8 Simple Reminders You Need to Hear Right Now

Today, you’re getting exactly what you need to take back your power and make life feel a little easier. In this solo episode, Mel shares 8 simple reminders that will help you feel stronger, calmer, and more confident. These are the words to come back to when you need courage, perspective, and a reminder of how much strength you already have. Through 8 powerful quotes and straight-to-the-point coaching, Mel will show you how to stop taking other people’s behavior personally, pause before you react, protect your peace, take responsibility for your own happiness, and make something good happen today. This episode will help you: -Stop taking other people’s behavior personally and let their mood be theirs -Stop treating every text, mood, comment, or request like an emergency -Pause before reacting and ask yourself, “Is this worth my energy?” -Quit waiting until you feel better, ready, healed, or confident to start living -Slow down and appreciate the life you’re living right now before this season passes you by -Take responsibility for your own happiness, choices, attitude, and next step -Stop wishing you could change the past and focus on what happens next -Create a good day by making one small good thing happen These reminders are more than words. They are tools you can reach for the moment your brain gets loud, your stress spikes, or someone else’s drama starts pulling you off center. If you’ve been giving your energy away to things that don’t deserve it, this episode will help you pause, take your power back, and choose your next move with more strength, courage, and confidence. For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page: https://www.melrobbins.com/episode/episode-412/ Follow The Mel Robbins Podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themelrobbinspodcast I’m just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I’ll see you in the next episode. In this episode: 00:00 Intro 01:59 What To Do When Life Overwhelms You 04:18 The Secret to Enjoying Life More 13:35 How to Protect Your Energy 20:57 The One Boundary You Need 27:16 The Fastest Way to Feel Better 34:18 How To Build The Life You Want 41:01 Why You're Never Truly Stuck 45:06 What Let Them Really Means 50:58 The Simple Secret to a Good Life 55:46 Your Reminder Cheat Sheet Stream The Five Star Weekend only on Peacock. Visit https://peacocktv.app.link/tl8ockxmk3b for more. Marshalls: Shop online now or find a store near you. — Follow Mel: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@melrobbins Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melrobbins Website: http://melrobbins.com​ — Sign up for Mel’s newsletter: https://melrob.co/sign-up-newsletter A note from Mel to you, twice a week, sharing simple, practical ways to build the life you want. — Subscribe to Mel’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins​?sub_confirmation=1 — Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast 🎧 New episodes drop every Monday & Thursday! https://melrob.co/spotify https://melrob.co/applepodcasts https://melrob.co/amazonmusic — Looking for Mel’s books on Amazon? Find them here: The Let Them Theory: https://amzn.to/3IQ21Oe The Let Them Theory Audiobook: https://amzn.to/413SObp The High 5 Habit: https://amzn.to/3fMvfPQ The 5 Second Rule: https://amzn.to/4l54fah

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Mel Robbins?

  Hey, it's your friend Mel and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast.

• 0:09Mel Robbins?

  Hey, it's Mel. I am so happy that you're here with me today. And here's why. I know by the time that you're done listening and we're done spending time together, you're just gonna feel a lot better. And I can say that because there is a particular word that I keep seeing in the emails that your fellow listeners are sending. I see this in the polls that we do online on social media. I'm seeing it in comments. And that word that I keep seeing, exhaustion. You've been caring too much, thinking too much, worrying too much, and you're tired. The kind of tiredness that comes from taking care of everyone else while trying to be okay for everyone. Trying to stay on top of everything, trying to fix what you can't

• 0:52Mel Robbins?

  fix, and holding yourself to some invisible standard like you're supposed to have it all handled. Let me share a lesson with you that I personally have to keep on relearning. You don't have to earn rest. You don't have to earn peace. These are not luxury items. You don't have to have everything figured out to take better care of yourself. Sometimes you just need a simple reminder. So today, I have eight simple reminders for you. Now, these are eight simple things I say to myself all the time. Eight simple reminders that will hold you up when your mind starts spinning. Words that will calm you down. And you're

• 1:35Mel Robbins?

  gonna love this, because it's almost like I knew this, I just needed to be reminded that one small next step, just that little thing, can make me feel like, okay, okay, I can do today. Because the fact is, you can do today. And with these eight simple reminders, holy cow, you're not only gonna do today, you're gonna feel so much better by the end of it.

• 2:13Mel Robbins?

  Hey, it's your friend Mel and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. I am so excited that you're here with me today. It's such an honor to be together and to spend this time with you. If you're a new listener, or you're here because somebody shared this particular episode with you, I just want to take a moment and personally welcome you to the Mel Robbins Podcast family. Today, I'm sharing eight simple reminders that make life easier. These are eight quotes that I've shared online. These are eight reminders that I repeat to myself. But when I shared them online recently, you loved them so much. It was like, heart, heart, heart, heart, heart, share, share, share, share, share, save, save, save, save, save, comment, comment, comment. So here's what I thought. I thought,

• 2:54Mel Robbins?

  I think I should take these eight reminders that I love and that you clearly love, and just take a moment and break them down one by one. Because these eight reminders are the kind of things that you can come back to when your brain is loud, when life feels heavy, when you just need someone to say something that's gonna make you feel a little bit better. Because let me tell you something. The world is not designed to keep you calm. Oh, uh, uh, uh, uh. The world is designed to do something different. It's designed to keep you going, to react, to scroll, compare, overthink, to take everything personally,

• 3:36Mel Robbins?

  to give your energy away all day long. And if that's been you lately, welcome. I feel like that's been all of us lately. And I want you to know that by hitting play on this episode, you are in the exact right place. Because stress has been running you into the ground lately, and it's exhausting you. So today, you and I are going to interrupt that spiral. And as I share these eight reminders, here's what's gonna happen. You're gonna start to feel the weight lift. You're gonna start to feel like, okay, I can handle today. I am capable of facing what I'm dealing with in my life. And this is gonna happen whether you're listening on a walk, or you're driving to work, or maybe you're hiding in the bathroom

• 4:21Mel Robbins?

