is that cool?
13:22 Chris Ryan? Yeah, I could see Hexeth definitely get, getting caught with this email. Whoa, are you serious? She wants to do what?
13:31 Bill Simmons? Well, she would get to Hexeth.
13:32 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
13:32 Bill Simmons? He likes to party. Well, they decided to make. The Alien, attractive.
13:39 Bill Simmons? Natasha was a Canadian model. Who had never acted before. And then, I gotta say, I bought season tickets. I thought there was gonna be a big career head. Didn't quite happen. This ended up basically becoming. She made a couple of species movies. She was in that cold nine yards. She was in.
13:54 Speaker 04 She hung around.
13:55 Bill Simmons? But not in a way.
13:57 Speaker 04 Flirted with TV a little bit.
13:58 Bill Simmons? Not in a way I felt like it was gonna happen for her. She's just perfect in this.
14:02 Speaker 04 Or you think Sharon Stone or something?
14:04 Bill Simmons? I don't know. She was definitely felt like a movie star. Yeah. Right? It's like she had a presence. She had a charisma. And there's this whole alternative version of this movie that we'll talk about where it's like. Her just kinda moving around LA could have gone on for. Oh, that could have been like. Two days. That could have been like Kung Fu. Yeah. I just walked the earth. That could have just been a TV show.
14:22 Speaker 04 It's always. Compelling to me when alien from another planet. Or whatever being is dropped into a major metropolis and has to like figure their way out.
14:34 Bill Simmons? Like, like get a hotel room, buy, buy clothes.
14:36 Speaker 04 Figure out money. Figure out, uh, directions, talk to people, understand culture.
14:41 Bill Simmons? The hotel room TV.
14:42 Speaker 04 All of that stuff. But it is always much more appealing. When that alien is drop dead gorgeous.
14:49 Bill Simmons? Right. Yeah.
14:50 Speaker 04 Because you're looking like, oh my God, are people not paying attention to her? How is she gonna blend in and all of that? She wants to go to the parties.
14:57 Bill Simmons? Did she, did you waive the five year waiting period for the White Girl Hall of Fame? And just induct her immediately? How did that work? She's a founding member. She has to wait till 2000 for five years?
15:07 Speaker 04 It's funny, when I queued the movie up to watch it, I was like, I wonder how. Because, you know, you see her in the whole nine yards. She is. Uncommonly. Devastatingly beautiful. Like, but in a very white way. Sometimes people are, sometimes they.
15:24 Bill Simmons? A tall, white, Canadian way?
15:25 Speaker 04 Yeah, sometimes I don't like them like that. I like them a little, you know, with my White Girl Hall of Fame, you know, I put Alexis Texas in my shit. So like, I, it's, it's so, and so, but like, she is like devastatingly gorgeous. In like a really timeless way, which you would have thought.
15:43 Bill Simmons? She's Nordic.
15:44 Speaker 04 She's Nordic, right?
15:45 Bill Simmons? Feels Nordic.
15:46 Speaker 04 Which normally is not my thing, but when I look, when I queued the movie back up, I'm like, whoa, she's still.
15:52 Bill Simmons? Yeah, like she, if, if just like. Some prince had just married her three years later and she just became like the queen of Scotland. It would have made sense.
16:00 Speaker 04 Or if like, if Quincy Jehovah got to her.
16:03 Bill Simmons? Or Pete Sampras.
16:04 Speaker 04 Yeah.
16:04 Bill Simmons? It's just like, oh, Pete Sampras is Woody Wilburton. There's his girlfriend Natasha Hencher.
16:09 Chris Ryan? Exactly.
16:10 Bill Simmons? She's just in the box cheering him on next to Lady Di.
16:15 Bill Simmons? Yeah, I don't, I don't know why more stuff didn't happen with her. Maybe she wasn't a very good actor. Her acting didn't really matter in this movie.
16:21 Chris Ryan? The other thing that's kind of cool about her in this movie is if, whether you're alone in the theater or with the crew, like it confronts you with some images that you may not consider erotic on first pass, but then find yourself kind of being like, am I kind of into this? Am I kind of into this naked lady popping out of an alien cocoon?
16:41 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
16:42 Chris Ryan? Naked, covered in petroleum jelly.
16:44 Bill Simmons? Trained jelly.
16:45 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
16:45 Speaker 04 The part where you know the guy's about to die.
16:47 Chris Ryan? These are the search terms that we don't have anymore. You know what I mean?
16:50 Speaker 04 You know, she's gonna kill the guy and she looks at him and she goes, I want a baby. And you're like, I would give you one.
16:56 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
16:57 Bill Simmons? Okay.
17:02 Bill Simmons? It is, uh, it's quite a performance. On the flip side, I think we have to, I created a new award that I'm just gonna do now. The Ben Kingsley in Species Award for, it doesn't seem like you really want to be here.
17:16 Chris Ryan? No.
17:18 Bill Simmons? We've seen this before. I don't know how we've done almost 400 movies and this hasn't been a category yet, but I think he just regretted being in this from the get go and never really broke out of it.
17:27 Chris Ryan? He didn't love his time on the set.
17:29 Bill Simmons? Was not surprised to find that out in the research.
17:31 Chris Ryan? And I think he was probably in that zone of middle aged English actor who was like, kind of in the Michael Caine zone. You know, where you're like, I can, I can do this in my sleep.
17:42 Bill Simmons? I've won an Oscar before, but I guess now here's where my career is going.
17:45 Chris Ryan? One single tear.
17:46 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
17:46 Chris Ryan? As I execute the young sill, but like, other than that. I just tell me I have to run down this hallway.
17:52 Bill Simmons? He's on autopilot the whole time.
17:54 Speaker 04 He's also an interesting guy. Like, he's made some movies. What's that guy that's known as the worst director of all time? Ewan Boll or whatever?
18:00 Chris Ryan? Oh, yeah, yeah.
18:01 Speaker 04 He was in one of his movies and apparently.
18:03 Chris Ryan? Blood Rain?
18:04 Speaker 04 Something like that. Yeah, the way it worked out was that like Ben Kingsley was near where they were shooting or something and somebody got in touch with them. They found it out some kind of way. It was like, yo, we'll give you seventy five thousand dollars to come over here and act for one day. Then they put him on the cover of the DVD. So Ben, he'll take a check to go and add some credibility to a film.
18:24 Chris Ryan? Five years or so, he would do like, he would just be in Sexy Beast and you'd be like, oh, you're the best actor in the world.
18:28 Speaker 04 Right. He does his thing.
18:30 Bill Simmons? Sean does that with Blu-ray extras. He's the Ben Kingsley of Blu-ray extra interviews.
18:37 Chris Ryan? If you cut the check, Sean will show up and be like, you know, species?
18:40 Bill Simmons? Can't Buy Me Love, director's commentary?
18:43 Speaker 04 Oh, that's a great movie, man.
18:44 Bill Simmons? So Madsen.
18:45 Speaker 04 I love that movie. You like that?
18:47 Bill Simmons? Madsen?
18:48 Speaker 04 Appreciate it.
18:49 Bill Simmons? Have we done Can't Buy Me Love, Craig?
18:50 Chris Ryan? Yes, yeah.
18:51 Bill Simmons? Yeah, I thought we did. Might have been during that COVID year. I don't remember anything.
18:55 Chris Ryan? But we did care about you.
18:56 Bill Simmons? Or I'm for October.
19:01 Bill Simmons? We gotta save some stuff.
19:03 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
19:03 Bill Simmons? Still saving things.
19:04 Chris Ryan? I guess we're gonna work together forever because like, I'm not leaving you until you do Scar.
19:10 Bill Simmons? Gotta hold some stuff over you. Madsen has lines in this movie like, I'm Preston Lennox and if I'm here, the shit has definitely hit the fan.
19:20 Chris Ryan? It's good.
19:21 Bill Simmons? Solid.
19:22 Chris Ryan? I also like when, uh.
19:23 Bill Simmons? I'm a freelance solution to our government's problems.
19:25 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
19:26 Bill Simmons? Always fun when somebody has that job. I feel like that would have been your job if you could have written yourself a part in an action movie.
19:32 Chris Ryan? Those jobs now. That's one of the problems, maybe.
19:34 Bill Simmons? The rogue?
19:35 Chris Ryan? Yeah, too many guys are just like, yeah, I work for the government.
19:39 Bill Simmons? Tell him he's about to copulate with a creature from outer space. Like, these are bad lines and he's ripping them off and unbelieving.
19:46 Chris Ryan? Yeah, he can just put like a little bit of hot sauce on anything where he's just like, when they're like, we made her female so that she would be more docile. And he was like, you guys don't get out much.
19:54 Speaker 04 On the Madsen tip, when he passed away, it was evident to me when I thought about it is like, he was just a cool actor that I knew that if he was in a movie, some cool shit was gonna happen.
20:07 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
20:08 Speaker 04 Like him and The Getaway, him and Reservoir Dogs and all of that. And who are the cool actors now? Who like the cool guys?
20:16 Chris Ryan? Who's like cool?
20:17 Speaker 04 Like just cool. I'm not talking about dudes that you know.
20:19 Bill Simmons? Like the way Sizemore was like that too.
20:21 Speaker 04 Yeah, who could open a movie or do whatever. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about just like, this guy is cool. You know, the movie is gonna have a little something to it and he's gonna bring a little something to it.
20:30 Bill Simmons? Some sauce.
20:30 Speaker 04 Some sauce. Like, are all those guys gone? And have they not been replaced?
20:36 Bill Simmons? I feel like Bernthal was like this for a while, but then he kind of kind of graduated.
20:41 Speaker 04 Yeah.
20:42 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
20:42 Bill Simmons? But Bernthal was this guy for a while.
20:44 Chris Ryan? Bernthal had that authenticity. I think.
20:46 Bill Simmons? Holt?
20:46 Chris Ryan? Evan Moss's Backrack has that a little bit.
20:48 Speaker 04 Little bit, but.
20:50 Chris Ryan? He's about to go pro with the Fantastic Four stuff.
20:53 Speaker 04 A little bit, he had it. I thought.
20:54 Bill Simmons? What about Holt, our guy?
20:56 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
20:57 Bill Simmons? No?
20:58 Chris Ryan? Yeah. But it's, yes, definitely cool. Definitely has that like authentic feel. Goggins a little bit.
21:05 Speaker 04 Goggins is one.
21:07 Chris Ryan? He's like, that's a real dude, like, right, yeah.
21:09 Speaker 04 Goggins is definitely one. Part of it is, I don't know if they're making the movies anymore.
21:13 Bill Simmons? Yeah, I was thinking there has to be some sort of checklist where the guy, could you have pulled off being one of the bad guys in a Fast and Furious movie? Could you?
21:25 Speaker 04 Can you be the asshole in a heist movie? Can you play, uh?
21:29 Bill Simmons? Could you be De Niro and Kilmer's third guy in Heat? Like, there's these things you kind of have to be able to do.
21:36 Speaker 04 Or like, could you be Wingrove?
21:37 Bill Simmons? Of being cool. Yeah, could you be Wingrove?
21:39 Speaker 04 Right.
21:39 Bill Simmons? That's a good one.
21:40 Speaker 04 Yeah, so like, those guys, those movies that were made, those kind of scuzzy, street level films. Actually, you know who's kind of one of those dudes now? In a weird way, Gerard Butler almost has become that. But he might be a little too leading man.
21:56 Bill Simmons? Pablo's might be like that. Pablo Schreiber.
21:58 Chris Ryan? Sure, just like, I'd love to see him get more work in those kinds of movies.
22:02 Bill Simmons? So maybe part of it is like, would Tarantino in the mid 90s have been dying to put you in one of his movies?
22:09 Chris Ryan? Right, I definitely think some of the guys we just mentioned would have been. I mean, Goggins was in a Tarantino movie once, you know what I mean, at a certain point.
22:16 Bill Simmons? Can we do Madsen versus Sizemore? Because I feel like you have to, you have to be on one team or the other. Are you a Madsen guy or a Sizemore guy?
22:25 Chris Ryan? I think filmography wise, it's Sizemore.
22:28 Bill Simmons? No, what does CR want? Were you most excited? Like, who's your guy? If you're cast in a movie and you could do the fantasy team and you're doing like a heist movie or whatever, who's your, are you calling?
22:43 Chris Ryan? Sizemore.
22:43 Bill Simmons? Sizemore. I think I'm a Sizemore guy too, but it's close.
22:47 Speaker 04 So I'll tell you why I'm gonna take Madsen.
22:49 Bill Simmons? Okay.
22:50 Speaker 04 I think Madsen can do everything that Sizemore can do, but there are a couple of things that I think
22:56 Chris Ryan? Sizemore can't do that Madsen can do.
22:59 Bill Simmons? Yeah, the slightly, there's something charming, you might feel like he can
23:03 Speaker 04 A little bit more like leading man, it can be oriented around me, a little bit more, I can get the girl, like you said, type shit. Madsen has a little bit more of that.
23:15 Bill Simmons? Madsen also, there's a bunch of parts in the 90s, I think he could have played that. I don't know if I would have bought Sizemore in. Like, Madsen could have been the Michael Douglas Basic Instinct part. I totally could have seen him as Shooter.
23:27 Chris Ryan? Imagine Madsen reacts in your Roxy.
23:33 Speaker 04 Interesting.
23:35 Bill Simmons? Because I wouldn't see Sizemore in that role. You know what I mean?
23:39 Speaker 04 The only thing about Shooter is Shooter, Shooter had to be somebody that looked clean cut, but had a dark side.
23:47 Bill Simmons? That's Madsen.
23:48 Speaker 04 When you see Madsen, to me, you see the dark side a little bit.
23:51 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
23:51 Bill Simmons? Right, but you're bringing your off-screen baggage to that. Because you know the stories. I saw him like five years ago in Malibu, eating breakfast and he was there, he was dressed in a leather jacket. It was like 80 degrees outside, eating with one of his kids. And I took a picture of his back and sent it to CR. I don't know if you remember this, CR.
24:08 Chris Ryan? I do.
24:09 Speaker 04 Yeah.
24:09 Bill Simmons? It's like, Madsen, having breakfast.
24:12 Chris Ryan? Well, the idea of you out there papping people.
24:14 Bill Simmons? Yeah, it was like, one of the only times I've ever done it, I was like, I gotta get this.
24:17 Chris Ryan? Did you talk to him?
24:20 Bill Simmons? Nah, I chickened out. I should have. I never like talking to celebrities.
24:22 Chris Ryan? He's really good as far as late period him goes like he's really good in hatefully. He's awesome and Kill Bill Part Two.
24:29 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
24:29 Chris Ryan? Yeah, it's fantastic. He still had it, but like obviously hell on a like off screen stuff and yeah, but there's like that. There's the turning point in his career is essentially he's supposed to do Pulp, right? It doesn't um to be in some things.
24:45 Bill Simmons? I think he committed to something.
24:47 Chris Ryan? He was in Donnie Brasco.
24:48 Bill Simmons? But that was later. It was some other movie.
24:49 Chris Ryan? Was like a couple of years after. Was it?
24:51 Bill Simmons? Yeah, there was some reason he's not in it.
24:54 Chris Ryan? But like you wonder whether or not if he's in Pulp Fiction.
24:56 Bill Simmons? Does he get like four of those Travolta movies?
24:59 Chris Ryan? Yeah. Yeah, unless, I mean, you know, sometimes a role aligns with an actor. Sure. I mean, that was like reviving Travolta. Certainly, yeah.
25:06 Bill Simmons? The Ben Kingsley in Species Award. It doesn't really seem like you wanted to be in this movie. I'd love, we, we gotta think about this, like who's the all time version of that? In a movie that we like, we don't do this now, but the next.
25:20 Chris Ryan? Roy Scheider in Jaws Two.
25:22 Bill Simmons? That was a good one, too. Thirty five million dollar budget made a hundred and thirteen point three million dollars.
25:27 Chris Ryan? Big hit. Yeah.
25:27 Bill Simmons? Species. Roger Ebert. Two stars.
25:34 Bill Simmons? I would have thought he would have enjoyed the nudity.
25:36 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
25:38 Bill Simmons? Mainstream Hollywood is so terrified of intelligent human characters that it's no wonder they don't want aliens who are even smarter than the humans. Just goes on and on talking about what were they trying to do? He's told us that whole story when she asks, who am I, what am I? And then Raj writes, but the movie never tells her.
25:57 Chris Ryan? Relax.
25:57 Bill Simmons? Settle down, Raj. All timer.
26:00 Chris Ryan? Have some fun, brother.
26:01 Bill Simmons? We're gonna take a break and go through the categories and a lot of fun stuff.
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27:09 Bill Simmons? All right, most rewatchable scene. Michelle Williams, young Michelle Williams, escaping. In the glass hole, they're trying to gas her out.
27:17 Speaker 04 Yeah.
27:18 Bill Simmons? She won't have it. Gets out of there. I like how this movie starts. You're like, immediately, it's good.
27:23 Speaker 04 Yeah, it gives you no chance to just, here's the focal point. Up against it, gonna eat everything, alien, escape, crack some necks, we're out of here.
27:34 Bill Simmons? Yeah, there's no like four-minute people walking in a long hallway being like, we have to do it today.
27:40 Chris Ryan? If you're gonna make a B-movie, just make it a B-movie and start the movie. You know, I don't need a preamble, I don't need like a flashback, I don't need five years ago.
27:50 Speaker 04 Scientist telling you how important the research is.
27:52 Chris Ryan? Bang, Michelle Williams in a cage, let's go.
27:55 Speaker 04 Right.
27:55 Bill Simmons? Do we do the, are we sure this guy was good at her, what's that a word?
28:00 Chris Ryan? That was my flex.
28:01 Bill Simmons? Oh, all right, I'll save it for you, CR. Next rewatchable.
28:05 Chris Ryan? Was it really?
28:06 Speaker 04 I swear to hell, yeah.
28:07 Chris Ryan? I can probably come up with another flex.
28:08 Speaker 04 I'll come up with another one.
28:10 Bill Simmons? Next rewatchable, Fitch has his crew and he lays out what happened with the alien. Good exposition.
28:15 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
28:16 Bill Simmons? Two minutes, you just get it. "We decided to make it female so it would be more docile and controllable." And press goes, "More docile and controllable, eh? You guys don't get out much."
28:26 Speaker 02 "We decided to make it female so that it would be more docile and controllable." More docile and controllable, huh? I guess you guys don't get out much.
28:36 Bill Simmons? Just trip it off Winterland.
28:38 Chris Ryan? You ever wish you were invited to a random meeting? Where it's just like, I'm a biologist, I'm an anthropologist, I'm a killer, and Bill's like, I'm a podcaster.
28:49 Chris Ryan? It's just like, great, you're gonna meet.
28:51 Bill Simmons? We're getting more in the video.
28:52 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
28:53 Bill Simmons? Yeah, the team was an anthropologist, a molecular biologist, a black ops mercenary, and an empath. And I don't know, at what point do you want to talk about whatever Forrest Whitaker's doing in this movie? We can do it later.
29:04 Chris Ryan? I have so many questions.
29:05 Bill Simmons? We'll save it.
29:05 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
29:05 Bill Simmons? Okay.
29:08 Bill Simmons? So he, so, uh, Madsen says, I think this is a search and destroy operation. It's like, yeah, we get it.
29:14 Speaker 04 Search and destroy operation, just so we know. They send one person who knows how to fight.
29:20 Bill Simmons? And three losers.
29:21 Speaker 04 And three eggheads.
29:22 Chris Ryan? Yes.
29:22 Speaker 04 We're gonna give out the Erica.
29:23 Bill Simmons? Including empath who gets freaked out if somebody's ordering coffee. It's like, ah, that's the cat, that's the cat.
29:28 Chris Ryan? No, he would be like, someone wanted coffee here.
29:33 Bill Simmons? She's, she's afraid.
29:34 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
29:35 Bill Simmons? Like, it's honestly like that SNL sketch with Christopher Walken, Trivial Psychic. You're gonna have an ice cream. You're gonna get an ice cream headache.
29:48 Bill Simmons? Fitch almost lets Marge and Madsen die in the lab.
29:51 Chris Ryan? In the burn room, yeah.
29:52 Bill Simmons? Lot of questions about this one.
29:53 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
29:53 Bill Simmons? Why they couldn't have just opened the door quick, let them out. And then Madsen's not mad at all, but it's a really fun scene. All right, here we go. I'll just read what I wrote down. Natasha goes to the club, kills a bitch at the id, takes her shirt off, goes to a Hollywood Hills house.
30:12 Bill Simmons? And kills somebody by French kissing them through the back of their neck.
30:15 Speaker 04 Tongue through the fucking.
30:15 Chris Ryan? And then that guy looks like Nick Wright.
30:19 Chris Ryan? He does. He looks exactly like Nick Wright.
30:24 Chris Ryan? This movie would have been amazing if that dude was like Jim Rome.
30:28 Speaker 04 Right.
30:29 Chris Ryan? And he was just like driving her home and was just like, yeah, what do you know about Luke Robitaille?
30:37 Bill Simmons? He's talking about MJ. I still feel like there's a guy who's gonna come that's gonna be greater than him. Still feel like there's some holes.
30:44 Chris Ryan? And she's like, I want your baby.
30:45 Bill Simmons? He does look like Nick Wright.
30:46 Speaker 04 He does. And he's got a nice crib. He's probably, he probably is.
30:50 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
30:50 Speaker 04 That arrows Nick Wright, snapping his fingers, turning the lights on.
30:55 Bill Simmons? She gives a, she, she, first she, the girl that she ends up killing in the bathroom. Nothing better than a good club murder in the bathroom where they find the body like two minutes later.
31:05 Speaker 04 Right.
31:05 Chris Ryan? And she went the hard way. She went like into a service entrance and threw the fucking tile wall.
31:11 Bill Simmons? Yeah, she was.
31:12 Speaker 04 I feel like that woman died for nothing. Well, you know what?
31:15 Chris Ryan? She was, she was seen as a threat.
31:16 Speaker 04 As a throw.
31:17 Chris Ryan? And she said, all's fair in love, in love, right? Or something like that. And then she's, still is very literal.
31:25 Speaker 04 Right.
31:26 Bill Simmons? So Natasha learns from her, I've got a party to go to, nobody to take me. Good line. Nobody's ever said that to me. The guy who picks up Natasha at the club, living the dream.
31:37 Chris Ryan? Yeah, Robbie.
31:39 Bill Simmons? Great BMW convertible, like really good year, like midnight, those mid nineties convertibles were elite.
31:45 Speaker 04 Crazy view, automated, snap.
31:48 Bill Simmons? He's got like surround sound, pretty early for the surround sound of like, I'm just gonna put on some Shadé.
31:53 Speaker 04 Yeah.
31:54 Bill Simmons? And, and play some music for you.
31:56 Speaker 04 Right. Um. Entitled though.
31:58 Bill Simmons? And, uh.
31:59 Chris Ryan? Well, yeah, it was problematic.
32:00 Bill Simmons? Well, I was rooting for him and then all of a sudden he got a little date rape.
32:03 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
32:03 Speaker 04 Yeah, he did. He, he tried to imprison her. He tried to with the wrong one.
32:08 Speaker 07 Come here.
32:08 Speaker 02 I said I wanna go.
32:10 Speaker 07 Too late babe, you're not leaving. I said you're not leaving.
32:16 Speaker 02 Alright.
32:17 Speaker 07 That's better.
32:29 Bill Simmons? Really wanted more from Nick Ray.
32:33 Bill Simmons? She's like, I just think MJ was better than Bron. He's like, you're staying here.
32:38 Chris Ryan? You want to watch Sean Kemp highlights?
32:44 Bill Simmons? I do, I did think in living in Boston in the mid 90s that like half the people in LA were like this guy.
32:51 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
32:52 Bill Simmons? Where they just like went to clubs and then lived in a house like this.
32:55 Speaker 04 Brought somebody home.
32:57 Bill Simmons? Just brought people home.
32:58 Speaker 04 Like just overwhelmed them with like all of the stuff that they had and then boom, closed the deal.
33:03 Chris Ryan? So do you think she kills him because he's date rapey or because he's diabetic?
33:08 Bill Simmons? Both. I think it was a combo.
33:09 Speaker 04 He also threatened her because.
33:11 Chris Ryan? That's what I'm saying. Yeah.
33:12 Speaker 04 It's like, I want to leave.
33:13 Bill Simmons? He should have, she should have killed him when he said, I've got to take a shower.
33:16 Speaker 04 Would you like?
33:17 Chris Ryan? Killed him in the shower. Yeah.
33:18 Bill Simmons? Yeah. Just like, that's weird.
33:20 Chris Ryan? Well, I think he tried, he tried to cash the like, maybe she'll shower with me check. And when she didn't go for that, he was like, well, I'm already committed to this shower, so I gotta take it.
33:28 Bill Simmons? Right. I do have some alien questions though. Like she'd never seen a shower before. Like there's a lot of moments where she should have been like, what's a shower?
33:35 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
33:36 Bill Simmons? Why are you standing in that room with water pouring on you?
33:38 Chris Ryan? Three commercials and was like, I got it.
33:41 Speaker 04 Saw people coming to money. I understand money.
33:44 Bill Simmons? Her and Borat were the fastest son he was ever simulated with America.
33:47 Chris Ryan? She saw one porn scene at a, at a L'Oreal commercial. She's like, I'm good.
33:54 Bill Simmons? I totally understand how all this works.
33:56 Chris Ryan? I gotta say, tough beat for diabetes. Like that's enough. I know.
33:59 Bill Simmons? Oh, yeah.
33:59 Chris Ryan? I know. Like it was kind of like a drive by on the diabetics.
34:03 Speaker 07 I would love if her alien son had like an insulin device on.
34:07 Bill Simmons? Sit the sewers.
34:09 Chris Ryan? Eating rats. Yeah.
34:11 Bill Simmons? Next one is the Palisades guy. Our guy with Publix.
34:17 Chris Ryan? I also really love just still at the beach and the skateboarder guy who's like, woo hoo. And someone gets hit by the car.
34:25 Bill Simmons? I, I have a spot for that.
34:28 Chris Ryan? Okay.
34:29 Bill Simmons? I have thoughts.
34:30 Chris Ryan? Okay.
