It’s Not Too Late: The 5 Shifts That Will Change the Rest of Your Year with Ed Mylett

What if the best part of the year hasn’t happened yet? If you’ve been feeling stuck, behind, and sick of your own bad habits, this conversation is for you. In this powerful and deeply personal episode, Mel sits down with bestselling author, entrepreneur, and one of favorite people Ed Mylett. They talk about what it takes to stop living on autopilot and start building a great life, at any age. Ed believes you are always one decision away from a different life. But here’s where Ed’s advice is completely fresh and different: Ed says building a great life isn’t about doing more, achieving more, or adding another goal. He knows: The most powerful thing you can do is make room for the life you want by letting go of what is keeping you stuck. After losing his father and facing serious health challenges of his own, Ed was forced to rethink the way he was living. He began questioning what success really means, how much of his life he had wasted worrying, and whether the things he was chasing still mattered to him. What he found, and is sharing with you today, changed the way he thinks about time, confidence, purpose, relationships, and what makes a life meaningful. In this episode, you’ll learn: -How you can change the direction of your life with one decision -The simple life audit Ed uses to figure out what he needs to let go of -How to break the patterns that keep pulling you backward -Ed’s simple tool to stop worry and take back control of your life -To create a different future, even when your current circumstances make you feel stuck -How to build confidence by creating small wins that prove you can trust yourself -To trusting your intentions, even when you doubt your abilities -How “one more day” helped save Ed’s father’s life, and became one of Ed’s most powerful ideas. -Why you are most qualified to help the person you used to be, and how your greatest struggles can become a source of purpose -How helping someone else can pull you out of helplessness and reconnect you with your own value -The daily habit Ed is using to create more clarity, purpose, and meaning in his life -Why waiting until “someday” to enjoy your life is one of the biggest mistakes you can make Ed’s story is a reminder that your mistakes are not proof that you failed. Your past is not proof that you’re stuck. And the experiences you wish you could erase may become the very things that allow you to make a difference in someone else’s life. If you’ve been waiting for a sign that it’s not too late to change your life, this is it. You’re not done. There is still time left on the clock. And your next chapter can start today. For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page. If you liked the episode, check out this one next: The Science of Making & Breaking Habits: How to Change Your Life in 1 Month Mel also wants to tell you: Try the 23g protein shot I drink every single morning Join 2 million readers loving my weekly newsletter - full of tips, tools, and inspiration What if the best part of the year hasn’t happened yet? If you’ve been feeling stuck, behind, and sick of your own bad habits, this conversation is for you. In this powerful and deeply personal episode, Mel sits down with bestselling author, entrepreneur, and one of favorite people Ed Mylett. They talk about what it takes to stop living on autopilot and start building a great life, at any age. Ed believes you are always one decision away from a different life. But here’s where Ed’s advice is completely fresh and different: Ed says building a great life isn’t about doing more, achieving more, or adding another goal. He knows: The most powerful thing you can do is make room for the life you want by letting go of what is keeping you stuck. After losing his father and facing serious health challenges of his own, Ed was forced to rethink the way he was living. He began questioning what success really means, how much of his life he had wasted worrying, and whether the things he was chasing still mattered to him. What he found, and is sharing with you today, changed the way he thinks about time, confidence, purpose, relationships, and what makes a life meaningful. In this episode, you’ll learn: -How you can change the direction of your life with one decision -The simple life audit Ed uses to figure out what he needs to let go of -How to break the patterns that keep pulling you backward -Ed’s simple tool to stop worry and take back control of your life -To create a different future, even when your current circumstances make you feel stuck -How to build confidence by creating small wins that prove you can trust yourself -To trusting your intentions, even when you doubt your abilities -How “one more day” helped save Ed’s father’s life, and became one of Ed’s most powerful ideas. -Why you are most qualified to help the person you used to be, and how your greatest struggles can become a source of purpose -How helping someone else can pull you out of helplessness and reconnect you with your own value -The daily habit Ed is using to create more clarity, purpose, and meaning in his life -Why waiting until “someday” to enjoy your life is one of the biggest mistakes you can make Ed’s story is a reminder that your mistakes are not proof that you failed. Your past is not proof that you’re stuck. And the experiences you wish you could erase may become the very things that allow you to make a difference in someone else’s life. If you’ve been waiting for a sign that it’s not too late to change your life, this is it. You’re not done. There is still time left on the clock. And your next chapter can start today. For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page. If you liked the episode, check out this one next: The Science of Making & Breaking Habits: How to Change Your Life in 1 Month Mel also wants to tell you: Try the 23g protein shot I drink every single morning Join 2 million readers loving my weekly newsletter - full of tips, tools, and inspiration The Let Them Theory: read the book everyone’s talking about Watch the episodes on YouTube Connect with me on Instagram Follow the show’s Instagram for clips, behind the scenes, and more Find some daily positivity on my TikTok Want zero ads? Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes ad-free Disclaimer

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Hey, it's your friend Mel and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast.

• 0:09Speaker 00

  Okay, I just finished taping what you're about to listen to. And I'm going to go on record and say, this will be one of the most profound and important conversations you may ever listen to. It's about how to reinvent yourself, how to stop worrying, how to dream again, and how to use the power of intention to create the life you've always wanted. I cannot wait for you to meet my very dear friend, Ed Mylett. This conversation will leave you feeling lighter, hopeful, and excited about what's ahead of you. Because Ed's going to tell you, you truly are one decision away from changing the rest of your life.

• 0:54Speaker 00

  All right, don't go anywhere. After a few short words from our sponsors, we're going to be back with this extraordinary conversation, and I cannot wait for you to experience this.

• 1:09Speaker 00

  This is your life. If you want to reinvent yourself, it's time. Southern New Hampshire University offers over 200 degree programs to help you take the next step. Courses are available online 24/7, so you can balance work, family, and everything in between. And with low online tuition rates, Southern New Hampshire University makes it easier to invest in you. Don't wait for someday, start today. Visit SNHU.edu/Mel to learn more. That's SNHU.edu/Mel. The Mel Robbins Podcast is brought to you by Expedia. I love Expedia because I love traveling. And here's the thing, you may be holding off on booking a trip right now because you think you need the whole plan to come together.

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• 2:39Speaker 00

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• 2:50Speaker 00

  Hey, it's your friend Mel and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. I am ecstatic that you're here today. This is going to be an extraordinary episode. It's always an honor to spend time with you. And if you're a new listener, or somebody shared this episode with you, I just want to take a moment and personally welcome you to the Mel Robbins Podcast family. I said this episode's going to be extraordinary because today's episode will remind you in your bones, you're not too late. One decision can change the rest of your life. And to give you that reminder is my very, very dear friend, Ed Mylett. Ed Mylett is an entrepreneur, one of the top motivational speakers in the world.

• 3:32Speaker 00

  He's a performance coach to the world's top athletes, entertainers, and business leaders. He is also the host of the Ed Mylett Show. He has over 15 million followers online, is a number one bestselling author. And this is one of the very first interviews he has given publicly since recovering from heart issues over two and a half years ago. If you know him and you love Ed, you are going to experience Ed in an entirely different way today. And if you're just meeting him, I know you will be absolutely blown away. Please help me welcome my dear friend, Ed Mylett, to the Mel Robbins Podcast.

• 4:15Speaker 01

  I am so happy to be here. It is so good to see you. I love you, and I'm so proud of all you've been doing.

• 4:20Speaker 00

  Well, Ed, I am so excited to have you here because when I feel down, when I feel discouraged, when I overcomplicate my life, you're the person I turn to.

• 4:31Speaker 01

  Oh, wow. Thank you, Mel, so much. It means the world to me coming from you.

• 4:34Speaker 00

  Well, that's why I wanted you here, because I feel like you have this magical ability to lift people up when they feel very low. And if the person who is listening right now feels like the best of their life is behind them, or they just feel stuck and discouraged, if they were to truly take to heart everything that you're about to share with us today, from your remarkable life and the things that you've learned the hard way, what could change?

• 5:05Speaker 01

  I think everything can change. I'm a big believer, and I know you are as well, you are literally one decision away from changing your life. And that is not rhetoric to me in any way. You're one new relationship, one new idea, one breakthrough. You truly are one opportunity, one decision away. But here's the hook, if you don't live a life expecting those one more's to show up, you're going to miss them. And all it is is a decision. Hey, I'm going to get up expecting some good crap to happen. I'm going to get up expecting someone to come in that's going to make a shift. I'm going to get up, maybe coming up with a new idea. I'm going to expect listening to this podcast today between Ed and Mel. I'm going to come up with a new idea, a new thought, a new perspective.

