Shawn Ryan: There's A Battle For Your Soul, It's Happening Right Now

What happens when the relentless pursuit of adrenaline leads to losing your soul in the process? Shawn Ryan reveals the hidden psychological toll of ambition, the dark side of psychedelics, and the ultimate price of true alignment. Shawn Ryan is a former U. S. Navy SEAL, CIA contractor, and the creator of The Shawn Ryan Show, one of the most influential and widely watched independent podcasts. After transitioning from elite military service and dangerous covert operations into media, he has built an expansive platform known for raw unfiltered conversations. In this episode, he explains: ■ The Adrenaline Trap: How former elite operators often suffer from severe post-service depression because normal civilian life cannot replicate the neurological highs of combat. ■ The Psychedelic Nightmare: Why an intensive ibogaine treatment designed to optimize his mental state instead opened a terrifying portal to the spiritual realm and severe supernatural oppression. ■ The Cost of Alignment: Genuine personal transformation demands going through a shedding phase, in which you consciously step away from profitable ad deals, social networks, and short term incentives to stay true to your values. ■ The Illusion of the Herd: Authentic, lasting achievement relies entirely on nurturing a unique voice anchored in personal belief, while imitating results in creative paralysis. ■ The Ultimate Priority: Chasing ambition eventually demands sacrificing family time, demonstrating that no amount of business success can make up for absence in your children's lives. Chapters 00:00:00 Intro 00:02:26 What Made Shawn Ryan? 00:03:38 What Separates a Navy SEAL From the Rest of the Military 00:06:09 What Really Happened During Operation Red Wings 00:08:44 How Becoming a Navy SEAL Changed Him 00:09:54 Are Podcasters Being Compromised by Planted Guests? 00:18:25 Did He Endorse Trump? 00:20:19 Has His Opinion on Trump Changed? 00:21:20 How the Military Feels About Deployment to Iran 00:22:30 Would America Be Better Off If Democrats Had Won? 00:29:19 Why the 2028 Election Matters to Him 00:32:48 Why He Deletes Podcast Episodes 00:37:20 Ads 00:39:47 Why He Moved to Colombia After Contracting 00:39:58 Did He Get Involved With Drug Networks in Colombia? 00:42:04 What Happened With the Police in Colombia? 00:46:49 Was Colombia Enough to Make Him Get Clean? 00:47:46 The Turning Point That Changed Everything 00:49:56 Why Going to Therapy Was So Difficult 00:51:02 Why He Turned to Psychedelic Therapy 00:54:14 What Is Ibogaine and Why Did He Take It? 00:57:16 The Hell He Experienced During Ibogaine 01:00:01 What Happened During His Psychedelic Experience 01:00:59 How That Experience Changed His Life 01:08:23 Ads 01:09:32 What Is an Exorcism and What Actually Happens? 01:11:44 How His Experiences Affected His Family 01:19:23 Had Supernatural Things Happened Before? 01:21:34 What He Thinks About Sponsors Walking Away 01:34:36 What Is Glacier and Why Does It Matter? Follow Shawn Ryan: YouTube: https://link.thediaryofaceo.com/DoJWKmI Instagram: https://link.thediaryofaceo.com/AKYL4qQ X: https://link.thediaryofaceo.com/Fofoug4 Glacier App: https://link.thediaryofaceo.com/APvONfo - (20% off for the first 3 months) The Diary Of A CEO: ◼ Join DOAC circle here - https://doaccircle.com/ ◼ Buy The Diary Of A CEO book here - https://link.thediaryofaceo.com/BWjLTZK ◼ Shop The Diary Of A CEO collection: https://thediary.com/collections/shop ◼ Get email updates - https://link.thediaryofaceo.com/5IB1H6E ◼ Follow Steven - https://link.thediaryofaceo.com/AGU9QP4 Sponsors: Shopify - https://shopify.com/bartlett Ketone - https://ketone.com/STEVEN for 30% off your subscription order

• 0:01Speaker 00

  Running a small business can feel a lot like being alone at sea. And too often, you're not steering the ship yourself. You're getting dragged underneath all of the admin, things like offer letters, onboarding, wages, payroll, filing taxes and health insurance.

• 0:17Speaker 00

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• 0:59Speaker 01

  I know I did, and it was more real than anything I've experienced. It was the most amount of fear I'd ever felt in my life. My body was contorted. It was doing things that the human body shouldn't do.

• 1:11Speaker 00

  Do you think you were possessed? Because subsequently you've had several exorcisms.

• 1:14Speaker 01

  Yes, the things that are happening are just undeniable.

• 1:17Speaker 00

  What happened?

• 1:18Speaker 01

  I'll tell you what I experienced.

• 1:19Speaker 00

  Just before we get into all of that, you have lived a remarkable life.

• 1:22Speaker 01

  I was in the US Navy, went to Iraq, Haiti, Afghanistan and done some insane missions. I mean, you learn a lot of critical life lessons, but there's another side too. I mean, you get addicted to those type of environments, adrenaline.

• 1:36Speaker 00

  And after your CIA contracting role, you moved to Medellin, Colombia?

• 1:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was probably the most dangerous thing I'd ever done.

• 1:43Speaker 00

  Did you get involved in the drug dealing networks?

• 1:46Speaker 01

  Yes, I never really dealt. It was more setting up the network, figuring out who the players are that gave me the rush. There's not very many people that can pull some like that off. But then this guy Freddie, he said, the police were after me. They had planted a bug in the light fixture outside of my door and then they.

• 2:05Speaker 00

  You now have built one of the biggest podcasts on planet earth.

• 2:08Speaker 01

  Yes, but my show will not appear in popular podcasts because it's something that I was saying a long time ago, it had to do with.

• 2:15Speaker 00

  That is very fucking weird. Do you think podcasters are being compromised by guests being planted on their shows or in other ways?

• 2:21Speaker 01

  Yes, here's one example. Trump administration crushed it in the election cycle, right? Really utilize the podcast. They saw the power of it. It was a great tactic. And so I think that they have people inside of all the platforms that we use. And this has happened to me because one time I had a guy come on and we can talk about that.

• 2:37Speaker 00

  And you endorsed Trump before the election?

• 2:39Speaker 01

  I wanted him to win.

• 2:40Speaker 00

  Have you changed your opinion on Trump now?

• 2:42Speaker 01

  Oh yeah, for a multitude of reasons. I probably shouldn't even say this, but.

• 2:49Speaker 00

  Guys, I've got a favor to ask before this episode begins. The algorithm, if you follow a show will deliver you the best episodes from that show very prominently in your feed. So when we have our best episodes on this show, the most shared episodes, the most rated episodes, I would love you to know. And the simple way for you to know that is to hit that follow button. But also it's the simple, easy, free thing that you can do to help us make this show better. I would be hugely grateful if you could take a minute on the app you're listening to this on right now and hit that follow button. Thank you so, so, so much.

• 3:24Speaker 00

  Sean Ryan, you have lived a remarkable life for so many different reasons. And I feel like you've lived several different lives as well, dare I say. But for anybody that might not be familiar with your smash hit show and your incredible journey through the military, can you give me a, a top line on the career that you've had before you got into podcasting for those that might not know?

• 3:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, joined the US Navy. It, I think I enlisted at age 17, went straight to into the Navy SEAL program, went to BUDS, went to SEAL teammate, spent five and a half years in the Navy and then left that, became a real estate agent. I had read a book by Donald Trump way back then on, this is a, how to get rich. It inspired me to become an entrepreneur and failed miserably. So then I looked at government contracting, started contracting for central intelligence agencies, started a small state department gig, got picked up for the CIA contract, did that through Blackwater, then jumped over to a company called SOT and then wound up

• 4:32Speaker 01

  getting picked up, direct contractor for the agency with no middleman.

• 4:35Speaker 00

  And you said in that you wanted to be a Navy SEAL. Now for, for international audiences that might not know what a Navy SEAL is relative to just like being in the army, what is the distinction?

• 4:46Speaker 01

  A Navy SEAL stands for sea, air and land. So you operate in the sea, air and the land. It's special operations. So it is one of the most prolific special operation units in the world. You go through a training pipeline that's a couple of years long. You go through BUDS, which if you make it without getting hurt or without getting rolled back, that's six months. I didn't make it without rolling back. So I think I spent about nine months there. Then you go to jump school, then you go to SQT SEAL qualification training, which is kind of where they turn you into, I guess I shouldn't say they turn you into a special operator, but, but that's the, the final school.

• 5:26Speaker 01

  Then you get your SEAL trident and then you spend another year or two, year and a half training at your SEAL team before you ever even get the opportunity to, to deploy for the country. Diving, jumping, land warfare, demolition, small unit tactics, lots of time in a kill house, lots of time in land warfare, all different operational environments, desert, winter, jungle, you name it, we're in it.

• 5:54Speaker 00

  Is it equivocal to the SAS, which is like the British version of the special operations team?

• 5:59Speaker 01

  I would say, yeah, SAS or SPS.

• 6:02Speaker 00

  Okay. And you must've seen some pretty horrific, interesting, unforgettable things while you were on those tours of duties around the world.

• 6:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. I've worked in a lot of different environments.

• 6:16Speaker 01

  The first thing I ever saw that was, that, that, that was warfare-ish. It wasn't really hot. I thought it was hot at the time, but 2004, we went to Haiti when Aristide got pulled out of power. It was the first time I'd really seen true poverty. And I don't know if you've ever been there, but I mean, you know, the sewage goes right into the streets. All the prisoners had broken out. We, there were dead bodies floating around the water, bullet holes everywhere. Every once in a while I'd see a car on fire. I mean, it was just mass chaos. It really wasn't anything compared to what I would see later on, but, but that was the first place.

• 6:57Speaker 01

  And then Afghanistan, we went there after Operation Red Wings happened. That was the biggest loss in SEAL team history at the time.

• 7:07Speaker 00

  What was Operation Red Wings?

• 7:08Speaker 01

  Have you ever seen the movie Lone Survivor?

• 7:10Speaker 00

  No.

• 7:11Speaker 01

  Okay, there was a sniper element on a mountaintop that was, that was surveilling town that had a high value terrorist in there. And the sniper hide was compromised by a goat herder. Goat herder went back to town and told everybody what he'd seen. And then, and then they ambushed the element up there. Helicopters went down and then there was one guy that survived it. And so it was, it was the biggest loss ever in SEAL team history at the time. That happened in, on June 28th, and I think we were there by late, late September, early October, I believe is when we were there.

• 7:52Speaker 01

  We did some, hit some targets, but they're pretty much all dry holes, grabbed a couple of prisoners, stuff like that. And then we actually went home early and then I went to Iraq. Well, I went to Iraq, my platoon went home. I decided I wanted to get out at that point. It just, for me, it wasn't really what it was, what I thought it was going to be.

• 8:15Speaker 00

  What was it?

• 8:15Speaker 01

  I thought it would be a lot more combat. I wanted to go out every night and do the job, do direct actions, do CQB, do sniper stuff, whatever. I just wanted to work and we weren't getting that in Afghanistan. It was few and far between. And this was oh five timeframe and oh five, oh six timeframe. I can't remember what happened, but the elections were dragging on. And so I had a OIC, which is kind of like the leader of a SEAL platoon. He had found a way to farm us out to conventional units that were getting hit. We're getting hit on supply routes with, with roadside bombs, suicide bombers, stuff like that.

• 9:00Speaker 01

  And so we would attach into these conventional units and train them up. Hey, this is how you, this is how you run surveillance. This is how you come up with a mission, basically. And we would teach him everything from how to plan the mission to how to set up a sniper hide, how to shoot, how to insert, how to exfil, how to position all the different teams. And then we will go out there, we would take them with us and hunt the people that were killing our guys. And every time we went out, we'd, we had killed the bad guys, the terrorists within, within 24 hours of being out there. And then we'd move on to the next unit and that was my last deployment.

• 9:42Speaker 00

  When you came back from the SEAL team, were you a different man?

• 9:45Speaker 01

  Definitely.

• 9:46Speaker 00

  In what way were you changed?

• 9:49Speaker 01

  A lot of ways. You learn a lot of critical life lessons in the SEAL teams and being environments like that. And your personal drive just goes through the roof. What you realize that you can accomplish as a human being is far more than I think what the normal person thinks. Your ability to, to work in stress, in extreme stress goes through the roof. There's another side too. I mean, you get addicted to adrenaline, you get addicted to those type of environments.

• 10:29Speaker 01

  You succumb to the culture that comes with that, which is a lot of drinking, fighting, all those things.

• 10:36Speaker 00

  So you're in the Navy SEALs. You contract with the CIA for a while. And then I guess the other, you know, pretty tremendous accomplishment is you now have built one of the biggest podcasts on planet earth where you interview people just like I do here.

• 10:50Speaker 01

  That is correct.

• 10:51Speaker 00

  Do you think podcasters are being compromised by sort of guests being planted?

• 10:56Speaker 01

  Yes. I have no proof, but yes. And in a, in a couple of different ways. So here's one example, but not just podcast, let's go influencers, not just podcasters. So Trump administration.

• 11:15Speaker 01

  Crushed it in the elections, in the election cycle, right? Different podcasts, they they really utilized the podcast, they saw the power of it, they utilized it. And it was a great tactic. And then afterwards, you know, I think a lot of podcasters and influencers, they felt powerful because, you know, they got close to the president, they got close to the administration. And if you saw what happened, you know, do you remember the first Epstein file release?

• 11:43Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 11:43Speaker 01

  When they had all these people show up and they're holding up the binders and shit. You know, they did not understand that the minute that happened, they were captured.

• 11:53Speaker 00

  Who was?

• 11:54Speaker 01

  Everybody that was in those pictures.

• 11:56Speaker 00

  Oh, okay.

• 11:57Speaker 01

  They can no longer be a free thinker because maybe they are a free thinker. But the appearance that they just gave off is that they are in a tribe, you know? And they were smart to do this and and I've had several invites, I always turn it down because no, I don't know. I'm not doing that.

• 12:14Speaker 00

  Invites to where?

• 12:16Speaker 01

  Invites to wherever.

• 12:17Speaker 00

  The White House.

• 12:18Speaker 01

  Football games, the White House, this, that, you know, public events where you'll be seen, where you'll be photographed, where it looks like everybody's on one team and we're all having a party and we're all friends and all this shit. You know, that's a way to capture what you're doing without you even realizing it and showing the world, hey, look, we have, we have Stephen, we've got him, we've got pictures of him holding binders up, we've got pictures of him at dinners with us, he's on our team. And maybe you didn't want that, but you were so fixated on being close to power that you didn't even realize it was happening. And now those people are all captured. It feels like once in a lifetime stuff.

• 13:01Speaker 01

  Hey, we want you to come, you know, ride on Air Force One, ride on Marine One, do this, do this with us, do this. And I'm not doing any of that shit. I know what this is. You're trying to capture me and put me into a group. You know, you can't allow that to happen. Otherwise you hit a ceiling and and the minute that happens, you've hit the ceiling. And you don't know what kind of decisions these people are going to wind up making later on.

• 13:26Speaker 00

  So that was one of the ways you can be captured.

• 13:28Speaker 01

  That's one of the ways. You're talking about people being inserted into the podcast circuit.

• 13:32Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 13:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think there are definitely people that are in the podcast circuit that are planted, but maybe they don't even know.

• 13:39Speaker 00

  Guests or hosts or both?

• 13:41Speaker 01

  Probably both, you know? But like you said, we were talking about it offline, but yeah, I think there are guests that come out of nowhere and all of a sudden you see these, these people that nobody's ever heard of and they get just unfathomable traction and numbers. But it's not because they have a good life story. It's not because of something miraculous that they've done. It's just they're talking about current events. You know, and I think the way that this works is, you know, you could talk to somebody for two, three, four, five hours. You know, but the mission, you know, the piece of info, it may only be one sentence

• 14:26Speaker 01

  that they know is going to hit.

• 14:30Speaker 01

  That they know, you know, they're hoping gets clipped.

• 14:33Speaker 00

  Or they can clip.

• 14:34Speaker 01

  And then that goes viral. Or maybe we've done something, this has happened to me, these people can come on and they'll make predictions about what's going to happen in different geopolitical events that are going around the world, you know, Ukraine, Israel, Iran, whatever it is, you know, whatever the thing. And then you get a text, you know, hey, you know, I told you this was going to happen. And it's like, you did tell me, how the fuck did you know that? You know, and and it's like, how do you, how do you even remember?

• 15:06Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 15:07Speaker 01

  That you said that because you did 50 shows, you know, you did 50 different podcasts and in a two month span, how do you remember you said that on mine? And when I have things like that happen, I'm like, oh, they got me.

• 15:24Speaker 00

  I wouldn't have believed any of this, like I wouldn't, as an ordinary civilian, I wouldn't have believed any of this stuff even existed until I started learning about the spy organizations around the world. And because I don't, how do I say this? You kind of grow up thinking the world is as it seems. And then you learn, and then you see, I don't know, James Bond and you go, okay, that's a movie. And at some point I realized that these things were actually true, like that there are lots of different sort of spy agencies and networks around the world and they use all these operations, they compromise people, they put them in certain situations, there are people living here in New York City right now that are living lives, we assume are real, they've got families, they've got jobs, they've got businesses, they've got all these things, but they're actually planted from another country.

• 16:08Speaker 00

  And that other country is like funneling the money to support them and prop up a fake life. Like when I learned all these things, I suddenly became very cautious generally about like calling anything a conspiracy. And then you sit here with these spies, I mean, probably you've interviewed a lot of CIA spies. If someone had heard someone saying this on a podcast, I would have thought they were a conspiracy theorist. I would have dismissed it and gone, fuck, idiots. Now, maybe from doing this, no, no, no, no. It makes logical sense to me. Like if I was insert adversary, that's what I would do. I would get insert great podcast guest. I'd get that because I'd know that the minute they have one good podcast performance, every podcast calls them.

• 16:51Speaker 00

  You can do a hundred million views of just one good podcast performance. And can you influence a podcast performance? Can you send traffic to a podcast theoretically? Could you, of course you could.

• 17:01Speaker 01

  I think you can. I think that they, I think that they,

• 17:07Speaker 01

  I think that they have people inside of all the platforms that we use. Here's an example, I started talking about a certain subject very early on. And I'm not going to say we got shadow banned, but there was a lot, I'm still not even in the top most, what is that section in YouTube, the most popular podcasts? We're number three on Spotify today, we've been the number one on YouTube several different times. But I can't get into the, my, my show will not appear in popular podcasts. Because it's something that I was saying a long time ago, it was, it had to do with terrorism.

• 17:43Speaker 00

  Oh, this section?

• 17:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:46Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 17:46Speaker 01

  You'll never see mine in there. We get like a hundred and fifty to two hundred million views a month.

• 17:54Speaker 01

  It's not in there.

• 17:55Speaker 00

  Yeah, you've got more US views this week than Rogan has.

• 17:59Speaker 01

  God, isn't it? But anyways, so I think that there are people inside, you know, and I'm not saying that the companies even know. You know, because that's how, that's how this game works, this is the intelligence work is, you know, is the primary job, but the cover is, oh, I'm just an employee at YouTube. You know what I mean? Oh, I'm just an employee at Meta, oh, I'm just an employee at TikTok, oh, I'm just an employee. But it's a mole inside the organization that nobody really realizes is happening.

• 18:33Speaker 01

  You know, Annie Jacobson calls it speculative narratives instead of conspiracy theories.

• 18:39Speaker 00

  Speculative narrative.

• 18:41Speaker 01

  Speculative narratives, I love that.

• 18:43Speaker 00

  I mean, she knows a lot about conspiracy theories herself, I mean, she's like basically studied and proven a lot of them aren't conspiracies, so

• 18:50Speaker 00

  I'm guessing she, she's saying that in a way that is supportive of the idea that these speculative narratives are often true.

• 18:57Speaker 01

  I'm not complaining, I have a great, I have a great partnership with YouTube, I love, they've been great to me. You know what I mean? I don't really give a shit if I'm in that or not, I just find it very odd that we're not, you know? It's just like, well, this doesn't make much sense.

• 19:14Speaker 00

  I think with all platforms, there is, there's a, there's a human element where there's someone at the office picking. I mean, that's the case with all, it seems to be the case with all these platforms. Did you endorse Trump before he, before the election?

• 19:26Speaker 01

  I was supportive of him, I wanted him to win. I don't think I gave any official endorsements or anything, I did get put in that, that sphere. What nobody remembers is I've, I offered the Democratic Party, I mean, you can look it up, I think it's on the Washington Post, and we were talking to Kamala's team, I wanted to have her on, I wanted to have everybody on.

• 19:46Speaker 00

  So they said no, Kamala Harris's team said no.

• 19:49Speaker 01

  They said no, but it wasn't just a hard no, we were talking about it, we were coming up with an outline. They, I had all these things that I wanted to talk about, they said, well, we don't want to talk about that, we don't want to, I said, I'll tell you what, you guys just tell me what you, I don't care what you want to talk about, I know I can hold my own. So you, you give me the topics and I'll develop the outline, how about that?

• 20:11Speaker 00

  And when Trump came on, was there anything he didn't want to talk about?

• 20:13Speaker 01

  There were no guidelines.

• 20:15Speaker 00

  I think this should be a little bit of a, sort of a lesson for the Democratic Party about how to navigate in this, these environments.

• 20:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, they're learning.

• 20:23Speaker 00

  When Kamala came on my show, which was after the election and after she'd lost and all that stuff, no guidelines.

• 20:28Speaker 01

  Oh, really?

• 20:29Speaker 00

  Zero.

• 20:30Speaker 01

  That's good.

• 20:30Speaker 00

  She didn't tell me there was anything I couldn't talk about, but I think at that point she had, they had nothing to lose. I actually think at that point she didn't even have the same team anymore.

• 20:37Speaker 01

  That's good.

• 20:38Speaker 00

  She came in, she was, in my view, she was honest, she, she said, Joe Biden kind of screwed me over, she was swearing. There was none of this sort of like cookie cutter, polished politician.

• 20:48Speaker 01

  You got the real thing.

• 20:49Speaker 00

  She just was super relaxed.

• 20:51Speaker 01

  That's good.

• 20:52Speaker 00

  And I just wish it offered that side of her to shows like yours beforehand, because it would have been good to see the comparison.

• 20:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's what I wanted to do, you know, and I, I had RFK on when he was still running as an independent. But yeah, we, we got very close to Kamala and then at the last minute, they backed out. I wish it would have happened. I don't think it would have changed the outcome, but um, but I wish it would have happened.

• 21:17Speaker 00

  Have you changed your opinion on Trump now?

• 21:19Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 21:20Speaker 00

  Really?

• 21:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:21Speaker 00

  Why?

• 21:23Speaker 01

  Oh, man, for, just for.

• 21:26Speaker 01

  Multitude of reasons. I'm just, you know, to put it plainly, I'm not really happy about anything that's happening right now. I think he's totally gone against what he said he was gonna do. And what do you think? Are you happy?

• 21:41Speaker 00

  I'm not an American, so I tend to like trying, you know, but I think, I mean, one of the things I think a lot about is this situation in Iran and how much of a blunder that appears to be. I, you know, I don't know a ton about the military or war conflict, but logically, I can't reason my way out of that situation. Like, I can't find a good outcome at this point to what's going on there. And because you have been a service person, you served, uh, served for America. I was curious to get your perspective on what you think is going on there. And do you see a, a golden bridge or a positive outcome?

• 22:17Speaker 01

  No.

• 22:17Speaker 00

  No.

• 22:18Speaker 01

  I, I don't, at this point, I, I don't, I don't know what's going on there anymore. Nothing seems to make any damn sense to me. I don't think there's any positive outcome for America.

• 22:28Speaker 00

  When you talk to your former colleagues in the military, what's the general sentiment around the deployment and the situation there?

• 22:36Speaker 01

  They think that they are involved for, for another country's interests.

• 22:42Speaker 00

  Whose interests is it for?

• 22:45Speaker 01

  I think Israel probably has the majority of the interest here.

• 22:48Speaker 00

  I sat with J D Vance, he said that, you know, we're the, he said, we're the, we're the senior partner, but it sounds like your colleagues are saying that maybe that's not necessarily the case.

• 22:56Speaker 01

  It doesn't seem like that's the case to me.

• 22:58Speaker 00

  Do you buy the narrative that Trump invaded or started the war for reasons related to nuclear weapons?

• 23:06Speaker 01

  No.

• 23:07Speaker 00

  No. What do you think the real reason is, Sean?

• 23:10Speaker 01

  I don't know. You know, anything I say would just be speculative, but I don't think they're for our interests.

• 23:17Speaker 00

  And so why would Trump be sucked into doing something for a non-American country's interests?

• 23:24Speaker 01

  That's a great question. I don't know the answer to.

• 23:27Speaker 00

  Do you think America would be better off if the Democrats had won?

• 23:31Speaker 01

  I think that

• 23:35Speaker 01

  these are

• 23:38Speaker 01

  seemingly more and more to be one and the same.

• 23:42Speaker 00

  And this is why you're sort of retracting from politics is because you're sort of, it sounded like you're a bit disillusioned by all of these candidates.

• 23:50Speaker 01

  Yeah. I've had, I mean, I just

• 23:54Speaker 01

  pretty much every one of them that I've had on is just lied straight to my face.

• 23:58Speaker 00

  Really?

• 23:59Speaker 01

  And to everybody who watches. You know what I'm interested in is, is I think that there is a possibility that maybe it's already happened, but I think that there's a possibility that America may no longer be the superpower or will not be shortly. For a multitude of reasons. I mean, if you look at, you know, the, the power that, that China's power structure, nuclear, they're going nuclear. And we're still batting around this shit here in America. Should we go nuclear? What are we gonna do about our power grid? And the petrodollar, I mean, you've had, what's that guy's name? He does a great breakdown on it. Professor, the game theory guy.

• 24:41Speaker 00

  Yeah. Professor Chung.

• 24:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, he does a great breakdown of it. And I mean, when you think about it, it's like, holy shit. And, and you think about everybody that we've pissed off, you know, in America, I mean, like Canada, for example. You know, they wanted to pipe in, what is it, Keystone Pipeline? Biden said, no, they don't want it. Trump says, so they start to make deals with other countries, China. Now Trump is penalizing him for it. I can't remember the exact tariffs, but it went from somewhere around 25% to 50% to 100% to, you know, whatever. But we're penalizing them. And it's like, shit, man, four years ago or less, they wanted to pipe it in.

• 25:26Speaker 01

  Now we've got this new guy, he want, and now we're gonna penalize him because they're not gonna pipe it in. And they're looking at us like, these people are fucking crazy. They're like dealing with a schizophrenic. How do you do business with that? I mean, as a business owner, as an entrepreneur, you can't do business with, with, with an entity like that. You can't. And I think the whole world is, is seeing this, you know, because it's happening to damn near the whole world.

• 25:57Speaker 01

  Except one country, Israel.

• 26:02Speaker 01

  But everybody else, you know, we're destroying our relationships with. And, and yeah, does, does the US, you know, put in the majority of the money and take them, you know, like put in the majority of the risk, you know, with a lot of the things. Yes, we do. But we still need allies, you know, and, and you can't just shit and ruin everybody's trade infrastructure and oil trade and, and, and penalize people for making changes for some, for something that they tried to do earlier, you know, with you. And it's happening all over the world. And so one of the things that I'm interested in, uh, that I'm looking for is I want to start talking to,

• 26:43Speaker 01

  I started with the UK, I want to talk about when, you know, what did it look like for the UK when, when the US took the, the superpowership? You know, back in World War II, what did that actually look like? Because all we hear is all this doom and gloom and, you know, oh, you know, it's gonna be lawless, it's gonna, you know, our currency is gonna go to zero. But that, that all might happen. It might. I don't know. I'm not. But it might be, maybe it's, I don't know, maybe it's a good thing. Was it that bad in the UK when? So I want to bring on a historian to actually find out what, what exactly did that look like? I'll tell you one thing, if we do lose it, it's gonna take a lot of these, a lot of PAC money, you know, out of US politics.

• 27:26Speaker 01

  It's gonna, you know, hopefully force politicians to actually look at our country

• 27:32Speaker 01

  and, and concentrate on our country. You know, another thing I want to do, I probably shouldn't be saying this, I want to do a thing called 50 states in 50 days, where you go to the poorest parts of each state and just film it and look at this shit. Look at this shit. Why are we sending all of our money to all of these other foreign countries when this shit is happening right here in New York? Tomorrow, we're gonna be in New Jersey and the next day, we're gonna be in Wisconsin. Then we're gonna go to California, Alabama, Mississippi, Florida. Every single state and just show how much poverty and how disgusting certain parts of this country are.

• 28:14Speaker 01

  And why the fuck are we sending all of our money to all these foreign countries? Instead of taking care of our own people. It's disgusting.

• 28:26Speaker 01

  Our politicians have totally abandoned us. They're just

• 28:32Speaker 01

  they're runaways. And then I want to call out every single senator, congressman, governor, and just look at this. This is your state. This is your state. This is the state that you represent and this shit is happening all around you. Look at this.

• 28:49Speaker 00

  There's both, I guess, a disrespect here at home, but there's also, as you point at, like a disrespect of allies. And, you know, you can put the tariff there and whatever, but I think one of the things that made the US the superpower, that it is still, but you know, that's increasingly in question, is there was this sort of peace by strength or whatever the phrase is. Like you're strong because you never really have to like say you are, you don't act like a bully, but we just know you're strong. And then the minute you start acting like a bully, we start going, is that strength or is that insecurity? You know, the, the minute you start insulting countries and being rude about their leaders and saying that, I don't know, Canada is the 52nd state or whatever, Trump's dead.

• 29:34Speaker 00

  That's when it starts to look a little bit more like insecurity.

• 29:38Speaker 00

  And also that's when I think some of these nations go, shit, like, maybe we need to band together ourselves instead of banding together with the United States. And I think you're seeing that in Europe now with what's going on with Iran. The European leaders are now coming back together and saying, fuck, like, we might not be as safe as we thought we were. Um, with, in the US's, you know, with the US's leadership. And so we need to form a new type of leadership. And it's, it's, it's an interesting, really interesting time. And do you know what? One might say that China are playing it very smart. Not making enemies with anybody. That calm strength.

• 30:11Speaker 01

  They don't need to do anything. They're watching us self-destruct right now in real time.

• 30:17Speaker 00

  Do you care about the 2028 election? Are you gonna get involved in it if the politicians all want to come back on your show?

• 30:23Speaker 01

  I don't know. I mean.

• 30:26Speaker 01

  It depends. Right now, I think probably not. If there were to be some type of a third party, then I would probably get involved. But right now, with what I see, I just don't really see any strong candidates.

• 30:43Speaker 00

  You mentioned you had someone on your podcast called Blair, who said something which was slightly suspicious to you.

• 30:49Speaker 01

  Blair Um Squirrel?

• 30:50Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 30:51Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah, I think that ICE got him and they're trying to deport him out of the country or something. We got an email about it, which if he was an asset and actually did all that stuff for us, which, you know, I think he did.

• 31:04Speaker 00

  What happened?

• 31:05Speaker 01

  I guess, I don't know the full scope. I just know that he got wrapped up by ICE and it sounds like they're gonna deport him. And that he's worried that if they deport him, that he's gonna be killed. Apparently ICE doesn't care about that. But yeah, you know, he came on and we were talking about it was a life story. Basically, in a nutshell, he came on and he was a, he got recruited out of prison to infiltrate the Islamic terrorist cells, the Muslim Brotherhood.

• 31:33Speaker 00

  He's an American?

• 31:34Speaker 01

  He is from, I can't remember, Eastern Bloc country. He was able to infiltrate all these, like huge, like terrorist cells that had huge weapons caches. And he would go and, and he was a CIA asset, and he would go and do the deal. And then all of that, those caches would get shipped to another country where it would, and then it would be in CIA's hands. And so we had this long conversation about this. And then all of a sudden, he starts talking about Russians getting nukes into the US. And it was just so out of left field, it made me think, you know, I just said earlier, you know, you could

• 32:15Speaker 01

  talk to somebody for two, three, four, five, six, however many hours, and maybe they just need one thing inserted into the podcast, you know, to start a new narrative, or to reinforce a current narrative. You know, there's a big, back then, still is today, you know, big narrative, we all need to, we all need to hate Russia. Maybe we do, maybe we don't. I'm not saying either way. But, you know, for us to be talking about the global war on terror and his time is a CIA asset infiltrating terrorist networks and derailing massive weapons caches back to wherever they were going, you know, and then

• 32:58Speaker 01

  all of a sudden for him to talk about the Russians bringing in nuclear warheads or whatever it was into the US, it was like, and I think I challenged him right on the show. And I said, you know, how do I know that you weren't sent here just to put that one sentence into the show that came out of left field? That doesn't fit anywhere with any conversation that we've been talking about.

• 33:21Speaker 00

  What did he say?

• 33:22Speaker 01

  He was, you know, taken back. I don't remember exactly what he said. You could probably find the clip somewhere. But that's, that's how it happens. That's how it happens. I'm not saying that he is or isn't one. I'm saying that's what it looks like when it happens.

• 33:37Speaker 00

  And your gut sometimes tells you that you're interviewing someone who is probably still working on behalf of an agency.

• 33:43Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 33:45Speaker 00

  Do you delete a lot of episodes?

• 33:48Speaker 01

  No. I've had, I've had episodes that I didn't delete or that I never aired. I've had, I don't know, not very many, but I've had a handful, you know?

• 33:56Speaker 00

  What is the reason typically?

• 33:58Speaker 01

  Well, one time I had a guy come on, this was about the COVID vaccine. And he comes on and, and he's talking about how the COVID vaccine was, was developed in a lab and was patented way before COVID even came out. And it was very compelling. And I didn't really think about it until afterwards. But afterwards, when I was thinking about the interviews, some of these interviews, I'll think about all weekend, or, you know, days, weeks, sometimes after they happen. I mean, it sounded super compelling. And maybe it was real. I don't know. But every time he would, it was COVID-19, COVID, COVID, COVID,

• 34:37Speaker 01

  COVID. But then when he would say, he wouldn't say the COVID vaccine was patented prior to 2020. He would say the SARS vaccine was patented prior to, you know, so, but, but the narrative was the COVID-19 vaccine was patented long before COVID-19 ever even came out. But like I said, he would switch it. He would switch, we would be saying COVID, COVID, COVID. But then he would say the SARS vaccine. And so he left and I was like, I mean, there's gotta be like a million different, there's, there's like thousands of variations

• 35:16Speaker 01

  of SARS and COVID. And so why did he keep switching it? Why didn't he just say the COVID-19 vaccine? Why did he switch it to SARS? And so that, that clicked and I was, it just made me think, maybe this isn't factual. And I don't want to, you know, I've done speculative narrative interviews, lots of them. But I, once again, we were talking earlier, you know, we have audiences of millions and millions and millions of people. And I don't want to put something out that's not factual and have somebody make an important medical decision based on, based on bullshit. And I just didn't want to gamble that. So I never, I never

• 35:58Speaker 01

  released the episode. And I'd talked to lots of doctors and, and it was, it was a charged subject, you know, at the time. And so I didn't like the vax. I took it, but I regret it. But, but, but whatever, you know what I mean? It doesn't matter. I didn't want anybody making that type of a, I know that people trust me. I couldn't live with myself if I found out that guy was totally full of shit, feeding, feeding a bullshit narrative or whatever. And then you got people, you know, either taking it or not taking it based off what he said. So I never aired that. You know, I've had another guy, I had, I was interested in a lot of the stuff going on in the World Economic Forum. And, and

• 36:43Speaker 01

  I had this guy that I thought was an expert on the World Economic Forum come on and he couldn't even tell me what it was. I was like, well, what is it? Is it a business? Is it a non-pro? What is it? He couldn't even tell me. And then he would just start talking about all this conspiracy shit. And I'm like, look, if you can't even tell me what it is, like you really have no business being here. So let's just end the interview right now. And recently I had one where this woman on, supposedly she worked for the agency. Then when I started talking about agency stuff, of course, everything's classified. So we hide behind the classification system. And the only thing she wanted to talk about was like the polygraph. And I'm like, for the polygraph, you can't say shit about the

• 37:28Speaker 01

  polygraph. Like, everybody in there has to take a polygraph. Why are we talking about the, is this like something that you researched really hard on what a polygraph's like? So to make yourself sound legitimate because you're not talking about anything else? And, you know, something that may be classified that they don't want out is how to defeat a polygraph. So, and that was within the past couple of months. And, you know, we ended that one pretty quickly. And I think she knew exactly. So we'll never release that one. But I don't care. You know what I mean? I just, I don't want to knowingly put things that are bullshit out there. I mean, it's gonna happen. We're gonna make

• 38:09Speaker 01

  mistakes. I've made mistakes. But, you know, knowingly, just for views? Nah, I have no interest in that.

• 38:18Speaker 00

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• 40:31Speaker 00

  And then once you did your stint through the sort of security era of your life and through the, after your CIA contracting role, at 34, you moved to Medellin, Colombia and spent two years with taking out, drinking alcohol?

• 40:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, I started in Cartagena and ultimately just decided I'm gonna camp out in Medellin.

• 40:56Speaker 00

  Did you get involved in the, the drug dealing networks while you were there?

• 41:02Speaker 01

  Yes, I did.

• 41:03Speaker 00

  How do you categorize this season of your life in Colombia? Because before then, you're a SEAL, you're doing contracting work with the CIA. And then it appears that in this season of your life, when I look at it from sort of a bird's eye view, that it represents instability.

• 41:18Speaker 01

  I think what it represents is, you know,

• 41:22Speaker 01

  just talked about addiction to adrenaline.

• 41:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 41:24Speaker 01

  And I wasn't getting that adrenaline anywhere. And, you know, I would be in the States and it was boring to me, you know? It was, it was, it was boring, going to the bar. And that life just, it had no appeal to me. It was boring. And then on top of that, I was tired of listening to everyday average Americans talk about the war, give their opinions on what we should be doing when none of them have done anything. It just didn't sit well with me. So that's why, you know, when I said I went down, I didn't want to hear English. I didn't want to hear people asking me for my opinions. I didn't want to hear their opinions. I don't think their opinions mattered. I didn't think that at the time anyways.

• 42:07Speaker 01

  And so I went down there and it became like a game to me. It wasn't the dealing. I never really dealt. It was more setting up the network that gave me the rush and infiltrating networks and figuring out who the players are and all that. And being able to insert myself into the middle of all of that. You know, in retrospect, it was probably the most dangerous thing I had ever done. I didn't care, you know, I just, I didn't really have any value for my own life. I wouldn't say I was suicidal at the time, but I just, I was in it for the thrill. And to me, there was nothing else that was going to give me a thrill, a bigger thrill than that.

• 42:51Speaker 01

  And I figured if, if this gets boring, then I'll probably just die down here.

• 42:58Speaker 00

  I'll probably just die down here.

• 42:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:02Speaker 00

  I mean, it sounds like you came pretty close to getting in significant trouble. At one point, your apartment was bugged by the police.

• 43:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. I, uh,

• 43:14Speaker 01

  I had come home and I was probably, I did, I did a lot of, a lot of drugs down there, a lot of cocaine. And I don't know, I was on three, four, maybe a five day bender. And there was this bridge down there that was called, in this area called Barrio Antioquia. I don't know what it's like now, but back then you couldn't, you couldn't get in there. You couldn't get a taxi to drive you in there. You couldn't get in there without going through several police checkpoints.

• 43:46Speaker 01

  But that's where the cheapest and best coke was. And that's where all the, the players are. It's all, it's all coming out of that specific neighborhood. And I used to go in there for a thrill and, and like go up the chain, go up the dealer chain, find who's boss is, who's boss is, who's boss. Anyways, I went down there with a bunch of girls and we went to this bridge called the Puente de los Locos. And it was all these, it was like homeless camp and of just insane people. And I went down there with a huge stack of cash

• 44:31Speaker 01

  and just threw the money up in the air. Someone had to see what had happened. Of course, they all got up and it was like a mad dash. And we almost didn't get out of there because they had surrounded me and there was hundreds of people. And so we, we, we wound up getting out of there and, in a car. And we got back to my building where I was staying, my penthouse. And one thing I always did was I always took care of the doorman at the building, you know? All the security guys, the doorman, they control who comes in and out. They can inform you if people are hanging around that, you know, maybe shouldn't be. People are looking for me.

• 45:13Speaker 01

  And so I built, that was part of my network, you know, was taking care of them. And so anything I got, if I got coke, they got coke. If I got booze, they got booze. If I went clothes shop and they got clothes, if I got groceries, they got groceries. They always got tipped that, you know? When I was leaving, I would give them a bunch of my clothes. Like I just always took care of those guys. And I came back and this guy, his name was Freddie. And he said that the police were after me. One thing, being a foreigner in Colombia, it's almost like a sin for them not to try to take advantage of you. And I had built a lot of trust with, with Freddie. He was my favorite guy.

• 45:57Speaker 01

  And I was pissed and I started yelling at him like, man, I give you like all kinds of stuff. Like, why would you lie to me to try to get more out of me? I, I always take care of you. And he said, I'm not doing that. He said, they came by and they wanted, uh, they wanted copies of your passport. They wanted to know where you came from, who you are, who you work with, all these things. And I was, I just thought he was full of shit. And he said, look, he said, they told me that they have pictures of you throwing money up at a bridge in Barrio Antioquia. And that was, we had just come from there. And so I was like, oh shit, he is not lying.

• 46:38Speaker 01

  And what he was telling me was that they had supposedly planted a bug in the light fixture outside of my door and that they had set up a observation point in a building across from me. And so I went up and scrubbed myself of everything.

• 47:01Speaker 01

  Kind of scanned around to see if I could pick up, you know, who was, who was looking at me, who was watching. I'm pretty sure I saw it and got rid of everything, got rid of all the coke, got rid of everything. And then I did a SDR to a couple of different internet cafes.

• 47:22Speaker 00

  An SDR?

• 47:22Speaker 01

  An SDR, that's a surveillance detection room.

• 47:26Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 47:26Speaker 01

  And it's, it's, it's, it's a route that you develop to, to figure out if you're being followed or not. So I did that, didn't pick anything up, bought a couple of different tickets to different places and was out of there within 12 hours, never to go back.

• 47:47Speaker 00

  And when you got back to the United States, presumably, had you changed? Was that, was that enough of a close call for you to give up the cocaine habits that you had at the time?

• 47:58Speaker 01

  No.

• 47:59Speaker 00

  No.

• 48:00Speaker 01

  I tried, I had cleaned it up a lot. I'd cleaned it up a lot, but I went, I started getting bored. And so I did a couple of trips, a trip or two maybe to Panama. Panama was a lot tamer than Colombia, but it's just as easy to get in the middle of it. And then I did one to Costa Rica. And then, I can't remember exactly how many. I got a lot of different places. I went to Honduras, I went to San Pedro Sula because it was, uh, it was literally the most dangerous place on the planet at the time. So I wanted to go there and feed my adrenaline. I had toned it down a lot, but, um,

• 48:42Speaker 01

  but I didn't clean it up a hundred percent.

• 48:44Speaker 00

  What was the turning point for you in that season of your life?

• 48:48Speaker 01

  There were a lot of turning points. One turning point that made me clean it up quite a bit was my best friend was, was leaving contracting and he had a horrible addiction to opiates. And so he became my purpose. He became my purpose. I wanted to help clean him up. And so in order to clean him up, I had to clean myself up. And, um,

• 49:15Speaker 01

  I think we made a lot of headway. Ultimately, he did succumb to his addiction years later. But that was a turning point. And in, in the middle of that journey, I had met this, I had started my therapy myself.

• 49:29Speaker 00

  What was the catalyst for you to go to therapy?

• 49:34Speaker 01

  I just knew I, I needed something and I had to set an example for my friend. Like I'm doing it, so you should do it too.

• 49:45Speaker 00

  There was this call on Mother's Day as well, which I've heard you talk about.

• 49:47Speaker 01

  That was in Colombia.

• 49:48Speaker 00

  That was it while you were in Colombia?

• 49:50Speaker 01

  While I was in Colombia.

• 49:51Speaker 00

  What was that phone call?

• 49:52Speaker 01

  That was a,

• 49:56Speaker 01

  I always thought I was ODing down there. My ankles would swell up, you know, from lack of blood circulation. And that would freak me out and lots of, you know, things. And I remember my friend told me early on, he said, you don't, you don't have to worry about

• 50:17Speaker 01

  ODing on coke until things start to slow down. If you're on speed and then everything seems slow, that's when you're riding the edge. And so that started happening. I realized it was Mother's Day once and I, I called my, my mom in the middle of that because I thought it was going to be my last day alive. And, um,

• 50:44Speaker 01

  so that's, yeah, that's, that was a realization point.

• 50:49Speaker 00

  And then you found this therapist?

• 50:51Speaker 01

  And then I found this therapist.

• 50:53Speaker 00

  Was that a challenge to go to a therapist? You know, there's, there's a lot of stigma associated with going to therapy, especially at that time.

• 50:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, it was definitely a blow to my ego, but at the same time, you know, I didn't really have any friends. Most of my friends were still operational at the time and I didn't have any friends where I lived in Florida. And so nobody really knew me and I didn't have anything else to do. I was like, what the hell, you know, I might as well try this. And it did help, it helped a lot.

• 51:21Speaker 00

  How did it help?

• 51:22Speaker 01

  You know, I think.

• 51:27Speaker 01

  It's amazing how many of your own problems you'll work out yourself in your head just by telling somebody who has a, you know, seemingly unbiased opinion, you know, just with a couple of, a couple of questions, kinda like how both you and I interview. You don't say much and people just spill it. And then you can see them working things out in their head as they go along. For me, that's what therapy was. And it's also

• 51:55Speaker 01

  somebody that can hold you accountable, you know, for, for different things.

• 52:00Speaker 00

  And around that time, you did I began treatment, which I'm somewhat familiar with, just after that time, because I worked in psychedelics for a couple of years, well, a year.

• 52:09Speaker 01

  You worked with psychedelics?

• 52:10Speaker 00

  I worked in psychedelics in the industry.

• 52:12Speaker 01

  Oh, okay.

• 52:13Speaker 00

  And I, just when I was, between leaving my first company and really starting this podcast, I did a year in working in a psychedelics business.

• 52:20Speaker 01

  Interesting.

• 52:21Speaker 00

  That was focused on mental health. So I began was one of the therapies that I came across and studied and saw the huge efficacy around addiction. But I've actually never met anybody that did I began. But I remember at the time when I was working in psychedelics, they, they told me that there was this thing called I began, you could take, it was quite a intense treatment, quite a long treatment, but there are several cases where people do one dose of I began in a therapeutic setting and their addiction is cured. That's what I was told. And I was like, this is crazy. And you, you, you did I began, right?

• 52:56Speaker 01

  I did I began, done twice now.

• 52:58Speaker 00

  Oh, wow.

• 52:59Speaker 01

  And yeah, the first time was amazing. I went down there, actually, that was actually after I'd started the podcast. I have a feeling we're very similar. You probably wrap your entire life up into what you're doing. And we were having, I had a, a six month old at the time, my son, and I wasn't present with him because my mind was always in business. It's just all I thought about was business, business, business, the podcast, business. I needed something to, to, to slow my mind, you know, so that I could be in the moment and actually be present with my, with my wife and with my son. You know, at the time, I had kicked, I had kicked a lot of things. I wasn't drinking hard alcohol anymore. I, I was, I mean, I was still on, there was no coke

• 53:44Speaker 01

  for a long time before that. But there were still some pharmaceutical meds that I would dabble in, sleeping meds. But I went down there to be in the moment. That was it. Like, like, help me compartmentalize or manage business stress, because so many opportunities are coming. And if you, you know, the deal, you feel it's like, do I need to do all these opportunities? Are these all opportunities all good for, whatever? Am I a fool if I turn this down? And I went down there for that. And when I came out of it, had no interest in drinking again. I quit all the sleep medications. I quit the Adderall and it was effortless. It was effortless. And I was able to be present with my wife and son.

• 54:29Speaker 00

  And where do you find yourself today as it relates to alcohol, the substances we've talked about, and your mental health?

• 54:36Speaker 01

  Girl, I've never been better, you know? I haven't had a drop in over four years. I don't take sleeping medications. I don't take Adderall. I don't, I have, I actually have no vices. None. And then I went to do it again. And the next one did more out so well for me.

• 54:56Speaker 00

  The next I began journey?

• 54:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:59Speaker 00

  Was this recently?

• 55:00Speaker 01

  This was about, I guess about three months ago now.

• 55:03Speaker 00

  And this is the one where I saw on your show, you said you, you think you visited hell?

• 55:08Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yes, that would be the one.

• 55:11Speaker 00

  So for anyone that doesn't know what I began is, and what the journey is like, is it a drink that you take and then it's sort of like a 12 hour?

• 55:20Speaker 01

  For me, it was a pill.

• 55:21Speaker 00

  It was a pill?

• 55:22Speaker 01

  Yeah. It's from a root in, I think, Gabon, Africa.

• 55:25Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 55:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, they, they, they say it's the most powerful psychedelic you can do. And I believe that, and, and, and then at this particular place, you do five M A O D M T a day after your I began journey. And it's some extremely powerful stuff.

• 55:43Speaker 00

  Has it changed you? That second?

• 55:46Speaker 01

  Yes. It's changed a lot of things.

• 55:52Speaker 01

  I saw you had Dr. Huberman on, you know, the other day, he was talking about his faith and all that stuff. And I'm on my faith journey as well. And, but you know, one thing is when it comes to psychedelics, is I've done I was gained twice. I've done psilocybin a handful of times. I've done five M E O a handful of times. And I got so much out of the first one. And I had a very healthy respect, you know, really prepare for him. And then I forced myself to kind of get looser with it. Because I saw all these other people doing it. And, and I would get these answers to things, you know, really tough business decisions, or, or something that,

• 56:36Speaker 01

  you know, might seem really beneficial to you, but you don't understand why it's happening, or you think there might, you think there might be something else behind it. You know, I would do maybe a psilocybin journey and think on that. And, and it would be like, everything became clear. Like, all of it. You could see what the motivations are behind the person that wants to do business with you. You could see the thing over here that's going to happen if you, if you take that, that step and, and commit. Or maybe you see what happens if you don't. It would be like, problem solved, you know? And this has happened multiple times, and not just with business, with family, with relationships, with, with friends. You would be

• 57:20Speaker 01

  able to piece together these super complex problems. And, and, and, and it would make sense. And I believe it was real. But also, at the same time, I believe that, and I always have, I believe that you are potentially

• 57:40Speaker 01

  opening yourself up to a spiritual realm that maybe we should not have access to. And that's something that I always took very seriously. Even when I did loosen up, I would always pray before it. And as my journey through Christianity became stronger and stronger, I would take it more and more seriously, you know, the praying before and during. And

• 58:04Speaker 01

  which led up to this last one, which was, yeah, I think I saw hell. I know I did.

• 58:11Speaker 00

  You know, you saw hell?

• 58:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:13Speaker 00

  Give me some context on how, how one would know that was hell. And if you can at all, I know it's difficult to sort of say these things in human words, but like, what was it?

• 58:22Speaker 01

  It was total emptiness.

• 58:27Speaker 01

  When I say I saw, I didn't see fire. I didn't see any of that. And where I really felt it was in the five M E O experience. And there was nothing. It was

• 58:44Speaker 01

  the most amount of fear that I'd ever felt in my life. It was the most amount of anxiety I'd ever felt in my life. There was no God. There was no Christ. There was

• 58:59Speaker 01

  and it felt like eternity. And this went on for an hour and a half ish.

• 59:05Speaker 01

  It felt like I was going through the most intense exorcism you could ever imagine. That's what it felt like. And

• 59:16Speaker 01

  it felt like things were trying to maybe leave, maybe not trying, maybe I was trying to get these things out, and they wouldn't leave. But it felt like abandonment. It, it, it, it's, it's the most horrific feeling you could ever even imagine. And it was more real than anything I've experienced in, in, in real life.

• 59:41Speaker 00

  What could you see?

• 59:43Speaker 01

  In this specific experience, I couldn't see anything.

• 59:46Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 59:47Speaker 01

  I mean, my body was contorted. It was doing things that the human body shouldn't do. There was a friend of mine with me, told him I didn't want him to come down when I did it. And I talked, I didn't want to talk to anybody for weeks after this, except my wife, a guy that

• 1:00:07Speaker 01

  is a spiritual mentor of mine, and some priests. And, but I, so I'd called him several weeks. He kept checking on me. And he said, man, he goes, I know you told me not to go down there. But he goes, when I heard you down there, he said, I didn't know if you were hurting people. I didn't know what, I didn't, he's like, I had, I just felt like I had to chat. And he goes, I peered around the, the stairwell. He just said, I've, I've, I've never seen a human body doing what you're doing. And this

• 1:00:44Speaker 01

  is a Marsoc GWAD veteran who is seen at all in the Marine Corps, has seen horrific shit. It was, it was a really bad experience.

• 1:00:59Speaker 00

  What do you think it was? Because, you know, people say you had a psychedelic experience, but you think it was something more than just a psychedelic hallucination per se?

• 1:01:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think it's what I told you. I think that when you dabble in psychedelics, there can be benefits. And I also think that there are, you're opening yourself up to a realm that we were never supposed to have access to spiritually. And I think

• 1:01:32Speaker 01

  that you are naked in a world that you or I or nobody living today truly understands. And with that comes

• 1:01:49Speaker 01

  I mean, you're just, you're at a vulnerable point that things can can access you that and you can access them.

• 1:01:57Speaker 00

  And from what I saw from watching your videos over the last couple of weeks, your life has been different ever since.

• 1:02:02Speaker 01

  Hmm, it's been different. All right. It's been dark.

• 1:02:09Speaker 00

  Really?

• 1:02:09Speaker 01

  Yeah. It gets better. It's been a lot of supernatural things, things that I just, I mean, I can't even believe I'm saying I talk about some of this stuff, but it's, it is real. And I don't really care what anybody thinks about me, but it has been supernatural things that have happened. It has been nightmares. It has been very odd coincidences, synchronicities, lots of that kind of stuff. And, you know, what it's all done, it is, it has drawn me much, much, much closer to Christ.

• 1:02:54Speaker 00

  I heard you describe that some supernatural things that were going on in your physical environment. But, you know, I think you, one of the videos I was watching, maybe a week ago, you said that things were like falling off the walls in your house.

• 1:03:05Speaker 01

  Not in my house.

• 1:03:06Speaker 00

  Not in your house, in other places. Your use of the word dark is really fascinating to me. Is the darkness because of the nightmares? Or is it because of your mental state? Or is it something else?

• 1:03:15Speaker 01

  Darkness is because of all of it together. So I'll, I'll give you a, I don't want to talk too long on this, to be honest with you, but I'll give you the example of the picture frames coming off the wall. So I was in Maine. I did a podcast up there and I was at my in-law's house. And I had been put on this, I mean, it's no secret. I've done some exorcisms now with two different priests who've also been spiritual mentors of mine. And I went up there and I've kept having these nightmares, these, these reoccurring nightmares, different scenarios, but it would, it would destroy my family. I'm sure you've had dreams like this. You wake up

• 1:03:56Speaker 01

  and it takes you a couple of minutes to realize it was just a dream. Well, I kept having these. And what all this has done is drawn me further into Catholicism. I grew up Catholic, fell away from it. Now I'm back in because I think they're some of the only ones that have an understanding of this realm. And I've been thinking about having this bishop on from the Catholic Church. And I had had this dream where he kept kind of like, we were about to do the podcast.

• 1:04:36Speaker 01

  And he kept like sending me these like cryptic homosexual messages. Like he wanted to get with me or something. This was in my dream and it was just making me furious. And it made me hate the Catholic Church. Made me hate it. And I woke up from it. I was like, I don't want to be a part of this anymore. This is disgusting. Like, you know, it was a vivid dream. And, but it was all, yeah, I never met him and I still have never met him. And, but I just kept getting, you know, it was, it was vivid. It was like, what, we're coming here to do the podcast to talk about the, so I wake up, these priests had put me on this prayer regimen. It's called the Libra Cristo method. And so you say it at

• 1:05:21Speaker 01

  6:00 AM, 12:00 PM, 6:00 PM. So I go out, I kind of shake it off and I'm like, all right, I'm gonna go out and I'm gonna start my prayer regimen. And so I start the prayer regimen. And in the middle of it, I start the St. Michael's prayer and a picture frame flies off the wall. And I'm like, holy shit. All right. I just had this weird dream that makes me hate Catholicism. Now I'm doing this prayer and this picture frame flies off the wall. And then it's Sunday. So then I'm going to mass. So I go to mass. And I'm with this guy, we'll call him Hendo. And he protects me, protects my family and

• 1:06:06Speaker 01

  he's turned into a spiritual mentor of mine and a good friend. And we're going to mass together. And I'm telling him about these things that are happening. And he knows all the prior stuff, a whole bunch of stuff that had happened prior to this too. And we get into mass and, and I go and I take communion. And immediately after I took communion, I had an allergic reaction, like immediately. And so this is all, I think we went to eight o'clock mass. So this is all within about two hours from end of the dream to the prayer to now we're at mass, maybe 7:00 AM. I don't know. So I go up, I take communion.

• 1:06:49Speaker 01

  Come back, I'm kneeling down, my face feels like it's on fire. And he looks at me and, and he's like, he's like, what, what's wrong with you? And I'm like, is my face, is my face red? And he's like, yeah, he's like, you're, he's like, your veins are like popping out in your forehead and you look like a tomato. I'm like, yeah, my face feels like really hot. I'm having a, I think I'm having a reaction to communion. And I mean, this is like seconds after, it's not even enough time for an allergic reaction to happen. It happened seconds afterwards. And so, you know, it's these weird, and right before that, I had told him, we had, we had got there a little early and I was like, yeah, it's so

• 1:07:32Speaker 01

  weird because these things seem to happen in like, in sequences. And I was like, it's just like one after the next. And then that'll happen for a while. And then we went into mass and bam, there it is. That kind of stuff has been happening to me for three months now.

• 1:07:52Speaker 00

  Ever since that.

• 1:07:53Speaker 01

  Ever since that.

• 1:07:55Speaker 00

  I guess the outstanding question I have is, there's this experience you had three months ago. There's these experiences you've had thereafter. And like, what is, I guess the audience would be thinking like, what is the conclusion of this?

• 1:08:06Speaker 01

  It's really interesting because I've, I've done, I've been a huge proponent for the psychedelic community and, and all the good that it's done. But the minute you do something and you say something negative about it pisses everybody off. They don't want you to talk about it. How dare you, you know, and it's, there's two sides to it. And people need to know that, you know what I mean? And make their own decisions. Like, it's not all good. I just, I just proved that, you know? And, and do I know what it is? No. Do I know for certain that it came from psychedelics? I'm not saying that it did come from psychedelics. That seemed to be the trigger point. But it kind

• 1:08:50Speaker 01

  of appears to me like I'm the only one that's willing to talk about both sides. Because people are really upset, you know, that I'm talking about what happened to me, my journey. And like I said, I think that it opens you up to a forbidden realm that we, maybe we shouldn't have access to. I mean, a lot of people say, you know, it lifts the veil. Yeah, it lifts the veil. All right. But maybe we have that veil over us for a reason.

• 1:09:21Speaker 00

  This is something that I've made for you. I realize that the diaries here audience are strivers, whether it's in business or health, we all have big goals that we want to accomplish. And one of the things I've learned is that when you aim at the big, big, big goal, it can feel incredibly psychologically uncomfortable because it's kind of like being stood at the foot of Mount Everest and looking upwards. The way to accomplish your goals is by breaking them down into tiny, small steps. And we call this in our team, the 1%. And actually, this philosophy is highly responsible for much of our success here. So what we've done is that you at home can accomplish any big goal that you have, is we've made these 1% diaries. And we released these last year and they all sold out. So I asked my team over

• 1:10:04Speaker 00

  and over again to bring the diaries back, but also to introduce some new colors and to make some minor tweaks to the diary. So now we have a better range for you. So if you have a big goal in mind and you need a framework and a process and some motivation, then I highly recommend you get one of these diaries before they all sell out once again. And you can get yours at thediary.com. And if you want the link, the link is in the description below. Subsequently, you've had several exorcisms, which you've talked about over on your show. What is an exorcism? Because many of us only know a movie called The Exorcist. And that's really sort of reference point for an exorcism. But I, from what I understand, it's a priest that does a sort of a process on you with the intent of removing something that is demonic?

• 1:10:49Speaker 00

  Is that broadly what happens?

• 1:10:51Speaker 01

  Yeah. The movies, you know, are, are very extreme to, in comparison to what I've been through. I didn't, you know, do a backwards spider crawl up a wall or, or anything even close to that. But, and, and I don't really want to go too far into it because I'm, I'm still in this process. To my knowledge, there are two types. There are possession, which is where you're not really in control of your body and your mind. And then there is oppression, which is things start happening around you. And it could be.

• 1:11:32Speaker 01

  All the things that we just talked about, it could be financial, it could be health, it could be trying to destroy your family, it could be trying to destroy your faith, it could be all of that, you know, but it's not, but you're still in control of your mind and your body. And so from the, from the, the, the priests that I've talked to, they all think that it is oppression, oppression, not possession. What is it? I mean, it is, uh, it's a series of prayers. They try to figure out what it is. I don't know exactly everything that they're doing. Some of them have been done in Latin, uh, some of them have been done in English. One of the commonalities seem to be, hey, we're gonna do a series

• 1:12:17Speaker 01

  of these and we'll wanna see if we get any reactions um, to certain prayers or certain parts of prayers. And if we do see a reaction to a certain part, then we can eliminate certain things and, and, and, and kinda dial in on, on what we think exactly is going on.

• 1:12:36Speaker 00

  And you are right in the middle of this at the moment.

• 1:12:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:12:41Speaker 00

  How has it been for your family, for Katie?

• 1:12:45Speaker 01

  I mean, it's, it's, it's been rough.

• 1:12:46Speaker 00

  Brilliant.

• 1:12:47Speaker 01

  Yeah. I mean, imagine uh, coming home to your wife and kids and saying, you know, just being honest, I just got done with my fifth exorcism today.

• 1:12:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:12:59Speaker 01

  And then thinking about the things that are going through their head. Because, you know, you think about, you know, what goes through your head, exactly what you said, the movies. You know, what is he, what like, is he in control of his own mind? What is gonna happen? And then I have the same questions. How bad is this gonna get? What's gonna happen next? Is this, is this, is this ever gonna go away? Is this just mine to carry for the rest of my life? What does my wife think? What does she think when she goes to bed next to me every night? Does she think I'm, I'm, I'm a crazy person?

• 1:13:31Speaker 00

  I was just imagining, my fiance is like, she actually thinks probably one of the first time she's ever been here, but she's just happens to be here today. She's in one of the other rooms. And I was just thinking, I was imagining coming home and saying that uh, she is very spiritual. She's very religious as well. So I imagine she might pray for me. Um, I imagine, I imagine she'd wanna pray for me.

• 1:13:50Speaker 01

  Hmm. Well, then you have an amazing woman and so do I. And she's been with me every step of the way. She's been there for some of them. Uh, she's seen some of the things happen, but it's been tough. It's been really tough. And you know what's interesting too, is when I started talking about this, I'm uh, you feel like you're, you're alone and you're crazy. And, and I never really have cared what other people think about me, but this is pretty, pretty personal uh, stuff. But especially with the psychedelics thing, I had uh, extremely influential uh, military figures, SEALs, SF guys, Delta, like all these guys, I've, have reached out and said, man, I thought I was the only

• 1:14:34Speaker 01

  one that had that kind of an experience. And they're telling me how brave I am for talking about it, you know, but

• 1:14:44Speaker 01

  I guess what I'm saying is I'm, I'm not the only one, you know, that this, this stuff happens to. I guess I'm just the only one that decided to articulate it.

• 1:14:52Speaker 00

  How are you?

• 1:14:54Speaker 01

  I'm good.

• 1:14:55Speaker 00

  Yeah?

• 1:14:55Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah. This, I was going, you know, there is a positive to all of this and, and you know, for me, are you a Christian?

• 1:15:06Speaker 00

  It's a good question. I was raised Christian in a very, very Christian household. So, uh, you know, to some degree, it's somewhat in your bones. I think at like 18, 19, I started having lots of questions. And then I became, I was one of those people in the sort of new atheist movement, they called it, that got really interested in reading all the like Richard Dawkins books. And I went through that phase where I just wanted to argue with everybody because I was trying to form my own opinion. And I came out of that and stopped caring. And now I find myself in a place that I would describe as like, um, as agnostic, but curious. And that curiosity, I think maybe from doing this podcast, frankly, and interviewing some of the people that I have, has, has continued to develop. So I found myself in a place where I think it would be extremely arrogant for me to say

• 1:15:48Speaker 00

  that I didn't think there was something more, but I, I, I don't, I, I couldn't say what I, what it was. I couldn't define it. Like some people are able to define it, like the Christian apologists, like Wes Hough, Wes Hough can define it. I can't define what that means for me.

• 1:16:03Speaker 01

  Well, don't you think it's interesting that all these people keep coming on your podcast and bringing this stuff up? People that maybe you would never expect, like, like your most recent one?

• 1:16:13Speaker 00

  Andrew Huberman?

• 1:16:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:16:14Speaker 00

  No, it is fascinating. It's truly fascinating.

• 1:16:16Speaker 01

  That's what started happening to me.

• 1:16:18Speaker 00

  Hmm. Oh, on your show?

• 1:16:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's where, that's where the seed was, was planted. You know, I grew up, like I said, I grew up Catholic, but that's what started happening to me is all these people started coming on and they would, and it was fascinating to me to hear their journey. But I didn't, you know, I was like you, on the fence.

• 1:16:35Speaker 00

  You got baptized quite recently.

• 1:16:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, I can't remember what year.

• 1:16:39Speaker 00

  Twenty twenty four, I think it was.

• 1:16:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, on Easter.

• 1:16:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:16:42Speaker 01

  It's just funny, you know, how it works. But, but, so where I was going, you know, with all this stuff that's happening and, and, and it's scary. And, but it gets less scary and less scary. And, you know, what it is doing is uh, it's just, it's, it's strengthening uh, my faith and my wife's faith in Christ because the, the, the things that are happening are just undeniable.

• 1:17:10Speaker 00

  You said to Tucker Carlson in July, I'm going through a crazy spiritual transformation right now. It must be somewhat difficult to share this with, with the world, you know, for lots of different reasons, because it's a, it's a subjective experience. So to sort of communicate that publicly, you, you, I could see as you were explaining it, like you, you're well aware that people will think it's like, it's, what's he talking about? Or some whatever. Like when you deliver your truth, you also acknowledge as you're saying it, but some people will think I'm just saying, but you just have to take my word for it. So it's not easy to make that decision to share it. What, what inspired that? What inspired your decision to come out and tell your audience very publicly?

• 1:17:53Speaker 00

  You're going through this.

• 1:17:54Speaker 01

  A couple of reasons. One is

• 1:17:58Speaker 01

  we get access to a lot of people that nobody gets access to, you know, and, and we get a lot of time with them. I ask them on my podcast, I just ask the questions, you know, that I'm, that I'm genuinely curious and for my, for myself. And on top of that, I feel like it's kinda maybe my responsibility, or that maybe I'm supposed to do that, you know, because, because I do have one of the biggest podcasts in the world. And I'm a, I'm just a normal guy. And I think a lot of people realize that about me. And because I get the access to the people that I get access to, you know, I, I think it's important that I ask those kinda questions. You know, one thing that came out of this, you know,

• 1:18:42Speaker 01

  for me is I, I just, uh, I've never, like, some of these things, some of these supernatural type things happened the night before I had Cardinal Burke on.

• 1:18:52Speaker 00

  And he is?

• 1:18:53Speaker 01

  Very high up in the Catholic Church. And so uh, one thing I decided I wanted to do is, cause I, I got way more involved in politics than I wanted to be. And now I think pretty much all of them are just lying pieces of shit. And so I don't really wanna do it anymore. Well, that leaves a, a huge gap in my content. And I'm not saying I will never do it again, but uh, it's unlikely. So now I have this gap that's opened and I, I am obviously very interested in Christianity now. And I've read maybe half the Bible, maybe a little bit more, understand maybe five, 10% of what I've read. So what I wanna do is, you know, just like I was saying, I think I'm supposed to ask these questions

• 1:19:37Speaker 01

  and then, and I get access to people that

• 1:19:42Speaker 01

  almost nobody gets access to. And so I wanna do a, a series breaking down every single book in the Bible on my podcast. And it'll take several years, you know, to get through it all. But

• 1:19:56Speaker 01

  right when we kicked it off with Cardinal Burke, the night before, all these

• 1:20:02Speaker 01

  wild

• 1:20:05Speaker 01

  supernatural things, you know, started happening the night before. And so to me, that's a sign, like, yeah, I am supposed to be doing this.

• 1:20:13Speaker 00

  Were those the supernatural things we talked about before? Or is this lots of other?

• 1:20:16Speaker 01

  Different set. The timing. You cannot make the timing up.

• 1:20:20Speaker 00

  And have supernatural things ever happened to you before that experience you had three months ago?

• 1:20:26Speaker 01

  Not like that.

• 1:20:27Speaker 00

  Not like this?

• 1:20:28Speaker 01

  This is the spiritual realm playing out in real time. A battle over, huh, over my soul.

• 1:20:37Speaker 00

  A battle over your soul?

• 1:20:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:20:39Speaker 00

  And this is why you have to pray several times a day is to, I'm assuming to reinforce which side of that battle is winning?

• 1:20:48Speaker 01

  It is to um, release oppression.

• 1:20:53Speaker 00

  And you don't know how long you're gonna have to do that for, or how long this is gonna take?

• 1:20:56Speaker 01

  No idea.

• 1:20:57Speaker 00

  Really?

• 1:20:59Speaker 00

  Do you know when you'll know that it's, that battle for your soul has been won?

• 1:21:03Speaker 01

  All I'm told is that you will just, you'll know, you will know. It will be uh, very apparent.

• 1:21:11Speaker 00

  Is it difficult to be you right now?

• 1:21:14Speaker 01

  Yeah. I know what this is for me. And now that I know what it is, now, you know, we were talking about responsibility earlier. And now that I know what this is, this is a battle between good and evil. Now I, I'm no longer on the fence. I can't pretend that I don't know. So for example, I've already had advertisers who have been with me for

• 1:21:41Speaker 01

  years. We just had a meeting on how to deepen the relationship with this one particular advertiser, because they've been with me for so long. And they just canceled because they don't advertise on faith-based content. This is a life insurance company who wants to get to people who give a shit about their wife and their kids, so that if something goes wrong,

• 1:22:06Speaker 01

  their wife and kids are taken care of. Now, I'm sorry, what fucking audience are you trying to reach? People that give a shit about their families and you don't wanna advertise on faith-based content? They are maybe the only ones that, that, that put family at the very top of the priority list. And you're gonna cancel?

• 1:22:29Speaker 01

  When I get farther into that?

• 1:22:31Speaker 00

  How do you feel about that decision? What do you think that is?

• 1:22:34Speaker 01

  I think it is a influence to try to get me to not talk about it. Just like the series of events that happened the night before I had Cardinal Burke on.

• 1:22:42Speaker 00

  You think it's part of the battle for your soul?

• 1:22:44Speaker 01

  I think that my platform, as well as yours, has a lot of power. And when you have the ability to reach.

• 1:22:56Speaker 01

  More people than you and I could ever count in a lifetime.

• 1:23:01Speaker 01

  And you're leading people to that book.

• 1:23:05Speaker 01

  It pisses a lot of entities off. It pisses a lot of people off. There's no more pretending for me. Like, I know what this is. So I have to make a decision, you know, because I do believe in heaven and hell. And so if I say, we can't do the Bible series anymore because we're gonna lose advertisers.

• 1:23:28Speaker 01

  I can't take any of that money with me after this is over anyways.

• 1:23:33Speaker 01

  It sucks. I have goals. I'm sure you have goals.

• 1:23:39Speaker 00

  I think me and you have both probably seen a pattern in the guests we've interviewed. You focused a lot on life stories. One of the remarkable things I notice in the life stories often when I'm asked, like, what is the pattern of these successful people? I always cite that in their stories, there is a moment when they made a decision that was against their near term incentives. And often, I mean, this could be, you know, I think about Jimmy Carr. He had a great job and he went to do jokes in pubs for like five or 10 years and got paid nothing for it. Or Darren Brown, one of the world's great illusionists, who had a great job, but went and did card tables in Bristol for 10 years because that was his thing. You look at these moments in their life, you go, only, only an idiot would have done that at that moment. But consistently, what it leads to is a better place.

• 1:24:22Speaker 00

  And I think when you were saying, you know, there's a short term sacrifice potentially to pursue living more in alignment. I don't know, the conversations I've had is every great person that I've interviewed has got that in their story, sometimes several times. They've all walked away from something that other sane humans might not have because of the strength of the incentive in the pursuit of alignment with themselves. Yes, there's some near term turbulence, but consistently, like, living out of alignment is, I think, a much worse long term place to be.

• 1:24:52Speaker 01

  Hmm, I think you're right.

• 1:24:53Speaker 00

  Do you know what I mean? We kind of talked about it even with like booking guests on the podcast, like, yeah, I could have insert famous celebrity person on, but then I'm I'm incrementally swaying away from my own like alignment. And, you know, in the near term, I might get a couple more subs.

• 1:25:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:25:09Speaker 00

  But over the long term, I have a life I hate.

• 1:25:10Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 1:25:11Speaker 00

  You know.

• 1:25:12Speaker 01

  You know, exactly. You become part of the herd. It's easy to be part of the herd.

• 1:25:17Speaker 00

  What is your goal now? Is there a central goal that you sort of orientate yourself towards?

• 1:25:23Speaker 01

  In podcasting?

• 1:25:24Speaker 00

  In podcasting with your businesses?

• 1:25:26Speaker 01

  In podcasting, you know, I think it's a couple of things. I think it's, you know, we already talked about this.

• 1:25:31Speaker 00

  The Bible, yeah.

• 1:25:32Speaker 01

  But I think that, you know, your team actually sent me a similar question before we got here. And I thought a lot about it, you know, because it always changes, but there's one commonality, I think, in my

• 1:25:48Speaker 01

  in my show, and I just don't want people to be afraid to ask questions. And I don't want people to be so tribal. I have a pretty open mind, you know, regardless of what people think about me. I'll talk to both. So I've had Bro Khan on several times and Jank Uger is a friend of mine, you know? Tucker Carlson's a friend of mine. And so I'm open to all ideas. I'm able to say I've made a mistake. I'm able to hold myself accountable, you know, for things. And, and I've publicly made statements saying that I messed up, saying that I've

• 1:26:25Speaker 01

  put out misinformation unknowingly, you know, and I have to correct the record because I, I, I just, I really pride myself on integrity. And we don't see

• 1:26:37Speaker 01

  very many people left holding themselves accountable. And so I, you know, a couple, through my show, I just, I, I, I want to show that you can ask questions and take a stand for what you believe in. And maybe the repercussions that you have come up with in your head aren't going to be near as severe as, as, as what you, what you might think they're gonna be. You know, they say courage is contagious and I, I think that this country needs, I think the people in this country need courage. And so I want to show like, you can like talk about these things and ask questions and it's gonna be okay, man. It's gonna be just fine. Yeah, you might get a little bit of hate, but like, I'm, I'm still here. And I've covered some of the most controversial shit on the planet.

• 1:27:23Speaker 01

  You know, I think that's really important.

• 1:27:25Speaker 00

  And what does, what does a good life mean to you these days?

• 1:27:29Speaker 01

  A good life to me is just

• 1:27:33Speaker 01

  create memories with my wife and kids. I think we're both in, in very good financial situations. And I don't know where you came from, but I didn't come from money. And what I've realized is you hear it and nobody's gonna believe me when I say it, but you just can't buy peace and you can't buy happiness. You have to create it yourself and you're not going to create it with money. Yep, it will take some financial stress off, but it brings a whole other side of, of, of stress. And so you have to do what you love.

• 1:28:13Speaker 01

  And you have to live in the moment as much as you can and, and create as many memories with the people that you love as, as, as possible. And, you know, so it's, it's made me, I wouldn't say back off my business because I'm a workaholic. I know you are too, but you have to work smarter and look for the power plays. And sometimes no is the, is the best business decision you could make, not because it was a bad deal because it wasn't the right deal. Does that make sense? Smarter decisions.

• 1:28:46Speaker 00

  I, it's something, a narrative that I hear from, from fathers and mothers much more than anybody else. Because now they really do have to think deeply about priorities.

• 1:28:57Speaker 00

  Whereas, you know, I'm yet to have children. I hope I will have, I will have children soon, but, um, but, uh, right now, my life is probably a little bit more selfish in that regard than yours is. Because the competition for my time is my business and then, you know, my partner, my fiance.

• 1:29:13Speaker 01

  But you love your business.

• 1:29:15Speaker 00

  I love it.

• 1:29:15Speaker 01

  There's nothing else you'd rather be doing. So for whatever it's worth, I, I think you're doing the right time. The right thing. The time for you to build is now. Because when you do have kids and you do realize how fast they grow and you look, you know, when your, when your kid's born and then six months, you look back and you're like, holy shit, like this. He was this big and now he's this big. And now he's this big, five years later, and you're like, I mean, it makes me tear up right now. It's like, where's, where did it go? Where did the time go? So build, man. Build it as big as you can get it right now. Look for the smart deals and then I hope, you know, I hope you do get the opportunity to raise kids.

• 1:30:01Speaker 01

  But business can destroy a family. You gotta be careful of that.

• 1:30:06Speaker 00

  Why is that the warning that you give me? Is that from experience?

• 1:30:12Speaker 00

  And what you said, you, you almost tear up thinking about the speed of growth of your son. Why?

• 1:30:18Speaker 01

  You only get one shot at this. You're everything to them. And if you're not there,

• 1:30:28Speaker 01

  somebody else will be everything to them.

• 1:30:33Speaker 00

  Where is this coming from, Sean?

• 1:30:35Speaker 01

  You can see it sometimes.

• 1:30:38Speaker 01

  It's a battle. I mean, it's a battle, you know, for me.

• 1:30:46Speaker 01

  And so the time, you know, it's, it's always, you know, you hear people complain about it and try to find it all the time. What is the right balance? How do you do the balance?

• 1:30:59Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 1:31:02Speaker 01

  I do the best I can to figure it out, but

• 1:31:09Speaker 01

  it, it, you, you, you

• 1:31:17Speaker 01

  you can see how much time they want to spend with you and, and all the phone calls and all the business deals and, you know, the, the shit that seems so important because it's gonna put you at the next level, you know, and you're probably like me, your team's like, holy shit, Stephen's got to pivot and we gotta get the shit done by in 12 hours, you know? And it's those kind of phone calls, you know, like, hey, this guy went on this, we're gonna, we're gonna shift this podcast to this day, put this one in, this thing hit. You know, it's a chessboard, you know what I mean? And, and you'll, and, and, and that, that's a 24 hour a day business to be the best.

• 1:31:59Speaker 01

  You're always switched on, even when you're not trying to be switched on, you're switched on. Pistons are firing in your brain all the fucking time.

• 1:32:08Speaker 01

  And you got your two year old over here that just wants to

• 1:32:13Speaker 01

  play trains with you. And you can't get in the, you can't get in the mode. You can, you can, you can sit there and

• 1:32:22Speaker 01

  push a toy train around, but they, they know when you're there and when you're not there.

• 1:32:28Speaker 00

  Have you got regrets in this regard? Or is it, was, is it guilt? What is, what is the emotion?

• 1:32:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, there's some guilt. With that being said, I'm, I'm, I am, you know, I'm very close with my kids, but I could be closer.

• 1:32:43Speaker 00

  And that really matters to you, doesn't it?

• 1:32:46Speaker 01

  It takes a lot for me to leave home to come do stuff like this.

• 1:32:53Speaker 00

  Incredibly admirable, you know, and

• 1:33:00Speaker 00

  dare I say that even, you know, I think about all the, all the gifts my parents gave me by, by demonstrating the values of work and, and striving and um, overcoming. And I think generally like some of the gifts that I look back on as a young kid, but we didn't come from, from money. The, some of the things that I'm most thankful to my parents of is just, it's nothing they said. It's not that they pushed the trains around with me. It's like the fundamental lessons they gave me about life vicariously watching how they conducted themselves. And one of the things I think about with my mom is just like, she

• 1:33:41Speaker 00

  never complained, like she just like worked all the time for us, you know, for, to make sure that we were good. And to the point that at one point she started sleeping on this bag of rice in the back of her little corner shop. And she,

• 1:33:55Speaker 00

  she never complained. She, and through that she taught me the lesson of like hard work and striving. And there's no possibility that I'd be sat here now with a life that I love, doing something that I love, with a perspective that has been helpful for me in terms of dealing with hardship and all those things. If I hadn't watched her through her absence, teach me this lesson. So I sometimes, you know, all I say that to say that

• 1:34:19Speaker 00

  the nature of the absence, I think also matters, you know? Cause that's going to be the story, I think, for a lot of, that was the story for me. It's like, where, where was my mom? My mom and my dad, they were out working for me.

• 1:34:32Speaker 00

  But it's a trade. It's a trade.

• 1:34:34Speaker 01

  It's a trade.

• 1:34:35Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's a trade. Cause am I as close to them as I might have been otherwise? No.

• 1:34:40Speaker 01

  But you're talking about necessity.

• 1:34:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:34:43Speaker 01

  And what we're talking about is abundance.

• 1:34:46Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, true. Yeah.

• 1:34:48Speaker 01

  And there's a difference.

• 1:34:49Speaker 00

  Hmm. So what's your conclusion there? Is there a conclusion? Is there an action to take as there?

• 1:34:54Speaker 01

  I'm, I'm still figuring it out, but the conclusion is look for the power plays. Look for things that make sense. Hold off for the right deals. Only do what you really believe in. The quick money is all bullshit.

• 1:35:12Speaker 01

  Like my newest business, Glacier. I didn't know that was going to come, but I knew something big was going to come that made sense. And I've turned down so many opportunities because I just, I didn't feel like it was me. And then this came along and it was just me solving my own problem.

• 1:35:33Speaker 00

  And it's a privacy and digital security mobile app.

• 1:35:37Speaker 00

  What does it do?

• 1:35:38Speaker 01

  We made the simplest

• 1:35:42Speaker 01

  phone privacy app of, uh, that's out there. It's got a VPN, it's got secure DNS and it has burner numbers. You walk around every day, you have all these apps. These apps are sucking information out of your phone. They're pushing it to data brokers. That's being sold to who the hell knows who. I mean, I just had Byron Tau on. He thinks that the Iranians attacked a base by buying data from a data broker and then attacked a US base because of it. Basically tapping into soldiers' phones just through everyday data broker marketing shit. And so what the secure DNS is, is it blocks all that from getting sucked out of your phone. The VPN is great, but that's not the focus. The

• 1:36:23Speaker 01

  real win here is, is the secure DNS and the burner numbers. I mean, now you can hand out burner numbers. Yeah, here, you can get ahold of me on this burner number. When that burner, can you feel like that burner number's been abused? You just hit the button, it goes away. They can never contact you again and you can, you, you buy another one.

• 1:36:41Speaker 00

  A cool product and very well aligned.

• 1:36:43Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 1:36:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:36:44Speaker 01

  Thank you. Look, for, for me,

• 1:36:48Speaker 01

  I'm not going to do two podcasts a week forever. I love to do this. Two a week, it's too much for me and my family, especially traveling around and, and doing foreign countries and this other stuff like it. I, I have to slim it down. So I'm, eventually I'm going to go to one a week. And I've been given this platform and

• 1:37:11Speaker 01

  I want to start businesses that I truly believe in, that solves a real problem. Cause I love business. I love, you know, I'd also think about the other side, like, well, what if I was, what if I was solely a dad and husband? And I didn't get any of the phone calls and I wasn't able to, I didn't have a creative outlet. I love the creativity of business and creating your way on how to win. You know, I mean, I think a lot of people hit a roadblock and like, oh shit, didn't work. There's always another way. There's always another way to win, you know? And that's, that's one of the things that I took and one of the positive things that I took from my days at contracting for CIA and being a Navy SEALs. There is always a way to win, but you have to, you have to be creative enough

• 1:37:56Speaker 01

  to find all the different avenues to the goal that you want to get and reverse engineer that.

• 1:38:01Speaker 00

  And dare I say, have a bit of persistence.

• 1:38:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, a lot of persistence. It's an education, you know, and you get smarter along the way. So in a long way, I think that's my conclusion.

• 1:38:14Speaker 00

  We have a closing tradition on this podcast where the last guest leaves a question to the next guest, not knowing who they're leaving it for. And the question left for you is what is love?

• 1:38:25Speaker 01

  What is love?

• 1:38:30Speaker 01

  The first thing that comes to mind is love is what you're willing to die for.

• 1:38:37Speaker 00

  And what are you willing to die for?

• 1:38:39Speaker 01

  My family.

• 1:38:43Speaker 00

  Sean, thank you. Thank you for being an inspiration for us podcasters. We've learnt so much from what you do. I think the big lesson that I've taken from you is actually just around kind of what we talked about earlier on is you're such a high integrity person that lives with such great alignment to what you believe. You do things your way. And that's why I think, you know, people like you, I admire so much. Cause in the world we live in, it's so easy to copy and follow and, you know, all those kinds of things. But there are some people that look out there and I go, do you know what? That person's doing it their way. I know who they are because what they're producing is so N of one. It is, there's only one of them. And that, and so that's, those are the people that I have the most respect for as, as sort of a podcasting peer. And you're certainly one of them. And, you know, as well, with the subject matter we talked about, you being in pursuit of your truth and your

• 1:39:27Speaker 00

  alignment, even in spite of there being obvious costs, like losing advertisers or what people might think if, again, it's a, it's a demonstration of your integrity as a man. And, and then lastly, your, um, real focus on family being at the heart of it and seeing the emotion in your face as you described this sort of battle that I know a lot of my audience have every single day in their own lives between ambition and goals and these types of things. But then the love of family and kids and all those things is another wonderful reminder for me at this point in my life where I feel like I'm about to tussle with the same situation. So thank you for doing all that you do. I'm a, I'm a great fan of yours, both as a fellow creator and podcaster, but also as a man and the service for the country as well as something that is of great admiration. So thank you, Sean.

• 1:40:10Speaker 01

  Thank you. I was really excited to meet you.

• 1:40:12Speaker 00

  Oh, thank you.

• 1:40:14Speaker 01

  Great job with what you're doing.

• 1:40:15Speaker 00

  Thank you so much. Thank you.

• 1:40:42Speaker 00

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• 1:40:58Speaker 00

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