Pod Insights The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast Parental Roles About this episode Parenting isn’t a theory—it’s a daily test of character. In this first episode, Dr. Jordan B. Peterson meets with real parents navigating the joys and struggles of raising children. From discipline and play to guilt, sacrifice, and step-parenting, Peterson offers timeless insights rooted in clinical psychology and lived experience. If you’re a parent—or planning to be—this is where your journey begins.
- - -
Privacy Policy: https://www.dailywire.com/privacy
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript 0:00 Speaker 00 Share comfort and joy this holiday season at Tacovus. Our boots are handcrafted in over 200 meticulous steps and have a broken-in feel right out of the box with styles for everyone in the family. Our expert staff can help you pick the perfect gifts and we have free in-store gift wrapping to help make the holiday season truly special. See you soon at your local Tacovus store or shop with us anytime at tacovus.com.
0:23 Speaker 01 Have you heard the news? Balance of Nature's Fiber & Spice Supplement is everything nice. No synthetics, no additives, and no flow agents. Just 100% ingredients of whole food. It isn't just your average fiber supplement. It also has a wide variety of 12 amazing spices. Just two scoops of the Fiber & Spice Supplement stirred into 16 ounces of your favorite drink daily, that's all it takes to get a wide variety of ingredients of real whole food every single day. Here's how Balance of Nature Fiber & Spice Supplement worked for one customer.
0:58 Speaker 02 I have been taking Fiber & Spice for over three years. When I first started taking it, I could smell the cumin and the turmeric and the different spices. I tell all my friends about Balance of Nature.
1:10 Speaker 01 Call now and save 35% on your first order when you subscribe. Use discount code WIRE. Call 1-800-246-8751. That's 1-800-246-8751.
1:24 Speaker 03 There are a few things I love more than Good Ranchers, but there are not many. I'll tell you that. It might, I think it might make it on the top five of all things in the world. It's just the best quality meat at the very best price from the very best people. Meanwhile, you go to the grocery store, you ever ask yourself, hey, where was this meat raised? Because American beef on the package does not necessarily mean everything that that company sells is American. Good Ranchers makes it very simple. Every cut they sell is labeled, born, raised, and harvested in the USA. They partner with more than 100 local American farms and ranchers to deliver 100% American meat straight to your door. Beef, chicken, pork, even seafood, you know what you are feeding your family, you know where it came from, you're supporting American farmers and ranchers.
2:10 Speaker 03 Producing it and I love supporting Americans and I love a good price. For me, though, it all comes down to the quality. The Good Ranchers quality is just next level on certainly all the beef. Even I'm not a huge chicken guy. Their chicken is like the best chicken you're going to get. Whether we're talking about the chicken breasts, whether we're talking about the CDO free chicken nuggets, it's all just magnificent. The people are great, too. Start a plan at GoodRanchers.com/wire. Get 50 bucks off plus free meat with every order. You can build your own box, starting as low as under 29 bucks. That's GoodRanchers.com/wire. 50 bucks off plus free meat with every order. GoodRanchers.com/wire. GoodRanchers.com. American meat delivered.
3:16 Speaker 04 There is nothing you'll do in life that's more challenging, difficult and rewarding than being a parent.
3:24 Speaker 04 Nothing with greater highs or lower lows. Worthwhile meaning in your life is going to be found in the voluntary adoption of responsibility. Voluntary self-sacrifice. That's the spirit of the functional psyche, family and community. What does it mean to be a father? What does it mean to be a mother? You need to know very clearly what it is that you can do for your children in order to help them live a life that's adventurous and responsible.
3:58 Speaker 04 I've distilled the decades of my experience as a researcher and clinical psychologist into the lessons every striving mother or father needs to learn. If you've ever thought about becoming a parent or are a parent already, this series is for you.
4:16 Speaker 04 Hello. I sat down recently with many mums and dads to personally discuss the situations they were facing with their children. Our 13 year old, we spoiled the heck out of him. My daughter came to tell us that.
4:29 Speaker 05 Her classmates were bullying her. The question for me becomes, when do I pick him up? And when do I make him pick himself up?
4:37 Speaker 04 What lessons can you derive from today's discussion? How do you operate effectively as a father and as a mother in today's world?
4:55 Speaker 04 Well, you could say if you wanted to play sex stereotype that a mother secures and a father encourages.
