Andy Lee - DO NOT Listen To This Episode!

When he was 15, Andy Lee’s mum forgot who he was. 💌 Join 9,400+ others in our newsletter community - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/ Given only two weeks to live, Andy tells Hugh, Ryan and Josh how this news impacted his family, impacted his childhood, and continues to impact his sense of self. And then, we’re going all the way back to the early days of Radio Karate, and Hamish & Andy. In a long overdue conversation (recorded, of course), Ryan and Andy chat about their own friendship dynamic and why they both felt like the odd one out. Getting down to business, Andy and Ryan discuss how a bunch of 20 year old guys made tough financial decisions while trying to remain mates, how they learnt to give constructive criticism to each other, and with the blessing of hindsight, how they feel about that time now. Andy, we’ve been waiting for this episode longer than a baker with his oven off. 0:00 – 2 years of secret vocal coaching 4:35 – HOW long for one cartoon episode? 5:48 – When Andy met Hamish (and Ryan) 9:39 – The impact of getting cancelled after 5 episodes 10:08 – The best advice Andy received 14:07 – Jealousy, Jealousy 20:25 – The Four Way Split of Hamish & Andy 23:42 – Should we be recording this? 25:10 – Social media has replaced the paparazzo 26:11 – Andy’s nude photo scandal 30:23 – Inspiration and renegotiation 36:55 – The Vulnerabilitea House 38:02 – When your mum is given two weeks to live 40:30 – Rapid deterioration and rush to hospital 43:28 – Taking on the parent role at 15 46:04 – Furious at the new normal 49:09 – Why “Don’t Worry, It’ll Be Fine” is the worst thing to say 54:36 – Andy’s Dad’s incredible sacrifice 58:20 – The Lee Gazette 1:00:50 – Why we should talk about will’s 🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode Ryan Shelton - Shame, Jealousy & Purpose - https://bit.ly/4A230B5 📺 Things to watch Institute of Sayings from Real Stories - https://bit.ly/4xBJHgq Do Not Watch This Show! - https://bit.ly/4cAwlIZ New Zealand Spy - https://bit.ly/4hdjPBI 🎧Things to listen to Andy Lee on Falling Upwards with Kate Langbroek - https://bit.ly/4yucp30 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  My mum got given two weeks to live when I was 15.

• 0:06Speaker 01

  Andy Lee faced the realities of life and death at a young age.

• 0:09Speaker 00

  She forgot how to walk, how to talk, who we all were. I found a crazy meeting Sue, my mum, because she was so much like my mum before she got sick.

• 0:19Speaker 02

  That really makes me quite emotional actually to know that.

• 0:23Speaker 01

  Andy and Ryan reminisce on the early days of their careers.

• 0:26Speaker 02

  Hamish was like, I want you to meet this friend of mine, Andy. And I'm like, who the fuck is this guy? It's like, he's way too attractive.

• 0:35Speaker 02

  I just felt this enormous amount of jealousy because you guys were having the career and the experience that I dreamed of.

• 0:42Speaker 00

  From my perspective with our company, from the whole ride, it was three of you guys who went to school together and me.

• 0:47Speaker 02

  I'm never thinking that you felt like the odd one out.

• 0:50Speaker 01

  And what it's been like for him to live a public life.

• 0:53Speaker 02

  You got sent an email letting you know that, hey, just so you know, these photos are circulating and it was you naked.

• 1:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:00Speaker 02

  Jesus.

• 1:01Speaker 00

  And you're like, oh shit. Grab yourself a cup. This is the vulnerability house.

• 1:13Speaker 00

  This is long overdue and so, so exciting and meaningful to me.

• 1:21Speaker 02

  Was there ever a discussion as to who would do the VO for the start of it?

• 1:24Speaker 00

  No, I think I just grabbed it. I think I just did it.

• 1:29Speaker 02

  Okay, let's go eight.

• 1:30Speaker 00

  Thank you.

• 1:30Speaker 02

  And you would have been my choice with all due respect to the others.

• 1:33Speaker 00

  I just wondered whether there was a discussion.

• 1:35Speaker 02

  There wasn't, was there?

• 1:36Speaker 00

  No.

• 1:37Speaker 02

  No, I just, I just thought I'd do it the best.

• 1:45Speaker 03

  I think that's fair. I think, I think he sat back over the last eight years and watched Josh and I attempt to act at times and do things like that and go, it's probably not there.

• 1:54Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 1:54Speaker 03

  Strong side.

• 1:55Speaker 02

  Look, you gotta know your strengths and weaknesses, you know? And I'm, and I'm really good at voiceovers. But you do an animation now. So like you know a lot about the voice.

• 2:07Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:07Speaker 02

  And like character voices.

• 2:10Speaker 00

  I had, I mean, when you watch it, you will go really, but I had two years of vocal coaching before we started the animation.

• 2:18Speaker 02

  For the animation?

• 2:19Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:19Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 2:20Speaker 00

  Cause it is a very good, cause I, when I first watched it, I didn't know that you were doing the main character. And so when it started, I was like, that's, that's Andy doing a character. I've never heard that really.

• 2:33Speaker 02

  Yeah. And so, I mean, people will watch it now and go, two, two years, really? So I don't, I don't actually like that information being out there. It's been a while now, went in and just tried to voice one day and it stuck.

• 2:44Speaker 03

  For the record, you offered up that information.

• 2:48Speaker 00

  But what was fascinating about working with a vocal coach, which actually made me much better as a broadcaster, was as Australians, we're very hard to teach accents to. Cause we don't open our mouths very much. We don't move our tongues very much.

• 3:03Speaker 02

  That's, that's your real voice.

• 3:06Speaker 00

  So that's, that's why she gave me mouth exercises that I had to do. And I'd wake up with a sore jaw and everything.

• 3:14Speaker 02

  Oh, to strengthen your.

• 3:15Speaker 00

  To strengthen our tongues. She said that the Scandinavians are the, are the best at picking up accents because they know exactly how to move their mouth and lips and tongue and we don't.

• 3:27Speaker 03

  So what are you doing? What kind of exercises are you doing?

• 3:28Speaker 00

  Well, one was just, just your tongue or your mouth like this.

• 3:32Speaker 00

  And that, yeah, like I had to do that for days and days and days.

• 3:35Speaker 02

  Really?

• 3:35Speaker 00

  Whoa. But to, to do all the, the sounds, like it'd be hoop, hope, hop, harp, heap, heap, hoop, hob, hob, har, hab, he, he, hook, ho, hawk, and just get all the Christmas going. And then they'd be, you know, like hoop, and then you go hoop, hoop, hoop, hop, harp, heap, he. And then you'd add an S, ho, sp, ho, sp, ho, sp, har, sp.

• 3:56Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 3:58Speaker 00

  And so you start hitting all the consonants and vowels much clearer. I found I was getting less tired during the hundred and during the podcast. Cause I'm actually.

• 4:08Speaker 03

  Training.

• 4:09Speaker 00

  Training.

• 4:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:10Speaker 00

  And I can move my mouth quicker. Normally at the end of a.

• 4:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:13Speaker 00

  Record, my mum would text me and go, you were tired that episode. But I get less of that now because I actually am a bit fitter. I know it sounds weird.

• 4:24Speaker 00

  Yeah, but after 20 years of broadcasting, I finally worked out how I can improve it a little bit.

• 4:29Speaker 02

  Yeah. Can't say this is exactly where I saw the episode go.

• 4:34Speaker 03

  Do you, do you love, like I was, I was lucky enough to have a tour of the studio the other day. Did like, do you love doing it? Does it, does it bring you so much happiness?

• 4:41Speaker 00

  Love it.

• 4:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:42Speaker 00

  I mean, it's a long process. 14 months to make one episode.

• 4:47Speaker 03

  It's a bloody great show.

• 4:48Speaker 00

  Of 11 minutes. Ryan was in just recently playing a couple of characters and was so fun, super fun.

• 4:54Speaker 02

  Yeah. Vocal training for that?

• 4:56Speaker 00

  Yeah, I did three years though.

• 4:59Speaker 00

  Yeah. Yeah. So kid stuff, there's no hiding. What I love about kids is they either like something or they don't. You give them something to eat, they spit it out or they go, can I have more? Like you don't, the politeness hasn't really entered the sphere of their reactions.

• 5:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:19Speaker 00

  And so that's what's great about testing this. And you do something and you see them cackling along or they're scared to keep going because it's do not watch this or do not turn the page. And you know, it is manipulation, which is.

• 5:33Speaker 03

  Always fun.

• 5:35Speaker 00

  But I think, well, Hamish and I talked about it with comedy, like comedy is manipulation. We are going to manipulate someone to laugh. Like that's, it's an emotional manipulation. Hopefully it's for good, not for evil. And I just love that raw feedback from the, from an animation perspective.

• 5:50Speaker 03

  Yeah. Well, you can see as an adult watching, you can see the care that's gone into making it. It's just brilliant.

• 5:54Speaker 00

  Thank you, mate.

• 5:56Speaker 02

  List off all the things he's done. Like we've got to remind everyone.

• 6:00Speaker 03

  Well, can I, can I start the story very quickly? I feel like everyone knows Andy Lee. Like I feel like that it doesn't.

• 6:04Speaker 02

  I know, but there's so many things. It's like, it's a good reminder.

• 6:07Speaker 03

  Well, I'll be honest, I don't have a bio in front of me, so. I was trying to skirt around it, but this is Andy Lee from Hamish and Andy. So, but just a quick story before we get into it. I just, so the other day, and there was a point to this story. So we had a tradie come around the other day and I was on the phone to him, never met him before. We're trying to work out like when he could come over, when I was going to be there. And we were really struggling to find a time on the calendar. And he said to me, never met him before. And he said, God mate, trying to find time on your calendar is like trying to find a needle in a bee stack. And he kind of laughed a bit and as if unknowingly, like I should know what that was. And I was a bit confused. I was like, God, what a weird saying that is. Didn't hear much of it. He comes over a few days later and he's in our place. So I was a bit late. We're not surprised anyone. He was waiting at the front and, and I got there. I was like, oh, sorry. And he goes,

• 6:51Speaker 03

  mate, I've been waiting longer than a baker with the oven turned off. And I went, I was like, what the fuck? What is going on here? And then I just didn't really, I was just confused. He was looking at me like, you gotta know what I'm saying.

• 7:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 7:02Speaker 02

  And you're not a fan of our early work.

• 7:04Speaker 03

  Well, I, well, I was a huge fan of it. Like I didn't remember that one exactly, but for those people who were confused as I were. So he was referencing and he told me about it and I went and watched it. It was a skit that you and Ryan and Hamish and Whipper did 20, at least 20 years ago, probably one of your earlier bits of work.

• 7:21Speaker 00

  2004.

• 7:23Speaker 03

  It is brilliant. So, so it's the Institute of Sayings, basically. I mean, you guys can probably describe it, but.

• 7:30Speaker 02

  Well, yeah. I mean, yeah, it was like a show called Real Stories. It was our first show that we made, like a full show that we made. And we did it with Roving. So Rove, like Rove's production company. But it was our first full thing. We were so naive, so young. And each episode had like three to four fake current affair stories, I guess. And this one was a bit like a sort of a feature, like mockumentary about the Institute of Sayings. And we were all like.

• 8:00Speaker 00

  And where sayings come from.

• 8:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:02Speaker 03

  And you were both brilliant in it, like so funny. Anyway, I watched it and I just wanted to say, I think that it just made me think about.

• 8:08Speaker 00

  I was playing a really low voice slick guy in that whole, yeah, that whole episode.

• 8:12Speaker 02

  No voice training.

• 8:15Speaker 02

  We did, we did, we probably played 30 characters each in that show and did no vocal training. No acting training either.

• 8:22Speaker 00

  We did turn wigs around a lot.

• 8:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, we ran out of a wig budget, so we just wore them backwards.

• 8:29Speaker 00

  But it was amazing. There was, there's something in that. Like I, I think it's some of our funniest stuff, that show. Certainly for me, I think it's the funniest things we've been in and we've written. And I think it is that freedom. Like when people are naive, you take bigger risks. I certainly took far bigger risks back, like earlier in my career than I do now because you think, oh my, is this going to affect the brand? What am I protecting? All that stuff. And you know, you also know how hard things are. So you don't dive in.

• 8:58Speaker 02

  Yeah. There's less to lose.

• 9:01Speaker 00

  There's less, there's, yeah, there was kind of zero to lose, except maybe embarrassment is on the table if it doesn't go well. But if no one watched it, no one cares anyway. So.

• 9:09Speaker 02

  I mean, I remember like when, when we, the very, very first show that we worked on together, which was called Hamish and Andy. It was the Channel 7 show that we didn't produce or anything, but Hamish and Andy ended up hosting it. And it was a big sort of shiny Channel 7 show and it didn't work out, got kind of like, like Channel 7 cancelled it after how many episodes?

• 9:29Speaker 00

  Five.

• 9:29Speaker 02

  Five episodes. And I gen, I was riding on it and I genuinely remember thinking, I mean, it didn't hit me as hard as it hit Hamzandie because they were out front. But I was, I just thought, I genuinely thought, this is how naive I was. I genuinely thought, oh, that's, that's totally fine. We'll just get another show.

• 9:44Speaker 00

  Exactly right. That's what we felt.

• 9:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:46Speaker 03

  The thing I was going to ask you, like watching that skit, it made me realise how long you guys have been doing what you do for. And I, and I just wondered if you ever, I know for you guys, it's about making people laugh, but when you also think about it, like you guys have been spreading joy and happiness across Australia or around the world on a scale, like I think anyone's ever really done it before. Do you ever feel proud about that? Do you ever think about, gosh, that's really a cool thing we're doing? Or is it just always about, let's make people laugh?

• 10:13Speaker 00

  Yeah. Ham's better at it than me at stopping and taking it in. Ryan knows me. I'm not a stop and take it in kind of guy that often. I'm.

• 10:23Speaker 02

  You're a what's next guy.

• 10:24Speaker 00

  Yeah. So, and that's, that's, that's a fault of mine. Like in, to use the radio terms, like we'd have something that was extremely successful in a moment on radio, like something unbelievable. And you know, producers and everyone, you'd sell it, get to the ad break and people would celebrate and go, yeah. And I would walk out to the airlock and go, it was great. You know what we should have done? And Sam Kavanaugh, who's a fantastic producer and friend of Ryan's, he was our producer at the time. And he pulled me aside and said, hey, can you stop that? Can you give everybody the win? I was like, oh no, I was, I was celebrating the win. And he's like, yeah, but just don't, don't even bother with the feedback. Don't even bother with the what's next. Enjoy it.

• 11:07Speaker 00

  Jot it down. If you think it's important to reflect on tomorrow, we'll do that. But just, can you just give us the moment? And it was such a nice, brave conversation for him to have. And I've had a number of those in my careers where this really great mentors pull me aside and go, "Hey, could you approach it this way?" And you try it. And to be honest, the next day I'd look at it and go, "I don't need to bring this up." You know? And it's a good way to kind of change my behaviour. But if I didn't have a strong producer and a strong mentor in Sam, I probably wouldn't have changed that behaviour. And then I have to remind myself to keep doing that across the journey.

• 11:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:46Speaker 00

  With all the things that we do. Cause I love the journey. I actually, I don't care about the outcome nearly as much. I love it. It makes you feel good. There's ego and stuff, but I just love making things. As Ryan knows, and I love them being perfect. And if we're happy, I'm like, that job's done if we were happy when it's out there. And, cause all the other stuff's out of control.

• 12:05Speaker 02

  I think, I don't know, I think over the years, cause for those who don't know, like we've worked on so many things together, you and I. Like we, all the Hamish and Andy gap years and True Story and Perfect Holiday. Like that was a good 10 years of

• 12:18Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 12:18Speaker 02

  late night edits together.

• 12:20Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 12:21Speaker 02

  And I think, I reckon some of the best like moments that you and I have had together and most kind of joyous, like happy moments is like at 2am in an edits suite. When we finally like nailed whatever editing issue we had. And like the, you know, that's when I reckon I've seen you at your most like happy.

• 12:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 12:43Speaker 02

  Is that fair to say?

• 12:44Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 12:44Speaker 02

  In our, in our relationship.

• 12:45Speaker 00

  Yeah, absolutely. And I loved it. And I still love it.

• 12:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:51Speaker 02

  And you and I, that's where we got the most giggles.

• 12:54Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 12:55Speaker 02

  And it was really collaborative and we worked on the collaborative side of it. Like we, we, people go, you know, how long, how can you do that for so long? It's like, it's not without work. It's not without getting business coaches in to, to work out our relationship and work out how we get the best out of each other. But the respect was absolutely there the whole time.

• 13:16Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 13:17Speaker 02

  And we, and then we so knew each other's strengths so much. So basically you revert, the same way as you did with the opening of this,

• 13:25Speaker 02

  vulnerability house is you go, okay, well this is Ricefield, you know? He's the sink hawk. Anything that might be vaguely out of sync, if the audio is out of sync with the lips.

• 13:36Speaker 00

  That's so true. I've never met anyone that can pick a frame out like I can.

• 13:40Speaker 02

  Yeah. So basically Rog, I think that's out of sync and I'll go, he'll be right. I don't need to challenge this. I'll let them work that out. I don't need to expend any of my energy, maybe even looking at that. And so that's what a great partnership's about.

• 13:53Speaker 00

  It was such a niche superpower. No, you've got more strengths than just that.

• 13:59Speaker 02

  You know, and Ryan didn't do much, but we brought him in for like that sort of third pass of the audio sweeten. And he could pick out the one or two frames or a, and then he could go home.

• 14:09Speaker 00

  AI can do it now. So he's been replaced by shit.

• 14:14Speaker 02

  Hi, it's Ryan from The Imperfects and I'm reaching out to you now because we need your help. Gosh darn it.

• 14:21Speaker 00

  What, why do we need?

• 14:22Speaker 02

  Sorry. No, we're, I'm just making a plea to the listeners and viewers to ask them to subscribe to the show in whichever way they see fit, because it really helps. The more subscribers, the better we can make this show. Am I right?