  for five minutes of quiet, or you're laying in bed, wondering why you feel so exhausted. You can just let all that go. I got you, okay? Your friend Mel Robbins has got you. All right, let's jump in and start with reminder number one. Twenty years from now, you'd give anything to be this exact age, this healthy, and back in this exact moment. Take a second and enjoy it now. I love this quote. It's from writer Rich Webster. And one of the reasons why I love this quote is it's so easy to get caught up in the stress

• 5:02Mel Robbins?

  of your day-to-day life, that you don't slow down and drop in the moment and consider two really important things. That every single thing that you're gonna do today is something that your 95-year-old self will wish that they could go back and do. You know, you and I don't stop and consider that the moment that we're in right now, like even if it's difficult, it's stressful, you're caring for people, whether it's little kids, or it's aging parents, there are aspects of your life right now that were once a goal or a dream. Now, stop and think about this. There was a period in your life where you didn't have a job, and boy, did you wish you had a job. There are periods of in your

• 5:47Mel Robbins?

  life where you were single, and you wished that you were in a relationship, even though that person may be pissing you off right now. There was a period in your life where you didn't have kids, and boy, did you want them. But, oh my gosh, is it stressful? They're not sleeping through the night, or maybe they're really struggling, and that's causing you a lot of stress right now. But you forget that, holy cow, this moment right now, my past self, my 10-year-old self, my 20-year-old self, my 30-year-old self, dreamt about some of the things that are stressing me out right now. Or, wow, the things that I'm complaining about? My 95-year-old self wishes they could come back to this moment, no matter

• 6:31Mel Robbins?

  how stressful it is, and be able to do it, and experience it, and be with the people that I'm around right now? Because when I get to 95, they're not gonna be there? And so I need to like, slow down a little bit? And instead of focusing on all the things that are driving me crazy, and stressing me out, and are out of my control, what about dropping into this moment and just taking a beat and appreciating it? Because so often in life, isn't it true, you get so caught up in what's next, the job you want next, the decision that you need to make, the next version of you that you need to become, that

• 7:09Mel Robbins?

  you are living out there while you're in this moment criticizing where you are. And we live as if we've got this unlimited amount of time. We don't. And I'm not saying that to scare you. I'm saying because it's the kind of truth that can both slow you down and wake you up. I often use this example, that your life and the time that you have, it's like a melting ice cube. You don't notice an ice cube that is just sitting on the kitchen counter, melting as time passes. You're answering texts, you're paying your bills, you're running errands, you're managing everybody and everything, you're trying to get through the week, you're thinking about what to make to dinner, you're beating yourself up for

• 7:54Mel Robbins?

  not exercising enough today, and then all of a sudden, you look up and you're like, wait, where'd the time go? And that's the thing about time. You can't bargain with it. You can't get it back. You can't pause time. You can't negotiate for more. I mean, the time is gonna pass regardless of what you do with it. And if you're busy racing through your life, you're gonna miss a lot of it. The ice cube is melting, whether you pay attention to it or not. And the point of this reminder isn't to panic you. The point is presence. It's to stop living as if everything's an emergency. That life is about just getting to the next thing. Because that's not what life is about. Life is about

• 8:39Mel Robbins?

  being where your feet are, so you don't miss the things that are in front of you. Because if you don't slow down, you're gonna miss the season that you're in right now. You're gonna miss this version of your friends, this version of your kids, of your parents, of your life. And so, the reminder, take a second and enjoy it now. It's not asking you to force this like, fake gratitude, or pretend everything's okay, when you're living in the middle of a dumpster fire. It's asking you to build this skill that in the midst

• 9:16Mel Robbins?

  of all the chaos, can you still stop and see the good? Yes, you're exhausted. Yes, you're stressed. Yes, you're annoyed that nobody else fed the dog. But as you're sitting there feeding the dog, can you take a beat? Can you turn and look at the dog and just appreciate that you have a dog? The one that the 95-year-old version of you misses? And the 16-year-old version of you always dreamt of having? Because if you can't drop into the present moment and appreciate the little things that are all around you, you're

• 9:55Mel Robbins?

  gonna allow stupid things to steal the precious moments of your life. You're gonna have an experience where time just keeps on passing, and that ice cube is a puddle of water. And you don't even know what you spent the time on. Stop turning a perfectly good day into a mental courtroom where you're prosecuting yourself, you're analyzing what went wrong, you're so focused on what you didn't do, and the things that you didn't get to, and the stuff that you wish you had done differently, that you miss. Miss all the things that you did do. All the little just miracles and beautiful things around you. You gotta stop

• 10:40Mel Robbins?

  being so busy managing life and everything around you that you forget. The point is to live it. So here's what I want you to do today. For just a couple seconds, wherever you are right now, I want you to just look around.

• 10:58Mel Robbins?

  Or stop and think, what are three things that are going well? Not amazing, not perfect, not an A plus, plus, plus, plus, plus. Just, they're going well today. Here, I'm gonna give you a couple of examples, okay? Here's something that's going well for me. I'm drinking my water today.

• 11:20Mel Robbins?

  You can even hear me do it. Mel, good job. That's going well. I went for a walk this morning with my husband and the dogs. I'm not trying to rub that in. I'm just saying that, you know, I got out the door and I did that. I'm not where I want to be yet, but I'm working every day on getting there. That, that means things are going okay. You don't have to land the new job in order to say, well, the fact that I'm actually looking for one and I've updated my resume, like, that's a good thing. I'm making it through today. And today's a very difficult day and I'm still showing up. In fact, I showed up even though I don't feel like it. That's something that I would check in that that went well today.

• 12:02Mel Robbins?

  I handled that hard thing that I didn't actually want to do, but I did it. That's in the, I did that well box. I'm safe. At this exact moment, I'm safe. I got out of bed. I got out of bed. I would actually put that one on my list today because I woke up today and I was exhausted like you, and I thought, boy, you know what? Today would be great, be great if I could cancel today. Be just great if I could call in sick today. And then I was like, oh, wait, I can't. I'm the CEO, I can't call in sick. Ah, I gotta, I gotta show up today. People are counting on me. You know those days. So on those days where you get out of bed and you show up, you're doing really well.