5:04 Speaker 04 You could say that a father is radically on the side of who the child could become.
5:11 Speaker 04 And a mother is more radically on the side of who the child is. And that's a nice dynamic, because when you're dealing with a child, you have to be happy and grateful for who they are and encouraging them to be the person they could become. Now, I think it's a mistake for the mother always to be the nurturer and the father always to be the person pushing forward. Both parents should play both roles, but that's a good way of considering the sex differentiation.
5:41 Speaker 02 When it comes to nurturing and snuggling, it's more my role as opposed to when it's time to play or go outside or do things like that. That's more Nathan's department, which I find for me it is difficult to play with my kids.
6:02 Speaker 02 How do I sit down and play with his trucks and not feel like I should be doing something else without feeling like I should be washing dishes? I should be putting things away.
6:23 Speaker 04 In all likelihood, you're going to be a mother. ...of small children for a much shorter time than you think and for a much smaller fraction of your life than you imagine. While you have little kids, time sort of slows and it seems like it's always been that way and it's always going to be that way, and that's not the case. You have little kids for a very short period of time and it is a major mistake not to notice that and to appreciate it.
6:51 Speaker 04 It's the pathway to a future with the least regrets to understand and be grateful for the opportunity that you have to care for your children
7:00 Speaker 04 while they're little and to be as grateful as you possibly can for that because it really is a privilege.
7:12 Speaker 02 Just being a parent. Nothing I was ever interested in prior to this really is worthy of my time or concern at this moment. I don't know if that will last forever and I'm curious about how things like my career, the things I have been doing outside of the house, relationships, other things I'm involved in, now work in to our lives and I'm very open to the answer being: you sacrifice it.
7:46 Speaker 04 In the first few months of life, a child has to be in very close contact with his or her mother.
7:54 Speaker 04 It's virtually impossible to give a true infant too much attention. In fact, I don't even know if it is possible.
8:04 Speaker 04 As the child becomes autonomous, can start doing things on his or her own,
8:10 Speaker 04 then you have to pull back in lockstep with the child's independence. And you might say, "Well, how..." Do you know how fast to pull back? If you really take your cues from the child, a mother or a parent acts as a zone of security and predictability and care for the child. And so the child uses the mother, let's say, as a place of safety. And we'll come back for comfort, for attention, and then we'll go out into the world and play and interact until they hit an obstacle.
8:49 Speaker 04 And then they'll retreat to the mother to be that island of stability, security, and encouragement. And so then there's a continual dance between outward movement and retreat that the mother anchors.
9:04 Speaker 04 And eventually, the child is capable of completely autonomous life. And then if you've handled that properly and you've been the proper balance of security and encouragement, the child won't leave permanently because you'll establish an adult relationship with them and then a relationship with their children. And then you get to have your cake and eat it too. And that's a good deal for everybody. If you're willing to lose your child as they adventure outward, you'll gain them back in an adult relationship.
9:40 Speaker 04 How did you overindulge, do you think, exactly?
9:42 Speaker 02 Well, we just gave him everything, everything.
9:46 Speaker 04 Okay.
9:47 Speaker 05 We spoiled the heck out of him. Because I grew up with nothing. And Jamie grew up in a household where things were love.
9:55 Speaker 02 And we just don't want our five-year-old to follow in the same footsteps. Like, see that as an example to grow up as.
10:11 Speaker 04 I've seen mothers who are at the beck and call of their three-year-old son in particular. That's a bad idea. Your son, your daughter for that matter, isn't little god emperor of the universe and shouldn't conceptualize himself or herself that way. That's a good pathway to narcissism. Your best pathway forward as a mother is to not do for your child anything that your child can do for themselves.
10:37 Speaker 04 That means doing up their shoes, or putting on their clothes, and cleaning up their rooms, and helping to set the table when they're old enough to help set the table. One of the mistakes that parents make is they'll step in and do things quickly for the child instead of letting them learn. Now, at any given time, it's faster for you to dress your child, but you don't want to be dressing them when they're seven. Everything you can do to bring the child into the realm of adult responsibility is exactly the sort of thing that you would do if you were reasonable and you were trying to boost what people now so casually call self-esteem. There's nothing that gives a person more esteem than to see that they're useful and necessary, and that that's real.
11:24 Speaker 04 How are you doing?
11:25 Speaker 05 I'm good.
11:25 Speaker 04 What's your name?
11:26 Speaker 05 Mica.