• 14:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I don't think we need to. I think we could just ask them politely.

• 14:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, but if I use the emotional music.

• 14:40Speaker 00

  I think the music's a bit much.

• 14:41Speaker 02

  Is it?

• 14:42Speaker 03

  Who's playing that music?

• 14:43Speaker 02

  Doesn't matter who's playing the music. The important thing is we're pulling at the heartstrings and asking them to do us a solid.

• 14:49Speaker 00

  Could we not just ask, like just ask them straight? Like, it'd really help us if you guys subscribed because we would be able to make more of the show and make the show better.

• 14:58Speaker 02

  Oh, and not use emotional manipulation.

• 15:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 15:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, I reckon.

• 15:01Speaker 02

  Well, you can give it a go, but I doubt it'll work.

• 15:04Speaker 03

  I feel like it'd be remiss of us not to ask you about, I mean, we'll, we'll get to the cards in a second. But we've had, you know, Ryan's spoken on this show years ago about how you felt being friends with Hamish. And then Hamish now did take off and become the biggest thing in the country. And your, how you felt off the side and Hamish spoke about how he felt about like, I'd love to hear your sort of experience of it. Coming into this group of, into this friendship group and how it worked with the friendship side of things with Ryan and, and, and knowing that you guys have been huge.

• 15:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm so keen to hear your side of how it felt.

• 15:40Speaker 02

  Yeah. When, I haven't listened to anything that you have said about it.

• 15:46Speaker 00

  It's really good.

• 15:47Speaker 02

  Quite purposefully, like, um, I feel like, I didn't know, like I had no rise feeling that.

• 15:56Speaker 02

  So in the, in, in what Hames talked about and you've talked to about it, I'd like, I feel sad that you felt like that.

• 16:03Speaker 03

  Just for, just for reference. So you were talking about how you felt quite jealous saying.

• 16:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was, it was, it was when Hames and I were, you know, went to high school together. And then in uni, we, we, Hames, you met Hamish and then you guys became friends. Hamish, there was a, we met at TGI Fridays on Chapel Street. And Hames was like, I want you to meet this friend of mine, Andy. And I'm like, who the fuck is this guy? It's like, he's way too attractive.

• 16:31Speaker 02

  And he plays hockey? Who plays hockey?

• 16:34Speaker 00

  Field hockey.

• 16:35Speaker 02

  We got this all on. And, and anyway, and so, and, but then we became friends and then we started making sketches together. We did a show on like community television and it was great. But then like you and Hames formed this like bond, which, which sort of you did a comedy festival show. And then you started doing radio together and that kind of obviously did what it did. And I just felt this enormous amount of like jealousy because you guys were having the career and the experience that I dreamed of. And I was too young to really have any perspective or, you know, think anything but. But I'm entitled to that as well because I was friends with Hamish first.

• 17:16Speaker 02

  Now with clarity and therapy and everything, I know that like, I wasn't entitled to anything. And I should, if I wanted a career, I should just go and get one.

• 17:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 17:25Speaker 02

  Basically. But the thing that I listened to, who told me? Someone told me about, cause you were on No Filter with Kate Langbroek.

• 17:33Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 17:33Speaker 02

  And

• 17:34Speaker 00

  Yeah, she brought it up.

• 17:35Speaker 02

  And she brought it up. And it was actually really comforting because not that I ever thought that you thought anything bad or did anything intentionally bad or anything. Cause, but what the perspective I hadn't thought about until I listened to that was that you didn't know Hamish in my past.

• 17:54Speaker 00

  Nah.

• 17:54Speaker 02

  Like you didn't, you just met Hamish as a friend. You just met this guy and he has another friend, like everyone does.

• 18:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 18:01Speaker 02

  You weren't to know that I, him and I were like this, like, well, not even that, but that we were like, had. And we didn't even have dreams actually of like being a duo. Like it was no future where I believe that Hamish and I would become anything like what you guys did.

• 18:19Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 18:20Speaker 02

  And so, but in my mind, I sort of, at the time, carried this sense of like, this is fucked. This is bullshit. It was like so me, me, me. But it was really comforting to sort of have that perspective that you had no idea.

• 18:35Speaker 00

  Yeah. I, I knew that you guys were all friends, like, and I've, I've always tried to be really respectful of that. The hardest part for me with people might know is with it, I said to Hame, we should do this. We're having a lot of fun. We should do this. And he went, oh, I've got a friend at school that I kind of did this with. It'd be great to include him.

• 18:50Speaker 03

  And I sort of pinky promised him in year nine.

• 18:53Speaker 00

  And I was like, okay, cool. Yeah. I've got a mate called Dunk who I do this as well. So we'll just make, make a four pack and then let's find someone to film it, which was Tim.

• 19:01Speaker 02

  So it's Tim Bartley who we went to school with, yeah.

• 19:03Speaker 00

  And the part where Dunk kind of left, came about.

• 19:10Speaker 03

  Who was my best friend at Kinder, by the way, just for, just.

• 19:12Speaker 02

  Really?

• 19:14Speaker 03

  I'm guessing Dunk and Kelly.

• 19:16Speaker 00

  We actually met and we discussed percentages. It was really gross. It was really weird.

• 19:21Speaker 02

  That was sort of the moment where it started becoming

• 19:23Speaker 00

  A business.

• 19:23Speaker 02

  A business and the series.

• 19:26Speaker 00

  And people were saying what each other's percentages should be.

• 19:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:29Speaker 00

  Oh God. And the fact that Dunk's just a legend.

• 19:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:33Speaker 00

  But also didn't really have a heart in it. Like I've talked about it with Dunk since I'm still best mates with Dunk. He was like, okay, well, you know, it, he, he, he, he made the breakup so easy.

• 19:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:47Speaker 00

  But that was the only emotional part for me where I'm like, oh, this is really difficult.

• 19:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:52Speaker 00

  And then from my perspective with our company, from the whole ride, it was three of you guys who went to school together and me.

• 19:58Speaker 02

  Yeah. It's so fascinating. Cause I, I, of course, cause I'm so stuck in my own shit. I'm never thinking that.

• 20:06Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 20:06Speaker 02

  Cause you carry yourself with so much confidence. You are very confident. And from, at least from the outside, it seems very self-assured and comfortable in your own skin. And so I would never have thought that you felt like the odd one out, even though that makes so much sense.

• 20:23Speaker 00

  Yeah. And so then for the rest of the, the business life, which still goes on, I never weighed in to any politics between the four of us because I knew your friendship. The friendships, your friendships and my individual friendships became more important. So if we're ever having someone going, should they get this much? I was like, doesn't matter. None of that's going to matter.

• 20:51Speaker 00

  For our company, it was four-way split. Hamish, Ryan, Tim and myself. Right? And that was so beautiful because it doesn't bring in any worry about what's going on. And it can breed resentment and go, oh gosh, hang on. But Hamish and I are out here doing this.

• 21:08Speaker 02

  Yeah. Did you ever think that?

• 21:09Speaker 00

  At times, but like, I love, if this is our band. I love the music. I love getting to play the gigs.

• 21:20Speaker 00

  Why would I fuck with that?

• 21:22Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 21:22Speaker 00

  Like, if I come, if I come in and go, you know what? Hamish and I are a bit more at the front. I think we should have seventy percent and you guys have thirty. Immediately, you're risking the environment you love.

• 21:34Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 21:35Speaker 00

  And so you've got to be at peace with that for the greater good. And you go, why am I doing it? If you're doing it just for money, then you should have those conversations. We were never doing it for money.

• 21:45Speaker 02

  No.

• 21:46Speaker 00

  We were really fortunate.

• 21:47Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 21:48Speaker 00

  Uh, and that's why, that's how I reconcile that pretty quickly in my head with a lot of my ventures. It's like, if the playground's fun and you want to be in there, what elements of it are you willing to risk?

• 22:02Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 22:03Speaker 00

  Uh, for what aspect, whether it's monetary or whether it's, yeah. So that, that's, that's how I would.

• 22:09Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 22:09Speaker 00

  Kind of, kind of reconcile that in my brain. Yeah, it was, it's an interesting, we haven't really talked about it, but.

• 22:15Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 22:15Speaker 00

  It's very rare for people to do the same thing at the same time. It just doesn't happen. And so there'll be, there's times where I'm off just, this is Ryan and I's bit of the project to do. And you've got to be collaborative and you want that to be together, doing something together. So you don't want someone sitting there going, hang about, he's getting more than me, I'm not getting, you know? Um, and then Tim and I, and then it might be us three, and then it might be Ham and I, or Ham, Ryan and I in the creative while Tim sits out. That really was great, the way we managed to massage all that.

• 22:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:47Speaker 00

  Uh, and then you would have times of three of you where I wouldn't be involved.

• 22:50Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 22:51Speaker 00

  Really?

• 22:53Speaker 02

  Really, but yeah.

• 22:54Speaker 00

  Yeah, and that, and that is a challenge emotionally for guys in their early twenties.

• 23:00Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 23:01Speaker 00

  Um.