• 12:45Mel Robbins?

  And I know it sounds simple, but when you intentionally make yourself call out the things in this moment that are going well, or that the younger you once had this life as a goal or a dream, or the 95-year-old you can look back and say, wow, I'd give anything to be back in that day and experience that, even if it was difficult. This is how you can enjoy the now, not by fixing everything, but by noticing what you're in. And so I'm going to share this reminder one more time for you.

• 13:24Mel Robbins?

  20 years from now, you'd give anything to be this exact age, this healthy, and back in this exact moment. Take a second today and enjoy it now. And you know, one thing that can get in the way of you enjoying the now is wasting your energy on the wrong people or the wrong things. And that brings me to the second reminder that I want to share with you today that you loved when I posted online, and I repeat to myself all the time, so let me share it with you. Here's an underrated life skill. Before you react, pause and decide if it's worth your energy.

• 14:10Mel Robbins?

  That reminder is inspired by writer Corey Allen. And here's what I want to share with you.

• 14:18Mel Robbins?

  You're not overwhelmed right now because you can't handle life. You're overwhelmed because you do handle it, all of it, all of the time. That's why you need to learn to pause. Learning how to pause is a skill. And what's happening in today's world, I don't know if you've noticed this, is that when you just do, do, do, do, do, and you're not ever pausing, life has a funny way of turning up the volume and the speed at which life comes at you. And so you just end up not doing it all. You do it all and then some, and more, and more, and more, and more.

• 15:02Mel Robbins?

  And then suddenly, everything feels like an emergency. This is why you have to learn to pause. Because if you don't learn how to pause, you will never understand a truth that you always have a choice about what you are going to put your time and energy into. So here's how you can start to practice this life-changing skill of just pause. Let me just tap the pause button here right now. Anytime something starts to pull you in, okay? It might be a comment somebody makes, a request at work, an annoying situation with a friend, a text that just kind of triggers you the wrong way, social media where you start kind

• 15:44Mel Robbins?

  of catching yourself, I want you to pause and then ask yourself a simple question. Is this worth my energy? And let me give you all kinds of things that I'm talking about because this is where you and I leak our energy out all day long. Okay? Here's an example. Let's say you get a text from somebody that just says, okay, fine. And your brain, does it do what my brain does? Where you're like, and you start like writing an entire screenplay about what you did wrong or what they're thinking or ba, ba, ba, ba, ba. And then if you're like me, you want to like smooth it over and something, okay, is this worth their time? Here's another example.

• 16:29Mel Robbins?

  Your boss slacks you at 9:17 PM. Can you meet tomorrow morning first thing?

• 16:37Mel Robbins?

  Okay, when that happens, my brain is like a gopher popping up from a hole. Hold on, meet tomorrow morning first thing? You think I'm relaxing for the rest of the night?

• 16:49Mel Robbins?

  Is this worth your energy? Or you're in the kitchen and someone in your family, oh my God, is in the mood. Okay, who in your family, I want you to stop and think right now, who in your family, when they get in that mood, oh my God, it's like your body goes into an age shrinking machine and like, and all of a sudden you're seven and you immediately start to manage it. Oh, somebody's upset, somebody's intense, somebody's pouting, somebody's this. Is a grown adult's mood worth your energy? It's, it's a fair question, right? Or how about when you're at work, right? And someone gives you a look. You're in a meeting, you said something, you get that weird look, everybody's kind

• 17:32Mel Robbins?

  of like just frozen as they look at you, weird silence, somebody please talk, oh my God, I hate these moments at work. See, I don't think it's the big things that drain you. See, when you got big stuff going on, let it drain. Because the big things, boy, they open up the portal, let the energy drop out because you got to manage that stuff. That is 100% what happens in life. No. What you and I are talking about are the constant tiny little moments where you hand your energy away without even noticing it. Anytime you feel that pull, that friction, that urge to react, to fix, to explain, to prove, to defend, to spiral to people, please. New skill, pause, pause.

• 18:16Mel Robbins?

  Instead of projecting, instead of reacting, instead of fixing, nope.

• 18:23Mel Robbins?

  Pause. Is this worth my energy?

• 18:31Mel Robbins?

  Is this worth my energy right now? Based on everything that I have going on that's important to me? Is this little side circus worth my energy? If the answer's no, amazing. Don't explain, don't debate, don't question, don't justify, just disengage. That's it. Because peace is not something that you find. Peace is something that you protect. And oftentimes, do you know who you have to protect yourself from? You. And your habit of inserting yourself, your habit of fixing everything, your habit of

• 19:14Mel Robbins?

  making sure that everybody around you is okay. And in constantly making it your job to fix everything for everybody else, you're the one that ends up feeling broken. I know you've heard that old saying, you can't pour from an empty cup. So what you pour your energy into, whether it be people or activities, they have to give you something back in return. It has to pour back into you. See, if you spend too much time reacting to things or fixing things or doing things for and with people that don't pour back into you, you know what you end up with? Exhaustion, you're drained, you feel defeated about life. But it doesn't have to be that way.

• 19:59Mel Robbins?

  All you gotta do is pause and ask yourself, is this worth my energy right now? And that brings me to reminder number three. Because reminder number three is going to save you so much energy too. Learning how to take nothing personally will change your life. Because most of what people do, it has nothing to do with you. Let their mood be theirs. Your life is yours. That's where you take your power back. See, one of the biggest ways to lose your peace of mind is to give someone else yours. The person that you see or you experience who's standing before you right now, that's not the person you're dealing with.

• 20:44Mel Robbins?

  You're dealing with their childhood crap. You're dealing with whatever just happened at work. You're dealing with whether or not they ate anything, whether or not they can manage stress, whatever it is that's on their mind. That's why you're picking up on a tone. That's why you feel like you have to manage their mood, because they seem like they got it together, but then they're acting so weird. That's why you gotta learn to just let people deal with themselves. It doesn't mean that you don't have compassion. It doesn't mean that you don't care about people. It means that you recognize that there's a very important boundary between you and other adults. You are not responsible for managing other people's moods. You're not responsible for managing other people's expectations.