• 5:45Speaker 01

  If you expect it, your mind goes to work on confirming that belief. You have to say, you know what? The way I've been thinking, unfortunately, has got me where I'm at. What do I have to lose by just maybe just imagining? You don't even have to believe it's going to happen yet. I didn't say believe it yet. We'll get to that later. It starts with imagining it. Here's the other thing I would say, you're probably already imagining things now. They're just not the things that serve you.

• 6:14Speaker 00

  So give me some examples.

• 6:15Speaker 01

  Well, I can tell you, like in my own life, you know this, one of the reasons I even talk about being more motivated, or having more confidence, or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I was raised with an alcoholic and a drug addict dad. And by the way, we're recording this in Boston. We were on welfare when we lived here in Boston as a little boy. So I really kind of think I know what it's like to not feel good about yourself. To this day, at 55, walking in here today, I still struggle. I don't know if I've ever said this on any show out loud, driving over here, I was like, why, why would they listen to me? I still struggle with massive insecurity, self-confidence, all of those things. There are things that I don't, I don't know that I'm ever going to leave all of them. So if that was a requirement to have a decent life, I would never have one. Even recently, I felt that way.

• 7:00Speaker 01

  When you feel the most helpless, attempt to become the most helpful. In other words, move your frame of reference off of yourself temporarily, and do whatever you can to just go serve in some way, in a quiet way. It can even be small. It can even be just calling someone out of the blue that you've not talked to in a long time and saying, hey, just want to remind you, which I do with you from time to time. I love you. I'm thinking about you. Just somehow get out of self for a second. And so when you feel helpless, get helpful. When I was at my lowest of my life, I remember thinking, I'm going to literally say a prayer for this person that's walking by me, like literally on the street, just peace me with them. And it was, it made me feel good about me. It's like I have some value, some worth. I'll get to tell you something, maybe it's too much, but I was with my dad when he died, Mel.

• 7:45Speaker 01

  And I literally held my father's hand when he took his last breath. This is pretty personal, but we were in my dad's house, Mel, and I walked in there and immediately something dawned on me. That was my dad there, but it was not really my dad anymore. That was his body. I just, I just knew there's more to us than our bodies, whatever your faith beliefs are. But there's a spirit to you, there's a soul, there's an energy, there's a frequency that you were put here to do something in your life that's great for a reason. You're supposed to be happy. You're supposed to get some of those dreams out of your life. You're supposed to have some memories. We were in my dad's house, Mel. My dad's car was parked in the driveway. He didn't take any of those with him.

• 8:29Speaker 01

  You're not your possessions. My dad had some awards literally in the room he passed away in. You're not your accolades or what other people think about you or say about you. He took none of that with him. But there's another thing my dad had when he died. That he also didn't take with him. My dad had fears. Problems. Worries. Insecurities. None of those went with him. So you are not those things. Not only you're not your body or your possessions or what other people say about you. But you're not these worries. You're not these fears. You're not your insecurities. So at any time, you can make a decision to begin to separate from them. You don't have to wait to the end like my dad did.

• 9:10Speaker 01

  And I say that to everybody because I think sometimes we think every condition we have is forever. Nothing's forever. This life isn't forever. So why not begin to think a little bit differently? Why not to imagine and dream? Because you're not going to take any of that stuff with you anyway.

• 9:26Speaker 00

  How did that? Experience and revelation shift you?

• 9:31Speaker 01

  You know what occurs to you when a parent passes away? You're next. I'm next. I've only got so much time here left. And so what it did for me is it made me audit my life. What matters to me? What's important? Who do I want to be when this thing's over with? I know we're getting heavy early. But it did do that for me. And um. But the biggie for me was I'm a worrier.

• 9:56Speaker 00

  People wouldn't know that about you. But it's so true.

• 9:59Speaker 01

  It's true. I worry and um. I I know where it comes from too, but I I just think so many of the things I worried about in my life, I made bigger than they were. And I've spent so much of my life not giving myself the gift of peace that was always around me. It was always around me. And I thought, once I get that, I can be happy. Once I get that, I won't worry anymore. Once I have enough money saved or once. I remember thinking when I was so broke and all this money on credit cards. If I could just get these credit cards paid off, if I could just get the. And I kept moving the end zone all of the time. And so when my dad died, I literally decided I'm I'm I'm going to enjoy the gifts that are around me. And it turns out it's the people.

• 10:40Speaker 01

  And just looking in their eyes a little bit longer, spending a little bit more time telling them I love them. And I know that may sound hokey. But it brings me great joy to do that in my life now. That's not that I don't think you should go for your big dreams. Right? And have achievement and make a difference. This show makes a huge difference. I'd like to think my show makes a difference in people's lives. But I don't ever want to do that again at the expense of the people around me that are closest to me. And I know you feel that way too. It's like just sometimes just there are blessings around us if we'll just. Acknowledge them. And I think sometimes. We think, well, if I, once I'm happy, then I'll get that thing. What if it's the reverse? What is that if you could actually feel some of the emotions of gratefulness and gratitude and joy and bliss and peace now?

• 11:23Speaker 01

  That the things you want will find you. Rather than you having to go get all these things, thinking if you get them, you'll get the emotion.

• 11:32Speaker 00

  You said a couple of things that I want to make sure that I have you unpack because they're really important.

• 11:36Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 11:37Speaker 00

  And. You know, I told you when we first started talking, I said, I think that as you're listening. To this, you're going to have goosebumps because you're going to feel like this conversation. At this exact moment is exactly what you needed to hear. And I already feel that way for me personally. So what you just said about your dad. Because I do think a lot about time and how uh it's ticking.

• 12:04Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 12:04Speaker 00

  And that if you're not careful, you'll miss the things.

• 12:07Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 12:08Speaker 00

  That matter most because you were busy thinking you had more time.

• 12:11Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 12:12Speaker 00

  But you also said, you know, you had regrets around it. But you then recalibrated. So could you explain? Why that's a powerful pivot when you are brave enough to see your regrets? But then you use the regret to recalibrate how you move forward.

• 12:31Speaker 01

  There's two things that move you, I found in this life. It's one is like moving towards pleasure in dreams. The other one is moving away from pain. And sometimes this pain can kind of be a gift in the sense that, you know, I. I'm not a big uh. Drinker, I have a cocktail, as you know, but I'm not a big drinker. And one of the reasons I'm not is because of the pain of watching my father do too much of it. So some of these things actually that are brought into our life. Can teach us a lesson. I'm a big believer that at any stage of your life, you have full permission to re-audit it. And just ask yourself like, is this still my dream? Is this still what I want? Is this still serving me? I have an island and there were these two bald eagles on the island. Wilma and Fred. And they were there about 15 years before I bought it. And I found Fred one day under a tree.

• 13:17Speaker 01

  And he was struggling and I put some food out and he didn't come out for. He finally came out and I thought something's wrong. I don't know bald eagles very well, but something's wrong. We called the bird sanctuary and about two days later, they had to. Put him down and and he went to heaven. And afterwards, the lady from the bird sanctuary came out and she said, just so you know, Wilma will go soon. Usually when they lose their mate. They'll go soon. About five weeks later, I'm taking a walk and I'm hearing this. Banging against the rocks like a woodpecker. And I'm like, what is going on here? And I look and it's Wilma literally ramming her beak into these rocks. And I'm like, oh, my gosh, she's she's trying to take her life. And then I saw her about five weeks later and she had like half her feathers. And I'm like, oh, no.

• 14:01Speaker 01

  So I called the lady from the bird sanctuary and she says, let me come out. And the lady from the bird sanctuary begins to cry like pretty heavy. And I said, what's going on? She goes, oh, my gosh, she's doing it. And I said, what's that? And she goes. At about 5% of the time when they lose their mate.

• 14:19Speaker 01

  They'll go through a complete remaking of themselves. And what they do is they have to first sharpen their beak. So that banging on the rocks, she was sharpening her beak. And then what they do is she's plucking all the feathers off of her that no longer serve her. And what will happen is new ones will grow in and she would add about 10 years to her life. And sure enough. She ended up coming back about six months later. All of these feathers were back. She ends up finding a new mate. She said three babies, they lived there on the island. She's remade her life. The lesson is sometimes in life, it's not about adding a bunch more stuff. It's the reverse. It's about re-audiating and saying, I'm going to sharpen my beak. I'm going to get more clear on what I want.

