A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal

The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss a wonky day in the NFL, including the Week 15 Bad QB Draft, featuring Tua Tagovailoa, Anthony Richardson, Will Levis, Mac Jones, Jameis Winston, and many more (2:24). Then they discuss Jaguars-Jets, what we learned from Lions-Bills and Steelers-Eagles, the Buccaneers hanging 40 on the Chargers, another poor coaching display from the Patriots, more NFC West mystique, the current playoff picture, and more (22:43). Then they guess the lines for NFL Week 16 (56:31) and close the show with Parent Corner (01:13:14). Host: Bill Simmons Guest: Cousin Sal Producers: Kyle Crichton and John Richter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  What's happening? It's Todd McShay and I'm back with a new home and a new show at The Ringer and Spotify. The McShay Show. It's a video and audio podcast coming to you year round with all my NFL draft information, big boards, mock drafts and player movement. Plus, I'll be chatting with some of my best friends in football, including some of your favorite football analysts. During the week, we'll have episodes on Tuesdays and Thursdays that'll include discussions about my player rankings, who's rising, who's falling, and who your NFL team should be keeping an eye on. Plus, we'll be reacting each week to the college football playoff polls and giving you previews and picks for each Saturday slate. In addition, I'll have episodes on Saturday nights with my immediate reaction to the full

• 0:44Speaker 00

  day in college football every week. So if you love the college game, the NFL, the draft, or all of it like me, make sure to like, follow, subscribe, and get ready for The McShay Show on The Ringer, Spotify, and wherever you watch or listen to podcasts.

• 1:00Bill Simmons?

  This episode is brought to you by Uber Eats. It's football season. Uber Eats is delivering deals every game day. This week, get 10 free boneless wings from Wingstop on qualifying orders. Game on, flavor on, Wingstop is here. So if your fantasy league is coming over for some in-person smack talk, order Wingstop on Uber Eats and get 10 boneless wings free. It's the perfect way to keep everyone fed tonight so you can focus on the game. No matter who scores big tonight, you'll score a great deal. Order now and get 10 boneless wings free from Wingstop, only on Uber Eats. Offer valid from September 14th to September 27th and from November 2nd to November 16th. Order minimum before taxes and fees is required. See retailer's storefront for details.

• 1:44Bill Simmons?

  Taxes, fees, and terms apply. Product availability varies by region. Exclusions may apply. See app for details. This episode is brought to you by Michelob Ultra. Excitement is in the air. That's right. It's the start of NBA season. I can't wait to get together with friends, share some Michelob Ultras and watch Tip Off. Plus, as the official beer sponsor of the NBA, Michelob Ultra is getting you closer to the action with experiences that make you feel like you're courtside to actual courtside tickets. Enter now for a chance to win at michelobultra.com/courtside. Michelob Ultra Courtside 26 to 27. No purchase necessary. Open to U.S. residents 21+. Begins on October 1st, 2026. Ends on June 30th, 2027. Multiple entry periods. See official rules at michelobultra.com/courtside

• 2:29Bill Simmons?

  for free entry, entry deadlines, prizes and details. Podcast is presented by The Ringer Podcast Network, where I have a new rewatchable is coming for you on Monday night. We did a Mark Wahlberg movie. It's now 10 years old. It's time to do it. The Gambler. A movie that has sucked Chris Ryan and I in and we had to talk about it. And it's interesting we had to do that since I did not do well on my picks this week. But you can check that out on Monday night on Spotify, wherever you get your podcasts, on The Ringer Movies YouTube channel. You can follow all the videos and clips from this podcast on the Bill Simmons YouTube channel. And you can catch up with us live when we do these Sunday night ones, which we also put on Spotify as video. Yeah, a lot of video stuff going on for us right now.

• 3:13Bill Simmons?

  But Cousin Sal is going to join in a second. We're going to talk about a rollicking Sunday. Just a bizarre set of early games, then some late games that seemed promising. And then we're disappointing, but weirdly, weirdly interesting for the season. And a whole bunch of other stuff, including Parent Corner. It's all next. First, our friends from Pearl Jam.

• 3:54Bill Simmons?

  All right, we are live. It is almost 8:30 Pacific time. Sal, this is the first time I have ever done a live podcast right after losing a 13-point tease because

• 4:05Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 4:06Bill Simmons?

  because the Packers decided to just throw it late for a touchdown. And then the Seahawks just decided to hand the ball off the last three minutes. This is why you don't do 13-point teases, Sal. This is what I learned today. They're super dumb. I don't know how I kept winning them.

• 4:20Speaker 02

  Well, yeah, because you, you're, well, there are four teams, right? And you kind of have to win like all 12 games before you lose a game, right? To make money. I don't know. It's tough. That, that game sucked. That, the whole day sucked. I was so disappointed. It was like nine hours of Tyson versus Paul. Like, this was supposed to be a great day. It's still football, so it's great, but not one game was solidly compelling from start to finish. I'm so disappointed. I didn't even lose that much money.

• 4:50Bill Simmons?

  Well, I lost my, this was my first, like, semi-ass kicking in a long time where I did the four, four games I really liked, and I was just dead wrong on three of them. I disagree, though, because I thought the early games were so incompetent and awful and poorly played. And there were so many bad QBs and so much weird shit. I actually kind of enjoyed it.

• 5:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, I guess we should have known.

• 5:14Bill Simmons?

  Every TV, something stupid was happening. And there was some of the worst quarterback play. I mean, who did we have in the, in the early ones? We had Mac Jones, Levis, he got benched, Jameis, he got benched, Hayner got benched, Rattler, DeVito, Boyle, Bryce Young should have been benched, Cooper Rush and Zombie Rogers. All played, we're all playing on different TVs all, all games. We had three benchings.

• 5:40Speaker 02

  You didn't even mention the worst one. It was Tua.

• 5:44Bill Simmons?

  I mean, it really is the worst.

• 5:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't know when in the, on, in the order you want to get to that game, but.

• 5:49Bill Simmons?

  Do you want to do that now? I had this for later. Let's do the bad QB draft now. The week 15 bad QB draft of everyone we saw today, and I have a 12 person list.

• 5:59Speaker 02

  Wow, okay.

• 6:00Bill Simmons?

  Who's your, who was your worst one today?

• 6:02Speaker 02

  I'm good. I know stats wise, it wasn't the worst, but, and I might just be saying this because he screwed my fantasy season. I would have, I, I'd switched him out for Bo Nix at the last minute, but two is number one. And in terms of like who I wouldn't want on my team, and I'm sorry, I know Dolphins fans are going to get mad at me and us, but the way he can torch his body, I mean, there's three things he does that are horrible. His, his, his body language is such that he, and you know, he turns his body, which allows the D backs to jump the route. No other quarterback really does it like this. And then he puts, you know, I'm glad this guy's in stable condition that they, you know, they had to rip the jersey off and everything, but this is what's going to happen with two. Also, he's obviously injury prone. Also, he can't win in cold weather, playing in the AFC East.

• 6:46Speaker 02

  I'm sure he's a nice guy. I'll keep sending him Christmas cards. I'll never stop, but he's the worst. He really is the worst.

• 6:53Bill Simmons?

  Well, he's the worst in the sense that he tantalizes you with the potential of something that seems pretty awesome.

• 6:59Speaker 02

  That too.

• 6:59Bill Simmons?

  And then just pulls the rug out from underneath you. Today he had three picks and threw a pass that led his teammate right into an oncoming train, basically, and the game got stopped for 20 minutes. I, I've been on this bandwagon the whole time and he, and he's been a divisive guy since college and the Dolphins fans are really protective of him. But to me, everything has to be perfect. And every play and situation and the teammates and he's got to throw the ball within two seconds. And it's got to be a quick slant. And every once in a while, a receiver is just going to get crushed over the middle. And then everyone's always just going to throw the ball to the other team and the weather has to be good. And in a dome, he's great. And it's all these excuses. It's like if you hired like a personal chef, who is a pizza chef.

• 7:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:44Bill Simmons?

  And you were like, but I, you know, I don't want any pizza seven days a week. And the guy's like, okay. And then like day five, it's like, hey, I made a pizza again. It's like. Like what about chicken, anything like could you, can you make a soup like, no, no, I actually whipped up this really good meatball pizza. And at some point, he's just serving pizza and that's Tua.

• 8:03Speaker 02

  I like that.

• 8:03Bill Simmons?

  He's serving pizza day after day after day in these games. I just think he's a 500 or worse quarterback.

• 8:08Speaker 02

  Can I simplify it a little bit?

• 8:10Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 8:11Speaker 02

  With another food analogy, he's the Krispy Kreme. He gets creamed. He's the creamed and crispy, but the Krispy Kreme has to be perfect. But whenever you have a Krispy Kreme, like, oh no, you got, you have to have it right when it's out of the oven. It's gotta be 80 degrees and it's gotta be outdoors and the receivers have to be healthy. And he's gotta get rid of the ball in three seconds. But if you have a three day old Krispy Kreme or one day old or that night, forget it. That's we're talking about.

• 8:35Bill Simmons?

  Chang would say one day old Krispy Kreme is one of the most delicious desserts. That's what he bakes it. He pans it, pan fries it.

• 8:42Speaker 02

  He's a magician. That's not fair. Yeah.

• 8:44Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, there's this place in LA I don't want to name, but it's a donut place and you walk in and you, when you go in to buy donuts, you're like, oh, I'll just, can I get a half dozen donuts? You think, do you make the donuts individually? It's like a weird foofy LA thing.

• 8:59Speaker 02

  I know what you're talking about.

• 9:00Bill Simmons?

  Where it's like, no, no, we, tell us what donut you made and then we're going to make it right. And it's going to be like fresh for you. And then you're in the donut shop for 10 minutes. And by the time the donut comes out, it's like, I could have already put down like two sprinkled donuts by the time I was waiting for this donut.

• 9:14Speaker 02

  Right.

• 9:14Bill Simmons?

  Maybe that's Tua. I don't know.

• 9:16Speaker 02

  It's called Tua's. It's Tua's of LA.

• 9:18Bill Simmons?

  I just want the Dolphin fans to admit, deep down, they know. Like stop defending this. Just stop.

• 9:24Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 9:24Bill Simmons?

  Like I, I, I was big on Mac Jones for that first year when he was a rookie and he made the playoffs and he played in the Pro Bowl. And I was like, this guy's a game manager. He can do it. And he just got worse and worse. And eventually you just have to give up and say, you know what? I was wrong. Mac Jones is not a starting QB, which I then thought again today, as I watched him today, Mac Jones, not really a starting QB. Tua is not somebody that's going to win three playoff games in a row, ever, at any point in his career. There's no situation where that's going to happen.

• 9:55Speaker 02

  No, I, I even thought, well, maybe, first of all, it was 78 degrees in Houston. I don't know why I thought they played there. It was 78 degrees. It was like, it's in the, like a Cowboys type dome, where you can still feel the outside and see the sky, but whatever. So he's my number one. I know that's dumb to take him over.

• 10:11Bill Simmons?

  No, I like it. No, this is the, it's a passionate trap. My, uh, my daughter's boyfriend, huge Dolphin fan, when we text all the time about Tua, and he vacillates between defending Tua, but then also getting mad when he has games like he had today.

• 10:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's like you're a screw up brother. Yeah, I know.

• 10:28Bill Simmons?

  My number one is, is this Hayner person that played for the Saints today, who lasted about, I don't know, a half? And then they were like, you know what? Maybe Spencer Rattler is better than you. Like, I don't know what, how bad Spencer Rattler is that he lost the competition to Hayner, but Hayner was in there for a brief, I don't know, what, an hour and a half against Washington?

• 10:51Speaker 02

  Too long.

• 10:51Bill Simmons?

  Nothing, nothing was happening. And we, we knew a bunch of people that had Washington and teases, and it just seemed like you were in safe hands with Hayner.

• 11:00Speaker 02

  Right.

• 11:01Bill Simmons?

  Then Rattler comes in, and it's worse for Hayner, because it's like, oh no, Rattler's in. Uh oh. Uh, so I would have Hayner one.

• 11:07Speaker 02

  I feel like that's another insurance ad that we'd be pounded with. You're in safe hands with Hayner. And then, uh, there he is throwing like, yeah, he had the headshots that got him the job. And then, uh, and then Rattler came in. Yeah, we could talk about the end of that game later. That was insane.

• 11:20Bill Simmons?

  Oh my God. Well, it's so funny. Like, first year at Grantland, we did the bad QB draft. We created this whole scoring system. Jacoby wrote a piece about it every week. He did all the scoring. And the premise was like, there's just so many, this is the glory days of bad QBs. But you would think at some point it would get better, and it just hasn't. You know, like, three-point shooting got better in basketball. And in baseball, like, pitchers throw faster, and, you know, there's more strikeouts. Like, things change, and for whatever reason, quarterback play has not changed in football.

• 11:50Speaker 02

  It's a few reasons. Jacoby would get carpal tunnel syndrome trying to write that article in 2024.

• 11:56Bill Simmons?

  Oh my God. Alright, so I have Hayner. Who's your, who's your next pick?

