Moth StorySLAM 25th Anniversary Highlights: The Moth Radio Hour

This week, a special episode celebrating 25 years of The Moth StorySLAMs—our open-mic storytelling competition that welcomes anyone with a five-minute story to share on the night’s theme. In this hour, stories from six champions from across the globe. Hosted by Moth Senior Director Jenifer Hixson. The Moth Radio Hour is produced by The Moth and Jay Allison of Atlantic Public Media. Storytellers: Sally Wheatley nervously watches her son and husband on a jetski. Andrea Cope sets out to fulfill her husband’s playful dying wish. Devariest Curry grapples with what having nine siblings might mean for her future. Teenager Errol McClendon attends two very different funerals for his father. Wilson Seely takes a trip to Korea to meet his birth mother Sufian Zhemukov takes a test to become a U. S. citizen. Podcast # 1010

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 2:16Speaker 01

  This is The Moth Radio Hour. I'm your host, Jennifer Hixson. We're celebrating 25 years of our Story Slam community, a space where truly anyone can take the mic. In this hour, stories from some of our champions from around the world. To begin, I'm going to take you back to the very first Story Slam.

• 2:37Speaker 01

  It's February 2001. Dixon Place, New York City. A brand-new experiment is launched from The Moth, which had already been presenting curated, directed shows since 1997. But on this night, for the first time, an open mic. We'd have no idea what was coming to the stage. It was a little scary, but like most scary things, exciting.

• 3:02Speaker 01

  There were a few rules. Had to be a true story, about five minutes long with a grace period, and on theme. The night was well-attended, but, okay, a little weird. Open-mic storytelling had not been defined. People didn't know what to expect or really how to prepare. But New York City showed up in all its experimental glory and flexed some interesting muscles. One person was dressed as a bat, another had handcuffs. Not sure why, I didn't ask. A winner was crowned, chosen by three teams of judges.

• 3:38Speaker 01

  Roughly a year later, that winner joined nine other winners, and our first Grand Slam championship was born. The Grand Slam is a competition, but I like to think of it as a showcase of winners. They are typically held in a larger venue with a bigger audience. Storytellers receive a coaching call or two from someone at Moth headquarters. Friends and family and coworkers show up to support, and there's a buzz in the air.

• 4:07Speaker 01

  It's been 25 years of laughter and nerves, heartache and hope, and all the feelings. Thousands of people have shared profound and sometimes profane episodes of their inner and outer lives, all in five-minute segments.

• 4:23Speaker 01

  We're about to put you in the room as we introduce our first Grand Slam storyteller with host Sarah Barron. And a bit of backstory, Sarah was an up-and-coming comic hosting our New York City Story Slam when a handsome man in the audience who was visiting from London adored her energy and asked her out. She now lives in London with that gentleman and a kid, too. These are the sorts of love stories and connections that happen wherever and whenever stories are shared. So here's New York City's transplant, Sarah Barron, doing the opening spiel at the London Grand Slam. She'll guide you right to our first storyteller.

• 5:00Speaker 02

  Hi, I hope you're all well. My name is Sarah. I'm going to be your host for this evening. And welcome to our May Moth Grand Slam at the South Bank Center. By way of introduction, can I ask how many of you have attended a Moth event before?

• 5:16Speaker 02

  Great. How many of you, for this, it's your first time?

• 5:21Speaker 02

  Nice. Welcome to the fold. So listen, for those of you who have been before, a little refresh your course. And for those who are attending for the first time, an explanation. You have landed yourself in the epicenter of competitive, themed storytelling here in London town. Our theme for this evening is "Great Escape." So you're going to hear stories this evening that all have a theme of a dodged bullet, maybe a missed opportunity that turned into a better opportunity. In short, a great escape. At a Grand Slam, what you are seeing is, across the previous calendar year, we have monthly Story Slams where anyone can come. Their name gets called, they come up on stage, they tell the story. And at the end of the evening, a winner is declared.

• 6:05Speaker 02

  So you should be seeing some very good stuff this evening. We have three different judging teams in this evening. They're going to be judging on the following pieces of criteria. We want a story, first and foremost, that is very much about the theme. So what we don't want to hear is we don't want a story that's sort of like, not about a great escape, and then at the end they're like, "And that's how I escaped, not that." But rather something that feels very organically woven in, or rather has the theme very much at the center in a real way. We want a good story. We want to laugh, we can cry. Sorry. Is this a mostly British audience? Are you British? Give me a whoop.