• 15:03Speaker 01

  I'm going to take away and pluck out of my life the things that don't serve me anymore. The beliefs that don't serve me. Maybe some of the relationships that are toxic that don't serve me anymore, the environments that I'm in. And when you begin to take away things. A whole new you emerges and you get a new life. And that's what happened to Wilma. And that's sort of what happened when my dad passed.

• 15:22Speaker 00

  How long ago did your dad pass?

• 15:23Speaker 01

  Three years, three and a half.

• 15:25Speaker 00

  And you said you did an audit. So is there a specific way that the person listening? Can take audit of their life?

• 15:33Speaker 01

  Simple. I actually wrote down the things that I thought I wanted in my life. I made a list of the things that I wanted in my life and I actually literally ranked them on what juiced me anymore. Here's my new thing in my life. What do I want to leave here? And for me, what I want to leave here is I want to leave here great memories with my family. Great dreams with my family. Far deeper relationships with my friends. And I also want to leave here feeling like. You know, I used to say max out your life. Get everything. And to me, that meant climbing. To me now, the the biggest commodity in my life is people and time. And so I made a list of the things. And I found to myself that a lot of the things that I wrote down didn't juice me anymore. And then what I did, here's the biggie, I wrote down what I was afraid of.

• 16:16Speaker 01

  Because although I don't, maybe people might not think this, I'm loaded with fears. Loaded with worries, loaded with anxiety. And so I wrote those things down and I begin to ask myself, how real were they? And once I wrote them down, they lost a lot of their power over me. I became really aware of how silly. Most of these things were that I was worried about simply by writing them down, getting them out of my mind. And onto a sheet of paper tactically is what I did different. I'm like, that's hilarious. That one's dumb. That one's valid. That one's maybe, maybe that one. This one's never going to happen, dumb dumb. You've been carrying this one forever and writing them down almost like. They were thoughts I had, they were not me, once I put them on the paper.

• 16:57Speaker 00

  You know, Ed, this is the first interview that you've done in almost two years. And you have millions of people that follow you online, millions of people that listen to your podcast and have for 10 years. What happened?

• 17:11Speaker 01

  Uh, well, the big thing that happened, I had two, what I would call, we'll call them cardiac events. And that was God awakening me, like shake, like, okay, you're not going to hear what I'm telling you, you're not going to slow down, we're going to physically slow you down. But the other part of it, Mel, honestly, was that during that exact same time, though, I was already evaluating, what do I really want anymore? We had dinner the other night, and I'm like, gosh, I say yes to a lot of dinner. And then it's the night of the dinner, and you're like, we wouldn't be brokenhearted if they canceled. You know what I'm saying? Like, there's so many things in my life at this, I really am on this thing now, where I don't think success is about adding more. People are tired. They're tired,

• 17:52Speaker 01

  they're fatigued. And what I'm saying is, I don't think it's adding a bunch of stuff. I think it's making room for stuff.

• 18:00Speaker 00

  What's the difference?

• 18:02Speaker 01

  The difference is cleaning out your closet. We just moved, and we had to clean, I had to clean out my closet. I had all this stuff in my closet, was loaded with all this stuff, like 90% of the stuff I don't wear is weird, is outdated. I'm keeping it around because it's going to come back someday. And once I like, took all this stuff, and it was very hard, I'm practically a hoarder, all this stuff out of, I have like tennis shoes, like 15 years old, very malodorous tennis shoes, I'm never going to wear again, but somehow, if I lose the pair I've got, I'm going to wear, like, it was silly. And I got rid of a lot of it. I'm like, wow, first off, this closet's way bigger than I remember it being. And there's room now in my closet to add one or two things that are quite good

• 18:43Speaker 01

  looking, that I would actually wear. Once you start to eliminate thoughts that don't serve you, maybe a couple people, some relationships, maybe it's a habit or two you have, when you remove them, now you've created some space. Oh, now, I can add one or two things that do serve me. So that was sort of the process for me. It also gives you some clarity, like, what matters now? There's this space in my life to think and breathe. And by the way, I know a lot of people like, man, I gotta pay this bill, I've got this thing, I've got my kids to soccer, I've got my grandkids over here, I've got this. I 100% do that. That's why you gotta fight even harder for clarity and space. And a lot of it, a lot

• 19:23Speaker 01

  of it is probably thoughts that ruminate in your mind that you have picked up, that do not bring you peace, they bring you chaos, stress, and tension in your life. And it's giving yourself the gift of some spring cleaning of the closet of your mind. And most of this, you're not going to take with you anyway. So evaluate it, audit it. You can literally start a life over at any point you want, even in the worst time. Wilma started her life over when it all was going away. She lost her home, she had lost the man of her dream, she had lost her life, it was almost over, and she went, you know what? I'm going to sharpen my beak, I'm going to create some space, I'm going to get rid of these feathers

• 20:04Speaker 01

  that don't serve me anymore. And I think, it's such a crazy metaphor, but it literally allowed her to soar and to fly again in her life. It wasn't adding stuff, it was eliminating stuff.

• 20:13Speaker 00

  Ed, this is why I wanted you here. See, there are some friends that you have in life where you just kind of stay on the surface. You and I, it's like, we lock arms, we jump right into the deep end. And this is the life force energy that we all deserve. You're incredible, Ed, and so are you for making the time to listen to this. We're going to take a quick break. I also want to give you a chance to share this extraordinary conversation with people in your life who need to unlock some of that life force energy. They need to be and deserve to be reminded that you're not done, and we're not done either. So don't go anywhere, because we're going to be right back. The Mel Robbins Podcast is thrilled to partner with Audible. If you've ever caught yourself

• 20:57Speaker 00

  thinking, I want to read more, but I just don't have time. Well, Audible solves that problem. Audible has the world's largest library of audiobooks and ad-free podcasts, so you can turn each segment of your day into moments that help you learn, grow, and feel better. You could listen to The Let Them Theory by me, or books from some of your favorite guests on the Mel Robbins Podcast, like Atomic Habits or The Psychology of Money. You can listen while you're walking your dog, folding laundry, commuting, working out, making dinner, or winding down before bed. So instead of reaching for your phone and getting pulled into the endless scrolling, fill the same time with ideas that leave you feeling calmer, smarter, more motivated. You don't have to find extra hours in your day, you're simply making better use of the time you already have. Learn about well-being,

• 21:41Speaker 00

  create good habits, and replace doom scrolling. Audible, stories that speak to you. New members can start listening with a 30-day free trial at audible.com/mel. You know what makes life easier? One place that actually has everything. Groceries, check, snacks for the week, yep, school supplies, toiletries, that random thing your kid forgot to mention until 9:00 PM. All of it, one stop, that's Walmart. You can count on Walmart for prescriptions, too. With the Walmart app, managing medications for the whole family, simple. Need to transfer a prescription? Done. Time for a refill? Just tap. You can even get your meds delivered right to your door, so you're not spending another afternoon in line when you've got a million other things going on. Couldn't be easier. One less thing to remember, one less thing to worry about, Walmart for the win. Switch your prescriptions

• 22:25Speaker 00

  to Walmart Pharmacy. Delivery not available for all prescriptions. Exclusions apply. You know, we all need a good outlet once in a while. And finding your outlet starts with making room for the things that help you bloom. Maybe it's tending to your plants, or getting lost in a book, I love that, or sometimes it's just taking a quiet moment for yourself. Mrs. Meyer's Plug-in Scented Oil Diffuser fills your home with amazing garden-inspired scents made with essential oils and other thoughtfully chosen ingredients. Just plug it in and reset your senses. Mrs. Meyer's Clean Day. Find your outlet.

• 23:01Speaker 01

  Sometimes in life, it's not about adding a bunch more stuff. It's the reverse. It's about re-auditing and saying, I'm going to sharpen my beak, I'm going to get more clear on what I want.

• 23:11Speaker 00

  I'm so excited to be here with you and with my dear friend, Ed Mylett. I love this conversation. I love knowing that you're not too late, that one decision can change the rest of your life. Of course it can. I mean, everything that you're sharing with us, Ed, I'm just nodding along because it just rings so true. And what I love about what you're sharing, about the recent revelations that you've had, is that there is so much that takes up space in your mind and in your life that actually isn't helpful?

