Reprogram Your Mind to Create Your Desired future! Feat. Dave Meltzer

Reprogram Your Mind for Success with this FLASHBACK MASHUP episode featuring insights from David Meltzer, Dr Joe Dispenza, Jamie Kern Lima and Me! Dive deep with us this week as we explore transformative strategies to help you rewire your thoughts and supercharge your path to personal and professional success. Here’s what you’ll discover: Master your mindset and learn techniques to convert obstacles into opportunities and dreams into realities Uncover the strategies to programming your subconscious mind to align with your greatest ambitions, making success not just a goal but an inevitable outcome Gain insights into raising your emotional intelligence Learn how to implement sustainable Success Habits that maintain mental clarity and focus, driving continuous growth By the end of this episode, you’ll be equipped with the tools to start reprogramming your mind to align with your highest aspirations. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Ed Mylett?

  I hear so many small business owners say the exact same thing. They just never have enough time in the day. Well, I measure time differently. I've compressed, condensed, heck, I've bent time. My first day is 6:00 a.m. to noon. My second day starts at noon and goes till 6:00 p.m. And my third day, 6:00 p.m. to midnight. I now get 21 days a week. Stack that up over a month, over a year, over five years, and my life's completely different than it would have been otherwise. And if you want to win as an entrepreneur, you have to compress your time too. And you definitely can't afford to waste it. Waiting weeks on a big bank for capital? Your best bet's to work with my friends at Cardiff. They know how to compress time for entrepreneurs. They get your business approved in minutes and funded the very same day. They're America's favorite small business lender, and for good reason.

• 0:45Ed Mylett?

  Over 20 years in business, over 12 billion deployed to small business across America. Stop letting bank delays slow down your momentum. Head to cardiff.co/ed. That's cardiff.co/ed. Cardiff.co. Real growth, fast funding. Cardiff, borrow better. So, hey, guys, are you frustrated with where you're at right now? Maybe stunted in your progress? Well, if you are, I want to recommend a place for you to go called Growth Day. GrowthDay.com/ed. It is the number one personal development app on the planet. It's got all kinds of high-performance techniques in there. Courses, accountability, journaling, live speeches from some of the top influencers in the world, including me. It's an overall environment to change your life. GrowthDay.com/ed.

• 1:34David Meltzer?

  This is the Ed Meyer Show.

• 1:37Ed Mylett?

  You end up doing really well right out of college, right?

• 1:40David Meltzer?

  At law school.

• 1:41Ed Mylett?

  At a law school. So you went to Tulane Law School.

• 1:43David Meltzer?

  Yes, sir.

• 1:44Ed Mylett?

  And you graduate there. And within nine months, tell them what happens to you. Because I want you all to hear the ups and downs of real-life business and real life from one of the most successful people in the country. So what happens at a law school?

• 1:54David Meltzer?

  So out of law school, I have two choices for jobs. And it's a recession. One was to be a real lawyer, oil and gas litigator. You know, big money. All I wanted to do is be rich is why I went to law school. And then the second was to work in the internet. And I got offered a job. Sell legal research online by West Publishing.

• 2:13Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 2:13David Meltzer?

  Big, big legal publisher. And so I go to my mom, because you'll appreciate this. I go to my mom, hey, what should I do, mom? My big advisor, you know, I grew up with a single mom, six kids. And she, without blinking, is like, you need to be a real lawyer. Because this internet thing is a fad. So she calls the internet a fad. And I always say, because I like to teach lessons. Biggest lesson of my life was just because somebody loves you, doesn't mean they give you good advice. And I see so many people, entrepreneurs, in relationships. They ask for advice for people that don't know anything. My mom was a second grade teacher.

• 2:46Ed Mylett?

  Right.

• 2:46David Meltzer?

  What does she know about?

• 2:47Ed Mylett?

  Beautiful soul, but not a technology expert.

• 2:49David Meltzer?

  No, and if I would have followed, it would, I think, slowed down, or, you know, at least not allowed me to have the acceleration I had. So I took the technology job.

• 2:59Ed Mylett?

  Right.

• 3:00David Meltzer?

  You know, single, money hungry, in a sales job in the internet.

• 3:03Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 3:04David Meltzer?

  And I made a fortune. Nine months into it, I had three goals when I went to law school. If I could only pay back my law loans.

• 3:11Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 3:11David Meltzer?

  Buy my mom a home.

• 3:12Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 3:13David Meltzer?

  And buy my mom a car.

• 3:14Ed Mylett?

  So mom, even though she gave you the advice the other way, was the driving force behind most of the beginning of it.

• 3:18David Meltzer?

  Oh, I choke up still. I got mommy issues. And I was so proud of myself, because I still had a little bit left over.

• 3:24Ed Mylett?

  You do.

• 3:25David Meltzer?

  Oh, you'll see.

• 3:25Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 3:27David Meltzer?

  But I bought myself a big screen TV.

• 3:30Ed Mylett?

  That was a big thing you did for you.

• 3:31David Meltzer?

  And nine months.

• 3:32Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 3:32David Meltzer?

  And I saved every penny. I had a $25 per diem. I bought peanut butter and jelly to take on the road with me, so I could get the extra $175 a week.

• 3:42Ed Mylett?

  As you're accumulating a million dollars in savings over that time. Did you save a million bucks the first time?

• 3:46David Meltzer?

  Oh, I saved more. I saved almost every penny, because the company, I traveled so much. I got it for a car, house, everything they paid for. I was in hotel rooms. I had corporate suites in Indiana.

• 3:57Ed Mylett?

  Wow.

• 3:58David Meltzer?

  And so it was a perfect job for me, because it was a full expense account. My laundry was paid for.

• 4:02Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 4:02David Meltzer?

  My food.

• 4:03Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 4:03David Meltzer?

  And I still, I wore, for three years, embarrassing enough, I wore the same pair of socks. Not because I couldn't afford new ones. But I, somehow, in my sports mind, I thought they were lucky.

• 4:15Ed Mylett?

  Your lucky socks.

• 4:16David Meltzer?

  And I was like in the East Coast, and my shoe had a hole in the bottom. This sock and I finally and I was a very wealthy young man. Yeah, right. More than a million dollars.

• 4:26Ed Mylett?

  Okay, okay.

• 4:27David Meltzer?

  And I'm wearing holes in my sock and shoes in the snow.

• 4:30Ed Mylett?

  That's a trip. I think I, by the way, had the hole in the shoe thing going. I did the same thing. I saved every dollar. Mine didn't replace my shoes, not because they were lucky. I was being cheap. I was trying to save every buck. But I gotta tell you, this is lesson one, just to start the interview. There's more dreams stolen from people who love you than by people who don't love you. Just the advice we take or the people that talk us out of it, because we take advice from people we love in areas where they're not competent, right?

• 4:51David Meltzer?

  Exactly.

• 4:52Ed Mylett?

  I'd take advice from your mom on how to love somebody. That'd be great advice, right?

• 4:55David Meltzer?

  Yeah, how to teach and motivate a young man, right?

• 4:57Ed Mylett?

  So be very careful. Just because you love them or they love you of thinking they have some expertise in an area that you don't, right? They probably don't. And so oftentimes, we take advice from the wrong person, derails our dreams. So that's lesson one.

• 5:09David Meltzer?

  One more thing, too.

• 5:10Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 5:10David Meltzer?

  We end up resenting them, which is worse. So all the people that love us both.

• 5:14Ed Mylett?

  That's good.

• 5:14David Meltzer?

  We end up resenting them because they gave us bad advice. And meanwhile, we should be accountable because we asked the secondary teacher for internet advice.

• 5:21Ed Mylett?

  Hmm.

• 5:22David Meltzer?

  It's, and that's the worst part.

• 5:23Ed Mylett?

  That's really true. So what happens after that? You do really well, so you've become more of an millionaire, a multimillionaire early in life.

• 5:30David Meltzer?

  Branded myself in technology.

• 5:31Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 5:32David Meltzer?

  Which I thought was a brave maneuver because I was so insecure about people knowing I was still a lawyer. My mom made me take the bar, for example.

• 5:39Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 5:39David Meltzer?

  She didn't think the internet was gonna last, so I took the bar, I passed it, and I kept the ESQ on my business cards all the time. And people was like, "Oh, you're a lawyer?" And I still had this ego. Meanwhile, I was making so much more than all my lawyer friends.

• 5:52Ed Mylett?

  Wow.

• 5:53David Meltzer?

  And so I had to let that go. And one of the biggest transitions was the first time I found my own frequency. I started branding myself as an internet guru.

• 6:01Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 6:01David Meltzer?

  Right? And so we ended up selling West Publishing for 3.4 billion dollars to Thomson Reuters. And I was smart enough at that time. I heavily branded myself as the guy in the internet.

• 6:12Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 6:12David Meltzer?

  So they paid me a ton to stay on. I had some stock.

• 6:15Ed Mylett?

  Wow.

• 6:16David Meltzer?

  And so I stayed on to Thomson Reuters.

• 6:17Ed Mylett?

  How old are you right about that?

• 6:18David Meltzer?

  Uh, 27.

• 6:19Ed Mylett?

  That's incredible.

• 6:20David Meltzer?

  Yeah, so I was the youngest executive at Thomson Reuters.

• 6:22Ed Mylett?

  Wow.

• 6:23David Meltzer?

  Then the internet boom really happened. We got into the late, mid to late 90s now. And the internet boom happens. Essenture, which was Anderson Consulting, did a merger.

• 6:32Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 6:32David Meltzer?

  So they hired me to run a Silicon Valley as a director for every path. A wireless proxy server company. Transcoding internet onto WAP phones.

• 6:41Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 6:41David Meltzer?

  And now I just became a Silicon Valley kid in my twenties, but I really was hungry to learn how the money worked. So I was the front guy. I'd go into HP Ventures, Amerindo, Texas Pacific Group, Sequoia.

• 6:55Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 6:55David Meltzer?

  And I'd build these relationships. I'm real good at quickly getting to somebody.

• 6:59Ed Mylett?

  You connect.

• 6:59David Meltzer?

  Yeah.

• 7:00Ed Mylett?

  You're connected.

• 7:00David Meltzer?

  And I learned that money side of it.

• 7:02Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 7:02David Meltzer?

  And getting those relationships was really key because Samsung wanted to get in the phone division.

• 7:08Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 7:08David Meltzer?

  And they ended up, it was chic to have a young CEO.

• 7:11Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 7:12David Meltzer?

  And I was good at raising money.

• 7:13Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 7:14David Meltzer?

  And they put me in this position. We had the world's first smartphone.

• 7:17Ed Mylett?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 7:18David Meltzer?

  Yeah.

• 7:19Ed Mylett?

  Are you catching this, everybody? Is involved in the world's smart?

• 7:22David Meltzer?

  I'm like Forrest Gump of business.

• 7:23Ed Mylett?

  You are. Well, you manifested a lot of this stuff, right? I mean, that's unreal.

• 7:27David Meltzer?

  Subconsciously.

• 7:28Ed Mylett?

  Unbelievable. Did you have the, um, did you have this energy then? Or, so I know you're, you say you're a little bit more ego-driven then, though, right?

• 7:34David Meltzer?

  Yeah, so I had a very high energy.

• 7:36Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 7:36David Meltzer?

  Uh, you know, just born, born that way. I didn't sleep a lot.

• 7:39Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 7:39David Meltzer?

  Hyperactive, but I was always in my own way. What was told to me was I carried an energy of being stupid. Now, I need to explain that to people. That you can think and say and do certain things and believe certain things, but if you carry an energy that's different, it doesn't matter what you're trying to manifest. And let me give you an example. There's a lot of people that date the same person again and again and again, or they have the same business problem again and again and again.

• 8:05Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 8:06David Meltzer?

  Same obstacles.

• 8:07Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 8:07David Meltzer?

  No matter what they do, you seem to, what, why, why is this always happening to me?

• 8:11Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 8:11David Meltzer?

  It's because you carry an energy.

• 8:13Ed Mylett?

  I agree with that.

• 8:13David Meltzer?

  So what I analyzed, and you know, I went to India and kind of learned this stuff about myself, is number one, my siblings were all hyper-intelligent students. They all went to the Ivy Leagues. So I kind of had a chip on my shoulder that I didn't go to Harvard, Penn or Columbia.

• 8:27Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 8:27David Meltzer?

  My siblings were much more academic.

• 8:29Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 8:29David Meltzer?

  So I had that going. Then when I was little, I was hyper, and they were good students. My grandma, who my mom was a teacher, would take us after school, was this wise old kind of Yoda-type of character. And she would always say to me, I go, Grandma, I'm bored.

• 8:43Ed Mylett?

  You're bored.

• 8:43David Meltzer?

  I don't want to study.

• 8:44Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 8:45David Meltzer?

  She goes, only stupid people get bored. Smart people think things to do. Well, this changed my cellular memory.

• 8:52Ed Mylett?

  That's right.

• 8:52David Meltzer?

  My neural pathways and into my code.

• 8:54Ed Mylett?

  That's right.

• 8:55David Meltzer?

  My DNA, so my energy shifted. What did that mean, though? That means I projected my insecurity about being stupid.

• 9:00Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 9:01David Meltzer?

  Made me an ego driven guy.

• 9:03Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 9:04David Meltzer?

  Who then surrounded himself with the wrong people.

• 9:07Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 9:07David Meltzer?

  I used to be the smartest, I made sure I was the smartest guy in the room.

• 9:10Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 9:11David Meltzer?

  Now, if I'm the smartest guy in the room, I'm in the wrong room.

• 9:13Ed Mylett?

  You're in the wrong room. So if you, I'm curious, because I 100% acknowledge, agree with all of that. You said you were really money motivated young, right? Was that because you grew up with none of it? I'm just curious, would you grow up poor?

• 9:23David Meltzer?

  It would make you cry, man.

• 9:24Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 9:25David Meltzer?

  So I think we're similar. I grew up with a single mom and six kids, five boys and a girl.

• 9:29Ed Mylett?

  So your mother raised six kids, most of which go to the Ivy League and the other one turns out to be you.

• 9:33David Meltzer?

  All went to Ivy League.

• 9:34Ed Mylett?

  And then you turn out to be this unbelievable business story.

• 9:37David Meltzer?

  We all got scholarships to college.

• 9:38Ed Mylett?

  Unreal.

• 9:38David Meltzer?

  Yeah, she was an amazing catalyst and, but what, for the time I remember, my parents got divorced. I grew up happy, though. My mom created this great happy environment, but when I wasn't happy, it's because I'd catch her. I'm gonna choke up.

• 9:52Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 9:53David Meltzer?

  The car would break down. I see her crying. Like honestly, or the dishwasher would break, or we couldn't go to summer camp. I remember one time I really wanted to go to baseball camp.

• 10:02Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 10:03David Meltzer?

  And I leave and I turn around and say something and I saw my mom crying.

• 10:07Ed Mylett?

  Oh, boy.

• 10:07David Meltzer?

  So I said to myself, oh, if I could be rich, I could buy my mom a house, buy my mom a car, give her enough money so that she has all these options, then she would be happy.

• 10:18Ed Mylett?

  Wow. And 40 something years later, it still impacts you right now, brother.

• 10:23David Meltzer?

  Oh, I work through that all the time.

• 10:24Ed Mylett?

  That's amazing, man.

• 10:25David Meltzer?

  Yeah.

• 10:26Ed Mylett?

  That's, that's, wow.

• 10:27David Meltzer?

  And it hurt me too, because I created this weird relationship with my mom when I had a lot of money because I felt so responsible for her. And I enabled my own mom.

• 10:36Ed Mylett?

  Okay, I can see that.

• 10:37David Meltzer?

  You know, I bought her a house, I bought her a car. And constantly our relationship became about what she could.

• 10:42Ed Mylett?

  Do for you, what you could do for her, rather.

• 10:44David Meltzer?

  Yeah. And we shifted that, but it's an extraordinary thing. I have some energy healers and. Things that I know, cool people, but I go, someone should come up with their business, some of these energy healers. And just say, I specialize in mommy issues.

• 10:57Ed Mylett?

  So you end up becoming part of the first flipping smartphone on top of the first business venture. So then, how do you end up going from all of that into, you get into the real estate business? You get into, somehow you end up in the sports agent business or marketing business too, right?

• 11:11David Meltzer?

  Yeah, so I've always believed in overlap or vertebrae approach to life. That you have, legs feed the lion, so make sure what you do well and you make your money out of, you take care of. And then see what else you can do, vertebrae-ing off from that. So, real estate was something because I had extra cash. Then I came up with this philosophy of buying one property a year, 15-year mortgages. After 15 years, in the 16th year, I'd refinance it tax-free for about 200 grand each.

• 11:37Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 11:37David Meltzer?

  So I'd always, you know, so I was so young, by the time I was 40, I was guaranteed 200 grand or more tax-free.

• 11:43Ed Mylett?

  Can I just interject? I almost did the identical thing. It's like our generation, it was on all the infomercials, so that's what I learned to do, right? That was the whole process, so keep going, but I did the same exact thing.

• 11:52David Meltzer?

  Well, what happened was I was so successful at real estate, even when I was working in technology and, you know, at Samsung, that my properties, you know, here in California, shot up.

• 12:02Ed Mylett?

  Right.

• 12:02David Meltzer?

  So I started learning about refinancing and leveraging.

• 12:05Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 12:06David Meltzer?

  So, I was leveraging into some really cool, I had a ski mountain, put 12 million into a golf course and it ended up being, we got Samsung to need to design it, ended up being the number one new course, eighth best in the nation.

• 12:17Ed Mylett?

  With the real estate development all around it too, right?

• 12:19David Meltzer?

  2,500 acres.

• 12:20Ed Mylett?

  Right.

• 12:21David Meltzer?

  I was crazy.

• 12:22Ed Mylett?

  That's awesome.

• 12:22David Meltzer?

  Well, anyway, by the time Samsung outgrew me, I used to tell people, my ego, I used to say, I semi-retired, I left.

• 12:30Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 12:30David Meltzer?

  No, they kicked my ass out. Clearly, now that I'm old enough, remember, hey man, you about kicked your coverage, here's some money and leave. I do have one more piece of advice, if anyone ever pays you to leave, take the money and leave.

• 12:43Ed Mylett?

  Leave, I agree with that advice.

• 12:45David Meltzer?

  Someone's gonna pay you to leave, beats them kicking you out with no money.

• 12:47Ed Mylett?

  That's 100% right, I agree with that.

• 12:49David Meltzer?

  And so, I dabbled in some stocks and technology, but I, you know, it took a lot of my time.

• 12:55Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 12:55David Meltzer?

  And I, I was on this road, I had so much money. I was married, I married my childhood sweetheart.

• 13:03Ed Mylett?

  That's right.

• 13:04David Meltzer?

  And I had three daughters, young girls, and we lived in Manchester, Santa Fe.

• 13:08Ed Mylett?

  Yep, beautiful area by the way, beautiful area.

• 13:10David Meltzer?

  Great place, and I started to self-loathe, like I was, we built that house, I remember the first night I lied there. You may have this feeling, I just, I'm sensing it.

• 13:19Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 13:19David Meltzer?

  When you build something like this, I lied there in the bed, coming from nothing.

• 13:23Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 13:24David Meltzer?

  And for the first time in my life, I wasn't happy.

• 13:26Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 13:27David Meltzer?

  I was empty.

• 13:27Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 13:28David Meltzer?

  And I started buying.

• 13:29Ed Mylett?

  About 10 minutes before you got here today, isn't this unbelievable, my guys? About 10 minutes before you got here today, I just want you to know this, I had this exact conversation with my camera crew and my, my, my audio partners. This exact conversation, so yes, this is true.

• 13:41David Meltzer?

  It's weird, right, and then I started buying things that didn't make me happy. More things, different things that make me happy.

• 13:47Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 13:48David Meltzer?

  And then I surrounded myself with really bad, wrong people. I started going to places I shouldn't go.

• 13:53Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 13:53David Meltzer?

  I was drinking too much, gabbling and other things I shouldn't be doing. And my wife caught it immediately, she said, "You're not paying attention." And we had a lot of money.

• 14:01Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 14:02David Meltzer?

  And my attitude arrogance was, she was spiritual, you know, she did all kinds of meditation and readings and. I was like, "What do you know, I made all this." Like literally, "What are you complaining about? I have a Ferrari and a Porsche in the garage, you have a, live in nanny, and you don't work."

• 14:17Ed Mylett?

  Right.

• 14:17David Meltzer?

  Right, you should see what my poor mom would do, right, get tears in her eyes.

• 14:20Ed Mylett?

  The two, yep.

• 14:21David Meltzer?

  But sure enough, she came to me, I, I overheard her actually, she could see things dissipate. She said, "I'm scared," to her uncle, who knew me since I was ten, said, "Man, I, I don't think this is gonna last." And I'm terrified, and he said, I loved it, he goes, "You know, everything always goes that kid's way." He goes, "I can't wait to see what happens with his back against the wall."

• 14:43Ed Mylett?

  Really?

• 14:43David Meltzer?

  Yeah. And my wife approached me, said she wasn't happy, told me to take stock in who I was.

• 14:48Ed Mylett?

  Wow.

• 14:48David Meltzer?

  And what I wanted to become. Now, I adored her since I was in the 4th grade. I spent one night thinking about it, and the hardest part for people to understand is, when you have a lot of money, you don't go bankrupt and lose it in one night.

• 15:00Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 15:01David Meltzer?

  It took two years.

• 15:02Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 15:02David Meltzer?

  So for me, the hardest part was, I changed before I started, or actually lost everything.

• 15:08Ed Mylett?

  Gotcha, okay.

• 15:10David Meltzer?

  starting to change. I was in a lawsuit, my ego was in my way. But it was too late and the hardest part was when I actually went bankrupt in 2009.

• 15:18Ed Mylett?

  Okay, you went BK.

• 15:19David Meltzer?

  BK.

• 15:20Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 15:20David Meltzer?

  This, my bad behavior started in 2007.

• 15:23Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 15:23David Meltzer?

  And BK in 2009, I had already met Lee Steinberg, I was running the most notable sports agency. I was meditating every day.

• 15:31Ed Mylett?

  Okay, you had your act together.

• 15:32David Meltzer?

  Yeah, I had my act together. But the weird thing was in that two years, my wife would get more and more scared because I was given control to the universe.

• 15:40Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 15:41David Meltzer?

  Right?

• 15:41Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, right.

• 15:42David Meltzer?

  And here, she was very spiritual.

• 15:43Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 15:44David Meltzer?

  But I tested.

• 15:45Ed Mylett?

  You went to the extreme, exactly, yeah. From not being that way at all prior, right?

• 15:49David Meltzer?

  At all, and I was in control and I think it gave her some security that I always was on top of everything, I was in control.

• 15:55Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 15:55David Meltzer?

  And I'd answer her, she goes, "What are you gonna do?" I go, "It'll unravel."

• 15:58Ed Mylett?

  You just knew.

• 15:59David Meltzer?

  Yeah.

• 16:00Ed Mylett?

  You just knew. If you've listened to this show for a while, you've heard me and my guests talk a lot about how critical it is to have your wellness goals in order, especially lately with me. So you know how powerful visualization is. When you visualize yourself one, 10, 30 years from now, you've achieved all your goals, ask yourself this, "Am I healthy at that point?" In your visions, of course you are, but like anything else, without a plan to get and remain healthy, you can't hit the goal. That's why I'm so thrilled to be partnering with Life Force. It's co-founded by my good friend Tony Robbins and Peter Diamandis. Life Force is a leader in proactive care. The Life Force membership includes everything you need to understand your wellness and help you make good decisions today to keep you on track in the future for your health. Listeners of my show get $250 when they first sign up for their membership by going to mylifeforce.com/ed.

• 16:44Ed Mylett?

  That's mylifeforce.com/ed. Take control of your wellness with Life Force and see what the healthiest version of you actually looks like and is capable of. These products and statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. This episode is sponsored by Ro. A lot of people assume GLP-1's cost a fortune, and that assumption keeps them from even looking into treatment. Ro helps people find a more affordable path to FDA-approved GLP-1 treatment. Ro wants to help people lose weight. That's why they have more affordable GLP-1 options, whether you're paying with insurance or cash. Ro's free insurance checker makes it easy to see if you're covered for GLP-1 injections. Just submit your insurance card and Ro handles the rest.

• 17:28Ed Mylett?

  No paperwork, no waiting on hold, no confusing phone calls. And if insurance doesn't cover treatment, there are still options. Ro offers the lowest-cost cash-pay FDA-approved GLP-1s, such as daily pills and multi-dose pens. I use products by Ro, and you should too. Go to ro.co/mylet to see if you qualify. That's R-O dot C-O slash my let to get started on Ro. For side effects of GLP-1 medications, including boxed warning, go to ro.co/safety. R-O dot C-O slash safety. So when I ended up buying the island, we had to do all of our outdoor decorating, and I spent a fortune in the first half of the place. And I'm like, I don't want to do this anymore, but I want the best stuff. And that's where Wayfair came in. My wife wanted to get this new garden bed,

• 18:13Ed Mylett?

  and Wayfair was the place that offered the perfect solution. Wayfair also helps you create a home that stands up to real life with quality products, great value, and trusted reviews. Wayfair verified products are hand-vetted by product specialists that use a 10-point quality inspection system. Here's all I can tell you. The stuff has lasted over time. It looks great, and I get compliments on it. Shop thousands of products across every style and budget, whether you're trying to refresh your space for fall or transform your space for Halloween. Use filters, custom photos, and reviews to find the right fit for your home. More than 20 million verified 5-star reviews. 20 million. So transform your space with the pieces that hold up to real life. Join Wayfair Rewards today and get 5% back on every purchase. Head to wayfair.com or shop the Wayfair app for all things home.

• 18:57Ed Mylett?

  That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R dot com.

• 19:02Speaker 02

  Wayfair, every style, every home.

• 19:06Speaker 03

  This episode is brought to you by Michelob Ultra. Good times mean competitions between you and your friends. Like seeing who can throw some pigskin the farthest, or rush the field the fastest. Winner gets an ultra. Because it's not just a superior light beer, it's also giving fans superior access to their favorite sporting events. Superior is worth playing for. Visit michelobultra.com/superioraccess to enter. Enjoy responsibly. Copyright 2026 Anheuser Busch InBev Michelob Ultra Beer, St. Louis, Missouri.

• 19:36Ed Mylett?

  Today's question involves winning. And I've been asked, Ed, can you please give us one of the invisible keys to winning that separates the winners from the losers in any endeavor? And so I'm gonna do that today. You know, there's a million keys to winning, but one of the things, I want to take the mystery out of it for you. First thing is, I'm always a little bit concerned. It's trepidatious for me to talk about winning and losing because I know how small the difference between winning and losing is. It's almost too scary to talk about. It's really true. I've watched people get very close to winning, and it's that one little thing they miss, that invisible thing that separates the winners from the losers. It truly is a game of inches and millimeters when it comes to winning in business, winning in sports, winning in life, winning in our body, winning in our emotions. It's the small things I've found.

• 20:21Ed Mylett?

  And I think most people want to believe that there's all of these secrets to winning. Because as long as it's secretive and they don't do it, then they've got an excuse as to why they haven't won. But what if the truth is, there really aren't any secrets? There just really aren't. That we all sort of really know what we need to do to win. But what it comes down to, that little thing, that separator that's too scary to talk about, is our willingness to do those things, and the consistency with which we do them. Here's what I've found. The people that are average and ordinary in most endeavors in life do the things they need to do occasionally. And the people that win and dominate do them every day. They just do it more consistently.

• 21:06Ed Mylett?

  They do the things that the average do once in a while, they do all the time. And that's the separator. It's not, you can't do something when you feel like it. You can't do things on the days that you feel great. The separator isn't who's more motivated, right? Motivation's important, inspiration's important. But the truth is, it's what do you do on the days that you are not motivated? That you are not inspired? Do you have the habits and rituals and disciplines? The guts, the grit, frankly, to step up and do the things that you know you need to do all the time, not some of the time. And when you stack up those all the times, those are the inches that you fight for that separate the greats from the average.

• 21:47Ed Mylett?

  The ones that become the best ever, the goats in their industry, the best moms, the best dads, the multimillionaire entrepreneur, compared to the ones that just do okay. It's interesting, you know, there's a rhythm and a pace to success that I think most people aren't familiar with. But I can promise you right now that if you spend a day with some of the top entrepreneurs in the world, there's a rhythm and a pace that you probably aren't used to. It's faster, it's quicker, they talk faster, they walk faster, they think faster, they make decisions faster. And it's just a hair, like if you watch an average, ordinary entrepreneur, they look like they're working hard, they look like they do things most days, but it's a little slower. The cadence, the rhythm, isn't quite what it is for those that dominate.

• 22:32Ed Mylett?

  I could tell you, there's a rhythm to success. And once you understand that rhythm, which I'm trying to explain to you, it's 15% faster, it's 20% faster, it's not 100 times, they don't do a million things better. They do a few things better and they do those things consistently and they do them faster and more repetitiously. You know, really, the best ability in life is availability. The best ability is availability. It's showing up and doing things consistently on a regular basis that most people just can't have the discipline to do. They get what I call leadership fatigue. Or they get routine fatigue. They just get tired of saying the same things over and over again, of doing the same things over and over again. And that's what discipline is.

• 23:16Ed Mylett?

  Discipline is the ability to do things when you don't feel like it. And when you're tired of doing it, when you're fatigued, when you're bored with doing it. Most winning is not beautiful. It's a grind. And remember this, when you're making history, it very rarely feels like it. It rarely feels like it. What it feels like is work. What it feels like is lonely. What it feels like is you're the only one doing it. And that's because you probably are. But what you need to know is that when you're laying those bricks every day, and the person that you're competing against is laying them every third day, eventually, even if they're better at laying the bricks, even if they have some magic brick, which there's no such thing, eventually, it's the

• 23:58Ed Mylett?

  person who can do it over and over and over again, that separates themselves. And the truth is, why don't people do things consistently? Because it's not sexy. It's not exciting, right? You think about the best, if you had a great mom, right? What does she do? She just shows up quietly every day, and does the things that make a difference that aren't beautiful, but they they matter. If you ever want, like a mom like I had, it was, she was there every morning. She made my lunch every day, on the days when she was sick, and the days when she didn't feel like it. She picked me up every day from school. I never needed to wonder whether mom was gonna

• 24:39Ed Mylett?

  show up to pick me up from school. You all know what I mean, right? Can you imagine if you were raised not knowing whether or not your parent was gonna get you from school, not knowing whether you're gonna have lunch every day? And I know a lot of you had to grow up that way. But the truth is, like, my mom just did the quiet things that great people do. Every single day, she did her homework with me every single day. And I did well in school because of that. Whereas some parents did it only when grades were bad, only when they had to, only when there was a problem, only when they felt like it, only when their schedule permitted it. So my mom was a great mom, and some moms are average moms, right? That's what separates you, is doing those small things every single day.

• 25:21Ed Mylett?

  You know, it's like getting up earlier. In my first book, I talk about, you know, successful people get up earlier. They just simply get up earlier. But how do you get up early? You say, "Ed, I get up at 7 o'clock. I'd really like to get up at 5:30." Well, you don't all of a sudden start getting up at 5:30. If you got up an hour and a half earlier, this is what most people try. They try to change everything all at once. Right? Let me tell you what's gonna happen. By about noon, you're gonna be tired. And you're not gonna be your best. The way you get up earlier every day is the way you change everything in life incrementally. So right now, if you get up at 7 and you want to eventually get up at 5:30, do you know what you do? You get up 15 minutes earlier. You won't miss those 15 minutes of sleep. Now you're up at 6:45.

• 26:01Ed Mylett?

  And you do that for a month. For a month, you get up 15 minutes earlier. You won't even feel the change. It doesn't even seem like a big deal. It's a drop in the bucket, right? It's 15 more minutes. But then the next month, you get up 15 minutes earlier. Now you're up at 6:30. You're up at 6:30, and you do that for a month. You won't miss those 15 minutes from 6:45. It doesn't even feel like you've changed anything. But consistently, now you're up 15 minutes earlier. And then the next month, you get up at 6:15. And all of a sudden, you went from 7 to 6:45 to 6:30. Now it's 6:15. And before you know it, a month after that, it's 6 a.m. You can reverse engineer it all the way back, several months later.

• 26:42Ed Mylett?

  You're waking up at 5:30. But you do it incrementally, and it doesn't seem like a big change, but it's huge because it's consistent. Same thing in business. If you wanna start doing it, it's not making 100 times more contacts every day. It's increasing your productivity by 15 to 20% and doing it every single day. It's not massive changes. Most of you, if you're an engine, don't need a major engine overhaul. You need a small, fine-tuning type adjustment. The old days are carburetor type adjustment. That's the difference. It's these small things. It's doing it consistently. And it's this belief system, listen to me, that you're gonna become relentless and obsessed with what you're doing. You know what the great ones do?

• 27:26Ed Mylett?

  They do the needle moving things. The things that move the needle. They don't just do the routine every day. They do something in their life as a parent, as an entrepreneur, as a leader, that moves the needle, stuff that can make quantum leaps. The hard stuff, the difficult stuff. I teach in my scheduling that I don't do first things first every day. I do feared things first. Feared things first. Get the thing you're most afraid of out of the way. You know how you do something consistently? You build the habit of doing the feared things first in your day. If early in your day, if you've got a call you don't want to make, do that call first. If you've got a meeting you don't want, schedule it first. I try to schedule all my difficult meetings on Mondays.

• 28:11Ed Mylett?

  Early in the day, too, because I want to create momentum. If I can do that one I don't want to do, if I can make that call I don't want to make, the rest of my day is like downhill. It's like momentum going down the hill as opposed to, if you've got that hard meeting or that one call or that contact you need to make and you just haven't made it all day and you make the other ones, you know you're climbing uphill all day till you got to do that one. But if you just knock the feared things first off, then it's like cruising downhill all day. It's much easier when you create momentum. These are the things. It's the pace, it's the rhythm, it's the consistency, it's the availability. It's the game of inches that separate people. It's doing the things every day that the average do some days. It's doing it on the days you don't feel like it compared to those

• 28:55Ed Mylett?

  who just do it when they're pumped up and excited and they've heard the right podcast or they got the right Instagram message today. These are the separators. And when it comes down to, truthfully, is this belief system. And here's what I've always said, and I mean this, I think you've got to evaluate this, truly.

• 29:16Ed Mylett?

  If you believe you're far away from something, you will pace yourself that way. I've always heard people say, "Well, business is a marathon. Life's a marathon. Life is really long." Life can be short if it's miserable. I can tell you that. Life can be short if it's not going very well. And although it's a marathon, the great ones sprint the whole race. That's not that they don't rest. You know what I mean? What I'm saying is there's a pace. If you think something's far away, you act like it. See, most people don't lack vision. They have a vision. If you asked them, "Hey, do you want to be rich or poor?", the average person would probably say, "Rich." "Do you want to make a big difference in the world or make none?" "I'd like to make a difference." "You want to contribute or not contribute?" "I want to contribute."

• 30:01Ed Mylett?

  "Do you want to laugh or cry more?" "I want to laugh more." "Want to be happy or sad?" "I want to be happy." "You want to go see things and create memories in your life, or basically do the same thing over and over again?" Most people say, "I want memories in my life." So it's not that you don't have a vision. It's that you have a depth perception problem. You have a pacing problem. See, you think your dreams, those feelings, those memories, that change, that body, that relationship, that amount of money, is really far away. And because you believe it's that far away, you've created patterns, belief systems, thought processes in your life that perpetually keep it that far away. You are jogging in the marathon of life,

• 30:46Ed Mylett?

  where the winners are running 15% to 20% faster than you. They're up 15 minutes before you. They're making 15% to 20% more contacts. They're doing every day what you do some days. Because they believe that their one decision, one meeting, one new contact, one new relationship, one new thought, maybe one podcast away from completely changing their life. I'm not suggesting to you that it's going to be easy and that it's going to happen like that. What I am suggesting to you is that if you think it's really far away, and you pace yourself and you do things occasionally...

• 31:24Ed Mylett?

  It'll always stay that far away. It'll always be there. It'll always be a mystery. And here's the truth, you and I both know it. There's no mystery to what makes a great mom or a great dad. You know exactly what it is. There's no mystery of what makes a great athlete. You know exactly what that looks like. There's no mystery would make a great entrepreneur. There's no mystery that would make you happier. There's no mystery. The mystery is you. The mystery is, are you willing to do the things every day? To be relentless, to be obsessed, to get out of balance? This notion of balance is a fallacy. If you're gonna do anything great in your life, some things are gonna be popping at a given time when others aren't.

• 32:08Ed Mylett?

  But what if this entire notion that your life is a finite kind of pie? That if you take a big slice out of the business pie, your family's gonna suffer? If you really focus on your family, then you're gonna suffer in your fitness? What if the truth is that you're an expanding being that vibrates at a very high frequency? And that when you magnify one area of your life, if you do it correctly, it'll magnify and expand the others, not take from it? See, all these questions about what it takes to win, or am I gonna be out of balance, are from a completely flawed belief system. Two beliefs, one is that it's further away than it really is. And two, is that if I'm killing it in one area of my life, another area has to suffer. What if that's one of the great lies of life?

• 32:53Ed Mylett?

  What if one of the great lies of life is that your dreams are for other people? That it's for people not like you? That they're doing extraordinary things that you're incapable of doing? As opposed to the truth is, they're just doing things every day that you only do occasionally. They have availability all the time. What if the truth is that the great lie is that it's far away? And the truth is that it's one decision, one new thought, one meeting, one connection away? What if that's the great lie of life? What if the great lie of life is that this is for other people and not you? Because I can tell you that that's a lie. The truth is, is that it's very close. And the truth is, is that it's these small decisions that alter our lives.

• 33:37Ed Mylett?

  I could tell you straight up, you're a lot closer than you think you are. And what if the third great lie is that, oh, if I'm really expanding one area of my life, another area has to suffer, that I'll become out of balance. I don't even know what balance means, but what I've found in my life, and here's the truth, that's a lie. It's a flawed belief system that's been mind-virused throughout our culture and our society for years, where we have these concepts of balance. Let me tell you what I've found, that when I am killing it in the gym, and I'm a business athlete, and I'm strong, and I'm spending time in there training my body, that I'm a better businessman. That's what I've found, that my gym life, my fitness life expands my business life. You know what I've also found? That when I'm killing it at work, and I'm giving it everything I've got,

• 34:22Ed Mylett?

  that when I come home, I'm a better dad. I'm a better friend. I've got more insights, more energy to give to other people. When I'm suffering at work, I usually suffer at home. When I'm suffering in the gym, I'm suffering at work. So when one area expands, it magnifies the other areas of life. The reason that we believe it takes from one another, and then we feed that belief system, is we've been programmed into our minds to believe it. I'm not saying that you not need to be careful, that you don't need to be careful about your allocation of time and making sure everybody gets something. But I can tell you straight up, the fitter I've gotten, and the harder I've worked out in the gym, and the more time I've put in there, the better businessman that I've been. The better businessman I've been, when I'm making a difference in my work,

• 35:05Ed Mylett?

  and I'm growing and expanding, the more I bring to my family and friends, the more value I have, the more insights I have, the more love I have, the bigger and better version of me I have to share with my family. You remember this? If you're doing a great job as a mother or a father, you're gonna bring that love, and that comfort, and that security, and that faith into your work-life, and it's going to expand your work-life, not take from it. And when you're crushing it at work, you're gonna be a better mom and a better dad and a better friend because you're a better you and you're more proud of you and you respect you more. And because when you come from that place, you've got more to give other people. And when you're nailing it in your fitness and you're crushing it and you're fitter and stronger,

• 35:49Ed Mylett?

  those aren't hours you're taking from other places. Those are investments you're making in your strength and your vitality and your mental well-being so that you are better at work and that you are better in your family. One of those areas expands the others as long as you believe it does. Those are the three lies of life. And today I cleared it up for you. I told you the truth. And so although there are no secrets to winning, there are lies. There are flawed belief systems that take from winning. And what I have found is that if you do the things that I've described today, you put yourself in a position to win where the probability of you winning is increased. There's no guarantees in life. There's no promises.

• 36:31Ed Mylett?

  What we're trying to do is increase the probability and the possibility of our winning. And what starts to happen is you become an impossibility thinker into a possibility achiever. All your life, you've had this secret notion about you. Deep in your heart, you were known, you were born to do something great with your life. When you were a little boy or a little girl, you just knew it. Maybe even had a family member who made you feel that way. They saw the special in you, didn't they?

• 37:03Ed Mylett?

  I'm here to just remind you today. They were right. You were right. You were born to do something great with your life. And I mean, yes, you sister, yes, you, my brother. And maybe no one's told you in a while. Maybe no one's reminded you in a while. But I want you to know, God made you to do something great. He made you in His image and likeness with a big plan. And you're gonna make a difference in people's lives in what seem to be small ways that end up being huge ways down the line in their life. And some of the things when you're doing it's gonna feel really big when you're doing it. But remember what I said earlier, when you're making history in your life, most of the time, it doesn't feel like it. Because you're in the midst of the work, you're in the midst of the fog, you're on

• 37:45Ed Mylett?

  that lonely road to success that I've described in other podcasts. If you've not heard those shows, listen to them. It seems lonely, it seems dark, it doesn't seem like you're getting there. But meanwhile, you're making deposits in the bank account of success every single day. The truth is, the people that win, that become the goats, that are the great ones, they've just made more deposits in the success account than those that haven't. And they make those deposits because they do needle-moving things, they get up a little bit earlier, they do it more consistently, they believe they're closer than they are, they know that when they're crushing in one area, they're expanding in others, they know it's a game of inches, they know it's almost too scary to talk about. But the thing they really know is that they were born to do it.

• 38:30Ed Mylett?

  That they were born to do something great with their life. So I'm here to remind you, it's closer than you think, you're closer than you think. There are no secrets, but there are secrets. There are lies, there are flawed belief systems, and hopefully today, we've rid you of a few of them. I really believe in you. And I don't believe in you because I've met you, because millions of you I haven't met. I believe in you because I believe in God. I believe that he doesn't make any mistakes. And even if you don't believe in God, that's okay, I got enough belief for both of us. And I know that you were born to do something awesome, that you're not here by mistake. I know there's a purpose to you and your life. And I know the more that you do these things I've described, that purpose will be revealed

• 39:13Ed Mylett?

  to you, even if it's not clear to you now. Over time, it'll be revealed. Over time, those deposits you're making, millions of other people in your life, and maybe just a few of them, will be the benefactors of making the withdrawals, because you did all of the work. The people that you love will thank you someday for doing all of the work you've done. Just right now, they can't see it. Right now, maybe they don't even believe it for you. But I believe it, and I know you're gonna do something great. I hope today helped you. Hope every week when we come back on these solo episodes, that you, I picked up another thing, I'm more inspired, I learned something, this is something I'm gonna shift. I know for me, it was valuable today, I feel like I was talking to me.

• 39:55Ed Mylett?

  I feel like I was talking to me. We're all in this together. We're all brothers and sisters. None of us are better than anybody else. You know, the world is going to try to convince you that we're all separated, that we are all at each other's throats right now. We're all in this together. And although we may have different opinions and belief systems about different things, we're brothers and sisters nonetheless. And we were put here and born to make each other's lives better. And that includes you. You are uniquely qualified to change other people's lives. You're the only person on earth right now with your experiences, your personality, your background, your heart, your mind, all combined into one human being.

• 40:39Ed Mylett?

  Man, that's pretty special. Man, you're special. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. So, you know, I get asked a lot, what are some of the common practices or behaviors of the successful people that have been on your show? I gotta tell you, most of them have been to therapy and they've told me therapy's made a big difference in their life. It's made a big difference in my life. And so whether you've got like a real traumatic thing you want to work through in your life that you've not resolved yet, or maybe you just got an emotion you'd like to get rid of or improve. Maybe it's none of that. Maybe you just got kind of something you want to talk through, a problem you want to work through. If you've been considering doing therapy, I think you should take a look at BetterHelp. BetterHelp is done entirely online and what I love about it is they match you with a licensed therapist. If you don't click with the therapist, you can switch at any given time to a therapist that meets your needs that you kind of click

• 41:22Ed Mylett?

  and vibe with. Take a moment and visit betterhelp.com right now to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H E L P, dot com slash ed show.

• 41:35Ed Mylett?

  Would that be your first recommendation? Cause as we wrap things up here a little bit, would you recommend they just begin to regulate their breathing? Start with meditating? What would your first recommendation be? I'm listening to this. You go, I want to change, I still want to change matter in my life. I want to create the body. I want to create the world. There isn't anything wrong with that. I want to, I want to experience the emotions in my life that I've, I've touched on them before, but I want to have them on a regular basis. I know they're right here within me at any time. What would your just, you know, basic recommendation be to begin?

• 42:04Joe Dispenza?

  Yeah, I think the first thing is to learn. Every time you learn, you make new connections in your brain, and learning is making those connections. And I was joking with my staff this week. I said, "Nobody reads anymore." Nobody reads. Nobody reads anything. Learn information. Why? Because we found out that in our events, if you can be present and not look at your cellphone, or not talk about your past, but be present with the content. And I can combine quantum physics with neuroscience, with neuroendocrinology, with psychoneuroimmunology, mind-body connection, epigenetics, electromagnetism. You can really get it. Like, you can give me the nod, and then I say, "Okay." I'm looking at an audience of fifteen hundred, six hundred people.

• 42:47Joe Dispenza?

  "Okay, well, turn to the person next to you and teach it back to them." If you can't explain that, it's not wired in your brain, and you'll doubt that it's possible, and you'll do something differently. Okay, if you can explain it, then you're causing your brain to fire, and new sequences, and new patterns, and new combinations. Whenever you make your brain work differently, you're changing your mind. Why? Because mind is the brain in action, so you keep reminding yourself of this. Now, this, it's easier to forget this than remember it. You know, it takes practice. Really, you can't get it in one bite. It's a learning process, right? So now, you're installing the neurological hardware in your brain in preparation for the experience. So knowledge is the precursor to the experience, right? Without the knowledge and the information, it's conjecture, right?

• 43:29Joe Dispenza?

  So the more you understand the what in the terms of what you're doing, and the why you're doing it, the application, the practical aspect, the how, becomes exciting, like, "Oh, I'm gonna get it." As an example, you can take someone and throw them in an ice bath. They have no knowledge of ice, but what that can do. And then, because they have no knowledge, the ice bath is actually gonna, is going to cause them harm. Right. Right? You take that person, you can teach them a few things, and put them in an ice bath, and it'll actually be instrumental, actually gain value from it. Well, the prefrontal cortex, the one that said, "Now, you gotta make this, you gotta make this valuable." You can take a person. And you can, you can put them in an environment and they can perceive the environment as a problem.

• 44:12Joe Dispenza?

  And you can measure their autonomic response and it'll weaken their autonomic response. You can take that person and have them perceive it as a challenge and it'll actually strengthen their autonomic response. Okay, so now, what's the, what's the, what's the reason behind this? Well, you gotta, you gotta put as much tension on your inner world of how you're thinking and how you're feeling and how you're gonna behave as much as your outer world of three dimensional reality. And meditation is just a way to say, okay, let me get my brain and body right. I'm gonna present Ed Mylett to the world today. I got one lifetime, one Groundhog Day, one day. I just want something different, something unusual, something mystical, some sign from the universe that I created. And I wanted to come in a way that I would never think of that would be the unknown.

• 44:56Joe Dispenza?

  Cause if I can predict it, it's the known, okay? Let me, before I get up and grab my phone and do all my things and get plugged back into my known world. Let me just say, okay, who do I no longer wanna be? I wanna become so conscious that I won't go unconscious again. The fundamental question is, how many times am I gonna forget? Until I stop forgetting and start remembering? That is the moment. And there's nothing mystical about this. This is the work. And then you're gonna say, okay, who do I wanna be when I open my eyes? Okay, let me think about this. How would greatness live? I don't know. Read a book on greatness. Read a book on Nelson Mandela. You wanna be wealthy? Read about wealthy people. And you're gonna see that they didn't just make their wealth. They lost a ton of money and failed a million times.

• 45:40Joe Dispenza?

  It was, and that's reality, okay? Well, let's, what, what, what were the qualities? They were, they, they had perseverance. They had determination. They, they cut their losses. They forgave. They forgot about it. They went on, okay? So how am I gonna behave? Let me rehearse how I'm gonna behave. And I'm gonna do, let me take my time. I have, I have plenty of time to do. Let me just behave, let me think about how I'm gonna behave differently in this situation. How am I gonna change my emotional response? When did I fall from grace yesterday and went back to my old self? Let me just, I'll set, I'll set an alarm on my phone every three hours. I'm gonna, just gonna go off and I'm gonna take a moment and get back into the feelings of my future, okay? If I can do that over and over again, well, what do you think could happen in my life as a result of it?

• 46:24Joe Dispenza?

  So, knowledge being the forerunner, the application, simple stuff, simple stuff. Practice heart coherence. There's plenty of stuff that we can, you know, we can talk about. Practice brain coherence. It's, we know, we know, I asked the brain scientists, what percentage of people, at the end of a week-long event, what percentage of people have their brains changed for the better? They said 100%, 100%, one week, fully immersed into the experience. You practice it every day. Now, you can do it once or twice and say, "Why isn't my bank account full?" You know what I'm gonna tell you? You're not that good. That's the only reason why. If you were that good, it would happen. You're not that good. So, show up again, and show up again, and keep showing up. And I just was talking to a staff member today.

• 47:06Joe Dispenza?

  The universe only gives us what we think we're worthy of receiving, right? So then, people who show up for themselves every day,

• 47:14Ed Mylett?

  I believe they're worthy.

• 47:15Joe Dispenza?

  They, they, they start feeling pretty damn worthy, like, they're like, "I'm worthy for this." Not like, in entitlement way, like, something, they're just like, "I'm, I'm really, I'm, I feel like it's gonna happen. I'm worthy for it."

• 47:27Ed Mylett?

  There's this intuitive knowledge about reciprocity. If I put something in, that I should be getting something out, if I do it repeatedly. Totally agree with you. If you're feeling helpless, one of the anecdotes to feeling helpless is to get more helpful. And one of the ways you can be most helpful is to raise your own identity. Our identity is the core part of our lives. We're not gonna outperform our identity. Our identity, best said is, it's the thoughts, concepts, and beliefs we hold to be the most true about ourselves. It's really the invisible force in all of our lives that holds us back, or can accelerate our success, our bliss, our achievements to whole new levels. If you look at identity, if you think about it, it's almost like, it's a life thermostat. See, in this room right now, there's a thermostat sitting on that wall right now.

• 48:10Ed Mylett?

  And if it's set at 75 degrees, this room is gonna be regulated to 75 degrees. No matter what the external conditions are, it could be 100 degrees outside, the external factors do not impact the internal thermostat in this room. It's 75 degrees. Consequently, also, if it was 40 degrees outside, the heater will come on. It'll heat this room to 75 degrees. That's how your identity works. It's the internal thermostat of your life. And that's why very often, let's say that, you know, relationships or financially, you're a 75 degreeer. And if you ever notice in your life is you start to heat life up a little bit, it starts to go pretty well, maybe your relationship's blissful and loving and incredible, or financially, you've increased your results, you're at 80, 85, 90, 100 degrees of success financially or in business.

• 48:54Ed Mylett?

  And then it just seems coincidental, but somehow, some way, the air conditioner kicks on in our lives, you know, a car breaks down, an event happens, we lose an account, something takes place, and all of a sudden, we look up and boom, life's back at 75 degrees of relationship, of money, of business. That wasn't by coincidence. It is the regulator of your life is your identity. And so, if you, you can do all the right things, all the activities, all of the thinking, all of the execution part, but if you don't increase what you believe you're worth, if you don't increase that identity, that thermostat of your life, you will find a way to cool your life back down to what you believe you deserve. And so, one of the keys for me in my life is not just getting better at the mindset of life and the execution of business or strategy, but raising that identity so that

• 49:38Ed Mylett?

  I'm at 85, 90, 100, 120 degrees, so that I believe I'm worthy of, as my execution and my thinking reaches the same level, that thermostat setting, that life setting will change. It's not the external conditions of our life that dictate the terms. It's that identity, it's that thermostat setting. So, we gotta get more helpful if we feel helpless, and the way we do that is by increasing our own identity, that thermostat setting. That sounds great, doesn't it? So, how do you do that? Well, I call it the holy trilogy of shifting one's identity, and that is faith, intention, and association. That's the three things you must work on in order to increase your thermostat setting. Number one, faith. For me, it's the center part of my life, is that I have a God who loves me, that believes

• 50:23Ed Mylett?

  in me, that wants to see me successful, wants to see me prosper, wants to have favor in my life, wants me to feel comfort and peace. And so, I find oftentimes it's interesting, people of faith sometimes, God's in their life Sunday at church when they're worshiping, or they're in Bible study, or when they're eating a meal, they'll pray over it, but somehow, when they walk into a business meeting, a speech, a boardroom, a client environment, they leave God at the door and they think they're on their own. So for me, if you're a person of faith and God is with you all the time, and he loves you all the time, and he comforts you all the time, that includes business. That includes every area of your life. It includes him wanting to bless you with a great relationship, bless you financially, bless you to the best of your abilities in business, and then whatever the other.

• 51:05Ed Mylett?

  If you're an athlete watching this, bless you in that at bat, over that putt, catching that football, hitting that shot. And so number one source of shifting your thermostat setting is reconnecting again with your faith and allowing yourself to feel it inside all the other environments that exist. Then there's number two, there's your intentions. See, I don't think enough people give themselves credit for having great intention. There's a power to intention in our lives. And so what most of us think is, "I'll feel better about myself, or I'll be more confident when, when I get that job, when I get that relationship, when I get this amount of money, when I get that house, when I hit that homerun, when I'm hitting a certain average," right? And so you're always chasing your tail. If your identity and your confidence is contingent upon producing a result that has not yet existed,

• 51:50Ed Mylett?

  it's pretty difficult to catch it, isn't it, if you have to have it to get it in the first place? Instead of saying, "Maybe I ought to get credit, and I ought to be worthy of more because I intend to do well." As a young man in business, I started to figure out, you know, I I may not have all the answers. I may not be the smartest, the best-looking, the most articulate. My IQ isn't 250. But I intend to serve. I intend to make a difference. I make mistakes, but overall, I'm a good person who wants to do good in the world, and I should be favored because of that. Not enough of you are giving yourself credit for your intentions. You want to shift your identity overnight? Connect with your faith. You want to double-shift it? Connect with your intentions. So when I go into a business meeting, or I go into a lunch, or I'm going into any type of encounter,

• 52:34Ed Mylett?

  even in my golf life, when my sport I play, I remind myself that I've got a God who loves me, who wants me to win, who wants me to be blessed, who wants me to be favored, who wants me to feel peace. Number two, I intend to do good. I'm a decent human being. And you know what? Good things ought to happen to good people. And then third is association. You are who you hang around. See, if you're a Eighty-five degree or seventy-five degree or financially. But you start hanging around someone, say like myself, who lives at a hundred or forty, a hundred and fifty degrees of finances and wealth and abundance. You will get heated up by proximity to somewhere in between the two of us and a lot closer to where I am than where you are. Same thing in relationships. If you want to have a great loving relationship in your life,

• 53:15Ed Mylett?

  but you're living at seventy-five degrees in your relationships, you start hanging around people who are in loving, beautiful relationships. Your thermostat setting will increase. Same within your faith life. If you want to start walking with more faith in your seventy-five degrees of faith, if you start hanging around people who walk their faith life at a hundred, a hundred and fifty degrees, you'll be heated up through proximity. And so these are the three things we do in order to shift our lives. Our identity is the governor on our life. It is the most powerful force in the world. It's the invisible force that governs everything is that thermostat setting. And then if that's true, the way we shift it is always going to be our faith, our intentions and our associations. And those associations are so huge. I know you've all heard, you're, you know, you're the product of who you hang around the most often. But look at the last ninety days of your life. Okay, and ask yourself this question.

• 54:00Ed Mylett?

  Other than say your spouse or children, who are the two or three, four people you've spent the most time with? Picture their faces and their lives right now. And then I want you to measure one thing. What's their emotional maturity like? See, what I find with all successful people is they have a degree of emotional maturity that other people are absent of. So I always measure, what's their emotional maturity? How do they handle success? How do they handle failure? How do they handle their lives? Then ask yourself this. These three or four people you've been around, can you immediately name two or three things that they have in their life in an area that matters to you? Let's say it's money. Let's just say it was money. That they have that you don't have, that you wish you did have? Or in relationships? Do you, can you name two or three things in their relationships that they have that you wish you had?

• 54:45Ed Mylett?

  Or in business? Or in their physical body? And if you can't immediately go, yeah, they got two, three, four things, man, I would love to have that in my life. Then I'm not so sure that that's the person you ought to spend the most time with. The reverse question is also, hey, can you name two or three things they have that you definitely don't want? When you look at their financial life, if finances are important to you, do they have two or three things going on in their life financially you definitely want no part of? Or in their relationship life, you know, if you want a better relationship, if you look at their relationship, there are two or three things like I wouldn't want that relationship, I don't like the way he or she treats them, or they get treated. You could look at that, or their physical body, you want to be in really great shape, you look at them, do they have two or three things about their health or wellness that you don't think are really great? Well, that's an immediate sign, maybe they're the wrong people.

• 55:28Ed Mylett?

  And so taking an evaluation of who your associations are, are they emotionally mature, do they have the two or three things you would like to have in your life, they have in theirs that you'd like to get heated up and get? Or do they have two or three things you want to avoid? These are signs that you should be away from them. So the way we get more helpful is we increase our identity, and we increase our identity by working on our faith, our intention, and our associations. If you do those three things, I believe you're going to live happier, you're going to help other people become happier, you're going to make a contribution in people's lives that's deeper and more meaningful than you've ever made before. And by the way, lastly, that's what you were put here to do. You were put here, you were born to do something great with your life, in small ways and big ways. You were made to do something awesome with your life. Maybe not all of it's going to get limelight or notoriety,

• 56:13Ed Mylett?

  but you were born to make a difference in the world. And the more you realize that, the more you step into your intention, the more you step into the person you're capable of becoming, the more you just decide, I'm raising that thermostat setting. I'm no longer this other character I was playing. At any point, you and God are the authors of your life. You can grab the pen and start to write a new chapter and say, I'm stepping into this new character. Their identity's higher, they're more faithful, they're focused on their intentions more often, they improve their associations, and they help people. Well, I hope I'm doing that for you. So you know those pieces in your closet that you find yourself wearing like on repeat all the time? That sweater that kind of just goes with everything? Or these perfect pair of pants? Those are the pieces that make getting dressed easy and that's what Quince does best.

• 56:58Ed Mylett?

  Quince focuses on high-quality wardrobe staples with premium materials like 100% Mongolian cashmere, organic cotton. The styles are timeless, versatile, and designed to become the dependable pieces you reach for every day. It's what I'm wearing right now. They give you the softness and quality you'd expect from a luxury brand without the price tag. Quince also makes premium pants, fitted tees and polos, and breathable activewear. Quality basics designed to work with your wardrobe and hold up to everyday wear. I love their cotton tees. I'm wearing one now and I get a ton of compliments when I wear them on the podcast and when I speak. So find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers or go to quince.com/ed for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too.

• 57:42Ed Mylett?

  That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash ed. So you know I've been trying to take my health and my morning routine to the next level and I used to do a whole bunch of different stuff, tons of different supplements, and then I found All-in-One in a drink with IM8. IM8 is the way to simplify your supplement routine, finally, once and for all. 16 supplements replaced 90 ingredients across nine major organ systems in one drink. You can have all these supplements for $2.61 a day. I've changed my mornings. The whole IM8 routine has changed my mornings. I feel great and I bring energy to the entire day. Go to im8health.com/ed10 right now or click the link in the description and use code ED10

• 58:25Ed Mylett?

  for a free welcome kit, five free travel sachets, plus 10% off your order. That's code ED10 at im8health.com/ed10. Code ED10 at im8health.com/ed10. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Give me something you've done, granular, we'll go granular, that has helped you begin to work on worthiness. Because this distinction, even in prepping for this, the reason I'm doing what I'm doing right now, we prepped, we talked about this, I've read the book, but I don't think I really made this correlative difference between confidence and worthiness. So what's something we could all do right now, a practice or a strategy,

• 59:10Ed Mylett?

  for growing our worthiness level?

• 59:12Jamie Kern Lima?

  Okay, let's dive in. And two things, we'll get granular now, but the book obviously has so much more. And then when you and I do live, and I want to say thank you for this, I don't think I said thank you off the top, but you know, when you're an author, right? Why are we doing this? It's like, I never realized this before I wrote a book, is that when you preorder the book early, it's a huge gift to an author, because then retailers know like, oh, there's demand for it. Yeah, and so, you know, it's, I just want to do something really, really special for everyone listening. And the fact that if they preorder the book and they're live on a Zoom with you and me, it's gonna be unreal. Let's dive, like, we'll go deep into self doubt and the building self-worth. I'm so excited, so thank you again for that.

• 59:55Ed Mylett?

  So, by the way, everybody, she's gonna give you a tactic right now, but let me just say one thing to you. This is the only show, this is the worldwide announcement for her book. So I want to ask you, because you know, Jamie's so remarkable, and what you're gonna learn and feel today is so remarkable. Share this episode, because it's the way people are gonna find out the book's coming out, right? So please, share this episode. You can do it right now and keep listening or keep watching, but give us one thing we could do on our worthiness.

• 1:00:19Jamie Kern Lima?

  Okay, great, and it'll go away, by the way. I didn't even say that, sorry. But this is like something really special, just for pre-orders, but it'll go away. So if you want to be live with Ed, grab it now and share it.

• 1:00:29Ed Mylett?

  They're with me all the time, they're gonna want to be with you, but okay.

• 1:00:32Jamie Kern Lima?

  You know, here's a big one for me is changing my relationship with rejection. And this is, you know, for every person listening, when you change your, and watching us too, when you change your relationship with rejection, you change your entire life.

• 1:00:44Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:44Jamie Kern Lima?

  You change your entire life. And I think, you know, fear of failure and rejection kills so many dreams. It keeps us stuck and...

• 1:00:56Jamie Kern Lima?

  You know, this was huge for me. And so, just to take everyone through a tactical, let's just, let's just go there. Let's do a tactical exercise right now, because this is something that outside of this episode, you're gonna wanna reapply it, spend more time on it, do the work on it. But just right now, as you're listening or watching us, answer this question to yourself super honestly, super honestly. When you fail at something or get rejected, what is the first thought that goes through your head? Very first thought. When you fail at something or get rejected, what's the first thought that goes through your head? For me, most of my whole life, it's, oh, yep, there's proof again, I'm not enough.

• 1:01:36Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 1:01:37Jamie Kern Lima?

  I'm not enough.

• 1:01:38Ed Mylett?

  Sounds very familiar.

• 1:01:39Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah, is that yours then?

• 1:01:40Ed Mylett?

  Yes, yes.

• 1:01:41Jamie Kern Lima?

  Same? Right now, whatever your thought that just came to your mind, right? That you just, your instant truth, first response, that is your current definition of rejection. Right? So for me, it's, oh, there's proof I'm not enough, right? For, for a lot of people, it's something like, oh, yep, I'm not smart enough, I don't have what it takes, I'm stupid, I'm, you know, X, Y, or Z, I didn't go to the right school, I didn't come from the right family, I don't have what it takes, I'm, oh yeah, it's because of my weight, oh, it's, whatever it might be, right? We all have this definition of, of rejection. And, and I want you to just take note of yours right now, because this is really powerful. Don't skip over this, this, this one thing will change your life. If you take note of what is your current definition of rejection.

• 1:02:26Jamie Kern Lima?

  For me, it's, I'm not enough, right? And...

• 1:02:29Ed Mylett?

  Can I tell you what mine's more specifically?

• 1:02:30Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:31Ed Mylett?

  Just a little bit more refined?

• 1:02:32Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:33Ed Mylett?

  Because I wanna meet you in the middle on it. I think mine is like, I don't belong here.

• 1:02:35Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yes.

• 1:02:36Ed Mylett?

  So it's slightly different, but like, I don't belong here. I don't know, I, I think there's probably some things where, when I was a kid, my dad was like, yeah, we don't belong. But if I get into an environment, I, I don't belong here, if it's a big stage to speak on, or a room that I'm in, or people that are smarter than me, I don't belong here. I feel like I just physically, literally don't belong. Or even different things I've achieved, or levels, or, like, the first time I even walked into a country club I wanted to join. I don't belong here. They don't know the real me. Like, I don't belong here. And so that's, I don't, I just want to give the phraseology from me. Maybe it's, could be male, female. It could be just person to person that's different. Keep going. I interrupted you. I just wanted to add that.

• 1:03:20Jamie Kern Lima?

  I know. That's so good. I think that sheds a lot of light too for, for, because get granular with, you know, for everyone joining us with it right now. Just get granular on what that is for you, you know? And, and, and by the way, I have another thing. Oh, I hope we have time. I want to dive deep on what you just said. I'm gonna dive deep in that in a minute with a whole other tactic. But yeah, I don't belong here. That's huge, right? I don't belong here. I'm not enough. And at our core, we all want to feel like we're enough and will be loved. Right? We all need love and belonging. We all need to be seen and heard and know that we matter. And at our core, that's a huge one. I don't belong.

• 1:03:55Ed Mylett?

  Did you have to belong anything? I wonder because you didn't, you know, your birth mom gave you up real early, right? So like, did you, or did your, the mother who raised you make you feel like you belonged immediately? Or did you struggle without it all?

• 1:04:07Jamie Kern Lima?

  I have struggled with that my whole life.

• 1:04:08Ed Mylett?

  Have you?

• 1:04:09Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah. Yeah. Not feeling like I fit in, not feeling I belong, feeling I'm different.

• 1:04:13Ed Mylett?

  Yes. And maybe you are different and maybe that's a good thing. It doesn't mean you don't belong, but I am different. You are different. I know you. By the way, those of you that are listening, you are different. That's why you're individually you.

• 1:04:26Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yes.

• 1:04:27Ed Mylett?

  Right? That's the, the thing that makes you different is your special sauce.

• 1:04:31Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yes.

• 1:04:31Ed Mylett?

  Not the thing that eliminates you from the room or the environment. It's what makes you special to add something to your family, add something to a company, add something to another human being. Is these different things about you? So anyhow, you're going down your strager.

• 1:04:45Jamie Kern Lima?

  And all, and, and to add to that, it's your, it's your superpower. If you are showing up in this world as your authentic self, by definition, you've never been done before. There's never been another you. And we think the thing that is different or quirky or awkward about us is what's wrong with us, but it's actually the thing that's right with us, right? And, and I don't want to get off on a huge tangent, but like, had I not embraced all the crap that was technically wrong with me, I could have never built a billion dollar company. Like, rosacea is considered a flaw. It's considered something wrong with me. And it's like when I finally started to embrace it and share it and step into it. Right. That's when other people felt seen. I was like, oh, me too. And, and, and I have skin challenges or this or that or whatever.

• 1:05:26Jamie Kern Lima?

  And it's like, there's a whole chapter in Worthy about this idea of how you're not crazy, you're just first. I love this. Not crazy, you're just first. And, and, and, oh gosh, okay, I could talk about that for hours, but this, the lessons around this will change your life. It's, it's why this book just came through me. I'm, I'm donating a hundred percent of the proceeds. I'm not even doing this to sell books, but this book will change your life and I'm so fired up about it. But to get real tactical, okay, back there. So we just did our new definition, or sorry, your, your current definition of rejection, which for me is like, oh, yep, proof again, I'm not enough. For Ed is, you know, I don't belong here, right? And take note of, of what yours is that, that came to your mind right now.

• 1:06:10Jamie Kern Lima?

  And step one of, of literally changing your entire life, again, I believe this through my core, when you change your relationship with rejection, you change your entire life, your business, your family, your relationships, your, your goals and dreams, ever stepping into your calling. So I want you to come up with a new definition of rejection that you are going to believe is true and remind yourself of every time it happens. And I'm going to give you a couple of examples of this. So, for example, when I went through years of hundreds and hundreds of no's and rejections, building at cosmetics and I would sit there, Ed, and I would Google all of my greatest heroes or people I thought I had so much respect for.

• 1:06:53Jamie Kern Lima?

  And as I would read their stories, I'm like, oh, they've all gone through tons of rejections in their life, right? Every single one of them, right? And I came to this realization that the people who succeed the most are also the people who fail the most because they're the people who try the most and, and keep going. And so I started, yeah, and I started telling myself this new definition of rejection, which is, ooh, it's a victory. It means I'm one of the brave ones willing to go for it. Yes. And I started telling myself that every time I call a new retailer on the phone and like, oh, no, no, you're not the right fit for us or this or that or whatever. And it would hurt my feelings. It's not that I was immune to being hurt or whatever. But I'm like, oh, you know what? I'm one of the brave ones willing to go for it, which means eventually I'm going to

• 1:07:38Jamie Kern Lima?

  succeed. And I started seeing rejection in this weird way as a positive thing. Another definition that I use a lot is rejection is God's protection.

• 1:07:49Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 1:07:50Jamie Kern Lima?

  Right? And I use this one a lot and there are more in my own life and my own head, right? That's something I tell myself over and over. You know, there's more stories than I can count where I'm like, and by the way, you know, it's, well, one example is at cosmetics. I mean, there was one investor midway through the journey that said, you know, he passed on investing and I thought, we were down to almost bankrupt, right? We had under a thousand dollars in our account, which was the company and our personal, which meant we had a few weeks left before we went bankrupt. And everything was on the line and I had this big meeting with a potential investor and, and you know the story, Ed, but

• 1:08:26Ed Mylett?

  It's so unbelievable.

• 1:08:27Jamie Kern Lima?

  At the end, you know, he passed on investing and I really was thinking he was going to be like my saving grace. And he said that he didn't think women would buy makeup from someone who looked like me with my body and my weight and it was a whole thing.

• 1:08:39Ed Mylett?

  Wait a second. Hang on. Did you all just hear what she said? Okay, I want you to imagine you struggle with worthiness issues. You've been building this company forever. I just want to make sure because I think what you're about to tell them, the belief system that you took from it could change the world. So the first thing is, I want to go back.

• 1:08:54Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:55Ed Mylett?

  Okay. You're not crazy, you're just first. I want everyone to just digest that. I want you to hear what this woman said. Who knows about this stuff? You are not crazy to be pursuing your dream.

• 1:09:08Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:09Ed Mylett?

  You're just first.

• 1:09:10Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yep.

• 1:09:11Ed Mylett?

  And you're probably first in your family, which is why they're the ones who think you're the craziest. You need to accept this.

• 1:09:14Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:15Ed Mylett?

  Okay, there's a profound, Jamie has this ability to say profound, deep things over and over again, hundreds of them, and she doesn't know. You are not crazy. You're just first and your family's probably not going to get it. And even in your own company, maybe them, they're not going to get it. And so that's okay. The second thing is, this woman Struggling with worthiness all of her life. She's getting rejected like crazy up and down. She's also struggled, one of her worthiness issues is she had rosacea. She's struggled with body issues all of her life, if we're gonna get really real with Jamie, okay? She's had body issues. So imagine your biggest insecurity is probably that. It's physical, okay? She's this gorgeous, you know, beautiful woman, but she doesn't know it.

• 1:09:58Ed Mylett?

  And so her number one insecurity is probably her body issue, at least operating out in the real world. She goes into this meeting needing it. She's down to a grand. He not only rejects her, he says to you, I'll let you say it again. He tells her, "The very reason I'm rejecting you is the very thing you think about yourself the most deeply." I want you to imagine this, so go ahead.

• 1:10:20Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yes, and we had gone through meeting after a meeting. We went through the diligence phase. We were so close with this potential investor who's the head of a private equity company. And in the final meeting, he's actually, it was in person, so he's about three feet from me. Paul, my husband, was on the other side and he says, you know, "Congratulations, you should be so proud of this product and what you've built, but it's a no. We're gonna pass on investing." And when I said, "Can you tell me why?" It's usually feedback's a gift and he got very quiet. And he says, "You want me to be really honest with you?" And I said, "Yes, please." And he said, "I just don't think women will buy makeup from someone who looks like you with your body and your weight." And two things though, Ed, okay, because rejections and the pain that they cause can take us out.

• 1:11:04Jamie Kern Lima?

  They can take us down, they can take us out. We can keep replaying them over and over and over in our heads. And by this point, I had so many rejections. This was just one that I thought was gonna be my saving grace, that had he said yes. And I remember after I cried in my car, I remember telling myself rejection is God's protection. And I don't know how this is gonna be God's protection. I don't see it now. It doesn't make sense to me now. I needed it to be a yes now, but I'm gonna choose to believe that. Because if I don't believe that, it's gonna take me down. I'm not gonna get back up and keep going and embracing more rejection and more rejection and more rejection and more rejection, right? And here's what ended up. Happening. I didn't hear from that guy for six years.

• 1:11:48Jamie Kern Lima?

  The day that L'Oréal bought my company for 1.2 billion dollars cash. Because they are a public company, it was all over the press, right? Homepage of the Wall Street Journal, everywhere. That was the first time I heard from that potential, yeah, in six years. He said, "Congratulations on the L'Oréal deal. I was wrong."

• 1:12:05Ed Mylett?

  Gosh.

• 1:12:06Jamie Kern Lima?

  And what I wanted to say to him, Ed?

• 1:12:08Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, right.

• 1:12:09Jamie Kern Lima?

  Was, do you remember, did you ever see Pretty Woman?

• 1:12:12Ed Mylett?

  Yes, because the character's Edward. Of course, I saw Pretty Woman. I love that movie.

• 1:12:15Jamie Kern Lima?

  So when that, when they wouldn't help her in the store? And then she goes back later.

• 1:12:20Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 1:12:20Jamie Kern Lima?

  What I wanted to say to him was, "Big mistake." Huge, huge. I can give you 1.2 billion reasons why it was a huge mistake. But I kept it classy. I didn't say that. But here's, here's my point in this. Had he invested, it would have been the most successful investment in his firm's history. But guess what? I was so desperate at the time, Ed. I was, I probably, we probably would have given the majority of the company for almost no money, right? Because he didn't believe in me, when we sold to L'Oréal, I was the largest shareholder. So it's like rejection is God's protection. And sometimes we don't see it when it happens. So that's, that's one.

• 1:12:59Ed Mylett?

  Can we say something on that too?

• 1:13:00Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:00Ed Mylett?

  Okay, so because her and I talk about these things all of the time. First of all, it's one of the most unbelievable stories ever, and I've heard it many times. A few weeks ago, I went to watch Jamie speak. I'm in the front row. Obviously, I'm rooting for my friend. But I got emotional again. I started crying again. And actually, right now, if I'm not careful, I will. Because I'm picturing this woman who all of her life has struggled with worthiness. And then to have someone hit you right where he's hit. But rejection is God's protection is one of the fundamental beliefs I've never heard said before. That if you adapt and adopt that belief in your life, it will change your life. Here's how much your relationship with rejection matters. My children, both, you get that stage, you know Max and Bella. Both of them are, you know, hey, they're in college, getting ready for their careers.

• 1:13:43Ed Mylett?

  And my son said, "Maybe I'll follow in your footsteps, Dad, get into sales in the beginning." And I said, "Max, the whole key, if you're going to go into business for yourself, is your ability to deal with rejection." It's the number one thing. Can you deal with rejection? And what's the story you tell yourself? Because it's not the stories of our life, the events of our life that define it. It's the meaning we attach to it. Our friend, Erwin McManus, had a great post, I saw it today, by the way, Jamie, where he said. Emotions only store in our body when they're attached to a story. So if there's no story, you've had a lot of emotions in your life that don't stick because you didn't attach a story to it. But when you attach a story to it, so that story you tell yourself. So you take it a step further, this is an all time moment on podcast she's about to give you, just so you know, guys, okay?

• 1:14:26Ed Mylett?

  So not only is rejection God's protection, but what else did you eventually uncover? That you realized about what God was doing on your behalf in that rejection? In terms of hiding something from you. You guys, listen, your life's about to change in this next one minute right here. Because if you can adapt this true belief system, it's not only a belief, it's a truth about your life. Your life's about to be very different, including mine, the first time I heard it, so go for it.

• 1:14:52Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah, if you're someone that, you know, you are holding on to pain from a past relationship, a past failure, mistakes that you've made, someone who did you wrong, somebody, the job you didn't get, the thing that's not going your way, whatever it might be, the partner that screwed you over, whatever it is, right? This definition of rejection is probably the most common one I applied in my life right now, every single, almost every single day, Ed. Because sometimes, you know what, a friend doesn't invite you to coffee or include you in a group and it hurts your feelings, right? Whatever it might be. This is now what I believe most commonly when rejection happens in my life.

• 1:15:34Jamie Kern Lima?

  I imagine my Creator, God, saying, oh, no, no, no, you weren't rejected. I hid your value from them because they're not assigned to your destiny. And I believe that, right? When things don't go my way right now, when someone, you know, doesn't give me the thing or want me there or include me in the room, whatever it might be, I, or doesn't get me for some reason. Have you ever tried to make someone just, you want to connect with them so bad, you want them to like you and they just don't? Whatever it might be, I believe this through my core and it has changed my life that I always now hear God saying to me, oh, no, no, you're not rejected, you weren't rejected, I hid your value from them because they're not assigned to your destiny.

• 1:16:19Ed Mylett?

  It's one of the all time greatest things I've ever heard and I wish every human being. Could hear it, and I hope you can share this everybody this episode. I want my daughter to know that. I want my daughter to know it so badly that when you walk in a room and a boy doesn't notice you like you'd like them to. Or you don't get invited to something, or you get rejected in a sale down the road in your life. Or if you're in a relationship and somebody leaves you. God had started to hide your value from them.

• 1:16:44Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yes.

• 1:16:45Ed Mylett?

  And I'm telling you at 52, and Jamie can tell you as a much younger woman than I am, but having a lot of success in her life. It is so profoundly true that that's what God's doing. He is protecting you in that moment by either hiding your value or taking the perception of your value away when they once did. And sometimes in life, to get you out of a relationship, or out of a company, or out of a job you have, and you've been fired.

• 1:17:08Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yes.

• 1:17:09Ed Mylett?

  You've been fired.

• 1:17:10Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yes.

• 1:17:11Ed Mylett?

  Maybe they used to value you, and now they don't, and God's removed that value from them to protect you.

• 1:17:15Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yes.

• 1:17:16Ed Mylett?

  It's so beautifully true. I didn't mean to interrupt you, but I just want to say it.

• 1:17:20Jamie Kern Lima?

  It's so true, yeah. And I love what you said earlier. Share this episode with anyone who needs to hear this.

• 1:17:26Ed Mylett?

  How has serving people helped you? It's not in any of the things we were going to talk about, but you know, probably more than anybody you know, and certainly in your case more than anybody I know, like, we're really doing whatever this is we're doing.

• 1:17:36Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:37Ed Mylett?

  For service, for you and I. Neither one of us financially have a need to do it. I gave away all the proceeds from my book. You're doing the same thing.

• 1:17:44Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:44Ed Mylett?

  So when the water got turned off, you know what I had to do? I had to look around my life. I really had to take an inventory, not just of me, but what was around my life. And the fact of the matter was, I did not have the right people in my life. I didn't have the people who believed in me. I didn't have the people who supported my vision. I didn't have people who made me want to be better in my life. I had a few, but I didn't have enough. I had too many people in my life that have just always been in my life. They always accepted me for who I was. And that acceptance, that lack of belief in me, that lack of standard, got me all the way to where I couldn't even pay a water bill. I didn't even have a car. Never mind electricity for a while. And so, it's very dangerous. It was very dangerous for me, for who I allowed just to support my limiting thinking, who I had around me.

• 1:18:29Ed Mylett?

  They weren't bad people. There's very few bad people. They just weren't people who were going to get me going in my life where I knew I needed to go, where I was Born to go. I had read all the books on personal development. I learned about influence. Kind of learned how to change my state, how to think differently. Been to a lot of the events that you go to. Why is it that so many people go to all these self-improvement, personal development, business events? They get all excited when they're there. They're ready to conquer the world. Then they get back home and life very slowly starts to drift back to normal. And that's because environment overrides almost everything in our lives. That's why. And so, the reason you're so excited when you're at the event, the reason you're ready to conquer the world is the environment supports what you're doing. And so, I had to start to address my environment. And environment is the place you are.

• 1:19:13Ed Mylett?

  But most importantly, your environment is the people that are around you. Because, write this down, number one. In our lives, the most powerful force that I'm aware of in the world is to be consistent and congruent with the expectations of our peer group. Let me say that to you again. The most powerful force on earth is we become consistent with the expectations of our peer group. You're going to get out of life what the people around you expect of you. And so, I had to begin to address, who were the people around me? And specifically, what was the environment that I was in? Because, number two, proximity is power. The closer somebody is to you, the more influence they have over you. That's why your personal relationship that you're in is something that must be evaluated at all given times. And people ask me, how do I get more spouse support, or partner support, boyfriend or girlfriend support?

• 1:19:58Ed Mylett?

  I don't know that you're always going to get more support, and I don't even know that that's needed. But one thing that's a foundation of all relationships is, does this person believe in me? Most people love us. That's one thing. If we're in a relationship, we kind of feel a level of love. But the deeper question is, do they truly believe in me? And when I started to evaluate my friends that were around me, if I asked myself, were they supporting where I wanted to go in my life? Not that they didn't love me or like me. In fact, what most of us do is, we love to have people around us who accept us. We say, I want people to accept me as I am. And there's a benefit to that. There's a huge negative as well. If people are constantly accepting this version of you, there's nothing compelling you to go to the next version. There's no stimulus that says, I better change. There's no discomfort.

• 1:20:42Ed Mylett?

  Because these people closest to us, their proximity has influence over us. So, number one thing I want you to ask yourself is, do the people around me believe in me? And if they don't, that needs to be evaluated. People say, well, then what do I do? Do I get rid of them? Well, maybe, in some case, I mean if they're antagonistic to you, certainly. But what you have to do is begin to add people in your proximity who do believe in you, or who will believe in you. And if they don't believe in you, perhaps they don't need to be eliminated from your life, but one thing you may need to do is start to reduce their proximity to you. Maybe they're not as close to you as they used to be. I've had to do that many times in my life where I've had to eliminate a few people from my life, but very few. This is so critical to you becoming successful because your environmental game is more important even than your mental game because it's what supports it.

• 1:21:28Ed Mylett?

  And so I want you to evaluate a few things. Do they believe in me? Number two, are they a past or future reference type friend? In other words, when you're around them, what do you find yourself talking the most about? Is it the past or the future? I want to be around people who are constantly talking about either the present, but most importantly, the future. In other words, I want people who are present with me so that when they're with me, we're together. You know you have those friends too who are constantly not present even though they're in your presence. We don't want that either. But if people are constantly taking me in the past frame of reference, old stories, old things, remember when? High school, college, previous date, previous vacation, previous business, remember when? Constantly, you know, they're just always reminiscing.

• 1:22:12Ed Mylett?

  Or are they projecting me into the future? If at least 75% of your conversations aren't about the future with the people that you're around, these are not people supporting your future, they're supporting your past. They're reinforcing your past. The more we talk about something, the more we reinforce its importance in our life. And so this is a very subtle thing, and I think even as I say it, you're going, whoa, they do love me, I think they might believe in me, but man, we talk about the past all the time. Well, this is somebody who's going to reinforce that state of your life. You need to add people to your proximity who are discussing the future with you. You know, you've heard about triggers before where you can learn in personal development that, you know, you snap your fingers, you put yourself in a state, or you walk, you hear a song, it's a trigger, isn't it?

• 1:22:55Ed Mylett?

  You hear a song from some point in your life, it triggers a memory. Or a song you love right now that triggers you wanting to work out or move your body. So, things are triggers. People are also triggers. And if there are people in your life, just by their proximity, trigger events that are prior in your life that didn't serve you. Just by being around them, they're a trigger. Humans are triggers. Do you have people that just when you see them, they trigger peace for you? They trigger joy. They trigger abundance. They trigger competing. They trigger intensity. They trigger belief. They trigger confidence. They trigger your desire to grow. Ask yourself what triggers these people are in your life. What do they trigger in you? And you begin to, you start to look at these things, you're going, wow.

• 1:23:38Ed Mylett?

  Well, I have this group of friends who, they accept me, but I don't know if they believe in me. Then I've got this other group of friends where they believe in me, but we're always talking about the past. And then you know what? They kind of trigger these states of sort of comfort or average in me. Who do I have that's triggering my desire to grow? Who makes me uncomfortable? Who do I have, like, I kind of clean up the house before they come over. Who do I have where I get excited when I see them because not every conversation's the same? I don't know where it's gonna go. You should have those people that accept you in your life. There's nothing wrong with that. It's an important thing. But you should have these other people who really don't accept this version of you. They believe in you so greatly, so much, that they don't accept this version of you. They don't accept this performance from you.

• 1:24:21Ed Mylett?

  They don't accept this level of happiness, abundance, joy, performance from you, because they know how much more you're capable of. Who do you have like that in your life? And the reason that that matters so deeply for us is because, and I want you to write this down, we get our standards in life. We don't always get our goals. We don't always even get what we focus on. We end up ultimately getting what our standards are. Standards dictate everything in life. And the people around us help create that standard. For example, I was at a birthday party last night, and the people sitting around me were all very fit people. And dessert came. It was birthday cake time. And I probably normally would have probably had that piece of cake. But the first three people that were asked

• 1:25:04Ed Mylett?

  have this standard for how they eat in their life and when their cheat days are, their cheat meals are. And all three people passed on it. And immediately, almost through peer pressure, I went, no, I'll pass. And then my buddy goes, "Dude, it's okay. Have a piece." And I said, "No, no, no, man. It's good." That standard alters us in every little area. Now, that's an obvious example. But we're going to get our standards, our standards of wealth, our standards of faith, our standards of abundance. And the people in our proximity help set the standard based on what theirs are in their life. So the people around you, evaluate next. What are the standards they help you set in your life? The other thing we win with is energy. And so ask yourself this. Is this person in my life an energy giver or an energy drainer? This is massive.

• 1:25:49Ed Mylett?

  So when you're talking to them, do they feed you energy? You know, there's that one number where it shows up on your phone. And you're like, "Oh, ugh." Right? You know that conversation, that text, is going to be an energy drain. This person's proximity to your life is stealing some things from you. I'm not saying you shouldn't have people in your life who you're supporting and you're helping, because we're going to talk about that next. But if the vast majority of people around you are energy neutral or energy drainers, what do you think that's doing to your environment that you're supporting yourself with? Okay? Or, on the contrary, is this someone who gives you energy, feeds your energy, feeds your belief, makes you stronger, gives you that juice in your life? Because all of these things, these people around us, all these evaluations, they're creating our environment so that it'll support our thinking,

• 1:26:34Ed Mylett?

  it'll support the changes we're making, it'll support our goals. This is supported by scripture as well. Proverbs 27:17, "As iron sharpens iron, so does one person sharpen another." And so one of the obvious questions about this is, if someone is lower energy for me, or is a past reference person, or a trigger that doesn't support me, or they don't believe in me, or they only accept me as I am. If you have some of these issues, what do you do with them? I'll give you three things. I don't think you just eliminate people from your lives. It's not that hardcore a thing. Because this is more about adding the right people than it is eliminating people. But it is reducing their proximity. And so I think with people in your life that aren't supporting you the way you want to, number one, I would recommend you be kind to them. Be kind in your conversations with them.

• 1:27:17Ed Mylett?

  You don't have to become mean to them or adversarial to them. And I don't even think you need to let them know this. Number two, I think you need to be cordial. I will tell you that you begin to become three, which is concise. Your dialogue with them begins to be concise. Their proximity to you begins to shrink. And these are things people say, "Gosh, that's so difficult." Well, do you want to be happier? Do you want to win? I mean, you've already tried the other things, right? You've already started to write goals down. You're already working on yourself. You already got some habits that you're working on. Maybe this is the area. Perhaps this is the area. Those of you that have children, this is an audio or video they should be watching or listening to. Their schoolteachers influence them, that's their mentors. That's like what we're doing right now, right? But who really has influence over your children? Who really sculpts who they are? It's their friends, and it's their closest friends.

• 1:28:01Ed Mylett?

  That's why parents guard those associations so vigilantly, the good parents do. Because they know the proximity of these kids around their children are going to influence ultimately who they become. Our lives begin to have a pace that's different than when we're young. But the same exact thing is true for us. These people closest to us dictate who we become. It's not our mentors like our schoolteachers. They have some influence. I have influence, hopefully with you. But not the same as the people that you're texting with when you're done listening to this. Not the same as who you're having dinner with tonight. Not the same as who you have lunch, who you're around at work, who you're around in the evening, who you socialize with, right? They have the greatest form of influence over you. Because in your life, you're trying to build this library of memories, aren't you? And in your mind right now, these memories are going to be different.

• 1:28:45Ed Mylett?

  They're different places, different experiences, different things, right? Different moments, different achievements, different breakthroughs, different feelings. With the same people? With the same people. With the same people, you are likely to build the same types of memories over and over again. So if you love your life right now, if everything in your life is rich, and you don't want it to change, and you don't want it to grow, and you'd like to keep repeating these memories you're getting now, well then by all means, keep these people very close to you. And add people as you go. But if there's this part of this, "I want to change the memories." I don't want the next 10 years of my life, the feelings, the experiences, the accomplishments, the places I see, moments I have. So all I'm asking you to do today is do an audit on your environment.

• 1:29:29Ed Mylett?

  I want you to audit the people around you in your environment and the things around you in your environment. What do you have around you? In your environment, are your goals up on a board? Do you have visualizations? Are you reading things that you can see visually in your life? Are you listening to the right things? These are all part of your environment, but the most important thing are the people that are inside that environment that are around you. And so that's how you eliminate. Now, adding people to your life, the best way to do that is to seek out, go to places where they are. So, I mean, where do they have lunch? Where do they have coffee? Where do they work out? Where do they worship? Go to the places where these people that you think could help you to become good friends and just become a part of that environment. And the more you're in the environment, you'll end up meeting people. It's a strategy, it's work to add people to your life. I could tell you that I work very hard at this.

• 1:30:13Ed Mylett?

  I also believe in the law of reciprocity. You don't just ask somebody to be your friend, you find a way that you can contribute. You want to become a friend of mine, say, "How can I help you? How can I serve you?" Just offer whatever you have. You say, "Well, I don't have anything to offer people." You'd be surprised. Could you offer me your belief in me? Could you offer me your truth? Could you offer me your prayers? Could you offer me your support? These are real gifts you give people. Not all of them need to be knowledge and breakthroughs and an example and a track record. You'd be surprised, someone like myself, what just your belief means to me, your support means to me. And I'm the type of person, the people you want in your life, when I feel like you've given me something, I feel obligated, obligated to pay you back even more. And so the way you add people to your life is with the law of reciprocity.

• 1:30:57Ed Mylett?

  Put yourself in environments where they are and begin to offer your belief, your kindness, your support, your love. Maybe it is your collaborations, maybe it is your connections, maybe it is a talent or skill you have, but it doesn't have to be those things. When I was a young person, I ended up adding people to my life that were much more successful than me, much more well-known than me. But you know what? As I got to know them, I think they sensed, "This person truly believes in me. They truly care about me. This is a real friend." You have those people in your life as well, where they don't necessarily have the, all the experience to support you, but they really believe in you, they really love you. And then the last thing I want to ask you today is, because for you to add these people to your life, what I just said is the most important thing. How do you show up in people's lives? How do you show up in people's lives?

• 1:31:40Ed Mylett?

  Right now, are you that person that's an energy giver or drainer? Are you a future frame of reference or the past? Do you hope your friends set high standards or the acceptable standards they already have? Right? Are you someone who deeply believes in people and they know it? Or you just kind of accept them as they are. These are the things you begin to ask yourself. How are you showing up in other people's lives? Because that'll have an awful lot to do with who shows up in your life. How do you show up in other people's lives? And if you begin to evaluate these things, your environment slowly but surely will begin to support, your mental game will be supported by your environmental game. And why is that so important? Because I want to remind you about something. You were born to do something great with your life. You were put here to do something special.

• 1:32:23Ed Mylett?

  All your life, since you were a little boy or a little girl, there was some point in your life where you knew you were supposed to do something great. That you were put here for a reason. That you've got a calling. That you've got a home in your life you're eventually gonna find, where you're living the real, true, authentic version of you. Your best version. You know you're supposed to do something great with your life. And right now, if you're listening to this or you're watching this, maybe you're not quite there yet. And maybe it's your thinking. Maybe it's some tactics and strategies and habits, which I cover all the time on this show. Maybe it's all the mental stuff. But more than likely, it's the environmental stuff. It's the standards. It's the people around you that believe in you. It's not just having people that accept you. Because you want to do something so great with your life. I have this theory that many of you have heard,

• 1:33:07Ed Mylett?

  that when I die someday, I believe, I want the Lord to say, "Well done, good and faithful servant." But I have this hallucination, as many of you know, that when I die, the Lord's gonna do that. And he's gonna turn around and say, "Eddie, I want you to meet the man I made you to be. When I made you in my image and likeness, this is the destiny version of you. This is the man you were born to be." And that guy's gonna be standing there. And I want to meet him and go, "I've been chasing you all my life, man." And he's gonna say, "Boy, you caught me. You did it. I'm proud of you. You had all the memories, all the moments, all the contribution, all the feelings, all the difference, all of it in your life. You made it all happen. You became the man you were born to be." We're identical twins. To me, that's heaven when I pass away. Heaven is I meet the man I was born to be and we're identical twins.

• 1:33:50Ed Mylett?

  Hell would be that you'd meet that person and you're total strangers. You're total strangers. That woman someday, when you die and you meet the woman you could have been, and you're total strangers. You went down different paths, different roads, different decisions your entire life, and you never become that woman. You never become that man. To me, that's hell. So if it's that important to you, that you've always known, and maybe it got buried as you got older. Maybe life sort of kicked us around a little bit to where not everyone in our life believed it. And then maybe our parents, our friends, our schoolteachers, just life started to happen and we forget who we are. We forget who we are. And you know why you forget who you are? Because of the people that have been in your damn life. Because they haven't supported that great version of you. When you were really little, you knew it. You felt it because you were closer to God at that time.

• 1:34:35Ed Mylett?

  And the more and more people were added to your life, they began to treat you in such a way that they didn't expect those things of you. And maybe you've started to accept that. So if it's people that created these limiting beliefs, created this anxiety, created this fear, created this thing about us where we forget our greatness. If it's people who did this to us, it's people who are going to help us get out of it. If it's the environment that stole this joy, stole this belief, stole this confidence from us, stole this sense of purpose from us and passion, it's the environment that'll give it back to us again. And we put the people in our lives that we deserve to have, not just that have always been there.