Pod Insights The Binge Crimes The Vanishing of Janis Rose | 6. The Real Janis About this episode There’s only one person left who holds the truth, Janis herself. David and host Larrison show up to answer the remaining mystery: Why did she keep up decades of lies?
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Transcript 0:00 Speaker 00 Hey Spotify listeners. When you travel with American Airlines, you'll enjoy comfort and convenience at every altitude. Before takeoff, unwind in the Admirals Club Lounge with curated self-serve offerings of hearty bites and refreshments. In flight, stay connected with high-speed Wi-Fi, sponsored by AT&T. Your journey is designed to feel easy from the moment you check in to the moment you arrive. No matter where you're going, American gets you there. Book now at aa.com.
0:27 Speaker 01 Pink Pantheress here. Coach and Spotify are teaming up to bring music and style together, and they want you to be part of it. Grab your friends and head to the Tabby Tour, hitting cities around the country with live performances from special artists, exclusive experiences, and personalized products. And discover custom playlists on Spotify, booked just for you based on who you are and how you listen. Live your story with Coach. Learn more at coach.com.
0:54 Speaker 02 Listen to all episodes of The Vanishing of Janice Rose ad-free right now by subscribing to The Binge. Visit The Binge channel on Apple Podcasts and hit Subscribe at the top of the page. Or visit getthebinge.com to get access wherever you listen. The Binge: Feed your true crime obsession.
1:19 Speaker 03 The Binge.
1:28 Speaker 02 We left off with Janis's son David sending a request to the state of Louisiana for his original birth certificate. This document should list his birth parents' names, and hopefully, that puts to rest all the gossip and rumors that have been following him since birth: that he was kidnapped or purchased as a baby. The story David's known to be true for most of his life is that Janis adopted him as a newborn from charity hospital in New Orleans. But after learning she was lying about her name, her past, even her husband's, David knows her story about his adoption could very well be a lie too.
2:15 Speaker 02 What are some of the things that you find yourself thinking about the most?
2:21 Speaker 04 Did my family really give me up?
2:24 Speaker 02 After everything David's heard, he can't help but wonder if it were his birth family's choice to give him up. And until recently, he's had no way of knowing.
2:39 Speaker 02 See, most adoptees get two birth certificates. The first one is issued at birth. Under "parents," it lists their biological parents. But as soon as they're adopted, that first birth certificate is filed away. And the state gives adoptees a brand-new birth certificate with only their adoptive parents on it. That's why David's birth certificate lists his mom as Janis, or, more accurately, Willie Joe, the fake name she was using. David never had access to the first one with his birth parents' names, until now. A few years ago,
3:21 Speaker 02 Louisiana passed a law allowing adoptees like David to request their "original" birth certificate. He'd soon know who his birth parents were, and that could give him something life with Janis guaranteed he never had: a permanent, stable connection with family.
3:44 Speaker 02 Throughout David's life, Janis brought him into so many different families. Different people who cared for David when he was a kid, who were a huge part of his life. The folks in Poplarville, Wes, his cool, young stepdad. Until his mom's lies got in the way, and she dropped them. And so David had to drop them, too.
4:11 Speaker 02 But he wonders if it has to stay that way.
4:15 Speaker 04 Do I have brothers or sisters out there that I would like to know and possibly meet? Feels like I'm just the only child out there and just felt like I just got abandoned.
4:26 Speaker 02 Did you ever want siblings growing up?
4:29 Speaker 04 Kind of.
4:31 Speaker 04 Mostly a brother where I can pick on.
4:33 Speaker 02 What if there are siblings out there who look like him and talk like him? He thinks about what that would be like.
4:43 Speaker 04 If one of them wanted to reach out and meet and hang out, I'd be all for it. If they had questions about me and my life, y'all would tell them y'all would love to meet.
4:56 Speaker 02 And then an envelope arrives in the mail, addressed to David from the state of Louisiana.
5:04 Speaker 02 But when he opens it, it does not contain a birth certificate. Instead, there's a letter.
5:13 Speaker 02 It reads in part, "After performing an extensive search using the information provided on your request, we were unable to locate a sealed file for you. This correspondence serves as a formal report of the thorough search conducted to locate the sealed pre-adoption certificate you requested. It was a pleasure serving you." Yeah. After performing a, quote, "extensive, thorough search," the state of Louisiana's answer is that there is no answer. This is not a letter the state of Louisiana sends out that often.
5:55 Speaker 02 Of the 1,800 requests they've received, less than 3% have warranted this kind of letter.
6:04 Speaker 02 I wondered how this kind of news hit David.
6:07 Speaker 04 Overwhelmed with emotions and questions, no answers.
6:11 Speaker 02 Because when it comes to Janis, every answer seems to be another twist. What we do know is the state of Louisiana has no record of David's adoption, which means that the only thing this whole inquiry appears to confirm is that his adoption, if that's what it really was, was probably not by the book. And it's going to be up to David to figure out what the hell happened.
6:41 Speaker 04 Makes me want to go find my real family.
6:48 Speaker 02 Maybe the truth about David and Janis lies with yet another family, the one he was born into. After all, they would know how he came into their lives and how he left them. Unless, of course, Janis isn't David's only parent who's been keeping secrets.
7:14 Speaker 02 From Sony Music Entertainment and Wild Night Media, you're listening to The Vanishing of Janis Rose. This is episode six, The Real Janis. I'm Larison Campbell.
7:37 Speaker 02 When it comes to secrets, we know Janis is a master. But there is something Janis can't manipulate: genetics.
7:52 Speaker 02 So David submits his DNA to every database willing to take it. Distant relatives paying, a fourth cousin here, third cousin there. No close matches initially. But then a group that specializes in connecting families through DNA reaches out to David after hearing about his story. Kate Howard is a former member of this nonprofit group, DNA Angels. They do a lot of work with adoptees like David.
8:22 Speaker 05 We believe that it is your right to tell your story and to name your biological heritage. We do not believe that you are here to keep your mother or your father's secrets.
8:37 Speaker 02 And David is very tired of secrets. Kate takes David's case and almost immediately starts connecting dots. She figures out the community his family is from.
8:49 Speaker 05 Which is Louisiana Cajun.
8:52 Speaker 02 Specifically, the bayous in the southeastern part of the state. It's an area Janis knows well. It's where she lived and worked when she met David's dad. So odds are good that Janis got David in Louisiana, even if his adoption was never on the state's books. As Kate keeps working, she makes what feels like a major break.
9:21 Speaker 05 We were able to identify a potential birth father.
9:26 Speaker 02 David's birth father.
9:29 Speaker 05 When we reached out to a child of the potential birth father, who would be a half sibling to David, if we are correct, this person was very excited and enthusiastic about testing.
9:44 Speaker 02 This is huge for David. It's a potential half-sister.
9:51 Speaker 02 After the connection is made, David even starts messaging with her and sharing photos. And she tells him, he looks like her dad.
9:59 Speaker 04 And they said, you guys favor a lot.
10:02 Speaker 02 This family David's always wanted, he can actually see it starting to take shape with him in it. There's even someone for David to pick on. She has a brother who is really close in age with David, she tells him.
10:18 Speaker 04 You and my brother were born in the same year.
10:21 Speaker 02 Just a few months apart. It's all overwhelming, but in that good, hopeful way.
10:28 Speaker 02 The DNA match was for his half-sister's son. It's a solid connection, but before David can know for sure, his half-sister will need to send in a sample.
10:39 Speaker 05 And then they went radio silent.
10:45 Speaker 02 After agreeing to test, they stop responding. Kate, the DNA expert, is no stranger to this type of response.
10:55 Speaker 05 If I go to my dad and I say, hey dad, this thing happened in genealogy. They asked me to take a DNA test. And if dad knows that he has a child out there that everybody else doesn't know about, he's going to say, don't take the test and stop talking to them.
11:16 Speaker 02 David and his half-brother, being just months apart, screams affair, or some kind of relationship that was supposed to stay a secret.
11:26 Speaker 05 So that's where we are right now, and it hasn't been helpful.
11:34 Speaker 02 Well, how do you feel about this search right now? Like, how are you feeling, David, about where you are in the process?
11:41 Speaker 04 To me, I feel like it's sucky. It's like my mind's always off somewhere. I'm not like I used to be.
11:52 Speaker 02 David says he's changed. He feels like he doesn't belong anywhere. And he thinks about the family he almost had, a brother, a sister, a dad, and how they just walked away from him.
12:09 Speaker 02 David tells me if he does have family out there, he's got a lot of love to give.
12:15 Speaker 04 It seems like I don't get a lot of love back sometimes.
12:19 Speaker 02 Even the relationship he has with his mom. Sometimes he finds himself wondering if what he'd really loved were just her lies. And now that his biological family has shut him out, is that all he's left with?
12:36 Speaker 04 Either I'm a big secret affair, or I'm just a mistake.
12:42 Speaker 04 That's how I feel.
12:45 Speaker 04 I wish we can find answers. Maybe it shed some type of light. Maybe I can feel better or maybe get the weight off my shoulders. Just find out what's going on. But also, this feels like that part of the family just don't want nothing to do with me. I don't want anything but just to know what's the truth. That's all I want.
13:11 Speaker 02 There's only one other person who knows the truth. Her name is Janis Rose Bullock, and she lives in a Texas nursing home in a memory care unit for patients with dementia. But I keep thinking back to something David's wife Carolyn had told me about Janis, about how as Janis's dementia had gotten worse, that wall that separated Janis's identity and Willie Joe's identity had begun to dissolve. With the dementia came out the truth. Could Janis finally be ready to tell David the truth
13:55 Speaker 02 about where he came from and everything else? Or had her dementia advanced so much that she wouldn't remember the secrets she'd worked so hard to keep? There was only one way to find out. Tell us where we are, David, and what we're doing today.
14:16 Speaker 04 We're in Dallas. I'm going to go visit my mom.
14:28 Speaker 00 Hey, Spotify listeners. When you travel with American Airlines, you'll enjoy comfort and convenience at every altitude. Before takeoff, unwind in the Admirals Club Lounge with curated self-serve offerings of hearty bites and refreshments. In flight, stay connected with high-speed Wi-Fi, sponsored by AT&T. Your journey is designed to feel easy from the moment you check in to the moment you arrive. No matter where you're going, American gets you there. Book now at aa.com.
14:54 Speaker 01 Pink Pantheress here. Coach and Spotify are teaming up to bring music and style together, and they want you to be part of it. Grab your friends and head to the Tabby Tour, hitting cities around the country with live performances from special artists, exclusive experiences, and personalized products. And discover custom playlists on Spotify, booked just for you based on who you are and how you listen. Live your story with Coach. Learn more at coach.com.
15:26 Speaker 02 On an April weekend, I meet up with David and Carolyn early in the morning at my hotel room in Dallas, Texas. In just an hour, we'll be heading up the road to talk to Janis. David's nervous.
15:41 Speaker 02 I find out this is the first time he'll be seeing her in person since before he found out she'd been lying about who she was and where David came from. Three years ago. Though he still calls his mom.
15:57 Speaker 04 I try to talk to her a couple of times a week or a month.
16:00 Speaker 02 He doesn't tend to bring up her deceit. I was really surprised he hadn't seen her in person. The woman, he admits, is the most important person in his life, outside of his wife. He tells me he hasn't visited her because of his busy schedule. I just think it's got to be a little more. He says he's worried she won't know who he is.
16:23 Speaker 04 She doesn't remember us and I'm happy. I just don't want to ask questions that change. I just want to remember her as a good person.
16:33 Speaker 02 Are there questions that you do want to ask her?
16:36 Speaker 04 I do, but I'm afraid to.
16:39 Speaker 02 But Carolyn isn't. David's rock and occasional spokesperson has a list ready.
16:46 Speaker 06 What made her want to abandon her children? We want to know,
16:53 Speaker 06 did she know the biological family? Did she personally know them? Is that how she got David? Does she know exactly where he came from?
17:05 Speaker 02 I ask about Janis's dementia. It's a potential complication, not just when it comes to getting the truth from her, but also ethically. We want to make sure she feels comfortable with our recording her. It will be myself and a producer, Lindsay, two people she's never met. We make a plan upfront. How do you feel about our asking questions?
17:31 Speaker 06 You can ask all the questions you want.
17:33 Speaker 02 Though answers might be hard to come by.
17:36 Speaker 06 If you can get them, that would be great. I don't know how she's gonna be. I don't have any expectations.
17:53 Speaker 02 Janis's nursing home sits back from the road, behind a parking lot. Inside, the hallways are wide, the floor's linoleum, the lighting fluorescent. It feels like a cross between a dorm and a hospital. The walls are decorated with aphorisms that may not have been thought all the way through. At the entrance to the memory care unit, where Janis and other patients with dementia live, a poster reads, "Not all who wander are lost." David and Carolyn enter Janis's room. Lindsay and I wait outside. They want to talk to her first and then decide if it's a good idea for us to come in.
18:35 Speaker 06 We got somebody who would like to meet you, though.
18:37 Speaker 02 Okay.
18:41 Speaker 02 They give us the go-ahead and we walk inside her room. As we get situated, I study the woman in front of me. She's tiny, probably no more than 5'2" and thin. Her jeans and gray sweater are loose, and it's not what I'd expected. In the photos I'd seen and stories I'd heard, she'd been full-figured and vibrant. Is it nice seeing David?
19:08 Speaker 03 Yeah. Just, you know, my David.
19:14 Speaker 02 Janis looks to David and asks if he's her David.
19:18 Speaker 04 Just, I'm your David. I'm turning.
19:23 Speaker 04 I'm here.
19:24 Speaker 03 I didn't want to sign, it cuts off.
19:26 Speaker 04 It's okay. Uh huh. I'm here. I'm here, David.
19:32 Speaker 02 She smiles big. Tears began streaming down her cheeks as she latches onto David with both arms. He'd been worried she wouldn't remember him. She says she didn't want to ask if this was her David.
19:47 Speaker 02 But she seems happy. She tells him they have to start getting together. Maybe at the ranch where David grew up.
19:55 Speaker 03 We could be still at the ranch.
19:58 Speaker 04 Yeah, we don't have the ranch anymore, Mom. That's been gone for a while.
20:02 Speaker 03 It is?
20:02 Speaker 04 Yes.
20:07 Speaker 03 That's life, huh?
20:08 Speaker 02 Yeah.
20:11 Speaker 02 She takes a deep breath. "That's life," she says. As she settles into a puffy taupe recliner, David perches on the edge of her bed. We explain we're recording because we're working on a project about her life. And she says that's fine. So, now it's time. We're ready to ask these questions that have been gnawing at David and at me for so long. But now that we're here, I don't think any of us know where to start. I'm holding back, giving David the opportunity to ask his questions. But he doesn't, so I try to break the ice. What was David like as a kid?
20:53 Speaker 03 Can I really tell?
20:57 Speaker 03 He was my light. Nobody ever messed with me. He was always there. Yes, he did.
21:07 Speaker 04 Yeah, I was telling him about the trip to Disney World.
21:10 Speaker 03 Yeah.
21:13 Speaker 03 And we got to on that. Well, it's like, you know where we go in there and we go, "Let's go get on this one." And it's going around, around, around, around. And then I couldn't let go because he had to help me. I was, oh, I was scared.
21:31 Speaker 04 Tea cups are the other ride. It spins you around and puts you like zero gravity.
21:37 Speaker 02 This is one of those happy memories, the kind David has clung to over the last few years. Proof that even if she wasn't Willie Joe, she was every bit a great mom to him. I'm encouraged that it seems to have stayed with her to some degree. We were talking to David about some of his memories from when he was a little boy, and he was telling us about Christmas at the ranch and...
22:01 Speaker 03 Yeah, and I did that. I did it here last night. That's when I was just out and everybody...
22:12 Speaker 02 As we talk, I begin to realize that some of the answers she's giving me aren't responses to our questions. But every so often, it feels like the clouds part, and we get a window of clarity. Do you think about your four girls?
22:30 Speaker 03 Every day. I don't get to see them, but every day, yeah. Have you all talked to mother?
22:39 Speaker 02 I have not talked to your mother. She asks us about her mom a lot and her sisters. These early years seemed easier for her to reach. So I thought I might be able to get a sense of the biggest question of all: why she had left and started this whole mess to begin with. After you left the house, do you remember where you went after that? Were you... Did you stay in Mississippi? Did you go to Louisiana?
23:09 Speaker 03 Well, I had to get out of that place. And then I got up and I got the children up, and we left. I thought my sister Doris was going to come help me. I couldn't do it. It was... I had just gotten to the point. And that one thing, I couldn't put them in a... I can't. I couldn't. I couldn't do it. I carried all four of the children, and I took them to...
23:46 Speaker 02 I had to get out of that place. I got the children and we left. And then she mentions her sister, that she thought her sister was going to come help her. It makes me wonder, is Janis trying to explain that she felt desperate? That she was overwhelmed, needed help and wasn't getting it and then just left without thinking it through? She doesn't complete the thought and I'm not able to get any more from her. These memories are like grabbing a fistful of sand and she has just a moment before the grains all slip through her fingers. Even so, it seemed like I needed to go ahead and ask about David.
24:30 Speaker 02 So, one of the questions we were hoping to ask you and find out about is, and David, I don't know if you want to ask this question, but sort of about his adoption. What do you remember about his adoption?
24:48 Speaker 03 I just loved him. Back then, you just didn't, it wasn't like that, like it is now. Because I just didn't know how. I didn't know how to do that. I would always, we'd be here and are usually around here. And it's wonderful.
25:10 Speaker 02 What do you remember about where you adopted David from? Was it a family? Was it a hospital?
25:17 Speaker 03 That's in Mississippi and they don't give you another place. If you want to go, there it is.
25:25 Speaker 02 Maybe there was a time when we could have asked these questions. But I think that time has passed. And as we sit there, something occurs to me. In a way, Janis got away with it. She ran away, started a new life and never had to answer for what she did. Even now, with her son and his wife sitting beside her, two reporters, she doesn't have to own up to a single thing. As we sit there in silence and I'm turning this over in my head, Janis, once again, surprises me.
26:07 Speaker 03 I knew one day this was gonna come.
26:11 Speaker 07 What?
26:12 Speaker 03 What?
26:16 Speaker 03 How can I, how could I have been a better person? And I'd be back with my daddy or my mom or whatever.
26:32 Speaker 02 Was Janis, just for a brief moment, finally coming clean? Or am I reading into something that's not really there?
26:42 Speaker 02 After we leave that day, I spend a lot of time thinking about what felt like Janis's fleeting moments of clarity. When she seemed to say she felt alone and overwhelmed. And when I thought I heard her express regret. So I reached out to a neurologist, Madeleine Sharp, who specializes in neurodegenerative diseases like dementia. I shared excerpts of our Janis visit with the hope that she could tell me what, if anything, I should gather from it.
27:15 Speaker 07 If I were just, as a clinician, trying to counsel this son who's trying to understand what any of this means, I feel like I would have to tell him, I don't, I don't think you can make anything of this.
27:27 Speaker 02 She notes how unclear Janis's answers were and her incomplete thoughts and sentences. And what memories is she actually retrieving, if any? True ones? Or memories of the lies she's repeated her whole life and cemented?
27:43 Speaker 07 How does recollection happen on a very, very, like, well-conceived web of lies? It's nearly like she encoded these false memories that became her sense of real memories. You know what I mean? It's like, just like, the wonder of this black box that contains information that is now, like, rendered completely inaccessible. So it's kind of amazing when you think about it. Like, she holds all of the, the keys to all of the truth, yet it is not possible to open it.
28:16 Speaker 02 I asked David what he thought.
28:18 Speaker 04 It don't seem like her. It's not her. It's just, I don't think she's there anymore. Sad. See her that way. Yeah, she, her mind's gone.
28:31 Speaker 04 It's hard to get my emotions out right now.
28:35 Speaker 04 I don't know how I feel.
28:39 Speaker 02 David has been let down at so many turns by Janis, by the state of Louisiana, even by his own DNA. So I called up one of David's distant biological cousins. They'd connected through the DNA nonprofit and stayed in touch. I was catching her up on David's search when we realized something. David's suspected half-brother, she's actually friends with his wife. So David's cousin calls her friend up and makes the ask. And it turns out, it is all in who you know, because he agrees to take a DNA test.
29:22 Speaker 02 A few weeks later, David calls me. What do you have? What's the news?
29:30 Speaker 04 News? I just found out I have a half-brother and possibly found out who my dad is.
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30:08 Speaker 00 Hey, Spotify listeners. When you travel with American Airlines, you'll enjoy comfort and convenience at every altitude. Before takeoff, unwind in the Admirals Club Lounge with curated self-serve offerings of hearty bites and refreshments. In flight, stay connected with high-speed Wi-Fi. Sponsored by AT&T. Your journey is designed to feel easy from the moment you check in to the moment you arrive. No matter where you're going, American gets you there. Book now at aa.com.
30:33 Speaker 02 David and I are on the phone and I can't believe what I'm hearing. He's finally getting answers. Proof that he has family, a half-brother and a half-sister.
30:45 Speaker 07 Oh my God, this is incredible.
30:49 Speaker 02 David's telling me everything he knows so far. These half siblings and father are the same people the DNA nonprofit suspected. I ask him if his half-brother knows who David's mom is.
31:03 Speaker 04 Yeah, I have no idea.
31:08 Speaker 02 That part's complicated. And turns out, a big reason why the search has been so difficult.
31:17 Speaker 02 David says when his half-brother confronted their dad, his dad denied the whole thing. Didn't want to talk about it.
31:26 Speaker 02 As David feared, Janis may not be his only parent with secrets. And it seems possible that the one David's birth father is trying to keep is big. It's not just about how close David and his half-brother are in age, or that his dad was young, just a teenager, when David was conceived. It's about who David's mom may be.
31:52 Speaker 02 There's a twist, quite literally, in David's DNA.
31:58 Speaker 02 His parents are related to each other.
32:02 Speaker 02 That DNA nonprofit group ran a test called
32:05 Speaker 05 The Are Your Parents Related Test?
32:08 Speaker 02 This is Kate again, one of the DNA researchers.
32:11 Speaker 05 And it literally gives you a picture of all of your chromosomes. And when you have identical runs, it lights up.
32:20 Speaker 02 They take David's DNA and they run this test.
32:23 Speaker 05 And it had come back yes. His parents are related at a relationship level that is similar to first cousins.
32:34 Speaker 05 I would say that consumer DNA testing has helped us understand how prevalent incest is. I think David has been searching for so long. So I don't think he was particularly stunned or appalled or anything like that.
32:55 Speaker 02 I called David up to talk to him about all this. No, he wasn't appalled. But this wasn't exactly what he was expecting either.
33:04 Speaker 04 Was I surprised about it? This kind of threw me off.
33:09 Speaker 02 It threw him off, he says. Because there are few things DNA can tell you that are more taboo than incest. It bridges cultures and stretches back centuries. Marriage between first cousins is illegal in around half the states, including Louisiana. It's not a comfortable thing to talk about, that David's parents could be cousins. In fact, in a lot of cases, it's not just the parents who want to keep incest secret. So I asked David if he's OK, not just with knowing this, but talking openly about it. And he tells me he is. That at this point, he doesn't really care. And it's not like he's the first person
33:54 Speaker 02 who's found this out about his family.
33:57 Speaker 04 If this happened, it happened. So how are you going to change it?
34:00 Speaker 02 And maybe it helps that not everyone in his birth family thinks that his story should be secret.
34:08 Speaker 02 David tells me he's been chatting with his half-brother. And it sounds like they already have a lot in common. They fish. They both love Cajun food.
34:18 Speaker 04 And he wants to know me. He wants to talk to me. He wants to meet me.
34:22 Speaker 02 He wants to meet you?
34:24 Speaker 04 Yeah.
34:27 Speaker 02 David sounds light, excited. It's so different from how he sounded over the last year. He tells me some of his cousins and his half-brother and sister have invited him to meet up later this fall. Does it still feel lonely? Or is it changing?
34:44 Speaker 04 It's changing now. Because when I first started off with DNA and Angels, they always got hit in the head. And it just felt like I didn't have any brothers or sisters.
34:53 Speaker 02 Yeah. Oh, gosh, I really, I'm really, really happy for you, David. I'm really happy.
35:02 Speaker 02 It's a lot to absorb, but having some sense of truth, I can tell he feels relief. He's still chipping away to get those answers. He hasn't yet reached out to the woman who might be his birth mother, but he tells me he plans to. Of course, this doesn't clear up the rumors that David's adoption likely wasn't legitimate, but that also doesn't mean it has to be some sinister thing. Maybe Janis wanted a baby and he needed a home.
35:38 Speaker 02 As I've worked on this, I've wished I could talk to the Janis who made the decision to leave, to see inside her head and give me something that would make this story make sense. And then, as I was finishing this show, I came across something that has both helped me understand Janis in a way I didn't expect and made her choices even more mysterious. A letter she wrote.
36:08 Speaker 02 It's addressed to one of her sisters, inked in red ballpoint pen and wedged deep in the hundreds of pages in that police file. There's no date, but it sounds like it was written around the time she was leaving her daughters. I'm going to read it. I've edited it down some for time and clarity. She writes, "I started to come see you a couple of weeks ago. My ride turned off on I-10 coming back north. It's already beginning to get cold at night up here, but it's still hot as hell during the day. I don't have a permanent address. As soon as I do, I'll get in touch with you. I still have all the hangups I've ever had,
36:52 Speaker 02 but I try not to think of them. If I did, I'd be crazier than I already am. I love you and miss you, but I have to find myself. I've had too much hurt. I can't take anymore. When I stop hurting, maybe I can quit running." You couldn't understand why I wouldn't get in touch with anybody. You couldn't understand why I was running. I can't take any more hurt. And when you get close to somebody, you get hurt. I never will again. I try to block everything out of my mind. I can't always. But I never cry.
37:37 Speaker 02 I'll never cry again. Then you say, "Well, it's all my fault. I did it all myself." If you think so, investigate yourself and see. I got fucked. There ain't no two ways about it. But I'm tired of fighting. I've been fighting for 12 years. I don't have the strength to fight anymore. My own children didn't want me anymore. I've always done the best I could. My best must not be good enough. I don't mean to make you worry. You're the only one who offered to help. Everybody else said to never step foot in their house again.
38:22 Speaker 02 Well, I better close. Please don't worry about me. I haven't missed a meal yet. Never stay in one place long. Love ya and miss ya. Jan.
38:40 Speaker 02 This letter is the closest thing we have to the moment before she'd start running for the rest of her life. It reads of someone who is in a great deal of pain. And someone who can be incredibly manipulative. In it, she says she's been fighting for 12 years. That's about how long she and her husband had been together before she left for good. She also says people wouldn't allow her in their homes. I get the sense something happened to her reputation. Something was broken. Something that made her decide to start over. But I think she's also doing something else with this letter.
39:23 Speaker 02 She's laying out her plan. The accuracy here is almost breathtaking. She says she's been hurt and she's never going to let that happen again. So she's making a clean break with the people she loves. In fact, she's never going to get close to anyone again. And she's going to keep running. If this is the beginning of her con, it's almost like this is her manifesto. But of course, the point of a manifesto isn't just to lay out a plan. It's to get others on your side.
40:02 Speaker 02 Is that why she says her daughters, who again, weren't older than 10, wanted her to leave? Because that cannot be the truth. Those girls wondered where their mom was for 40 years. Or was this her biggest lie? When she was actually telling herself? After all this, I wanted to know from her son what his takeaway is. Do you think she's a bad person?
40:36 Speaker 04 To me, no, because the way she raised me and everything, I think she's a very good person. But I never knew about her past like that. I can't say she's a very horrible person, but I just think she's just a bad person for abandoning her daughters. And pretty much making a new life for herself.
40:57 Speaker 02 It's interesting. In the same police file where I found Janis's letter, her daughters described a mom that bore little resemblance to the one Janis's friends saw. Even the one David said he had. They don't describe her as a laid back mother playing with them on the floor. One daughter says Janis would take them to bars, leave them with whomever. She said she has no good memories of her mom. Throughout my reporting, I've debated whether to refer to her as Janis or Willie Joe. I settled on Janis. But as I read this letter, I wonder if I've gotten it
41:41 Speaker 02 wrong. To her, Willie Joe may not have just been a fake identity she hid behind, a way to keep her past from tracking her down. I think it's more like she had to kill Janis. She became that different person, and that's what she wanted. So when I think about the more than four decades-long search for Janice, how she spent years just a few towns away, unseen by a family who wondered where she was, maybe the reason she was so hard to find was because no one ever actually knew who they were looking for.
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43:09 Speaker 02 The Vanishing of Janice Rose is produced by Wild Night Media for Sony Music Entertainment's The Binge.
43:18 Speaker 02 The show was written, hosted, and executive produced by me, Larissa Campbell. The executive producers for the binge are Jonathan Hirsch and Catherine St. Louis. The show's senior producer and story editor is Lindsay Kilbride. Shiba Joseph provided production support, and Aleah Papes is the story's fact-checker. Mixing and sound design for this series by Scott Somerville, with music from Epidemic Sound and Blue Dot Sessions. The show's theme song is "Shake Me" by Lydia Ramsey. Legal review by Davis Wright Tremaine.
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