• 21:28Mel Robbins?

  There's one person that you're responsible for, and it's you. When you learn how to give people the dignity of their own experience, when you allow people the space to be in a bad mood and to process their emotions, yes, you're standing by with support. It's one of the healthiest boundaries that you can draw for yourself with other people, because it means you're no longer going through life acting like the parent to every adult around you. And when other people don't like your boundary, when you're letting them be in a bad mood, when you stop fixing everybody else's problems, when you stop bending yourself in knots and twisting yourself into all kinds of uncomfortable positions just to make everybody else happy,

• 22:13Mel Robbins?

  when you start drawing that boundary and you just kind of let people deal with themselves, and they don't like it, it doesn't mean the boundary's wrong. It means it's working. See, people don't like it when you start changing. That's okay. Let them. You gotta focus on the let me part. Let me manage myself. Let their mood be theirs. My mood is mine. Let their life be their life to fix. Let me focus on my life and the things that I need to fix. That's you turning the volume down on that alarm that goes off when other people are upset, and it helps you come back to reality. What is their responsibility to manage?

• 22:57Mel Robbins?

  What is your responsibility to manage? Because here's the thing. Most of what people do and how they feel and what they say has almost nothing to do with you. And it's a hard concept to wrap your mind around. But let's just unpack what that means. Most of what people do, feel, and say has to do with the kind of day they're having, what they believe about themselves, what they may be stressed about, what they're afraid of, what they learned or didn't learn growing up, how emotionally immature they may be. They may be dealing with something that just happened over email or in a phone call that they haven't shared with you and you're not even aware of.

• 23:42Mel Robbins?

  So here's what I want you to start practicing. When someone comes at you with an attitude, when someone's energy is off, when a text feels weird, when you catch yourself spiraling, when you start feeling like you've got to become the police or the parents to grown adults, I want you to say to yourself, out loud if you can, "Let their mood be theirs." And then you say, "My life is mine." Let them deal with themselves. Let me protect myself from this. See, you can care about people without absorbing their problems. You can have compassion that somebody is in a bad mood

• 24:25Mel Robbins?

  or feeling disappointed or sad or low or whatever, without making it your job to fix it. You can be compassionate without becoming someone else's emotional dumping ground. And you can also be a supportive listener without becoming a sponge and absorbing what everybody is expressing or sharing with you. And I'm gonna say something that will change how you move through the world. Other people's emotions are information. That's it. They are not instructions that you have to follow. If somebody is disappointed,

• 25:08Mel Robbins?

  it doesn't mean you did something wrong. If someone's angry, it doesn't mean you need to suddenly fix everything and make them happy. If someone is cold, it doesn't mean you're unlovable or that you have to somehow warm them up. It's not your job to parent or fix other adults. It's your job to let them have the dignity of their own experience and the space to process their emotions. And then you get to decide, what do you want to do? What support do you want to provide or not? And what do you need to protect yourself from? It's the best boundary in the world. But here's the thing that I've noticed.

• 25:52Mel Robbins?

  Even when you teach yourself how to stop taking everything personally or become the fixer of everybody's problems, even when you learn how to hit the pause and protect your energy by asking yourself, "Okay, is this worth my energy? No, it is not worth my energy." You still are probably exhausting yourself waiting for the right time. Waiting to feel confident. Waiting to feel ready. Waiting to feel less anxious. Waiting to feel like you're back to normal. Waiting for the perfect time. And that's why this fourth reminder is so important right now. And that also means you don't want to go anywhere, because I'm gonna hit the pause button. We've been talking about taking a pause, so I can give our amazing sponsors

• 26:35Mel Robbins?

  a chance to share a few words. But don't you dare go anywhere, because when I share reminder number four, you're gonna be like, "Mel Robbins, how did you know that was exactly what I needed to hear today?" And I guarantee you, there is a person in your life right now who is going to have the same reaction if you share this episode with them. You don't need to do an explanation. You can just say, "Hey, there's something in this episode that made me think of you." Thanks for doing that. Don't go anywhere. I cannot wait to share reminder number four with you when we return. So stay with me.

• 27:19Mel Robbins?

  Welcome back. It's your friend, Mel Robbins. I'm so thrilled that you're here. I love this topic. I'm sharing eight simple reminders that really lift the stress, that give you a little power, that make you feel better. We've already covered the first three, so let's jump right in to reminder number four. And you're gonna love this one. If you wait until you feel better to start living your life, you will be waiting forever. Go live your life today. If you're sad, do it sad. If you're anxious, do it anxious. If you're uncertain, do it uncertain. Because healing, happiness, change, it doesn't come before the experience. The experience of doing it

• 28:04Mel Robbins?

  is what makes you heal and makes you happier and makes you change. That's the secret. This is from the account Awaken One, and I absolutely love it. And here's another thing about life that I've learned the hard way. And I bet as I share this with you, you're gonna look back on your own life and go, "That is so true." Have you ever noticed that every prolonged period of your life where you have felt alone, you've been lost, uncertain, broke down, you're suffering, you're struggling, they are always followed by these periods in life where you have these massive quantum breakthroughs. You're down in the gutter.

• 28:49Mel Robbins?

  You have no idea how you're gonna get through this. And the very next chapter, oh my God. It's like the most growth, the most happiness that you've ever experienced. I mean, just stop and think about that, truth of that. Think about the most painful breakup. Think about getting fired from a job, and you're miserable, and you're lost, and you have no idea if you're ever gonna feel happy again. And it's after these periods of struggle that all of a sudden, boom, the massive breakthroughs come. See, the reason why these periods are so hard is because I think that this is where most people give up. You kind of give up hope. You think you're never gonna be happy again. And here's what I want to tell you.

• 29:33Mel Robbins?

  If you're going through a period in your life that's very challenging, the only thing you need to do right now is keep going. Keep going and trust that things are about to come together in a shocking way. A shocking way. You know, I was walking through the woods this morning, and I noticed there were so many little plants just sprouting, just forcing themselves up through the leaves and the mud shooting up through the muddy ground. And it's such a beautiful reminder that what can look like literally nothing, like the littlest little thing, is actually something powerful pushing toward the light.

• 30:18Mel Robbins?

  That's what you're doing right now, especially when you're struggling. I bet you're waiting. I bet you're waiting to feel happier. You're waiting to feel motivated. You're waiting for the storm to pass before you can step outside of it. You're waiting for the sadness to lift before you make the plans that would actually make you feel a little better. And I'm telling you, that's not how life works. You don't wait for healing and then live your life. You force yourself to live, and that's how you heal. Think about something that you're avoiding right now. I get it. There's a lot going on.

• 30:59Mel Robbins?

  You feel extraordinarily heavy and tired, exhausted, beaten down. But there is something that you're avoiding right now because you're waiting to feel better before you do it. Maybe it's getting back out there after a breakup. Maybe it's applying for a job after a layoff. Maybe it's going to the gym. Maybe it's saying yes to a dinner invite. Even though you're grieving the loss of someone you love, maybe it's starting therapy. Maybe it's just calling somebody back. See, there's this trap that you and I fall into where we say, okay, once I feel better, then I'll do it. No.

• 31:44Mel Robbins?

  Do it while you don't feel good. Do it sad. Do it anxious. Do it uncertain. Because it's the experience of doing it that makes you feel better. It's the experience that restores your confidence in yourself. It's the experience that gives you proof that yes, I can handle it. Yes, I'm sad. Yes, I'm beaten down. Yes, I'm lonely. Yes, I don't feel like doing this. But you know what? I'm going to do this because I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of waiting for the day that's not coming. And that's the irony. The day that you're waiting for starts today when you take action.

• 32:27Mel Robbins?

  You know, I just had the most fantastic conversation on this podcast with this extraordinary woman by the name of Carla Harris. Now Carla is one of the, like, capital T H E, most successful women of all time on Wall Street. And she came on this podcast. She gave us a masterclass on success in the world that we are living in today. And she said the most beautiful thing after we were done recording to our team. Here's what she said. You have to put your foot on the gas right now. It is time to accelerate. Because in the world, half of the people out there are completely distracted. The other half of the people in the world are paralyzed and exhausted. And you know what that means?

• 33:12Mel Robbins?

  It means no one is in your way. So let me tell you one more time. If you have been waiting to feel better to start living your life, you will be waiting forever. Go live your life, starting today. And here's the thing. The second you start taking the action in spite of how you feel, the action changes everything. It absolutely changes everything. And that brings me to the next reminder. No one is coming to do it for you. No one. Which is why reminder number five that you and I need to hear today is so special. In fact, I want to read it to you. It's from the Let Them Theory book. This is from page 297. Ooh, this one hits.

• 33:56Mel Robbins?

  You can have the life you've always wanted. You can be a millionaire. You can have the beautiful love story you've always dreamt of. You can build a career that challenges and fulfills you. The question is, will you let yourself do it? Because no one else can stop you. It's all on you. See, the most important part of the Let Them Theory is understanding that you are responsible for your own happiness. You're responsible for the energy you bring and how you show up. You're responsible for waking up every day and doing the work to make progress on what matters.

• 34:39Mel Robbins?

  You're responsible for defining what matters to you. You're responsible for telling the truth, even when it's really hard. You're responsible for paying for your life. Nobody owes you anything. But you? You owe yourself everything. I love that. Nobody owes you anything. But you? You owe yourself everything. And one other thing I wanted to point out is that, you know, there's this saying that you've heard me say a lot. No one is coming to save you.

• 35:23Mel Robbins?

  But no one is coming to stop you either. Isn't that interesting? No one is coming to stop you. Like, really just, like, let that sit for a minute. Who exactly is stopping you from writing the book right now? Who is stopping you from breaking up with somebody? Who exactly is stopping you from learning new skills so that you can change careers? Who is stopping you from applying to nursing school? Or putting your song on social media? Who's stopping you exactly? Because there's a lot of fear that we have of other people.

• 36:07Mel Robbins?

  But let's be honest about who's the one who's actually stopping you from doing the things that you're capable of doing. The one person that's stopping you is you. So no one's going to come and rescue you from the situation. No one's going to come and do it for you. No one's going to come and fix this. And you don't need anybody. Because the one person who is going to get it done is you. And by the way, there is also no one stopping you from doing it. All of the fear that you have of what other people are going to think and whether or not you look stupid and whether or not you fail, you know who's manufacturing that in your mind? You. And so one other thing I'm going to tell you is

• 36:48Mel Robbins?

  don't ever kill the part of you that's cringey. I want you to kill the part of you that cringes at yourself. Because you're the one that's stopping yourself. If anyone is ever going to show up and magically change your life, don't ever forget that person is always going to be you. And isn't that an amazing epiphany to have? Because the second you realize you don't need to be rescued, that is the second you stop waiting to be rescued. The moment you recognize the truth

• 37:29Mel Robbins?

  that no one is going to just spoon-feed you motivation, nobody's going to hand you self-respect or do the healing for you, you realize you're free. You freed yourself of this awful burden of waiting. And it sounds harsh until you realize what it actually gives you. Control. Control over your life, over your decisions, over the actions you take, over the time that you're spending. The second you stop expecting other people to make you happy or pay for your life, you stop living disappointed and you start living on purpose.

• 38:12Mel Robbins?

  And living on purpose means you stop playing victim to your own life. Not because bad things haven't happened, not because it's easy to create the things that you want, but because you realize, oh my God, staying stuck is a choice. I may not be responsible for where I am right now, but I sure as hell am responsible for what happens next. That's the fastest way to change your life, is take ownership of what happens next. So here's what I want you to do. What is one area where you've been waiting? Waiting for permission, waiting for the right time, waiting for someone else to change, waiting for, like, you to feel ready, waiting for it to be less scary,

• 38:55Mel Robbins?

  waiting to not care about what people think? What is that thing that only you can make yourself do? Because ironically, you're the person who's been stopping yourself from doing it. All the excuses. Aren't you so sick of it? Aren't you sick of holding yourself back? Aren't you sick of being the one standing in your own way? You are so much more capable than you're giving yourself credit. It drives me crazy to see you holding yourself back like that. So today, I can't make you do it. I can only remind you that you're the one person who can. One small step proves you're not waiting.

• 39:39Mel Robbins?

  You're in charge. One email. One boundary. One no. One yes. One walk. One honest conversation. See, nobody owes you anything. But you owe yourself everything. That's the moment that your power comes back. When you stop waiting for everybody else to make your life better or to pay for it. When you stop resenting people for not being what you want or doing what you want, you'll start owning your life. And you want to know what's going to happen next? We're going to take a quick break

• 40:21Mel Robbins?

  because I want our incredible sponsors to be able to shine and share a few words. But don't you dare go anywhere. You absolutely want to be here when I share the next reminder. So stay with me.

• 40:42Mel Robbins?

  Bienvenidos de nuevo, soy tu amigo Mel Robbins. Hoy estoy compartiendo ocho recordatorias sencillas. Oh, Dios mío, dicen estos repetidas veces, sé que los están amando. Y eso me lleva a la recordatoria número seis, que vas a amar. No puedes cambiar lo que pasó, pero puedes cambiar lo que pasa después. Esto es tan importante. Sabes, odio decir que todo sucede por una razón. No creo que eso sea verdad, porque creo que hay cosas terribles que te pasan en la vida que no mereces. La vida es muy injusta, es cruel. Lo que prefiero decir es que todo no sucede por una razón.

• 41:22Mel Robbins?

  Encuentras una razón para avanzar a pesar de lo que pasó. ¿Y cómo avanzas? Buscas las lecciones, buscas las cosas que esta experiencia te ha enseñado. Tocas esta fuerza, como hay fuerza que desarrollas en la vida desde construir habilidades proactivamente y empujarte a ti mismo y mostrarte. Y luego hay la fuerza que construyes porque la vida te golpea y es el volver hacia arriba y empujar hacia adelante lo que construye fuerza dentro de ti. Una de las cosas que amo de la vida es que en cualquier momento

• 42:06Mel Robbins?

  puedes decidir que no quieres pasar el resto de tu vida como esta versión de ti. Quiero que te detengas y realmente consideres eso. No tienes que pasar el resto de tu vida como esta versión de ti. Si hay partes de ti que no te gustan, no te gusta tu trabajo, no te gusta la relación en la que estás, no te gusta tú. Como si yo fuera en mis 30 y 40, no me gustaba a mí mismo. Fui una persona muy celosa, muy insegura, era corta. Fui el tipo de amigo que no querías porque fuimos buenos amigos. Si yo estaba haciendo mejor que tú, pero si tú estás haciendo mejor que yo, entonces no soy un gran amigo porque estoy tan insegura sobre mí. Y nadie me iba a cambiar.

• 42:47Mel Robbins?

  Tengo que tomar una decisión de que no quiero pasar el resto de mi vida como esa versión de mí. Y así, si alguna vez has dicho a ti mismo, como he dicho a mí mismo, "Esto no es como quiero vivir el resto de mi vida", y lo has dicho, estoy orgulloso de ti. requiere mucha claridad, requiere mucha coraje, porque no puedes cambiar quién has sido en el pasado. No puedes cambiar las cosas que han pasado, pero absolutamente puedes y deberías cambiar lo que pasa después. Y después, no tiene que ser una enorme reinveniente dramática. Significa la siguiente frase que dices. "Después" podría significar que voy a parar

• 43:32Mel Robbins?

  y voy a empezar a preguntarme si esto vale mi energía. Puede significar la siguiente elección que tomas, la próxima frontera que estableces, la próxima vez que levantas tu teléfono o te pones tus sneakers y vas a caminar. Tienes que decidir cuál será la narrativa y si quieres reescribirla. No estás atrapado como esta versión de ti mismo. No estás atrapado en este trabajo, no estás atrapado en esta relación, no estás atrapado en este apartamento, no estás atrapado en esta situación financiera, no estás atrapado con este entorno mental. Absolutamente todo sobre tu vida puede cambiar haciendo una decisión para cambiarlo, definiendo exactamente lo que quieres cambiar

• 44:17Mel Robbins?

  y luego te sientas bajo la cabeza y te esparces tu tiempo y energía todos los días haciendo lo que tiene que hacerse hasta que te conviertas en ese cambio. Así que si no tomas nada más de esta recordatoria, toma esto, siempre puedes cambiar lo que pasa después. "Después" requiere que seas serio sobre lo que quieres y quién quieres ser y empezar a proteger tu concentración en eso. Y requiere que dejes de dar tu poder. Vamos a volver y cambiamos el futuro. Y eso me lleva a la número siete, una de mis favoritas de todos los tiempos. Y, hombre, necesitamos esto ahora mismo.

• 45:02Mel Robbins?

  "Maturar" es darse cuenta de que la mierda de otras personas no se trata de ti. "Déjalos". Verás, una de las cosas que la gente realmente equivoca sobre la teoría "déjalos" es que malinterpreta "déjalos" como de alguna manera permitir algo. "Déjalos" no es permitir desrespeto o mierda. "Déjalos" es lo opuesto. Cuando dices "déjalos", estás dibujando una frontera. Dices en voz alta, "recuerdo lo que estás haciendo y también reconozco que no puedo controlarte y no valen mi tiempo y energía". Así que cuando digo "déjalos", me esforzo a reconocer que vas a hacer lo tuyo, no puedo cambiarlo y tratar de cambiarlo es un desperdicio total de mi tiempo, así que voy a reconocer eso.

• 45:45Mel Robbins?

