#2557 - Yakov Smirnoff

Yakov Smirnoff, PhD, is a comedian, actor, visual artist, host of the "Comedy Couch" podcast, and owner of the Yakov Theatre in Branson, Missouri. He is currently touring the United States.www.youtube.com/@YakovSmirnoffwww.yakov.com Perplexity: Download the app or ask Perplexity anything at https://pplx.ai/rogan. Visit https://squarespace.com/ROGAN to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Try ZipRecruiter FOR FREE at https://ziprecruiter.com/rogan Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  The Joe Rogan Experience.

• 0:05Speaker 01

  Training by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.

• 0:12Joe Rogan?

  Let's go Yakov, what's happening baby, how are you? I'm doing good. Good to see you. Nice to see you. I know, Jamie's snuck in up on us, bam, just turn on, bam. That way you don't have a chance to freak out. Yeah, thank you. What's in the bag? Oh. What you got in there?

• 0:27Speaker 03

  Okay, so there are a couple of things.

• 0:29Joe Rogan?

  Oh, a couple of things.

• 0:30Speaker 03

  One, yeah, one is, it's a mural, piece of the mural that I painted at the ground zero, and I thought it would be interesting for you to have.

• 0:41Joe Rogan?

  You painted a mural at ground zero?

• 0:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 0:44Joe Rogan?

  Oh, wow.

• 0:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, so that, that was something, and I actually sent them, Paul Harvey did the, the rest of the story about that, and I, I sent them a video if they wanted to.

• 0:57Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I don't know if we could play that unfortunately, I think it's got like a copyright to it.

• 1:02Speaker 03

  Actually, I was in touch.

• 1:04Joe Rogan?

  We were told, Jamie, isn't that what they said? It would be tough. Yeah.

• 1:08Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:09Joe Rogan?

  So there's the mural, there's a photo of the mural.

• 1:11Speaker 03

  Right, right, and it was, I was in touch with Paul Harvey Jr. asking if that would be okay, and they said it's fine, and they'll send you.

• 1:21Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but I don't think they own it, you know what I'm saying?

• 1:24Speaker 03

  They own his voice, so.

• 1:27Joe Rogan?

  Right, but it's probably, if it's on Paul Harvey's television show, right?

• 1:31Speaker 03

  No, no, no.

• 1:32Joe Rogan?

  A radio show.

• 1:33Speaker 03

  It was a radio, yeah.

• 1:34Joe Rogan?

  Right, if it's on Paul Harvey's radio show, it's probably copyrighted. Did we have a problem when we played the Taylor Sheridan one? Remember we played that whole thing? It's just, I would. It's just an issue? It's an issue.

• 1:45Speaker 03

  It's an issue.

• 1:46Joe Rogan?

  Don't sweat it. So anyway, you had a mural.

• 1:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's, that's, and there was a couple of other little.

• 1:52Joe Rogan?

  You gotta talk into the microphone.

• 1:54Speaker 03

  Sorry.

• 1:55Joe Rogan?

  That's all right.

• 1:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:57Joe Rogan?

  You wear headphones if you want, that way you can hear yourself.

• 1:58Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:59Joe Rogan?

  You don't have to.

• 2:00Speaker 03

  This is, this is real.

• 2:01Joe Rogan?

  This is real? What do you mean?

• 2:03Speaker 03

  No, like, I watch you, and I'm in such an awe of what you were able to, your, your career, your trajectory, how you were able to sustain that longevity, and then transition to this amazing voice. It's just, it's been an honor to know you and be here, so I'm, I'm a little nervous.

• 2:30Joe Rogan?

  Well, don't be nervous, uh, cause listen, it's all just dumb luck. There's a giant percentage of it that's dumb luck, that's a fact. I mean, I'm very persistent, that helps, but, uh, this thing, this, the podcast, is a lot of it is luck. You know how people like talk about like having a vision board, oh, I had a vision board, I imagined, and people say that to me all the time, like, I'm sure you did that with this show, I'm like, I didn't do anything of the sort, I just kept doing it, and it got big. But it's, uh, just people talking, simple, just like you and I talk in the green room?

• 3:01Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 3:02Joe Rogan?

  We're talking here, it's no big deal, it's just a bunch of people get to listen to us.

• 3:06Speaker 03

  Yes, yes, yes.

• 3:07Joe Rogan?

  It's nothing that spectacular. The spectacular thing is my guests, that's the fortunate thing, I'm the fortunate one, cause I get to talk to so many cool people. Look at you with your fucking American flag on your, on your, uh, phone cover, look at that.

• 3:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:22Joe Rogan?

  Don't get fooled by the accent ladies and gentlemen. Um, you know, we were talking about your story in the green room, and I was like, we have to do a podcast, because your, your story is so crazy, how when the wall fell, so did your career.

• 3:36Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 3:37Joe Rogan?

  Like, you had this massive career, I remember you from The Tonight Show, I remember you all the time, you know? In Russia, you always had these jokes about in Russia.

• 3:44Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 3:45Joe Rogan?

  And it was great, because like you were a Russian comedian, doing stand-up in the United States.

• 3:50Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 3:51Joe Rogan?

  And then, once, once the Soviet Union fell.

• 3:55Speaker 03

  Yes, the Leatherman, uh, David Leatherman had a top 10 list of things that will now change, that the Soviet Union is no longer there, and I made number one on the list, Yakov Smirnoff will be out of work, and I thought it was humorous, because I was living in Pacific Palisades next to Tom Hanks and Arnold Schwarzenegger, I mean, I thought American dream will never end, and all of a sudden, it, it, six months later, none of my contracts in Las Vegas, Atlantic City, Reno, Tahoe, none of them were renewed, and I could not find work, literally, I mean, I tried back to clubs, and they wouldn't have me either.

• 4:40Joe Rogan?

  What?

• 4:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was, um, the comparison, uh, there was Van Meter, uh, that was an impersonator of John F. Kennedy, um, he was, um, an impersonator, was very popular at that time, and then after the assassination, assassination, his career went nowhere right away, and so somewhat, in, in some ways, it was similar to that, that I was associated with the Soviet Union, and my humor was associated with that, and it was helping, I was helping, um, President

• 5:26Speaker 03

  Reagan write jokes for his speeches, for when he would go to Moscow, um, you have a picture somewhere Jamie, of, I mean, it was amazing, all of a sudden, I was like a joke supplier for the White House, and it was, my career was just growing higher and higher, and all of the sudden, it was gone, and I was.

• 5:53Joe Rogan?

  Well, that doesn't make any sense, I mean, you still had great jokes.

• 5:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:58Joe Rogan?

  And I'm sure people still wanted to see you, that's what didn't make any sense.

• 6:02Speaker 03

  It wasn't, I guess I wasn't relevant, because they associated me so much with that, and so I started, after not having work, uh, not be able to pay mortgage, I started looking for a place where they did not know that the Soviet Union collapsed, and I ended up in Branson, Missouri, I joke about this in my show, but it was a blessing in disguise, because I was, all of a sudden, my, my humor was family-friendly, and this town is very

• 6:40Speaker 03

  much like that, and they embraced me, and I, I mean, it wasn't right away, but it grew and grew and grew.

• 6:50Joe Rogan?

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• 8:42Joe Rogan?

  This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. If you're thinking about building a website, you should try Squarespace. I know, because I use it. That's right, joe Rogan dot com is powered by Squarespace. It has all the features that you need to create a standout website, like an AI-enhanced website builder, SEO optimization tools, and seamless checkouts with mobile pay links. Head to Squarespace dot com slash Rogan for a free trial, and when you are ready to launch, use the offer code ROGAN to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Wow, and what is Branson like? Cause I would always hear about it, like it was always, like, we would hear about it

• 9:27Joe Rogan?

  in LA, that it was this like freaky Bible town, that it's like creationist museums and stuff like that, like, here's a reconstruction of the Ark, like, that's the kind of stuff that you would hear. I was, obviously I never went, so I don't know.

• 9:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, um, I didn't wanna go to Branson, okay? I was living in LA, I didn't, I mean, I.

• 9:46Joe Rogan?

  Did you move to Missouri?

• 9:47Speaker 03

  Eventually I had to, yeah, because I, I had to sell my house, I mean, the whole thing, yeah. So, what happened is, I didn't have, I didn't know where to go, I mean, it literally was scary. I have two little kids at that time, and I can't find work, so my agent calls me, and he said, Willie Nelson is doing this Farm Aid concert, and, um, would you like to co-host with him? And I didn't have, you know, I said, sure, but I don't think farmers would know who I am, and I got there, 50,000 people, I did my set, and they gave me a standing ovation,

• 10:29Speaker 03

  and I went like, wow, this is, I didn't expect that. So I go to say goodbye, and say thank you to Willie, and I opened the door, and the smoke comes out, and Willie, and I was proud to say that I, you know, I, I didn't do drugs, but after I opened that door, I couldn't say that anymore, so I, through this, through the smoke, he goes, Yakov, you should go to Branson, they'll love you there. And I was like, okay, I heard about it, but I was not sure, so I go to Branson, just to check it out, and it's.

• 11:10Speaker 03

  March of two thousand nineteen ninety-three.

• 11:15Speaker 03

  And I've been struggling now for two years after the Soviet Union collapsed. And I go in and and I walk into one of the shows and it was Soji Tabuchi show. It was a Japanese fiddle player.

• 11:31Speaker 03

  And that was just playing country music. I didn't know about him. And I walk in and it's a matinee and there are two thousand people in that room.

• 11:43Joe Rogan?

  Whoa.

• 11:43Speaker 03

  And I'm going, what is going on? Right, this is crazy. I was in Vegas, I didn't see. Right, so then I go Andy Williams show and it's the same thing, two thousand people full. And I'm going, wow, if if they can do this, I can do it as well. And so I in May, I rented a small theater and I just set my shop there, put my name on the wall. And I got first show seventeen people came in. And I'm going, oh, boy, I I I don't have a place to go, but this is not gonna work.

• 12:25Speaker 03

  But then I started doing, I I was pretty creative. I started, I said, I'm gonna serve breakfast in the in the showroom. I'll I'll call it yak in a box. And I'm just gonna make my mother recipe of breakfast. And people will pass it eat. And hopefully more people will come. So I would do two shows a day.

• 12:53Speaker 03

  In the morning and in the evening, dinner and breakfast. And little by little, it grew, it grew, it grew. And then a year later, my average was like four hundred people a show. And then the buses, that's the big business there is the the people come by bus in those days, a lot of them. And they would just discovered me. And I started to become more and more popular. And then I bought two thousand seat theater. And now I entertain over six million people there. And it became, yeah, this is, uh, this is kind of, it's.

• 13:38Joe Rogan?

  That's your theater.

• 13:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 13:39Joe Rogan?

  Look at you.

• 13:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's been a very successful journey overall. I'm, you know, I'm kind of the the only celebrity or national known person there now.

• 13:57Joe Rogan?

  Wow, and so how often you do shows there?

• 14:00Speaker 03

  Now I got down to like thirty shows a year towards fall. But I used to do four hundred.

• 14:08Joe Rogan?

  Whoa.

• 14:09Speaker 03

  A year, just to make more money and people are coming and I it it worked out for me.

• 14:17Joe Rogan?

  Well, good for you for adapting. I'm sure that must have been very nerve wracking, though.

• 14:23Speaker 03

  It was.

• 14:23Joe Rogan?

  Especially with young children.

• 14:25Speaker 03

  A big time.

• 14:26Joe Rogan?

  And you're, you know, from another country, you come to America, you're killing it. You think, oh, my God, I'm the American dream. This is incredible.

• 14:33Speaker 03

  And then it's nightmare all of a sudden and you don't know what to do.

• 14:37Joe Rogan?

  That's the problem with the world before social media, right? Because before social media, like you you couldn't just put some clips out there and show that you're still performing and still going places.

• 14:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 14:50Joe Rogan?

  Because back then there was like a narrative and after that narrative got out, you were done. You know, so the narrative was.

• 14:56Speaker 03

  So it was canceled.

• 14:57Joe Rogan?

  Yep.

• 14:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was canceled. And I didn't have anything to do with it. It's not like I had a scandal or something. It just, I was helping Reagan to chisel the wall down. But there was a writing on the wall that I didn't see. It says, get a get a day job, you know, and I didn't see it, right? So that's how it happened.

• 15:17Joe Rogan?

  It's amazing that you found Branson. And it's what would happen if you didn't? That's what's really crazy. Like, what do you think you would have been able to figure out a way to tour? And was it that clubs wouldn't book you or people wouldn't come?

• 15:32Speaker 03

  Both, some some because people were not buying tickets, the clubs didn't book me. And the whole effect is just, you know.

• 15:41Joe Rogan?

  So it was just the fall of the Soviet Union that people got in their mind, oh, Yakov is done.

• 15:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was that quick.

• 15:49Joe Rogan?

  That's what's fucked up about it is because like you have very funny jokes. Like, you're a good comic. It's like the the idea that you can't be a great comic and talk about other stuff is so stupid.

• 16:00Speaker 03

  But but what happened, it was an evolution for me. I I think that I look back and I'm going, thank you for this. Because it was kind of a a one note tune. And and then it made me, forced me to go, okay, that topic is not necessarily the right thing. Right now, it's not, nobody cares. Because Soviet Union not there and nobody scared of it. Because I was kind of like a, you know, it was a headache from the, you know, or

• 16:40Speaker 03

  pain in the butt, Soviet Union and I'm preparation age and I they used me. And then after swelling and itching went away, you don't need it anymore, right? So that's how it happened. So so I went into it. That also coincided with my divorce. And and I was struggling, trying to figure out what's what direction do I go? And I realized that this, I was helping the Cold War to end in some ways by being in involved with Reagan and and helping with that.

• 17:19Speaker 03

  And when when that happened, I figured, you know, my divorce is happening. I know laughter helped the world become a better place. Why is there laughter in the beginning of the relationship with men and women? And then when there's divorce, the only people laughing are attorneys. And I put that question to my audience. So it became kind of like my laboratory of laughter. I just start asking people, I said, how many of you remember laughter being part of that honeymoon stage of your relationship? And they all applaud.

• 18:01Speaker 03

  And I go, how many of you go on a second date if you didn't have laughter on the first date? And no one applauded. So I became like, this is kind of a universal thing that I was. My dad was an engineer and inventor, so my brain is kind of constantly, I I'm looking for reverse engineering. Why is it that laughter goes away in a relationship? So as comedians, we gauge our relationship with the audience with laughter every time.

• 18:35Joe Rogan?

  Did the relationship fall apart because you had to move to Missouri?

• 18:39Speaker 03

  Well, it challenges, yeah, it it added to this. But I think I was looking for the root of this more like, what is that that I am missing that I didn't do? Because, you know, I was.

• 18:55Joe Rogan?

  You had a gimmick.

• 18:56Speaker 03

  I had a gimmick.

• 18:57Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 18:58Speaker 03

  But but that was with my audience. What was happening with my wife? Why was that falling apart? So I start seeing the parallel. And the kids were little at that time. And I was trying to explain to them what was going on. And I can show you what I did. I brought this with me. It's I I showed this to, I know, show and tell. I I brought it for my, I started, I I took magnets and I was showing my kids. I said, look, mommy and daddy and we we attracted one another and we had you

• 19:41Speaker 03

  and we had love and laughter and what was happening. And then something happened. And I don't know if you can show it, Jamie.

• 19:50Joe Rogan?

  There's people listening as well.

• 19:51Speaker 03

  Okay, oh, okay, so.

• 19:53Joe Rogan?

  The magnets is gonna repel.

• 19:54Speaker 03

  The magnets, they attract, but then when things don't go well, they repel. So I was going, what is it that attracting us and what is it that repelling us? And then after doing this and I I went to University of Pennsylvania, got my master's degree in psychology, got my doctorate degree at Pepperdine. I mean, I was digging in, I was.

• 20:19Joe Rogan?

  You did all this while you were doing Branson?

• 20:22Speaker 03

  Performing Branson, yeah.

• 20:23Joe Rogan?

  How were you doing that?

• 20:25Speaker 03

  I would travel, I would just go do a weekend, just, I would take my schedule and make it the way I want it. And whatever I had to do, I would just travel to Pennsylvania to and and do that.

• 20:42Joe Rogan?

  And you were taking in person classes?

• 20:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 20:45Joe Rogan?

  But how were you doing that if you were doing for, you were on the weekends?

• 20:48Speaker 03

  On the weekends, they were classes, yes.

• 20:50Joe Rogan?

  Wow, so you would work all week and then fly on the weekends. So why were you doing that?

• 20:56Speaker 03

  Well.

• 20:57Joe Rogan?

  That sounds exhausting.

• 20:59Speaker 03

  It's interesting. I was searching for a purpose. I think that was I I noticed something that was universal. And I wanted to prove that scientifically to myself and to and I and I did because it was important to me. And what I figured out, and as a comedian, you'll understand that every time we tell a joke, where the setup is we're meeting their needs, they're interested in that topic. You and I talked in the green room, like you need more topics, for example, for your one hour more to to add.

• 21:40Speaker 03

  And so the topics that you're looking for are the the you're meeting the needs of people, they want, they are curious. And then your humor is the punchline and that creates laughter. If you don't meet their needs, if they're not interested, then your humor doesn't matter much. So in a relationship, the same thing happens. So if I put this, and I know people are listening, but they they can maybe picture that. If you put needs in the middle.

• 22:15Speaker 03

  Then you.

• 22:16Joe Rogan?

  You're talking about magnets. You gotta remember, a lot of these people are not watching.

• 22:20Speaker 03

  Okay, so I'm gonna, I'm gonna abandon that.

• 22:23Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, let's abandon that. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. There's no excuse for a bad website anymore. Squarespace makes sure of that. Squarespace's AI website builder gets you something that looks genuinely professional in just a few clicks. No design skills required. You can lock down your domain, build something that actually looks like you, and keep it all protected in one place. Head to Squarespace.com/Rogan for a free trial, and when you are ready to launch, use the offer code ROGEN to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

• 22:59Speaker 03

  So.

• 22:59Joe Rogan?

  I get what you're saying.

• 23:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:01Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 23:01Speaker 03

  The, the needs is, uh, the flexible thing in our, humor stays the same. But the needs or the setup is different. So if every business, uh, is successful when they figure out what is the need of people, like Apple, for example, they say, "We, we develop product that you don't know you need, but then you can't live without it." That's their model. So the same thing, a restaurant, if they figured out what need is that community has, they're successful. You figured out what is the need that people have,

• 23:46Speaker 03

  and they're listening to you, and they love it.

• 23:49Joe Rogan?

  I don't, is it a need? Like, we're talking, we're, the word need is a weird one, because for me, need is like food and shelter and community. That's the real needs. Everything else is desires.

• 23:59Speaker 03

  Well, in.

• 24:00Joe Rogan?

  Or interests.

• 24:01Speaker 03

  In the hierarchy of needs with Maslow, they just go higher and higher.

• 24:07Joe Rogan?

  I see what you're saying.

• 24:07Speaker 03

  So when, when you find, he called them needs. I couldn't find a better.

• 24:14Joe Rogan?

  No, it's, that, that makes more sense now. Yeah, I get it. Yeah, um, it's, uh, I, I feel like the most important thing about comedy is you have to be actually, excuse me, you have to actually be interested in what you're talking about. Obviously, it has to be funny. That's the most important thing. But other than that, the second most important thing, or the thing that like really resonates with people, is, uh, when someone's on stage, and they're talking about something that means something to them.

• 24:37Speaker 03

  Right.

• 24:37Joe Rogan?

  I get invested.

• 24:38Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 24:39Joe Rogan?

  I'm invested in people that are fascinated with stuff. I'm invested with people that are, that have like hobbies that they love. Even if I'm, I have no interest in it at all.

• 24:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:49Joe Rogan?

  I wanna hear them talk about it.

• 24:50Speaker 03

  Exactly. Exactly. And I, I totally, that's, you found that, whatever you wanna call it, desire, need, whatever you wanna call it, but whoever zooms in on that and understands it, they're, they're successful in what they do. So in marriage, uh, my focus switched from us, the cold war between countries, to cold war between couples. And, uh, understanding that men and women are different is, uh, very important because they have different needs. And so part of my dissertation was to, uh, to give

• 25:30Speaker 03

  that understanding. So then, the person is not like searching, it doesn't know what he's looking for. There, I'm, I'm married, and I'm happily married now, and my main goal is to figure out what does my wife need. And if I can anticipate it, then we have love and laughter, and it's living there. But if I don't, or if she doesn't, then we start arguing, and that happens in every family.

• 26:01Joe Rogan?

  Hmm.

• 26:02Speaker 03

  So, I'm easier, so there, there's a book by Dr. Willard Harley called His Needs, Her Needs. And what he did, um, he was dealing with a lot of couples that was getting a divorce, and he was trying to help them in marriage counseling. And he asked, uh, uh, he identified like 10 emotional needs, and he asked, um, these, uh, people to prioritize men and women. And it was interesting that he said, I was shocked that five top needs for men were totally

• 26:42Speaker 03

  different from five top needs for women. So if we don't know that, so the, the needs for women were affection, conversation, openness and honesty, family commitment, and financial support. Not for every woman, but that was majority. And then for men, it was sexual fulfillment, it was admiration, um, sexual fulfillment again, um, it's, but it was admiration, um, attractive spouse, recreational companion, and domestic support.

• 27:18Joe Rogan?

  Makes men found, seen really base.

• 27:20Speaker 03

  They are.

• 27:21Joe Rogan?

  Base and stupid.

• 27:22Speaker 03

  We are.

• 27:22Joe Rogan?

  That sexual attraction is number uno.

• 27:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:26Joe Rogan?

  And then it's in there, how's it in there twice? That doesn't make any sense.

• 27:29Speaker 03

  I just, I was.

• 27:29Joe Rogan?

  You just fucked it up?

• 27:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, I, no, I was joking.

• 27:31Joe Rogan?

  Did you joke around?

• 27:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, I was joking around.

• 27:32Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, that's funny. Like admiration's a funny one. That's funny.

• 27:36Speaker 03

  Admiration is huge.

• 27:37Joe Rogan?

  That's hilarious.

• 27:38Speaker 03

  I, I ask.

• 27:39Joe Rogan?

  You need admiration from your wife. That's hilarious.

• 27:41Speaker 03

  Well, but it's not, because if you, if you think, if you think that, uh, I ask the audience, so here is what I do in my show.

• 27:50Joe Rogan?

  Uh huh.

• 27:50Speaker 03

  Uh, and it's, they're laughing, but they're also learning something. I say, "How many of you gentlemen here, at least once in a while, would like to hear your wife said, 'You're such a good man. Thanks for, um, doing things for us. Applaud.'" And few people applaud. And I go, "Well, not every man is applauding, because they're scared." And they laugh. And then I go, "So let me ask you the same question from an opposite point of view. Any of you gentlemen disagree with that?" Silence. Then I go, "You see, ladies, you used to do it. You, you don't do it now, but you used to do it in the beginning.

• 28:31Speaker 03

  That's what that attraction was, is, was the man needed that. And women don't. They don't wanna be acknowledged or, uh, admired for what they do. They wanna be loved for who they are. Kind, beautiful, smart, selfless." And I, I ask women, "Is that true?" And they applaud. So it, so, and it, it's subconscious, but I know for me, that's a very important thing, that if I'm doing something, all I need is like, "Thank you." And sometimes it's overlooked, and that doesn't feel right.

• 29:08Joe Rogan?

  That's interesting. It, it definitely resonates that men don't necessarily care if a woman does a thing. Like, if she's really good at a thing.

• 29:17Speaker 03

  Right.

• 29:17Joe Rogan?

  Like, men, I, I mean, I mean, this is obviously a great generalization, because there are probably some men.

• 29:23Speaker 03

  It is, of course.

• 29:23Joe Rogan?

  That one of the things that they love is the talent that a woman possesses, or the drive and.

• 29:28Speaker 03

  Absolutely.

• 29:29Joe Rogan?

  But for the most part, what men want is someone to be nice. Be nice and be pretty. Like, my friends have joked around about this before, my single friends about, like, "I don't give a fuck if a girl works at McDonald's. Is she nice? Is she pretty? And is she nice?" You know? And is she not like completely annoying to talk to? Is she fun to talk to? Well, like, you don't care what her job is. If she's cool and she's fun, but a woman meeting a cool, good-looking guy that's nice, that works at McDonald's, like, you fucking loser. You know, unfortunate. No, no shame to the people who work at McDonald's. I'd worked fast food when I was younger, too. I did, uh, I worked at a couple, the first place I worked at was a burger place called Newport Creamery. I worked at a place called Papa

• 30:11Joe Rogan?

  Gino's. It was like an Italian fast food place. Nothing wrong with working at McDonald's. Point is, women don't respect it, for whatever reason. Especially the women that wanna have a family and settle down and all that jazz. They look at a guy working at McDonald's like, "You don't have any ambition." And that's the thing that women, uh, want from men, that men don't seem to really care that much from women. Women want a guy that has ambition, and men do not care.

• 30:38Speaker 03

  Right.

• 30:38Joe Rogan?

  Generally. Although, I gotta say, Phil Hartman, when he obviously did not have a good marriage, because his wife killed him, and then killed herself, obviously didn't have a good marriage, right?

• 30:50Speaker 03

  Not, not.

• 30:51Joe Rogan?

  Um, when, he had almost got divorced a few times. And one, I remember one, one time, he and I were having a conversation about it, and he said, he goes, he goes, "If I fucking get divorced," he goes, "my next wife, she has to like something." He goes, "I don't give a fuck what it is. I don't care. It's a rock climbing. You have to be into something." So that was his thing, was like that, he was really into things. Like, he, uh, got his pilot's license. Like, the place that I actually bought in California, I found out about that part of California because of him, because he took me up in a plane. And he was explaining to me, like, "There's other counties that you could live in, and these counties, like, they have land that's like your, yeah, it's a drive, but it's like more peaceful and relaxed. You don't have to be like in the heart of

• 31:34Joe Rogan?

  everything." Um, so he was, he was into being a pilot. He, he had, like, he played music. He always had a bunch of different interests that he was pursuing, on top of being an actor and being a comedic actor. And so he was really frustrated, one of the things he was frustrated is that his wife didn't have any ambition. She didn't have any interests.

• 31:57Speaker 03

  Well, but she also probably didn't admire him for what his accomplishments were.

• 32:03Joe Rogan?

  I think she wanted to be famous as well. And we probably shouldn't talk about this too much, but, and I think there was probably some resentment at his success. I think she was trying to be famous as well.

• 32:13Speaker 03

  Well, that's like those magnets repel.

• 32:15Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Well, it's like sometimes when a couple, I've seen it the opposite. Like a friend of mine, she was dating this guy who was a comedian. And when she started doing well, he started getting really shitty with her. He, he started getting very resentful and he would be insulting. And she could tell that there was, she was, he was not happy that she was doing well.

• 32:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:33Joe Rogan?

  Cause she started to take off, he wasn't.

• 32:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:35Joe Rogan?

  And it was like, he was very frustrated and they broke up. And she was like, that always really hurt. Cause I really felt like if I was doing well, if he loved me, he was, he was gonna be happy too. And he wasn't happy.

• 32:46Speaker 03

  It, it's nice if this was discussed in the beginning of the relationship.

• 32:51Joe Rogan?

  Well, sometimes a man doesn't know and the woman doesn't know how they're gonna behave. You don't know what your character flaws are until you're presented by something that tests you.

• 32:58Speaker 03

  Absolutely, absolutely. So my, my goal was to understand it better. And there's a painting I sent Jamie if you, I painted this painting that kind of helped me, if you can find it, it's a tree of love. And it helped me to understand better, better what my role is. Because my first marriage, I did not know what my role was. I was, I, I met a woman, an American girl, beautiful. Everything was great. When I shook her hand or she shook my hand, she almost broke my hand.

• 33:38Speaker 03

  And my, my subconscious was like, my mother was very strong in my parents' relationship. Mom was the leader and dad was creative, wonderful man, but he would follow her. And I subconsciously went with that, that script, that manuscript of my life. And so this helped me to see something that I wanted, who do I want to be? I wanted to be that strong man who is able to give life to a woman that she can be free,

• 34:20Speaker 03

  creative, bring our, you know, fruit, children, so she doesn't have to worry about that. In my previous marriage, I didn't understand that. So on stage, I came across like, I was this, you know, strong guy who was invited to the White House to perform. I was, you know, I was commanding a big group, 2,000, 3,000 people. And she saw that. And then in the relationship, I became like, now she knows what to do. I don't have to do anything. So I said, I do, and I didn't do it.

• 35:02Speaker 03

  I didn't know what it was, what my role was. So it took me 20 years and all of that education to get to that place that who do I want to become to attract a woman that wants to be in that role?

• 35:19Joe Rogan?

  Damn dude, you thought about this shit deep.

• 35:21Speaker 03

  I did.

• 35:22Joe Rogan?

  You were going through it, man.

• 35:23Speaker 03

  I gotta tell you.

• 35:24Joe Rogan?

  You were going through it, cause you're going through that, which is always a bummer for people, especially with children, when you're getting divorced. But then on top of that, your career goes away, cause the Soviet Union collapsed.

• 35:34Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 35:35Joe Rogan?

  And then you said, fuck it. That's very admirable. You said, fuck it, I'm gonna get educated and figure out what's wrong with me and what's, what's, you know?

• 35:42Speaker 03

  Yes, yeah. And I don't know if you have a picture of my, my wife and, and the kids, and the kid. Now I'm 75 and I have a one-year-old.

• 35:50Joe Rogan?

  What?

• 35:51Speaker 03

  Yes, I, I know.

• 35:52Joe Rogan?

  When did you get married? How long did you?

• 35:54Speaker 03

  Seven, seven years ago. So this is.

• 35:56Joe Rogan?

  So you spent like 20 years single?

• 35:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:59Joe Rogan?

  Just trying to figure yourself out?

• 36:00Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 36:00Joe Rogan?

  Damn, man. You went on a walk through the wilderness.

• 36:03Speaker 03

  I went all Tony Robbins.

• 36:04Joe Rogan?

  What?

• 36:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, all of his trainings. I mean, I needed to become, I wasn't that strong person. I was more like my dad and I needed to become who I wanted to be. I wanted a woman to trust me that I can sustain no matter what. And I have a feeling there's my wife and.

• 36:27Joe Rogan?

  Did you meet your wife in Missouri?

• 36:28Speaker 03

  No, she is from Ukraine. That's an interesting.

• 36:33Joe Rogan?

  You have a one-year-old? Dude, it's time to get you on some peptides. All right, we gotta, that's crazy. You're 75, you have a one-year-old?

• 36:39Speaker 03

  I do.

• 36:40Joe Rogan?

  We, we gotta go to work on you. We gotta keep you alive. That's, that's nuts.

• 36:46Speaker 03

  It's, it's wonderful.

• 36:47Joe Rogan?

  You're almost 20 years old to me and you have a one-year-old. That's crazy.

• 36:50Speaker 03

  Well, I'm, I'm, I'm excited. I'm excited because I figured that I figured out something. So the way, so I was, you'll, you'll get a kick out of it. So I was married to an American woman, then I was dating other women, wasn't, wasn't happening. So I took my kids, grown kids to Ukraine and I wanted them to show, I'm from Odessa, all right? So when there with them, they were like probably in their twenties.

• 37:29Speaker 03

  And so, and on the way back, I forgot my passport on the plane from Odessa to Kiev and I had to stay behind for a day to get a temporary passport. So I went to a park and I was waiting for this and, and I see this lunchtime and this gorgeous women are going to lunch and back and, and, and they're like, I feel like I'm in Paris watching a runway show. I mean, it's like beautiful women and, and I'm going, I, I'm, I can relate to that. I would like one of those women.

• 38:09Joe Rogan?

  Wait a minute, but how old are you at this time?

• 38:11Speaker 03

  That was 10 years ago, so 65.

• 38:15Joe Rogan?

  And how old are these ladies?

• 38:18Speaker 03

  Well, my wife is 42, so, but in, in their, in their twenties, thirties.

• 38:25Joe Rogan?

  42 and 75 doesn't seem offensive, for whatever reason. You know what I mean? Like 20 and what would be the equivalent? This episode is brought to you by Traeger. Food cooked over real wood is just on another level. And that's why Traeger is such a game changer. Their grills run on real hardwood pellets, so everything gets that legit wood-fired flavor. Whether you're grilling steaks, smoking ribs, cooking chicken, or even baking a pizza, you just set your temperature, put your food in, and let Traeger handle the rest. It's simple. If you like food that tastes like it came off a real fire without all the work, check out Traeger grills. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.

• 39:10Joe Rogan?

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• 39:53Joe Rogan?

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• 40:08Speaker 03

  Well, I wasn't looking, I, I wasn't looking, I wasn't a playboy. I was looking for a wife.

• 40:12Joe Rogan?

  I believe you.

• 40:13Speaker 03

  I had a.

• 40:14Joe Rogan?

  But women don't care about that. If they find out that a man is like that much older than a woman, they kinda get upset.

• 40:19Speaker 03

  Well, it probably, that culture is a little bit different than American culture. And so what I did, I said, okay, how do I do that? So I went to Ukraine and I tried to meet women through like agencies that introduce people. It wasn't working a couple of times. Then I decided I'm gonna just hire three different agencies at the same time and I'm just gonna go for two weeks and I had 51 dates.

• 40:50Joe Rogan?

  So you went to Ukraine just to meet a woman?

• 40:52Speaker 03

  I went to look for a wife. It wasn't a woman.

• 40:56Joe Rogan?

  Right, but I mean, it has to be a woman, right?

• 40:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so, uh, yes, so that's what happened. And I would just have breakfast, lunch and dinner with different ladies. And it didn't take me very long because I had all that training and education. I was new and I was looking for a woman who has a father that is really good for her. I mean, I, I knew that if the father, if they're afraid of masculine energy, if they're been with the abusive dad or something is not right, they will not trust my energy.

• 41:40Speaker 03

  And that was for the handshake, I could tell pretty much if that woman and, and all 51 dates were, I, it didn't work. I mean, I just knew in a couple of seconds that it wasn't right, but then I have to eat. You know, so I gained weight just because I, I had to eat all this time, three meals a day and anyway.

• 42:02Joe Rogan?

  You were going out with three different girls a day to try to find a wife?

• 42:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:06Joe Rogan?

  That sounds kind of crazy.

• 42:09Speaker 03

  Well, it, so then.

• 42:11Joe Rogan?

  That's a little crazy.

• 42:12Speaker 03

  So then, so then I go, it didn't work, right? So what do I do? So now I, I decide I'm going to do a seminar in Kiev on relationships because I was teaching at Missouri State University at that time. So professor from America is going to teach this course on the relationships and laughter, right? That was my hook and I figured.

• 42:39Joe Rogan?

  But you did this all just to meet women?

• 42:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, yes, I did. Well, I'm, I'm not, I'm, I, I'm not ashamed of it because I was, I was very focused.

• 42:49Joe Rogan?

  It's pragmatic.

• 42:50Speaker 03

  Very focused.

• 42:51Joe Rogan?

  A good strategy.

• 42:52Speaker 03

  Very focused.

• 42:53Joe Rogan?

  It seems like the same strategy that led you to like serve breakfast in Branson. You're an industrious guy.

• 42:59Speaker 03

  Get out of the Soviet Union.

• 43:00Joe Rogan?

  You find solutions.

• 43:01Speaker 03

  Exactly, exactly. So then, so then I, I need somebody to promote this and to find the venue and bring women. But the, the logic was, the logic was that the women who will come to a seminar are different kind of women that go to those agencies. Those agencies, they're hunting for somebody from outside the country. They're looking for somebody. These women were just wanted to know more about relationship and.

• 43:35Joe Rogan?

  So what do you mean they're hunting for someone outside the country? So they're trying to escape Ukraine?

• 43:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:39Joe Rogan?

  That's what they're doing. So they're trying to find a husband that's going to take them out of there.

• 43:44Speaker 03

  Exactly, exactly. So they're more in a masculine energy, they're more like, I'm going to get somebody. And I wasn't into that. I wasn't interested. So someone recommended this lady who can do this, promote this. And it was my future wife. It was my Olivia, who I'm now married to. And when I met her and she promoted this, I already knew that I didn't need the seminar. I just, I met somebody that I really wanted to, to be with. And it didn't, it wasn't immediate because we're age difference. So at first I was like, what? What are you talking about?

• 44:29Speaker 03

  And I wasn't, I was just professional and doing this professionally, but little by little we started learning about each other. And then I, I invited her to America, proposed to her on her birthday and had her balloon ride. I mean, I was, you know.

• 44:50Joe Rogan?

  Very romantic.

• 44:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, that way she, she could not get out that way. I could give her that.

• 44:57Joe Rogan?

  Wow.

• 44:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 44:58Joe Rogan?

  See, that is a creepy place to propose.

• 45:00Speaker 03

  To propose, well.

• 45:01Joe Rogan?

  Like you're already scared, you're scared. You're going to take care of me, please?

• 45:06Joe Rogan?

  Oh, get this thing down to the ground.

• 45:08Speaker 03

  I put a big, big banner on the ground, will you marry me?

• 45:11Joe Rogan?

  Aww.

• 45:12Speaker 03

  Uh, and, and she didn't know how to read English, so she.

• 45:16Joe Rogan?

  That's hilarious.

• 45:17Speaker 03

  She did not say yes. Uh, and then, then I opened the ring and, you know, and then she said yes, so.

• 45:26Joe Rogan?

  Um, does she speak Russian? Is that what they speak in Ukraine?

• 45:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:29Joe Rogan?

  Primarily?

• 45:30Speaker 03

  Primarily.

• 45:31Joe Rogan?

  Is there a Ukrainian language?

• 45:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, there is, there is. That's the tension between two sides of Ukraine. One is very Western, very Ukrainian. The other one is Russian speaking and they, Russian speaking don't mind the, the other side, the other side does mind, so, yeah.

• 45:51Joe Rogan?

  Got it, got it, got it. Well, it's like, what was it like starting out doing stand-up in the Soviet Union? That's where you started, right?

• 46:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, I did.

• 46:01Joe Rogan?

  How old were you?

• 46:01Speaker 03

  I was 15.

• 46:03Joe Rogan?

  And what is it like over there when you're 15? Is there like a, a version of The Tonight Show in Russia?

• 46:09Speaker 03

  Well, no, it's a lot, at those days, you know, uh, it was very structured, very Communist Party controlled. So there was only like two comedians in the whole country that were government approved. So they, they would be on the radio and television and nobody else was really doing comedy, so.

• 46:37Joe Rogan?

  What were the comedians like?

• 46:38Speaker 03

  Do, first of all, what were their names?

• 46:41Joe Rogan?

  What were their names?

• 46:42Speaker 03

  Uh, Arkady Rykin, you could probably Google him, Arkady Rykin. He was the main guy that I would listen to and in each, each apartment, there would be a little speaker that would be on all the time so they could brainwash you.

• 47:01Joe Rogan?

  Whoa, you had a speaker in your apartment all the time?

• 47:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 47:07Joe Rogan?

  Wow.

• 47:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, so, so, but then on Sunday mornings.

• 47:12Joe Rogan?

  This is what, 66?

• 47:14Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah, yeah, I'm 51, so yeah, yeah, that's about that time. Yeah, that was the guy, yeah.

• 47:23Joe Rogan?

  Wow, that was the guy.

• 47:25Speaker 03

  Very famous. Uh, the only people from America that we saw were Charlie Chaplin and that's it.

• 47:33Joe Rogan?

  Just Charlie Chaplin?

• 47:35Speaker 03

  Charlie Chaplin.

• 47:35Joe Rogan?

  So you thought America was just silent movies?

• 47:37Speaker 03

  Well, they, they, they portrayed it.

• 47:41Joe Rogan?

  Wow, he even had a, he did a Charlie Chaplin impersonation?

• 47:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:44Joe Rogan?

  Wow.

• 47:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, so.

• 47:48Joe Rogan?

  But he's got wacky wigs and shit?

• 47:50Speaker 03

  I would listen to his, so every other Sunday or every once a month, he would have a different monologue that was written and approved by the Communist Party. Yeah, so I was really into it. So I would record it and we had the big tape recorder like this and I would record it and I would memorize it. And because there was nothing to be approved, because it's already been approved, then I would go to like a club in my, um, uh, school and I would tell jokes, his jokes. And people knew that it was his jokes, but they would, they would laugh.

• 48:33Speaker 03

  And that's how I got my understanding that I really wanted to do that.

• 48:40Joe Rogan?

  Wow.

• 48:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, and, and little by little, then I went to military and I did that there, kind of as an amateur. And then, uh.

• 48:51Joe Rogan?

  So you just, you did stand-up for the military?

• 48:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, but it would be just like holidays, like if it was May Day or.

• 49:00Joe Rogan?

  Like an event?

• 49:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, October Revolution, they would look to me to, to entertain. So I would do that. And then I went to, came out of military, went to college for art degree. My parents didn't think that I could do anything. Comedy would not be like, nobody even thought that that's even a possibility. And so, um, I kept doing it and then start working on a Soviet cruise ships. Uh, and they, they had in the Black Sea, Soviet cruise ships. So I went, uh, they asked me to go and perform there on the cruise ship. Yeah, you're, you're like, really?

• 49:45Joe Rogan?

  Wow.

• 49:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, so it was.

• 49:48Joe Rogan?

  How old were you at the time?

• 49:49Speaker 03

  I was 20, 21.

• 49:52Joe Rogan?

  Okay.

• 49:53Speaker 03

  Yeah. Um, now I'm getting paid and I'm getting, um, a cabin and now prior to that, I lived in a communal apartment with my parents in the same room till I was 26 years old.

• 50:07Joe Rogan?

  Whoa.

• 50:08Speaker 03

  So, yeah, so no phone, uh, nine families.

• 50:12Joe Rogan?

  What if your parents wanted to get frisky? They'd tell you to go for a walk?

• 50:15Speaker 03

  They would go look out the window, you know?

• 50:17Joe Rogan?

  Go look out the window?

• 50:19Speaker 03

  Well, I, I joke about this and then, yeah, and then, and then they say, what do you see? What do you see in the window?

• 50:26Joe Rogan?

  I might jump out that fucking window.

• 50:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, and they say, what do you see in the window? I said, our neighbors being frisky. And they say, how can you tell? I said, because their son is looking at me. So that's the joke I tell. But that was my life. And here, all of the sudden, I'm introduced to this. So tourists from other countries would take those cruises around Black Sea. And all of the sudden, I'm introduced to this group of people that I was not allowed to talk to. Foreigners, we were not allowed to even communicate.

• 51:05Joe Rogan?

  What countries were they from?

• 51:06Speaker 03

  Germany, Britain, some Americans, some Australians, Yugoslavians, whatever, from Soviet Bloc. And

• 51:19Joe Rogan?

  And was, who was the president of, or the?

• 51:22Speaker 03

  Brezhnev. Brezhnev was the president at that time, yeah. And so I started, so I did one week of performances. And then they said, would you like to stay on board? And I said, I said, can I bring my parents with me? Can we give another cabin for them? And they said, no, you don't get any special privileges. We have hundreds of people like you, get out. And I was like, okay. So I left. And a couple of hours later, a messenger comes.

• 52:02Speaker 03

  We have no phones, so it's like messenger comes and brings two sets of, sets of tickets for me and my parents. And I never heard that it's even possible, like that they would go back on their word. So I go on the cruise and, and I go to a cruise director, I said, what happened? And he said, well, here's what happened. These ships normally are rented to European companies for like nine months out of the year. And we learned from them that if somebody is valuable, we give them more perks.

• 52:44Speaker 03

  The captain liked your performance, and he told them, the company, that even if you have to give him my own cabin, I want him on the ship. And the light bulb went in my head. I said, wait a minute, wait a minute. Are you saying that in capitalistic world, if you're more talented, you get more things? And they go, yeah. That was, it's hard to imagine. It was like, changed my life.

• 53:15Joe Rogan?

  Well, it's hard to imagine for people that didn't grow up in the environment that you grew up with a speaker in your apartment.

• 53:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:22Joe Rogan?

  Like, just you saying that to me, my mind is rattled. I was like, oh, my God. Like, they could just broadcast in your apartment anytime they wanted.

• 53:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:30Joe Rogan?

  What a great way to brainwash people.

• 53:32Speaker 03

  And they would jam like, because we had a big radio, and they would jam Voice of America. But my dad would wake up like in the middle of the night, he was wanting to know what's happening out there. And he would sit there and listen to that quietly. And I remember as a kid, I asked dad, what are you listening to in the middle of the night? And he goes, shh, don't let neighbors hear us. This is Voice of America. We're not allowed to listen to it.

• 54:05Joe Rogan?

  Wow. So you had to keep it secret?

• 54:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, but at nighttime

• 54:09Joe Rogan?

  How did he listen to it?

• 54:10Speaker 03

  Just quiet, just sat there.

• 54:12Joe Rogan?

  Right, but if they jammed it, how did he listen to it?

• 54:14Speaker 03

  No, they would jam it during the day.

• 54:17Joe Rogan?

  Oh.

• 54:18Speaker 03

  But at nighttime, they didn't think anybody would wake up at three o'clock in the morning and sit there and listen to it.

• 54:23Joe Rogan?

  How do they jam it?

• 54:24Speaker 03

  It's just, I don't know, some kind of

• 54:27Joe Rogan?

  Say that again?

• 54:28Speaker 03

  Yeah. I don't know.

• 54:30Joe Rogan?

  So they had some way to jam that signal?

• 54:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, oh, yeah.

• 54:34Joe Rogan?

  Whatever signal was on?

• 54:35Speaker 03

  Exactly, exactly, yeah. It's shortwave, so it goes in and out anyway.

• 54:39Joe Rogan?

  What did he get out of listening to Voice of America? Like, what was he, does he, did he talk about it?

• 54:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. I would then start also waking up and listening. And it would be just standard American thing, give me you're tired, you're hungry, you're poor, something like that. And, you know, and they would, that there's a Statue of Liberty waiting to greet you if you come to the United States. And he would always say, you know, this, this would be something that I would love you to experience. And, and my mom was, she hated that because she was afraid that we'll get in trouble. And so she didn't want to even talk about this.

• 55:26Speaker 03

  So if I drew a picture as a kid, I would draw a picture of Statue of Liberty. And she would like, don't do that. Don't let anybody see this. We'll get in trouble. And when, after I experienced the cruises and got to know this different environment, I came home and I go, Mom, Dad, I think we should consider, try to get out. And Mom was like mad at my dad. And my dad stood up, which was good for him at that time. Normally, he would just be quiet. But he said to my mom, Clara, don't you, would you like your son, when he is my age,

• 56:09Speaker 03

  sit there by the radio and listen to Voice of America, hoping, wishing that he would be doing something like that? Or would you like him to be in America doing this? And my mom kind of went, you know what's gonna happen when we apply for a visa? People who are, consider your friends, they will cross the street and they will not want to talk to you and be seen with you, and you're gonna go for hell. And, and, and, and my dad said, yeah, we will. And she said, well, if you're willing to do it, so, so am I.

• 56:52Joe Rogan?

  And that's all you had to do is apply for a visa?

• 56:55Speaker 03

  Well, what was happening at that time, Jimmy Carter was the president here, and he wanted to see some human rights in the Soviet Union. And the Soviet leadership was, they were starving. They didn't have food, so they needed food from America. So Jimmy Carter made a deal that we're, we're gonna give you grain and you allow people to get out. And that's how we, we were kind of exchanged for some wheat, you know? That's how we got out.

• 57:32Joe Rogan?

  Wow. Holy shit, man.

• 57:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 57:36Joe Rogan?

  Just, you sometimes need to be reminded how fortunate you are. You know, Americans in particular, we're very, you know, it's not our fault. People become accustomed to where they live.

• 57:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:52Joe Rogan?

  And they think this is normal, which is one of the reasons why this push towards communism amongst young people is so infuriating to me. It's like, I understand that it comes from this desire for empathy and kindness. I get that. The idea of socialism comes from an idea of empathy and kindness, that you want, you think the world would be better if we all shared, and that why are there's people that are so rich and people that are so poor? And you're right. But the solution is not to make the government decide who gets what. Because they never decide the right way. They, they do what people do. What people do when they have power is they enact total control over the population so that they can maintain power.

• 58:35Joe Rogan?

  And then they live in luxury, and then you wait in line for bread. And that's how it is all over the fucking world. And if you step out of line, they shoot you.

• 58:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:43Joe Rogan?

  That's where communism goes. So what we need is like a more, a more moral and ethical version of capitalism. So we need capitalism, but with empathy. Capitalism, but with philanthropy, like real philanthropy, not like scams where you find out that 90% of the money is actually going to all the people that work there and the small. We need to figure out a way to be more empathetic as a culture, but recognize that the pursuit of freedom and the ability to have freedom is so huge, and it's such a great gift. We're so lucky that we have this experiment in self-government that is the United States of America. And that we were, that at least I was born here.

