You Gone Learn: The Moth Radio Hour

This Episode originally aired on May 3rd, 2022. In this hour, stories of education, illumination, or just being schooled. The lessons learned from communities new and old, on top of a glacier, and from children. This episode is hosted by Moth host Jon Goode. The Moth Radio Hour is produced by The Moth and Jay Allison of Atlantic Public Media. Storytellers: Dan Souza teaches English and learns about Hungarian karaoke. Jen Rubin plans to be spontaneous. Matty Struski learns about resiliency, and slides. Diane Harari learns that piano recitals are child's play. Burnell Cotlon returns to the Lower Ninth Ward after Hurricane Katrina to rebuild the community he loves. Podcast # 763

• 0:13Speaker 00

  This is the Moth Radio Hour. I'm your host, John Good. And there's one thing I know to be true. Every day, I learn something new. Here are three things I've learned recently. Number one, not long ago, I ate at a Michelin star restaurant, and I learned that the reason it's called a Michelin star is because the meal cost as much as new tires. Number two, if a person in New Orleans comes up to you at 3:00 in the morning on Bourbon Street and asks if you want to see something, the answer is no. The answer is always no. And number three, all of life is a teacher, and we are but humble students. In this hour, we bring you five stories where our storytellers learn a little or a big

• 0:56Speaker 00

  something along the way. Our first story comes from Dan Souza. He told this at a Story Slam in Boston, where we partnered with PRX and public radio station WBUR. Here's Dan, live at the Moth.

• 1:15Speaker 01

  Thank you. So when I graduated college, I didn't want to work. I just didn't want a job. So I did what I thought at the time was the smartest thing possible. And that was to go teach English in a rural town in Hungary, about 30 minutes from Romania, by myself. And, yeah, I didn't know why no one else applied for the position.

• 1:51Speaker 01

  I just thought I was a really good applicant. So, so I arrived there and uh, I, I, when I was in the car from the airport to the village, the people, like the coordinator who, her name was Kotta, she was explaining to me what was going on. She's like, "So you're, you know, you're the only American who will be in the village." And I was like, "Oh, that's cool. Like, you know, I'd love to meet a lot of different people." Uh, you know, who else is gonna be there?" She was like, "Oh, no, I'm sorry. I, I misheard." Like, "You're the only foreigner who's going to be in the village." Uh, "Just gonna be you and fifteen hundred Hungarians."

• 2:29Speaker 01

  And I was like, "Great, you know, immersion, that's..."

• 2:33Speaker 01

  "That's a hot thing. I don't speak Hungarian, so probably learn a lot."

• 2:39Speaker 01

  And so, so we get there and I set onto my apartment, which turns out to be um, a small little room attached to the schoolhouse where I'll be teaching. And I share a wall with the, uh, the teacher's kind of like lounge, teacher's lounge. And in the teacher's lounge are forty middle-aged women who arrive about 5:30 in the morning and have really, really loud conversations about, I guess, what happened the night before? Or dreams they had.

• 3:12Speaker 01

  Can't imagine what happened. So much happened, uh, since when they left, you know, the day before. So I wasn't getting a lot of sleep and every time I left my apartment, I was just stared at, you know. So, uh, Hungari- Hungary is, is not a homogenous society looks-wise, but it's fifteen hundred people and they know who the American guy is, who's here to teach. So, I'm just constantly getting stares. I feel really weird. I feel really kind of separated. So, for my first couple of weeks, you know, I go and do the classes and then I pretty much spend my time uh, in my apartment discovering the world of Hungarian beer and wine. And-

• 3:54Speaker 01

  Figuring out how to get the BBC on my TV. So, I'm not feeling great about my decision at this point. But, the weekend after the second week, they had a school fundraiser at the local restaurant. Which was basically a big function hall, a leftover building from the communist block era. It's all concrete, but they strung up a bunch of flyers and, you know, they made it this big thing. So, I went to it and Katya, the coordinator, quickly informs me that I'm the guest of honor for the night. And so, what that means, I mean, in various countries, I'm sure it means different things.

• 4:30Speaker 01

  In Hungary, that means every three to six minutes, someone will come by and do a shot with you. And, so it's a little bit like college. And so, you know, I don't want to be rude, so I do a lot of shots with different people in my role as guest of honor. So, the night goes on and I'm feeling a little more comfortable because I'm pretty drunk. And then the music starts. So, some of my students get up and do some traditional dance while a band plays and it's great. And we're all dancing a little bit. And then Katya turns to me and she says, "They want you to sing."

• 5:14Speaker 01

  And I was like, "Oh, well, I'm not really a singer. I don't really sing." And they're like, "No, no, no, no. You have to sing." And I was like, "I have to sing. Okay, so I will." So, I get up. I get up into the stage area and they hand me a mic. And I've got a fair amount of courage at this point, just from what I've been consuming. And so, a song comes on, but just the backing track to the song comes on. And it's Louis Armstrong's "What a Wonderful World." And I don't know how many of you listened to that song a lot in high school and college, but I didn't listen to it very much.

• 5:51Speaker 01

  Just busy with other stuff, so...