  Luego voy a tomar mi poder de nuevo y decir "déjame". "Déjame protegerme de esta mierda que ahora reconozco cuando digo 'déjalos' y déjame decidir cuánto tiempo y energía le doy a personas que consistentemente traen mierda en mi vida". Y habrá momentos en tu vida en los que eliges pasar tiempo y energía con personas como esa porque tal vez valoras a la familia. Pero aquí está la cosa, porque puedes decir "déjalos", lo ves venir. Porque sabes en qué vas a entrar, en lugar de doliéndote y iluminarte a ti mismo y pensando que las personas de repente van a cambiar, no están cambiando. Déjalos ser quien son. Esforzarte a reconocerlo. Así es como te mantienes en el poder, viendo el mundo claramente.

• 46:28Mel Robbins?

  Y si hay una cosa que nunca podrás controlar, es las personas. Lo que dicen, lo que hacen, cómo actúan, su trauma de infancia, si o no son emocionalmente inmaduros. Déjalos, déjalos, déjalos. No se trata de ti y no puedes controlar nada de eso. Déjalos sentarse en su frustración, en sus heridas, en su inmadurez, su estrés, su necesidad de control. Déjales decir lo que van a decir, déjalos hacer lo que van a hacer, déjalos decepcionar, déjalos no entenderte, déjalos discutir sobre ti, déjalos juzgar, déjalos elegir el camino difícil. Déjalos, déjalos, déjalos. Porque no tienes poder sobre otras personas. ¿Por qué pasarías una ounce de energía

• 47:12Mel Robbins?

  defendiéndote a ti mismo a personas que están intencionalmente en la comprensión de ti? No te caigas en la trampa. La mejor manera de probar quién eres es que te sientas bajo la cabeza y vives tu vida de acuerdo a tus valores y tus acciones. Tus acciones son lo que hablan volumen. Esa es la parte "déjame". No necesitas convencer a las personas que están comprometidas con la comprensión de ti de nada. "Déjame proteger mi paz", porque no necesitas pasar tu única vida en un estado de tensión sobre personas que están creando guerras contigo. "Déjame elegir en qué participo", porque no cada conversación merece acceso a ti o una respuesta para ti o incluso una explicación de ti.

• 47:57Mel Robbins?

  Y "déjame establecer la frontera y mantenerla", no establecerla y disculparse por ello, y luego doblarse la primera vez que alguien se enfada. Porque aquí está la cosa, tus límites no son para otras personas. Esto es importante para entender. Tus límites que estableciste, los no, los límites de tiempo, los "no puedo llegar allí", esos límites no son para otras personas. Esos límites son recordatorias para ti de lo que harás y lo que no harás. Y cuando las personas se enojan, voy a decir esto de nuevo para ti. Cuando las personas se enojan, cuando dices "No tendré esta conversación" cuando levantas tu voz conmigo. Cuando se enojan cuando dices eso, es un signo de que la frontera está funcionando.

• 48:41Mel Robbins?

  Eso es correcto, porque lo estás dibujando y no están acostumbrados. Déjalos. Y déjame salir de esta conversación. Déjame tomar mi energía de nuevo del chat de grupo, del drama, de la culpa, del pensamiento excesivo. Déjame concentrarme en lo que puedo controlar. Y hay mucho que puedes controlar. Puedes controlar tu actitud, tu esfuerzo, tus elecciones, tu tiempo, tu energía. Hablamos mucho de eso hoy, cómo proteger tu energía. Hite la pausa, ¿esto vale mi energía? Déjame preguntarme eso. No, entonces es un no. Déjame ser el tipo de persona que respeto, incluso cuando decepciona a alguien más. Porque aquí está la verdad debajo de todo esto.

• 49:22Mel Robbins?

  "Déjalos" es lo que dices para detenerte de tratar constantemente de manejar a otras personas y sus reacciones y estado y sus opiniones y expectativas. "Déjame" es cómo tomas la responsabilidad y empiezas a liderarte a ti mismo. Y eso me lleva a la última recordatoria fantástica. Me encanta esta. Y esto es algo que compartí en un episodio del podcast que hicimos antes de este año. Y te encantó tanto cuando lo publicé en línea que quiero compartirlo de nuevo. Repite después de mí. Hoy, hoy va a ser un buen día porque voy a hacer algo bueno pasar.

• 50:05Mel Robbins?

  Voy a traer una buena actitud, voy a tener buena energía, voy a tener buenas límites, así que no voy a dejar que las cosas estúpidas me arruinen. Hoy va a ser un buen día. Estoy convencida de que despertar todos los días y simplemente forzar a ti mismo a decir esto, esta recordatoria, "hoy va a ser un buen día", "hoy voy a tener buena actitud", te pone a前面 de el 99% de las personas en el planeta en este momento. Es verdad. ¿Sabes cuántas personas despiertan y pasan el día en un estado de mal estado por ninguna razón particular? Habrá días en los que te pasen cosas terribles y deberías estar en un estado de mal estado

• 50:49Mel Robbins?

  porque es mentalmente saludable estar en un estado de mal estado o estar abajo o triste o triste debido a lo que está pasando. Pero en la mayoría de los días en los que despiertas, cuando dices a ti mismo como decisión, "hoy va a ser un buen día", "voy a traer una buena actitud", "voy a hacer una buena cosa pasar". Esto es tú decidiendo, "estoy en el cargo". Y nota, no estoy diciendo, "mi día va a ser perfecto". Ningún día es perfecto. Estás diciendo, "voy a tener una buena actitud". Estás diciendo, "estoy decidiendo que voy a hacer hoy bueno y voy a pasar el resto del día pensando cómo". Aquí está tu tarea. Haga una buena cosa pasar hoy.

• 51:35Mel Robbins?

  Text someone you love. Go outside for five minutes. Clean the kitchen counter. Hmm. Say no to something draining. Ooh, here's another good thing you could do. Say yes to something that matters. Do one thing you're avoiding. Because a good day isn't something that you stumble into by accident. A good day is something you create. You know, I love this saying from MIT's Dr. Joseph Kofflin. Your life is made up of Tuesdays. You know, it's so easy to get so obsessed with the big picture. You know, the big moments, the vacations, all the promotion. Someday, when everything comes together, calms down, or my dreams come true, or I move, or I fall in love.

• 52:20Mel Robbins?

  No, no, no. That's not your life. Your life, you want to know what your life is? Your life is an average Tuesday. Mm-hmm. That's it. When you wake up, what you eat, who you hang out with, that's your life right now. Your life is what you make of it when you're tired. And the piles of laundry are staring at you. And your inbox is chaos. And you've, you know, somebody's in a weird mood. And you're thinking, oh, God, when is this gonna end? I just, how am I gonna get through today? An average Tuesday, that's your life. Most of life is ordinary.

• 53:01Mel Robbins?

  Most of life is you waking up, showing up, handling your stuff, loving your people, trying again. So when you say, today, today's gonna be a good day because I'm gonna make something good happen, you're not creating a magical day. You're talking about an average Tuesday. You don't need to wait for perfect conditions to start living a better life. You just need one small moment. That's it. One good decision, one boundary, one text, one walk. You could literally, I did this yesterday. You want to know why I had a great day yesterday? It was the kind of day where the sky was a bluebird's sky and the clouds were the kind of like puffy, like super puffy clouds.

• 53:46Mel Robbins?

  And they were kind of white, but then they had like gray. And then there was a little pink underneath. They were like, I always call them like painterly clouds. And, and we had been in the car for like five hours in traffic, but I looked up at the sky and the good thing, oh, my God, what a beautiful day. That's it. That was the one good thing that happened to me yesterday on an average Tuesday. And you want to know what? It made it a good day. Made it a good day. That's how you build a good life. You do one small, good thing at a time. It's not in the giant reinventions. It's in the tiny choices. The kind of choices you make on a Tuesday.

• 54:30Mel Robbins?

  So here's what I want you to do right after you finish listening to this. Just pick one reminder from today, the one that really was like, ooh, I needed that one today. Yeah, that one, that one right there. And I want you to write it down or put it in your notes app. These reminders, they're not just words. They can become anchors, reminders that bring you back to yourself when the world makes you start spinning. And if you're anything like me, you already know all this. But, you know, I don't really need new information. I kind of just need reminders because it's easy to forget when you get busy. So give yourself grace. Be gentle with yourself. You and I were just human.

• 55:15Mel Robbins?

  And like everyone else, you're doing this thing called life for the first time. And you're gonna be okay. Use these reminders. Say them out loud. And I know, and I can feel you already thinking, Mel, remind me what they are again. You got it. Here they are. 20 years from now, you'd give anything to be this exact age, this healthy, and back in this exact moment. So take a second and enjoy this moment right now. You want to know what's great about that one? That's how you make an average Tuesday good. You allow yourself to enjoy it.

• 55:57Mel Robbins?

  Reminder number two, underrated life skill, pausing to decide if it's worth your energy. And I think we learned today, most of the stuff that's draining you is not worth your or my energy. Third one, learning how to take nothing personally will change your life. Because most of what people do has nothing to do with you, let their mood be theirs. Your life is yours. That's where you take your power back. Reminder number four, if you wait until you feel better to start living, you'll wait forever. Go live your life. If you feel sad, do it sad.

• 56:42Mel Robbins?

  If you feel anxious, do it anxious. If you feel uncertain, do it uncertain. Because healing, happiness, change, it doesn't always come before the experience. It's the experience that heals you, that makes you change, and that makes you happier. So go do it. Reminder number five, you are responsible for your own happiness. You're responsible for the energy you bring and how you show up. You're responsible for waking up every day and doing the work to make progress on what matters. You're responsible for defining what matters to you. You're responsible for telling the truth even when it's hard. You're responsible for paying for your life. Nobody owes you anything.

• 57:26Mel Robbins?

  But you, you owe yourself everything. Reminder number six, you can't change what happened, but you can change what happens next. Reminder number seven, maturing is realizing other people's bullshit is not about you. Let them. Because you, my friend, have more important things to do. And finally, reminder number eight, today is gonna be a good day because I'm gonna make something good happen. I'm bringing a good attitude. I'm gonna have good energy. I'm gonna have good boundaries. So I am not gonna let stupid stuff drain me.

• 58:08Mel Robbins?

  I want you to grab the reminder that really hits today. For me, I think it's reminder number one. And I would love to know which one of these hit you. I want you to write it down, say it out loud, share it with someone you love. And here's what I also love about this conversation today. You can come back to this episode anytime you need to stop spinning, to hear these reminders, to get your head and your heart back on in the right place so you can start moving forward again. I'm so excited that you listened to this. I'm so excited to see you get your power back and to see you moving through this moment

• 58:50Mel Robbins?

  and also being present for it. Because that's a really good thing. And in case no one else tells you this today, as your friend, I wanted to be sure that I did. I love you and I believe in you. And I believe in your ability to create a better life. And sometimes it's just the simple reminders of the things that you already know that help you do that. All righty. I will see you in the very next episode. I'm gonna be waiting for you the moment you hit play.

• 59:25Mel Robbins?

  Suck down these greens. Here we go, everybody.

• 59:27Speaker 01

  Now, do those taste good?

• 59:28Mel Robbins?

  No.

• 59:30Mel Robbins?

  Ew, that did not.

• 59:35Mel Robbins?

  And at some point, you might see my daughter sneaking up the stairs to hand me a coffee, which I would gladly accept. Can you believe we used to do two of these a day? Uh-oh, here comes the printer. The number one word is printer. Nope, that's not what's happening.

• 59:53Mel Robbins?

  It's, okay, we'll let it color calibrate for a minute. It's exhausted, everybody. Let's give the printer some grace. The printer's exhausted, too. She's done color calibrating? Okay, here we go. I'll start at the top again. Let's eat lunch.

• 1:00:09Mel Robbins?

  Oh, and one more thing. And no, this is not a blooper. This is the legal language. You know what the lawyers write and what I need to read to you. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist. And this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I'll see you in the next episode.