• 23:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:47Speaker 00

  And isn't important to you.

• 23:49Speaker 01

  Amen. That's right.

• 23:50Speaker 00

  So if you were a huge worrier, and still are.

• 23:54Speaker 01

  Oh, I can help all the worriers.

• 23:55Speaker 00

  So for the worrier that's listening, that isn't even aware, Ed, of how much space worrying is taking up, you mentioned that you have a sense of peace that you haven't had before.

• 24:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:10Speaker 00

  What's the first thing that you could do if you're lost in your mind, you're behind enemy lines?

• 24:17Speaker 01

  I think the reason that I worry is my dad worried. And let me tell you the biggest reason why I stopped. I think with children, things are caught, not taught. I caught that from my old man. And I decided, once I had my cardiac events, that I no longer wanted my children to catch this from me. I think very few people will make changes for themselves, but they'll make big changes for the people that they love. And this way you're being, this worrying you're doing, this ruminating of thoughts that don't serve you, just so you know, it doesn't just affect you. It's affecting your children, it's affecting your spouse, it's affecting everybody around you. There's a frequency to those thoughts, and it's reducing the frequency. See, my dad's drinking, there was a lot of things wrong

• 25:00Speaker 01

  with my dad's drinking, obviously, there's abuse that comes with it. But you know the number one thing? I told my dad this once he got sober. I used to worry about my dad. I'd worry about him. Is he going to come home? Is he going to be in a car accident? Are mom and dad going to get divorced? Is dad going to hurt himself? Is dad going to hurt anybody? So from the age of a little boy, I learned to worry about my dad. Those of you that are worrying, okay, not only is it affecting you, it's affecting everybody around you. This is picked up, it is caught, it's not taught, and you can't hide it. And so the first thing I would tell you is, if you won't do this for yourself, you need to do it for the people that are around you. And the technique to stop worrying is to actually look back on your life and realize that 99% of the things you worried about

• 25:43Speaker 01

  never came to fruition, were never as bad as you did. Worrying allows you to live through an event multiple times, that even if it happened, should only happen to you once. So even the 5% or 1% of the things I worried about, Mel, that actually did happen, which I'm pretty sure I created them by worrying about them all of the time, I actually lived through them hundreds of times, instead of the one time I had to. So I lived through it over and over and over again, and then it happened, and then I lived through it again. I used to think, if I just worry about this enough, it won't happen, or when I get there, I'll be prepared. Turns out, that's not true. If crap's going to hit the fan, crap is hitting the fan. But I lived with the bad events of my life hundreds of times, as opposed to just the one time when it actually happened. So not only did most of the stuff

• 26:28Speaker 01

  I worried about never happened, but when it did happen, it was hundreds of times, my body, my spirit, my heart. Do you think it's by coincidence that this guy who worries all the time, who carries all this insecurities, heart broke down in his early 50s? My heart broke down? I physically think my heart just could not take any more stress. Right when I wake up, first question I ask myself, what do I need to worry about today? What do I gotta get done? What's up? What could, what could go wrong today? Now, Matt, this is someone who millions of people listen to, to better their lives. But if I'm being honest, I was always moving away, trying to get away from these worries.

• 27:12Speaker 01

  And I'm really happy to tell everybody that that can change and has changed for me. I, I worry from time to time. That guy rears his head every once in a while, but I know to slap him back now pretty good by feeding him the thoughts that do serve him and writing down the ones that are silly. And they lose their power over me.

• 27:28Speaker 00

  That's the tool.

• 27:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's my tool.

• 27:30Speaker 00

  If you could literally go back in time and say, hey, dummy,

• 27:32Speaker 01

  Right.

• 27:32Speaker 00

  just write down all this stuff in your head and you're going to see in the piece of paper, how stupid half this stuff is.

• 27:39Speaker 01

  Not half, 98%.

• 27:42Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 27:42Speaker 01

  98%. In my case, 98%. I'm a professional worrier.

• 27:45Speaker 00

  The best thing about this advice is it's free. You take out a piece of paper.

• 27:48Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 27:49Speaker 00

  Just write all this stuff keeping you awake at night. Notice how dumb half of it is. And then do you write down the things you want to believe?

• 27:56Speaker 01

  I do. I write down the things that I want to believe, which for me is, I, well, can I show you a prop on it?

• 28:01Speaker 00

  Sure. I just want to say for those of you listening, he's just holding a regular old thermostat that you would have in a room.

• 28:07Speaker 01

  Okay. The number one way that I think you can shift yourself is that you have a thing inside of you called your identity.

• 28:12Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 28:12Speaker 01

  Okay. That is, I believe next to God. So when I use that term, God, you kind of weave in whatever your beliefs are, as I use that word with everybody, because I absolutely respect all beliefs and I want you to just kind of see that. That word is just hopefully a filter for you to put your worldview on what I'm talking about. I believe next to God, the most powerful force in the world is to be consistent with the way you view you. So your identity is like your thoughts, beliefs, self-concept, et cetera. Here's what I found out about, at least me.

• 28:42Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 28:42Speaker 01

  Okay. If that thing is set at 75 degrees, like we're in the studio area, it's probably about 75 in here right now. What externally, what's going on does not dictate the temperature in here. This place is set at 75 degrees. The external does not matter. I think it's probably about 85 degrees here today while we're, while we're doing it.

• 28:59Speaker 00

  Oh, outside the studios?

• 29:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:00Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 29:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:01Speaker 00

  That's nice.

• 29:01Speaker 01

  So outside, outside the studio, let's say it's 85 degrees. That does not affect the temperature in here. Cause what happens? When the external happens, this thing turns the thermostat on, kicks the air conditioning on and regulates it back to what it's set at. Okay. That's our lives. You have multiple thermostat settings in your life. You have one for love. You have one for peace. You have one for money. You have one for fitness. And whatever that thermostat setting is, that identity you have, you'll do everything in your power, subconsciously and unconsciously, to get your thermostat of your life back to that setting. So that's why so many times in life, you'll see people, they do pick up a new habit. They got a new tip on the show. They've listened to something, but if they're at 75 degrees, let's just say of, well, mental health.

• 29:44Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 29:44Speaker 01

  That I'm set at 75 and all of a sudden, man, I'm feeling some peace. I'm feeling some joy. I'm at 85, I'm at 90, I'm at 100, things are going great. If you don't change what you believe you're worth, if you don't adjust that thermostat setting, that 85 or 90, over time, you will turn the air conditioner on of your life and you'll cool it back down to what you believe you deserve to get. There's one lead character in this sucker. You. And if your thermostat setting of happiness is 75 degrees, you can change all the external conditions you want. You're going to be at 75 degrees. You will turn the air. By the way, you'll also turn the heater on if it gets really, really bad. You probably won't starve. You will turn the heater on and get it back up to 75 degrees. The key is adjusting what you believe you're worth, what you deserve.

• 30:26Speaker 01

  In life, if you don't change these thermostat settings, it's everything. It's the governor. So the reason Ed Mylett worried all the time, I got about a 50 degree peace thermostat most of my life. So of course, no matter how good my life got, no matter what was going great, I'll find a way to get my stress. I'll find a way to get my worry. We all have like five, six emotions that are our dominant emotions.

• 30:47Speaker 00

  What are they?

• 30:48Speaker 01

  Well, it's different for each people. So for me, I think my primary emotions are stress, worry, anxiety. Those were my dominant ones. And when I was younger, anger. And so no matter what happened in a given week, I'll find, by the way, these emotions, when we have them, even if they don't serve us, we're going to get them. Why? They're familiar. Our brains and our minds want to constantly move to what's familiar because it conserves energy. So the key thing for me in my life is I'm going to stop worrying about getting stuff. What are the things I want in my life to feel? I want to feel more peace. I want to feel more ecstasy, joy, bliss. I want to have more optimism in my life, abundance in my life.

• 31:33Speaker 01

  And I've made those my intentions. And over time, I shifted what my lens delivers to me. And so now my lens doesn't always deliver to me the familiar. I used to brag, I'm amazing under stress. Man, you watch me under stress, I'll function. And at one point my wife goes, do you think that's because you constantly find a way to bring it into your life? No matter how good it's doing, you gotta find a way to get. And I was like, gosh, you know, you're really right. So these emotions that may be familiar, don't serve us. Here's the good news. Your past doesn't equal your future. Writing down the emotions you want and the ones that you're most familiar with is really an incredible process in your life.

• 32:12Speaker 00

  You know, we haven't talked about this, but I had a very similar revelation where if I were to list the dominant emotions that I would feel any week, I would say this would be in my late 40s, like peak misery. It would be anger and frustration, anxiety, fear, jealousy. And I kind of need six, because there was a lot of insecurity in there, but there was also this sense of I'm in it alone. Like kind of that, like I'm the, I'm on the outside, I have to do this on my own. Nobody, like they're, like it's all on me.

• 32:49Speaker 01

  How'd you change it?

• 32:51Speaker 00

  I, you said that you either move toward the positive or you move away from the negative. If I use your thermostat example, which I'm just learning for the first time,

• 33:04Speaker 00

  what I would say is I got tired of freezing.

• 33:10Speaker 00

  Because I said to my, I don't want to be this person. And I'm not stuck as this version of myself, but there is absolutely nobody that's going to do this for me. And there's nobody stopping me from changing either. And so I love the analogy of the thermostat, because if you realize that you're freezing in your life.

• 33:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:28Speaker 00

  Using this imagination to dial it up and then asking yourself, if I'm at a 75 or an 80 or 90, what, what are those emotions that I'm going to feel? And you could start there. And I think it's, it goes back to also one of the things that you said, that if you feel stuck or helpless in your life, go help somebody else.

• 33:46Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 33:46Speaker 00

  Because just the act of helping somebody else, opening a door, smiling, saying a silent prayer, whatever it may be, volunteering in your community, it gives you hope.

• 33:57Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 33:57Speaker 00

  That there's something more for you.

• 33:59Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 33:59Speaker 00

  And that's a very, that's like the dial going up and showing you that something else is possible. It pains me to ask you to just take a beat, but I gotta give our sponsors a chance to share a few words and don't go anywhere. Because when we come back, Ed and I are going to go even deeper. Wait till you hear some of the stories he's going to tell you next. Stay with me.

• 34:27Speaker 00

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• 35:07Speaker 00

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• 35:49Speaker 00

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• 36:31Speaker 00

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• 37:09Speaker 01

  You are literally one decision away from changing your life, and that is not rhetoric to me in any way.

• 37:18Speaker 00

  Today, you and I are experiencing a gift. We're spending time with my friend Ed Mylett, and he is reminding you and me, you're not too late. The one decision that can change the rest of your life. We've been talking about the power of your imagination. We've been talking about your future. We've been talking about the decisions that change everything. All right, let's just jump right back in. Now, I'm curious, Ed, you talked about your dad's sobriety. You also write about it in your number one blockbuster, The Power of One More. How did that impact you, your dad getting sober?

• 37:54Speaker 01

  I think when you grew up with any dysfunction, divorce, stress in your home, yelling, drugs, alcohol, which I had the combo, not the divorce, my parents stayed married, you carry a little piece of it with you all your life. I'm driving to a Little League game. My dad, who was an aggressive, I would even say, I think I can say in my father's honor, because he became a beautiful, wonderful man in sobriety, my father was, I would even call him violent. And we're driving to a Little League game, I'll never forget it, Mel, and my dad's crying driving the car. I'm looking at my dad like, what the heck? What's going on here? He pulls the car over, he's still tearing up and crying and not looking at me. And then he turns to me when he says one more. It's why it always stayed with me. He goes, Eddie. I said,

• 38:34Speaker 01

  yeah, Daddy. He goes, I'm gonna try to get sober one more time. And he looks at me, I said, you are? He goes, yeah, son. And I said, Dad, why would this be any different than the other times? You've tried a lot of times. And he goes, well, Eddie, I think sometimes in life, you gotta give everything one more try. I think it's a huge lesson. Just because it hasn't happened before, you're one try away. And then he goes, I think this is the key to life. He goes, Eddie, he never said this before this day, Mel, he goes, I love you. And you deserve a dad you can be proud of. That's why I'm gonna try harder

• 39:15Speaker 01

  this time. What my dad did is he linked his love for me and my sisters and my mom to making this change in this decision. And I'm a believer that love is the most powerful of all emotions. It overrides fear. It overrides anxiety. It overrides stress. It overrides worry. If you want to make one of these changes in your life, you've got to link it to your love of someone else that you care about. Your love for yourself, for your love of God, and you link that. And if you could truly make that connection, it will be bigger than your fear. But if you don't link it to something bigger than that fear, bigger than that worry, bigger than that, I'm not good enough, what are people gonna think about me, what are they gonna say, I'm probably gonna fail again, I've always been average,

• 39:59Speaker 01

  I've always been ordinary, that's just who I am. If you don't link it to something bigger than that emotion, it's probably not gonna happen. My dad finally anchored it to the love of his family. And that love, thank God, was greater than that addiction, was greater than that desire to go do something that didn't serve him. But the crazy part, when my dad got sober, he came back from rehab. He looked good. I went, Dad, are you never gonna drink again? And he says to me, I'll never forget it, Mel, he goes, I can't promise you that, son. And I remember feeling disappointed. He goes, but Eddie, here's what I can tell you. I'm not gonna drink for one more day at a time. And my dad stacked up those one more days, the rest of his life, never had another drink, never used another

• 40:44Speaker 01

  drug. Why does that matter? You don't have to make huge, big decisions. You just gotta decide for today. My dad, every day, made this decision. I'm not gonna drink. I love my family more than I want to drink. It doesn't have to be this huge monumental thing. It's just today. It's just today. When my dad died, I woke up in the middle of the night one night crying. Surprised me. And my wife's like, what's going on? It's the fog of the night. And I'm like, someone helped Daddy. She's like, what are you saying? And I said, I just, I can't believe I never dawned on me before. I'm like 52 years old. I go, my dad didn't get sober alone. Someone helped my dad. And by the way, the night my dad got sober, he was going to take his life. I remember we were at the church, the police

• 41:28Speaker 01

  were looking to find my father. He was gonna kill himself that night. And I said, someone intervened and helped my dad. They changed our whole family. They saved my dad's life. They saved our whole family. I'm probably kind of a speaker and a coach because of this person. They don't probably know I'm his son. The ripple effect of helping one human, my dad. I gotta find him. And I found him. I found the guy. I can't tell you everything about him because there's, it's an anonymous program my dad was in, but God's got a funny sense of humor. My name's Ed, not a cool name. My dad's name's Edward, not a cool name. My grandfather was Edward. This dude's name, Ed. God's just up there laughing at all of us, right? That's not the coolest part of the story, Mel. Here's the cool part.

• 42:13Speaker 01

  What qualified this man to help my dad? What were his qualifications? You think he was a perfect resume? Never sinned? Never made a mistake? No. You know what his qualifications were? He was also a drunk. He had also been a drug addict. He had also been a liar. He also lived in the shadows. He had also carried shame the majority of his life. The reason that that qualified him is you're most qualified in life to help the person you used to be. We think in life that our biggest setbacks, our biggest mistakes, our divorce, our financial mistake, heck, it may not even be any of that. We just think we're disqualified because

• 42:56Speaker 01

  we've always been average. We've always been invisible. And nothing could be further from the truth. Those are the very things that qualify you to help somebody else. And living a great life may not be on Instagram, or having your own show, or having an island or a jet. It might be like in a really quiet moment, when no one's watching, you're helpful. That man, by the way, was only sober 31 days, the day that he helped my dad. So you don't have to have it all figured out. You don't have to have a whole big old plan. You don't have to know every single step. There's 12 steps in that program. This dude didn't even know what the fifth step was because he hadn't done it yet himself. You don't have to have it all figured out. What you have to have is a heart that says, I want to help people.

• 43:40Speaker 01

  And I'm not disqualified because of my mistakes, or my setbacks, or my failures. In fact, those are the very things that do qualify me. My dad went on to help about 4,000 people get sober himself, because you're most qualified to help those you used to be. You start to look at your life very differently. What if all of this stuff has happened to literally prepare me for this decision I'm about to make to change my life? That I'm not gonna hide from my failures, or my screw ups, or my averageness, or my invisibility. It's actually what qualifies me the most to do something great in my life. And that's to help other people. And that's what you were born to do. It's the greatest lesson of my life, is watching this Ed help my precious Ed, so that I'm actually here today with you, hopefully helping one person as well. That's the ripple effect.

• 44:24Speaker 00

  It is my most favorite thing that you say, by far. You're most qualified to help the person you used to be.

• 44:30Speaker 01

  It's true.

• 44:31Speaker 00

  For the person who's listening that still is having trouble kind of believing that, what would you say to them?

• 44:39Speaker 01

  That's the, that's the biggest question in the world. I will flip it on you. Then why else are you here? Then why else are you here? There's a reason that you're here. I'm really good at this because I've screwed up so many things in my life. I'm immensely qualified. You want to talk about worry and screw up? I can do that. You want to talk about screwing up financially? We can do that. You want to talk about being a jerk? I'm qualified for that one, too. Like, I can anger, whatever you want. Pick a topic. I'm pretty much, I've messed it up. And you know, the truth is, those times in your life where you have helped someone, or you did encourage somebody, you feel so good about yourself. You feel at home. You can't worry, fear, or stress in the moments when you've made a difference for somebody else. So you've already done this in your life, and you're

• 45:21Speaker 01

  a good person. And you don't give yourself enough credit for being a good person. I'll tell you a quick thing. My mentor in my life was Wayne Dyer. If you don't know who he is, my friend listening to this, you should go look him up. But I'm running on a beach in Hawaii. I'm 30. And I'm kind of like, doing okay in life. And I'm running down this beach, it's like 6:00 AM. And this guy's got no shirt on, and he's running towards me. It's a bald guy, but he's got a hairy back. And I'm like, oh, I'm gonna have to bump into this dude. And I, I avoid him, and he runs by me, and I'm like, oh my gosh, that was Wayne Dyer. Wayne Dyer would be like Mel Robbins right now.

• 45:53Speaker 00

  That's not true. Wayne Dyer, are you kidding? Is like a legend? Didn't his, what, his book sold like 40 million copies or something? Was it, what is his book called?

• 46:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, The Let Them Theory, I think. But anyway, pretty much, probably Mel Robbins right now. So anyway, so he runs right, I think he just described you. So he runs right by me.

• 46:13Speaker 00

  I don't have a hairy back.

• 46:14Speaker 01

  You do not have.

• 46:15Speaker 00

  I just waxed, that's why.

• 46:17Speaker 01

  Love it. So he, I, we're wearing Sony Walkman, that's how long ago it was. And I take my Walkman off, and I go, Dr. Dyer. And he stops, and he turns around, he's got his headphones. He goes, yeah. I go, you changed my life. And he goes, I doubt that. I bet you changed your life. But how did I help? That's what he said. And he walked towards me, and we sat on the beach. Can you imagine this? And we watched the sun come up together. But here's the lesson from the conversation. At the end of it, he goes, Ed, you're gonna live a great life. In fact, I think you're gonna change the world. Now, at the time, I'm thinking, he has definitely never said this to anybody else. Looking back, he may have said that to everybody. He said, Ed, the reason you're gonna have a great

• 47:02Speaker 01

  life and make a huge difference is you're a good man. And he stopped. He had blue eyes, very similar to my dad's. That was the first time, Mel, in my life, in 30 years at that time, someone gave me a compliment that I believed. You'd have told me I was talented, or smart, or, I didn't believe any of that. But he said, I think you're a good man. I kind of believed that. And he goes, I want you to always get your confidence from your intentions, Ed. You intend to do good. When you walk into a big speech, focus on your intentions to help. When you walk into a one-on-one meeting, I want that confidence to come from, you remind yourself, I intend to do good. I intend to make a difference.

• 47:44Speaker 01

  My intentions are good. He goes, you should beam with confidence over your intentions, Ed, not your ability. And I gotta tell you, walking into the podcast today, any speech, if you asked me, hey, you're so smart, you're so this, I'd come in here really insecure. But I feed myself with my intention. And I would say, our friend listening to this, you know what? You can shift your confidence in an instant with your intentions. Remind yourself, you are a good person. You do want to make a difference. You do want to help. You should be beaming with confidence because of your intention. No, I didn't know, he's writing a book called The Power of Intentions, literally at that time. But I have to tell you, I have walked through this life with all these insecurities and all these worries. But in the moments where I need it, I'm a pretty confident dude.

• 48:28Speaker 00

  What's really cool about that story is he was previewing the lesson that you learned when your dad died.

• 48:33Speaker 01

  That's, wow.

• 48:38Speaker 01

  I never thought about that.

• 48:42Speaker 01

  You're right.

• 48:44Speaker 00

  You are a good dude.

• 48:48Speaker 01

  I never thought about that.

• 48:49Speaker 00

  What comes up for you when you think about that?

• 48:57Speaker 01

  I, I wish I would have given myself a lot more grace in my life. So I did heed that lesson like in the big moments, like before a podcast or a speech or whatever, a business meeting or something.

• 49:20Speaker 01

  But not every day of my life, not the majority of me walking around with me, me walking around with me. I wish I would have given myself a whole lot more grace every day of my life, just remind us, hey, you're a pretty good guy. Everything will be okay. And I didn't give myself that grace and, and as a consequence, I probably hurt people around me, probably hurt my friends. I'm sure all those relationships could have been a lot deeper had I been more present instead of worrying about all the things I was worried about all the time. So I also just think of like, I can't ever get one of those days back with my dad. I would love to have just had more time with my dad and told my dad when he was here, how much I love him, how proud I was of him, how much I cherished him, you know?

• 50:05Speaker 01

  There's so many times people we love, they just walk in a room and you don't know when the last time they're going to walk in that room is. We act like they're going to keep walking in a room. My sister gave birth to twin identical boys about a year ago. Cassius and Justice, beautiful boys. And about an hour after something happened with Cassius, something wasn't good. And the doctors came in and grabbed him. And about an hour later, they came back in and told us that he had passed. And in fact, my sister named the twin that survived Justice because now it's just us. We don't know how much time we have. Cassius got one hour.

• 50:49Speaker 01

  We all act like we're going to get around to being happier. I'll get around to telling my dad how much I love him. I'm going to get around to calling Mel and just saying, hey, are you okay? I'll get around to it. I'll get around to giving myself some joy. I'll get around to having some peace. I'll get around to making that one memory in my life. I'll get around to it. Until you don't, you don't know when the last time someone's going to walk in a room that you love. You don't know when the last time is the last time. I should have just given myself the gift of fully enjoying it. Like this is awesome, isn't it? Let's just take it all in, not like, where do I got to go next? Well, what about this? You know what I'm saying? Just enjoy these moments. None of them that cost any money. None of the good ones have cost money. It doesn't cost any money when my mom walks in a room.

• 51:35Speaker 01

  It doesn't cost any money to just have a great conversation with God alone. It costs nothing. And yet I'm waiting around to getting around, aren't we, in our life?

• 51:45Speaker 00

  Well, you're not anymore.

• 51:46Speaker 01

  I'm not anymore. Do it now. Do it now. Don't act like you've got forever, like right now, take some action on something we've talked about today, like now, like now, a small one, take a step, get some progress, move the car a little bit. I can't teach you to drive a parked car. Get moving, just do something.

• 52:05Speaker 00

  You gave the most powerful tool on the planet. And I want to make sure that as you're listening to Ed, that you really grab this and you start to use it. When you double down on your good intentions, it doesn't mean you're always going to get it right. It doesn't mean you're going to succeed. It doesn't mean you won't inadvertently hurt people or piss them off because you don't do what they expect. But if you know your intentions and you know they're anchored in your values and doing the best that you can and trying to be a good person, that is the single best and most powerful way to start to build confidence in yourself.

• 52:47Speaker 00

  And I, I have gotten to a point in my life where I used to be crippled by criticism or crippled by what people might think, or crippled by public perception, or crippled by what are my friends going to? And really knowing myself and my intentions has allowed me to move through life in a way where I know who I am and I'm proud of myself and I know why I'm doing what I do. And if people criticize me, they clearly don't know my intentions.

• 53:18Speaker 01

  And that's the one thing, that's why I think a lot of people make a little bit of progress and then the criticism comes and they're like, okay, I'll shrink my dream, I'll shrink myself back to your small thinking.

• 53:28Speaker 00

  Yes. This goes to the thermostat. You start to feel the pressure from, are you sure you want to like not drink? Are you sure you want to work on that business this weekend? You sure you want to go for that run instead of just hanging here with me and watching the game?

• 53:38Speaker 01

  Exactly. Yeah, who do you think you are?

• 53:40Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 53:40Speaker 01

  Like, oh, all of a sudden you're happy. Oh, now you're the fitness expert, huh? And at some point in a great life, you decide, I will not shrink myself for your acceptance. Because this life isn't about your acceptance. It's my own acceptance. It's God's acceptance. You know the number one impact on your thermostat setting? Associations. If your five best friends eat really clean, you know, drink a bunch of water, take a walk every day, do some stretching, if that were the five people you were around, you're probably going to be a little bit more fit, right? So, so the number one thing that dials that thermostat down is who you're around. And so if you have to be around these people that don't serve you, you have to find a way that your self-worth is not connected to their approval. And it's a biggie.

• 54:20Speaker 00

  It's like a snake shedding a skin. That's why it feels really awful to step into a new chapter of your life because there are parts of you that you're shedding. So I want to go back to intention because the more you know thyself and you know your intentions and you know the background and you know what you've put into it and you know why you're doing something, you're the only person's opinion that actually matters.

• 54:45Speaker 01

  I love the way you just said that. That's the crazy thing. It's so true.

• 54:49Speaker 00

  If you were to, you know, and the millions of people that you've coached and inspired and the mega bestseller that you've written, if you could recommend one habit that really has that domino effect for somebody, if they're listening to you and they're like, okay, you're right, Ed.

• 55:05Speaker 01

  For me?

• 55:05Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 55:06Speaker 01

  It's moving my body early in the day.

• 55:07Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 55:08Speaker 01

  It's just a really simple thing. When I move my body early in the day, that is a catalyst habit for me because I don't like to do it. I've lifted weights for 35 years. I've enjoyed maybe seven of those days. But I've enjoyed walking out of the gym when I'm done, almost every single time, once I've accomplished it. So to me, why does that matter? It's one of the few areas of my life I can control. I can't control whether someone shows up for the meeting. I can't control whether we close a sale. I can't control how somebody feels about something. I can't control, I can control that I got up and I moved my body. It gives me energy. It also says to me, I'm willing to do something most people aren't willing to do. So maybe I'm going to get things most people aren't going to get. So my catalyst habit is that.

• 55:52Speaker 01

  My new one, I'll give you my new one. My new one is writing. I don't like to write. I'm not a good writer and I used to use that as an excuse. I'm not good at this. I'm not good at this. People use it as an excuse. So what? I have to get good at it. Because guess what happens when I write? It's a form of self-expression. I get things on paper that tell me, hey, what you're doing, that worry you have is completely dumb and you're wasting time on, it's not real. But it's also like in our industry, because I've got better at writing, it stimulated more prayer. It stimulated more thinking of content, of things I can share on shows, things I can put in books. But that moment of peace with my, my cup of coffee in front of me and I just write, and it's become for me like a great cathartic form of expression, of me just getting out

• 56:37Speaker 01

  of my head and onto this piece of paper.

• 56:39Speaker 00

  How does writing create peace in your mind?

• 56:43Speaker 01

  Okay, I'll tell you for me.

• 56:44Speaker 00

  And I want you to put me at the scene.

• 56:45Speaker 01

  I'm just candidly, I get up and I get out of my bed and I get on my knees. And I get on my knees and it's usually between 30 seconds and three minutes and it's just some prayer time. It gives me perspective. So I do that. And then for me, I go do my workout first because it's a thing I don't want to do the most in the world. And then I get my cup of coffee and I sit down and I sit in the same spot. By the way, I think that spot, after you do it for a while, becomes a trigger, becomes an anchor to a particular state of mind. So I do sit in the same spot and I have my cup of coffee and I begin to write. It's usually about 30 minutes. And my thing is I have to write within one minute. I have to put something on that paper. Some mornings it's a worry that I have, but it's going to be on that paper within a minute. And I do do this now, I can honestly say, every day.

• 57:29Speaker 00

  How has it changed your mindset and worry and anxiety like this anchor practice?

• 57:33Speaker 01

  It's a great release for me and I actually just write to one person. So different days I pick different people. Some days I may be writing to me in my current state of life. Some days I'm writing to young me. Some days I'm writing to my children. I'm into this new thing where I observe people and I'm in love with a particular person that I can't take my eyes off of. And it started about four years ago. I had a flight canceled and I was stuck in a delay in the airport. My eye caught this woman, I probably can't get through this without telling you this, but I write to her a lot. I noticed her and she, she was wheeling a trash can around. And she was picking up the trash around the airport and going in and cleaning the bathrooms. And I watched her and I could not take my eyes off her.

• 58:17Speaker 01

  Remember, there's thousands of people walking around her. And I just started to think about her life.

• 58:25Speaker 01

  She looked to me to be in her late 60s.

• 58:29Speaker 01

  I just projected her life in my mind, but she got up that morning, probably in an apartment,

• 58:38Speaker 01

  probably by herself. And she got up in the dark because that's when she gets up. She made herself a little breakfast.

• 58:47Speaker 01

  Her big hope for the day is maybe her kids will call. Maybe her grandchildren will call her. And long ago, she had dreams in her life. And just in my mind, this man she loved left. He left. And she stayed and finished raising those kids. And all these hopes and dreams she had for her life, they didn't all come together the way she hoped. She prays every morning. She loves God. She's never hurt a soul. She got up that morning, she got in her car in the dark and she drove to a parking lot. She then has to get on a bus to get to the airport with a bunch of other people in there that maybe that day's not their dream day. No one says hello to her. No one acknowledges her.

• 59:32Speaker 01

  They give her a name badge. They assign her trash can for the day. They send her off into the airport and all day long, no one sees her. She's tired. She's weary.

• 59:47Speaker 01

  No one says hello. No one says I love you. No one says great job. Meanwhile, around her, everybody's on their way to their dream vacation. Their big business meeting. They're chasing their dreams in their life. She goes her whole day invisible. At the end of the day, she brings her trash can back, puts the name badge on, gets back in her car, drives home, and she's just hoping her kids call. She's hoping her grandbabies might call her tonight. She's gonna get up and do that again. And I thought, how resilient she is. She doesn't complain. She just gets up every day and does what she can to make her life better. So like you would do, or anybody would do, I just walked over and, you know what I found out, by the way?

• 1:00:32Speaker 01

  She's everywhere. She cleaned your hotel room this morning. She's a he today, too. He got in a truck this morning to go somewhere, to pay the bills for his family. Maybe he's not going exactly where he thought he was gonna be going 20 years ago. And he just wants his wife to be proud of him. Just wants to be his kid's hero. And he doesn't feel great about himself right now, and he wants to be happier, and he wants to... That's who I'm writing to now. I wanna tell him I love you. It's not too late. It's not over yet. You have value. You matter. You're the hero of my family, Mel, isn't my dad, who I write about all the time. It's my mom. My mom's the one, whose husband was gone many nights, and she's the one who did homework

• 1:01:17Speaker 01

  with us, and I never knew anything was wrong. She's the one who went to bed most of those nights when my dad was out somewhere, and still made us lunch for the next day, got up and made us breakfast, took us to school, made us feel safe. She got no credit for that. No credit, but she held our family together. She was the glue. A lot of these people are the glue in their family. They were the strength. They were the quiet person who held that family together the entire time. I wanna write to them. I wanna say to them, it's not over. You matter. You're a good person. Good things come from you. People say, it's too late, it's over, I didn't make it. In many people's cases, it may be a little bit from now before anybody really appreciates what you've done, but at some point, I promise you, the people that love you...

• 1:02:01Speaker 01

  It took me a long time to figure out, my dad's not the hero of our family, it's my mom. She didn't make any of the mistakes. She didn't make any of the noise. She just loved us. She just served us every day quietly and got no credit. These are the heroes. These are the people that I wanna write to, to give hope to, to give the tools to. And just to say, hey, I see you. You're not invisible. It's not too late. You're not disqualified. You're immensely qualified, and you're changing people's lives probably more often every day than you realize. And you don't earn your way into heaven. You just gotta get there, whatever you believe about that. But you are in the line of people waiting to thank you when you get there. And people like my mom, and like Griselda, that was her name, there's a long line of

• 1:02:45Speaker 01

  people that'll be thanking them someday. So I wanna write to them. I picture her a lot when I write.

• 1:02:49Speaker 00

  What are you saying to her, or to him, the guy driving the truck? What do you say to the person who's listening that really resonates with that? Because I could see myself in scenes of my own life. I could see my parents, I could see my grandparents. Like, I often look at people, when you're at a stoplight, and I wonder, where are they driving?

• 1:03:09Speaker 01

  So do I.

• 1:03:10Speaker 00

  What job are they going to? What are they thinking about right now? Like, what struggles do they have? What dreams have they given up on? What do you say to people?

• 1:03:17Speaker 01

  I do too, Mel. It's caused me to really see people. First off, the great gift of it is, with everybody I'm with, I think I spend a little longer seeing them, and a little less trying to make an impression on them. I used to walk in a room and go, here I am. Now I tend to walk in a room and go, there you are. And what I write to them is that you're making a bigger difference in the world than you give yourself credit for. And like my mom, that's who I am. Like, if there is goodness in me, that good me, I got from her. I caught that. She never taught it. She never got on a soapbox and said...

• 1:04:01Speaker 01

  I just watched it every day. And I think so many of these people in life need to know, one, it's not too late, and there is a dream and a memory in your life coming, and you deserve it. And what we have to do is to get you to love yourself without conditions, so that we can change that thermostat setting. And the more that I can write to them and say, just so you know, what you're doing is the most important thing, which is helping the people you love the most. What a world-class father you are. What a world-class mother you are. Those are the most important things in life, and from there, you can build something great. We have to change this.

• 1:04:41Speaker 01

  What happens with these folks that we love so much, is their self-love is all, it becomes conditional. And unless they're achieving, unless they're growing, they don't give themselves the gift of the grace of loving themselves like they should have. I can't believe we've gone this deep today, by the way, so many times. And I want them to know that the chance for you in your life to make a difference in your life is to acknowledge the good things you've already done, and to stop highlighting all the time. The highlight reel of your life is not your mistakes, it's not your setbacks, it's not who left, it's not who betrayed you. It's the fact that you're still standing after they did. This thing you're carrying with you is what makes you special. You're still standing. And the fact that it's been so difficult, and you've carried it with such grace, with

• 1:05:24Speaker 01

  such honor, you didn't return the favor, you didn't return the betrayal, you didn't return the hurt. You just got up every day and did what you needed to do, and that makes you incredible. And it's not too late. We can build from that place that you're at right now, if you'll acknowledge it. And I wanna write to them. That's all I really wanna write to now.

• 1:05:43Speaker 00

  You know, Ed, I not only think you're a good man, I think you're a world-class human.

• 1:05:50Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 1:05:51Speaker 00

  Who is changing the world for the better.

• 1:05:52Speaker 01

  Oh, thank you.

• 1:05:53Speaker 00

  And I'm proud to be your friend.

• 1:05:54Speaker 01

  I love you, I'm proud of you. Thank you.

• 1:05:57Speaker 00

  What are your parting words?

• 1:05:59Speaker 01

  I just wanna remind you that you were born to do something great with your life. You were. When I was a little guy, my grandfather would pick me up, I remember my dad's missing, my grandfather would pick me up, and he had this blue van. And my grandfather worked for the Boston Globe, he was a pressman, okay? And so he would pick me up on Sundays, and we'd go get donuts and pick them up from my other cousins, but I was the oldest cousin. So anyway, he'd pick me up, we're driving in the van, and I would just look at Papa, this big guy. And he would look down at me when he was driving, he'd go, Eddie. I go, yeah, big Papa? He goes, you're gonna do something great with your life. And I go, I am, big Papa? He goes, oh, you're gonna do something awesome. You're my favorite. You're my favorite.

• 1:06:43Speaker 01

  And every time one of my cousins was born, he'd call me, he goes, oh, hey, cousin Peter was born. And I'd start to feel kinda jealous, and he'd go, hey, don't tell anybody. I go, what, Papa? He goes, you're my favorite. And I say that to you because, if you had anybody in your life when you were a child who believed in you, anybody, your mom, your dad, a grandparent, a coach, whatever, they just looked at you. Remember them? You just felt special. You felt safe when you were with them. Remember that person? Most of you have that person in your life. My final message to you is that they were right. Maybe everybody else missed it, but they were right. They were right about you. And my challenge to you would be, make them proud of you.

• 1:07:28Speaker 01

  Make them proud of you. If they're still here, you still have time to show them. If they're gone, honor them with the person you're becoming, every day with the choices you make. Make them proud of your resilience, make them proud of your toughness. And if you never had that person, I apply for the position. And I can promise you, whatever your faith beliefs are, God looks at you with so much pride, so much joy, so much belief, so much love. And there's time left for you. There's time still left on the clock, and all these mistakes, all these setbacks, all these hurts, all the pain, all of those things were qualifying you to do something great

• 1:08:10Speaker 01

  because you are most qualified to help that person you used to be. And there's somebody, somewhere, who needs you so badly. Start looking for them. You're one person, one decision, away from totally changing your life. So start looking for it.

• 1:08:27Speaker 00

  Ed Mylett, I love you.

• 1:08:29Speaker 01

  I love you.

• 1:08:30Speaker 00

  I absolutely love you. I am so proud of you, and I knew you as max out, Ed. I knew you pre-heart attack, and I gotta say, this is the best you ever.

• 1:08:45Speaker 01

  Wow, thank you. Wow. That means a lot coming from you, Mel, so thank you.

• 1:08:49Speaker 00

  No, I mean, like, I always felt the oozing goodness coming out of you, but there is this expanded capacity and depth, and way that you're showing up that is absolutely incredible.

• 1:09:05Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 1:09:06Speaker 00

  Life-changing.

• 1:09:07Speaker 01

  Thank you. I am here to help you help people, and that means the world to me coming from you. There's very few people, like we've both said, whose opinions matter, and yours matters very deeply to me. Thank you, I will tell you.

• 1:09:20Speaker 00

  I'll listen.

• 1:09:21Speaker 01

  Thank you so much. I loved today, succeeded my expectations, so thank you.

• 1:09:24Speaker 00

  Well, we went deep because that's the kind of friends we are.

• 1:09:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, thank you.

• 1:09:30Speaker 00

  And I also wanna thank you. Thank you for making the time and spending it with me and Ed. Isn't he just a treasure? I hope you will share this with people in your life that you love, and you're gonna do something great with your life. And I know you are, because you're gonna take everything that Ed poured into you to heart, and you are gonna use the tools, and you are going to continue to remind yourself that you're a good person, and good things are gonna happen because you're gonna make them happen. And in case nobody else tells you today as your friend, I wanted to be sure to tell you that I love you, and I believe in you, and I believe in your ability to create a better life, and there is no doubt in my mind that everything that Ed shared with you was exactly what you were meant to hear at this exact moment in your life.

• 1:10:13Speaker 00

  So please, just honor it as a blessing that was given to you. Alrighty, I'll see you in the very next episode. I'll welcome you in the moment you hit play.

• 1:10:25Speaker 02

  Three words, life, force, energy?

• 1:10:27Speaker 00

  Yes, baby!

• 1:10:29Speaker 01

  I love it. I'm giddy.

• 1:10:31Speaker 00

  I'm giddy, too.

• 1:10:32Speaker 01

  This is gonna be good. I'm so glad we're doing this.

• 1:10:34Speaker 00

  I am so glad we're doing this.

• 1:10:36Speaker 01

  I moved it.

• 1:10:36Speaker 00

  He's a fidgeter. I'm just gonna warn you.

• 1:10:38Speaker 01

  Sorry.

• 1:10:39Speaker 00

  You might have to push it away from him, so he doesn't... This is one of the most profound and important episodes that we've done.

• 1:10:47Speaker 01

  Good.

• 1:10:51Speaker 00

  Oh, and one more thing. And no, this is not a blooper. This is the legal language. You know what the lawyers write and what I need to read to you. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I'll see you in the next episode.

• 1:11:25Speaker 03

  Sirius XM Podcasts.

• 1:11:33Speaker 00

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• 1:12:56Speaker 00

  also means learning to love each other's eccentric friends, family, and even exes. Friday on NBC. Can you believe the holidays are right around the corner? Well, Home Depot is ready. Upgrade your yard with this season's hottest decor. My brother always just slays at this. He's got the show-stopping Towering Santa and his impressive reindeer, both eight and a half feet tall and designed with incredible detail. Create a holiday display that becomes the neighborhood favorite. Make your home Santa's favorite stop with the holiday decor you want, all waiting for you at the Home Depot.