34:32 Bill Simmons? The most Palisades guy ever picks her up.
34:36 Bill Simmons? He just, he's, he's like, isn't it great out here? You can, so quiet. She's got this nice, he's got some wine ready. And he's just like, ready to, uh, ready to take it slow. And she's like.
34:49 Speaker 04 But this is the, this is the biggest tragedy in the movie.
34:52 Bill Simmons? Five seconds.
34:52 Speaker 04 Cause this guy's a nice guy.
34:54 Bill Simmons? He is a nice guy.
34:55 Speaker 04 He wants to take a picture with her. What a sip. He's taking a picture with her, first date, got the Polaroid.
35:00 Chris Ryan? Kinda weird.
35:00 Speaker 04 Weird. And then.
35:02 Chris Ryan? Also, he goes from like, I've checked you into and out of the hospital and here's a charcuterie plate, like immediately.
35:07 Speaker 04 Yeah. He paid for her to get out of the hospital. Took her, was nice to her. What did he fucking get for it? Killed, nothing, justice for him.
35:15 Bill Simmons? Peaceful guy in the Palisades. She had a nice girl.
35:19 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
35:19 Bill Simmons? Was gonna pay for his, uh, for her, uh, injuries at the hospital, put it on my credit card.
35:24 Chris Ryan? Right.
35:25 Bill Simmons? Although I can't blame him. Um. Was there a bigger swing for a human being in 30 seconds than that guy's Nate?
35:37 Bill Simmons? He's like, this is great. Yeah, let's get in the hot tub.
35:39 Speaker 04 Alright, let's get in the hot tub. We're good.
35:41 Bill Simmons? Fucking, hit the fucking lottery. I can't believe this all, and then have 30 seconds later is being killed.
35:47 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
35:47 Speaker 04 He stopped going with the flow though.
35:49 Chris Ryan? Yeah, he started resisting it.
35:50 Speaker 04 Yeah.
35:51 Chris Ryan? He started pushing against the current.
35:52 Speaker 04 And then, that's when you gotta die.
35:55 Bill Simmons? Poor bastard. The car chase bodies switch explosion, whatever's going on there. Very fun to watch. Um. I'll put, do a nitpick here though. Nobody, none of this dream team suspicious at all. That the alien with superior intelligence might have rigged any part of this.
36:13 Chris Ryan? No, they're like, let's go back to the hotel and get plowed.
36:15 Speaker 04 Yeah. Well, I mean, she sees some Long Island STs.
36:18 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
36:18 Bill Simmons? And then, uh, the last one I have is everyone gets horny.
36:22 Chris Ryan? Dueling sex scenes.
36:23 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
36:23 Speaker 04 Yeah.
36:24 Bill Simmons? Marge was, really seemed like she was enjoying the scenes.
36:28 Speaker 04 She gets the.
36:28 Chris Ryan? I don't wanna step on half ass internet's research, but apparently that scene was basically improvised by Helgenberger and.
36:36 Bill Simmons? That was in my research as well.
36:38 Chris Ryan? The blowjob? Yeah. They were like, but that's, honestly, you know what I mean? Like, it's like, oh, shit's getting real here on Species, yo.
36:45 Speaker 04 Yeah.
36:46 Chris Ryan? These are two consenting adults.
36:48 Speaker 04 Stand up. Stand up.
36:49 Bill Simmons? I mean, I had it as a category later. Did this movie need a better, the Steven Seagal award for did this movie need a better intimacy coordinator? Marge and Michael, like, keep that intimacy coordinator over there.
37:00 Speaker 04 Waving them off, Allen Iverson style. Clear out. Clear out. Like, we, we, we got this.
37:09 Bill Simmons? Do you know that Segal movie? That's where we have that category. Where he's just going at it. With this, he's like a cop who's just going at it with this lady who, I think it's his wife, who just ends up getting murdered.
37:21 Speaker 04 Wait a minute, which one? You're talking about Kelly LeBrock?
37:24 Bill Simmons? It's the first one we, yeah, no, no, it's not the Kelly LeBrock one. It's the second one Kyle and I did. What was that?
37:29 Speaker 04 Al for Justice?
37:30 Bill Simmons? No, we just did that one. Above the Law?
37:32 Chris Ryan? Above the Law, man.
37:34 Speaker 04 Above the Law is, no.
37:35 Bill Simmons? And she gets gunned down, but Segal is like, they're like, it's like uncomfortable.
37:39 Speaker 04 I don't know if I've, I don't know if I've.
37:40 Bill Simmons? I don't think we've done Mark for Death.
37:41 Speaker 04 Yeah.
37:42 Bill Simmons? Anyway, what do you have for most rewatchable CR?
37:44 Chris Ryan? Uh, I think doing sex scenes at the end. Yeah.
37:47 Speaker 04 Yeah, that's clearly the answer because Henstrich is going for it in that sex scene. Like.
37:57 Bill Simmons? Melina was never the same. He's throwing firecrackers a year later.
38:01 Speaker 04 He, she is going for it in that sex scene. I really had to focus watching this movie. I'm sorry, I apologize, guys. Apologize to the listeners.
38:09 Bill Simmons? I love the Hollywood Hills, that whole scene is great. That's my favorite part.
38:13 Speaker 04 Oh, really? The hot tub, the, the.
38:15 Chris Ryan? Robbie.
38:15 Speaker 04 Robbie.
38:15 Bill Simmons? I just, I just love that whole section is just great.
38:18 Speaker 04 Bill, you see yourself as Robbie, huh?
38:20 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
38:21 Speaker 04 In like another life, you're like.
38:23 Bill Simmons? Could have happened. Two moves away. What's the most 1995 thing about this movie?
38:30 Bill Simmons? I mean, Michelle Williams as young Natasha Andridge.
38:34 Chris Ryan? She's, she's disavowed this film.
38:36 Bill Simmons? Yeah, I know.
38:40 Bill Simmons? But she's like, hasn't disavowed Dawson's Creek?
38:44 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
38:45 Chris Ryan? I would have loved to have been like on the, the junket for Manchester by the Sea. And just ask her. And be like, great work, but in species. Did you have to eat all those chocolate puddings or were those stuck puddings?
38:58 Speaker 04 Why'd you kill the train conductor?
39:00 Bill Simmons? Uh, 1995. She has that little portable Sony TV that only existed for like three years. That has to be the answer, right?
39:08 Chris Ryan? Did you ever have one of those?
39:09 Bill Simmons? Of course I did. You kidding?
39:11 Speaker 04 You had that portable TV?
39:12 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
39:13 Chris Ryan? You still have a Vision Pro. What are you making fun of him for?
39:16 Speaker 04 The Vision, the Vision Pro has come back around to the Vision Pro.
39:19 Chris Ryan? No, it looked like it weighed 15 pounds.
39:21 Bill Simmons? You could get, yeah, they were like walkie talkies and they had these tiny screens, but you could get, it was great for sports. Like you could get the local whatever.
39:28 Chris Ryan? Uh, I have a 1995 thing, but like, do you think that F1 is going to be cool with the Vision Pro?
39:34 Speaker 04 Um, it would be awesome because it'll be specifically done for Apple.
39:37 Chris Ryan? You think they're doing it that way?
39:38 Speaker 04 Yeah, but the Vision Pros come back though because it was stupid, but now it's come back because the NBA app has caught up to the technology and the NBA app has caught up to the Vision Pro and now watching a game on your Vision Pro is fucking amazing.
39:52 Bill Simmons? Are you gonna be able to see LeBron selling, he's standing in the corner as Luca dribbles for 20 seconds? Will I have a better view of that?
39:57 Speaker 04 Probably so.
39:59 Bill Simmons? I have a court time. Fuck, this is how we're gonna do this again? Great, alright, I'll just be over here.
40:04 Bill Simmons? End of, end of the movie horrible special effects I had as well for 95.
40:08 Chris Ryan? I just had the, uh, the paper credit card authorization machine.
40:12 Bill Simmons? Oh, that's a good one.
40:13 Speaker 04 So I have both of those, the analog thing. I haven't seen one of those in years. And you know what else is so 95 about this movie? Everybody is so thin. Molina, thin Alfred Molina, thin. Everybody, they, they all look so fucking young when I, cause these actors go on to be people that you see in
40:32 Bill Simmons? Right.
40:32 Speaker 04 all kinds of movies. The first thing, oh my God.
40:36 Bill Simmons? What's age the best, speaking of Molina?
40:39 Bill Simmons? Just that I, IMDB stretch for him where it's species and, uh, boogie nights within each other. Just impressed. Um, I have, uh, I have a bunch of stuff. You, you go see our.
40:50 Chris Ryan? Got a couple. Number one is just, uh, just a quick shot of Mattson watching hockey.
40:56 Bill Simmons? I was trying to figure out what game that was.
40:58 Chris Ryan? I think it was the Team USA game. I tried to zoom in.
41:00 Bill Simmons? Yeah, it was an NHL game. I couldn't.
41:02 Chris Ryan? Uh, but just like him being two beers deep watching hockey when he gets the call, then that still is at the club.
41:08 Bill Simmons? He's like, oh, time to catch the whole third period.
41:14 Chris Ryan? We, I want to talk about Forrest Whitaker and being an empath. The Dan walking into the train car, seeing a dead woman in the husk of an alien uterus and saying, "Something bad happened here."
41:23 Speaker 04 Something bad happened here. No fucking shit. I laughed. Like, "Something bad happened here. What are you talking about?" It's an extraterrestrial cocoon.
41:31 Chris Ryan? And?
41:34 Bill Simmons? I didn't know whether to put him in what's age the best or what's age the worst.
41:37 Chris Ryan? It's kind of both, but this time around, I was like, this is amazing. Where does this guy work? Is there any certification for his gifts?
41:45 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
41:45 Chris Ryan? Half of it is just like, "Ah, it's hot in here."
41:49 Speaker 04 Right, yeah. Like, somebody was hot, or somebody was hot in here.
41:52 Chris Ryan? They're like in a restaurant and he's like, "She was hungry."
41:58 Bill Simmons? Yeah, he does like the, "She was scared."
42:00 Chris Ryan? Oh.
42:01 Bill Simmons? Yeah. It's like, "She probably was scared. She's an alien."
42:03 Chris Ryan? There's moments where he's like touching the, like the cement, the ground, like the dirt to see which direction she went in. I'm like, "What does that have to do with being an empath?" Sunny Hayes touching the track.
42:12 Speaker 04 His powers are completely inconsistent in the movie. Does he have the power to know somebody's feelings?
42:18 Bill Simmons? He knew somebody was at the door before they knocked.
42:20 Chris Ryan? It's crazy.
42:21 Bill Simmons? He might just have crazy hearing.
42:23 Speaker 04 Well, I don't know. At first I just thought it was ESP when I first saw the movie, crazy hearing. Like, he's a mutant of some sort.
42:30 Bill Simmons? Well, cause he, cause he heard the guy at the door. Maybe he's just like, he's kind of like an overdeveloped.
42:35 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
42:35 Speaker 04 And then he starts, after a while throughout the movie, he starts taking her side. Really, he doesn't start taking her, he's on her side the whole time.
42:41 Bill Simmons? Right.
42:42 Speaker 04 She's a living being. She's scared.
42:43 Bill Simmons? So she doesn't kill him.
42:44 Speaker 04 Yeah.
42:45 Chris Ryan? That's right.
42:46 Bill Simmons? It's an inexplicable character. And I think a huge part of why I like this movie, cause it's, I just can't believe this was the best they could do. They put the least thought into, first of all, what's an empath? Have you ever met one?
43:00 Chris Ryan? Um, now it's like, people are like, "I'm very empathic."
43:02 Speaker 04 Everyone is an empath now.
43:06 Chris Ryan? It just means you're like sensitive.
43:09 Bill Simmons? As a job?
43:10 Speaker 04 Bill, no.
43:11 Chris Ryan? No, as a personality characteristic.
43:13 Speaker 04 Now, for like ladies who have like-
43:15 Chris Ryan? Don't worry, you're not.
43:16 Speaker 04 Right. No, you are the opposite of an empath. You're like, okay, you're the opposite. But for ladies that have like, for ladies that have like waist beads and want to know your birth chart and stuff like that-
43:28 Bill Simmons? But is this a job?
43:29 Speaker 04 It's not a job.
43:30 Bill Simmons? A social media like hobby?
43:31 Speaker 04 It's no, it's not a job. It's like when you're feeling bad, I feel bad. I'm an empath. I mirror your feelings and all of that stuff like that.
43:39 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
43:39 Speaker 04 It's a thing.
43:40 Bill Simmons? So you're basically a golden retriever.
43:43 Bill Simmons? Golden retrievers mirror their humans. If humans are sad, happy.
43:46 Chris Ryan? How did the CIA know about him?
43:49 Bill Simmons? They went on empath.com.
43:51 Chris Ryan? Yeah, seriously. They were on the 1995 version of Indeed, just like-
43:56 Speaker 04 They tracking him? Like, why?
43:58 Bill Simmons? So Kalika says to you, hey,
44:02 Bill Simmons? Denise is coming over tonight. And you're like, the empath?
44:04 Speaker 04 Exactly.
44:05 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
44:05 Speaker 04 Alright.
44:06 Bill Simmons? Yeah, she's still doing that? Yeah, yeah, no, it's going well.
44:09 Speaker 04 Or-
44:09 Bill Simmons? Had some empath sessions.
44:11 Speaker 04 Or you're in a LA conversation at a party, somebody has a couple of buns of coke and they go, because the thing about me is I'm a fucking empath.
44:21 Speaker 04 And I can't handle all of this negativity from everyone.
44:24 Chris Ryan? If we're talking about Dan, though, I did, I was gonna bring this up later, but
44:29 Chris Ryan? is Tony Romo kind of an empath?
44:31 Bill Simmons? Oh, with, with plays?
44:32 Chris Ryan? Predicting the plays?
44:33 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
44:34 Chris Ryan? You know, like, because he's like a little, I guess it's a little bit more predictive rather than reactive. It would be like if Romo was like, I knew they were gonna blitz Jim, like, you know, like after the blitz? But there's something like, I was trying to imagine what Dan would be like as an announcer, as a sports announcer.
44:50 Bill Simmons? Well, or flip it, Tony Romo in the empath role in this movie, like, she was hungry, Jim!
44:57 Bill Simmons? She got threatened!
44:58 Chris Ryan? She just wants to procreate, Jimmy! Natural imperative!
45:01 Bill Simmons? Very horny.
45:02 Speaker 04 But Forest Whitaker, though, for, for a very long stretch of his career, was just an expert at playing weird, off-kilter characters.
45:11 Chris Ryan? Yes.
45:12 Speaker 04 Like fucking Ghost Dog Dis or Raging Harlem, which is a great fucking movie. And he just playing weird, like a bigger guy but could play mousy real well, soft spoken real well.
45:24 Bill Simmons? Um, yeah, Laura would say the best because I have a couple.
45:28 Chris Ryan? Laura and Preston's sex scene.
45:31 Bill Simmons? Good one. Yeah, they felt frisky.
45:33 Speaker 04 Oh, that was a, that sex scene was actually hotter than anything that Natasha was into.
45:41 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
45:41 Speaker 04 Because she was taking charge. That means.
45:44 Bill Simmons? I liked the little fist pump by herself in the hotel room that Madsen showed up.
45:48 Speaker 04 Yeah.
45:48 Bill Simmons? She's playing her little game. It actually worked. Um, I could have, uh, I could have watched Natasha shopping in downtown LA for a couple more scenes.
45:59 Speaker 04 In the bridal dress.
46:00 Chris Ryan? Like the Snow White outfit. Yeah.
46:02 Bill Simmons? Like imagine her in downtown LA right now, just popping through different stores.
46:08 Bill Simmons? Also, like she should have bought a couple weird things.
46:10 Chris Ryan? Yeah, well.
46:11 Bill Simmons? Are those headphones? Bluetooth headphones?
46:13 Chris Ryan? Yeah, that she bought. Yeah, that would be funny. Or if she just had like a Walkman and was walking around.
46:17 Bill Simmons? Right.
46:20 Bill Simmons? I like when aliens, foreigners and grown up kids and adult bodies watch hotel room TVs. I think it's worked over and over again. Borat, Big, this movie. It's a good gimmick of people. I'm scared. I'll take comfort in this TV. I'm experiencing.
46:37 Chris Ryan? Everything I learned.
46:37 Bill Simmons? Culture. Yeah, I like that whole thing.
46:39 Speaker 04 You see like sex, violence, all of that in one thing.
46:42 Bill Simmons? How about a science fixture, science fiction slash horror movie where the black character survives?
46:50 Speaker 04 That's well.
46:51 Chris Ryan? Notable.
46:51 Bill Simmons? It's like this is almost a unicorn.
46:53 Speaker 04 It is, but at the same time.
46:55 Bill Simmons? Normally he's dead the first hour.
46:57 Speaker 04 At the same time, they had to stay consistent because that nicest on the train gets her shit fucked up. So they had to, they had to feed them water. Like she gets fucked up.
47:08 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
47:08 Speaker 04 She did nothing but be nice.
47:10 Bill Simmons? Tough death.
47:13 Chris Ryan? Infected rats. That was a good, that was a good gimmick. Good ending for this. Yeah.
47:18 Bill Simmons? Probably would have been a better sequel. I don't remember the sequel. I only saw it once. Uh, not in the theater.
47:23 Chris Ryan? I don't think I saw Species.
47:24 Bill Simmons? Really, really poorly reviewed. Like, like the kind of reviews where like, just if you're gonna go see this, like, just drive your car, no telephone pole.
47:31 Chris Ryan? Because what lives, it's just like the little arm still is still moving around and then the rat, yeah.
47:39 Bill Simmons? I think we've done this before with, and I forget what movie it was, but sometimes a movie that's not that big will have this incredibly detailed Wikipedia page.
47:48 Chris Ryan? It's so long.
47:49 Bill Simmons? And it's clear somebody involved with the movie.
47:52 Chris Ryan? Is on there.
47:53 Bill Simmons? Is wrote a lot of the stuff. So I do have a suspect. Screenwriter Dennis Feldman. There's just a lot of his process in the Wikipedia page, like a lot. When I say a lot, like paragraph after paragraph, or like then in the sixth draft.
48:08 Chris Ryan? There's more.
48:09 Bill Simmons? Screenwriter Dennis Feldman decided to do that. It's like, how do they know any of this?
48:12 Chris Ryan? There's more in this Wikipedia page than there would be in like the Luka Doncic trade Wikipedia page.
48:18 Bill Simmons? Or like the actual James Cameron Alien movie, like, or Aliens 2, like that, like, I, I just couldn't believe how detailed it was. And I just was picturing, I don't know if he did it or not, but this Dennis Feldman, like, I'm gonna add one more thing to the Wikipedia page. I gotta tell them about the seventh draft of this movie when I had the idea for this.
48:35 Chris Ryan? There is actually suspiciously, like, it's really, they were like, it went through many rewrites, but everything you see is courtesy of Dennis Feldman.
48:44 Bill Simmons? Right, right. Uh, there's one part where they brought in, yeah, where they brought in a, a second screenwriter. And they just specifically say, but none of that was used. In the end, they went with Dennis Feldman's work. It was like, who cares?
49:01 Chris Ryan? Many people are saying, yeah.
49:06 Bill Simmons? Also, for what's aged the best, this is in the director's commentary. Ciara alluded to this before. Mattson said Ben Kingsley was protective of his chair on set and didn't like anyone touching it. So Mattson would purposely do things to it, including dumping garbage on it and hanging it from a crane.
49:23 Chris Ryan? It's really funny.
49:24 Bill Simmons? Ben Kingsley just like, how many more fucking days do I have on this movie too? Damn it. Any other I would say is the best, other than when the government has to go outside the box?
49:34 Speaker 04 I like a hunt or chase movie. When you get a ragtag group of people to solve a problem. Hey, I'm a microbiologist, I'm an empath, I'm this. Each one of these persons is expert in their field. And it's the only team that could crack the case.
49:50 Chris Ryan? I love that.
49:51 Speaker 04 I love that.
49:52 Bill Simmons? I still feel like when he said he was an empath, I would have had like five more questions.
49:55 Chris Ryan? Yeah, but be like, so, but like, is that like a-
49:58 Bill Simmons? You get paid for that?
49:58 Chris Ryan? Freelancer thing? A volunteer?
50:01 Bill Simmons? Can you work for a sports team?
50:03 Speaker 04 I have to say something real quick before we move on.
50:05 Chris Ryan? Let's hear it.
50:05 Speaker 04 Dennis Feldman is one of my favorite motherfuckers in the world. The movies that Dennis Feldman has done.
50:10 Chris Ryan? Let's hear it.
50:11 Speaker 04 Just one of the guys. All time Van Lathan classic.
50:15 Bill Simmons? It's on, it's, it's on the rewatchable schedule.
50:17 Speaker 04 The golden child.
50:19 Chris Ryan? Oh! Wow, that was a formative classic for me.
50:23 Speaker 04 Dennis Feldman wrote it. This movie, which I'd never know how many people have seen this movie. Have you guys seen a movie called Real Men with John Witter and Jim Belushi? Where, that is one of my favorite-
50:35 Chris Ryan? I have a very cool Real Men story.
50:38 Speaker 04 Oh, yeah?
50:38 Chris Ryan? When I was a kid, I went to film camp in, in Maine. It was pretty fun. And one of the things that we did was when we learned editing. They had this famous editor, Ralph Rosenbaum, who did like Eddie Hall and a bunch of other stuff. But he showed us Real Men. He showed us the version of Real Men before he like went back in and cut it. And it was like so bad, but then when he, he was like, and here's what I did. We were like, oh my God, the editor is the most important person on the set, like, or the most important person in the productions. It was very cool.
51:13 Bill Simmons? Can we go back to film camp?
51:14 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
51:15 Speaker 04 I would love to.
51:16 Bill Simmons? What was going on? Any, any girls?
51:17 Chris Ryan? Uh, no.
51:19 Bill Simmons? Like forty guys?
51:19 Chris Ryan? There was, it was a largely male thing. I, I wound up starring in and directing a short called The Dirty Bag, which is about a kid on a BMX bike who finds like a bag of drug money. And then gets chased by hitmen across this town in Maine.
51:36 Speaker 07 We got footage of this?
51:37 Chris Ryan? Yeah, I still have it.
51:38 Bill Simmons? Can we put it on Ringer Movie?
51:40 Speaker 04 Yeah, that's a pretty good for me.
51:42 Chris Ryan? It's tough because a lot of it is scored to Jimi Hendrix, but we did not clear that.
51:49 Chris Ryan? And Zeppelin. Jimmy's the state then inside.
51:52 Speaker 04 I'm telling you, man.
51:53 Chris Ryan? Brock Iver's like writing a hundred million dollar checks to Led Zeppelin. I'm like, I got that.
51:56 Speaker 04 Eighty-six, eighty-seven, you get Christian Slater, you put him on the BMX.
52:00 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
52:00 Speaker 04 He was like a gleam in the cube type deal.
52:02 Chris Ryan? Very inspired by Rad and Gleam in the Cube.
52:04 Bill Simmons? Wow. This now sounds like an eight twenty-four coming of age story of CR at film camp thirty years ago.
52:11 Chris Ryan? I know.
52:11 Bill Simmons? Right.
52:12 Chris Ryan? It was awesome.
52:13 Bill Simmons? There was no girl, like there was no wannabe actress.
52:15 Chris Ryan? I did not have a romantic.
52:16 Speaker 04 Maybe.
52:17 Chris Ryan? Situation.
52:17 Speaker 04 Maybe there are different experiences that could be had at CR's film camp.
52:20 Bill Simmons? Not gonna judge.
52:23 Bill Simmons? You have any What's Haged the Best fan or can we move on?
52:25 Speaker 04 That's just the, the, the, the, the Hunt type chase movie.
52:29 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
52:29 Speaker 04 Is Haged.
52:30 Bill Simmons? Big Kuna Burger were for best use of food or drink. All the shit that little kid ate in the train.
52:34 Chris Ryan? Oh, yeah.
52:35 Bill Simmons? Great scene.
52:35 Chris Ryan? Banana with the peel still on.
52:37 Bill Simmons? Puddings. Yeah, the banana with the peel on is great.
52:40 Speaker 04 All of that. The Long Island iced teas.
52:42 Bill Simmons? That's a good one.
52:42 Chris Ryan? That's a good one.
52:43 Speaker 04 Yeah.
52:44 Bill Simmons? Great shot, Gordo. Most cinematic shot would be.
52:47 Chris Ryan? Just need to say, this movie was shot by Andre Bartoviac, who did a bunch of Sidney Lumet stuff. He like shot like Prince of the City. He shot Speed. And it was just like that moment where like, some of the greatest cinematographers would be like, yeah, I guess I'm shooting species.
53:01 Bill Simmons? Right.
53:02 Chris Ryan? So I think, I don't have a shot, but it looks pretty good.
53:05 Bill Simmons? I was gonna say though, her coming out of the cocoon in the train.
53:08 Chris Ryan? Yeah, that's a good one.
53:09 Bill Simmons? Because they had to invert the train to make it work so she could fall the way they did it.
53:14 Chris Ryan? I think they also did a really good job.
53:15 Bill Simmons? So she jumped out.
53:16 Chris Ryan? Making the Biltmore look awesome.
53:18 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
53:18 Chris Ryan? Downtown. So I've never actually been in.
53:20 Bill Simmons? We forgot to say this was directed by Roger Donaldson, who did some fun ones over there, including No Way Out.
53:27 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
53:27 Chris Ryan? How many Donaldson's?
53:28 Bill Simmons? Craig loves, Craig loved No Way Out.
53:29 Speaker 07 Yeah, that movie rips.
53:30 Speaker 04 Yeah. That's a very Craig-coded movie, though.
53:33 Chris Ryan? Did he do Air Force One?
53:34 Speaker 07 Cause I'm secretly Russian spy.
53:35 Bill Simmons? I think he did.
53:36 Speaker 04 Could be.
53:36 Bill Simmons? Craig didn't think Sean Young was hot in that movie, though. It was.
53:39 Speaker 04 Craig, you're off your fucking rocker, dawg.
53:41 Speaker 07 Not hot, not good in it.
53:42 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
53:42 Speaker 04 You, you, no, so no Sean Young, not beautiful.
53:44 Speaker 07 You know Sean Young, I knew about Sean Young from Ace Ventura.
53:48 Speaker 04 Pet Detective, oh, that colored jerk, that changes, Finkel, I horn.
53:52 Bill Simmons? Your guy Roger Donaldson also did, uh, The Getaway.
53:55 Chris Ryan? We've done, he also did Cocktail.
53:59 Bill Simmons? He did. That's why he's one of the great directors.
54:01 Chris Ryan? And I think we we might do 13 days at some point.
54:04 Speaker 04 Oh, I like that.
54:05 Bill Simmons? Possible. And the recruit with your guy?
54:07 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
54:07 Speaker 04 Look.
54:08 Chris Ryan? With Colin.
54:09 Speaker 04 Cool movies.
54:10 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
54:10 Speaker 04 Just like, cool movies.
54:12 Bill Simmons? The Cadillac Man, which people liked, did the bounty.
54:15 Speaker 04 As far as shots, though, what about the defining shot of this movie, which I feel like was the tongue coming through the back of the guy's head?
54:22 Speaker 04 Cinematic, maybe not so, but like, very affecting in selling your film.
54:25 Chris Ryan? That's probably the most memorable shot.
54:27 Bill Simmons? Right. It won Best Kiss at the 1996 MTV Movie Awards.
54:31 Chris Ryan? Yeah. And they recreated the kiss, which is not the head thing.
54:36 Bill Simmons? Kid Cudi's set of happiness were for Best Needle Drop. I couldn't, the 90s club.
54:41 Chris Ryan? I think in id, they're listening to the crystal method, which is a very 90s.
54:45 Bill Simmons? Yeah, I think they could have dialed that up. They could have gone really early on.
54:50 Chris Ryan? EDM.
54:51 Bill Simmons? Yeah, like early, early Moby, somebody like that. We could have been like, oh.
54:55 Speaker 04 Oh, shit.
54:55 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
54:56 Chris Ryan? Tricky.
54:56 Bill Simmons? It's kind of between errors.
54:57 Chris Ryan? On the alien, they weren't about to go give Moby any cash.
55:00 Bill Simmons? Chess Rockwell, Brock Linters were best character name. Xavier Fitch is Ben Kingsley's name.
55:06 Chris Ryan? I think Preston Lennox.
55:07 Speaker 04 Preston Lennox is a crazy.
55:08 Bill Simmons? Second round draft pick for the Cleveland Cavaliers. They took Xavier Fitch. It's a combo guard. Preston Lennox is good, though. So we're adding the Ed Norton Reverse Dunk Award for Did This Movie Need A Random Sports Scene? I I have mine.
55:21 Chris Ryan? I have mine as well.
55:22 Bill Simmons? Go. What's yours?
55:23 Chris Ryan? Why, when Syl is sleeping at the beach, why can't she stop by the Venice Courts and do a white man can't jump?
55:29 Speaker 04 Get some in?
55:30 Chris Ryan? Just hustle some dudes.
55:31 Bill Simmons? It's it's glaring. I mean, there's so many missed opportunities in this movie that I just wish there had been a conciliary for, but she wakes up. There should definitely be a basketball game going on. She should be watching it. One of the players should hit on her. And that's just like a quick kill. That could have taken like 90 seconds.
55:48 Chris Ryan? Probably would have been beach volleyball, let's be honest.
55:49 Speaker 04 Maybe, but.
55:50 Chris Ryan? Yeah, but can you imagine her blocking a shot and destroying the ball? Like, or something? She's been like, oh.
55:56 Bill Simmons? Or her wandering on a beach volleyball court naked and just.
55:59 Speaker 04 They're all out there playing. But the movie I have, the movie is missing the Lakers. The Lakers should have been in there somewhere, because it's a very LA movie.
56:07 Chris Ryan? 95 Lakers is what?
56:09 Bill Simmons? She goes to a Laker game?
56:10 Speaker 04 Like, she goes to a Laker game where the Lakers.
56:12 Bill Simmons? Clipper game is more realistic.
56:14 Speaker 04 Because she can get in for like $200 in a full court.
56:16 Bill Simmons? She studies the cheerleaders and then just ends up replacing one of them.
56:19 Chris Ryan? So this would have been, um, early McDyce on the Clippers?
56:23 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
56:24 Chris Ryan? Brent Barry, she may, you know, she could have been like Brent Barry, she could have met at the club, maybe.
56:29 Speaker 04 Boy, if Britt Barry would have played.
56:30 Bill Simmons? Stanley Roberts?
56:31 Speaker 04 Yeah.
56:33 Bill Simmons? Uh, Sierra, what do you have for a flex category?
56:37 Chris Ryan? I have the George LRB two weeks with pay, Van and I can, can, can cook on this one, but Xavier Finch seems like he has a lot of responsibility with very little oversight and just takes too many chances.
56:51 Speaker 04 Ben Kingsley is horrible in all aspects.
56:54 Chris Ryan? First of all, like if you've got the entire military disposal, there's a lot of more effective ways to kill an alien than gassing it. I guess that was supposed to be humane. I don't know, but like, it just seemed like she, she checkmates that and they're like, fuck, I guess we lost her. Like there's no stop safeguards against her getting out.
57:11 Speaker 04 By the way, you can't, we can't tell the trains would shut down.
57:14 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
57:15 Speaker 04 You're aware, you're aware of her biology. You have not come up with a satisfactory way to kill her. You have not come up with a satisfactory way to find her.
57:23 Chris Ryan? You fucked it up so much that you have to kill her.
57:24 Speaker 04 Right.
57:25 Chris Ryan? Then you, uh, when the alien shows up in the form of an adorable girl, you use the most Bond villain method possible to kill her. And then when that fucks up, you hire a bunch of nerds instead of getting like SEAL Team Six to go after.
57:38 Bill Simmons? Right.
57:39 Speaker 04 You would get the Delta Force.
57:40 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
57:43 Speaker 04 You would get the Delta Force, put them in plain clothes, right? Those guys look like average guys. They're special forces operators and then you'd go out there and fire.
57:51 Chris Ryan? And how many people know that they're chasing an alien? Cause aren't more people like, why are we hunting this girl? Like she's, she's like the supervillain. Cause he said, he says in the beginning, like, I don't want everybody to find out that there's extra, extraterrestrial life. So we're trying to keep it contained.
58:07 Bill Simmons? Four random people.
58:07 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
58:08 Bill Simmons? Yeah. It's missing a scene where he tells his boss.
58:11 Speaker 04 Right.
58:11 Bill Simmons? Well, that's what he tells his boss. So what's, what's plan B? It's like, well, I got this, uh, this empath I've been looking at.
58:18 Speaker 04 At the end of the movie, the microbiologist has the fucking vest on with the rifle.
58:25 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
58:25 Speaker 04 She had the Erica Lineak it from, from, from under siege and they, they ended up becoming a, a strike team at the end.
58:32 Bill Simmons? Good rewatchable category. The Erica, Erica Lineak under siege award for how do you know how to work? Like.
58:40 Chris Ryan? Gull adjacent awards.
58:43 Bill Simmons? He's a hero.
58:44 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
58:46 Bill Simmons? Butch's Girlfriend Award weak link of the film is the, uh, the last 12 minutes.
58:49 Chris Ryan? Oh, I had, uh, the girl that, um, she kidnaps.
58:54 Speaker 04 Terrible.
58:54 Chris Ryan? That's just like, it actually doesn't matter that she's in the car that much.
58:58 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
58:59 Chris Ryan? They napalm that whole thing anyway, so I don't really know if they're like excavating it and it's just like 10 extra minutes.
59:04 Bill Simmons? Toughest death in the movie for you? That girl getting tortured and her finger cut off and then driving to her.
59:10 Chris Ryan? Oh, that's right. They get the DNA from that, but that's still stupid.
59:12 Bill Simmons? What was the worst way to die in this movie?
59:15 Speaker 04 Oh, the worst way to die for me was Alfred Molina because he had a high and then a low and he was experienced.
59:21 Bill Simmons? That's true. Great way to go out.
59:23 Chris Ryan? I'd rather be Molina than the girl in the toilet.
59:26 Speaker 04 Maybe, but Molina, there's always, have you guys ever been in a situation where things are going really good? And then they start going really bad. That one moment of realizing that you fucked up because this stuff never happens to you must be so profound. So I felt really bad for him because he did nothing wrong.
59:44 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
59:45 Speaker 04 He, she comes up to him, he goes, this kind of thing doesn't happen to me. And he's not like the other guy.
59:49 Chris Ryan? Well, he shouldn't have mansplained about how conception works, you know, that'll teach him.
59:54 Bill Simmons? I think he probably could have sniffed it out a little sooner.
59:57 Chris Ryan? Yes.
59:57 Bill Simmons? That something was up.
59:58 Speaker 04 Sniff it out. Sniff what out?
59:59 Bill Simmons? Just smoking hot, who just has like this obviously badly dyed hair.
1:00:03 Chris Ryan? Who looks just like the woman they've been chasing for two weeks.
1:00:06 Bill Simmons? Who immediately wants to mate with him.
1:00:07 Speaker 04 So you're saying it's his fault?
1:00:09 Bill Simmons? Yeah, I think he was asking for it a little bit.
1:00:11 Speaker 04 There you go.
1:00:12 Bill Simmons? I have the last 12 minutes. Once we get in the sewer, once, once Natasha's not Natasha anymore in this movie, it becomes a pretty conventional B movie. What's age the worst? Species 2.
1:00:24 Bill Simmons? Mattson said, it's lousy. I only did it for the paycheck. Uh, you could feel it. We talked about Forrest Whittaker. We talked about Hollywood Hills guy.
1:00:33 Speaker 04 I got one more thing.
1:00:34 Bill Simmons? I have one more, but you go.
1:00:35 Speaker 04 The Long Island iced tea. Nobody drinks those anymore.
1:00:39 Bill Simmons? No, because I think people like blackout after.
1:00:41 Chris Ryan? Yeah, I think they got a bad rap.
1:00:42 Speaker 04 They got a bad rap. Also, I remember they had, they have a ton of calories, right? They're very calorie dense. And then you have two of them, you're fucked. Like nobody drinks them anymore.
1:00:52 Bill Simmons? Long Island iced teas still at the clubs?
1:00:54 Speaker 07 Yeah, they're still around to be honest. I don't drink them a lot because they're too potent, but yeah, people still getting them.
1:00:59 Chris Ryan? I gotta say also, the Long Island iced tea thing is, are we supposed to believe Dan doesn't drink because he's Muslim? Oh, maybe. It's kind of fucked up that Malina's just like, no, no, no, you, we're gonna, we're gonna slip you some alcohol, even though your religious beliefs prohibit you from drinking. Malina's asking for it. Yeah.
1:01:19 Bill Simmons? Uh, I have, for what's age the worst, all the missed opportunities for Natasha to find a mate in Hollywood that they just left on the table, because she really only goes back to the same club once, like, easily could have gone to the Viper Room. Easily could have gone to the bar and swi- the place in Swingers where the old people Marty and Elaine play.
1:01:41 Chris Ryan? Can you imagine?
1:01:43 Bill Simmons? She'd go to Cantor.
1:01:44 Chris Ryan? Sil, Mike from-
1:01:45 Bill Simmons? I would have wanted some Hollywood landmarks. Go to Cantor. She just wants some corned beef.
1:01:49 Chris Ryan? Look at that beautiful baby they just walked in. I'm gonna talk to that beautiful baby and all fucking get some- But it's like if Fabro from Swingers calls Sil five times, is she just like, yes, hi? Would you like to have a baby?
1:02:00 Bill Simmons? I thought there was some Santa Monica, that whole area they just left on the table. There was some outdoor pool bar scene they could have had. I don't know why they kept going back to the club. Kingsley's like, this is what she knows. Like, how does he know?
1:02:11 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:02:11 Bill Simmons? He's a fucking mutated alien. He's, he, he has experience?
1:02:16 Chris Ryan? I, it's, it's a, it's a great question.
1:02:22 Bill Simmons? The rough low hand and Ruben Partridge overacting a word. Is it Forest Whitaker?
1:02:27 Chris Ryan? It, it has to be, but this is actually an underacted movie. I would say it's Forest Whitaker for the entire film, but Kingsley for the single tear.
1:02:35 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:02:36 Chris Ryan? This is like, what, what kind of combination-
1:02:38 Bill Simmons? Doesn't really work.
1:02:39 Chris Ryan? Of drops, do you think-
1:02:39 Bill Simmons? We might have to drop it.
1:02:40 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:02:41 Bill Simmons? From our movie recipe. Uh, all right, one more break and then we'll keep going. This episode is brought to you by Viori. When it comes to clothes that score high in both comfort and style, Viori is my MVP. Sunday performance joggers, oh yeah. They have the perfect, I could watch a game and then go out to dinner vibe. And the Meta pant, that's my number one, I need to look like I tried option. Get 20% off your first purchase at Viori.com/Simmons and discover the versatility of Viori clothing. Exclusions apply. Visit the website for full terms and conditions. This episode is brought to you by NOS Energy. Every ounce of dirt, sweat and gears, every checkered flag and trophy raised, every lap, every race, every hard fought place. They're all jammed inside every can of NOS Energy.
1:03:24 Bill Simmons? High performance energy for burning the midnight oil in the garage and pedal to the metal human horsepower for the streets. Go ahead, crack open a can of NOS Energy and get after it. All right, the CR thinks Luke Wilson could have been Harrison Ford hottest take award. Do you guys have one?
1:03:43 Chris Ryan? Would this movie have been more interesting? If the alien was like a six? Not an Ugo, but like, but like, just like at the club? And, and, and guys are like, yeah, yeah. Uh, uh, well, I guess.
1:04:03 Speaker 04 It's harder for her to find a mate.
1:04:05 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:04:07 Chris Ryan? And it becomes almost like a rom com where she's just like, God, none of these guys want to go home with me.
1:04:17 Chris Ryan? Like an LA six.
1:04:19 Bill Simmons? It would have fit in that rom com era where there was something wrong with every woman who just wanted to find love.
1:04:24 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:04:24 Bill Simmons? And in her case, it's like, I don't know.
1:04:26 Chris Ryan? It's not like Debbie Downer kind of, but like, it's just like, can you imagine if she was like five, five? People are like, yeah, sure. No, LA is crazy. It's, you know, it's hard to get to know anyone.
1:04:36 Bill Simmons? She's waiting in line to the club for an hour and a half to run in.
1:04:39 Chris Ryan? She's like, will you give me a baby? And everybody's like, no.
1:04:41 Speaker 04 No.
1:04:42 Chris Ryan? But that's nice to meet you. Like.
1:04:50 Bill Simmons? That killed me. What do you have, Van? Anything?
1:04:52 Speaker 04 Um, it just, it's gonna be really on the nose. The movie should have had more fucking.
1:04:59 Bill Simmons? There, yeah, this should have been either Hard R or NC 17.
1:05:02 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:05:02 Bill Simmons? My dad, it should have. It's a great call.
1:05:03 Speaker 04 There should have, the movie should have had more fucking, like, there should have been more fucking in the movie. Cause like, they, a lot of the stuff that they had in there was stuff that we didn't need to see. Like, as soon as she becomes grown up woman on the train, she'll pull somebody in the room, fuck them on the train.
1:05:21 Chris Ryan? Yeah, I don't know what her biological imperative is. Like, is it like, I need to mate immediately?
1:05:27 Speaker 04 Should have been that.
1:05:28 Bill Simmons? She, well, her, the imperative is I need to take over the human race.
1:05:32 Chris Ryan? Yes.
1:05:33 Bill Simmons? With my half babies.
1:05:35 Chris Ryan? Yeah, right.
1:05:36 Bill Simmons? Um, my hottest take.
1:05:39 Bill Simmons? It's gonna step on a later category. Are you scared?
1:05:42 Chris Ryan? No, I'm just so.
1:05:43 Bill Simmons? I just think there should have been a TV show. And I think you can make the case that if this is an HBO show in 1995, it becomes the first great cable one hour show that we have.
1:05:54 Chris Ryan? Do you want to sustain the level of nudity? That Henstridge is.
1:05:58 Bill Simmons? I think it's, you almost have to think about it like True Blood. Like, it's just like, this is a horny, crazy.
1:06:03 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:06:04 Bill Simmons? And it's like, almost like Cross the 24.
1:06:07 Chris Ryan? Oddball campy.
1:06:08 Bill Simmons? It's one week. They can't find her. She's just in LA doing all this different shit. And it's like, when she meets the Hollywood Hills guy, that's almost like half of an episode.
1:06:18 Chris Ryan? It's like.
1:06:18 Bill Simmons? You know what I mean?
1:06:19 Chris Ryan? X-Files comes out two years before this. But you could talk me into Madsen and Helgenberger being like Mulder and Scully. And they're kind of chasing Sil. But in the meantime, there's other mysteries for them to solve.
1:06:32 Speaker 04 There's mute, different types of mute, because this government agency is doing all kinds of crazy.
1:06:36 Chris Ryan? But also like Sil must have kids by then, so it's like.
1:06:39 Bill Simmons? I just think this is a rare case of there's so much in this movie, and they just rip through it in an hour and a half. And it's like, there's like nine things that would have worked for a TV show with this.
1:06:47 Chris Ryan? Dennis Feldman is listening going, I know!
1:06:50 Bill Simmons? Doing his Wikipedia, adding to it. No, but it's, it's like, I just think in 95, this would have been like a transformative show. There wasn't a one hour like this. Like Sopranos wasn't until 99.
1:07:01 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:07:02 Bill Simmons? You know, Oz was 97. So you'd be like, basically Species and Oz would have been on HBO. Would add nudity, which fit the HBO thing.
1:07:10 Speaker 04 Do you think there was a, an audience for it on HBO at that time?
1:07:13 Bill Simmons? Hundred thousand percent.
1:07:14 Speaker 04 They were so, they were in there.
1:07:16 Chris Ryan? At the very least, this would have been like a cool Cinemax show.
1:07:19 Speaker 04 Oh, Cinemax would have been.
1:07:20 Bill Simmons? They weren't doing it. The only ones, HBO and Showtime were the only two doing, that would have done a drama like this. I think maybe the Alien stuff would have been too expensive, but you could have made it so we didn't really see the Alien stuff.
1:07:31 Chris Ryan? Yeah, maybe once a year, you, you didn't need the.
1:07:33 Bill Simmons? Yeah, maybe the season finale.
1:07:34 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:07:35 Bill Simmons? I just think it would have ripped. And they could have, like Madsen, you could have killed her off after the first season. Then Madsen and Marge become like, attacked, I don't know. Lot of stuff there.
1:07:48 Bill Simmons? Casting whatevs. Pierce Brosnan was offered a part, but couldn't do it because he um had GoldenEye, but then ended up working with Roger Donaldson on Dante's Peak. So what part do we think?
1:07:59 Chris Ryan? I think it was Kingsley.
1:08:00 Bill Simmons? You think so?
1:08:00 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:08:00 Bill Simmons? You think Kingsley found out and was like, fuck this? Mailing and everything now? I'll give you the single tear and that's it, you motherfuckers.
1:08:12 Bill Simmons? Who knows?
1:08:14 Bill Simmons? Who knows if this is true, but Arnold Schwarzenegger was briefly interested in the script, but the budget wouldn't allow him.
1:08:21 Chris Ryan? I'd assume that would be Preston Martin.
1:08:23 Bill Simmons? Lennox, yeah.
1:08:24 Speaker 04 Would have been a totally different movie if he was involved.
1:08:26 Bill Simmons? He said, what if, uh, what if, what if press fucks the alien before he kills her?
1:08:30 Chris Ryan? What if they wanted Schwarzenegger for the empath?
1:08:34 Chris Ryan? Somebody didn't, somebody did not stand top fitness here.
1:08:40 Bill Simmons? Best that guy award.
1:08:41 Speaker 04 It's not Whip.
1:08:42 Bill Simmons? It's Whip.
1:08:43 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:08:44 Bill Simmons? He won before on St. Elmo's Fire.
1:08:45 Chris Ryan? Fucking Hollywood from Top Gun, man, yeah.
1:08:48 Bill Simmons? Those are his best three. Great, great IMDB. Dion Waiters award?
1:08:53 Chris Ryan? Michelle.
1:08:55 Bill Simmons? Sure, she's good.
1:08:57 Speaker 04 You know what I get?
1:08:57 Bill Simmons? Hollywood Hills date rape guy is a pretty good villain there in five minutes.
1:09:01 Speaker 04 Did a co, co winner, all the dead guys.
1:09:04 Bill Simmons? Oh.
1:09:05 Speaker 04 Like, all, besides Melina, all the dead guys, all the victims. They all have to, they all have to have their little Dion Waiters moment and then get killed.
1:09:14 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:09:15 Bill Simmons? I like the Michelle Williams, that's odd. Recasting couch director city. Ironically, Van brought him up before, but I had Vince Vaughn playing Hollywood Hills guy instead of Nick Wright.
1:09:27 Bill Simmons? He's like, look at this beautiful baby, what are you doing? Let me take you back to my crib, let's party. And he's just like full Vince Vaughn.
1:09:34 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:09:35 Bill Simmons? And then she kills him.
1:09:36 Chris Ryan? What if, and he's like, brings her back and he's like, let's just play NHL 95 all night?
1:09:41 Bill Simmons? My Brady Sue's here.
1:09:43 Speaker 04 Nick Wright, Nick Wright, you're gonna end up having to do a podcast with Nick Wright. You're gonna get mad.
1:09:47 Bill Simmons? What is he gonna get mad about? He looks like, first of all, it was CR. CR's gonna have to bite him on the watch.
1:09:54 Chris Ryan? Nick, we gotta squash it, yeah.
1:09:57 Bill Simmons? Um, oh Craig is a flex category.
1:10:00 Speaker 07 I um, they're honestly both tweaks of things that Chris and Van have already said. So one was the, did this movie need a better sex scene? I agree with Van. I thought it was a huge missed opportunity to not get Madsen and her in a room. I thought that's what the whole movie was leading up to.
1:10:15 Chris Ryan? That's like, there's a flash.
1:10:17 Speaker 07 She has like fantasies of him.
1:10:19 Chris Ryan? Yeah, I wonder if she's like that what?
1:10:21 Speaker 04 I feel like a proud dad. Craig, man, when I first started doing this shit, Craig was like, it's too many titties in the eighties. And look at him now, bona fide freak. Tell us about the scene, Craig.
1:10:33 Speaker 07 Look, this movie's about this. You know what I mean? It's not, there's not an unnecessary nudity in the movie. It's what the movie is about. But I'm like, there should have been like a love triangle where he's in the room with Sil with the brown hair. And then Dr. Baker comes in and is like, who's this? And there should have been something with that. I, I, it all led up to that moment.
1:10:52 Bill Simmons? Or he has sex with Marge. Fall, they fall asleep. Marge goes to like, go to the bathroom or something and Sil comes in. He thinks it's Marge. They did the single way female.
1:11:04 Chris Ryan? Oh, yeah.
1:11:05 Bill Simmons? Oh. Yeah.
1:11:07 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:11:08 Speaker 04 Works.
1:11:09 Chris Ryan? Do you, do you think that like, because she senses the weakness in Robbie? And then the dude in the pot tub is like, oh no, that's too fast. But she's having visions of Madsen? Is Madsen kind of like the alpha? Like he's like the best, the best of the best.
1:11:26 Bill Simmons? Take over the universe.
1:11:26 Chris Ryan? Sperm donors?
1:11:27 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:11:28 Speaker 07 And she had to settle for Melina because she was in a hurry.
1:11:31 Chris Ryan? Gotcha.
1:11:31 Bill Simmons? Yeah, cause she was about to get old.
1:11:33 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:11:33 Bill Simmons? Cause she, like the next day, she's, what, 48? She's going fast.
1:11:37 Chris Ryan? One of my unanswerable questions is like, what's Sil's? What's her aging like? Like, does she just turn into Betty White in a week or what?
1:11:46 Bill Simmons? Substance too. Um, half assed and research, uh, half assed and research. So was the design by H R Giger?
1:11:54 Chris Ryan? Yep.
1:11:55 Bill Simmons? Who designed the creatures in the Alien film?
1:11:57 Chris Ryan? Yes.
1:11:57 Bill Simmons? Do you know there was an Aliens 2?
1:12:02 Speaker 04 Ah, it's a joke, I missed it, yeah, okay.
1:12:05 Speaker 07 It's not, Chris wants to do Aliens, that's it, that's the whole joke.
1:12:08 Speaker 04 And Bill doesn't want to do it.
1:12:09 Bill Simmons? No, we're gonna do it.
1:12:12 Chris Ryan? He's gonna wait for me to go on vacation.
1:12:13 Bill Simmons? Trying to, uh... So, Geiger was unhappy, he thought the movie ripped off too many other Alien movies, including...
1:12:20 Chris Ryan? But he did the Alien.
1:12:21 Bill Simmons? The Chessbuster, they did that, like, they did, Species does things that have been in other movies, and apparently he got holier than now about it.
1:12:28 Speaker 04 But he worked on it.
1:12:29 Bill Simmons? He did, but he got mad about some of the stuff.
1:12:31 Chris Ryan? They gave him, like, all the money, it's like, they're like, we're not even paying Madsen so that you do these Aliens.
1:12:35 Bill Simmons? So then, he threw his body in front of whatever the ending initially was, and they ended up doing the headshot kill instead, because that hadn't been in an Alien movie. My advice would have been, like, a mild settle down for him.
1:12:47 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:12:48 Bill Simmons? These are Alien movies.
1:12:51 Bill Simmons? The Id Club was built in the Pantages Theater.
1:12:55 Chris Ryan? Oh, no shit.
1:12:56 Speaker 07 Very special.
1:12:56 Chris Ryan? How about that?
1:13:02 Bill Simmons? There's not really...
1:13:03 Chris Ryan? We talked about a bunch of it.
1:13:04 Bill Simmons? Yeah, we hit basically everything, except Alfred Molina recalled Natasha Henstridge was, uh, nervous on the day of their sex scene, because she'd never acted one before, and he said, "I've never been in one either", but he ate with a woman, because he had apparently been in one with a man in a movie and it broke the ice.
1:13:24 Chris Ryan? Oh, yeah.
1:13:24 Bill Simmons? He was very excited about that. I think I've called her Henstridge for the past hour.
1:13:30 Bill Simmons? Just call her Natasha, she should have dumped the last name, I think she could have done it.
1:13:33 Chris Ryan? Oh, like Madonna?
1:13:34 Bill Simmons? Start introducing Natasha. Apex Mountain, clearly Natasha.
1:13:38 Speaker 04 For sure.
1:13:39 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:13:39 Speaker 04 Yeah, for sure.
1:13:42 Bill Simmons? Madsen?
1:13:43 Chris Ryan? Uh, I would say probably Reservoir Dogs, or, well...
1:13:47 Bill Simmons? Well, Reservoir Dogs, like, didn't, wasn't a big thing in the movies. It became a thing by 95, after people had been watching it on VHS.
1:13:55 Speaker 04 There's just no possible way that this is his Apex Mountain.
1:13:57 Bill Simmons? This movie made over a hundred million dollars.
1:13:59 Chris Ryan? Honestly, and he's the lead.
1:14:00 Bill Simmons? I think it was.
1:14:00 Chris Ryan? I think you're right.
1:14:01 Bill Simmons? I think by 95, Reservoir Dogs had been, like, on VHS, had become a thing. I didn't see Reservoir Dogs for at least a year.
1:14:08 Speaker 04 I know, there's just no way.
1:14:10 Chris Ryan? This was a big movie, Dan.
1:14:11 Speaker 04 I get it, there's just, is, if you, if you were to say to somebody, "Michael Madsen", they'd name, like, five movies before they named this movie.
1:14:20 Bill Simmons? This is that range, though.
1:14:23 Speaker 04 Right.
1:14:23 Bill Simmons? Like, he passed up Pulp Fiction, like, he probably has the most juice right around here.
1:14:27 Speaker 04 At this time, I can maybe buy that.
1:14:28 Bill Simmons? Marge at CSI.
1:14:30 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:14:30 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:14:30 Chris Ryan? Definitely.
1:14:31 Bill Simmons? Killing it.
1:14:33 Bill Simmons? Ben Kingsley, no.
1:14:36 Bill Simmons? Horny alien movies? I don't know what the competition is. And I also don't know why we're not making more of them.
1:14:43 Speaker 04 It should.
1:14:44 Bill Simmons? Should be every five years.
1:14:45 Speaker 04 Alien is shocking. Want to fuck.
1:14:48 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:14:48 Chris Ryan? We really lost that as a society.
1:14:50 Bill Simmons? We have. Bring it back. Uh, Whittaker, no.
1:14:56 Bill Simmons? Mid nineties BMW convertibles, this is a really good one. There's some, there's a sideswipe thing on it near the end, it's like they cut a scene where she must have had an accident.
1:15:05 Chris Ryan? On the way to the beach, she, and then she wakes up and she's like, she's got her cars all fucked up.
1:15:10 Speaker 04 What is homie dropping in Speed?
1:15:14 Speaker 04 What is it?
1:15:14 Bill Simmons? Homie. I think it was BMW convertible.
1:15:16 Chris Ryan? That was BMW convertible, and then what's the one that's, um, on the Frank Ocean cover?
1:15:21 Speaker 04 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:15:23 Chris Ryan? That's a nice one. Does that be MW?
1:15:25 Speaker 04 I'm not sure, I have to think about it.
1:15:29 Bill Simmons? I don't have any of their Apex mounts.
1:15:30 Chris Ryan? Me neither.
1:15:31 Bill Simmons? Cruise or Hanks, what do you got?
1:15:34 Speaker 04 Just tough.
1:15:35 Chris Ryan? This is really hard.
1:15:36 Bill Simmons? You can go any age range of Cruise or Hanks.
1:15:38 Chris Ryan? I was told I couldn't do that last week.
1:15:40 Bill Simmons? No, you can.
1:15:41 Chris Ryan? Okay, uh, I would probably give.
1:15:45 Bill Simmons? You tried to cheat last week.
1:15:46 Chris Ryan? No, I didn't.
1:15:47 Bill Simmons? You tried to give him one of like the lesser roles.
1:15:48 Speaker 04 Hell, whoa.
1:15:50 Chris Ryan? Literally, one of the guys she picks up is, is Cocktail Cruise.
1:15:55 Bill Simmons? Or, or Magnolia Cruise?
1:15:57 Chris Ryan? Yeah. Oh, Magnolia.
1:15:59 Speaker 04 Oh.
1:16:00 Bill Simmons? He's Hollywood Hills guy?
1:16:01 Speaker 04 The long hair?
1:16:02 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:16:03 Chris Ryan? That's good.
1:16:04 Bill Simmons? I was gonna say Cruise now in the Ben Kingsley role.
1:16:08 Speaker 04 Interesting.
1:16:09 Bill Simmons? Doing a couple like old man Tom Cruise things. But he'd probably want to be the hero.
1:16:13 Chris Ryan? But it's Cruise, not Hanks. I don't see Hanks being able to keep a straight face in this movie.
1:16:16 Speaker 04 I got Cruise as the Michael Madsen guy, get some running. You gotta run after the A.
1:16:23 Bill Simmons? Does get him running.
1:16:24 Speaker 04 You got, he's very dynamic, can get more things, maybe a couple of great stunts.
1:16:28 Bill Simmons? Natasha's probably like two inches taller than him, that'd be a problem.
1:16:31 Speaker 04 Uh, she's probably two inches taller, but at that point, she's also, if Cruise is in the movie, she's gonna have to be between 20 and 25 years old anyway.
1:16:40 Bill Simmons? Scorsese or Spielberg?
1:16:42 Chris Ryan? Spielberg.
1:16:44 Speaker 04 Spielberg.
1:16:44 Bill Simmons? I had Scorsese.
1:16:46 Chris Ryan? Interesting.
1:16:46 Bill Simmons? I wanted his gritty, sex alien movie. With steeped in Catholic guilt.
1:16:51 Speaker 04 What's the most sci fi he's ever done? Like Shutter Island?
1:16:54 Chris Ryan? Uh, yeah, I think you're right.
1:16:56 Bill Simmons? Instead of an empath that's a Catholic priest.
1:16:58 Chris Ryan? Last Temptation of Christ.
1:16:59 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:17:00 Speaker 04 Sci fi.
1:17:02 Bill Simmons? Philip Seymour Hoffman role? Probably the Molina part?
1:17:06 Chris Ryan? Yeah, that or, uh, uh, the guy who, the Palisades guy. Whip you good part.
1:17:13 Speaker 04 But the Molina part is pretty perfect for him.
1:17:15 Chris Ryan? Hey, let's take a picture of Milk.
1:17:17 Bill Simmons? Palisades guy, he had his Polaroid camera, he had a charcuterie board. Nice quiet neighborhood.
1:17:22 Speaker 04 Nice guy.
1:17:23 Chris Ryan? High credit limit.
1:17:24 Speaker 04 Also.
1:17:25 Bill Simmons? She's got promoted at work.
1:17:26 Speaker 04 Hey, this is fast for me. Hey, he just wants to wine and dine a little bit, and what does he get?
1:17:30 Chris Ryan? Do you think that's the Dennis Feldman avatar? You think Dennis saw himself as the Palisades guy?
1:17:34 Bill Simmons? He should put that in the Wikipedia.
1:17:38 Bill Simmons? I had that, uh, I'll just do this now for picking nits. Anyone in 1995 turning down sex or being like, this is too fast?
1:17:47 Speaker 04 Especially that guy.
1:17:48 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:17:48 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:17:49 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:17:49 Bill Simmons? Really, you want, really? We ready?
1:17:51 Speaker 04 What's the purpose of having a mansion in the Palisades with a pool? If sex?
1:17:57 Bill Simmons? And a hot tub.
1:17:57 Speaker 07 So screwed up though, because she said, everything's kind of going fine.
1:18:00 Chris Ryan? And then she makes it too intense.
1:18:02 Speaker 07 I want a baby. And he's like, ah. I think someone's at the door.
1:18:06 Speaker 00 Don't go. Please. I want a baby.
1:18:10 Speaker 07 What? Excuse me?
1:18:18 Speaker 07 I feel like that's reasonable.
1:18:20 Bill Simmons? It was almost like she hadn't had social interactions for 24 hours.
1:18:25 Speaker 04 I'm going.
1:18:29 Speaker 04 Okay? I'm going.
1:18:31 Bill Simmons? Alright.
1:18:32 Chris Ryan? It's full send.
1:18:33 Bill Simmons? Yeah. Oh, we rarely get to do this category.
1:18:38 Bill Simmons? How would Van Lathan get out of this one?
1:18:41 Speaker 07 He wouldn't.
1:18:43 Bill Simmons? Yeah, clearly. Single Van brings Sil back to the crib, and she's moving really fast, and you realize she might be an alien. How do you get out of it?
1:18:52 Speaker 04 Okay, so I realized that she might be an alien.
1:18:55 Bill Simmons? Or you realize something is way off, and you need to, you need to abort the night. How do you, how do you get her out of the house?
1:19:03 Speaker 04 Oh, how do I get her out of the house?
1:19:04 Bill Simmons? How do you get out of the house? How do you not die?
1:19:05 Speaker 04 Well, that's never gonna happen. I'm gonna do something different.
1:19:10 Bill Simmons? Okay, that's how you get out of it.
1:19:11 Speaker 04 Right, so I realized that she's an alien, and I say, "Look, you don't have to kill me after we have sex, because we're going to have sex."
1:19:19 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:19:20 Speaker 04 I'm gonna take this.
1:19:20 Bill Simmons? I'm gonna give you what you want.
1:19:21 Chris Ryan? Right, you don't have to pray mantis.
1:19:23 Bill Simmons? We're on the same team.
1:19:23 Speaker 04 You don't have to pray mantis this. What's better than one alien baby? Five.
1:19:33 Chris Ryan? And, and I'll be there for the housework.
1:19:34 Bill Simmons? And I'll be there. You can pump these things back. We'll start again. Pump that baby out. Ready right now.
1:19:40 Speaker 04 Right, let's be honest. You wanna start a whole new world? This one hasn't been particularly good for my people. I'm with you.
1:19:47 Speaker 04 Like, let's go for it. Me and you against the world, baby.
1:19:51 Bill Simmons? Yeah, so team up.
1:19:52 Speaker 04 Team up.
1:19:52 Bill Simmons? That's how you get out.
1:19:53 Speaker 04 That's how you get out of it.
1:19:54 Bill Simmons? I like it. Picking nits. My favorite one in this whole movie, Mattson's character, this tough guy. The first time we see him, he's handing a cat to his cat sitter.
1:20:05 Chris Ryan? Awesome moment. I have a feeling that was a Mattson. They're like, "You know what would throw people off is if I had a cat."
1:20:12 Bill Simmons? It's so stupid.
1:20:13 Chris Ryan? Donaldson's like, "Whatever, man. I just need the shot."
1:20:16 Bill Simmons? How is it not like, uh, like a rottweiler or some, like some sort of cool Michael Mattson dog? He's got a cat.
1:20:22 Chris Ryan? He's probably on the road a lot. Dogs need a lot more, you know.
1:20:24 Bill Simmons? Ridiculous. The train porter clothes. Just horrific murder. People walk in, it's like, "Oh my God, it stinks." There's a cocoon on the wall, there's blood everywhere. And Natasha's wearing her clothes out.
1:20:38 Chris Ryan? Clean as a drum.
1:20:38 Speaker 04 Clean, and they fit.
1:20:40 Bill Simmons? Not a stain.
1:20:40 Chris Ryan? And they fit.
1:20:41 Speaker 04 And they fit. And I don't wanna, you know, but the sister on the train and...
1:20:46 Chris Ryan? They didn't have the same body type.
1:20:47 Speaker 04 They didn't have the same body type, yeah.
1:20:50 Bill Simmons? How did they follow her from the club to the Hollywood Hills house is never explained?
1:20:54 Chris Ryan? Well, cuz the, the, the doorman is like, oh yeah, Robbie.
1:20:57 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:20:58 Chris Ryan? Robbie took home a pretty good chick tonight.
1:21:00 Bill Simmons? Doorman just knows where Robbie lives?
1:21:02 Chris Ryan? Well, they had to convince him. They were like, you know, the usual, cuz Dan is like, it would be a nice guy.
1:21:07 Speaker 04 Right, and you go Robbie's a nice guy, which he turns out not to be.
1:21:10 Chris Ryan? No, he's not.
1:21:10 Bill Simmons? But I don't think the doorman knows Robbie's home address.
1:21:12 Chris Ryan? But maybe Robbie was like, just low blood sugar.
1:21:15 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:21:16 Chris Ryan? Not to make excuses for his behavior.
1:21:17 Speaker 04 It's true. Yeah, maybe he was, right. I get it.
1:21:20 Bill Simmons? Could they really figure out semen in the hot tub water in 10 minutes? Which is what happens in this movie.
1:21:25 Chris Ryan? I mean, if they could.
1:21:26 Bill Simmons? They just checked. There's no semen in the hot tub. It's like, you guys just got here. Can we do that that fast?
1:21:32 Chris Ryan? What if they were like, we just checked this water. It's all semen. So this guy's been doing work up here at the Palisades.
1:21:39 Speaker 04 This guy's throwing ropes.
1:21:48 Bill Simmons? Oh my god. It's all semen. Any other nitpicks?
1:21:54 Chris Ryan? That is an incredibly nice motel manager for the Sahara. I don't get the impression that that is like guys who are really interested in customer service or, you know.
1:22:04 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:22:05 Chris Ryan? Safety of tenants.
1:22:05 Bill Simmons? You forgot your card, lady.
1:22:06 Chris Ryan? Hey, you forgot your card and, you know, you could go dancing. It, it's just like, and he's this really nice guy where it should be like, I'm gonna human traffic her.
1:22:14 Speaker 04 That is my nitpick. People weren't horny enough for her.
1:22:18 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:22:18 Speaker 04 She's in LA. Like, no, there's not one scene where someone goes, Jesus Christ, you should be modeling with us.
1:22:24 Chris Ryan? He keeps bumping into the nicest people.
1:22:25 Speaker 04 Yeah, so people weren't horny enough for her. And just everything else I've talked about. They put a microbiologist in combat later on in this movie.
1:22:32 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:22:33 Speaker 04 Like, you know, come on, man.
1:22:35 Speaker 07 I got one nit.
1:22:36 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:22:36 Speaker 07 After the hot tub murder, she's still on the loose and Ben Kingsley's like, let's go home, get some sleep.
1:22:42 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:22:43 Speaker 07 He's like, let's go home and crush tape. It's okay.
1:22:48 Bill Simmons? Matt's like, there's a hockey game on, I gotta catch. Sequel, prequel, Prestige TV, all black cast or untouchable? I've already made my Prestige TV case.
1:22:56 Chris Ryan? I mean, they've made so many bad sequels of this. Your Prestige TV pitch was great. Prestige would be great right now.
1:23:01 Bill Simmons? Is this movie better with Wayne Jenkins, Danny Trejo, Doris Burke, Sam Jackson, Nell, Byron Mayo, Tony Romo, Chris Collinsworth, Daniel Plainboote, Long Legs, or Wilford Brimley?
1:23:09 Chris Ryan? I'm still in the lab trying to figure out how to get Shaq involved with more movies. But I do think DB just being like, bonjour Mademoiselle Henstridge. We see you. You came out of that cocoon naked as the day is long.
1:23:29 Chris Ryan? Oh, DB. Yeah. We have to, we have to remix some of these.
1:23:33 Bill Simmons? Can I?
1:23:34 Chris Ryan? I definitely think Byron Mayo would have been an interesting addition.
1:23:39 Bill Simmons? What's going on here, my friend?
1:23:40 Chris Ryan? Oh, if you need the seed, just ask. No reason.
1:23:45 Bill Simmons? Got that wedding dress on, you're ready to roll. I have a, I think First Take, Jay Williams needs to be brought into consideration here.
1:23:53 Chris Ryan? Bill, come on, man.
1:23:54 Bill Simmons? No, I'm just like,
1:23:57 Bill Simmons? here's this hot alien who needs to mate. Two days. Can't mate with anybody. Are we sure she was good? And he's just sagging.
1:24:07 Chris Ryan? I can't wait for this summit where it's like Jay Williams, Nick Wright, DB. Everybody sitting down. And it's just like, goddamn, Bill.
1:24:15 Bill Simmons? Just want to ask her who gets it. It's probably special effects.
1:24:18 Chris Ryan? I had Madsen just for the hell of it. Yeah.
1:24:21 Bill Simmons? Probably an answer for questions. What's your FCR?
1:24:27 Chris Ryan? Do we think Sean Marks would have drafted the species if they were eligible? I can't think. I wrote that down really late at night.
1:24:35 Chris Ryan? No, we really, we really like some of her flexibility. I don't know. Are the overarching aliens that she comes from, are they pleased with her?
1:24:46 Speaker 04 Is she doing a good job for them?
1:24:47 Bill Simmons? Well, they don't know what's going on.
1:24:48 Chris Ryan? Yeah, I mean, she was like basically cooked up in a bathtub.
1:24:51 Speaker 04 I know, but like, so these aliens had enough technology and all of this to do this, but they're not watching what's going on?
1:24:58 Chris Ryan? I think the implication is that she's not unlike Dan, an empath, and that she is reflecting the society that she's been thrown into, which is like a predatory, violent, you know, fucked up place.
1:25:12 Speaker 04 Yeah, but they had this master plan to infect us with their race, did they not?
1:25:16 Chris Ryan? They did.
1:25:17 Speaker 04 Is there, are they watching?
1:25:19 Bill Simmons? I think they're just kind of hoping it plays out that way.
1:25:21 Speaker 04 Interesting.
1:25:22 Bill Simmons? They were like, can't believe Kingsley is gonna do this.
1:25:26 Chris Ryan? So he's not gonna tell anyone, huh? Okay.
1:25:28 Bill Simmons? The Derek Queen trade.
1:25:29 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:25:29 Bill Simmons? That's an unprotected pick? Uh, I have one unanswerable.
1:25:35 Bill Simmons? So if you were the conciliary for Natasha when she gets off the train, where would you tell her to go? Like, it's time to mate, you're very attractive blonde lady. I, I think the move would have been South Bay, just walking up and down the strand, trying to maybe meet some beach volleyball. Like, she wants like strong, virile guys, right? To continue their, continue like her little alien human.
1:25:58 Chris Ryan? USC frat party.
1:25:59 Bill Simmons? Highbird over.
1:26:00 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:26:00 Chris Ryan? USC frat party.
1:26:03 Bill Simmons? You want to find like guys in their late teens.
1:26:05 Chris Ryan? No.
1:26:06 Bill Simmons? Under, early twenties.
1:26:07 Chris Ryan? You want like a party.
1:26:08 Speaker 04 Late teens.
1:26:09 Bill Simmons? She wants like virile guys. I'm saying like nineteen to twenty-five. Well, she's twenty-one.
1:26:14 Speaker 04 What is Bill doing?
1:26:15 Bill Simmons? She's twenty-one in this. I think she's twenty-one.
1:26:19 Chris Ryan? I thought you meant for a second, just like, where would you go as a tourist? Um, where could she find?
1:26:24 Bill Simmons? There's a piece of that too, like, it's probably, like, when she's in Santa Monica, it's like, alright.
1:26:28 Chris Ryan? She's like a guy who's got like a nice winery in the Central Valley, you know what I mean? Like a guy.
1:26:31 Bill Simmons? So you would, you would turn her to Los Alibos? Do some wine tasting? I would have accepted any location with her.
1:26:40 Chris Ryan? Okay.
1:26:40 Bill Simmons? Though I just think anywhere she goes would have been hilarious.
1:26:43 Chris Ryan? I just, now, every time I think of it, I'm like, this should have been a TV show. Still at Disney World would have been amazing.
1:26:48 Bill Simmons? That would have been amazing.
1:26:49 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:26:50 Bill Simmons? Still going to Laker game.
1:26:52 Speaker 04 So like, I wanna, I wanna go to um. Still at the Lakers game is she's gonna. I wanna go to Eagle Rock. Heard there's some really smart people up there.
1:27:00 Chris Ryan? Still with Gretzky.
1:27:01 Speaker 04 Yeah, she's going to Vidit's. Yeah. Um, she goes to the Laker game, she's gonna, she's gonna find her mate. She'll find some people. And then. First couple of rows. She finds Leo DiCaprio.
1:27:11 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:27:12 Speaker 04 What piece of memorabilia would you want or not want from this movie? I couldn't come up with one.
1:27:15 Chris Ryan? I had a, a Forest Whitaker's koofi.
1:27:18 Speaker 04 That's a good one. Oh, look at you, reaching out. Coach Finstock Award.
1:27:24 Speaker 04 Coach Finstock Award, best life lesson, don't underestimate hot horny aliens.
1:27:27 Chris Ryan? Yeah, I had if a six foot blonde woman wants your baby at the club, it's probably too good to be true.
1:27:32 Speaker 04 Right. Yeah. Yeah, women are not to be used.
1:27:35 Chris Ryan? Yeah, that's, that's cool, man.
1:27:39 Speaker 04 See, I can do both things. I can do both. Best double feature choice, Under the Skin?
1:27:43 Chris Ryan? I had Mimic, the.
1:27:44 Speaker 04 That's a good one.
1:27:45 Chris Ryan? The sorvino movie that came out a couple of years later. It's basically about killer cockroaches and then more shit.
1:27:51 Speaker 04 So I went obscure. There's a movie called Amanda and the Alien. You guys have probably never seen it. It's with Nicole Egger. It's a very low budget movie, but it's about this lady who uh, she meets an alien and the alien is on earth, like learning its body, having sex with different people and all of that. Amanda and the Alien. I know this one. 1995. Says it's a TV movie. Made for cable. I think it was for Cinemax or one of those ones, because there's some scenes in there. Oh.
1:28:22 Chris Ryan? What did you, did you really say Under the Skin?
1:28:25 Speaker 04 Yeah, it was just, that was like. Under the Skin as in Scarlett Johansson.
1:28:28 Chris Ryan? Yeah, but that's like a beautiful art film.
1:28:30 Speaker 04 Right, yeah, it was just.
1:28:31 Chris Ryan? No, I didn't know that you were.
1:28:33 Speaker 04 Let's upgrade it for part two.
1:28:34 Chris Ryan? John Glazer, yeah.
1:28:35 Speaker 04 That was a fucking moment.
1:28:35 Chris Ryan? Yeah, that was a fucking moment.
1:28:37 Speaker 04 That was a fucking moment. I was thankful, very thankful.
1:28:44 Bill Simmons? Who won the movie? Mikey? Yeah, I guess. Natasha. Natasha. I'm trying to fucking honor him because he just passed away. That's why we're doing this. All right, wow. It's a great performance. Yeah. But yeah, she wins the movie. Craig, what'd you think?
1:28:58 Speaker 07 Well, you know, Mount Rushmore of most 90s movie premises, I would say. Just out of control 90s vibes. Can't imagine the audition process for this film. What that was like. Um, look, this movie's not good, but it's extremely enjoyable. Kind of the perfect blend of that. I respect the hell out of the attempt. Had no problem with any of the nudity stuff that you guys always claim that I have an issue with. When it's, that's what it's about, that's what it's about. It's just when it's randomly in an action film.
1:29:27 Bill Simmons? Right.
1:29:27 Speaker 07 And a girl in a car gets in an accident.
1:29:29 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:29:29 Speaker 07 And some extras topless in a hotel. I'm like, all right, then maybe I didn't need to be there. For this, we could have used a little more.
1:29:35 Bill Simmons? What are you talking about, Craig?
1:29:36 Speaker 07 Yeah, you know, this was definitely a film where I was like.
1:29:39 Bill Simmons? They grow up so fast. They do.
1:29:41 Speaker 07 Didn't exactly tell Liz the premise.
1:29:43 Bill Simmons? Oh, Liz watched this with you?
1:29:44 Speaker 07 No, no. I was like, I, I think I'm gonna sit this one out. I'll watch this on my own. I have a feeling where this one's like.
1:29:49 Bill Simmons? Good move.
1:29:50 Speaker 07 Where this one's headed.
1:29:51 Bill Simmons? So that's like very passive thumbs up from Craig.
1:29:55 Speaker 07 Yeah, it's like.
1:29:56 Bill Simmons? I think he enjoyed himself.
1:29:57 Speaker 07 Of cour- very enjoyable, but like, is it a good movie?
1:30:00 Bill Simmons? Yeah. This is what we did in the 90s. We weren't trying to win Oscars with movies we made sometimes. We were trying to go see. Just like, let's put some fun people in a movie. Seconds of Natasha. Good premise.
1:30:10 Speaker 04 Not all the time. Sometimes you just got a cool idea, you make a movie. And then boom, it's on the screen.
1:30:18 Bill Simmons? That's the representation. The Donaldson way.
1:30:19 Speaker 04 Yeah, it's the Donaldson way.
1:30:20 Speaker 07 It's pre-internet, it's pre-online porn. You, people had to go to the theaters for stuff like this.
1:30:25 Bill Simmons? We did.
1:30:26 Speaker 07 You would never do this now.
1:30:27 Speaker 04 You wouldn't. Not now, now it'd have to be something more.
1:30:30 Bill Simmons? This is how you got people to the theater. Now we have IMAX and Brad Pitt and F1 cars, and that's how you get people to go. Back then, it was like Natasha Andridge, Naked Horny Alien.
1:30:39 Speaker 07 Chris, I, in, in the same vein of your like, what if this lady was just a six? I think it'd be really funny if it was, it was just a guy and he was kinda ugly and he couldn't get any girls. So he had to just like get a job and have a wife?
1:30:50 Bill Simmons? Yeah. John, John Lovitz.
1:30:52 Speaker 07 That's right. He's like, well, I guess.
1:30:55 Speaker 07 I guess I gotta develop a personality now.
1:30:58 Bill Simmons? Yeah. All right, Craig Corlbeck, Jack Sanders, Ronic, thank you. Dan, see you, Ar. Good to see you. Good to see you, man.
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