Higher State of Mind w/ Jon Gordon

If you’ve ever felt like there’s something missing in your life, THIS is for YOU. This is all about MINDSET. JON GORDON is more than just my friend, he’s my brother and we often share our innermost thoughts with each other. This week, we’re both going to share some of those thoughts with you. Privately, he is an ADVISER and a CONFIDANTE. Publicly you know him as one of the most sought-after public speakers in the world who has written 27 BOOKS and sold over 5 MILLION COPIES! This INSPIRATIONAL and FAITH-BASED chat between two great friends will guide you to living a more COMPLETE and FULFILLED life, without feeling like you constantly have to prove yourself. You’ll learn the keys to adjusting your focus so that you can experience an abundance of LOVE, CLARITY, COURAGE, and CONFIDENCE that will seep into all areas of your life, from being a better friend, spouse, or parent to enhancing your leadership skills, understanding your mind and soul connection, and deepening your faith. I consider Jon Gordon family. By the time you finish listening to this episode, you’ll feel a new level of ONENESS with him as well. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Ed Mylett?

  I hear so many small business owners say the exact same thing. They just never have enough time in the day. Well, I measure time differently. I've compressed, condensed, heck, I've bent time. My first day is 6:00 a.m. to noon. My second day starts at noon and goes till 6:00 p.m. And my third day, 6:00 p.m. to midnight. I now get 21 days a week. Stack that up over a month, over a year, over five years, and my life's completely different than it would have been otherwise. And if you want to win as an entrepreneur, you have to compress your time too. And you definitely can't afford to waste it. Waiting weeks on a big bank for capital? Your best bet's to work with my friends at Cardiff. They know how to compress time for entrepreneurs. They get your business approved in minutes and funded the very same day. They're America's favorite small business lender, and for good reason.

• 0:45Ed Mylett?

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• 1:02Speaker 01

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• 1:35Ed Mylett?

  This is the Ed Mileage Show. Welcome back to the show, everybody. So, I keep my personal circle really small. And it's not that it's a big deal to be in it. But I don't let a lot of people in and especially close to me because I believe you know, people that have proximity to you have the biggest influence over you. And my guest today is somebody that I'm honored has gotten very, very close to me the last few years. He's made a huge impact in my life and I'm very, very grateful for his presence in my life. He's been on the show before and the show was so well received that I asked him to start the year sometime in January, February, can I get you on? And he's here

• 2:17Ed Mylett?

  today. In addition to being a great friend of mine, he's authored, coming up on 27 books. He's sold only five million books and he's one of the most prolific speakers in the world. And also, he's a counselor to some of the top leaders in the world in business and in sports, professional and college athletics. A lot of those leaders go to him for counsel and I do oftentimes as well. So Jon Gordon, welcome back to the show, brother.

• 2:41Jon Gordon?

  Ed Mylett, it's great to be with you and I gotta say that you've been a huge influence on my life. My friendship with you has been such a blessing.

• 2:49Ed Mylett?

  Thank you.

• 2:49Jon Gordon?

  Starting last year, we got to spend more time together.

• 2:52Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 2:52Jon Gordon?

  Spoke at one of your events and then came to the Max Out Live event.

• 2:56Ed Mylett?

  That's right.

• 2:57Jon Gordon?

  You gave such an amazing talk.

• 2:59Ed Mylett?

  So did you.

• 2:59Jon Gordon?

  Do you remember me coming back there and just started to weep and cry?

• 3:02Ed Mylett?

  I'll never forget it.

• 3:03Jon Gordon?

  Yeah, I haven't cried like that in years. I've cried maybe two or three times in my life and that was one of the times.

• 3:08Ed Mylett?

  Right?

• 3:09Jon Gordon?

  Yeah, that I really just, I mean, my father passed away five years ago. I cried. My son was going through a big challenge a few years ago. I cried and I cried in that moment, just seeing you speak, seeing you share, just it, it brought something deep within me out. And my year, that year, my word that year was power. Like it was about bringing more power to my life. And it was amazing because out of that vulnerability, out of that openness, came this incredible power that I didn't expect. Came out in the talk.

• 3:37Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 3:37Jon Gordon?

  And then all year, it's been a year of power and I really credit like your influence on me.

• 3:41Ed Mylett?

  Oh, wow.

• 3:41Jon Gordon?

  Your relationship, your friendship, your guidance, seeing this incredible impact that you have has been just so inspiring. And then it's just been a big part of my life. So I love you, brother.

• 3:51Ed Mylett?

  I love you.

• 3:52Jon Gordon?

  When you asked me to be on the show is just a huge honor and you're one of my top three people in this world.

• 3:58Ed Mylett?

  We always tease each other. When I speak, he's like, you're one of the top speakers. I'm like, one of? What are you talking about? So what we do lately is we rank each other low on lists. So that's why I'm the top three and you've got to be easily top 41. Right? If there's 41, 42, you're right there with me.

• 4:14Jon Gordon?

  I'll take that.

• 4:15Ed Mylett?

  Just kidding. You said oneness and one of the things that I feel with you is a oneness. Both in, there's a brotherhood for you and I in our faith, but also, you know, I just admire how much you're trying to become a better man and I watch the way that you connect with people and your work is so brilliant and I can't wait for everybody to now start to get some exposure to it. So let's talk a little bit about this thing you've been teaching me, which is oneness versus separateness. What does that mean?

• 4:39Jon Gordon?

  It all comes down to oneness and separateness. So when we feel oneness, we feel a connection to others, a connection to ourselves, a connection to God, the creator of the universe, right? We're meant to be one with our creator. There's actually scripture that says that nothing could separate you from the love of God. So you're always connected to that love. So when you're connected to that love, you feel purpose, you feel joy, you feel happiness, you feel unity, you feel strength. Think about a team that, that is a united team, one team. They are a powerful team. When you are connected to oneness and you experience that and feel that, you have power, you have strength. And then there's a separateness. As we move from oneness to separateness,

• 5:20Jon Gordon?

  we feel separate, we feel weaker, we feel divided. The word anxious literally means divided at its Greek root word. Think about that. So the more divide you feel, the more anxious you feel. So we move from oneness to separateness and everything in life could be explained literally in terms of oneness and separateness. So do I feel separate? Do I feel disconnected? And when I am, we actually move from, when we go from oneness to separateness, we move from positive to negative. We move from living inside out to outside in when we're separate. When we're separate, we look outside. We feel separate. Everyone blames. Social media for the problems of today, for people's mental health issues.

• 6:05Jon Gordon?

  But it's actually the fact that they feel separate.

• 6:07Ed Mylett?

  You're right.

• 6:08Jon Gordon?

  And because they feel separate, they now are looking outside. They're comparing themselves and when you compare, you despair. And that leads to you seeking a feeling. You're seeking to feel better, but you feel worse and worse and worse because you feel separate. You're looking at other people's lives instead of your own soul, instead of your own purpose, instead of your own journey. So the more we look outside instead of inside, we feel more and more separate. And that leads to seeking instead of knowing. So when you're one, you have like this knowing, like, okay, I know what I'm here for.

• 6:43Ed Mylett?

  Right.

• 6:43Jon Gordon?

  I'm connected to this purpose. I know what I'm here to do. I know my journey. I, I, I feel confident. I have courage. I'm, I have clarity. But as I move towards separateness, I don't have that clarity. I have clutter. I have fear. I have worry, anxiety, doubt, insecurity. I have a lower state of mind when I feel separate. When I am one, I have a higher state of mind. And in that low state of mind, what happens is you start seeking. So I'm seeking a solution or I'm seeking a feeling. And what you really want is that feeling of oneness. You're seeking that connection. And it's why addicts, for instance, addicts feel separate. So what do they do? They try to fill the separateness, the void with things that will make them feel better,

• 7:26Jon Gordon?

  but they're cheap substitutes to what they really seek.

• 7:29Ed Mylett?

  Well, they are, and they want to stay on this because I was actually, this is amazing. We're talking about this. I had a conversation at dinner last night and without being really personal, it was my son's 21st birthday. He'd never had a drink before. I'm pretty sure he hadn't too, because he'd made a promise to my dad, who was sober many years, that he would wait till he was 21. So he had his first drink yesterday and it was a very awkward thing for me.

• 7:50Jon Gordon?

  Right.

• 7:51Ed Mylett?

  You know, because it made me feel separate from my dad almost, watching my son have a drink. I don't know. I'll explain it. But in the process of doing that, I said, Max, you know, I was talking to my daughter too, about how, you know, more you use something external to feel something, before you feel separate, you're trying to externally feel something. I said, you know, Max, a lot of people that get addicted. To drugs like meth or heroin, at some point, stop getting high. They can't even get high from anymore, but the pattern is there, so they keep doing. You gotta do more and more and more to eventually blow out all the dopamine receptors. You can't even get high anymore. And that's sort of a metaphor for what you're discussing here, too, is like, the more we feel separate, the more it's external stuff. Their life, not my life. How does somebody, before we go to higher state in or lower in thinking?

• 8:35Ed Mylett?

  How does someone begin to feel more oneness and less separateness in their life?

• 8:39Jon Gordon?

  Right. Well, one, there's a hole in your soul. And so you have this hole, so you're always trying to fill this hole with things and stuff and fame and success and wealth.

• 8:51Ed Mylett?

  Why'd you point at me when you said fame? You pointed at me? You did.

• 8:54Jon Gordon?

  Well, because you're very successful. And you're the most famous guy I know. We go to, we go to UFC fight together. We can't walk two feet without people coming up to you.

• 9:02Ed Mylett?

  Well, that's nice. I thought you were saying I was still filling myself up.

• 9:04Jon Gordon?

  No, no, people want that.

• 9:05Ed Mylett?

  Right.

• 9:06Jon Gordon?

  People want that. They want what you have. And what happens is people are chasing it and they're seeking it. And the more they do, right, they're filling that hole in their soul, but, but only God can make you whole. W H O L E, right? Only God makes you whole. So it's that connection.

• 9:20Ed Mylett?

  Which is your word for the year.

• 9:22Jon Gordon?

  That's, and that's why it's my word. As I'm writing this book, and this is a book that's coming out in about May or June. As I'm writing this, I realize, you know what, I have this hole in my soul and, and I want to be whole. We all do. We all have a wound. And what happens is the more separate we feel, the wound gets worse. The more one we feel, the more it heals, the more we can heal that wound. So, so our relationship with God really is important, is essential, because you were never meant to be alone. You are meant for relationship. It's why loneliness is an epidemic. It's why it's actually more dangerous than most diseases, actually being lonely.

• 9:59Ed Mylett?

  It's so true.

• 10:00Jon Gordon?

  Right. People are dying from loneliness. Health issues come about because of loneliness and isolation. So think about, the more we move from oneness to separateness, we get more depressed. We have more feelings of disconnection, isolation, despair. And what does that do? It causes us to retreat. So instead of running towards oneness, we actually run away towards separateness. What we need the most, we resist the most. And so what happens is we're, we're filling that hole with all the things that, that doesn't help us. It's almost like, I'm in LA right now. It rained a lot.

• 10:29Ed Mylett?

  It did.

• 10:30Jon Gordon?

  The last couple of days. Okay, well, I got a leak in my place.

• 10:34Ed Mylett?

  So do I.

• 10:35Jon Gordon?

  Right, I got a leak, all of a sudden, there's a leak happening, and I'm like, oh no, like, the leak, we didn't know, existed. Everything seemed great. But then the rain came. The storm came. Adversity, challenges. It revealed the hole that you have in your place. Life will often reveal the hole that you have when you're dealing with a difficult situation. A challenging experience, right? You think you're great, I'm good, I'm like LA, it's sunny all the time, I'm great when it's sunny. But when things are hard, when things are tough, it will reveal the wounds that you have.

• 11:10Ed Mylett?

  You just nailed it. Everybody can function pretty well when it's sunny in their life.

• 11:14Jon Gordon?

  Yeah.

• 11:15Ed Mylett?

  How do you function when the rain comes? And when those leaks get exposed? Are you under the illusion that you're separate? Because the truth is, in our faith, and by the way, whatever, you and I both believe in the quantum and in energy as well, right? We both do. The truth is, that's an illusion, it's a lie you tell yourself, you're never separate. You're always one, it's always right there for you, it's always right there. Since the day you were born, actually, before you were born.

• 11:38Jon Gordon?

  Before you were born.

• 11:38Ed Mylett?

  It's always been there, so you are never separate. And I think people in business and life that are great are better at creating oneness with people. They create partnerships, they create relationships. They have an energy about them that says we are one. You know, I often, my son teases me, but I call a lot of my friends brother. And they'll, he's like, Dad, is everybody really a brother? And I'm like, yes, they actually all, we all have the same DNA running through us. And I said, Max, it's also important that I remind myself that this person's my brother, and I remind them that they're my brother. And I call many of my girlfriends, I call them sister. Because there is a oneness that comes from being a part of the same family. So if you're listening, you're like, this is great theoretically, how the heck does this apply in my life? It applies in every area.

• 12:20Ed Mylett?

  Makes you a better father, a better mother, a better business leader, a better salesperson, a better coach. All people who can communicate and feel oneness. They call it in sales books, rapport. Rapport is really oneness. In fact, cheesy sales books will say, match and mirror someone's cadence and pace, right? They, that's all the cheese. The artificial way, it's actually a sense of spirit, I feel like you have, and you speak so eloquently about this, which you call high state and low state of mind in creating this oneness and separateness. This is some of, everybody, I want you to listen closely, this is some of the most cutting edge, brilliant work you will hear in a very long time in your life, and it's simple.

• 13:00Ed Mylett?

  And sometimes, simple things that seem commonsensical aren't sophisticated enough to rise to the threshold in most people's lives of brilliant. But this is brilliant because it is simple and it's so true, so, go ahead.

• 13:12Jon Gordon?

  The closer you get to truth, the simpler the lesson becomes.

• 13:17Ed Mylett?

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• 14:00Ed Mylett?

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• 14:45Ed Mylett?

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• 15:21Jon Gordon?

  And so how do we get to oneness? We love. How do we get to a higher state of mind? We love. When you are loving what you do and loving the moment and loving people and loving the competition if you're in sports and loving your team if you're a leader. The minute you focus on love, fear dissipates. Fear is what separates. Fear divides. Love unites. Love creates oneness. So I was just talking to a young man. He is really struggling, 20 years old. And we just had this great conversation. He reached out to me and he's searching for his purpose. And I said, listen, you're a performer. He's a musician. I said, let me tell you about Pavarotti. Pavarotti said, you know, everybody wants the audience to love them. But I love the audience.

• 16:06Jon Gordon?

  I said, focus on loving what you do. Focus on loving your friends. Don't worry about your friends thinking something great about you because he's very insecure. I said, just focus on loving others. And what happens is when you become love and you love others, guess what? Everybody will be searching for you because everyone is searching for love, as the song tells us. Everyone really wants love, so they're searching for you. So the minute you start loving people, you move towards oneness. And also from a high state of mind standpoint, that's the ultimate way to have a high state of mind. Because when you are focused on love, you create connection. Love creates connection, unity, oneness, right? From connection, we get clarity. We see things very clear and we have that connection. Football players will tell you, right? I have a lot of clarity.

• 16:50Jon Gordon?

  When you're in the zone, you have a lot of clarity when you're in the zone because you feel this connection to the moment. Really. Time slows down. You feel like you're a one with everything and everyone, right? Time literally like ceases to exist. So you're in this oneness. And then from there. That leads to confidence. So we got connection, leads to clarity, that leads to confidence. So, so the more clarity I have, the more confident I am. We often think that, oh, I'm confident, so I have clarity. No, when you have clarity and you see things clearly, you have so much more confidence. So true. And then that leads to courage. And so the more confidence you have, the more courageous you will be, the more you will go for it. Okay, let's go. And when you're in a low state of mind as an athlete, or a performer, or in sales, or in business,

• 17:34Jon Gordon?

  you don't want the ball when you're in a low state of mind. When you are on a sales call, you're in a low state of mind, you don't want that call, you don't want that meeting. But when you're in a high state of mind, when you're feeling great, when you're feeling like I am one with everything, you're ready to take it on, and you're going for it, and you're not worried about the outcome. See, the minute you're loving the moment, you're not thinking about the outcome, you're loving the process. And when you love the process, you will love what the process produces. And I think about Michael Jordan, I was with the Bulls, speaking to them a few months ago, and John Paxson was there, one of Michael Jordan's teammates. I said, "What was it like playing with Michael?" He said, "Let me tell you something." He didn't have fear, because he was so focused on competition. He wanted to beat you so bad. See, fear didn't make him great.

• 18:19Jon Gordon?

  And I believe everyone says, you know, "Oh, he hated to lose." Okay, that's a part of it, that's an equation for success, but fear will never cause you to be great at something. Only love can do that. So what did he love? He loved beating you. Yep. He loved the competition. Yep. He wanted to destroy you when he played. So he's not thinking about failure in that moment. Think about a lot of people, "What happens if I fail? What happens if this talk doesn't go well? What happens if this meeting doesn't go well? What happens if this business deal doesn't go well?" There's all this fear. He wasn't fearing anything. He was so focused on the competition and winning and beating you, it drove him. It created a oneness within him in that moment. So it's the love of competition that's key. And I just spoke to a young man who's Struggle as well and a lot of anxiety and I said, you know what?

• 19:03Jon Gordon?

  You gotta get back to just loving the battle and loving playing and loving the competition. He's like, you're right, I got, I got away from that. I was talking to a minor league hockey player a year ago. This is when I came up with all this. So I start teaching him this, this, these strategies. Turns out hadn't scored a goal in six games. And so he has just struggled. He wants to make it to the NHL.

• 19:23Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 19:23Jon Gordon?

  He's at his wits end. He's on the roller coaster going down and there's this roller coaster of a state of mind. So he's going from high to low. And if you're in a roller coaster that is gonna crash, what would you wanna do if you think the roller coaster's gonna crash? You wanna jump off.

• 19:37Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 19:37Jon Gordon?

  Well, guess what? He wants to jump off.

• 19:39Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 19:39Jon Gordon?

  He doesn't even wanna play anymore. He's done, like he's frustrated, but then he's also searching for answers.

• 19:45Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 19:45Jon Gordon?

  Cause he thinks something's wrong. Something's broken. So the more he's thinking, the more he's having revved up thought, the more clutter he has. And now he has a lower state of mind. In the book, I diagram this and I draw pictures and so forth, just like I do in the talks. But now he's got this lower state of mind, trying to figure out answers, wanting to jump off the roller coaster. I said, wait, just stay on the roller coaster. Get back to loving playing and loving the competition. That's how you got here in the first place. He did. Next thing you know, scores six goals in three games.

• 20:12Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 20:13Jon Gordon?

  Gets called up to the NHL and scores a goal in each one of his first NHL games. It was amazing to see. It was so cool to see because he got away from all the outcome stuff, all of the thought and just focused on love. So how do we get to oneness? We focus on love instead of fear. I know it sounds so simple.

• 20:29Ed Mylett?

  It's not. Let me, let me say something to you about this. It's amazing how we reach the same conclusions in life. So I'm, you know, one of the MLB players that I'm working with right now, didn't have a great season last year. And he's really down on himself. He's down on the game. He's down on the organization. And there's just parts of, this is the other, the illusion. You don't have to love everything about what you do. You don't have to love everything about your spouse either. You have to love things about them. And so he was focused on, hey, it's the media, it's this, the other. I said, okay, let's just stop right now. What do you love? And he goes, I love being with my teammates. I love being in the locker room. I love the moment where I'm dialed in and I'm facing that picture and it's me and the wrong, the guy with the wrong lid on out there. I said, what else do you love? And I made him make a list.

• 21:11Ed Mylett?

  It got all the way down to, he goes, man, I love when they first cut the grass when we go out there. And I love the smell of the first cut grass. And he goes, I said, what about the batting? He goes, I love the smell of pine tar. We went through all these things that he loves. And by the time we were done, he found enough things about what he loves to reengage in the process and to improve. Same in your relationships. If you're struggling in a relationship with somebody right now, stop, okay? Because what you're doing is you're obsessing on the things you don't like that aren't healthy. What do you love? What makes them beautiful to you? What is things about them that are high level thinking that you love about them? And you'll find when you return to those things, same with your sales job. If you're driving in your car right now, same with going to the gym. Full confessional for me. I've trained hard in the gym for 30 years. It's part of my identity.

• 21:56Ed Mylett?

  Guys like you and they may be like, hey, man, I'm in the gym. Send a guy, send me videos. Because of you. The truth is, when, when COVID happened, I took a little breather like some people did. And I got away from it a little bit. And I started going, man, I'm sore. I've got a left shoulder injury. Man, if anyone knew about how often I tear my hamstring and pull my hamstring. And my bones are built. I'm tired of carrying this body weight. And I started to really get to this process. And I was like, really? It was hard. I dragged myself into the gym. Well, I don't have to drag myself into my relationship, drag myself into my marriage, drag myself into the gym. What do I love? I love sweating. I love training. I love how I feel when I'm finished working out, right? I love what it looks like after I'm done. I love feeling strong. I like when I put a suit on, it fits a certain.

• 22:41Ed Mylett?

  I don't like what it looks like when I don't. So when you connect to the things you love again, this may be very important for so many of you because the other part that you say that you work with a lot of great leaders. Yeah. Can I say who some of them are that are friends? Okay. So Sean McVay, we were just discussing Sean's a good friend of yours. Sean McVay is the head coach of the Rams. He just won a Super Bowl last year, right? Great friend of yours, right? The guy that you work with. A Dabo Sweeney, who's become a friend of mine through you, who I think is one of the great leaders I've ever met in my life. And when people ask me often, what do you think's made Dabo such a great leader? The first thing I think of is not his savvy, his unbelievable oratory skills, although they exist, or his strategy, or his ability to recruit. It's how much he loves his players. Yep.

• 23:26Ed Mylett?

  It's the first thing I think of when he introduces a player to you. Each one of these is like his son. He loves them. So I'm curious, with these leaders you've worked with that are great leaders, or LaFleur from the Green Bay Packers, that's a friend of yours. What do they have in common as leaders that make them good leaders? Are they better at what you're describing of being in the higher state as opposed to the lower state?

• 23:46Jon Gordon?

  I do believe that. I believe they have more clarity and also work with Kevin O'Connell with the Vikings and Brian Dable. Shared this with him this summer. Doc Rivers, shared it with him. I love sharing this teaching because guys like that get it and they want to be better leaders. They want to grow. They want to be the best they can be for their team and they will get that information from anyone. And when I'm open to sharing it, they're open to receiving it. So, yes, they have a lot of love. They also have accountability, you know, so they have a love where they're sharing that love with them, but they're also helping them be their best. And because they love their team and their team members know that they love them, they earn the right to challenge them and push them to be their best. And push them to be great. So, so love is a huge part of the equation, but I'm convinced integrity.

• 24:28Jon Gordon?

  All right, oneness and separateness. Integrity comes from the word integer, which means whole, complete. A leader with integrity is whole and complete. Let's compare that to a narcissist. A narcissistic leader is separate. They're so focused on themselves because they feel separate. They protect themselves and they're focused on themselves. They don't care about anyone else because they're so focused on them. Usually as a self-protective mechanism. Many of them have been wounded in the past. And actually, if you study narcissists, you study their brains, they actually are able to shut off different parts of their brains that disconnect it from the other parts of the brain. So, at the neurological level, they're creating separation that we're talking about here.

• 25:11Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 25:11Jon Gordon?

  Where a leader with integrity has wholeness and completeness. And so, there's no gap in their character. There's no gap in who they are and what they say. But with the narcissistic leader or the leader with a big ego, for instance, there's a lot of gaps. There's a lot of character gaps. And so, what they say and what they do are often different. So, think about that. The rain comes, the storm comes, and that reveals the gaps within that leader. And then people say, can I trust you? I don't think I can. With the integrity-based leader, yeah, I can trust you. And so, that's why trust and integrity build long-term success.

• 25:47Ed Mylett?

  Connected to oneness though, right, John? I mean, what you're saying, I'd never thought about it that way. But when you're one with your message, you practice what you preach, you become a great leader. When you say one thing and then don't do it and do another, there's a separateness that that creates and that builds the lack of trust. I've never thought about it that way.

• 26:03Jon Gordon?

  There's a gap. Let's look at ego, for instance. People say ego is the enemy. Ego is not the enemy. Separation is the enemy. Because you feel separate, you feel powerless. So what happens? The ego arises to give you a sense of power. What does ego stand for? Edging God out. Creating separation. So now you're operating out of this separate, limited power where you're trying to be powerful, but it's limited because it's not connected to something greater. You're edging God out, so it's not connected to oneness. It's connected to self. So it's actually not very powerful. So it seems powerful, but it's not. It's ego-driven. And as a result of that, it drives what you do, how you act in a negative dysfunctional way, rather than feeling one.

• 26:46Jon Gordon?

  If I felt one with my team, if I felt like I was a leader with integrity, if I felt love for them, I would include them, I would involve them, I would care about what they say. But if I have an ego, I don't care about what they say because I feel separate and I see them as separate.

• 27:00Ed Mylett?

  Yeah. You know what's interesting? When you were talking, I was thinking about a word that used to be used a lot that's not, that I love in people. And the word's enthusiasm. And when I think about people that I think bring an energy that's infectious to whatever they do, their family, their business, their body, their faith. There's a level of enthusiasm about them. And that enthusiasm, the root of it, is their love for what they're doing, or their love for the process, or their love for the results, or the difference that it makes. I've had people, oftentimes the show, people say, "There's an energy when I listen to your show, like you so are into your guests, you enjoy them so much." And I've actually said many, many times, I actually love them.

• 27:43Ed Mylett?

  And even before we start, you and I said a prayer before we started, I always say a quiet prayer before we start. And I try in my life, I don't even know when this started. I consciously do not know when. Because I do not believe it was the way I lived for a while. But at some point, I started really like, what can I love about this person? Yeah. If strangers walk by me, this sounds really weird, but I'll just peace be with you. You've heard me say that before, like just peace be with you, like just, and I have found my, the way the world responds to me has changed when I come from a place of, someone sent me the other night, man. I'm not on social media much, although I post on there, I don't scroll it much. Right. And, um, I don't know if you've ever seen these things, because you're on Twitter, and this was a Twitter thing.

• 28:25Ed Mylett?

  And, uh, it's these like fight, it's these Twitter sites that are just fights. Right. It's humans fighting humans. It's two kids in a bathroom in high school slugging it out. It was, the next one was a guy on the street who took a fire hydrant to a guy's, and I'm watching these humans do horrible things to one another, and some of it's political, red versus blue, some of it, some of it was racial, some of it looked like someone had mouthed off or said something or whatever. There's just a lot of different things that divide us. And it's exactly the word I thought, these people don't know they're connected. They think they're separate. Yeah. They think they're separate because one likes, uh, socialism and one likes capitalism. They think they're separate because one of them's a Christian and one of them's, uh, Hindu.

• 29:07Ed Mylett?

  Or they think they're separate because one's black and one's white, or one's old and one's young, and what, and I'm like, this illusion of separateness in our world today, and how the media, social media, the mainstream media, gets paid to separate us. Yep. And every, and everything in our lives. So you know those pieces in your closet that you find yourself wearing like on repeat all the time? That sweater that kind of just goes with everything, or these perfect pair of pants? Those are the pieces that make getting dressed easy, and that's what Quince does best. Quince focuses on high-quality wardrobe staples with premium materials, like a hundred percent Mongolian cashmere, organic cotton. The styles are timeless, versatile, and designed to become the dependable pieces you reach for every day.

• 29:51Ed Mylett?

  It's what I'm wearing right now. They give you the softness and quality you'd expect from a luxury brand without the price tag. Quince also makes premium pants, fitted tees and polos, and breathable activewear. Quality basics designed to work with your wardrobe and hold up to everyday wear. I love their cotton tees. I'm wearing one now, and I- I get a ton of compliments when I wear them on the podcast and when I speak. So find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com/ed for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. That's Q U I N C E dot com slash ed.

• 30:29Jon Gordon?

  Everything in the world is ultimately comes down to oneness and separateness. And there's an evil. We have to admit there is evil. Look in the world and you see it.

• 30:37Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 30:37Jon Gordon?

  There's an evil that is looking to divide and separate you. And there is a God who loves you and wants you to wants to unite you to others and back to himself. And that is ultimately the battle going on between this evil that's separating. So do I feel separate from you or do you feel one with you? And you just nailed it. The media is always creating news or shows or talking points that separate.

• 31:00Ed Mylett?

  Gosh.

• 31:01Jon Gordon?

  That divide. Let's talk about racism. What is racism? I wrote about that in the book just this morning. I said, okay, what is racism? Actually looking outside, feeling separate, seeing color and thinking that one color is better than another color. That's what it is. But if if I truly knew the truth, if someone knew the truth, right? We all should know the truth, right? And I do know the truth. That's why I don't practice racism or have it. I see the soul in you.

• 31:31Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 31:32Jon Gordon?

  I have a soul, you have a soul. I love the word namaste. Namaste means the spirit in me bows to the spirit in you.

• 31:39Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 31:40Jon Gordon?

  And so my spirit sees your spirit and we are one. And it's a sense of connection and togetherness. I don't believe we need diversity training. I believe we need oneness training.

• 31:50Ed Mylett?

  Oh God, that's so good. That's so good.

• 31:52Jon Gordon?

  We need to let people know we are one. We are one people, one race, right? One soul, one spirit all here together. But I gotta say this, Ed, I watch your love on display. And that is one of the things that really inspired me, the way you truly share with people and the way you care. Like you love and you care and it does shine. And I believe it's why you attract so many people to you. We're at dinner. This is like a little example. We're at dinner, me, you, Erwin, a few other people. And Erwin orders a Diet Coke.

• 32:25Jon Gordon?

  Half an hour later, you call the waiter over and say, hey, I don't think he got his diet coke. Half an hour later. I didn't even notice the diet coke never came. But you cared enough to know that he didn't get his diet coke. You cared about him. You actually called the waiter over and politely asked for it. And I was like, wow, like Ed cares so much. He noticed the little details. So, so love is not about this big thing. I'm just gonna love people. It's about what am I doing to love people? How am I showing that I care? And you just gave such a great example of that.

• 32:53Ed Mylett?

  Oh, thank you. Love is a noun and a verb, right? I guess it's an adjective too, to some extent. It's descriptive, but, but you can act in love for people too. I appreciate you saying that.

• 33:05Jon Gordon?

  It is powerful.

• 33:05Ed Mylett?

  Now I'm gonna go deep with you. Now we're going to the deep, deep. So you get to hear what he and I and friends of mine talk about sometimes. So I was talking, you didn't know I was gonna ask you this. So I told him before, I'm not telling you what I'm gonna ask you. So you and I were talking, I asked Deepak Chopra on your behalf about this too. I interviewed him yesterday. But I was, um, I had said something to you about the subconscious mind. I use the term unconscious and subconscious mind. And you said to me, do you know where that's located? And I gave you my answer. I said, well, I think it's in the prefrontal cortex, you know, and the basal ganglia and, and here's how it works. And you said, well, what if that's the Holy Spirit, which is sort of connected to our souls?

• 33:44Ed Mylett?

  And I repeated that to a friend of mine who is an atheist the other day. Cause I thought this was a powerful thing my friend John said. And he goes, well, then where's the soul located? So I'm just, I look at your face change. So, so I'm curious as to your thoughts as to the, we have a brain. We know that. They've never been able to locate the mind specifically. So your thoughts about, is there a mind-soul connection? Is the mind the soul? Is the Holy Spirit the soul? I'm curious as to your way of thinking. So you did not know I was gonna ask you this. But I wanted to ask you and I thought, I'm gonna record this when I ask my dear friend his view on this.

• 34:17Jon Gordon?

  I love that you did. And I actually wrote about it in the book.

• 34:20Ed Mylett?

  Oh, you did?

• 34:20Jon Gordon?

  I put it out there. Yeah. Because I talk about oneness. What are we connected to? What is oneness? What are we? Who are we? When you understand that we are 99.99% empty space, cause we are made up of atoms. Atoms are literally empty space. We are more light than physical. We are light. We're not physical. We are energy. So if you understand that, we just appear. Like we are physical, but we're actually energy vibrating slow enough to appear that way. That's right. So we're energetic beings. That's right. We live in an energetic reality. How do we make sense of this world? We see spectrums and colors and wavelengths and sound vibrations. So everything we see in this world is actually the result of an energetic vibration

• 35:05Jon Gordon?

  and how we ultimately make sense of the world and apply meaning to it. So the body is just temporary, but the soul is eternal. And the mind and the soul are one. So when I talk about mind, it's mind and soul. That little, the way I perceive it. Yeah. Is that it is like, it's inside you. Jesus said, "The kingdom of God is inside of you." So we have this shell of a body that's the cocoon. Our friend Erwin and I actually talked about this the other night. We have this cocoon that is the shell. But when we die, think about it, the body turns to dust. But the soul is eternal. So the soul is expressing itself, its journey, its unique purpose, its unique spiritual DNA

• 35:50Jon Gordon?

  that it has, that it came into this world to live and share and go through challenges and suffering and pain and adversity to learn, to grow. The soul comes in, in this body, but it has an eternal significance to it. So the soul doesn't die, but your body does. And your brain does as well. So the brain is the hardware. It's where activation happens. I've talked to neuroscientists. I've said, "Hey, have you ever found a thought inside of a brain?" No, we haven't. No one has ever found a thought inside of a brain. They don't exist in the brain. It's where the activation happens. Right now, we're making sense of this conversation. People are listening to this conversation. They might be watching it. They're making sense by their brain firing, right?

• 36:35Jon Gordon?

  And neurosynaptic connections are happening. And think about neurons. What are neurons? Little transmitters and receivers inside of your brain. Hundreds of billions of them. Billions, making sense of everything. We're energetic beings, making sense of this reality that we're experiencing. Yes. But, but this soul, right? This soul is expressing itself. So it's, it's, it's, it's not happening necessarily in the brain. The brain is the activation. And it's how we perceive things and see things. So the soul, the thought. Activates the brain to be able to have the thought become realized. And that happens all the time, like we are wearing apparel that are words with, you know, on apparel. So it starts as an idea, as a thought, then you wear apparel.

• 37:20Jon Gordon?

  Starts as a thought in your head, but then it becomes a reality. You manifest it in your life, you start to see it, you start to experience it. So everything begins, this is real deep, begins with a thought though. And so, once you understand that it's the soul, right? That is basically using the brain to activate, to experience. Then you understand that thoughts exist in consciousness. It's like the internet cloud of consciousness. And thoughts are always coming in. Now, here's the key, for a lot of people, they have a lot of negative thoughts. Yes. And so, when those negative thoughts come in, I always say to people, are they coming from you? And people often say, yeah, of course, they're in my head. But if they're coming from you, who would ever choose to have a negative thought? Would you ever choose a negative thought?

• 38:04Jon Gordon?

  This blows people's mind, I love this. This is so good. You would never choose a negative thought. So thoughts are coming in from consciousness. Thoughts come in from, there's an evil force that is always trying to divide you and separate you. What is Black Panther about? Good versus? Evil. Harry Potter, good versus? Evil. Superman? Same. Good versus evil. Wonder Woman? Good versus evil. Every epic movie is about good versus evil, because that's the narrative of the universe. That is the battle that's going on, and our mind is the battlefield. And so, the soul is basically living this journey to take on evil with good. To either be separate or to experience oneness.

• 38:44Jon Gordon?

  And it's basically happening in our lives, in our reality that we're experiencing. Our brains are processing. Consciousness actually comes through the heart first, so the heart is actually connected to consciousness. You actually experience, and heart maths research shows this, you will experience. Consciousness through the heart, three to five seconds before the brain even realizes what's going on. That means we live in a projected reality, which would make sense, an energetic universe, a projected reality, which is what Bohm says, right, a projected reality. So, we're projecting this reality that we're experiencing, but the soul is experiencing it beforehand. I believe baseball batters who have intuition of what the pitch is gonna be, their heart and their tuned into the oneness in the moment and the zone,

• 39:28Jon Gordon?

  are able to actually know what pitch is coming beforehand.

• 39:31Ed Mylett?

  Bro, you're incredible. So, first off, everybody, you're welcome. Just so you know, like, I'm sitting here listening to you going, a couple of things, I just gotta jump in, a couple of things about what you just said about the baseball thing.

• 39:39Jon Gordon?

  Hopefully it makes sense.

• 39:40Ed Mylett?

  It totally makes sense. And by the way, if it doesn't, rewind and listen again, right? Like, I, uh, first off, this is why this is the greatest show in the world, because we go to these places that no one else ever goes on, on shows. It could be, this could be fitness, it just works, we go really deep on this show. And, um, Deepak Chopra, here's what's interesting. You're a Christian, I don't think Deepak is, I think he's, I don't know what his particular chosen faith is, or that he doesn't have one. It is sort of remarkable, though, to hear what you just described and to hear what he described when I asked the same question, and how almost literally identical the description is. Except you've reached a conclusion that there's a Savior.

• 40:18Jon Gordon?

  Right.

• 40:18Ed Mylett?

  And he has not reached that conclusion. But the concept of the energy, the heart, the thinking, and, and actually, he uses a term, he, for, here first, he says, "All thoughts are magical lies." And I've said many times, as you've heard me say, you don't have to believe everything you think.

• 40:32Jon Gordon?

  Right.

• 40:33Ed Mylett?

  And then he, I asked him about a term, about, "Do you think some thoughts are reincarnated?" Right? And he said, "I do." And I actually believe a great baseball player has a reincarnated thought of where that pitch is. And that's why repetition in life matters, that's why practice matters, because it allows you to reincarnate a thought. So, if I've hit enough pitches that are low and away as a batter, or I've thrown enough punches that are a right hook to the chin, and I've thrown enough of them, that when I have the, I, I have the millisecond thought that I'm gonna throw that punch or hit that ball, it's reincarnated because it's already been there before.

• 41:06Jon Gordon?

  Reincarnated from when, though?

• 41:07Ed Mylett?

  From the, from the practice that you put in, from the experience. I'm talking about in athletics. So it's called a reincarnation because you brought the thought back from a previous experience. And so we could say that consciousness is this unbelievable floating of energy and experiences that have happened in our lives and our experience. And we regenerate them over and over again. But in terms of being an athlete, I really do believe this or in anything, even in sales, when someone asks that question. And you have that immediate beautiful response when it happens. That is an energetic connection that you've made. You and I would call that the Holy Spirit. Some of my call that a reincarnated thought, but in that moment, you're able to see something almost before it's happening. In some sort of slow motion, like, let's just be honest.

• 41:49Ed Mylett?

  We both know this podcast right now is something really, really special. It's not like other ones we've done before.

• 41:55Jon Gordon?

  Never.

• 41:55Ed Mylett?

  And the reason that we know that is because there's a certain energy that's flowing between the two of us. When we do this, I believe it's because we love each other. And so on my show, I always love the guest. I'm not sure they always love me back. They're probably nervous half the time, right? But when you have two people that love one another. Another magic show I had was Rob Dyrdek and I recently. People were like, my gosh, it's two men that love one another. So it just has a different resonance to it.

• 42:18Jon Gordon?

  And there's trust too, is important.

• 42:20Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, you can be safe. You can say what you think, right? In your case, I want to continue down that road, but I want to connect it to something that you teach that. I also agree with, which is that goals may be a little overrated. And it's connected to this as well, because I think there's this hyper obsession in our culture with outcomes and goals. Oftentimes creating a tremendous amount of pressure that actually blocks you from achieving the feeling. That you think you would get if you achieved that physical thing in life. And so I often say standards matter more than goals, but I really like the way that you phrase this. So I want to kind of pull those two things together.

• 42:57Jon Gordon?

  I love that we just went to what is the soul too? Let's talk about goals.

• 43:00Ed Mylett?

  Right. Well, let me tell you why I did it sequentially that way, just for someone else knows how I think when I'm putting a show together. My ultimate goal is to go to heaven.

• 43:09Jon Gordon?

  Yeah.

• 43:10Ed Mylett?

  And I've had an acceptance in my life that I don't have to necessarily work my way there.

• 43:19Jon Gordon?

  Ah, so good.

• 43:20Ed Mylett?

  I've also made some deep commitments in my life that matter much more to me than the goals. And I really believe in my life, if I adhere to those commitments, that the end result becomes automatic. So I believe they're very much connected, the two topics.

• 43:34Jon Gordon?

  What's so special about that is I was thinking, I want to share this, but how am I gonna share this going to goals? And then you just made it possible for me to share it. Because I'm like, this is unbelievable, how this happens, right? Again, research from HeartMath shows when two hearts are in connection like this, there's actually like an entrainment where they actually start to synchronize. And they actually start to synchronize together, they become one heart.

• 43:56Ed Mylett?

  Oneness.

• 43:57Jon Gordon?

  Yep, one heart instead of two hearts, which goes back to oneness. So, why does it matter? If we're gonna die one day.

• 44:05Ed Mylett?

  Right.

• 44:05Jon Gordon?

  Why does this life even matter?

• 44:07Ed Mylett?

  Right, right.

• 44:08Jon Gordon?

  Why does it matter what we produce, how much success we have? Why does it matter if we write a book that may not be around in a hundred to two hundred years? If we make a great bottle of wine, what, like, why does that matter? What, what, someone's just gonna drink it, it's gonna be done, right? If someone's gonna eat the meal, why should we make a great meal if they're just gonna eat it? It's because there is the eternal nature to temporary things. I want to give credit to Erwin, because he and I had this deep conversation about that Earl McManus, where we talked about this, because I was exploring this, thinking about this, and he really helped me thinking through, thought it through, in terms of the fact that it matters because we are eternal souls living a temporary reality. So even though we're in this moment right now,

• 44:53Jon Gordon?

  the eternal soul is operating and living from an eternal reality right now. So everything we do is actually eternal. The love we give to our kids is eternal. The commitments we make every day, that's eternal.

• 45:05Ed Mylett?

  Very good.

• 45:06Jon Gordon?

  When we show up and we produce great work, that's eternal. So the love and the care that you put into your life, into your work, into your family, that's what lasts, nothing else does.

• 45:20Jon Gordon?

  I'm just, I'm so excited, I'm thinking so fast ahead, but appearance is temporary? Appearance is temporary, but essence is eternal. So it's the essence you put into it. So goals are often appearance based. Like what's my goal? What do I want to achieve? What number do I want to have? That's appearance based, right? Goals are temporary. I was with a football team, an NFL team. I had them write down their goals. And then I said, rip them up. They're like, what? It just took five minutes to write them down. They were all mad. I'm like, oh, I better run out of here. But they were a little excited. They were a little frustrated. I said, no, just give me a second. Give me a second. I said, how many of you have a goal of winning the Super Bowl? Quarterback wants to probably win an MVP. Have so many passing yards, running back. Have so many yards. Y'all have certain goals, right? Is that your goals?

• 46:05Jon Gordon?

  Yup, yup, yup. I go, every single guy in the NFL right now, in their, in their training camp room, has these same goals. Yeah, right. But will goals take you to where you want to go? No. But your commitments will. So then I had them write down their commitments to their goals. You know what, John? I'm going to commit to more recovery time. Cause my body often breaks down. So I'm going to spend more time in recovery, more ice baths. So I don't break down midway through the season. Another guy said, I'm going to eat healthier. Not a goal, but I'm going to eat healthier. I'm going to focus on the process. I'm going to eat healthier. So that way I have better nutrition because my body often breaks down because I don't eat healthy. So now these guys were talking about their commitments. The quarterback said, I'm going to spend more time in the film room. I've got to spend more time. I got to get better there.

• 46:50Jon Gordon?

  So I'm going to spend more time doing that. I'm going to commit to that. So it's committing to the process. But the process matters because the process is an eternal moment where our essence is shining through, creating something amazing in that moment. And so the eternal, again, is what lasts. It's experienced right now, but it's also being experienced in eternity, forever. See, we live in a, like, once you understand quantum, the quantum field and the quantum mind, all of that, like consciousness is the quantum field and the quantum energy. So consciousness, when the Holy Spirit comes through, it comes through the quantum field. This is just the ocean. It comes through, but that's how it reaches us. When we're hearing thoughts, it's coming through the quantum field. We're interacting and vibrating every day with the quantum field and with consciousness.

• 47:34Jon Gordon?

  And so every day we're living this life, we're creating an eternal reality, right? In this temporary world. That's why this world matters. Yes. Cause otherwise it wouldn't matter. It's not like earth, then I go to heaven. What did Jesus say? Bring heaven to earth. Make earth like heaven. We're meant to make it right here, right now. We don't wait till we die. We're not meant for that. We're meant right here, right now. Because this is the eternal moment, right here, right now.

• 48:02Ed Mylett?

  So good. It's, by the way, one of the most important questions, because when you're depressed, or you're in the lower state of mind, that's the unconscious conversation you're having with yourself. Why does it matter? Why does it matter? Why does any of this matter? That's really, it's one of the most important questions of life, is why does this matter? And I've seen people do it both ways. I've seen people who are really down on their luck and having difficult times. I remember when I was a little boy, my grandfather died. And I was so sad because he was so good to me. He was the only person ever went to any of, all of my baseball games. He never missed a game. And I remember when he died, and I remember literally being depressed. And I remember thinking, why does this matter? You're gonna die anyway. Why does it matter? And so that answer that you just gave is so profound and so beautiful.

• 48:45Ed Mylett?

  I've also seen people achieve things in their life. Get there, and it wasn't quite what they thought it was going to be. And they go, well, then why did this matter? And now you've had an answer to that question. If you ever begin to feel that way again, I really recommend you rely back on what we've been talking about here today, because it's a profound answer you just gave.

• 49:02Jon Gordon?

  And you know what also is really important to share with people? It's really important. You know, Deepak gave his answer. He's not sure what he fully believes, right?

• 49:09Ed Mylett?

  Well, he may. I can't express it. He may be able to express it, I can't.

• 49:12Jon Gordon?

  But in terms of faith, he may not be a Christian, right? Here's what I believe about that. The truth doesn't need Jesus or Christianity to exist. The truth exists regardless and separate from that. But Jesus and Christianity actually explains the truth of oneness and separateness. It's the only thing that explains it. And when you understand that there's a wound in your soul, and everyone could actually talk about the wound and knows the wound. We've all had this hole where we know there's something more, where we feel less than, where we feel unloved, where we feel like we're, we're searching for our purpose, where we feel empty at times. We've all had that moment in our soul where we just truly feel lost and empty. And when they understand that there is a God that created you for oneness,

• 49:57Jon Gordon?

  and that this wound is meant to be healed. So you have a wound, and then how do you heal it? Love and forgiveness. So you heal every wound through love and forgiveness. What I often say is that wound... That pain, that burden you've been carrying, that trauma you've experienced, it's like inflammation of the soul.

• 50:17Ed Mylett?

  Hmm.

• 50:17Jon Gordon?

  You have inflammation. We know to have a healthy body, you gotta remove the inflammation.

• 50:21Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 50:21Jon Gordon?

  So the body can heal itself.

• 50:22Ed Mylett?

  Hmm.

• 50:22Jon Gordon?

  Well, you have to remove the inflammation within your soul so your soul could be healed.

• 50:27Ed Mylett?

  Hmm.

• 50:28Jon Gordon?

  What removes it? Love and forgiveness. And that's when I became a believer in Jesus, because I realized he's the only one that actually came to heal our soul.

• 50:36Ed Mylett?

  Hmm.

• 50:37Jon Gordon?

  And to take the burden, take the pain, take the inflammation through love, through forgiveness, and his whole purpose is to create oneness

• 50:45Ed Mylett?

  Hmm.

• 50:46Jon Gordon?

  with God to make us whole, W-H-O-L-E. So he takes the hole in your soul, H-O-L-E, and he makes us whole by taking our pain and our burden through love and forgiveness. It makes so much sense.

• 50:57Ed Mylett?

  How many books had you written before you were a Christian?

• 51:01Jon Gordon?

  I'd written two.

• 51:02Ed Mylett?

  Two.

• 51:02Jon Gordon?

  And I, I came to faith as I was writing Energy Bus.

• 51:06Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 51:06Jon Gordon?

  So people literally said they can see my faith almost being transformed, because I was a big energy guy and still am, right? Still am.

• 51:13Ed Mylett?

  Right.

• 51:13Jon Gordon?

  It's all one.

• 51:14Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 51:14Jon Gordon?

  It's all one.

• 51:15Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, it's all one.

• 51:15Jon Gordon?

  Once you understand that, right, it's all one, it makes everything easier to talk about. So...

• 51:20Ed Mylett?

  How have you achieved? So I want to ask you this, though, the application of all this.

• 51:23Jon Gordon?

  Yeah.

• 51:23Ed Mylett?

  So, we've been deep in theory today and, and application. But the application of these principles in your life has made you one of the most prolific authors in the world. Let's just be clear about this. This stuff has an application, everybody, to your work, to your life. So, because I think there's a lot of people listening going, "Look, I, I, I'm, I'm with you. I want this. I need to do more of this. I need to be certainly cognizant and mindful of all the things you guys are discussing."

• 51:51Jon Gordon?

  Yep.

• 51:51Ed Mylett?

  Same time, I'm not sure I know what my purpose is, and I'm not achieved at a very high level, and although I, I, maybe I've been too focused on goals, enough on my commitments. But something happened with you, bro.

• 52:01Jon Gordon?

  Yeah, big time.

• 52:02Ed Mylett?

  Something happened where your life exploded. There's things you did.

• 52:05Jon Gordon?

  Yeah.

• 52:05Ed Mylett?

  So not only the prolific author, you are, I, I think in college football, I think it's safe to say you're the most sought-after guy to come in in leadership in, in college football.

• 52:15Jon Gordon?

  Probably.

• 52:16Ed Mylett?

  And that's transcended in now to the NFL, it's transcended the NBA. You're an unbelievable speaker.

• 52:24Jon Gordon?

  We're with a ton of corporate clients as well.

• 52:25Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, tons of corporations in the business world.

• 52:27Jon Gordon?

  We don't talk about this for the corporate clients, though.

• 52:29Ed Mylett?

  Right.

• 52:30Jon Gordon?

  We talk about leadership and teamwork.

• 52:31Ed Mylett?

  But also, even like I said when I opened the show, like, I had almost nobody to my circle, right? So like... What have you physically done that's changed your life? The external, it sounds to me like the internal changed and then this external life just exploded.

• 52:51Jon Gordon?

  We always create from the inside out. And it's so funny because that's the end of my book, actually. The last chapter, I talk about my journey. And I talk about how I was depressed, how I was down, how my wife almost left me because I was so negative. I was searching for answers. I was seeking, I was getting ready to jump off the roller coaster. And that was me, that was my journey. I had so much angst, so much anxiety, so much fear, so much stress. I'm 30, 31 years old and my wife is about to leave me. She's like, if you don't change, we're over. And that is where everything began to change for me. That is when I finally said, I've got to figure this out. I want to be a more positive person. And I started with just a simple step. And it always starts with simple steps. We have to remember that.

• 53:35Jon Gordon?

  We're talking theory, but I love that you always bring it back to practical application. What could you do today? You could take a walk of gratitude today. Because research shows you can't be stressed and thankful at the same time. So if you're feeling blessed, you won't feel stressed. If you're feeling grateful, you start to rewire your brain, literally rewire your brain. You start to tune your brain into a higher frequency when you're practicing gratitude. So I'm walking every day and I'm practicing gratitude. That turned into walks of prayer. And I just started to say, God, I don't have all the answers, but I need help, God. God, I trust in you. I believe that you have a plan for my life. I expect all the great things in my life. I accept all the people who want to work with me and benefit from my gifts and talents, God. Somehow, some way, it's going to happen.

• 54:16Jon Gordon?

  And I literally started to speak a life and speak words out there saying, I was going to create this life. Now, along the way, from that, I started to surrender and trust and saying, your will, not my will, God. I can't believe that I believe what I believe, right? You know what I mean? Like, you know, it's like, come on. Like, what I believe, I can't believe I know what I know now. What I know, I'm able to teach this one truth. I'm able to teach these lessons because I'm obedient and I surrender. And on my walks, God speaks to me because I make time. For a relationship with the Creator.

• 54:53Jon Gordon?

  If you want to have a better relationship with your wife, and you guys have an amazing relationship, but say you wanted a better relationship, you have to spend more time together, right? I mean, well, maybe with my wife and I have too much time, but enough time. She doesn't want to see me too much. But you gotta, you gotta spend more time if you want to. We're just joking, by the way, Catherine. But if you, if you want to have a relationship with someone, you spend more time with them. Well, to have a relationship with God, you gotta spend more time with God. Spoke to this young man today. I said, "Are you an accident?" He said, "No, I'm not an accident." Because he was down the existence of God. "Are you an accident?" "No, I'm not an accident." I go, "Well..." I said, "If, if, if there's no God, then you're just an accident." "No, I'm not an accident." I go, "Do you have a purpose?" He goes, "Yeah, I have a purpose. I'm searching for my purpose." I said, "Well, if there's no God, there's no purpose. It's all accidental. It's all randomness. There's no purpose. There is no meaning."

• 55:37Jon Gordon?

  He said, "All right, well, I'm, I'm open to that." I said, "Well, here's what you gotta do. You want to know your purpose? You want to live your purpose? Start focusing on having a relationship with God and just trusting and surrendering and taking walks and asking for guidance and just believing and just be open and just have faith. The more you do that, the more you connect with God, he'll start to reveal your purpose in your life." That's what happened to me. I said, "God, what's my purpose? Use me for your purpose? Guide me towards my purpose." It's the prayer that Ben Newman always says. "Use me for your purpose and guide me towards my purpose." And I would say that every single day. So I was doing a lot of things that were allowing me to tune into God, get mentally healthier, speaking words of encouragement, and I would talk positive words instead of negative words.

• 56:21Jon Gordon?

  When the negative thoughts came in, I would replace the negative with something positive. So instead of listen to yourself, you talk to yourself. So I would do that. And that just really started to impact me. And I'm convinced the more I did that, and the more I trusted, and the more I surrendered, and I was obedient to it. When God gave me an idea for a book, I wrote it. When God said, "Write this training camp," I wrote it. The main scene, the main character comes to faith, literally in a locker room, you know, and with coach and gives his life to God.

• 56:51Speaker 01

  This episode is brought to you by Organe. Organe creatine monohydrate helps improve muscle size, strength and power when combined with a regular exercise and weight training routine. It supports brain health and it's certified with informed choice so you can compete with confidence. Studies show that creatine may support brain health in the vegetarians and aging individuals. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

• 57:21Ed Mylett?

  You say some things really quickly that people will miss that are beautifully profound.

• 57:25Jon Gordon?

  Sometimes I speak too fast.

• 57:26Ed Mylett?

  No, no, you just said a lot. One of the things you just said there is maybe I should stop listening to myself and start talking to myself. That's not small. Listen, everybody, there's a few keys. Let's take faith to the side just for a second, okay? A couple of keys he said. Number one is he took walks. Why does that matter when you're trying to connect to your faith or even do creative thinking or unleash your genius? There's a power to moving your physiology, to moving your body. Now, when I pray at night, I'm well-known for saying I pray on my knees. Makes me feel small, reminds me of my smallness in context to the world. Same time, though, I pray many different times a day. I create many different times a day. They are always following or during a workout or moving my body. So people ask me, how do you write your book? How do you give your speeches? How do you come up with the ideas, the concepts, preparing for an interview?

• 58:11Ed Mylett?

  It's during my workouts or right post my workouts. Your form of that is taking a walk and moving your body. It's a massive key, okay? The second massive key is language. The way you use words. You just said a lot right there, but the way we use words, it defines and magnifies and it actually creates experience. Words create experience. And so if you're having a difficult time, really, truly evaluate the words and the language you use. I've watched people when I've been out to dinner with them, "This service is horseshit." You know, and I'm like, "No, it's not. It's, it's, they could do better."

• 58:50Jon Gordon?

  Right.

• 58:50Ed Mylett?

  Or, or even people use words to minimize if they want to lose weight. "Well, I eh, put on a few pounds." "No, you're getting fat." Right? Like, the way we use words is really important in our life. And I, it used to be the self-help personal development culture. This was a centerpiece. The last 10, 15 years, this whole notion's gone away. And no one talks about how much language changes our life. Just the switch of different words and contexts. And I've watched myself, when I've checked into a hotel, my room's not ready. And I'm, gotta give a speech, "This is bah." You know, and I'm like, "Hold on a minute." Right? What's the word here, really? This is unfortunate. This is frustrating. This is, this is disappointing. There's a different tone into your, to your language.

• 59:34Ed Mylett?

  So just speak to that for a second, how important language is in someone's life.

• 59:38Jon Gordon?

  I think people think that it's corny these days in doing that. And that's why I sort of taken a backseat.

• 59:43Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 59:43Jon Gordon?

  They made fun of him on Saturday Night Live, right? Like, "You're smart enough, you're good enough, and gosh darn it."

• 59:48Ed Mylett?

  Yeah. People like me.

• 59:50Jon Gordon?

  Right.

• 59:52Jon Gordon?

  But the key is the words we speak speaks life into us and then gives us life. So you're creating either life or death with the words of your mouth. And so, am I speaking hope, faith, trust, confidence? What I want to create in the future? Am I focusing on the past, the negative? Who hurt me? Who wronged me? And so when those negative thoughts are coming in, do this exercise. Write them down on the left side of a piece of paper. Write down your negative thoughts that, that come in, right? What are your common negative thoughts? On the right side, write down the words of encouragement that you will say to yourself in the future to speak life into yourself. The word encourage means to put courage into. So when you're encouraging yourself, you're putting courage into yourself.

• 1:00:37Jon Gordon?

  When you encourage others, you're putting courage into them. And think about enthusiasm. Enthusiasm means, right, comes from the word "enthos," means feel with the divine.

• 1:00:46Ed Mylett?

  That's right.

• 1:00:47Jon Gordon?

  So bring that energy, that divine, that passion, that purpose, those words of encouragement to your life, and you'll start to create a different life.

• 1:00:55Ed Mylett?

  So true.

• 1:00:56Jon Gordon?

  I was towards the negative. I was down. I wanted to give up. I was hopeless in so, so many times. And then I started filling out with hope. And with belief. And with trust. And I think that's the key. Hope gives you... One more day.

• 1:01:12Ed Mylett?

  It's true.

• 1:01:12Jon Gordon?

  One more day.

• 1:01:13Ed Mylett?

  There's a power to one more day. And by the way.

• 1:01:15Jon Gordon?

  Oh, one more. One more.

• 1:01:16Ed Mylett?

  There's power to one more. And I wanna, we don't have that much time left, but I just wanna second something you said there. People have commented to me that, hey, I don't hear you use profanity very often.

• 1:01:25Jon Gordon?

  Right.

• 1:01:25Ed Mylett?

  Here's the truth. I do use profanity in my life from time to time. I wish I could tell you that I didn't, but I do. But one of the reasons I abstain or refrain from it as much as possible is there's such magnifying words to negative states. And so I had to pull it out of my everyday vernacular because it magnifies negative states and takes me out of the state I need to be in, to be creating, to be productive, to be pulling the genius out of me. So it's just one really small thing. And for me, it matters in my life. I actually will use some of those words to magnify positive experiences sometimes. But I'm very, very careful about the way that I speak because I know it creates a state.

• 1:02:07Ed Mylett?

  And I think most things are created out of state. I wanna be in a peaceful, loving, beautiful state. And that is comprised of my faith, the way I move my body, what I focus on, and my language. And those things combined create a state, and that state is what you're gonna create your life out of to end up in the ultimate state.

• 1:02:26Jon Gordon?

  When you talk about state, I gotta just talk about frequency for a second.

• 1:02:29Ed Mylett?

  Please.

• 1:02:30Jon Gordon?

  Because our brain is an antenna. So you are tuning into a high frequency or a low frequency. So imagine these negative thoughts are coming in. You start to tune into them. You start speaking those words into existence. You speak them out loud. You start to tune into it even more. So now you have a lower frequency. Your brain is literally now tuning into the lower frequency more often. The more that happens, I'm convinced, we actually get a lower and lower frequency within our brain. And then from there, we go down the downward spiral. That's why the more negative thoughts we have, the more we actually have and get.

• 1:03:06Ed Mylett?

  Gosh, good.

• 1:03:07Jon Gordon?

  So we go down the downward spiral. Think about the brain. It's an antenna. So what should you do? Tune into the higher frequency, love, and joy, and gratitude, and hope, and encouragement, and faith, right? Take every thought captive. The renewing of your mind. As you're doing this every day, you're literally renewing your mind. You're raising the frequency of your brain, of your mind. You're creating a healthier brain, a healthier mind, right? That now is tuning into that higher frequency. And from there, that gives you the state. You're talking about state. State is nothing more than frequency. Tuning into now amazing things in this world rather than the hardship and the suffering. You're tuning into the positive and the hopeful.

• 1:03:51Jon Gordon?

  Now, why should you do that? Because there is suffering.

• 1:03:55Ed Mylett?

  Sure.

• 1:03:55Jon Gordon?

  There is pain. So you have to raise your frequency to help others deal with their challenges and their pain and their suffering. If you're sick, you can't help somebody else who's sick. You have to be well to help others. So it's about you becoming well, you raising your frequency, raising your state, right? So you can be someone who gives people hope through your words, but also your actions.

• 1:04:15Ed Mylett?

  Your brain is an antenna.

• 1:04:16Jon Gordon?

  It's an antenna.

• 1:04:17Ed Mylett?

  That is so good. And by the way, gosh, it's like a masterpiece conversation here, man. Like, this matters because I believe there's a pattern of thought. There's a pattern of language. There's a, and that creates a pattern in your life. And when you can begin to tune that brain into, that antenna into the right frequency, you, the results may not show up the first day, or the second day, or the first month, or the second month, or maybe even the first year or the second year. But you begin to create a pattern of your life to tuning into that frequency the majority of the time. You're, it's, life is not about 100% of the time, all the time. But I can tell you, and I know this of John as well. My life has changed over the last several decades because there's a pattern to my thoughts. There's a pattern to my language.

• 1:05:02Ed Mylett?

  There's a pattern to where my antenna is tuning in. And that eventually creates an external pattern of results that are produced or aren't produced. Why does all this matter? Final thing. Thank you for today, by the way. And, uh, but the final reason all this matters is you said something when you walked in. And I'm gonna let you finish the sentence, okay? And I'll let you elaborate on it. But you were saying this to a leader you were working with just yesterday. And you said, "All of this matters because wherever you go..."

• 1:05:30Jon Gordon?

  There you are.

• 1:05:31Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:32Jon Gordon?

  And so you're gonna take yourself with you wherever you go in life. You have a bad relationship, if you don't work on yourself, you're gonna just bring your bad self to another relationship. You can leave your job, go to another job. If you don't work on yourself, you're gonna bring that self to the other job. And it's not gonna go well there either. So as you work on you, as you become the best you, you bring that best to others. And then you help others be their best. Again, circling back, it all comes down to that oneness. When you're experiencing the oneness and you feel that connection, you have more purpose, you have more hope, you have more love, and then you share that with others. You ask me what I did? I had more hope by walking every day and praying and trusting, by doing these things and tuning my mind to a higher frequency,

• 1:06:15Jon Gordon?

  by practicing gratitude, by exercising, by working out, by eating right, doing all the things that you do every day. What happens, right? You create this person, this being, that is able to take on this world in a more powerful way.

• 1:06:29Ed Mylett?

  You're right, brother. You, you do that for me. I, when my dad was alive, this notion of wherever you go, there you are. I remember I was broke and pretty broken and just negative and down and depressed and fearful and anxiety and slothy.

• 1:06:48Jon Gordon?

  Yep.

• 1:06:49Ed Mylett?

  And my dad, I said, if I could just get my business going, Dad, if I could just get there. I got these dreams and I'm gonna have a mansion, I'm gonna have this. And my dad said to me, he goes, just so you know, when you get into that mansion, you have to bring you with you.

• 1:07:00Jon Gordon?

  Wow.

• 1:07:01Ed Mylett?

  And you get to find a way to find bliss and gratitude now in the small things in your life, Eddie. Because if you can't find them now, you won't find them when you move into that mansion. The furniture can change, but it's still you sitting there. And I just think what today hopefully did for so many of you is it gives you some, some insights, some thoughts, some strategies as you go in your life to bring a better you with you when you get there and where you are right now. Where do they find you? Cause I know my audience knows you pretty well, but after today, there's, you know, several million more people that go, alright, this Gordon guy is pretty damn good. How do I go get more from him?

• 1:07:36Jon Gordon?

  Hey, johngordon.com, johngordon.com and also Twitter, Instagram, at J O N Gordon 11. Love connecting with people and just if anyone wants to reach out after listening here, I'd love to hear from them and. Just check out The One Truth when it comes out in a few months. I think it's gonna rock people and blow a lot of people away.

• 1:07:53Ed Mylett?

  We'll certainly check out the book when it comes out. And then everybody, John's just a giver. So you're part of a really important man's life. He's making a big difference in the world and he's made a difference in my life, as I've told you all. By the way, everybody, I have one ask from you, which is to share the show. If the show makes a difference for you, share it with people that you care about, that you love, that you believe what we've talked about today could help improve their life, because that's why we do it. And today was a 25 out of 10, brother. So thank you. All right, God bless you, everybody. Max out your life. Take care. This is The Ed Mileage Show.