The One Question to Ask About Any Relationship | Ep 991

Join Alex at the Live Scaling Workshop in Las Vegas: https://www.acquisition.com/o-vegas Many people settle for someone who just showed up—they call it a relationship, and then wonder why they’re struggling. In this episode, Alex and Leila break down the only question that matters when choosing a partner. From the traits that rub off over time to why needing a partner is the fastest way to picking the wrong one, this is the conversation most couples never have. In this episode 00:00 Sharing life goals from day one 02:21 The most important relationship question 04:52 Be okay alone before choosing a life partner 06:14 The ultimate relationship litmus test More Value: Download your free personalized $100M scaling roadmap in under 30 seconds: https://www.acquisition.com/roadmap?el=yt-alex-486r&htrafficsource=youtube Get the $100M Book Bundle: https://shop.acquisition.com/pages/100m-book-bundle Watch My Latest Episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@AlexHormozi/featured Learn How to Scale Your Business to Millions in Revenue: https://www.acquisition.com/ Discover The Easiest Business I Can Help You Start (Free Trial): https://www.skool.com/hormozi Additional Free Books and Video Courses: https://www.acquisition.com/training DISCLOSURE: Information shared here is for educational purposes only. Individuals and business owners should evaluate their own business strategies and identify any potential risks. The information shared here is not a guarantee of success. Your results may vary. Copyright © 2026.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Alex Hormozi?

  First date, I was like, "This is what I want to do." "Would you like to come with me?"

• 0:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, but I think that that's not...

• 0:05Alex Hormozi?

  Literally.

• 0:07Speaker 01

  It's because most people don't know their goals. You know what I mean?

• 0:12Speaker 01

  And I think even now, we're able to articulate our goals so much better than we were in the beginning. We just knew, we were like, "Trying to fucking go places." You know what I mean? And like, "I'll do whatever it takes." Hunger.

• 0:22Alex Hormozi?

  But it's been like, and if the goal shifted, it was more like, it got clearer more than it changed.

• 0:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:28Alex Hormozi?

  It was blurry, but it was like, in the beginning, it was directional. It was like, "I want to go this way, and we'll figure it out as we go." But if one day, you were like, "I don't want to build these things. I don't want to build hospitals and build cities and do this, you know, all this. Like, see what two people can do in one lifetime." It would be very hard for me, because it would be asking me to not be me.

• 0:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:50Alex Hormozi?

  And I don't know if I would be able to do that.

• 0:52Speaker 01

  I wouldn't expect you to.

• 0:53Alex Hormozi?

  No, and I think that, and I'm saying, I think fundamentally, because we've both shared that goal the whole time, I've never felt like I've, I mean, we get probably, I'm sure, lots of flack from the internet for this, but like, I've never felt like I've had to make sacrifices for you.

• 1:09Alex Hormozi?

  Like, I haven't had to compromise my goals, which is another way of saying, I haven't had to compromise myself in order to be in our relationship.

• 1:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think I was really nervous in the beginning. And then, over time, you only continually reinforced to me that I could be myself. Because it was so many years of conditioning to hide what I really wanted. And I think that's actually like, what you've taught me a lot, is just like, complete self-acceptance. A lot of it has been like, me just sharing things with you of like, how I really feel, or like, some may say like, the dark side, or like, dark desires, and the things that I want that feel in contrast with what maybe society projects on what I should want. And you've always just been like, incredibly accepting, every time. Even like, when I was like, "Dude, I don't want to make dinner every night. I don't want to do all this stuff." And like, I was really worried. I was like, "Oh my gosh, like, this is..." But I was like, "It's not aligned with my goals."

• 2:00Speaker 01

  Like, me cooking dinner every night to be a good wife, I value myself here, leading people, making people's lives better, that lights me up. Making lasagna does not. And you were like, "I don't even give a fuck."

• 2:13Alex Hormozi?

  Yeah, I said, "If you want to make dinner, I will be happy that you made dinner. If you want to make money, I will be happy that you made money."

• 2:21Speaker 01

  I mean, I think the question that people need to ask themselves is, "Does this person make it easier or harder to achieve my goals?" And it doesn't mean that they're actively trying to sabotage you.

• 2:31Alex Hormozi?

  It doesn't mean they're a bad person.

• 2:32Speaker 01

  No, it doesn't mean any of that. It's just like, it's that simple of a question. Also, I think the proxy to that is like, do I respect myself more or less being in a relationship with this person? That's something that I prompted to, you know, a friend of mine months ago, when they were trying to navigate a really tough relationship. And I was like, "Do you, I watch you lose respect for yourself every day that you're in a relationship." Because this person is actually, you're trying to go towards your goals, and they're actively dragging you away. It was somewhat active sabotage.

• 3:06Speaker 01

  And then it's like, not only are you not going towards your goals, but you're actually degrading your sense of self.

• 3:13Alex Hormozi?

  I think it's also the, like, what traits about this person do I admire, number one? Because whatever they have is going to rub off on me. And then, if I see myself with a blend of my traits and theirs, does that new person, is that new person more or less likely to achieve my current goals? And so, like, I know that I need to be more patient. And so, you having patience is like, yeah, if I had some of that rub off on me, that'd be a good thing. Hey, if I was a little more empathetic, that would probably rub off, that'd probably be a good thing. That'd probably increase the likelihood that I hit my goals.

• 3:48Alex Hormozi?

  And I think a lot of people have really mid-significant others, just really like, blah, like, just a human, great, congrats. They're like, "This person did not leave when I was there." It's like, "Well, that's cool."

• 4:04Speaker 01

  It's actually interesting, like, because we even met somebody who said like, "I met this girl on a date, and she just never left."

• 4:11Alex Hormozi?

  Yeah.

• 4:12Speaker 01

  And that was why they were with them.

• 4:13Alex Hormozi?

  And they got married.

• 4:14Speaker 01

  They're like, "Yeah, she like, brought her bags, and then we just like..."

• 4:16Alex Hormozi?

  First date.

• 4:16Speaker 01

  "Kept dating." I was like, "Did you ever pause to think that this is the right person for you?"

• 4:21Alex Hormozi?

  Yeah, she just hung around. Again, it's like, does this, like, I love the Sword of Gryffindor from Harry Potter, I'll say it again. But it had an enchantment on it, which was, it only drinks in that which makes it stronger. And I think, it's like, you're going to, you are that metal, you are that sword, and you're going to be putting yourself into a bath with this other person. But you may not only take in that which makes you stronger, you may just take in everything. And that may end up making you weaker. And when I say weaker, I mean, less likely to achieve the things that you want, or become the person that you want to become. And I think it's just, I think it's very hard for people, because everyone is just so afraid of being alone. And I think maybe the first step is being okay with being alone.

• 5:01Alex Hormozi?

  Being like, "I would rather be with just me than be with someone who makes me less like me in order to be with them."

• 5:10Speaker 01

  I mean, I remember, well, before we met, I'd been alone for like, almost two years. I got out of a bad relationship, and I was like, "What am I doing? I don't want to recreate that again, you know?"

• 5:22Speaker 01

  And I think being alone was, it's just never, and even so, like, even now, if I'm like, I like, we both actually really like alone time.

• 5:31Alex Hormozi?

  Yeah.

• 5:32Speaker 01

  Which I think is really important in terms of, like, there's, we don't have like, high requirements. You know what I mean? Everything's such a bonus, which I think is actually what I really like, is things that, when I was young, were told, like, "You need, you have needs, you have emotional needs, you have these." The thing was all a fucking lie. And I think it's actually really unhealthy if you have to put, quote, "needs" upon a partner. And I think I've become such a better person and a better spouse for looking at things as like, bonuses. Like, if we get to spend an afternoon together, on Sunday afternoon, bonus. But if you tell me that you have to work, or I tell you that I have to work, fine. I'm not going to be upset about it. I'm going to go do stuff for myself.

• 6:14Alex Hormozi?

  Yeah.

• 6:14Speaker 01

  Right?

• 6:15Alex Hormozi?

  A lot of people don't know how to be busy. Basically, a lot of people have nothing going on in their lives.

• 6:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's fair.

• 6:21Alex Hormozi?

  And so, they require their spouse or significant other for attention, affection, and approval.

• 6:26Speaker 01

  Dance monkey.

• 6:26Alex Hormozi?

  They need them, yeah, they're like, "Hey, I'm bored, entertain me." And some people literally say that, which I find ridiculous. But I think a really good litmus test is, what does this person entering my life change about my behavior? And so, thinking, "Okay, when I'm on my own, I work out like this, I eat like this, I work like this, I go to sleep at this time. These are the social things that I find meaningful or interesting." Now, when this person enters my life, how many of those things that, when I had nothing interfering with me, change in their expression? Do I work less? Do I work out less? Do I eat differently? Do I spend my time differently? Well, if that occurs, then all of those changes will certainly change the outputs of your life. And are those changes, the outputs, changes to the outputs, what you want?

• 7:11Alex Hormozi?

  And I think most people, if they really looked at themselves in the mirror, would be like, "No."

• 7:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.