The Basement Yard
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Now, more than ever, we need someone on our side. But Rob Whitman? Whitman's votes drove up costs, cut Medicaid, and risked 350,000 Virginians' healthcare to pay for tax breaks for himself and his donors. He's not on our side. Shannon Taylor will fight corruption, cut taxes, and bring down costs. This November, vote for Shannon Taylor. She's for us. Paid for by HMP, the HouseMajorityPac.com. Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.
Welcome back to the basement.
Welcome back to the basement yard. Frank, how are you doing?
I'm doing well. How are you doing?
I'm doing great. And why don't you wear some more stuff and plug your own podcast? It's getting ridiculous now.
This guy's fucking crazy, dude.
It's getting crazy now.
It is, right?
It's getting crazy.
Just like the product placement. This guy, he's giving away free plugs on a show that's not fucking his!
I don't know which one you're talking about. What's the name of it?
Yeah, I don't know. I like that hat, though. I like that a lot. That's really nice. That's it. That's all you're getting.
Yeah, I don't... That's enough for me. I will say, those candies that you're wearing? Love them.
Eww.
You don't like them?
God, those suck. Those are one of the worst all-time candies.
No shot.
We are in a great candy season. We are in a great candy season right now.
Easter, our Lord, and He came back.
He are risen. What is it?
Is, Frank.
He is risen?
He is risen.
He...
He did rise.
I don't see... Like, that's why I don't like old-timey English, because it's not good. Like, they were all like...
He has risen?
Yeah, that's what I would say if I were...
But He is like a capital H.
I know. I know.
So if it's like, you know...
But that's not the part of it that bothers me. It's the "is risen."
So "has risen"?
Yeah, "he has risen." "He's gonna be risen."
Take a look.
The Bible's like, yo, he has been... What'd you say?
"He's gonna be rising."
I wonder if...
"He's finna be rising."
I know that they make like... Miles has a Bible that's like a graphic novel comic book, and it's called like "The Action Bible." I wonder if like, someone would like take the Bible and like translate it into like modern lingo.
I'm sure that has to be...
And it's like, the apostles are like, "This is giving resurrection right now."
Sunny.
It's giving leprosy.
This is, this, oh my, this is giving frankincense.
Pontius Pilate is like giving Mean Girl right now.
Oh, I don't like Brutus, was that the one? No, that was Caesar.
I'm not.
Who's the one that like went against?
Judas?
Judas.
Brutus and Caesar. Wasn't Caesar like, yeah, that was a different, that was Rome, wasn't it?
Yeah, I think so. And a salad.
Yeah, dude.
Where, where are you on Caesar salad?
I like Caesar salad, but I think that people, when they have like their first Caesar salad, they go down a rabbit hole. Like people when they try Caesar salad for the first time, they're like, oh my God, this is the greatest thing and then everything. Like Caesar salad wraps, bro, they're good, but everyone chill. It's like drugs for people.
I, I do think that we're getting away from like the point of Caesar. Like Caesar needs to be a salad dressing and like, I don't want this like bagged. I want it like real Caesar, you know what I mean?
Bagged?
Yeah, like pre-made Caesar. Have you seen, have you seen those, like the, like people at the restaurants making it with like just two spoons?
Yeah, yeah.
Whoa.
Yeah, I went to a restaurant, I got the Caesar and then they like take a little anchovy and they crush it up and they like fucking.
That's the only place that I'm like cool with mustard, knowing that it's there. You know what I mean?
In a Caesar?
In a Caesar. Like I know mustard's in there and I'm like, I'll allow it.
Yeah. You like Caesar salad wraps? Um, chicken Caesar salad wraps, sure. What I was gonna say is, isn't it weird, what's the lettuce where they kind of just put a head of lettuce on it, on the plate? Like a wedge?
Like a wedge salad?
Nah, weird.
I love lettuce. You're never gonna get an argument with me about lettuce.
I like it too, because they, you kind of like, it's like a boat. It like fills it. What's the red ones? Undies? Endies?
Endies, I believe, yeah.
Those are good, cause they usually pack those bits.
I like, well, I like when it comes in like the, uh, like romaine and you can like peel it and it's like, you can make like a lettuce wrap with it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's cool. I like when it helps me eat, not when I need to like do the work for it.
I like when it's like a, like a shovel, that I can like shovel shit in my face.
I do like that.
Yeah.
I mean, Caesar salad's great. It's a great salad. You know what is weird? Have you ever had butter lettuce?
Yeah, what is that?
It's like, it looks like a full head of lettuce, but there's like eight leaves in it.
And then they're just like super crunchy. I want all the leaves, all the time. I can eat a whole head of lettuce. At will.
I'm in a, an arugula groupie. Like, I'm into it.
Arugula is such an underrated form of greenery.
Yeah, dude, it really is.
Kale?
Kale's kinda, nah.
Here's the thing with kale. It holds dressing well.
It's pretentious to me.
Because it got's like, it got's like little nooks and crannies in there where it'll like, just hold a little bit.
Yeah. It's a very outdoorsy looking lettuce. Like, it looks like this, you got this from outside.
I'm sure it is.
Which you did, but like, you know what I mean?
I'm sure it is healthy for you, but like, it seems like it's the type of lettuce, or it's not lettuce, it's the type of greenery that like, you have it to like, appear more healthy. You know what I mean?
It's the caviar of greens.
Yeah, like, you don't know what you're doing, you're just eating kale because you're told it's the best.
Yeah, like, this isn't, like, a kale salad? Hmm, no. Not for me.
Too much.
That's like having a bowl of, of caviar. Like, you're not gonna, this is like a little.
It's gotta be mixed in with other shit.
I'll tell you who is a pretentious bastard. Who the fuck does spinach think it is? Spinach can kiss my ass.
Whoa, I feel like I kinda like spinach.
I like it, but like, not to the point where everyone's just like, "Oh my god, spinach."
It's just like in everything. They kinda like throw it in your shit. I, I don't mind it. I don't like when it gets, when they start all bunching up in my wrap, and then I take a bite and I'm like, "I mean, just spinach now?"
I had great salads in my life. I've never made a great salad. Because all of my stuff gets to the bottom, and then I have to like...
Yeah, I gotta do this.
Yeah, I gotta, yeah.
And I can't do that.
I gotta like, fluffily, like, air it up, you know? I don't, I don't like it. It's too much work to be healthy.
Have you ever used one of those fucking salad things?
Have I?
Crank it?
Oh, I don't have the crank. I have the button.
Those are cool too. My mom has that.
And I'm like, "Oh, and it's spitting that bitch."
Like, the crank? And I'm like, "Yo, there, there's a lot of G in here." Like, there's a lot of G-force.
Oh, I'm, I'm there for the Gs. I like doing that too with, uh, like, when I wash fruit. And then I take, cause it has like the removable strainer, and then I look at all that dirty water down there, and I look at the fruit, and I was like, "Look what you did, you little pig."
Yeah, that's, whoa. And then, but also like, that makes you feel good, cause you're like, "I could've eaten that."
Yeah, which I don't really care much about, like...
Yeah, I'm wearing bugs.
I'm not like, hyper intense on like...
Bro, if you're eating fruit, you're eating bugs. Just what it is.
And germs, like, I, I, I think that the good parts of whatever you're eating are gonna outweigh the bad parts that are on it, sometimes.
What's the worst thing you've found in your food?
I haven't really di- like, found anything like too insane.
You ever bit an apple, find a worm?
No. No, that only happens in like Disney movies from the 40s. I don't think that's ever been a real thing.
Or like an apple on a teacher's desk. Where it's like a fucking worm.
Bro, if I was a teacher and a kid was just like, "I like you, here's an apple, I'm fucking smacking that apple and then I'm gonna yell at the kid, I'm not gonna hit him."
Yeah, I'd be like, "Yo, I'm not eating your fu- who the fuck are you? I'm not eating this."
How many times have you gifted a mug to a teacher?
Once, I think, maybe, I don't know. You were big on the that? I don't know if I even got my teacher- what are you talking about?
My mom was like, boys with all of my teachers.
Well, she was like part of the staff.
Yeah, so like, I had to, around Christmas time, it was like, you need to get gifts for all your teachers. So they got mugs, like the ones that they sell at like Starbucks that come already wrapped with like a gift card in it and then like a bag of instant coffee or some shit.
Yeah, I did that for, uh, the ice cream man once.
What?
It wasn't my idea.
Hold on.
So you won't give gifts to your teacher who arguably has more of an impact on your life, but you will to the ice cream guy that was...
He got in trouble.
What, did he?
What'd he do?
You didn't hear about this?
You're making this up.
I swear.
What happened to him?
He got in trouble for like...
For what? Children?
No.
How am I supposed to guess then? Stabbing?
No, that's- you think I stab like that?
I thought you had a knife and you stabbed someone.
Is that drugs?
The rumor was drugs, yeah.
Oh, whatever, that's fine. I mean, as long as it's not like-
No, no it ain't.
Well, to children or to other- to-
I don't know who it was to, or if it's even true, but I'm gonna take it as it's real.
Get it how you live it. I mean, I- I understand drugs are bad, but as long as you're not someone's children or you're not stabbing anyone. Not that that, you know, I don't know, I- I don't know, I was forced to do this.
Just give me my great white shark, I don't want some of that great white, you know what I'm saying?
Yes. Um, my dad made me do it.
That's- I swear to God, if you had asked me to pick between your two parents, I would've said your father, 50% chance.
Of course, of course. My- I don't even know if my mom ever like, met this guy. My dad knew everyone in the neighborhood for some reason.
Your dad was like, "Oh, go he- go do something nice for him."
You know what I got? I don't know what the- the- What the actual like gift was, but I do know there were scratch off tickets in it.
