How To Go From Average To Extraordinary

The difference between WINNING and LOSING is so SMALL it’s SCARY! This episode puts YOU in the spotlight as I answer your questions! Today’s episode is just me and YOU 1:1. This week’s question is…”How do I not let my dream fizzle out?” Here’s the truth… Your dreams are MUCH CLOSER than you think they are! Listen to me!!! The difference between winning and losing is so small it’s almost too scary to talk about! It’s ONE ACTION. What if you could live life and be in anticipation of that ONE thing changing everything? You’d be hustling a lot harder wouldn't you? You’d have a bit more FIRE in your step wouldn’t you? Most People have vision issues, BIG TIME... And not the type of issue where they lack vision. That’s an overplayed topic. This issue is DEPTH PERCEPTION. Most People think attainment of that dream is much further away than it really is. And it causes them to behave in such a way that keeps that vision at a distance all of their life. You are MUCH CLOSER than you think you are. Believe it or not, you are only ONE decision away from completely CHANGING your LIFE! You are ONE MEETING, ONE CLIENT, ONE CALL, ONE STEP, ONE MENTOR, ONE THOUGHT, ONE BREAKTHROUGH away from changing everything! Your goals are CLOSE AT HAND! Get FIRED UP! Get your ADRENALINE flowing and CHARGE forward! Close your eyes… SEE and FEEL the results just on the other side of that nearby finish line. Expect it. Anticipate it. Know it! This episode will teach you how to cross the finish line! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Ed Mylett?

  I hear so many small business owners say the exact same thing. They just never have enough time in the day. Well, I measure time differently. I've compressed, condensed, heck, I've bent time. My first day is 6:00 a.m. to noon. My second day starts at noon and goes till 6:00 P.M. And my third day, 6:00 P.M. to midnight. I now get 21 days a week. Stack that up over a month, over a year, over five years, and my life's completely different than it would have been otherwise. And if you want to win as an entrepreneur, you have to compress your time, too. And you definitely can't afford to waste it. Waiting weeks on a big bank for capital? Your best bet's to work with my friends at Cardiff. They know how to compress time for entrepreneurs. They get your business approved in minutes and funded the very same day. They're America's favorite small business lender, and for good reason.

• 0:45Ed Mylett?

  Over 20 years in business, over $12 billion deployed to small business across America. Stop letting bank delays slow down your momentum. Head to cardiff.co/ed. That's cardiff.co/ed. Cardiff.co. Real growth, fast funding. Cardiff. Borrow better.

• 1:01Speaker 01

  Mr. President, my company, for me, of the explosion on our rig.

• 1:05Speaker 02

  On October 2nd.

• 1:06Speaker 01

  Causing massive water displacement and triggering a tsunami. They all heap the blame on me.

• 1:11Speaker 02

  Tom Cruise is. Digger got us into this mess. And Digger's gonna dig us up. From the director of Birdman and the Revenant.

• 1:18Speaker 01

  What would happen if I stopped drilling? You stop, you freeze to death, that's what.

• 1:22Speaker 02

  With great power comes great deniability.

• 1:25Speaker 01

  I'm not the first nanny.

• 1:27Speaker 02

  Digger. See the trailer online. Only in theaters October 2nd. Rated R. Under 17. Not a minute without parent.

• 1:36Speaker 02

  This is The Ed Mylett Show.

• 1:41Ed Mylett?

  All right, welcome back to the show, everybody. I love our solo episodes that I get a chance to do because I have an opportunity to answer your questions on the show, and they've become our most popular episodes. And so if you do have a question you want answered on the show at some point, all you have to do is DM us at Instagram, on my Instagram, @EdMilet. Submit the question that you have for the show, and hopefully at some point I can get to it here. Today's question involves winning. And I've been asked, Ed, can you please give us one of the invisible keys to winning that separates the winners from the losers in any Endeavor. And so I'm gonna do that today. You know, there's a million keys to winning, but one of the things I want to take the mystery out of it for you. First thing is, I'm always a little bit concerned. It's trepidatious for me to talk about winning and losing because I know

• 2:24Ed Mylett?

  how small the difference between winning and losing is. It's almost too scary to talk about. It's really true. I've watched people get very close to winning and it's that one little thing they miss, that invisible thing that separates the winners from the losers. It truly is a game of inches and millimeters when it comes to winning in business, winning in sports, winning in life, winning in our body, winning in our emotions. It's the small things I found. And I think most people want to believe that there's all of these secrets to winning. Because as long as it's secretive and they don't do it, then they've got an excuse as to why they haven't won. But what if the truth is, there really aren't any secrets? There just really aren't. That we all sort of really know what we need to do to win.

• 3:06Ed Mylett?

  But what it comes down to, that little thing, that separator that's too scary to talk about, is our willingness to do those things and the consistency with which we do them. Here's what I found. The people that are average and ordinary in most endeavors in life, do the things they need to do occasionally. And the people that win and dominate do them every day. They just do it more consistently. They do the things that the average do once in a while, they do all the time. And that's the separator. It's not, you can't do something when you feel like it. You can't do things on the days that you feel great. The separator isn't who's more motivated. Right? Motivation's important, inspiration's important, but the truth is,

• 3:47Ed Mylett?

  it's what do you do on the days that you are not motivated, that you are not inspired? Do you have the habits and rituals and disciplines, the guts, the grit, frankly, to step up and do the things that you know you need to do all the time, not some of the time? And when you stack up those all the times, those are the inches that you fight for that separate the greats from the average. The ones that become the best ever, the goats in their industry, the best moms, the best dads, the multimillionaire entrepreneur compared to the ones that just do okay. It's interesting, you know, there's a rhythm and a pace to success that I think most people aren't familiar with.

• 4:30Ed Mylett?

  I can promise you right now that if you spend a day with some of the top entrepreneurs in the world, there's a rhythm and a pace that you probably aren't used to. It's faster, it's quicker, they talk faster, they walk faster, they think faster, they make decisions faster. And it's just a hair, like if you watch an average, ordinary entrepreneur, they look like they're working hard, they look like they do things most days, but it's a little slower. The cadence, the rhythm, isn't quite what it is for those that dominate. I could tell you, there's a rhythm to success, and once you understand that rhythm, which I'm trying to explain to you, it's 15% faster, it's 20% faster, it's not 100 times, they don't do a million things better. They do a few things better, and they do those things consistently, and they do them faster and more repetitiously.

• 5:16Ed Mylett?

  You know, really, the best ability in life is availability. The best ability is availability, it's showing up and doing things consistently on a regular basis that most people just can't have the discipline to do. They get what I call leadership fatigue, or they get routine fatigue, they just get tired of saying the same things over and over again, of doing the same things over and over again. And that's what discipline is, discipline is the ability to do things when you don't feel like it, and when you're tired of doing it, when you're fatigued, when you're bored with doing it. Most winning is not beautiful. It's a grind, and remember this, when you're making history, it very rarely feels like it.

• 5:58Ed Mylett?

  It rarely feels like it, what it feels like is work, what it feels like is lonely, what it feels like is you're the only one doing it. And that's because you probably are. But what you need to know is that when you're laying those bricks every day, and the person that you're competing against is laying them every third day, eventually, even if they're better at laying the bricks, even if they have some magic brick, which there's no such thing, eventually, it's the person who can do it over and over and over again that separates themselves. And the truth is, why don't people do things consistently? Because it's not sexy, it's not exciting, right? You think about the best, if you had a great mom, right? What does she do?

• 6:41Ed Mylett?

  She just shows up quietly every day and does the things that... Make a difference that aren't beautiful, but they they matter. If you have one like a mom like I had, it was she was there every morning. She made my lunch every day on the days when she was sick and the days when she didn't feel like it. She picked me up every day from school. I never needed to wonder whether mom was going to show up to pick me up from school. You all know what I mean, right? Can you imagine if you were raised not knowing whether or not your parent was going to get you from school? Not knowing whether you're going to have lunch every day? And I know a lot of you had to grow up that way. But the truth is like my mom just did the quiet things that great people do. Every single day she did her homework with me every single day.

• 7:25Ed Mylett?

  And I did well in school because of that. Whereas some parents did it only when grades were bad, only when they had to, only when there was a problem, only when they felt like it, only when their schedule permitted it. So my mom was a great mom and some moms are average moms. Right? That's what separates you is doing those small things every single day. You know, it's like getting up earlier in my first book. I talk about, you know, successful people get up earlier. They just simply get up earlier. But how do you get up early? You say, Ed, I get up at seven o'clock. I'd really like to get up at 5:30. Well, you don't all of a sudden start getting up at 5:30. If you got up an hour and a half earlier, this is what most people try. They try to change everything all at once. Right? Let me tell you what's going to happen by about noon, you're going to be tired. And you're not going to be your best.