11:27 Speaker 04 Mica.
11:28 Speaker 05 Nice to meet you.
11:28 Speaker 04 Good to meet you, Mica. So what brings you here today?
11:32 Speaker 05 Well, I have been engaged for a couple of weeks, and my fiancee already has a two-year-old son, which means that I'm going to be an instant father to a toddler, which raises a few questions for me.
11:45 Speaker 04 Yeah.
11:46 Speaker 05 What is a father? Is it something that you are? Or is it a role that you can step into, like I'm about to?
11:57 Speaker 04 Yeah, well, I guess you're gonna find out the answer to that question, aren't you?
12:00 Speaker 05 Yes.
12:05 Speaker 04 Can you become a father? Is that a rule you take on? I think it's always a rule you take on. Being a father is a relationship, and a relationship is something you have to develop.
12:17 Speaker 04 Any time that you spend with your child, one-on-one, teaching them, talking to them, playing with them, listening to them, walking with them, is encouragement, because they need to learn to be adults. And your children need to see you modeling how to be an engaged adult for them.
12:38 Speaker 04 Honest and committed pursuit of a worthwhile goal. That's a good way of thinking about what a father should model. Voluntary adventure, that's another encapsulation of the masculine role.
12:53 Speaker 00 Cher Comfort enjoyed this holiday season at Tacovus. Our boots are handcrafted in over 200 meticulous steps and have a broken-in feel right out of the box with styles for everyone in the family. Our expert staff can help you pick the perfect gifts and we have free in-store gift wrapping to help make the holiday season truly special. See you soon at your local Tacovus store or shop with us anytime at tacovus.com.
13:18 Speaker 04 The establishment of a vision, the commitment to its pursuit, resilience in the face of failure, faith in the future, service to your family, your community, protection from the catastrophes of life and care of the most vulnerable. That's masculinity in a nutshell. That's why the shepherd, for example, in old religious stories is a model of masculinity. Ancient shepherds, they kept the wolves and the lions at bay and took care of the most vulnerable. And that's what men who are worthy of the name strive for. Don't assume that there's a pathway to being a father.
14:02 Speaker 04 Just have a relationship with the kid. And that'll unfold at its own speed. And that is what happens with fathers anyways. You've got to get to know your kid and you do that by spending time with them. And just because children know less about the world at the experiential level doesn't mean they're not paying attention and certainly doesn't mean that they're stupid. They're not stupid and they're watching and you can talk to them. Now, you have to talk to a two-year-old about the things that a two-year-old can understand, but if you have a genuine conversation with them, then you're communicating and that's just steady all the way through.
14:44 Speaker 04 There's no difference technically speaking between being concerned with yourself in the narrow sense, say concerned with your own pleasure, concerned with your own status. There's no difference between that and suffering. The answer to that isn't to stop being self-conscious because that's not something you can voluntarily control. The answer is to note that meaning in your life is going to be found in adoption of responsibility for other people and responsibility for the future.
15:19 Speaker 04 Shouldering that load makes you productive and useful, but it also provides you with the sustaining meaning that helps you manage yourself even through times of trouble.
15:33 Speaker 05 For the past couple of months, he's been calling me daddy.
15:35 Speaker 04 Oh yeah, what do you think of that?
15:38 Speaker 05 It makes me feel a lot more pressure than I was comfortable with at first.
15:43 Speaker 04 Yeah.
15:44 Speaker 05 But even though I did feel the pressure, I also felt the conviction that I'd already decided this was the right thing to do.
15:51 Speaker 04 Like you said, you had doubts. Do you have... What are your doubts?
15:55 Speaker 05 I am worried about it being too much at once. I'm worried about feeling invaded and claustrophobic.
16:07 Speaker 04 Okay, you know, people think, "Well, I'm taking on this responsibility. I'm sacrificing my freedom." It's like, well, first of all, freedom to do what? To be self-centered and miserable? What, and lonesome? That's all the freedom I want: self-centered, miserable, and lonesome. It's like, so then you take on the hypothetical responsibility of a child, but the thing is, they pay you. There's data on this too. People who have little kids take more pleasure in the things they do with their little kids than single people do doing the same things.
16:43 Speaker 04 Kids look at the world through fresh eyes. Everything that you do with a little kid is a new thing for the kid, and you get to see that, and that's a really good deal.
16:54 Speaker 04 And you can become a master of those little adventures that you go on with your kids.
17:02 Speaker 04 If you learn to do it right.
17:07 Speaker 04 There won't be anything that you'd rather do, because it's a very rare adult who is as much joy to be with than a child who's well-disciplined and playfully accompanying you.
17:23 Speaker 04 In conclusion, what lessons can you derive from today's discussion? Lessons for motherhood: Hold them close, but let them go. Encourage your children to go out into the world so they become competent and productive and happy and secure. But be confident that when the need arises, they'll come to you for the care that only as their mother you can provide. Don't worship your child. Care for them, love them, but don't turn them into narcissists. Lessons for fatherhood: Become the man your children want to imitate. There's very little that you can do that's more important as a man than to provide the model for responsible adventurous adulthood to your children. Embrace responsibility.
18:07 Speaker 04 Gain purpose. You're giving up what's often nothing more than juvenile hedonism to pursue something of much greater significance, the meaning that you find in the voluntary adoption of responsibility. So I'd like to offer you a sample homework assignment, so to speak. Sit and write a little bit, a couple of paragraphs, about three things that your father did particularly well. And do the same with your mother. Write down as well three things that you think they might have done better. And then give some thought while you're writing to how you could capitalize on the positive things that your father and your mother taught you and how you could rectify the things that were less than optimal. I hope that that's helpful in dealing with the problems that arise in the future.
18:52 Speaker 04 My new Daily Wire Plus series, Parenting, brings what I've learned in decades of research and clinical practice to the concerns of real mothers and fathers. Watch Parenting exclusively on Daily Wire, May 25. Go to DailyWirePlus.com today to subscribe.
19:16 Speaker 00 Share comfort and joy this holiday season at Tacovus. Our boots are handcrafted in over 200 meticulous steps and have a broken-in feel right out of the box with styles for everyone in the family. Our expert staff can help you pick the perfect gifts and we have free in-store gift wrapping to help make the holiday season truly special. See you soon at your local Tacovus store or shop with us anytime at tacovus.com.
19:40 Speaker 01 Have you heard the news? Balance of Nature's Fiber & Spice Supplement is everything nice. No synthetics, no additives, and no flow agents. Just 100% ingredients of whole food. It isn't just your average fiber supplement. It also has a wide variety of 12 amazing spices. Just two scoops of the Fiber & Spice Supplement stirred into 16 ounces of your favorite drink daily, that's all it takes to get a wide variety of ingredients of real whole food every single day. Here's how Balance of Nature Fiber & Spice Supplement worked for one customer.
20:15 Speaker 02 I have been taking Fiber & Spice for over three years. When I first started taking it, I could smell the cumin and the turmeric and the different spices. I tell all my friends about Balance of Nature.
20:27 Speaker 01 Call now and save 35% on your first order when you subscribe. Use discount code WIRE. Call 1-800-246-8751. That's 1-800-246-8751.
20:40 Speaker 03 There are a few things I love more than Good Ranchers, but there are not many. I'll tell you that. It might, I think it might make it on the top five of all things in the world. It's just the best quality meat at the very best price from the very best people. Meanwhile, you go to the grocery store, you ever ask yourself, hey, where was this meat raised? Because American beef on the package does not necessarily mean everything that that company sells is American. Good Ranchers makes it very simple. Every cut they sell is labeled, born, raised, and harvested in the USA. They partner with more than 100 local American farms and ranchers to deliver 100% American meat straight to your door. Beef, chicken, pork, even seafood, you know which you are feeding your Family, you know where it came from.
21:24 Speaker 03 You're supporting American farmers and ranchers producing it. And I love supporting Americans and I love a good price. For me, though, it all comes down to the quality. The Good Ranchers quality is just next level on certainly all the beef. Even I'm not a huge chicken guy. Their chicken is like the best chicken you're going to get. Whether we're talking about the chicken breasts, whether we're talking about the CDO oil free chicken nuggets, it's all just magnificent. The people are great, too. Start a plan at GoodRanchers.com/wire. Get 50 bucks off plus free meat with every order. You can build your own box, starting as low as under 29 bucks. That's GoodRanchers.com/wire. 50 bucks off plus free meat with every order. GoodRanchers.com/wire. GoodRanchers.com. American meat delivered.
Previous 548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller Next 549. Matt Walsh on Making Movies, the Woke Right, & Winning Page updated November 3, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated