Pod Insights The Moth Soccer Stories with Tierna Davidson: The Moth Podcast About this episode To celebrate the start of the World Cup, we've got a very special episode hosted by Tierna Davidson - a soccer player for the US Women’s National Team and Gotham FC, and a World Cup winner and Olympic gold medalist.
We’re sharing three stories about soccer, but about everything around soccer, too – the competition, the sense of community, the feeling of discovery you get when you push yourself.
Storytellers:
As an effeminate queer kid, Patrick McGraw learned to associate sports with the bullies at school. As an adult, Patrick decided to join an inclusive soccer league and reclaim his love of sports.
Moniek van Rheenen is taught by her soccer coach to be a mean player, and learns a valuable lesson when the coach leaves the team.
Franco Catalano's excitement grows as Argentina advances through the World Cup.
Podcast # 983
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1:04 Speaker 01 Hi there, and welcome to The Moth. I'm Tierna Davidson. I'm a soccer player for the U.S. Women's National Team and Gotham FC. I'm a World Cup winner and Olympic gold medalist. And today, I'm hosting this episode of The Moth Podcast. And I'm actually hosting from our national team training camp. So if you hear any shouts or whistles in the background, that's why. With the Men's World Cup in full swing, we wanted to celebrate the shared excitement, the feeling that so many people are invested in one long cross, one sliding tackle, one bicycle kick. That's actually one of my favorite parts about soccer, that it's so global. Whether it's through your club team or playing in international tournaments, you gain so many people in your corner from all over the world.
1:48 Speaker 01 And when you have a World Cup, you get that really intense national rivalry, but you also get this passionate feeling of solidarity, because a World Cup only happens once every four years. As a fan, you wait and anticipate it for what feels like forever. And as a player, you prepare for it for so long, so you get that camaraderie and shared experience across teams. So to celebrate this special moment, we're sharing three stories about soccer, but about everything around soccer too. The competition, the sense of community, and the feeling of discovery you get when you push yourself. Our first storyteller is Patrick McGraw, who told this at a Twin Cities Story Slam where the theme was pride. Just as a note, in the story, Patrick quotes a homophobic slur that was directed at him.
2:33 Speaker 01 Here's Patrick, live at the mall.
2:41 Speaker 02 My relationship with sports is a fairly typical one for an effeminate kid growing up in the 70s and 80s. Short story: I grew to hate them. And being a painfully shy kid didn't make things easier. The first time I was called a fagot was in 5th grade. It was because of how I walk and talk, so gender policing at its finest. When I went to junior high, I almost instantly stopped eating in the cafeteria because it was just easier for me to eat alone by my locker than navigate so many people. But my locker in 7th grade was just down the hall from the gym. And the 10th grade boys, their gym class ended during my lunch period.
3:23 Speaker 02 They had to wait in this long hallway of the locker room behind the door until the bell rang. But one day, a few of them crossed the threshold. They grabbed a fire extinguisher and started spraying me with it, calling me a fagot. To me, these were the people who played sports, so why would I want to play sports with them? So I quit tennis, I stopped golfing, football was a non-starter. Later, when I came out, sports would creep back into my life: running in my 20s, hiking in my 30s, but these were things I could do on my own. Team sports, they didn't re-enter my horizon until I moved to Portland in my 40s. The cafe I used to go to to read played all the European soccer matches.
4:08 Speaker 02 And after months of sitting amongst the fans as they watched their favorite teams, I got addicted. And then the strangest feeling: I wanted to play. So I bought a soccer ball. Instinctively, I made soccer a solo sport.
4:31 Speaker 02 I used to go down to the garage of my building early in the morning when no one could see me to kick the ball around. So at this point, I'm still shy, hardly butch, and incredibly insecure. And now to boot, I discover I have no coordination, and I flinch.
4:49 Speaker 02 Even just kicking the ball against the wall, so my own kick. As it came back to me,
4:56 Speaker 02 I flinched.
5:01 Speaker 02 Meanwhile, I had started going to the Portland Timber's soccer matches. And during one game, after a spectacular goal, I turned to the stranger next to me to give him a high five.
5:12 Speaker 02 I had never initiated a high five in my life.
5:19 Speaker 02 I took that as a sign that I was ready to join a team.
5:24 Speaker 02 So I set about to find a club that would welcome me as I am, a middle-aged man, overweight, who's never played soccer and flinches when the ball comes towards him.
5:37 Speaker 02 So I decided on the Net Reps, an inclusive soccer club, because, one, they were unlikely to call me a faggot. And, two, their website said that they welcomed everyone of all abilities. So I secretly scouted them out first, casually riding my bike past one of their practices.
5:58 Speaker 02 Men and women of all ages were playing, but they all looked too good. So I emailed the team, asking if they really welcomed everyone, even beginners who'd never played. Instantly, I got messages back to reassure me that they did. So with butterflies in my stomach, I went to my first practice. One of the players, hearing that I had never played before, took me aside to show me some of the very basics before we joined everyone else in the drills. And then the second half was a scrimmage, my first time playing a game. They put me in as defender, the big guy who probably can't run.
6:39 Speaker 02 I wanted to yell, "Didn't they tell you I flinch?" But they discovered that on their own pretty quick.
6:49 Speaker 02 And I whiffed, "How do you miss a soccer ball?" And half the time, it was stationary.
6:56 Speaker 02 And I got winded, just running onto the pitch.
7:02 Speaker 02 But I also took a ball to the chest, blocking a cross shot. And I sent a forward flying to the ground, just by leaning slightly.
7:15 Speaker 02 That was advice from my fellow defender. He said, "You're a big guy. They're gonna bounce right off you."
7:24 Speaker 02 And they did.
7:26 Speaker 02 After practice, I thanked the captain and said my goodbyes. And to me, he said, "Great job today. We'll see you next week."
7:36 Speaker 02 He was talking to me. I was so ecstatic as I biked away, already looking forward to next week's practice. Only later did it dawn on me, this was an experience I deserved decades earlier. Thank you.
7:58 Speaker 01 That was Patrick McGraw. Patrick is a writer and editor, living back in Minnesota, where he grew up. Patrick is a former Wild Goose chase clogger. If you're wondering, that's Appalachian-style dancer, and a current birder. What stood out in Patrick's story is how starkly different the experience of queerness and community is across women's and men's sports. Women's sports have historically functioned as one of the safest harbors for queer people. And that's held true in women's soccer specifically. It's something I've lived. Soccer is where I found my people, where I felt genuinely welcomed, and ultimately, where I met my wife. So when I hear stories like Patrick's, they resonate in a real way. It's been a space where people can explore their identity and show up as themselves,
8:43 Speaker 01 whether they're competing at the highest level or just playing in a Sunday rec league. There's something almost organic about that. Soccer is a sport built on freedom, on creativity and self-expression, and the license to develop your own identity within the game. The culture and the sport reinforce each other in a way that feels rare. Our next story is from Monique Van Rynen, who told this at an Ann Arbor Story Slam where the theme was "Go Team." Here's Monique, live at the mall.
9:13 Speaker 03 My first love was soccer. I did not really have a chance to love anything else because my dad came to the US from the Netherlands to play soccer. And so it was in my blood. And I was really excited when I made varsity my freshman year in high school.
9:30 Speaker 03 I worked my ass off. Because I wasn't the biggest, I wasn't the strongest, but I was the fastest and I had a killer left foot. And so I was really excited. First couple of games, I got off the bench, I got onto the field and I played. And started a couple of games when we played some of the weaker teams and had a really solid start. So my sophomore year, my goal was that I was going to be starting on that field every single game. I did all the summer workouts, went through the tryouts, breezed through it, and we get into the season.
10:05 Speaker 03 I was fast, I had good foot skills. I was by far the smallest girl on the field. And so I wasn't quite the toughest. And oftentimes, if it was a bigger girl that was marked up against me, she could push past and I'd lose the ball.
10:23 Speaker 03 My coach was kind of tough and she didn't like that I was getting knocked around. And so she told me, "Mo, you've got to get mean. You've got to knock them around back." And I thought, "I don't know how to do this when girls are twice my size, but sure, okay."
10:39 Speaker 03 And she threatened me. She said, "I'll bench you if you don't foul a girl in the first five minutes. I'm pulling you out."
10:48 Speaker 03 I'm not someone who would go in for... Sure, I've thrown a couple elbows, who hasn't? You pull a shirt every once in a while. You know, you slide a little late. But I wasn't going in there to go take other people out. That wasn't really how I played. And some of the other girls were just kind of scary. Usually I was afraid that if I hit someone, they'd hit harder. But I got nervous because my coach was true to her word, that if I didn't hit someone and get a whistle, I saw my sub on the center line and I thought, "Well, shit, now I have to sit the rest of the game." And the thing I hated most was sitting. And so I tried really hard. I would sit there anxious if I didn't get a chance to throw like a subtle foul in the first five minutes.
11:33 Speaker 03 And I'd see my subs start winding up, so I'd just go over and shove a girl.
11:38 Speaker 03 Because I wanted to stay in.
11:41 Speaker 03 And my nickname went from Mo to Mellow Yellow because I got a lot of yellow cards doing that.
11:48 Speaker 03 And it got to the point where my dad pulled me aside, and he was never my coach, but he had such a love and eye for the game, and he said, "What the fuck are you doing?"
11:58 Speaker 03 I said, "Dad, I just want to play. That's all I want to do. And if I got to foul a girl, I'm staying on the field." Well, it got to the point where that wasn't enough, and I got benched anyway. And I was really frustrated. So I was especially excited when word came out that our coach was transferring to another school because she thought our team, quote, "wasn't going anywhere."
12:19 Speaker 03 Caused a lot of drama. So it was especially exciting when we made it to the semifinals of the state tournament, and we were playing her team.
12:29 Speaker 03 It was a really scrappy game because she taught all of her girls to play mean. They're sitting there, they're kicking at shins, they're pulling shirts, there are girls that are getting kicked out of the game left and right, and for my team too, because we'd also been trained to be mean. And so it's down to the final moments of the game, we've got probably 15 minutes left, and it's tight. It's tied. Tensions are high, nerves are high. And I get the ball, and I know that this girl that is at least twice my size, and has been knocking me around all game, that if I get one touch past her, I'm gone. And so I get the ball, do a little fancy footwork, and I lose her. And I'm booking it down the field, I'm cutting in towards center, I know I can go for goal,
13:11 Speaker 03 I'm bypassing the forward who's calling for the ball, because this is my moment. And I get taken out from behind by this damn girl who's chasing me, right in the middle of the penalty box.
13:23 Speaker 03 I don't like penalty kicks because that's a lot of pressure. And it's a lot of pressure when it's down to the wire in the semifinal game and it's that bitch of a coach who's been benching you all season.
13:34 Speaker 03 So I go up there, my heart's beating a mile a minute. I set the ball down on the marker. And I'm watching the keeper and she's jumping around on the line. I can hear people yelling. I see my dad in the bleachers and I know if I miss a penalty kick, it's gonna, it's gonna be bad at home. It's gonna be bad with my team too, but I go up there and I see that coach and I see that damn smirk on her face. And I can think of her just telling me, "You're not mean. You're not mean enough. You're not mean enough to play." And I took that ball, I ran back and I buried that ball so far into that corner of that goal.
14:19 Speaker 03 And then we lost the game.
14:22 Speaker 03 Because they got the ball back and they scored. So that was disappointing, but afterwards, it didn't matter to me because that ball was in the back of that net.
14:32 Speaker 03 And because I was sportsmanlike and I wasn't mean, and we went up and we shook hands with everyone afterwards. And I went up to that coach and I shook her hand. And she goes, "Mo, that was an okay game."
14:48 Speaker 03 And after that, we did go on to win the state championship the next year, so that was good. But I never played mean, but I always played to win. Thanks.
15:02 Speaker 01 That was Monique Ben Raynan. Monique is a PhD candidate studying anthropology at the University of Michigan. She played soccer competitively for 20 years before trading her cleats in for running shoes. Monique comes from a long line of Dutch footballers and roots for the orange during the World Cup. What resonated in Monique's story was that tension between embracing who you are as a player and deliberately expanding your game. At the elite level, you're surrounded by exceptional talent, but there's a pull to match everyone in every facet. But eventually, you recognize that the player who dominates in one area is usually making trade-offs somewhere else. The real question then becomes, how do you lean into what makes you special while adding enough to complement it?
15:46 Speaker 01 With a lot of the elite athletes that I come across, there is this insatiable desire to be excellent. For example, my U.S. and Gotham teammate Emily Sonnet and I always talk about how, as defenders, we are so passionate about passing the ball to attackers. And that is truly my passion. I love feeding the ball to the machines. Let me give the ball to Megan Rapinoe, let me give the ball to Rose Lavelle, let me give the ball to Sophia Smith. I desperately want them with the ball at their feet because I know something great will come of it. Developing that part of my game took years. Growing up, I played slightly further up the field as a defensive midfielder, or a six in soccer terms. My club coach was Spanish, and he ran real film sessions with us.
16:29 Speaker 01 We had a dad on our team who would tape our games on a camcorder, and we'd sit down, watch, and do homework on ourselves. Our coach showed us a lot of Barcelona, so we were growing up studying the likes of Sergio Busquets, Andres Iniesta, Carlos Pio. You start to internalize things: reading space, checking your shoulder, the weight of a pass, first and second touches, the details. And that's part of what makes soccer so compelling: the small things, the quiet work, and how far it can carry you. Maybe all the way to a World Cup. After the break, a story about getting excited for the World Cup, from the perspective of a fan. Back in a moment.
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19:14 Speaker 01 Welcome back. Our final story is about the World Cup itself. It's from Franco Catalano, who told this story at a Milwaukee Story Slam, where the theme was vices. Here's Franco, live at the Moth.
19:28 Speaker 06 In Argentina, soccer is a religion. When the match plays, no one really speaks, aside from the broadcaster, as mass has just begun. It doesn't understand logic, and we are very superstitious about it. We sit in the same spot in the couch, wearing the same clothes we used last time the national team won, as lucky charms, just so we don't jinx it. But not me. Don't get me wrong, I love the sport, but I hate the feeling of excitement that comes with it, especially during the World Cup, where, for one month, my dear hometown of
20:12 Speaker 06 Buenos Aires falls victim to the opium of the masses that is soccer. But this World Cup 2022, it's different for me, because it's the first time I will not watch it in Buenos Aires, but actually, in the city of Chicago. And I cannot be happier, because I will not be a victim of the excitement, because, let's be honest, you don't give a fudge about soccer. So the first match of Argentina in the group stage is against Saudi Arabia, on November 22, 2022. Surprisingly, Argentina loses that match, and I get to know this in the newspaper, because I was sleeping while the match was going on, because, I mean, it was 5:00 AM in the morning.
20:55 Speaker 06 What I am supposed to say to my boss, if I watch the match and they go to work, looking like that, like, "Oh, sorry, I look like rap. I got the fever, the World Cup fever." I mean, I'm really glad that I'm not in Argentina right now, because a loss like this makes everybody go moody, or crazy, or crazy moody.
21:18 Speaker 06 Case in point. I talk to a friend and I tell him I didn't watch the match. First thing he tells me: "Oh, then that's why we lost." "Because you didn't watch the match." "Don't you ever think about not watching another Argentina match during the World Cup." He's one of five different persons that give me the same speech, which makes me think: "Hold on, what is this crazy moon talk? Are you implying that Messi plays like crap because somehow he knows I'm not watching him play?" But I still love the sport, so during the next two matches against Mexico and Poland, as they occur in a normal hour, I watch them.
22:01 Speaker 06 And even though a loss means that Argentina is get kicked out of the World Cup, the fact that nobody is reminding me that between matches in a nervous manner or shouting at the TV while the match is on makes me enjoy them. And Argentina actually wins both matches and they go to the knockout stages where we play against Australia and the Netherlands in the round of 16 and quarterfinals. I plan to watch the matches with my wife. Nothing can break the calmness, but something feels different. An example of that and something that proves it is the fact that Argentina scores an own goal against Australia, putting the match 2-1 in Argentina's favor.
22:42 Speaker 06 And I watch, I look at my wife and I tell her, without thinking too much, "Honey, you were in the kitchen when Argentina scored twice, right? Is it too much to ask if you go back to the kitchen and you watch the rest of the match from there?" And as she answers me with a dirty look, I tell her, "Oh, sorry, I don't know where that came from." Argentina wins both matches in nail-biting moments, and during those moments, I am a mess. Strong emotions overwhelm me. I am sitting in the edge of the sofa, about to cry, shouting at the TV, "Why can't we have nice things without having to suffer for our them?"
23:28 Speaker 06 My wife cries with me, not because of the match, but because she thinks I'm about to have a stroke at any moment during those matches. So when my colleagues from work, my American colleagues from work, invite me to have a watch-along party in my honor for the semifinal against Croatia, I accept because the pressure of being in a social environment with my coworkers make me think that I will not fall to my emotions, which is correct for the first goal. Because for the second one, I shout in a low voice, I don't know how that exists, but it appears, while clenching my fist. And by the third Argentinian goal, I just shout and scream, "Wooo!" While my colleagues laugh at me and celebrate with me.
24:13 Speaker 06 The final is on a Sunday, while I'm here in Milwaukee. And the first thing I think when I notice this is, I watch all the matches in Chicago. If Argentina loses, I'm going to blame myself for the rest of my life. I have to be honest, I have got the World Cup fever, finally. So I ask a friend that lives in the city, what are his plans? He tells me he is going to watch the match with our first and second generation American Argentinians in a sports bar. I go there, and when I get there, what I see is unbelievable. Everyone has Argentinian flags, Argentinian t-shirts. Everyone is drinking Mare, our national drink. And it hits me, I miss this.
24:56 Speaker 06 It's true that I hate some of our national traits, like making everything about life or death, a matter of life or death. But it is part of who I am, my identity. And instead of thinking about the things that I hate about my country, I should shift focus and think about the comforting facts around it, like that we are passionate about everything. So I get to watch the final with them. And as I leave that sports bar after the match, I understand two things. In first place, that no matter how much I deny it, my culture will come back to me. And the best thing I can do is represent it the best way I can. And in second place, France. Thank you.
25:49 Speaker 01 That was Franco Catalano. Franco is an Argentine storyteller, writer and performer based in Buenos Aires. He hosts La Mosca, a live storytelling show, and creates intimate, funny, emotionally honest stories about love, nostalgia, and the strange ways we become ourselves. Franco's story got me thinking about some of my fondest memories growing up. The World Cup in all these different time zones, and my brother and I waking up to soccer and just watching all morning. Men's World Cups, Women's World Cups, soccer was constantly on in our family room during those coveted summers. Then we'd reenact what we'd watched in the backyard, or go to our club practices and play the World Cup game.
26:32 Speaker 01 Two players for a team, and it's every team against each other. Pure chaos. I loved that in the summertime. I'd be wearing my little cotton Mia Hamm shirt into the ground, washed a hundred times, stickers baked into the fabric, mystery stains that had long since become part of the design. That shirt was basically a second skin, and I was not taking it off for anyone. And that's what sports do. They create core memories. When I was a kid, I'd go to Stanford games and stand shyly at the fence to wait for autographs from players like Kelly O'Hara and Kristen Press. Then I became the player at Stanford signing girls' shirts and posters. Then I was lining up alongside those same players I'd looked up to on the national team.
27:17 Speaker 01 There's something surreal about morphing into your own role model, but it's an honor and I don't take it lightly. Getting to hear how my teammates and I have touched people's lives, stories that find their way back to us, that never gets old. I'll leave you with this. In 2015, I was watching the World Cup final from home, when Carli Lloyd had her hat-trick and the US won. A friend of mine called and left me voicemails narrating every big moment in real time. Four years later, I'm in Paris. My coach pulls me aside before my first World Cup start against Chile and says, "This is just another 90 minutes of soccer. How many times have you played 90 minutes of soccer? You hold on to that. You tell yourself there's nothing new here.
27:59 Speaker 01 And then you walk out for the anthem and you're standing in Parc de Prince next to Ali Krieger and Kristen Press and all of that goes out the window." I ended up with two assists that game, both to players my friends and I had watched so closely in that 2015 final. To be part of that history on that stage and then to be celebrating on the field like a giddy kid, I'll never forget it. That brings us to the end of our episode. Thanks so much for joining us. We hope that you have a wonderful, goal-filled week.
28:30 Speaker 07 Tierna Davidson is the captain of Gotham FC and a World Cup winner and Olympic gold medalist with the US Women's National Team. A special thanks to Jeff Greer of Gotham FC and Matt Buckman of the Women's National Team for all their help in putting this episode together. This episode of The Moth Podcast was produced by Sarah Austin Jenness, Sarah Jane Johnson, and me, Mark Sollinger. The rest of The Moth's leadership team includes Gina Duncan, Christina Norman, Marina Kluchay, Jennifer Hickson, Jordan Cardenale, Caledonia Cairns, Kate Tellers, Suzanne Rust, and Patricia Uranya. The Moth Podcast is presented by Odyssey. Special thanks to their executive producer, Leah Reese Dennis. All Moth stories are true, as remembered by their storytellers.
29:15 Speaker 07 For more about our podcast, information on pitching your own story, and everything else, go to our website, themoth.org.
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