The Basement Yard
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Welcome back to the basement.
Welcome back to the basement yard.
Hi. What's the matter? You're not having a good day?
Uh, it's been a week for the good old confidence of good old Frankie.
Oh, you've had a bad confidence week?
It's not been a good old confidence week. You know what I mean? Like, you know, you know. Like, you wake up certain days, you're just like, feeling good, feeling great, feeling great, feeling good. How are you? Had a rough performance yesterday. And, uh, just trying to get over it.
Just like the whole day?
Yeah, how are you doing?
I'm all right. How about you, Ant?
I'm having a better day than Frankie, I guess. Well, my day's great. Don't talk about my day.
He said his last week was bad.
The last, I think it was really just yesterday. I had to give a urine sample and, uh,
it just didn't, like, I was not happy with it. You didn't like the way it looked? I'm pretty, I like my piss.
What's up?
What do you like about it?
Solid color, uh, seemingly not cloudy, which I hear is an issue.
Yeah, uh, okay.
I think that's a bad thing, right?
Cloudy piss, I mean, I think.
I don't know. Also, I saw one thing, and it was just like, if you, if you have bubbles when you pee, you might need to go to the doctor. Have you ever pissed?
I think it's, it depends how hard you're peeing.
How hard do you pee?
I mean, if I'm in my house, I'm not trying to pee as hard as I can, but if, if I'm in public, then I want to piss as hard as possible. So people think that I have an alpha-sized weener.
They want to know, like, they, they want to hear and they'll be like, that's a big stream, that's gotta equal big dick.
Literally, and that's, I will go on record and say that this is a universal fact, and every man on earth, that when you're at the urinal, you're trying to make as much noise as possible, so that the other guys in there know, big dick's in town.
You're at the urinal? That's what you said, a urinal?
It's a funeral for your piss.
Yes, yeah, I mean, he is right.
Urinal, urinal.
Technically, you are right. Yeah, it's a weird thing, but like, also, but if you're with, like, the first, like, 25 times I hung out with Becca, I pissed on the side of the bowl, so I made no noise.
Yeah, you don't want to...
You don't want to, you don't want to fucking show off your piss stream.
You're going in there, you almost want her to be like, did he even do anything in there?
Well, well, also because of the inverse, because in public, if you do strong stream, big dick,
Yeah.
in, you know, private, you want it to be like, no sound, because if you do a stream and it makes a little sound, they're just like, oh, look at little trickle dick over there.
Yeah, yeah, that's the...
You know what I'm talking about?
It's not interesting, though, when you're in public, you, you want people to hear your pee, but you don't want them to hear your poop.
Yeah, I...
Like, no one's like pooping mad hard and being like, whoa!
What a good asshole on that guy!
That's a good butthole on that guy! It's a haggard's in there firing off a fucking wizard jet.
I'll do it one better, like, it becomes like, I've been in like bathrooms, like, public bathrooms, where when people are having a rough time, it's like a universal, like, everyone feels bad for that person. They could just be having a normal BM with like, normal noises and stuff like that, but like, people are just like, ah, man, feel bad for that guy.
Yeah, you're kind of looking around, you're like, he's having a tough, tough time.
They're having a tough go of it.
Have you ever been at the urinal and there's like an older guy next to you, and you could just hear that he's having trouble?
Feel so bad for them.
I feel bad because there's a part of me, when I see old people, like, like, I, I try to hold doors open, and like, you know, like, I want to help them with stuff in public. I'll draw the line there.
You don't want to help them pee.
Like help this guy piss, like punch his bladder or something?
Or do you ever like encourage him, like, "You got it. You got it."
Is that a real thing? Did you guys ever see that movie Waiting?
Remember the guy in that movie, like, has like a- an irrational fear of pissing in public?
Of course that's real.
Is it real?
I didn't know. I thought it was just like a movie thing.
I mean, I don't have it. I'll let it rip anywhere.
Oh, yeah, baby. If anything, I'm- I'm more afraid to pee in... That's a weird...
In my own home. I'd prefer people to listen.
No, I had to go for, like, do like a urine test, and it was just such a, for lack of better terms, piss-poor performance.
In what regard?
I was like embarrassed I didn't pee enough.
Oh, you didn't pee enough?
What- what kind of, did they give you like a- like a champagne flute, or was it a cup?
They gave me, I was very confused by it. They gave me like a disposable coffee cup.
Oh, you gotta do the pouring?
No, no, I had to pee straight in it, but they say like, I don't know if you guys have gotten these directives. No, they capped it, but it just looked like a coffee cup, which is dangerous, right?
In, why?
Brother, if the difference, if there's a, if there's not a very clear discernible difference between a coffee cup and a urinal sample cup?
Oh.
That's scary.
Did it have a drink spout?
No, but like, if I, if I put both in front of you real quick and said, "Look at them," you would have to go, "Wait, oh." You know what I mean? Like-
I mean, you would notice the contents of the cup. One is piss.
If they both have a cap on them?
Oh. Were they clear?
No, they were paper. Like-
Bro, like, go to like a fucking coffee shop, like, the paper cups that coffee comes in.
Sounds like you're not at the doctor.
Where were you? This guy did his thing is living right in front of you.
The person kept collecting it, goes-
No, not good enough.
No, no, no, no, no.
So, how big was the cup?
A solid, like, 12-ouncer?
And how much piss did you put in it?
Frankie.
I was, I was disappointed in myself.
What were you like, "The fuck, come on."
Well, I did, I did the whole like-
Run the sink?
The dire-
Like when you hear water?
No, I did the directive of like, pee a little, they say when you pee in a cup, like pee a little, like start the stream and then start it in the cup.
Right.
Um, I don't know why, but apparently that's what-
You get her going and then-
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you need to warm the car up before you drive on the highway.
I go straight.
Really?
Yeah, I just go for it.
You, I mean, I, I imagine there is a medical reason why they tell us not to do that. So I'm just gonna listen to doctors.
Oh, I didn't think that. Well, if there is-
But now that I think about it, that was, that piss could have been used to make me look like a better pisser.
Do you think they got to the lab and they saw the amount of piss and they were like, "What the fuck? What the fuck is this little bag of piss?"
Just like, they just like, "Oh, look what we got here."
Little pisser.
You know, I, I, I-
What's the matter though? You just couldn't squeeze anything out?
I, I had peed right before I left the house.
Frank.
I know, I, it was, it was like a, a clear, by the time I realized it, it was too late to like, go and drink water because, you know, like I wasn't gonna do much at that point. And my wait was like two minutes. So I had to just give him all I had, which wasn't much.
How'd you, how'd you get there? You drove?
So didn't you just have piss bottles in the car?
You can't just dump old piss in the-
First of all, I, I am, I am so far, I am like really good at not pissing in this car. I am like really, really, really doing well. And if I did, you think I'm just gonna be like, just be like, "Hold on, let me go to my reserve."
You know, I feel like-
If that's not enough, I got a trunk full of this stuff.
But that's, that's also not gonna give me an accurate reading of what a good, like what they're probably looking for.
If it's like, "Oh, this is from four weeks ago," like-
Four weeks?
Well, I don't have four week old piss in my car.
Let me make that clear, I don't.
This is three year old piss, Frank.
I don't, I don't, I don't. But you pissed in your car more recently than I have.
That's true. That's, I don't know how, if it's more recent, we, you know.
No, it absolutely is more recent.
I think it's more recent.
I, I would be very forthcoming. I can't tell you the last time I pissed in that car.
How was the color on it?
Solid.
Solid, solid yellow?
No, like it was, it was a slightly darker than yellow.
A dirty blonde?
Um, no, I would say like a, like a, like an Arnold Palmer. Not that, no, no, no, that's a little.
Were you bleeding?
No, no, no, no, no. That's a little too dark.
Like a lemonade-ish, but like a lot of water mixed in.
If you had dropped like a single drop of iced tea in a lemonade. Because they say too clear is not good. Apparently.
Le- oh, lemonade, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So like, look at a lemonade. But not cloudy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I got you, I got you.
You know what I'm saying?
It was a hydrated pee.
It was, I, I think I'm doing okay.
So I would rather have that because there was a time that, this wasn't the last time I gave a urine sample, but it was the time before that. I gave a urine sample and man.
You pissed?
I, I mean, I peed in it and like, there was enough in there, but boy, oh boy.
Was it, it was brown?
It was like, no brown.
I mean, people piss brown.
I know, but they're like, I mean, this was just like, it was very, very like a skittle yellow.
Ew.
And I was like, damn, I'm dehydrated.
I'm not even kidding, I've pissed that color before of like the green screen. I have. Well, I remember when I was in.
What were you drinking? Just Mountain Dew?
No, no, no, no, when I was in college, I, uh.
It's called something else.
No, I was not drugs. I mean, maybe. Uh, I was taking, uh, like workout supplement pills. And, uh, I pissed like neon green and I was worried, but I read the thing and it's like, that's normal. It's just excess vitamins and stuff. I was taking like, like Arnold classic.
What? You were taking bodybuilding supplements?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Wow.
You know, I'm 21 at the time, like if I'm ever gonna do something stupid, that's the time.
So you're pissing electric green?
Basically, yeah.
And.
That would have terrified me.
What are you so giggly about over there?
It's funny.
No.
Did you pretend you were like Shrek or the Hulk or something?
You know what? No, I didn't. I probably should have, though.
What is your reaction when that comes out of you immediately?
The first two or three times, I was just like, "Hold on."
What? How many times did you pee in it? That lasted a long time?
I mean, there's like a 30-day supply of the workout supplements.
Oh, oh, okay. Damn, that's terrifying. I don't know.
I got head and shoulders in there once.
Bro, I didn't know where that story was going.
I was like, "I got head, head and shoulders?" And then I'm like, "Also, what?"
Wait, you, what? I got head and shoulders in there once.
In where? Oh, in your piss hole?
Why do you have head and shoulders? Are you washing your pubes?
Well, like-
You got dandruffy dick? What's going on, dude?
Just ran down and got in there.
Ran down and got, "Oh," because he's got such a big hole, because it goes with his big ol', big ol' wang.
Yeah, exactly. I mean, you need a big enough hole to let the pee exit that big ol' thing.
Yeah, this guy's running through with a queso burrito in his pants.
So you're saying you put head and shoulders on your head and it ran down your body and got into your pee hole?
Well, it was probably just while I was scrubbing and got-
I'll say this-
This is a-
And then it burnt.
I will say this. If any soap is getting in my pee hole, one of the top ones that I don't want to have is head and shoulders. That shit is strong.
Dude, when it's on your head, it's like icy hot.
And it burnt. It burnt for like two days while I was peeing.
Two days?
You know, I got freaked out. Have you ever heard of the, uh, Dr. Bronner's soap? They're like, it's like the pure Castile soap. They have different flavor, flavors, a scent and shit like that.
Rex eating it. No.
It's like, I'm shocked. It's, it's, it's a very famous, it comes in a really recognizable bottle. It has like, it looks like the fucking entirety of the Bible's written on this bottle.
Okay.
And, um, it's like super runny and the first time I used it, my dad got the peppermint one and I like used it everywhere. Brother, it was like I had just fucking face-fucked a snowman.
Like, my shit was ice cold.
Your wiener?
Brother, like-
Like, it, it's like someone, like you just like put your dick and balls in the freezer and then put them back on.
That sounds kinda nice.
Then, I'm shocked you don't have-
On a hot summer day.
Pull up the soap. You'll know what I'm talking about. They have like different scents and shit like that.
What was the name?
Dr. Bronner's. Like, the, the fucking, the peppermint one will just, it'll burn the hair out of your nostrils.
Dr. Bronner's.
Yeah, there it is. Let me tell you.
I've never seen this.
It looks like you clean carpets.
I mean, it's so, it's like on the bottle.
It looks like an under the sink type of thing.
No, no, it's used as body wash.
That's soap?
It's, it comes like that.
Oh, it's magic.
But like, you can use it as like, table cleaner, you could use it as laundry detergent, like, you could use it for a ton of shit, you just need to dilute it.
This is too much for soap.
I mean.
I'm not diluting it.
They also make the bars, brother.
This is... Wait, so you can use the same soap for your balls that you can for your floor?
Yes.
It's an 18 and 1 soap.
Yes, dude, I'm serious.
18 and 1? How is there 18 things to even clean?
Yo, this shit, see? There she's got it, she knows.
Can you pull up the 18?
She's probably got the coldest tits on the planet.
Yes. Oh, the peppermint one?
I'll look up, well, you guys keep going, I'll look up what the 18 things you could use for Bronner's.
I need to know.
Yo.
I can think of body, counter, floor, what are we talking about?
It's like, you can like, like sprinkle it on your fucking...
Your car?
Like, you could use it as like, in the toilet cleaner, like, it's, bro, it's, it's super intense. And it's fucking crazy.
How is that possible?
I don't know, they make this shit, I, I don't fucking make it.
That's insane, dude, I've never heard of this before in my life.
But I'm cleaning and I'm just like, yo, this is crazy, dude.
And it just like lit your body up like a Christmas tree?
Yo, I'm not kidding, it felt like I was standing butt naked in Antarctica.
Did your, did your, did you feel like super clean when you got out?
I felt like I was the cleanest since I had come straight out the womb.
Wow, yeah.
Like, I've never in my life been that clean and I never will ever again.
That sounds like, nice, I kinda like that feeling, cause like, I've used head and shoulders before and then your head is just like, it feels like there's steam coming off of it.
It's called head and shoulders because it feels like your head and your shoulders are one.
Yeah, yeah.
Kinda numb?
They're all numb.
They're, all of it is numb, it fucking runs down before it gets to his dick. It runs down your shoulders and it just feels...
I don't know how that got in your pee hole, this is one like...
Yeah, also just like pure just gravity, like...
It happens.
Were you just like showering with a boner?
Yeah, is your pee, is your pee hole facing up?
It was just like while I was scrubbing everything, I guess I got brushed and it just went in there.
You were scrubbing and you were scrubbing, you know?
Alright, everyone's having a good time. Do you wanna hear the 18 things?
Where the hell did that come from?
What even was it?
I don't even know! Oh, that's what you were doing earlier. Before we started, he was like, "Oh, I..."
Before we started, he was like, "Oh, I just gotta like fix myself," whatever. And I was like, "Yo, you good over there? Like, what are you doing?"
So you had that, you had that "stroke yourself" bit for like...
He held on to it for fifteen minutes.
Fifteen minutes?
What is that?
I don't know, I just found it in the garbage over there and I decided it'd be funny.
Wha- wha- where is this coming from?
It's coming out of your back?
I don't know, I just found it. And I thought doing some prop comedy would be funny.
Some prop comedy?
Oh my god, he really enjoyed that.
I don't even know what that's from. Are you crying?
I was doing some desk cleaning, I threw that out. I guess you... Did you go through my garbage?
It was right there, it was over there!
In the garbage?
Yeah!
So, you walk around this place and you saw a piece of garbage and you're like, "I have an idea."
It's just phallic enough to look like a wiener.
You know?
And, god almighty, I'm fucking crying. Just kidding, bro.
Loves it.
Did you find the eighteen things?
I found something, yeah.
Is there anything strange?
Well, it could be used... So Frankie's soap that he used as a child...
I... Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Oh, is it now?
I still use it now.
You still have that?
Oh yeah!
Can be used for face, body, hair, uh, bath, shaving, teeth, feet, congestion, dishes...
Hold up, back up, teeth!
Soap for your teeth?
I mean...
Maybe mouth...
Yeah, why can't you?
Wait, you're, you're speedrunning this.
Oh, sorry.
Start from teeth.
Well, I was trying to get to the...
Start from the beginning.
I was trying to do the normal things first.
Face, body, hair.
The bath.
What is, what is the bath? Put it in his bubble bath?
Makes bubble, can make...
Shaving.
Shaving?
It's like a, maybe like an aftershave or something?
Soap?
I don't know!
Teeth?
Teeth! Teeth is insane! I'm gonna brush my teeth with soap?
Teeth. Feet, congestion.
congestion
nah dude I'll tell ya you put a little bit of that under your nose you'll breathe fucking better than you ever have
shoot this thing it's my sinus
and then and then it goes dishes the laundry
the laundry
and then it just goes your floors your general cleaning of the house windows
yeah dude
I can clean my windows and my teeth simultaneously
your windows and your asshole the two cleanest parts in the fucking house
then it goes toilets you could clean produce dogs plants
dogs
and it could keep away ants
it can keep away ants yo what is going on with this thing
this is an outrageous marketing scheme
yo I mean nah dude it's like magic
it's true keep away ants
yo I'm not kidding I'm not kidding some of the shit I like one day like you know when like you like don't go to the bathroom and you don't and you don't have your when you go to the bathroom you don't have your phone on you and you just like read whatever is in like arms reach I read the bottle and it's like this is miracle from god soap that could do anything
oh so they're humble
are you fucking kidding me
yo it's this fucking soap will do everything yo clean your teeth suck your dick keep away the roaches you could put it in your mattress you could sleep on it you could jerk off with it you could eat it taste good
I'm not kidding if you jerk off with this thing you would you would burn the fucking skin off your body
that's great does it have any other uh scents
yes so there's like lavender there's like I think a eucalyptus one
which one are you currently using
uh the last one we haven't used it in like a couple we ran out and we haven't gotten a new one yet but we the lavender one is fucking good
I believe the peppermint one specifically is probably for ants because I know ants hate peppermint like anti ant spray is peppermint sprays I know that
I didn't know that I didn't know that so if we want you to get out of here we're just gonna dump this on you you filthy little and we'll make sure it doesn't get in your pee hole
yeah please
dude they have I'm telling you right now
that's insane
do I'm sure I'm Nicole probably knows about it because she I know she's very like health conscious and like you know stuff like that that is something that you should have in your home
bro I'll tell you this right now love her to death but if she brought this home and was like
Pink Pantheress here. Coach and Spotify are teaming up to bring music and style together, and they want you to be part of it. Grab your friends and head to the Tabby Tour, hitting cities around the country with live performances from special artists, exclusive experiences, and personalized products. And discover custom playlists on Spotify, booked just for you based on who you are and how you listen. Live your story with Coach. Learn more at coach.com.
And it replaced our toothpaste. I'd be like, what are you doing?
I'm not, I didn't know the tooth one. I might try that. I might try it. Why not?
Please brush your teeth with, like, whatever, I mean, the magic soap.
I mean, how, I don't know how you could. What would you, like, mix it in with your toothpaste?
Maybe it's a, just, like a mouthwash, maybe?
But it's not, it's very thin. Like, it's very, like, it's non-viscous. So, like, it's like water.
Yeah. So, you're, it's not like a gel soap.
It's just like pure fucking soap.
It comes out like water?
Yeah, dude. Fucking, pull up a video of this shit or something.
I'll take your word for it.
Pull up a video of soap.
I take your word for it, but that's, okay, so maybe you just, you just soak your-
But they say, like, dilute. Like, if you were to, like, sit in it, I'm sure it probably wouldn't be very good for your skin. You'd get some form of irritation.
You don't have to sit, well, I'm not saying sit in the thing.