• 23:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:02Speaker 00

  And you guys are far more in touch with your emotions than I definitely was at the time. And you still are more.

• 23:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't know if I was at the time though, to be honest. I don't think, I don't think at the time, I don't really think I really properly was until, yeah, my, my thirties, like mid thirties probably. Like especially when we were starting, I had no ability to talk about anything. I still kind of struggle with it now unless I'm doing this podcast, to be honest. And so it's like, it's kind of nice to be able to talk to you about this, even though it's kind of weird that we haven't like talked about it in detail.

• 23:38Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 23:38Speaker 02

  But this is kind of often the reason why I like doing this and getting on friends. Cause we can like, talk about things that would be kind of weird if we caught up and just talked about out of nowhere.

• 23:46Speaker 00

  Yes, but I feel the opposite.

• 23:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:49Speaker 00

  I feel we don't need a podcast to talk about this stuff.

• 23:53Speaker 02

  That's wrong.

• 23:55Speaker 00

  So that's, that's, I suppose that's what I felt was my instant reaction about Ry talking about this publicly.

• 24:01Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 24:02Speaker 00

  Hmm. Is, is I'm like, why would you do that?

• 24:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's interesting. Yeah.

• 24:07Speaker 00

  Like.

• 24:07Speaker 02

  We haven't talked about this.

• 24:08Speaker 00

  Like, we, we should, we should talk about this, shouldn't we? Because then we can get everyone's perspective before we go out there. Not in a, not in a way where I'm like, what the fuck are you doing, Ry? But that, that would have been my instant reaction.

• 24:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, it was, I did think that, I definitely did think that at the time. And it's, it is a weird part of this podcast, to be honest, that it's like, trying to find the line of like, am I just talking about this? Because it's going to be like content? Or is it, is this necessary to talk about this publicly? And, and particularly when there are, or only really when there are other people involved.

• 24:44Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 24:45Speaker 02

  And I did speak, I spoke to you before I.

• 24:46Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 24:47Speaker 02

  Did it just to let you know and get your permission really.

• 24:49Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 24:50Speaker 02

  Or your blessing, um, which you gave.

• 24:52Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 24:52Speaker 02

  But, but, but yeah, I, I can understand that. It's, it's a weird, it's a weird thing. And I think I was, I don't, the irony of it is I don't think I ever would have spoken even Hamish about it, had I not wanted to talk about it on the podcast.

• 25:06Speaker 00

  And I understand that.

• 25:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:08Speaker 00

  It's an interesting world you guys have created.

• 25:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:12Speaker 00

  Where I think there can be a falsehood in what has been solved just by talking about it. I love what you guys are doing, encouraging people to talk about things.

• 25:20Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 25:20Speaker 00

  But I think the next step has to be, yeah, that's really hard. How do I do that in my own way, my own private way with the people that are really important to me?

• 25:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:30Speaker 00

  And that's normally where I see it. But I feel like there's a really fine line between reflecting and wallowing.

• 25:38Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 25:39Speaker 00

  And I'm not a wallower.

• 25:40Speaker 02

  No. Yeah. Yeah, I was just gonna say, I find when I listen to other shows that I have a, um, cause I guess there's two aspects to that. There's the guest, but there's also the person listening who feels that that can take something away. So often I feel like I listen to a show and I'm like, I'm gonna, that's, that's gonna be me, I'm gonna change now. And then like, two weeks later, the lesson wears off. The hard work is how you apply some of this stuff to your own life, I think, and have genuine, proper, long-term reflection and introspection.

• 26:07Speaker 00

  Yeah, which is what is interesting about social media versus like paparazzi. Paparazzi is dying, which I think is great.

• 26:15Speaker 02

  Is it really?

• 26:15Speaker 00

  Yeah. It's really, like in Australia particularly, it's fallen off a cliff. They can't afford to, they, they were run by glossy magazines and now online. But they used to pay a lot of money for photos.

• 26:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:27Speaker 00

  Um, and I experienced that most when I was with a high-profile person in Meegen back in the day. But they can't, like, Woman's Day is not gonna pay eighty grand for a photo anymore. Just, they don't sell enough. And so that diminishes, but also social media comes along and we get access to these people. The first, the paparazzi were serving people's thirst for, I wonder what they're like in their own worlds.

• 26:50Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 26:51Speaker 00

  Social media comes along and gives you exactly what they're like in their own worlds. But now the creators are actually putting out what they would think, you, you'd like to think their lives are in their own world.

• 27:03Speaker 02

  It's curated, yeah.

• 27:04Speaker 00

  So, yeah, it's a very interesting part we're at at the moment with it all.

• 27:08Speaker 02

  The, that, the moment that really spooked me for you was when you and Megan were away. I think you're in Bali or something at a, at a like really private hotel resort. And you got sent an email, like after the thing, from someone letting you know that, hey, just so you know, these photos are circulating. And it was you naked.

• 27:30Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 27:30Speaker 02

  Like out the, like on the balcony of your hotel room.

• 27:34Speaker 00

  I was in outdoor shower in a private villa in Ubud, Bali, with jungle across the way.

• 27:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:41Speaker 00

  And the photographer had flown there and hiked through the jungle and taken photos of us. And I got an email saying, just so you know, these, these photos are for sale now.

• 27:53Speaker 02

  Jesus.

• 27:53Speaker 00

  And you're like, oh, shit.

• 27:56Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 27:57Speaker 00

  Now, my first thing was like.

• 27:58Speaker 02

  And you were young then, that was a long time ago.

• 28:00Speaker 00

  Yeah. So probably mid twenties, uh, twenty-seven, twenty-eight maybe.

• 28:05Speaker 00

  First thing you're embarrassed about your body, like, oh my God, I'm taking this out. What was I doing? You know, like all those type of things. And you know that they can't print them with like, with full nudity. But there was eighteen hundred outlets that it gets sent to, to be able to.

• 28:22Speaker 02

  Eighteen hundred?

• 28:23Speaker 00

  To be able to buy, like, so it's not like just women's, it just goes out to, you know?

• 28:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:28Speaker 00

  The progress leader of Campbell World.

• 28:32Speaker 02

  Local boy. We got local boy nude. Local boy done real good.

• 28:37Speaker 00

  So they are all part of, you know, an image collective. It's, it's about that. It's, yeah. And so they can all log on, so the email can go around going, hey, you're, you don't have to buy this to see it. You can all go around, you can just log on and see it.

• 28:54Speaker 02

  So what happens then? What did you do?

• 28:56Speaker 00

  Nothing.

• 28:57Speaker 02

  You can't do anything? So is this person just letting you know?

• 28:59Speaker 00

  Just so you know, nude photos of you will come out. And they did come out, they were printed, I can't remember what new idea was, they were printed a few.

• 29:04Speaker 02

  Really?

• 29:05Speaker 00

  Yeah, and they just had that too rude sticker, you know, that too rude. Thankfully, too rude's a lot of letters, so it made me.

• 29:17Speaker 00

  So, so I think that was generous, but how did he even get through the door?

• 29:22Speaker 00

  But definitely a moment of, oh, okay, this is awful. Um, but you, you realize what you can control and can't control and it's a good, good lesson. Thankfully, back in the day, airlines would check ticketing and know what celebrities would go on and then leak that for that. It was this great exchange of information to be able to get people to follow people to different areas. It just, they can't afford it anymore, which is, which is great, but certainly felt vulnerable at the time.

• 29:54Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 29:55Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 29:55Speaker 02

  I know we have to get to these, but I, I have a, I want to ask a question about what we've been talking about. Um, and it's a little bit.

• 30:01Speaker 00

  My penis?

• 30:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 30:05Speaker 02

  So how many letters actually?

• 30:08Speaker 03

  How far into two?

• 30:13Speaker 02

  No, I, I think it's really sort of interesting and brave of you guys to speak a bit about the relationship because I think it's really brilliant, the way that you had the initial, you guys as a group, but like not we'll split it equally. And I think, I hope I'm not sharing too much from our perspective, but I remember Ryan, early on, when Bridge was joining the company and was going to become a co-owner with us, it was like the discussion that came, and I have to give you credit because it came from you of like, no, it needs to be an even split. If we're going to do things, we do it evenly, which is the greatest basis to have a company. But I think there's also,

• 30:53Speaker 02

  there's not just money when you're being successful. And I think like Hamish and Andy and you guys, there's awards and there's success and there's sort of relevance and all that kind of stuff. Is it hard when you're all working together and you all recognize each other's individual talents, but to then being in a public sphere, being recognized and getting more credit than everyone else in the team? Is that?

• 31:17Speaker 03

  Nah, it's great.

• 31:20Speaker 03

  And also you managed to negotiate 5149 against Hamish.

• 31:25Speaker 00

  And look, I should point out that within those deals, like as far as four-way split, Hamish and I could then do exclusivity deals with a, with a network or something like that, that is separate because that was about the Hamish and Andy performer. So like every dollar we're earning is floating back. I don't want people to walk away thinking that that's

• 31:42Speaker 03

  That would have been good.

• 31:44Speaker 00

  So but from a company perspective and ownership of what we were creating, those shows are co-owned evenly by all of us and the trailing income, et cetera. Um, look, not, not really. I never really thought about it.

• 32:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:00Speaker 00

  Um, I hoped that we thanked everyone that worked with us in our own way.

• 32:07Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 32:08Speaker 00

  Um, but yeah, it never felt like, oh gosh, aren't I lucky to be out here? I felt like I'd achieved that. We've done this. Um, obviously the shows were surrounded by Hamish and I and you do need a face for some of those things, like different in dramas where it might be a whole cast, but the creator is it. But we had a bit of a hybrid company. I mean, I'm generalizing here. Working Dog, the brilliance of that, there's probably no singular person who's the most famous out of those, those guys. You know, Rob Sitch with Utopia, but then Tommy Glazer's

• 32:50Speaker 00

  doing Have You Been Paying Attention? And then Santos got Cup Fever and they all, they all, but I think the ideas that came out of Working Dog is what really makes Working Dog that company.

• 33:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:01Speaker 00

  And then Roving Enterprises was Rove. They were selling Rove at the time. They've since expanded, but he was very much a celebrity-based production company and it was off him, which happens a lot in overseas as well. And I kind of felt like we were a really nice hybrid.

• 33:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:16Speaker 00

  Where we thought our ideas were super strong. We really wanted to put ourselves up alongside Working Dog with the style and ideas, new, unique, different. And that's that hub. And then we also had Hamish and Andy as a high-profile celebrity face. So we would think, I thought we were getting the best of both worlds, but not sure how you saw it.

• 33:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, we did. I think definitely by the end, when you look at the kind of like all the things we did, it's, it feels like that. Definitely at the start, I think I felt, because I'm a performer and I felt like I want to be, I want to be doing what you guys are doing. And I, and I had, I carried all this like gross resentment that I wasn't being given what I thought was my fair go of the performing pie. Um, but since, since then realized, well, even while I was there at the back end of it, realized that like, no, I'm, they don't owe me anything. Like no one owes me anything. And I just sort of had the realization that I need to go out and

• 34:15Speaker 02

  do, like you guys did, go out and like earn my right to have my show or whatever it might be.

• 34:22Speaker 00

  And we put time and effort into your shows.

• 34:24Speaker 02

  Heaps, yeah.

• 34:25Speaker 00

  Yeah, like we, we acknowledged that, like the discussion came from, but Tim and Tim mainly is like, you know, we've poured money and time and money into Hamish and Andy's stuff. It's time we should really focus on Ry's show. And like, yeah, okay, let's get in and let's do that. I found that harder, I reckon. And, and I think I got naturally left out of those a little bit because I'm broad. Like I was broad, like broad, as in my ideas are broad.

• 34:54Speaker 02

  Oh, like, like, like from a tone point of view.

• 34:57Speaker 00

  Point of view. And Ry's comedy is so brilliant and niche. And so I think I was offering up ideas to try and make it broader, which actually was taking it away from what it's true creative pursuit would be. And I found, I, you didn't push me away. Let's get that straight. I found like I'm in meetings going, I'm offering things that Ry doesn't want or need here.

• 35:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, right.

• 35:20Speaker 00

  Uh, and, and I'd keep offering them up and then the next draft will come back. I'm like, none of these have been taken up. So am I helpful?

• 35:29Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 35:30Speaker 00

  And so, but it's also, there's an actual jealousy back, as in not jealousy, envious of what you can do with niche comedy. Like when I'm over here playing broad and I'm not allowed to swear, like if I swear, everyone's shocked. And, and, and it felt like you were freer. Like the grass can always be greener. Jealous is the wrong word, but it's more just like, I'm like, oh gosh, Ry's so good at that. I could never, I can never do that. I can, even if I wanted to, I probably couldn't even go back there because everyone go, what the hell is this guy doing now?

• 35:58Speaker 02

  Hmm. I have thought that actually. I've actually thought that with you and Hames individually and together, because we started off doing very kind of like British comedy-inspired, like sketches on like community TV and then even to real stories to that extent, like very comedy-focused things. And I often wonder, is it kind of a bit sad for you that it is, it might be a bit weird if you went and did a sketch show now?

• 36:26Speaker 00

  I don't think sad is the wrong word. I think it would be a challenge for people to watch it. You've got to come back to like, why are you doing it? I do it because it's fun. I'll just do it. Now, people might think it's awful and my career might be over and I'm probably getting to a stage where I'd be comfortable with that. Um, but yeah, you're spot on. Like I recently acted in New Zealand Spies on the ABC at the moment.

• 36:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:45Speaker 00

  And I play a killer. It's a comedy spy thriller and I shoot a lot of people in the head.

• 36:52Speaker 02

  And I went cast once again, you list up.

• 36:54Speaker 00

  Which when they sent me the script and said, can you do this? I said, are you sure people aren't going to tune in and go, I don't buy it. I don't even get it. Like, this is, this is the kids' show guy.

• 37:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:07Speaker 00

  But they, they were happy and they liked my, I said, can I throw something down for you? They liked it and so and did it. So it's, it was fun to explore that and to go down the path.

• 37:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:17Speaker 00

  I think though, I've got more courage to do that now because we've had such a good run. Opposed to when you're starting out your career and you're going, I think I could make this a career. And what's the step I've got to take?

• 37:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, more considered.

• 37:33Speaker 00

  Yeah. And now you go, I mean, the media landscape's changed so much. Now I'm going, gosh, I wish they gave more people more chances.

• 37:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:43Speaker 00

  It's just so hard for people to get in now.

• 37:46Speaker 02

  Which seems crazy considering how democratic it appears.

• 37:51Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 37:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:52Speaker 03

  Um, we need to get the cards.

• 37:53Speaker 00

  Sorry, sorry, cards, cards.

• 37:54Speaker 03

  No, no, it's great, but we don't need to do the cards. So.

• 37:57Speaker 02

  The bloody format.

• 37:58Speaker 03

  I know, sorry.

• 38:00Speaker 02

  Slave to the format. Uh, yeah. So, um, Andy, you know how this works, but for those who don't, this is our vulnerability. T house. There's a deck of cards in front of you and on every single card, there is a question which may prompt a vulnerable memory or story from your life. So if you pick the top three cards, read them out. And if one of those resonates with you, then or triggers a story, then you can then share it.

• 38:28Speaker 00

  What childhood challenges best prepared you for adulthood?

• 38:34Speaker 00

  He's pondering, for those listening, he's pondering as he draws the other card. What has been your biggest failure and how was it good or bad for you?

• 38:44Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 38:47Speaker 00

  What is something you want to forgive yourself for?

• 38:53Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 38:54Speaker 00

  The one that probably resonates just naturally off the bat is the childhood challenge.

• 38:58Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 38:59Speaker 00

  That best prepares you for adulthood.

• 39:02Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 39:03Speaker 00

  And Ry's heard a lot of this, so.

• 39:05Speaker 02

  Take it away.

• 39:08Speaker 00

  He was a good cricketer, but not the best.

• 39:12Speaker 00

  Um, well, my mum got given two weeks to live in 1997, 96, 97. Yeah.

• 39:20Speaker 02

  So just, so this, I just, I know the headlines of this, but I actually have never really spoken to you about this in detail. So, yeah.

• 39:28Speaker 00

  So she got a very, a rare disease called cerebral vasculitis. I think she was the first to survive it in Australia.

• 39:35Speaker 03

  So how old were you when this happened?

• 39:36Speaker 00

  I was 15.

• 39:39Speaker 03

  Do you remember being told? Do you?

• 39:40Speaker 00

  No, my mum, mum was, started doing weird things. So I was watching the, uh, the tennis and mum walked in and my mum's pretty proper, as Ry knows. Um, mum walked in, Mary Pearce, the French tennis player was playing. Mum went, she's got big boobs.

• 40:06Speaker 00

  And I went, Margaret Lee.

• 40:09Speaker 02

  As a 15-year-old.

• 40:10Speaker 00

  I was trying to pretend I hadn't noticed. But it's probably one of the reasons I was watching Mary Pearce versus. This is Amanda Quitzer.

• 40:21Speaker 02

  And I looked at her going, all right, that's the oddest thing I've ever heard my mum say. And she said, and you're not allowed to touch them and walked off.

• 40:33Speaker 00

  And I went, hmm, okay, wow.

• 40:37Speaker 02

  And she's, she's not, she wasn't someone who talked dirty as a joking way.

• 40:41Speaker 00

  No, I've never heard her swear.

• 40:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:43Speaker 00

  In my life.

• 40:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:44Speaker 00

  So I'm like, okay, that's peculiar. And then we were all way, um, in the country where my mum grew up and I could hear her yelling at night. And I was like, what is going on? And then she was just sleeping all day. And she was found this banana land outside and she's not a lazy person at all. And she'd just lie there and not speak much. And I was, and my brother were wheeling her around into different shades and we're like, dad's like, something's not right.

• 41:17Speaker 02

  Cause how, how old was, how old was she at this point?

• 41:20Speaker 00

  She would have been forty four, like our age.

• 41:23Speaker 02

  Our age.

• 41:24Speaker 00

  Yeah. Um, and then my recollection was dad said, we've got to go down to Melbourne. The doctors think we should go down to Melbourne. And she didn't quite like being upright. So I remember mum being in the front seat of the car folded all the way back. And I was in the backseat behind her, just holding her shoulders as we drove kind of two and a half hours back to Melbourne. And then they started the tests and they didn't know what it was, but rapid decline. She forgot how to walk, how to talk.

• 41:56Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 41:57Speaker 00

  Who we all were. And then they said it's, it's going down, deteriorating rapidly, we think two weeks. And so you're kind of trying to compute that.

• 42:08Speaker 02

  So as, as, as far as like the, the change that this was, like, what was, what was your mum like?

• 42:17Speaker 00

  Yeah, mum was super social. Um, like a go getter, primary school teacher and my mum and dad are both primary school teachers. So just great people, love the kids, love the fun. You know, would, would have played social tennis, all that kind of stuff. And, and then it just evaporates, that just goes. She was in hospital for a long time, for months and months and months. I'm going to say four or five months. As they tried to work out what was happening and stabilized her. And you, I'd go in to see her every, every day and she, and you introduce yourself. You're like, hi, I'm Andy, I play hockey.

• 42:55Speaker 02

  Field hockey.

• 42:56Speaker 00

  Not the cool.

• 42:59Speaker 00

  I play the trumpet and you'd just have the same conversation every day. And she would talk about aliens visiting her and weird things. It was just, it was just a strange how the mind works and.

• 43:09Speaker 02

  That's scary to hear a mum like that.

• 43:12Speaker 00

  Yeah, but I don't remember being, I remember, don't remember being that scared or upset.

• 43:20Speaker 02

  I know that's odd. At what point did the doctor say that she had two weeks to live though?

• 43:27Speaker 00

  It was early on because she'd passed that.

• 43:29Speaker 03

  I mean, but what happened for you when they said that, when they said there's two weeks to, what, what happened to you emotionally then?

• 43:35Speaker 00

  My feeling is I just didn't believe them. I don't like.

• 43:39Speaker 00

  I don't know, I just didn't, I don't think I ever believed them.

• 43:42Speaker 02

  That, that tracks, to be honest. Like from what I know of you, it's like, I, I feel like you do have a magical will, like a magical ability to will impossible things into possible possibilities.

• 43:55Speaker 00

  I just, I'm just optimistic about everything and not to a fault. It's not blind optimism where you're like, oh my God, I've just lost my entire house and whatever it might be. It's just that I feel like when there's a chance, let's, let's back that, let's keep that the mindset.

• 44:13Speaker 02

  Even, even when you were fifteen, sixteen.

• 44:15Speaker 00

  Yeah. And it was, it was interesting for my family hardest, you know, we all tackle things different ways. I do recall hardest, I reckon hardest for my sister. She's, so the split was thirteen year old, my sister Alex, I was fifteen, my brother eighteen. And I mean, if we were, if we were going with the, something to forgive yourself for, um,

• 44:41Speaker 00

  I, I don't think I had the right amount of empathy for my sister at the time. Uh, she was becoming a woman and going through all those things that happens and change for, for, for a woman or a girl turned into a woman at a time where her mum's in hospital, doesn't remember her and she's got three other boys in the house. I, I just, I think it just would have been a really different scenario for her.

• 45:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:08Speaker 00

  And then I went into, all right, we're drawing up the chores. What did mum do? I'll do this, you do that.

• 45:16Speaker 02

  You took on that role.

• 45:17Speaker 00

  And I was, and, and it wasn't, it probably, it would have been annoying. Okay, okay. I felt like during that period, they may have a different perspective, but I felt like my brother and my sister got closer, even though there was the bigger gap. And I think they were more willing to be emotional about it, talk to each other about it.

• 45:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:36Speaker 00

  And I just went completely workman like.

• 45:39Speaker 02

  Practical.

• 45:39Speaker 00

  Practical.

• 45:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:41Speaker 00

  Okay, so lunches are this, this like, you know, and, and away that went. Um, which isn't, which comes back to bite you. Like people might go, oh, that's great, that's stoic. It does, it's not entirely.

• 45:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:54Speaker 00

  I think it's helpful having those people around and in moments of, um, pain and suffering. But it, it can be buried. Um.

• 46:04Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 46:05Speaker 00

  And thankfully mum came out of it. So mum basically started remembering things, kind of lost the patch that she was in hospital for. Like didn't remember that. So it's kind of actually lost six months. She came back home, I remember the time I was most angry. She came back home and, uh, she didn't want to be there. Because we had, we'd become a self-sufficient household. Like the things that she would give us, like dropping a school or making lunches or do this. Like we were just doing it all and she came back and had a massive culture shock, which is so understandable.

• 46:45Speaker 02

  So she could remember what life was like before she went to hospital.

• 46:48Speaker 00

  That's my recollection and then, and, and she ended up going back. She ended up going back to a rehab centre and live in. And that's when I was angry, I was like, fuck you, we've done all this.

• 46:59Speaker 02

  Oh, but she went by choice.

• 47:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 47:01Speaker 02

  Right.

• 47:02Speaker 00

  And, and so I was like, you don't even want us, you don't even want to live with us.

• 47:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:06Speaker 00

  Um, so that, but again, so unfair.

• 47:09Speaker 02

  Like, no, but it's, it's a very honest, yeah, thing to share. I think that probably, I mean, I imagine be very common probably, I don't know.

• 47:18Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 47:19Speaker 02

  It seems like you're a kid who's just worked so hard to keep things together. And then here's your moment of it's all going to be normal again. And she goes back, I can totally understand that response.

• 47:31Speaker 00

  Yeah, but I mean, all those things set me up for adulthood. In talking to the doctors, they like, we don't know why it happened. We think stress and anxiety can be a contributor and my mum was a worry what. And I do, whether it's consciously or subconsciously, I remember going, all right, well, I just won't worry about anything. If this is what happens.

• 47:54Speaker 03

  Gosh.

• 47:55Speaker 00

  Um, I'm, I'm not gonna.

• 47:56Speaker 03

  I'm not doing that.

• 47:57Speaker 00

  I'm not doing that.

• 47:58Speaker 02

  Not doing, what do you mean?

• 47:59Speaker 03

  Worrying.

• 48:00Speaker 02

  Not worrying.

• 48:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 48:01Speaker 02

  Yeah. And do you catch yourself even now going like, don't let the worry in, so to speak, or it doesn't?

• 48:07Speaker 00

  Yeah, like I, I don't tend to worry, as Ria would know, I don't tend to worry about much. I worry about how people feel. Like I, I think that's the part that is important to me. But anything outside of that, it's like, oh, well, it'll, it, let's just control the things we can control. Um, and then the other, so that, that has set me up for, for adulthood. The, the bad thing to come from it, the, you know, I started judging people's problems because they weren't as big as mine. And that's a poor trait. Like so at fifteen and sixteen, mate would come to me and go, hey, I'm unsure if Helen likes me, you know?

• 48:53Speaker 00

  And I really like her. I'm like, fucking hell, mate. Yeah. It's, it's nothing compared to me. So that, that is not a, that is not a healthy thing to do, compare problems. And I think I went through that for a while.

• 49:05Speaker 02

  It could be quite distancing.

• 49:06Speaker 00

  Yeah, and it means, it means you don't help people, um, and you're not a good ear. And I reckon I was not at the best year for my sister for, in that regard. Those are the parts where I go, okay, that could have, I could have done that better. I could have been more empathetic because what's interesting about feelings, as you guys know so well, is the, someone can feel the same way about two wildly different things, but the feeling is the same. So this girl doesn't like me, that can cause just as much anxiety to someone as my mum's got two weeks to live. And I know that sounds wild, but that's just how our bodies work.

• 49:47Speaker 00

  So diminishing how someone's feeling based on my calculations of how, where the problem sits. Um, that's not, that wasn't a great trait, which I've had to work on. Yeah. And then same with like performing for you or for him or someone.

• 50:06Speaker 00

  You guys were coming, I'm unsure about this bit. And I would go, don't worry about it, it's going to be fine. It's the worst thing you can say to someone. Cause immediately you're not even hearing what their problem is and they feel even more isolated to you. And they had the bravery to come and chat to you about it. So that's the one thing I've been trying to take out of my repertoire.

• 50:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:23Speaker 00

  And it took him going, this, that's not helpful.

• 50:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:27Speaker 00

  And so now it's like, hey, I'm really worried about this thing. Even if I do think, don't worry, it'll be fine.

• 50:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:34Speaker 00

  The best question to ask in any of those things for anyone I'm working with or in my life is like, what element of it? What, what part of it is, is worrying you? And if they hit the element and you solve that, oh, would it be, would it feel different? If we changed that aspect, oh, that would, that would make it fine.

• 50:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:49Speaker 00

  Oh, great, now it is all fine.

• 50:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:51Speaker 00

  Just telling someone it'll be fine is the most isolating thing you can do, I reckon.

• 50:56Speaker 02

  Yeah. Um. When you, when you said before that it's the, I'm trying to think of what the best description, I guess the, the, um, the problem solver that you became, uh, when your mum was sick can come back to bite you. How did it bite you?

• 51:09Speaker 00

  I think you naturally distance yourself from others. Like, I think my brother and sister were like, all right, well, you're not in charge of us and you've just appointed yourself. That immediately, you've, you've decided to set yourself apart. You've decided how you think it should work without any consultation. That is an alienating to, for yourself and for others. Even if you believe, or even if it is the right approach, it's just not the manner in which you should approach any problem solving to, to truly have people on board what you want to try to achieve. And I don't want to overpaint, like, you know, we're all helping each other out for sure. Like, we're a very, very close family. I just think they became closer during those moments.

• 51:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 51:55Speaker 03

  I can't help just listening to this story. I, I obviously put myself in your shoes. Um, yeah, we were, we were living, uh, one or two tram stops away. We were going through our own crisis in our household, uh, with our sister who was really sick. And so I do, I, I really resonate with so much of what you're saying. But now listening to it as a dad, I'm actually thinking about your dad more than I've sort of expected to. And I'm just wondering, do you reflect on what your dad was going through? Have you spoke to him about what that was like for him?

• 52:23Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, a little. My dad is similar. He's like, all right, what do we need to do?

• 52:29Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 52:29Speaker 00

  Like, that's just, that's just been a hand down trait. Ryan knows my dad well. So I think, again, I think we, dad and I probably came closer in that regard because we decided to tackle a problem in a, in a similar manner. Um, and that's, that's definitely set me up for adulthood with regards to every relationship I've got. Is when things go poorly or there's a crisis, we revert to what we think is the best and we revert to what we think we can do best. Like, how can I help this myself in my way?

• 53:07Speaker 02

  I think you'd be a good only phone call if I go to jail. I think if I went to jail, I think you'd be a good person to call.

• 53:15Speaker 00

  So, yeah, you've got to, I think, taking into account not just what problem needs to be solved, but how do you think everyone feels they need to solve it is just, there is so much more important. And I've, I still have to work on that. I, I was, I was, my shortcoming with Radio Karate.

• 53:33Speaker 02

  Is our production company?

• 53:34Speaker 00

  Yeah, sorry, our production company was, I would be so clear and adamant about what we had to do. And we'd be going, why aren't we doing it? And guys, come on, come on. And then eventually we'd work out what we had to do.

• 53:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:48Speaker 00

  And, you know, you and Tim have just said to me, hey, give us time to mull it over. Like, get, get confidence in what we want to, we might want to achieve.

• 53:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:58Speaker 00

  Opposed to just, as soon as someone's blindly taking direction, there is no ownership. And then, yeah, it's hard.

• 54:03Speaker 02

  Yeah. I guess, I mean, that, that is the kind of the good thing, but also the challenging thing about collaboration is that everyone works at different pace. And everyone needs a different sort of like, I don't know, time to figure things out or get comfortable or something. But, yeah, if you're the person who can process things really quickly and can see things faster or clearer. I'm, I imagine it is quite frustrating when everyone else is sort of what it feels like slowing you down.

• 54:34Speaker 00

  Yep. And I, I keep bringing this back to business sense, which is not probably what we should be talking about with regards to. So if I use an example with Beck and I, Beck is an anxious person and she said that, I'm not oversharing.

• 54:45Speaker 02

  Beck's your partner, yeah.

• 54:46Speaker 00

  Beck, my partner.

• 54:47Speaker 02

  Fiance.

• 54:47Speaker 00

  Yeah. Um, and, and she will say to me, I, my brain doesn't work like you. Like, when we're, and we're in these moments, my brain doesn't work like you. Can you please just give me a moment?

• 55:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:02Speaker 00

  Which is so great that I've got a partner that says that out loud opposed to just drifting off. And I've got to hear it more and I've got to go, okay, yes, I think I know what we should do. You're still computing it all. I need to wait. And I'm not, I'm not saying I'm always right either. It's like, it's often the waiting has been really good for me. And it's like, okay, yep, let's take a stock and maybe we go down this path. Um, yeah, it's an interesting one.

• 55:32Speaker 03

  You know, we hear people talk about when they have like a near death experience, they have this newfound

• 55:38Speaker 03

  um, appreciation and gratitude for life. I'm guessing through, through your eyes though, like, I'm sure if someone said to you before your mum was sick, you're grateful for your mum, you'd go, yeah, of course I am. But do you, have you had that moment of like, but now I really am, like now?

• 55:53Speaker 00

  Totally. But also great, like, it actually probably more grateful for dad. Like dad becomes a full time, well, not full time carer, but he becomes the carer. And that's an amazing thing to have in a partner. And whether this comes back to bite me, mum, if he hears this, but mum, probably I reckon always thought she could have done better than dad.

• 56:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 56:17Speaker 00

  If the, if the roles were reversed.

• 56:19Speaker 02

  No, no.

• 56:19Speaker 00

  As in in life.

• 56:20Speaker 02

  As a life partner.

• 56:23Speaker 00

  And I think this has been a massive realisation for her to go, oh my gosh.

• 56:29Speaker 03

  This guy's pretty great.

• 56:30Speaker 00

  This guy is amazing. Yeah. This, this guy has, is willing to, because his life changed dramatically. His life goes from social, parties, tennis club to none of that. Because he can't take mum and then friends help, but they help in a, I'll drop off a lasagna way. Which is very different to, I'm coming around having a beer, are we going to the footy?

• 56:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 56:57Speaker 00

  Way. So friendships naturally change. So I always think about for him. Like, that is, that, that is a huge adjustment as well. Um, and I'll check whether I can tell this, I'll check with them, I can tell the story and you can take it out. But we're driving along one day and it had been like three or four years, I reckon, since, maybe even longer, like five years since mum had got sick and she was getting better. And, um, she was walking in with a frame and, and dad said, I want to talk to you about something. And I'm like, I went in the car again and I'm like, oh, he's found someone else.

• 57:36Speaker 00

  Like, I thought this would come, I get it, I get it. Like, it's, it's, this is not the life you signed up for. You've got us through half a decade, you know, I'm preparing myself to that. And he said, I think, I'm worried mum might be teary more, so I think I might stop work earlier, take some time off and, and get to spend more time with her, which means we won't be able to support you in certain ways that we, we might have. And I'm like, God, I'm fucking asshole.

• 58:05Speaker 00

  I'm like, that's.

• 58:07Speaker 03

  Complete opposite.

• 58:08Speaker 00

  Complete opposite of what I was thinking.

• 58:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:11Speaker 00

  Um.

• 58:13Speaker 00

  And you go, I'm like, hey, great. Like, that's, that is amazing. And, and he just, he just loves her so much. And, yeah, that's a true test of a partner. And so that, that is the one that I reflect on more and, and my gratitude towards, I love, love them both, but gratitude towards dad and the person he is. Um, when something like this happens, you go, wow, that's, that's, that's significant.

• 58:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:38Speaker 00

  And, and look, we, we, uh, the family's closer for it for sure.

• 58:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:42Speaker 00

  Like, we, we banded, my sister and my brother and I banded together to get through that bit, though through different mechanisms. And then you carry that. And so when mum's, you know, if mum has a, a big night with us, she'll rest the whole next day. You know, if we travel anywhere, she has a whole day's rest. But we always say to her, we are, we're doing this. I, I don't think we're really this close. We wouldn't go away as a family, as adults like this unless we'd gone through this together. So the silver lining is, um, you don't get to walk as well mum, but we're all having fun.

• 59:17Speaker 02

  I mean, it's, it's really, it's sort of like, bring it back to where we were before. It's, I'm sort of thinking like, cause when we met, you would have been like nineteen, twenty.

• 59:25Speaker 00

  Did you?

• 59:25Speaker 02

  Yeah. So only, what, three years?

• 59:28Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 59:28Speaker 02

  Into this like crazy life change.

• 59:32Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 59:32Speaker 02

  And we, and, and maybe you might have told, but it wouldn't have been a point of discussion. Like, I don't think I would have known what was actually going on.

• 59:40Speaker 00

  Well, I found a crazy meeting, Sue, my mum, because she was so much like my mum before she got sick.

• 59:47Speaker 02

  Really?

• 59:48Speaker 00

  Like, just in looks and vivacious and bubbly and just a laugh and active. And so when I met Sue, I was like, oh, I will never be able to compute this. But this is, uh, this is what I, this is what I thought life would be like, but it's, it's not. Yeah.

• 1:00:05Speaker 02

  That really makes me quite emotional actually to know that. Because it just makes me think like, oh, that, that can happen to anyone.

• 1:00:12Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:00:12Speaker 02

  To, to imagine that, like, to think of my mum, I know my mum really well. Um, and so it gives me a lot more like understanding of what you mean. Cause when I met Mick and Marg, your parents, it's, I obviously only knew Marg.

• 1:00:27Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:00:28Speaker 02

  From when I met her. So I didn't know the comparison. And, and I didn't really think much of it, but I just thought like, oh, okay, well, Andy's mum is sick or there's something going on, like she couldn't walk as well.

• 1:00:40Speaker 00

  Yeah, disability, yeah.

• 1:00:41Speaker 02

  Disability, but I, it was never really spoken about in detail that I remember.

• 1:00:47Speaker 03

  How often do you speak to your mum and dad? Do you?

• 1:00:49Speaker 00

  Probably every day.

• 1:00:50Speaker 02

  Do you really? That's impressive.

• 1:00:52Speaker 00

  Yeah, probably.

• 1:00:53Speaker 02

  Doesn't surprise me.

• 1:00:54Speaker 03

  So you'll call them and then they'll just go and speak if I'm, is that the general?

• 1:00:57Speaker 00

  My parents watch me play over forties masters hockey every Monday night.

• 1:01:03Speaker 02

  Do you still play hockey?

• 1:01:07Speaker 00

  So my parents still come and watch.

• 1:01:10Speaker 02

  That is awesome.

• 1:01:11Speaker 00

  Which is so funny. They're the only people there.

• 1:01:15Speaker 00

  Beeping their horns. Um, yeah, so.

• 1:01:19Speaker 01

  That's amazing.

• 1:01:19Speaker 00

  Every day, every second day. Yeah. And then, um, we have a joint text message group called the Lee Family Gazette, which is just, which is just all the whole family, my brother, sister and my, and my parents. And we just.

• 1:01:33Speaker 02

  You're the editor?

• 1:01:36Speaker 00

  And then, and we just chat all day about different things. Yeah. Yeah.

• 1:01:41Speaker 03

  It's a lovely reminder of like the, the, what can come from hardship, that connection. It really is.

• 1:01:48Speaker 01

  Do you think, sorry, this is a bit of a heavy question, but, um, I, I find myself

• 1:01:56Speaker 01

  struggling with the idea of losing my parents one day, cause I'm very close to them as well. Do you think what you've gone through with your mum?

• 1:02:03Speaker 00

  Makes it more acceptable?

• 1:02:04Speaker 01

  Yeah. Or has prepared you in a way?

• 1:02:06Speaker 00

  Yeah. Yeah, I reckon. I, I, I don't fear death much at all.

• 1:02:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:13Speaker 00

  Um, and I don't know whether it was because of this moment back with mum or whether I just always felt that. I actually feel like if we as a society managed to change our perspective on death, we'd, I think a lot of our natural anxieties would, would leave.

• 1:02:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, I agree.

• 1:02:31Speaker 02

  He's even optimistic about death.

• 1:02:34Speaker 00

  Well, I mean, this is, this is a strange, this is a very commercial view of it. But I spoke to mum and dad and I went, um, how are you going? And they said, oh, look, our financial advisor said, if we live to 90, we can spend this much a year. If we live to 85, we can spend this much a year. If we live to 80, we can spend this much a year. And like, I'm like, oh, well, don't just go, go do whatever you want now. He's like, oh no, we've got to. And I was like, oh wow, you, you can't even, with death, because it comes randomly, you can't even plan. And planning is what lowers people's anxiety. People like having a plan. So, you know, it's, it's strange that we, we set up ourselves to

• 1:03:14Speaker 00

  go, how do I even work towards this moment where I leave everything? I say to anyone listening now, just get a will sorted. We don't want to think about death, but think about who do you want your kids to actually go to? Like, what do you want your assets to go to? Like, these things, because if you leave without it, it is a mess for everyone you're leaving behind. So I think we need to talk about death more. Um, but we're obviously scared to. I'm, I'm not, but because if we don't, you leave real problems for, for everyone else. A lot of people, I had a friend who, he's an older mentor

• 1:03:52Speaker 00

  friend of mine. Um, he passed away and his wife didn't know any access to any bank, any key card.

• 1:04:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:02Speaker 00

  Like the house, like how the codes were like, and she was like, oh my gosh, I feel like I don't even live here anymore. Because that, that wasn't a shared resource. So these, there's funny little things you can leave behind without realising. And yeah, it's, it's good to jot down, hey, if I was, I had the conversation with Beck about the house I'm building now. Like if I die, I'd like you to finish the house. You don't have to live in it, but I'd like you to finish it. Would you, would,

• 1:04:29Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:04:30Speaker 00

  Would, would you, would you want to finish it? And she's like, oh, okay. Yeah. I haven't thought about it. I was like, well, we, I need to think about these things because.

• 1:04:38Speaker 02

  And I'd like you to keep the golf sim.

• 1:04:40Speaker 03

  And also the baggy grain room is off watching cricket. That's, please watch cricket in there.

• 1:04:45Speaker 00

  And she's like, oh, I'm not sure how I'd feel about living in it. And I was like, well, would you want me to live in it? I said, I'd love you to live in it. Like, but we built this together. I was like, that's fine. What, what about if I got a new partner? Fine. Like, these are things that we don't talk about at all.

• 1:04:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's, that's quite specific detail as well.

• 1:05:01Speaker 00

  Yeah. And another friend of mine who, who died of leukemia, um, and he did tell his partner, I want you to find someone else. And that was really freeing for her. And I've heard of people in the, in the opposite situation where they don't get the blessing and they're sitting there worried for the next five years. Am I doing the wrong thing? I think there's a lot, you can free people up with just by communication before we pass away.

• 1:05:28Speaker 01

  It feels like a, to me, when I think about those discussions, it feels like such an intimate discussion to have, but that, there's so much beauty, it can really bring you so much closer as well in having those honest intimate discussions. So it feels like you also get to enjoy the benefits of a greater level of intimacy with your people you love in your life while you're alive.

• 1:05:48Speaker 00

  Absolutely. And like, and with, with creative pursuits, like you said, it's, it's a, it's a split between if one of you passed away, have you guys decided who gets that share? And, and it could be, if, say if Ryan was to pass away, touch wood, obviously, that probably is left to his family at this stage, if he hasn't thought about it. If, if Ryan didn't get along with his family and they come in and now you're, they own a quarter or a third or whatever this is, suddenly you're bringing someone in to the table that didn't have Ryan's best interests at heart.

• 1:06:19Speaker 02

  I think my dad could contribute to the podcast pretty well. He does a great voiceover.

• 1:06:24Speaker 00

  He does. He can do voiceovers. No, but people forget the other things that, that they're working on.

• 1:06:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:06:30Speaker 00

  That, that suddenly it controlled by completely different people. And you might think, oh, they're family, so they'll understand. You don't know, you guys probably know, and a variety example of his relationship with families, but you don't often know their relationships. And you may end up with someone who wants to take in a completely different direction. And it affects everything you were trying to achieve as well.

• 1:06:51Speaker 03

  That's actually, Josh and I, well, our family attempted to have like a conversation with mum and dad where we just, tell us everything you want. Um, and we had a script there and, and we all, my sister came from LA for it and we went out for lunch. I was late, Josh had to leave early and mum goes, I don't want to do this. And that was it.

• 1:07:09Speaker 03

  Well, we had a lovely story.

• 1:07:11Speaker 02

  It wasn't a Lee Bones production, that's why.

• 1:07:15Speaker 03

  We had it, Andy, there.

• 1:07:16Speaker 00

  My dad said he'd like to be scattered at my beach house. And I said, you're not devaluing the land, mate. We cannot have this.

• 1:07:28Speaker 03

  Well, I really, really, like Ryan said, this feels so long overdue. Like your name kept coming up and like, I think his life is pretty perfect. So I don't know how it's going to work. But it's so generous of you to say that story. So I just feel like a lot of people, it might not be their mum, but have, have felt the feeling of someone in their, in their life that they love dearly, being sick and the worry that comes with it. And it's so fascinating to hear the impact it's had on you and your life. Um, and, you know, to, just to finish, to say congratulations on the amount of joy and happiness. I know it's not probably the, for you, it's like, we're going to make people laugh and have fun doing it. But the amount of joy and happiness you have spread across this, you know, the country, the world over such a long period of time is so inspiring and so incredible. So.

• 1:08:10Speaker 00

  Thank you very much. Loved being on.

• 1:08:12Speaker 02

  I think you've spent the last hour wallowing a bit much, but other than that, it's been really good.

• 1:08:18Speaker 03

  Thanks, Andy.

• 1:08:19Speaker 00

  Awesome guys.

• 1:08:20Speaker 02

  Thanks, mate.

• 1:08:21Speaker 01

  Keep listening to find out what else is going on at The Imperfects. Recently, we recorded our first ever live episode for our subscriber community.

• 1:08:29Speaker 04

  14% of the gossip that we engage in is negative. Salacious, malicious, harmful. The remainder is either neutral or positive.

• 1:08:39Speaker 03

  I am sitting on a piece of gossip that I'm not allowed to tell you. Go on, Josh. You're not allowed to tell me. I'm not allowed to tell you. And it's someone we know. And I was told yesterday. Tell me now.

• 1:08:50Speaker 01

  And you can hear that whole episode on gossip, as well as all the other episodes we've done on A Little More Imperfects at patreon.com/dimperfects. If you want a little more but don't want to pay anymore, then you can join our newsletter at theimperfects.com.au. And while you're there, you'll be able to see the names and faces of all the incredible people who help make this show. A show made on the lands of the Wurundjeri, Wurundjeri people, and we pay our respects to elders past and present. The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you're struggling, please see a healthcare professional or call Lifeline on 13 11 14.