• 11:58Speaker 02

  Alright, well, I, you know, these are gonna be personal, because I stupidly had Tennessee as my, uh, upset. Don't, come on, don't laugh at that. That's not nice.

• 12:06Bill Simmons?

  No, I'm just laughing because I knew who you were gonna take.

• 12:09Speaker 02

  I mean, I don't, why do I do it though? I mean, at least you hadn't seen Hayner, right? You at least that could have been a surprise in there. How much, how much data do I have to see on Will Levis? Before I stop betting on him or betting on that team. And I just, I now think of it now as like, these teams like Cincinnati, if they want to look good, play a lit Will Levis. Like if I want to look good, in a family photo, I'll stand next to my fattest relative, right? This is what the Bengals did. They, they found the fattest relative as Will Levis. 10 turnovers in that game, not all Will Levis, although it seemed like it. He's disgusting. He's gross. He's number two for me.

• 12:48Bill Simmons?

  Well, did you see Titans Bengals today? It was the first game with 10 turnovers and 20 plus penalties since 2006?

• 12:55Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 12:57Bill Simmons?

  18 years since we've had that kind of incompetence. And you could feel it. If you had multiple TVs and that was one of the games, you could feel the incompetence. So he had three interceptions and a pick six. As, as one of the three, which maybe we call the Levis from now on.

• 13:14Speaker 02

  He would have had more. They, they took him out. They shouldn't have taken him out. They should have, they should have punished him further for that.

• 13:20Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, they should have explained to Brian Callahan, the, the full delone and how important that is. What was that? Five, five picks, including a pick six was the full delone?

• 13:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:31Bill Simmons?

  He's bad, but that's one of those things where we knew he was bad last year.

• 13:35Speaker 02

  My fault, my fault.

• 13:36Bill Simmons?

  No, no, but I'm saying the Titans, they get rid of Rabel. They're bringing this new coach. The GM wins this power struggle because Will Levis is his guy, new coach. And now they need a QB. Congrats. Can I have Boyle and DeVito as a combo for my next pick?

• 13:50Speaker 02

  Sure. A dual entry. Sure. Yeah, you could have.

• 13:53Bill Simmons?

  I couldn't, at one point they changed QBs and I just couldn't tell the difference on my, cause I had, they were on a TV that had no sound. I had no idea that DeVito even left with a concussion. Impossible to say.

• 14:04Speaker 02

  DeVito does this after every play.

• 14:08Speaker 02

  He doesn't figure, that's how you know the difference.

• 14:10Bill Simmons?

  All right. Who's your next one?

• 14:11Speaker 02

  Uh, all right. You have a dual entry there. Um, no.

• 14:14Bill Simmons?

  Now that kind of, those kinds of.

• 14:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's fine. That's fine. Uh.

• 14:18Bill Simmons?

  Some good ones left.

• 14:19Speaker 02

  I'm gonna, you know what? I, I know there's some like lesser experienced guys and I should probably go with Mac Jones. Just like when I see like. Of course. How could he not? And you know, I guess when you have Coach Middle seat, like everything's gonna look bad anyway, but Mac Jones still making rookie mistakes. And I think we saw the same play. They were driving. It was like third and.

• 14:41Bill Simmons?

  No, it was like second and goal from the six.

• 14:43Speaker 02

  Right, right, right. And he rolled right and he had time. He had like everybody beat. He wasn't gonna make it to the end zone, but he did not have to step out of bounds. And he sure as hell did. He could have flung it into the third row and it would have been fine. And it's like, oh man, I have money on that guy too. This is awful. What are we, why are they even playing the early games? Yeah, I always bet against the Jets, but.

• 15:04Bill Simmons?

  No, you wonder how bad it was because he was rolling out and he was four yards banned the line of scrimmage.

• 15:09Speaker 02

  Right.

• 15:10Bill Simmons?

  And the guys were coming and he was gonna do the Zach Wilson where he's just gonna chuck it out of bounds. And instead he did like the stutter step out of bounds and then seemed like he talked shit to one of the defensive lineman. And it was just like, you lost four yards for literally no reason. There was no reason to lose four yards in that play that any of us could think of. But it's funny, like having watched him as he, I swear he was really solid as a rookie. I really.

• 15:35Speaker 02

  Does that scare you a little bit? Cause you praise your guy Drake May and everything.

• 15:39Bill Simmons?

  It's not even, it's like comparing a Ferrari to like a Cherokee.

• 15:44Speaker 02

  Now, sure it is now. But why?

• 15:46Bill Simmons?

  Drake May was always like an awesome SUV that you could go cross country with and the stereo was gonna work and. You know, we always knew what he was, but it was like, can he be this awesome game manager and just kind of not make mistakes and be smart. But the stuff that he was doing today, it was all stuff he did the last two and a half years for the Pats. Just the inexplicable sealing it over somebody's head. The terrible red zone stuff, the just missing a wide open guy. The scramble out of bounds for no reason. Like it's just, it is who he is. Yep.

• 16:19Speaker 02

  Never got better.

• 16:20Bill Simmons?

  Change.

• 16:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:21Bill Simmons?

  And then the other thing I don't miss is the either he throws the pick or a terrible pass. And they see the defense is celebrating and then you just know you're going to get the cut to Mac Jones just kind of stomping off like.

• 16:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:34Bill Simmons?

  You know, and I was just like, I was getting PTSD watching it.

• 16:37Speaker 02

  That's how he was drafted, the same stomp. He doesn't change his stomp. He stomps down the, the, yeah. All right. So that's mine. That's my second.

• 16:43Bill Simmons?

  I do think like there, some quarterbacks like Wentz was really good for Philly and now, and then all of a sudden wasn't good, right? Like Jameis was always up and down. He never had a moment where he seemed awesome, but our guy Josh Freeman was awesome for like a year.

• 16:57Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 16:58Bill Simmons?

  Mac was never awesome, but it seemed like he was going to have at least a 10 year career and be Andy Dalton. You know?

• 17:04Speaker 02

  Yeah. How does certain guys figure it out and certain guys don't? It's, it's just weird and you wonder if they're practicing at all during the week, but go ahead.

• 17:12Bill Simmons?

  Well, I had Mac. Mac was on my board, but my next guy is Richardson on the Colts. Who cannot complete 50% of his passes, which in the NFL in 2024, when you're not allowed to hit the quarterback, you're not allowed to hit receivers over the middle. You just have all of these advantages all over the place. They're not even be able to complete half your passes. It's a real obstacle for them and sometimes they can overcome it, especially in close games. Like they came back and beat the Pats. But, uh, against the, uh, the Broncos, it was so bad. It led to the worst play of the year.

• 17:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:49Bill Simmons?

  I like, if there was a worst play every year, like the ESPYS, like the, the worst play that, what was that year when Jacoby Myers lateral backwards and it got.

• 17:56Speaker 02

  I like that.

• 17:56Bill Simmons?

  Intercepted by the Raiders and scored like, we were like, oh my God, I can't believe, there was a pick six on a double pass. That swung the Colts Broncos game. And this is a game where Jonathan Taylor dropped the ball before he ran into the end zone to celebrate. And somehow that wasn't the worst play of the game because this was worse.

• 18:14Speaker 02

  They, yes, he was, at one point, he was eight for 22 with like a few dozen yards passing, right? In a close game where you needed him to convert a third down. He wasn't doing it. And you're exactly right. And Steichen has to take shit for this, but the double pass reverse thing was a better option, even though there was probably a 30% chance that it was a pick six or a fumble, whatever the hell that was called.

• 18:36Bill Simmons?

  Have you ever seen that play before?

• 18:38Speaker 02

  Not really. No, not like that at all. I think someone was probably supposed to be blocking that guy, but still, that was their best option. It's really bad.

• 18:46Bill Simmons?

  And it made me sad because Lombardi, who took this UNC job for Belichick. And this is the kind of shit that he used to love. And it definitely would have been a big podcast thing for him. But now we're gonna have to carry the slate that Shane Steichen has to call a double pass that gets picked off for a pick six because his quarterback can't complete an eight yard pass. So I don't know what you do.

• 19:09Speaker 02

  It's looking like a really bad draft pick at this point. I feel horrible for the guy, but yeah.

• 19:15Bill Simmons?

  Today, he was 17 for 38.

• 19:19Speaker 02

  Yeah. And he made a comeback. Like I said, it was like, it was eight for 22 at some point.

• 19:23Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. So.

• 19:25Speaker 02

  That goal line thing, because you brought it up, what the hell's going on with that epidemic? It happened twice today where the guys are dropping balls like a quarter of a yard before the the goal line. Like, I don't know what the, what goes on.

• 19:37Bill Simmons?

  I had this coming up later, but I'm happy to discuss this now because I, do people blackout when they're about to score? It's the only thing I can think of. Is it like having an orgasm where you just kind of lose perspective? And you're like, ah, you just like lose the ball? What other explanation could there, ah, what other explanation could there be? Do you literally like blackout?

• 19:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:59Bill Simmons?

  Like these guys are professional athletes.

• 20:01Speaker 02

  Right in front of you before you had the orgasm. Yes, it would be the same thing, but you should be able to figure out where not to drop. Like this doesn't happen in other sports. Like Juan Soto's not rounding third. And then when he's between third and home, takes off in the dugout. I had mentioned Juan Soto because he's the greatest player of all time, but uh, yeah.

• 20:19Bill Simmons?

  Maybe you'll get invited in his 22 person suite.

• 20:21Speaker 02

  Oh, that'd be nice. Yeah. All it took was a suite. Yeah. Yeah. Just cross the goal line with a ball. Come on.

• 20:27Bill Simmons?

  But the thing is, it's not like this happens once every seven years. This happens like four times a year in college and pro football. It feels like it happens once a month, right?

• 20:38Speaker 02

  I'm sure Jonathan Taylor was pointing and laughing at Deshaun Jackson or whoever the hell did it in college or anything, right? And then they ended up doing it themselves.

• 20:46Bill Simmons?

  Cause the other thing that always drives us crazy is when the guy reaches to try to score near the goal line and the ball gets batted out or he fumbles it, you know, through the end zone. That's more understandable because it's like, all right, the guy's doing everything he can to try to score. This is just, it's a full-fledged blackout. Um, all right. So I had Richardson. So you're up. There's some good ones left still.

• 21:07Speaker 02

  Oh, I'm up. Okay. Um, all right. Let's see. Uh, I could, I'm.

• 21:12Bill Simmons?

  I could read you who's left on the board.

• 21:14Speaker 02

  Well, let me just go with Jameis. I love him though, too. Damn. I really do love him. But I, I need to see, there's not the excitement. We're not getting to the top of the roller coaster anymore. We're just keep falling. You know what I mean?

• 21:28Bill Simmons?

  Really bad for two weeks now.

• 21:29Speaker 02

  Yeah. It's not, it's not that good. And you know, he got sacked a bunch and threw four interceptions. But, and of course I had the Browns plus four and a half or five. But, uh, yeah, he's, uh, you can't depend on him at all.

• 21:44Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Jameis is like, he's like smores. It's amazing to have smores once in a while. They're the greatest thing ever. But if you ate it every night, you would just get diabetes and eventually die. Hmm. Jameis is super fun to toast Jameis and marshmallows. So let's get a fire. Oh, put it in the.

• 21:59Speaker 02

  But we should have had house for this, a dessert version of ranking the bad quarterbacks. Krispy Kreme, donuts, smores. Who gets the Mike and Ikes? I don't know.

• 22:07Bill Simmons?

  I guarantee Chang's having a great time listening to this. Jameis has 13 touchdowns and 12 picks this season, which I mentioned because he didn't play for the first half of the season.

• 22:18Speaker 02

  He's a 30, 30 guy.

• 22:20Bill Simmons?

  Six games.

• 22:21Speaker 02

  Right. He's got a lot of work to do. To get to 30, 30. Yeah.

• 22:27Bill Simmons?

  Well, there's still some good guys left. I, uh,

• 22:31Bill Simmons?

  I'm gonna go Rattler, just because the fact that his coach decided at some point this week, yeah, let's try Hayner. Just that, to me, that's like, that's gotta be on Rattler's resume. He was actually pretty good in the comeback today against Washington, but I'll go Rattler. All right, you take in, we have three left.

• 22:50Speaker 02

  Give me, give me a choice. Let me, uh.

• 22:52Bill Simmons?

  We have Bryce Young's left, we have Cooper Rush's back.

• 22:55Speaker 02

  We just saw Howie, I can't, I can't stand Sam Howell. I gotta, I gotta get out of here and go Christmas shopping. I gotta go get Jack O'Quinn's heart. I can't watch this idiot.

• 23:07Bill Simmons?

  I actually forgot how Sam Howell's unique trait of just standing in the pocket slowly collapsed on him like a building.

• 23:15Speaker 02

  Right.

• 23:16Bill Simmons?

  He did it four times in the game. Like, he never veers out. He's a.

• 23:21Speaker 02

  Statuesque. Really good. I'll put him on the list because he, that was maybe a game they could have played back into teaser territory, but not because, not while he was in for sure.

• 23:33Bill Simmons?

  I have, I'll take Bryce Young next, just because he looked good at the start of the game for like, I don't know, one pass. And I wrote down, because Stroud was already like kinda struggling in the Houston game, and I wrote down, we gotta talk about could Stroud versus Bryce be an argument again. And then Bryce.

• 23:51Speaker 02

  Cross it off.

• 23:52Bill Simmons?

  He didn't have four picks.

• 23:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, I might have said that on a podcast.

• 23:56Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 23:57Speaker 02

  That was, um, yeah.

• 23:59Bill Simmons?

  Against your team, not exactly the 85 Bears.

• 24:02Speaker 02

  I'll tell you, I was a little depressed, even though I'm out on my team. When we did guess the lines, it was like one and a half. Then it went to two and a half. I'm like, this team hasn't been favored in 34 games. And now my crap ass Cowboys team catches the two and a half points, but they, they stood up, man. I think they got pissed off by that. I really do. That was their best complete game since, I look back since, I think, the first time they beat the Bills in the Super Bowl, 52-17. This was the, after that, the best game they've played.

• 24:31Bill Simmons?

  All right. So I guess I have to take Cooper Rush and then you could have the last, you could have the last pick and take Wash Rogers if you want.

• 24:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'll take him. Although, like I said, this is the, the fat family member to stand next to. You play the, you play a team bad enough and you're gonna look good. So.

• 24:49Bill Simmons?

  All right. Quick break. This episode is brought to you by Fire TV. You ever sit down, ready to watch the game only to search and scroll endlessly? If so, you need Fire TV. It shows your live games from your favorite teams all in one place, right on the home screen. No more searching. Just sit down and turn on Fire TV. Separate subscriptions may be required. Feature and content availability may vary. This episode is brought to you by WeatherTech. Whether it's a pumpkin spice coffee that goes splat in your seat or a weekend tailgate that leaves your trunk full of gear and who knows what, you're gonna want WeatherTech in your vehicle. Whether you call it fall, autumn, or spooky season, whether the mess is your fault, the kids, the dogs, or the weather's fault, you're gonna want WeatherTech for American-made floor liners and a cargo liner that laugh

• 25:32Bill Simmons?

  in the face of fall weather. Visit weatherTech.com today.

• 25:36Speaker 02

  Wash Rogers is always there.

• 25:37Bill Simmons?

  That Jets Jaguars game, I thought was an absolute delight between some of the quarterback moments, some of the game management, and then the Jets, who really all they had to do was kneel on, kneel, do something, and they, they just could have kicked a field goal and then Jaguars would have the ball back with 10 seconds left. And instead, the Jets charge it and score. What's that coach's name? Olbrich? Who the guy's gonna get fired when, when the season ends. They can't, they can't interview Bill Belichick or Mike Vrabel, apparently, even though the season's not over. But, um, so they just let, and then all of a sudden, it seems like Jacksonville can come back down. And, uh, I was just, one of the dumber things. It kinda got under the radar because it was two terrible teams.

• 26:21Bill Simmons?

  Who cares? They're both three and 10, but it was just kinda stunning. Nobody does shit like that anymore.

• 26:25Speaker 02

  Yeah. The Jets like, look, are you sure you wanna lose this game at home in front of these fans? We'll give it to you. We're giving you a chance here. But, uh, yeah. Uh, the fact that Belichick met with them earlier in the year is just, uh, I can't, I mean, I do believe it. I do believe it.

• 26:43Speaker 02

  You hate that. You hate that there's even a 3% chance that that's true.

• 26:47Bill Simmons?

  There's three scenarios. One is the Jets are full of shit and leaking this and it's not true because they hate Belichick and want to make him look bad.

• 26:54Speaker 02

  Right.

• 26:55Bill Simmons?

  The second scenario is that he kicked the tires with them.

• 26:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:01Bill Simmons?

  Not because he wanted to work with them, but because he wanted to gauge interest just in general, what the league interest was in him.

• 27:07Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 27:07Bill Simmons?

  And then the third door is that he actually wanted to work with them, for them, which I will never believe for the rest of my life, that Bill Belichick, a guy who hated the Jets, hated them. Every time the Patriots played them, would try to pour it on and embarrass them in games, like despise them. Then got his 12 media gigs this year and lob shots at the Jets the entire season and Woody Johnson, like can't stand them. And now he wants to work for them. I'm just, my shit detector is going off left and right. He clearly, they, they, all these different people reported it, including our guy Schrager. So I, something happened, but I don't, I don't, I don't know what it was. It almost feels like when, uh, the Turk in The Godfather is like,

• 27:48Bill Simmons?

  "Hey, let's meet Luca Barazzi. We'll try to bring him over." And then all of a sudden Luca's getting like the fork stabbed in his hand on the table and they're like strangling him. I, I wonder like, is Belichick trying to pull a move on the Jets?

• 27:59Speaker 02

  Interesting.

• 27:59Bill Simmons?

  I, I don't know. I just don't think he would ever work for them. I just don't believe it.

• 28:03Speaker 02

  No, but I know, but he's not the most righteous dude in the world. I think your second scenario is pretty, it could happen. Like he kicked the tires. You don't think he'd take the call from Woody Johnson as much as he hated them? It really depends on how much he wanted to break this record.

• 28:18Bill Simmons?

  Would you take a call from Aaron Rodgers' media company? "Hey, we want to hire you, Sal." Yeah. Would you work for Aaron Rodgers?

• 28:24Speaker 02

  Um, actually I have something to talk to you about, Phil. Yeah. It was, I know it's going to sound weird.

• 28:30Bill Simmons?

  Aaron, you know, he's misunderstood.

• 28:33Speaker 02

  This is an Iowa State Network.

• 28:35Bill Simmons?

  I honestly think Bill Belichick would rather retire than work for the Jets. I don't believe it. And also they don't have a quarterback. He's going to be in the NFL would be to try to break the Shula record. He's like, good luck on that team. I just don't believe it. So I don't, I don't know why they had communications, but I don't think he was like, "Man, I hope I get this awesome Jets job." They haven't made the playoffs since 2012.

• 28:56Speaker 02

  Well, they should just ask him. He'll tell the truth.

• 29:01Bill Simmons?

  I think this worked out great for him. This North Carolina thing, the more, I know I did a pod on it the other day. The more I read and listen, hear everybody like, this is amazing. He has this, he was already the greatest NFL coach ever. Now he could have this last act in North Carolina and like kick ass for them. It's cool. Everybody loves him there already.

• 29:20Speaker 02

  Yeah. I mean, and he really pivoted because he made everyone think he wanted to go for the record for most wins in the NFL. But as it turns out, he wants to go for the most losses all time in college football. And that's why he's with Carolina. No, I think it's a good move. I think he did everything right. And I think you probably said it about like doing all the media for a year. He's loose. He still gets it. He's still in tune with the football. Even the girlfriend, I get it. I'm sure they're madly in love, but it really does show that he could like wrangle and relate to younger people. This is gonna work. I think it's gonna work. And so what? You know, the team was six and four and they lost their last two. In a conference where, you know, the, the team that won the conference is like the 12th seed in, in the NCAA.

• 30:04Speaker 02

  Like he could turn it around. It's not, it's not, not impossible.

• 30:08Bill Simmons?

  Well, it's also not like Jim Harbaugh going to Michigan and having to like build the whole thing and recruit people. And like that college football now, you're just basically buying a team.

• 30:18Speaker 02

  Right.

• 30:18Bill Simmons?

  And you're just trying to outmaneuver people and steal people and.

• 30:21Speaker 02

  Well, and he's gonna recruit 35 guys. And so like eight of them have to hit versus NFL where you can only draft like seven dudes and four. Right. I think the odds are in his favor for sure.

• 30:33Bill Simmons?

  No rules is good for him. All right. The big game today was Detroit Buffalo.

• 30:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:38Bill Simmons?

  Who are basically the same team. I realized as I was watching, I know, I know Buffalo won, but need the lead. Explosive offense, unstoppable and can't get stops.

• 30:49Speaker 02

  Right.

• 30:49Bill Simmons?

  So it's kind of like whoever is up 10-0, it's the game's over. And in this game, for whatever reason, Buffalo took the early lead and then Detroit's playing catch up after that. But it's a, it's a recipe that usually does not work to actually win the title. Is my point. Like even, I read this stat. Here's a good stat for you.

• 31:11Bill Simmons?

  So Buffalo scored 30 plus in eight games in a row, right? Pretty hard to do. The other teams who have done that, the 2000 Rams, 2007 Pats, 2010 Pats and the 2013 Broncos. Zero Super Bowls with those teams.

• 31:25Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 31:26Bill Simmons?

  So they'd be, you know, they always have a chance to break the trend, but I just feel like we've seen teams like this that are awesome offensively with an awesome player. But if you can't get stops, at some point that's killing you.

• 31:38Speaker 02

  It's so funny because the reverse that I saw was that the Chiefs have not scored 31 points this year. And any, and they compared it to other teams who have not scored 31 and they will have two wins, three wins, four wins. Like they're all junk and through the years they've all been junk. So yeah, there's, there should be a happy medium, but yeah, I, I mean, that's my Super Bowl Detroit Buffalo. It was, it wasn't good. I wish that game was, it was entertaining, but it just wasn't good. You never, I never thought the Lions could come back. I mean, I, I know people get on Campbell for onside kicking there, but the Lions gave up 8.2 yards per play. They kind of had to do something at some point.

• 32:16Bill Simmons?

  No, could we argue about this? Cause it was terrible.

• 32:18Speaker 02

  Let's do it.

• 32:19Bill Simmons?

  It's a terrible decision. It's terrible because if it was a sneak onside kick with the old rules, I'm, I'm all for it. I get it. You have to announce it's an onside kick. So it's basically, it's like.

• 32:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, but you say it low. You say it really low. So they kind of can't.

• 32:33Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, yeah. What is it? Like 6%, 7%, something like that?

• 32:36Speaker 02

  I know.

• 32:37Bill Simmons?

  Kick? So that's one out of every 12 converts their defense. So they're basically saying their defense can't stop Buffalo's offense 11 out of 12 times. And that an onside kick is better option than that. There's no way you could tip a pass. There's all different ways to stop an offense.

• 32:54Speaker 02

  11 out of 12, eight yards a play. It's kind of the same thing, right? And you probably look up and down.

• 32:59Bill Simmons?

  Nobody gets onside kicks. We've seen like one recover the whole year. It's like, you might as well freaking buy a lottery ticket.

• 33:05Speaker 02

  I mean, it's like Alan was jogging for first downs. I mean, he must've looked up and down the roster. So Carlton Davis was hurt. Dorsey was carted off. McNeil, the injury got worse and worse. So.

• 33:16Bill Simmons?

  I get it.

• 33:16Speaker 02

  But I, I get it. He's too, he is too aggressive in general, but.

• 33:19Bill Simmons?

  That was too aggressive. If you're just doing percentages, it's no contest. Your defense, you could, they could fumble a shotgun snap. They could drop a pass, like all kinds of things could happen. Onside kick, you need like, it's basically a miracle. So Detroit. The reason I picked them and lost was I thought they were gonna run the ball down Buffalo's throat. And I don't know why I wouldn't have thought that because Buffalo can't stop the run. Detroit's great at it. Detroit, 15 carries for 48 yards.

• 33:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:45Bill Simmons?

  Goff ends up throwing 59 times for 494 and 5 TDs, but the team that ran the ball down somebody's throat was Buffalo. And they ran for almost 200 yards, including Allen. They ran for 4 TDs. 28 first downs, 559 yards. And this is what, you know, I get it. If you're picking us, if you're picking Buffalo in this game, you're saying Detroit's defense cannot handle Josh Allen, and that turned out to be the correct answer.

• 34:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, but it's also screwed up. I know what you're saying. Like, Goff threw five touchdowns, and he had five interceptions against, was it the Texans? And they won that game, but lost this game.

• 34:22Bill Simmons?

  Lost this one.

• 34:23Speaker 02

  Like, it's, the season's kind of screwy. It really is.

• 34:26Bill Simmons?

  Well, how about this? Buffalo, in the last two weeks, has given up 86 points, over 1,000 yards, and 53 first downs.

• 34:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:35Bill Simmons?

  In the last two weeks. Like, I know the Josh Allen thing is super fun, but this is not how you win Super Bowls. And somebody's gonna get them at some point. Unless he, he would have to be superhuman in a way. Very few guys in the history of the league have just thrown a team on their back, I think, to win with the defense he has. But Detroit's defense is worse. And they lost three more guys today. They lost McNeil. McNeil might be out for the year. So, uh, it's never been a better spot, I don't think, for, for, uh, you know, this Eagles team that everyone gave up on, including me, three months ago.

• 35:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm trying to think of the one seed is a little, I saw 43% for Detroit, 34% for the Eagles. And yet, Minnesota controls their own destiny. If they win, they have tough games, but if they win all three, um, or I guess four now, they still have to play tomorrow, um, then they win, they get, they get the one seed.

• 35:29Bill Simmons?

  Because they got Detroit last week of the season.

• 35:31Speaker 02

  Right.

• 35:32Bill Simmons?

  And a game that we, we had thought for weeks and weeks that would be the game where Detroit rested everybody, and Minnesota is gonna be favored by 11 and a half. That's not happening.

• 35:44Bill Simmons?

  Here's the, here's the bad news for Detroit. This is another stat I read. No team has ever allowed 45 points in a home game and then won the Super Bowl.

• 35:54Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 35:54Bill Simmons?

  So they did that today.

• 35:56Speaker 02

  Hmm. Your Patriots never did that?

• 35:58Bill Simmons?

  No, apparently not.

• 35:59Speaker 02

  Bill Belichick's defense? No. I know. Yeah, it sucks for them because if this was the 1950s and we played a 12 game schedule, they would be in dynamite shape.

• 36:10Bill Simmons?

  That's true. Well, on the positives for Buffalo. There's some, a mini, it's not, he's not good enough to be a Ewing theory guy, but there's a little mini Ewing theory case for Stefan Diggs now. That they lose him and they're more exciting, more fun. Josh having the best year ever. They beat Casey and they beat Detroit. That's good.

• 36:31Speaker 02

  It's good wins.

• 36:33Bill Simmons?

  I think the big thing for me though is we, I would have said eight weeks ago. Who is going to finish the season as the most exciting guy in the league? And Lamar would have been like a minus 1,000 favorite, like Lamar. We talked about on this pod, like Lamar almost had to be on a multi-view screen because he's so exciting. And Josh kind of leapfrogged him, it feels like, right? He's the most exciting guy in the league down there. I don't think Lamar even got less exciting, but the shit Josh is doing. It's like watching a, a senior in high school playing like the freshman team. And he's just like, I'm going to fuck around. I'm trying to impress this girl in the stands. I'm just going to do some stuff and just like demolishing them.

• 37:12Speaker 02

  Even the flip passes on third down that just have to get over the line. Like he's just doing, like I said, he's like jogging out of bounds for seven yards. And then maybe it was mostly because it's a line. I think what we learned from the Bills, as bad as the defense is and everything. They are a tough out. They're really, they're never, we saw that with the Rams, right? The Rams had them dead to rights. They didn't belong in that game at all. They're a tough out and when they get up, they're going to get up too much and it's going to be hard to come back on them. So it might just be enough. By the way, that MVP run, you know, it should be an SB probably for multi-view player of the year. But that MVP is over. I don't know if, if in reality Saquon ever had a chance, but he's minus 900 now, Josh Allen. It's, it's over.

• 37:54Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Well, the thing with Josh.

• 37:59Bill Simmons?

  I was thinking about, I was thinking about like the great quarterback seasons.

• 38:05Bill Simmons?

  So since, since we were in college, 1989, only six quarterbacks have won MVP in Super Bowl in the same season, unless I miss somebody. Mahomes was the last one in 22. Manning did it in 06. Oh, Manning didn't do it in 06 because Tomlinson won, so he's out. Kurt Warner, Favre, Steve Young in 94, Montana in 89.

• 38:29Speaker 02

  But your guy didn't win? Brady never did it?

• 38:32Bill Simmons?

  My guy never had the MVP, but then also won, like he, he won it in 07 and 17, but didn't, they didn't win the title those years. So, but then there's this different title. When somebody has a season like the one he's having, that it's just like a memorable season. Like Rogers had that awesome 2011 season, but then the Giants beat him in the playoffs. But that whole regular season was incredible. Cam had that awesome 2015 season. You know, Brady had that awesome 07 season that was like iconic and then they lost anyway. And I wonder which camp is Alan going to be in? If I had to bet, I would probably bet he's going to be in that Brady 07 side. Like incredible, memorable, unbelievable season, but it wasn't good enough to win the Super Bowl.

• 39:16Speaker 02

  So, but how many teams could beat him? Like, you know, like, I don't know, they already beat, I, I, I know the never count the Chiefs out now with Mahomes. It might get sketchy anyway, but who, who stops them in the AFC? You think like Lamar, like heads up?

• 39:31Bill Simmons?

  I think it's a team that outscores them and gets the lead on them first and makes them play from behind, basically.

• 39:37Speaker 02

  It's not easy.

• 39:38Bill Simmons?

  That's how it would have to do. That's how it'd have to happen, but the, the best teams are in the NFC. But yeah, you're right. This could be a year, it'd be great. Did you pick them to win or you picked them to make?

• 39:47Speaker 02

  I picked them to win. I picked them to beat the Lions.

• 39:48Bill Simmons?

  That'd be amazing for you. Certainly a tone for a lot of, a lot of sins of predictions you made in August.

• 39:55Speaker 02

  In August, I thought we did well in August. No, you're right. Yeah. I had enough of the Browns and the Raiders and just shitty teams like that.

• 40:02Bill Simmons?

  You learn though. You learn. You learn.

• 40:05Speaker 02

  Still betting Will Levis. I've learned a lot. Yeah.

• 40:09Bill Simmons?

  Well, that wasn't your fault.

• 40:12Bill Simmons?

  But yeah, I mean, the fun thing about Buffalo is that it's just super fun. But you know, the Jim Kelly teams are also super fun. At some point, we'll see if this can translate. But the thing that's been so cool about it is just, it was like this thing. I remember I talked about it after Bill Walton died. When I went to see him and he was talking about Larry Bird and he was talking about the, when this last level, when it's like not just the performance, but the artistry of the performance and how you resonate with the crowd. Like, it feels like Allen's gone to another level with some of this stuff. Like, he's just so great to watch on some of these plays. Like, my wife was sitting down with me for like a quarter and she's just like, that guy's amazing. Is he the best guy in the league? I'm like, yeah, he actually is. Yeah.

• 40:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:57Bill Simmons?

  Good call. But he's just like, he just jumps out of the TV now.

• 41:00Speaker 02

  But imagine what her reaction would be if she had watched the if, yeah, if she had watched the 10 a.m., the 1 p.m. games out here.

• 41:08Bill Simmons?

  That's true.

• 41:09Speaker 02

  And then watched Josh Allen. She's like, oh my God, this guy doesn't belong in the league. Or those guys don't. One, one or the other. Because they're playing a different brand of football.

• 41:17Bill Simmons?

  Well, and, and for anybody who would say, no, he's been like this for a few years. He hasn't because he made turnover. He had a shitload of turnovers last year. He doesn't turn the ball over anymore. His decision making is just way better this year.

• 41:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:30Bill Simmons?

  Haley Steinfield.

• 41:32Speaker 02

  I think he's gonna be good.

• 41:32Bill Simmons?

  Maybe that was it.

• 41:33Speaker 02

  He's got it all.

• 41:36Bill Simmons?

  Next, next game was Philly, Pittsburgh. Which, um, I stay, I, I stayed at the craps table one hand too long. Or one, one shoot too long with Pittsburgh. They were great to me this year. Pickens not playing. I like the under. The case for them was low scoring game.

• 41:56Bill Simmons?

  You know, rock fight, 16, 14, 20. But what I didn't surprise was Philly moved the ball on them. Like, they had some long ass drives. Then Watt gets hurt at the end. That was a bad loss for Pittsburgh, I thought.

• 42:09Speaker 02

  Really bad. And they only had two drives in the second half, if I'm not mistaken. I looked it up. And yeah, I think they just walked into a situation where Philadelphia, you know, first of all, the A.J. Brown thing, that squeaky wheel. A.J. Brown figured it out.

• 42:23Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 42:23Speaker 02

  If I'm Jahan Dodson, the third string wide receiver, I'm complaining all week. Talk about how he and Jalen Hurts' relationship has changed over the last two months. You'll see your targets will go up. But yeah, and Barkley didn't even have that great a game, but.

• 42:37Bill Simmons?

  He left. He was gone for the whole second quarter.

• 42:40Speaker 02

  Yeah. I like the Eagles, but I, I, I still don't understand. I, I based it on Russ and I'm like, this guy's gotta have a bad game. He really didn't have that terrible game. He really didn't. They just never really, I don't know. I, I know time possession will indicate this, but the drives were great for Philadelphia. They didn't, they didn't squander any opportunities.

• 43:00Bill Simmons?

  Did the ball for 40 minutes.

• 43:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:02Bill Simmons?

  Did 26 first downs. They were 10 for 17 on third down. And the case for Pittsburgh in this game was their defense is going to be able to stand up to Philly and they, they just didn't. With that said, the rookie fumbles the punt for Philly. Pittsburgh gets the ball. All of a sudden they're on like the three yard line and then that, and this goofy penalty happens where the guy keeps blocking after the whistle.

• 43:25Speaker 02

  Right.

• 43:26Bill Simmons?

  There's no more devastating penalty than the, we're about to score, uh oh, 15 yards. Now we're on the 18. It's a, it's a fucking gut punch.

• 43:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:35Bill Simmons?

  It's 3-3. So they, they squander that and then Najee fumbles when they're driving again. They have this great drive going and he just fumbles a pitch and it really came down to, uh, to those two plays. I didn't feel like they were that far away from them, but Philly played better, obviously.

• 43:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, they have trouble there too. I think they lost the last nine or the last nine against the spread in, in Philadelphia. So I kinda liked everything. I took that, that was a win for me. I took them adjusted nine and a half Philly, which was outrageous. Cause, uh, cause Tomlin as an underdog is usually good, but I just figured, and so now they're locked in as a three pretty much. I know we're going to play the few, although the Ravens is a big one now. We have the Ravens to win the division. We're back in it a little bit.

• 44:18Bill Simmons?

  I, in the back, back, back of my head, I was a little worried about the games today just because of how weird this stretch is. We talked about it in the Ringer Sunday pregame. Where these teams play today, then Saturday, then Wednesday. There's four teams, right? And it's just, I, I don't, neither of us are going to understand just what the mentality is of to be ready, but no, you also have to be ready two more times over the next week and a half, basically. So, I don't know, they didn't seem like Pittsburgh today.

• 44:44Speaker 02

  No, for sure. Yeah. Maybe, I think you're right with this weird 10-day stretch. Maybe we do like I do in the NBA where you take both teams minus nine and a half. I don't know what the equivalent would be in football, but it's not, it should be, we should have known this week was going to be weird with the crap-ass Thursday game, San Francisco and the Rams. That was so bad, too.

• 45:03Bill Simmons?

  Is there an MVP case for George Pickens?

• 45:05Speaker 02

  I saw you say that. Maybe. That, that should be a separate award, right?

• 45:12Bill Simmons?

  He's like, he's like the secret MVP. It's like when they don't have George Pickens, they, they, they just don't get three explosive plays a game.

• 45:21Speaker 02

  Right.

• 45:22Bill Simmons?

  I do think, I, I made a mental note watching the games today, like, that just for the Super Bowl, you need to be able to run the ball and you need like three explosive plays a game. And if you can't do that, I think you're like an automatic crossover. You know what I mean? And Pickens was like their only, yeah, Eagles, the Eagles. This episode is brought to you by PNC Bank. In today's sports, everyone is constantly trying to outdo each other. Trick formations, infield shifts, constant rotation changes, yet it's proven time and time again that strong fundamentals are the thing that will lead you to victory. Banking, no different. While everyone else tries to outdo each other, PNC Bank just keeps going right down the middle with steady, calculated money moves

• 46:06Bill Simmons?

  and the financial wins just keep coming. PNC Bank, brilliantly boring since 1865, brilliantly boring since 1865 is a registered mark of the PNC Financial Services Group and Incorporated. PNC Bank, National Association, Member, FTIC. This episode of the Bill Simmons Podcast is presented by State Farm. Every football player brings something different to the field. Maybe they have a cannon arm, speed, power. Maybe they have their own podcast. That being said, no two players are exactly alike. And the same is true off the field. That's why State Farm takes the time to get to know you, so they can help personalize coverage for your life and budget, like a good neighbor.

• 46:48Bill Simmons?

  State Farm is there. Can do it. That's, you know, and obviously Buffalo can too. Tampa Chargers, which I wisely stayed away from. Tampa drops 40 on the Chargers.

• 46:58Speaker 02

  Yeah. Very weird because it seemed like Baker was gonna have a reckless type of game, right? And then he just, uh, righted the ship. I feel like Herbert, you know, he was really only like, only like Thursday where he came off the injured list. That angle, yeah, he wasn't throwing with force.

• 47:18Bill Simmons?

  Mike Evans had a two touchdown game, which it's fantasy playoffs. Of course he was gonna do that.

• 47:22Speaker 02

  Right.

• 47:22Bill Simmons?

  And then, um, Cardinals Pats, that was another West, West, uh, late gamer.

• 47:30Bill Simmons?

  There might be a mutiny with the Pats fans soon. The coaching is so bad. It's indescribable. I just can't believe it. And then the coach comes after the game. We have Drake May, third and one, fourth and one, like the key sequence of the game. And they don't sneak with them either time. And on one, another time they had him in the shotgun on fourth and one. It's like this guy's almost 6'6". Like, pretty sure we could QB sneak him. I know we can't block, but it maybe take him. So they don't, they get stuffed and that, that flips the game. And someone asked Mayo about it after and he's basically like, yeah, I don't know what we were doing. Like it was, he just threw the OC under the bus. Then they asked Drake May about it, who seems to be the only person on the team who's devastated after every loss. He's just like crestfallen on the sidelines.

• 48:12Bill Simmons?

  They talked to him after and somebody asked them like, why don't they ever sneak you? And he's like, honestly, I don't know. I'm almost, I'm 6'5". Like it's a player that's worked my whole career. I don't know why we don't.

• 48:23Speaker 02

  Do you think they're afraid of the, well, they're afraid of the result because what were you like 130% conversion on fourth down with Belichick and Brady? Like if you're.

• 48:33Bill Simmons?

  Brady had got stuffed, I think, twice out of 1,200 plays.

• 48:36Speaker 02

  Jesus. Yeah. Right. So maybe that's the thing.

• 48:39Bill Simmons?

  I'm exaggerating, but.

• 48:40Speaker 02

  No, maybe not. They look back. I don't, you know, listen, I have you right where I want you. I want you to be infatuated with, with this Drake May because otherwise you get sidetracked and we talk about the NBA cup and pretend that it's great for 15 minutes every Sunday. I love it.

• 48:56Bill Simmons?

  He's unbelievable. They, they, for three quarters, they just hand off and have him throw bubble screens and do nothing that he's like really great at. And then they'll fall behind by 20 and then all of a sudden it's like, hey, you should throw him down, wing it downfield and then he's like perfect 40 yard pass and you should roll out. It's like, oh, he does that. Like, it's like, we just did that the whole game. Play.

• 49:16Speaker 02

  Right.

• 49:17Bill Simmons?

  I don't understand why they don't play a tempo. It's super frustrating. We have two good players because Gonzalez like completely shut down Harrison.

• 49:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:24Bill Simmons?

  Shut him down. They went to him multiple times, shut him down. I didn't think it was a great win for the Cardinals because it actually felt like the game was a little closer.

• 49:32Speaker 02

  It's weird.

• 49:33Bill Simmons?

  We thought.

• 49:33Speaker 02

  I think they're the only team with seven wins, right? Or does Seattle have? I think they're the only ones.

• 49:38Bill Simmons?

  Seattle is eight. Oh, yeah. You're right. Arizona is the only seven win team.

• 49:42Speaker 02

  In the league, yeah.

• 49:44Bill Simmons?

  But we should talk about that because Seattle loses and now we have the Rams are in the three spot and Seattle's now out of the playoffs. Which we were talking this morning. I have Seattle division, Seattle to make the playoffs, Seattle over, like all that's, all that somehow stolen play.

• 50:04Bill Simmons?

  I thought Seattle was going to beat Green Bay and was very bullish on Seattle and I've liked Green Bay the whole year, but I just, I just thought this was a Seattle week and Green Bay finally played the game that I've felt like they could play the whole year and that of course I had the other side. They were great.

• 50:19Speaker 02

  They were excellent and I just think we have to look at Josh Jacobs for these next few weeks like we look at Barkley and, and we look at Henry. Like he's just going to take control of games. I really do. I don't know what happened. I don't know what kicked into gear. I mean, he's been good all year, but this is.

• 50:33Bill Simmons?

  Tonight he was special. The first two drives today, he was, he looked like Terrell Davis.

• 50:37Speaker 02

  Yeah. That said, they're plus 180. I mean, the Rams didn't impress me at all Thursday night. I know it was in the rain and everything, but I feel like 49ers dropped seven balls on offense and defense. One of them catch, it's a different story, but.

• 50:50Bill Simmons?

  Guys quitting on the sidelines, they're in the game.

• 50:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:53Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 50:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's.

• 50:53Bill Simmons?

  They have good stuff happening.

• 50:54Speaker 02

  Uh, plus 180 though for Seattle. They could, they could, I know you're down on them right now and you have enough on it, but I could see them making.

• 51:01Bill Simmons?

  Well, Gino got hurt. What happened to Gino?

• 51:03Speaker 02

  Right. That's true. We have to see. I know it was a knee injury. So, yeah. How, Mr. Howell's not taking them anywhere.

• 51:08Bill Simmons?

  I was real, I gotta say, I was really disappointed in Seattle. They'd kind of roped me in thinking their defense was good. And then Jacobs really big voided him, I thought. And they gave up some big plays. They had a couple of bad pass interferences. They just played like shit. It's a Sunday night game at home. You're underdogs. You need the game because the Rams miraculously beat Buffalo and beat the Niners in a five day span, which the odds of that were probably seven to one, right? So then they have the Rams sitting there at eight and six and they can't believe it probably. They're like, A, how are we eight and six? B, how are we leading a division?

• 51:45Speaker 02

  Yeah. What did they, that game was disgusting. Cooper Cup with a massive middle finger to fantasy owners. I mean, no catches, like an Andre the giant sized middle finger and they still, they still won that game.

• 51:59Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. The, so the Rams, they lost to Miami by eight. They barely beat the Pats and they lost to Philly by 23. They lost to Philly 37 to 14 in week 12. And at that point, they were five and six. With Buffalo and San Francisco looming and Seattle on week 18, Arizona week 17. They beat New Orleans, which was a little closer than it was 21 14. It was, that game was actually kind of close.

• 52:30Speaker 02

  Right.

• 52:31Bill Simmons?

  Beat Buffalo, beat San Francisco. Now they got, they're playing washed Rogers at the Jets next week.

• 52:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:37Bill Simmons?

  And have a legitimate chance now for like 11 wins. It's fucking crazy.

• 52:41Speaker 02

  Well, they end with the two teams in their division, right? I do think this is the one division that'll come down to week 18. They're home against Seattle on January 5th.

• 52:51Bill Simmons?

  Arizona is not good. And it wasn't just the, the couple of ways the Pats screwed up today. Kyler had his terrible Kyler pass that he does once a game. And he throws, he throws it right to, right after we got stuffed on third and one and fourth and one.

• 53:04Speaker 02

  Right.

• 53:05Bill Simmons?

  Kyler throws this jump pass and gets drilled as he's throwing it. We intercept that we're on like their 15. And they call a roughing the passer.

• 53:15Speaker 02

  Right.

• 53:16Bill Simmons?

  The guy's jumping up in the air to block the pass and then, and then kind of just hits Kyler because he's trying to block it.

• 53:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:23Bill Simmons?

  It was ridiculous.

• 53:24Speaker 02

  That pass was so bad, too.

• 53:26Bill Simmons?

  So bad.

• 53:26Speaker 02

  Worst of the day and because he got sandwiched. Meanwhile, the guy from behind didn't really get him at all. There was nothing illegal or nothing, you know, even close. But from, from the front, it looked worse than it was. Some of these passes, the roughing the passers are like Justin Fields got one. It's like, I don't know.

• 53:43Bill Simmons?

  There's been some really bad ones.

• 53:45Speaker 02

  They're like, oh, well, they hit him high. It's like, yeah, because he went low at the very last second. Otherwise that's not high.

• 53:51Bill Simmons?

  So the Cards are seven and seven.

• 53:55Bill Simmons?

  And yet they, I know they didn't barely beat the Pats by the score, but I swear the Pats were weirdly in that game. They lose to Seattle twice in three weeks and then we see Seattle just get the tar kicked out of them tonight. So I'm, I'm going to be selling on a, on Arizona and I, I don't.

• 54:13Speaker 02

  Selling Arizonas? You don't like them seven to one for the division?

• 54:16Bill Simmons?

  No, I don't. So right now our playoff matchups.

• 54:22Bill Simmons?

  AFC.

• 54:25Bill Simmons?

  Buffalo home for the Chargers. It's kind of fun. I don't know in a million years how the Chargers could keep up with Buffalo with points.

• 54:34Bill Simmons?

  They could probably play out like the Tampa game today.

• 54:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:37Bill Simmons?

  Pittsburgh home for Denver. We, we didn't talk about that Denver game enough because Denver was super lucky. I'm sure like Knicks was terrible. Knicks had three picks, you know, and then we talked about all the Colts stuff.

• 54:51Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 54:52Bill Simmons?

  But Denver is going to be probably a six seed against Pittsburgh.

• 54:56Speaker 02

  And then Buffalo or Baltimore, hopefully, but maybe Pittsburgh.

• 55:00Bill Simmons?

  Right, if Baltimore can pass them. And then Houston, Baltimore would be the four or five, unless Pittsburgh and Baltimore flip. So Pittsburgh, Denver is, looks incredibly shaky to me.

• 55:11Speaker 02

  Oh, no, no, no, no. They always, oh, yeah, you're right, because if Baltimore falls in that four or five, they may not give it.

• 55:17Bill Simmons?

  They're not putting Lamar in the Shaky's game. He's too good.

• 55:19Speaker 02

  Right. And then so what's the?

• 55:22Bill Simmons?

  Maybe you put Lamar in the Sunday, this early Sunday game?

• 55:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, that would be that where that goes. So then the other NFC South gets the Shaky's game? Or you really think Pittsburgh in the Shaky's?

• 55:35Bill Simmons?

  So NFC is, would be right now Philly versus Washington, solid. Rams versus Green Bay, excellent. And then Tampa, Minnesota, which I think is a good game.

• 55:45Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, you're right.

• 55:46Bill Simmons?

  That can't be the Shaky's game.

• 55:47Speaker 02

  No, I know. You're right.

• 55:50Bill Simmons?

  And then the interesting one is I think Amazon's getting the Saturday night game, which is usually like the best game.

• 55:58Bill Simmons?

  I don't know what that is with those six matchups. It's probably Rams, Green Bay, I would think, in LA.

• 56:03Speaker 02

  They like a cold one, though. Last, last year was the Chiefs, right? It could be Buffalo. They might do Buffalo there.

• 56:10Bill Simmons?

  So Chargers at Buffalo, Harbaugh goes to Buffalo?

• 56:13Speaker 02

  Maybe. Yeah, it's a good nut. They got enough to talk about there. Chargers will actually have fans more than they did today. Be interesting.

• 56:23Bill Simmons?

  The Rams have Jets on the road, Arizona and Seattle at home. Seattle is Minnesota at home, Chicago and the Rams on the road.

• 56:34Speaker 02

  Well, you're right. If Geno Smith's iffy, this, they don't have a chance.

• 56:39Speaker 02

  It is weird. He should be better at home, though. He wasn't, we went over stats on the pregame show. Like, he's not, the 12th man does nothing for him.

• 56:48Bill Simmons?

  I think I hit everything. Do we, we didn't talk about Dan Quinn screwing up that, that Washington game and screwing up everybody's teases. I guess that was the last thing we didn't hit.

• 56:57Speaker 02

  It was, is the referee's name Dan Quinn? I mean, I know it was, that was, you know, look, I'm not saying. The league got in their ears because everybody had Washington on a teaser and they needed to screw everyone over, but the refs stopped the clock. I'm sorry, fast forwarding to 20 to 13. Rattler to Foster Moreau, nine seconds left, clearly in bounds and the refs stopped the clock.

• 57:20Bill Simmons?

  It's tack and I like the two. Yeah.

• 57:21Speaker 02

  Yeah. And then they score with three seconds left and then they go for two, which would have killed money line parlays, but it was enough at 20 to 19 to kill the minus seven and a half switch went to one and a half. That was bizarre. And then they taught, they, they said they screwed it up after the game and they're like, but we can't review that. We're not allowed to review that. So they can make the most, the worst error you can imagine that everybody could see and agree to it right then, but they can't change it. I don't.

• 57:47Bill Simmons?

  So you don't think they could have spiked it in time? Cause I actually think they could have spiked it with like a second left.

• 57:52Speaker 02

  Maybe.

• 57:52Bill Simmons?

  Tackle like nine seconds left, but yeah, it was incredible that the clocks, there's literally no reason for the clocks to stop.

• 57:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 57:58Bill Simmons?

  But then Quinn, they're up seven with the ball and it looks like they're running out the clock. McLaurin drops a touchdown or it's sale, I forget whose fault that was. So I guess Daniel sailed it on him a little.

• 58:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:10Bill Simmons?

  And it looked like that was going to be, no, and now all of a sudden they kick a field goal. God misses it. Now freaking Spencer Rattler, he's coming back down and, uh, and all of a sudden.

• 58:20Speaker 02

  Well, so.

• 58:20Bill Simmons?

  House is this Washington tease.

• 58:22Speaker 02

  Uh, poor house. I know, but listen for us, we have to be looking forward to, we have to zone in on who's the team we want to root against in the playoffs or bet against in the playoffs. This Washington team's got all the makings, I think.

• 58:35Bill Simmons?

  They haven't played a game that's impressed me in like two months.

• 58:39Speaker 02

  Right.

• 58:40Bill Simmons?

  You know, I mean, and you think like they had a couple of wins there that they shouldn't have won. They could probably be three wins lighter, right? What's their record now? They're nine and five. They could easily be six and eight.

• 58:53Speaker 02

  Well.

• 58:53Bill Simmons?

  The hail Mary game.

• 58:54Speaker 02

  That Bears thing was ridiculous.

• 58:56Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. And then this game.

• 58:59Bill Simmons?

  Um, let's do guest lines.

• 59:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, we didn't, uh, yeah, I guess we didn't talk Mahomes getting hurt, but that's about it.

• 59:07Bill Simmons?

  Oh, let's do that quick.

• 59:08Speaker 02

  He's definitely not playing this Saturday, right?

• 59:11Bill Simmons?

  I just feel like the holiday season hasn't officially started until Mahomes has some sort of injury. And then we just have to, yeah, it's just, he's got to start limping around. That's how he gets ready for the playoffs. It's like, it's like how a bear needs to sleep during the winter. Same thing. He needs some sort of limp and then he's fine.

• 59:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, but that said, not playing Saturday and for sure playing, oh, because they need him on, they need him on Christmas. He has to play Christmas. Netflix spent way too much money on that game, right?

• 59:42Bill Simmons?

  You don't think Netflix throws him in a plane and gets him to Germany for all kinds of like stuff to pump into his ankles?

• 59:48Speaker 02

  He's playing that game. That's what I'm saying, but not, not this week. And that's why, yeah, I mean, Netflix offered Jackson Mahomes a stand-up special. They offered the, they offered, they'll do whatever they can to get him there. The wife could be in Squid Game three, whatever, whatever they want. He's playing in that game. No question.

• 1:00:04Bill Simmons?

  Well, I agree with you because I, I guess my Tex, my Texans game, assuming he wasn't going to play.

• 1:00:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:00:11Bill Simmons?

  Cause I think if it's a choice, you want to just wait. If you can't play him in both, if he's got a bad wheel.

• 1:00:17Speaker 02

  Well, because they're two up on Buffalo, right? Uh, one, one and a half technically because they lose the tiebreaker. So, so be it if they lose the one game, but then there'll be two left. They'll be a half game up.

• 1:00:27Bill Simmons?

  Also, if I'm them, I'm fine. Oh no, we're the two seed. This episode is brought to you by Expedia. You know how at the end of the season, your team goes to Cancun, sometimes earlier than expected? Sometimes after blowing a three, one series lead, but what if you went to Cancun with Expedia, save up to 30%? When you bundle and save, you can book the flight or the hotel now, then book the rest later. In all fairness though, hopefully your team doesn't go to Cancun, one, two, three Cancun, or if they do, you go with them. Expedia, the one place you go to go places. Sign in to save, savings vary.

• 1:01:00Speaker 02

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• 1:01:25Bill Simmons?

  We have to play the Chargers who can, you know, barely get to 20 points. Guess the lines. We have games Thursday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and then Wednesday.

• 1:01:35Bill Simmons?

  This is an official don't get divorced stretch.

• 1:01:38Speaker 02

  It's tough.

• 1:01:38Bill Simmons?

  Especially with the holidays. Yeah, they're really, really trying to fuck with our marriages now.

• 1:01:43Speaker 02

  They don't make it easy.

• 1:01:44Bill Simmons?

  Yep. And speaking of fucking, uh, you're fucking tied with me right now. It's 7-7.

• 1:01:50Speaker 02

  I know, I know. 7-7, one, week 16.

• 1:01:54Bill Simmons?

  You haven't beaten me since 1932.

• 1:01:56Speaker 02

  Stop it before then. I, uh, I was off on a few, but, but we'll see. Let's see. I hit this one exactly though. I know you're going to think that's bullshit, but I did hit the Thursday night one.

• 1:02:07Bill Simmons?

  Guess the lines Thursday night. Chargers home for the Denver Broncos. And I made the line Chargers by three.

• 1:02:17Speaker 02

  Yep. All right. We, we split that one. It is three.

• 1:02:20Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:21Speaker 02

  And that's what it was today. Does that make sense? Let's, let's think about this. It was three against Tampa. Denver is equal to Tampa, even though the Chargers got slaughtered.

• 1:02:30Bill Simmons?

  Tampa's a little better than, Tampa's a little better than Denver, right?

• 1:02:33Speaker 02

  Tampa's, Tampa's better, but Chargers keep, keep the three because Tampa's better. All right. Yeah, that's fine. A lot of Broncos fans.

• 1:02:43Bill Simmons?

  You know, speaking of Tampa, that NFC South bet, which is one of the only futures I really truly care about because we made such a big deal about it.

• 1:02:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:02:52Bill Simmons?

  NFC under 30 wins.

• 1:02:54Speaker 02

  Where are you?

• 1:02:56Bill Simmons?

  Well, um, I'll tell you that Tampa win didn't, didn't, I didn't love it, but

• 1:03:01Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:03:02Bill Simmons?

  We are right now at 22 wins with three weeks left. So it's like, and teams play each other. So I feel like I've clinched it. NFC East is at 29 wins. They're seven wins higher. This was one of our big bets before the year. It was the NFC.

• 1:03:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:03:18Bill Simmons?

  We made FanDuel create this prop, NFC East more wins than the NFC South. And it was minus 175.

• 1:03:25Speaker 02

  And now we're going to bankrupt FanDuel as a result. And you could thank my Cowboys for beating the Panthers. It could thank, that's one step closer.

• 1:03:31Bill Simmons?

  That was big. That really helped us.

• 1:03:32Speaker 02

  Because it's a big day. Yep.

• 1:03:34Bill Simmons?

  Two Saturday games.

• 1:03:36Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:03:37Bill Simmons?

  Chiefs Texans in KC. And neither of us think Mahomes is playing. And I'm going to make Houston the favorite. I'm going to say Houston by one and a half.

• 1:03:46Speaker 02

  All right. I said two. It is two and a half. Edge out there. You'll get this next one though.

• 1:03:53Bill Simmons?

  Texans two. I wonder how many times the Chiefs have been home dogs.

• 1:03:58Speaker 02

  Oh, at home?

• 1:03:59Bill Simmons?

  Week 18.

• 1:04:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:04:03Speaker 02

  He can't play. No way.

• 1:04:06Bill Simmons?

  Andy Reid moved one, one win closer to Belichick, by the way.

• 1:04:10Speaker 02

  Where, where is he now?

• 1:04:12Bill Simmons?

  He is at, hold on, let me get it. He is.

• 1:04:21Bill Simmons?

  271. He's 31 away.

• 1:04:24Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 1:04:25Bill Simmons?

  And he's five playoff wins behind him too.

• 1:04:29Speaker 02

  Somehow the NFL, yeah, NFL will give him the record this year. But yeah, you've done enough. It's fine.

• 1:04:34Bill Simmons?

  It's like, please catch Belichick. Please catch Belichick. We've decided to tamper with your salary cap space. So you have more money to spend. Okay. The other Saturday game.

• 1:04:46Bill Simmons?

  Ravens Steelers.

• 1:04:49Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:04:50Bill Simmons?

  Which I think I would have had Ravens by two and a half as recently as like three weeks ago, but I'm, I gotta say Ravens by four.

• 1:04:57Speaker 02

  Oh, man, you got me. I thought you were going to go lower now. I said three and a half. It's six and a half.

• 1:05:05Speaker 02

  So.

• 1:05:07Bill Simmons?

  Holy mackerel.

• 1:05:08Speaker 02

  I think we could hedge a little.

• 1:05:11Bill Simmons?

  With our division bet?

• 1:05:12Speaker 02

  Well, yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean, we could cover this. We could make when we won't win both, but we could take six and a half. Right? And they can win an 18 16 game like they played in November.

• 1:05:23Bill Simmons?

  What's our, what was our bet? It was division champs, Chiefs, Ravens, Bills?

• 1:05:27Speaker 02

  Chiefs, Ravens, Bills, Texans. Yeah, we did the whole AFC.

• 1:05:32Bill Simmons?

  Did we did it before the season or like week one?

• 1:05:34Speaker 02

  No, we saw like a month of action. They were like, this is stupid. We got it.

• 1:05:38Bill Simmons?

  And literally it was stupid because we're losing.

• 1:05:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, it is. It's always stupid.

• 1:05:43Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I think the Steelers are going to be, even if they have pickings, it's not going to be 100% pickings. But.

• 1:05:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:05:52Bill Simmons?

  That's a lot of points to lay in a second time they've played AFC North Raven Steelers game.

• 1:05:58Speaker 02

  It is a lot. I wonder what they, they're just predicting like they're going to melt down at this point like they, you know, all right. Tomlin has them over 500 like he always does. And now we see them slip to the six seed or whatever. I don't know.

• 1:06:12Bill Simmons?

  I was texting with the fantasy guys because Craig's a big Steelers fan during that game. And it was like Steelers bingo. It was hitting all the checkmarks of

• 1:06:20Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:06:20Bill Simmons?

  dumb penalty to pull them out of a touchdown and TJ Watts hurt. It hit like nine of the checkmarks.

• 1:06:26Speaker 02

  Najee. Yeah.

• 1:06:28Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, the stupid fumble.

• 1:06:31Bill Simmons?

  Sunday marquee game.

• 1:06:35Bill Simmons?

  I think it's Eagles, Washington, right? Isn't that our best Sunday game? We need to go Vikings Seahawks.

• 1:06:41Speaker 02

  You would have said Minnesota, probably before tonight, but.

• 1:06:44Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I think it's Eagles, Washington.

• 1:06:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think you're right.

• 1:06:46Bill Simmons?

  Eagles gone for 11 in a row. Second time they've played. Their games are always weird.

• 1:06:52Bill Simmons?

  And it's in Washington. So I'm going to say Eagles by three and a half.

• 1:06:56Speaker 02

  Oh, man, really? I said five and you got it exactly. It's three and a half. Why not five?

• 1:07:06Bill Simmons?

  Cause these two teams play weird games. I think that's the only reason.

• 1:07:10Speaker 02

  26 18, the last game I was in Philly. Yeah, I guess I'm down on Washington. I don't know why.

• 1:07:17Bill Simmons?

  I think you should be. I don't, I think they little smoke and mirrors those first six weeks. Daniels hasn't been, Daniels has not been the same since he got hurt whenever that, whatever week that was like.

• 1:07:28Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:07:29Bill Simmons?

  You know, he was like lasers to everybody the first five weeks.

• 1:07:32Speaker 02

  Sure. They never punted. Yeah. And they were a two point conversion away from the terrible team of losing today.

• 1:07:39Bill Simmons?

  So I only have two watchable games and part of it is because we have two Saturday games and I pulled two good ones out, but there's only two good games on, on, and these aren't even that good. One of them is Vikings at Seattle. Which I, that's it for Seattle. I think if they lose and the Vikings are definitely going to be favored. I have the Vikings by three.

• 1:08:03Speaker 02

  I got this exactly. Three and a half. And I mean, it's going to be more if there's no Geno Smith, but

• 1:08:10Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 1:08:11Speaker 02

  It seems like he's playing, right?

• 1:08:13Bill Simmons?

  Sam Howell against the Vikings defense would not make me feel good.

• 1:08:17Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:08:18Bill Simmons?

  So then the other one I have for a watchable, you're going to laugh, but uh, Jags Raiders in Vegas.

• 1:08:25Speaker 02

  Really?

• 1:08:26Bill Simmons?

  All kinds of draft pick ramifications in this. Not that, I mean, does anyone even care past Sanders and

• 1:08:33Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:08:33Bill Simmons?

  People are going to care where Hunter gets drafted.

• 1:08:36Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 1:08:37Bill Simmons?

  Will people care where the Boise State running back gets drafted?

• 1:08:40Speaker 02

  John thing? No, I don't, I don't, I don't think so. I think he'll

• 1:08:43Bill Simmons?

  People don't trust running backs.

• 1:08:44Speaker 02

  Great running back, whatever. He'll go where he goes. Yeah. I mean, well, who was the last guy on Bijon? I mean, the last one that went, they go 10.

• 1:08:51Bill Simmons?

  Bijon was pretty high. Yeah. He was top 10.

• 1:08:53Speaker 02

  Yeah. All right.

• 1:08:55Bill Simmons?

  Jags at Raiders. This is probably the Raiders last chance. This is a huge game for the Patriots. This would, if the, uh, cause the Patriots aren't going to win again. If the Jags, we need back jones to somehow pull off a win, but I have, uh, the Jaguars favored by two in Vegas.

• 1:09:12Speaker 02

  So that's what I had. I swear I did. And it's Vegas by one and a half.

• 1:09:17Bill Simmons?

  Okay.

• 1:09:18Speaker 02

  Where did they get that from?

• 1:09:21Bill Simmons?

  I do not know who their quarterback is. Is it, is it the Riddler?

• 1:09:25Speaker 02

  I guess as of tomorrow, I guess it will be the Riddler. So Atlanta is favored by five and a half over the Vegas, but Jaguars, they suck too. I don't know. I can't make.

• 1:09:39Bill Simmons?

  I might bet this game. Fairly watchable. Bills Patriots.

• 1:09:44Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 1:09:45Bill Simmons?

  Um, I think has to be 14. So I'm going to say 14.

• 1:09:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, I went 16 and a half. It's 14 and a half. You get that. Five to four, you're up.

• 1:09:55Bill Simmons?

  One thing with with the Pats, they have cheap touchdown potential at the end because that's the only time they kind of let May do his thing. Uh, they had another interception that wasn't his fault today. I don't know if you saw Booty.

• 1:10:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:10:07Bill Simmons?

  When, uh, he throws throws it to him. He did the receiver thing where he just flings it up in the air for the safety. That needs a name.

• 1:10:15Bill Simmons?

  That needs to be named after some, but there had to be some receiver who did that better than anyone.

• 1:10:19Speaker 02

  Somebody's keeping track of these stats. There's gotta be somebody that has a, let's go to our next gen stats and see who fucks up more.

• 1:10:26Bill Simmons?

  For that guy fucked up and cost you interception, interception.

• 1:10:31Bill Simmons?

  Lions, Bears and Chicago.

• 1:10:34Bill Simmons?

  I with this Lions defense, I think putting high lines on them at this point is pretty risky. I'm going to say Lions favored by six and a half in Detroit. I mean, in Chicago.

• 1:10:45Speaker 02

  Oh, you get this. I said eight. Uh, it's seven.

• 1:10:50Bill Simmons?

  Oh, you're right. I do fucking get it.

• 1:10:52Speaker 02

  You get it. You get it, man.

• 1:10:56Speaker 02

  Do you not have San Francisco, Miami is a, isn't that weird that that's at best a fairly watchable?

• 1:11:02Bill Simmons?

  That that game will be awful.

• 1:11:04Speaker 02

  No, no, I know, but it's.

• 1:11:05Bill Simmons?

  Their fans don't want to watch that game.

• 1:11:07Speaker 02

  But if I would have told you two was the starter for Miami and Purdy's the starter for San Francisco. I know that it's a brutal watch.

• 1:11:14Bill Simmons?

  You just took two at number one and the bad.

• 1:11:16Speaker 02

  I know. I know. I'm just saying a month ago, if you would have said this, but they suck.

• 1:11:22Bill Simmons?

  Well, here's another home dog for us, the Jets, because they're going to be playing the Rams in Giant Stadium.

• 1:11:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:11:32Bill Simmons?

  The Jets have been moving the ball a little more.

• 1:11:35Speaker 02

  Oh, come on.

• 1:11:36Bill Simmons?

  Now granted, it's because of their opposition, but.

• 1:11:38Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:11:39Bill Simmons?

  You know, they're, they're a little, I think Rogers with the enigma coming out soon.

• 1:11:44Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 1:11:45Bill Simmons?

  Um, I think he just looks freer and happier.

• 1:11:48Speaker 02

  Uh.

• 1:11:50Bill Simmons?

  I'm going to say the Rams by three and a half at the Jets and this has all the makings of an everybody loses on the Rams bet.

• 1:11:59Speaker 02

  So, yeah, you get it.

• 1:12:00Bill Simmons?

  I see JJ picking them right now on the Sunday pregame show. Although I shouldn't talk shit because I got killed today.

• 1:12:07Speaker 02

  West going east. McVay, yeah, they let down maybe a little bit.

• 1:12:12Bill Simmons?

  Need the game. They need the game, bro.

• 1:12:14Speaker 02

  They have extra rest. We'll see McVay extra rest, the stats and everything. You, you get it. It's three. I said two. Um, don't blow this. Don't blow this Rams. Come on.

• 1:12:25Bill Simmons?

  Uh, this has all the makings. The Rams. The, the next couple of games, who do they have after this? They have a.

• 1:12:33Speaker 02

  This is all West, right? NFC West for them after this?

• 1:12:36Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, they're, they're home for Arizona, Seattle. Say, all right, we'll take care of the Jets. And then we got Arizona, Seattle.

• 1:12:43Speaker 02

  Oh, they're looking ahead.

• 1:12:44Bill Simmons?

  All of a sudden they're down 10-0. Garrett Wilson had a 90-yard touchdown. And Puka's going to the blue tent. Hopefully he doesn't. I'm not going to win for that. Um.

• 1:12:54Bill Simmons?

  49ers Dolphins in Miami.

• 1:12:58Bill Simmons?

  I, I stared at this one for three minutes.

• 1:13:01Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 1:13:03Speaker 02

  You want another three?

• 1:13:05Bill Simmons?

  49ers by one was where I landed in Miami.

• 1:13:08Speaker 02

  Oh, wow. All right. I get this. I said Miami by three. It's Miami by two and a half.

• 1:13:13Bill Simmons?

  Oh, wow. See, that's why I knew I was off in some direction.

• 1:13:18Speaker 02

  Man, so mad at Tua. So mad.

• 1:13:22Bill Simmons?

  I just want to point out the Dolphins aren't good.

• 1:13:26Bill Simmons?

  Maybe shouldn't be favored by two and a half over any decent team?

• 1:13:30Speaker 02

  It's interesting because they showed the DJ's record against teams that are above 500, but I feel like Shanahan's getting there too. Getting there too lately.

• 1:13:41Bill Simmons?

  Well, remember we used to do that as a bit.

• 1:13:43Speaker 02

  We did.

• 1:13:44Bill Simmons?

  What his career winning percentage was. I might have to, might have to bring that back.

• 1:13:48Speaker 02

  Not a bit anymore. Real shit. Yep.

• 1:13:51Bill Simmons?

  I was asking Lombardi because he came up with DJ for DJ Mikey Mack for McDonald's. Like Shane Steichen, what, what, what's his, he reminded me, we already came up with Thailand Shane for Shane Steichen.

• 1:14:03Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:14:05Bill Simmons?

  He's playing Madden on Twitch against somebody in Thailand. He's like, I'm going to call a double pass reverse. Oh no, I got picked off. Reset. Um, poop fact of four games. There's some really bad games this week.

• 1:14:19Speaker 02

  I know. This was the week. That's why today was the day to celebrate and it's great. But yeah, those Saturday games, screw it.

• 1:14:25Bill Simmons?

  Cause remember we've already done Raiders Jags, which is a poop fact, but I put it in the watchables.

• 1:14:30Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:14:30Bill Simmons?

  Falcons home for the Giants. I have Falcons by nine. What do you have?

• 1:14:36Speaker 02

  They're good. I said eight. It's 10 and a half. This is going to be your week. Eight to five, you're up.

• 1:14:42Bill Simmons?

  I'm going to try not to watch any of that game.

• 1:14:44Speaker 02

  Can we see the Falcons a little first before we make them a 10 and a half point favorite? Can we see them Monday night?

• 1:14:50Bill Simmons?

  Sunday might be a, let's not even do a pod.

• 1:14:53Speaker 02

  Is that right?

• 1:14:54Bill Simmons?

  Just, I don't know. Do we even, do we even need to do it? Look at these games are terrible.

• 1:14:57Speaker 02

  Wow. Well, you, you might, you know, you might, the Sunday night game is Tampa Bay, Dallas.

• 1:15:04Bill Simmons?

  Colts Titans, another one I don't really want to watch any minutes of. I, it's in Indianapolis and I have the Colts favored by five and a half.

• 1:15:12Speaker 02

  That's what I had. It's four and a half. Vegas zone, right there.

• 1:15:18Bill Simmons?

  Good luck to both of those teams.

• 1:15:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's.

• 1:15:20Bill Simmons?

  Cardinals.

• 1:15:21Speaker 02

  There's some bad ones here.

• 1:15:23Bill Simmons?

  Cardinals at the Panthers.

• 1:15:26Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 1:15:26Bill Simmons?

  It's another one. Just be careful with this one, my friends. I have Cardinals by three and a half.

• 1:15:31Speaker 02

  That's what I had too. Four. It's four and a half.

• 1:15:34Bill Simmons?

  Vegas. Man, they're throwing.

• 1:15:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, these are all stayaways. These are all stayaways.

• 1:15:39Bill Simmons?

  Two Vegas Suns in a row and then.

• 1:15:40Speaker 02

  I don't know if we could do a pre. By the way, Cleveland Cincinnati is fairly watchable. Hey, Jameis is fairly watchable the rest of the way.

• 1:15:46Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I'll move that up. Just, just, I'll move that up to the fairly watchable.

• 1:15:49Speaker 02

  All right, good. Thank you.

• 1:15:50Bill Simmons?

  The Browns are really bad, though. Poor Nick Chubb broke his foot today.

• 1:15:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, that was bad. He, uh, I, I, I felt like he broke his wrist the way he's fumbling, fumbling that game away. But yeah, this was 21-14 when they played in October.

• 1:16:06Bill Simmons?

  I have Bengals by six at home over the Browns.

• 1:16:08Speaker 02

  Uh, I get this. I said seven and a half. It's seven. That's your teaser game. You love it. You love the Bengals.

• 1:16:15Bill Simmons?

  I don't put bad teams in teasers.

• 1:16:18Bill Simmons?

  Sunday night. Also stinks. Bucks at Dallas.

• 1:16:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:16:23Bill Simmons?

  Yikes.

• 1:16:24Speaker 02

  I won't be depressed, Simmons, after this game. Thank God. Thank God they didn't beat the Bengals last week because now I would have been looking at seven and seven. Could they catch Washington?

• 1:16:32Bill Simmons?

  You would have had all the scenarios. Yeah, you would have been making yourself crazy.

• 1:16:35Speaker 02

  So good.

• 1:16:36Bill Simmons?

  McCarthy won, won his job back, though. There's that Dabala check shadow hanging over him now.

• 1:16:42Speaker 02

  Well, that's gonna happen. Yeah.

• 1:16:44Bill Simmons?

  Dumb. Sunday night, Tampa at Dallas. I have Tampa by four and a half.

• 1:16:49Speaker 02

  Hmm. I get this. Wait, do I have a chance or?

• 1:16:52Bill Simmons?

  Uh, I'm sure you do because you cheat.

• 1:16:54Speaker 02

  No, I don't. Well, first of all, I was way off on the Monday, but I have, uh, I had three. It's three and a half.

• 1:17:00Bill Simmons?

  Hmm. Too low.

• 1:17:01Speaker 02

  One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10. You're up 10-9. There's one game left. I was off by four points. So you're gonna get it.

• 1:17:10Bill Simmons?

  One, two, three, four, five, six. So we have seven home underdogs next week.

• 1:17:17Speaker 02

  Is that right?

• 1:17:17Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Always, always a red flag.

• 1:17:21Speaker 02

  We're gonna get hurt.

• 1:17:24Bill Simmons?

  I might scale it back. Didn't have a great week this week after an unbelievable run. Monday night, Packers, Saints.

• 1:17:34Speaker 02

  You have a four-point cushion. Best, best of luck to you.

• 1:17:37Bill Simmons?

  Thank you. I have Packers by 11 and a half against Saints.

• 1:17:42Speaker 02

  All right. I said eight and a half because I'm an idiot. It's 12 and a half.

• 1:17:46Bill Simmons?

  Hmm. I guess I should have just said that because it's never 11 and a half.

• 1:17:52Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:17:53Bill Simmons?

  All right.

• 1:17:53Speaker 02

  You're gonna have a 13-point, you'll have a 13-point teaser with Pittsburgh plus 19 and a half, Atlanta over the Giants. You'll figure something out.

• 1:18:02Bill Simmons?

  I can't believe the Seahawks let me down like that.

• 1:18:06Speaker 02

  It just got way out of this.

• 1:18:07Bill Simmons?

  Seahawks by 15 and a half, plus 15 and a half. Come on. Couldn't have hit that. Uh, let's do parent corner. What do you got?

• 1:18:16Speaker 02

  All right. What do I have? Uh, well, a couple of things. My oldest is home. Came back from Oregon like Thursday night, right? So first night home, he's not going out with his friends. I'm like, oh, that's cool. They will stay home. We'll watch, we want to watch Goodfellas for the 907th time? He's like, no, um, let's watch some NBA. I was like, oh, Jesus.

• 1:18:35Bill Simmons?

  Oh, no, it's an NBA hole?

• 1:18:37Speaker 02

  Listen, he is on the site that this is what he claims. He claims it gives you play money that you can turn into real money, but you can't lose real money. So he's gamp. Like it's a, I'm like, all right, I'm not going to investigate further. I know what you're doing. I invented this shit. It's fine.

• 1:18:53Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:53Speaker 02

  He, he has got like six NBA parlays going. He's live betting all these games. He's like, no, wait till this team. No, Dallas goes down nine, I'm going to hit them now. I'm like, it's like my son is like Raheem Palmer. He came home from college. I gotta let him in.

• 1:19:07Bill Simmons?

  He's got a burner room?

• 1:19:08Speaker 02

  He's got a burner room. And then like in the NBA, you'll, you'll go, there'll be a 19 and two run and you'll be either on the good or the bad side of it. It's amazing. So that was that, that, that scared me a little bit.

• 1:19:19Bill Simmons?

  So proud.

• 1:19:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, I was proud and I was terrified at the same time. So that's a, that's it.

• 1:19:27Speaker 02

  Quickly, my middle son. Next Saturday is a great sports day. Now, I thought today was gonna be a great sports day too, but here's what you got Simmons. I know you don't care college Tennessee Ohio State. The football games are gonna be tremendous Tennessee, Ohio State, Penn State, SMU, Texas, Clemson. We talked about Chiefs Texans Steelers Ravens Usik versus Fury. It's a it's a monster day.

• 1:19:49Bill Simmons?

  My guy Usik.

• 1:19:51Speaker 02

  Yes. I want to just veg out in front of the TV. I want to lose a ton of money. I want to drink non-alcoholic eggnog, whatever I have to do. The problem is my son Jack has a wrestling tournament and he could potentially do well in it because it's a JV tournament. And it's all day and it's all the fights way the fuck somewhere else. And here's the thing, there's 40 kids on the team. Only 13 of them right now don't have ringworm or emphytago. Empytago is like a staph infection. You get it from the mat. These schools say they clean the mat. They don't clean the mat. These kids come back sweaty. They don't they don't shower and they have everybody's dirty sweat closes up.

• 1:20:31Bill Simmons?

  It's the most disgusting sport you can play.

• 1:20:33Speaker 02

  It is gross. He's one of the he's going to wrestling practice. He weighs 126. There's so few kids now. He's rolling with like a 155 pounder. I'm like, what's going on here? It's like, so I was like, listen, I told I said, I don't ask for much, but I need Saturday. Oh, please, please do what you can to get emphytago. Please do. Don't tell your mother.

• 1:20:52Bill Simmons?

  Can you lick the mat?

• 1:20:54Speaker 02

  Yes. Like go all the roll, stay extra, stay afterwards, whatever you have to do. He's looking at me like I'm like, I'm, I'm, I'm serious. Get ringworm. Do what you can. So I will keep you posted, but I need this boy to get ringworm so I can watch Penn State, SMU.

• 1:21:09Bill Simmons?

  Here's $200. I want you to lick the mat after practice for three minutes.

• 1:21:14Speaker 02

  After everyone else looks at Matt, give them each 50.

• 1:21:17Bill Simmons?

  What a sports day that is. You're you're Usik. I'm just, I'm telling you now, I'm putting him in seven parlays with NFL teams. Every team I like, I'm just putting Usik in.

• 1:21:27Speaker 02

  Yeah. I just wish we knew how these guys train. Yeah.

• 1:21:30Bill Simmons?

  Him and Pereira are the two most reliable comeback guys on the planet. I'm just gonna keep doing it until one of them loses.

• 1:21:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, maybe Fury has.

• 1:21:38Bill Simmons?

  Is there a good undercard too? There's a couple of good.

• 1:21:41Speaker 02

  Is there on this?

• 1:21:43Bill Simmons?

  I thought there was at least one good fight before it. My guy Bakoli is not fighting until January though.

• 1:21:48Speaker 02

  Yeah. What happened there? He's not even on that great card.

• 1:21:50Bill Simmons?

  I know.

• 1:21:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:21:52Bill Simmons?

  I know.

• 1:21:53Speaker 02

  Anyway.

• 1:21:54Bill Simmons?

  Um, so my daughter's come back from college, actually late tonight. And, uh, my wife was, was, uh, ordering all this food to pick up because we need, my son's a weird eater. My daughter's the weirdest eater ever. She wanted to get food and she's like, you know, the maggots coming home. And we realized that we have, we have nicknames for everyone in my family that happen organically. Based on eating habits. So we call, we call Zoe the maggot because she's like, she's that one that's like with the, the slice of pizza. You just look down and there's just like, the cheese is gone.

• 1:22:34Bill Simmons?

  Or like, there's, there's a piece of sour, sourdough toast and just all the stuff around the crust is just gone. You're like, oh, the maggot must've gotten it. My wife has always been the rat because it'll be like, slice of pizza or bagel on the counter. And just like a very small, almost imperceptible part of it is missing. And you're like, I thought that was like a bigger pizza slice. And she's just carefully cut like one eighth of it off. So we always call her the rat, like she rats it up.

• 1:23:04Speaker 02

  It's good.

• 1:23:04Bill Simmons?

  And then my son is the raccoon because he like never eats. And then he goes downstairs, everyone's asleep at like 11:30. And just starts, you know, all of a sudden all this food's gone. You're like, oh my God, the fucking raccoon got in the kitchen again. So then I was like, so what's my nickname then? She's like, you're just like a bear. You just eat a lot and then you sleep. And I was like, I feel like that's insulting. I'm just the bear.

• 1:23:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, hell yeah.

• 1:23:31Bill Simmons?

  And I'm not, it's not like I'm like a, but I guess that's how it, cause I have like big, you know, I don't eat a lot and then I'll have a big dinner. So she said, I'm the bear.

• 1:23:39Speaker 02

  You're the bear?

• 1:23:40Bill Simmons?

  I guess I'm the bear.

• 1:23:42Speaker 02

  Tell her you want a second opinion.

• 1:23:43Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I want to say, I feel like, can I be like a panda or?

• 1:23:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, you have to be a specific bear or something.

• 1:23:49Bill Simmons?

  What's an animal that just kind of basically? That snacks during the day once or twice and then has like a big dinner. That's whatever animal I am. I don't know who that is.

• 1:23:58Speaker 02

  And is the clogger taken?

• 1:24:00Bill Simmons?

  You can't tell you.

• 1:24:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:24:03Bill Simmons?

  So our fridge is like, you know, my daughter comes home and there's like four different coffee made creamers. Cause she likes to make these homemade lattes that she drinks two sips of. So all of a sudden the fridge has like this thing. My son has all the weird food he eats and it's just like a free for all. So anyway, it's good to be back. The Simmons family is back. Everyone's home.

• 1:24:22Speaker 02

  Six refrigerators for different animals.

• 1:24:25Bill Simmons?

  Stuff's crammed in. There's coffee made on top of like, you know, my son's kelp noodles. I don't know what's going on here. So.

• 1:24:32Speaker 02

  I'm gonna get empatago drinking all those coffee mates. That's for sure.

• 1:24:36Bill Simmons?

  Did you see?

• 1:24:39Bill Simmons?

  It's very possible. Did you see Evil Jason Bateman in Carry On yet?

• 1:24:43Speaker 02

  No, I haven't seen it. I heard we're on a text chain when you were discussing it.

• 1:24:47Bill Simmons?

  He's so evil.

• 1:24:50Bill Simmons?

  Everyone's like, he goes evil.

• 1:24:52Speaker 02

  He should get off the poster.

• 1:24:55Speaker 02

  Well, he was evil in Ozark, right?

• 1:24:57Bill Simmons?

  I said, he wasn't on the poster. I didn't know he was in the movie. I started watching it and it was like, there's Jason Bateman. It's like, you told me Jason Bateman was in this. That feels like it's a big deal.

• 1:25:06Speaker 02

  It's definitely him, huh?

• 1:25:08Bill Simmons?

  Maybe he didn't, maybe he didn't want to know.

• 1:25:10Speaker 02

  I'm gonna have to check it out. I got a bunch in my queue. I end up watching dumb shit like the New York Stock Exchange, the, the Mark Gastineau. I listened to him carry on for an hour and a half, but uh, anyway.

• 1:25:20Bill Simmons?

  Did you watch that documentary? Cause I, I didn't.

• 1:25:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm like 40 minutes in. I just, I can't get enough of that nonsense.

• 1:25:27Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I don't, can't say when I was there for 30 for 30 that the jet sack exchange was on any of the master list for ideas. Just leave it at that. Um, all right. So what do you got to plug? Anything?

• 1:25:40Speaker 02

  Oh yeah. Uh, Through the Ringer with Tate on Wednesday. By the way, the kid's breaking news left and right. On that show, on December 4th, he can only say so much. He was instrumental in getting this thing going with, with Lombardi and.

• 1:25:54Bill Simmons?

  I thought he was gonna be there. It's like the athletic director.

• 1:25:57Speaker 02

  I think they offer, you, you should be careful. I think they offer him some kind of. Ambassadorship or something like to help with the culture or something, but it's good for him though. I mean, this is good. This worked out great for you, right? Like, cause he retires a Patriot. He's not gonna go three years with UNC and then end up with Seattle, right? So that's it. He's a Patriot. It worked out.

• 1:26:17Bill Simmons?

  It's way better than that because with him and Lombardi as a combo and I don't have a college football team. So now like I actually have a college football team I would genuinely care about.

• 1:26:25Speaker 02

  Awesome.

• 1:26:25Bill Simmons?

  I'll bet on their over. I'll put bets in so I care even more. I'm gonna be all in. I'll wear.

• 1:26:30Speaker 02

  They're, they're gonna be good.

• 1:26:31Bill Simmons?

  I was looking at hats on Fanatics. I couldn't find the right hat. I gotta find the right hat. I don't know what it's, cause it feels like it's gotta be like the light blue with just the logo, but I couldn't find one that I liked.

• 1:26:40Speaker 02

  It's gotta say the bear and then UNC.

• 1:26:43Bill Simmons?

  Bear.

• 1:26:44Speaker 02

  We gotta see it. Um.

• 1:26:45Bill Simmons?

  It wouldn't be the bear.

• 1:26:46Speaker 02

  I went an hour and 20 minutes and then mentioned the ring of pregame show. I'm 13 and two with my wisest wager. Good, good job by me. I had the Ravens. Come on.

• 1:26:54Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, we've been going 80 minutes and you didn't bring this up. So you had the Ravens just straight, straight up.

• 1:27:00Speaker 02

  You wanted to put them in a teaser. You're like, will it get to 14? Can I tease? I like, just take 16 to half. It's fine. It's good. They.

• 1:27:07Bill Simmons?

  I get so worried with those games where you cannot come up with a single incentive for the heavily favored team. To even care in the game.

• 1:27:15Speaker 02

  Oh, I see.

• 1:27:15Bill Simmons?

  That's when I get worried.

• 1:27:17Speaker 02

  Awful buy.

• 1:27:18Bill Simmons?

  Just sitting them in the locker room before the game like, fuck, we gotta fucking play the Giants.

• 1:27:22Speaker 02

  The Giants want this first pick so bad. They want, they want it so bad. So that's it. Cousins Sal's winning weekend on Friday and against the odds twice a week. We're 12 and four with our NBA picks. Only place you need to go on Ringer if you wanna make money betting hoops. There you go.

• 1:27:36Bill Simmons?

  You know, the Giants got Sanders. That would be super fun.

• 1:27:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:27:41Bill Simmons?

  I think him going to Vegas or, or the Giants, I just think is just for us, for people who want content.

• 1:27:47Speaker 02

  Right. Just watching that Mara, just watching Mara and reading about him. I don't know if he wants to put up with the.

• 1:27:56Bill Simmons?

  The whole Sanders family?

• 1:27:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't think so. I think, I think that's a Cam Ward team, to be honest.

• 1:28:02Bill Simmons?

  Do you, where would you play Hunter, receiver or cornerback?

• 1:28:04Speaker 02

  I think it's fun. If the Patriots get him, why do you have to only give him two options? They could do anything. Make him a running back. Do, you know?

• 1:28:13Bill Simmons?

  Is it what makes him special that in college he can do both sides, but in the pros? That's completely unrealistic.

• 1:28:19Speaker 02

  That's gonna be, that's gonna be the issue, right? But I don't know. Deion himself played wide receiver and, you know, D back, so maybe it could happen.

• 1:28:29Bill Simmons?

  It would seem like the move would be to play him at cornerback and then bring him in for like third down and eight.

• 1:28:34Speaker 02

  Gadget plays.

• 1:28:35Bill Simmons?

  Like special gadget plays.

• 1:28:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:28:37Bill Simmons?

  Almost using him like the old Percy Harbin kind of model.

• 1:28:40Speaker 02

  Yeah. I think he's fine. You should watch it. Did you watch his acceptance speech? I think you'll, you'll get on his case. Yes, it's, it's four and a half minutes. Just do it. It's better than Jason.

• 1:28:50Bill Simmons?

  Oh, really?

• 1:28:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's good.

• 1:28:52Bill Simmons?

  Better than Jason?

• 1:28:53Speaker 02

  Well, I didn't, I can't compare it. I didn't see it. Yeah.

• 1:28:58Bill Simmons?

  Cuz, good job by you. Great to see you as always. Thanks to Kyle Creighton. Thanks to Steve Sarudy. And then we didn't have Gahow today, but Richter.

• 1:29:10Speaker 02

  John Richter.

• 1:29:10Bill Simmons?

  John Richter. Got rewatchable. This episode is brought to you by Searchlight Pictures Wild Horse 9. John Malkovich and Sam Rockwell. I like those guys. Star in the sharp-witted comedy thriller from Academy Award winner Martin McDonagh. Writer-director of The Banshees of Minnehoshan and Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, set in the 1970s, filmed on location on Easter Island. Malkovich and Rockwell play CIA agents Chris and Lee, who are caught in a dangerous game of secrets and survival. Also starring Steve Buscemi, another one of my guys. Parker Posey and Tom Waits. Wild Horse 9 is being hailed by critics as a revitalizing shot of pure entertainment and easily one of the best films of the year.

• 1:29:54Bill Simmons?

  Don't miss Wild Horse 9. Only in theaters Friday. Get tickets now. Coming on, on Monday night. We did The Gambler, ironically, with Mark Wahlberg.

• 1:30:04Speaker 02

  Oh, you son of a bitch. That's a good one.

• 1:30:06Bill Simmons?

  And then we'll be back next week. So, good job by you.

• 1:30:09Speaker 02

  Good job by you.

• 1:30:09Bill Simmons?

  Thanks, everybody. I wanna see them on the way south. Let her say I don't have. Feel it with them.

• 1:30:24Bill Simmons?

  On the wayside on the blue side. Let her say I don't have.