But also, like, I'm sure whatever you're cleaning or using it for, it's different levels of dilution. Like, you put, like, a little bit into your, your laundry.
A lot of people swear by that stuff because it's a more natural,
Yeah?
like detergent, soap, cleaner than, like, if you go and buy, no offense to fucking big laundry detergent, but like, what is the blue goop?
Yeah, I have no idea. I mean, I am, I am open to the idea that this works. It's just funny.
That you could, it's, like, teeth and dogs being on the same list as windows. Like.
And your own face and butthole.
It's like outrageous.
And it keeps away insects and pests.
Right, yeah.
I mean, it's, it's not cheap. Like, that bottle right there is probably like.
It said eighteen bucks.
It's, it's not cheap.
That's a lot.
But you don't need a lot. Like, that bottle will last you like two, three months.
Yeah, that could take out a whole ant colony.
Bro, that'll fucking do everything you want. If you, spring cleaning in a single bottle.
You know the jokes that people make of, oh, guy shampoo thirteen in one hair conditioner? You managed to find an eighteen in one.
Eighteen in one is crazy.
That goes out of the bathroom.
Yeah, yeah. Isn't that cool?
Eh, that's something.
It is. It's not, it's not nothing.
Well, the ones that you're referencing is like, it's hair, it's shampoo, conditioner, body wash, aftershave, and fucking, who knows what else in one?
You know what's funny? I don't know if you guys did this when you were younger, but when I was super young, my parents would be like, alright, you gotta go take a shower. So I would take a shower, and then I would come down, and then my dad would be like, "Did you use soap?" And I didn't, but I would lie. I say, "Oh, I use shampoo." And he's like, "What?"
Oh, like you would, you would shower without bathing yourself properly?
I vaguely remember. I wouldn't use soap.
I vaguely remember that, but I, I could, I don't know if that's still a thing?
I don't know why, but I just like, wouldn't use soap. Not all the time, but there'd be times I wouldn't use soap. So every time I'd come out, my dad would be like, "Did you use soap?" And I would be like, "Oh, no."
Well, I'll tell you this.
And then he'd be like, "Get back upstairs and go take a shower." Or I would lie, and I'd be like, "Oh, I use shampoo," which I also didn't do.
So you just walked in, got wet, and walked out?
Yeah, this is when I was like, super young, but I remember it, so I must have been.
I imagine that still does something, though. Like, you wash away, you wash away the stinky.
The sins of.
Dude, maybe, maybe you never washed away your something, and that's why you don't stink under the armpits.
Maybe. It's not that I never did.
That's a great point.
But it was like, it was, I was very young. Like, I was like, under ten while this was happening.
Well, uh, first of all, that's when kids are like, fucking filthy. Like, rolling around in the fucking, literally like, in the dirt and shit like that. Like, that's when you probably need a bath or a shower the most. There is like, kids are. Deathly afraid of like soap and shit like that because it's about getting it, once you get it in your eyes once, you're like terrified.
Yeah, it's the devil.
What, at what age do, like, you like take a bath with your siblings?
Young.
Like, because I, I like remember, I have like a memory of it.
Yeah, yeah, I recently went through a bunch of family pictures and there were pictures there and I said like, we didn't need to take a picture of this. You know?
But like, do you know what age, like, four?
Um, I would say like, four and under, I think around five, it gets a little.
Like you gotta start separating.
Yeah, like, it gets a little weird.
Yeah, but I, I have a memory of like, I think I've told this story before, but like, I was in the bath with Keith and he laughed and a giant blood clot came out of his nose. Like, it was just like this and I was like, and I think we all screamed.
Yeah, I, I, I, I think that, uh, kids are just afraid of soap because of like the thought of it getting in their eye. And there was so much when we were kids, soap like marketed at us as like tear free. You know, like remember the ones that came in like, it was like the L'Oréal, the fish?
You know, and then they had the ones, I don't remember what they were called, but they were like bars of soap that were in like a mesh pocket?
Yes!
Forgot those, forgot what they were called.
Oh, that was a good one. The tear free, I think they still, they still probably do.
Bro, I love the like Johnson and Johnson, like gold baby shampoo is the best smelling, one of the best smells on the planet.
Yeah, I don't know that one.
I got head and shoulders in my eyes yesterday.
See, you have to stop, you have to stop with the pausing.
I got head and, uh.
Head and shoulders in my eyes yesterday, that hurt.
Are you head and shouldering every day?
I guess it's just inside of me.
What?
He's asking if you're using it every day.
You haven't said anything on this episode that you can't, like, that isn't sexual?
I, oh, yeah, that's a good point.
Um, you use Head and Shoulders every day?
A lot, yeah.
I mean, you probably should.
You should, didn't.
No, you're not supposed to, but I do.
No, you're supposed to use it very regularly. I went, I like sat through like a presentation from them once.
You sat through a presentation of Head and Shoulders?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He did, he did, he did it too. He paused a little bit after Head.
Did I?
Yeah, you did.
Oh, oh.
I was like, I wasn't at the presentation?
I did, I did a deal with them.
And they were just like, it was like at a football game. It was at a Giants game and they were just like, "Our Head and Shoulders guy is here.
So, we're gonna like, teach you guys about it." And, and it was honestly like insightful, like I can't say anything bad about it.
I thought it was like, um, not medical grade, but it's like above shampoo. In a way of like, if you're dealing with dandruff, use this.
Well, to my understanding, it's actually meant to be more, and I should probably contact my Head and Shoulders Connect and see if they can give us more accurate info. But like, it's meant to be more preventative than it is to like,
Ah.
Deal with it. So like, they say that you're supposed to use it regularly because it's like, it kills a certain bacteria that creates dandruff on your scalp or something like that. I, I thought it was interesting, you know, but like-
I'll throw it on every now and again.
If I don't use it for, like, if I use different shampoo for a few days, like, I'll get dandruff bad back.
But do you, do you, uh, shampoo and conditioner? Like, do you condition your hair?
I don't condition.
Well, I think that's a problem.
I don't, I don't.
It makes my hair flat.
Well, first of all, conditioner is not supposed to be used on the whole head. It's only supposed to be used on like-
On your hair.
End of the hair.
But that's not where dandruff comes from. Dandruff comes from the scalp.
I know, but if, I'm assuming that if you have like, dry hair, that it has some sort of effect.
But the, I don't think the hair matters, it's the scalp.
The hair is connected to the scalp.
Yeah, but like you're, when you're, when you're doing, to my understanding, when you're doing like, my hair's not long enough right now, but like, the conditioner is supposed to be used on like the outer part of the hair, in theory, it's not really supposed to get on your scalp.
Well, I'm saying like if, but if, but if you don't condition your hair, right, and it, and it gets a little dry, or if you have that type of hair that does get dry, I would think that the thing that is coming out of your head would have some sort of effect on the moisture of, I don't know.
No, but the, we're all guessing. The issue of dandruff is at the base of your hair, like on your scalp, so if you're conditioning your hair, you're not attacking the, the issue.
No, I understand what you're saying. I, I mean, I just, I just don't know.
Is it bad? I didn't know that conditioner was only for the tips?
I didn't, I didn't, I learned that late in life, too.
I don't know that that's like a gigantic issue.
Oh, okay.
I mean, I don't know.
I, I learned that late in life as well.
I, I have, not recently, but when I was younger, I would condition my pubes.
Hell, yeah. Yeah.
Just cause.
Now we're getting, now we're getting somewhere. I was like, I would just condition these, let's get these more.
Can you show us how you would do it?
No. Um, I would just be like, you know what, I'll just like get these things going so they're nice and silky smooth, but we do have some sponsors.
Oh, we're going from silky smooth pubes to our sponsors.
Yeah, uh, we do have some. The first one being Zocdoc.
So Zocdoc is a, um, a free app or website that helps you find and book high quality network doctors, so you can find someone that you love, okay? Before they were sponsored on the show, I used to use Zocdoc. I mean, I still use them. If I, I had to go to the dermatologist and I plug in my health insurance, and then I get a list of doctors in my area, which ones are closest to me and what their rating is, they're patient reviewed out of five, and what their next available appointments are. I was able to get an appointment that afternoon at that time. But sometimes it's usually within 48 hours that you can get an appointment. So it's very helpful in finding doctors in your area that take your insurance. So it's very helpful for that. So don't put up, don't put off any of your doctor's appointments anymore.
Uh, you know, whether, for whatever you need. If you want a primary care physician, or you want a dermatologist, or some sort of specialist, you can do that. But yeah, just go to zocdoc.com/basement to get started and find and instantly book a doctor you love today. That's Z O C D O C dot com slash basement. All right. Zocdoc.com slash basement. Go get to it, folks. And we also have Wayfair, okay? Wayfair, they make furniture. They have every style, every outdoor space, um, whether your vibe is like modern, or coastal, or farmhouse, or whatever else these things are. They have a bunch of furniture, affordable stuff too, that is within budget.
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Patreon.com slash the basement yard. Listen, I'm not here to mess around right now, okay? I'm strictly business Frank. You wanted business Frank? You got business Frank. Let me take off my Frank hat and put on my business hat. Uh, listen, I don't know if you want more of us in your life. I hope you do, because we love having you in our life. The love and support you've given us has been overwhelming and we appreciate it. And one of the best ways to love and support us, support really, the love you could do on your own time. Uh, Patreon.com slash the basement yard. You go over, check out, it's our exclusive stuff we got over there. You sign up for that first here, you get these weekly episodes, one whole week in advance, seven whole days. So when you're scrolling on social media and you say, whoa, that's a clip, what episode is that from? And someone's like, oh, it's Patreon exclusive. You, you could know that, you could see that. If you're on that first tier, or that second tier, not only do you get the benefits of that first tier,
but then you get exclusive episodes every single Friday, and I'll tell you right now, they get crazy, okay? On the last one, Ant was bending over the table, and we were spanking him with stuff, it was kind of all out of control. I'm kidding, we didn't do that, he asked us not to put that in the episode, so, go check it out, patreon.com/thebasementyard. You guys have been unbelievably overwhelmingly supportive, and we are so lucky and so appreciative, and we want to keep giving you more of what you guys like, which, according to you, is us, so, we want to give that to you. So, go to patreon.com/thebasementyard, and if you want to save yourself some money while you're doing it, go check it out on a web browser, okay? If you use the app, whether it be from the Google Play Store, or from the, you know, App Store on iPhones, they're gonna take some extra money from you, just because they gotta pay the lizard tech overlords.
So, go on a web browser, go to patreon.com/thebasementyard, you'll save yourself some money if you want to sign up, and, you know, uh, uh, uh, Mother's Day is coming up, Father's Day is coming up, graduations are coming up, there's, you know, you can give it as a gift as well, so, patreon.com/thebasementyard, thank you so much. Let's keep rockin' and rollin', back to you, Joe.
Let's keep rockin' and rollin'?
Yeah, well, what's wrong with that?
I don't know.
You don't like to rock and/or roll?
It's kind of a... What is rock and roll? Like, I got the rock.
No, but why is that what they call the music?
But like, yeah, I mean, whatever.
Because you rock and roll to it.
Where's the rolling?
Like, you roll on the floor, like, they were used, they used, that music came along, and they used to, like, trip to it, you know what I mean?
I guess.
So, they would be like, whoa, and then they'd, like, fall over themselves?
You know what, uh, what dance move white people love?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I fucking, I don't hate it.
Boomers love that.
I don't hate, well, because the boomers were like, you know, in their, like, 30s or 20s in the 70s, and that's when that was big, because it would be like this, and then every now and then, they'd throw in a... Yeah, oh my god.
My mom's a big pointer. She likes to point. She's always like,
There is,
What are you pointing at, Biz?
I one time came across a TikTok and it's like, Someone, their whole account is just dedicated to like dancing like a middle aged white woman at a party.
And it's just that. It's just like, you know, just all that while they have a, Yeah, yes. Who taught white boomer women in America to dance with pointing?
Also, uh, when they clap at weddings, I've noticed that that, that generation, they clap, but the fingers are out.
Like Nicole Kidman? Do you remember her clapping?
Yeah, she's got hands like the Grinch.
Brother, she clapped and her fingers were behind her ears.
I was like, yo, pull, see if you could find that clip.
I'll try. She clapped and it was like, It was like the Grinch's fingers. You know what I'm talking about?
Like they curled backwards or something.
Thing. She was like double, triple jointed.
I, yeah, and like, that was also like how they like danced suggestively in like the seventies. They'd be like,
And then they'd do the point at themselves.
Come over here.
Come over here, point at you, point at me, and you in here.
You, have you ever, Have you ever, um, you know in movies where there's that moment where you're kind of like, at a place, then you lock eyes with someone across the room, and then everything kind of like gets out of the way, and then you make your way over? Have you ever done that in real life?
I mean, I, I think I've done it with Becca, but like, not like to the point-
No, no, no, I'm talking about like-
Where it's like, it's no one and I just like-
Yeah, it's not a person you know, it's just a person.
No, I, I, I, when we were like, of like, dancing-
Club age?
Club age, like, it was, I was always like, "Do you wanna dance?" I always made it a specific point to ask.
Well, that's what I mean, like, if you saw someone, you'd be like, "Ooh," and then you walk over and then you kinda ask.
You like, you get here and then you're in it already?
No, no, no, I'm saying you're in a place, right? And you see this girl across, and you guys kinda make eye contact, and then you're like, you're looking and it's like, "Oh, we are staring at each other," so it's like, "I'm gonna go over there." And then like, it feels like everyone's kinda moving out the way. And then you make your way over and you're like, "Hello."
Oh, like you're in some Truman Show shit, like, everyone's just like, "Alright, they've made contact, everyone back up."
Yeah, something like that. I feel like that happens in movies.
The only time I think it was ever, like, when I danced with that old broad at the fucking wedding I went to.
There's gotta be a better way to say that.
Uh, uh, I don't know, if this is real and not edited, these are long fingers.
This has to be- I think it is real, cuz when it happened at first, everyone was just like, "Yo."
Oh my god!
Bro, her hands, like, it looks like she's clapping- Like, it looks like two Venn diagrams are meeting in the middle.
Dude, I don't even, I don't even think I could do-
She's like-
It looks like the Zodiac sign for Pisces.
It looks like when you, like, those like, Newton balls on the string are like, hitting each other.
Listen, no, no disrespect to Nicole Kidman, but if that's real, you got long fingers. Also, the Instagram-
The Instagram handle.
Oh, I didn't vet that, sorry.
There are gay animals, you know that, right? Yes, penguins are gay.
Not all of them.
Not all, I'm not saying all them, but-
Yo, do you guys know about the penguin? The, the lone penguin?
We talked about it on this episode.
Oh, that was here?
Yeah, we talked about it, yeah, you've heard this, no?
Bro, you know the lone penguin?
Bro, there were like-
Long? Lone.
There was, like, at this zoo, I think it was in Australia or somewhere, there was-
No, it wasn't zoo. Wait, what are you talking about?
Like, the gay-
No, that's not what I'm talking about.
Oh, wait, what are you talking about?
Nothing gay, nothing gay.
Oh, mine had gay penguins.
No, no, I know the gay.
Yeah, the gay one.
But this, no, this is like, the, um, type in like, look at, don't- Sorry, dumb gay penguin. Type in, uh-
Lone Penguin walking away, just do that.
Lone Penguin walking away.
Just Penguin walking away. Walking to mountain, yeah, yeah, do that, do that, do that, do that.
Where'd you see mountain?
I mean, I mean, you gotta back up. Are you type like you're a thousand years old looking down at the thing?
It's over there, it's over there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
This one? What do you need?
A Werner Herzog one? That's gonna blow the fucking...
I mean, let's not play the, the audio here, but just go to the images, it's fine.
There is a Penguin, and he is walking away.
So, this is, so all the way to the right, you see all the way to the right? Click that. So that, I mean, I guess these are all like photos, but there's a video of this. Of a Penguin who's just taking off for the mountains.
Just doing its thing?
Doesn't give a fart?
And, look, look, look.
Where is that, Japan?
He like, I don't know, but he broke away from the pack and he was just going for it. And then people turned it into this thing that's like... The Penguin obviously is never gonna survive without the colony if he goes for the mountains, but he just like desperately... He's, he's after something more.
Motivation like, chase your dreams.
Something like that, and it's like, but why? And like all this stuff and, and, and, you know, it's, it's supposed, it's... The interpretation is this very motivational.
Look nihilist, nu, nu, up, uh, nihilist?
I don't, I don't know what that word means.
Penguin mean, like...
But then I, so I watched a video on this and it was so moving and the music was just like incredibly motivating and all this stuff. And the, the explanation and the interpretation of what was happening was, was like, you know, uh, moving. And then, in the comments, there was someone being like, yeah, um, what actually is happening? Is that there's something going on in this Penguin's brain? And it's like basically going off to like, hell, it's, huh?
Oh, no.
Like, not that it's gonna go and grab a gun.
I was looking at it, I was just like, it's running like the kids from Weapons, you know?
Well, that's how they kinda run.
Penguins are so cute.
Penguins are cute, we were talking about the, we were referencing the one where it was like a story of like two male Penguins got together and they were like, they're soulmates and stuff like that. And then one of them died? And like the Penguin like... Crew like in solidarity for this morning gay penguin like sang a song for it.
It's beautiful.
It is pretty, pretty touching.
Do you know penguins, they like take rocks and they put rocks in front of the female?
Well, penguins are one of the few animals that like mate for life. It's like penguins, lobsters.
Mate for life?
Yeah, like they-
What does that mean?
Like they're like, yo, this is my-
Oh, oh, oh.
This is my penguin lady, or guy.
Oh, they're loyal, you mean? They're monogamous?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think lobsters are like that too, you know?
Why would-
I don't, I don't fucking make up the rules here. The fuck you attacking me?
Why are they monogamous?
I don't know why. I mean, but like, look at lions. Lions will like go in, fuck someone, be like, I'm gonna- Everyone here is getting it.
I think gorillas are like that too. It's like, yo, I'm the biggest one, I beat up everyone else, so everyone's getting it.
Yeah, and then I was at the zoo and I, I read a thing that was just like, if a fucking like new lion comes into the pack, they'll like, if there are any cubs, they'll fight the, the head of the pack, or pride, or whatever they're called, fuck them up, kill them, and then if they had any cubs, they'll take them out too.
And it's like, yo, this is fucking, this is some crazy shit, dude.
Lobsters do not mate for life.
No, there, it's, they do serial monogamy where it's like, kinda like the lions, where there's a bunch of females and they-
Oh, so he's like, yo, I get my eight, but I'll keep it.
Oh, so he's like Mormon wives shit?
Sure.
Like sister wives and this shit.
But, yeah.
And this shit.
Because I remember something, like they lay so many eggs and they have to, either way.
I mean, no, no, I'm not, I am, I, that was what was like a thing, like you've never heard like people on like, remember like those old like Tumblr coded things where it's just like, you're my lobster, because lobsters are, they mate for life or some shit. I guess I'm a fucking idiot and I just bought into it.
I'll tell you what, you know what? Uh, termites, termites mate for life.
Yeah, they can go and die.
Isn't that surprising?
Termi- termites can go and fucking die. I know they're, I know they're important to like the ecosystem.
I don't think they are.
Bro, so, hold on.
They definitely are.
I just found this penguin thing, right? Listen to the song.
So it's just like that, right? And then this is what the caption is. It says, "In 2007"
Werner Herzog
Oh yeah, Werner Herzog Filmed a lone penguin breaking away from his colony. Instead of heading to the sea to feed, he turned toward the interior of Antarctica, a 70-kilometer death march towards the mountains. Science calls this disoriented. Biology calls it a mistake. But perhaps this is the same mistake that drove our ancestors out of the caves. The earth to discover is a dangerous one. It defies the logic of survival. It demands that you leave the safety of the crowd to pursue a mountain that only you can see. Civilization wasn't built by those who stayed at the feeding grounds. It was built by those who asked, "What is over there, regardless of the cost?" If you feel the pull of the unknown, you aren't broken. You are just one of the few heading for the mountains.
You were having a very self-reflective day that day.
Why?
I mean, like, I could see you just being like, thinking back on Santa Gato Studios and, you know, everything. And like, "I'm the penguin."
No, no. I just think that's like a...
That's not a bad thing. I mean, it does apply to your life. Like, you did do that.
I kinda just think it was a dumb penguin, maybe.
But also...
Well, that's what the comments eventually went to, like, which I... It was just funny. The comedy in it is that you read that and you're like, "Wow, that's so cool." And then you read the comments, and someone's like, "While that explanation is poetic, science suggests the penguin isn't actually trying to end its life, but its internal GPS is basically broken. This happens because of brain injuries, sickness, or parasites that mess with their navigation. The penguin thinks it's headed towards the water, but its broken compass is actually leading it the wrong way, and its instincts are too stubborn to turn back."
Yeah, I mean, it's also like...
Like, just let it go!
I mean, it's also... It helps, like, you reading it doesn't do it justice. When you have fucking, German-ass Werner Herzog, and he's just like, "This penguin is going to discover." You know, like, that shit sounds cool.
Yeah. It's kinda like, you remember the angler fish? Where they're like, "Oh, it never saw light, and it desperately wanted to see light." You don't remember that?
We talked about it.
The little one?
That has like, the light?
I know what you're talking about!
Oh, and you didn't see it?
Oh, is that like, the evolutionary, like, evolutionarily, like, evolutionary explanation for it? Like, it didn't see light, so it wanted to? So it made its own light?
Something like, I don't know, but... It was like, all this thing lived in the dark, and it just wanted to see the light before it died, 'cause it died. But there's a...
There's a comment that's good.
There's a comment, and it's an AI photo of the penguin walking with Jesus, and it says, "He was not alone."
I don't know, this is funny.
Alright, I mean...
"He was not alone." "God walked with that penguin that had the parasite in his head."
No, Jesus.
That's what I meant.
This guy doesn't even know his own hierarchy of deities.
People are getting deep in the, in the comments. One person posted a photo of a random person looking at the stars, and it said, "Should I go left where..."
Nothing is right or right where nothing is left.
Damn, honestly, that kinda hits. That kinda fucking hits.
Whoa!
I'm not gonna...
What was it? Should I go left where nothing is right? Or go right where nothing is left?
I, I have to, like, once a week, if not once every other week, my TikTok algorithm turns into that, where it's all just, like, emotional, motivating. A lot of it is also like-
Thought provoking things?
Letters to my wife, and it's just like, "You are my home," and stuff like that. So like, I need to, like, I'll do that, and then I'll reset it back to, like, The Sopranos, or, you know, people.
Because, like, I get too emotional with that stuff.
You know, like, I think I said recently on this show, like, it was, like, for a while, it was videos of, like, people giving little kids baseballs at baseball games.
And like, that shit fucking, it punches me in the chest. So like, I have to, like, come back down and just be like, alright, this, this can't be, like, sappy stuff. I need to laugh every now and then, because if I just get sad and cry, it's not gonna be good for me.
You know, you wanna hear something cute that I'm like, "This is such a great tradition," but- Like Gio, when he goes to hockey games, he'll immediately before we go to the seats, he goes to the store and he buys a puck and he gives it to a kid. That he just sees the kids and he gives them like a little kid, I give them.
Yeah dude.
And so now, but like he kind of like it has included us in that. So he'll go and get three pucks for like me and Espo and we just give them out to kids.
Dude, when I I know, like I said this, when I went to the the Pokemon card show, like I was talking with my brothers and I found myself, I wasn't getting emotional, but like I was getting worked up. Also had a drink or two and I was saying like.
Fresh off that peppermint shampoo.
Yeah, the peppermint shampoo and a fucking and like like two Guinness. No, I said like, stuff like that, like. I have like issues with like the whole like Pokemon card collecting like world right now because it is in theory, as it is bigger now than it ever has been, it is kind of gatekeeping its fandom. Like you're putting these cool cards that are meant to be for kids and accessible and there are hundreds, if not millions of dollars, hundreds of thousands of dollars and shit like that, like. It so like what we what my brothers and I did is we bought packs and we were going around and like
we saw like there were like two kids sitting on the floor and they were having fun like looking at their binders and shit like that. And we gave it to like, so shit like that with the pucks. Bro, that fucking gets me, man. Like, I'm not even kidding. It gets me emotional because it's the stuff like you are in theory. Something that was emotional and and happy and brought you joy. You're just trying to give that to somebody else. Like in that moment, it's not about what you're giving them. It's about the memory and the feeling and that's fucking incredible.
Especially when I was like young, I mean, I would barely go to games, but if I caught a foul ball, dude, that would be like the highlight of my life.
Dude, have you ever caught, oh, you have caught a ball? I've caught home runs. I know. So I caught two balls in one game that I remember. Maybe there were other ones that I don't, but.
Two in one game?
Two in one game. So we were sitting, it was Yankees at the time, Indians. And.
And I was sitting behind the bullpen and we, you know, like the kids are leaning over the bullpen and Mariano Rivera threw a ball up. And I, it like rolled around and I grabbed it and I had, I still to this day have it and I couldn't believe it, bro. I was, I was.
Yeah, Mo threw you a ball?
Mo gave me a ball. Also, you got me that Mo ball. That's cool. Um, because like he held that, you know what I mean?
Um, and then at the end of the game, the game ended with a pop out to center field. Johnny Damon caught it. And he turned around and he threw it and brother, I was looking at the person next to me talking to him and it landed in my lap. In my fucking lap and I.
Did you bring the ball?
Yo, and I gave it to our, like a, not like a friend friend, but like we know him through like friends and stuff like that, the neighborhood. Gave it to his little brother as like a, you can have this.
I was told a week later, he like drew on it and ripped it up and shit like that.
Ripped up a baseball? What is he, like a?
I mean, just basically like playing catch with it and shit like that on the pavement, you know?
Good lord.
But yeah, so like that was fucking cool. I also.
What was the moral of that story?
It goes against what I'm saying in my current. But like at the time, I was just like.
Don't give them, don't give kids.
Yeah, at that age, I was like, I'm the little kid here. Give it to me.
You know, but, and then I got one when we went to the Padres game.
That's all right.
I was, all I wanted was a ball, but.
Oh, yeah.
At the Padres game, they were, they would get the balls afterwards and then the kid would just like sit with them or whatever. And Frank's like, I'm gonna try and get a ball. He's wearing a bucket hat. He has a blue tongue because he just ate an ungodly amount of cotton candy. I was like, I think they're gonna give you one.
Well, no, because it's a different thing now. If you go to any like baseball game, every one of those balls.
They're tagged.
They're tagged and they're sold in the store and then you can scan a QR code and it'll tell you all the pitches it's used for, what happened with it, yada, yada, yada.
Oh, that's kinda cool.
Yeah. And so like, I thought like, there's no way they're gonna give me a ball now because they're just gonna lose money.
I got the ball, brother.
Hey, you gotta ask.
And you remember what I did with that ball?
Nope.
You don't remember?
Kept it. It's mine. No little kids getting that ball.
Oh, yeah. I was like, I feel like you kept it, but I don't know if you did something. Did you, do you get them like framed?
You just have them?
Yeah. It might, well, that one is in a bin.
I still have my first pitch ball.
Oh, yeah, I still have that.
I still have that from both of them, from the Bowie Base Ops.
Yeah, I mean, I assume you have everything that we've ever had.
Anything.
Yeah, I do.
You must have like a random bin with like the most random stuff in it.
Oh, yeah. I mean, we did an episode years ago, like when I first joined, where we like went through our childhood items and just brought random things in.
Yeah, but so with the tour, you would take a lot of stuff.
Yes, I would.
So with the, with the, with that bin.
Yup.
If I opened it and went through it, what, four bins?
Four bins.
Good lord. So if I went through these bins, would there be stuff in there that I'm like, what even is that?
Yes, yes.
Like, is it like a four, oh, this is the first place we ate, like a fork or something?
No, no, no, no, I didn't get to that, that level. I mean, I have shirts and hoodies.
I have the, you know, a pair of the socks that we had, I have some stuff that some fans gave us, you know. There was one in particular, I know I told you this, where like, it was from a, like, an indigenous tribe at.
It was a.
In like the Vancouver area.
What's that called? Dreamcatcher?
But it was also a ring.
And I was just like, I can't get rid of this because I, I don't want to like.
Disrupt a spirit.
Yeah, there's some stuff, I could, I could bring one or two of them in and, and we can go through them and, and talk about them if you want.
Frank's bins. And you got, and you also have like your jars.
I have jars, yeah, yeah. I, I get it. I know I'm a pro. I have, um, of what?
Yeah, I guess that's a good question, too. I mean, what's, what do you think is your strangest jar?
Jars, for anyone listening, he keeps a lot of stuff in jars, so he'll collect like matchboxes.
Matt, well, yeah, matchboxes back at night, anywhere we go, whether together or individually, we try to get a matchbox to bring home. Uh, cigar wrappers, that's a big one.
You could, oh, there's a jar for that?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay. Rappers?
Yeah, like, yeah, like the-
The ring around the- I know, like, what, what-
I'm not, I'm not, I haven't smoked a cigar in how long and sometimes there are some that I had that I just didn't keep, cause whatever.
Well, the matchboxes, right, I don't mean to dissect this, but the, the matchboxes, they have like the names of the restaurant on them usually and-
Sometimes, yeah.
So you could kinda like, piggyback off that and, oh, I remember, cigar wrappers, like, how do you-
It's more of like, this is just the cigar, it's not like I wrote on them like, January 44th, you know?
Smoked it with my-
Father-in-law.
And we talked about politics.
Yeah, I didn't- Yeah, no, I de- I definitely haven't done anything like that.
But you used to collect bottles, you remember that?
When we were in high school, let's make sure you ve- you very specifically say that, yes.
Well, yeah, I mean, I think everyone did that, at a certain point.
We had on my, so like, the way that like my childhood bedroom was, from like, high school, it was like, there was like a windowsill, and it was lined with empty bottles of Absolut, Patron-
Some of the grossest alcohol you could, uh-
You know? Yeah, like a big bottle of Patron.
And at the end of the night, we'd be like, we finish this bottle, everyone sign it, and I would keep it and keep it in my room.
I remember-
You still have those?
No, those are all gone.
All of them are gone. I thank God.
Alright, I mean-
Can you imagine-
If you still had the bottles?
If Becca and I moved into a, a, a home together and she, I was just like, I need to figure out where to put my bottles.
Oh, I mean, I wouldn't respect you.
But I, I would, I am shocked that you got rid of them, like, I think it's okay to keep that, like, if you're storing it.
Well, you know how I am, like, I, I'll keep them, I'll keep them, and then at a certain point, I was just like, it's not cool or funny to have a bottle of vodka from-
From 2010, you know what I mean? You guys, I remember, the only thing that I remember you keeping was like, you bought an original Four Loko and had it for years.
Uh, that was accidental. Uh, it just, I found it and I was like, oh, this is an OG.
And then you kept, do you still have it, or is it long gone?
No, no.
Do you have anything?
Not that your parents kept, that you kept.
Um, yeah, I have stuff, but like, not a lot.
Podcast, we talk.
I mean, I mean, I told you, I keep funeral cards because I'm afraid to throw them out.
Because I'm like, oh, now I'm gonna kill them.
I have those, yes, yes.
So I can't, I can't do that. I've misplaced some of those. I have all the Polaroids from my first apartment where everyone had to take those.
Oh shit, yeah.
Yeah, so I have all those.
And, what?
I remember the picture I took.
Yeah, Frank was naked, wearing a, uh, a WWE belt around his waist.
Well, it was lower than my waist. Let's, let's put, let's point that out.
Yeah, yeah, it was covering the, his thing. Uh, but yeah. I actually was, you know what's funny about that? I have, so I have all those pictures. And the first time I met Becca, she was at my apartment, so she's on there. And I was going to put that in your, like, wedding card.
Gotcha.
Because I, I still have it, but I mean, it's in my nightstand somewhere or some shit. But now they're all fucked up because they were all like taped. So I would put them on top of each other, so some of them like ripped.
Yeah, that sucks.
So I don't know which ones are ruined, but.
I recently went through, my brother, uh, came over a couple of weeks ago and he showed up with two, like a to- a giant storage bin. And he's like, oh, when mom moved, she, I took all the pictures. So these are all of our family pictures. And I went through, there were some of you in there. Did I, I think I sent, I think I sent you some, did I send them to you? No.
You, we talked about something. You were like, oh, guess what picture I found, but I forgot what it was.
Yeah, don't remember, but there were some of you, like, we went to like a pre-K trip.
That's what it was. You were like, I picked up the first picture? Who was in the picture?
Yes, yo, yes. Shane Gorman again. Yo, I'm not kidding. I opened the bin and I look at a picture and it's, it, and like, the only one of Shane.
And I, I.
I wonder if when that episode comes out, because it hasn't come out yet since we're recording this, if he'll reach out. Will we make contact with the Gorman family again? Was it a sister's name? First of all, we're going.
Yeah, we're, come on, we're getting out of control. We're getting out of control. You want me to give the mom's name too?
They were cool as fuck, dude. I remember like being like super cool with him and he was, he was a little crazy at times.
I remember his dad was a lefty.
I look at this, that was the first Lefty that I had met in my life. I was like, this guy's so cool, he throws Lefty.
I remember, like, his dad looked like the, like, when you would picture, like, a musician that, like, grew up on the west coast.
Like, long wiry hair.
I thought it was like curly.
I don't remember curls, but like, was like, "Yeah, man," you know, like, that's what they both looked and reminded me of.
I do remember one time Shane getting in so much trouble at my house that his parents took him upstairs in my mom's bathroom and made him eat soap. Like, I, I remember that vividly, and I don't know what he said.
Yeah, I mean-
He was also like, "A nightmare."
He was a kid. He was a kid, that's for sure. He was definitely like a little nuts.
Him and Keith were like psychos.
I remember, uh, cause he lived around the block from you.
And I remember going there and they had this dog named Molly, or Dolly, I think it was Dolly.
I remember.
And it was like a big white, almost like, looked like a, a big doodle, you know, um, and this fucking poor dog, man, like, you know, having to like run back and forth with Shane because he was a bit of a psychopath and like, you know. It was so weird, like-
Everything we went through with O's, everything we went through, like, it was traumatic. I mean, honestly, I almost got sick.
Yep.
So, I don't know if we said, I don't know, have we spoken about what happened immediately after we finished recording?
Oh, with you?
Yeah, hold on, let me get to the ads and then we'll talk about-
Get to the ads, yeah.
We'll talk about the trick that he did to Ant. Um, this is a good little cliffhanger we're leaving people on here.
Say something- Stay tuned. Say something nasty and naughty.
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$50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. That is the code basement to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. PrizePicks, a preferred partner of the NBA. Boom. Um, alright, so, obviously you guys at this point have seen the episode that we do with Oz. And we recorded that, mind blowing, whatever. I stepped away for a second just to get like some water and like, figure out my life.
Not pass out.
And I, I come back and, and Ant has his phone like this. And he's in a defense position and, and he, and he's over here. And then he goes, he's like, alright, Ant, think of a globe, right? I don't know if you appreciate me like paraphrasing his trick. But he's like, think of a globe, spin the globe, and then you put your finger on a place. What, what we, like, and then he, he's like, type it into Google, right?
Mental globe, by the way. There was no globe. It's like, essentially just, think of a place on the entire world.
Yeah. And then he was like, type it into Google, but don't, press send.
And then he goes, okay, delete that. Well, first he goes, would they guess it? And Ant's like, probably not. And he goes, alright, if you're not 100% sure, think of a different one.
He goes, delete it, think of a different one. Now, Ant is, Ant, Oz and I are standing here, basically.
And he's over, and Ant's over there, I'm far.
And Ant is like, maybe 25 feet away.
He, he could not see my phone. And I was making sure,
he could not.
Like, he, and he could not see, he didn't touch any, he was standing here.
You were over there. And then he goes, okay, and he looks at me and he grabs his whiteboard. And he goes, this is the second place that you typed in, right?
Yeah, and he goes, go to images.
And then he's like, look at images, look at the first image. He's like, now, now picture that. And then he starts writing on his little, once he said images, I'm like,
You're, you literally said you're cooked.
I'm like, yo, you're fucked. He's got you.
So, I had to pick a spot on the globe. I got it. He said, alright, get rid of that. I had to pick another spot on a whim, and I got it. And then, he, he told me to show you.
And then I looked at it.
And you looked at it. Again, he couldn't see anything. And then he asked me to go to images, like just the pictures of the place.
And then he wrote down.
Well, then he was goes, he goes, say the, he's like, say the pla, oh, no, he was like, when you go to images, what was the first thing you saw? He was like, pyramids. Turns the thing around, he had drawn three pyramids.
And then, we're like, what the fuck? How did he do that? He goes, oh, by the way, your first one, Madagascar.
Yo, we were, yo, I, we couldn't, I, I like, Ant was just, and I knew you were fucked, because you went, I guess you went, "Okay, now, hold on."
You like, immediately went, like, what you guys don't see about Ant is like, when we're not recording, he's very like, I consider you very analytical, like, you're trying to understand things, and like, break things down, and so like, how they work. And you immediately went into like, "Hold on a second." You couldn't physically comprehend.
He immediately turned into the thinker, he was like, "Hold on."
Yeah, yo, seriously.
Let me figure this out.
And, yo, legit, there were comments on some of those clips, that were just like, "This is acting, this is staged."
Not at all.
If you trust us for nothing else.
Trust us for the fact that, we, me, if not Joey, I would have been like,
"Gotcha, you didn't do it." I couldn't fucking believe it.
Well, I honestly had so much anxiety, because I was like, "Th- this is gonna be so weird if, if he, if it doesn't work."
So I was so nervous the whole time, that it wouldn't work, and then once it, once he did the first trick, then I was like, "What is happening now?"
Bro, I was sitting there, and, and I, I really genuinely had like, like, like it felt like I was experiencing nausea. Because I was worried, like, "Yo, there's no way this kid's gonna know Shane Gorman."
That's crazy.
And like, there's no way that like, not only that, he got you to think of that person.
I was thinking of him.
And like, cuz he said at the beginning of it too, like, "Alright, I'm gonna get, I'm gonna see if I can get both of you guys to think of this person." And like-
Did he say that? I thought, I, like, I was doing it, because he was asking you, "Think of someone that you haven't seen in a while," and I was like, "Trying to think of who you would think of."
Bro, I was thinking, like, uh, uh, uh, I don't know, I don't know, I do not know. But then like, I'm sitting there, and I'm like worried, like, "Yo, there's no way he's gonna come up with Shane Gorman," like, that's such a, like, you, who have you? Gorman?
I don't know, man.
Dude couldn't, I was, like-
I did see comments, like, "These guys are actors."
I was like, "Bro, I thank you for the compliment, for thinking I can do that."
Yeah, and also-
Where's my fucking Oscar? Because if that was, if that was acting, we deserved to be recognized because boy, oh, boy, we were fucked.
That was crazy. But the fact that he got Madagascar.
He got Madagascar and Egypt. But I'll tell you what, as soon as he said, "Take out your phone," I went, "Oh, here we go." He wants to do one, he wants to do magic on me, so I don't want it.
Was that your first time being magicked upon?
No, when I was younger, a magician, I don't think Oz would consider this guy the same. It was like a table magician.
He stole my watch. One of those.
Oh, you're like, pickpocket. I've seen, I've seen those people that'll just like, they put their arm around them and then they just like slowly take it off.
Fully took my watch. Had, I had no idea. I went, "Don't do that."
I, I like that.
Pickpockets?
I like watch YouTube videos because there was a time where I was like, "I want to pickpocket."
One more time.
Pit? Pick?
No, no, no, I'm not, the, the pronunciation of that is not what I'm harping on. It's the fact that you wanted to aspire to be, you probably watched Ocean's Eleven, that's what it was.
I mean, I definitely enjoyed that.
If I could, if I could knock off a casino, come on.
You're like, "Damn, Matt Damon got it going on."
Yeah, dude.
I, I can't, I've seen those videos, and again, I'm, I'm one of those people that's just like, I'm not going to believe it until it happens to me. And low and behold, Oz did his thing.
Yeah, it's kind of out, like, it's wild when it happens to you because you're like, you, it's hard to, because then you see the comments and you're like, "This is funny." Also, I did see some comments being like, "This is dark magic." He's a demon, I'm like, "All right."
There's an explanation. Becca, she goes, "That's cool, but there's some darkness there." And I'm like, "What are you saying?" And she's like, also, she said to me, she's like, "He grabbed your hand and said he took your soul." That felt like, I don't know. I was like, "Babe, come on." And then she goes, "Are you sure?"
Well, he also openly is like, "I'm not doing magic." I'm, I'm doing like, uh, like, clearly there's an explanation for the thing I'm doing. It's not supernatural.
I mean, I
It feels supernatural.
I, I, I can't even begin to explain the experience, but like, yeah, Becca was one of those people that was just like, "It's a little dark."
You know, and then she said later, she's like, "He touched your hand. Did he feel something because he knew that you thought Rafael Nadal was handsome?" I was like, "What do you mean?" She's like, "You know, you just let me know."
It was written on your hand.
Yeah, like, "In my head, like, figured out I'm secretly gay."
For Rafael Nadal.
Of all people. I mean, he's not a bad-looking guy.
During the US Open, I am. Frankie's secret.
Yes. No, don't do that. Don't do that.
He's writing it down.
Because I know you typed out, you write down these time codes. My god. No, that was, that was incredible. I mean...
I love magic, man. Damn shit. What, what else can we get in here?
I mean, we have to get, we've gotten a doctor.
We've gotten, oh, is it mentalist?
We gotta get, what's his name?
Neil deGrasse Tyson?
First of all, I was thinking Neil Patrick Harris, and I was like, "That's not right."
We could get an NPH too.
I know, but I was thinking Neil deGrasse Tyson.
I mean, Neil deGrasse Tyson.
You definitely gotta get him in there.
Like, he will...
Like, what made, Oz did his thing. Dr. Mike did his thing, but he was very patient and kind with us.
Something tells me we would break Neil deGrasse Tyson, and he'd be like, "Fuck you guys."
To be fair, I think I did see a clip of him on, uh, Theo Von's podcast, and I'm pretty sure Theo asked him if space was gay.
Yeah, he did.
And then he just gave an answer.
Yeah, which is...
Like, didn't miss a beat.
Which is crazy.
So, like, it makes me pretty confident that, like, he would have an answer for stuff.
I just think that, like, there's so many, like, we can do a, a body health doctor, we could do a space doctor, we could do a food doctor.
Space doctor.
You know what I'm talking about? Like...
Yeah, a magic doctor.
Magic doc, we got magic doctor, we got YouTube doctors with, uh, you know, Red Link. Uh... We could do space doctor next, food doctor. What else is there?
Neil deGrasse Tyson would be a funny, uh, funny one. I think that's got to be...
I would love to speak to, have you ever seen those, those videos that are like, um... They're, they're called like, I think they're through, I don't remember, but it's like tech support, but it's like paleontology support, and they'll have a paleontologist answer questions from like people that submit them online. Or like, you know, astrophysicist support, something. They're actually pretty interesting. But like, a fossil doctor.
That'd be a cool one.
Fossil doctor, it's like a title?
Paleontologist, I think.
Oh, well, that's, yeah.
You know, the doctorate of paleontology.
There's gotta be.
What about someone that's found treasure or something? Like Indiana, like, uh, like National Treasure, Indiana Jones or something.
Like, like a pirate?
Like a-
Treasure?
I know what you're talking about.
Like, a treasure hunter or something.
Bro, like National Treasure.
Yeah, something.
First of all, that also is very high on my bucket list.
To find the national treasure?
Yeah, to like, like, that movie is like, like, that is a great example of what, if I kept my childhood brain and never matured?
If.
That's what I would do with my life.
I mean, I'm shocked you haven't seen any of the Indiana Jones movies.
I, yeah, I gotta, I mean, it was, yeah.
You would fall in love, like, each of them, kind of, like, more, more of the first-
I love National Treasure, like, I love the fact that he's like, "Oh, there's a shadow," and it, and then it's like-
Bro.
"He's got these glasses, then you can read," and there's different things to read.
Raiders of the Lost Ark, you're going to, like, you're gonna-
What have I, why have I not, and also, uh, yeah, have you seen the movies, the Indiana Jones movies?
Of course, big Disney guy, of course. Um-
It's a little before that one.
Yeah, it's fair, they were Lucasfilm. Um, I, like, the first one and then, uh, The Last Crusade, because you were a kid of God? You would love The Last Crusade.
I was a kid of God?
Yeah, it's like them searching for the Holy Grail.
And, like, there's all, like, booby traps and shit, no real boobies, I don't think.
Yo, I love booby traps.
Dude, why do you think I love Legends of the Hidden Temple so much?
Booby traps are just so good. Like, if I, if I got caught in a booby trap, a part of me for a second would be like, "What innovation."
Like, whoever put this together is-
Modern ingenuity.
Yeah, like, it's like a spike thing that I get caught in, and I'm like, "This is unbelievable stuff."
The idea of going out, like, dying, cause like, if you say, like, "Oh, he died cause he fell in a pit," boo, but like, he died by booby trap?
Awesome way to die.
Like, if, if I was, like, walking through the jungle, first of all, I wouldn't be doing that, but if I was walking through the jungle, and then all of a sudden, like, I step somewhere and a rope pulls me up, and then, like, there's, like-
Dude, those-
A nest of, of monkeys and they're, like, ripping my face apart, I'd be like, for a second, I'd be like, this is, someone has to be so- Validated and like, oh my god.
Do you know how bad I wanna get caught in a net? I wanna walk through like leaves and then a big net just swallow me and pull me up.
You know how fucking cool that probably is?
For like maybe a minute.
You know what I actually wanna be? Tied to a big stick of bamboo and carried to a village. And that's dangerous.
Yeah. Oh, you mean like over the shoulder to like slow roast you over a fire?
Like it does look cut like it does look kind of fun like on the way there.
I mean, it looks like honestly, it would be painful because they like tie, they like hog tie you.
So like you'll be like tied with a thing of bamboo going through your arms and like you're like hanging and shit like that.
But in the movies, they always find a way out.
I do wanna be treated.
Not always.
Yeah, sometimes they do. You ever see, what was it? Uh, Green Inferno?
Oh, don't even.
I'm thinking more of like, uh, Pirates of the Caribbean.
That, you know, they should have experiences where like you could be treated like you were captured in the jungle.
You know what I'm saying? Like they do escape rooms. Cool, whatever for the intellectually inclined.
Fine.
You just wanna get caught.
I just wanna be like, go run through this jungle and then you step on a rope and it fucking swings you up and then you need to cut yourself with like a jagged rock.
And then you hit the ground.
Dude, when we were kids at the lake, we used to, we thought we were building a treehouse and we were like, we're only gonna use rocks as tools. And, uh, we didn't.
Sure. What you and like, like.
My brothers, Brian, Steven, Patty.
Uh, rocks as tools, but build a treehouse?
The parents are probably thrilled about that. They're like, they'll be at that the whole summer.
Well, cause it was like, you know, next to where my cabin is, there was like that little cove with like that little island on there. If you go to it, I don't know if it's still there, but we had like nailed a plank into the tree and it was like the first step. And then we like found rocks that were like jagged and we were like, we can cut stuff with this.
We never did.
When you're a kid, oh god, there's nothing better than that of like, this is possible. Or you just get a stick and be like, I'm a wizard and now it's a sword and now ow. Ow, my elbow.
I was playing outside with the girls yesterday and I found a stick and we were playing like Magic One. And I was just.
And it was so fucking cool.
I wish, I remember after the last Harry Potter movie, I was like, oh, we're not going back to Hogwarts next year. And I was like, damn, wizardry is not real and this pisses me off. Cause I would love to go to Hogwarts and just like.
I've yet to go to the Universal Hogwarts experience. I have a feeling.
It's outrageous.
It's gonna cost a couple bucks.
Sure. Are your children into Harry Potter?
Miles, big time. Loves Harry Potter.
Harry Potter's great.
Bro, speaking of crying like a baby, watching that movie with him, having to explain spoiler, I'm not gonna spoil it. Like one of the, you know what I'm talking about? Like I was getting choked up explaining to him like, it's all about love. You know what I mean?
It's all about love.
Ant's looking at me like someone that couldn't care less about Harry Potter.
I feel like I was following along and then I didn't know what movie you were talking about. I feel like I just lost myself.
You know, the first?
Part one?
No. Do I, do I need to say the line? Always.
You know, and I was like.
Part one, I think. Am I bugging?
Uh.
He's talking about Deathly Hallows, part one, right?
Yeah, I thought it was.
Yeah, I think it is part one. But like the arc, oh god, I like cried explaining it to him.
That's so funny.
And the kids, you know, if it's not K-pop Demon Hunters, the girls don't really care about it right now.
That sucks, but.
No, it's good.
No, no, I mean like it sucks that they're not into Harry Potter. Harry Potter's amazing, dude.
They'll get there, like.
Dude, in Harry Potter, like, if you have children that are really into Harry Potter and then you walk into.
Uh, Islands of, is it Islands of Adventure that I'm thinking of?
Well, it has both, like both.
Well, I'm talking about when you get to Hogsmeade, it's like.
My.
Unbelievable.
I can't, I can't wait.
Was that a question?
I can't wait?
I wanna go, like, we've, we've discussed going soon.
It's so good.
But I'm gonna need help. I literally have recruited so far one person to assist me with everything.
Oh, you're gonna need a GoFundMe too.
I will need both of you. I know, I know. Bro, I talked to my neighbor and he was just like, we literally hired someone who scheduled and paid for everything, came with us, waited on lines for us and shit like that.
Waited on lines?
I mean, you're gonna have to do fast pass.
But he said, he's like, we did all that stuff and they waited on the line, so like, when it was our turn, we just walked up and took her spot.
Wow, I didn't know that was like a thing you could do.
Take a wild guess what something like that costs.
Hmm, just for that part or the whole trip?
I think he said that they went for like three days.
The whole trip?
Uh, I mean, it's over ten grand.
You're close. I'm not gonna give away like the actual amount, but like-
Yeah, it's a lot.
Are they staying on property or off property?
Yeah, it's a big one.
That's a great question, I didn't specify.
If you do stay on property?
Oh, I'm not, I'm not talking about what the whole thing costs, I'm talking about what that service cost.
Oh, it's like- That's close to ten grand?
Like the VIP stuff, kinda?
I don't think that's worth it.
You get, you get a handler?
That's what the person wants, it was basically a handler.
Oh, like, this is through Disney?
It's like a, like, just a buy-itself service.
Oh. Oh, I don't know then.
Replace that, AI.
Damn, I miss it, I wanna go back already. We had such a good time that time.
I'm going in like four days.
Fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck you.
You gonna get a butter beer?
Is it beer?
Damn it.
Oh, it's cuz, uh, yeah.
Do they sell alcohol there, but they call it like a cool Harry Potter thing?
There's alcohol everywhere.
They had, there's a bar in Harry Potter World that has like the hog on a head, it's a hog's head, but it talks to you, it's called Hog's Mead, you get beer there, it's funny.
Yeah, how stupid do you think we are? We know Harry Potter.
You don't know the place exists.
But I know Harry Potter, I know Hog's Mead.
Fucking guy, bro.
But also Hogsmeade's called The Place, not the Bar. I believe it's the Leaky Cauldron.
Oh shit, oh you might be right.
Oh!
You might be right, actually. What, that The Place is called Leaky Cauldron?
Yeah, you might be right.
I mean, that would make more sense.
But there's a hog head.
Cause Hogsmeade's like the town, dude. It's like Steinway.
That's for no one. That's just for me and you. We know Steinway. That's like Steinway.
Um, damn, I'm jealous, though.
Have you ever bought a wand there?
Nah, they're bread.
How much?
It'd be like 180.
Get the fuck out of here!
Hundred eighty dollars?
But you can, you can go around to specific, uh, points, and if you have the wand, you could do magic and like it does stuff.
I'm letting you know.
We have already publicly announced that we're doing more live shows.
We're gonna need to get those if I wanna go to Disney.
Oh man. Especially if, if like your daughters get into Harry Potter and you got three people.
Bro, if Miles looks at me with, he doesn't even need to like, you know, sometimes kids can play into the whole like, please? If he just looks at me happy, I'll be like, whatever you want.
I don't care.
And you, you watch the families where the three kids have the full cloaks that they bought in the store and the three wands and they're going around doing magic? Like, god.
Yeah, this guy must own a hedge fund.
God.
I'm telling you, I might be that guy. And it might, I might-
I mean, you're gonna.
I think you will.
I might like, I'm telling you right now, if I get put in a Slytherin or something stupid like Hufflepuff, I'm gonna be pissed.
You can buy them. You can buy them.
Oh, I can pick. Yeah, you can pick. Don't they have the sorting hat there, though? And he's just like, ah! Filthy.
Stinky.
Stinky! Slytherin!
That's a pretty good impression.
And they put it on Joey's head, they'll be like, mm. Alright, I smell money.
I smell money.
White. Yo, you know that fucking sortie house racist as hell, dude.
Yeah. Oh, my god, that's true.
Which house would he be in? You gotta finish.
We know what house he'd be in, cuz he'd pay his way into Gryffindor. We've already, we've already gone over this a bunch of times. We've looked at what houses we would do in.
What do you think you are? I dunno. Slytherin, probably?
You're not fucking cool enough for Slytherin. Who do you think you are?
Easy.
I also love how people-
Slytherin before the movie.
He thinks he's Evel Knievel.
I also love, Slytherin before the movie, it was fully based on being racist. I love how people are just like-
Was it?
I love how they're just like, hmm, well, I'm cunning. I would be a Slytherin. It's like, the founder was just like, if you're a mudblood, you're out, dude.
Like-
Also Crab and Barf, or whatever their names are. Was it Crab and-
Crab and Goyle.
Yeah, ew.
Wasn't Slytherin before the movie like the powerhouse of the school? And then Gryffindor just became cool because-
Yes, Salazar Slytherin was just like, I don't want anyone, ew. Your parents are fucking not just magic? Get outta here, dude.
I mean-
I guess I don't know the lore. Maybe Hufflepuff?
I believe that was like, I don't really, there's not-
If they do more Harry Potter stuff, we should probably dive into those two houses a little bit, cuz I don't, there's not really a highlight of them.
Yeah, I, I mean, the game kinda like, if you, if you get placed in one of those, I know that there's so much lore.
Frank, if the game placed me in anything other than Gryffindor, I'm snapping it in half.
I, I believe that first, cuz it was like, they place you, and then you can say, nope, I wanna go there. I think they had placed me in like Ravenclaw or some shit.
They did, and you're-
You're like, yo, fuck this game.
Yo, fuck it.
Cuz Ravenclaw is like the studious ones, right? And Hufflepuff, aren't they just popping potions? I might do that one.
Yeah, they're like drug addicts. So you have Gryffindor that are just like-
They're kind of like-
They're like the heroic, but also arrogant.
Slytherin, they're like, they're cunning, they're just racist.
And they use slurs. Mmm, mudblood.
And then Hufflepuff was just like-
I'd be popping potions. I'll be Hufflepuff.
The, the fucking stoners.
I'll be at Hogsmeade getting after it.
You're in Ravenclaw.
Walking out into the forest.
I mean Ravenclaw's not the worst in my opinion because the name is pretty fucking cool.
Yeah, I like Ravenclaw.
Ravens and claws are cool.
Both cool, yeah.
Hufflepuff?
It's a little...
Get the fuck outta here.
It sounds like a Pokemon.
It does, it does, yes, exactly. Like it would, it would be like a ball of smoke.
What are you re- what are you researching?
Just looking at what Hufflepuff does.
What do they do?
It's a, "Operator's community acting as the glue that holds people together through dedication and strong moral compass."
Wow, that's nice.
Feels like me.
Fine. What do they say about Slytherin? And immediately just add a couple hard Rs to it.
Oh god, I have to spell Slytherin.
Oh yeah, you're probably over there having a tough...
Hmm.
"A drive to succeed, often aiming for leadership positions and striving to be the best in their endeavors." I could, that's Slytherin?
If you're white.
Yeah, white nationalism. "We strive to be the best at our endeavors if you're blond, hair blue, and white."
Yeah. "The ends justify the means."
Yeah, this is all sounding very Proud Boy-ish.
It's a little tough.
Oh man. Alright, well, there you have it, folks.
I don't really, I mean, I had to do a stretch like that, I don't know, it just felt good. But Frank, where can they find you?
Uh, the Frank Albers all over, patreon.com/thebasementyard, and the basementyard in all forms of social media. Go check it all out.
And? You can find me at AntPrisco on Instagram.
And you guys can follow me at JoseNagano. Go follow the show at The Basement Yard on TikTok and Instagram. And that is all. See you guys next time.
Page updated October 30, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated