125: Finding Purpose in Every Chapter of Life with Pete Hixson

We welcome back Pete Hixson for his third appearance. Together, we explore the complexities of balancing ambition, family, faith, and mentorship. We discuss the pivotal moments that have shaped Pete's life and career and delve into the challenges of being a driven professional while remaining a present and supportive family man. This episode offers a wealth of advice for young fathers, professionals, and anyone navigating the intricate dynamics of career and family life. CHAPTERS: 00:56 StoryBrand and Business Growth 02:27 Personal Reflections and Mentorship 08:49 The Importance of Mentors 19:15 Shifting from Success to Significance 30:03 The Role of Mission in Life 39:05 Being a Noticer in Relationships 46:52 Navigating Relationship Changes with Kids 54:00 Driven Individuals and Life Balance 59:24 Driven vs. Content: A Personal Reflection 01:05:37 Parenting and Legacy 01:11:24 Raising Daughters with Different Needs 01:23:46 The Birth of Beyond Communities 01:30:55 Current Progress and Future Plans Become a BPN member FOR FREE - Unlock 20% off FOR LIFE https://bpn.team/member FOLLOW: IG: instagram.com/nickbarefitness/ YT: youtube.com/@nickbarefitness

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:06Nick Bare?

  Today on the podcast, we have returning for a third time Pete Hixson.

• 0:11Speaker 01

  Let's go.

• 0:12Nick Bare?

  What's going on?

• 0:13Speaker 01

  Man, I'm so glad to be here.

• 0:15Nick Bare?

  It's always good to spend time with you.

• 0:17Speaker 01

  Thank you. I feel the same. I do.

• 0:20Nick Bare?

  Now, we've, how many times do you think we've, we've been together, like in person?

• 0:25Speaker 01

  Ah, I mean, it hasn't been as many as I feel like it should have been in person, but the conversations we have, maybe on the phone even for 15 minutes, we, we just kind of go straight there and figure out what's going on.

• 0:41Nick Bare?

  Yeah, I've known you for like most of my life.

• 0:44Speaker 01

  Let's just say we've known each other our whole lives.

• 0:47Nick Bare?

  So I'm going to give a little context for anyone who's, who's new.

• 0:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:51Nick Bare?

  And to introduce you and then I'll kind of hand it off to you. But we first met each other, I guess it was 2020.

• 1:00Speaker 01

  It was.

• 1:01Nick Bare?

  Yep. And our business was much smaller then, and I came across through Jordan, our brand director, Donald Miller and Story Brand. And Story Brand, the book and the workshops help businesses, help brands and individuals clarify their messaging, get very clear and to the point, eliminate all the fluff, ultimately be able to communicate better with customers and sell more and become more successful.

• 1:31Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:33Nick Bare?

  So as we explored Story Brand, we wanted to implement that process into our business, signed up, got started, they sent out a facilitator, which was you, you arrived at the business, full suit and tie.

• 1:47Speaker 01

  Full suit. I mean, it wasn't quite a tie, but it was a, let's just say I was, I was out of place.

• 1:54Nick Bare?

  You're overdressed.

• 1:55Speaker 01

  I was overdressed.

• 1:56Nick Bare?

  And we did the workshop for a few days and it was right before we launched our Lead the 100 doc. And I think it was like a week later, you and your wife Holly came out and came to the, the premiere of the doc and spent time with the team. And from there it was history.

• 2:15Speaker 01

  Yeah. It was like anything before that, you know, it just erased it all. This is like life started over.

• 2:23Nick Bare?

  Life was, it was a fresh start.

• 2:25Speaker 01

  Life begun.

• 2:26Nick Bare?

  Yes. So it's been very rewarding keeping up with each other and I consider you a very close mentor and I look up to you from the perspective of a committed husband and father. You have two, two girls that you're raising and are now out of the house and grown up and doing great things. But then also as a previous pastor and I think you still preach occasionally.

• 2:59Speaker 01

  I do, yeah.

• 2:59Nick Bare?

  And then a selfless community leader, which are some of the things I don't talk about today. But you know, for someone who is a few years behind, raising a young family, trying to manage a growing business and a career and being a husband and father, there's a lot going on. It's really easy to get lost and distracted and having someone to look up to that has been there, done it, learned from mistakes and failures and is doing the thing. I just want to, before we, you know, get started in this conversation, say, I appreciate you for being that person in my life.

• 3:35Speaker 01

  Thank you. I appreciate that. That means probably more than you realize. And yeah, I'd love to dive in and talk more about that. But I'm grateful for you and your example because your example, even in personal ways, from friends of mine, myself, even my, my kids, you know, look up to you. And I'm one of those as well, because of the bar that you set and some of the stuff that I know we're gonna unpack a little bit about, you know, we have one life to live. What are we gonna do with it? We're not anybody but ourselves. We can't become someone else. But I think a baseline principle in life is

• 4:20Speaker 01

  it's not what you have or even what's been given to you, but what do you do with what you have and what's been given to you. And you have been an example, and you are, of being a steward of this one life. And you have inspired and challenged many people.

• 4:38Speaker 01

  Mutual respect. Holly, and tonight you'll meet Addie. One day you'll meet Holly.

• 4:45Nick Bare?

  Can't wait.

• 4:45Speaker 01

  I know. Yeah, she's excited to meet you too. Only problem with meeting Addie is Holly and I will no longer be you and Steph's favorite Hixson. She will be the favorite. So she's that amazing of a person. But anyway, thanks for having me. Glad to be back.

• 4:59Nick Bare?

  For sure. I'm excited to share one of our favorite restaurants with you tonight.

• 5:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:03Nick Bare?

  As I was telling you. At this point, I should have some sort of affiliation with this restaurant for as many times as I've been there and talked it up.

• 5:10Speaker 01

  Some sponsorship, I'm sure, is in the works.

• 5:13Nick Bare?

  It's incredible. Peacock in Austin. It's in the proper hotel. It's like, ground level. The vibe is just perfect. You roll in, and there's like, the bar, right as you enter, to your right, you walk in the restaurants, dim lit, good Mediterranean food, loaded with like, hummus, and I just keep the pita bread, come in.

• 5:38Speaker 01

  Let's go.

• 5:39Nick Bare?

  All night. Do you like lamb, by chance?

• 5:41Speaker 01

  I, if it's done right.

• 5:44Nick Bare?

  They have good lamb.

• 5:44Speaker 01

  And I do not doubt they're gonna do it right.

• 5:46Nick Bare?

  They got good lamb.

• 5:47Speaker 01

  I'm gonna go on to your recommendation.

• 5:48Nick Bare?

  We're gonna go, we're gonna go big tonight, and then we'll wrap it up with sticky toffee date pudding, which, I can't wait.

• 5:57Speaker 01

  I'm excited. I would say I don't deserve to eat sticky toffee date pudding as much as you deserve it, let's just say, but.

• 6:05Nick Bare?

  One life, Pete.

• 6:06Speaker 01

  One life to live.

• 6:07Nick Bare?

  One life.

• 6:08Speaker 01

  And I need to, I just turned 50 since last time I saw you, so I'm in this.

• 6:14Nick Bare?

  That's a big deal.

• 6:14Speaker 01

  It's a big deal. I mean, I don't know that people, you know, everybody told me who, or my friends, were right on that line, that were like, hey, this is coming, and you're gonna feel it. And in some negative ways, and you know, like, obviously, I'm sitting here with the king of, you know, keeping this one life in body, in shape, and all of that.

• 6:40Nick Bare?

  We're gonna get effort after this conversation.

• 6:42Speaker 01

  I feel, we are going to the gym after this.

• 6:46Nick Bare?

  Yeah.

• 6:46Speaker 01

  We probably should not bring the cameras, for my sake.

• 6:51Speaker 01

  We won't do a shirt off contest, let's just say that.

• 6:54Nick Bare?

  We got the cold plunges here now.

• 6:55Speaker 01

  Okay, good.

• 6:56Nick Bare?

  We can do some cold plunging.

• 6:58Speaker 01

  I'm in.

• 6:58Nick Bare?

  Do some sauna, get a little workout in.

• 7:00Speaker 01

  I'm in. Let's get it, let's get ourselves hungry to earn the dinner.

• 7:03Nick Bare?

  Yeah, we're gonna earn it.

• 7:04Speaker 01

  So, anyway.

• 7:06Nick Bare?

  So, part of the conversation I want to have today, and I think a lot of the topics we're gonna cover will kind of revolve around this. I've learned a lot over these last, specifically two years. The last time we sat down and had a conversation was in Nashville.

• 7:24Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 7:24Nick Bare?

  That was a very different part and chapter in my life. And I've learned a lot since that move and stepping down from the CEO role of the business, then coming back and just, I needed that, that experience.

• 7:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:40Nick Bare?

  Really did. And one of the things that sparked that move initially was that as my business was growing and became very demanding and I was focused on my career, I was met with this new life of becoming a father.

• 7:58Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 7:59Nick Bare?

  And Charlie was born, and I knew we were gonna have more kids in the future. Nico, my son, is now nine months old.

• 8:08Speaker 01

  That's wild.

• 8:09Nick Bare?

  But that shook my world up because I didn't think that I could manage both being a driven professional within my career, building and leading a business and a team, but also a content and happy and present and fulfilled father and husband and family man. And I have to assume that other men, other people experience this pivotal shift in life as well. And I believe that you probably went through this experience as well and hopefully throughout this conversation, we can dive into some of those chapters and seasons and what has helped you kind of learn from that.

• 8:49Nick Bare?

  But to kind of kick it off, I'm curious throughout your lifetime, you know, say these last three decades, did you have a mentor or someone in your life that guided you through your most challenging seasons? Maybe one person, a few people, friend, family member, peer?

• 9:09Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah, I would say that there's been a handful of individuals that there's always a host of what, you know, we would call guides, helps, these mentors and friends. But there's one that stands out. His name's Derek Von Rensburg. Derek, he's from South Africa. When I was pastoring a church in the Atlanta area, he and his family, he had worked for Coca-Cola and he was one of the top executives, very successful in business. They moved him

• 9:47Speaker 01

  all over the world for his role and they ended up in Atlanta. And they have two sons and a daughter. They were younger then. All that to say, I remember them coming to our church and I would watch him, get to know him a little bit, and I just, there was something that really stood out to me, or I mean, about him, that maybe stood out a little bit more than the crowd was the things that you are alluding to, which is, he was very successful in what he did. He was very good at what he did. He loved what he did and he loved

• 10:28Speaker 01

  his family. And the other thing that I would say is that he was loved by his family. And I think there's a little bit of a distinction that opens up a whole new world. I think most of us who are asking the question, how do I remain successful and love my family well, are thinking from our lens.

• 10:56Speaker 01

  But at the end of it all, when you really boil it down and let's just get morbid for a second, and you and I are there, and the people who have loved us are speaking about us, it's not our words that are going to be said that day. I mean, they might quote something, but it's their perspective. And so I think that's something that is, and I'm going a little bit further than what your question is, but the reality is, I saw that in him, and he was still, you know, I mean, a younger guy. He was probably about my age now, then. He's about 10 years beyond me, so he's probably, you know, 60, something

• 11:38Speaker 01

  like that, 61. Sorry Derek, if I got that wrong, in the wrong direction. But, and the other thing that stood out to me, that was very significant for me as a Christian, as a pastor, leading people into this, you know, relationship with God, was, the other thing that stood out to me was, he lived, loved by his heavenly father. And that was another very strong distinction, because most of us are still striving to gain that approval, to gain that, you know, if only I can get here, if only I can please. And especially

• 12:22Speaker 01

  when it comes to, you know, I mean, the giant conversation on the table about God, and we're all running around trying, am I good enough? You know, that kind of thing. He was a guy that just walked so steady, and lived as if he actually believed he was 100% unconditionally loved by his heavenly father. And it was a, it was a sense of confidence, but not arrogance. It was a sense of, I actually believe that you are who you say you are. And that infiltrated, and, and I would just say permeated all of his relationships. Does that make sense? I mean, it was just like, he was a guy that, that lived with that confidence and trust,

• 13:02Speaker 01

  that he was in a secure place of, I am, he has my back, I believe that he cares for me, therefore, that allowed him to be very steady in his love for others. And I also believe it allowed him to be very successful in his business, too.

• 13:19Nick Bare?

  What do you think? Causes people to be insecure in their relationship with God. That's different from this gentleman.

• 13:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, great question. You know, the interesting thing, and I know we didn't necessarily plan on going down this exact path, but.

• 13:36Nick Bare?

  It can go anywhere.

• 13:37Speaker 01

  Great.

• 13:40Speaker 01

  His story was when he was a little boy, he grew up in South Africa. His mom,

• 13:49Speaker 01

  from his little boy perspective, he didn't know what was going on. One day said she was going on a trip, went to the train station and never came back. Little kid, mom leaves, never comes back. That will impact a child.

• 14:03Nick Bare?

  For sure.

• 14:05Speaker 01

  And it sent him on this path, this journey. Many, many, many years later, discovered a guy, another person that he introduced me to as my mentor. He introduced me to his mentor named Dr. Richard Dobbins, who career wise was a pastor for many years and then just became one of the first, what would be called, before it was called this, therapists in the Christian space. And that was back when that was not allowable. And that guy made such a difference in Derek's life.

• 14:48Speaker 01

  Teaching him, I mean, honestly, from Derek's perspective, and he would tell his story way better than I can. But the realities and truths about, you know, sometimes we kind of look at the Bible as Bible stories and they're inspiring. But very rarely do we look at it

• 15:07Speaker 01

  as actual practical principles that if we apply them, can truly change our lives. I don't mean works based, do this so that we are pleasing to God, but it's like, hey, if you do this, this, this in this life, it will have this effect on life itself. And it's coming from the author of life, so.

• 15:29Speaker 01

  All that to say, the difference in him was when he recognized that,

• 15:39Speaker 01

  we'll just call it unconditional love, it was more, it meant more to him than the average person because of what happened with him. There was such a vacancy, there was such a gap for his whole life. Didn't even know how to unpack that, you know, and did a lot of therapy work to get to the point, but when he actually realized that there is a God who loves you like that, with the story of where he came from, that, that I think made all the difference to him.

• 16:13Nick Bare?

  So you think part of that insecurity from other people might be that they potentially take that relationship they could have for granted?

• 16:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:22Nick Bare?

  Because there's not a missing aspect of, they're not trying to fill this void necessarily.

• 16:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, and you know, I mean, the whole, you know, if we, we realize how much something means to us if we've been in a place when we didn't have it. And I think the, the principle of insecurity is I still have to, it's like running on a treadmill that's not going anywhere, but you're getting exhausted and you're not even sure where you're going. And I think the harder you run, the more that you strive, that, that work, it only amps up that insecurity. And if you keep running down different paths to try and find something to suffice that

• 17:11Speaker 01

  or to give you the security, it's only gonna make you more sensitive to it and really more insecure until you find something that cures that.

• 17:21Nick Bare?

  How old were you when you met Derek?

• 17:23Speaker 01

  Uh, let's see.

• 17:25Speaker 01

  I'm trying to gauge it by about the kid's age because this is what happened. I took him to coffee one day or to lunch or whatever and I just sat him down and we didn't know each other that well and I said, I mean, he knew me, I mean, him and his family, I saw him out there in the audience, you know, on Sundays and we casually knew each other by a few conversations. And I pulled him aside, took him to lunch and said, "If you will let me, I'd like to travel life a little bit closer because I see that you are successful, you love your family and you live loved by God and I want more of that in my life. And so if you'll allow me to walk closer with you, then I would love to just, you know, it's kind of like, will you be my mentor?"

• 18:10Nick Bare?

  Yeah.

• 18:11Speaker 01

  And to this day, he's the guy, you know, still that is typically going to be a person that's out there. We don't talk a whole lot, but when we do, you know, and it's interesting, there's been some things he's gone through with his family. This is a cool side note, Holly and I just did some premarital, they live in the Malibu area, they also have their house in South Africa and maybe a few more places, but one of his sons recently got married and Holly and I did some video premarital counseling sessions with his son and his wife-to-be and now they're married.

• 18:56Speaker 01

  So it's just kind of, you know, how it all comes back around, so.

• 19:00Nick Bare?

  A full circle moment.

• 19:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, and so they've gone through some things that we've been able to just be there for him, but yeah.

• 19:09Nick Bare?

  How do you think your life would have changed without Derek in your life? Because for me, right now, this chapter of my life.

• 19:22Nick Bare?

  When I was younger, I was getting started with business. Everyone told me you need a business coach, you need a mentor, you need people to look up to.

• 19:30Nick Bare?

  And I didn't have that early on. You know, if someone said, who do you, who do you respect and follow in my early entrepreneurial days in college? I would have just said whoever came to my mind first.

• 19:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:43Nick Bare?

  You know, like, I'm responding with what I think I'm supposed to say. I didn't really have someone in my corner that I could lean on or go to. They would tell me exactly what I needed to hear, not necessarily what I wanted to hear. And now I have a few people in my life that I can consider mentors that I know I can look up to and just watch and observe. This is how they're living. This is what they're doing. This is how they're treating their, their spouse and their kids and their work and their relationship with God. I'm going to use that as a, a north star and just kind of observe and imitate and replicate what they are doing from my perspective.

• 20:25Nick Bare?

  And there's people that I also talk to on a regular basis that I'm really leaning on. And I, I like to think that, I do think this, that if I didn't have certain people in my life that are very actively involved, but also indirectly involved as well, that my life might be in a very different place now than it would have been otherwise. Do you think, for, you know, talking to a younger population?

• 20:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:57Nick Bare?

  Maybe even young fathers, uh, young mothers, having someone, a mentor, a guide, a coach in your life is critical to succeed? Is it necessary? How important is it? What are your thoughts on all of that?

• 21:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, I think, I do think it's very important. And I think there's a few different ways to chop it up, you know, sometimes it's more of a, a formal relationship.

• 21:29Speaker 01

  I think sometimes it is. Could be a compilation of a few different people. I think depending on the season of life that you're in. And this gets interesting because as we talked a little bit, you know, messaging about doing the podcast. One of the things that I would say that I love about this. You mentioned the younger population, younger generation. There is so much good, hard work personally that people are being responsible for their life in the ways, I'll just say of development and discovery. Like who am I really? Let's do some hard work, whether that means, you know, maybe I have a counselor.

• 22:12Speaker 01

  Maybe I have a therapist, maybe I have a friend that I meet. Maybe it's official, unofficial. The challenge that I would present though is in the path of self-discovery, self-development, get ourselves in good, you know, physical, mental, spiritual condition, if you will, is we're building up for something, but if we have no way to execute that, then we've just become something for people or the world to observe, rather than the world to benefit from.

• 22:50Speaker 01

  And that's where I would say, if you don't have someone on the other side of you that is giving you guidance, coaching, mentoring, left to ourselves, we will probably just be a little bit blindsided by some things. And that's where I would say, like, having those people in my life that will speak into my life, say something to me throughout different periods. And it's not like I have every Monday, this one friend that I'm gonna have a call with, who just, you know, lets me have it, but I need it. You know, it's not like that. It's not so system.

• 23:31Speaker 01

  Created, um, but where I do believe that if we aren't intentional to build a support system around us, most of the time, it's, it's like anything else. You don't create, you always talk about consistency. You have to create that and you have to execute that. That's what I mean by being a good steward of this one life that's been given to us. So it, I think sometimes it's like, well, no, there was nobody in my life that came around me. Well, they're not coming. You gotta go find that. You gotta build that. You have to create that support structure. And when you build that and you have that relationship, over time, they're gonna reach out to you, they're gonna check in on you.

• 24:15Speaker 01

  But if there's no effort coming from you, it's like, it, it, it doesn't work.

• 24:19Nick Bare?

  It's gotta go both ways.

• 24:21Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 24:22Nick Bare?

  To dialogue.

• 24:22Speaker 01

  And it has to be a mutual, I want this, you want this, let's do this. And again, it's not the same for everybody. And remembering, we have different makeups. Everybody's got a different way of, of learning behavior. And so, you know, what I think that is definitely, I would say, consistent for everyone is, I'll say this again, you have one life to live, and it is your choice of what you will build around you. Um, and that is not taking out the supernatural piece. It is very much, the supernatural piece is a foundation from it. But that's why, one of my favorite parables that Jesus tells is the parable of what is

• 25:05Speaker 01

  called the talents. And this, this boss, so to speak, goes away, leaves three people in charge of all of his things, and he gives one, one and one, two and one, five, or whatever the dispersion is. And, and says, go have at it. And he comes back so many whatever later. And what did they do with what had been given to them? The principle of that is, it's not about what you have, or what's been given to you, but what did you do with it? And at the end of our life,

• 25:37Speaker 01

  The guy with the one kinda got all this, "Oh, I didn't get as much." And so he buried it and he handed it back to his boss and said, "Look, I buried it. Everything is exactly the way you gave it to me, safe and sound." And basically, the boss said, "Throw this guy out. I didn't give you what you had to live a safe and sound life and return it to me the way that you did. You didn't take any risk. You didn't do anything with what was being given to you." And he took it away and gave it to the guy who turned his five into 10. Because he's the guy that did something with his life. So, anyway, I'm kinda getting off on a little.

• 26:10Nick Bare?

  No, it's good. I think we can.

• 26:12Speaker 01

  But that's the common piece of, if we're gonna say, "We need mentors. We need coaches. We need friends. We need guys. We need people." We can bury our head in the sand and say, "Well, no one came to me." Or we can open up our eyes, create a vision for our life. There is personal responsibility in this. And then we can go to the Derricks of the world on our own initiative. You know, I mean, I followed a tug in my heart, I guess, but like, nobody made me do that.

• 26:44Nick Bare?

  Yeah.

• 26:45Speaker 01

  And I look back and believe it was one of the greatest decisions that I've ever made is to say this. And this is what's hard for, I think, I don't know if it's just, I don't think it's just men, but I think for driven personalities possibly, is, "I don't know how to get where I wanna go on my own, so I need some help." And that's hard for us to do, especially if we're just caught in the fray of, you know, this unbelievably never-ending competitive world that we live in.

• 27:15Nick Bare?

  Yeah. Have you read the book? And I bring this up because I read it this past year. One of our employees here, Taylor, she, her dad was an entrepreneur, is an entrepreneur. And he gave her the book to give to me. And it's called "Halftime" by Bob Beaufort.

• 27:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, I have.

• 27:37Nick Bare?

  That book changed my life. And it's all about.

• 27:43Speaker 01

  That's her dad?

• 27:44Nick Bare?

  No, no, no, that's not her dad. But her dad found this book, loved this book, gave it to her to give to me. Cause he's been watching me from afar.

• 27:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:56Nick Bare?

  And told Taylor, "I think Nick needs this book right now in his life."

• 27:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:59Nick Bare?

  Which is powerful.

• 28:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:02Nick Bare?

  And as you probably know, it's all about shifting your life from success to significance.

• 28:09Nick Bare?

  And one of the things Bob Bieford said, I'm gonna read a quote. As for me, I have decided that just about all that will be left to me when I leave this earth is what I can let go of to invest in the lives of others. The fruit of my life and my work will grow on other people's trees.

• 28:29Nick Bare?

  I used to be. And the reason that I feel so passionate and fulfilled by this right now is because that shift in mindset over these last couple of years has opened up this new life for me. Where early on, when I was building, and I was very focused on self-development, personal achievement, money, success, just to build and accumulate money in the bank. Or things and successes and accomplishments. In the beginning, it felt really good to gain and hold all of these things.

• 29:07Nick Bare?

  But over time, there was a diminishing return of sense of accomplishment with each additional thing. And I kept thinking, like, what, what am I doing wrong? What am I missing? Do I need more? Do I need more? Do I need more? Do I need more? And that wasn't the thing. And then it was this realization of,

• 29:28Nick Bare?

  oh, that was young boy Nick. Trying to find fulfillment and happiness in these things. And mature man Nick has now found significance in helping other people, creating impact, seeing others succeed. That's where I get so much fulfillment. It does not necessarily take away from my want, desire, and ability to build my career or a business and a brand. I still want all of those things just as badly, but for different reasons now. Was there a point in your life when you went through that halftime? And do you remember it vividly?

• 30:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I remember reading the book too.

• 30:12Speaker 01

  I'm so bad about you asked me earlier, like, how old were you? Like, I remember seasons of life, but I remember exactly where I was sitting, reading the part in that book where it, I'm gonna probably completely annihilate what is actually written, but this was what I remember. There's something about a stream, and when you step into a new stream, or stay in the old stream, and it's not about, do I get into something different for this rest of my life? Or do I stay with what I'm doing? The point is really not that. The point is turning your focus from building something for me to building something that is of significance, that I'm a part of, but it's not about me.

• 30:57Speaker 01

  And I think that's what I'm referring to also with, and this is the self-development, yes, it actually becomes more necessary, but it's not the destination. When I realize that I wanna be a better self, so I wanna try and keep myself more healthy, and I want to, you know, make better financial decisions, and invest in my family for the long haul, but it's not so that I can hang up those trophies and say, "Look, I did it." There's nothing wrong with that to a degree, but what is so missing in it is unfulfilling,

• 31:41Speaker 01

  because what it will do is, I gotta go find another one to build. There's another principle that Jesus talks about, this person who built a barn and filled it up, and then he built another barn and filled it up with the seeds, or the, you know, the grain, and build another one, another one, and he went to bed one night, and ate and drank and was merry, and said, "Look at all these barns that I built." And that night, he died. And the principle was, "You fool, you missed the whole point. Why did I give you what I gave you?" And so, I want to be successful, and I wanna have a life that matters, but...

• 32:16Speaker 01

  What I see through my eyes differently, and by the way, when I say this, I'm not wake up every day like this, you know, saint. I'm still a selfish person who doesn't want to care for anybody else and makes bad decisions and, you know, can be negative and mean to my wife and my girls. But there is a difference and a shift of, no, I want to get back to this one life, because this is the word I would talk about, and I know we talked a little bit about this last podcast, is mission. The difference is, I see my life as a mission now. And my mission is, I will build a barn, but I'm going to empty the grain so that I can feed other people with it. Does that make sense? That makes sense.

• 32:59Speaker 01

  I'll build another barn after that, and I'll go do that. I don't want to do those things and miss out on the priority people in my life, right? But if you have a gift and a skill to do something, it's not like you just need to go and retire and get on camera and just, I don't mean this in a bad way, be a happy person to people and go, I just want to encourage you with life. No, you do what you've been gifted and skilled to do and what you've built. But your mission is no longer the trophy to put on your wall. The mission is, I do this so that I can help this person and that person. And I think that was part of the significant, I would say, shift and pivotal moment in my life,

• 33:41Speaker 01

  that as I was getting to, we don't know when halftime is, you know, I don't know what, throw the numbers out the door, but I mentioned I'm turning 50, and it's like, is it, is it for someone in their 30s? Again, the principle that Bob talks about in the book is not so much, you know when that number is, but it's a wonderful thing when you start asking questions, because that says to you that you're aware of it. And we all know that self-awareness is probably the greatest thing that we can have of like, okay, there's something different, there's something missing, I've got this, but now I've got eyes and an appetite for something else.

• 34:19Speaker 01

  And when I stepped out of a 20-some-year career of pastoring local churches, thinking that was going to be the only thing I would ever do, and professionally do coaching, companies and individuals in their mission, message, and marketing, working with StoryBrand, I still speak in churches, do some events, speaking with an organization called World Vision, and I'm using my gifts and talents for those things. But the mission and calling in this season of life, and maybe for the, we'll call it second half, and I don't know if there's another one coming, maybe this is the third of it, but I think for potentially the foreseeable future or the rest of my life, there's a

• 35:03Speaker 01

  component that God put into our world, we're a part of the special needs community, and our daughter Hope, when she was born, went into respiratory distress, stopped breathing, and at the age of two, diagnosed with cerebral palsy, and we've just been trying to survive and live life like every other family, and especially with that added component. But when she was graduating high school, and then we discovered an incredible college called Shepherd's College, and now she's at another place called Union University in an integrated program, when she, we never thought would happen, left home to go and

• 35:42Speaker 01

  live on a college campus, it gave space emotionally and mentally that I believe was God just saying, "I'm going to hand you this vision." And now I want to be the best leader, person, doesn't matter if I'm speaking in a church or doing a StoryBrand workshop or coaching a client, somewhere in there, I'm probably going to mention our mission, that's our mission. And I want to be the best that I can, so that that can happen. And what I would say is if we are living with no mission, we're really just existing. And I think that's what I hear you saying is it doesn't mean you have to take everything

• 36:24Speaker 01

  you've built and put it away and go, all right, I gotta go move to some foreign country, you know, or I'm ready. It's like, no, you just turn your eyes up and out a little bit instead of, okay, my, my goal in life is to build me. No, no, no, no, no. My goal in life is to help them. And the best way I'll do that is through filling up my life with the best that I can. So it doesn't take self-development out of it. It actually enhances it, but it just gives you a different destination and goal.

• 36:54Nick Bare?

  Yeah, I recently had Nick Lavery on the podcast, Army Green Beret, Special Forces. He was the first above the knee amputee to be wounded in combat and go back to combat to operate on an ODA after that amputee or amputation. And one of the things we were talking about was just the effectiveness of teams and working together with people. And one of the things that he was talking about was how important self-development is and always will be. It's critical. It's essential because it allows you to be an enabler,

• 37:37Nick Bare?

  to be part of a greater mission and a greater team.

• 37:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:41Nick Bare?

  So you're not just working on yourself, your health, your, your mindset, your capabilities, capacity for your own good, your own money, but it's to be a part of something bigger, a larger mission.

• 37:55Speaker 01

  Right.

• 37:56Nick Bare?

  This is why I think it's really important to have a vision for your, for your life.

• 37:59Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 38:00Nick Bare?

  And I, I've, I've brought this book up so many times in the last couple of podcasts because another book that's changed my life, BE 2.0 by Jim Collins. The fourth chapter of that book is the vision chapter. It talks about the three components of vision, core values, purpose and goals. And when you have your core values, purpose and goals identified very clearly defined, it allows you to make more consistent and easier decisions.

• 38:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:30Nick Bare?

  What you say no to is a very easy no.

• 38:32Speaker 01

  Right.

• 38:33Nick Bare?

  What you say yes to takes some consideration, but it allows you to be very consistent and it moves you towards that vision and you're dialed in on that mission.

• 38:43Nick Bare?

  One of the questions I asked you yesterday, or two days ago in preparation for this conversation,

• 38:50Nick Bare?

  is, and I'm gonna use men specifically in this part of the conversation, but it's by no means supposed to be gender specific. I don't want to offend any women out there that are listening.

• 39:05Nick Bare?

  What should men, specifically new fathers who are driven professionals, be doing, practicing, or focusing on that will create a legacy they will be proud of at the end of their lives? And you responded with, oftentimes driven individuals know where they want to go and are used to giving directions on how to get there, but your spouse and children want to truly be seen by you. We should be a noticer of your priority people, of our priority people.

• 39:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:38Nick Bare?

  What does that mean to be a noticer?

• 39:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think a noticer, and that's probably a word I might have made up, I'm not sure.

• 39:45Nick Bare?

  My, my computer keeps saying, uh, that word does not exist.

• 39:48Speaker 01

  It doesn't exist.

• 39:49Nick Bare?

  So I love it.

• 39:49Speaker 01

  It does today.

• 39:50Nick Bare?

  I love it, yeah.

• 39:50Speaker 01

  Today it does.

• 39:51Nick Bare?

  Yeah.

• 39:53Speaker 01

  A noticer, it is funny, as you asked me that question and I started writing my answer to it, sometimes, you know, and I love doing these conversations with you because not only do you allow it, I think you want it to go in the direction it's supposed to go.

• 40:07Nick Bare?

  Yeah.

• 40:07Speaker 01

  And that was kind of the way I was responding of like, well, what, what would be, and I think more about the, you know, we, we learn lessons from the mistakes that we've made, from moments that we missed. Some of them were blatant, a lot of them, if not most of them, are unintentional, right?

• 40:24Speaker 01

  And that's where that comes from, that I have, I've done this, and I'm observing it. And part of it is, you were giving the question in the context of younger. I'm so learning and I'm so like swimming in the ocean of a dad with young adult girls, children. And so I am just, I'm such a student of that, but that's kind of where that comes from, which is, I didn't think like this then, and I wish I would have. Because there were probably moments that I missed. And, and this is, I mean, God, sometimes we talk about our mistakes. We get so guilt driven.

• 41:09Speaker 01

  This is where I'll bring back Derek, Living Loved. It's like, there is a moment and a, there's a piece and a principle for, I want to learn from that. But if we let shame have its way, that shame's not invited to that conversation. This is more learning so that I can be better. So this is not a shame for those of us who have missed these moments to be a noticer. In my wife, my girls, because I was leading organizations and at the time I was a pastor and you're growing something and that's just such a, you know, you throw God onto the table of any conversation and it's just, you know, I mean, it amplifies that. And so you're, you're going, you're building and you're, you're, you're, you're there to

• 41:54Speaker 01

  be the visionary and set the direction. And I think it's, it's, it's so purposeful and it's right. Somebody needs to be that person. When it comes to your family, it's easy to run them like you run your business. And it is not, that's not, that doesn't work that way. I don't think it's intended to work that way. While we are there to give direction and there are times when our kids need us to give every bit of, you know, we are responsible for them. Early on, there were moments I know that I missed, especially in my relationship with my wife, but also my girls, where I was more inviting them into my thing and saying, "This is what we're doing",

• 42:38Speaker 01

  and not being a noticer of who they are. What are their gifts? What are their talents? What are, what do they want? And every human just wants people who are in our world that we love and want to be loved by to be, we just want to be seen by them. You know, we just want to be known. And that's what I mean by that, is be a noticer. And when you're a noticer of something, I mean, you literally might literally take notes. Like some of us guys, since we're talking about guys, we're just gonna miss the mark so often. And something is- I feel that. Yeah, I mean, how often, right? Like, something as simple as years ago, I, and this is gonna tell all to my wife, although I think she knows that I do this.

• 43:21Speaker 01

  And I'm still bad about actually writing it down. I have this couple of different apps. And when she says something that she likes, the problem in this season of life, and I'm gonna go ahead and say this, she usually buys it for herself and says, "Give this to me for Mother's Day." I'm like, "You're ruining it." So I'm not sure this matters as much now, but it'd be like, "I'm not going to naturally be the noticer, so I have to train myself to notice. What are the things you like? What are the places you want to go? Um, what, what do you dream about for our future?", you know? And I think it's the same for our kids. And now I am just in a different world of literally getting behind my kids.

• 44:02Speaker 01

  One of them is what brings us to Austin, as she's doing this internship here. And I'm trying, you know, I'm just trying to keep up with her, and I'm loving it. And I don't have to be the one going, "This is where we're going." I get to get behind her and be the fuel for where she's going. And that's what brings me and brought me to the point of saying, boy, if we could start out that way of being a noticer of our children and of our spouse, our wives, and I think we'd be a better guide. And again, that's not a guilt. We missed it. But that is what I mean by being a noticer.

• 44:41Nick Bare?

  I want to take a quick break in this episode to talk to you guys about our newest product. And that is called G1M Sport Plus. G1M Sport Plus is the pre-workout for endurance athletes. And in my honest opinion, a great option did not exist up until this point. Now, it is built off of the foundation of one of our bestselling products, and that is G1M Sport. G1M Sport is fuel and it is hydration. Fuel from carbohydrates, 20 grams of fast digesting carbohydrates in the

• 45:20Nick Bare?

  form of cluster dextran per serving and 350 milligrams of sodium. G1M Sport Plus has added energy and focus. Energy from 150 milligrams of caffeine and focus from nootropics such as alpha GPC and N-acetylcytiracine. This is the pre-workout option, the pre-workout source for endurance athletes. And these ingredients work very synergistically together from carbohydrates, electrolytes, energy, and mental focus. So now you can not only prime your body, but

• 46:02Nick Bare?

  prime your body and your mind for the toughest workouts in the hardest training sessions. And once you try G1M Sport Plus, you'll realize just how powerful these ingredients and this product is. It is truly a game changer. So elevate your training, elevate your workouts with the future of endurance. The newest pre-workout for endurance athletes, G1M Sport Plus. Now, back to the episode. I'm curious, and I asked this for my own personal good. Sometimes people respond.

• 46:42Nick Bare?

  Or comment on the podcast and they're saying, I think Nick's just asking these questions for his own personal interest. I'm like, good for you. Absolutely. That's what I'm doing. So I'm curious as I ask this question. Did you find, and I'm curious how you guys navigated this, your relationship with Holly changing once you had kids and being a noticer? Because for someone who is a high achiever and is trying to build and do a lot of things, your mind has so much capacity and bandwidth, right? So when it was just Steph and me and our family, I spent a lot of time on the business.

• 47:23Nick Bare?

  And I believe I did a good job noticing her and her life and what she was working on. And then when we added responsibility and complexities to that of kids, now a lot of my focus is on the kids, but specifically Charlie. Charlie's three years old right now. She's growing and changing so much and I don't want to miss any of it. And we're just picking up on new things every day. So a lot of my attention is noticing her. Now where I feel like I'm letting the ball drop a little bit is because my noticer tank

• 48:02Nick Bare?

  is emptying. I feel like sometimes I unintentionally don't notice the things Steph is doing. So how do you level that playing field? Is it just, it just takes time to figure it out? I mean, you miss some, you fail often and then you try to navigate it? Like, did you experience that as well?

• 48:22Speaker 01

  I definitely did. And, and I think if I remember, I think I told the story, so I won't go into it all, last time I was on. But I remember a distinct moment in a very heated conversation with Holly when the girls were younger, a lot younger. And I was like, what did I do wrong? And I go into my list of everything that I'm doing because I thought that, I mean, I'm just, you know, probably you as well. Like, we're just, oh, this is what's going on? Well, then this is what we do. Like, well, let's just come up with an answer and a solution and move on. Like, before Holly has processed something that she just wants to talk to me about, I've got five steps that we need to go do right now to fix it. And they might be true, but that's not what she wants. She wants me to listen. It's so hard to do. But.

• 49:09Speaker 01

  I've made that mistake many times and still do. But in that season, I mean, I'm just being honest. You probably need to give yourself some grace in some understanding that it really is a bit of a survival. But if there's one thing that I would look back and say, I wish I would have done this more and built into my system. Cause I have to be reminded clearly. I don't, I don't know if I, I think I didn't finish what I was saying. I literally take notes when Holly says something so that when Mother's Day or Christmas or her birthday, I have to go back and go like, I don't know what to get her, you know? Now I kind of just ask Addie because they love the same things.

• 49:52Speaker 01

  But basically I have to do what sounds so non-romantic and write some things down. But putting something into your world now where maybe it's a weekly, maybe it's, and I don't mean like, okay Steph, we're going to sit down and have our family business meeting. Maybe you do that and that's great. But I mean, just a, all right, it's check in time. It's like pull the car in the garage. I need you to tell me how I'm doing with you. And if you create that in whatever works for both of your personalities, that's not awkward-ish, but it's probably going to feel awkward. I think you'll, you'll at least if you're going to be making mistakes, which you are and I am, and we all have,

• 50:38Speaker 01

  you're giving Steph the ability to speak into it versus you just move on and then you're kind of like, hey, you knew that like, I'm not going to get all this right. And down the way, I think that will plant seeds for a great harvest because there will come a day that your beautiful children will not be the focus of your lives. And statistically, there's some challenges out there when people become the season of life we're in, which is empty nesters, which that's a whole nother conversation.

• 51:11Nick Bare?

  That feels like an eternity.

• 51:13Speaker 01

  I know it does. I know. It's like, well, that's not coming. But like, that's what it is. The law of the harvest, right? You're planting those seeds and if she can look back, and this isn't a fax base, so you can go Steph, I asked you this, so don't get mad at me. But it kind of is like a, you give her that opportunity and even if she has nothing to say, because chances are her world's spinning too. And she's feeling the same struggle of like, I've got my husband I want to care for, but I got the kids and you know, and when you go from one to two, um, this is what's crazy. My nephew, who is younger than my oldest daughter, Hope, just had his second baby. Uh, well, his wife had the baby, but, but they had their

• 51:54Speaker 01

  second child and it's kind of funny and I, I love him so much. We'll hang out sometimes and you know, we've watched football and, and his life is very different now. Um, and man, we went to go see them in the hospital the other day and they're, you know, new baby. And when they got home, it like, it hits. It's, you just go from the two of you focused on this one and there's a lot of nostalgia and then it's like, wait a minute. Well, there's no excuse for anybody because you're both tapped out at the end of the day, you know, doing all this stuff. So it's a challenging times. Build it into the system of your, uh,

• 52:33Speaker 01

  behavior to at least give Steph the opportunity to speak into your life. And I doubt that she feels like she can't do that anyway, but sometimes when you open that door, it helps her feel seen because she probably doesn't even know that she needs that. And sometimes she does, right? Like he's asking me how I feel about our current state of our marriage and is he doing a good job? And I don't know what I would want to say about that, but there's a chance she's going to feel more loved by you because you did that.

• 53:07Nick Bare?

  Yeah.

• 53:07Speaker 01

  And what I'm saying is it might not even make sense today, but down the road, it will mean something to her. And the two of you, when they are out of the way, will actually want to be with one another more. And that's one of the greatest challenges, you know, of getting through that season of life. And then all of a sudden kids are out. That was the only thing we focused on and we missed each other. And you'll miss out on some special times with just the two of you.

• 53:33Nick Bare?

  Oh, I can imagine how challenging that future chapter of life becomes when the kids are gone.

• 53:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:40Nick Bare?

  Because so much of your mission for 18 years is them.

• 53:45Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 53:46Nick Bare?

  And that mission changes.

• 53:48Speaker 01

  But that's what I'm saying. Plant those seeds today.

• 53:50Nick Bare?

  Yeah.

• 53:50Speaker 01

  And let that garden grow and you probably will not even, you might even look over and go, it's just a bunch of weeds. There's something special that, that you just keep watering.

• 54:03Nick Bare?

  It feels pretty weedy sometimes.

• 54:06Nick Bare?

  Well, that's why when you said, it really hit me. You know, driven individuals know where they want to go and are used to giving directions or creating directions on how to get there. Like, that is, that's my bread and butter.

• 54:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:21Nick Bare?

  I know where I want to go. I know what I have to do to get there. But the, the byproduct or the collateral damage of that sometimes is not being a noticer of the other aspects of your life.

• 54:35Speaker 01

  Right.

• 54:35Nick Bare?

  I am really good at head down, blinders up, drive forward.

• 54:42Speaker 01

  Right.

• 54:42Nick Bare?

  Just drive, drive, drive, drive, drive.

• 54:44Speaker 01

  And you see those results, not as fast as you want to see them, but you can actually somewhat engineer them to happen quicker.

• 54:52Nick Bare?

  Right.

• 54:53Speaker 01

  This is different.

• 54:54Nick Bare?

  Yeah.

• 54:55Speaker 01

  It is a harvest that you plant and you water and you plant and you water and it can feel barren for a long time. And that's not even a negative as it sounds. It's just like you, you have moments where you get to reap that harvest, but you're not just planting one plant there. You're trying to continually invest in the one single most important relationship in the one life you've been given, if you are married, and that is your spouse.

• 55:28Nick Bare?

  I mean, the thing I'm, I'm really taken away from this right now is I have to, we have to put myself in the situation, really learn how to

• 55:41Nick Bare?

  approach life in almost two different directions and two different speeds. Where you can't apply your same business ambition tactics and strategy to your, your personal goals and business to your family.

• 55:57Speaker 01

  Right.

• 55:58Nick Bare?

  I've tried that and I think if I'm reflecting right now in real time, I'm doing that right now in certain situations. And I'm, I'm met with this resistance, like, why doesn't this work?

• 56:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:10Nick Bare?

  I know this works in business. Why doesn't this work in my family? We had to approach building a family in a completely different, with a different strategy and a different speed.

• 56:21Speaker 01

  Yeah. It's like trying to put the wrong sized battery in some device and you're going, well, it works over here. Well, that's because it takes a nine volt and that needs a double A or whatever. Like you can use any analogy.

• 56:33Nick Bare?

  Yeah.

• 56:34Speaker 01

  It's just, and that is part of the self-awareness that, you know, and if I could just add this and we can go move on or whatever, but part of what I've also discovered is I want to just find what works so that I can keep doing it because I know how to do something that I, and what I say by avoiding difficulty, it's not that you or I are people accustomed to trying to avoid difficulty and take the easy route. We're not. You're not in your route. I'm not in mine. That's what makes you driven. You actually love to tackle challenges.

• 57:15Speaker 01

  But there's a part in that that is like, if I could just find the secret. And there's a bit of surrender that happens when you just go, and this is what also I mean by the noticer is like, I might not be able to figure out a system to guarantee the results I want, but what I can do is make myself as present as possible, open my ears up, open my eyes up, close my mouth sometimes and be a noticer of this person. That's the human way, but it's very uncomfortable.

• 57:50Nick Bare?

  Yeah.

• 57:50Speaker 01

  It's very uncomfortable until you get a little more accustomed to it. It's hard.

• 57:56Nick Bare?

  I'm thinking back to, you know, we were, we've been to a few parties recently, not like crazy parties, like kids' parties.

• 58:05Speaker 01

  Yeah. It's different.

• 58:07Nick Bare?

  Like birthday parties, like, it's like, you know, different phase in chapter life. But you're introduced to, you know, the kids' parents, then you end up talking to the dads and, you know, all the dads get together and are talking. And as I'm thinking about these two different like speeds and strategies and approaches to the difference between building a family and building a business, for example.

• 58:36Nick Bare?

  I'm really thinking of this in terms like there's, there's,

• 58:40Nick Bare?

  there's two different ways to approach two different things. But I've met dads before, or, you know, moms and dads, who you can tell

• 58:52Nick Bare?

  are very content. They're great parents. They, they have patience. They, they move slow. They're not in a rush. They're, they're not distracted by the work and their, their phone and their email. And I envy this sometimes. But then I, I see them apply that same level of energy to their work. And I'm like, I don't want that.

• 59:19Speaker 01

  You're like, I don't want that.

• 59:20Nick Bare?

  That's lazy. It's lazy. It's not ambitious. They're not driven. So do you believe that you can, you can flip that switch and operate at two different speeds and levels based off of the difference in what needs applied to family and building a family versus career and building a business?

• 59:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, I do. I think it is, it is.

• 59:42Speaker 01

  It, it's different. And I think the distinction is,

• 59:48Speaker 01

  and hey, like there's another, gosh, I'm always like bringing in a third option. But it's another piece of the puzzle to, to think about in life. And it's not so much what's right and wrong. But again, I would just say, what is for you, right? Because we can't control our uh, unattraction to the way they run their business because we just couldn't do it that way. That's not for you.

• 1:00:17Speaker 01

  And I, I'm really hesitant to, to say this and it be misunderstood. But I'll pull another Pastor Pete story out. There's another one of my favorite Old Testament stories where essentially God said, go into this land and check it out because this is the land I'm giving you. And he sent 12 people in to go spy out this land, right? They were these slaves before and they're going into the promised land and we could get into the whole story. But basically he's like, hey, I just want you to know, this is where you're going to live. 12 of them go in, 12 of them come out.

• 1:00:57Speaker 01

  10 of them said, you're right. It's beautiful. It's the land that looks like this and it's got all this. But we aren't going to go in there because there's also giants in there. And so this is clearly not for us. Two of them came out and said, two out of the 12, said, "You're right. It's beautiful. It's land for this and da, da, da." And yes, there are giants, but the Lord our God said he's going to give it to us. So we're going after it. And the 10 said, "No, we're not." And they got voted out. And that's what caused the children of Israel to actually wander in the wilderness for an extra 38 years. My point in that is, in the high level principle,

• 1:01:42Speaker 01

  it's maybe about the same statistic to a degree that we can be negative about the other 10, or we could just say, "There are just some people that have been given some eyes." And this is what I mean by not being misunderstood. I'm not saying some people are better than others, right? But at the end of the day, that just says, "There are just some people who are driven to create some things, and you aren't responsible to be the person who's not driven to create those things. You may just be tapped on the shoulder and called to say, 'That's for you.'" Does that make sense? I mean, I fear a little bit like, "Hey, driven people are better than non-driven people."

• 1:02:25Speaker 01

  But it's kind of, you know, addressing what you're saying of like, maybe for work and business and life, like there's some people that are just can be content with some things and we can't because we're builders and creators. And it's not an arrogant thing to go after that, but it's kind of a, "You're wired to do that, so go do that."

• 1:02:43Nick Bare?

  I think certain people are wired different ways.

• 1:02:45Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 1:02:46Nick Bare?

  You have it built in your DNA.

• 1:02:47Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:02:48Nick Bare?

  And I didn't understand this early on, where I would look at someone that has an opportunity, and I'd think in my head, "Do you realize what you have? The ability or the opportunity to go do, why aren't you going and doing it?" And some people just don't have it.

• 1:03:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:05Nick Bare?

  That drive, that ambition, that want. And that's so hard for me to grasp.

• 1:03:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:11Nick Bare?

  Because I see it as wasted potential.

• 1:03:13Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:03:14Nick Bare?

  Wasted opportunity, not just for the individual good and growth of that one person and their family, but what that can provide for all these other people. And I used to struggle with that so much of, "Don't you get it? Don't you see it? Don't you want it?" And the answer is no.

• 1:03:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:33Nick Bare?

  They don't.

• 1:03:33Speaker 01

  Yeah. And isn't it interesting that it's not always skill-based? Some of the most skilled people are the ones that aren't the driven people. Some of the most driven people aren't super skilled, but they're just scrappy and get it done.

• 1:03:45Nick Bare?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:46Speaker 01

  And so I think that's what also brings us to the challenge that we've spent a lot of time talking about going, well, this is how I operate in this world. And, and, and there is a level of like, you're leading humans here. So you still need to apply those principles to the humans you're leading. But when you rally people around something organizationally or building a company, creating a product or a service that you think can make the world a better place and you believe in it and you give it all you have, like it is different than if we want to use the analogy of just turning our hat around or putting on a different hat or another principle that I was taught as a young dad.

• 1:04:28Speaker 01

  I'm a big football fan and so there's four quarters and someone, there's a whole lesson behind it, but the bottom line was when you get in that car to go home, you're going home to the fourth quarter. And if you give up the fourth quarter, you might as well have given up the game. And who would do that on a football field? You might've been winning the whole day. You might've been losing the whole day. It doesn't matter. You're going to the fourth quarter. You win that fourth quarter.

• 1:04:51Nick Bare?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:51Speaker 01

  That's the most important quarter of the game. Period. I mean, we know that every moment matters, but that's the idea. And so I do think the driven component is what challenges that because we want to take that same mindset into building a family. And that's where we have to make adjustments. That's where we have to pivot. That's where we have to, you know, surrender a bit. And that's where I think being a noticer is very good in all aspects, but that's where we want to go and really be committed to say, you know, I've got to, uh, yeah, put on that different hat. It's different.

• 1:05:36Speaker 01

  You operate differently.

• 1:05:37Nick Bare?

  I mean, I think these conversations are really important and essential because for people who are either in the chapter and season of life or who are about to enter that chapter in season of life. I'll be honest, it is, it is a challenging, hard season of life.

• 1:05:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:00Nick Bare?

  Trying to navigate both being ambitious and build a career and lead people and take care of people in a business here. But then also being very content and fulfilled and, and present at home. Trying to balance that out, as perfect as it may look online through photos and videos and all these things. It is very challenging.

• 1:06:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:25Nick Bare?

  And I constantly feel guilt around it. And I think it's important to, even if there aren't necessarily very tactical solutions.

• 1:06:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:35Nick Bare?

  Just having vulnerable conversations, letting people know it's okay to feel this pull and this guilt and this, this tension. Because it's part of the season, but within that season comes a lot of growth.

• 1:06:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:50Nick Bare?

  That I'm experiencing right now.

• 1:06:51Speaker 01

  Yeah. Well, I mean, you're again, the king of this, like you build something up. Because it got broke down first and you have to restructure and re-energize it or re, you know, work it to be what you want it to be. And it's the same with, you know, our bodies, it's the same with our minds, you know, it's the same with our lives and it's even, even our legacies, you know? You mentioned to me in a couple of questions prior to this, just about legacy and it's, you know,

• 1:07:22Speaker 01

  I don't think anyone comes out of the gate and goes, I know exactly, and I'm gonna do that, and this is how I'm gonna build it, and this is what it's gonna be. And I also think that we have, again, some other pieces at play here. There's what we're in control of. There's what the other people around us are in control of. There is this world we live in and the environment of itself. There's culture around us. There's good and evil around us. And so that's where you have to put yourself in the center of this video game, if you will. Not knowing, is there a hole in the floor there? Is there somebody coming around the corner to shoot me? You know, like you have to just be ready and understand that it might not work out the way that I

• 1:08:07Speaker 01

  really thought and planned it to work out, or it might. But I have to be very present with the moment. I have to make the decisions that only I can make today. And visionary struggles with this as well, like this is what I'm gonna build. This is where I wanna go. And it's, uh, sometimes that's what I mean. And we had this conversation last, last time about just going at a little different pace. And, and it doesn't mean you can't even be going at a couple of different paces at the same time, depending on the environment you're, you're around, you know? And there's been times in my family where I'm able to go at a higher pace. We can go together. But just like the illustration of the body, if you have one part of your body that's hurting, and you recently went through this, it affects everything you do.

• 1:08:51Nick Bare?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:51Speaker 01

  So if you have a part of your priority people that is something, it affects all of you. And so maybe everybody's gotta go at a different pace for a little while. It's just the way that it is. And so, life is about being flexible, being adjustable, um, being humble because you're just gonna have to say, I didn't get there today. And I didn't do it right today. And we didn't get to where we wanted to go today. And that could be business. That could be family, you know?

• 1:09:22Nick Bare?

  I used to take the approach of being the tornado where

• 1:09:24Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:09:25Nick Bare?

  I saw my direction. I had the vision. I knew where I was going.

• 1:09:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:09:28Nick Bare?

  And if you or whatever was in my way.

• 1:09:31Speaker 01

  Yeah. You was just gonna get Crank it up even more.

• 1:09:34Nick Bare?

  You were just gonna get run over in the process. And I just made a lot of mistakes.

• 1:09:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:09:40Nick Bare?

  With that approach. And you had to learn the hard way.

• 1:09:42Speaker 01

  Yeah. But keep in mind, I wanna encourage you to, you have that in you for a reason. It's like another principle that's taught of like, there's a bit in a horse's mouth, and a horse is strong and powerful. But it needs to be led by that to use its power and strength for good and in the right direction.

• 1:10:02Nick Bare?

  Right.

• 1:10:03Speaker 01

  So it's not like, ah, it's so wrong of me to. Want to go, you know, knock the world down? No, it's not. It's just, what am I going after and why? And who's, who's around me? You know?

• 1:10:15Nick Bare?

  And what's, what's the collateral damage?

• 1:10:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's right. Really is what?

• 1:10:18Nick Bare?

  Accept.

• 1:10:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I mean, I think that's what it comes back to over the, the sum total of our life. What was my mission and what were my mission projects along the way? It's not always the same. It's not always long term. It's not always short term. I mean, the mission that our family, that I am in right now is, I, I, I love what I'm skilled to do. And I'm building two things, kind of this coaching, speaking thing to a degree. But we have been entrusted with this population that has a severe lack of unintentional opportunities to grow and develop and reach more potential independence. And that is my mission. So I want to give everything I have in this current season to build something that I think

• 1:11:05Speaker 01

  is not going to solve all of the world's problems. But for the lane that we have been set in to run in, I want to create something that is going to bring good and lasting impact to a community of people that desperately need it.

• 1:11:19Nick Bare?

  I want to talk about that.

• 1:11:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:21Nick Bare?

  Uh, but before we do, so you and Holly have raised two girls.

• 1:11:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:28Nick Bare?

  What are the differences and the similarities between your two daughters?

• 1:11:32Speaker 01

  Hmm, boy, that's a great question.

• 1:11:36Nick Bare?

  For anyone who doesn't know anything about you or your daughters.

• 1:11:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, I smile and kind of laugh. It's a great question because I could tell you the differences very, very quickly. Um, I love the question of the similarities because that's a more uncommon question. So Hope is our oldest. She's 24. Um, Addie is our youngest, so we have two girls. She's 21, just turned 21.

• 1:12:01Nick Bare?

  When did she turn 21?

• 1:12:02Speaker 01

  21, January 30th. So a couple of months she's been 21.

• 1:12:07Nick Bare?

  We're gonna party tonight?

• 1:12:07Speaker 01

  We're gonna party tonight.

• 1:12:11Nick Bare?

  Going out?

• 1:12:12Speaker 01

  We are now, that's right. Yeah. Um, free and clear. Um, so.

• 1:12:20Speaker 01

  I'll just cut to the chase, like, the difference is, are, it's hard for me to not talk about Hope, and I shared earlier, you know, she was, she was born, went into respiratory distress, caused a gap in her brain is the best way to describe it, you know, diagnosed with cerebral palsy, so we're part of the special needs community. Addie, neurotypical, none of those challenges of those, but wiring of differences, Addie is, Addie is naturally

• 1:13:01Speaker 01

  more independent, she's gonna go and do her thing. Hope, because of her circumstances, was placed into this world needing more support around her. So, there's a, there's a big gap there between them. What's interesting, though, and I love the question of similarities, is they're both, I would just say, they're both dogs in their own way. Like, Hope, if you say, "Hey, we're gonna leave for three days," I would never say, this would break my heart, actually, and like, but if she was somewhere and had to find a way to eat food and get to where she needed to go, like, she is a survivor, she's gonna make it happen,

• 1:13:42Speaker 01

  even with her challenges. Addie, I would say it's the same way. Different circumstances, but Addie is going to, she's going to, she is a leader by nature, she is going to talk to people, she's going to align circumstances, she might use a little bit of her somewhat natural, can be for good, can be not for good, she's gonna manipulate somebody to make it happen, and she's gonna get to where she needs to go. So, a lot of different character, and different, you know, pieces of differences, but man, I love that similar, they are both people that have been placed in this, in this world, and they are going to make it

• 1:14:25Speaker 01

  happen. And Hope's deficiencies, if you will, have strongly impacted Addie's life, and that is something that's just come to fruition in the last couple of years.

• 1:14:37Nick Bare?

  That's probably really cool to see.

• 1:14:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's amazing. It's, it, I could...

• 1:14:43Speaker 01

  I get, and it's hard for me to get speechless. I get kinda speechless talking about it because Addie's desire as about to be a senior in college, graduate with a business management degree from Sanford University, she's invested a lot. We've invested a lot into this season. And for her to start to come out with a year left going, what do I want to do with my life? Well, I think I might want to leverage those business skills that I'm learning and my leadership into a people group that I grew up with, which most people in that situation, or many, might want to run away from. And she's running towards it, going, I think I want to do this. And that's why she's here in Austin, working at Marbridge for the summer,

• 1:15:25Speaker 01

  to learn what does a professional life look like, working with adults with special needs? And I'm just sitting here going, we did not drive her in this direction. We did not tell her that, you know, she went on her own and wanted to go to Sanford and do a business degree and, you know, and now she's coming out of this going, and she's seeing what we're building with Beyond Communities, and she's very interested and wants to be a part, and it just couldn't throw my heart more, you know, so proud of her.

• 1:15:53Nick Bare?

  I was listening to this podcast this morning, and it was this very successful, older entrepreneur. And he was talking about the environment that he grew up in, and why he thinks the way he was raised has attributed to his success in business. And he said when he was younger, he'd come home from school with a problem, he'd tell his dad, and his dad would say, you'll figure it out. And for the longest time, he thought his dad was saying this because his dad didn't have any interest or care, even though his dad helped him in all the other parts of life, with sports and school and all these things. And he eventually

• 1:16:34Nick Bare?

  realized that his dad truly did believe in him, and had the confidence that he would figure it out.

• 1:16:41Speaker 01

  Right, yeah.

• 1:16:42Nick Bare?

  So he was saying, you're gonna figure it out.

• 1:16:44Speaker 01

  Oh, that's so good. I love that.

• 1:16:46Nick Bare?

  And then he would go figure it out. So as I was running this morning, I'm listening to this podcast, I'm thinking, I want my kids to have that same level of confidence of, when they come across something that's hard, an obstacle or resistance, they don't come to mom and dad saying, can you fix this?

• 1:17:07Nick Bare?

  They have the confidence that they can be resourceful and go figure it out on their own.

• 1:17:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:17:12Nick Bare?

  We will be there if they need help, but it's not the first option. It's not the first solution. They're gonna go find it. And it sounds like your kids have that same. I love describing people that have like a dog in them.

• 1:17:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:17:24Nick Bare?

  Just that dog.

• 1:17:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:17:25Nick Bare?

  Is ready to fight.

• 1:17:27Speaker 01

  Different ways, you know, and, and, and I would say too, like, there's some things you can take credit as parents for. There's some things that your kids have to decide on their own and it really kinda has nothing to do with you. Um, in their element, right? They have their own responsibility. What will they do with what's been given to them? And you can give them everything. And I don't mean material things. I mean the guidance that you're talking about. And then there's the environment around them that can absolutely, you know, uh, make this even more better for them. And we have been able to be aware of some places for hope, like Shepherd's College,

• 1:18:10Speaker 01

  like the Edge Program at Union University now, like different jobs or other environments or programs, like Special Olympics and many different organizations that our family has been a recipient of the programs they specifically designed for my child that doesn't quote, "fit into the regular sway of life." And those environments have absolutely enhanced that dog. And they've also given a hunger for independence for adults with some form of intellectual developmental disability. Um, and I would say the same, part of Holly and I's, you know, commitment and devotion to sacrifice,

• 1:18:53Speaker 01

  especially in a season of our world where we, we make whatever like we hunt for, like we, you know, we both work for ourselves and, and, and we're trying to build this thing and all that to say. Placing both girls in private colleges is a big decision for us, especially at a season where our lives and careers have shifted, mine specifically. And we've done that because we believe in an environment where, I'll just say where Addie has been, it's, it's, it's, that is another piece of it. And you can't always control that, but seeing their lives and what they are doing with what's been given to them. And I think it's very important that you, what you just said when you're raising kids

• 1:19:37Speaker 01

  is, it's not so much that, like, you don't want them to come ask you for help, but there's been times, and I'll use Addie, in my conversations with her as she's grown, I've had to pull the reins in and say, hey, you need to let dad help you with this a little bit. And, and I think, I would rather, it's kind of like having a player on your football team that's always getting a little chippy out there, not such a bad problem if they just care about winning and they care about what they want to be there. It's just hard to push a string, right? Yeah. So, it's okay, and you'll probably have to pull your kids in a little bit and go, let's ask for some guidance here, but they'll be like, I can do, I can figure this out on my own, right?

• 1:20:20Speaker 01

  So, i- it's a little bit of that, little bit of that, you know, give and take. One quick story about Addie, when she was in middle school, we were having some really difficult seasons with her, and I know she'll listen to this, but, but we've talked a lot about it. And her freshman year of high school was like a, maybe one of the worst moments for that. And I, I don't know where this came from, I just had this thought, I'm like, I, I feel like I need to say something and have some sort of a, a piece, like some sort of a, a physical goal, and I, in, in mind, and I said, over the next four years, my goal is to hand you a baton. And at the end of that, you're going to be 18, you're going to be an adult, obviously

• 1:21:05Speaker 01

  you're not like, out of the house and I'll never help you again. But basically, like, these next four years, there's going to be times when I'm not going to want to let you go, and I'm going to need to release the baton a little bit more. And then there's times you're going to want to go further than you really are capable at this age, and you're going to, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. And it's a little bit of this tug of war. And on her 18th birthday, I had this, uh, this-

• 1:21:29Speaker 01

  Like like baton, like this race baton made and engraved with her name. And I said, you did it in a scripture. And I put it in a nice case and I presented it to her and just said, you, you, you did well. And I gave her that. She still has that baton today, you know? And I think that's part of the, the whole thing of like, our kids are gonna wanna go too fast. And then we're gonna wanna sometimes hang on and not let them experience pain. And that's the idea of like, get behind them. And then at the right time, you let them go and then you just become the fuel to them, you know?

• 1:22:01Nick Bare?

  I'm gonna steal that from you.

• 1:22:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, do it, do it.

• 1:22:03Nick Bare?

  Sometimes when I think about Charlie specifically, cuz you know, she's three. Nico's still so young right now. But I think about Charlie in situations that she's scared or uncomfortable or getting picked on. I get like physically emotional. It just makes me feel, I don't want, I know they're gonna, I know my kids are gonna get there and they're gonna experience hurt and discomfort. But you just don't want your kids to ever feel that.

• 1:22:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:22:36Nick Bare?

  I was laying in bed the other night with her, like putting her down, thinking about that. Ah, you don't even wanna like, I don't even wanna that to ever be a thing. How do I protect them forever? How do I just keep her next to me? And it's such like a, a growing part of, of life right now.

• 1:22:54Speaker 01

  It's where your natural, God-given instinct to protect is challenged with a tension of, I've gotta let them figure this out.

• 1:23:05Nick Bare?

  That's tough.

• 1:23:06Speaker 01

  It's hard.

• 1:23:07Nick Bare?

  It's tough.

• 1:23:07Speaker 01

  It's hard. I think of moments that my kids went through that. And I had to not walk across the street and pick up a six-year-old and throw him against a wall. A little girl, by the way. Who was being mean to across the street.

• 1:23:21Nick Bare?

  We were at like a coffee shop at the day and that little kid was just getting a little rough. And I wanted to step in, but then I just, I held back a little bit.

• 1:23:32Speaker 01

  She needs you to not go to jail. So that's probably a good motivator, right?

• 1:23:36Nick Bare?

  Where's his dad at?

• 1:23:37Speaker 01

  Let's find the dad.

• 1:23:38Nick Bare?

  Is this your daughter?

• 1:23:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:23:39Nick Bare?

  Is this your son?

• 1:23:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:23:41Nick Bare?

  So at what point in in Hope's life, did you realize that there were limited options for an independent way of living post school?

• 1:23:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:23:56Nick Bare?

  How long ago is that?

• 1:23:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, she graduated high school in 2020. We had just moved from Columbus, Ohio to Georgia, back to the Atlanta area where we primarily, I would say, raised the girls and then Nashville and Ohio and back. And it wasn't like we were not aware that this was coming. You know it is, but you're just trying to survive, you know? And it was at that moment where I tell people, this is my description, I felt like we had been walking towards this cliff for a long time, but I could now feel the wind, which means, oh, my God, we're close to this cliff. Cliff, meaning when school is done, that is at least in our world,

• 1:24:39Speaker 01

  a daily scheduled, structured thing for 18 years, or not 18 years, whatever, do the math, whatever, from five to 18 or whatever. And then there's usually a couple of years until they're, let's just say, 18 or 19 or whenever they graduate high school. And there's always some transition academy, but at the age of 22 in most states, there's a few states that go beyond, there's no more of that scheduled programming. And you just at least on a surface level go, oh, my God, what are we going to do? What's she going to do? What I'm going to do, you know? So that's when I felt like I felt the wind and my wife and I did. And we're like, what are we going to do? And she went to a transition academy for one year after high school. She graduated high school and did that.

• 1:25:24Speaker 01

  And then we discovered Shepherd's College. But it was at that moment, and I will never forget it, it was at the end of Uh, so she graduated in 2020. So it was the end of 2019 that we start that it was like one day it just hit you. You know, you know, when something's coming, but you're going, it's here. That's when it hit. And that's when, and I also watched this movie called Peanut Butter Falcon. If you've not seen that. I've seen that. Oh, God, it's so good. And I remember it was around that time. And I watched that and the whole storyline behind that is this youngish adult, and by the way, young can mean many numbers in the special needs world, especially can be for all of us, but who

• 1:26:09Speaker 01

  didn't want to live in a retirement home with grandparents, wanted to go on his own. So he runs away, you know, and discovers this, this guide, this pal. And it was like, through that, as, as maybe silly as that seems, and through experiencing that, is when I kind of made this behind the scenes, little shake hand deal with God of like, we are going to go see what are the options. Cause you know, as shameful as you can feel like, I don't know what they are. You're just trying to survive, but here we are. And I'll take a year to try to figure that out. And if we don't see anything, or something that's doable for her, then we will commit to create something. And that's what happened.

• 1:26:52Speaker 01

  So from 2019 to 2020, and it was a wild time for all of that. And in February of 2020 is when I sat down and with my journal, not meaning to, and just started writing and some of the first words were beyond communities. And it was helping the world see that there is something beyond this after school. Cause these individuals are kind of seen as children. And then as soon as they reach an adult age at 18, 20, graduate high school, we unintentionally move them to a senior adult category without saying that. And I don't mean that people mean to do that, but it's kind of like, now let's just care for them for the rest of their life. And for those that have high care needs, great. It's what's necessary.

• 1:27:37Speaker 01

  For those in Hope's ability category, in her lane of a disability, she doesn't want to do that. She wants to go do the things that other young adults want to do. Maybe she wants to go to college, which we never even dreamed of, but discovered Shepherd's College and then the program she's in now. So. It was around that 2019, felt the wind, 2020, wrote in my journal, started just writing out, well, what would life look like? What are the things she needs and wants? And what could we create? Like, what could I actually engineer? And then my builder mindset kicked in, and we still had no idea what we were doing. And then I just started traveling and visiting and meeting places. And in 2020, when, actually, when I was here to do, this

• 1:28:18Speaker 01

  hasn't really, really hit me, but when I was here to do your workshop, I had a friend that said, you need to go meet the guy at Marbridge, Scott McAvoy, who's now the president and CEO of where Addie is doing her summer inter. It was that year, I drove from Round Rock down to

• 1:28:34Nick Bare?

  Oh, wow.

• 1:28:35Speaker 01

  Marbridge. And then I went up to BIG, which is Brookwood in Georgetown.

• 1:28:39Nick Bare?

  Yeah, we knew that family.

• 1:28:41Speaker 01

  You know those guys?

• 1:28:42Nick Bare?

  Yeah, BIG.

• 1:28:44Speaker 01

  And so that was the year. It was your workshop that brought me here that allowed me to meet Scott. So that's just wild. I just kind of put some of those pieces together.

• 1:28:53Nick Bare?

  Did Addie have any interest at that point?

• 1:28:54Speaker 01

  No, I mean, this is what's interesting. Addie, growing up with Hope in the home, she wasn't disinterested. And we have this amazing little thing, I gotta find it somewhere. I've taken a picture of it. We have it, where she wrote, you know, a school project, she might have been in third, fourth grade, and it was like, what do you want to do with your life? And it was so amazing. She wrote this, I want to help people with special needs, you know. But for the most part of her life, and she would tell you this, she's like, I wasn't interested because I didn't need to be interested. I lived with it. You know, it's like, there was no need. But when Hope graduated, and then after the Transition Academy went to college, and Hope was no longer in the home, Addie became a best buddy

• 1:29:37Speaker 01

  at school. She became more interested. I think the vacancy of that in her day to day world, which came along with some Great challenges for her, and that's I think what formed her to be the person she is.

• 1:29:52Speaker 01

  It piqued that somewhat interest and then it's like, I'm going to college, I want to figure out my life and do the thing. And so, yeah, but growing up, I don't think in middle school, high school years, she would have said like, I'll be doing this.

• 1:30:06Nick Bare?

  Right.

• 1:30:07Speaker 01

  So, or pursuing it.

• 1:30:09Nick Bare?

  That's cool. It's that full circle.

• 1:30:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's wild.

• 1:30:12Nick Bare?

  Now you guys are back here in Austin.

• 1:30:14Speaker 01

  Yep, yep.

• 1:30:15Nick Bare?

  Exploring Addie's next chapter of life.

• 1:30:18Speaker 01

  Yep, she's serving as a camp counselor at Marbridge to adults with special needs. It's a week of campers every week, a different week from ages 18 to 80. So she will be caring for adults from 18 to 80 as a camp counselor, different group every week. And she's living here in Austin, June and July, spending her summer doing that. So it's amazing.

• 1:30:42Nick Bare?

  The hot months.

• 1:30:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, the hot, it's already hot. Good God, man. I mean, is this early for hot?

• 1:30:48Nick Bare?

  This is early for hot.

• 1:30:49Speaker 01

  I thought so.

• 1:30:49Nick Bare?

  Come July, August, September, you'll be cooking.

• 1:30:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:30:55Nick Bare?

  So where are you at right now? Yeah, I know, I've been following, you know, and staying in communication with you for these last two plus years, or beyond, communities actively right now, where are you at with it, this project?

• 1:31:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, we were working on a piece of property and in a campaign for two years to buy a small piece of land, build six townhomes in a mixed use development. Our vision has always been go to mixed use areas because of the accessibility, because of the activity, because of the structure, the safety, and give our residents a place to live and then appropriately support them with a more of a coaching model. Kind of an advisor or a, you know, a caseworker for life and helps then help them assist them in living on their own, getting a job, working, having community, just like the rest of us,

• 1:31:49Speaker 01

  just having some support, you know, the idea is an individual with special needs, more intellectual disabilities, some developmental as well, but higher functioning individuals that just can't quite live on their own. And we're trying to fill in the gap. So we've been in a project for two years in December. That, that specific location came off the table. And so from January to today, we've been pursuing, okay, well, where's the next? We're already, we were already identifying places around Atlanta because our big vision is to take this idea all over the country. Austin would be an amazing area to do this. Where parents can potentially retire or they already live in that area,

• 1:32:31Speaker 01

  but their young adults can live there for a period of life, say 15, 10, 20 years, and have a job, but living in that kind of an environment. And there's a community near us in Atlanta where we live that I have been having very intentional conversations with, with city officials, with a developer. This week, coming up, I've got some big meetings with some contractor individuals because we've identified an actual building. And I haven't even said this to our followers publicly because it's not a real reality, but you and I are sitting here talking about it. And there's some other options in this same community. The city is actually doing some new mixed use developments and they love what we want to do.

• 1:33:15Speaker 01

  And they've talked about some lease to purchase options where they want us to be a percentage of the residents in these new communities. And they love all that. So, but there's actually a building, it's about 38,000 square feet, 16,000 square feet, two levels, where we would essentially build 20 to 25, one bedroom, you know.

• 1:33:39Speaker 01

  Studio type apartments for residents and there would be plenty of room for like a common space, a little health area to, for gym, a kitchen, couple of offices. And, um, but we don't know what the build out is going to be. And so we need to get some real numbers before we tackle that. But that is where I'm at today. We've raised probably um, around total in just the few years we've been trying to raise funds, I would say 750 to 850,000 dollars, probably more, but we have very little operating expense right now because we're really not like paying salaries. We do so some small, but we're just fundraising

• 1:34:19Speaker 01

  and we, when the project location fell apart or we, you know, backed out of that deal in December, we put the money we had been raising towards that in a money market. It's getting 4%, which is great right now. So we're trying to be smart with what we have. And um, once we get a, a, a number on the build out of this building, which if that works, it's amazing because it's another mixed use development right there. And then up the street is a fully redeveloped, cool little old town downtown with restaurants and uh, working space and all of, a lot of job opportunities. So the whole idea is they could live there, be accessible

• 1:35:03Speaker 01

  to the community, serve there, do the whole thing.

• 1:35:05Nick Bare?

  What's the town?

• 1:35:06Speaker 01

  Town is called Canton, Georgia.

• 1:35:08Nick Bare?

  Oh yeah, Canton.

• 1:35:09Speaker 01

  You know Canton?

• 1:35:10Nick Bare?

  I know of Canton.

• 1:35:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:35:11Nick Bare?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:11Speaker 01

  I live in Woodstock, which is literally down the street, but Canton's right there.

• 1:35:14Nick Bare?

  I was in this amazing part of Georgia, Alpharetta?

• 1:35:19Speaker 01

  Oh yeah. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:35:20Nick Bare?

  Alpharetta.

• 1:35:21Speaker 01

  Alpharetta is, yeah.

• 1:35:23Nick Bare?

  Wow.

• 1:35:24Speaker 01

  Alpharetta is the, Alpharetta is the, the suburb around Atlanta that is, and, and Milton, where we were, love that area too. Like it's very, very, very nice, very developing. Um, it's another identified community that we love to do something with. What I love about Canton right now is Canton is a little older town, smaller town, currently in the developing process. So as far as investment and even, you know,

• 1:35:57Speaker 01

  I wouldn't say pennies on the dollar, but it's a great opportunity for us to jump in on the development of it, both for Beyond Communities financial picture, because I don't want to bite off more than we can chew, so to speak, is part of why we backed out of the other project. But that community also is, they want us there. So that's what we're pursuing and working very hard to get something real. And now we have something visible to go back to our donors and our followers, and then we'll create another campaign, depending on if it's that building or one of the other projects. And we would love as soon as possible to build this, create

• 1:36:37Speaker 01

  this, outfit this, have a Beyond Communities, that's our prototype, our flagship, if you will. And then we want to take that model and go all over.

• 1:36:47Nick Bare?

  Well, you know, I'm more than happy to support in any way.

• 1:36:51Speaker 01

  I know you are, and I appreciate it. You always have been.

• 1:36:53Nick Bare?

  It's near and dear to my heart. My mom grew up being a teacher in special education. She taught life skills. She was then supervisor of special education in the school district. My mom and dad coached Special Olympics. My dad still does coach Special Olympics. So it's always been a part of our life. And as you start going after this next chapter of growth and fundraising, we want to be involved.

• 1:37:24Speaker 01

  Awesome.

• 1:37:24Nick Bare?

  We want to support and help.

• 1:37:26Speaker 01

  I will keep you in the journey, and I always have, because you've always opened that door, and I appreciate it, and I know you mean that. So, thank you.

• 1:37:32Nick Bare?

  I appreciate it, Pete.

• 1:37:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, thank you.

• 1:37:34Nick Bare?

  Well, another great conversation.

• 1:37:36Speaker 01

  Yep, in the books.

• 1:37:38Nick Bare?

  Well, like I had mentioned in the beginning, I look up to you, and many...

• 1:37:48Nick Bare?

  Different ways of my life from being a father, being a husband, committed, being present, being a noticer, as you say, but then also just as I continue to build my relationship with God and lean into my faith and ensure that as I pursue all of these accomplishments and ambitions that I don't forget or neglect that very important part in pieces of my life. And just watching you build and what you've done and I'm excited to meet Addie tonight and spend time with you and Holly. So I appreciate you for everything you do.

• 1:38:26Speaker 01

  Thank you. I appreciate that. Grateful for you.

• 1:38:30Nick Bare?

  Until next time.

• 1:38:30Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:38:31Nick Bare?

  To the stock sticky toffee date pudding tonight.

• 1:38:35Speaker 01

  You better, we'll have, you'll have a report on this for the next podcast of how that goes.

• 1:38:39Nick Bare?

  I can't wait.

• 1:38:40Speaker 01

  It's gonna be great. I'm excited. I'm ready.

• 1:38:43Nick Bare?

  All right. Thanks, Pete.

• 1:38:44Speaker 01

  Thank you.