Don't Wait for a Crisis to Change Your Life — Maria Menounos

Emmy Award-winning journalist, television personality, and two-time New York Times bestselling author Maria Menounos joins the show for a deeply personal conversation about healing, loss, and finding your true purpose. Maria opens up about the decade-long barrage of challenges she faced — a brain tumor, losing her mother, a pancreatic cancer diagnosis, and Type 1 diabetes — and how each one redirected her toward the life she was meant to live. She and Ed discuss the identity crisis that comes with caregiving and loss, how to know when it's time to walk away from a career that no longer fits, and why a health crisis became her "get out of jail free card" to finally pursue her soul's calling. In this episode, you'll learn: - How to know when it's time to walk away from a career that looks perfect on paper but doesn't fit your soul - The "wonder over worry" tool Maria used while facing pancreatic cancer during pregnancy — and how Ed is already applying it - How to stop bracing for the next bad thing when life keeps hitting you with back-to-back hardships - The one question to ask yourself before quitting anything: "Am I quitting because it's hard, or because it's not right?" - Why Maria calls her brain tumor her "get out of jail free card" — and why you shouldn't wait for a crisis to pivot - How to give yourself permission to rest as a high achiever without losing your momentum - The lesson no one teaches achievers: when the next rung on the ladder isn't worth what you'd sacrifice to reach it - Maria's real-time playbook for losing her biggest sponsor, reframing the fear, and quadrupling her YouTube views in 30 days - A daily gratitude and "God talks" practice you can start in your car tomorrow - The most important thing Ed and Maria agree you should do with your parents while you still can - This is a conversation about healing, simplifying, and having the courage to redefine success on your own terms. Try QUO for free PLUS get 20% off your first 6 months when you go to quo.com/mylett For 15% off your first unique gift, visit uncommongoods.com/MYLETT. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed Sponsored Jobs https://indeed.com/podcast ---- Thank you for watching this video—Please Share it and get the word out! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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• 1:05Speaker 02

  This is the Ed Marlin Show.

• 1:08Speaker 03

  Welcome back to the show, everybody. So today, she's awesome. She's an Emmy Award-winning journalist. She's a television personality. She's a two-time New York Times bestselling author. She's interviewed the most famous people in the world, and she became one of the most famous people in the world. But more importantly, she became my friend, and I miss her. I haven't seen her in too long. We're supposed to do this in person today, but some stuff happened with me where we had to do it this way, virtually. But nonetheless, I'm grateful that she's here. She, uh, let's see, she's had a really easy life. She had a brain tumor a few years ago. Then after that, she lost her mom. Then after that, she had pancreatic cancer. And then after that, a bunch of other stuff.

• 1:52Speaker 03

  Other than that, it's been really smooth sailing for her the last few years. I can't wait to talk about all of this and help you all heal. She's also ironically the host of Heal Squad, which is one of my favorite podcasts. Maria Menounos, welcome back to the show.

• 2:07Speaker 04

  Thanks for having me. I can't wait to catch up with you.

• 2:11Speaker 03

  I know. We do it through text and calls, but we haven't done it in front of anybody else in a while. So let's do this. So I thought, where do I want to begin? And I figured probably the most important place, because you, I joke about how, you know, all the things that have happened, but we were becoming pretty good friends when you were losing mom. And I know how long and how much work you put in to keeping mom here with us. I mean, you were basically her doctor and researcher. Most people don't know that, but you were. And then unfortunately, I don't even know why I'm getting all choked up this early, but unfortunately, you lost her like I lost my dad. I just wonder, as you reflect on that time, how did it change you? How did it look at you now? You're getting teary.

• 2:52Speaker 04

  No, you're choking me up.

• 2:54Speaker 03

  So what, because you're not the same after. I'm not the same after I lost my dad. I know you're not the same after that. How are you different and how did it affect you?

• 3:04Speaker 04

  You know, I think, I mean, that's a huge loss.

• 3:09Speaker 04

  And I think like, you know, you, a big part of you just is, you know, a little lost and confused. Um, I know I had a lot of identity issues after because I was so in her care.

• 3:27Speaker 03

  Right.

• 3:27Speaker 04

  That, I mean, I was the fake doctor amongst all the other doctors, but I was running her, her care. I was her quarterback. And then when she passed, I was like, well, who am I now? Wow, I've really like dedicated five years of my life to keeping her alive and healing her and all the things. And so it was really hard, but it was like, you know, the movie, Santa Claus is coming to town. You just put one foot in front of the other and you just keep moving forward and, and you know, then more things kept happening that I had to keep tackling. It was like a 10-year barrage of just intense stuff.

• 4:08Speaker 04

  And I, I know that it all was happening for a reason, and I know that it was all for my purpose. It was pushing me to my purpose, Ed. Like it was pushing me toward where I'm supposed to go. You know, I was in this room with my mom when she was dying, and I remember looking up into the sky and being like, God, did I throw away my whole life?

• 4:34Speaker 04

  And I instantly heard, you're exactly where you're supposed to be.

• 4:39Speaker 04

  When I say instantly, the words came to me, you're exactly where you need to be. And I was like, okay. I cultivated that relationship with God where I would ask and the answers would come. And I was like, okay, so I don't know why this is happening. And my, my amazing training, you know, life is happening for you, not to you. That was a tool that I used through all of this. I was like, okay, well, maybe I'm supposed to learn all of this. Maybe I'm supposed to learn how hard caregiving is for people will help me when I'm out there in the world, or maybe I'm supposed to learn that, you know, this is a journey. It's a process. I don't know. I was like, I don't know what this is for, but it did push me towards what I was supposed to do.

• 5:20Speaker 04

  And when I think about before my mom got sick and before I got sick, I was in the entertainment industry and I was really kind of one toxic environment after the other. And there was just this ongoing pattern of me just bumping my head up against a rake and saying like, wait, I thought this place was going to be nice. And I realized, oh, I don't belong here.

• 5:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:49Speaker 04

  And this was a, at the same time, it was an amazing experience and it built me and made me who I am, but I didn't belong there long-term.

• 6:01Speaker 03

  Why? Was it because, did you ask the question of why? I want, I've always wanted to ask you this. We just haven't done it one-on-one. You go, you're a deep person and you love people deeply. Like you love to have like dinner with you is not like casual conversation. It's four hours. It's really what's going on in your life. It's emotional. And my sense is, because I'm around that world or was as well, it's a lot of surface relationships. And is that one of the reasons why you were asking that question when mom was passing? Like, did I throw it away, meaning that wasn't where I was supposed to be? Or that, was it something like that? Or was it just that you just knew that was a season of your life and that season was over?

• 6:39Speaker 04

  No, I was in the middle of the woods in Connecticut caregiving, caregiving and changing diapers. And I was like, wait, I'm a TV host. Look, what, what happened? I was on TV, like, what's going on? And so.

• 6:54Speaker 03

  Oh, did you throw that life away? Were you throwing that life away? Got it.

• 6:57Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 6:58Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 6:58Speaker 04

  And, and you know, and like I said, when I think about what was happening to me, when I was doing my things in the, in the industry, creating my own projects, making my own movies, writing my own books, anything that I did myself was a joy. Yeah, it was, there were tough times and tough things, but it was a joy. When I was acting on sets, anything outside of the Hollywood gossip world, because if you think about it, entertainment news was Hollywood gossip. I don't like gossip. And so it just, I kind of fell into it and I was super blessed. I mean, I made incredible money. I interviewed everyone.

• 7:41Speaker 04

  I had a lot of fun when I was with those people one-on-one, generally speaking. But overall, I don't think it was a fit for who I am. I like to help people. So I, I think my, it pushed me. I always say, if it was good, I would have been there forever.

• 8:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:00Speaker 04

  And I just kept saying, where am I going? Where am I going? Where am I going? And so eventually I realized, oh, I don't, I don't belong here. And after my mom died, I'll never forget, it was, it was a transition. And then eventually we got pregnant with Athena. And I remember when I had Athena, you said something to me and it stuck with me forever. And you're like, I'm so curious to see if you're going to want to work anymore.

• 8:26Speaker 04

  And it's been in the back of my head because I really have done very little.

• 8:32Speaker 04

  And I have enjoyed her and my fire is finally back.

• 8:37Speaker 03

  Good.

• 8:37Speaker 04

  In a big way where I'm like really excited to give birth to things again. But I have to have the balance of as much as I can with her because I also know tomorrow isn't promised. And the way I look at things now is when some decision comes forward, like you have to make a decision, are you going to go do this project? You're going to do this? I always look at it through the lens of, if I got a life-threatening diagnosis tomorrow, would I be mad that I did this and didn't do something with Athena?

• 9:10Speaker 03

  Wow. Do you, how, how do you know how, how do you make the decision? Look, you guys, not only was she very successful, like she said, she's making a lot of money. There's something that comes with notoriety that's addicting to, like being known, being respected, being able to get into places other people don't get into. You had access to everything.

• 9:32Speaker 04

  Everything.

• 9:32Speaker 03

  So it's very difficult. Trust me, I'm navigating it right now myself, the last few years. How much of this do I really want anymore? Right? How do you know? If someone's listening, they're like, I don't think I belong in my teaching job anymore. I don't belong doing what I do. How do you know? And how do you actually pivot and make that decision? Because yours was a biggie, like that was difficult. It was, it was even moving. I mean, really, I know you had the place out here, but like you basically moved your life. You took everything and uprooted and changed your life. What advice would you give to somebody who's like, they got that gnawing question right now themselves?

• 10:09Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's hard because I, after brain surgery in 2017, wanted to sell everything and live in a hut. I wanted to simplify my life back then. We're finally in the process of it now, but Kevin's big thing, my husband's, was, I'm afraid you might not be happy. I'm afraid you might miss this. And I'm like, but you know me, this isn't, this isn't me. This is what I get to do. It doesn't define me. It's not my soul's calling in any kind of way. I wanted to, yes, be famous and all of those things growing up. It was all alluring and exciting and all of that, but

• 10:48Speaker 04

  when you ask me why, and Kevin did back then when I was 19, I said I wanted to give my parents a better life. I knew that was going to propel me to a level where I would be able to buy them a house and buy them a car and do all those things, and I did. And it just wasn't filling my soul. So when you think about, are you doing the right thing is like, do I, is this what I love doing is like your first question? And then you have to have patience with it. We just did, I just hosted my third retreat. And it was called Your Guide Back to You. Funny enough, I, it's my first book in like 10 or 12 years. I don't even know how long.

• 11:33Speaker 04

  But I'm in process with the final. This was just the event version. And the whole idea was come back to you, who you are, who you were before the world told you who you're supposed to be, before the conditioning, before all the environmental, you know, conflicts, before the roles that you were established to be, your mom, partner, wife, husband, whatever. What made your soul sing when you were little? How do we get back to some of that? And so we did this event and part of the program was I brought an astrologer in. And this will help people. Because when I did my astrology, have you done it yet?

• 12:13Speaker 03

  No.

• 12:13Speaker 04

  Oh, my God, you're gonna do this. It's gonna be amazing. So when you do your astrology, or when I did it, I felt like I was able to accept parts of myself that I wasn't really accepting, right? Like I've been in self-improvement since I was a kid, reading Chicken Soup for the Soul. That's all I read was self-improvement my whole life. And I, sometimes I'd be like, well, why can't I be more like this? Or why can't I be more like that? And when I did astrology and I learned about who I was in a sense, I was like, oh, this is just me. I accepted that. So in this program, I brought this astrologer in for that purpose. So here's a breakthrough and an example. I had a woman, she was a geriatric nurse here in Connecticut.

• 12:57Speaker 04

  And you could just see she was tired. And she was like, I'm burnt out. I'm taking care of, you know, all these patients and I'm just cooked. And I could feel she was on the verge of wanting to quit. And there's actually a great quote, are you quitting because it's hard or are you quitting because it's not right? That's a great question to ask yourself.

• 13:15Speaker 03

  It is a great question.

• 13:17Speaker 04

  And so the astrologer did her chart and she said, I'm gonna tell you right now, your entire chart is service, service, service. And you saw her be kind of startled. And I said, hey, so this is what you gotta do now. Now you have to figure out how to fill your cup. So you can go be who you're supposed to be in this world. You are not filling your cup. You are burning the candle at both ends. So you have nothing to give. And then it feels not like it's not the right thing for you. She had such an epiphany. And instead of quitting, now she's gonna figure out, how do I carve out time in my life for me?

• 13:56Speaker 04

  So that I can be full. Maybe you want to quit because you are exhausted. Well, of course, something's gotta give.

• 14:04Speaker 03

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• 16:05Speaker 04

  But if you know a little bit of that backup, it's kind of helpful.

• 16:09Speaker 03

  It's so good. That's really good. Do you regret any walking away?

• 16:15Speaker 04

  No, greatest thing that ever happened to me. God loves me so much, Ed. I don't think I would have done it on my own because I was supporting an entire squad. And it took me to get that brain tumor and I did call him my get out of jail free card. I was like, this is my get out of jail free card. I can now do whatever I want. Sometimes we need the excuse. So my goal with people is don't wait to get a brain tumor. Like to do what you're supposed to really do. So for me, it was a slow kind of evolution. I was doing my show and

• 16:54Speaker 04

  and even that, I wasn't really fully in because I was so burnt. I mean burnt to a crisp and just exhausted and sad and all of the things. I had to heal. I had to give myself time. But what I realized was I was always meant to work for myself.

• 17:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 17:14Speaker 04

  And now I am. I'm, and I always wanted a talk show. It took me forever to realize I have a talk show.

• 17:20Speaker 03

  Right, right.

• 17:21Speaker 04

  I'm not having to answer to bosses or have sponsors I don't agree with. This is my own ship. And it's amazing. And guess what? I can go wherever I want and do it. And I can do whatever I want, what I want. I can be with Athena every morning for breakfast. My non-negotiables with her. I have breakfast with her every day. I have dinner with her every night. And usually I have lunch. Like we, she said today, she's like, mommy, is it a good idea to have a picnic? I go, it's a great idea. Let's have a picnic.

• 17:50Speaker 03

  That's great.

• 17:52Speaker 04

  And so I get to be with her and enjoy her because I know I'm gonna blink and it's gonna be gone. And that's what's most important to me. So now how do we squeeze in the other things? So that I can maintain the lifestyle that I want. But I pray to God every night, my God, I want to be as successful as I can be without having to work hard anymore. That's it.

• 18:12Speaker 03

  That sounds very good. By the way, we're gonna get to Athena in a minute. But that almost didn't happen. So you, you guys, she has, it's interesting. You look at Maria, I'm allowed to say this, where she's like my sister, we're great friends. She's obviously very beautiful. She looks like she's had it really easy. You know, she has not aged in like ever. And yet it's, you, did you hear what she said? I mean, she had a brain tumor. Then she lost. Yeah, still do, right. Still lost her mom. Then, and I'll mess up some of these details, but here's how I understood them from you and I talking about it. The pancreatic tumor stuff, the cancer stuff then pops up. You guys hearing this? That's the next thing.

• 18:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:52Speaker 03

  And this wasn't like, oh, you know, cute Hollywood lady had this thing. No, 10-hour long surgery, correct? 10-hour surgery. Okay, 10 hours, as I understand it.

• 19:03Speaker 04

  Maybe it was eight. Maybe the brain tumor was eight and that was 10. Yeah, I think that's right.

• 19:07Speaker 03

  It was 10. That's what you, I have the text still. And then.

• 19:10Speaker 04

  Then whatever I wrote is correct.

• 19:11Speaker 03

  Okay, so, but so here's what you, 10 hours, okay, you guys, they had to get the tumor out. Obviously, her spleen also. And I, if I'm allowed to say this, 17 lymph nodes removed as well, right?

• 19:24Speaker 04

  And a huge fibroid the size of like a small baby, which is ironic because I couldn't carry my own baby and I have a C-section scar anyway.

• 19:33Speaker 03

  What is, what, that's a lot. So then that happens.

• 19:37Speaker 04

  I have one diabetes.

• 19:40Speaker 03

  I didn't know that. You're type one. So that's a whole other podcast. But so when, when you went through that, were you afraid you were gonna die?

• 19:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, terrified.

• 19:50Speaker 03

  And how did that alter you?

• 19:52Speaker 04

  So I got the type one first. And what a need of the balls, because I had quit sugar two years before, so that no one would ever tell me I had diabetes. Yes, my dad is type one diabetic. It's supposed to skip a generation. I never was gonna get it, I don't think. I was in and out of prediabetes. It was a little weakness that that mRNA just went to and just exposed. But then I got pancreas cancer. It's called a neural endocrine tumor. So if you have pancreas cancer, there's two buckets, just like a brain tumor is actually. There are two buckets, the good one and the bad one. I got the good one. I got the meningioma. My mom got the glioblastoma, the

• 20:34Speaker 04

  bad one. Pancreas cancer, there's the one that Alex Trebek died of, which is the really fast killer. And then there's the one that Steve Jobs got, which he eventually died to. And that's the one I got. And so when the pancreas cancer hit, we were, let's see, probably three months into our pregnancy with Athena. And I am gutted in, in a hospital with my primary care doctor who had gone through everything with me, the brain tumor and all that. And the two of us are just bawling.

• 21:09Speaker 04

  Because pancreas cancer is the most deadly cancer. And I'm like terrified. And so I remember going home, and I was just in the fetal position, and I was looking at my mantle. And I have like my church icons. And I was like, God, how could you, after 10 years of infertility, finally got us pregnant with a baby? And now I'm not gonna get to meet her?

• 21:35Speaker 03

  Oh, gosh.

• 21:36Speaker 04

  It was the scariest thing ever. And the tools started coming in from my show, because on Heel Squad, I had, ironically, I'd forgotten about this guest. She actually wrote a book called Wonder Over Worry. But I only had remembered it from another hypnotherapist who had been on the show. So quickly, that tool came into my head the next morning. And I said, Okay, I'm gonna choose Wonder Over Worry. Maria, you have to do this. I wonder what it's gonna be like when the doctor calls with good news. I wonder what it's gonna be like when I get to the other side of this, and I'm cancer free. I wonder what it's gonna be like to hold my baby for the first time. Wonder, wonder, wonder, wonder. And it helped massively. And guess what? When you shift

• 22:21Speaker 04

  that, it's, we are magnets. All those good things do come. And I was so blessed. I had incredible doctors, and incredible healers, and everything. I was so lucky.

• 22:33Speaker 03

  Great.

• 22:33Speaker 04

  It was terrifying.

• 22:35Speaker 03

  I'm gonna steal that now. By the way, I haven't read that book. But I wonder, I'm going through a little thing right now, not health, but something else. And I, I, I need something like that to wonder to get to the other side. That's so, so good. Okay, the biggie, the good news is Athena. I remember when I found out, I was like, she's gonna be an unbelievable mother, even though it was later in life. I just, I just knew that. I knew it. I knew it. I told you that. And by the way, everybody says that to somebody. But like, in your case, I knew it. So, and by the way, it wasn't like at 22 that this happened either, right? And you and Kevin been together since, what, 15, 18, or whatever, like, yeah, forever. So two of you been together. How has that affected your view, your lens of the world? Because that's really what it is. It's a lens of the world,

• 23:20Speaker 03

  right? So like, how's that changed your lens of what matters, or what you see, or what really brings you joy?

• 23:26Speaker 04

  It changes so many things. So as a journalist, I never talk politics or anything like that. But there are moments where I just can't shut my mouth, because I'm like, oh, hell, no. So there's just like, a little touch of that that happens. And I'm like, you're not doing that to my child. But I, I have never been so happy in my life, even without my mom. Like, I thought this was gonna be excruciating without her. But ironically, she set me up with other moms to be totally taken care of. She has her abuelita, which was her best friend. And she's got so much love around

• 24:11Speaker 04

  her. And I know my mom has just surrounded her with that. She's got grandmother energy, mother energy. I say she's the people's baby. And why I say that is, she's everyone around us baby who may not get a granddaughter, who may not get the chance. Like, my best friend had breast cancer, she's never gonna have a baby. I'm like, she's your baby too. And my, her abuelita, I'm like, your kids might not have, have kids. I go, she's your grandkid. So she's the people's baby. And she is the most loved human on the planet. And it is Christmas morning every day for me.

• 24:50Speaker 03

  You told me that, yeah.

• 24:51Speaker 04

  Every day, it is Christmas morning. Like, I had to go to New York yesterday. And it was such a battle to not get in the car and drive another four hours to come back. Because I want to just wake up and have that moment with her. And I knew I had a full day of shows. And I said, Maria, you're gonna be better if you sleep, and you drive in in the morning, and you'll play with her once you get there. And yeah, first thing I did is, mommy, you wanna play tag? Yes, I wanna play tag. And you wanna have a picker? Yes, let's make Play-Doh houses. Let's do it all. We did so much already. So.

• 25:22Speaker 03

  You think you have that gratitude? I'm just thinking, like, in the moment. But because so every, a lot of people are going through hardships. Maybe had she arrived when you wanted her to 10 years before, it wouldn't be this, like, is, is there something to like, God's timing, and also those really rough times enhancing the gratitude of now?

• 25:41Speaker 04

  Billion percent. That's why life is always happening for you, not to you. If I got the things I wanted in life, I wanted to host the Today Show, I wanted to, I was not meant to be in these systems. I can do it. But I'm not, that's not where I'm meant to be. I'm meant to be here. I'm meant to be free and flow and be creative and inspired and shift to whatever I want to do. That's where I'm meant to be. It doesn't mean I won't take jobs, and I won't do these things. But I now know I need that element in a big way. But I would never have been the mom I am if these

• 26:23Speaker 04

  things didn't happen to me. In every 360 kind of way, the way I care for her, her, her healthcare, are you kidding me? The way she eats? She refused birthday cake on her third birthday in June, because she said, oh, no, I don't eat sugar. And I said, oh, honey, mommy made it with monk fruit. You can have this. This is healthy. And so I would have never been the mom, my, and if my mom was alive, and I was still in that world, my mom would have raised her. And it would have been two ships passing in the night all the time, because that's just how it worked.

• 26:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. I didn't think about that.

• 27:01Speaker 04

  I'm so grateful.

• 27:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, it all, it's like, everyone, just like, sometimes in life, you need to insist and enforce your intentions on the world. That's important. But there's other times, you need to let things come to you and flow. And, and having the discernment to know when, I don't believe in we just all sit back and everything just flows. I don't think either one of us believe that.

• 27:21Speaker 04

  No.

• 27:22Speaker 03

  That's, but, but at the same time, you have to have the discernment to know, which, which situation am I in? Is this one where I gotta go with the tide, so to speak? Or am I gonna swim up against it? And the more you begin to ask yourself, by the way, and no, you can deploy both options in your life, that you don't always have to force your way. And you don't always have to sit back and be a spectator either. But there's an in between place where you discern, no, I'm gonna make that extra phone call, because I want that meeting. I want that account.

• 27:48Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 27:49Speaker 03

  And there's other times where you have to say, no, this is clearly flowing in a particular direction. I'm gonna let it come in the right timing. Would you agree with that?

• 27:56Speaker 04

  That is such magic that you just shared, because it's exactly true. You're not, Santa isn't showing up and giving you a career. Santa isn't showing up and building your business. I am all about manifesting. I've manifested everything in my life, including the brain tumor, I think, unfortunately.

• 28:14Speaker 03

  Really?

• 28:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, because I remember saying to my mom, I'm like, I wish God gave me this. I would have handled it better.

• 28:21Speaker 04

  And then I got it.

• 28:23Speaker 03

  When you vibrated a high frequency like you do, you have to be really careful of what you think and say. Everybody does, but especially when you're vibrating at a high frequency because you do draw the things you think about and talk about into your life. Even more rapidly and more powerfully than you are when you're not vibrating at a high frequency. So. I'm a big believer that that may be true. What you just said, I didn't mean interrupt to just.

• 28:44Speaker 04

  Totally. But also when you, so I did a lot of Dr. Joe Dispenza. And those meditations were so powerful for me. And I remember when I was first starting to work with it. I would be in the shower and all the negative thoughts would come in and I would grab them like I was grabbing a catcher's mitt, throw them away and choose a new thought. And I was building this muscle for years. And now I'm at a place and I have been for a while. Where I live in like 90% gratitude. Now. Are there moments when things get a little busy and then I get a little out of alignment, I a little cranky and like. Yes, but that's because I'm overdoing and I'm not getting to flow. I need to flow. And so.

• 29:26Speaker 04

  But why I'm sharing that is because if you were in my brain when I'm driving. I actually started a new thing, but I'll tell you about the new thing in a minute, but I'll be driving. I'm like, thank you, God for this car. Thank you, God for my baby. Thank you for sending me a healthy, smart, gorgeous, amazing little human. That I get to guide. Thank you, God, for always answering me when I have questions or I'm scared. Thank you, thank you. I will list everything down to the pedicure I got that day. Thank you, thank you, thank you. It's a powerful vibration point to have because what flows into my life is generally a lot of that now.

• 30:04Speaker 04

  There's still stuff, trust me, but you can, you can help control some more of it than you think. One of the new things I've been doing is having God talks in the car where I'm like, God, I'll literally look at the time like, we have an hour and 10 minutes. Let's chat and I'll just start chatting and asking questions. I'm like, this is really like on my mind and my heart's so heavy and I don't know what to do. Can you please just take the wheel? Just do through me, whatever I need to do, because I don't know how to handle this. I don't know what to say. Speak for me. To help me to not say something I can't take back. Guide me, guide me, guide me. And I'll just talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. And then sometimes I'll get distracted. I'm like, God, I'm sorry.

• 30:50Speaker 04

  I got distracted and I forgot about our conversation because I went on Instagram or whatever.

• 30:54Speaker 03

  Sorry, the phone rang, God.

• 30:57Speaker 03

  That's so good.

• 30:58Speaker 04

  But you have to, you know, these things are so life changing. That's why I'm so grateful for all of them. I'm most grateful that I'm healthy and I'm alive and I have the, the, the gift of continuing the healing journey.

• 31:14Speaker 03

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• 31:52Speaker 03

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• 32:16Speaker 00

  What's the secret to being a great host this season? Keeping things deliciously simple, like mixing Simply Cranberry into a festive drink as guests arrive. Or serving up a warm mug of Simply Apple on a chilly night. That means less time behind the scenes and more time in the moment with everyone. Crafted with real fruit, Simply juices and fruit drinks make any holiday drink effortless, inviting and completely delicious. Simply say yes to simple.

• 32:45Speaker 03

  You're healing a lot of people today. And by the way, her show does that, you guys, like. You could tell this is a special soul. You just, she is. And I'm obviously biased because we're friends, but. I'm, I'm letting you all experience this with her today. I got a hard question for you. The catcher's mitt helps, but I want to push you on it a little further. When you have a lot of bad stuff. So there's people that are in here and they're like, look, I've just been on a run of bad news. I lost a parent. I got a divorce. I had this happen to my business. I made this bad investment choice, whatever it is, right? But they're like, hey, I've had a run. That's some not so good stuff. And what happens to people oftentimes is they're almost, and I used to be this way. Almost like bracing for what's next.

• 33:30Speaker 03

  Even when things have gone well for me, like way back in the day when I was younger and hadn't done the work on myself, when things were going good, I was like bracing. For when it was going to end, bracing for the bad news, bracing for that key person to quit or something. And I think it's, it's illogical when things are going good to do it, but it's not illogical. If you're just in your brain and not your heart to think, well, that didn't go well. That terrible thing happened. What's the next one? Then you get all these weird sayings. They come in threes. None of that's real. What would you say to somebody or even in your own case, like you'd have been welcomed? Brain tumor, lost mom. Pancreas cancer, like what's next? How do you avoid that?

• 34:10Speaker 04

  Yeah. Well, first.

• 34:14Speaker 04

  When you're going through, so let me remember the one thing that's easy. I will instantly be like, no, not my story.

• 34:22Speaker 04

  So I'll try to grab it with that.

• 34:24Speaker 03

  You'll pattern interrupt it immediately.

• 34:26Speaker 04

  I stop it. I'm like, no, not my story, not my story. But the other thing is when is hitting the fan. It, it's, you have to look at it and realize that you're being redirected. This is like a point of transformation that's coming and it's going to suck and it's going to hurt and it's going to be hard. And that's when you need to like cocoon with your closest people who are going to like help you through it. And be a little patient with that discomfort and a little patient with that process. Because it really is like, it's, you know, sometimes it's annoying to have these analogies, but it is like the caterpillar. You know, having that painful process, like watch and learn about how painful that process is before.

• 35:11Speaker 04

  Chrysalis and the butterfly comes out. So. You have to go through it. There's only one way. You can't skirt the pain. Unless you anesthetize, which means you're never going to get to the other side. So you have to just know that you're going through this for a reason. And it's going to suck and you have to be patient with. Where you're being pushed to, where you're being redirected to, like. I don't know a lot because we haven't caught up, but I know a lot of stuff's happened to you. And I know it's because you're being redirected, but you can alpha your way out. And push and say, no, this is me. This is what I'm going to do. Or you can accept and say.

• 35:55Speaker 04

  Okay, God, like what, what's, where, where are you pushing me to? Oh, do you care so much about me being here that I need to realize I'm pushing too hard? I'm doing too much. I need to take a step back. Maybe that's the message. I don't know, but that's how my head will kind of run through things. And trust me, there's so much people don't know. And so much excruciating pain of in like other arenas and things that have gone on in my life that I have had a white knuckle. And, and just go through that suffering, but I'm doing it with the people that I love. That are guiding me and helping me. And I'll ask, you know, this one woman I worked with was like.

• 36:36Speaker 04

  Ask God to continue surrounding you with a force field of angels to protect your light, your clarity, your heart and your soul. And I would like see this around me and it would give me so much confidence. And I was like, okay. I, I can actually see it. I can feel it. I'm good. I'm good. And then, you know, I get knocked off and then I'd be like, God, please, where are the angels? Where are the angels? Bring them back. But you need these practices and you need to know that you are loved. And that's why is happening. But if you don't think about it like this and you don't allow it. You're gonna miss the gift. The pancreas cancer, the diabetes, which by the way, I almost died two weeks, three weeks ago in my sleep.

• 37:22Speaker 04

  I was having the worst time with this. It's all for a reason. It's all for a reason. And I've watched that pattern in my life and I see it and I see getting to the other side.

• 37:36Speaker 03

  I see you. You're a lot. You're obviously always been like this since I've known you, but you're, there's a, there, this is an upgraded version here. And one of my conclusions is that you've allowed yourself to have some rest, which has given you some space and some perspective. And I'm just wondering, I think there's a lot of people listening to this or watching it like, yeah, I'm going to get around to doing all that meditation stuff where I'm self-loving and all that. How does someone who's an achiever, give themselves permission to rest? Because that's really what you've done a little bit. If I'm being honest, part of what I've watched you do is rest. You ran full speed to the top of an industry, over and over and over, and then you stayed there and then you switched, then you started a company and then the thing with your, you know, the podcast studio in LA that I know about, other people don't know, all the stuff, right?

• 38:21Speaker 03

  Like, all the stuff. You finally said, I gotta rest, at least some. What would you say to somebody who their intuition, their discernment's like, I, I have to rest a little bit, but they're resistant to doing it because they think they're going to lose all their momentum or lose everything they've acquired?

• 38:37Speaker 04

  Well, I think I was afraid. I was actually afraid even like a year ago that I wasn't going to have enough in the tank anymore, like that I, I lost that fire and I lost that Maria. And what's funny is I've been giving birth to things and even like independently of Kevin where he's like, Maria, you're doing all this by yourself. I'm like, because I need to do it for me. I can't do it with you all the time. Like I, the 19-year-old Maria that met you was like self-starter doing all my things and then you came in and helped and put the fire on things and whatever, but I needed to do stuff for myself and that's how I got my fire back.

• 39:19Speaker 04

  Um, I got a good team that's really supportive. I wasn't feeling supported sometimes in like different situations with different teams. So I finally have a great team that's been growing with me slowly since my mom died. And I'm doing what lights me up. The retreats I'm doing light me up. The podcast, um, generally speaking will light me up once I get into that conversation with somebody. Um, and, and I think that when you are looking at your life and if you are burnt out, you're just gonna get worse and worse and worse and worse and you're gonna get sick. And you will be forced to take a break and it will be harder that way.

• 40:04Speaker 04

  So, we also need to redefine success sometimes. Because what is success to you now? For me, I had to redefine success and all this and be like, I don't need to be a workaholic like these people because these people are burning out and getting so sick and so am I. I'm changing everything. No, I don't want that. I can be okay with less. And I'm gonna be okay with less and it might be a pare down to pare up someday, or it might be pare down, stay down, keep it simple.

• 40:37Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 40:37Speaker 04

  I want freedom, Ed. I want my freedom more than I want anything else. And I want my freedom to have those mornings. I want my freedom to be able to like, say, you know what, I'm, my, my days are like, what am I planning with Athena this weekend? Non-negotiables. We're going to the pumpkin fest. We're doing all this stuff. I want my memories with her. So, I pare down. Less.

• 41:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, you, the, the, it's a huge thing. It's, it's, um, I want to stay on this, the less thing for a second, which is probably going to surprise people that both you and I are contemplating and discussing this topic because we're both in the self-improvement world. We've both achieved, you know, if, we've just, we've been fortunate that we've achieved things that a lot of people, that's their goals, is to do those things. And it's wonderful to achieve and it's awesome to accomplish something that was a dream of yours and make it happen. And I highly endorse it. I really do. Finding out what you're capable of in life is freaking awesome.

• 41:37Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 41:38Speaker 03

  But one thing that's never taught anywhere is this lesson, and I want you to speak to it, please. And I've been talking about it a little bit lately. As you're climbing the ladder of life, in the very beginning, we're from the same place, her and I, and you don't know it because we both lost our accents unless we go back for like a day or two. But, but we both come from not a lot in that sense and we've climbed in our life. And, um, I wish at some point somebody would have grabbed me along the climb and said, hey, where you're at right now, the trade-off for that next rung is totally worth the sacrifice. And the next rung is totally worth the sacrifice. However, there will be a point on this ladder climb of life

• 42:21Speaker 03

  where you should really begin to evaluate what you're trading for one more rung, what you're giving up. Now, for all of us, that position is different. But if you were to listen to all the self-help gurus out there, personal development, the business, the bro culture, all that stuff, you would swear the job is to climb all the way to the end of your life and just keep climbing. Nobody tells you, and you and I are both qualified to share with everyone, there is a point where you should be evaluating what you're trading for that next rung. And we both eventually, frankly, both privately, made, drew the conclusion that maybe the next rung isn't worth what I would have to sacrifice or give up to get there. Would you agree with that?

• 43:05Speaker 04

  I love that. I think of it like a ski slopes in a sense, like, is that double black diamond worth it? I mean, I a hundred percent agree because life is meant to be enjoyed. Life is meant to be lived.

• 43:20Speaker 03

  We forget it.

• 43:21Speaker 04

  And we forget it. And I just watched a lot of people. I've been somebody who's always like watched my elders and hung out with older people. And I didn't want to make the mistakes. I was like, let me learn them from you so I don't have to do them. But I started looking at things when I was stopped. And I'm like, that's not worth it to me. I don't want that life. I don't, and by the way, I, I don't even have employees. I got rid of employees so long ago, Ed. I have a team that's outsourced that manage, I have an amazing girl, Priscilla. She manages the team. It works amazing. I don't have to lead anybody. I don't have to manage everybody. I get to just enjoy it and work with them in a great capacity. I have simplified my life so much.

• 44:06Speaker 04

  And what's funny is I've been sharing this with people for a long time and one of my billionaire friends, maybe a year ago was like, you are right. I'm selling everything. I go, what are you talking about? She's like, I have a, uh, the penthouse thing with a Waldorf. I've got this place over here. I got that. It's too much. It's too much. And you know this, like, everybody's got the house here, the house there, whatever. It's too much. Let's flow, flow, flow, flow. And yes, you have to look at, do, when you want to be like somebody, you really gotta look at, and most people don't get the perspective we get because we get to know people more intimately.

• 44:48Speaker 04

  And we get to see them falling apart behind the scenes. Everyone can put a smile on. I put a smile on, even if I'm dying. I look back at pictures. I'm at an event three days after I found out I'm probably gonna die. And I'm smiling and I look great. And I was hosting the Fast and Furious trailer launch and Vin Diesel looks at me and we've been very close friends for years. And he goes, you have never looked more amazing. Like, I want to be dad next week.

• 45:15Speaker 03

  Oh my.

• 45:15Speaker 04

  And he had no idea because I hadn't shared it with him yet and I wasn't going to share it at that time because he was in the middle of this huge launch. But, yeah, I, I am very, very clear on what's worth it to me.

• 45:29Speaker 03

  Yeah. And everybody should be. And by the way, those of you there starting a career, if you're listening, you can negotiate that price now. You could say, I'm willing to sacrifice X, Y, and Z to get here, but past that, I'm not. I'm not willing to sacrifice my health or my relationships or who I am today. Some of you say, I want to be the new me. But all of that self-awareness, self-auditing is, is, um, such an important part of life at any given stage. And what you said earlier is, like, is, am I quitting this because it's hard or that it's not my soul's calling anymore? And be honest about it. I've quit things before in my life. I regret because they were hard. And I was failing and I wish I would have persevered through it. Having said that, I've also pursued things

• 46:10Speaker 03

  that I knew at some point weren't my calling, weren't what my soul should be doing. And I did them because other people thought I should, or at some previous point in my life that was important to me and it no longer was.

• 46:21Speaker 04

  Yes. Yes. It's so easy to get wrapped up in the, oh my gosh, well, this is glamorous and my younger self would have like died to do this. And, yeah, it's, it's a really hard thing. Um, but you, you have to like get comfortable with what your version of success is and what.

• 46:44Speaker 03

  I think, don't you think that's real confidence?

• 46:47Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm. Yeah. And by the way, for the young people who are listening, go crush, go work your butt off, build. And when you do get to our place and, and we're in different places, but similar in a, in the, in the theme of what we want.

• 47:01Speaker 04

  I, I went to New York for a couple of hours yesterday. And because I've already built who I am, my reputation, my relationships. There were three amazing opportunities that just came to me because I was just in proximity to people. And to get me off the farm is so hard sometimes because I'm like, I don't want to go anywhere. This is awesome. And then when I get there, I'm like, oh, I'm alive. I'm a human again. They're people. This is so cool. And you just be you, but when you are in flow, people want to be with you. They want to work with you. It's an attractive thing. So you're gonna get everything you want if you just don't act desperate all the time. You don't have to do everything.

• 47:43Speaker 03

  Wow. Huge point right there. I, it's, I almost feel like you and I are just having a conversation as friends and now like, you know, a million people are listening in or whatever, because that is a huge lesson. Is that when you are desperate and needy, it, it repels it coming your way. And when you're in flow and you believe you deserve something or want it or whatever, but you're not needy for it. You don't need something that's attractive. That's magnetism. That's

• 48:16Speaker 04

  And you can think that in a sense too.

• 48:19Speaker 03

  What do you mean?

• 48:20Speaker 04

  Even, well, because even if you do need it, right? I'll give you a great example, and I loved, you had a post recently where you were honest about something that went bad and like your business or something. It's so great to share like real life examples, right? Because you could be like, wow, she's so pie in the sky. She's so positive. No, I, I have my moments too, but I've trained myself over the years and I've gotten better and better at this. So I don't know, a couple of months ago, my biggest sponsor on my show left. Um, I had worked with Macy's for, I don't know, six years, top performing podcast currently and for the six years. Like I have out crushed everybody. But new team came in and you know what happens when new teams come in, they come in with their own ideas.

• 49:04Speaker 04

  And so they wanted to take bigger swings at bigger podcasts instead of like the end. And it was really, they didn't want to be in health and wellness. They were like, why are we in health and wellness? This kind of didn't make any sense, but I, I performed for them. So anyway, they left. That was my biggest sponsor. That's how I feed my family. And I was like, oh, this is scary. And then I was like, hmm, okay. Well, how could this be working for me and not to me? I was like, well, because I used to have them, I had to do more shows to fill orders. I can pare this down. Whoa, wait, I can reimagine this show. Oh, this is exciting. I can do different stuff. Oh, okay. Still scary.

• 49:49Speaker 04

  But let me see how I can do this now in a different way. Maybe this is a gift. Maybe this is a transformative point for the show where we pare down and we're going to build back up. Okay. So I started like changing things and I haven't even put all of the changes in and we've already quadrupled our YouTube views in one month. And things are fast, fast, fast happening. And I was like, okay, I'm not going to worry because if I look at the pattern of my life, it's always worked out. I'm, I'm, I have to listen to the patterns and the patterns have been God's always provided. I'm a hard worker. I'm going to figure it out. And maybe this is the fire that I need to lit under my ass to work a little harder.

• 50:32Speaker 04

  And now, yes, I'm going to have to like protect my times with Athena, but I might have to push a little harder. And then what happened? I made my journal and I put this event together and it was life changing for these people. And it's going to be when people get this, this is going to be the most life changing book. And, and it was a download that came to me. And so I'm still in the throes of it. I have to sell my house in LA because I gotta get out of that crazy place. But then I'm looking at it and I'm like, all right, well, where am I going to go? Well, maybe I'm going to stay here. Oh my gosh, oh my God, I gotta, I gotta get that off my list. That's a lot of money. I'm not even there. I gotta get that off my, but then I was like, and, and the, the market's terrible there. I'm thinking about all the bad things. The market's terrible and this house is worth so much.

• 51:17Speaker 04

  I'm giving it away for nothing. And then I'm like, Maria, every real estate deal you've ever made has been bigger than they ever thought. So why aren't we going to wonder about the amazing buyer that's going to come in and see it for the value that you see it? And that it's going to work out exactly in the timing it's supposed to work out in?

• 51:39Speaker 03

  That was tremendous.

• 51:41Speaker 04

  And that's what I think. That's how my head goes. And I'm still scared sometimes, but I'll catch it and I'll replace it. And then maybe it'll, it'll get stuck in the mid for a minute. But that's the process.

• 51:55Speaker 03

  I wonder, I wonder, I wonder. It's one of my huge takeaways from today. By the way, that was tremendous. That was one of the, those are your good stuff right there, girl. That was really, really, really

• 52:03Speaker 04

  It's real. And I told my team, I remember the next day, I said, guys, I'm going to tell you right now, I am scared, but I see this as an opportunity and let's focus on that and how we can make changes that will make this better now that we don't have to do what we used to have to do. And I did it in real time, like through like a, a, a small little shed of tear, but at the same time I like bit my limb, like we got this, we're going to be good.

• 52:28Speaker 03

  So good. Great advice for anybody right now going through anything. I feel like every time you and I talk, it like, it like, we're already, I'm out of time. It's so bizarre. I feel like it's been 20 minutes. I want to ask you, I had a dream the other night and it actually made me think about you with your mom. And so I'll tell you the dream and then I'll just ask you whatever your thoughts are on it. So I've had this dream twice since my dad passed away.

• 52:53Speaker 03

  Somehow I turn around, I'm in this room and it's my dad and he's walking towards me. My dad had this particular walk where they kept his hands behind his back. It was just, it's, I knew, he was far away. But I knew the walk. And so he ends up getting closer and closer and closer. And sure enough, it's, it's my dad. And he looks at me and he goes, he goes, hey kiddo, they gave me a day back with you.

• 53:20Speaker 03

  What do you want to do?

• 53:23Speaker 03

  And it makes me emotional and I kept waking up at that point in the dream and then I'd go back in. I don't know if you ever had this before.

• 53:31Speaker 04

  Yep. And the dream started Go back in, please bring me back.

• 53:34Speaker 03

  I want to go back. I want to tell dad and, and I went him into it and I think I had it three times in about an eight hour sleep window. But every time when I went to say dad, I didn't get a chance to say it to him. And so I've thought a lot about what I would say, what we'd talk about, what I'd, what I would tell him. And I was fortunate and you were as well. We both kind of knew we were losing our parents. So I said a lot of things to my dad already that I had wanted to say, and I imagine you did that with your mom. But I'm just curious, it, it's just a life perspective question. If you had the blessing of being able to have, and you know, you'll have it again someday in heaven, but just for now, you had a chance for mom to be in your life now with Athena

• 54:17Speaker 03

  there and all the things you've learned and you've been through. What would you say to her if she said, what do you want to do? What do you want to talk about for the day? What would your answer be?

• 54:25Speaker 04

  Oh my God. First of all, I think I would like never let her go. I would hug her so freaking tight and be like, I should have hugged you more.

• 54:36Speaker 04

  I, I think one of the biggest things would be

• 54:41Speaker 04

  kind of getting to know her more for who she was outside of being my mom. Because it wasn't until she died and I looked at pictures that I hadn't seen of her as like a teenager, where I was like, oh my God, you were a human before this. Before you were my mom's dad, my, my dad's wife, before you were my mom. This is why I think this is so important.

• 55:06Speaker 04

  She was a person and we didn't look at her like that.

• 55:11Speaker 04

  And so I would be like, let's go do something you used to love when you were young.

• 55:18Speaker 04

  And that's what I would want to do. I would want to like meet her there. And then of course I would just want to like go do fun things with her and Athena. Like, you know, multi generational fun things that would be, yeah, I would just get her strawberry ice cream that she loved. I make Athena, you know, a strawberry blended yogurt and I call the strawberry ice cream. She's like, can I have strawberry? Cause she has a Greek accent, ax, um, ice cream mommy like Yaya Lisa likes. Like, yes, Athena, of course.

• 55:52Speaker 03

  I love that answer. It's so ironic because uh, I've been thinking a lot about that with my dad and why, why this is such a powerful way to finish? I thought the same thing. I've seen some pictures of my dad. Well, my dad was actually a young teenager at one point with dreams and hopes and thoughts. And he was probably pretty cool, you know? And what was he like then? And, and it might be a great lesson for all of you, like the people around you. They play a role in your life, even your children, they play a role in the family. You know, see them more as an individual, as a human, like what are their, what do they love? What are their dreams? What's their story? And slow down. That's a way of being more present. And if you're fortunate enough that your parents are still here, if you're listening to this, take that time and take the advice. We were both really good to our parents.

• 56:37Speaker 03

  Neither one of us have regrets, Maria or I, about how we treated our parents. But for a lot of you, you're blessed that you do get one more day.

• 56:45Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 56:46Speaker 03

  You ought to, you ought to put your phone down, everybody and be fully present. That's what you ought to be doing because when they're gone, they're gone. You'll see them again, but they're gone. And it leaves such a void. So I am uh, really glad you're in my life and it sucks the last few years that we've just not, we, we gotta work harder at this friendship than we have, at least I do. So

• 57:06Speaker 04

  I would love that.

• 57:07Speaker 03

  I want to spend more time with you and um, tell Kev I said hello, by the way, too. And I love you and I'm going to see you soon. Thank you for today. All right, everybody. God bless you, everyone. Max out.

• 57:20Speaker 02

  This is the Ed and Myron Show.

• 57:28Speaker 00

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