• 8:10Ed Mylett?

  The way you get up earlier every day is the way you change everything in life incrementally. So right now, if you get up at seven and you want to eventually get up at 5:30, do you know what you do? You get up 15 minutes earlier. You won't miss those 15 minutes of sleep. Now you're up at 6:45. And you do that for a month, for a month, you get up 15 minutes earlier. You won't even feel the change. It doesn't even seem like a big deal. It's a drop in the bucket, right? It's 15 more minutes. But then the next month you get up 15 minutes earlier. Now you're up at 6:30. You're up at 6:30 and you do that for a month. You won't miss those 15 minutes from 6:45. It doesn't even feel like you've changed anything. But consistently now you're up 15 minutes earlier. And then the next month, you get up at 6:15.

• 8:55Ed Mylett?

  And all of a sudden you went from 7 to 6:45 to 6:30. Now it's 6:15. And before you know it, a month after that, it's 6:00 AM. You can reverse engineer it all the way back several months later. You're waking up at 5:30, but you do it incrementally. And it doesn't seem like a big change, but it's huge because it's consistent. Same thing in business. If you want to start doing it, it's not making 100 times more contacts every day. It's increasing your productivity by 15 to 20% and doing it every single day. It's not massive changes. Most of you, if you're an engine, don't need a major engine overhaul. You need a small, fine tuning type adjustment. The old days are carburetor type adjustment.

• 9:38Ed Mylett?

  That's the difference. It's these small things. It's doing it consistently. And it's this belief system, listen to me, that you're going to become relentless and obsessed with what you're doing. You know what the great ones do? They do the needle moving things. The things that move the needle. They don't just do the routine every day. They do something in their life as a parent, as an entrepreneur, as a leader, that moves the needle, stuff that can make quantum leaps, the hard stuff, the difficult stuff. I teach in my scheduling that I don't do first things first every day. I do feared things first. Feared things first. Get the thing you're most afraid of out of the way. You know how you do something consistently?

• 10:21Ed Mylett?

  You build the habit of doing the feared things first in your day. If early in your day, if you've got a call you don't want to make, do that call first. If you've got a meeting you don't want, schedule it first. I try to schedule all my difficult meetings on Mondays. Early in the day too, because I want to create momentum. If I can do that one I don't want to do, if I can make that call I don't want to make. The rest of my day is like downhill. It's like momentum going down the hill. As opposed to if you've got that hard meeting or that one call or that contact you need to And you just haven't made it all day and you make the other ones. You know, you're climbing uphill all day till you gotta do that one. But if you just knock the feared things first off, then it's like cruising downhill all day. It's much easier when you create momentum.

• 11:05Ed Mylett?

  These are the things, it's the pace, it's the rhythm, it's the consistency, it's the availability. It's the game of inches that separate people. It's doing the things every day that the average do some days. It's doing it on the days you don't feel like it compared to those who just do it when they're pumped up and excited. And they've heard the right podcast or they got the right Instagram message today. These are the separators. And what it comes down to, truthfully, is this belief system. And here's what I've always said, and I mean this, I think you've got to evaluate this, truly. If you believe you're far away from something, you will pace yourself that way. I've always heard people say, well, business is a marathon.

• 11:49Ed Mylett?

  Life's a marathon. Life is really long. Life can be short if it's miserable. I can tell you that. Life can be short if it's not going very well.

• 12:01Ed Mylett?

  And although it's a marathon, the great ones sprint the whole race. That's not that they don't rest. I don't know, you know what I mean? What I'm saying is there's a pace. If you think something's far away, you act like it. See, most people don't lack vision. They have a vision. If you asked them, hey, do you want to be rich or poor? The average person would probably say rich. Do you want to make a big difference in the world or make none? I'd like to make a difference. You want to contribute or not contribute? I want to contribute. Do you want to laugh or cry more? I want to laugh more. I want to be happy or sad? I want to be happy. You want to go see things and create memories in your life or basically do the same thing over and over again? Most people say, I want memories in my life. So it's not that you don't have a vision. It's that you have a depth perception problem. You have a pacing problem.

• 12:47Ed Mylett?

  See, you think your dreams, those feelings, those memories, that change, that body, that relationship, that amount of money is really far away. And because you believe it's that far away, you've created patterns, belief systems, thought processes in your life that perpetually keep it that far away. You are jogging in the marathon of life where the winners are running 15 to 20% faster than you. They're up 15 minutes before you. They're making 15 to 20% more contacts. They're doing every day what you do some days because they believe that their one decision,

• 13:26Ed Mylett?

  one meeting, one new contact, one new relationship, one new thought, maybe one podcast away from completely changing their life. I'm not suggesting to you that it's going to be easy and that it's going to happen like that. What I am suggesting to you is that if you think it's really far away and you pace yourself and you do things occasionally, it'll always stay that far away. It'll always be there. It'll always be a mystery. And here's the truth, you and I both know it. There's no mystery to what makes a great mom or a great dad. You know exactly what it is. There's no mystery of what makes a great athlete. You know exactly what that looks like. There's no mystery would make a great entrepreneur.

• 14:09Ed Mylett?

  There's no mystery that would make you happier. There's no mystery. The mystery is you. The mystery is, are you willing to do the things every day to be relentless, to be obsessed, to get out of balance? This notion of balance is a fallacy. If you're going to do anything great in your life, some things are going to be popping at a given time when others aren't. But what if this entire notion that your life is a finite kind of pie? That if you take a big slice out of the business pie, your family's going to suffer? If you really focus on your family, then you're going to suffer in your fitness? What if the truth is that you're an expanding being that vibrates at a very high frequency?

• 14:53Ed Mylett?

  And that when you magnify one area of your life, if you do it correctly, it'll magnify and expand the others not take from it. See, all these questions about what it takes to win, or am I gonna be out of balance are from a completely flawed belief system. Two beliefs, one is that it's further away than it really is. And two is that if I'm killing it in one area of my life, another area has to suffer. What if that's one of the great lies of life? What if one of the great lies of life is that your dreams are for other people? That it's for people not like you, that they're doing extraordinary things that you're incapable of doing. As opposed to the truth is, they're just doing things every day that you only do occasionally. They have availability all the time.

• 15:35Ed Mylett?

  What if the truth is that the great lie is that it's far away? And the truth is that it's one decision, one new thought, one meeting, one connection away. What if that's the great lie of life? What if the great lie of life is that this is for other people and not you? Because I can tell you that that's a lie. The truth is, is that it's very close. And the truth is, is that it's these small decisions that alter our lives. I could tell you straight up, you're a lot closer than you think you are. And what if the third great lie is that, oh, if I'm really expanding one area of my life, another area has to suffer, that I'll become out of balance? I don't even know what balance means, but what I've found in my life, and here's the truth, that's a lie.

• 16:18Ed Mylett?

  It's a flawed belief system that's been mind-virused throughout our culture and our society for years where we have these concepts of balance. Let me tell you what I've found. That when I am killing it in the gym, and I'm a business athlete, and I'm strong, and I'm spending time in there training my body, that I'm a better businessman. That's what I've found. That my gym life, my fitness life expands my business life. You know what I've also found? That when I'm killing it at work and I'm giving it everything I've got. Then when I come home, I'm a better dad. I'm a better friend. I've got more insights, more energy to give to other people. When I'm suffering at work, I usually suffer at home. When I'm suffering in the gym, I'm suffering at work.

• 17:01Ed Mylett?

  So when one area expands, it magnifies the other areas of life. The reason that we believe it takes from one another and then we feed that belief system is we've been programmed into our minds to believe it. I'm not saying that you not need to be careful, that you don't need to be careful about your allocation of time and making sure everybody gets something. But I can tell you straight up, the fitter I've gotten and the harder I've worked out in the gym and the more time I've put in there, the better businessman that I've been. The better businessman I've been when I'm making a difference in my work and I'm growing and expanding, the more I bring to my family and friends, the more value I have, the more insights I have, the more love I have, the bigger and better version of me I have to share with my family. You remember this, if you're doing a great job as a mother or a father, you're going

• 17:46Ed Mylett?

  to bring that love and that comfort and that security and that faith into your work life and it's going to expand your work life, not take from it. And when you're crushing it at work, you're going to be a better mom and a better dad and a better friend because you're a better you and you're more proud of you and you respect you more. And because when you come from that place, you've got more to give other people. And when you're nailing it in your fitness and you're crushing it and you're fitter and stronger, those aren't hours you're taking from other places. Those are investments you're making in your strength and your vitality and your mental wellbeing so that you are better at work and that you are better in your family. One of those areas expands the others as long as you believe it does.

• 18:31Ed Mylett?

  Those are the three lies of life. And today I cleared it up for you. I told you the truth. And so although there are no secrets to winning, there are lies, there are flawed belief systems that take from winning. And what I have found is that if you do the things that I've described today, you put yourself in a position to win where the probability of you winning is increased. There's no guarantees in life, there's no promises. What we're trying to do is increase the probability and the possibility of our winning. And what starts to happen is you become an impossibility thinker into a possibility achiever. All your life, you've had this secret notion about you.

• 19:12Ed Mylett?

  Deep in your heart, you were known, you were born to do something great with your life. When you were a little boy or a little girl, you just knew it. Maybe even had a family member who made you feel that way. They saw the special in you, didn't they? I'm here to just remind you today. They were right. You were right. You were born to do something great with your life. And I mean, yes, you, sister. Yes, you, my brother. And maybe no one's told you in a while. Maybe no one's reminded you in a while. But I want you to know, God made you to do something great. He made you in His image and likeness with a big plan.

• 19:51Ed Mylett?

  And you're gonna make a difference in people's lives in what seem to be small ways that end up being huge ways down the line in their life. And some of the things when you're doing it's gonna feel really big when you're doing it. But remember what I said earlier, when you're making history in your life, most of the time, it doesn't feel like it. Because you're in the midst of the work, you're in the midst of the fog, you're on that lonely road to success that I've described in other podcasts. If you've not heard those shows, listen to them. It seems lonely. It seems dark. It doesn't seem like you're getting there. But meanwhile, you're making deposits in the bank account of success every single day. The truth is, the people that win, that become the goats, that are the great ones, they've just made more deposits in the success account than those that haven't.

• 20:35Ed Mylett?

  And they make those deposits because they do needle-moving things, they get up a little bit earlier, they do it more consistently, they believe they're closer than they are. They know that when they're crushing in a one area, they're expanding in others. They know it's a game of inches, they know it's almost too scary to talk about. But the thing they really know is that they were born to do it. That they were born to do something great with their life. So I'm here to remind you, it's closer than you think. You're closer than you think. There are no secrets, but there are secrets. There are lies, there are flawed belief systems, and hopefully today, we've rid you of a few of them. I really believe in you.

• 21:13Ed Mylett?

  And I don't believe in you because I've met you, because millions of you I haven't met. I believe in you because I believe in God. I believe it doesn't make any mistakes. And even if you don't believe in God, that's okay. I got enough belief for both of us. And I know that you were born to do something awesome, that you're not here by mistake. I know there's a purpose to you in your life. And I know the more that you do these things I've described, that purpose will be revealed to you, even if it's not clear to you now. Over time, it'll be revealed. Over time, those deposits you're making. Millions of other people in your life, and maybe just a few of them. Will be the benefactors of making the withdrawals, because you did all of the work. The people that you love will thank you someday. For doing all of the work you've done.

• 21:59Ed Mylett?

  Just right now, they can't see it. Right now, maybe they don't even believe it for you. But I believe it. And I know you're gonna do something great. I hope today helped you. Hope every week when we come back on these solo episodes, that you go, I picked up another thing. I'm more inspired, I learned something, this is something I'm gonna shift. I know for me, it was valuable today. I feel like I was talking to me. I feel like I was talking to me. We're all in this together. We're all brothers and sisters. None of us are better than anybody else. You know, the world is gonna try to convince you that we're all separated. That we're all at each other's throats right now. We're all in this together. And although we may have different opinions and belief systems about different things. We're brothers and sisters nonetheless.

• 22:40Ed Mylett?

  And we were put here and born to make each other's lives better. And that includes you. You are uniquely qualified. To change other people's lives. You're the only person on earth right now. With your experiences, your personality, your background, your heart, your mind. All combined into one human being. Man, that's pretty special.

• 23:06Ed Mylett?

  Man, you're special. By the way, if you want to get more content like this, I help my friend Brendan Burchard in growthday.com/edmylett, growthday.com/edmylett. If you go there, I speak in that environment on a very regular basis for him. You can go check that out. Get my book, The Power of One More, and share this podcast, the number one growing podcast in the world, for a reason. And hopefully today, illustrated that fact. God bless you. Max out your life. This is the Ed Mylett Show.