• 5:54Speaker 01

  I definitely knew the tune in my head, but the words were very few and far between. But I just started into it because, you know, I had had a lot to drink at this point. So I said, "The, uh, the colors of the rainbow

• 6:13Speaker 01

  are pretty and bright.

• 6:17Speaker 01

  They're not my favorite colors, but that's alright."

• 6:24Speaker 01

  And I think to myself, "What a wonderful world."

• 6:32Speaker 01

  Everyone in the place stands up

• 6:36Speaker 01

  in a round of applause that I have never seen before in my life. Three hundred people stand and start applauding me. And in that instance, I realized two things. One, I'm not a stranger in this land, I am a celebrity.

• 6:54Speaker 01

  And two, no one here speaks English.

• 7:00Speaker 01

  At all. So then I just go for it.

• 7:07Speaker 01

  I see ninja turtles fight

• 7:12Speaker 01

  with nunchucks and bows.

• 7:16Speaker 01

  They'll kill the foot, as I already know.

• 7:21Speaker 01

  And I think to myself, "What a wonderful world."

• 7:29Speaker 01

  Much like this, much like this.

• 7:34Speaker 01

  Feel like I'm back there right now. And I don't stop there.

• 7:39Speaker 01

  I hear my sister fart. We're in church. She gets in big trouble, but I still get dessert.

• 7:52Speaker 01

  And I think to myself, "What a wonderful world."

• 8:11Speaker 00

  That was Dan Souza.

• 8:14Speaker 00

  Dan is the editor in chief of Cooks Illustrated at America's Test Kitchen.

• 8:22Speaker 00

  I asked if he learned any Hungarian. He said, yes, he did learn to say hello, which is "sza." He liked saying it to people he passed on the street because it always seemed to improve their mood. But what Dan never learned were the lyrics to "What a Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong.

• 8:50Speaker 00

  Our next storyteller, who's going to learn something today, I said that in my Kevin Hart voice, is coming to you from our Open Mic Story Slams in Madison, Wisconsin, where public radio station WPR is our partner. Jen Rubin is not only a wonderful storyteller, but the regional producer of the Madison Story Slams. A dual threat, or rather, a dual delight because neither you nor I want to be threatened twice. Here's Jen, live at the mall.

• 9:20Speaker 02

  So it took me climbing a glacier to get a new perspective on life. I don't know if it was the altitude or what, but it suddenly occurred to me that my life sucked. I wasn't doing the work I wanted to do. I was still in the Midwest. I hadn't managed to get back to New York City. And I hadn't had a relationship that lasted longer than a few months. And maybe it was the altitude, I don't know. But it became clear to me suddenly that the problem was that I was just too passive, that I didn't take any risks, and that from this day forward, I was going to be spontaneous. So I got back home and I told my friends this, I was pretty excited about the new

• 10:00Speaker 02

  plan, and they said, "You can't actually plan to be spontaneous." Do you misunderstand the word? But I knew I was on to something and it was gonna happen. So, fast forward a little while, I started dating someone and we were together, I don't know, six months, nine months, and we were in the kind of cagey stage of a relationship where, "I don't know how I feel about you, how do you feel about me?" kind of thing. "I don't know about moving with you to New York," you know, that kind of thing. And so, I was sort of getting stuck in inertia and I had spent many years in inertia and I was hoping not to spend more time there. And I went out for drinks with one of my very practical friends and I was having one

• 10:45Speaker 02

  of those kind of evenings you can have in your twenties where you sort of dissect your life in excruciating detail, you know, every inch of it. And as we were talking, she said to me, and Ruth was a problem solver and I was not a problem solver, she said, "It sounds to me like you should just propose to Matt." Matt was my boyfriend. And I thought about it for a minute and I realized the only relationships I had managed to sustain for longer than four months were the unrequited ones that I had been in. And I was looking to, you know, not, you know, have a longer relationship that was requited. And so, I thought about it and I said, "You know, that's a great idea, 'cause that really sounds like something a spontaneous person would do." So, "I am gonna propose."

• 11:30Speaker 02

  And so, by the time I got home, I was pretty sure I wasn't gonna propose anymore. But I walked in the door and my housemate handed me the phone and it was Ruth, my practical friend, and she said, "So what's your plan?" And I said, "Well, I don't really have a plan." And she said, "Okay, what are you doing Saturday night?" And I said, "Well, actually, like, as luck would have it, I'm going to the movies, so I can't propose." And she said, "Well, uh, what are you doing Friday night?" And she got me, because I had no plans. So, um, I said, "I'm gonna propose to Matt." And I hung up the phone, and I quickly called Matt before I chickened out, and I said, "Pick me up on Friday, I look good." And, uh, called an Italian restaurant in town, made a reservation.

• 12:13Speaker 02

  And then, it occurred to me that I had only four days to prepare. So, on Monday, I tried on every outfit in my closet till I found the one I looked best in. Tuesday, I drove through a snowstorm to get the engagement leather jacket, because I figured I had to give him something. And then, on Wednesday, I developed sort of my fail-safe plan, because I really hoped that with this, like, new perspective on life, I was going to be bold while I did this bold thing of proposing. But I also knew myself, and if only one thing went wrong, I would be completely derailed. I would probably say something so self-effacing, he would have no idea that I proposed.

• 12:54Speaker 02

  So I, I made sort of like a Burma shave on index cards, and on each index card, I wrote one thing I loved about him, color-coded. And then, um, on the last one, it said, "Therefore..." dot, dot, dot. And that would be my cue to propose. And I really hoped I wouldn't use this, I really hoped I'd be bolder than that, but it just made me feel good, knowing that it was tucked away in the leather jacket box. So then, Thursday, what did I do Thursday? Oh, Thursday, I thought about every possible answer he could give me, I thought there were nine. And, uh, and so, I, I, like, kind of wrote out an answer for each one. And then, on Friday, I took the day off of work, and I rented romantic comedies to get in the mood.

• 13:36Speaker 02

  And then, I realized I couldn't just stick the leather jacket in my purse, so I went and dropped it off early at the restaurant. And I said, "Could you bring this out with the dessert?" And they said, "Sure, what's the occasion?" And so, I said, "Well, it's his birthday."

• 13:54Speaker 02

  Which, some of you are smarter than I was at the time. Because I thought, well, what if he said no and then I'd be embarrassed in front of total strangers? So, so that's what I did. So anyhow, fast forward to the meal and it's clear something is a little off because I'm not eating. And, and, and then they come for dessert and they ask what we want for dessert. And Matt, in an unprecedented move, said, "I'm full and I don't want dessert." And so I, and also, sort of unprecedented move, because I usually eat all the bread at restaurants. I said, "Actually, I want dessert. We must have dessert." So, Matt goes and excuses himself because he doesn't know what's about to happen, but he knows something's about to happen.

• 14:38Speaker 02

  So, the dessert comes out, there's, you know, as you can imagine, the candle on the pie. And it's, they're singing "Happy Birthday" and it's one of those restaurants where all the waitstaff sings "Happy Birthday" and the whole restaurant's singing "Happy Birthday" and, you know, Matt's just saying, "It's not my birthday. I'm making, I'm making eye contact with nobody." And then, and then they leave and then Matt looks at me and I pull out the index cards in defeat and I hand it to him and I'm like, "Just read it." So, he reads each card, he gets to the "Therefore..." I do rise to the occasion and I do ask him if he will marry me and he does say yes right away, which is lovely.

• 15:21Speaker 02

  But, I can't really leave it there because the problem is that I hadn't told my instinct about my new perspective and my instinct has screwed me my whole life. And so I said, "Are you sure?

• 15:36Speaker 02

  Don't you need a little time to think about it?" Because that was what I thought he would say. But, but he was sure and he didn't need any time. Thank you.

• 15:51Speaker 00

  Jen Rubin, recently published "We Are Staying: Eighty Years in the Life of a Family, a Store, and a Neighborhood." She says she's sure she can make you care about an appliance store you've never heard of, if only you'll read it. Challenge accepted, Jen Rubin. Challenge accepted. You can find a link to "We Are Staying" at themoth.org. Jen said her wedding was a low-key outdoor affair on a humid New Jersey day, where she was surrounded by family, friends, fun, and a funky klezmer band. Three words I never anticipated hearing in the same sentence are funky and klezmer band. So, thank you for that, Jen.

• 16:29Speaker 00

  I asked Jen if she learned to be more spontaneous, and she said mostly, "No." After our break, a young girl going headfirst down a slide, and a lady sliding up the piano scales, where The Moth Radio Hour continues.

• 16:56Speaker 03

  The Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts.

• 17:06Speaker 00

  This is The Moth Radio Hour. I'm John Good. This is an hour all about learning and lessons. Our next story is from husband, part-time writer, and full-time stay-at-home dad, Matty Struski. He told us at a Moth Story Slam in Los Angeles, we'll be partnered with public radio station KCRW. Here's Matty.

• 17:29Speaker 04

  When I ask my daughter, I say, "Rain, what do you do when you topple over?" She answers, "I get back up." Rain just turned three in November, and she's already toppled over more times than I can count. And for her, it can be incredibly frustrating, and as a parent, it can be downright heartbreaking to see. And in most ways, she's just like every other kid out there, you know? She loves space and animals and the movie Frozen and dinosaurs and playgrounds. And there's this one playground we go to all the time that it's got a structure that's actually shaped like a dinosaur. It's got steps for a tail and a bridge and a tunnel for a back and a slide for a face. And it's as amazing as it sounds. And she loves the thing. And other kids can run and jump all over this thing really easily. And for Rain, it's a bit of a challenge.

• 18:15Speaker 04

  She primarily gets around doing something called a commando crawl, which is exactly what it sounds like. She's on her elbows and her belly. And she sort of drags herself from place to place. So she drags herself up the steps and over the bridge and through the tunnel. And as she's doing this, other kids are running by her and literally jumping over her. And she doesn't see anything weird about that, you know? It's not odd to her. She's just doing her thing and having a good time. And in reality, it's pretty miraculous she's here to do any of this. She was born almost four months early via emergency C-section. And she was just over a pound when she first came into the world. And she was stone cold silent. And it was the most terrifying night of my life. And the doctors didn't want to talk about the odds of her survival at first. They said, you know, every kid's, these kids are resilient.

• 18:59Speaker 04

  Every kid's journey is different. So try not to pay attention to what other kids are doing and just focus on your kid. And more than once, it looked like she wasn't going to be coming home at all. And eventually, after five months in intensive care, she did. And amazingly enough, she started preschool in September. And so naturally, my wife and I started thinking about where she would be going to college. And we decided it would be Harvard. And I actually grew up in a town not far from Boston. So recently, we took a trip back east to see some friends and some family and to show Rain her future stomping grounds. And one evening, we said, we're going to go for a walk. And so we put Rain into her gait trainer. And a gait trainer is this assisted walking device where it's got wheels and a bar that

• 19:43Speaker 04

  she holds on to and you strap her into it for additional support. And it basically allows her to practice walking upright without falling over. And when she's in this thing, she stands out from the crowd in it. But, you know, she doesn't care that she stands out. And other kids don't seem to care. A lot of them don't even notice it. But other adults, and I've noticed mostly parents, they notice it when she's in it. And when they see it, they see her cerebral palsy and they see her disability and they see her as different. And they often have this look of pity in their eyes. And as a parent, it drives me nuts that I have the hardest times with it. So we go out into the city and we end up in the north end of the city, which is the oldest part of the city and it's one of the most beautiful parts of the city. And it's got these really charming, narrow streets and it's got this beautiful cobblestone.

• 20:27Speaker 04

  But the cobblestone presents this real challenge for Rain, you know. Her gait frame is getting caught up on it and it's taken us forever to get anywhere. And she's getting really frustrated. And I have this moment where I think, how is she gonna live in this city when she gets older? And how is she possibly gonna be able to go to Harvard? And on top of that, the streets are packed with people. It's a really nice night and I can see people staring at her and they have that familiar look in their eyes and I start to just get really pissed off. And I wanna grab people and I wanna say like, "Do you have any idea who this kid is? Do you know how hard she's fought just to be here? You know, she spent the first two months of her life on a ventilator and she's had five major operations and she's had two infections that literally almost killed her. And that was in the first five months of her life, so please, don't look at this kid

• 21:12Speaker 04

  with pity, cuz she doesn't need it. She's already stronger than all of us." But, you know, truthfully, it hurts to see people looking at your kid like this. We get through the evening and the trip ends and we come back to Los Angeles and I'm still feeling a bit down about how that walk in Boston went. But Rain, you know, she doesn't care about that. She wants to go to that playground. So we go and we get there and she crawls up the steps and she crawls across the bridge and through the tunnel and normally she would turn around and come back to me. And tonight, she decides she's gonna do something different. She sort of looks over her shoulder at me and flashes this little smile and she decides that she's gonna go down the slide by herself for the first time. And not only that, she's gonna go face first.

• 21:55Speaker 04

  And before I can get over there, she goes. And I can tell by the looks on other parents' faces that it has not been a graceful descent, so I go... I go running over there and she's at the foot of the slide and she's just, she's a mess. She's got dirt in her face and wood chips in her hair and, and she's wailing. And I'm like, oh man, but she's wailing with laughter. And she just thinks it's the funniest thing she's ever done. And she looks up at me and she says, "Dad, I toppled over. I'll get back up." And I just start, I'm beaming with pride at this moment. And, and I think back to what the doctor said when she was first born. And I'm thinking, man, this, she is resilient. And, and her journey is her own journey. And our journey together as a

• 22:36Speaker 04

  family, it might not be a typical one, but that's a good thing. And I just need to stop focusing on the looks that people are giving her. And I need to focus on the things that she can achieve. And, and this moment, I, I think about the rest of her life and the life she's gonna lead and the adventures she's gonna have and, and the, and the path she's gonna walk. And at this moment, it, it feels wide open to me. And you know, that path may or may not lead her to Harvard, but if it doesn't, it's not gonna be because some damn cobblestone stops her. Thank you.

• 23:13Speaker 00

  That was Matty Struski, coming to you from Los Angeles. When Matty told that story, he had just received Rain's diagnosis. He said that telling it was therapeutic and helped him confront unprocessed feelings. Matty says, Rain is doing really well these days. She's graduated from her gate trainers and now gets around mostly using a wheelchair or a walker. I asked him if he's told her about Harvard. He said, yes. And she's into the idea of going, so long as it doesn't interfere with her dreams of singing on Broadway, becoming a famous author, or owning a horse farm. And of course, I asked Matty what he learned from Rain. He says, she teaches him that it's okay for things to be hard. It's

• 23:55Speaker 00

  okay to be frustrated. It's even okay to fall flat on your face. Because all of those things happen, whether you have a disability or not. To see photos of Matty and his daughter, Rain, go to themoth.org.

• 24:19Speaker 00

  Diane Harari, our next storyteller, comes to you all the way from Sydney, Australia. This is where hosts typically do a very poor crocodile Dundee impression. I will refrain this time. Dion told this story at a Sydney Story Slam where we partnered with the Australian Broadcasting Corporation, ABC RN. Here's Dion, live at the mall.

• 24:47Speaker 05

  It's September 2014. I'm sitting in a room with about 100 other people and I'm about to do my first ever piano recital. A few months beforehand, I decided to take up piano lessons again. I hadn't actually had a lesson for 30 years, but I've always loved playing piano. I'm not particularly good at playing piano. I'm not terrible at it either. It's just something that I really enjoy because I have to immerse myself in it because I have to try very hard. So it's one of the few times that I'm totally present in the moment and sort of weird things can happen like, you know, I can hear my kids talking to me, but apparently I can't talk and play at the same time. So I just can't possibly answer them until I get to the end bit and stuff. But I decided I was going to take, have some lessons just because I wanted to get better

• 25:32Speaker 05

  at doing some stuff. And years ago, when I'd first had lessons, it was all about scales and practice and it was a really horrible experience. But this time around, I had a young teacher called Tim, who was in his early twenties, and he used to come to my place. And he never once asked me to do a scale and he didn't really care whether I'd practised or not. He was really relaxed and just warmly encouraging. And I felt that Tim kind of got me. We sort of had a thing going on there. So a few months into it, when he said to me, "Look, I'm having a piano recital for my students at the end of the year and I'm just wondering if you'd like to be part of it?" I was like, "Yeah, sure." And he said, "Look, a lot of the students are kind of younger students, but there are some older students there as well." And I said, "Look, that's not a problem. I'd love to do it."

• 26:17Speaker 05

  And sensing that he had a live one there, he said, "Well, would you like to do two pieces?" And I'm like, "Yeah, not a problem." So, I told some of my friends that I was doing this recital and they all said to me, "Wow, you're so brave." Which I'm old enough to know is code for, "Are you completely out of your mind?" But I thought, "Well, what can go wrong?" You know, I've got the music in front of me, I'll practise, it'll be fine. You know, sometimes you've got to put yourself out there and just go for it.

• 26:46Speaker 05

  Unfortunately, the lead-up to the recital was not quite what I'd hoped it would be and things got ridiculously busy at work and I had to travel and I was nowhere near a piano for the three weeks before the recital and it was sort of suboptimal preparation, but I was confident there on the day in September that I could just wing it, it would be fine, adrenaline would kick in and it'll all be good. And so I rock up to the venue and it's this beautiful room in Melbourne University, it's this old building, like, built in 1888 and there's sunshine streaming in and there's kind of these stained glass windows and I'm sitting there and I've got my son Dylan, who was 11 at the time, he's sitting next to me as my wink man. And we kind of watch as everyone comes in and, you know, Tim had said that they were

• 27:30Speaker 05

  going to be younger students, but I sort of figured that they were going to be high school students. Most of them were five or six and I was kind of wedged in between Three Blind Mice and Mary Had A Little Lamb, but that was sort of okay because I figured this would really make me shine.

• 27:50Speaker 05

  Anyhow, so, you know, we get up and all the kids get up and they start doing their pieces and look, I don't want to be mean, but they're a bit ordinary.

• 27:59Speaker 05

  But the audience was full of love, like, they were clapping like nobody's business and it was, it was just, it was fantastic how supportive they were being. And then it was my turn to get up and so I get up there and I start playing and I'm still feeling really good. And I get about five or six bars in and I make this, like, massive error and I just froze. I actually had no idea how to recover from this position. And that was when I noticed that all this light is streaming in and it's flaring off the plastic pockets where my music's in and I can't possibly play in these conditions

• 28:37Speaker 05

  and so I stop and I pull out the music and put it in front and start again like an old person who has no embarrassment gene.

• 28:49Speaker 05

  And I start playing and the whole time my head's just going, you know, don't go too fast, don't go too fast. And so I play so ridiculously slowly that I've totally lost all my timing. And it's just appalling. Like, the whole thing is the worst experience of my entire life. And I cannot wait till it's finally over and I get to the end of the piece. And I'm like, thank God. Until I realised that there was a second one and I had to go through it all again. And I finish it and I'm like, oh God, you know, I just want to get back to my seat. And I've got to be fair, the audience were very warm with their applause. But by now I knew that they were a really unreliable audience because they had clapped little Johnny and Johnny was shit-house, let's be honest.

• 29:31Speaker 05

  And so I get back to my seat and Dill is sitting there and he looks at me full of love and he goes, "Oh Mum, you were great." And for a moment, I really believed him. Until I recognised that he was using exactly the same voice that I use when he or his brother has done something completely lame. And the only thing between them and a shattered ego are the kind words that I've got to say. Now, the worst part of this story is that I actually was so mortified that I stopped playing piano for five years. And it was only a few months ago that I sat down again and I just thought to myself, "What the hell was I thinking? I love playing piano. I've never wanted to perform. I just want to do it for me.

• 30:15Speaker 05

  I just want to do it as the background to what my kids are doing. And it makes me happy and I'm pretty sure the dog enjoys it." That's it. Thank you.

• 30:31Speaker 00

  That was writer and corporate communications expert, Diane Harari. Dionne lives in Melbourne, Australia with her sons Liam and Dylan and their family dog, Nala, who remains steadfastly indifferent to Dionne's piano playing.

• 30:47Speaker 00

  I loved hearing the lesson of Dion's story, that there are things that we will find, lose, and then have an even greater appreciation for when we discover them again.

• 30:59Speaker 00

  The Moth produces hundreds of events each year, and the stories are told by people like you. What are some of the lessons you've learned in your life? We'd love to hear them, and really, any personal story that matters to you. You can record your pitch right on our site, or call 877-799-MOTH. That's 877-799-6684. The best pitches are developed for Moth shows all around the world. In a moment, a story of tragedy, community, and determination, when The Moth Radio Hour continues.

• 31:44Speaker 03

  The Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts.

• 31:53Speaker 00

  You're listening to The Moth Radio Hour. I'm John Good. In this hour, we've been hearing stories where the tellers win some and learn some. Our last story is from a man who dared against all odds to do what no one else would. And I had the honor of hosting the night he told his story. Here's Burnell Cotlon, live at The Moth Main Stage in New Orleans.

• 32:19Speaker 06

  I had a wonderful childhood growing up here in New Orleans, in the Lower Night Ward, maybe about 15 minutes from where we're standing. I know everybody think they had the best parents in the world. So did I. I learned a lot from my mother, as well as from my father. My father was an entrepreneur. He had a barber shop in the Treme area, not too far from here. It was a community hub. Everybody hung out at my barber shop. He supported everybody. One day, my dad was uh cutting uh this drug dealer's head and um another drug dealer walked uh came into the shop, a rival, uh dope dealer, and um he shot the guy that

• 33:03Speaker 06

  was in my dad's chair. And um the guy had died and uh he told, the guy told my dad, "You didn't see nothing, you don't know nothing, and you better not say anything." Then he walked out. Now, my dad could have easily uh looked out the way and said, "I didn't see nothing when the police came." But uh my dad made a sacrifice. He decided to do the right thing and uh he wanted to testify. Uh they offered my dad protective custody. He told him no. So um fast forward, my dad uh was supposed to go and testify at uh court and he stepped out the front um um of his house and um they did a drive-by and they uh killed my dad. Um the day he was supposed to testify.

• 33:47Speaker 06

  That uh that devastated me and my family and my entire community. Um it changed my whole life. Uh I end up joining the military and um uh I became a military police soldier and I did the whole time in Germany of all places, Sprecher, Zick, or Deutsch. I was over there, I was over there long enough to learn the language. Um I did everything that a police officer uh was supposed to do and not supposed to do. I seen a lot of bad things, but it wasn't all bad. I even helped deliver the baby, so that was fun, it was fun. But um something inside of me was still missing and uh I didn't do the whole time. I end up coming back home and I went straight back to the uh Lower Night Ward. Um and it was fun.

• 34:32Speaker 06

  I uh I found a great job. I was a manager at McDonald's. Um I bought my first house. I used my VA home loan to buy the house in the in the Lower Night Ward since about 2001. I thought I was gonna live happily ever after. I had forty-eight wonderful neighbors. Um like I said, it's about 2001 and 2005, everybody know what was coming in 2005. Um I saw it on the news, um I didn't pay no attention to it. Uh the day before Katrina hit New Orleans, I was at work and I gave away all of the food at McDonald's. I gave away everything and um I actually went home and went to sleep. My mom kept calling my phone. She called me a good- Twelve, thirteen times, I ignored all the phone calls.

• 35:17Speaker 06

  But I finally picked it up and my moms, I've never heard my moms sound it like this. Um, I remember exactly what she said. She said, "Son, you was not born for a hurricane, Betsy." So you don't know nothing about a hurricane. You spent your entire adult life in the military in Germany. She said, "Please, please come and evacuate with me." Um, I didn't wanna do it at first. I said, "What about my brother Kevin?" She said, "Kevin is not gonna go, but I want you to come." Uh, thing. So I, I remember grabbing two pairs of pants and a shirt. And I went to grab my moms and what normally would take six hours to go from here to Fort Polk, it took us eighteen hours, cause the whole city was evacuating.

• 35:58Speaker 06

  Um, we end up going to a shelter in, uh, Fort Polk. Once we got there, something I never thought I would see again, they gave me another army cot. So, uh, so, uh, we all went to sleep and we woke up the next morning and it was like about maybe a good sixty-five or seventy of us around. It's one little bitty small TV in the shelter. And we watched the city of New Orleans go underwater. Um, everybody cried. Uh, I stepped away. I went outside and tried to maintain my composure as best I could. Um, FEMA came in and they, they sent everybody everywhere. I ended up going to New York and then they sent me to, uh, San Antonio, Texas.

• 36:38Speaker 06

  I still was missing New Orleans. I knew a lot of police officers, so I was able to go back to New Orleans, cause they wasn't letting anybody in the lower night ward. But I, I was able to go back in there and they snuck me in there. And I went where my house used to be. My house was here on this foundation and Katrina took it completely off its foundation and set it in the middle of the streets. I remember going back to where my bed was. Um, I, I remember I had pictures. I remember where I had a, a TV. Um, I don't have any pictures of my grandparents. I know what they looked like up here, but having it physically, it was, it was all gone. Um. It was this, the smells, it was horrible. To be honest with you, I cry.

• 37:22Speaker 06

  I cry because just losing everything and having to start all over. I don't wish that on anybody. But FEMA gave me a FEMA trailer and I was able to rebuild my personal house. I went from having forty-eight wonderful neighbors, even still today, I have three neighbors. That's even today. I only have three neighbors in the Lower Night Ward about fifteen minutes from here. After I got my personal house together, I drove up and down the Lower Night Ward. I noticed we didn't have anything. The closest grocery store that we have in the Lower Night Ward, it's Walmart in the next city. I called up all the big box stores.

• 38:01Speaker 06

  I called Walmart, I called Winn-Dixie, I called Rousers, and I begged them to come to bring a supermarket to the Lower Night Ward. And I'm embarrassed because it's the first time I've ever heard this. They all told me that they're not coming back because the Lower Night Ward is a food desert. I didn't know what the hell a food desert was. So I called up the US Department of Agriculture and they said that's a lack of grocery store within a three to five mile radius of a certain area. So I said, well, since they're not going to do anything about it, I am. I drove up and down the Lower Night Ward and I came across this building on Caffin in Galvest. And it was a horrible building. It didn't have no roof up there, didn't have no walls. It was bad. Katrina debris was up to this high, the smells. It was horrible.

• 38:46Speaker 06

  So I'm walking all through this here and to everybody else, it was just a raggedy building. To me, I saw people shopping. I saw a grocery store. I immediately ran to my house. I grabbed Keisha, my other half, that's my wife, and I brought her back to the store. And I said, Keisha, I want to open up a grocery store. We don't have any, I want to do something about it. She looked around and she said, yes. I was extremely happy. So I ran to grab my moms. I brought my moms over and I told the exact same thing I just told my wife. My momma said, hell, no.

• 39:20Speaker 06

  But I brought a couple of my friends over, they all told me no. But to me, when someone tell me no, that's not a limitation on me, that's a limitation on them. I decided to do it anyway. So Keisha and I, we work every day, we're scrubbing the walls, we got rid of all the Katrina debris, all the mold, the mildew, was putting up windows, we're just going at it. We worked for about two years straight. Then one day, we showed up, and had this big old orange note on the side of the building, and I grabbed it, and I opened up the note. And it was a code enforcement fine from the city of New Orleans,

• 40:00Speaker 06

  saying they're gonna give me a seventeen thousand dollar fine because the building wasn't in compliance. Needless to say, I was angry, I was, to be honest, I was totally livid, I was pissed off, because I'm trying my best to open up a grocery store. And everywhere else in the city, everybody's partying, everybody's partying, Bourbon Street, I mean, everybody's good to go, but not us in the Lower Nightwood. So I decided to fight. I went to court, and it took us a whole year. And they constantly told us, no, if you don't pay the fine, we're gonna take your building, you don't pay the fine, we're gonna take your building. And I didn't know what to do. At that time, Mitch Landrieu was the mayor. He had an open forum for anybody to come and talk to him. So it was standing this long, long, long line, I was in the back of the line,

• 40:45Speaker 06

  and they had people up there complaining about all kinds of stupid things. One lady was complaining, they had too many Katrina mosquitoes in the air, and all kinds of... So I was angry, I said, I got a real problem. So by the time I got up to the microphone, I didn't know what the mayor was gonna tell me, I didn't know if he was gonna tell me to shut up, or go home, or get out, or whatever. But I told the mayor, I said, sir, my name is Burnell Cotlon, and I wanna open up the first and only grocery store in the Lower Nightwood. The whole crowd went wild, they cheered me on, everybody was happy. But I said, but wait, there's more. I went in my front pocket, and I pulled out the fine, I said, sir, I can't go any further, because you slapped me with a seventeen thousand dollar fine.

• 41:29Speaker 06

  How can I finish living out my dream of opening up the first grocery store and have to pay this fine? They booed him bad. I felt, I felt bad for him. So the mayor called me up to him and he said, "Burnell, look, give me a chance. I promise you, I promise you, I will take care of you." So he held his hand out, held my hand, and I said, "Sir, please don't let this be a political promise, please, mean this here." He said, "Trust me, I will." So I went back to work. I checked that same spot every day for two weeks, nothing. But it finally came in the mail. Mayor Mitch Landry honored his promise. And when I opened that letter and it read, "All the fines was forgiven," it was like,

• 42:12Speaker 06

  "Mardi Gras, my birthday and Christmas all at the same time." I was so happy.

• 42:20Speaker 06

  So we, um, fast forward, I'd say about three, maybe another four years before we finally was able to open up. I had invited them over, we had the ribbon cutting ceremony. It was a beautiful day. We had birds chirping, the sun was out, rainbows. It was a picture-perfect day. Everybody showed up. I was blown away, it just touched my heart. There had this one particular lady though, at my grand opening, that really blew my mind, it was an elderly lady, Miss Williamson. She came in and she had a chair, she sat down right by my front counter. And she was there for like about three hours. So I went over to her, I said, "Ma'am, why are you here? You okay?" And she had tears in her eyes.

• 43:03Speaker 06

  She said, "I've been here, young man, since right after Katrina." And she said she never thought that we'd have a grocery store in the Lower Nightboard. And she asked, "We're not gonna kick you out?" I said, "No, no, you're fine." So she stayed there. And she was extremely happy, she was extremely happy. We used to do this here four days a week, the demand is so high. I'm at my store seven days a week, 'cause there's nothing else back there but what we're doing. We also opened up several other businesses in that same strip. Believe it or not, I now have a barber shop. So I'm hoping...

• 43:40Speaker 06

  Well, thank you. I have a grocery store, a snowball stand, the barber shop, and a laundromat, all in this one building. So now people don't have to catch three, I'm gonna say it again, three city buses. They can walk to my building just to get some fresh fruit and veggie doubles. So wherever you are from, trust me when I say this, appreciate and value everything. Because to go from forty-eight neighbors down to three, it's bad, and that's still today. Like I said, you don't believe me, come to the Lower Ninth Ward. Because it's a totally different world, and that's like about fifteen minutes from here.

• 44:22Speaker 06

  You know, so this taught me a lot of very, very important lessons. To don't take nothing for granted, appreciate and value everything that you have. Because having to lose everything, I don't wish that on anybody. And I also found out what my purpose is. My purpose is service, and that's why I was able to easily go from serving our country to serving my community. And I did it with no problem. Because like I said, I'm hoping that you all can find your purpose in life, because I found mine, and it's wonderful. And I'm enjoying this here. And I want to tell everybody, thank you all for giving me a chance to tell my story, and thank you for listening.

• 45:12Speaker 00

  Burnell Cotlon is a US veteran, a lifelong New Orleanian, and the owner of Burnell's Lower Ninth Ward Market on the corner of Caffin and Galvez in New Orleans. Visit the market for a po'boy, a haircut, a game of chess, or to just say hello. I had the pleasure of talking to Burnell recently to see how he's doing. In 2005, Katrina devastated New Orleans, and sixteen years later, within days of when Katrina hit, Ida hit. So what thoughts and emotions were you dealing with, knowing another huge storm was coming?

• 45:46Speaker 07

  That immediately brought me back and of, of, of course, um, everybody went back to the same mindset of Katrina.

• 45:54Speaker 00

  So how, how did you and your family and your friends, your community and your store? How did you, how did you weather the storm?

• 46:03Speaker 07

  It was, it was extremely hard. It was extremely hard because when the power went out and you could see all the wind and the rain, um, you could, the trees was going knocking down, trash and debris was going everywhere. That was horrible. That was horrible. I don't, I don't wish that on anybody.

• 46:21Speaker 00

  So through Katrina and Ida, what have you learned about community, your community?

• 46:28Speaker 07

  People at the Lower Night Ward are resilient. They came back after Hurricane Katrina and said, hey, this is my home. I am going to rebuild. You have to stand strong. You can't let nothing slow you down or, or, or stop you. Um, that's my motto. No, no matter what, I have to be here for my community.

• 46:51Speaker 00

  Is your grocery store slash barber shop slash laundromat, is that still the only one in the Lower Night?

• 46:58Speaker 07

  Yes, I'm still the only business in the Lower Night Ward since 2005.

• 47:04Speaker 00

  What would you like to see happen as far as development in the Lower Night and, and how can people help you?

• 47:10Speaker 07

  First, that's, that's a beautiful question. I'm glad that you asked that question. I would love to see my hometown simple, simply catch up with the rest of the city. You, you should not have to catch three city buses to get to the closest grocery store. And as far as anybody that would like to, to help, whether it's, it's, you know, uh, one of the big box stores on down to a, a, a person with a big heart. Um, I'm easy to work with. If, if you want to come down and, and grab a shovel and a hammer and, and help me put the second floor up, please come on down. If you want to donate, please come on down. If you want to send, uh, goods to put on the shelves, because there's nowhere else for people to go.

• 47:53Speaker 00

  Thank you so much, man, for coming on, for doing this, for just sharing your story, man. It has been an inspiration since the first time I heard it.

• 48:02Speaker 00

  That was Burnell Cotlon. To see photos of Burnell and his incredible store, go to themoth.org.

• 48:09Speaker 00

  Well, we've all learned a few things in this hour. I learned, I must do the things I love, even if only the dog and I appreciate them. That I will fall down, but I must get up and tackle life my own way. And last but not least, I learned that I am indeed the one I've been waiting for. What did you learn today? Tell us a story about it. That's it for this episode of The Moth Radio Hour. We hope you'll join us next time.

• 48:49Speaker 03

  This episode of The Moth Radio Hour was produced by me, Jay Allison, Catherine Burns, Sarah Austin Jenness, who also directed the stories, and John Good, who hosted the show. Co-producer is Vicky Merrick, associate producer Emily Couch. The rest of The Moth's leadership team includes Sarah Haberman, Jennifer Hickson, Meg Bowles, Kate Tellers, Jennifer Birmingham, Marina Kluch, Suzanne Russ, Brandon Grant, Inga Glodowski, Sarah Jane Johnson, and Aldi Casa. Moth Stories Are True is remembered and affirmed by the storytellers. Our theme music is by The Drift. Other music in this hour is from Epidemic Sound. Podcast music, production support from Davey Sumner.

• 49:32Speaker 03

  We receive funding from the National Endowment for the Arts. The Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts. Special thanks to our friends at Odyssey, including executive producer Leah Reese Dennis. For more about our podcast, for information on pitching us your own story, and everything else, go to our website, themoth.org.