That's such a popular gift around the holidays. Just like buy 10 scratch offs and just give one to someone because it could be either a meaningless gift or a $30,000 gift.
I honestly hate it as a gift.
If you gift somebody a scratch off and they win a million, are you?
I don't think any scratch offs can win you a million dollars.
No, there are.
If, if it's a 20 buck one or something probably, I don't know, but.
Regardless.
I'm saying a hundred thousand.
A hundred thousand. Would, would you be, would you not a little bit of you?
No, no.
This is an age old question because it'll be like, I buy you a Powerball ticket and you win 35 million. How much are you giving me? We've talked about this a ton.
That's different. No, that's, that's different. That's not what I'm saying.
Scratch off?
But I gifted it to you. Like, like Merry Christmas.
Yeah, no, you can't.
And then you win a hundred thousand.
I just to be.
Next time I saw you.
Just to be a better person than Joe, I'd give him a little, a little something.
I would do, I wouldn't give them like a fixed amount, but I would be like, like, you know, like a dinner or something like, like something really nice. Like an, like an, like an elevated version of whatever.
Are you telling them that you won the money?
Oh, am I the one who won? You're saying that I win the hundred thousand?
Alright, how, how?
No, I was, I was saying somebody else.
Alright.
I would not expect any.
Here we go, here we go, here we go. Hey, uh Merry Christmas.
Oh, we're acting.
Yeah, acting yard, welcome back. Um.
Alright. Action.
Merry Christmas, I got you this, um.
Scratch off ticket?
Yeah, just a little something, you know, thank you for all the ice creams you've delivered to my kids.
Oh, I'm not an ice cream guy.
Okay.
So, um, that's for you, just best of luck, ha ha.
Oh my God, I won a hundred thousand dollars on this.
Wow.
Wow, did you?
Thank you so much for this.
No problem, man. How, let me see that. How did you win that? Wow.
Hundred thousand dollars. Hundred thousand big ones.
That's so cool.
Bing bang boom.
Fuck ice cream. You know what I'm saying?
Oh, with, you're retiring?
It's a hundred thousand dollars. What year is this?
Uh, 95.
Not enough.
Right.
Um, that's, I'm so happy for you.
I would thank you so much for, this is unbelievable. I gotta give you something. I gotta give you something.
I gotta, dude, I gotta give you something.
No, you don't, you don't need.
A hundred thousand dollars just changed my life.
You don't need to do that. You don't need to.
At least let me take you to dinner.
Where?
At, uh.
Whatever you want.
Alright, I know-
I know this really nice restaurant.
It's really nice. What's your favorite cuisine?
Wine.
Oh.
They have a good wine list?
Yep.
Sweet. And scene. We crush that acting.
That's what I'm saying. So you gotta offer, like, "I gotta get you something." Like, "No!" And he's like, "At least let me take you to dinner." Now you're in the clear.
But, but here's the thing. At what point is the "No!" Do you say like, "Okay"? Cause I know you, as an individual, if this were actually happening and I were to say "No!", you'd be like, "Okay." After the first time.
No, I would not.
Yeah, because, yes, you've, I think you-
What kind of s- what are you, what are you, what are you basing that on?
Because you're the type of person, you've openly spoken about this, that like, if someone, like, if there's like, one thing of food left, if there's one mozzarella stick left, you'll be like, "Anyone want it?" "No, no!" You'll just go, "Okay."
Frank, we're equating mozzarella sticks to a hundred thousand dollars that I got from a gift.
I see a very clear parallel between the two.
Okay, you're ignoring nuance here. You think that I would be like, "Let me give you something." You go, "No!" And you go, "Okay." And I'm out. And I'll just walk down the street.
I think you're more inclined than I am.
That's bananas, that you would think that.
I would sneak the money into your, like, and you'd be like, "No!", and I'd sneak it into your, your, your pocket or something.
I will go on record and say that, like, if someone is offering me money and I am telling them "No!", I would be offended if you snuck it on me. I'd be like, "Get this the fuck off me."
Oh, see. Cause I'm- I think it's just like a little playful thing back and forth, where it's like, "No!", "Yes!", huh!
But I'm also not like that with like, the bills, with dinner or whatever. If I'm out with people and I would like, I, I usually, if I want to pay, I will wait until, like, before the check comes, because I don't wanna deal with it, like, in the moment. I don't wanna put pressure on anyone, but I'll say to people like, "I would really like to pay for this, if that's okay with you guys." Cause if there's like, you know, whatever, then we can kind of settle that, whatever. If people are, are like, I want to pay. And I'm like, it's, or, or if they say that one time, then I will let that go because that's different than like, are you sure? No, you don't have to. But if they're like, no, I really, I would like to pay for this as well. I'd be like, okay, no problem. Cause I'm not trying to fight. You know what I mean? Like, but I would definitely offer.
But it's not a fight. It's just a little back and forth.
But I also know that if I'm in, in that position and I say that, because if someone's like, oh, you know, we want to pay for dinner. I'd be like, oh my God, thank you so much. Like, I appreciate that. Cause I know that I will pay it forward at some point or whatever. But if I'm like, no, no, no, like I, I would like to pay for that. I, the last thing I want right now is to have this argument where it's like, who's nicer than blah, blah, blah. Because it's not even a, a matter of that. I would like to pay for my end.
You think someone would be trying to like big dog you? If they just pay and don't tell you and they're just like, no, you're my bitch.
First of all, at a restaurant, big dog me. I don't care. If I'm at a restaurant and someone's like, I'd like to pay for this. I'd, I would be, and if it's someone that I know, I, this happened to me recently where I went out to dinner with people. I was fully like expecting to pay. But they ended up paying and like their wife was there and you know, someone else was there. And they were like, oh, like I'm gonna handle it. Don't worry about it. And I was like, all right, like no problem. Like I'll just get the next one type of thing. But I'll remember that. So like the next time I'm not dealing with this shit, two in a row. I'm not doing this.
It's like the scene in The Sopranos where, uh, Meadow's boyfriend like pays for dinner and Toni and she's like, oh no. He's like, listen, you fuck.
Yeah. And he's like, you fucking, when you have your own family.
How would you, how would you deal with that? Like?
I'd be okay with it.
I don't get the, even in that scene, it's just a disrespect thing?
Yeah, it's like, uh,
How is it?
It's like, I, I'm the one that, you know, like, I'm the one that's supposed to pay. I'm the head of the household. Like that's back when, I think now, obviously it's a very different time than it was when they, whenever they made that show in the nineties.
If I went out with my daughter and her new boyfriend and he paid for the bill without me knowing, I would think that he's doing a nice thing, but I also would probably explain that like, You don't, like, you don't need to do that. And also, like, you're a kid. Like, they were, like, in college. It's like, you're not paying for the dinner.
Yeah. I don't know. I, I think, I think it'd be like, I appreciate this, never do this again. And then I'd flash a gun in their face.
Yeah. He's, there's Tony over there.
I mean, thank you. Nah, I don't know about that one. Yeah.
You're a little, like, old school. Not a little. I think you're very old school. You're traditional in a lot of ways.
In what way?
Like, in ways like that.
I'm fully joking. Like, I, anytime I've been out to dinner with my father-in-law, I don't let him pay. You know?
What? You're an adult. You don't let him pay, you say?
Yeah, like, I'm like, I'm going to get this. Like, please. And I mean, there have been times where, like, but like, I always, like, listen, please, let me do this, like.
But I don't, I don't think, I'm pretty, I'm pretty new wave.
See what I mean?
I'm pretty new wave.
I'm pretty hip.
I'm, I'm hip.
I'm pretty hip to it.
I, it is gonna be really interesting to see, like, when our kids are, you know, at dating age, what, like, the things to do or not do are, you know? Because those things are evolving. Like, if you had told our parents' generation that, like, you know, uh, the, the son will pay for dinner, they'd have the Tony Soprano reaction. You know what I mean? So, like, I wonder what it will be like, how, like, the cultural norms will shift when they're of dating age.
Well, now we know they've shifted, and it's like, if you're a guy and you pay for, on the first date, you're a bitch or something, apparently.
Yeah, you're a little simp bitch, apparently.
You're a simp bitch.
Cuck?
Beta.
Uh, soy boy.
And a Democrat.
And, yeah. Cuck, soy boy, Democrat, lib.
Yeah, she, she's free food maxing you.
Free food maxing. Jester maxing, free food maxing.
You're jester maxing.
Pocket, pocket maxing with.
Pocket maxing?
I can't, I can't even keep up with all this.
I saw a tweet the other day that was just like, clavicular, jester maxed after, but, and someone, like, retweeted it and said, like, yo, things are being said that have never been said before.
Like, this sentence would kill someone in the Victorian era.
Things are being said that have never been said before.
What is jester-maxing?
Bro, you're, I mean, I'm too old.
I don't, I don't even know that one. It's just, anything maxing is something you're doing better.
I do think it's funny.
I think it's hilarious.
I think the maxing shit is hilarious.
And like, what is this whole shit with like jaw muscles?
Oh, that, I mean, this is-
Like, strong gum?
The looks-maxing thing is like, now becoming like a thing where like, that kid that you're talking about, like, he would hit his cheek with a hammer so that it would like, the idea is that you would break the bones and they'd grow back and be stronger and you have like, better cheekbones. So it's all about like-
Why?
To be like, more symmetrical and-
Look like fucking Gaston?
Classically, uh-
That's a bad example, Gaston was ripped.
Or traditionally attractive.
But who, pull up the picture of the guy I'm talking about, like, who would find that-
Like, Kavikia?
I don't know who, but the kid that chews strong gum.
Who the fuck is that?
Oh, you're talking about the kid with, like, the jaws like that?
Oh, I don't know who you're talking about.
You've never seen this dude? I saw, I saw it on like, Instagram, like, WorldStar posted it or something, and I was just like, this is fucking crazy.
Well, he's got like, balls over here?
Like, you know how like, when you're sitting, and this is the only time I've done it, but like, when you're getting a haircut and you're getting it like a shave and you look and you do this? You know what I'm talking about? You're like-
Clench your jaw?
Yeah, but you like, pop it out to see like-
Maybe I got, I put on a little bit of weight, so maybe it's not looking like it did when I was eighteen years old.
Well, I can see your head move, but you have a beard, so I can't really-
Yeah, I guess so, but like, apparently this dude like, chews strong gum.
Strong gum.
Like-
It's like, workout-
Real sticky.
Like, workout gum, not even sticky, but like, you remember-
Oh, do you remember the jawser size?
I was ge- No?
It was called like, like, jawser size? It's like a thing you put in your mouth and you like chew, and it like, supposed to work out this like, muscle or something?
Why were you working out that muscle, Joey?
It was a commercial, I didn't buy it.
I don't know about that there.
It's a commercial.
I was gonna say like, you know, like the gumballs that come in like the ice pops when we were kids and like after like three minutes of chewing, they basically became like chewing on.
Dust?
Not dust, it was like industrial grade rubber.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It became like super intense.
So like this kid chews on that and has a jaw that like it looked like if you put those chairs on either side of my face.
He's looks maxing.
Looks maxing, jaw maxing.
Sint maxing.
That's a big one, I'm sure.
Trying to find a good picture of him. This is, is this real? This guy's jaw is big. Alright, I got one.
You said that, you said that kinda sexually.
I'm not gonna body shame, but.
I'm not body shaming, I'm body looking at and being like, alright.
Just with this kid.
I, I mean, I also, I don't know who this.
Hmm, okay. It's just a big, it's a big jaw.
Never skip jaw day.
Is this?
Ayo, by the way.
One. Is this real?
I don't, I don't know.
And, or is it cosmetic surgery?
It could be. I don't know. And just like a classic American, I'm not gonna go and figure it out.
This is the strong gum guy?
This is the strong gum kid. There's like videos of him like talking. And like the dude's got a strong jaw.
Is he American?
I don't know.
You heard him talking?
No, like it's like with music and like
I don't know, he's just got like muscular jaw, dude.
Very interesting. Or maybe he's got the stuff that Marlon Brando had in The Godfather.
Yeah, but that was down here.
Yeah, but he's got it stuffed in the back.
So this is, this is jaw maxing?
Yeah, this is jaw maxing.
If you were saying you were good at maxing one thing, what would it be?
Uh, that's a great question. What am I good at maxing? Um.
Shit, I don't know. Maybe, maybe nothing. Maxed out? I don't know. Whoa, what am I looking at here?
I got him.
Why does he got a-
Strong gum!
Look at that dude.
Is that- no, no, no.
Wow, that looks- I guess that is real. Yeah, I mean- It looks real. I mean, also, judging by what I'm looking at right now, that's not an American.
Yeah, that he-
It's very European looking.
Very, very European, yeah. I'm with you on that one.
Um, well-
We could be- we're podcast maxing.
True. Yeah.
We are-
We are podcast maxing, I guess. You can be maxing anything. I think it's funny, like, if you were closer to the frame than Joey, like, "Look, I'm frame maxing you." That's so funny. Like, that's so funny to me.
Oh, it's like, used against someone?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it's competition. Like, looks maxing, you're trying to outlook- And like, mugging is like, if you're- if you look better than me, then it's like, Frank's mugging Joe.
I'm mugging you?
These are all words that I don't know.
Well, yeah.
We're learning something today. Who told you that the Basement Yard podcast wasn't educational?
Like, you're- you're watch mugging right now.
I mean, you said it, not me. But he's- he's bank account mugging all of us.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's bank account maxing.
He's cash maxing.
He's investment maxing, too.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I, uh-
Just the fact that he has this studio, he's studio maxing us.
Studio maxing.
So I guess he's mugging our stu- he's mag-
He's mugging you in a studio fashion, yeah.
It happens, you know?
Studio mugging-maxing.
And even though we're all jester-maxing.
What is that?
It's like, funny, like a jester.
Oh. So, I mog jester-max you?
That I don't know. Now I don't even know. I might get a nosebleed in a minute, honestly.
I honestly don't know any of how this works.
Yeah, I don't know, but- Jester-maxing describes as behaving overly funny, entertaining, or foolish to attract attention from women and friends.
Well, not doing that. I guess we're not doing that.
We're- well, I'm just gonna leave out that part, but-
Yeah, 'cause like, we're doing this to have a successful podcast. It's not like, it's like, "Let's get the ladies."
So then-
We're jester-maxing.
Podcast-maxing. I think let's do that.
Well-
That's the title?
No, please god, no. Jester-maxing with Frank Alvarez.
Podcast-maxing.
That's gotta be it.
Podcast-maxing would be the... I... I think that's what you're doing.
Okay. Um, we're gonna, uh, advertise-max.
Advertise-maxing.
We're advertise-maxing real quick.
And then I'll Patreon-max.
He's gonna- So, we are, we are... Podcast, we're no. Adverti... Maxing right now. The first one that we have is Hims, okay? Hims offers convenient access to a range of prescription hair loss treatments with ingredients that work, including chews, oral medications, serums, and sprays. So, if you're a guy out there and your hair's like thinning, or you're losing some hair, or you just wanna be super preventative, this could be for you. These are doctor-trusted ingredients like finasteride and minoxidil, so it can help stop further hair loss, uh, and regrow hair in as little as three to six months. So, very helpful for people that are losing their hair in some sort of way. They have 24/7 provider, uh, support, and once-a-day treatment options that fit your daily routine.
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And Squarespace has a bunch of templates that make it very easy to- Launch your website. You can have a great looking website in a little amount of time. Cause now you don't need to hire someone to code the entire thing anymore with these templates. You can go in, change the photos, change the text. You have a very professional looking website in such a short amount of time and you can do it yourself, even with no experience. I did it and I had zero experience with that. So you definitely could. But they also have a bunch of tools to help you optimize your traffic, let you know where it's coming from and how to, you know, where to put some marketing dollars, how to make it better, whatever you need. So if you have content or you have an ecommerce business or anything, this could be helpful and you could head to squarespace.com/basement
to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain using the code basement. Okay? That is squarespace.com/basement to save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain.
And listen, you want to subscribe Max and subscribe Mog, the people in your life that aren't members of the Patreon? Go to patreon.com/thebasementyard. We're podcast maxing on there. And what you could do is you could sign up and you can get these weekly episodes one week in advance. Then that next year, you'll be view maxing exclusive episodes on Friday. So you start and end your week with the Basement Yard on Patreon. Patreon.com/thebasementyard is the best way to support us and we thank you, the over 50, 45,000 of you. I'm getting ahead of myself, but it's okay. I'm getting ahead of myself maxing.
The over 45,000 Patreon members, thank you guys so much. We hope you enjoy it and we want to keep giving you guys what you like. So go check it out. Patreon.com/thebasementyard. If you joined and you're new and you've never been, everything that's back catalog, you'll get it. And then you'll get the new stuff as it comes out. It's a win-win. You get sandwiched by Basement Yard episodes. That's nice, right? Sandwich maxing. So go check it out. Patreon.com/thebasementyard. And if you want to save yourself a couple bucks while you're doing it, go use that web browser that you use, whatever it may be, Safari. Google Chrome, I don't know of any other ones, I can't think of them, but if you go to that, that, that website, Patreon.com slash The Basement Yard, you type it in, instead of using the app, you'll save yourself a couple of extra bucks. If you use the app, they're gonna take some money from you, a little bit of extra, so save yourself a couple bucks, why not?
Patreon.com slash The Basement Yard, we love you, we thank you, we appreciate you. We'll see you, uh, episode maxing on there. I'm gonna be miserable with this maxing.
I can tell.
Everything that I say is gonna have to do with it.
You'll let four of them rip. Um, I do wanna talk about, there was a story of, uh, the chocolate. There's Viagra accidentally in the chocolate, there was like a recall, I don't know if it was like one of the popular ones, but dude, can you imagine?
Wait, it, like, it's, it's boner chocolate?
I don't think it's meant to be boner chocolate, there was like-
Oh, it's like, straight up chocolate?
Like, it needs to be, yeah, yeah, it's like chocolate that-
How does that happen?
I dunno, maybe there was like a spill in the Cialis factory and-
But why are they making chocolate in the Cialis factory?
That's a great question.
How would that even happen? Someone thought like, this is gonna be a big prank, and they dropped a handful of boner pills into the chocolate batch.
Isn't chocolate an aphrodisiac to begin with?
That's what they say, we've looked it up a ton of times, chocolate, uh, strawberries, oysters, something like that, but like-
I think I'm into strawberries now, by the way.
Just deciding a strawberry max on people?
I, I, I just, I was never really into them, and then the other day, I, I had one, and it was like, a fucking apple. It was like a sw- a wet fucking strawberry bitch, and I was like, I was like, I was like, yo, I'm drinking this thing.
See, now, now, how do I, what do I even do with that?
Come on!
Take a time out. Dude, you need to have like, proper strawberries.
Why can't the one that I had be proper?
Because it wasn't-
Cause it wasn't the one that you got.
What is a proper strawberry?
Like, real strawberries are like, this big. The ones where they're like apples, are not as, like, bro, when you taste the ones that are like, real, like, this big, they taste like strawberry flavoring.
I've had a Japanese strawberry.
They make, they're like, oi- oishis or something like that, I forgot the name of them, they're, I've seen them at like, Whole Foods and stuff.
Yeah, I dunno.
But like, it's like, twenty dollars for a pack of six strawberries.
We're not there yet.
I mean-
I mean, some of us. Podcast, pa- pa- pocket maxing on them.
Frank, you're not poor.
You're not poor.
I never said I was poor.
Oh, I can't buy a twenty dollar strawberry.
Brother.
Pull your fucking sweater down.
Yeah, this was a gift. This was a gift from the guy that that watch mogged me on fucking onstage.
Watch mog.
You watch mogged me onstage. I just, I hear what you're saying. I want you to experience the good parts of life and the good, the best parts of life are better strawberries for you.
I can't do anything without you trying to say that I did it wrong and I need to do it better.
I'm not saying you did it wrong, but you could do it better.
That's what I meant. Some intense points, I'm gonna be honest.
I'm gonna, I'm trying to better max your life.
You're trying to life max me?
I'm life, trying to life max you, so you can have, um, but, uh...
Chocolate boner pills. Imagine eating chocolate and you're just hard as a demon.
I feel like that has happened to me before. Like, if I get like a good Gyaradelli, like the caramel ones, I'll get fucking steamy penis, dude. I'm for real.
I don't know why hard like a demon hit me so well.
Do you ever get, alright, it's weekly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, so take it easy on the demon boners.
I know that, I know that like, the, the story, can you just pull up the story? Just type in chocolate and boners.
Boners.
Hard, hard penis chocolate.
No, chocolate recall, boners.
Be very specific because...
I'm pretty sure that like, there, there's a, this is an actual issue because they put too much of it in or whatever. This one? Yes. This is four minutes ago. Holy shit. I mean, there's, there's other stories. Life-threatening amount of Viagra? That I didn't know.
Okay, that, that I understand why it's scary. I mean, a recall is scary because...
Hold on. Which one? Because I love chocolate and I'm scared.
I mean, if it's called fantasy aphrodisiac chocolate, that's boner chocolate.
Oh, yeah, no, they're trying to go for it.
Make love making more desirable, exciting and pleasurable.
I looked it up a little bit on my phone, too. I think this, this was already boner chocolate.
They just added way too much.
Got it. You can buy boner chocolate? You don't need to get it prescribed by a doctor?
Bro, they put everything in chocolate. Fucking mushrooms, fucking...
Yeah, but like, I imagine that boner pills are, which is hysterical that we're calling them.
I mean, they're boner pills.
They're a controlled substance, so like, you can't like, buy it over the counter, can you?
Um, I mean, you can get horny goat weed over the counter.
Yeah, but horny goat weed is not, I think it's just like, uh, like an herb. It's like.
It's like ca- what's the one that cats use?
Catnip?
Catnip. It's just an herb.
Wait, does catnip make cats horny?
My guy.
I thought catnip was like, uh, a slang for food.
No, catnip is a real thing. It gets them like, ready to fuck.
What? I thought catnip was like, uh, just like a, oh, yeah, no, it's their catnip.
No, catnip is like a real, like, it's like horny goat weed, but for cats, dude.
What's it for? Why do they need to be?
I don't know, to get them ready to fuck.
Why do they need to be? Are, they're animals, aren't they ready to go?
I mean, I don't know. I don't know the, the libido of cats, but catnip is a real thing. Look up catnip.
Can you look up and make sure that catnip is like?
Yeah, well, there's also a chance I'm wrong.
I don't think you are. You sound-
What is catnip?
Don't type in, just, just type in, what is catnip?
What is catnip, dude?
Why do we need to specify? What is catnip?
What does it do?
I don't wanna see no AI answer. Give me the real fucking thing.
It's an herb in the mint, native to Europe and Asia, now widespread in North America. Come on. Oh, there, there it is. Oh, uh, it's, it's ability to induce a temporary state of euphoria or relaxation in many cats. Is that horny? We don't know.
I mean, horny is euphoric.
I agree. I agree. Relaxation feels like after horny.
It feels like this is, yeah, if, after the completion of horny.
Yeah, then I'm like, alright, I gotta take a nap.
After the successful completion of horny.
After the catnip, I need a cat nap.
Yeah. I, just so you know, I, I, I like what you did there, but that also kinda sucked.
I guess it's more like they get high than they get horny.
It causes hyperactivity, rolling, rubbing, and playful silly behavior. This is horny.
That's horny, dude. You're getting cats to dry hump?
And that's if they smell it, but if they ingest it, it often acts as a sedative causing, causing relaxation. Okay, so this is kind of like?
Because I remember, uh, we had, we had like, like, it was like a catnip, like those cardboard, like, things, they have like holes in them, they're almost like, like scratching posts.
And it had catnip in it, and my cat used to fucking grind up on this thing like it was making dough.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, so I, I'm, I-
Yeah, I mean, it's a safe assumption. I mean, based on what that that means horny to me. I don't know.
Yeah, I think that's I think we have seen enough to scientifically say that catnip is meant to get cats horny.
Damn, and I'm eating a lot of chocolate this weekend. I mean, it's Easter.
Easter. Oh, so you're just gonna be horny around your family?
I'll tell you what, I I haven't not been horny around my family because of those Cadbury Eggs. My god.
Oh, alright.
Once I start popping those, I'm fucking lit up.
That's not where I thought that was going.
I mean, I mean, we also have been young boys before. I'm oh, I was horny in front of my fa- not in front, but like around my family, because that's where I lived.
Sorry for being 11, dude.
So- sorry for party rocking, dude.
Yeah, sorry for, I didn't put the Good Housekeeping magazine in the bathroom. Someone else left it there. Okay, and that's all I needed.
He was horny maxing.
I was horny maxing. Bro, I was horny maxing. We all were.
We all were horny maxing.
I got caught, uh, like grabbing Becca's butt in front of her family the other day.
Is that crazy?
I think it's a little weird.
What kind of?
Parents.
What's a grab?
Alright. Did you, was it the cheek? Or were you like?
What part of her butt would it have been? Her hole?
No, because I-
Yeah, did you? But that's like, come here!
Well, that's what I mean, like, some people are like, they go in between and kinda like, that's crazy to me.
I don't know who does that.
I mean, some weirdos, but I don't do, I mean, you go for the cheek.
What was, so?
Stop asking me about how I touched my wife's butt, you freak.
No, no, not, not, not that.
I know.
Wait, who, was it, they say anything?
This question.
Yeah, Becca was just like-
No, what did they say?
Becca was like, babe, and then her dad was just like, he like laughed, uh, laughed it off.
Does he laugh like a cat like that?
He does, yeah. Yeah, he does.
Like attacking.
But in that moment, I was-
You thought you were free?
Like, there was no one around?
I mean, I can't help myself, you know, sometimes.
So like, see her butt, I'm gonna grab it, you know?
But I learned time and place.
So she was like, oh, my dad's right there.
Yeah, but if I had, why does she talk like a-
Oh, you fucking idiot, my fucking dad's right there, jerk off!
Like a sanitation worker.
I, uh, I see why this is dangerous, going back to the boner chocolate.
Can't have too horny chocolate.
You can't have too much horny chocolate, but like, they got their name in the press. I've never heard of horny chocolate before, have you?
Boner chocolate, so like, no bad press is bad press, right?
I'm too afraid to indulge in that kinda thing until I absolutely need it.
Yeah, I would be afraid.
Cause I'd be like, yo, if I do this, is my body gonna be like, this is what I need now? And then I can't get boned up?
Well, like, you drink coffee, and it doesn't do that with coffee, right?
Not that coffee's giving you boners, but like, in terms of like caffeine dependency.
I kinda have been flirting with decaf now, cause I'm like, I'm heart maxing at the moment.
You're heart maxing, oh, you're VO2 maxing, that's what he's doing.
I can't go for my runs if my heart rate's already elevated from the coffee.
That makes sense, but...
I, I don't know.
I think it would've been way cooler is if I got a Kit Kat, and I'm just eating a Kit Kat, and I'm like, whoa.
Yeah, you're like, whoa, this is a really good Kit Kat, I guess.
Like, this is weird.
That'd be way cooler than...
Have you ever eaten... You start like, undressing the Kit Kat bar, and like...
It's like, whoa.
Whoa!
Splitting it open?
Oh!
Have you ever eaten something and been like, oh, that like, now I'm horny?
Really?
No, I'm asking, have you ever done that?
I can't think of anything, like, what would be horny food to eat? Cause I know like, the aphrodisiac stuff, but like...
I, I just mean that it was so good that you're like, phew.
I've had some flans where I've been like, this is the, close to sexual.
Flan?
Dude, flan, cause it's like silky smooth?
And it kinda goes like that.
You know what I mean, like an ass?
It's like, oh!
Yeah, yeah, so it's like, oh my fucking god, what's going on? And you're like, yo, chill out.
Spoon me!
Yeah, I'm like, I will, but chill.
Yeah, yeah, uh, but that's the only one I could think of.
Knowing Joey too, like, I had a real good turkey club.
No, Turkey Club.
I had a friend, when he was younger, would-
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Just, after school, just go get Zeppelins, sit down in his living room, just watch porn, eat Zeppelins.
Yo, that kid's a fucking nut job, dude.
He's a maniac.
Yeah, what's going on?
What kind of fu- first of all, where the fuck was he getting Zeppelins all the time of the year?
I got a better question. Why the hell do you know?
He told me.
He's like, "Yo, I just go home and I pop open these 12 Zeppelins and I just like let it rip on."
Would he use like the Zeppeli powder like it was like gym chalk?
No, I don't-
And just like grab his shit?
Just like, "Can't ready." No, I think that's as far as it went. It went, "Well, good session," and then he just-
But what-
Good sessions.
Wait, so, so he was watching it for like, it was like game tape?
Yeah, yeah, like ga- like game tape. Just nothing, just eating Zeppelins and watching, like you're watching a cartoon.
Yeah, no, he's a porn addict, brother.
Is that what it was?
He needs help.
When was this?
Is this guy still alive?
Like, middle school.
Middle school? How about a parent? How about one parent? No one's home to be like, "Hey, not Zeppelins every day and also, this is the living room."
Also, where the fuck was he getting all year-round Zeppelins, dude?
I don't know, that's a fair question. I don't know why it's his first one, but it's a fair one.
I mean, the obvious-
Pizzeria?
Insanity behind the fucking-
Jerk-maxing of his dick with-
with Zeppelins is crazy.
Yeah, it's just- It's just what he did, I don't know. Everyone has their, you know, it's what they did when they were younger. Everyone has it.
I mean, everyone has something, but like, it's not that.
Yeah, I wasn't watching porn like that.
Like, that's a little out there. Like, you're wasting perfectly good zeppelins.
Do you want?
I mean, he's eating them.
Yeah, he's eating them.
This is a very weird... Is this kid still alive?
Yeah, he's still around.
What would make you assume that he died?
This maniac is sitting there every day eating zeppelins. His heart's gonna fucking explode.
He's inside, he's protected. Oh, he might... Yeah, too many zeppelins will put you down.
Bro, the zeppelins clogging your arteries and then the jerking off, bringing your heart rate to a fucking 200 beats per minute is gonna kill you.
I don't think... I think it was strictly game tape. I think it was strictly game tape.
That's worse, dude.
I... I agree that it's worse.
That's way worse.
It's worse? Yeah, like, I don't even know how to... I don't know, that's strange to me.
He was view-maxing? I... I'm getting out of hand now. I need to... I need to stop.
We all are, to be fair.
We need to stop.
It's collective.
I hope that no one gets, like, seriously hurt from this boner chocolate, because that would be sad.
It's life-threatening.
Speaking of cats, last thing. When Frankie walked in today, I... I thought his hat was a cat sandwich.
Can I see it?
I don't even know. And I said the same thing. I was like, where do you see cats?
I don't see cats, but I also don't know what's that... Is that a sloppy joe or something?
It's... It's a beef... A slice... It's like a beef sandwich.
I think it looks like a bunch of jumbled cats.
I...
I guess. I... If I squint and turn it sideways, maybe I could see it like a cat.
No, no, a bunch of cats. It's a bunch of cats.
No, no, I... I... I get what you're saying.
Got it.
It's a... We got it when we... When we threw out the pitch for the... The Bowie Bay Sox. They were like, "Do you want a hat with a beef sandwich on it?" And I said, "Yeah."
Oh, we had the beef sandwiches.
Yeah, and it had cheese on it.
Very happy about that.
Sorry. Last thing on cats? Sorry.
Yeah, I don't think anyone's gonna, I mean, hopefully no one. They say that like it could lower your blood pressure and then you can, you know, it's...
Well, cuz it takes your blood and puts it in your penis. Isn't that what it does?
Uh, yeah, I think that's-
Isn't that what Dr. Mike told us?
Yeah, it like sends a lot of blood there.
It's just like calling all cars, calling all cars. We need you in the dick.
Everyone get to the penis stat.
How does it know where to go?
The bl- well, I mean, when you get a boner, that's what's happening.
Yeah, but like, how do you, how does your blood know like, how does the pill make the blood know like, go to the boner, guys?
I think it's just a, um...
Like circulatory thing?
Yeah, like it's just, it just makes that like easier.
So, oh, okay, so it's like your brain knows that you're trying to get a boner, so you take the pill and it, and it works in tandem with the blood, so it knows where to send it.
Yeah, it's optimizing-
Your brain is playing crossing guard.
I thought you were gonna- Yeah.
You're circulatory maxing.
I'm being serious, I think I need to chill. I was gonna stop.
This does feel like something if you were younger, you'd be running with.
Oh, I would've been miserable with this. I would've been a not good version of myself with this whole maxing thing.
Have you ever taken it, like a Viagra or Cialis?
No, I haven't.
You?
I have the same fear you have.
That it's gonna like ruin you?
I'm gonna need it. And I'm, I'm good.
That's why I was-
Yeah, things are alright.
Yeah, I'm, I'm working. Yeah.
That's what I'm saying, you know, don't, don't fix a leaky pipe. Well, no, you just do fix it.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
There it is, that's all.
Hey, don't fix a leaky pipe, let it leak. Let it get all over the ground.
Car's broken down, don't fix it.
Don't fix your, don't fix the busted tire.
If it ain't, if it ain't broke, don't fix it, that's what I meant, you know? But-
But what if you double fix it?
What does that mean?
Like, you don't just replace the tire, you add spinning rims if you take it, you know?
How the hell would that happen? I don't think that's what that, it doesn't give you like a permanent boner. I think if anything, that's not good.
I do know people... Well, I don't know them personally, but I've heard of people taking some of the pills like that. Cuz it's like, I'm fucking gonna be on my shit tonight.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
And it's like, you really wanna like, really have like one of those crazy boners.
Like you really wanna be like, yo, my, you know, like, you know? Say who? Dun, you know?
Do it with your arm. That would make more sense for you.
Right. I'm not trying to boner max, you know?
You boner max by sitting there, baby.
Uh, I, yeah, I, I, I don't know anyone, if they do it, they don't tell me.
You know, but like.
I feel like having like a really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really hard boner would be painful.
I think that is like, an issue.
Where like, that's why they say like, after four hours, like, all the blood is there. I mean, think of like, if you put, like, if you have something that's like, cutting off circulation to your finger, all the blood is there, it's starting to build up of pressure and shit like that, you need to like, alleviate it, so I imagine it would hurt.
Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. How, how do they even do, oh, did Dr. Mike say they like, drain it?
Yeah, they drain it with a needle.
Chill, bro. Putting a needle into my wiener would be like.
It's like how they do like cauliflower here.
Yeah, I've seen videos of that.
That sucks.
Oh my god, can you imagine? She's like, yo, I just literally can't stop having a boner.
I, I, um, no, I can't imagine, I, I could see that being incredibly painful. But then also, how do you like? You have to like, hold it down?
When you're, yeah, when you're in the emergency room, you're just like, standing like this? Yeah, I need to see the doctor. I'm fine.
I wonder how long that would take, cause the emergency room, have you ever been to an emergency room?
It could take hours, dude.
So like, how long are they there? Like, are you there with just this boner?
God forbid someone comes in with a gunshot wound, dude.
So like, keep that thing.
We gotta go deal with this guy over here.
Oh man, I can't really imagine that. Isn't it like, four hours? If it's, if it lasts more than four hours.
I'll be, I'm panicking at an hour, dude.
At fifty-three minutes, I'm gonna go, I'm dying.
Fifty-three, that's very specific.
Oh, cause he's big, long last guy.
I'm saying the opposite. I'm saying that if my boner lasted, bro, four hours is such a crazy amount of time.
I can't even, like, what do you do with a four-hour boner? What do you do with a three-hour boner?
The dishes?
Can you?
Just gotta stand a foot back.
Gotta stand a whole foot back to my giant cock! Jesus!
You know what I mean. Dude, I can't, how am I gonna do the dishes from across the room?
Because I'm so boner.
You know what I mean. You know what I mean.
Yeah, jeezus.
That's gotta be scary. If you, if you were to make how they have boner chocolate.
If you were to make, like, your business, Joe.
Boner something?
A boner version of a snack or a drink or something. Cause there's like, everything is protein now.
I would put it in a dessert.
Ooh!
Because I feel like, if you, uh...
Like hide it in, like, a slice of cake, like, I'm a dog?
Well, I wouldn't hide it. Why am I hiding it?
I don't know. Oh, like, mix it in with the ingredients?
Yeah, oh, I thought the question you were asking me...
Yes, I am asking that question, I just forgot.
I would put it in dessert because I feel like that's the last thing you eat. Like, when the meal's over and it's like, you had a nice meal, it was a candle at dinner, you're kinda like, throwing eyes.
Okay, you, you specified the dish, but like, what is the actual item?
Oh, um...
Oh, I know what Joey's would be.
Maybe like an ice cream?
Oh, I was gonna, I thought you were gonna go tiramisu.
Um, tiramisu isn't that sexy, cause you could choke on the cocoa, or whatever that is.
By you, you mean, you?
Yeah, yeah. I've, I've almost died at restaurants cause of tiramisu. I'll get some of that and I'll just like, huh, and then the, the dust hits my back and I'm like, pfft!
Yeah, and it's like the cinnamon challenge.
Yeah, it's bad.
If a restaurant offered, like, on the menu, on the dessert menu, it said Afro Dzyak dessert or something.
You, would you try, would you get in it?
I mean, if it's on a menu, you kinda need to.
I think that if, if the date was going there.
I'd be like.
I feel like, I feel like even if it's like.
You wouldn't want to be presumptuous, is what you're meaning. Like, if you know the date is like moving in a good, steady.
Yeah, if like, we've been like looking at each other, we're like rubbing feet and shit, I'd be like, you'll get the fucking aphrodisiac dessert in here.
You passed me the cake.
Yeah, get the fucking ice cream in here and let's go crazy.
Yeah, I mean. I don't know.
You need something with spoons though, because spoons are like sexy.
I know it, I would.
Forks aren't sexy, they're mashed sharp. Spoons are like. You know what I'm saying? You know like a spoon, it's kind of like.
You can do a sexy fork.
Yeah, but I don't like teeth, like. Like when you bite it.
And they like pull it out?
No, I don't like that.
When people, I eat like that, like they bite forks, I'm kind of like, oh.
Yeah. You see them like clean off a spoon fully and you're just like, yeah.
Cause it's like lip, it's like.
I mean, you can lip a fork too.
You could, you could, you could.
What would you say the ratio is of sexiness for a spoon? This way or this way?
If it's, if it's.
You know what I mean?
If it's spooned down, like if it's hump up.
That's sexy.
It sucks.
I thought that one was sexier.
Oh, like when they're like.
Oh, like when they do and they pull it that way. Oh, because you don't want them to be like.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah, cause it's like.
Yeah, no, when you can pull it down like.
Like the ratio of spooned sexiness is very high.
I guess that's, that's a great point. I never thought of it that way. But like, you can pull it out that way too. You're just going against the grain.
It would like catch your lip, it like.
That's okay. That's alright.
Uh, yeah, I mean, you know.
If you got the dessert and it's horny time, it doesn't matter what you eat.
I'm telling you right now, what if it's? Like Cheetos? But the dust is like boner dust. So after you eat your bag of Cheetos, you're just like.
I, I will say, it would be strange for you to be the one being like.
You know, like, because there's no phallic.
Here, here. Eat this fucking.
Take the Cheetos and eat it as if you were me.
Eat it as if you were me.
Wait, wait, wait. Now that's a good question. Do they make lady boner pills?
I guess it's just.
Like, do they make, like, lady, like, because guy boner pills, I guess.
Because he had boner.
It gives you a boner, but like, do they make, like, lady boner pills?
Google.
I feel like.
Lady boner pills.
One day, we're gonna stump you.
Is it just, like, compliments or something?
Being kind?
Is it, is it just being nice?
Being not a piece of shit?
A fortune cookie?
Fucking like. Just like, thinking, like, about someone's feelings?
I think it might be listening or something.
Yeah. Guys get Cialis and fucking Viagra and women get, just like.
Seems like.
You did it.
Yeah, yeah. Just chemicals to boost libido.
Is there, like, a popular one?
Uh, V Y L E E S I.
V L Y.
V, Vlessi?
Blessi?
Oh, I, I think I've, like, heard of that before.
But it's not very, yeah, I guess it's just dudes.
Well.
How are we, how are we considered the horny race, or race, the horny gender, but we need pills?
Uh, yeah, I don't know. If you had asked me at, like, fifteen, like.
This conversation would blow my mind. I'd be like, what?
I swear to God, I just thought, I just thought of this, right? When you just said that, if I could ask myself at 15, if at any point, we get to a place in the world where we can actually, we have the technology to go back in time and ask our younger selves anything.
That would be the greatest episode of a podcast ever.
I would be astounded if we can take the 15-year-old versions of ourselves, edit it.
Oh yeah.
But just ask them questions and like, it would probably be the dumbest thing.
All I, all I pray.
We would undo so much that the world has made.
Yeah. All I pray is that if that technology does exist, like, it's like, we're getting there. Make it just for podcasting. We don't need to make it for anything else. We don't need to have like LeBron James talk to himself on draft day.
I don't need to know what Abraham Lincoln's voice was like.
Yeah, I don't care about that. Okay? Someone tweeted recently and it was just like, you know Abraham Lincoln's hat went flying at the play that day.
Why would they say that?
But dude, that would be the single greatest episode of a podcast that has ever existed.
Can you imagine being able to ask 15-year-old Frankie like,
what's, who's the coolest guy in the world? Like, you'd probably say like something crazy.
I mean, yeah, I would, I would. Who was popular when we were in, in 15, in 2007?
You'd probably say like Jermaine Dupri or some shit.
Damn, and he's still pretty cool. He made it quite the bow wow. So, so, death.
We did an episode of that. Maybe we should revisit an, an episode of that for Patreon years ago. Where we did like a MySpace, do you remember that? We did a MySpace, uh, like quiz and you wrote what you thought my 15-year-old answer would be. I wrote what yours was. Remember Poe de Lica?
Poe de Lica.
Poe de Lica. No, Joey, you were very like, minimize-maxing back then.
What do you mean?
Minimaxing. You'd be like, the answer would be like, what's your, what's a big turn-on for you? And you'd just write like,
I was trying to be mysterious.
You'd be mysterious and shit like that. Where I'd just be like, tits!
Well, I would also, I feel like I would like.
I would also like always have some girl that I was thinking about and be like, I'm gonna make sure she knows.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. And then I would be like, you know.
Brown hair.
Being able to rip a Superman and Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3 with Bucky Lasic.
Yeah, that's a, that's a pull.
Um, alright, we have to go back to advertise maxing.
Advertise maxing.
And then we're gonna go back to podcast maxing, don't worry. Uh, but we do have HelloFresh. HelloFresh is, uh, great, okay? Uh, it makes cooking effortless, so you can always look forward to a homemade meal. With HelloFresh, no two meals will be the same. Alright, this is a great way to get into cooking. Also, if you're not really into cooking, this is a great way to start because they're gonna help you, uh, with all these recipes, okay? You can choose from 80+ global recipes every single month, including Vietnamese, Moroccan, Caribbean, and more. Uh, you can try unique ingredients like lemongrass, goji cheng, and, uh, curry paste that are pre-portioned for you. Um, but they have great stuff. So you go onto the website, you pick what you want, and you're like, oh, that sounds interesting. Get the recipe, you get the pre-portioned ingredients, boom, you make it. Now, you look like a professional chef. It's great.
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Crazy, on the third box. Um, so yeah, hellofresh.com/basement10fm. And lastly here, this podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, online therapy. You can talk to a therapist in a short amount of time. The onboarding is around 48 hours. You can find a therapist for you. They make it very easy that if you don't vibe with the first person that you're talking to, you can just switch, get to the next person. It's a very important part. You need, in order to do therapy efficiently, in my opinion, you need to have someone you kind of vibe with, who kind of understands you. Which is kind of like on your same wavelength. So it's a very important thing. And I don't think it's just for people that have something traumatic going on in their lives. Or anything like that. Like, it's just like going to the gym for your brain.
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Therapy maxing.
That would be therapy maxing.
Yes, we're healing.
Heal maxing.
This has got to stop.
I apologize. I'm becoming, I'm the issue here.
I'm fully aware of that, too. That I'm being the issue.
I'm sorry.
Oh, okay. Um, what was I gonna say? Oh, also. You brought this up beforehand, but the giant Costco chocolate bunny.
Dude.
How much does it weigh?
10 pounds. And it's like hollow, which I'll be honest, my first thought is I want to break it.
Yeah, you gotta break it.
But like, I want to like, drop an elbow on it or something.
Does it have like one of those eyes, like the eyes you can eat?
I think it does. It has like, one of the ears is down, so it's like, oh, it's kind of, it's got a little personality. But it's like 140 beans, dude.
$140? I think it's 10 pounds of chocolate. That's insane.
How much of that do you think realistically you could get through?
In a day?
You could probably do two pounds.
Think so?
It really depends. Like, uh, yeah.
Is it milk chocolate? If it's milk chocolate, I could do, I could do some damage.
Oh my god, if it's dark chocolate, I wouldn't even bite it.
I hate dark chocolate.
It's too, it's too, like, I like things that are bitter. That's too bitter for me.
I don't like it at all, man. It's just not for me. This is the thing?
That's ten pa-
Why does it come with an egg?
This is it, no, it's to show reference, cuz there's no other way to show.
That's big dude. That's chocolate bunny maxing.
There's no other way to show reference, you need something, so this is the size of-
I'll tell you this, that better be good chocolate, cuz if it's garbage chocolate, that's such a waste and I'll be so pissed.
It does look milk.
Also, I will say this too. Not doing America any favors by making this. We look as gluttonous as ever.
Do we know how many calories this is? Ten pounds of chocolate?
Ten pounds of chocolate, that's a great question. I'm gonna assume the whole thing?
Type in a Costco thing, like, exactly, they should have it, I assume.
Yeah, I'm sure they have the nutrition fact somewhere.
Where does this even come in? It made me type in, like, have to type in a zip code and shit, so I just went straight raw, okay. I have the details.
Can we guess?
Yes, go for it.
I'm going to say-
I wouldn't even have a guess.
The whole thing. Well, is it broken down by serving?
I do have servings.
And how many servings are in?
A billion? I don't know, ten pounds of chocolate? You want the answer?
I'm gonna say it's broken up into about a cup, a serving is a cup. Or is it in ounces?
It would be grams, right?
Grams, okay, so I'm gonna say-
What are you guessing right now? Well, is this helping you?
How many calories are in the whole thing, Frank? This ten pound chocolate Costco bunny.
Um...
Twenty-six hundred.
That is insanely low. Twenty-six hundred? Twenty-six hundred, and like a Kit Kat has like four hundred. Like, the big Kit Kats are like four hundred.
I'm fucking sorry!
We're ten pounds of chocolate?
Jesus Christ, why do you have to fucking? Belittle max me?
I'm gonna say like... Twelve thousand.
Okay. There's no way it's twelve thousand.
Do you want, that's too much?
I think that's way too much.
Do you want to change your answer, or?
Uh...
I'll tell you, you're low.
Alright, I'll low, I'll change it one more time.
Alright, one more time.
I'm gonna say... Forty-two hundred.
Um, would I say twelve? Yeah, I'll say twelve. Total calories, one hundred fifty-one servings, twenty-two thousand, six hundred fifty calories.
TWENTY-
Two?
Yo, that'll kill somebody if you have the whole thing.
Dude, it's ten pounds of chocolate.
Yeah, that's insane.
Twenty-two thousand.
Calories.
Brother, that's more than I have in a week.
Yeah, dude, are you kidding? That's fucking crazy.
What's two thousand times seven, fourteen thousand?
Brother, that's almost two weeks of food. Why don't we just not do this?
Are you eating two thousand calories a day?
You try, right?
That's kinda low.
I mean, you try to not have more than that.
Scared me. Yeah, somewhere around there, but dude, twenty-two thousand? That's double what I thought.
Bro, even The Rock.
He said twenty-six hundred.
Twenty-six hundred is bananas.
Yeah, forgive me. I don't know. I'm not.
A Ben and Jerry's crushing that twelve thousand, twelve hundred, I mean.
Dude, that is, that's crazy. That's almost like.
The amount of sugar.
Sad.
Do you know how much sugar it is?
I don't know. I don't have all that. I don't have the breakdown like that.
A hundred fifty servings. So then what's a serving? Uh, a hundred grams? No.
A hundred, a hundred fifty calories per thirty grams, serving?
Grams, dude.
I mean, I wouldn't even, I don't even know how much that is, to be honest.
I don't know, like, if I'm being.
I would just gnaw on this thing's ear.
But I don't understand how someone would get this, like, for serious. Because like, this would have to be for a classroom of children.
Bro, let's get one. Crack it open right here. Let's eat a little bit on it. I actually, I think I have the total sugars here now. I think it's twenty-nine hundred grams.
Yo, that is fucking unbelievable. This is kind of like.
It's over six pounds of sugar across the whole, across the whole bunny.
I understand.
It's ten pounds and six pounds of it is just sugar.
Well, it's, yeah, I mean, it's chocolate.
Dude, I understand things being released for like novelty items.
This is fucking crazy.
This is up there with the supercharged lemonade that killed two from Panera. Do you remember that?
It had like three hundred milligrams of caffeine in it.
Are you sure it's, it's, um, hollow?
I believe it is.
Cause it says the novelty factor of this thing is it's often requires a hammer to break it apart.
Well, yeah, the shell could be so fucking intense.
Oh, you think so?
Yeah, we need to get one. Can you buy one?
Brother, you, if that thing was solid, it would be forty pounds.
I'll try to get one.
Chocolate is dense.
I mean.
Order it to the studio right now.
I mean, is it that much, I mean, of course it's bigger, but is it that much bigger than like a chocolate bunny? Like that you would just get?
I got it. You know what you use this for?
I, I'm afraid to hear what you're gonna say.
You go
in the sauna. And you lay down a blanket and you go in with that and you put it down and then you and your partner just roll around in it and just get fucking covered in chocolate.
You're a disgusting freak. Okay? What the hell are you talking about? How is that the thing that pop into your head? Take this thing into a sauna, let it melt on a towel and roll around in the towel chocolate?
Because like.
I'd get in a, I'd get in a chocolate bath, though.
That's basically what this is.
Yeah, I'm going down like a gust of gloop, dude. If you got a river, I'm fucking drinking out of that bitch.
Just like imagine like you're outside in like a hundred degree weather and then you're just like, you like hug in the, it's in between you and you just fucking do it.
I'll be honest with you, that sounds disgusting.
Because a hundred degrees, I'm like sweating, I'm gross and now I'm, there's chocolate involved and I'm sticky.
And then you just go at it.
Yeah, but just like sticky, I don't like sticky.
Chocolate's not sticky.
In a hundred degrees, I'm sure you'll stick.
I mean, it's like not sticky, it's just kinda like thick. You know what?
This is, this is insane.
That is so, so much. I'm into it, though.
I am a little disappointed, like.
I think I can get it.
Get it?
Do you have a Costco membership?
I don't think you need one if you're going online.
What is, I mean, you think that'll stop me?
Bro, yeah, I think that fucking Dolores at the front.
The rules? I would hope so.
Bro, the rules.
It's got a, we got a nerd over here, I guess.
Not a nerd!
Yeah, but if you ever try to go into a Costco, the fucking Dolores at the front and she'll kick your fucking head in.
Yeah, they'll, they'll beat the brakes off you if you try to go in that one.
I, I tried to go with my mom and she's like, where, where's your, I was like, I'm with her.
Yeah, they'll get ya. This is kind of like I don't know why, but this is sad to me.
This?
Yeah, like, there are people that, like, can't afford groceries, and it's just like, have this novelty ten-pound chocolate bunny, dude.
It's a hundred and fifty dollars also.
We'll be fine.
Anyone who's buying this to eat it is nuts.
Well, instead of buying a bunch for a party, right, like, a bunch of kids, you could just buy this big one.
Yeah, but like, a hundred and fifty servings. What do you have at a party with a hundred and fifty kids?
Yeah, what is this, a fucking assembly?
Yeah, but, you know, once you're having chocolate, you don't actually just like, here's thirty grams. You don't do that.
Okay, but still, so what, each person's having double the amount? Seventy-five people at this party?
Also, children don't like to share. I'm gonna also take this bunny, oh, cute bunny, I'm gonna slam it with a hammer?
This is terrible.
That wouldn't be cool, when you were younger?
When I was younger, right now it would be cool to break this thing apart.
Oh, I'm, I'm looking forward to breaking one, if we can get one.
Should I get two?
Get two, and let's have a challenge, who can punch through it?
I don't like-
He just looked at the camera and goes, "That's not a good idea."
I'm afraid for Frankie to have his own, because of the ideas that he had already.
For him and his partner.
He's gonna come in and be like-
If I come back-
My chest broke out.
If I come out, yeah, and I've, like, broken out in, like, hives, or like, some form of, like, rash. Becca and I rolled around with this bitch.
My pores are, uh, stuffed with chocolate.
I can see-
This is, this is crazy. This is like, this is what everyone believes America is, you know what I mean? Where it's just like, everything's bigger, and it's all chocolate, and it's sugar too. I, I can't, I can't imagine. And also,
who's selling this? Like, I know it's Costco, who's the, who's the seller? And how much does this cost to make?
I see.
Like, what's the markup on this bitch?
I mean, actually, I don't know why I grabbed my phone, I can't, how can I find that?
Like, how much you think this is to make?
What's the cost? Where's it land?
Yeah, landed.
What's the landing price?
What's the landed price?
Um, I, I don't know. It's probably like fucking five bucks.
That's bananas, dude.
Yeah, it's a lot, man.
Now, if this was stuffed with marshmallow?
Or if there was a bunch of jelly beans in there?
Then it would be forty pounds, because you'd put thirty pounds of jelly beans in this thing.
I cannot wait to eat jelly beans on the weekend.
Yeah, you've, you've spoken about your love for the Starburst jelly beans. I don't really care much.
Those are great jelly beans.
I am ready to be a little prostitute for peeps, because I love my peeps. Oh, boy. I like, this time of the year, I like drop hints to Becca, just to remind her to get me peeps. Because my, every year growing up, my mom would get me peeps for like every major holiday.
Uh huh. Wait, what?
Like, you get peeps for Christmas?
Like?
Snowman, Christmas tree.
Fourth of July peeps.
They, I mean, that was not like a peep holiday. Like, it would be like Halloween.
Thanksgiving?
No, but like, not every major holiday. Fucking excuse me.
Well, I didn't even know they fucking did this outside of Easter.
Easter, Halloween. Halloween peeps? They're like little ghosts, or, or pumpkins, or Frankensteins.
I can't believe you like that.
Dude, they're so good.
I don't like peeps.
Oh, I'm so... And I've gone on record and said, the best, like, you know how Oreo makes these like cool little flavors? They'll do like Cinnabon, or, you know?
That is such an insane cookie.
It's such a good one. But they had it one year for Easter, they had a peeps flavor, and it was unfucking believable.
What was it?
It was just like peeps fluff in between, like the peep fluff cream in between the vanilla cookies.
Oh, what? Like a, oh, like an Oreo? Oh, oh, ugh, that sounds gross, actually.
Oh, yeah.
Do you have, uh, fluff in your house right now?
I haven't had that in a while.
We used to like Miles.
You've had it. You've had fluff in your house.
Yeah, Miles, we used to make him fluff in other sandwiches.
Yeah, yeah. Those are good.
Dude, I love fluff.
Yeah, fluff is, what is it?
It's just like whipped marshmallow.
Yeah, it's fucking great.
You can make it with your hands.
I, I, we had fluff for a very short period of time growing up, but I used to get in there whenever no one was looking. Like, I would literally just stick my fingers in it. It was disgusting.
I used to, uh, there was like, in middle school, there was a girl that like, we were like talking online and she said she liked fluff, so I went in with a tub of it one day and I like looked at her and I fluff maxed her.
Girls that she liked fluff and you brought a tub of it?
And ate it in front of her.
And just didn't talk to her, it was just like.
I fluff mogged her.
Yeah, you, you've mogged her?
I mogged with fluff.
Did it work?
No. Got it. No, do, hold on, wait, let's back up before I gave you that answer. What do you think?
Uh, what grade?
Uh, must've been like seventh or eighth.
Oh, okay.
Young.
A real dumb ripe dumb age.
You know?
We were all doing crazy stuff back then.
Yeah, I was fluff, I, I, I was gonna say I was fluffing it. I wasn't doing that.
Um, you like fluff?
No. Like, yeah.
Fluff needs to make a comeback.
Those are opposite answers.
Like, I, I've never, like, not enough to buy it or have it. I never really had it.
Fluff needs to make a comeback. I'd like to see like.
It is very old school.
Yeah, like.
It's like a very early 2000s.
Like, everything is protein, everything is dill pickle, everything was like buffalo chicken, like, let's bring fluff back in.
Just marshmallow?
Just like different, like, fast food chains making like fluff. Seasonal sandwiches or something. Like fluff on a burger doesn't sound that bad.
I mean dude.
No?
I mean, that's a little crazy.
Yeah, it's a burger.
I don't think so. I think it could be fun.
There was at one point I wanted to make a dessert company where, and it was called Spaghetti and Sweet Balls. And it would be like dessert pasta.
Love that.
You could do it. Dessert pasta?
Like the noodles would be like spaghetti noodles, but maybe cookie or some kind of dough.
The thing that's rough is sauce.
Syrup.
Thank you.
Done.
Chocolate syrup.
People do that with, uh, people do that with, uh, like pancakes. They'll put pancake batter in like a squeeze bottle and they'll make pancake spaghetti.
Yeah, it wouldn't actually be pasta, like, you know, it'd be some, it'd be some.
I don't want to make it myself. Let the fast food companies make it. And then we'll buy it.
There's a place, I used to go to my cousin's house for wild card weekend. And there's a place that they would order pizzas from, but they also did dessert pies, bro.
Yeah, yeah, that, uh, everyone has had a banana, strawberry, Nutella pizza pie.
No, this would have like ridiculous shit on it. Like, I mean, obviously it would be like an Nutella like pie or whatever, but then it would also just be like. Dude, I don't know. There's like fucking choc- there's brownie and like the, in the whole, it's like a pizza, but it's like brownie and fucking marshm- and like, I'm like, yeah, like smores.
Now just imagine how good it would be if like a fast food company got it.
Why do you love fast food?
I'm just saying, like, it's easier when they make it.
Oh my God. I, you know what, you know what would make this idea better? A corporation.
They've never.
Just like in the trusted hands of fucking Wendy's or something.
Who trusts them?
Everyone does.
Not I.
Why not?
They are, they're, they're Wendy's.
Not necessarily Wendy's. I'm not talking about Wendy's.
I bet you'll love it. Wendy's nuts go drag across your face.
Yeah, yeah. We, we do have to do something though, because. Yeah. The, the, the thing is.
You laugh like a wicked witch.
He does.
And also.
Frankie, can you?
Ah, ah, ah, ah, let me, give me my space, one sec. Give it to me, I earned this.
Frankie, hit him with a got him, please.
Got him.
First of all, can we, the only problem that I have with him doing that is that you, you stumbled through the got him.
I still got you, though.
Wendy's, you could love Wendy, fucking Wendy's on your balls in your face.
I get too excited, I start to see stars a little bit.
What did you say?
I bet you'll love them when Wendy's nuts drag across your face.
As soon as he said Wendy, I was like, alright. As soon as you, how, how long did you have that geared up?
I mean, the first time I brought up fast food in this episode, which was.
I was, I was wondering.
That was 20 minutes ago, Frank.
I was wondering why you kept doing it.
I was trying to bring it right back around to it. Give me some credit. Give me some. Right before this episode, I said to Joey, I was like, are we still doing the got ems? Because I, it'll reach a point where Joey's just like, alright, enough. And I think I might've just got us there.
No, I mean, you know.
He's saying, you just be more classy with it.
Not classy. Like, he gets overly excited, he's like, Wendy, Wendy, Wendy's on your face and your balls are out. You fucking idiot, got him.
But you gotta understand, it's so, it's so, like, I got you. Like, it's perfect. I set it up and it worked. I get very excited about it. That's like four got ems I got on him.
You, uh, you worked on that one for a while, too, so.
And I found a nice, natural way to work it in, too.
Natural?
I mean, give me credit.
Because now, I feel like you always like, oh, I know all of them when they're coming. We're gonna, I'm gonna get you. Now I'm not even going after him.
I don't, I don't even think, you, you won't be able to, because he's a little sneaky boy over there. He'll be like this.
He's a little sneaky boy over there.
Sneaky boy. You'll be like, hey, Ann, how was your day? And he'll go, how was that?
How was my day?
My day in your mouth?
My day in your nuts?
You could try.
You were the coolest kid at lunch. I know you were. We get it. No one's gonna got you. No one's gonna be in Mario Kart. You win.
No, my friend had the fruity Pebble bar snack.
That's a great snack.
He was the coolest one.
Remember Kudos bars? Those were cool.
Oh, what was?
They were the ones, they were like granola with chocolate underneath and on the top it would be like M&M's.
I do, I do, I do, I do.
Cosmic brownie.
That's basically plastic, though. I love cosmic brownies, but if I had one, it's not a brownie.
Do you know?
It's gum.
Do you remember the pink snowballs?
Never ate that.
I wasn't big into those. I did like Twinkies.
Did like Twinkies.
Why'd you just twitch?
I thought about Twinkies.
He's like, I like Twinkies.
No, but cosmic brownies, I get why you were cool for having them, but like, if I'm buying a box of ten and they're thirty cents each, something in this is not real.
Also Little Bites.
Little Bite, we still get Little Bites for the kids.
Do you?
Yeah, Mini Muffins, they call them.
Ruby loves her Mini Muffins.
My house was not a Little Bites house, but...
You guys didn't have a lot of snacks. You had a lot of drinks.
We would do...
I remember a lot of drinks. You always had like breakfast shakes and you had...
You had juice.
I mean, we had juice. But what do you mean breakfast shakes?
Breakfast shakes that Keith would have all the time, dude.
Like an Ensure thing?
I don't know what the brand was, but like, it was like a packet of breakfast shakes and he would have them all the time.
I think one time there was Ensure in my house. I believe it was for my grandma, but we used to crush them. Yo, have you ever had an Ensure?
No, what is it?
It's like a, it's like a...
It's like a sup- not a supplement drink, but it's like, yeah, there's like.
A meal.
It's like a kind of a meal replacement.
But it's, but it's.
But it's small. And it's like they're like chocolate milk, but they have like nutrients in them or whatever, like vitamins and shit and like protein. I don't know.
What's the one, uh, nu- what's the, the one that like, it's like a juice though?
V8?
No, no, no, no. It's like Pedialyte. Is it like Pedialyte?
No, no, no, cause that's just for like hydration. That's just like electrolytes and.
Vitamin B or some shit. I don't know, but no, this was more of like, if you're deficient in certain things, then you like drink.
I know what they look like. They look like the little cans.
They're like little bottles like this and it has like.
Cat food kinda, like catnip.
Looks like catnip?
No, I don't know what catnip looks like.
I thought they come in bottles and like you crack the top off.
Yeah, there was something like that, but there was some that was kinda like cans too. Um, I don't know, but we had snack, we had, we were, we had a lot of fruit roll ups.
You always had, uh, you always had ice pops and chocolate in your freezer.
We always had ice pops.
Always had chocolate in your freezer.
Ice pops were big in my house.
Brother, the first, I remember the first time in college. When I realized like I can buy those ice pops myself. I had a freezer full of fucking four hundred of those ice pops.
I really do appreciate.
I took a picture of it cause I was so impressed.
I'm impressed with myself here. I, I really appreciate how you can only buy those in the hundreds. Like it's like a box of a hundred.
Because one of them is gone in forty seconds. When's the last time you had one?
Don't even know.
They're not like, they're not great for you, but like, it's like each one is like five grams of sugar. It's not as bad as you would think.
Wouldn't even stop me. I lo- like there's nothing like a well-placed ice pop.
Those fl- flavor ice is the one.
Yeah, flavor ice.
Name your favorite colors from least to most.
I got a hot-
See, I go back and forth with shit.
I got a hot take for you.
I feel like your hot take I'm gonna agree with.
But I like, like, the green's very good. I like the green, but I also like-
I like cuz it's lime.
The pink is great.
The pink is the best one.
The pink is the absolute best one.
So I go back and forth from pink, but low key, I fuck with the grape.
All of them are good. I love, my top two are pink and orange. Orange was like my favorite-
Meh.
Like, ice pop flavor as a kid.
And then I bit into a creamsicle once and I was forever ruined.
Creamsicles are tough.
Dude, creamsicles suck so bad. I don't know where we've come as a society that people are just like, you know what's gonna make this ice cream better? A layer of orange?
Yeah, I don't know.
Get the fuck outta here.
You know what's crazy? One time, I went to the Poconos with Greg. And we stopped at-
Is that not the weird part?
It wasn't just us. No, but we went, we went to the Poconos, uh, as just like a summer vacation thing. And we went to the supermarket there and we were like buying stuff for the house and they had ice pops, but they were alcoholic. Dude, each ice pop was eight percent alcohol.
Yeah dude, I've had those.
I've had those. They'll get ya.
I had them at the lake, of course, cuz they're all alcoholics up there.
I mean, when I was with you, uh, with the, the-
The eighties theme top of the hill party when we had the ice pops, that's when they had them.
Yes, and we were quite inebriated.
Good times.
I was smoking a cigar. That was probably the last cigar I've ever had.
You were, and you had, I'll never forget, it's the video of you dancing, but you're just stepping forward and back with a cigar in your mouth. To like, we're in seventies attire, which I don't think you were wearing seventies attire, you just had a bandana on.
I had a wig on.
Did you have a wig on?
I did have a wig on and I had a, a headband and I had a tie dye t-shirt and then that was it.
Oh yes, I remember the t-shirt now, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And you were just, you were smoking a cigar, living your best life.
Yeah, that was probably my last cigar. It was also probably my last ice pop.
Let's get some ice pops in here.
Yeah, that's depressing.
We can't have your mouth with an ice pop in front of that mic. There's no way.
I don't mean for when we're recording, brother. I would like an ice pop, period.
Oh, yeah, we could do that.
Just to have.
I got you. Yeah, I got you.
Not the alcoholic ones, you freak, because I know he's gonna come in and she'll be like, "You like those? Those are 800% alcohol."
That's Aunt for you.
No fun.
Well, I guess that's all we have for today. No ice pops. But yeah, thank you guys so much for watching. Frank, where can they find you?
The Frank Alvarez everywhere. Go check out Patreon, patreon.com/thebasementyard. Thank you guys to... For all the continued support. You guys are support-maxing. Big time. Big time.
I just looked at the screen.
And one of the suggestion buttons is lemon button.
Oh, yeah. Probably gotta bury that.
Gotta get rid of that?
Yeah, probably gotta bury that.
Oh shit, Aunt, where can they find you?
Find me at Aunt Prisco on Instagram.
Alright, and go follow me at Joe Sanagall. Go follow the show at The Basement Yard, and that is all. See you guys next time.
Page updated October 30, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated