The Unflappable 49ers, Bad Coaching Galore, Drake Maye’s Rally, Tua’s Rough Cameo, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal

The Ringer’s Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to recap Ravens-Falcons and the rest of the Week 5 games. Then, they Guess the Lines for Week 6 before ending with Parent Corner and remembering their friend Paul Koehorst. (0:00) Intro (1:08) Ravens-Falcons and Giants-Commanders (21:47) Eagles-Jaguars and Broncos-Chargers (42:36) Raiders-Patriots and Bears-Packers (52:49) 49ers-Seahawks and Colts-Steelers (01:01:08) Lions-Cardinals and Browns-Jets (01:07:22) Bengals-Dolphins and Vikings-Saints (01:10:00) Guess the Lines Week 6 (01:26:38) Parent Corner (01:33:58) Remembering Paul Koehorst Host: Bill Simmons Guest: Cousin Sal Producers: Chia Hao Tat, Eduardo Ocampo, and Chris Wohlers #ULTRACourtside could get you closer to the game! https://michelobultra.com/courtside MICHELOB ULTRA® COURTSIDE ’26 to ’27. No Purchase Necessary. Open to US residents 21+ Begins on 10/1/26 and ends on 6/30/27. Multiple entry periods. See Official Rules at https://michelobultra.com/courtside for free entry, entry deadlines, prizes, and details. The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please visit https://fanduel.com/playwithaplan to learn more about the resources and helplines. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Bill Simmons?

  This episode is brought to you by PayPal. The holiday rush is coming and you can get ahead of it with PayPal. Shop your favorite online stores with PayPal this season like eBay for collectibles, Fanatics for teen gear, Walmart for tech. Check out the flexibility to pay now or pay later and split your payments with Pay in four with no interest, no late fees. Shop now with PayPal. Paying for subject to approval. Learn more at paypal.com slash paying for PayPal, Inc., NMLS 910457.

• 0:39Bill Simmons?

  This is the Bill Simmons Podcast presented by FanDuel. Make every NFL week more rewarding with FanDuel Rewards Club. You heard me. Just bet like you normally would, earn points on eligible subtle bets, win or lose. Keep collecting points, level up and unlock bigger rewards. So keep an eye on your rewards club progress and see what you can unlock. This is your most rewarding season ever and it's with FanDuel. 21 plus select states or 18 plus DC or Wyoming. Game probability 1-800-GAMBLER or call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org/chat in Connecticut.

• 1:41Bill Simmons?

  The Bill Simmons Podcast. We are live on Netflix. Cousin Sal is here. Tua is going to be here in a second. He's going to throw a podcast ending pick.

• 1:50Speaker 01

  He's coming back.

• 1:51Bill Simmons?

  Wow. Yeah, he's coming back. New rewatchables for me coming tomorrow. We're doing horror movies this month. I don't know if we're going to do the whole month of them, but we're doing Friday the 13th, the original 1980. Some people think it's a Jason movie. It's not. Turns out there's a little twist in there, but anyway, that is coming tomorrow and then we'll have another one next week. Okay. Week five, which lasted 14 hours and 19 minutes. That's how long week five was. It just kept going and going and going. Went into overtime with Baltimore and Atlanta. We got overtime.

• 2:23Speaker 01

  What do we? If you would have said, I'm trying to think of what movie, what Halloween movie you would compare it to like, all right.

• 2:29Bill Simmons?

  All of them. This was all 10 in a row.

• 2:31Speaker 01

  It's going to be a 14 hour day and it's going to end with Tua throwing interceptions. Like, oh, that's, that's Godfather three. What was that Halloween six? I don't know. Or somewhere.

• 2:39Bill Simmons?

  Now, it had the makings of Halloween four and then when Tua showed up, it became Halloween five or Halloween seven. And also for Atlanta was shaping up to be one of the great weekends in Atlanta history because you had, you had the dream making the WNBA finals. I don't know one person who had money on it. And it was such a surprise that they don't have a place for them to play because there's a concert happening. So they're figuring that out, but still exciting. Angel Reese is becoming the queen of Atlanta. You have this Falcons resurgence. You have Michael Vicks in the house and, and Sunday Night Football.

• 3:14Speaker 01

  They just announced they're playing that game at a Waffle House in Buckhead.

• 3:17Bill Simmons?

  So I think, I think that's about how big it's going to be. It's going to be 3,500 people. How did they not figure this out? How does, like this, this league has so many obstacles against it. Anyway, Tyler Huntley is now eight, nine career over seven years as a Ravens backup. And we watched terrible quarterback play every week and somehow he can't get a job. I don't understand it. Explain it to me.

• 3:39Speaker 01

  He was good. I don't know if it's this offense, but I loved this team this week. I was more against Atlanta. I was like, are they really, they're going to win all three prime time games? Like you could have gotten like 10 to one odds on them, like just running the table and blowing everyone out in prime time. And, you know, aside from that defensive touchdown, which a little bit is fault, sure. But I, I just, I just liked them. I like them. I just, it's amazing though, that we had to watch 31 coaches before one of them made a good choice and that was Jesse Minter. It's like taking the ball in overtime. And like, I don't know, like Collinsworth seemed to be against it, but I'm always like, what the hell? It's, you got the bruising, the most physical running back in football against a tired defense and you could get the ball twice.

• 4:23Speaker 01

  Of course you're taking the ball.

• 4:25Bill Simmons?

  You just went down the field on them. You're playing a team that the most traumatic moment in the history of the franchise happened after they, a team came back and got a touchdown and a two point against them to go in overtime and then got the ball. Huntley put together an eight point drive in the last three minutes. And I think there were some stats online about how rare that was, especially for backup QB. But that, the Atlanta thing for me, we can talk about Baltimore in a second, but it felt the whole game, it felt like it last week and it felt like it in the weird Thursday night game against Green Bay, like, like they had stumbled into something with Penix, who I think we had all written off mentally as this guy, they took number eight when they'd already just signed Cousins. He had a couple ACLs.

• 5:07Bill Simmons?

  Now he had a third ACL and it just seemed like a sunk cost pick. I thought he was excellent this entire game and, and I thought he was zinging the ball around. I thought the Ravens were doing really good stuff defensively against them. And then finally they got him at the end and they nailed them and it seemed like he actually got hurt. Tua is looming over the game as soon as he's down in the, if you're a Falcons fan, you're like, oh my God. So I'm watching with House. It goes into overtime. Baltimore scores. Falcons defense is dead. We're debating whether they should go one for two or for one or for two. But it's clear two is coming in the game. We're like, oh, just go for one. Like two is going to throw them a pick. We're waiting for it. House and they are arguing about the rules. If you catch the interception, is the game end or do you have to go down? Cause I was like, no, no, no, no.

• 5:51Bill Simmons?

  If you, if you catch it, the game ends.

• 5:54Speaker 01

  Oh, you thought so?

• 5:55Bill Simmons?

  Really? Well, can't like, you can't go for a pick six because the game kind of is over once you get the interception.

• 6:00Speaker 01

  Interesting.

• 6:00Bill Simmons?

  You just go down and it's over. And I was like, I don't know if you have to go down. And House was like, no, no, you have to. And as we're arguing about this, he throws a pick and the game ends.

• 6:07Speaker 01

  He did it and it ended.

• 6:09Bill Simmons?

  We're arguing about his pick that he hasn't even thrown yet. And he throws it there in the argument because that's what.

• 6:14Speaker 01

  You think he heard you?

• 6:15Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. He might've.

• 6:16Speaker 01

  I mean, it really, because he came in for the one play and then Penix tried to come back in, right? Before, before that and he completed the pass. I was like, this could be the greatest Tua performance of all time. If he came in one for one and then just bailed and somehow Atlanta won this game and overtime. Yeah. Yeah. But, uh, yeah, I don't know if you, you might be right about that. So if he fumbled that ball and the Ravens ran it in, it wouldn't, wouldn't matter? An interception?

• 6:42Bill Simmons?

  I don't know. I think the game ends, but I'm probably wrong. Listen, don't, don't, I don't know if I'm right. I feel like I saw Atlanta had zero turnovers today until that pick. They were nine for 17 on first down until the final drive. They're moving the ball against a team that I thought was pretty well coached and Baltimore takes it. They're four and one. Now they have 13, 13 wins in the AFC North through five weeks. Turns out we have that division and we have the, the NFC West seems like the two divisions.

• 7:10Speaker 01

  It's pretty good. Yeah. I underestimated the AFC North for sure. I think I overestimated the NFC North and then underestimated the AFC North. I can't even say the words, but yeah, I think, I, I don't know. It was at a point where the Ravens maybe could have run away with it after that Cowboys win, which is not so important now. And now, now it's, everybody's bunched up, including Deshaun. I'm not even counting Deshaun out yet. It's weird.

• 7:37Bill Simmons?

  Can we get a kidney stones update for you before we keep going?

• 7:40Speaker 01

  I hate it though.

• 7:41Bill Simmons?

  America wants to know.

• 7:43Speaker 01

  It's not great. I had a procedure the other day and it, it wasn't very successful. So I have to go through the more invasive one this week with, right through the penis hole. And, uh, so now I have, it's supposed to be blasted into many, many dozens of small pieces that I could pass, but instead it was only blasted into two pieces that I still can't pass because they're too big. So it's just a.

• 8:06Bill Simmons?

  So this has been pain, pain medication for two and a half weeks and you're doing pods and stuff?

• 8:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, this is an easy job. I'm sorry. I don't want to, you know?

• 8:15Bill Simmons?

  You do have like a sly smile on your face that I don't remember seeing. Another day you're just kind of like, hey.

• 8:21Speaker 01

  I do, I, I feel for people because it's easy to get hooked on this stuff. I don't want to minimize it really, but I'm, I'm tingly right now.

• 8:29Bill Simmons?

  Sounds great. I felt tingly for 14 plus hours of, of football. Okay. Big picture. I guess we have, we officially have a cross off team. We were debating last, last week between Arizona and the Chargers. We took the Chargers.

• 8:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:43Bill Simmons?

  And Arizona this week. Arizona all week. I took them in Ringer 107 on Thursday, which I'm not going to apologize for. I didn't know they were punting on the season. I take them on Thursday, plus four and a half against Detroit. I thought they would be able to move the ball back and forth against Detroit. And then they just put Marvin Harrison up for auction on Saturday.

• 9:01Speaker 01

  Right.

• 9:01Bill Simmons?

  And trade him, but make him inactive. And it turns out he's going to Houston. It's like, oh, I guess, I guess we're punting on the season now. Uh, and Detroit waxed them. So anyway, I think Arizona.

• 9:10Speaker 01

  We're reporting that he's getting traded, but whoa, who to? What? Don't worry about that. He's just go. Like I hadn't seen anything like that before. Like Schefter could do that? Now we could do that? We could just like.

• 9:19Bill Simmons?

  Our guy, Pellicero started it. Four Saturdays in a row. He's had something that got the news going.

• 9:25Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 9:25Bill Simmons?

  And it was, it was a mess. I think what happened is Houston's like, we're in on this trade, but can we just make sure we beat Tennessee?

• 9:32Speaker 01

  Right. That is exactly.

• 9:33Bill Simmons?

  If we, if we lose to Tennessee, trade tough. So they're like, all right, all right, we won an asset, we won an asset.

• 9:39Speaker 01

  Cause if they're 0-5, that second round pick all of a sudden is a little, little pricier, right? It's like a little, little more appealing.

• 9:45Bill Simmons?

  Oh, I don't know if that would have been my first choice in the grocery store from the Texans GM to get another receiver.

• 9:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:51Bill Simmons?

  Like I, I might've looked at running back or tackle.

• 9:54Speaker 01

  Right, right, right.

• 9:55Bill Simmons?

  Before I looked at, uh, the receiver thing. But anyway, so we have for cross offs, Miami, Tennessee, Chargers, Arizona. I think for the best three teams in the league, I think they're all in the NFC West. Cause and we'll talk about the Seahawks game in a second, but their, their hole is running back, but they'll be able to fix that before, before the trade deadline. The Niners are playing the best of anyone in the league and the Rams have the highest ceiling. And I think, I think it starts with those three. Is there anyone else you would?

• 10:22Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 10:23Bill Simmons?

  Near them? I would not.

• 10:24Speaker 01

  I guess if the, man, well, what happens if the Bills beat the, beat the Rams? Then you kind of have to, they have to jump the Rams then, right?

• 10:33Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Then they're top.

• 10:33Bill Simmons?

  If they jumped the Rams with their defense.

• 10:36Speaker 01

  They would, if they won by double digits on the road.

• 10:39Bill Simmons?

  I think they nudged the Rams out and then it just becomes San Francisco one and probably Seattle two.

• 10:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, that was a great game.

• 10:45Bill Simmons?

  Baltimore in there. Um, looking like the playoff stuff right now, if you just look at the standings, it would be Buffalo, Baltimore, Jacksonville, KC is the division champs, Giants, Vikings, Panthers, 49ers. Those would be our eight division champs right now. I'm gonna, I'm gonna bet that's not gonna last.

• 11:04Speaker 01

  So funny. We don't have the chief. You have the Chiefs in your top five at least? The undefeated Chiefs?

• 11:08Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 11:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:10Bill Simmons?

  I had the Chiefs in top five. Um, okay. Let's talk about one of the funniest games in NFL history, Giants, Washington. And absolutely.

• 11:19Speaker 01

  We're laughing.

• 11:19Bill Simmons?

  Tour de force. I was lucky enough to watch this with Joe House and a few others, including Dave Chang, who came over.

• 11:26Speaker 01

  Oh, that's right.

• 11:27Bill Simmons?

  Redskins fan, um, who made some stews and I'll talk about him in a second. But it ends up, if you were going to pick any game this entire season to end with a tie, you probably would have said this. It ends with Scataboo fumbling when they're just running out the clock to go kick the game winning field goal. Somehow he fumbles. And then Washington comes back down and everybody knows what happened at this point, but I think one of the single craziest, it was a little reminiscent of Dak in that playoff game.

• 11:55Speaker 01

  Oh, I thought we were gonna have fun here for a few minutes. All right.

• 11:58Bill Simmons?

  This was way worse. Cause it was clear, some, something got lost in the translation. He thought they had a timeout or he brain farted. They didn't tell him he had a timeout and the clock just runs out. And I think, my thing is maybe the guy misses the field goal anyway, but holy mackerel. So the Giants get this free tie. And the only, you know, if you go to win totals from before the year, it doesn't feel like the Redskins minus seven and a half or over seven and a half for a win. You don't get it. It just doesn't count. But this was, has there been a dumber game?

• 12:30Speaker 01

  No, I don't think so. I just think like with these coaches, like I think AI has infiltrated the brains of all the coaches, but specifically the NFC East coaches, like in a negative way, eating at the medulla or whatever. And it could, it could spread to the NFC North if we don't do something about it now. But yeah, and Dan Quinn is a Cowboys coach, so he can't help it. Formerly, but I don't know. Like it's so funny. They interview these guys afterwards. They interviewed the backup tight end, some lineman and you know, they all say something different. It's probably Jaden Daniels fault. It's probably like, he has to get rid of that ball immediately.

• 13:04Bill Simmons?

  So if you did power rankings, he's one.

• 13:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:07Bill Simmons?

  Probably the OC and the coach. Tomlin said before, or at halftime, he was saying, that's gotta go in the headset. You gotta tell him, yo, yo, yo, just remember to get it in the right hash mark and call.

• 13:18Speaker 01

  Well, get rid of it immediately. Yeah.

• 13:20Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 13:20Speaker 01

  I mean, you got guys in the end zone that are never going to get back to the line of scrimmage. And the guys that are interviewed are like, you know, I don't know. We just gotta, and the, the coaches are all like, I gotta do better. Like how many times are we going to see the same interview from 10 different coaches? Like I, we gotta do better. We have to communicate better.

• 13:35Bill Simmons?

  We, we agree. You definitely have to do better. It was one of those, you know, when we were growing up, there was always that video of Jim Marshall running the wrong way for the Vikings for the touchdown and celebrating. And then it turned out he ran. So there's been moments like that. I felt like this was up there.

• 13:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:51Bill Simmons?

  That just somebody, would they have 55 seconds left? They ran one more play. And easily could have felt like the Giants couldn't believe it. They're celebrating. It's the first time anyone's celebrated a tie like that.

• 14:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:03Bill Simmons?

  And they end up, they're three, one and one in the division. Somehow they're in the lead. But, uh, but for Washington, I, we'll see tomorrow. I, do you think that's it for Quinn?

• 14:13Speaker 01

  I think they keep him unless they, I, I, I think Daniels is going to take internally the blame here. And if I were one of these players that's getting interviewed, I'd be like, listen, it's definitely one guy's fault. I'll give you a hint. It's a dude. That's all I'm going to say. I'm not throwing anyone, anyone under the bus, but of course it's someone's fault. You know, that's the same, same one over and over. They weren't close to, they had like nine more seconds. They wouldn't have gotten that playoff.

• 14:38Bill Simmons?

  Everything about it felt weird as you were watching it with like 20 seconds left. I was like, what it, what's going on here? What are they gonna?

• 14:47Bill Simmons?

  Oh, three seconds too. Uh, they're trying and it's over.

• 14:49Speaker 01

  Yeah. Chris Myers, your boy Chris Myers was giddy. He was like on top of it. He's like, I don't think they're gonna get this. No, it's over. It's actually over.

• 14:59Bill Simmons?

  Say Chris Myers went from just being relegated to the NFC South to now calling some of the stupidest games ever that go into overtime. He's there for four hours.

• 15:08Speaker 01

  I think we could find you a worse game, Chris. We're gonna, we're gonna get you out of Carolina for this week or whatever.

• 15:14Bill Simmons?

  Well, we had Jameis going 36 for 54 for 306. No, no interceptions somehow. It was the full experience. And the first half, it looked like he was going to get pulled.

• 15:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:23Bill Simmons?

  And he was all over the map with his throws and it just felt like, you know, is J, is it J.J. McCarthy time? We're getting close. And then he kind of rallied and then neighbors who was targeted 20 times was 11 for 121. He was good in this game.

• 15:38Speaker 01

  Right.

• 15:38Bill Simmons?

  And I, I thought Daniels was pretty exciting for somebody who had a giant left elbow thing. He ran for two touchdowns. But in, in general, kind of had the same feel he had two years ago. The weather wasn't great.

• 15:49Speaker 01

  I did too. I felt bad for him with that. I really did. Like that, that's not how it should have ended. I'm not now, I'm, I'm sorry. I haven't looked at the NFC East. I don't even know why I'm crucifying myself here. Yeah.

• 16:00Bill Simmons?

  Well, I have, I have an email from TJ in Denver.

• 16:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:03Bill Simmons?

  He asked if there's ever been a more embarrassing week for a football division.

• 16:07Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 16:08Bill Simmons?

  Your team lost at home on a Thursday night to a winless Tampa Bay team with an undrafted QB that nobody heard of. Your QB got heckled leaving the game.

• 16:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:18Bill Simmons?

  By somebody who I guess got fired. Philly lost, even though they took a lead with eight seconds left. And then the Giants and Washington would shout out whatever the hell happened in that game for a tie. That is about as, the NFC South even can't say. I feel like you did this.

• 16:36Speaker 01

  I did it. Yeah.

• 16:37Bill Simmons?

  You'd made so much fun of the NFC South that you turned your own division into the NFC South.

• 16:41Speaker 01

  You know what, Bill? I have to communicate better. I have to communicate with my sources and division leaders and everybody else. But yeah, I, I think you're right. I think I might've done this. All right, TJ, TJ from Denver. Sorry. We don't all get to play the Chargers every week, but uh, yeah, it's disgusting. What do I want to say? It's, it's embarrassing. We joked on the Friday show like, maybe the commanders and Giants will tie. That's how nobody gets wins in this division. Everyone keeps tying, but yeah, really bad. How do you pick a winner? Dallas is favored, plus 135? Stupid.

• 17:11Bill Simmons?

  Sadly, we're in California and couldn't live bet this appropriately, but um, House was convinced it was going to end with a tie when we were doing the coin toss.

• 17:18Speaker 01

  Oh, really?

• 17:19Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. He was like, oh my God, this is the easiest tie call ever. But we thought it was going to be 30, 30 tie. We didn't, we didn't realize.

• 17:27Speaker 01

  Field goal each in overtime?

• 17:28Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, we didn't realize nobody was gonna score.

• 17:31Speaker 01

  How do you not have a car that goes 450 miles an hour that can get us to the Arizona border to bet these legally and vandal? And then back in time for the league?

• 17:39Bill Simmons?

  Pretty soon we'll have air cabs.

• 17:41Speaker 01

  Good.

• 17:42Bill Simmons?

  Poll results. First coach fired on Netflix. They just did this. Quinn, 41%. Harbaugh, 32%. And then Sirianni, um, I guess had the rest of that. But.

• 17:55Speaker 01

  Do you think that's fair?

• 18:00Bill Simmons?

  I think Harbaugh should be fired. He's, that is the worst coach, worst run, um, most dispirited team. We've talked about this last week, the week before. I feel like we've done podcast segments every week. I have them coming up later. I gotta talk about primal fear, Dave Chang.

• 18:16Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 18:17Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. So remember in primal fear, Ed Norton played this normal stuttering, nice guy, but then he was also this evil guy. Sorry, spoiler alert.

• 18:26Speaker 01

  Right.

• 18:27Bill Simmons?

  Movie came out 30 years ago.

• 18:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:29Bill Simmons?

  Chang has decided he wants Washington to keep losing to get the number one pick.

• 18:34Speaker 01

  Oh, I hate that.

• 18:34Bill Simmons?

  So he's watching the game, getting mad when good things are happening. But then near the end, when it seems like they might win, he's rooting for Washington. And he's just going back and forth, rooting for Washington and then rooting against them. And either way, he's upset. I've never seen anybody navigate this before where they never have joy, no matter what happens.

• 18:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:54Bill Simmons?

  He's upset when, when they're, when it's not going well, but then he's also upset when it goes well.

• 19:00Speaker 01

  Right.

• 19:01Bill Simmons?

  So you can imagine, so at the end, it was like basically this primal fear test for Chang. How is this gonna play out with this crazy ending? Which is one of the dumbest endings we've ever seen in the history of football. And does it? And he's screaming at the TV how stupid Washington is. I can't believe we blew it. And it's like, you, it was, I can't even describe it.

• 19:20Speaker 01

  You were fine with this?

• 19:21Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. You were all over the place.

• 19:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:24Bill Simmons?

  So basically, I think, I think Chang needs sports therapy. We have therapy for real things. We don't ever talk about, maybe, maybe you need to take some time out and talk to somebody. I think he needs it with the Washington commanders slash Redskins. I think he needs to talk to somebody and figure out where his head's at. Cause it's all over the place and I'm honestly a little worried about him.

• 19:43Speaker 01

  I think it's a real thing. I honestly, people are gonna laugh at that, but whatever upsets you, right? There are dumber things that upset people that they go talk about in therapy that no one will make fun of, right? But if sports is really what gets you angry for three days a week or whatever, you know, and Chang doesn't even have like, well, he does have fantasy and stuff in pools and stuff like that and bets.

• 20:04Bill Simmons?

  He's in pools I didn't even know about. He's in pools with you that you guys didn't even invite me in. And I introduced you to Chang.

• 20:10Speaker 01

  How dare you? I didn't, you know.

• 20:12Bill Simmons?

  I feel like I should be mad about this.

• 20:14Speaker 01

  All right. You got me back by not inviting me to your house today, so it's fine.

• 20:17Bill Simmons?

  You couldn't have come. You have fucking kidney stones.

• 20:19Speaker 01

  It wouldn't have been funny.

• 20:20Bill Simmons?

  You're allowed to drive.

• 20:21Speaker 01

  If I would have shot that thing right into Chang as he was deciding if he liked, loved or hated the commanders. I was gonna go off on, on, uh, House tomorrow and be like, listen, this is, this is your division to lose. You have the best team right now in the NFC East. I still think that.

• 20:37Bill Simmons?

  House is a good, good Washington fan. He roots for them. He roots for Jay Daniels. He does not really like Dan Quinn that much. But it feels like they're headed for a house cleaning.

• 20:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:49Bill Simmons?

  One, three and one's really bad. The Giants, three, three, they're a say what you, say what you want about, dot, dot, dot. You know how people do that about teams, people?

• 20:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:00Bill Simmons?

  Entertainers, whoever, well, say what you want about, dot, dot, dot. Their Giants being three and one and one is definitely, that'll get, they'll get a lot of that this way. Well, I say what you want about the Giants, but you know, they're in the right place. That, you know, you only need nine, seven and one probably gets them in. That might be enough to win the division.

• 21:16Speaker 01

  Yep. They're not losing. Well, I mean, Harbaugh crystallized it. What did he say? He's like, uh, it's not a win and it's not a loss. It's a tie and that's what I told my guys.

• 21:26Bill Simmons?

  Did he, is that what he said?

• 21:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's like, basically said that, yeah.

• 21:30Bill Simmons?

  You could make up a Harbaugh quote after every, yeah, it'd be like, what, did he say this or not? And I would really have a lot of trouble doing that.

• 21:37Speaker 01

  That should be a Netflix poll. Which one of these four are actually a Harbaugh quote?

• 21:42Bill Simmons?

  Does primal fear Chang need to talk to somebody about his relationship with Washington?

• 21:45Speaker 01

  Get that up there too.

• 21:48Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, so we have that.

• 21:49Speaker 01

  So what are they? Seven and a half? Uh, so Fandel straddles this. It's six and a half or seven and a half for the Giants.

• 21:58Bill Simmons?

  For the win total?

• 21:59Speaker 01

  For the win total.

• 22:00Bill Simmons?

  They have three wins already.

• 22:01Speaker 01

  Overs minus 160, over six and a half.

• 22:05Bill Simmons?

  What's the division? Right now you got me excited, look at this.

• 22:07Speaker 01

  I know.

• 22:07Bill Simmons?

  So the division, your stupid team is still favored to win the division.

• 22:11Speaker 01

  So dumb.

• 22:11Bill Simmons?

  Eagles are second, Giants are plus 380. And the commanders are now plus 800. You're plus 135.

• 22:20Bill Simmons?

  And then Philly, who, let's talk about them, cause that's the third coach.

• 22:25Speaker 01

  Let's do it.

• 22:26Bill Simmons?

  Who, or that's at least the second coach in, in the who should get fired. So the London game.

• 22:34Bill Simmons?

  It's just guaranteed you wake up at 7:15 and you know, you know shit's gone down. Uh, there was a fight with Jeremiah Trotter getting kicked out. They had Jacksonville went flying down and scored a touchdown early. And then they got the ball back and it just felt like they were gonna go up 40 to nothing. And then all of a sudden the Eagles are back. Anyway, I, I wrote down, don't bet on the London game, volume 54. And all of it ended with an absolute miracle teaser cover. I was one of many people who had the Jaguars and the Texans and it was a what could go wrong? And you know what could go wrong? Everything the Jaguars did. They had 408 yards to 232 for Philly. They had 13 penalties for a hundred yards.

• 23:16Bill Simmons?

  Um, of course the backup snapper came in, cause I think that happens once a year in the London games, we get a backup snapper or some sort of wild, or a backup kicker. There's always some sort of backup you don't expect. And, uh, and they did everything they possibly could do to lose this game.

• 23:33Speaker 01

  That holder was great, by the way. I don't know if there's a holder of the month or a holder of the week or something.

• 23:38Bill Simmons?

  They should do that?

• 23:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, maybe. And like, did they give him?

• 23:41Bill Simmons?

  The State Farm holder of the week.

• 23:42Speaker 01

  They give him the game ball and he's just like, I, I don't wanna touch anything. Just leave it alone. I'm diving to places damn thing. But yeah, no, he was, he was great and, um.

• 23:52Bill Simmons?

  What did Hensh text us that he was just like, every step is gonna be high guys.

• 23:57Speaker 01

  He's expecting the worst.

• 23:59Bill Simmons?

  This will never have any variance. You're gonna be like this on every step.

• 24:04Bill Simmons?

  But anyway, they end up, they, they finally somehow fall behind with eight seconds left and get the kickoff. And Sirianni took shit for this. He apologized for it after. I 100% support the kick it off and run time when they don't have timeouts. Get a fucking stop with your kick returner. How about this? Don't give up 50 yards to the kick returner. And that was not the wrong move. That was not what happened with your team.

• 24:30Speaker 01

  What if you did give up, you had given up 50 yards in the opening kickoff and it was only, you lucked out.

• 24:36Bill Simmons?

  Just tackle him. That's the whole point of, of coaching a team and having a preseason and you've had four games already. This, this is it. This guy has to go 40 to 50 yards for them to have a chance. How does he do it? How do you let that up? Like if, if I'm putting my hands, it's like, we win this game unless this guy returns a kick for 50 yards. I feel good about that bet. So anyway, he does it.

• 25:00Speaker 01

  Well, no, the other thing is, so you're right. So if it kicks it into the end zone, they get it to the 25 and then you're talking about.

• 25:05Bill Simmons?

  35?

• 25:06Speaker 01

  35. And then, then you're talking about like a 30 yard pass, 25 yard pass gets it. And that's, that's doable in five seconds, so.

• 25:13Bill Simmons?

  We've seen it, we saw it two weeks ago. It's a 15 yard pass to the 49.

• 25:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:18Bill Simmons?

  And then Little comes in. By the way, that kick he made, that would have been good from.

• 25:21Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 25:22Bill Simmons?

  From 70, so I don't know.

• 25:24Speaker 01

  Setting up, yeah.

• 25:25Bill Simmons?

  I'm kicking off, I'm making Amir Abdullah beat me. And I'm gonna bet on all these guys I have on this allegedly talented team that somebody's gonna be able to tackle.

• 25:34Speaker 01

  But that wasn't the shitty part. Like they should have killed clock before that. It shouldn't have been mad. That's what I got mad at with Sirianni. And he, he's another one that says they have to communicate more. Everybody says they have to communicate more. It's weird.

• 25:46Bill Simmons?

  These guys have headsets on and they're not communicating enough.

• 25:49Speaker 01

  That's not the way. You need like sky riding, you need a, a plane to fly in or something. You and I used to joke, and it wasn't even a joke about Madden. Like these guys should have to play a thousand hours in Madden, right?

• 25:59Bill Simmons?

  We would joke about that in the 2000, late 2000s.

• 26:02Speaker 01

  Yeah. And so, well, I think we settled on, there should be a Madden specialist. What is it like a 16 year old kid or something on the sideline to tell you what to do? Now I think it's the full time gig. It's just like, it's the coaching gig. It seems to be like 50% of the job is figuring out these endings. They're all the same. Like we're better than these coaches at figuring out how to kill clock. Even in the first half, the end of the first half with Cohen screaming to add a second. They snapped the ball at five seconds. Like you don't get to add a second, scream about a second being added when, you know, Lawrence is hesitating and then throws, sails it through the end zone, uh, snapping it with five. Like you're lucky you got another second and they, they didn't, they didn't do anything anyway, but it's really weird.

• 26:43Bill Simmons?

  Liam Cohen was equally terrible. Yeah, I, I've been talking about this for 20 years since the famous Belichick fourth and two. You can bring the math into it, but the play also has to make sense too. Like, you know, the Jags, they, who were inside the five yard line, it felt like for 12 plays during that game, you know? And there, there was one fourth and one where they decide to do the, the wide receiver running, quick handoff sweep that I think works one out of 10 times.