• 6:46Speaker 02

  Okay, so I respect your inability to experience emotion in a normal way. So I know you don't want to outwardly cry, but you know what I mean. You want to be moved somehow, right? Beginning, middle, end, take us on a sorry to use this word, journey. A good story. So while we're sat back and just enjoying everything, the teams of judges, they'll be thinking, they'll be deliberating, they'll be compiling their scores. And then at the very end of the evening, we'll get the scores, we'll get a winner, yay. And the whole magic of The Moth and the reason it's amazing is it puts a microphone in front of people who don't necessarily, and in fact, mostly, do not stand on stage in front of a microphone most nights. It's really scary. They're so wonderful.

• 7:29Speaker 02

  And so I need from you a really, what I'm going to describe as American level of applause and support. Do you understand? Okay. All right, are you guys ready for your next storyteller? Okay. Then raise the applause, raise the applause. And join me in welcoming to the stage Sally Wheatley.

• 7:55Speaker 03

  Hello. It's 1997, and my son Tom is seven years old. He's a very happy little boy. He has round, multicolored framed glasses. He's got quite a thin, spindly little frame. And he has dyspraxia, which is basically, if you haven't come across it, it's a difficulty with balance and motor skills. But Tom is fearless. Now, this is the opposite to me. I have always been, "What if?", as in, "What if I miss the school bus and can never find my way home?" Or, "What if I ski down a mountain, fall off the mountain, and kill myself?"

• 8:38Speaker 03

  In other words, "What if something terrible happens?" So, as I say, it's 1997, and as a family, we're on a holiday in Portugal. And for the first time, Tom sees a jet ski zooming across the bay. And he thinks, "I must have a go on this." And my husband thinks, "Yes, great idea, Tom." And I'm thinking, "But Mike, what if? I mean, really?" And Mike says, "It's going to be fine, Sal." And off we go to the jet ski center. And I'm even more what if, because at the jet ski center, there's a chap who says, "Um, yeah, it's very important that you don't fall off a jet ski,

• 9:23Speaker 03

  because the impact can be pretty much the same as falling off a motorbike onto tarmac." And, "No, we don't have life jackets." And I'm like, "Really, Mike? I mean, honestly?" And my husband says, "Sal, it's fine, no worries." And that Tom will sit behind him on the jet ski, and off they go. And my heart goes with them. But the rest of me thinks, "I'll just go and lie down on the beach and have a little relax." And I lie down on the beach, and then after a few minutes, I just think, "I'll just see if they're okay." And I sit up and look, and they're quite far out.

• 10:06Speaker 03

  But it's easy to see them, because even though Mike's in his 30s, he's got silver-gray hair. And, to be honest with you, they're the only jet ski in the bay.

• 10:17Speaker 03

  So I can relax, and I sit back down again. And then I just think, "I'll just check on them one more time." And I sit up and I look, and I can see Mike's silver-gray hair shining in the sunshine. But where's Tom? There's no Tom. Tom has obviously fallen off the back of the jet ski, and Mike hasn't realized. And at this point, I start running up and down the beach, and I start flapping my arms like I'm some sort of demented seagull. And then I start shouting like a child in a pantomime, "Look behind you, look behind you." But he can't hear me.

• 11:01Speaker 03

  However, everyone else on the beach can. And as soon as I say, "My child's just fallen off the back of that jet ski," people start getting up, and then they start shouting. And soon I've got quite a crowd, or I should say, quite a flock of other people doing the demented seagull dance. And then one chap gets a towel and he starts twirling it around his head. And another man says, "I'll go and get help." And soon, pretty much, everyone in this small bay has crowded around me and is shouting out towards Mike. And, oh, the kindness of people. Because although he can't hear us, Mike has obviously seen the commotion on the beach,

• 11:45Speaker 03

  and he's turned the jet ski, and he's coming in towards the sand. And I just say, "Thank you, everybody. You have been amazing. Thank you so much." And then I look, and I see, and I think you've probably guessed, it's not Mike. It's just a gray-haired man on a jet ski. And I have to turn around to this crowd and say, "I am so sorry, everybody. I do apologize, but actually, that's not my husband."

• 12:28Speaker 03

  And as you can imagine, I was mortified. But obviously, just a few minutes later, Mike appears, oh, sorry, with Tom, obviously, on the jet ski, appears from behind a headland. He's quite safe, and so's Tom. And as relieved as I am, I just want to sink into the sand and disappear. Now, you might think that this whole episode would have made me far more what-if. But whether it was seeing Tom's little glowing face as he met me afterwards, or maybe it was my husband and I laughing at my huge embarrassment at this proper crowd that I got to yell

• 13:11Speaker 03

  at the poor bemused stranger on the jet ski. Whatever it was, that was the day I decided I would release myself from the shackles of what-if. And instead, I would say, "Why not? Give it a go. It might be fun." And this really has been a great escape for me, and my life has been more fun. And hey, it's the reason I'm here tonight.

• 13:49Speaker 01

  That was Sally Wheatley. Her son Tom grew up to be a tall, strong man. He overcame his dyspraxia and was an actor in musical theater and toured all over the world. To see a picture of Sally's husband and son the following year, jet skiing with life jackets on, of course, visit themoth.org. Sally is happy to say that she's in her late 60s. She enjoys the adrenaline rush of sitting at the front of very fast roller coasters, going upside down on the fastest zip line in the world, and although it terrifies her, telling moth stories. She wrote me, "On the day I discovered I had cancer, thankfully now all sorted, I insisted my husband drive as fast as he possibly could

• 14:32Speaker 01

  from the hospital, so that I would not miss the train into London to the moth story slam. After telling the story, I realized I still had the hospital plastic name band on my wrist." Now that is dedication, Sally.

• 14:49Speaker 01

  Our next Grand Slam story was told in Texas, where we partner with Houston Public Media. The theme was "Lost and Found." Here's Andrea Koep.

• 15:02Speaker 04

  On the night my husband Tom died, his hair and his beard were green. Bright, vibrant green, ridiculously silly green. I don't know if you can see it, but it was lime, crazy green. They had never been green before, and they were only green for three days. But on that day, when the hospice nurse walked through our front door for the last time, they were green. And a few hours later, when two men came to clean him and wrap him and take him out of our house for the last time, they were green. And it didn't occur to me for hours and hours that I had forgotten to warn them.

• 15:45Speaker 04

  Four days earlier, our hospice social worker had come to visit us. She'd been encouraging me to tell Tom that it was okay to let go, that I would be okay, that we would all be okay. And so, in the moments when his breathing was very quiet, I would lean in and say those things to him. But as I said the words, I kept imagining that in his head, he was responding to me by saying, "Do you not think I'm trying to go? Are you ever going to stop telling me what to do?" Because honestly, that's a pretty reasonable response in that situation. As I walked the social worker to her car, she said, "I don't get it. His body is completely ready to go,

• 16:29Speaker 04

  but there's something holding him here, and I don't know what it is. Maybe you can figure that out." So I'm back inside, and I told Tom what she'd said. And I asked if there was anything I could do to help him feel like his life was complete. And at that point, he was exhausted, and his eyes were closed, and he just very, very slightly moved his head from left to right. No. At that point, he had pretty much stopped talking in general. But there had been a point in time that lasted a month, maybe two, where at the end of every day, he would hug me really tight, and he would say, "I love you more than anything in this world, but I really hope I'll be gone by morning." And that night, at the end of the day,

• 17:13Speaker 04

  I hugged him gently, and I said to him, "I love you more than anything in this world, but I hope you'll be gone by morning." The next day, I carried my coffee into our bedroom, and I sat by the bed, kind of pretending that we were starting our day the same way we had for more than 40 years. I sat very quietly, because he appeared to be deeply asleep, his eyes closed, his breathing steady. And then, all of a sudden, his eyes flew open. He looked right at me, and he spoke with an intensity and power that he had not had in probably a month. And he said, "Dye my hair green."

• 17:55Speaker 04

  And he closed his eyes. Minutes passed. And then he opened them again, and he said, "And my beard." And he closed his eyes. And his eyes stayed closed for so long, I thought he'd fallen asleep. Honestly, I thought the whole thing was like some end-of-life hallucination situation. Until, with his eyes still closed, he said very forcefully, "Do it now." And so I did. I used to teach high school theater. This was something I knew how to do. The family friend that we had hired to help care for him

• 18:38Speaker 04

  draped him in plastic garbage bags and sheets and towels while I drove as fast as I could to Sally Beauty Supply, and explained to the 20-year-old behind the counter what I needed and why I needed it. An hour later, it was done. Hair and beard, bright, crazy green. I took his picture, and I held it in front of him. He opened one eye, he looked at the picture, he looked at me, he gave me a wink, closed his eyes, and fell deeply asleep for the rest of the day. That night, he was awake just long enough for me to ask him why it had been so important for us to do this. And this is what he said.

• 19:20Speaker 04

  "Didn't do enough silly things. Should have done more." So I lay awake that entire night, wondering if I was doing enough silly things in my life. In fact, honestly, I wonder if you are doing enough silly things. Tom had told me that when I missed him, I should look for him in the moon. So I do. I look at the moon, and I see him there. I see him with his stupid green hair. I see his favorite dog by his side, the infamous Uncle Mike. I see Tom grinning. Sometimes I see him winking. Often, I see a Guinness in one hand and a cheeseburger in the other.

• 20:05Speaker 04

  And sometimes, when the moon is full and there's no one around, I will throw back my head, and I will look up at the moon, and I will say, "Hello!" And tell him about something ridiculous that I've recently done, you know, kind of like this. There is a full moon tonight. I'm going outside after this, and I'm going to look up at the moon, and I'm going to wave. If you've decided you need to do more silly things in your life, come join me. And if you have a beer in one hand and a burger in the other, that will just be perfect. Thank you.

• 20:52Speaker 01

  That was Andrea Koep. Andrea is a percussionist with the Houston Civic Symphony, who recently retired from teaching music, theater, and art. I asked her about her Grand Slam experience. She said, "I think it's a universal experience to share a family story and be told. That isn't how I remember it. But the night of the Grand Slam, when I returned to my seat, my son and daughter both whispered, 'You got it exactly right.'" Andrea tries to do something silly every day and hopes you will too. And please feel free to say hello to Tom next time you see the moon.

• 21:32Speaker 01

  In a moment, college dreams in a big family and a lesson in clouds when The Moth Radio Hour continues.

• 21:53Speaker 05

  The Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts.

• 22:01Speaker 00

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• 25:04Speaker 01

  This is The Moth Radio Hour. I'm Jennifer Hickson. In celebration of 25 years of Story Slams, we are hearing Grand Slam stories from around the country. This next one is from Washington, DC, where we partner with public radio station WAMU. The theme was curveballs. Here's Devarriest Curry.

• 25:27Speaker 01

  Good evening. One day in December, when I was in the 10th grade, I came home from school to find my mother reclining on the sofa. She said she was sick. But you know, when my mother stood up a few minutes later, and I saw the dress that she had on, and saw that big stomach sticking out, I thought, and I almost blurted out, "You're not sick. You're pregnant. Again, again, with the 10th child." I could see my college dream disappearing.

• 26:09Speaker 01

  Since first grade, I had dreamed of going to college so I would have access to a library. Because you see, in Mississippi, blacks could not go to the county library, and we did not have libraries in our very separate but unequal schools. So I was looking forward to college, and my parents encouraged that by saying, "You're going to college." Every denial of gratification, "You're going to college." Whether it was denying buying me nail polish, or whether it was buying only one bunch of bananas, which was split among

• 26:46Speaker 01

  the nine kids. And as the second kid, every time there was a new mouth to feed, I could see my dreams slipping away. So one day, I asked Mom, "How are we expected to go to college if you keep bringing all these babies in here?" Mother just looked at me and said, "There's always enough to share, and there's always room at the table for others. You just keep your grades up and keep working hard." Well, the working hard I had to keep doing, because with every baby, I had to wash diapers to get the poop out. There were

• 27:29Speaker 01

  no Pampers back there. And as for that table, there was not room at the table for all of us. We didn't have an expandable table, so with every new one, we had to squeeze together just to sit at the table. I could just see myself being stuck in Mississippi, cleaning houses or picking cotton. But you know, after that ninth baby, something happened that restored my dream. When that baby was four months old, my mother left him for a full week to go to a church conference. And I thought, "Hmm, if she's leaving that nursing

• 28:11Speaker 01

  baby to go for a church conference, even she is tired of babies. They're gonna stop coming. I'm gonna go to college." And when Mom came back with information about the college I wanted to attend, and books, two books, I started studying even harder. So with my dream restored, you can imagine how I felt that December day with that stomach sticking out there with baby 10. I was so upset, I didn't even look at that baby when they brought that baby home, and didn't look at her when I was changing her. Until one day, it seemed she demanded that I look at her. She just kept cooing and waving her

• 28:53Speaker 01

  little hands, until I looked into her face. And when I looked into her face, it is though she said, "I didn't come to derail your dreams. I came to help you." And I softened a bit and thought, "You know, perhaps Mom's right. Maybe I'll get to college." And you know what? The birth of baby 10 did not derail any of our college dreams. Not only did I go to college, I went to law school. And when I was practicing law during the early

• 29:35Speaker 01

  days, and I was petrified and paralyzed that I was gonna make a mistake, it was baby 10 who said, "Girl, think about all those competitions you won at Georgetown. And you clerked for a demanding judge. You can do that job." That was just one of many occasions when, through her words of wisdom, baby 10 taught me that her birth was not a curse. It was indeed a blessing. I thanked God many a times that He did not ask me if baby 10

• 30:12Speaker 01

  should have been born, because I would have said no. I also thanked Him that I had parents who were wise enough to know that there really is always room at the table for others, and that there is always enough to share, if you open your heart and your mind. And I try to live by that now. Thank you.

• 30:46Speaker 01

  That was Devariest Curry. She practiced law for 35 years before transitioning to stand-up comedy. As a lawyer, there were "no jokes allowed" in the courtroom. She was dead serious. But now that she's taken down her shingle, she quotes Chuck Brown and says she is bustin' loose. She does most of her comedy in churches, at private parties, teas, and college events. She also spends time counseling young professionals on how to succeed. Regarding baby number 10, she is now an ordained minister and psychologist, and she continues to provide joy, comfort, and wise counsel whenever Devariest needs it most. To see a portrait of their parents

• 31:29Speaker 01

  and all 10 of their children, visit themoth.org, where you can also download this story or any of the stories you hear this hour.

• 31:42Speaker 01

  Our next teller shared his story at the Chicago Grand Slam, where we partner with public radio station WBEZ. But as you'll hear, the story takes place in Mississippi. The theme for the show was "A Point of Beauty." Here's Errol McClendon.

• 32:03Speaker 01

  The worst day of my life was the day of my father's funerals. Two funerals.

• 32:11Speaker 05

  The first one was in Cleveland, Mississippi, where my father had been dean of the college. The second one was two and a half hours south of there in Mendenhall, Mississippi. Small rural church, so my father could be buried in the family graveyard. Now, several things added to the bleakness of this event. The time of year. My father passed away two days after Christmas, one day before my 14th birthday. There was also a strange and freak snowstorm moving across the state most of that day. But the real issue was, my father knew how to talk to college kids, he knew how to talk to high school kids, but he didn't know how to talk to little boys.

• 32:56Speaker 05

  And it had just been a couple of years since my father could sit down and actually carry on a conversation with me and ask me things and listen to me. So I felt like I had just started to get to know him and, and he was gone. The first funeral, huge. The church floor was covered with cardboard to soak up the ice and snow that people were tracking in. The coffin was open in front, we were led to the front row, and I'm sitting there looking at the image of my father, this waxen-looking image, trying to wrap my head around the fact that this is really him. The funeral goes on for two hours. Everyone wanted to eulogize my father, and I just go numb.

• 33:40Speaker 05

  I just tune things out and stare at him. Then the coffin is closed, it's put in a hearse, we're put in a car with a driver, and we go two and a half hours in this driving snow to this little rural church, Macedonia Church, Mendenhall, Mississippi. The coffin's unloaded, it's open, we're put on the first row, and this is where it's really strange, insane. People start coming up, everybody in the church, with things to put into the coffin. Their plants and their little coins and their pictures, and I can't really tell what it is, but it, it seems weird. I don't know why they're doing it, but it seems dirty. My father's in this suit, in this white satin, and this, these things are being just put

• 34:24Speaker 05

  in there, in fistfuls. And, and my mother tried to lean over and tells me that this is the way they respect him, but it didn't seem like respecting. And I just put my head down and I just want it to be over, and thank goodness, the service is over quickly. And then we go out to the graveside, the casket is lowered into the ground, a few words are said, we're under a tent, snow. And then they uncover this mound of dirt, they take off the fake grass, and everyone takes two fistfuls and starts throwing dirt in on my father, and I, I don't want dirt on my father, it seems cold. And someone puts two fistfuls of dirt in my hand, and I, I don't want any part of

• 35:09Speaker 05

  it, I throw it down and I go running to the car, and my mother comes with me. And we sit in the car, and as this dirt ritual finishes, everybody comes by the car to express their condolences. I'm very upset, but the thing that does it is, while they're doing that, I look over and I watch this back hole pull the dirt into the hole over my father, and I lose it. I have never cried that hard in my life. I bury my head in my mother's chest and I sob inconsolably for an hour and a half while we're on the road. Every time I think I'm going to get it under control, those images of the dirt going into

• 35:51Speaker 05

  the father's grave, or this waxen figure, them putting things in the coffin, come to me, and I, I go over again, and twice we have to stop because I'm physically ill. In one of my lulls, my mother gently says, "Pumpkin? Look over there and see what you see." I wipe my eyes and nose and I look over and she's pointing up at the sky, and I, I don't know exactly what I'm supposed to see. But there is a little bit of a break in the clouds, and I say, "I, I see a little bit of the sky." She said, "Do you think there's enough blue in that sky to make kitten britches?" Yeah, I thought she'd lost her mind.

• 36:35Speaker 05

  I, I said, "What?" She said, "Do you think there's enough blue over there in the sky to make a good pair of britches for kittens?" And I said, "Well, yeah, I, I think there, there, there might be." She said, "Your daddy always said, if there's enough blue in the sky to make kitten britches, the storm is gonna pass." And in that moment, I realized, I hadn't lost my dad. He was gonna be alive in the things he said, the stories he told, the things he'd given us, the books he gave me. And so we started playing this game. As we moved further north, more and more blue came into the sky.

• 37:18Speaker 05

  So then we found enough blue for kitten socks and kitten shoes, and then we had a kitten shirt and a kitten jacket and one really fine kitten hat. And by the time we got back to Cleveland, Mississippi, the entire sky was blue. And it was true. There was enough blue there to make an entire kitten outfit. And all of the storms had passed. So to this day, whenever I run into a storm, whether it's weather, or it's emotion, or it's stress, I just look for that little patch of blue.

• 38:01Speaker 05

  Just enough blue to make kitten britches. And I know everything is going to be okay. Thank you.

• 38:10Speaker 01

  Errol McClendon is a writer and actor who not only tells stories, he hosts two storytelling events in Berwyn, Illinois. Another bonus of the Story Slams, learning phrases we might never have heard before. Kitten britches? Now you know. Go forth and try that one out. To see a picture of Errol with his father, visit themoth.org, where you can also download the story. In a moment, a story from a nervous parent and an immigrant takes the United States

• 38:52Speaker 01

  citizenship test, when The Moth Radio Hour continues.

• 38:56Speaker 05

  The Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts.

• 39:10Speaker 01

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• 39:41Speaker 06

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• 41:05Speaker 06

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• 41:13Speaker 01

  This is The Moth Radio Hour. I'm Jennifer Hixson, and we are celebrating 25 years of Grand Slams. People bring all sorts of stories to Slams, like this one, that reaches way, way back to trace the very beginnings of life itself. Live from Madison, where we partner with Wisconsin Public Radio, and the theme for the night was "Now or Never," here's Wilson Seely.

• 41:39Speaker 06

  Last fall, I made the decision to begin my search for my birth mother. I was born in South Korea, and I was adopted when I was three months old, but I was raised here in Madison, Wisconsin. And when I started the process, I remember I was on the west side, and I told my parents about my decision, and they were very excited for me. But my dad asked me a question. He said, "Was there anything in particular that happened or came up that made you want to do this now?" And I told him, "No, it was something I had been thinking about for a long time." And for a long time, I had made excuses why I couldn't or shouldn't, or... And at this point in my life, I had just decided that I didn't want to do that anymore.

• 42:20Speaker 06

  I, I also worried that maybe I had already waited too long to find her. I just didn't want to keep making excuses and then live with regret, or live with questions that went unanswered. And so I went through my adoption agency, Eastern Social Welfare Society, and they had done an excellent job of keeping records on my birth parents. And so it wasn't a long period of time before they got an email to me and said they had found my birth mom, and that she was willing to receive letters from me. So we corresponded to each other a few times through the agency by sending letters, and that's when we both decided that we wanted to meet each other in person. And after that, I filled out the paperwork and I was able to email her directly.

• 43:03Speaker 06

  And everything was happening so fast, but at that point, I knew that I had to make my first trip back to South Korea and I had to meet my birth mom. And, you know, time kind of flew by, but my wife and I, we planned the trip and we went to Seoul, which is where I was adopted from, and then Busan, and then Yotzu, which is where I was born and where my mother was raised, and then back to Seoul. And when we had all the details set, I sent my birth mom the itinerary and I said, "We want to just spend as much time as possible with you." And she sent me an email back and she said, "You know, I see that you land on August 3rd, so let's plan on meeting on August 6th, that gives you some time to rest.

• 43:45Speaker 06

  And I called your hotel already in Seoul and they said they have a bar and it opens at 11:00 in the morning." And she said, "So let's plan on meeting at the bar at 11:00 a.m." And I laughed the first time I read that too, because I just thought, "How does my birth mom know that people in Wisconsin like to get to the bar right when it opens?" Did she Google it, or I don't know? But everything was working out perfectly and the day came really quick and all of a sudden it was August 6th. And the night before, my wife and I, we couldn't sleep, so we were up at 1:00 in the morning. And that day, I just tried to kind of keep my mind busy and keep my nerves calm. And one of the things I did, of course, is I called my parents back home. And I talked to my dad first.

• 44:27Speaker 06

  He goes, "Oh, I'm so excited for you and I know it's going to be great and just, you know, call us when you're done and we want to hear all about it. And here's your mom." And my mom got on the phone and she said the same thing. And then she asked me, "Will, what do you plan on asking your birth mom when you meet her?" And it took me back because all this time, I just really hadn't thought a lot about that. And I told her, "Well, I definitely want to ask her, why did you put me up for adoption? And I definitely want to ask her, did you ever regret it?" And my mom paused and she said, "Will, don't ask her those kinds of questions. Those are going to be difficult for her. Those are going to be painful. That's going to be a sensitive issue for her."

• 45:08Speaker 06

  And I knew my mom was right because she's a mom and, but in the back of my mind, I could only think like, "This could be my only time to ask those questions and this could be my only time to get those answers." So I asked my mom, "Well, what do you think I should ask her?" And she said, "Well, you know, ask something fun, something interesting, like, 'Do you have any family in North Korea?'" "And what's that like?" And then we both kind of laughed and I said, "Mom, I think that's also a sensitive question." So then we sort of agreed that, you know, after we talked, that it was going to be intense. You know, it was going to be amazing and that if we just let the conversation flow naturally, it would happen.

• 45:53Speaker 06

  And that morning flew by and all of a sudden, I got a text message from my interpreter, Nuna, and she was in the lobby. So we took the elevator down to the lobby and we introduced ourselves for the first time in person and we had a little conversation and all of a sudden, her phone buzzed and she looked at it and she looked up at me and she said, "Your birth mom's already here. Are you ready?" And I was as ready as I would be and so we got in the elevator and I remember just trying to focus on my breathing because I knew as soon as those elevator doors opened, I was going to step and turn the corner and right there would be my birth mom and I'd see her for the first time. And the elevator doors opened and my chest tightened and all I really remember is just feeling my wife's hand on my back.

• 46:36Speaker 06

  And I stepped out of the elevator and I turned and towards the back of the bar, I saw her sitting on a sofa. She was in front of a large window with the sunlight coming in from behind her, so I could just see her silhouette. And I walked towards her and she stood up and I could tell she started crying. And I said, "Oma," which is mom in Korean, and that's what my translator back here, Mr. Park in the States, told me to call her when I first met her. And she put her hands to her face and she kept crying. And as I got close enough to her, I hugged her and she sort of crumbled in my arms and we sat down together like that. And she would look down to her hands and she just kept crying. And so I took her hands into mine and I held them. And she said a few times in English, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

• 47:19Speaker 06

  And I told her, "You don't owe me any apology. You don't have to say you're sorry to me." And at this point, everyone was crying except for me and that surprised me because throughout this whole process, I had done a lot of crying. And now, I was just smiling ear to ear and I felt this just at peace. And when my birth mom had calmed down, she wiped the tears from her eyes and she looked up at Nuna and she said something in Korean. And Nuna looked at me and she said, "Your birth mom wants you to know that you can ask her anything and she'll do her best to answer." And I looked down at our hands clasped together and I smiled and I looked up at her and her

• 47:59Speaker 06

  eyes and all I could think to say was, "This is all I need right here. I love you, Oma, and I love you, mom. Thank you."

• 48:15Speaker 01

  That was Wilson Seely. He's a high school teacher in Wisconsin, where he lives with his wife and young son. Wilson shared a photo standing behind a cake his oma brought to represent all the birthdays and holidays they missed together. The candles are lit and they both look very happy. Wilson learned about the moth from a fellow teacher. He said, "You're forced to condense your life's moments into five-minute segments, challenging you to really wrestle with what mattered most and why." He said storytelling is an essential part of teaching and it's really helped him grow as an educator, too. Our final story in this tour of Grand Slams around the country was told in Minnesota.

• 49:00Speaker 01

  The theme was Blessings in Disguise. Live from the Grand Slam in Twin Cities, here's Sufjan Jumakoff.

• 49:11Speaker 06

  You probably can tell from my accent that I spent some time outside of the United States. I moved to the U.S. in 2011 and it took me five years to get my green card, another five years to become a citizen, but only five minutes to almost mess it up. The Baltimore, Maryland immigration officer with a name tag, Heather Hoggan, who administered my citizenship, looked like a nice person. She spoke softly and stared at me without blinking.

• 49:54Speaker 06

  She administered my citizenship exam, which is called the Civic Test. And most of the questions on the Civic Test were pretty easy, like name three original states and one Native American tribe. But she also asked some tricky questions, like, "What is the name of the U.S. president now?" So now was January 12, 2021.

• 50:36Speaker 06

  And the president-elect becomes real president on January 20. So I said, "Joe Biden is the president-elect, but Donald Trump is the president for another week." But the one that was really tricky question for me was when Officer Hoggan asked, "What is the capital of your state?" So I was living in Maryland, so I thought, "Should I say Annapolis?"

• 51:14Speaker 06

  But at the same time, I was about to move in with my girlfriend to Virginia and I thought, "Maybe I should say Richmond." But I still had my driver's license in Maryland, so I decided to go with Annapolis. So Officer Hoggan said kindly, "You passed the Civic Test with flying colors. Congratulations." And I said, "Thank you. I can't believe I'm just inches away from becoming a full-fledged American." And then she offered, "You also can change your name before I type it in your certificate if you want to."

• 51:59Speaker 06

  And I thought, "Yeah, maybe I should change my weird Muslim name, Sufjan, to a more popular American name, like Barack." But then I said, "No, I guess Sufjan's going to be just fine." Then I read the oath of allegiance and Officer Hoggan solemnly gave me my naturalization certificate. And I was holding it in my hand and what could go possibly wrong? And she said, "Sign here and put down your address."

• 52:42Speaker 06

  And I said, "Should I put my new address in Virginia?" And suddenly, she snapped my certificate out of my hand and said, "If you live in Virginia, you can't get citizenship in Maryland. You have to reapply in Virginia." "Oh, no, I haven't moved to Virginia yet," I said. "I'm just planning to move in with my girlfriend in the future." She said, "Yeah, I remember you said Annapolis is your capital." And I thought, "Thank God I said the capital of Maryland."

• 53:21Speaker 06

  And I was very nervous until she finally gave me back my precious certificate and I saw Donald Trump's signature, which looked like electrocardiogram.

• 53:37Speaker 06

  ...of heartbeat.

• 53:43Speaker 06

  And my heartbeat probably looked Trump's, like Trump's signature at that moment.

• 53:49Speaker 06

  And finally, I exited the immigration center and my friends, Charles, Maggie, and Nart, met me outside with a beautiful song. "This land is your land, this land is my land." And that song put words into how I felt at that moment. And I thought, "This land is my land, and these people are my people." So I wanted to request my fellow Americans, if you could sing that song with me right now.

• 54:25Speaker 06

  "This land is your land, this land is my land, this land was made for you and me."

• 54:44Speaker 01

  That was Sufian Jumakov. Sufian is an academic author and adjunct associate professor of, guess what, US history. No wonder he aced that citizenship test. We don't typically allow singing at The Moth, but in this case, it wasn't just Sufian. It was everyone. So objection overruled.

• 55:07Speaker 01

  This concludes our hour of Grand Slam stories. Story slams are presented monthly in 29 cities across the country. Hope you'll join us live one day and maybe even share a story of your own and perhaps even end up on a Grand Slam stage or on this radio show. Thanks to all the tellers in this hour who shared bits of their lives and advice to live by. Take risks, be more silly, make room at the table, exchange what if for why not, always look for patches of blue sky big enough to make kitten britches, and of course, this land is your land. That's it for this episode of The Moth Radio Hour. We hope you'll join us next time.

• 56:01Speaker 05

  This episode of The Moth Radio Hour was produced by me, Jay Allison, and Jennifer Hixson, who also hosted the show. Co-producer is Vicky Merrick, associate producer Emily Couch, Grand Slam coaching by Michelle Jalowski, Larry Rosen, Chloe Salmon, and Kate Tellers. The Moth's leadership team includes Gina Duncan, Marina Kluch, Sarah Austin Jenness, Jordan Cardenale, Caledonia Cairns, Suzanne Rust, Sarah Jane Johnson, and Patricia Urenia. Moth stories are true, as remembered and affirmed by the storytellers. Our theme music is by The Drift. Other music in this hour is from Epidemic Sound and Blue Dot Sessions.

• 56:43Speaker 05

  Podcast music, production support from Davey Sumner. The Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts. Special thanks to our friends at Odyssey, including executive producer Leah Reese Dennis. For more about our podcast, for information on pitching us your own story, and to learn all about The Moth, go to our website, themoth.org.

• 57:21Speaker 06

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