• 59:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:23Joe Rogan?

  We're lucky as shit, you know? And you don't throw that away because it's not good enough.

• 59:27Speaker 03

  Right.

• 59:28Joe Rogan?

  Don't throw that away because it's not, it's not perfect. You're not gonna get perfect with human beings. But this is the best system. Is it corrupt? A hundred percent. Yeah, that should be fixed. The corruption should be fixed, and guardrails should be put in place, and maybe more regulations in regard to some things should be put in place. But the purpose of this whole thing is to allow people to have freedom, to do whatever they want. And that's not ubiquitous in the world. That's not everywhere. This episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter. People can get pretty creative when it comes to job hunting, like creating interactive portfolios online. Or have you ever heard about the person who handed in a resume on a custom candy wrapper?

• 1:00:12Joe Rogan?

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• 1:00:57Speaker 03

  No, no. And I've been, I've been kind of a poster boy child for American dream in a way.

• 1:01:05Joe Rogan?

  Look at your phone. Look at that phone case. If I had that on, people would call me a fascist.

• 1:01:14Joe Rogan?

  We have an American flag.

• 1:01:15Speaker 03

  In Branson, yeah, in Branson, that's, that's not.

• 1:01:18Joe Rogan?

  That, that flag to me doesn't represent whoever is, it didn't represent Biden when he was in office. It didn't represent Obama. It didn't represent Trump. It, it, that represents all of us, right and left, independent, black, white, Asian, Russian, fill, fill in the blanks, Filipino, everybody from everywhere. Who cares? It's America. It's America. This is the great melting pot. And that's, that's how we really should be. And that flag shouldn't represent, some people think the flag represents racism or colonialism. Like, come on, stop. That flag represents hope. And if you were a kid like Yakov Smirnoff, is that your real name?

• 1:01:56Speaker 03

  No, no.

• 1:01:57Joe Rogan?

  What's the real name?

• 1:01:58Speaker 03

  Pokhys.

• 1:01:58Joe Rogan?

  Say that again?

• 1:01:59Speaker 03

  That's why.

• 1:02:02Speaker 03

  Pokhys, P-O-K-H-I-S, is my real name. But I was a bartender, bar boy at first when I came here. And I, my first job was a bar boy in the Grossinger's Hotel in the Catskills.

• 1:02:19Joe Rogan?

  Oh, wow.

• 1:02:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:02:21Joe Rogan?

  What year was this?

• 1:02:22Speaker 03

  Seventy-seven.

• 1:02:23Joe Rogan?

  Who did you get to see perform there?

• 1:02:25Speaker 03

  Oh, Freddie Roman, Eddie Fisher. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:02:31Joe Rogan?

  Freddie Roman, old school, baby.

• 1:02:33Speaker 03

  Old school. I was learning.

• 1:02:34Joe Rogan?

  Red Skelton, did you see those guys?

• 1:02:35Speaker 03

  Uh huh, I did. Later, later in Atlantic City, but yeah, yeah. I, I was learning English. I was, um, learning about Chappaquiddick or stuff like that. I was like, what is that? You know, so I was, I was definitely learning English there.

• 1:02:56Joe Rogan?

  Have you ever seen the television show on Amazon, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel?

• 1:03:01Speaker 03

  Mm-mm.

• 1:03:02Joe Rogan?

  It's really good, man. Yeah, the first scene, the first season, rather, is incredible. It's about a, a young woman who's married and decides to become a stand-up comedian. Like, she's married, with kids, the whole deal, and she decides to do stand-up. And part of what she does, she does some stand-up, like in the Catskills.

• 1:03:22Speaker 03

  Interesting.

• 1:03:23Joe Rogan?

  And like, that is, for people that don't know stand-up, there's, like, stand-up comedy as an art form is a very new art form, very new, in terms of human history.

• 1:03:34Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:03:34Joe Rogan?

  It's only existed, like, in this form that we call stand-up. We have comedy clubs and stuff like that. It's only existed like that since the sixties.

• 1:03:41Speaker 03

  It's true. It's, it's, Wadville pretty much started that, right?

• 1:03:45Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:46Speaker 03

  Uh, it's a different form, uh, but that was, I was learning from those jokes.

• 1:03:52Joe Rogan?

  But a big part of it was the Catskills.

• 1:03:53Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:03:53Joe Rogan?

  A big part of it because people from New York and Pennsylvania, they would, they'd go into the Poconos and the Catskills, and they would do that on summer vacation. And people would get jobs there, and comedians would go and book themselves at these places. It was a big deal.

• 1:04:09Speaker 03

  It was, it was. And I, I didn't know, um, about that.

• 1:04:14Joe Rogan?

  So you just got a job there, just out of fortune?

• 1:04:18Speaker 03

  Well, how it happened, I, I decided I needed to learn English. I didn't speak English, right? So to, to start with. So how do I learn English? And I, I thought, maybe if I can be a bartender, because in the cruise ships, bar was in the same, uh, proximity as the stage was. So I figured it's the same people coming to enjoy evening, and I can talk to them individually and learn English. That was my clever idea, right? And so I went and got, uh, a bartending, it's called degree of mixology. Uh, in New York, there was a, a makeshift school on Fifth Avenue.

• 1:05:01Speaker 03

  Uh, two weeks, uh, $200, and you get a degree of, of being a mixologist. And I don't speak English, but I collected that's $200, got the degree. So, and they promised you to get a job, right? So first job, they get, got me, uh, there was a restaurant in Lincoln Center called Monk's Inn. And it was, uh, you, you dress as a monk, and it's a French restaurant. And you don't have to speak. You're a waiter, but you don't have to speak. It was perfect. Um, and then, uh, I, at the same school said, they're requesting some, uh, bar boy

• 1:05:43Speaker 03

  in, uh, the Catskills at the Grossinger's Hotel. And I didn't know anything about it. And I, uh, on my day off, I went upstate New York and went, walked into this place, and it was gorgeous. It was a beautiful bar, like an 18 bartenders or whatever. It's huge. And then 2,000-seat, uh, theater. And when I saw it, it, my, in my brain, I said, I don't care what they pay me. I want to work here.

• 1:06:16Joe Rogan?

  Hmm.

• 1:06:17Speaker 03

  And so I, um, I took that job and, uh, actually, I, I was, I was nervous because I didn't know that I can quit the other job because they just gave it to me like a week ago. And, right? And so I go back and I'm so nervous. I go to the manager, I go, um, I, I know this is, you gave me a break, but there is an opportunity here. And, and he said, Yakov, um, it's America. You should take the opportunity. And if you ever need the job, you get it here. And I was like Rocky. I was like, da da da da da.

• 1:07:00Joe Rogan?

  Was he calling you Rocko, Yakov? Or was he calling you, you'd already used that name?

• 1:07:05Speaker 03

  Yakov is my real name. Yakov is my real name.

• 1:07:08Joe Rogan?

  But you said it wasn't your real name?

• 1:07:09Speaker 03

  Pokhys, Pokhys is my last name.

• 1:07:11Joe Rogan?

  Oh, okay.

• 1:07:12Speaker 03

  Yakov is my real name. So I took.

• 1:07:15Joe Rogan?

  Yakov Pokhys would have made it?

• 1:07:17Speaker 03

  Pokhys.

• 1:07:18Joe Rogan?

  He had to do Smirnoff?

• 1:07:19Speaker 03

  And I, and I, people could not pronounce my name. So in the bar, they would, I would see that they can say, I'll have some Smirnoff. And I'm going, hmm, maybe that's a good name. And I, and it stuck. Yakov Smirnoff became my name.

• 1:07:38Joe Rogan?

  That makes sense. But when you think about how many different people in show business changed their names back then? That was a super common thing. Like, you didn't keep the name that you were, if you had a goofy name, like Arnold Schwarzenegger was a groundbreaker. Cause he was like one of the first guys to say, regardless of whether or not you could spell my name or even say it, that's my name. I'm gonna keep that name.

• 1:07:58Speaker 03

  Right, right, right.

• 1:07:58Joe Rogan?

  So many people changed their names and made them, their names sound more appealing.

• 1:08:03Speaker 03

  Well, mine, mine kind of worked because Yak's is like jokes, Yak's. And Smirnoff kind of makes people happy.

• 1:08:12Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 1:08:13Speaker 03

  So it kind of worked.

• 1:08:14Joe Rogan?

  Oh, that's great. It's a great idea. So you're a young kid and you're at these Catskills shows. How long did you work there?

• 1:08:22Speaker 03

  Uh, not very long, but eight, maybe seven, eight months.

• 1:08:29Joe Rogan?

  And did you slowly learn English when you were working there?

• 1:08:31Speaker 03

  I was learning English and I was translating jokes and I would try them on the audience or my, my customers. And I would just tell a joke and if they laughed, then I knew that I, I, I, I'm understood. And if they didn't laugh or I didn't get a tip, then it wasn't working. So, so that was my, that was my gauge.

• 1:08:53Joe Rogan?

  And you were a busboy when you were doing this?

• 1:08:55Speaker 03

  I was a bar boy, bar boy.

• 1:08:56Joe Rogan?

  Bar boy and just.

• 1:08:57Speaker 03

  Bringing ice and mixing pina coladas, whatever.

• 1:09:01Joe Rogan?

  And then you automa, and then.

• 1:09:03Speaker 03

  Then became a bartender. And then I would ask the guy, I asked the guy who was, uh, the manager of the main room, uh, Barry Wise, his name, and he, I asked him, uh, if I could try my comedy. And, and he said, no, you can't do it in this room. But in the lobby, uh, in afternoons, they have a game with older people, Simon Says. And, uh, the, the guy who, master of ceremonies there, uh, will probably let you do a couple of minutes of stand-up.

• 1:09:49Speaker 03

  So I did, I walked on stage and I, that's a little stage in the lobby and I'm telling a couple of jokes and some woman in the back started, I thought she was laughing, it was like, huh huh huh huh. She had seizures and, and I didn't know and I'm thinking, I'm doing well and they're getting her on her knee out of there and people coming over and saying, you were killing, you were killing. I'm going, no, no, I wasn't killing. The whole thing was, but at least I told a couple of jokes and it gave me some confidence.

• 1:10:31Speaker 03

  And then I did a couple of shows in Catch a Rising Star, which wasn't very good for me.

• 1:10:39Joe Rogan?

  In New York?

• 1:10:40Speaker 03

  In New York, yeah. And then, and then I was working as a shipping manager in a company called Greeting Bells and just to make some money. And the lady said, I know somebody in Hollywood, his name is Ted Bergman, he is the producer, executive producer of Three's Company, which was a huge show at that time.

• 1:11:06Joe Rogan?

  Sure.

• 1:11:07Speaker 03

  Said, if you go to Hollywood, I can arrange a meeting. And I, I said, okay, I'll go. So I had a plan. I, I bought a ticket for 10 days to go to Hollywood, become a star and then come back to New York and buy Fifth Avenue apartment for my parents. That was my desire. It's crazy, right? But I go, okay, he is an executive producer of Three's Company, he'll put me in the show, I'll become a star right away. It, I know, it's, it's crazy, right? But I, I really was that naive, right?

• 1:11:48Speaker 03

  So I go there and Ted Bergman says, I would like to see you perform. So I need to find a spot and I go to the Comedy Store and I get on the open mic list and, and then the message comes that he is not gonna make it. But I'm already committed, so I'm doing my five minutes and, and I'm bummed because now it's day four and I'm not even close to getting a, a television show.

• 1:12:26Speaker 03

  So I'm walking away and I'm on Sunset and this girl, Chrissy, her name was Mitzi's secretary at that time, and she runs after me and she goes, Yakov, Yakov, congratulations. And I go, why? I mean, the guy didn't show up. And she goes, no, no, no, no, no, Mitzi liked you. And I go, who, who is Mitzi? I know, I know, it's silly to see in front of her portrait. And she goes, she owns the Comedy Store, go talk to her. So I go sit down next to her in that booth that is next to.

• 1:13:08Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, sure.

• 1:13:09Speaker 03

  Original room and I have no idea who I'm talking to, but, and she says, you're very funny, stay in Los Angeles, there's always place for good and different. And I'm again, I'm like, okay, I said, I, I, I'm sorry, but I, you know, I have parents in, in LA, in, in New York and I need to go back because I, they rely on me. And she goes, so what does your dad do? And I go, he's a building construction engineer.

• 1:13:51Speaker 03

  And she goes, can he be a carpenter? And I go, I think so. She goes, okay, why don't you bring him here, I'll give him a job.

• 1:14:06Joe Rogan?

  I liked your Mitzi impression, it's pretty close.

• 1:14:09Speaker 03

  And, and she says, she goes, and where do you live? I go, I, I'm staying with some friends. She goes, I have a house up the hill and you can rent a room for a hundred and twenty dollars a month if you want to.

• 1:14:27Joe Rogan?

  That was Crest Hill?

• 1:14:28Speaker 03

  Crest Hill, yeah.

• 1:14:29Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:30Speaker 03

  So I, I, I still don't know again who I'm talking to and she goes, and, and come back tomorrow and watch a regular show. So I come back.

• 1:14:44Joe Rogan?

  How old are you at this time?

• 1:14:45Speaker 03

  I'm twenty, twenty-six, twenty-seven now, yeah. So I go in, next day and I sit in the back and first person that Harris Pete, you probably remember.

• 1:15:00Joe Rogan?

  Sure.

• 1:15:01Speaker 03

  Yeah. Harris Pete introduces Robin Williams first on stage and he was, he just hit number one show on.

• 1:15:09Joe Rogan?

  Morgan Mundy?

• 1:15:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:15:11Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:12Speaker 03

  And after him is Billy Crystal, after him is David Letterman, after him is Richard Pryor.

• 1:15:19Joe Rogan?

  Wow.

• 1:15:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, it's lined up like, and I'm sitting back there and I'm going, this is day five, I'm ahead of schedule. If she likes them and she likes me, I'm staying, I don't care. And that's how it started and she gave me a job, so basically I was helping my dad as a carpenter because she wasn't, I wasn't ready to perform there really, but.

• 1:15:53Joe Rogan?

  But she believed in you.

• 1:15:54Speaker 03

  Yeah. And she gave me a break and little by little, once a month, she would say, why don't you go up and do what you, you know, and I was practicing, I would do other clubs meantime just to get better and better and better. And, and then, you know, she had been an amazing supporter, you know, and I continue, I build the, a lot in the Bella Room, I built a lot of things in, in, and she, my, my, my main job was to go to her house and Paulie was a young kid who was smoking pot and to prevent

• 1:16:36Speaker 03

  Mitzi from walking into, on him, he would take off the doorknobs of the door and he would throw them away. And my job was to go and buy door, new doorknobs and put them in. It was like a full-time job, you know? And so, yeah, she'd been a blessing, a blessing for me.

• 1:16:59Joe Rogan?

  Paulie's at the club this weekend.

• 1:17:00Speaker 03

  Oh, is that right? Oh, cool.

• 1:17:02Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, he's on the 25th.

• 1:17:03Speaker 03

  That's cool.

• 1:17:04Joe Rogan?

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• 1:19:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:19:32Joe Rogan?

  And so, how good was your English back then?

• 1:19:34Speaker 03

  It was getting better, you know?

• 1:19:37Joe Rogan?

  Were you taking courses or reading books?

• 1:19:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, I was relentless. I would, I would do whatever it takes to learn. I was, I mean, I isolated myself totally from Russian speaking, except my parents. I was speaking to them in Russian, but everybody else, I spoke in English. So it got, was getting better and better and then little by little I got, you know, kind of, Robin got me a part at Moscow on a Hudson movie. That was the first.

• 1:20:12Joe Rogan?

  This is all in the 70s, right? So this is probably like, you got, arrived there like, what, 78?

• 1:20:17Speaker 03

  Seventy-eight, yeah. And then the movie was AD, started in 82, came out in 84. So at that point, I was doing Night Court a lot, did like seven episodes. I could not get on The Tonight Show. There was a producer, Jim McCauley, who didn't think that Carson's gonna like me, right? And so I became, and he would come every day, Mitzi was very supportive of this, she would have like a showcase once a year of people for him to look at. And he would come and he would say, Carson's not gonna like, he's not gonna like, he's

• 1:21:01Speaker 03

  not gonna like. And on, on year six, he came and he said, Yakov, let's save time for one another. You'll get on that show when the hell freezes over. I swear. And I, so I started watching Weather Channel.

• 1:21:20Speaker 03

  Well, I didn't have a shot. I mean, and, and I just kind of moved on. And then I got a Miller Lite commercial, which became very popular. I don't know if you can show that, Jamie, you could probably see it. It became really big. All of a sudden, I was during Super Bowl show. And all of a sudden, people kind of got, got to know me. And I, and, and, and then Carson saw this commercial. And he told McCauley, he said, this guy is funny. How come we don't have him on? And McCauley said, oh, yeah, we were just about to get him.

• 1:22:06Speaker 03

  And so Mitzi calls me, I'm in Raleigh, North Carolina, in the club. And she calls me and, and I remember on the payphone, I call her back. And I go, what's going on? She goes, guess who, Hall? I go, who? McCauley, he's an ass, he's such an ass. He now wants you on the show right away. And my gut reaction was like, I want to tell him to go shove it. And then I go, no, no, no, I gotta. So I, I, I did the Tonight Show and Carson liked me and called me over to the couch,

• 1:22:49Speaker 03

  which was, uh huh, yeah, which was kind of a, a big deal at that time. And I, and I sat down and I said, Johnny, you know, in America, you have things we never had in Russia, like policemen have warning shots. And he almost fell off the chair. And we went to a commercial and McCauley comes over. It gets between me and Carson goes, can you do, can you do another shot like this? Like a couple of months from now? I go, when the hell freezes over? He goes, touche, touche. And I did six, seven, seven episodes of Carson.

• 1:23:33Joe Rogan?

  And people today, young people, especially listening, don't understand what a big deal it was to be on Carson. And I think the only thing that's close today is Kill Tony.

• 1:23:44Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:23:44Joe Rogan?

  Kill Tony is a place where people's careers are actually really legitimately launched. And there's a bunch of people, like Cam Patterson's on SNL now. You know, there's guys like, when we did a show, a podcast with the Black Keys, they were asking for William Montgomery to perform. Like, can we go see William Montgomery? Like, there's people that are stars from that show now.

• 1:24:05Speaker 03

  Amazing.

• 1:24:06Joe Rogan?

  It's pretty cool.

• 1:24:07Speaker 03

  I'm here with you because I did that show. And here I saw you and you invited me. So I'm very grateful to Tony that kind of got us.

• 1:24:17Joe Rogan?

  Well, Tony's done that for a lot of people. I mean, he, he's blown up Adam Ray, so many, so many of these guys. Kyle Donegan, so many of these guys have taken off because of Tony.

• 1:24:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:24:28Joe Rogan?

  It's, it's a really amazing platform because it's just, it's just comedy.

• 1:24:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:24:32Joe Rogan?

  You know?

• 1:24:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, totally, totally.

• 1:24:34Joe Rogan?

  It's like a more important platform for comedians than a regular podcast like this one. Because this podcast is not always comedy. Like, sometimes I'm talking to scientists, sometimes I'm talking, you know, talking to a lot of weird, different people.

• 1:24:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 1:24:50Joe Rogan?

  But that show is just funny. And there was nothing like that back then. So the closest thing to it was The Tonight Show. And if you got on The Tonight Show and you did stand up, I mean, that was the first time. I remember watching Richard Jenny was on The Tonight Show. And there's a bunch of other people that I saw on The Tonight Show too. But everybody would stay up late at night. And when there was a comedian on The Tonight Show, you'd get excited. Like, oh, I was a comedian.

• 1:25:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:25:14Joe Rogan?

  Let's see if they're funny. And if you were good and you were on The Tonight Show, then you could perform at clubs all over the country. And they would say, as seen on The Tonight Show. Like, oh, The Tonight Show. It was a huge deal. And if you had that credit and people had seen you.

• 1:25:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:25:29Joe Rogan?

  Also, back then, like, what were the numbers? The numbers were crazy.

• 1:25:32Speaker 03

  Thirty million.

• 1:25:33Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, because there was only four channels, three at the time, not even four. Fox didn't even exist yet. So there was three channels. And a huge percentage of the country was watching this one thing.

• 1:25:44Speaker 03

  Yes, yeah, I, I was very blessed.

• 1:25:47Joe Rogan?

  Isn't that crazy?

• 1:25:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:25:49Joe Rogan?

  Thirty million.

• 1:25:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I, one time, I offered them, he loved to do impressions of Reagan, Carson. He was, and I, I offered them to do a skit of me as an interpreter. He is Reagan and then had a Gorbachev look alike. And it was a huge hit. It was really very, very well received. So, and, and that's another interesting thing that, you know, like, when I met Reagan, I was still fairly unknown. And, and I was playing a club in Washington DC. And it was called Comedy Cafe.

• 1:26:35Speaker 03

  And, and somebody came over to me after the show. And a guy, I didn't know who he was. And he said, I'm having President Reagan and Nancy Reagan as my guests, dinner guests at my home in two weeks. I would like to invite you to be one of the guests. And I'm thinking, this guy's nuts. Who is this? You know, and he was chief editor of Washington Times newspaper. And he, the, the reason I brought this up because, so he sent me tickets. We, I come back.

• 1:27:16Speaker 03

  And then this like a scene from like a Die Hard or something. We're pulling into his house, towards his house. There's helicopter, two helicopters are hanging over the neighborhood. There's FBI everywhere and I'm going, this is gonna be a mess. You know, they're gonna, they won't let me in. I, I just didn't think it's possible. So they get him out of the car, they frisk him, they ask for his IDs. And he said, I'm the owner of the place where the president is going to dinner. And they said, we don't care. So they get him and then they shine the light. I'm sitting in, in the, in the passenger seat.

• 1:28:00Speaker 03

  And they shine the light on me. And the guy goes, Miller Lite commercial, right?

• 1:28:08Speaker 03

  Go in.

• 1:28:09Joe Rogan?

  Wow.

• 1:28:10Speaker 03

  That's how I met, that's how I met the president. And then it was, he, the moment we met each other, it's like locked in, like the same wavelength. And all of a sudden, he was like, have you heard this joke? And he starts telling me Russian jokes. And then it was back and forth. And so like eighteen people in the room. And everybody's laughing. And that's how it started that relationship.

• 1:28:37Joe Rogan?

  Wow, that's crazy.

• 1:28:40Speaker 03

  Yeah. And then, and then I get a call from his, Dana Orbacher, who was his head speechwriter. And he calls me a couple of weeks later. And he said, Reagan is gonna go to Russia to meet with Gorbachev. He is going to do a speech in front of all the Russian politicians in University of Moscow.

• 1:29:01Speaker 03

  He would like you to write some jokes for his speech. And this is like insane for me to hear this. I'm going, if something doesn't go right, I don't have any countries to go to. This is like, where am I, where am I going? Right? So.

• 1:29:21Speaker 03

  And so I, I write some jokes, they put them in the speech. And then Dana goes, do you mind looking over the speech? Because we want to make sure that the tone of the speech is right. I'm going, this is too much, this is too much responsibility. But I was honored, I, I read it. And I said, I personally don't think that the tone is correct. I think you're kind of talking down to them and they're not going to like it. And he goes, he goes, then rewrite the speech. I'm going, okay. So I just changed, I, I didn't rewrite the speech.

• 1:30:05Speaker 03

  I just changed some tone of kind of putting them on the equal level as opposed to being, talking down to the Soviet leaders. They didn't appreciate that.

• 1:30:17Joe Rogan?

  Can you explain how he was talking down?

• 1:30:20Speaker 03

  Just teaching them that capitalism is so much better than what they got. And they should switch to that form of politics as opposed to kind of appreciate what they, and their, you know, their empire at that time that is still very big. So I didn't, I, I just felt that I would be just nicer. And, and they liked it. They, they changed some of these things that, and they kept it that way. And so, I don't know how, Mitzi used to tell me, you and Reagan changed the world.

• 1:31:04Speaker 03

  I go, yeah, Mitzi, you're right. I'm just telling jokes. He goes, no, it was his secret weapon that he used to get to Gorbachev. Maybe there's some truth to that.

• 1:31:18Joe Rogan?

  Well, certainly truth in that you kind of understood how they would receive what he was saying. That he was saying something that would, they would become defensive and they would be offended by it.

• 1:31:30Speaker 03

  Exactly, exactly. Yeah, yeah, that, that was my concern that, but, you know.

• 1:31:36Joe Rogan?

  Well, you know that culture way better than anybody else.

• 1:31:38Speaker 03

  And that's what he was, he was asking me. I mean, at, at some point, he goes, how would you deal with Gorbachev? He was literally, it's like, and I'm like going, am I the most qualified person to answer this question? And he goes, you are, because you, you lived there 26 years. None of us politicians have. So he was really a very receptive to my suggestions, whatever they, you know.

• 1:32:04Joe Rogan?

  Hmm, wow, that had to be weird.

• 1:32:09Joe Rogan?

  I mean, you're talking to Ronald Reagan in the 1980s.

• 1:32:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:32:14Joe Rogan?

  Well, Mr. Gorbachev, tear down that wall.

• 1:32:18Speaker 03

  I didn't write that joke. I did not.

• 1:32:20Joe Rogan?

  No, it wasn't a joke.

• 1:32:21Speaker 03

  It wasn't a joke, yeah.

• 1:32:23Joe Rogan?

  But crazy that it actually happened.

• 1:32:25Speaker 03

  Changed the world, yeah.

• 1:32:26Joe Rogan?

  Changed the world. Literally changed the world.

• 1:32:28Speaker 03

  Changed my world, for sure.

• 1:32:29Joe Rogan?

  Unfortunately, that's what's crazy. What's crazy is like, but that was the problem with the world back then with only a few channels. They could just decide you were done, and you were done.

• 1:32:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:32:43Joe Rogan?

  I mean, that happened to a lot of, like, if actors ran afoul of certain people, you got cast out, you got blackballed, and that was it. You never worked again.

• 1:32:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:32:56Joe Rogan?

  And that happened to a lot of people, you know?

• 1:32:58Speaker 03

  Well, I'm happy that I found Branson. I'm happy that I was able to adjust, you know, and it's just like when you look at trajectory of my life, I realized that that's one of my strong skills to be able to adjust, coming, just having the idea that I will be able to do comedy in America was insane for most people.

• 1:33:27Joe Rogan?

  Well, just adjusting from the culture of living in Russia to living in America is insane, too. You made a lot of adjustments.

• 1:33:34Speaker 03

  A lot, and when we were came, because we were coming through Italy to come to America, and they would, in Italy, they kept us three months to check all the documents and make sure that we're not like Communist Party or don't have a record.

• 1:33:54Joe Rogan?

  We're not a spy.

• 1:33:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, right, right, right.

• 1:33:58Speaker 03

  And we had to survive. That was another interesting moment of our life, because we're going and they're, they wanted, they didn't want people to leave, because that looked bad for the Soviet Union. So they, they would do all the, they would only like change you a hundred dollars per person, and you're supposed to survive like three months of living in a foreign country. And so, but they would give you a list of things that you could take with you, so like a photo camera, hat, something you could sell there to live on.

• 1:34:39Speaker 03

  And, yeah, and two suitcases for each person and very strict list of things. What was an interesting kind of loophole, we found out through the grapevine, that condoms was a very expensive item in Italy for some reason. In the Soviet Union, you could buy them for a penny, and in Italy, you could sell them for a dollar. And so, my quest was, like, when I learned, and there was no restriction how many you can take with you.

• 1:35:20Speaker 03

  So I would go to each pharmacy, whatever, whatever I could get, and just, I was, you know, we got like half of the suitcase of condoms, and we put it in my mother's suitcase, so that way, hopefully, nobody's gonna ask her what, why, you know, they would be embarrassed or whatever. So they didn't ask, and we got through. And so, my job and my parents' job was to go on the open market every Saturday and Sunday and try to sell those condoms so we can pay rent and food and whatever else.

• 1:36:03Speaker 03

  So my parents, it was so funny how they transitioned. They were this, two very conservative people, and they're embarrassed, but then they realized we need money to eat, so they would, mom became pretty smart. She translated from Russian into Italian. If you don't wanna have a kid like this, and would point at me, and would hold that card and said, then buy a condom.

• 1:36:40Speaker 03

  And people would laugh. They would laugh, and they would, and they would buy two or three. It was just more of a joke, but we were, we were, you know, surviving on that for a long time.

• 1:36:53Joe Rogan?

  Wow.

• 1:36:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:36:55Joe Rogan?

  Wow.

• 1:36:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, so it was kind of bang for the buck, kind of a, you know, it was not expected, but we survived. So a lot of those moments in life, when you, I look at my life and I go, that was a survival, then coming to America and getting a job and getting to, God is, that helped you and me to become who we are. That's just God's hand on that.

• 1:37:30Joe Rogan?

  That's amazing. Yeah, you adapted, man. You adapted multiple times. That's so crazy. God, just trying to survive in Italy. You didn't speak Italian.

• 1:37:40Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:37:41Joe Rogan?

  Did you guys speak anything other than Russian?

• 1:37:43Speaker 03

  No, no, we just, but there was immigration, there was other Russian people that you could kind of communicate with, and I, I would go, even in Italy, I would go to a movie theater, and I was so determined. There was one movie theater in Rome that would, for a dollar, you can sit and watch English-speaking movies, and you can sit there all day for a dollar. And so, I would go, it was like my, I was learning English, listening to, listening. And, and then one time, I remember a couple, I needed to practice,

• 1:38:27Speaker 03

  and there was a couple, I asked them, speak English, and they said, yes. And the guy, the girl was from Belgium, the guy was from Washington DC, and they said, we'll help you, and we'll just come every week, like on Monday or some, whatever it was, and we'll just go to a coffee shop and we'll talk to you so you can practice English. And I remember, they asked me, like, what did you do in Russia? I said, I was a comedian, somehow through dictionary, whatever I could to make that.

• 1:39:06Speaker 03

  And, and, and they said, what do you want to accomplish when you're in, in America? And again, I don't know anything about America, and I have this, I asked them, I said, where is the most successful people, comedians perform? And they said, Las Vegas. And I said, in five years, somehow I'll be in Las Vegas. And it's exactly what happened.

• 1:39:43Speaker 03

  Five years later, I was at the Tropicana Hotel with Murray Lanston, the unknown comic, doing a show in Las Vegas.

• 1:39:54Joe Rogan?

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• 1:40:39Joe Rogan?

  or get the premium Visible Plus Pro Plan and save $10 on your first month with promo code ROGEN. Terms apply. See visible.com for plan features and network management details. This episode is brought to you by Chime. And I know people don't usually get excited about banking, but Chime is doing something different and it's worth paying attention to. In a recent survey, they ranked the number one choice for new checking accounts in America. That means real people, millions of them, are choosing this over traditional banks. That's because banking at Chime is fee-free. No monthly fees, no overdraft fees, and thousands of fee-free ATMs. But here's the real kicker. If you get their Chime card,

• 1:41:23Joe Rogan?

  it gives you 5% cash back on a category you actually pick yourself. Your savings rate, crazy high. It's nine times the national average. They're calling it the most rewarding way to bank. Go to chime.com/rogan. Takes a few minutes to sign up. Chime is a fintech, not a bank, banking services and Chime card, provided by Chime's bank partners. Terms and limits apply. Go to chime.com/disclosures for more details. I remember that guy with the paper bag over his head.

• 1:41:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:41:56Joe Rogan?

  From The Gong Show.

• 1:41:57Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 1:41:57Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, which is a great show.

• 1:41:59Speaker 03

  It was a great show. Yeah, it was kind of an early version of Kill Tony.

• 1:42:03Joe Rogan?

  In a lot of ways, yeah, in a lot of ways, because some of the people were just like unbelievably untalented. And then you would hit the gong.

• 1:42:11Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 1:42:12Joe Rogan?

  That show was great.

• 1:42:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:42:14Joe Rogan?

  Didn't they try to bring that back? Didn't they try to bring The Gong Show back at one point in time with someone else?

• 1:42:19Speaker 03

  I think they did.

• 1:42:20Joe Rogan?

  Who did they bring it back with? Do you remember, Jamie? But do you remember? You don't remember?

• 1:42:26Speaker 03

  I don't, yeah.

• 1:42:27Speaker 04

  Off the top of my head, no.

• 1:42:29Joe Rogan?

  It was someone that you're like, huh. I wonder why they chose that person?

• 1:42:35Speaker 04

  Actually, oh, yeah, 2000, oh, David Tell.

• 1:42:38Joe Rogan?

  Oh, that's right!

• 1:42:40Speaker 03

  Who was it?

• 1:42:41Joe Rogan?

  It was David Tell.

• 1:42:43Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 1:42:44Joe Rogan?

  That's right. It was 2012?

• 1:42:47Speaker 04

  Well, it says briefly in 2008, and then again in 2017, and then I don't think he was involved in that one.

• 1:42:52Joe Rogan?

  Oh, 2008, is that what you said?

• 1:42:55Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 1:42:56Joe Rogan?

  Wow. Yeah, he's perfect for that.

• 1:43:01Joe Rogan?

  The problem is, once a show's been done, you try to redo it.

• 1:43:04Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:43:04Joe Rogan?

  It's always gonna be.

• 1:43:05Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:43:06Joe Rogan?

  There's been the three different versions of Fear Factor now. You know, it's like now they're doing it with Johnny Knoxville. Uh, it's uh, kinda crazy, like, the amount of different things that have happened in your life. You know, and then now to find yourself with another revival because of Kill Tony.

• 1:43:22Speaker 03

  Yes, like, yes, and, and going back on tour, I have a, I have a poster, I don't know if people on the radio can't see it, but I have a poster of, of my tour.

• 1:43:33Joe Rogan?

  Well, we'll, we'll send it to the website.

• 1:43:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, so I am, I'm excited.

• 1:43:38Joe Rogan?

  And where are you going, to comedy clubs?

• 1:43:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:43:40Joe Rogan?

  All over the place?

• 1:43:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, uh, Atlanta is the next one.

• 1:43:44Joe Rogan?

  No one can read that.

• 1:43:45Speaker 03

  Oh, okay.

• 1:43:45Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, put that down. They'll, they'll, go to the website. Jamie will pull up the website.

• 1:43:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:43:49Joe Rogan?

  You got a fucking.

• 1:43:51Speaker 03

  And it's on yakov.com, yeah.

• 1:43:52Joe Rogan?

  Yakov brought a sign. That's hilarious, man. So what was the Kill Tony experience like?

• 1:43:57Speaker 03

  It was great. I mean, I am, um, obviously, my, my show is kind of a G-rated. And so, uh, Kill Tony is not, and, uh, so, but yet, it was.

• 1:44:14Joe Rogan?

  It doesn't matter.

• 1:44:15Speaker 03

  It doesn't matter.

• 1:44:16Joe Rogan?

  It doesn't matter.

• 1:44:16Speaker 03

  He was so respectful of, of this, uh, Tony, and set me up, you know, I mean, I, I felt like my head was this big. And, um, he was seeing me as a super legend, and, and I am, I'm very grateful. It's hard for me sometimes to accept that, that people see me, because I've been doing this for sixty years. Sixty years comedy.

• 1:44:43Joe Rogan?

  That's crazy.

• 1:44:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:44:45Joe Rogan?

  Well, I remember the first time we met. We met at the Comedy Store.

• 1:44:48Speaker 03

  Uh huh.

• 1:44:49Joe Rogan?

  Whew, I wanna say, what was that, like fifteen years ago or something like that?

• 1:44:52Speaker 03

  Probably, yeah.

• 1:44:53Joe Rogan?

  You dropped in, and I'd never seen, and I was like, oh, like, what is he doing in town?

• 1:44:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:44:58Joe Rogan?

  And you just decided you wanted to come by the store and see what was going on with the young guys and do some stand-up. And we hung out for a little bit in the, in the green room, and I remember telling everybody, Yakov Smirnoff's really funny, man, he's fucking cool.

• 1:45:10Speaker 03

  Thank you, thank you.

• 1:45:11Joe Rogan?

  It was fun. It was fun to hang out with you, you know? It was like, it was fun to see you hanging out with all these weirdo, young, pot-smoking, fucking animals.

• 1:45:21Speaker 03

  Coming from Branson, right, right.

• 1:45:23Joe Rogan?

  You were coming from Branson, you're hanging out with Joey Diaz, and we were laughing, though, we had a good time, man. It was, it was a really good time.

• 1:45:30Speaker 03

  It was fun. It, it's fun. And I go back, uh, to clubs, and I, my goal was really to, uh, last year, I would go to small clubs and develop an hour of material that is totally current. I talk about relationships, I talk about, uh, having a one-year-old in my life. I talk, and, and it's, and interesting, I was doing it at, uh, at, uh, your club, and it, it's great to watch, uh, the, the reaction of the audience, how they have a lot of respect, but they're also laughing.

• 1:46:09Speaker 03

  And they're seeing, it, it's fun, because I talk about relationships, so they might come in disconnected, but then, all of a sudden, you see how they put their hands next to each other, and then they put, yeah, yeah. But I like it.

• 1:46:25Joe Rogan?

  Look at you, you're a uniter. You're bringing couples closer together with your comedy.

• 1:46:29Speaker 03

  I, I, that's really my goal.

• 1:46:32Joe Rogan?

  I like that you like that.

• 1:46:33Speaker 03

  I enjoy, I enjoy seeing families, uh, like Nate Bargatze is really the one who kind of got me out of Branson, because he, um, shown that, that there's a need for that, um, humor.

• 1:46:50Joe Rogan?

  Yes.

• 1:46:50Speaker 03

  And families come, and when you go to his show, it's like, looking around, it's grandma, and, and grandchildren, and parents.

• 1:46:59Joe Rogan?

  But everyone's laughing. The thing about Nate that's so unique is Nate is hilarious to me. Nate is hilarious to a twenty-year-old kid in college. Nate is hilarious to their grandmother.

• 1:47:11Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:47:11Joe Rogan?

  Nate is hilarious to your children. You could bring your ten-year-old kids to see Nate. Nate is a genius, and he's, and that is who he is all the time.

• 1:47:20Speaker 03

  I agree.

• 1:47:20Joe Rogan?

  He's like a really funny, very smart guy.

• 1:47:24Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:47:24Joe Rogan?

  Who's got a perfect style. It's like, I, I mean, he's, didn't he make like the most money ever? Or something like that, last year, doing stand-up? Sold the most tickets ever?

• 1:47:34Speaker 03

  Eighty million dollars, right.

• 1:47:35Joe Rogan?

  Or something crazy, but it, it's like he's doing this, like, selling out stadiums two times in a night.

• 1:47:40Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 1:47:41Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, and he does like three PM shows. It's nuts.

• 1:47:44Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:47:44Joe Rogan?

  It's incredible.

• 1:47:45Speaker 03

  But it shows that there's a need for that.

• 1:47:48Joe Rogan?

  Well, it shows that it doesn't matter. It's just funny. Like, Brian Regan's another great example. Brian Regan, squeaky clean, unfucking-believably funny. So talented, so funny.

• 1:47:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:48:00Joe Rogan?

  And it's just funny. It doesn't have to be clean or dirty, or, and we have that at the club, too. I mean, this is like, the club gets labeled as some, like, kind of extreme anti-woke thing. It's nonsense.

• 1:48:13Speaker 03

  I played, I performed there, at your club, a couple of weeks ago. They totally loved it. Nobody expected anything, and they just enjoyed, they laughed all the way through. I love doing that. So to me, I see young people who don't know me, and they're totally relating, and I'm relating to them, which is great. That's what I wanna do.

• 1:48:35Joe Rogan?

  We're human beings telling jokes. That's it.

• 1:48:37Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:48:38Joe Rogan?

  That's all it is. And, and if, comedy done correctly is done from your perspective.

• 1:48:42Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:48:43Joe Rogan?

  Whether your perspective is Nate Bargatze, or your perspective is fucking, you know, fill-in-the-blank, David Tell, whoever it is.

• 1:48:49Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:48:49Joe Rogan?

  Joey Diaz, Brian Holtzman, like, whatever it is. It doesn't, it doesn't matter. It's like, it's what's funny is funny. And it might not be your thing. Like, that's the thing, too. The, one of the problems with comedy is that there's only one, there's like one label. And you might go see, like, Brian Holtzman is like death metal comedy, or you might see Nate Bargatze, who's like, you know, I don't know what's the, you know, what's equivalent.

• 1:49:11Speaker 03

  Well, LeAnn Morgan is another one that was kind of, out of nowhere, uh, became very successful, because she has that, uh, clean, southern humor, and, um, the Netflix embraced her, and all of a sudden, she is touring and doing concerts.

• 1:49:34Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, all you have to do is be funny. It's like, funny from whatever perspective you're coming from, and again, it's not gonna be for everybody. That's just how it is.

• 1:49:41Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:49:41Joe Rogan?

  There's a lot of people that aren't gonna like A or B. It doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. It's just, but the thing about comedy is, like, when you go to a comedy club, you don't know what you're gonna get. You might get Run DMC, or you might get ACDC. You have no idea.

• 1:49:54Speaker 03

  Right, right.

• 1:49:55Joe Rogan?

  It's just, it's all just comedy. But I think that's one of the cool things about it.

• 1:50:00Speaker 03

  Right, and I, um, I totally agree with you, and I want to, uh, be able to do that one hour straight comedy. No, uh, there was an interesting thing that happened about a, a year ago or so. Um, I, a, a young comedian, uh, um, he, he said, you know, I, I was writing some jokes, and he was helping me, and he said, "Yakov, you know that you're not a stand-up comedian. You're a one-man show." And I go, at first, I was like, kind of, "What? What are you talking about?"

• 1:50:43Speaker 03

  And because I tell, I tell, in Branson, it's like more storytelling, and not just punchline, punchline, punchline. And, and he was, he was correct. So I, at first, I got kind of, like, "What do you mean? Who are you to tell me I'm not a stand-up comedian?" And then, I go, uh, ChatGPT, uh, "Is Yakov a stand-up comedian, or is he a one-man show?" And ChatGPT said, "Yakov Smirnoff used to be a stand-up comedian, and now he is a one-man show."

• 1:51:21Speaker 03

  And now, coming from ChatGPT, I'm going, "Dang, that's, that's now official? Wait a minute." So it took me a whole year to rewrite everything that I needed to rewrite to say, "It's punchline, punchline, it's just straight comedy." So I became a stand-up comedian again.

• 1:51:44Joe Rogan?

  Well, there's nothing wrong with one-man show stand-up comedy either, 'cause some people do their comedy like a one-man show. And some of the best comics, like Colin Quinn. Colin Quinn does a series of one-man shows, but if you ask ChatGPT, who is Colin Quinn? It'll say, "He's a stand-up comedian."

• 1:52:00Speaker 03

  Right, but, uh, ChatGPT got me wrong, whatever it was.

• 1:52:05Joe Rogan?

  It doesn't know. It's not even a person.

• 1:52:07Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:52:08Joe Rogan?

  Fuck ChatGPT.

• 1:52:09Speaker 03

  But, but, but it's actually helped me to, um, tune in, uh, my comedy. And, uh, because I was maybe a little bit more relaxed, being in my own theater, with all these people coming to see me.

• 1:52:26Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 1:52:26Speaker 03

  So it's not like you're in a club, and you're like, uh, with other comedians, when you have to be really, really sharp. And that's what I think it did for me. So I spent a year doing that. Now I have that hour, and I'm ready to go, and that's why I, I went on the tour.

• 1:52:45Joe Rogan?

  That's awesome.

• 1:52:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:52:46Joe Rogan?

  I lo, I love when comics are still interested in it, and still writing, and still love it after all these years.

• 1:52:53Speaker 03

  Absolutely.

• 1:52:53Joe Rogan?

  You know who I, I draw some inspiration from as well, is Argus Hamilton.

• 1:52:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:52:57Joe Rogan?

  Argus is still killing it.

• 1:52:59Speaker 03

  Yes, yes.

• 1:53:01Joe Rogan?

  Still killing it in LA.

• 1:53:02Speaker 03

  Keeps going.

• 1:53:03Joe Rogan?

  And every time there's something new in the news, he's got, always got a great fucking line about it. He's a funny dude.

• 1:53:08Speaker 03

  He is, yes.

• 1:53:09Joe Rogan?

  And he's still getting after it. He still loves it.

• 1:53:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:53:11Joe Rogan?

  And, you know, Argus used to, like, famously be into the substances, and, uh, now, all he does is run. And I remember one time, we were, uh, at the Comedy Store, and we were in the parking lot, and it was, uh, after the show, and Argus showed up with fucking running shoes on, and just ran in, and I'm like, "What are you doing, man?" And he's like, "I, I have to run every day."

• 1:53:30Speaker 03

  And do a set, because to him, that's his motivation, yeah.

• 1:53:34Joe Rogan?

  And he does like, I think he runs like ten miles a day.

• 1:53:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:53:36Joe Rogan?

  He's in his seventies.

• 1:53:37Speaker 03

  And, uh, interesting that, you know, when I was so naive, because, uh, Argus was, uh, very friendly with Mitzi.

• 1:53:47Speaker 03

  And I, I would go to their house and I would see Argus there in the morning and I was like, why is, you know, and I, I couldn't connect those two things. I mean, I, I could not. I, I mean, honestly, it was, it was, I, I'll tell you how naive I was. Uh, so Mitzi gives me that work, right, up, uh, and I live in that house and Andrew Dice Clay moves into that house, right? And Andrew teaches me English, okay? Can you imagine that, uh, Robert up dub? So, but, but that was a party house. I mean, this was a house where, uh,

• 1:54:30Joe Rogan?

  Was Kennison living there then?

• 1:54:32Speaker 03

  Kennison would just hang out there all the time and, uh, they would scream at each other, Andrew and, uh, and Kennison. And, and that was just kind of a joke between those two and they go, ah, ah. And I would have to go to bed because I gotta get up early in the morning to go work and those guys are screaming at each other, uh, just for fun. And I go downstairs and I go, hey, guys, you're friends, stop. So I'm, we're playing this joke and they're, yeah, screaming. And I go, you know what, why don't you, you're close to the Comedy Store, why don't you go downstairs and scream there?

• 1:55:17Speaker 03

  And they look at each other and go, okay, let's go. So it's midnight and we're all going, whoever lived there, going to the Comedy Store and Sam gets on stage and starts screaming, this is the first time that he ever got on stage and he went to the, and very few people in the audience. And he went into their face, ah, you.

• 1:55:44Joe Rogan?

  No way.

• 1:55:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:55:46Joe Rogan?

  That's where it came from?

• 1:55:47Speaker 03

  That's where it came from. And then after that, it just became like his, his thing and the rest is history.

• 1:55:55Joe Rogan?

  That's crazy.

• 1:55:57Speaker 03

  Yeah. That was, that was happening there. A lot of stuff was happening there. They would come and do drugs, you know, like, uh, Robin and Richard, Richard Pryor, they would do, and I, it tells you, this is silly, but I would wake up in the morning and I would see a mirror on the table, right? Okay, so bear with me. So, and there's like white powder on the table.

• 1:56:27Joe Rogan?

  So you'd clean it up?

• 1:56:28Speaker 03

  I was thinking they're eating donuts off the mirror. So I would clean whatever it was, hang it up. And next morning I go, Argus, why don't you guys use plates? You have a dishwasher. What, and they would laugh at me and they wouldn't tell me what's going on.

• 1:56:48Joe Rogan?

  But weren't they mad that you threw away their coke?

• 1:56:50Speaker 03

  No, no, there was not much. I mean, it was just, yeah, whatever residue. I, I had no idea. I wasn't testing it.

• 1:56:57Joe Rogan?

  That's how much coke they had, that they left some of it on the mirror.

• 1:56:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:57:00Joe Rogan?

  Isn't that crazy? That's crazy.

• 1:57:02Speaker 03

  It, it was, and, but I didn't know. So I kind of lived in that wholesome kind of world in that.

• 1:57:11Joe Rogan?

  So you were there while Kennison was developing?

• 1:57:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:57:16Joe Rogan?

  Did he arrive at the store around the same time that you did?

• 1:57:20Speaker 03

  A little bit later.

• 1:57:21Joe Rogan?

  Little later?

• 1:57:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, a little later.

• 1:57:23Joe Rogan?

  Well, like what year did he arrive?

• 1:57:24Speaker 03

  Probably seventy-nine, I would say.

• 1:57:28Joe Rogan?

  And he really hit around like, what, eighty-five, eighty-six?

• 1:57:33Speaker 03

  Yes, yes.

• 1:57:34Joe Rogan?

  I think eighty-five he did Letterman?

• 1:57:36Speaker 03

  Yes, yes, I would say.

• 1:57:38Joe Rogan?

  And then eighty-six, he had that HBO special that blew him up?

• 1:57:41Speaker 03

  Probably, probably.

• 1:57:43Joe Rogan?

  You know, I found out about Kennison, it's a funny story. I've told it before, I apologize if the audience has heard it. I was working at a health club, at a, a gym called the Boston Athletic Club in South Boston. And I was a trainer, I'd teach people how to lift weights. And there was this girl who was a volleyball player, she was hilarious. She was this big girl, big athletic girl, she was very funny. She was just like boisterous, like a really loud, funny lady. And she was like my age and, um, she told me about Kennison and then she told me about his bit. She's like, oh my God, I saw this guy on HBO, she had a like heavy Boston accent. This guy on HBO, he was so fucking hilarious and he did this bit about, uh, people having sex with corpses.

• 1:58:27Joe Rogan?

  So she does this bit. She laid down in the parking lot of the Boston Athletic Club and did that bit. So Kennison had a very famous bit about homosexual necrophiliacs who were paying money to spend moments alone with the freshest male corpses. So she is lying down on the parking lot, on the ground, the parking lot. She's, and she's like, and like, oh, I'm gonna lie down. She's, she's the whole thing, I'm gonna be with Jesus and now I'm dead. Oh, what is this? Feels like someone's fucking me in the ass. You mean, life keeps fucking you in the ass even after you're dead? It never ends. So she was doing his bit and I was laughing at her doing his bit. I'm like, I gotta see this guy. This is crazy.

• 1:59:12Joe Rogan?

  So that was my introduction to Sam Kennison. My friend lying on her stomach, doing an impression. I'll never forget that, man, cause I was nineteen years old. I remember that. And I remember thinking, so it was eighty-six. So I remember thinking, this is crazy.

• 1:59:26Speaker 03

  Unbelievable.

• 1:59:28Joe Rogan?

  That's, that's. It was so, I had no desire to do comedy back then. I wasn't even thinking about it. It wasn't even on my radar. It was never even a thought. I loved comedy. I loved watching it, but I never thought about doing it.

• 1:59:38Speaker 03

  So what made you, what was the, the transition when you started?

• 1:59:42Joe Rogan?

  Well, I was, uh, heavily invested in martial arts. That's all I wanted to do. All I wanted, it was my, my goal was to compete and that's all I was doing. That's the reason why I got the job at the gym, so that I could have a place that I could work out and also I could make money there. And, um, my friends that I used to train with, they're the ones who told me to do comedy. But I was like, listen, you laugh at me because you're also psychos. Like, the things I'm saying are fucking crazy. Like you're, we're all fighters. We're all traveling around the country fighting. Like, this is not a normal activity. You're, these, this is not normal humor. But my good friend Steve Graham, who I'm still friends with to this day, he's the one who talked me into doing it.

• 2:00:26Joe Rogan?

  And then I went to an open mic night and I realized, oh, everybody sucks in the beginning. Like, it's just like martial arts. You start off, you suck, and then you get better at it. But my introduction to comedy was that lady, really, my introduction to Kennison, rather, the idea, cause I, when I saw Kennison, I was like, oh, comedy is a lot of different things. It's different, there's a lot of different forms to it.

• 2:00:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:00:48Joe Rogan?

  Cause I always saw guys like Jerry Seinfeld who were very funny and they'd tell these jokes, but I never thought that was me. I couldn't do that. But I saw Kennison, I was like, oh, this is a bunch of different kinds of comedy. This is very interesting. And then when I started out in eighty-eight, boy, the guys in Boston used to talk about the Comedy Store like it was Mecca. Like you had to go there. You had to go to the store. The store was where Richard Pryor started and Sam Kennison and all the, all these comics and David Letterman, they all made, they all came out of the store. Bill Hicks, you know, he was a doorman at the store.

• 2:01:23Speaker 03

  Yes, yes.

• 2:01:24Joe Rogan?

  And everybody talked about the store. It was one of those things where it was like, you know, you had to go there. And then, uh, when I first made, uh, got on a television show, I flew out to LA to do a pilot and that was the first time I ever went to the store. And I remember being so weirded out, just being in the building, like, wow, I can't believe I'm at the Comedy Store.

• 2:01:44Speaker 03

  Now, when you, when did you meet Mitzi?

• 2:01:47Joe Rogan?

  I met Mitzi in ninety-four. So I did the pilot, the pilot wound up getting picked up. And then I came out and I was on a TV show that, it was, it only lasted like six episodes. It was called Hardball. It was a sitcom about a baseball team and I played the star player. I played this crazy dude who was always crashing his Lamborghini and is that, that kind of shit, you know? And so, um, I would spend my nights, every night at the store. I didn't have any friends and I didn't know anybody there, so I just would, just go to the set and then after the set I'd go hang out at the store. And then I eventually, uh, Mitzi showcased me. I got, uh, became a non-paid regular. So I got to go on after the comedians performed.

• 2:02:30Joe Rogan?

  So the way it worked at the Comedy Store, they'd have a show that was scheduled from like eight PM to like one AM or close to it. And then after, it was probably like really midnight, but it always was like one AM by the time I got up. And then I would go on after everybody else. And I did that for a few months and then she passed me. And I remember thinking, like, when, when she passed me, like, I was like, oh no, I, I think I could be a comedian now. Like this is, I actually can make a living doing this. Cause before then I wasn't sure.

• 2:02:59Speaker 03

  Right.

• 2:03:00Joe Rogan?

  Even though I was getting paid and I would do comedy, I'd get paid to do comedy, it was still like very iffy. I'd bomb a lot. It was like, it wasn't.

• 2:03:07Speaker 03

  Right.

• 2:03:08Joe Rogan?

  Also it was like in the middle of the sitcom, so I was, I was working all day and I wa, I didn't want to do that anymore. I mean, I, I liked it cause it paid a lot of money, but it wasn't really my thing. I wasn't into acting that much. It was, to me, it was like, comedy was more exciting. It was live, live audiences. The sitcom thing was fun cause you got to use like your skills in, in telling jokes as a comedian, but it wasn't the same thing. And then I got news radio, which was a much more, uh, much better show. And then, then I was like, well, this is different. This is, there's other levels to this. And that's how I met Hartman and all those other people. But it was, to me, the most important thing was getting passed at the store. I was like, wow. That was more important to me than getting a sitcom or anything.

• 2:03:53Joe Rogan?

  I was like, I can't believe it. I got passed, my name's on the wall of the fucking comedy store. I, wow. It was so exciting.

• 2:04:00Speaker 03

  In lights too now, right? Do you have it? Is it, you need neon inside?

• 2:04:06Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, yeah. I'm on the wall inside. And it's just like, this lady, Mitzi Shore, like, people don't understand. She was the most important figure outside of all the comedians. The most important figure of, in comedy. By far, there was no one like her. She was, and she was a mentor. She was like a, she was a, she was a curator of a mental health asylum.

• 2:04:30Joe Rogan?

  And she would joke around about it. She was like, the inmates are running the asylum. And that was originally when we came to, uh, Texas. I was gonna call it the asylum.

• 2:04:41Speaker 03

  Really?

• 2:04:41Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, cuz I thought, as a nod.

• 2:04:44Speaker 03

  Mothership is much better.

• 2:04:46Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, it turned out better. But as a nod to Mitzi, the idea was that, like, she was always saying, the inmates are running the asylum. She would say that all the time while we were there. Like, she encouraged it. She liked when comedians were out of their fucking minds. She, she loved it. She loved that environment. And so, as a nod to her, we were gonna call it the asylum. But then, I was like, one of the things that someone said, cuz you know, Ron White was the first guy to move here? He was really like patient zero in the Austin comedy experience and the new version of the Austin comedy experience. And he was like, it's in the center of the country. I love it cuz I could fly to New York. I'd go to Florida, I'd go everywhere. It's in the middle, you know? It's like, the flats aren't as long, people are nice. I love it here.

• 2:05:31Joe Rogan?

  And I was like, oh, well, it's like the mothership. And then all the other places like Lynch, launch out. Yeah. And also, I'm obsessed with UFOs, obviously.

• 2:05:41Speaker 03

  I can see, right?

• 2:05:42Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, obviously. I have a bit of a UFO problem.

• 2:05:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:05:46Joe Rogan?

  So, that's why we called it the mothership. But I mean, the bar's named Mitzi's.

• 2:05:49Speaker 03

  Yes, yes. And it was, I, you know, losing her that early, I still think she went too early, you know, in.

• 2:05:59Joe Rogan?

  Well, for me, it was like, she suffered for so long. It was really hard to see her, uh, you know, she had a neurological condition. Later in her life, it was very hard to see her. She would come around the store.

• 2:06:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:06:11Joe Rogan?

  But, you know, she nurtured so many comedians and, and helped us all. And not always, like, sometimes she had terrible advice.

• 2:06:21Joe Rogan?

  She would change your whole act, make you have a fake name. She tried to turn Joey Diaz into Fat Baby.

• 2:06:26Speaker 03

  Is that right?

• 2:06:27Joe Rogan?

  That was his nickname, or his name. So on the lineup, instead of Joey Diaz, it would say Fat Baby.

• 2:06:35Joe Rogan?

  She did that for like a couple of years.

• 2:06:38Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 2:06:39Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it was nuts. Yeah, you can find some of the old lineups. Uh, Jamie's found them before online. It'll still, like, lineup from like 2001 or something like that. It says Fat Baby. That's what she was calling them.

• 2:06:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, and, uh.

• 2:06:53Joe Rogan?

  She was a special person. Such a special person. And just, that lady loved having that place. She was, she knew that there was something going on there and there had been something going on there. That was very unique in the world of comedy. And it was necessary, you know, to have a place like that where the comics all felt at home.

• 2:07:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:07:14Joe Rogan?

  Like, we would perform in other places, like, we would do sets at the improv. We would do sets at the, I remember one time I did New Year's at the improv. And I came back to the club and Harris Pete says, I love it. You go over there, you do your shows, but you come back home. I was like, yeah, we're all, this is our home. This is our weird fucking home.

• 2:07:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:07:34Joe Rogan?

  You know, the home for lost children. Like, Mitzi would call it the, the home for, the island of broken toys.

• 2:07:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:07:42Joe Rogan?

  Just a bunch of weirdos, you know? And, but all like, like feeding off of each other.

• 2:07:47Speaker 03

  But to be able to see somebody who is, barely speaks English and does five minutes and, and spot him somehow.

• 2:08:01Joe Rogan?

  Well, she loves developing comics. She loved developing comics. She loved finding a comic and, and, and getting them. Which is one of the problems with like, she didn't, it's really interesting, like, Jerry Seinfeld went and she didn't pass him. Because he was already developed.

• 2:08:15Speaker 03

  Right.

• 2:08:16Joe Rogan?

  Isn't that crazy?

• 2:08:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:08:17Joe Rogan?

  Like, she didn't like that.

• 2:08:18Speaker 03

  She was already, he's done, he's done.

• 2:08:21Joe Rogan?

  She liked taking people when they were really raw.

• 2:08:24Speaker 03

  That's true.

• 2:08:25Joe Rogan?

  And shaping them.

• 2:08:26Speaker 03

  Roseanne was her big project, for sure.

• 2:08:29Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:08:29Speaker 03

  She came from Denver, yeah. And, uh, and, and so is, uh, Jim Carrey.

• 2:08:36Joe Rogan?

  Mm-hmm.

• 2:08:36Speaker 03

  Uh, and many, many others.

• 2:08:38Joe Rogan?

  She also had like very specific, like, techniques she would use to test you. Like, she would always take comics and put them on, like, especially the young, new ones, after all the, the really good comics. Like she did with you. When you're talking about like doing that set, Richard Pryor's going up, Robin Williams, and that's what she would do.

• 2:08:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:08:56Joe Rogan?

  She would take young comics that she thought had potential and she would shove them after the biggest names. People that were killing.

• 2:09:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:09:04Joe Rogan?

  She was a, such a unique person and such an important person in comedy.

• 2:09:09Speaker 03

  And, and Peter, um, uh, that was a big moment of my life. I went to her funeral and Peter, her son, asked me to be one of the pallbearers in her, um, funeral. And I felt like full circle, you know? She gave me my life, you know, in a totally different way. If I didn't meet her, God knows what, what I would be doing.

• 2:09:35Joe Rogan?

  No, I mean, she, she helped all of us. And I think, uh, it's one of the reasons why we talk about her so much. And it's the reason why we named the bar after her.

• 2:09:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:09:44Joe Rogan?

  Just to, in the spirit of what she was trying to do at the store, we try to do at the mothership. It's all the weirdos. Welcome, weirdos. Welcome, weirdos.

• 2:09:53Speaker 03

  Amen.

• 2:09:54Joe Rogan?

  Let's have fun.

• 2:09:54Speaker 03

  Amen, yeah.

• 2:09:55Joe Rogan?

  Let's go.

• 2:09:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:09:57Joe Rogan?

  How many times have you, uh, performed at the club now? Just do very good sets?

• 2:10:00Speaker 03

  Twice.

• 2:10:02Joe Rogan?

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• 2:10:43Joe Rogan?

  Visit lifelock.com and save up to 30% your first year with promo code JRE. That's promo code JRE or go to lifelock.com/jre for 30% off. Terms apply.

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• 2:11:30Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, yeah. It, it, it feels like the original room, uh, the little room, the little boy's room. Well, you know what I say? It's like, the little room is like if the original room and the belly room had a baby. And then, the big room is like the original room and the main room had a baby.

• 2:11:50Speaker 03

  Right, right.

• 2:11:50Joe Rogan?

  It's very, very close, yeah.

• 2:11:53Speaker 03

  It's true, but you've done a great job. It feels, it feels like home when you walk in there.

• 2:11:58Joe Rogan?

  Well, I basically copied everything that I learned from her.

• 2:12:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:12:01Joe Rogan?

  And added more.

• 2:12:03Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 2:12:03Joe Rogan?

  Stuff that the comedians requested.

• 2:12:06Speaker 03

  And it's interesting that I was helping to build that belly room and then Kill Tony started in the belly room.

• 2:12:14Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. You might've been the last person to work on that belly room too, because that, that fucking room scares the shit out of me. I've, I've been in the bottom, like, in the, the, uh, bar area, ordering a drink and like roast battle be on stage? And you see the ceiling move? And you're like, Jesus, Yakov, get back up there with a fucking hammer and.

• 2:12:34Joe Rogan?

  Add some support.

• 2:12:38Speaker 03

  I'm not taking the responsibility. I was just doing booths and.

• 2:12:43Joe Rogan?

  Oh, okay, okay.

• 2:12:44Speaker 03

  So I wasn't doing structure.

• 2:12:45Joe Rogan?

  Okay, that's good. Somebody was.

• 2:12:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:12:48Joe Rogan?

  Somebody did. I just think some, like especially.

• 2:12:50Speaker 03

  There is no code.

• 2:12:51Joe Rogan?

  Roast battle. When you have roast battle up there, like they would get so wild and rowdy and it would be packed. It would be packed and it's only supposed to seat like, what, 70 people or 80 people?

• 2:13:03Speaker 03

  Right, right.

• 2:13:03Joe Rogan?

  It would be a lot more than that.

• 2:13:07Joe Rogan?

  That fucking ceiling would move a little. When you were in the bar, you're like, bro, I hope this doesn't cave in. That would suck.

• 2:13:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, yep, yep, yep.

• 2:13:15Joe Rogan?

  The place is a magic place and it's also a magic place because it was like a magnet for crazy people. You'd have the weirdest, nuttiest people that would just come there. Like that one guy, there's one guy that we used to come there. He was a really nice guy. And he would always dress as Jesus.

• 2:13:31Speaker 03

  Yes, I remember that, yeah.

• 2:13:33Joe Rogan?

  Do you, do you remember his name, Jamie?

• 2:13:35Speaker 04

  Kevin Lee Light.

• 2:13:35Joe Rogan?

  That's right. And he wound up dying and everybody was so sad. They were really sad because this guy was, it seems like a gimmick, but

• 2:13:46Joe Rogan?

  we got used to it and he was really nice. And he was just like this nice guy that dressed like Jesus all the time. There he is. But it was part of the fucking cool, crazy weirdness of the Comedy Store is that we had a guy that dressed as Jesus that was there all the time.

• 2:14:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:14:05Joe Rogan?

  You know, and like, I don't know if he ever did stand up. Did he ever do stand up?

• 2:14:11Speaker 04

  I never saw him on stage, but he would be in the room sometimes and he definitely had timing to, you know, to, you know, give a joke. But like, I don't remember ever seeing him with a mic in his hand.

• 2:14:21Joe Rogan?

  Isn't that crazy though? Like, he was just always there, hanging out and he was like, but that was the part of how nutty that place was.

• 2:14:31Speaker 04

  Right.

• 2:14:32Joe Rogan?

  The place was just strange.

• 2:14:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:14:34Joe Rogan?

  We ran into so many like completely schizophrenic people in the parking lot. Like they would, they'd just wander their way back there and start talking to us and explain to us about the voices in their head.

• 2:14:45Speaker 04

  Brody's show with Zach.

• 2:14:46Joe Rogan?

  Oh, wow.

• 2:14:47Speaker 04

  Ah.

• 2:14:48Joe Rogan?

  Wow. Yeah, I mean, Brody had him on his show. It was just, that's how weird that place was. It was just such a fucking, just an unusual spot.

• 2:15:01Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:15:01Joe Rogan?

  And so we've done our best to make our own version of that here.

• 2:15:05Speaker 03

  And, and the, that Crest Hill House was also a crazy place, you know?

• 2:15:12Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I'm not doing that. I think that was a terrible idea. I'm not gonna buy a house and have a bunch of ingredients live in it. That sounds like a recipe for fucking disaster. I just can't manage all that, you know? I almost bought Crest Hill at one point in time.

• 2:15:26Speaker 03

  Really?

• 2:15:27Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, they were selling it and I was really thinking about buying it. But I had a dog at the time. His name was Frank Sinatra. And Frank Sinatra was an escape artist. And that was not a big enough, I, you know, if you, I'm a firm believer that if you have a dog, you really have to have a big yard. I think otherwise it's cruel. I think the dogs, dogs need exercise. They need, they need something. If you don't have a big yard, you gotta be able to, be able to take that dog out every day and, and exercise him and bring him around. Otherwise it's rude. And Crest Hill had that little tiny backyard, remember? And it was on the hill. I'm like, he's getting over this fence. Like, he was a pit bull. I'm like, he's getting over that fence like that. That dog could get out of anything. I was like, that poor guy. I'm not doing that to him. So I never bought it because of my dog.

• 2:16:11Joe Rogan?

  Like literally, I was thinking about buying that house and she was selling it. And, but it was, I went to look at it. I went to look at it to see if I could buy it. I think some comics might have been even living there at the time. So this was like.

• 2:16:24Speaker 03

  They sold it several times since then. I was just there not too long ago and there is all kind of destroyed because the guy is kind of wacky and he's remodeling it. But, but it was a big part of my life. Um, as I was living there in a little room, Andrew does clay downstairs and he's teaching me how to date women. I know, I know. It's, it's crazy, but I was so naive. And he was clean at that time, you know, his act was very clean.

• 2:17:02Speaker 03

  He would tell, you know, he would do impressions of Elvis and John Travolta and Sylvester Stallone. So he's and, and, and he would be very funny. We were pretty good friends. He would just, but he would play with me. He would say, uh, he would play that, you know, I would have a girlfriend come and he would say, so now you want me to go downstairs? Can you imagine Andrew being this, you know, crazy guy? Said, now I gotta go downstairs and I'll be all by myself and you're gonna be with this girl.

• 2:17:44Speaker 03

  And you're my best friend. And how is that gonna, I go, get the hell out of here. She's gonna be here. And then she would come and he would do it in front of her. Well, you guys are gonna have fun now. And I'm gonna have to go downstairs. There's nothing there. And he would just play and play a lot, you know? And then, uh, Tom Wilson was living there too. Uh, Tom is the guy who did, um, Biff in Back to the Future. He was the, the, the bad guy, right? And so Tom was kind of a clean cut guy and Andrew was, you know, um, not.

• 2:18:27Speaker 03

  So, so, uh, so the one time I was supposed to break up with this girl, I wanted to break up with her and he goes, Andrew goes, I, I have an idea for you. We're gonna go to a jewelry store. We're gonna get a, a gift for her so it will be easy to break up. So we go, we buy a ring and I'll bring it, I brought it back and I go, uh, Tom, um, Andrew told me to buy this ring to give it to this girl so it would be an easy breakup. And he looks and he goes, it's an engagement ring. You know that, right?

• 2:19:07Speaker 03

  And I go, but Andrew told me to buy it. I'm good. He goes, uh, uh, Tom goes, Andrew is not a representative of a human race. So don't listen to what he's saying. So that's how, it was kind of a fun relationship, but it was interesting because I was very enterprising and I'm working for Mitzi. You know, she's paying me whatever, a minimum wage. And, but I'm saving money and we live with those guys and we have a two car garage, but no cars in it.

• 2:19:47Speaker 03

  So a friend of mine says to me, why don't we go to Germany together? We borrow some money, we buy two Mercedes's and we'll sell one and we'll get one for free. It was a kind of an interesting idea. So we went with some complications. I was able to bring two cars. And sold, so, so here's, these guys are sleeping till like noon and they don't have a car and they don't, they're just bombing around. And I have two Mercedes's in the garage. I sell one.

• 2:20:28Speaker 03

  And then I go to Europe. They hired me to do a Bob Monkhouse show, which was a kind of a Johnny Carson show for, um, England. And I fly there and they give me a bag of money, 10,000 euros, not euros, pounds, uh, in a bag to do this show. So I buy a Rolls Royce and ship it to America. So now I have a Mercedes 450SL and a Rolls Royce, but I live in a room for a hundred and 20 dollars a month, right?

• 2:21:07Speaker 03

  And so, um, this is how weird it is. And, and this, and I wanna buy a house, but I don't have enough money. So this realtor passes by one day and I'm polishing a Rolls Royce. And she goes, can I borrow like a hammer to put the sign in? I go, you know what? You're a realtor. Maybe you can help me. I'm looking for a house. Um, and I liked when Mitzi had that big house, 5,000 square feet overlooking LA. And I'm like, I want something like that. And I, I said, I tell her, I want a 5,000 square foot house.

• 2:21:51Speaker 03

  Um, with an acre of land and I wanted to buy it for, with a view of LA. And I wanna buy it for a hundred and 50,000 dollars. And I'm thinking she's gonna hit me with a hammer. She goes, I may have something for you. And I go, really? And she goes, yeah. And she, there was a house, uh, literally like a block away from where Mitzi's was. Similar structure. Only it was destroyed. It was a house that Lenny Bruce used to live in years ago.

• 2:22:32Speaker 03

  Uh, was, um, the Seymour Cassell, who is a, he is a character actor. I don't know if he's still around. Maybe Jamie can find it of him. Uh, he was a character actor and he got into drugs and lost that house to his attorney to, and, and so, um,

• 2:22:58Speaker 03

  So I go look at the house, it's totally destroyed, but my parents needed a project. They were, and I needed them to have a project. So I said, how much would he, and he said, he'll take a hundred and fifty thousand dollars because it's totally destroyed. There's stuff, swimming, but there is a stuff in the basement, like flooded, the windows are broken, destroyed. So I buy that house, and, but I want to buy it, but I have to get all the paperwork. And I go, I need this, there's some kind of discrepancy, that a

• 2:23:43Speaker 03

  sliver of the land belongs to a neighbor or something like that. So I need to sign, that guy Seymour Cassell was to sign something off. And I go, where am I gonna find him? I go, the attorney goes, I know where he is, he's in jail. So I go to jail, and I figure I'm gonna offer him money to sign this paper. And I go in, I have like five hundred dollars in my pocket, and I go, I need you to sign this paper. And he goes,

• 2:24:20Speaker 03

  I said, how much? And he goes, fifty. I go, fifty thousand? He said, no, fifty dollars. I go, why fifty dollars? He said, they won't allow us more than fifty dollars in jail. So now I'm in jail with a hundred dollar bill, trying to get change, which is not a good place to do it. I got it, and now I own that, that beautiful home.

• 2:24:51Joe Rogan?

  You still have it?

• 2:24:52Speaker 03

  No, I sold it, and moved to Pacific Palisades, that time, and when my kids were, my daughter was born, and then had to sell that house, and lose a lot of money to move to Branson, so.

• 2:25:09Joe Rogan?

  And are you in Branson still?

• 2:25:11Speaker 03

  I do, yeah.

• 2:25:12Joe Rogan?

  You live in Branson?

• 2:25:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, I owned a theater there, and.

• 2:25:16Joe Rogan?

  So how did you start coming out here?

• 2:25:19Speaker 03

  It was a desire to kind of do what, I felt compelled that I can still offer something valuable to the audience out there, watching Nate Bargatze, doing that, and he had me, actually, I was in Florida, and I, I wanted to go see his show, and he's in this Hertz Arena, twelve thousand something people, and I, I asked if I could just go

• 2:25:59Speaker 03

  come see the show, and he said, why don't you go on stage and do a set? And that was like, I walked out there, and I felt like I was back in the eighties, you know, the audience just, the moment they said my name, they knew who I was, that audience knows who I am. So they just went crazy, and I felt like Rocky, standing there, bowing, and then I did like eight minutes. And so he's very respectful, and very, he feels

• 2:26:38Speaker 03

  like I, one of the people that kind of paved the way for comedy to be what it is today.

• 2:26:47Joe Rogan?

  That's awesome.

• 2:26:48Speaker 03

  So I've been very blessed that, you know.

• 2:26:51Joe Rogan?

  And so how did you wind up in Austin?

• 2:26:55Speaker 03

  I came here for the festival, that was that.

• 2:27:00Joe Rogan?

  Moon Tower?

• 2:27:01Speaker 03

  Moon Tower. And then I had Adam, your, Adam got me a spot, and that's when I met Tony, and Tony said, why don't you be a guest judge on my show? And I was going with my family to Europe, because my family's from Ukraine, so my wife's family from Ukraine, so they moved to Europe. And so we went there for two months, and I said, Tony, I can't do it right now, but end of August, I would love to do it. And that's how it all kind of came together.

• 2:27:38Joe Rogan?

  Wow.

• 2:27:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, small world.

• 2:27:41Joe Rogan?

  What are you doing tonight?

• 2:27:43Speaker 03

  I don't have any plans. I was just, was hoping to get through, through this fun, because you never know, I, I'm hoping that, you know, I'd be happy to do whatever is out there, you know?

• 2:27:57Joe Rogan?

  You were hoping to get through the show?

• 2:27:59Speaker 03

  Well, you have to know, I mean, you, your show, I don't think you can fathom how big your show. I mean, I know you know the numbers, and you know, but to, to get, to, to have the conversation for three hours, and not really knowing where it's gonna go, what's gonna happen, how it's gonna be, you get nervous, you know, and I feel like I was going to Nashville, and that was Nashville Comedy Festival, a year and a half ago. And

• 2:28:40Speaker 03

  I went there, and I walked into Ryman's Auditorium, and Brian Dorfman, you probably know, he's a promoter, he remembered me from the years in the past, and there was a show that all the Nate Bargatze's proteges were doing. And, and I walked in, I didn't know what was going on, and he said, you wanna go up? And I go, okay, I'll go up. And I, I went in the middle of the show, and I did fifteen minutes, and the crowd

• 2:29:24Speaker 03

  gave me a standing ovation in the middle of the show. And I, I know it's, I get emotional because I feel like an ugly duckling that goes in and doesn't know if there's young people going to accept you or not. And can you still do it? I was, I'm in Branson for thirty-three years, I'm very comfortable in that environment, but going into with the young comedians, it's like a boxer who hasn't been out there, and there is, there is respect, but also, respect only lasts thirty seconds after they introduce you, but then you have

• 2:30:08Speaker 03

  to, you have to prove that you got what it takes. And that's what I feel like I, I want to continue to do this, because I believe I can still offer something valuable to the audience, that, that family audience, that could learn something from me, could laugh with me, whatever it is.

• 2:30:33Joe Rogan?

  That's very wholesome, Yakov. You're a wholesome guy.

• 2:30:36Speaker 03

  Well, thank you.

• 2:30:38Joe Rogan?

  I mean that with all sincerity.

• 2:30:41Speaker 03

  Well, I'll tell you, it's interesting, I was, when I graduated from my, from Pepperdine, and I came to Comedy and Magic Club in my.

• 2:30:53Joe Rogan?

  Hermosa Beach, I love that place.

• 2:30:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, me too.

• 2:30:55Joe Rogan?

  Shout out to Mike Lacy.

• 2:30:56Speaker 03

  Yes, yes.

• 2:30:57Joe Rogan?

  He's the best.

• 2:30:58Speaker 03

  And I showed up in my cap and gown, kind of proud, and Jay, Jay Leno is there all the time, every Sunday. And Jay goes, so what's up, what's up, what's up with that? What's up with that? And I go, well, I decided to get a doctorate degree, because I really think that there is a research on laughter that you could really help people understand it better. And he goes, Yakov, you're a comedian. You write a joke, you tell a joke, you pick

• 2:31:36Speaker 03

  up a check, and you go, and you go, and, and, and that's it. And I go, but what about like humanity, and, no, no, he goes, no, no, you don't get it. You write a joke, you tell a joke, and you pick up a check, and that's it. I, I feel like there is more that I can do.

• 2:32:00Joe Rogan?

  Well, you know, that's Jay's perspective.

• 2:32:02Speaker 03

  Right.

• 2:32:03Joe Rogan?

  My perspective is much more aligned with yours. I think there's a lot more going on, and I think comedy's very valuable to people, including me. If I don't feel good, then I go watch people tell great jokes and laugh, I feel better. I like it. I like it, people like it, people keep coming to see it, there's a reason why people come, it's, it's medicine. It really is. I know that's like very cliche.

• 2:32:25Speaker 03

  No.

• 2:32:26Joe Rogan?

  They say laughter is medicine, but it is. There's something to it.

• 2:32:28Speaker 03

  It's a lubricant, it's like engine without, if you don't have oil in the engine, it will not go. And I think laughter in the relationship is that lubricant.

• 2:32:41Joe Rogan?

  Well, and with friends, it's just a fun thing to do.

• 2:32:45Speaker 03

  Absolutely.

• 2:32:46Joe Rogan?

  That's one of the reasons why I like going there, is like, we get to hang out together and laugh.

• 2:32:50Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 2:32:51Joe Rogan?

  Speaking of which, do you wanna do a set tonight?

• 2:32:53Speaker 03

  Sure, you know anybody?

• 2:32:55Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I gotta, I know a guy.

• 2:32:57Speaker 03

  Who can get me?

• 2:32:58Joe Rogan?

  It'd be my show.

• 2:32:59Speaker 03

  I'd love it.

• 2:33:00Joe Rogan?

  So you'll do a set on my show tonight?

• 2:33:01Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 2:33:02Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, okay.

• 2:33:03Speaker 03

  I'd love it. Oh my goodness, wow.

• 2:33:04Joe Rogan?

  We'll have some fun.

• 2:33:05Speaker 03

  What a gift. Thank you.

• 2:33:06Joe Rogan?

  And if people wanna see you, other than that, you're on tour, what is the website? Is it Yakov.com?

• 2:33:11Speaker 03

  Yakov.com. Yeah, my next show is in Atlanta this weekend.

• 2:33:16Joe Rogan?

  Well, people can go to it, it's up on the screen, there it is.

• 2:33:19Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 2:33:20Joe Rogan?

  Stand-up podcast host legend. You have your own podcast?

• 2:33:23Speaker 03

  I, I did for about a year.

• 2:33:26Joe Rogan?

  What happened?

• 2:33:28Speaker 03

  A baby was born.

• 2:33:30Joe Rogan?

  Oh, you're doing a lot of good spots. You're doing The Punch Line, you're doing The Punch Line in Sacramento, you're doing Cobb's in San Francisco, Comedy Works in Greenville, Greenwood, rather, that's the other Comedy Works, there's two Comedy Works. Nice. SideSplitters, great spots, beautiful.

• 2:33:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 2:33:49Joe Rogan?

  People will come see you, man.

• 2:33:50Speaker 03

  I hope so.

• 2:33:51Joe Rogan?

  And you're very funny, so it's good. It's good to see you out there still doing it.

• 2:33:53Speaker 03

  Thanks for having me, I really appreciate it.

• 2:33:55Joe Rogan?

  My pleasure. I really enjoyed talking to you in the green room, I'm glad we did this, because that's a crazy ass story.

• 2:34:00Speaker 03

  Thank you, thank you.

• 2:34:01Joe Rogan?

  My pleasure. You're a good dude, Yakov. I love you.

• 2:34:03Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 2:34:04Joe Rogan?

  All right.

• 2:34:05Speaker 03

  I love you too.

• 2:34:06Joe Rogan?

  Bye, everybody.