• 27:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:09Bill Simmons?

  That gets stuffed. And it's like, oh man, they went for it. The mass said to go for it. It's like, did the mass say to do the dumbest play possible? When you have six foot six Trevor Lawrence who could just sneak and fall forward? So they did that. And then, then they did the same thing when they were in there the second time. They got to the first, they got to, uh, to first and goal from the one. All of a sudden they're bringing the wildcat in and then somebody false starts. It's like, just bring your six foot six quarterback and have him fall forward three times. He's gonna get a yard.

• 27:38Speaker 01

  No doubt. Yeah.

• 27:39Bill Simmons?

  Every coach. I don't understand it. It's like they're, it's like they're trying to impress us. So, oh, Liam Cohen, unbelievable first and goal from the one play. Wide receiver sleep, sweep, wow. Really smart, good play.

• 27:54Speaker 01

  And then like, you know, they say, all right, the first three weeks, the offensive line has to gel. They didn't play together in preseason, a lot of them, so you're gonna see some shitty football. Like the coaching just never gets better. It really doesn't matter what week it is. Like, I, I really feel like, like 20 of these guys were just god awful today. You ask what, what's the poll for those, like those three should all get fired at once. It should be like, remember like the first Hall of Fame induction in baseball was like, they had like Ty Cobb.

• 28:19Bill Simmons?

  We have a class?

• 28:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, Ty Cobb, Ruth and Cy Young, whatever. Yeah, so that.

• 28:24Bill Simmons?

  I thought Bull should have been fired Thursday night when he went for it, up 14. When he went for it on, uh, or what was he up? 14 or 17?

• 28:32Speaker 01

  14, they were at the one yard line, yeah.

• 28:34Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. And, and field goal ends the game, you turn the TV off if they're up 17. He's like, no, watch this.

• 28:39Speaker 01

  I said that.

• 28:40Bill Simmons?

  I'm gonna go for it.

• 28:41Speaker 01

  It was exactly that. My theory was that some Amazon executive got in his headset and said, hey, people, people can tune out if this is a three score game. Uh, we'll give you a hundred grand if you just.

• 28:50Bill Simmons?

  Indiana Jazz is like, make the call, make the call.

• 28:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:53Bill Simmons?

  I thought, uh, I thought it was a truly, truly atrocious Liam Cohen game, but I'm willing to give him benefit of the doubt because it was in London.

• 29:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:02Bill Simmons?

  So I think people go to London, they just, they lose their minds. Jalen Carter was incredible in that game.

• 29:07Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 29:08Bill Simmons?

  For two hours, you knew it wasn't sustainable and then he finally slowed down. Hertz had a couple of good throws, but for the most part, this Eagles offense. What do you think they are in three and outs this year?

• 29:18Speaker 01

  How many? I know going in.

• 29:19Bill Simmons?

  Percentage.

• 29:20Speaker 01

  Oh, I don't know. Going into the week, they had the most, but uh, um.

• 29:24Bill Simmons?

  Three and outs.

• 29:24Speaker 01

  Twenty five.

• 29:25Bill Simmons?

  Zero percent to a hundred percent.

• 29:27Speaker 01

  I'll say twenty five, so you could, you could, I could say wow after you give your answer. Go ahead.

• 29:31Bill Simmons?

  Forty five.

• 29:32Speaker 01

  Oh, forty five.

• 29:33Bill Simmons?

  Higher.

• 29:34Speaker 01

  Wow, all right. That seems unremarkable. I don't know.

• 29:39Speaker 01

  Forty five is not a lot?

• 29:40Bill Simmons?

  Forty five percent.

• 29:41Speaker 01

  All right.

• 29:42Bill Simmons?

  I, listen, if you're played five games of, of professional football and almost half the time you've had a three and out.

• 29:50Speaker 01

  Oh, forty five of your drive. I'm sorry, I missed.

• 29:51Bill Simmons?

  Forty five percent.

• 29:52Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, that's bad. Yeah, that's bad.

• 29:55Bill Simmons?

  Well, we made this joke a couple of years ago. I talked about it with House on Thursday.

• 30:00Bill Simmons?

  It, I think it was Doug Peterson. We had a listener, somebody made the, I think it was a listener emailed in a joke about, um, that Doug should, or maybe we came up with that, that Doug should have to ride. He gets fired in London and then they send him for a middle seat home. And he's just riding coach in the middle.

• 30:18Speaker 01

  Was it, was it Lombardi?

• 30:19Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Maybe it was, maybe it was Lombardi.

• 30:22Speaker 01

  It was.

• 30:22Bill Simmons?

  Mid, middle seat Doug. And that became a thing. And I felt like Sirianni could be middle seat Sirianni.

• 30:29Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 30:31Bill Simmons?

  It's like, hey, yeah, uh, that's it. And, uh, listen, you're, you're not going to be on the team playing. Here's your ticket. Virgin Airlines, it's coach, sorry.

• 30:41Speaker 01

  Now, does he ride with Big Dom or Big Dom is free of all?

• 30:45Bill Simmons?

  No, Big.

• 30:45Speaker 01

  He stays, he sticks around.

• 30:47Bill Simmons?

  I mean, Big Dom gets involved. That might end up being like Tommy walking into, uh, thinking he's getting made.

• 30:51Speaker 01

  That's right. The plastic's on the floor.

• 30:53Bill Simmons?

  Big Dom's gonna take you out for a nice dinner. Oh, great. Where is it?

• 30:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:57Bill Simmons?

  Anyway.

• 30:58Speaker 01

  That middle seat, yeah.

• 30:59Bill Simmons?

  Um, a miracle teaser cover though. Miracle.

• 31:02Speaker 01

  I think you texted after the Eagles field goal, you're like, this, this is my worst loss in three years or something, right?

• 31:09Bill Simmons?

  I felt that way. Yeah, I was like, I, I don't, they've dominated this game. Really? They're gonna lose it? Um, we're gonna take a break and then we're gonna talk about the third coach that, uh, is in major trouble. Jim Harbaugh, right after this. The Bill Simmons Podcast is brought to you by FanDuel. It is your most rewarding season ever on FanDuel. How rewarding are we talking? More rewarding than an 18-point comeback? Maybe even more rewarding than an O lineman catching a touchdown. I always enjoy when that happens. In this NFL season, that feeling doesn't stop on the field. Look out for the all-new FanDuel Rewards Club. Exclusive offers, surprises and more. I was just in Boston playing around with this stuff. Somehow I'm level four in the Rewards Club. Thank you, FanDuel. That's great.

• 31:52Bill Simmons?

  Every week, check the FanDuel app to see what's waiting for you. Make this your most rewarding season ever with FanDuel. Download the app to get started. FanDuel, play your game. Twenty-one plus select states or 18 plus DC or Wyoming. Restrictions apply. See terms at sportsbook.fanduel.com. Game problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER or call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org/chat in Connecticut. This episode is brought to you by Michelob Ultra, the official beer sponsor of the NBA. And legitimately, my favorite beer. I was drinking them at Fenway Park actually recently. It's tip off and I can't wait to see in person. The best thing for me is when the new guys come in the league and you get to go check them out for the first time. Like when Wemby came in a couple of years ago.

• 32:38Bill Simmons?

  We have a great rookie class this year. I want to see Cam Boozer in person. I want to see DeBansa in person. Um, I want to see Darren Peterson in person. I'm excited for all of these dudes. Um, and I think that's my favorite thing about when the season starts, those first couple of months, when the newer guys start coming in. And then getting to see the old guys too, your old friends. Like Curry is a, is a can't miss. I gotta go see him in person every year. So, um, I think it's reuniting with old people you loved watching and then seeing the new blood too. But when I'm at the game, nothing better than watching one with a Michelob Ultra. Uh, a superior light beer with a distinctly smooth taste.

• 33:16Bill Simmons?

  Gets nice and cold, just good times. Good news for fans. Michelob Ultra giving you a chance to watch the game you love this season in person with courtside tickets and more. So enter now at michelobultra.com/courtside and maybe, maybe you'll luck out. Michelob Ultra Courtside 26 to 27. No purchase necessary. Opening US residents, 21 plus. Begins on October 1st, 2026, ends on June 30th, 2027. Multiple entry periods. See official rules at michelobultra.com/courtside for free entry, entry deadlines, prizes and details.

• 33:52Bill Simmons?

  So Chang made, uh, he made a sweet beef stew and then he made a, like more of a Korean spicier beef stew. And it was delicious. And we ate it at lunch and then I ate it two hours ago. And I'm like you, you're on medication. I feel like I've been medicated by beef stew. And David Chang's yelling in the combo, screaming at the TV.

• 34:13Speaker 01

  I'm pulling the curtain back here. You took some shine off because you're still sweating off the stew, but I like it.

• 34:19Bill Simmons?

  No, I forgot to put the AC on in the studio. I'm less shiny now, right?

• 34:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, you look very youthful.

• 34:25Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, thank you. Chargers Broncos is our other coach in peril. Denver stinks through without getting anything from Bo Nix.

• 34:33Speaker 01

  Right.

• 34:33Bill Simmons?

  It's, it feels like a miracle when he completes the third and eight. Today he had 16 for 27 for 123. They were one for 12 on third down. Waddle and Sutton, four for 37 combined. These were guys, what did Waddle go for? High twenties in, in fantasy?

• 34:49Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 34:50Bill Simmons?

  Thirty-one, something like that. Uh, and Sutton was, you know, also a good one.

• 34:55Speaker 01

  Have we figured out which plays Sean Payton's calling? Did he announce which ones?

• 34:59Bill Simmons?

  The one, the ones that they scored on are, or something good happened.

• 35:02Speaker 01

  The ones that work?

• 35:03Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Yeah. So Denver's three and two and just hanging around with no offense whatsoever. I don't understand it.

• 35:09Speaker 01

  And then not even the second half comeback. And you know how I know that? Cause I, I had Denver minus, uh, plus a half in the second half and they lost by one in the second half and still won the game. It's so stupid, but I, I, I don't know. I mean, you might be right about this Harbaugh thing. Does he want out?

• 35:25Bill Simmons?

  Well, first on Denver really quick.

• 35:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:29Bill Simmons?

  They just don't seem like they have it. I don't know what the fix is for them.

• 35:33Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 35:34Bill Simmons?

  They're just not explosive enough.

• 35:37Bill Simmons?

  They don't seem like they know what their offense is. Nix just doesn't throw the ball over. Like I thought they got Waddle because partly because he was really good at like catching balls over the middle and slants. And he was gonna, and then Sutton would be on the outside with the other guys they have. And they would have this inside and they don't have it at all. And the running game's like pretty blah. They had this really good offensive line that they can't seem to protect them.

• 36:01Speaker 01

  Right.

• 36:04Bill Simmons?

  I just don't get it. I don't know. I, the, the team just does not feel, a lot of the stuff that happened last year, what we're learning with this season. Feels like you just throw it out the window and it's like a reset button and a completely new season and set of teams.

• 36:17Speaker 01

  But I, I, cause I looked at this too. Were they the same team last year, but just scored a few more points? Cause it's one of my favorite stats that they were behind in 15 games last year.

• 36:25Bill Simmons?

  Well, I think the schedule was worse for them last year.

• 36:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:28Bill Simmons?

  But I mean, who was worse for them than playing the Chargers this week with five backup linemen? And, you know, the, the sixth, seventh and eighth receivers on the team. I can't imagine they played many worse teams than that last year. They barely won this game. It just seemed like they were gonna blow the game for two hours and then snuck it out. So, um, and they were favored by three and a half, right?

• 36:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was three and a half.

• 36:53Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Didn't seem like they were gonna cover that one for a while. They finally did. Herbert was sacked five times. They had three turnovers and it felt worse than that. He just was getting the shit kicked out of him. It really feels when you're watching, like it's gonna be his last game of the season that something bad's gonna happen. And he's gonna take the wrong hit. And then it finally happened in this game. Got up, kept going. And, you know, when I was growing up in New England, we had Jim Plunkett. That was like the first quarterback I knew who just got the shit kicked out of him for

• 37:22Speaker 01

  Right.

• 37:22Bill Simmons?

  the first seven years of my life, to the point that, you know, they traded the Niners, the Niners waived him. Like he was almost out of the league because he just got hit too much. And it feels like Herbert's heading to that.

• 37:35Speaker 01

  Plunkett won a Super Bowl though, didn't he?

• 37:36Bill Simmons?

  He, he got, left the league. Like he was out, went back to the Raiders, was a backup, but then had this career resurgence. Not saying that's how it's gonna play out for Herbert, but you can take too many hits. It happened with Bledsoe in 1999 and 2000. Uh, it, it changes how you quarterback after a while.

• 37:54Speaker 01

  I don't feel like we defend him a lot, but I might be done like even giving him a shred of defense. And I, I get the offensive line, like Slater and Alt, they're, they're, they're never play, they do play, but he's, the throws are just bad. And it's just, I, I know the, the talent's not there really anymore, but, um, I, I just, he, he reminds me of this guy Munoz on the Mariners. I don't know. We gotta get that in every week.

• 38:18Bill Simmons?

  All right. I'm glad we kept the streak alive. They're 0-5. They play at KC next week, bye week at the Rams, Houston.

• 38:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:27Bill Simmons?

  Really does not, it feels like that is probably 0-8. And even worse, Arizona's only win and now Arizona is tanking. So that hurts. McDaniel, I think I wrote down, he's gonna be either in the Big 12 or the Patriot League in, in 10 months. And then Harbaugh's legacy, I think we all thought he was an incredible hire and I know I did. Incredible hire, change, culture changer.

• 38:52Bill Simmons?

  And now his legacy is starting to shift to a guy who got banned from college football, who the guys from the Ringer Fantasy Football Show compared him to Joe Biden.

• 39:00Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 39:01Bill Simmons?

  And that's, that's, that's where he is in 2026. They cut to him on the sidelines and it looks like he's trying to catch flies in his mouth. He's just like.

• 39:09Speaker 01

  It, you're right. It doesn't help the Biden comparison when, when they ask him. Oh, it's still going. Has he got any, has he got any flies?

• 39:21Bill Simmons?

  He's just out of it.

• 39:24Speaker 01

  And they asked him, when you're 0-5, what's the message? And he said, I don't know. I don't know. He doesn't know.

• 39:31Bill Simmons?

  But is that, is that his dad? No, no, that's actually Jim Harbaugh. He's, he's just flatlining.

• 39:37Speaker 01

  Is it worse that the fact that he could have won three of these games? They could have won three of these games, right?

• 39:43Bill Simmons?

  I don't, I never felt in any of them. They were in position to win, but I never felt.

• 39:49Speaker 01

  This week?

• 39:50Bill Simmons?

  I never, ever felt watching like it almost was, was more the other team. Like, oh, man, are they really gonna screw this up?

• 39:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:57Bill Simmons?

  It wasn't like the Chargers were doing anything magical or great or anything. I don't know.

• 40:02Speaker 01

  You know what's good about it? Like even the announcers are, and I like Ross Tucker a lot. He was with Iron Eagle.

• 40:08Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, he was good.

• 40:09Speaker 01

  He's, he's very good. And he's like, he has that like Aikman, like, uh, just disapproval, like disappointment.

• 40:16Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, it gets disgusting.

• 40:17Speaker 01

  Oh, man, look, look at this line, the offensive line. They have no idea what they're doing right now. They have no idea what they're doing right now. And he says, uh, Herbert, yeah, this is like, no, he's just gonna do a hard count. Like, everyone's disgusted with the Chargers.

• 40:31Bill Simmons?

  Well, they had four rookie offensive linemen.

• 40:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:34Bill Simmons?

  And instead of simplifying the offense, like they came out in the second half and they ran this thing where, where Herbert was pretending to throw to the left and then whirled around and threw this bubble screen and like, you know, like five guys and it worked, but it wasn't exactly great. I got an email from Jabbar from Massachusetts, who wonders if we're watching the sequel to Obsession happening with Justin Herbert, that he did the one wish Willow to start dating Madison Beer, cause he's a shy guy and really wanted to date her.

• 41:05Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 41:05Bill Simmons?

  And he said, I wish Madison Beer would love me more than anyone else in the world. And now he's condemned to never win a football game. It did make me think, make me ponder.

• 41:13Speaker 01

  It's pretty good. They should ask Harbaugh about that.

• 41:16Bill Simmons?

  Indeed, no. I don't even, like with Herbert, if they did put him on the trade block, which they won't, but if they did, I don't even know what his value would be.

• 41:29Speaker 01

  That's a good question. And Trey Lance is out, right? Like, I'm trying to think of like even like, uh, like benching him at this point.

• 41:36Bill Simmons?

  Well, no, clearly he'd be worth a couple of first round picks as a reclamation project. But heading into this season.

• 41:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:42Bill Simmons?

  You had Jordan Love, Herbert, Purdy.

• 41:48Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 41:48Bill Simmons?

  Were kind of all together. You would have said, you could have argued about which one do you think is the best one? Who's gonna have the best year this year? Everybody liked those guys in fantasy. And now he feels like he's, you know, free fall backwards. And the only thing you can say in his benefit is like, we have watched this with people like Trevor Lawrence. Where, you know, there were moments where it just seemed like it was never happening.

• 42:11Speaker 01

  I don't know, clearly, you think clearly a couple of number one picks at this point? I mean, it just gets worse and worse. You really have to buy into the fact that it's. It's offensive line. You really have to 100% buy into. If he has a decent offensive line, he's gonna be, uh, gangbusters.

• 42:29Bill Simmons?

  Well, his receivers are bad, too.

• 42:31Speaker 01

  Yeah. That's no good either. That's the other thing Ross Tucker said. Yeah, he's like, how is he gonna come back with these receivers with one minute left?

• 42:38Bill Simmons?

  No, no, one time Vidal had that one explosive play. And it was almost like you forgot that they could have explosive plays. There are moments when he's like turning the corner and they ran a design draw with him at one point. He turned the corner, he's running like a gazelle.

• 42:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:53Bill Simmons?

  And, and then, you know, five plays later, he's just staring down somebody throwing right to the cornerback.

• 42:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's not afraid of the position. There are a few guys that seem, you know, a little out of it.

• 43:04Bill Simmons?

  Taking too many hits and his confidence is shaken. And that's it. You know who his confidence is not shaken, Sal?

• 43:11Speaker 01

  Go ahead. Oh, here we go.

• 43:14Bill Simmons?

  Drake May.

• 43:18Bill Simmons?

  Drake, maybe you owe him apology.

• 43:20Speaker 01

  I'll stop. I'm not doing this week to week.

• 43:22Bill Simmons?

  Drake, maybe you should recant your words.

• 43:26Bill Simmons?

  Drake, maybe you were wrong.

• 43:29Bill Simmons?

  26 for 34, 374 yards, four TDs, four 25-plus passes. And, uh, my take, which I said last week and I'm gonna triple down on this week. I think he was having a confidence issue. And I think Vrabel and McDaniel's completely changed the personality of this team last week and this week. And they're going for four downs until the cows come home. And basically until his balls dropped back to where they were before. They were just like, we're gonna be aggressive. You don't have a choice. We're doing this. They ran a lot of motion with him last week. They did some this week and they're just basically trying to make him stop thinking and just start playing again. He threw the best collection of deep, intermediate and short. Like, he was just awesome. He was so good.

• 44:14Speaker 01

  Love this.

• 44:14Bill Simmons?

  Scrambling, everything. I was very proud of him.

• 44:17Speaker 01

  I'm excited for you. Five touchdowns, 400 yards, five touchdowns total. He's back. No matter what happens the rest of the year, he is back, back, back.

• 44:25Bill Simmons?

  Four to three fantasy points.

• 44:27Speaker 01

  I loved this last week. What was the line, like two and a half, three and a half? I guess five and a half? I was like, this is stupid. It should be five and a half. Enough with the Raiders. You got revenge.

• 44:35Bill Simmons?

  Well, we had no D-backs.

• 44:37Speaker 01

  Underrated home field advantage.

• 44:38Bill Simmons?

  Missing both of our starting cornerbacks.

• 44:40Speaker 01

  They're listing names of guys you would, no one's ever heard of, some of these cornerbacks.

• 44:45Bill Simmons?

  I was worried about this game.

• 44:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't know. How do you get the Raiders and Jets back to back after coming in first last year? What is going on here?

• 44:53Bill Simmons?

  Three and one Raiders.

• 44:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's still, it was, you know, I don't know. He still does take some dumb sacks. I don't think it's as magical as, um, as you remember it.

• 45:04Bill Simmons?

  Hey, listen, he was gunslinging it again and he has his confidence back. That's all that matters. And the team in general just seems to now feel like the last year's team again. I don't know if it'll be last, but this team had a malaise in the offseason, the first three games of the season, where it just felt like.

• 45:20Speaker 01

  What happened in the offseason?

• 45:21Bill Simmons?

  They were the year from hell candidate.

• 45:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:24Bill Simmons?

  Um, that has now been passed to somebody else. And now they're three and two. And if the Bills lose tomorrow night, they're gonna be in first place in the AFC East. Now, granted, it's mid-October and there's a lot of football to be played, but they're, they're looking good. They lost Will Campbell today. They lost Trevon Henderson. I don't know how badly hurt Will Campbell is, but the first round pick came in and was kind of lights out.

• 45:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:45Bill Simmons?

  At left tackle.

• 45:46Speaker 01

  Right.

• 45:47Bill Simmons?

  So we'll see.

• 45:48Speaker 01

  Campbell's a knee thing, a knee strain or something?

• 45:50Bill Simmons?

  They were knee or ankle. They were pretty quiet about it after.

• 45:54Speaker 01

  All right.

• 45:54Bill Simmons?

  And then, uh, Henderson. And then A.J. Brown should be back at some point pretty soon.

• 46:00Speaker 01

  That's good. You have no excuses. You gotta go, gotta get to the Super Bowl again. And don't say how it doesn't happen.

• 46:07Bill Simmons?

  I will say this.

• 46:09Speaker 01

  What's your total here?

• 46:10Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. I am not, I don't think you could look at a single AFC team and say, I'm scared of those guys.

• 46:16Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 46:17Bill Simmons?

  But that's just the conference this year.

• 46:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:19Bill Simmons?

  You know, the best teams are in the NFC West. But, uh, whatever the case, they did a great job the last two weeks rebuilding him. Cause it was bad. It was bad in Boston. I was in Boston. It was bad, but this was all anyone talked about. What the fuck happened to this guy? Um, and sometimes that can move in a direction that you can't get back.

• 46:37Speaker 01

  10 and a half. Did you ever think three weeks ago, like how much would you have bet on under 10 and a half, three weeks ago? Cause now it's even odds.

• 46:44Bill Simmons?

  I mean, their playoff odds to make it.

• 46:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:46Bill Simmons?

  I think were plus 150, something like that, two, two weeks ago.

• 46:51Speaker 01

  Right.

• 46:51Bill Simmons?

  140, they were definitely positive. Chargers, I think we can lock them in the fourth place. They're minus 400 on Fanduel.

• 46:59Speaker 01

  So I'm gonna throw four.

• 47:00Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. I could give you KC, Denver, Vegas, Chargers as the 1, 2, 3, 4. And that's plus 145. Or I could give you KC, Vegas, Denver, Chargers. And that's plus 338. Which one do you like?

• 47:17Speaker 01

  Uh, I'll, I'll go KC, Denver. I predicted this would be the slide for Vegas. This is what's gonna happen. Just think, you know, the two tight end thing is nice, but you don't, I mean, Gentey had what, 27 yards rushing? I think that's gonna be a problem the rest of the way. They had like 38 yards rushing the whole game.

• 47:34Bill Simmons?

  And he has, I have him in fantasy. He has the red flag next to him every game.

• 47:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:39Bill Simmons?

  And you just don't know if he's playing or not. You just have to look the whole time and make sure you don't start Mike Washington. I can't, I can't say it's great. Um, so you're not gonna apologize to Drake May, that's fine.

• 47:50Speaker 01

  We're gonna do this every week? You beat the Raiders. I'll, I'll apologize if they beat the mighty Jets next week.

• 47:56Bill Simmons?

  I, I felt like, cause Stephen A. had to apologize two different times this week.

• 48:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 48:00Bill Simmons?

  I feel like I have to apologize, like, you know, I wanna, wanna be like a, like a brother to him. Like, you know, we're in the same business.

• 48:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right.

• 48:09Bill Simmons?

  So I talked in Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Uh, we were talking about serial killers. And I did a whole thing about how I thought Ed, Ed Gein was overrated. Cause he, he only has two murders. And it's like, if you're a serial killer, you know, I want you to put up numbers.

• 48:28Bill Simmons?

  Ed Gein, I discounted your murder total. And I have to live with that. You have only two documented murders. Mary Hogan, 1954. And Bernie Swerden in 1957.

• 48:42Speaker 01

  What the hell?

• 48:43Bill Simmons?

  But it's clear, talking to many, many people over the last 72 hours, that Ed Gein killed many more people than that.

• 48:52Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 48:52Bill Simmons?

  There were many unsolved murders in the 1950s that Ed Gein almost definitely did. So I'd like to apologize to Ed.

• 49:03Speaker 01

  You know what? I don't think it's enough. I don't think it's enough. I don't accept the apology. I don't think anyone on social media is gonna accept that apology.

• 49:11Bill Simmons?

  Okay.

• 49:11Speaker 01

  You have to go face to face with Ed Gein.

• 49:14Bill Simmons?

  Ed Gein, I'm just, I gotta rethink this. All right, more games. Packers, Bears. Speaking of quarterbacks that we were worried about, Jordan Love, the mad bomber.

• 49:24Speaker 01

  Amazing.

• 49:25Bill Simmons?

  25 completions for 367. Four 40-plus yard passes. And the Bears' D-backs got crushed in Lambeau. A game that a lot of sharps liked. I stared, I, we needed our fifth ring or 107 pick today. And I did not like anything left on the board and stared at all these different games and couldn't, just couldn't. And finally I was like, fuck it, Bears, Ben Johnson, I'll ride with him. I don't like how the Packers look and almost immediately regretted it, but, um.

• 49:55Speaker 01

  It's so weird, cause if you blur your eyes, this was an easy game, right? But, uh, I, I can get why people don't trust the Packers. But the backup, or maybe the backup to the backup coming into Lambeau, you know, Packers lost foolish ways against the Bears last year. And all you're really hanging it on is Ben Johnson and that handshake at the end of the game. So I thought, I thought we could keep, we could see this coming. I didn't see five turnovers coming, but.

• 50:21Bill Simmons?

  I'd also like to apologize to Ed Gein because I discounted cradle robbing, like, like going into the graves, grave, grave robbing, whatever it's called.

• 50:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:30Bill Simmons?

  And, uh, and I said it was, you know, it was really weird. And I considered that to be more of like just a weird thing. But it is possible he was robbing bodies that he had murdered.

• 50:42Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 50:42Bill Simmons?

  So again, I'd like to apologize to Ed again. Tyson Bajin in Lambeau.

• 50:49Speaker 01

  Ed Too Tall Ginn is getting a lot of, uh, a lot of airtime today.

• 50:53Bill Simmons?

  I discounted the guy. Uh, Tyson Bejat and Lambo, I think he lost Tyler Huntley grabbed his

• 50:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:00Bill Simmons?

  favorite backup. Who are the favorite backups now? Mariota, who just gets hurt all the time. Tyler Huntley, who every once in a while plays and looks like a spitting image out of a factory of like a Lamar replacement.

• 51:11Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 51:12Bill Simmons?

  And who else do you like?

• 51:13Speaker 01

  Well, I like two. What do you mean like, like for different, like the, oh, two, yeah, two is fun. Two is really fun.

• 51:19Bill Simmons?

  Two, two you like?

• 51:20Speaker 01

  Shador Sanders is always fun. I don't, um, you know, we'll get there with some of these guys.

• 51:25Bill Simmons?

  So you took nothing from that Packers Bears game?

• 51:27Speaker 01

  No, I just, uh, that, that offense was, you know, Marshawn Lloyd, I know his numbers weren't great, but the, just seeing him get in the end zone. Like you talk about like a confidence builder, like that's funny. He did that twice. These 50-50 balls to Watson and Golden. Like, I don't know what's real. Like that secondary seemed so bad this week. I don't think you would see that again, but yeah, love was 360 plus and, uh, two touchdowns on one or something. This was a huge game. Huge game for Green Bay. They have, they have a, they still have a tough the next five or six weeks. They have the, at the Lions, at the Pats, at the Rams, the Bills. That's all in the next month and a half.

• 52:04Bill Simmons?

  It turns out predicting stuff is hard.

• 52:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 52:06Bill Simmons?

  Cause the same logic you would use for the Packers, like they can't be that bad again. This is a great spot for them. They need this game. Blah, blah, blah. Is the same logic you would use for New Orleans who got their ass kicked by Minnesota.

• 52:19Speaker 01

  You know what we need? We need like a how or somebody like as soon as we get over our skis about something, as soon as we say like, oh, Dak, look at Dak at 14-1 for MVP. Like we need someone to nudge us. Like if your wife has a, has like four Negronis at dinner and you're double dating and then she starts talking about like her, how wild she was in college. Like, all right, hey, come on, don't, don't, this is going to come back to haunt you.

• 52:42Bill Simmons?

  Something that's happened to you?

• 52:44Speaker 01

  What? No, no, no, not the way this. Four.

• 52:47Bill Simmons?

  Brewster? Brewster was talking shit about her college days?

• 52:50Speaker 01

  No, we need someone to nudge us to not stop talking about, cause we went too far ahead of ourselves with the Bears and underestimated.

• 52:57Bill Simmons?

  Well, they can stop us right now because here are things I wrote down about Brock Purdy.

• 53:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:02Bill Simmons?

  Clearly the MVP. Top five QB I trust right now. Maybe top three. Reaching Mahomes levels. These are things I have in my notes. Yeah. So maybe Gahow can taze me.

• 53:13Speaker 01

  Taze him, Gahow. I mean, this is, uh, this is Ed Ginn part two, I think for you.

• 53:18Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. I'd like to apologize to Brock Purdy. No, he was, goddamn Purdy's good.

• 53:24Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 53:24Bill Simmons?

  I had Seattle minus three. They're up 26-21 after completely fucking up the first half, including doing a zone block handoff with 13 seconds left at the end of the first half from their own one that took forever to develop. And the guy fumbled it. All of a sudden it was a touchdown in the end. So it was the dumbest fucking thing, other than all the other stuff we've already talked about today. Just sneak, go forward two yards, sneak again, kill some time and punt.

• 53:48Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 53:50Bill Simmons?

  And yet they're up and Purdy and Mike Evans just started cooking and you just couldn't, you just felt in the moment watching it, you're just like, fuck, they're not going to be able to stop these guys. There's not a lot of QBs that make you feel that way.

• 54:04Speaker 01

  I was looking at Mike Evans injuries going into this week and I was like, I'm betting his under total yards. Like what, we might as well take advantage of these 49ers injuries when we can. I know you can't bet like under snaps for a tackle or something, but they lose like four guys. He's a miracle. He's like 33. He's been doing this forever and he does the same thing. It's like he's, like he's posting up an 11-year-old, you know, the way he makes these catches. Like, yeah, just get me the ball. I'll tip it to myself with one hand. It's, it's stupid, but now Purdy, uh, we said this, if they won in Seattle, he'd be MVP. The lead guy, he's plus 250. Allen plus 350.

• 54:39Bill Simmons?

  Plus 250. I'm not allowed to, oh no, I am allowed to bet on it. Uh, I was kidding. It's NBA. I can't.

• 54:45Speaker 01

  Oh, I see. Yeah.

• 54:47Bill Simmons?

  He's been the guy that jumped out the first five weeks from a consistency standpoint. Other people have had good games, but I think every game you watch, I haven't seen him have a bad game yet. Goff's been really good too. I think, I think Goff's starting to pick this year. Isn't Goff like 12 touchdowns, zero picks? Yeah.

• 55:03Speaker 01

  That might be right. I mean, they were, they were fantastic today. That was their best Lions game, I think, since the Barry Sanders days, what we watched today.

• 55:12Bill Simmons?

  So if you're a Niners fan,

• 55:17Bill Simmons?

  I think you're starting to feel a little team of destiny-ish. This is outrageous. Like this Purdy thing, where you get him with the last pick in the draft and then it becomes this big conundrum of how much do you pay this guy? What's his ceiling? The guy has gotten better every single year.

• 55:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:32Bill Simmons?

  Like he is one of the best quarterbacks in the league. It's not arguable anymore. And you hit the jackpot with that. So you don't have to worry about that. You signed Mike Evans who, you, you know, you put together this Mike Evans, Debo, McCaffrey, injury prone team that on paper seems like all of them are getting hurt. Evans has been unbelievable. He even taunted the guy. You saw that at the end when he went to look at the guy's jersey, who was taunting him. That was great.

• 55:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:56Bill Simmons?

  And at the, every game they lose somebody, that just doesn't matter. It just bounces off them. Next guy comes up. They have beaten three of the four conference champions from last year already in five weeks that we had, the final four teams.

• 56:09Speaker 01

  Nuts.

• 56:10Bill Simmons?

  And, and they win all kinds of games. Like this game today, they said 38 points off turnovers. Most since 2017 in an NFL game. And of course the Niners are going to win. They'll win. They remind me of some of the early Belichick Pats teams we had in the 03, 04, the second and third teams, where it's just like, if the game's close, you feel like the, you start to feel like they're going to win it.

• 56:32Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 56:32Bill Simmons?

  And, uh, I don't know. I'm just amazed and I, I should have known. I said to House on Thursday, I was like, I just don't want to mess with them anymore. I don't want to have the opposite side, but I, I didn't like enough games this week. Took Seattle minus three. And they did not take care of business.

• 56:47Speaker 01

  Well, I think like we got, we have to get rid of the, get, get the injury name out of our mouths with the, not, it just doesn't matter. It really doesn't matter. As long as the MVP leader is in there, he'll figure out. And he got sacked today. Like they got to him a couple of times.

• 57:02Bill Simmons?

  They did.

• 57:02Speaker 01

  Doesn't get, doesn't get phased at all, you know? Really is, uh, he puts it all together. I mean, he and Darnold had almost identical stats. If you reverse the touchdowns and interceptions, but I had so much more confidence in Purdy.

• 57:14Bill Simmons?

  Oh, yeah.

• 57:15Speaker 01

  And, you know, and Darnold has the better receiver there too, but it didn't matter.

• 57:20Bill Simmons?

  I wrote down Seahawks, Sam Darnold panic level right now has to be like 7.2.

• 57:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 57:25Bill Simmons?

  Where you just feel like you hit lightning in the bottle. We saw this happen when we were in college. Mark Rippon was really great for one year. Remember? In one year where he was just, just completing everything.

• 57:35Speaker 01

  Killed everyone. Yeah.

• 57:36Bill Simmons?

  And just was like the mad bomber for, and then it was gone. But if I'm a Seahawks fan, I had that stupid end zone fumble. We, we gave 21 first half points. They had 31 total yards of drives and got 21 points out of it. So that was stupid.

• 57:53Bill Simmons?

  JSN, who I thought got, I don't know if he got concussed, but I thought he definitely hit his head on that final drive.

• 57:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 57:59Bill Simmons?

  Um, and took a hit. Didn't seem, didn't seem great, but they stayed in. And then ends up dropping that pass that he's caught all the time. And I was like, of course, of course. This guy's not a hundred percent right now. He catches that in his sleep.

• 58:14Speaker 01

  He, he's gotten, he's gotten too good because he's expected to catch everything now. He would have had to climb the ladder like six feet. And everyone's like, how did he drop that? Like that, that would have been a great catch.

• 58:23Bill Simmons?

  Well, very similar to the Wes Welker catch in the second Pats Giants Super Bowl. When Brady threw it and he had to jump up and you do that thing with your hand and you're up in the air. It's a really hard catch.

• 58:34Speaker 01

  Who cares about Wes Welker?

• 58:35Bill Simmons?

  I had to bring up the Pats. But then Cooper Cup seems like he gets the first down.

• 58:42Bill Simmons?

  And now we have this rule. I thought I knew all the rules, but this new one where you're jumping out of bounds. But the, there's this invisible window in the sideline and if the ball crosses the sideline, it's out where it was. But I've also seen them call it the other way. I don't know what to believe anymore.

• 58:57Speaker 01

  Is there really no way soccer's just got better technology on this than we do?

• 59:01Bill Simmons?

  I thought we had chips in the ball.

• 59:03Speaker 01

  Yeah. It, it should be something with the, where the, I don't know, like a pillow sideline, where it would be because I guess it's hard to. I did too. I, I don't know what you would call it on the field. I, I get that it's maybe hard to overturn, but I thought he got it too. I would have said he got it.

• 59:17Bill Simmons?

  Well, the guy was 10, 10 feet away, facing the play.

• 59:20Speaker 01

  Right, right.

• 59:21Bill Simmons?

  And had no idea if he got it or not. He was like, you didn't get it. And that was it. It was, it was done. So if I'm a Seahawks fan,

• 59:30Bill Simmons?

  I'm mad where, where we are and I'm worried about Darnold, but ultimately like, let's just get a running back. What are we doing?

• 59:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:36Bill Simmons?

  You know, Wilson, Halani, like hoping Zach Charbonne comes back from a torn ACL. Like let's just trade for Tyler Algier. The fucking Cardinals are having a fire sale right now. Let's just go get him.

• 59:47Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 59:47Bill Simmons?

  We just need one battering ram running back for situations exactly like the one that cost them the game today when they're on the one yard line and they have to hand the ball to Halani who's, you know, five foot seven, 140 pounds.

• 1:00:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:01Bill Simmons?

  So just go, go get Tyler Algier. Give him a fifth rounder.

• 1:00:04Speaker 01

  What about Ed Ginn? Is Ed Ginn available?

• 1:00:07Bill Simmons?

  Do you want me to apologize to Ed one more time? I don't know if he's watching.

• 1:00:10Speaker 01

  Apologize for him when he makes the practice squad of the Seahawks. Yeah.

• 1:00:14Bill Simmons?

  I just, I, I feel like I don't want Stephen A to be the only one that apologizes.

• 1:00:17Speaker 01

  God forbid.

• 1:00:20Bill Simmons?

  The, oh, we have Steelers Colts.

• 1:00:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:24Bill Simmons?

  Pittsburgh's now three and two, well on their way to being a mediocre seven seed in the AFC. Can't wait. Can't wait to see Rogers in the playoffs again. Colts two and three on their way to being seven and 10. And, uh, Jalen Warren was great and this game really wasn't worth discussing. Uh, the Colts just aren't very good.

• 1:00:39Speaker 01

  I don't think they are either. I, uh, Jalen Warren was great. That's the only thing I'll say. It's like, if he could bust out in these games, it's sort of a different offense. He had 188 total yards. The last three weeks he's had over 300 on the ground. So, um, but I don't, I'm with you. I don't think the Colts are very good. Uh, I didn't see Carly Rae Ursay there. Was she on the sideline eating Primanti's or didn't she?

• 1:01:01Bill Simmons?

  That became my thing. People, people love to pull other narratives into that story other than that. It's just weird that an owner's online on the sideline, taking notes, standing next to their coach. Like I'm going to think that's weird, whoever it is.

• 1:01:13Speaker 01

  You're not going to apologize for that. So is Ed Ginn a boss for you?

• 1:01:16Bill Simmons?

  Apologize to Ed Ginn. That's all I'm about.

• 1:01:18Speaker 01

  You'll have like, those would be like cross offs. Yeah. I wonder if like she approached Steichen and said, hey, Coach Steichen, hey Shane, we have more first downs, more passing yards. We're winning time of possession. We haven't turned the ball over and we're losing by double digits with no time left on the clock. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I'm just trying to learn. I just want to, I just want to learn.

• 1:01:35Bill Simmons?

  We're down 16 and the game ended.

• 1:01:37Speaker 01

  Yeah. It's all over.

• 1:01:41Bill Simmons?

  Lions Cardinals. Lions are down three and two with a bye next week and their DBs are coming back. Yeah. Oh, I wrote this down. Goff's 1485 yards, 12 TDs, zero interceptions. And, uh, and they're, it's funny watching them, especially in blowouts. They're clearly trying to get different records for Gibbs, which is great if you have them in fantasy.

• 1:02:01Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:02:02Bill Simmons?

  Anytime they're within the four, three, four yards, he's getting the first carry every time. Um, in garbage time, they keep them in.

• 1:02:09Speaker 01

  Their starters were in three drives too many.

• 1:02:12Bill Simmons?

  Like he's trying to get 50 points, trying to send a message. So that was fun.

• 1:02:16Speaker 01

  I like it. I mean, it's an enjoyable watch. Like they're, they're, it was amazing. They were expected to beat a bad team by almost a touchdown and they actually went above and beyond expectations and they did it.

• 1:02:27Bill Simmons?

  Did a great job.

• 1:02:27Speaker 01

  Fantasy watch. I do want to.

• 1:02:29Bill Simmons?

  And then you have, yeah, I do. The Cardinals who gave up 148 points in four games. So there you go.

• 1:02:34Speaker 01

  Well, can we just say Jeremiah Love, dumb pick. Uh, you definitely wasted this year. Probably going to waste two years. So congratulations getting the extra year, whatever the signing, but stop doing that teams. You're not, you're not ready to get a running back in the first round. Don't do it.

• 1:02:50Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. You, you, you probably would have been good with, with James Connor and signing out Jair. You've been okay.

• 1:02:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:58Bill Simmons?

  The real problem is that they blew the Harrison pick apparently because they, uh, they traded him. This game did lead to the single greatest moment in Ringer gambling show slash Ringer wise guys history.

• 1:03:09Speaker 01

  Love it.

• 1:03:09Bill Simmons?

  Three years ago, when we were doing the Sunday show, I texted you that we had to come up with a crazy parlay.

• 1:03:16Speaker 01

  Oh, this was your terrible idea. Damn.

• 1:03:18Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. I'm going to take credit for it.

• 1:03:19Speaker 01

  Yeah. If you want to apologize for anything, it's this. Yeah.

• 1:03:22Bill Simmons?

  It's like, everybody should pick a prop. We'll put them together. And, and then you guys decided to call it the family meal. Everybody brings something. I think we did it for Thanksgiving first.

• 1:03:31Speaker 01

  Yeah. Touchdown scorer. Yeah.

• 1:03:33Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Touchdown prop. Everybody brings it. You try to hit it and the goal would be, it has to be at least 20 to one. And you guys have done this for two and a half years and not hit any of them. And then today, the first three go down really quickly. All we have left is Trey McBride on the Cardinals touchdown. And it's 43 to one. Touchdown. White guy who looks like a tight end on the Cardinals.

• 1:03:58Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:03:58Bill Simmons?

  No, it's Quinteriano.

• 1:04:00Speaker 01

  Teagan Quinteriano.

• 1:04:02Bill Simmons?

  Quinteriano touchdown. Oh, that's not Trey McBride.

• 1:04:06Speaker 01

  Big buff white guy. Yep.

• 1:04:07Bill Simmons?

  Later, another white tight end touchdown. Oh, he did it. No, it's Quinteriano again, whatever his name is. Two touchdowns for him.

• 1:04:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:15Bill Simmons?

  And then, uh, the Arizona is down 100 points. McBride's still in the game for some reason. And tell them what happened next.

• 1:04:23Speaker 01

  Just a, like a, a, I don't even know what you would call the, the route because McBride's back was completely to us somehow. But the ball was thrown from the middle of the field and he makes a catch. It's fourth down. It's our only hope.

• 1:04:38Bill Simmons?

  Thirty.

• 1:04:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:40Bill Simmons?

  They throw it to McBride.

• 1:04:41Speaker 01

  Yeah. By the way, McBride screwed us last week. Otherwise we would have had a 30 to one. We went three for four. And he gets it. He makes a catch. I don't know that I've seen it. He, his body turned completely. He climbed the ladder. He tipped it himself, grabbed it, somehow got his feet down. I was like, they're going to call one of his feet out, even if they were in, God bless, 40 to one odds. We hit it. We, we made up unbelievable. Two weeks worth of, uh, two years worth of losing with that one parlay. It just goes to show you gambling is the best.

• 1:05:10Bill Simmons?

  Gambling's the best. This is like in the, when they make the movies where people gamble and they win and everybody celebrates.

• 1:05:15Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:05:15Bill Simmons?

  They're in the control room at Apollo 13.

• 1:05:17Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:05:18Bill Simmons?

  The thing is, I'm, Fandel, when you do those profit boosts, if you did like 25 bucks, 10 bucks, whatever. And you did that, that's like a 70 to one bet and you hit three of them. It wasn't even 11 o'clock AM yet. And I think you had two or three of them. Anyway, it was very exciting.

• 1:05:34Speaker 01

  And Gosecki.

• 1:05:35Bill Simmons?

  The family meal, we finally ate. We finally ate in a family meal. We finally did it.

• 1:05:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:39Bill Simmons?

  Uh, Browns Jets really quickly was terrible. God decided Cleveland wouldn't be, uh, wouldn't be four and one. Browns missed an extra point. Browns are still up two with four minutes left in the bad weather. Bots a punt snap.

• 1:05:52Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 1:05:53Bill Simmons?

  Jets end up winning. This game had 15 punts and the botched snap was the 16th.

• 1:05:59Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:06:00Bill Simmons?

  So we're not going to talk about it because if you have 15 punts in a game.

• 1:06:03Speaker 01

  Well, I'll just say, it's so funny. We listed the coaches to be fired. Aaron Glenn is vindicated for a little while now. Like, uh, is it because the defense is decent now?

• 1:06:15Bill Simmons?

  I was thinking about how we make fun of coaches every week and I did the single worst coaching decision I think I've ever done in fantasy football this week.

• 1:06:22Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:06:22Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. I was on the plane flying back from Boston last night and I, it's a, it's always longer to go east for west. And I'm just tinkering with my lineup and looking up stuff. And I become convinced that Roman Wilson is going to have an unbelievable day against Indianapolis. I'm Googling, I'm watching Celtic Sixers preseason. I'm watching college football on my iPad and I'm Googling Roman Wilson and Googling quotes about him and getting more. And then I'm Googling Parker Washington, who I also have. And it's like that same targets. They're having trouble. They're spreading the ball around. Philly's good against receivers. I do the all time overthink. I decide to start Roman Wilson, who gets hurt in the first quarter of the game.

• 1:07:03Bill Simmons?

  And to make matters worse, the game before Jags Eagles, Parker Washington had 28 points.

• 1:07:09Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:07:10Bill Simmons?

  And I end up losing by 20 and I would have won if I just kept Parker Washington in. And I was so, but this is, must be how Sirianni feels.

• 1:07:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, but it's all clock management. That hasn't, um, you know, you weren't, you weren't asked to land the plane and make this decision to, you know, I don't know.

• 1:07:27Bill Simmons?

  This was worse. I started Roman Wilson over Parker Washington. Why did I do that?

• 1:07:31Speaker 01

  Let me ask you, when you look at the projected, because that's what you ultimately look at, right? Projected score. And if it's 5.6 to 5.8, how many times out of 10 are you going with 5.8 regardless of anything?

• 1:07:43Bill Simmons?

  Right. Well, this one was like 9.4 and 6.8 or something. Washington was higher and I just.

• 1:07:50Speaker 01

  Oh, that's, that's stupid then. Yeah, you deserve it.

• 1:07:52Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, no, it was really stupid and I, and I lost the hench. Um, speaking of stupid, I wrote down this joke for Joe Burrow, who had 180 yards, four touchdowns today against a terrible Miami team. About how he loves putting up good stats against bad teams. Joel Embiid.

• 1:08:08Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:08:09Bill Simmons?

  Oh, yeah. You know, it always lights up like Washington. Yeah.

• 1:08:15Speaker 01

  I like that. I don't mind that.

• 1:08:17Bill Simmons?

  He looks great against these bad defenses.

• 1:08:19Speaker 01

  He threw to nine pass catchers. I guess that's the best you could say about it. But yeah, he had under 200 yards and, and that chase catch was 40 of the yards, right?

• 1:08:28Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:28Speaker 01

  Ridiculous. Like it's off his, uh, shoulder pad. But on the other side, I, I, I'm now feeling completely bad for Malik Willis and I have to hand it to him. I think he's trying his best. He doesn't have fancy tight ends.

• 1:08:40Bill Simmons?

  By the way, they almost covered. That guy hit, fucking hit the upright.

• 1:08:43Speaker 01

  It's a, it was a push. Yeah.

• 1:08:44Bill Simmons?

  It was a push, but it was six and a half all week. So, you know. Uh, okay. And then Minnesota, New Orleans. Uh, I don't know what to say, but Minnesota's five and O. Congrats. I don't, Kyler looked a little better this week. The Saints looked so bad on Monday. So bad. And then people loved them this week. And I, I couldn't get there, but I also didn't want to take Kyler Murray.

• 1:09:07Speaker 01

  I love him.

• 1:09:08Bill Simmons?

  I stayed away completely.

• 1:09:09Speaker 01

  I love the Saints. I, you know, I finally had to break down and show my wife the new like household budget. I keep a ledger. I'm very detail oriented, you know? So I like to see what's set aside for each category. So it's like 1,200 a month for people food. 600 a month for dog food, couple grand for insurance, little league fees, all that tutoring. I try to sneak it by her. $33,000 a month betting against the Vikings. And, uh, I was like, I'm sorry, this is just what it has to be. It's going to, someday it's going to pay off. Good teams will beat them. What the hell?

• 1:09:38Bill Simmons?

  Vikings part of the scheme. Just stay away. Stay away.

• 1:09:42Speaker 01

  I just bet against them every week. Sick.

• 1:09:44Bill Simmons?

  You're going to be 15 and O.

• 1:09:46Speaker 01

  Ah.

• 1:09:47Bill Simmons?

  You're going to be addicted to OxyContin. It's going to be terrible. Uh, guess the Lions. Oh, do you want to talk about your stupid team? You did, already talked about it on the wise guys.

• 1:09:56Speaker 01

  I thought we could, uh, no, I already talked about it. I don't know. I mean, I don't know how to rank these anymore. Like the worst, most embarrassing. Yeah. Like this, this three a month. So we're terrible and we're favored to win the division.

• 1:10:09Bill Simmons?

  I went to lunch with Zoe and her boyfriend at halftime because the game was terrible and it's like Dallas is screwing around. They're going to win. But we kind of had on the phone. We get to the restaurant and Bucky Irving had already busted his one long. All of a sudden it was, it went from what 10, seven to 21, 10 or whatever.

• 1:10:26Speaker 01

  Yeah. And Dak is bouncing balls. He's getting.

• 1:10:28Bill Simmons?

  So glad I'm not watching this because I would have been mad because I had Dallas and something. Anyway. Uh, guess the Lions. You've been, ever since you got kidney stones, you've fallen apart.

• 1:10:38Speaker 01

  No excuses. Three, one and one? Is that what you are?

• 1:10:40Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, that's what it is.

• 1:10:42Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:10:43Bill Simmons?

  We have four bye weeks that, uh, will have some fantasy implications. Miami, Cincinnati.

• 1:10:49Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 1:10:50Bill Simmons?

  Minnesota.

• 1:10:51Speaker 01

  Good.

• 1:10:51Bill Simmons?

  Detroit.

• 1:10:52Speaker 01

  Thank God.

• 1:10:52Bill Simmons?

  So we lose Cincy and Detroit this week from fantasy.

• 1:10:55Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:10:56Bill Simmons?

  I'm really excited not to watch Miami, but we have, uh, we have a half decent Thursday night game. Seattle is at Denver.

• 1:11:03Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:11:07Speaker 01

  I got exact.

• 1:11:08Bill Simmons?

  You did.

• 1:11:09Speaker 01

  Oh no, I didn't. It changed. All right, go ahead.

• 1:11:12Bill Simmons?

  So I guessed the Lions on the plane after I researched all of Roman Wilson's, um, last 14 months of his life.

• 1:11:19Speaker 01

  On the plane yesterday, you guessed the Lions?

• 1:11:21Bill Simmons?

  I did a preliminary guess the Lions.

• 1:11:23Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:11:24Bill Simmons?

  And then I tweeted it at five o'clock before sending them to Eduardo.

• 1:11:28Speaker 01

  All right.

• 1:11:28Bill Simmons?

  And this was one of the ones I tweeted. Initially I had Seahawks minus three. After watching them today, I downgraded it to Seahawks minus two and a half.

• 1:11:36Speaker 01

  All right. Good. I like hearing that. That's good for me because I had two and a half. And it was two and a half and it went to three. So, so we tie. You should have stayed with it.

• 1:11:45Bill Simmons?

  I overthought it like Roman Wilson.

• 1:11:46Speaker 01

  Roman Wilson part two.

• 1:11:47Bill Simmons?

  Roman Wilson, zero catches and a red flag next to his name a half hour into the game.

• 1:11:52Speaker 01

  Well, maybe Ed Gein will murder him and it won't be your problem anymore.

• 1:11:57Bill Simmons?

  Parker Washington, 27 points. Sunday's marquee game.

• 1:12:02Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 1:12:02Bill Simmons?

  Um, it, it's not a great week. I wrote down, uh, Bills Raiders for this.

• 1:12:08Speaker 01

  It's not. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You're probably right. Well, if we don't include the night games, right? Oh no, you're right. Even if you do. All right.

• 1:12:17Bill Simmons?

  Bills, assuming they'll probably lose to the Rams, three and two, need to win. Raiders trying to avoid going back to even. Two pretty lousy defenses that you can throw on. I think it'll be a fun game. I had Bills minus six.

• 1:12:32Speaker 01

  You can't say six. Don't you have to say a half something?

• 1:12:34Bill Simmons?

  No, I said Bills minus six.

• 1:12:37Speaker 01

  I said six and a half. It's five and a half. You get it.

• 1:12:40Bill Simmons?

  Hmm. They Vegas owned us.

• 1:12:43Speaker 01

  You're teasing that bad boy. You're going through the zero. Bye week.

• 1:12:47Bill Simmons?

  I think that goes up.

• 1:12:52Bill Simmons?

  I worry about, do you have a top five NFL players you just worry about when you watch them week to week? Cause Brock Bowers is on my list.

• 1:12:59Speaker 01

  Worry about that he's not gonna, going against some fantasy?

• 1:13:02Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, they're just, they're throwing the ball all the time to him. He's taking big hits. He's trying to extend plays. It's, he's like, it just feels like, uh,

• 1:13:13Bill Simmons?

  I, I wouldn't say from a longevity standpoint, when you watch him, you're feeling great about.

• 1:13:16Speaker 01

  The guy who's had to have his bones shaved? You're feeling, you're feeling worried about him?

• 1:13:21Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. I wonder if the Bill, if the Raiders lose this game, are we in Mendoza range at that point? And do you think about trading Cousins?

• 1:13:31Speaker 01

  Oh, I don't think so.

• 1:13:32Bill Simmons?

  Okay.

• 1:13:33Speaker 01

  So wait, I mean, you, you just said they're gonna come in second in the division, right?

• 1:13:38Bill Simmons?

  Is Mendoza just not gonna play this year? Like, I, I never really believed that, that when they were saying that was what was gonna happen.

• 1:13:45Speaker 01

  Everything I read and listened to, they said that was, that's the plan. They're totally fine with not playing him.

• 1:13:52Bill Simmons?

  Another London game. God damn, I might bet this one too.

• 1:13:58Speaker 01

  What was the rule you circumvented? No teasing the London game? Oh, that's, that was the new one.

• 1:14:03Bill Simmons?

  No tease in the London game, but the tease did win this week.

• 1:14:06Speaker 01

  It did.

• 1:14:08Bill Simmons?

  Jacksonville hosting the Houston Texans and Marvin Harrison.

• 1:14:15Bill Simmons?

  So they got to hang out there. Houston got an easy game against Tennessee and now flying to London. And I think the Jaguars are gonna be minus two and a half point favorites.

• 1:14:22Speaker 01

  They didn't even talk about that game. Completely skipped Texans.

• 1:14:25Bill Simmons?

  Did I skip that one?

• 1:14:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, I thought you did it on purpose.

• 1:14:27Bill Simmons?

  Oh, Texans Titans. It was just terrible.

• 1:14:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. I mean, once you saw the teaser was coming in, you got it. Two and a half is right. I said one and a half.

• 1:14:36Bill Simmons?

  Well, thing with the Texans, Jags in London this week, bye week, Giants, home Chargers. So they, this is four and four just sitting there for them. Cam Ward, five games, three touchdowns, three picks. And the Titans have scored 58 points this season.

• 1:14:52Speaker 01

  That's, see, I don't know if you put Salah in there for first coach, but there's no way he survives this year, right? He's, he's completely a one and done. They get a new stadium next year. They get, uh, what else do they have? They?

• 1:15:05Bill Simmons?

  Well, they just fired a bunch of people that worked for the team. Like a bunch of higher ups got fired last week.

• 1:15:10Speaker 01

  Last week, yeah.

• 1:15:11Bill Simmons?

  This, this is another one where some, where somebody's kid inherited the team and doesn't seem like they know what they're doing.

• 1:15:18Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:15:19Bill Simmons?

  Right?

• 1:15:20Speaker 01

  He wasn't a Madden player like us.

• 1:15:23Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:23Speaker 01

  Kids like that.

• 1:15:25Bill Simmons?

  He would have started Parker Washington. Watchables, I only have two. Next week's really bad.

• 1:15:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:15:31Bill Simmons?

  Falcons, Bears. Uh, I sent this pick to Eduardo before I watched the Falcons game and Penix.

• 1:15:40Speaker 01

  You gotta go with it. There's a nice graphic underneath. You can't, you can't turn on it.

• 1:15:43Bill Simmons?

  Well, do we think Penix? Like, we think we broke ribs? What happened?

• 1:15:46Speaker 01

  I guess that's true, yeah.

• 1:15:48Bill Simmons?

  I picked Falcons minus two and a half. Is there a line?

• 1:15:52Speaker 01

  Oh, all right. Well, I'm gonna win anyway. I said Bears minus one and a half. It's Bears minus three and a half.

• 1:15:58Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, but is that cause Penix is out?

• 1:16:01Speaker 01

  Well, I kept my original line and you were.

• 1:16:04Bill Simmons?

  I'm just saying.

• 1:16:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:16:07Bill Simmons?

  Michael Penix.

• 1:16:08Speaker 01

  I mean, it seems like he would be out and, uh,

• 1:16:10Bill Simmons?

  Injury.

• 1:16:11Speaker 01

  Caleb Williams would be in.

• 1:16:13Bill Simmons?

  Uh, oh, a rib injury ended his night, but it's nothing season ending.

• 1:16:20Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:16:21Bill Simmons?

  So there you go. You know what was season ending? Uh, Tua.

• 1:16:24Speaker 01

  I was just gonna say, they begged him to come back.

• 1:16:27Bill Simmons?

  Jesus.

• 1:16:30Bill Simmons?

  Falcons, all right, so you win that one. That'll be an interesting game. That, that could actually be a really good offensive game, potentially.

• 1:16:36Speaker 01

  That'll be fun.

• 1:16:38Bill Simmons?

  The other one I had for watchable, which probably isn't a watchable, but, uh, I like when Cleveland's home. I think their games are fun when they're home. They're home for Baltimore. I don't know if Lamar's coming back or not. I assume he probably is. And I have the Ravens minus three and a half.

• 1:16:52Speaker 01

  All right, I get this. I hit it exactly. Four and a half. Yeah, now every AFC North game's kinda interesting.

• 1:16:59Bill Simmons?

  That'll be a fun game.

• 1:17:00Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:17:03Bill Simmons?

  Five fairly watchables.

• 1:17:06Bill Simmons?

  Patriots.

• 1:17:09Bill Simmons?

  Home for the Jets in New York.

• 1:17:12Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:17:15Bill Simmons?

  I have the Patriots minus six and a half.

• 1:17:17Speaker 01

  I hit it exact, seven and a half.

• 1:17:20Bill Simmons?

  Wow, you're killing me.

• 1:17:20Speaker 01

  Tease it. Let's go. Let's go.

• 1:17:25Bill Simmons?

  I don't know. I'm probably not teasing this.

• 1:17:28Speaker 01

  Oh, come on.

• 1:17:29Bill Simmons?

  Uh, probably.

• 1:17:30Speaker 01

  Are you kidding me? Are you, with all the flowery?

• 1:17:32Bill Simmons?

  What's your record on teasers?

• 1:17:34Speaker 01

  Um.

• 1:17:35Bill Simmons?

  For, for a ring or one of seven? I'm two and three.

• 1:17:37Speaker 01

  I only lost one. Yeah. I lost last week with the, who do we both have? Buffalo, right?

• 1:17:41Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. I think Vrabel, here's, here's the case for.

• 1:17:45Speaker 01

  You have to like this on a teaser. You just did 10 minutes on you making me apologize for Drake maybe and the offense is back and everything else.

• 1:17:53Bill Simmons?

  Well, I wanna see what the injuries are. One of the cases is that Vrabel talked to the Jets and the Pats before he picked the Pats. And it felt like there is, he was a little annoyed by the Jets. Cause I remember this came up last year, so.

• 1:18:06Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:18:07Bill Simmons?

  Eagles, Panthers. I guess this could have been a watchable. Although, I don't think the Eagles are watchable and I would think their fans would also argue they're unwatchable. So maybe fairly watchables is right. Uh, Eagles, Panthers in Philadelphia.

• 1:18:22Bill Simmons?

  Should be, should be a fun, friendly, supportive crowd.

• 1:18:27Speaker 01

  Always. They were, they were almost all Eagles fans today. And they seemed like they were rooting for their team. Unlike the, um, state, stateside Eagles fans.

• 1:18:38Bill Simmons?

  They did a thing that I don't like for announcing, cause this happened with the Pats with J.J. Watt too, where that you have the announcer who has just an incredible amount of ties with the team involved in the game. And in this case, it was Jason Kelsey with, uh, with the Eagles. And it just, I always feel like it's a bad sign if I have the other team, if I pick them or have fantasy guys.

• 1:19:00Speaker 01

  Oh, really? Interesting.

• 1:19:02Bill Simmons?

  And I was like, oh, man, now I have the announcer rooting against my team.

• 1:19:05Speaker 01

  That's the Joe Davis knock on the Dodgers when he does the Dodger games, yeah.

• 1:19:10Bill Simmons?

  What's the knock?

• 1:19:11Speaker 01

  Well, he's a, he's their regular announcer. And then he does the Fox games and, you know, everyone's like, how could he, God forbid he says anything good about him.

• 1:19:18Bill Simmons?

  In baseball, you just can't seem to win whoever the announcer is. You just get accused of hating everybody else's team. With that said, I really felt like Joe, uh, Joe Buck and Tim McCarver hated the Red Sox in the 1900s. I always think that.

• 1:19:32Speaker 01

  Wait, what'd you have for this?

• 1:19:33Bill Simmons?

  I have Eagles minus two and a half.

• 1:19:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're gonna get it. I said three and a half. It is one and a half. Imagine that.

• 1:19:40Bill Simmons?

  Eagles can't move the ball.

• 1:19:41Speaker 01

  That's so weird. I guess.

• 1:19:43Bill Simmons?

  It, it's like a really, really statistically bad offense.

• 1:19:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, but Sirianni apologized. Doesn't that mean anything to you?

• 1:19:51Speaker 01

  Maybe they'll, maybe they'll communicate better, like you said.

• 1:19:53Bill Simmons?

  I thought that made it worse. This was my fault. This was on me. It's like, it wasn't your fault. You weren't out there trying to tackle Amir Abdullah.

• 1:20:00Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:20:01Bill Simmons?

  For 50 yards. Like, your guys should be able to get a tackle.

• 1:20:04Speaker 01

  That's true.

• 1:20:05Bill Simmons?

  Bucks, Steelers in Tampa.

• 1:20:09Speaker 01

  Bucks, Steelers, all right.

• 1:20:10Bill Simmons?

  So Baker Mayfield says, I'm ready to go. What'd he do?

• 1:20:16Speaker 01

  Um, Baker Mayfield said, ready to go.

• 1:20:19Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I'm ready to go. I can start. I'm ready to play.

• 1:20:22Speaker 01

  You book him a nice massage and like, oh.

• 1:20:24Bill Simmons?

  Hey, what about one more week?

• 1:20:26Speaker 01

  It's 1:00 PM on Sunday. Sorry, you gotta be there. And maybe he'll come in late. Yeah.

• 1:20:32Bill Simmons?

  I think the Bucks are favored in this game. I have Bucks minus one and a half.

• 1:20:35Speaker 01

  Oh, wow. I got it exactly. Steelers minus two and a half.

• 1:20:39Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I was wrong.

• 1:20:41Speaker 01

  Wait, did I read that right?

• 1:20:41Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, Steelers. Even the best can be wrong. I don't think the Steelers should be favored in this game.

• 1:20:47Speaker 01

  They're such a weird team. I don't think, uh, I don't think it's possible to pick this correctly.

• 1:20:55Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, this, this is like the gambling problem, the gambling problem ad should be next to this game, just under the line.

• 1:21:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:21:03Bill Simmons?

  Please, please talk to somebody.

• 1:21:05Speaker 01

  It should have its own 1-800 number. Yeah.

• 1:21:08Bill Simmons?

  It should be the Steelers minus 1-800, minus 205. Uh, Rams against the Cardinals. I guess this could have been a poop fact the game. It's in LA.

• 1:21:18Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:21:20Bill Simmons?

  Oh, man. I should have gone higher on this. I have Rams minus 10 and a half.

• 1:21:24Speaker 01

  That's exactly what I had. It's 12 and a half.

• 1:21:27Bill Simmons?

  Hmm.

• 1:21:30Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, they're not, they're gonna make you earn it on the three team 10 pointer.

• 1:21:34Speaker 01

  Short week though. Brissette, two for a backdoor. I don't know.

• 1:21:41Bill Simmons?

  You know who's not great? Jacoby Brissette.

• 1:21:44Speaker 01

  Oh, really?

• 1:21:44Bill Simmons?

  We were talking about, how's I were talking about that today. He's, he's better on, like, he was really good in that Chargers game, but it turns out everyone's getting against Chargers. But there's a reason he's bounced around and started a bunch of games for a bunch of different teams. Like, he was, he was pretty bad today at the game.

• 1:21:57Speaker 01

  He took some weird sacks, right?

• 1:21:59Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:59Speaker 01

  It seemed like he could do more for them.

• 1:22:01Bill Simmons?

  Does some really strange things. Chiefs, Chargers is our last one. I probably went too low on this too, but I guess it is a kitchen sink game for the Chargers. Every week's kitchen sink game.

• 1:22:11Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 1:22:13Bill Simmons?

  Chiefs in Kansas City. I have Chiefs minus eight.

• 1:22:17Speaker 01

  Oh, you got it. I said six and a half. It's eight and a half. Let me add these up.

• 1:22:22Bill Simmons?

  They don't want us to tease this.

• 1:22:24Speaker 01

  Six to six, including ties.

• 1:22:26Bill Simmons?

  Wow. Four games left.

• 1:22:28Speaker 01

  I'm probably taking the Chargers. It's, I can't hit an upset, you know, on the Friday show, we call it man's best bet. I cannot, I can't shake the Chargers. I'm gonna take them again, I think.

• 1:22:40Bill Simmons?

  Chargers are 0-4-1 against the spread. Still have not covered a game.

• 1:22:43Speaker 01

  Seems worse than that.

• 1:22:45Bill Simmons?

  Poop fact, the Colts, Titans in Indianapolis.

• 1:22:50Speaker 01

  Ugh.

• 1:22:52Bill Simmons?

  Carly's gonna be writing notes down like, is Cam Ward? Are we sure he's a starting quarterback? I'm gonna ask Shane this after the game.

• 1:23:00Speaker 01

  Carly, Carly, you can leave your clipboard home for this one, I think.

• 1:23:04Bill Simmons?

  Hey Carly, just, just bring your iPad.

• 1:23:06Speaker 01

  You have bigger problems if it's not going.

• 1:23:08Bill Simmons?

  You can probably watch a show during this game. The Colts aren't good either, though. I, I put this right in the Vegas zone. It's Indianapolis. I have Colts minus four and a half.

• 1:23:17Speaker 01

  I got it exactly. Six and a half is the answer.

• 1:23:20Bill Simmons?

  Ooh, that's too high. I don't think the Colts should be favored by that many points.

• 1:23:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, but are we in, um, are we in Dolphins territory where the Titans are just like, let's just.

• 1:23:30Bill Simmons?

  Oh, it's an automatic plus six and a half?

• 1:23:32Speaker 01

  That might be.

• 1:23:34Bill Simmons?

  They're pretty bad.

• 1:23:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:23:36Bill Simmons?

  Giants, Saints. I'm sorry, this is a poop fact the game. It's in, it's in New Jersey.

• 1:23:42Speaker 01

  They're gonna win again.

• 1:23:46Bill Simmons?

  I have Giants minus one and a half.

• 1:23:48Speaker 01

  So that's what I had, and that's what it was. And it flipped, the tic-tact, and it's Saints minus one and a half.

• 1:23:58Bill Simmons?

  There's not a lot to like about the Saints. Like, they lost their left tackle.

• 1:24:04Bill Simmons?

  Kamara, they lost, but he's also pretty washed.

• 1:24:10Speaker 01

  Mother shocker, not impressive. Ninety-six yards today?

• 1:24:13Bill Simmons?

  Well, they can't block for him.

• 1:24:14Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:24:14Bill Simmons?

  Defense is a mess. Sunday night, so you're up one?

• 1:24:22Bill Simmons?

  Because I think I'm gonna hit this next one.

• 1:24:23Speaker 01

  I think I'm up one, yeah. Go ahead.

• 1:24:25Bill Simmons?

  Sunday night, this is actually a good game, Green Bay at home against the Dallas Cowboys. We haven't seen your team in three days, it'll be another seven, and sadly for you, it won't be another 10 after that.

• 1:24:39Bill Simmons?

  Packers at home, I have minus two and a half.

• 1:24:43Speaker 01

  Oh, I got it right on, it's one and a half.

• 1:24:48Bill Simmons?

  Oh, you beat me.

• 1:24:49Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:24:50Bill Simmons?

  You did it for Jacob.

• 1:24:51Speaker 01

  Back on track, Jacob's did it.

• 1:24:55Bill Simmons?

  Packers minus one and a half.

• 1:24:58Speaker 01

  I saw it opened at Dallas minus one and a half, and then I think people were like, no, that's really, really dumb.

• 1:25:05Bill Simmons?

  Is it just the rest thing?

• 1:25:08Speaker 01

  I guess. I was impressed with that Packers' performance. I think they could bump that.

• 1:25:14Bill Simmons?

  Well, they seem like they fixed the offensive line a little bit. They did lose Hargrave today, who seems like he might be out for the season, so that's not good. But it seemed like their offensive line is in better shape. And Watson, who's this guy, I feel like all of us have had in fantasy, is finally becoming like a top-five or six receiver now. So every game, he's making two big plays, like one and a half.

• 1:25:36Speaker 01

  Watson and Golden are gonna be so open in the end zone next week. They're gonna be, it's gonna be like they're receiving kickoffs, almost.

• 1:25:44Bill Simmons?

  Well, that's why I thought it was gonna be two and a half.

• 1:25:45Speaker 01

  Yeah. They don't get respect here, the Packers.

• 1:25:50Bill Simmons?

  Monday night, Niners home for Dan Quinn, Primal Fear Chang, and the Washington Commanders in San Francisco. I put this in the Vegas, I'm minus five and a half Niners.

• 1:26:05Speaker 01

  Oh, well, we actually split it, because I said nine and a half, because they're the best team in football, and it's seven and a half.

• 1:26:16Bill Simmons?

  I don't know if, I don't know.

• 1:26:19Speaker 01

  Niners, Patriots, done. We're good.

• 1:26:22Bill Simmons?

  I just, I just want to know how many people are hurt in the Niners at this point. Just want to see the injury report.

• 1:26:27Speaker 01

  Doesn't matter, yeah.

• 1:26:30Speaker 01

  Chang, what do you think a therapist would tell Chang? Like, you have to pick a side? Like, it would, you would, it would behoove you to pick one side and stay with it for a year?

• 1:26:39Bill Simmons?

  I think the therapist would say, David, I think you're using the Washington Commanders to trigger different emotions that you have as an outlet to just be mad.

• 1:26:53Bill Simmons?

  I think that's what you're trying to do.

• 1:26:54Speaker 01

  You should sit with Dr. Melfi, that'd be good.

• 1:26:58Speaker 01

  Chang, go to visit Dr. Melfi, it'd be amazing.

• 1:27:02Bill Simmons?

  You tell me, what do you think the Commanders should do?

• 1:27:12Bill Simmons?

  Today's Parent Corner brought to you by PayPal. Holiday rush is coming, you can get ahead of it with PayPal this holiday. Shop your favorite online stores with PayPal, like eBay for collectibles, Fanatics for team gear, Walmart for electronics. Choose to pay now or pay later at checkout. Plus, with Pay and For, you can split your purchase into four payments with no interest, no late fees. Shop now with PayPal. What do you got?

• 1:27:34Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, this is just more about the icono money pit here. So my youngest, Harrison, Harris-O, as we call him, 12 years old. His friends all surf out here, and he kind of serves, but not really. He's a decent boogie boarder, and that's what I try to push him towards. I'm like, oh, man, you're such a good boogie boarder, but he knows what I'm doing. And so he's like, shut up, dad, I know, he wants to, because surfing is expensive, as I'm about to learn. So there's a surf team here at his school, and he's not good enough to be on the team. But the coach says he's gonna let him, Harrison, and a couple of friends, train or practice with them. And I'm like, all right, what's this gonna cost me? Is this gonna be more or less than the Vikings' fund that we set aside each month?

• 1:28:16Speaker 01

  I have a feeling it's gonna be more. So my wife's like, oh, well, he needs a, he needs a fiber. Like, what's that? She's like fiberglass board, they call it fiber. I'm like, all right, she won't tell me how much. So that's scary when she won't even tell me how much those are. And I'm like, all right, well, we're gonna have to pay for him to be on the team, even though he's not on the team. She's like, no, no, no, he doesn't have to pay. I'm like, I guarantee for insurance purposes, these kids are not gonna hit their heads. Like, he has to be connected to the team, even though he's not on the, oh, yeah, you're right, you're right, actually, that did, you know, we're gonna pay. So that's more loot, all right. When are they doing this? Like, three days a week from 5:00 a.m. to 7:00 a.m. I was like, all right, so let me get this straight. We have to pay god knows how much for this fiber, right?

• 1:29:00Speaker 01

  Tack on the insurance, and now we have to get them there at 5:00 a.m.? So he's exhausted before school and work, and we're exhausted, and he's not even on the team? What, this is an unbelievable deal, and we can't say no? Like, my father would say no to this. I wouldn't even get the word fiber out. I wouldn't get the first syllable of fiber out. Fi, yeah, the five foe gone, that's it. That's it, it's just a money grab. You just have to say yes, because then you're the friend that's not included, and god forbid you sleep in three days a week. So mad about this. Money grab.

• 1:29:33Bill Simmons?

  Well, so when I did the parent sports podcast.

• 1:29:37Speaker 01

  Surfing wasn't even a thing.

• 1:29:39Bill Simmons?

  Didn't even occur to me, to wake up at 5:00 in the morning, to put your son's expensive fiberglass surfing board in the car and then drive him somewhere. And then what do you do? Go get coffee? Use a porta potty? Like, you just have to stay there?

• 1:29:53Speaker 01

  You go see Dr. Melfi and cry, that's what you do. She opens the doors early.

• 1:29:59Bill Simmons?

  Damn. So you got roped in?

• 1:30:01Speaker 01

  It's so early, it's so, and you know, you see the tides here around us, around, like, there's like tsunamis coming. This is gonna be terrible.

• 1:30:11Bill Simmons?

  There needs to be a store that, for high-end, seemingly high-end sports like this. You know, like tennis rackets, or, you know, it's like, oh, well, you gotta get it, everyone else has it. But it could almost be like when you buy the fake diamond ring for somebody.

• 1:30:25Speaker 01

  I like that.

• 1:30:26Bill Simmons?

  Where it's like, no, no, this is a fiberglass one, but it's not. It's like some sort of knockoff fiberglass thing that you got in, you know, somewhere downtown.

• 1:30:33Speaker 01

  I like that a lot, they should do that. You think Karen Vass will put that on her platform?

• 1:30:37Bill Simmons?

  I think she might, I think it's a good idea.

• 1:30:42Bill Simmons?

  I mentioned last week about my daughter and her weird eating habits, and how much she loves pickles.

• 1:30:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:30:50Bill Simmons?

  And my wife, so going backwards, my wife, when she was pregnant.

• 1:30:58Bill Simmons?

  Oh, did your wife have food fetishes for anything when she was pregnant?

• 1:31:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't, I don't like, I think it hit pickles, but ice cream was definitely a big thing, yeah.

• 1:31:06Bill Simmons?

  So one of my wife's things were pickles, so this led to a whole debate of, was it because Zoe in her belly loved pickles and was telepathically? So we were talking about that, we were talking about pickles a lot. She calls me, she's all excited, calls me, she's like, you're not gonna believe this. This pickle company that's in, that's in LA, Kalen and Kalen, that's the one I mentioned in The Grove. They were all excited, we talked about pickles, and they reached out to Zoe and like, we hear you love pickles, that's so great. We want to throw you a pickle party when you're in LA, and serve her all these different pickles.

• 1:31:46Bill Simmons?

  And you would have thought, like, she got pulled out of the Price is Right crowd, be like, Zoe Simmons, you're now on The Price is Right. And she's running up to hug Bob. So anyway, she comes home for Thanksgiving, and like, it's, seeing us is like number two, and potentially having special pickles or whatever is gonna be her number one thing.

• 1:32:08Speaker 01

  Wait a minute, what does the pickle party entail? They just send a bunch, or is it an event?

• 1:32:13Bill Simmons?

  They're gonna have a whole thing of pickles, they want her to pick her up, she can try, I don't even know, I didn't really understand it. And I hope it was a real thing, and not somebody impersonating a pickle party.

• 1:32:24Speaker 01

  Does she have friends that like pickles too, or is this gonna be just her at this party?

• 1:32:28Bill Simmons?

  I think she has a couple of friends that like pickles. My wife will probably could get talked into a pickle party, anyway, pickles.

• 1:32:35Speaker 01

  Well, can you find out for me?

• 1:32:36Bill Simmons?

  Pickles can unite America.

• 1:32:37Speaker 01

  Does Kalen and Kalen make surfboards?

• 1:32:40Bill Simmons?

  Fiberglass pickle surfboards?

• 1:32:42Speaker 01

  Just add a pickle, it's the same shape, kinda, right? So just go big with it, yeah.

• 1:32:48Bill Simmons?

  That was today's Parent Corner, it was brought to you by PayPal. Get ahead of the holiday rush, enjoy the flexibility, or check out to pay now or pay later with no interest, no late fees. When you split your purchase with Pay and For, shop now with PayPal. Set yourself up to shine this season. Pay and For is subject to approval, learn more at paypal.com/payandfor, PayPal, Inc., NMLS 910457. I forgot to mention my dad's dog, Rudy.

• 1:33:16Bill Simmons?

  Did you see the movie, the movie Room where the ladies held the captage? We've talked about it. So this, my dad got this puppy and just kept the dog like in the kitchen with gate around, you know, the kitchen. And then, um, now she's allowed in one other room and she's basically in two rooms. And then they'll walk her outside every once in a while, but she's not, I wouldn't say she's had a lot of life experiences. Cause you know, my dad's a little bit older.

• 1:33:42Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:33:42Bill Simmons?

  And Zoe has decided that, um, he's basically like, we're like, oh, can we take Ruby out for a while? No, no, she's afraid of trucks. You can't like, there's always an excuse why Ruby can't be alone with everyone else. So Zoe started calling my dad, Ruby's captor and you can't take the dog away from the captor. And this dog now who's afraid of trucks and all these other things. Cause, um, the dogs. So we, we were arguing about this the entire time I was in Boston with my dad.

• 1:34:10Speaker 01

  Oh, that's great.

• 1:34:11Bill Simmons?

  Need more life experiences, all this stuff.

• 1:34:14Speaker 01

  I remember you were bummed when he took on a puppy to begin with, right?

• 1:34:17Bill Simmons?

  Really, really upset. And, and he did admit that we were right and they probably should know.

• 1:34:21Speaker 01

  Oh, really?

• 1:34:22Bill Simmons?

  Dude loved the, it is a really sweet dog.

• 1:34:24Speaker 01

  Well, invite the dog to the pickle party.

• 1:34:26Bill Simmons?

  Just does not like dump trucks or trucks or anything like that. All right. So before we go, we have to talk about our friend, Paul Koehorst. Um, I'll give you the floor.

• 1:34:37Speaker 01

  Yeah. So, uh, I mean, this is not going to be easy. We have this dumb fantasy league, which a lot, a lot of you are familiar with. It's me and Bill and, uh, Kevin Hench and John Hamm and our friend Damashek and our friends, Tony and Brad. And, uh, our friend, Paul Koehorst. And so usually you and I would report on who got voted out, right? So the winner every year gets to kick out somebody and it happens at the draft, right? So.

• 1:34:59Bill Simmons?

  This was your dumb idea that you came up with 20 years ago?

• 1:35:02Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah. Just a brilliant idea. But, um, so we didn't make a big deal. Usually we announce and we have a story about what happened. We didn't make a big deal out of it because the guy who won last year is our friend, Paul Koehorst. He had pancreatic cancer for six years and he announced, um, this year that he's voting himself out. So he didn't feel like he had, uh, much time left and that was his wish. And not nearly as funny as years passed. So we, we were caught all devastated. He insisted, we were like, we don't even want to go on with it this year or who knows, we'll see what happens. He's like, no, he insisted we continue and he wanted to follow along. So I made him my partner. This poor bastard hasn't been through enough. So he's gotten now partner with me for my team. So, um, so he, uh, he passed away this week.

• 1:35:47Speaker 01

  And, um, we're all like just walking around in a haze and, um, you know, he was the best dude. We met him as a writer's assistant at Jimmy Kimmel Live in 2003, right? He was right there from the very start, right?

• 1:36:00Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. We had two writers assistants. He was one of them.

• 1:36:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:36:03Bill Simmons?

  The nicest guy, like the meanest possible comedy writers, like making fun of each other all day. And, and he was always a little bit hands off because he was just such a good guy. It was like, not even, you know, he's just always nice and a great mood. We nicked in on the Dutch mooc.

• 1:36:18Speaker 01

  The Dutch mooc.

• 1:36:19Bill Simmons?

  And, and then it just became the mooc and that's just.

• 1:36:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:36:23Bill Simmons?

  What happened?

• 1:36:24Speaker 01

  Yeah. We don't, I don't know how people think of writers assistants jobs. Maybe it's different, but this, this was, a lot of you guys were coming off the man show. And a lot of, a lot of jaded, crazy personalities and the writers assistant has to.

• 1:36:34Bill Simmons?

  Big personalities.

• 1:36:35Speaker 01

  Put people on the schedules. So it's not a desirable position for, uh, 2003 Jimmy Kimmel Live. But you're right. Everyone enjoyed him immensely. The fellows immediately were amused by him. The day he did have like Dutch descent. So we call him the Dutch mooc. It just seemed to flow. The girls all wanted to be, him to be, uh, their staff boyfriend. And we had staff boyfriend, girlfriend and everything.

• 1:36:57Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 1:36:57Speaker 01

  He was number one. Like they used to, my cousin Mickey said, we used to call him number one. We'd call him to his face, number one. So, uh, I mean, I'll say a few things about the mooc. He, he loved his team. He's from the Bay area. He was a 49ers fan. They won for him today. Good job by them. He loved the Warriors, the Sharks. In fact, he named his fantasy team, the 49er Golden State Sharks. I think it was like five different.

• 1:37:20Bill Simmons?

  Golden State 40, yeah.

• 1:37:21Speaker 01

  Golden State 49er Sharks. So we had, uh, he went to the University of Oregon, would not have been happy with their performance. So he was always, uh, very cool and just very likeable. And he was always like ahead of the curve with stuff. Thing like even Sudoku, right? Like the dumb puzzle. Like he was like, he like, it got people involved. He's like, no, no, no, you gotta play it like this. And he like, got such a funny way about him and we would make fun of him. You remember trapped in the closet? I had forgotten about this. The R. Kelly, when, when it was okay to talk about R. Kelly. Remember he had those, uh, videos and like.

• 1:37:50Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:37:51Speaker 01

  He was the one who discovered it for us. Like he's like, you gotta see this R. Kelly trapped in the closet. Jimmy did a bunch of parodies. It was good. Um, I could say a million things. He collected pictures of floss picks. Like dental floss, those dental floss picks. And, um, he would spot them everywhere. And he was like endlessly entertained and confused as to where he would find them. Like he'd be like at an ice skating rink and he'd find like a floss pick on the ice and he'd take a picture and then he would want to talk to you about it. Like, how did it get there? Like, were you, were you like skating with your gal and you remember, oh wait, I have a, a poppy seed stuck in my, uh, bicuspid. I gotta get it out. And he was always like so interested in so, such dumb stuff. And we loved him endlessly.

• 1:38:33Bill Simmons?

  He was an excellent.

• 1:38:33Speaker 01

  Also loved golf. Was an excellent golfer and love, love golf and.

• 1:38:38Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:38:38Speaker 01

  All the dialogue and Tiger's Run was happening when we were there. He would win tournaments. He would, as a golfer himself, he probably could have been like a club pro at some point. So.

• 1:38:47Bill Simmons?

  We had that golfer personality of, uh.

• 1:38:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:38:49Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:38:50Speaker 01

  And he wrote golf books. Uh, he ended up working for golf.com. He started me off betting player props with golf. He's like, that, that was when like Tiger was like even odds minus 300 to win tournaments. Like, no, no, but you gotta bet them in the third round. Cause Saturday's when it hits. I'm like, what is this? And then next thing you know, I'm watching golf all day Saturday. He'd come on, uh, on against all odds. He'd give his picks. His analysis was excellent.

• 1:39:12Bill Simmons?

  I popped on Fairway Rowan a couple of times.

• 1:39:13Speaker 01

  Yeah. We'd go on Fairway Rowan. He would take a major, his best, his favorite bet was for a major to go to a playoff. Which paid like plus 350. You know, if it's tied in regulation after 72 holes, 19 majors in a row didn't go to a playoff. I'm like, mooc, what are you doing? You're getting plus 350 for something else? He's like, I'm telling you, it's going to happen. Thankfully, finally it happened.

• 1:39:35Bill Simmons?

  Sounds like one of your best.

• 1:39:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know. Exactly.

• 1:39:38Bill Simmons?

  Well, he was also, he was a spectacular fantasy player.

• 1:39:40Speaker 01

  So talk about that.

• 1:39:41Bill Simmons?

  He's won the league four times since the last time I won. And I feel like he invented the, I'm tripling down on an offense that I like move.

• 1:39:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:39:51Bill Simmons?

  Before a lot, now a lot of people do that, but he, his team was always good. And you were, you'd like see him and you'd be like, oh man, I'm going against the mooc.

• 1:40:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:40:00Bill Simmons?

  But yeah, he ended up winning last year when he, when he wasn't even a hundred percent.

• 1:40:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:40:06Bill Simmons?

  But he was just, so we had this league, you know, we, some of us are good friends. Other people are in the league or passed around and, um, I, you know, like. We had some people leave. We had, there was in the mid 2000s, there were people that made a trade that it ended up, that part fell apart. But for the most part, it's, it's been this group, I think for 15 years or so. And I was talking about it on different pods and voting each other out and stuff like that. And he was probably the single most unlikely person on the planet to feud with Brad.

• 1:40:38Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:40:39Bill Simmons?

  But that's, that's where this went to another level. So you can.

• 1:40:42Speaker 01

  It really was great. I mean, yeah, I have four titles in the last 14 years. I look back on today. He made the playoffs in five of the last seven years. He's the greatest fantasy player, if that's possible, that I've ever met. And this is not an easy league. Like after week two, everything's gone off the wave.

• 1:40:55Bill Simmons?

  We have the same sleepers, everything.

• 1:40:57Speaker 01

  Exactly. But with the Brad thing is, you're right. It took it to a different level. And Brad always like a very abrasive personality and Paul was, uh, it was, it was, it was kind of friendly, but then Brad would always send one shitty email. And that would be like, Paul's like, well, if I win this year, then I'm voting you out. And sure enough, he kicked Brad out three times. Three times. He kicked himself out this year, but he kicked Brad out three times. And it provided the most entertaining moments in the league's history. Like Brad would be incensed. This happens at the draft. So Brad's excited to pick. He'd be incensed and confused. And he'd, he'd walk out the wrong door or he'd spill, on his way out, he'd spill everyone's beer. Yeah, we have videos. I think we have a picture. We're showing pictures of Paul. There might be a picture of Paul.

• 1:41:39Bill Simmons?

  Awesome. Long email change of, of him insulting us, insulting everybody in the league, being furious.

• 1:41:46Speaker 01

  Yeah. If we were doing a draft at someone's house, he'd scream at the neighbors on the way out. So like, I was thinking about like Brad and Paul were inadvertently like the greatest comedy team of all time because of this.

• 1:41:56Bill Simmons?

  They certainly brought you as much enjoyment as anybody I remember. One time Brad was so mad, he left the restaurant and thought he was walking down the stairs and was out by the fire escape balcony. After Paul voted him out. And, and we thought he slammed and he left. And then like, we heard some banging and then he came, then he's knocking to get back in. He comes back in, god damn it, it was a fire escape.

• 1:42:24Speaker 01

  I could see the mooc smile just, uh, just waiting for him. Yeah. Brad didn't want to be embarrassed and take the walk of shame through again. So he waited like 10 minutes. Like, I don't know. Like we weren't going to be paying it. We were going to be gone or something. So, um. Yeah. And you know, towards the end, I, I talked to him last week and he was confused. First of all, I, I, he couldn't find our podcast. And I was like, yeah, no, it's on there, mooc. And I sent them the link and, and, uh, and he was confused because we, we shared a team for a few weeks. If we had won or lost. And, uh, I think the medication, uh, I was like, we, we lost to Hench. He's like, no, no, we won, right? And then I like, uh, yeah, yeah. We, I felt like Rocky talking to Mick in, in three, you know, like, yeah, man, we won. So, um, he got us these rings.

• 1:43:05Speaker 01

  You know, when he was on Zoom with us, uh, at the draft, he did show up on, on Zoom and he got us these replica Superbowl rings. Uh, and when we all saw them, uh, from our favorite team. So he bought one for me and you and Hench and Damashek and, and Tall John. And, uh, and I don't even wear a wedding ring anymore because my fat ring finger swells up. And I'm going to force myself to wear the mooc's, uh, 95 Cowboys replica. Um, and, uh, listen, I, you know, I'm, I'm gonna, I'm not going to sum it up better than his wife, uh, Molly did. So, and this girl's the, the rock of all rocks. And, uh, I don't think she'll mind me quoting her Instagram post. She said, Paul was magnetic. He drew people to him, all of us, and he drew the best out of us, all of us.

• 1:43:48Speaker 01

  He reflected back to us, our goodness until we remembered it ourselves. So, um, uh, yeah. So find a, a floss pick and take a picture and say a prayer for the Dutch mooc.

• 1:44:00Bill Simmons?

  Well said.

• 1:44:03Bill Simmons?

  I'm doing the thing where I can't say anything.

• 1:44:05Speaker 01

  Good for you.

• 1:44:07Bill Simmons?

  No, it's just, you, you did a good job. He was a great guy.

• 1:44:11Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 1:44:15Bill Simmons?

  All right. That's it for the pod. I'm glad we did that though.

• 1:44:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:44:21Bill Simmons?

  All right. So you're doing.

• 1:44:25Speaker 01

  Now it seems stupid to talk about.

• 1:44:27Bill Simmons?

  Ringer wise guys tomorrow?

• 1:44:29Speaker 01

  Micro bet Monday, me and DeBundo are showing up and, uh, we're going to turn halftime of Rams Bills and raise guardians. So, uh.

• 1:44:38Bill Simmons?

  All right. Well, in the pod.

• 1:44:39Speaker 01

  Yeah. You know what? I have, uh, Mookie Wilson, um, in, in honor of the mooc and the 40 year anniversary of the Mets. I'm interviewing Mookie Wilson on Tuesday.

• 1:44:47Bill Simmons?

  Nice.

• 1:44:47Speaker 01

  There you go. A lot of mooc stuff.

• 1:44:49Bill Simmons?

  All right. Thanks to Kyle and Eduardo and, and, uh, Chris and everybody at the Ringer. Um, Sal, good job by you.

• 1:44:56Speaker 01

  Good job by you, buddy.

• 1:44:58Bill Simmons?

  We'll see you on, uh, Netflix next Sunday and I will be doing my pod. We had the over unders with Zach and House coming on, uh, on Tuesday. So thanks for watching. Must be 21 plus and present in select states for Kansas in affiliation with Kansas Star Casino. Or 18 plus and present in DC or Wyoming. Game problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER or 1-800-MY-RESET. Call 888-797777 or visit ccpg.org/chat in Connecticut or mdgamblinghelp.org in Maryland. Hope is here. Visit gamblinghelplineMA.org or call 800-327-5050 for 24/7 support in Massachusetts. Or call 8778-HOPE-NY or text HOPE-NY in New York. For Louisiana, call 877-770-7867.