The Basement Yard
Original podcast
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23,454 words · 6 speakers
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Welcome back to the basement.
Welcome back to the basement yard. Today, me and Frank are on the same side because we have a special guest, the smartest person who's ever been on this show by 100 million miles.
Definitely.
Dr. Mike is with us.
I don't know if this is a diss or a compliment.
No, no, no, no, no. How is that? That's, well, it's out now.
To be fair, to be fair, in our current setup, the only other people we've had on here are Red and Link, and they're very smart. I forgot about them. They're very smart.
But not as medically smart as you.
And part of them is really tall.
Bro, what is with, hold on, wait, hold on, hold on. I'm gonna say this. If you're watching someone on YouTube, chances are they're over 6 and 1/2 feet tall. I don't know what the fuck. This guy walked in and I'm expecting Dr. Mike to come in and he's like 5'10".
A doctor, yeah.
Like a doctor.
I've always had short doctors.
Well, because a lot of them have a god complex. And that's crazy.
That's crazy. I mean, it's true. I mean surgeons.
That's right.
I would probably throw surgeons.
That's what I was referencing as well. Do you find that a lot of doctors are shorter than you?
I think it's a mixed bag.
You're 6'2"?
Yeah, 6'3".
Me too.
Yeah.
No, you're not.
Well, if I'm wearing my Vomero Premium Pluses, or whatever they're called, then I'm easily 6'5".
Are those doctor shoes?
No, those are like the new Nikes that have the amount of padding that basically you don't need to hide your inserts.
Nice, nice, nice. So you're going like Tom Cruise level inserts on these shoes?
I'm proud of those inserts.
Good for you, my friend.
Yeah, maybe I should wear an insert.
You definitely should.
Just like, alright, you're getting crazy now.
Or get the surgery that like can make legs longer.
Don't do that.
Is that a thing?
I heard it's very painful, though.
It's called a limb.
They take a hammer and they, hey, we're gonna let him.
Alright, shut the hell up.
I've also never performed this procedure, nor have I consulted on that procedure, but yes, that's the...
They break it, but then they do like, uh...
They create a little space in order for the bone to heal, and they progressively do that over and over.
I saw this in a movie recently. Your bones will just heal towards each other?
Yeah. The space is really little, and over time...
Oh, okay.
And they have these screws that they tighten, and they keep growing in space.
Bro, the materialists. Is that the one? Dakota Johnson? You've seen it too, right? Pedro Pascal is like 5'2", and then all of a sudden she finds out, "Oh, he got the tall guy surgery", and he's like 6'1".
So he Benjamin Button?
He reversed Benjamin Button.
Okay.
How long is that process?
It's long.
It's tough to do.
And imagine, you're not walking comfortably, so there's a lot of rehab required for that.
It sounds like years.
And it sounds expensive, like it's like...
I'm sure it is, yeah.
Kind of classified as cosmetic, as us medical professionals would understand.
Well, it is in some cases, but there are cases medically where someone has, let's say, bowed legs, and they need to straighten them. So in those situations, you're using the procedure for function purposes.
We all knew that person in high school that walked like they rode a horse. I know, but they always had a great jump shot for some reason.
Unbelievable jump shot, but they shot it like this.
Well, you know, now everyone who is one of those three-point shooting champions that set all the Guinness World Records, they don't have good form.
Oh, you're talking basketball, brother. You're above my head. Go back to the medical stuff.
You haven't seen...
I'm not, basketball's not my thing. I'm a baseball, football guy.
Okay, okay.
This is the basketball guy over here.
But you've seen what I'm talking about, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They do this very awkward shooting form, that if you play in a pickup game, you'll get blocked 9 out of 10 times.
Right.
But when you're just shooting by yourself, you can make 10 out of 10.
You can just hit him.
Doc, you ball up?
You ball up?
You got a jumper?
Tall. This guy's tall, too. He'll fucking... He's like, you know... I'll grab boards. He's not great.
I played in Madison Square Garden before. I played some fun places. Yeah? Where did you guys play?
The main stage, bitch!
No, no, no, like for what?
We did a show there.
Ah, oh!
Alright, that's a bigger flex.
That's kinda cool, though, too.
If you said Hulu Theater, it would've been a better laugh than that.
I know.
I played on the court. What?
This is not your show right now. Back to us, bitch!
Hey, what the hell are you wearing? I was a plague doctor, and I was gonna wear this, but I couldn't. And breathe and you guys didn't send it to me fast enough, so.
I'm just gonna hold it.
Just show them.
That's what doesn't matter.
Okay, shove it down your throat.
But yeah, I played, I played on the court.
What the hell?
Ew, say. Yeah, sorry about that. Um, well, thanks for joining us today.
Of course.
We really appreciate it. Um, we're excited. Now that we know that you also play basketball, we're gonna challenge you to a game of basketball one day.
Hype.
Um, but, uh, we, in preparation for the show, we, we talk a lot.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, professionally and, um, some would argue stupidly. And, uh, we often pretend that we know the answers to a lot of what we're talking about when chances are, one of us doesn't.
One of us is on a hot streak lately.
He had one episode last week that he said like two things that were correct.
In a row?
What were the things?
Well, one of them, you know, put this one to bed. You don't need to be a doctor to figure this one out. But he can't get an expression correctly. And he said, what was it? Which part? You know it.
Uh, uh, so here's the expression. Tell me if you've heard it, okay?
Uh-oh.
The pen is mightier than the sword, but the tongue can lick them both.
That's incorrect, bro. That's an insane thing.
My only question here.
Oh, yeah.
What phase of your life were you hearing? And then what phase of your life were you repeating that statement?
Um.
You repeating it with the most confidence on this show?
And when have I repeated it? All phases. Every phase. Every, as soon as I heard it, I said, wow, that's really good.
He's a walking example of if you just say something like definitively.
People usually just get out of it.
Wow.
You know what I mean?
Well, hold on. Now you're painting me as some sort of psychopath here.
What do you think the show is?
I mean, um, you just did a video where you, well, not just it, but like you, you talked to a bunch of like.
Oh, surrounded.
Yeah, surrounded by like anti-vaxxers and stuff.
Yes, yes, yes.
So you've probably dealt with people like Joey and I. We're like, we're gonna say it. We're gonna be confident about it. I'm not an anti-Maxxer either. Let me make that very clear. In the generality of like, we're gonna say it, we're gonna be confident about it, and we're not gonna look up any truth behind it.
How do you, can you confirm that you've dealt with people like that?
I've dealt with people who were less interested in being immune to disease and more interested in being immune to logic and facts.
Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was honestly impressed with your restraint.
Dude?
Watching that video.
I would still.
Why, you would fistlock?
I would just be like, I got a certain, because you were just so patient and nice with them, that I'm like, at a certain point, because they are saying offensive things.
At one point, someone's like, "No, because I actually read."
Yeah. No, she goes, "I actually read and studied," which is wild.
I mean...
Because I was like, "Are you discounting the decade-plus of education? You thought I didn't read?"
So, this is like a serious question that I have now.
Oh, this one?
Yeah, like, in your schooling...
No, I do not lick swords.
Well, technically speaking, the tongue can lick both a pen and a sword. But like, did you have to go through like, training on like, how to deal with people like psychologically and stuff like that?
Yeah, it's called medical school, like... I mean, first of all, why is everyone giving me so much credit for being patient? Are your doctors douchebags to you?
Absolutely. Um, I think it's...
Really?
Kinda, yeah.
Are they?
I got into a fight at the hospital last year. I told you this.
With a physical fight?
I couldn't get up. I was in the hospital for some stuff. Infections. Bad things.
That's the medical term.
We need the plague doctor to come in and confirm.
But, uh, so a doctor came in to speak with me and was, you know, I was expressing my frustration with the facility, with my situation, and he cut me off. And he's like, "Listen, young man, consider yourself lucky that you're being treated..." And like, listen, I am very much so, like, when it comes to like, customer service representatives and people dealing with people like that, I am very patient. But in that situation, like, to sit there and just be like, "You listen to it", like, basically wagging his finger in my face, I was like, "What the..."
So that was a god complex.
I got, it was, right?
It happens.
I got fucking heated, and Becca, like, my wife had to, like, put her hands on me, and she's like, "You need to chill."
Wow, okay.
Frankie left a bad Yelp review after that.
Oh, yeah. This is big on Yelp. I'm not big on Yelp, I've never Yelped. I've never Yelped. Uh, but, so, we, in preparation for today's episode, uh, wrote down a couple of questions that we need help with.
Okay, personally.
Uh, well, no, no, no, not personally. No, no, no. I mean, maybe one or two that might be personal for me. I cannot confirm that all of them will be personal for any of us, maybe Ant.
I ha- I see at least seven on there that are specifically personal to you. So when we got to them.
I don't like that. Um, so, I guess we can kind of start with the top one, you brought up in one of your videos. Someone in this room has incredibly wet ears.
Hmm.
Now-
No, that's not how you say it.
Wet, soaking wet.
Like, he says, "Wet, wet."
Yeah, say it. Just say a regular wet.
Wet.
Mmm, you're trying to mute it now. Now you're showing off.
You said "regular wet."
Say it how you would normally say it.
I have wet ears.
Yeah, that's crazy. What is this?
That's interesting.
That's in, yeah, there's something going on there.
I do.
Medically, what the hell is that? Yeah. Why would he have wet ears? Why would he have wet ears and, like, could he, like, do something to help?
Also, they're wet.
Right now? Like, a lot? Right now.
With these on, and this hat, eventually they'll be, they'll be soaking.
Well, that's sweat.
No, no, no, inside, you know?
Okay. Well, like, why would he have wet ears?
I'm worried about infection.
Yeah, okay, yeah.
Because that wet can be discharged.
Ooh, that's a bad one.
That's, that's concerning.
Gross word.
Um, also, genetically, his earwax might be thinner.
Oh, you're talking shit about your dad, too. Like, yo, your dad is-
My dad's ears suck, too.
Thin earwax. Your dad's got thin ears, dude. So, like, wait, wha- hold on, now this is a serious question, too.
There's different textures to earwax.
Some people have thicker ones?
Some people have drier, thicker, some people have wetter.
Be honest.
Thinner.
You like those videos of people, like, getting them out of their ears?
I hate it.
What?
Hate.
You hate getting the earwax out?
Yes.
Why? I love them.
Do you know how many people come to me with busted tympanic membranes because they were digging around in their ears after watching a video?
We're just, we're gonna, we're gonna- We're gonna back that up. Real quick. What's the definition of that? What's a tympany?
Eardrum.
So you could've used the layman's terms.
Well, I had to flex.
Yeah, that's right.
Where is the eardrum? So if I, cause I have one of those things.
Yeah, don't look for it.
So it's next to the, the, the hammer, uh, and the cock-
Ooh, the stabsies, you're giving me all the-
Right, I got, I got stabsies, baby. No, there's like the cochlear thing in there, right?
Yeah, the cochlear nerve, so-
I fucking know shit, bro.
Wait, this is really interesting because everyone loves digging in their ears with Q-tips, and that is the bane of every ENT doctors world and family medicine. Because they create so much irritation inside their ears, they get something known as otitis externa.
Oh god.
Sounds like a recipe.
Outer ear infection, that's all it means.
We like creating fancy terms for-
Well, don't, don't like young kids-
He likes doing that too.
Can't they, you can stop that. Can't, can't you get like a surgery to prevent like chronic ear infections or something like that?
No, what they do is they put, uh, tubes in, in order to decrease that pressure from people who get recurrent infections.
For kids usually.
So how am I supposed to clean my ears?
You don't, dude.
Self-cleaning.
Let them cure themselves, yeah.
Self-clean?
Yeah. If you get a buildup of earwax and you're like, "Oh, now I can't hear because I have a buildup of earwax", there's drops that melt the earwax, make it more wet.
Nope.
And it cleans itself and it has a good shape. Actually, the ear canal is shaped such that it's supposed to make the earwax naturally come out and you could just wipe the outside, which is what's happening.
Bro, I'll be hanging out sometimes and I'll just go like that and fucking earwax will fall out.
Yeah, for us. If the Q-tips aren't supposed to be in there, why does it feel so good when you put them in your ear?
Ooh, is there like a G-spot in your ear?
Uh, I've never heard it asked that way.
What happens when you use Q-tips, man?
I don't use Q-tips, I am an anti-Q-tipper.
Yeah, I haven't, I haven't used a Q-tip in a, in a, in a while, in a minute.
The Q-tip is meant for external cleaning purposes.
Like the, right here?
So, don't put it inside your ear. And what happens is if you have already irritated skin inside the ear canal, and then you're rubbing it, just like when you have an itchy spot from like eczema, it's itchy and it feels good to scratch it, but then you're damaging your skin. So same principle, just inside your ear.
I'll tell you what.
There was a time where I've probably done irreversible damage to my ear. Cause I'm thinking that if I got this thing, like I've heard that you don't use a Q-tip, you're pushing the earwax in and that causes problems. But, so I'm like, okay, that's the only issue with Q-tips, cause I don't know.
So you were scooping?
So I was scooping.
Oh, that's dangerous.
Scooping's bad?
Well, yeah, cause you're hitting the skin inside there.
Again, earwax is also protective. It prevents the ear canal from drying out. It prevents bugs from wanting to hang out there, it catches debris.
Yo, I know.
How often, how, how often does that happen?
That's a big thing.
That happens.
That shit happens, my fucking, I know someone that like, they were on like a canoe kayak situation down a river and a fucking moth flew in their ear, dude.
Is that something you see?
I mean, not often.
Okay, good.
But I did just have a pediatric ear doctor come on my show, tell me about a situation where a child was eating a sandwich and had some throat pain afterwards, and they thought, oh, it's a barbecue, maybe there was a metal wire grill brush stuck in their throat. And they did see something on the imaging, but they couldn't quite see what it was. Any guesses?
Spider.
Ant.
I, I, I don't know.
Prey mantis.
Potato chip.
That's your guess?
They're spiky, they hurt sometimes, I don't know.
The final letter of whatever it is that you're saying is always interesting.
Potato chip. What, potato chip?
Cockroach leg.
No!
I mean leg, that's not that bad.
Leg with the little spines?
Oh, that's why I was hurting?
I don't know what the medical term for the cockroach leg spine is.
Yeah, it's like one of those, you know what I mean?
They're barbed, like.
Barbed, yeah, barbed.
I told you dude, I told you I'm the smart one here.
It's a cockroach leg.
Well, you grew up in the same, well, you grew up in New York, you're around our age, you're a couple of years older, which means you're basically ancient to us. Um, did you ever hear the myth of the person that got like cockroach eggs in their tongue or something like that? Do you remember that? I remember it was like one of those like 90's myths that like, like Marilyn Manson, taking, you know, the ribs out or something like that. But it was like, the story was like someone licked an envelope that had a cockroach egg on it, and it got into like the crease of their tongue, and then they had like tongue pain, and they cut it open and fucking like cockroach eggs fell out and shit like that.
Oh my god.
This sounds like a Ripley's Believe It or Not situation.
It was, it was, it was. And it was hosted by Dean Cain, and he's never not been anything but incredibly accurate about everything.
No idea who that is. Um, now I'm just terrified. Cause this thing, can this, can I, can my... I'm just, I just irritated my ear, but it's fine, I can.
Well, I'm hoping you solved it. Like, your body's immune system solved it. And the repair mechanism solved it.
Well, I haven't, I also didn't know that you just don't clean out your ears. You're not supposed to do that.
It's self-cleaning.
Self-cleaning. Ears and vaginas.
Two miracles of life.
No, no, self-cleaning.
Parts of the body.
Yeah, no, no. And a dog's mouth? I don't know.
No, no, you should brush that.
I'm not trying to do this to Frank in front of guests, obviously, but, uh...
This is good.
The cockroach egg case, hatching on the tongue, a persistent urban legend, and a hoax.
That's what, I said it was a popular rumor. I didn't say it was real.
You asked him if...
You tried to get me into that.
No, I tried to ask if you've ever heard of something like that.
How much did RFK pay you to say that?
Yeah, that's crazy that you're trying to...
None.
You're trying to get me, aren't you?
He's paid me nothing, trust me.
He does love whole milk, though, so we don't know.
To be fair, whole milk is delicious.
As long as you don't go raw, we're okay.
In a hot tub with Kid Rock, though, I don't know any drink that would be good enough to have that.
Are you a big fan of the raw milk, uh, content?
I am not, I'm the enemy of raw milk.
You're an anti-milker. Anti-raw-milker.
An anti-raw-milker, yeah. Yeah, no, I mean, that is...
I think of myself less as an anti-raw-milker and more of an anti-get parasite, bacteria in your colon-er.
Oh, yeah, oh, we're on the same page, really. We are right there.
I'd like to have that out of my colon as well. What?
I'm not even gonna talk about your colon. And, can you, uh, tee up the next question for us, please, sir?
Which, anything specific from your, uh, life?
See, stop doing this.
Frankie, ask here, uh...
I didn't ask anything. We were asked to provide questions and I provided a ton.
Okay, so, does eating one hot dog really take 10 minutes away from your life? Doesn't apply to you at all?
That one is me. That one is 100% me, yeah.
10 minutes.
Well, they said, I mean, like, yeah, how do you imagine it?
The, the medical at large.
Big, big doctor.
Uh, big doctor, uh...
These population studies cannot be translated into statistics that simplis- that simplistically.
So, when we say like, "Oh, in general, nuts are healthy to eat," yes, people love nuts, people should enjoy nuts, but the nut is not going to make you live eight years longer.
So, these are epidemiological studies that have been oversimplified, so no, a hot dog does not shorten your life by 10 minutes.
Thank god, but it, but it could be a factor in...
It couldn't... But it's an ultra-processed meat, which you should limit in your diet.
Well, what if you get like, good deli hot dogs?
Still ultra-processed.
What if it's the 4th of July? What if, yeah, like, what if it's like, does the, does the, having it with a beer, or seven beers, offset the damage of the hot dog?
You sound like, I had this, this is sick, I had a doctor come on my show and tell me that a healthy diet can remove the negative impacts of smoking. And he's like, "If you smoke, you can live longer."
That's a great point.
He said that on my show, to my face.
He's like, "Yo, if you just..." You ever want to just rip heaters?
Fucking bang, like, "Mmm."
I want to hit my head against something.
Yeah, I mean, that's why I couldn't believe you, when you're watching the, when I'm watching the surrounded, I'm like, dude, if this is me.
No, the smoking thing got me like, hard, it hit me in the heart. I'm like, you're, you operate on people's hearts, and you think smoking makes people live longer?
And he's just saying like, if you eat healthy, but you just...
Yeah, and he said, "The longest living people in the world smoke, so we should also..." And I'm like, "Bro."
What is with that, by the way?
That is a, that is a...
There's like, old Italian women who live in the hills, and they're like, "Oh, I'm 109, and I have wine every day, and I, you know..."
Well, yeah, she's the one that makes the video that goes viral, but her 99 friends that had the same lifestyle that didn't live long, no one's hearing their TikToks from the grave.
The ones that died at 42.
Yeah, exactly.
That's why when like, RFK goes, "We gotta make America healthy again," I'm like, "Which timeframe do you want to go back to? Because in the 1900s, we lived to age 30, so..."
Right, yeah, exactly.
I, I...
It's like, this is how our ancestors lived, and I'm like, "They were 5'2".
Toast up meant death.
He would visit you in that outfit to help your toast up.
Yeah, diarrhea.
If you could die from diarrhea, I'd be dead 100 million times.
Worldwide, people are still dying of diarrhea.
Yeah, it's a problem elsewhere, we know this, obviously, as medical professionals.
Now I'm gonna hit you.
No, like, obviously, we're big fans of hot dogs here, and we like to indulge every now and every day.
I'm not a hyper optimist. Enjoy a hot dog.
How much you like hot dogs?
I love hot dogs.
Fuck yeah, dude.
Sauerkraut, mustard.
Oh, you lost me.
He hates mustard.
I hate mustard.
Love sauerkraut, though. Love sauerkraut. Just, it tastes like just garbage to me.
He had an experience when he was younger, and I think that like it just carried.
Oh, yeah. It shaped the rest of my life.
What was the experience?
I was like...
Feel free to say pass.
Oh, no, no, I'm gonna tell you.
If you ask me for a story...
This could be wildly traumatic.
If you're asking for a story, you're getting it.
My father died and I'm mustard addict.
No, no, no, no. I was like, young, I was like five or six.
They cut open his tongue and there was mustard seeds everywhere.
Yes. Really, just like when you're a kid, when like you want, you need to know exactly what you're eating all the time.
I was like five or six and someone gave me a bologna sandwich, and I fucking love bologna.
And I didn't realize that on the bologna sandwich was mustard. So when I bit into it, I...
It's the shock.
It was so shocking to me. And then since then, I've not had it. I mean, we could pull back the fourth wall a little bit. I've had mustard recently and like in the near, like, recent fut- like...
The recent future.
The recent past.
The one that's coming soon.
The recent past, and it's just like, alright, but like, yellow mustard, I can't even, I can't even stomach it.
So, golden? Honey, what's the...
I've had like, like, like, um...
You wouldn't dip a Wendy's nugget in a honey mustard?
No, no, no, no.
Honey mustard's crazy that you don't like that.
No, I can't.
Honey mustard's candy.
Uh, but what's in it, though?
Honey and mustard.
Well, in the Wendy's one, that's questionable.
Yeah, I mean, we don't...
Guar gum.
They, they go like, never frozen meat, but you don't know what's in a honey mustard.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I, I forgot what it was. I think it was like a Starbucks drink or something one time, and they like put out this unicorn frappe or something like that. And literally, one of the ingredients was pink.
And I was like, how is that legal to say just pink?
Pink.
I know it's pink.
Yeah, well, we just wanted to make sure we knew where you stood on, on hot dogs.
How often, how many a year would you say on average you have? And be fucking honest, doc.
Cursing at the doc.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, doc.
I'll have
20 a year.
Dude, that's a good number. 20 a year?
God damn it!
Wow!
Only because when I do indulge instead of hot dog.
It's crazy.
I do three.
You have to.
If you're at the barbecue, right? And people are like, "I'm taking orders. Hot dogs, hamburgers."
And are we counting?
You just go three dogs?
Pigs in a blanket, no, those are one-
Pigs in a blanket, doc. We're talking about hundreds now.
Like, this is crazy.
That's not a matter of 20 in the hole.
The big places where I have them are at sporting events.
Cause I know Madison Square Garden, as you experts will know.
Right, right.
They have fancy foods now.
Yeah, they do.
You can get like a filet of fish, sushi, and weird stuff. So, when I go to a sports game, I get a hot dog.
That's how I am.
Not per se a healthy food, but also-
I'm at the game.
One in Rome.
Life is not healthy.
That's right. I remember you-
No one gets out alive. All the good sword tongue quotes you got.
Thank you so much. I appreciate it.
No one gets out alive. It's true. Only two things in life are guaranteed. Death, taxes.
Well, some people don't pay taxes. Dad, looking at you.
Dad, are you there? Answer me, Dad!
Um, so, but when you're at a barbecue, there's hamburgers and hot dogs. What's the order there? Do you go one and one?
I try and pick. Like, I'll go either team hot dog or team cheeseburger.
Does it depend on who's making them?
No.
Oh.
I don't discriminate. A hot dog's a hot dog.
Okay, I, I can't believe I'm saying this on camera. I've never had a bad hot dog.
Yo, me neither! I mean, it's a hard one to mess up.
Eh, you can mess it up. You ever had a Colombian hot dog? Actually, you know what? I have had a bad hot dog. Now that I think about it.
What? Who made that?
Bro, my dad, when I was like a teenager-
Your dad made it, okay.
No. When I was like a teenager, my dad was like, "Oh, we're going to a Colombian burger joint." And I don't know if you've ever gone to like, the Jackson Heights area of Queens. It's like Little Columbia.
And they gave me a hamburger, a cheeseburger and a hot dog that had like, I, I couldn't even tell you what was on it. It was like-
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It was wetter than like if you were just taking it out from underwater. The hot dog. Yeah, and it was bad. I couldn't eat it. I got sick from it. It was that bad. I think there was like raw ham on there at one point.
Oh, that's a weird choice.
Which like, I love ham.
But that's not the hot dog's fault then.
It's the, it's the person who cooked it. It's the person who cooked it.
Additional...
Akutramont.
Akutramont, good word.
That's right. What's our, what's our, what's our next question before we keep going down the hot dog trend?
I have to say, the worst hot dog I ever had, now that I think about it, is, in Russian culture, I came to America when I was six, my parents would make me a hot dog, cheap food, protein. It would be called sasiska. Sasiska.
Sasiska.
Sasiska. She would boil it.
Oh, but a boiled hot dog is good. As a, oh, you gotta grill those.
It just wasn't great.
My dad would microwave them.
And put it on like eggs. Like eggs?
Put it on egg, oh.
And hot dogs.
Eggs and hot dogs.
That's what I would have as my immigrant meal.
That's what, that's what I used to have as a young, as a young lad, too.
What's your background?
Uh, my father's Colombian, my mom is Greek and Egyptian.
So, but my mom didn't know that.
Which culture you think led that hot dog egg experiment?
The father.
Let's make that abundantly clear. My mom was like trying to like eat healthy and like had fruit and stuff in the house. Wow chips, you remember those chips? No. You don't remember, do you remember Wow chips?
Are those like a healthy chip?
They were the ones, they were like healthy corn chips, but they were like, they had something in them that made people shit their pants.
I don't know if my mom shit her pants, but my dad was the one that'd be like, you know, for breakfast, here's a fucking lollipop and eggs and hot dogs, which is a healthy breakfast right there.
Good times. Well, based on the new food pyramid, or upside down food pyramid, that's right.
Yes, yes, yes. My, my, uh, my fiance has a masters in public health, so I've gotten the whole, the food pyramid is definitely a sore spot.
Yeah. In, in what way? What upsets her most?
Well, she's like, just very, she's like, this is completely insane. Like, everything that they're doing, like, everything's upside down or whatever, but, um, or like, there should be like more veggies or something in there. I forget the exact-
Well, all those things are right, but the wildest thing is they're attacking the food pyramid that we haven't used in like 20 years.
Can you imagine if I go and I start fact checking from when they were plague doctors and being like, I can't believe doctors did this stupid.
Well, yeah, they didn't know. They didn't have microscopes.
Yeah. And the, also, that was another thing too. I feel like the food pyramid was just like something that was on the wall.
In lunchroom, yeah.
But no one talked about it.
I mean, we talked about it. It was 20 years ago. So we learned, we got better, and then they go, remember that thing they did? Yeah, 20 years ago. We don't do that anymore. We learned from it, we got better, so.
What about the, uh, the plate?
Yeah, the healthy plate.
The healthy plate.
Yeah, that was the replacement for the food pyramid.
And it was a good plate.
Fruits, vegetables, beans.
That's an easier way to kind of figure out like how you're supposed to eat.
Uh, but there were no hot dogs on this plate.
There was definitely not a hot dog on that plate.
Unfortunately, there were no hot dog. I mean, can you imagine? It's a protein, I'm sure, if you have enough of them.
I mean, it's ultra-processed meat, and ultra-processed meat, if you consume enough of it, it does raise your risk of certain conditions.
I just, I, I want to say, you're, you're throwing around the ultra-processed like it's a bad thing.
Oh, it is.
Well, for your colon.
Listen, man. My, my colon health is in the past, my friend.
That ship has sailed.
Yeah, that ship has sailed.
What do we got next, Ed?
Um, considering that you were so curious about these things, would you like to go to male nipples or piss? What would you like to do?
Can you stop, can you stop this? Just give us the question.
Okay. Not me, Frankie.
I often hold my pee to the point my stomach hurts. Why does it make my stomach hurt?
Okay, that was me.
You're using I. You can't hide.
That's, that's fair. That is fair.
Why do you do that?
Why do you hold it?
Uh, uh, I'm on a long car ride, or-
Oh, I thought you were doing like a fun game.
I mean, sometimes I like to, I've said this before, sometimes I like to like-
Wait until like I have, like I'm about to piss to go pee, which I've been told is probably a bad thing to do.
I feel like you can feel that.
Uh.
You can feel that's bad.
Yeah, but, but I don't.
Like I'll be-
What was even the question?
I don't, it's his, I don't know.
What was the question?
Why am I holding my-
So if, if like, if someone were to hold in like they're pissed, why does their stomach start to hurt?
Um, related nerves in the same area, but really it's, it's lower abdominal super pubic discomfort that you're having.
Super-
Don't talk about my-
Super it is.
I got super crazy.
Supra, supra, above, supra.
Supra.
You don't have a super pubic area.
Don't talk about my super pubes.
You don't know about my pubes.
Supers nuts, let's go regular.
Average pubic area. So it's just like discomfort in the area is gonna affect everything.
Yeah, and the longer urine sits in the bladder, the more static it is, meaning it's not moving around, the more likely it is to develop a stone, the more likely to develop an infection. So you wanna keep things moving.
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I think there was another urine-related question in there.
Oh, you're in trouble, man.
Yeah, I think, well, I think if I remember, I'll ask it.
Oh, you, because this one is yours.
I'm gonna, I'm gonna be honest with you. Most of them are mine.
Most of them are mine. But like, we've seen examples of people drinking urine.
You have?
Like Bear Grylls, he likes to drink it.
Yeah, I don't know why.
Out of necessity.
Yeah, it's not a thing.
And apparently it's sterile.
Wait, it doesn't?
It doesn't hydrate you at all?
Oh, well, that completely ruins.
It dehydrates you worse.
That completely ruins my question. Cause it's all the toxins that you're getting out of your body that you're re-ingesting.
No toxins.
Thank you. Thank God. I mean, the general concept, right?
It's waste, but not toxins.
So.
What is the argument? He's saying it does?
Yeah, and it just does it.
And you're saying it dehydrates you?
It's not dehydrates you, it does not hydrate you. It's not a, it's not a replacement for drinking water. And then there's people that think like it gives them some sort of nutrient that they're missing. They're like, oh, it has electrolytes. I'm like, so do food.
So do, if you really love electrolytes, take the supplement.
Yeah, yeah.
You don't need to drink the urine.
Look in the camera and tell Bear Grylls he's an idiot.
I did a whole reaction video to his thing, calling him out, so I feel bad. And he does things that I can never do, so I can't call him an idiot.
Of course, dude, he probably...
Like drink his piss.
And him and my dog share the same name, so...
Well, so... You wanna hear something crazy? His name's not Bear.
No way!
No duh!
It's like Arnold. Look up Bear Grylls' name.
And my name, to be fair, if my name was Arnold, I'm changing it to Bear.
I mean, if you're a guy that goes out and like lives with bears, I think you can call yourself Bear.
I don't think he lives with bears.
Well, you know, he's like around them.
No, he does wild stuff.
He does do crazy stuff. I can't sit here. We, I'm watching through Alone. Have you ever seen that show?
Uh, yes.
It's a good show.
I think, we, didn't we react to that too? Man, we do a lot of reactions.
We did it at all.
Naked and Afraid, Alone?
Naked and Afraid is crazy.
Yeah, that's...
I don't know how, I don't know how people do that, because I would be afraid of being naked, and then afraid of...
Yeah, the bugs.
Forget the bugs, not the bugs.
It's like, it's natural. Like, bugs are natural, they'll eat your superpubic area.
Thank you so much, I appreciate you referencing my super pub again.
His name was Edward.
Edward what?
I said was, I didn't mean that.
Yeah, yeah, he's a liar.
Still, he changed it.
Yeah, that's true.
Well, did he legally change it?
Edward Michael.
Edward Michael?
Grylls.
Wait, is Guy Fieri's real name Guy?
I actually think so.
I think that is a real name.
That's cool.
Imagine it was Edward. Imagine just getting a baby and being like...
I mean, I've delivered babies. If I walked in, I'd say, oh, here's your baby.
Dude, that's crazy.
And I'd bring the baby, and I'd say, what's the baby's name? They'd go, Bear. I'd go, question?
No, you'd be like, this is pretty sick. What's the coolest baby name that you've helped deliver?
I don't know, they're, they're not cool.
Come on!
They're standard, they're standard.
They're names.
You hear them, you forget them.
Frank, Mike, Joe?
And that's patient privacy, I can't tell you that.
Yeah, you want me to break HIPAA right now?
This guy, he got me, honestly.
Yeah, you're done.
He got me, I don't wanna get fucked up.
Wait, so you've, you've delivered babies as well?
Yeah, uh, I think I delivered 38 babies.
38?
Cause we had to keep a log during residency.
Do you think, have any of those babies like gotten old to the point where they're just like, you delivered me, I love you.
Yeah, they're my patients, though. Family medicine, baby, it's beautiful.
Deliver the baby, take care of the baby, take care of the grandparents of the baby, everybody.
That is such an insane thing.
It's sick. It's an amazing job.
That's such a crazy.
And they're just like, yo.
And one of the lowest paying specialties, which we should change.
Yeah, what the fuck, doctors?
It's the doctors that are withholding it.
It's the hospitals.
That's right. It's the privately owned hospitals that are to blame.
Let's blame someone right now. Bear Grylls is who it is.
Bear Grylls is to blame.
It's Bear Grylls.
My question was gonna be, and I guess you're not gonna be able to answer this because you've already debunked that urine is good to drink. I was gonna ask that
if you were to let it-
Can I throw something in real quick?
A famous celebrity the other day messaged me asking me if she should drink her own urine because her friend was doing it.
Can I blow up her spot?
I would love to break HIPAA right now.
Well, no, it wasn't, if it was doing-
It wasn't an official patient consultation.
I love that. I mean, I don't want you to call them out, but-
This is an exclusive.
First time saying this on air.
Mariah Carey.
Kristen Bell, I can't believe.
You really consider drinking urine?
That is insane. Can't drink, can't drink. You said no.
I said no. I did it respectfully, of course, but then it turned out one of her castmates on her show was actually tricking her into thinking she was drinking urine by creating drinks that looked like urine. So much so that she reached out to me.
That's a great prank.
That's a really good prank that one of us is gonna try.
Yeah, very close.
Well, it got her so much that she's like, hmm.
Let me ask this doctor I know. On social media.
That is honestly, that's a level of pranking that like, it just gets into their psyche and they're just like, I kinda need to do their legwork on this.
Well, it puts life into perspective for me because she can reach out at her disposal, Ivy League physicians, all these people that run departments. And she goes, no, let me ask the YouTube dude.
I mean, that's nice.
So like, that's where I fall in.
You're probably more trusted than most like, medical professionals.
I would hope so.
You have the most, I mean, I don't know, but I feel like the access that you have through social media is like, that's what makes that true, I think.
That people are like, I'm gonna ask-
Well, I also aim to be as transparent as possible so people know why I'm recommending things.
As opposed to just being like, the doctor you had that was like, screw you. Sorry, screw you.
That was me, yeah. I was getting screwed by the doctor.
Yeah. Well, that's a different- That's breaking HIPAA for sure. Uh, can't have that.
Now I know where the infection came from.
Uh, but also I just wanna like, just give you like, the, like-
You still work in a hospital?
Oh yeah, half the week is hospital life, which is training residence. So, when they see patients, they need to present the patient to me. If they need help with a procedure, it's complicated, I'll go in with them, and then I also see my own patients.
Any of your patients ever be like, "Wait a second."
All the time.
Yeah, it happens now more than ever because YouTube is so prevalent.
But, uh, it's only been a positive, largely.
That's good.
I went to the hospital once and, uh, it was that same hos- hospital visit. And they said like, "Listen, we need to treat you for possible sepsis, we need you to undress."
This is mul- you've been septic multiple times?
My guy.
What are you doing?
That's why I'm talking, hot dogs don't mean a thing to me, babe.
Are you immunocompromised?
Oh yeah.
I got it all. No, I don't, not at all.
He's going for the record.
But like, they said like, "We need to, you need to like get in the gown, the robe." And I was in such bad situation that they were like, "Do you want help?"
Getting undressed, and I was like, "Sure." And they got me in the robe and the guy goes, "By the way."
Huge fan. And then he walked out the room. I was like, "Yo, this guy just saw my infected."
Weiner.
Like bodies. "Don't do that."
Weiner's not infected.
That's, I mean, you were leading us right there. I mean, I feel like.
Me as an infected individual, that's what I meant to say.
People do say big fan at weird times. I've gotten complimented before on my content at the urinal.
Oh, I mean, that's.
Crazy play.
I think that's happened to me before. I was gonna say, if anything, that's normal.
Or a guy being like, "Like your stuff."
"Like your work."
Ton of followers, huh?
A doctor saw my penis recently, so I was, but that didn't happen to me.
So he wasn't like, saw my penis was like big fan, because that would have mortified me. I'd be like, "All right."
Yeah, it's a pre-penis conversation.
Feel free to pass. What was the feedback?
Bad penis? He said, "Bad penis."
He goes, "He looked good and he went, "Buh."
He went, "Oh my god!" And then he just... No, I went to the dermatologist and, uh, he just got like a quick, like a...
And he said everything was all good.
Good.
But I don't know if he was talking about...
Sick. Was he sick about the news cycle or...?
Whoa.
Everything's all good out there. Uh, in here, though, kinda rough.
Yeah, I don't know how it was, how, uh, you know. It also wasn't my best, uh, it wasn't a good time. I wasn't expecting it to happen.
Bad dick day is what he's referencing.
And it was, you know, it's a doctor's office. It's cold.
The lights, you know, the lights. I don't know how that plays a factor.
Whatever you need to say.
Yeah. I'm glad someone is calling him out on his bullshit.
I'm saying whatever.
I appreciate it, because normally it's just me having to call him out on his nonsense.
I try not to use words like "good" or "bad". I try and describe what I'm looking at.
Great, awesome.
No, those are also not great words. Everything looks normal.
Everything looks normal. But isn't normal subj... Isn't normal subjective?
It's actually objective.
Oh, in the medical sense?
Well, that's what I'm here for.
Grammar.
Um, like, anything, so, we have the subjective portion of the exam, which is you tell me everything that's going on.
So you telling me it's normal is subjective. Me looking at it and writing that it's normal, that's objective.
That's subjective, yes.
Don't cut him off. You don't know what's going on.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Absolutely. Fuck outta here, dude.
No, but I, I get what you're saying. Like, normal in the sense of like, what the body should be doing in this situation is normal.
Sure.
Don't sure me. You got, you got nothing.
Two thumbs up.
You got it, Frankie. You, you walked us there. What else we got over there?
Uh, I just wanna make a note here that the Bear Grylls drinking, uh, like, Frankie Curious About Drinking His Own Pee is not on here. I'm the official list.
Yeah, no, that was in his heart.
No, I did send that over.
It must have been scrapped.
Oh, then maybe I deleted that question when I...
It got scrapped.
It got scrubbed, because what I was gonna ask is, if you, if it's sterile and you can drink it, in theory, can you age it like wine and it would be tastier?
That sounds so horrific. I'm gonna throw up on you.
I wouldn't do it. I'm just asking.
I would put that beneath raw milk. Aged urine.
Oh, that's a good question. So, are you more likely to drink raw milk or, or 10-day-old piss?
I don't want pass.
Did you ever think you'd be sitting in this room right here, answering these questions when you went through medical school?
God, we're gonna get a long email of cuts later.
Hey guys, remember that? Piss or raw milk?
The, the, the raw milk thing, I think is so interesting. Why do you think they're almost allowed to sell it, I guess?
Um, they're not in some places. But then they say it's for animal consumption and not for humans and they bypass the rules. Much in the way that they sell peptides these days. I'm sure you guys have heard of peptides.
Yeah, of course.
They're not really allowed to sell peptides, but they sell them for research purposes only.
So it's just these loopholes?
It's a loophole.
I think, isn't like women's breast milk the same way? Like?
I'm cutting that out of the episode and just replaying it a thousand times.
I heard that it's like legally you can't sell women's breast milk. But like, there's a market.
Tough day of work for Dr. Park, man.
There's a market for them.
I sat surrounded by 20 anti-vaxers and it wasn't as tough as this conversation.
It's getting hot.
I take my gun.
Well, hey, look at you! You're dressed BDSM.
You're wearing three dresses.
Take your, your leather skirt off your neck. I think you'll, you'll cool off.
These are the deleted scenes from the Kid Rock RFK video.
We just talked about that. That was crazy.
First of all.
Cold plunging jeans? Come on.
Yeah, that is, that is something. There's something going on with his legs. Like you, your scarred up legs or something.
My legs, I do, my legs are mostly scars.
Sepsis?
No, no, no, no. That was elsewhere, baby. No, no, no. I, I one time on an episode said that like I had to get my leg like shaved or, or something and... I saw like, I was like, oh my god, I have so many scars on my leg.
From what?
Just like, like hitting it against, you know, like sports, hitting it against something and like, it just heals into it.
You did like a kickboxing thing?
I never did kickboxing, believe it or not.
This is not even true, so I don't even know.
Yeah, what sport, soccer?
Uh, I played football, I played baseball.
You keep saying sports that don't require hitting your legs, so I'm curious.
Football, it's untrue. Football, football, football.
Get this started because he said it when he was younger.
Were you a kicker?
Football, no, but like, when you get like turf burn, that can leave scarring, when you like, when you, people are like scratching.
Your legs aren't mostly scars, what are you justifying?
I am referencing, I one time had my, my knee got cut open by an axe, that happened, that left scars.
Are you talking about your surgery?
No, that was another one.
I don't like how this episode is being targeted at me, I just gotta say.
You're pulling the reins here, buddy. You got any other questions that feel like they're not from Frank? I know that answer's no, but.
Um, feel like they're not from Frank.
Uh, yeah, sure.
What is more useless, an appendix or male nipples? And if you suck male nipples long enough, will they lactate?
Okay, I did write the first half of the question, I don't know where that second half come from.
Ah, me neither.
Well, we were on breast milk, we were on breast milk.
The appendix.
What is it?
I'm glad that's where you went first.
No, yeah, yeah, I'm trying to save this episode.
You're warming me up to it.
We'll get to the other stuff first.
You gotta foreplay the nipples a little bit.
Do you have appendix though? We can pull that right out. The gallbladder, I think there's another one you can just pull out, we're good.
Yeah, they have utility, but they, you can live without. You can live with one kidney.
But you prefer to have two. It's nice to have a backup.
But an appendix.
An appendix.
What does it actually do?
Yeah. It functions as part of your immune system when you're young. It also is a home for the microbiome, some of the bacteria that naturally colonize your intestine. So it does have some uses, but you can live without it.
So like at a certain, but you said when you were young, so at a certain point, does it kind of like stop?
It's not a life sustaining organ.
Retired.
Can't live without, I guess you could live without both kidneys because you get dialysis. Can't live without a full liver, can't live without a full heart, can't live without a brain. I'm curious. You have to answer when I count to three.
Oh, man.
Most important organ in the body that you believe. One, two, three.
Skin.
Or brain.
I was thinking one of you would say heart, one of you would say brain, I would say that's beautiful. But you went skin.
Well, you can't.
What's the biggest organ, that question?
No, no, no, I mean like, everything is held together by your skin.
It's probably held together by your fascia, but.
Oh, fascia, yeah.
The, the, the organ that is least talked about.
What is the?
It's everywhere. It holds you together. Like if you've ever done a dissection in anatomy lab, you'll see that there's a lot of weird connective tissue, like what is that? That's fascia.
Of the plantar variety.
Of the full body variety.
Plantar fasciitis. Yeah, fasciitis. My, my actual answer was brain, I forget that I said skin.
Okay, yeah. So why brain?
Uh, controls everything.
Why heart?
I mean, if it stops, we're done. But you can live with an artificial heart, can't live with an artificial brain.
What's an artificial?
How long can you live with artificial heart?
What is an artificial heart?
This is, this is you. I'm not, I'm not helping this stuff. You're in the hot seat.
Uh, I don't know.
Not a full life, sadly.
But you.
We're getting there.
Longer, longer than you can with it, without an artificial, like, you can't live without an artificial brain for a second.
Well, uh, if you give someone, no, you can't.
So I'm right?
What was it? Brain? I'm on a roll.
I think brain is more important. You could have brain death and still have heart and lung function by having a ventilator keep you alive.
However, if you lose a full brain, you lose the ability to even have the heart pumps.
I always remember the story, like, learning about it in psychology of, like, Phineas Gage.
And I thought that was, like, cra- because you hear about, like, any sort of, like, trauma to the brain. You think, like, as a kid, it's just like, oh, it's instant. And this guy got a fucking, like, whole rod through his head and continued to live.
Do you, do you think there's any part of the body, organ, or just whatever part that eventually will be born without? Like, we're just not using?
Man, see, this is a great question.
I'm not smart enough to answer that question.
Fair enough. We got him with one.
I wrote that one. I wrote that one.
We got him with one.
He's just not going to say something that he doesn't know for sure.
No, of course.
Well, this is why, this is why you're trusted, is because in that situation, we would just say it.
Something's gonna happen with our mouths, because our mouths are getting smaller.
Is that true?
Well, that's why all, everyone's molars are impacted now.
What about, like, my pinky?
But I'm not a dentist, so I'm speaking outside of my mouth.
What about my pinky toe?
What about it?
That's a good question.
Balance point.
Oh, your pinky toe, though?
Pinky and, uh, big toe.
Yeah. But, like, mine is, like, sideways now.
You never saw Heartbreak Kid?
I did see Heartbreak Kid.
Remember he was telling her the lie about hanging out with a guy at golf and he only had the outer toes?
I don't remember that well.
Yeah, I like movies.
He only had the outside?
Yeah, he, he's like, it allowed him to maintain the swing.
Ah.
Can we play the clip? I don't think I can.
No, it's fine.
No, finally, you look like an idiot for once.
It was a good movie. Underrated.
First movie I ever got kicked out of.
Heartbreak Kid.
No, Heartbreak Kid. I tried to go watch Heartbreak Kid with my, like, high school girlfriend, and they were like, you're not watching this, and they kicked me out.
Because?
I was thirteen.
Oh, so you tried to sneak in?
You ever sneak into a movie?
You ever break the law?
Did I ever sneak into a movie?
You, would you consider yourself a bad boy criminal?
I've definitely been over the speed limit by a couple of miles an hour.
So I gotta admit to that.
I've seen the cars.
I would too, to be honest.
Uh, did I ever sneak into a movie here? I feel like I must have overstayed and watched two movies.
Yeah, that's a big one.
I did one of those things when I was like in fifth grade or something. I don't think I even hit, it was just like middle of the day and they're like, no one's here, we don't care.
Yeah, exactly. I'm gonna ask you a series of questions.
That's what a podcast is, go ahead.
These are two different answers. What's your favorite movie of all time? And what's the best movie of all time?
My favorite movie of all time is not one people love.
That's okay, mine too.
Man on Fire.
That's a good movie.
I think it's so underrated. Denzel.
Dakota Fanning. A lot of celebrity appearances, Marc Anthony. Um, music is phenomenal. Story's great.
I need to watch Man on Fire.
Scott directing, I mean, it was good stuff.
What was your answer?
The Mask.
You know that.
I'm not a Jim Carrey fan.
Oh, why? What happened?
I don't know, I just.
You said that with like hate in your heart.
No, no, when I came to America, like he was really popular and I was just like, ah, it was okay.
Like Bruce Almighty was okay. A Liar Liar was kinda cool.
He loves The Mask and I watched it in, within the last two years and it sucks.
It doesn't, it is so good.
It doesn't hold up.
It is so good. Alright, now, but what, if you were in like a, you know, like barroom conversation with your buddies. What do you think, would you argue is the best movie of all time?
It's so hard to pick one. I have a list, but. I really, I, I find myself coming back to Good Will Hunting a lot.
I just watched that recently again, so good.
Like Shawshank.
Shawshank, yeah. Goodfellas.
Goodfellas, I've rewatched a million times.
Hell, yeah.
I'm like almost sick of it now.
Yeah, but you know what's sick? If it's still on, I still.
You know, the hoof, the hoof, you cut the hoof.
What about, what about, uh, I remember, I, I, I had knee surgery and I remember waking up and it was like a party in there with like music and shit like that.
You woke up during your surgery?
Oh, wow.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was, uh...
Did you leave a bad Yelp review for that one?
Yeah. The attacks on me today, I'm just gonna throw this out there, are out of control. Uh, no, no, no, no, I asked.
I mean, I would if I wake up mid-surgery, I'm writing a negative review.
I asked. It was so, it was high school sports. I, my knee was destroyed. And they said like, "Hey, you can wake up during the surgery if you want, we'll give you an epidural." They offered that? Yeah.
And I was like, it was paid for by the friggin', like, public school system. So I was just like, fuck it, yeah, okay, whatever.
So you woke up controlled, pain-free?
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I woke up and there was like Coldplay was going and people were like...
Yeah, surgeon's jam.
What's your jam music?
I don't, I don't surgeon.
I know you're not a surgeon, I'm saying like, what is your jam music?
White noise. We, we play white noise so that other patients in the other rooms can't hear the conversation.
I was gonna ask you what your jam music is, Doug.
Um, I don't know. Like, top 50 stuff. Nothing, nothing special. Eminem. I just listened to Killshot this morning, I don't know why.
That what?
It hit, it hit my TikTok feed.
Killshot?
That is crazy. Okay.
Why, you don't like it?
No, it's just like so random.
It wasn't that long ago, it was like five years ago.
Was it?
You're making it sound like Killshot came out in the 70s and I'm like...
No, I just like, it's such a random... He loves, he loves to tell people.
First of all, if I said Beatles, you'd give me props. But I said Killshot, you go, "That long ago?"
Well, no, not, not the length, it was the, the song, it just feels so random. Like, it's not like a top 50 song like that. Like, he loves like fucking Pitbull or Flowriders. He does, he does.
My dad likes Pitbull.
Your dad likes Pitbull?
We're learning about this guy in real time.
Yeah, it sucks for your dad, by the way.
Joey loves to point out people's lack of, you know, current music knowledge.
Well, who do you guys like?
No, Joey's gonna listen to like, he'll be like at the surgery table.
Kendrick, Drake, who, which team are you on? One, two, three. One, two, three.
I was, yeah. One, two, three, one, two, three.
I don't know enough about it. I will say though that like, of the music I've heard, I like more Kendrick Lamar stuff than I do Drake stuff.
Who's hotter, Matt Damon or Brad Pitt? One, two, three.
Matt Damon. What are we talking about?
Hotter?
You like Matt Damon or him?
I don't know.
I think Matt Damon. Brad Pitt, there's some stuff. I just watched a, he's hot, what are we gonna do? I mean, I'm not excusing whatever, I don't even know what you're talking about.
You know what's funny? You guys didn't even catch that I referenced Heartbreak Kid again.
Why do you?
I haven't seen it.
You think we're gonna remember Heartbreak Kid that well? I remember like three scenes from it.
This whole episode is Heartbreak Kid and sepsis over here. I brought it up once.
Aw, man.
What else we got on the docket?
Um, I have a question. Uh, with the craze of, you know, like all these medical shows, like which one would you say is the most accurate?
The pit, all day.
The pit is so good.
10 out of 10.
I heard it's just like...
Limited notes. I have one note. I wish they did chest compressions a little better.
How are you supposed to do a proper chest compression?
Push hard and fast and center the chest 2 inches deep, about 100 beats per minute.
This guy knows...
To the tune of, "Stay alive!"
He knows 2 inches deep.
Well, that means he does great CPR.
That was pretty good.
You're a nation of lifesavers.
At first, that was a...
I was petrified. Yeah, that's the office.
The office. I've reacted to that one, too.
Okay, that's such a good, such a good clip.
Is it true that like with chest compressions, there could be like injuries with that?
Uh, yeah, but the person's dead.
If you don't do it.
No, no, no, they're dead.
Oh, that's when they get it.
You're doing chest compressions because the heart has stopped. So...
They're dead.
And you're squeezing the heart by pushing the chest 2 inches deep, which you're very accustomed to doing.
Get him.
And...
This is crazy that you're ducking him.
You said it.
He said it.
You dapped him up.
Yeah, he did. Not because of the truth, because of the joke.
The dap is the ultimate like sign of yes, it's 2 inches.
You co-sign him right now. Um, I forgot where I was going with this.
Uh, but the heart has already stopped.
Oh, yeah, the heart has stopped, so you're squeezing the heart to circulate the blood that still has some residual oxygen in it. And, uh, you're trying to buy time for EMTs to arrive.
Aren't there stories, though, of people doing chest compressions and like cracking ribs?
Yeah, yeah, again, if you're doing that in order to keep that person's brain alive, that's worth it. You trade a rib for a brain. You said brain's the most important.
Damn right. Yeah, I would, I would make that trade.
My dad...
All right, Meryl Manson, relax.
Oh, he trained too. He trained too.
My dad was a fireman and I think he was like EMS for a bit, but there was one time he was on a a tennis court and a guy like had a heart attack or something and he was doing like either chest compressions-
While the person's alive? Like talking?
No, no, no. They like went down and they were like, I, I, I, I forget the story, but he had to give him CPR. And he's like, and I was giving this guy CPR and then he just threw up in his mouth. Disgusting.
That's aggressive.
That's a rough day at the altar.
That's a bad one, yeah.
I don't know what has to happen for that.
Well, it just, you set it up saying he had a heart attack? Heart attack does not require CPR.
My dad could have just liked it.
His dad has a character.
Cardiac arrest.
We got a lot of daddy issues on this side of the, the set. I don't know. Sky, I stubbed his toe, my dad gave him CPR.
Well, I've seen videos on social media, someone's like a little bit out of it and they're giving them CPR. I'm like, no, no, no. If they're out of it, that means their heart is still beating because they're moving.
So you don't want to squeeze their chest when their heart's beating.
What, um, I also like, I don't know if this is true, but I like saw something online that now with like CPR, like the breathing into the mouth is not a thing?
Yeah. So people used to not do CPR for people because they were worried, oh, I have to do mouth to mouth. So we said, forget mouth to mouth. The most important thing is pushing hard and fast in center of the chest after you call for help. And that means either you're calling for help or you're saying, you pink, neon pink scrubs, you call 911 and you have to say yes, and then I start the chest compression.
What was-
We do the, we do the rescue breaths in situations when a person has been down for a long period of time. So if someone drowned, for example, and you find them, odds are they don't have residual oxygen in their blood. So you need to give them rescue breaths and then start pushing hard and fast. But if someone just collapsed, they still have oxygen in their blood, blood vessels. So you can start pushing right there.
One more time. Do that one more time.
And this isn't even good form. Sorry. This is good form.
You gotta get on top.
Yeah. You want to lock down elbows.
Alright, alright.
This isn't a tricep extension.
Alright. So lock them out.
Lock them out because you want to use your body weight over them.
So lock them out like this?
That's hyper-
So like this.
Wait, can you do that again?
That's a pretty, that's a hyperextended.
Yeah, what's going on?
I have many skills you don't know about.
Can you, can you put your thumb to your?
No, my wife can, but I get pretty close.
Oh, be careful.
Alright, good. You're good.
I get pretty close.
We're just checking you for...
Why, is that a bad thing?
Uh, well, it could predispose you to having a condition. And with him.
You know, I got it.
I don't, I don't need this. I'm a hypochondriac, so I can't...
Yeah. I'm gonna start checking my thumb for air.
It's gonna be a long drive home for me. Be like, "Oh, Dr. Mike said I have a condition, babe."
He referenced my sepsis a bunch of times.
What else we got?
Wait, how many times have you had sepsis? Just to clear that up.
I've never been septic. Let me make that abundantly clear. I have been treated for, I'm getting pretty close.
Got it.
Okay. We'll talk off air. You ever been septic?
What are the requirements?
Uh, it's basically...
There's SIRS criteria plus an infection source.
Mm-hmm. Oh, so that's, yeah, you, you many times then.
Who the fuck are you?
Um, speak...
We can pop up the SIRS criteria.
Speaking of all, uh, Frankie's trips to the sepsis hospital here, uh, you're, Frankie, you're mentioning that hospitals have the same smell, you're saying?
All hospitals I've been to smell exactly the same. And all casinos I've been to smell exactly the same.
Are you sure it's just you're not smelling yourself? Cause it seems like everywhere you go, it smells the same.
Let me finish the question. That's a, that's a great... That's probably it. I need to ask the question.
You're like, every time I go here, it smells the same.
Well, no, my question was going to be seriously, do hospitals like...
Like casinos put like stuff through the vents in order to like, so it's like oxygenated and...
Oh, how like the fancy hotels have their own unique scents?
Yes. Do hospitals have like a specific air filtration system that like makes it so it smells a certain way?
We do have HEPA filters, cause for infection control purposes. We keep it low humidity, specifically because it decreases infection. Um, we don't pump scent though. That's not a thing.
So what'd you say, like essentially smelling super clean air?
Yeah, clean, yeah.
Or I guess it's like a little like a rubbery.
There's a little rubber, yeah, it smells like.
Well, there's a lot of equipment.
It smells like the gloves.
Yeah, what's with the paper? Why the paper? Paper's horrible.
On the, on the, on the, they.
Oh, disposable.
But like, can we?
It's just because.
Do you want to sit in someone else's butt goop?
No, no, no.
Goop, goop, goop.
What goes on in your doctor's office?
You probably said.
I'm not saying I have no goop.
Whatever.
Let's make that abundantly clear.
I agree.
Excretions.
But like I'm saying, let's, let's upgrade this paper.
To what?
To, to a comfort more.
UV light.
What, what about it? Are you just saying words now?
Whole milk.
A whole milk bath that you can sit in that's been homogenized.
The, um, nevermind, I know the answer to that question. I was gonna say there's like a little box.
So basically what I'm smelling is, what I'm smelling is just a combination of like cleaner air.
Probably you're, you're smelling a lot of disinfectants as well. We're cleaning things a lot.
Yeah. Oh, that's definitely what it is. Do they, have, have any hospitals or doctor's offices come up with like disinfecting like grenades? So like they can just close the door to it off, like a room and they throw something in and then it goes off and, and like.
Frank, yes.
Just, I mean, this might be a good business idea. All right? If you're looking to invest.
Clean grenades?
But like, name your apartment.
Definitely before this, saw a TikTok video where someone did that transition where they throw the grenade and the room got clean. He goes, I want that grenade.
Well, like, if I were to take two Lysol cans and just stab them with knives and then throw them into a room.
You'd go to jail.
You'd go to jail. I'm not saying like where there are patients. I'm saying like, you know, like that room over there and I close it off. Would it do a good job cleaning that room?
Um, I can't answer that question. I have never ran that experiment.
So I have a question. So you know how restaurants have people show up from the health department and they like check to make sure everyone's doing the thing? Does that happen in hospitals?
Absolutely.
How often?
Uh, very often and they do surprise visits. It's called Jako.
I say good. What's it?
It stands for something, uh, it's an acronym.
So they show up and they like make sure that everything's like?
Insane verification of processes, like where do you keep your sharps? How do you dispose of them? How often are they coming? Are you getting, um, your expiration dates generally restocked? Like, everything is checked. Oh, you have a water bottle nursing station that's unopened? Why?
So they're really strict. People freak out when they come.
And who sets those standards?
This hospital accreditation system.
And they?
And it's based on if the, if the hospital takes money from the federal government. Because then they have to follow the federal government's rules for hospital mandates.
Do, have, is it like typical for a hospital to like get shut down or something like that?
Typical, no, but they definitely have to do make goods and then they come back and check and make sure that things are changed.
So they'll give them like, this needs to be rectified in a week and then we'll be back.
I've like worked in a pizzeria before and when the health department shows up, it's like-
Pizzeria, hospital.
Wait, wait. So, when, but that day, when they, they're, if they get a heads up like a half an hour, like they're gonna be in a half an hour, then it's like all of a sudden we gotta start wearing like gloves and hairnets or whatever, which you typically don't do.
They surprise us.
It's like random drug testing for athletes.
Alright, they just knock on your door.
They just knock on your door.
I mean, uh-
And then everyone freaks out, Jake goes here, get the food out of here.
Well, that, that used to happen too, when I worked at Target. Like, they, like, food, like, specifics, food inspectors would come because a lot of the Targets had like a Pizza Hut or a Starbucks in it and like they would just walk in the door and be like, we're gonna check.
And-
I'm sure they send also surprise inspectors to some places, right? I don't know for hospitals.
Oh, just like-
Just like as a regular consumer.
That would be better.
I'd be so good, yeah.
Who gets in trouble for that?
I don't know, but they should be.
Not you, though.
Not me.
I can't get in trouble for that.
Damn right.
But they do make coatings for equipment in the hospital that are antibacterial coatings.
What does that mean? Like, uh, like coatings on something?
Like the keyboards and the mice are-
So you can't get like a gaming mouse and bring it into the-
I mean, you could do whatever you want, but-
But you're gonna get in trouble for it.
Probably. But it's cool that they have those coatings. There's some coatings that like bacteria don't like living on. That, they call them bacteriostatic, that the bacteria can't multiply on them.
What is the reason why we don't use that more?
Expensive, doesn't work with some materials, et cetera.
I feel smarter already.
I, I feel like I- I feel like I learned something and then it's completely negated by the next conversation.
I can't remember anything, I just know that Frank's got like diarrhea or something. Stop! Alright, I'm back for a little bit more ads. The next one being SeatGeek, okay? SeatGeek, this is where you're gonna get all your tickets. You wanna go to a concert this summer, you wanna go to a baseball game or something like that, or a Broadway play? SeatGeek is where you wanna buy those tickets. Where I buy all of mine, okay? Anytime I need a ticket for anything, I'm going right to SeatGeek. That's the app that I have, that's what I've used for years and love. So I'm going to SeatGeek because it tells me, you know, if I'm paying a good price for a ticket or a bad price for a ticket. Sometimes you just see the prices and you're like, "Oh, maybe that's a good price." But then you look, and it's like, "Oh, there's much cheaper prices." You know? Because the prices are color-coded. So if it's a dark green ticket, that means like, "This is a really good price." So that's the one I'm gonna jump all over, alright? And, uh, yeah.
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Then you can go through everything else and kind of do the same. They're saving you the money. And it's also good to see all of your expenses in one place. So you can realize, "What am I spending money on? What are the things that I know I'm spending money on, but I don't really use? And what are the things that I didn't even know I was spending money on?" So that's why it's very helpful. Um, they also have a tool that's going to help you budget. So if you wanna be more financially responsible and set some goals, like, "I only wanna spend this amount every single month so I can grow my savings." They have a tool for that. They also have a tool that's gonna help you lower your bills, possibly, so... It's all about putting the money back in your pocket, but yeah, let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster, so you can join at rocketmoney.com/basement, alright? So that is rocketmoney.com/basement. You can try it for free. There's also a lot of premium
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Uh, do you want to go back to forget the good conversation, or more good conversation?
Just, you know, you follow your heart, I think.
Um, I like this one. What's something most people do every day that will have a negative effect on them in the future, that maybe they don't know?
Hmm, can I guess?
Sure. He's here for a reason! No, no, this is great. It's like I get to fact check live.
Creamer in their coffee. I hear that a lot of people do it, thinking that there's nothing to it, but it carries a lot.
You think that's the worst habit we have?
I think it's a bad one. I didn't say worse!
That's what the question is.
No, the question was, what's a bad thing?
It could be anything, though.
I'm gonna, I'm not gonna reread the question?
Yeah, you should agree with him.
But I'm gonna agree with him.
Go ahead.
Um, it's probably something to do with sleep. The fact that we don't respect sleep.
That eight hours is like, critical.
Seven to nine, yeah, is a good number to aim for, as an adult. Children's different, older people's different. Older people don't need as much.
After 65, yeah.
Is that why they're always up?
Cause they're, cause they're sleeping for like, an hour and a half in the middle of the day, that's why.
Old bastards can't stay awake.
I just went to, I just took a flight home at 6 a.m. so I could beat the storm that we just had, and I was like, everyone in here is old. Like, they're up at this time.
It was like a very early flight. I'm like, I would never, like, there was no one really there that was, like, around my age. Like, everyone is like, 65 plus.
I mean, when you don't sleep well, your body has to counteract this fatigue that you're feeling, so you go into fight or flight mode. And when you're in this fight or flight mode, you're not healing well, you're not digesting well, you're not repairing well, and as a result, your blood pressure's higher, your hormone shifts are generally unhealthy for that day, your food choices are not healthy, you're putting on weight... So it's like impacting your mental health, your physical health all around. So sleep, we need to make love to our sleep.
And how do you, if someone has trouble sleeping, how would you suggest that they sleep better?
It takes a visit with someone like me who will try and figure out what's the issue. Because some people have trouble falling asleep, which is one issue. Then you could have people who can't stay asleep. They'll wake up at 2 a.m. and can't go back to sleep. Those are two different issues and have different treatments for both. In general, what I'm seeing people struggle with the most is their sleep hygiene. Their ability to do good things to help them fall asleep well. So exposing themselves to early morning light, making sure their bedroom is really dark, cool. There's things like not looking at your phone right before bed, exposing yourself to blue light can hurt your ability to fall asleep. So there's all of these things that need to be taken into account that most people brush off and like, just give me a pill. And the pill is not a solution.
Is the magnesium thing? Like a...
It overstated.
Oh, so it's not really like a huge?
Yeah, no. I wish it was. How easy would that make my life? Here's your thing. And melatonin is tricky because melatonin is good, where I use it the most probably is for jet lag, resetting someone's circadian cycle. So let's say you were in one time zone and now you're coming back to this one and you want to reset. Taking melatonin an hour before bedtime could be totally reasonable to reset. But people are taking it every single day.
So they're becoming reliant on it, which is not good. And second, they're also taking huge doses. There's people taking like 10mg, 20mg where you're really supposed to use like one, two, maybe three. People are going way too far on it.
I've done it five, I think, one time.
Again, one time is...
Yeah, I...
It's like a hot dog, you know what I'm saying? It's not...
4th of July, you want to rip a mug of fucking melatonin, be my guest?
Not medical advice that I share.
Hold on. This is what he does. Hold on, that's a great idea. A line of hot dogs that have trace amounts of melatonin in them. So you can have a pre-bed dog.
Why is someone looking at me?
You want to eat a hot dog?
I was hoping you had like a silence button.
Yeah, I do here, actually. And, and we'll call it sleepy dogs.
Oh, that was the kicker?
That was...
Oh wow, that was a good idea.
I mean, in theory, you can just put melatonin in anything.
I don't think that's true.
I don't...
I think it's regulated.
I love "in theory", like, that's, that like, saves you. Um, also, eating a hot dog before bed, wild move.
I don't do that, let's make that abundantly clear.
Because you're not supposed to eat how many hours before bed?
That's not a rule.
It's not a rule, Joey.
Ideally, if you're struggling with reflux, maybe don't eat two hours before bedtime, but...
What do you, like, so the, the, the blue light one is an actual question, because like, I, I, we like recently saw something that this is like, this new thing where it's called like...
Blue light glasses.
No, no, not just blue light glasses, but like, it's like sleep revenge or something, and it's like, people are like, trying to like, stay up later because during the day, they don't get enough time. Like, I have young kids, so like, me and my wife, we try to stay up as, not as late as we can, but a little later, because that's the only alone time that we get...
During the day. So, I'll stay up a little later, but she'll go to sleep and I'll like, you know, scroll like, the news or something on my phone.
I do. I mean, scroll the news. When I say the news, it's...
You're looking at comic books and Spider-Man videos.
It's, it's news on the new Disney Plus Power Ranger show, let's be honest.
When he said, "Me and my wife have some time together", I was like, "Oh, that's so romantic."
I mean, we do, we, we...
And he's like, "No, no, we get the hell away from each other, we scroll the news."
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We'll, we'll like, watch something together, we'll, we'll talk, whatever. But I'm saying like, she'll go to sleep before me, and then I'll scroll the news.
Yeah, yeah, the news.
The news. Um, how long before bed do you think is like, blue light a bad thing? Like, what should be the buffer?
I would get rid of it an hour before.
An hour, okay.
And that's like, conservative, because you want to, A, limit the blue light exposure, because that's, plays some role, because you can shift some settings in your phone to decrease blue light anyway. But, the more important thing is, when you're looking at the news, because you're clearly a consumer...
Power Rangers, watches.
You're looking at your friends, what they're up to, what your ex-partners are up to on social media, that is not contributing to a good night's sleep. That's making you more anxious.
People that are, like, I really, like, and...
It really is like, I stay off social media because I don't, I don't like, I try to stay away from social media as much as I can.
How do you get your news? When you, when you scroll through the news?
It's not really news. It's, it's like entertainment stuff.
Yeah, where, where, what website or what app?
It depends. So like I open Google Chrome and at the bottom it'll have like a series of suggested things like here are the top Pokemon cards of this new release. Like here's like the news on-
Hard hitting stuff.
You know.
We're about to go to war, you're talking about Pokemon card release. Never mind. Stay on the phone, bro. It sounds like you have the perfect sleep routine.
They're gonna get rid of Bulbasaur!
Bulbasaur, don't ever disrespect the number one Pokemon.
Oh shit.
Do people scroll on Google Chrome? Is that a thing?
I do. Look, I'll show you what I do. Look, look. I'll show you exactly what I do.
Don't make it worse.
Look, I open Google.
Tell me the first news story.
Read it out loud.
Discover it. MLB this show.
MLB this show, the video game.
Alright, Jean Georges, I can't say that. Tin building his clothes. 10 best watches without a date window.
Oh, that's a good, let's hear that.
You wanna hear that one? I mean, of course, Netflix sub is number one.
A Netflix, I mean Rolex sub is number one.
I was like Netflix is making laws.
He just leaked the next collab.
Yeah. Patek Calatrava 96, that's much.
Good choice.
Um, but, you know, that's what I, that, that is really what I'm scrolling because I try to stay off social media as much as I can because-
Well, that's impressive.
I, I say I try.
You know, but definitely before bed I do it because I don't wanna freak myself out. Like I, I tend to be an over thinker with certain things. So like if I do see like, hey, we're close to war, then I'm not gonna be able to sleep and it's gonna freak me out.
But when you see watches without a date window, you go, I get it.
I get it. It calms me down.
I'm gonna go to sleep and think about watches.
You know what I do? And tell me if you've ever, if you do this.
I do it.
I add things to my cart and I just leave it there and I go away. It's like, I, I, I'm just not gonna buy it.
Do you keep stuff in the cart?
I window shop online.
So you keep it in the cart as a way of giving yourself some time to see if you really need it the following day?
No, I'm not gonna buy it ever.
But you keep it in the cart.
So you're tricking the website?
What's, what's that accomplishing?
Nothing, it's just something I do.
Maybe they'll give you a discount.
They do do that?
I'm breaking the system here. I don't know, I thought we were talking about watches. I was like, I don't even know.
No, no, no, no, they're not kidding.
You're not putting anything to a car.
Rolex.
Really hoping to protect S B U.
Yeah, here's 30% off for St. Patrick's Day on all green dial. That's not happening.
Man, that would be sick.
That would be super cool.
I have a question. What do you think is the...
The answer, by the way, to your question was commitment issues, but go ahead.
Commitment issues.
That's why you're doing the cart.
I don't want to make a diagnosis, but commitment issues.
I mean, this is like a therapy session for us. This feels very good for me.
This is one thing, but...
I will also say you didn't answer how useless male nipples are and if they will lactate once you suck on them enough.
They can lactate in certain medical conditions, hormonal imbalances, some medications, so...
But is it milk?
It's milk.
Raw milk, baby!
And what's the use of them? It's just like the normal human blueprint. Inside the embryo, we're all the same.
And on the outside, too, we're all kind of similar.
There's a lot of differences. Not gonna touch that. What do you think is like the... Like, obviously you have a lot of knowledge about how to stay healthy and stay on top of those types of things, but what do you think is like your most unhealthy habit?
My cholesterol is really high. I'm actually waiting for my results right now to see where I'm at. I'm nervous about it.
Why is it high?
It's a great question.
You're asking new, you're asking personal questions. He's asking these personal questions.
I told you transparency. I eat a lot of... No, I don't eat a lot of hot dogs. My food choices have not been great.
What's your guilty pleasure food?
Besides hot dogs?
Something that's high in saturated fat. Like, I love cookies and cream milkshakes, but I haven't been having them. But I'll have... You know what it is? When I go to a restaurant, I get the wagyu. And that's not good.
I mean, you got it. That's me.
That's not good. I mean, I just, I'm doing it too often.
That's me, too.
You know how some celebrities or people that get some notoriety on social media, they make a buck and they go, "Oh, my God," and they develop a drug problem?
Sure, yeah.
That's me, but with wagyu.
Hell, yeah!
With like, anything that has MP on the menu, he's like...
That's it.
Two, two.
Crab legs. I'll take three orders of them. Are crab legs bad?
I said 20 hot dogs.
No dude, I feel you on that 100%.
20 years, pretty solid.
I'll tell you this though, when it's-
I did have the most expensive burger I've ever had in my life this weekend.
Where?
Kith Ivy.
Oh, they make food over there now?
Yeah, it's a members' club. I'm not a member.
I don't even know what that is.
It's like a Kith.
I'm not invited.
I know Kith.
They open like a membership club. It's like a paddle or whatever. It's like a paddle club. You know paddle?
Is it paddle or padell?
Padell, I guess, yeah.
Like paddleball?
Yes, but no.
It's like pickleball, tennis and squash had a baby.
Okay, you lost me. Somehow following more of the medical talk.
How much was the burger?
$64.
That's the most expensive burger you've ever had?
Where do you have a more expensive burger?
Yeah, where are you going?
Okay, without gold flakes on it.
I was just gonna ask.
I've never had-
There was nothing weird on it.
I've never had a more expensive burger. I imagined it was gonna be like 200 bucks.
I mean, where does a 200 bucks burger exist?
Where are you getting it?
I'm sure you can find it somewhere.
I just had a burger-
What's that, like 4 Charles burger?
That's not expensive like that.
Yeah, the burger at 4 Charles is probably just like, I don't know, 40 bucks. Yeah, 30.
Yeah. I just had Red Hook Tavern for the first time. Liked the burger there. Apparently it's actually really good.
Burger.
Damn.
How much was it?
It's a good question. I think it was like 30 bucks.
That's why.
How was the $64 burger?
It was pretty good. There were some kebabs on the side that were great.
It wasn't wagyu though, right?
It was.
That's the sick part.
It wasn't, it wasn't that A5.
I clearly have a problem. It wasn't A5.
It wasn't A5.
Have you been to Japan?
Alright, we gotta go to Japan.
I would love to go.
We can't bring you to Japan?
If you guys go, can you take me?
Can't bring you to Japan?
Yeah, you can.
No, you're like a wagyu addict.
6'3".
Yeah, I mean, yeah, you are. You're big, physically speaking, in Japan. Also, you're super pubes too.
We'll cut that out.
What are we even talking about at this point?
Um, I'll join, obviously.
I love sushi, so I'd love to go to Japan.
What's your, what's your go to sushi like?
Um, I, I was going to a place called Sushi Seki for the longest time on the Upper East Side. They're really good.
I meant order, like, are you going like?
Omakase, I just, I, I trust the chef.
Have you been to Nas?
Nas?
Yeah, Sushi Nas.
Where's that?
It's, uh...
Why does it feel like he made that up?
No, no, no, it's a very like, it's a, it's a very like, nice restaurant. Um, the, the chef is like,
uh, he's like a famous sushi chef or something, I don't know. I went once, it was really good, but it was very intimidating.
Cause it's like eight people and then he's there and he's making it and I was like scared to talk.
And he's judging you to make sure you're eating it correctly.
Dude, he scared the fuck out of me because at one point he has like fresh scallops and he's like talk, and it's like very quiet.
And he's just making it and it's like, you know, you're watching the guy at work and it's amazing. And then he just takes the fucking scallop and he's just like, like right in front of me on the table and I was like, oh, and then it moves.
Cause it's alive.
Yeah, and I ate it.
Wow. I feel like these days you can just say a syllable and it could be a sushi place in the city.
Kind of, yeah, no, they have.
Yeah, that's pretty much what it was.
Cause there's a lot of sushi.
We went to a...
Did you watch Jiro Dreams of Sushi?
No, I heard it's good though.
Oh, it's really good.
We went to a, we went to a Japanese barbecue place in Texas once. Yeah, and...
That seems like where they would have a good one.
Food was good, the food was solid.
Walk in? All white people.
Yeah, we were like, this doesn't, this doesn't feel right because every person in there was white and they were like,
Speaking Japanese.
They were trying to do like traditional, like when someone walks in, how they like shout something in Japanese.
It's like when they have the, what are those where they cook for you, where they do a show?
Hibachi?
Hibachi, yeah.
Don't, don't downplay hibachi, like you don't think it sucks.
No, but it's been co-opted.
Yeah, no.
Oh yeah, now it's like, you know, kids named Brett that do it.
Hibachi does not suck, by the way. Hibachi's incredible.
No, hibachi's great. I loved the little volcano.
Isn't it cool?
I one time went and got real drunk and they let me go and do the volcano and I put my hand on the thing and, and went like that. Burnt off my.
My.
What would make you do that?
You shouldn't have done that.
Did you not hear the very drunk one that I, that was the preamble to that story?
It was the first time he was septic.
Sepic? Well, can we stop talking about my borderline sepsis?
Do you dip sushi in soy sauce the correct way?
You're supposed to dip the, the fish side, right?
I don't do it at all.
Oh, you don't? Oh, because you go to the fancy place where they brush it with a brush?
That's right, yeah. Well, not, not, but even when I get sushi at home, I'll just like eat it. I don't know.
When you get sushi at home, you make it yourself?
No, no, no, like I, when I order it.
He doesn't use the soy sauce, I think is what he's.
Yeah, yeah, I don't, I don't dip it. I just like eat it. Cause I feel like soy sauce is such a.
Powerful.
Yeah, it's so powerful that I'm like, I don't want to ruin the.
No, it's a little.
Sometimes there's like a little sauce there that isn't.
A little bit.
I'll throw like a little, a little bit.
Spicy mayo?
Where's that from? That's from somewhere.
A little where? What? I think he's talking about your tongue. Oh, my tongue? My tongue is for my mouth.
Not for the story.
Just like a little like, uh-uh. Like that? Yeah. I mean, they have like a, you know, something. I'll be like, all right, or like a little wasabi or like a ginger.
Damn. Let's get back to the medical talk. So, male nipples.
Male nipples.
They're not useless.
I mean, they have sensation for, people enjoy them sexually sometimes.
How would you know?
You outright, he does, right? Thank you, Ant.
I said that?
Ant's just, he comes in here and he's just like, oh, I'm gonna take a picture.
He like does it for.
That's not what I, but it's not a sexual thing.
Dude loves, loves to play with his nipples.
No, that's crazy. I mean, I will, I'm not against it. I'm not a prude, dude. You want to pull on my nipples, whatever. It is what it is. I'm not, you know.
Now I know why you guys have such a big space.
Hidden rooms.
Yeah, you know?
That's the nipple set over there. My office is up there. There's a lock on the door. Uh, Ant, do one more question?
One more.
None, none of them are, alright, so after that, okay, here we go. Can you actually, is this yours? Can you actually get sick from holding in a fart?
I didn't write that. I did not write that. That was not me.
Have you gotten sick from holding in a fart?
Stop looking at me, I won't. Wasn't me, I hate.
Hold on, you're just closer.
That's fair. I, I notably hate farts. I hate burps. I hate poop talk.
Oh, I can't burp. I have that thing. It's called like RC something. I don't know, I don't know.
RC cola.
I can't.
You have enough of that, you'll burp.
I can't burp. Like it, some, like, very, uh,
what's the opposite of often? Rarely. Uh, very rarely, it'll just kind of like escape and it'll like kind of scare me, but I can't burp.
Scary burps.
Yeah, it just kind of like, it feels like I'm gonna throw up out of nowhere and I'm like, oh.
Interesting. So you have like a sensitive esophagus?
Or something. There, there was, there was something I read online that people, because I saw this like TikTok where someone was talking about it and I was like, oh, this is the thing that I have. And then you can correct it with like Botox and a certain thing. So I think just like a muscle, it's like a muscular thing. I don't know.
I'm not sure.
I'm just so muscular. That's what it is.
That's what it is. You're so fucking ripped. He has a ripped throat.
My, my neck. Look at my neck, dude.
Look at his throat. It's ripped.
We're looking at like sixteen and a half here.
Washboard abs on his Adam's apple.
That's a thick neck.
It is a thick neck, dude. Right.
He doesn't have the ability to relax his throat, is what they're saying.
Yeah. You.
Hey, hey.
Remember when you asked me what's one thing that would phase out of the human body?
Based on survival of the fittest?
Probably that.
I think, uh, an overtight throat.
Yeah, an overt, yeah, you gotta.
You gotta be able to burp.
It's gonna, it's gonna get more loose as the years go on.
You gotta, you gotta loosen your throat up.
What was the question that you asked, by the way?
Oh, your farts.
If you get sick.
Painful farts.
Oh, painful farts.
I didn't write that. I, I wanna make that.
It's not gonna be comfortable. You might be bloated. First of all, farting is normal.
Let's put that out there.
Ten to twenty times a day, totally great to fart.
More even.
That's normal.
What about those people that are like jarring their farts? We talked to someone once that like jarred.
Oh, yeah, there was one who was jarring.
She was like having like, she was having like a pot of cabbage soup a day and then like selling jarred farts.
Interesting. Um, I'm not sure about that. You know, you could absorb your fart and then breathe it out.
Excuse me?
Hold on, what?
I've never, wait, what?
So like you can like suck in through your butt and then the fart will come back?
Your intestines are permeable to certain gases. And those gases can be absorbed. And then released by your lungs.
So you're farting in your own belly?
In your mouth, dude.
Belly is not connected to the lung. You know how they say shin bone connected to the, yeah, like. The belly and the lung are separate.
Your belly?
What about your tummy? Your tummy is filled with a fart?
Wow, that is disgusting.
Well, the entire GI tract is full of air. That's normal, because when you swallow, you swallow some air always. But what's interesting is, do you think what's inside your GI tract is outside or inside your body?
What does that mean? Well, hold on. See, now you're asking questions that he can't follow. Wait, what's inside my body?
Yeah, is it inside, is it technically, like if, the food you eat, is it inside your body?
Yeah, where else would it be?
Well, technically, like.
Oh, it's like.
It's a straight pipe.
Well, not straight pipe.
So like, we're kind of like a straw.
So if, so, hear me out. So then if you were to take someone and hold them like ass over water.
And like suck on their mouth long enough, will you get water through their mouth? Like a straw?
There's too many sphincters preventing that.
I don't know what you're talking about. No, oh my god, the email that I'm gonna get is just gonna be pages and pages.
You heard that one?
Put that one down.
It's gonna make you laugh, dad? Would, would that go down as one of the worst questions you've ever heard?
I mean, there's, I think that we've hit like the top ten. All ten. All ten have been.
It's definitely, it's definitely up there. I mean, that was rough. But it probably wouldn't smell.
But what do you, what do you? You didn't answer my question.
Sorry.
Your question is.
I know, I did answer your question. So there's too many sphincters that prevent that from happening.
How many sphincters does a normal person have?
A lot.
You have tons of sphincters. I thought there was only one sphincter.
Where? The a-?
The sphincter.
No, there's the pyloric sphincter. I mean, there's other sphincters, man.
See, I didn't know this. Thank you, see? What a dumb question. We learned from it.
This is, uh, yeah.
The, what you're saying is like, it's outside. What do you mean by that?
Well, because like, again, it's like, there is a hole going through your body.
That connect two exits. So it's like-
The space around is the body.
Is what's inside the body, like, inside the blood vessels, inside the fascia? What if there's a hole going through all of it?
Ah. Like a straw.
It's like insane for me to think about.
Yeah. Think about it, think about it simply, uh, from like a worm perspective. A worm eats and then it just has like, a thing that goes through it. That's easier to picture than our complicated system.
That's so, I honestly, I, it never even occurred to me that it's like, there's Frank, "Shut up." Cause you asked one of the dumbest things I've ever heard in my entire life.
Now I know how he got sepsis.
For this.
If you help someone outside now, what are you talking about?
I'm gonna get an email from my hospital administrator that's like, "Dr. Mike, you were posed this question about sucking
water through the human judge."
That's actually, that's actually a good question. Is any of your content made, any people that you've worked with or your superiors like have to tell you like, "Listen."
No, they're, they actually are super supportive, so it's nice.
What's gonna put that in the test?
I mean, after this, who knows?
What they say. Oh my god, dude.
This is really not good.
Can you imagine you breathe farts?
Yeah, no, that's just, hard, yeah.
But farts smell bad because of the sulfur components, and that's not one that you regularly will breathe out.
Is there methane in there?
For methane producers.
So you could die from it. With enough of it.
Of what?
Farting. Like in a small room, a lot of methane?
Damn it.
Is it true, and I don't know if you would have the answer to this, but like, the ozone is potentially ruined because of all the methane from kowt?
Not an environmental doctor, different doctor.
My god, that was awesome.
I'm not an oracle.
Dude, you are so honest.
Let's be honest.
These guys like Neo.
This is the most important episode we've ever had because we are asking anything and everything like, "What, uh, happens after death?"
We're gonna ask it and you're gonna help us get there.
Oh my god, dude. Well, this is a good time. We appreciate you so much.
Yeah, thank you for coming, man.
It's nice to see that there's other creators in New York. I feel like there's few of us.
Come hang out.
Yeah, come hang.
Ball.
Do you ball?
Uh, yeah, I ball.
Where do you ball?
Well, I don't ball like that. I've balled. I can ball.
I was gonna say, the last-
There has to be a blue ball question coming.
There was a blue ball question.
See, I knew it.
There was.
No, you know what it is.
Don't ask me. I didn't write it. Someone here wrote it.
Doctor.
I didn't write it.
You did.
No, I did not.
How would you define it?
Blue balls. It's a hurting of my balls. I've never had it happen.
Why are you asking? Oh, well, I am. I am closer to being a doctor than he is. We've already established that.
So, doctor, what is a blue ball?
Blue balls are a buildup of...
Semen?
Sperm and semen in the testicular region that as it is traveling through, it kinda gets stopped at the door by the bouncer. And it's just like, we are at capacity. Or we're not letting anyone in tonight.
Out.
Private event.
Not letting anyone out.
But like, they're standing at like, the base of the shaft and they're just like, "Stay here."
And then?
And then, and then it just stays there and it's just like, it's like when, you know, when people like, like an overcrowded room, you know?
Uncomfortable.
Too much in there and it's like, well, the walls are gonna burst at a certain point.
Nailed it.
Did I?
I mean, it was, it was a good swing, good swing.
But you, it wasn't exactly in the right direction.
I mean, I'm not looking for exacts, but at least give me like, I am on the right path.
Well, semen is not involved in the process at all.
Gotcha.
So, blue balls is epididymal congestion or hypertension. So basically, you get a lot of blood flow to your genital area, that increases pressure, but then when you don't orgasm, that pressure just builds and stays.
But it's a blood flow issue, it's a vascular issue.
Oh, it's like a penis heart attack?
That sounded, for some reason, that sounded so smart.
It did.
Absolutely not, it's not like that at all, actually.
Absolutely not.
A penis heart attack is more like when you have, you know one of those erections that lasts more than eight hours? They always say on the commercials?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Because literally, that blood sits there, and because it's losing oxygen, it's acidifying, it's damaging the endothelial lining there. So yeah, that's like a penis heart attack.
Oh, so if that, oh wow.
That's why they gotta drain it.
I never, I-
They have to drain it?
Yeah, they poke it with a needle.
Needle and everything.
So don't do it.
Well, I mean-
I wouldn't even know how.
Well, they say like with those like-
Gas station pills?
Yeah, like horny goat weed.
That'll get you going.
Horny goat weed?
That's what it's called.
I mean, you grew up in New York, you don't remember going to the bodega and seeing any horny, horny goat weed behind, right next to the fart bags?
Tell me what you did in this bodega.
Is that how you got substance?
Right next to the fart bags!
Lemon heads, I got lemon heads.
Lemon heads, lemon heads.
I was getting lemon heads, you were buying horny goat weed.
You remember Rainblow, the gum balls that had like the food dye in them, so your mouth would turn different colors?
What the hell are you talking about?
You had an interesting childhood, sir.
Don't, don't-
Two bucks, two, two bucks for me.
Don't, yeah, no, like you don't, seriously, you never went into a bodega and saw like horny goat weed?
We went to different bodegas, sir.
They, they, they're like, um-
It's like a pill and it literally has a goat on it, or like people making out. And it's called horny goat weed. Look it up.
What would happen when you would take it?
I didn't take it. I've never taken it.
But you know so much about it.
It's at the counter.
It's at the counter. It's like, it's used as like, you know, the like, uh, fuck, what's it called?
Viagra?
Viagra. It was like the like, bodega Viagra, basically.
Well, interesting, Viagra and all those medications, sildenafil, uh, they, in the commercials, you'll hear them safe. You have an erection last thing more than four hours. It almost never happens as a result of just those medications. So, they don't really cause that.
What do those medications do? It's just like a, that's like blood?
It's a circulation thing.
But like, how does it target the balls? Or like dick?
It doesn't. That's why some people get bloodshot when they, their eyes get bloodshot when they take it. Their nose sometimes runs, because it opens all the blood vessels.
It's a vasorelaxer.
And this is serious. I don't think I've known someone that's ever taken them. And I guess they wouldn't publicize that to me. I, I don't know.
It's because you're not a doctor.
I know plenty of people who've taken them.
Well, have you prescribed it?
Why do you say it like that?
Well, because you're making it sound like I'm a fake doctor.
No, no, no, no, no.
You ever prescribe antibiotics?
No, no, no, no, don't do that. I don't want this to come off as disrespectful.
Have you ever heard of amoxicillin?
I just didn't know if it was something you've ever done before, like.
After horny goat weed, he totally disbelieved that I'm a physician. You don't know horny goat weed? Where'd you get your license?
No, that's more about the growing up in New York part of it that I'm surprised.
Airheads, lemonheads, that's what I was doing.
Ooh, are you an airhead guy? What color airhead?
Uh, that's a good question. I think the white one.
Oh my god, dude. You used to like to live on the edge, guy.
You used to like to-
Because you just never know.
I don't believe that. I think they figured out that it was a flavor they just-
Oh, it is?
Yeah, I think it's like, all of the white ones are like, that flavor.
But it's like, mystery.
Oh. Do you guys have, uh, scholastic book fairs?
Hell yeah, dude.
They don't have that anymore.
What do they do now?
It hurts, yeah.
Who reads?
I mean, wait a sec. No, they had a book fair at one of my, I think at Miles's school.
I don't know. I said that without actually knowing.
Welcome to the show, baby!
Oh no, I'm being infected. It's in the air.
It's in the air. Welcome to the show. Soon you're gonna go home, get septic. No, no, no, it's not, it's not as prominent as like when we were kids, but like, they do book, like book sales to some degree. I know that because like, we've given the kids like money and they've come back with books and stuff like that.
I used to love the book fair.
Oh my god, this is classic.
I wouldn't even buy books.
When you'd get that paper and you'd just be like, oh shit, I can buy like three pounds of slime. Dude, I love Goosebumps.
Yeah, I never read a book from Goosebumps, but I just had them.
Did you watch the show?
Yeah, touched the cover, yeah. There was a show?
Oh, oh, oh, they're like the little movies. Was that a TV show?
It was a show and they're episodic. Where, are you guys kidding me with this?
You don't remember Ryan Gosling was in one?
Ryan?
As a, as a child.
As a child actor, yeah. And the Say Cheese and Die episode. Yeah.
You're welcome.
That's a full grown adult actor.
I did not know that.
Dude, I, I don't know where they're available. It might be on Netflix, but like, a piece of like nostalgia.
I just saw R.L. Stine on that Golden Show, the collectible show. He was like auctioning off something. Actually, it might have been from the show.
Dude, apparently, I don't know how true this is, the rumor is that he has sold more copies of Goosebumps than Stephen King has sold copies of his novel.
Yeah, I heard that too. I think that's, I think that's accurate.
That's crazy dude, R.L. Stine.
Legend.
Absolute legend. Hope he's not on the list.
Also, looks like the guy who would write that book.
I can't picture him in my head.
You've never seen a picture of, oh, you just said you saw him.
No, he was on the show, but I just can't.
Oh man, he looks like R.L. Stine. There's no other way to describe it. And Stephen King looks like Stephen King. You know, you know, you know that one.
Are you afraid of the dark? Were you a fan of that as a kid?
No, I was really afraid of the dark.
No, the show.
Oh, sorry.
Wait, you're afraid of the dark now?
You got a nightlight?
Now less, now noise more.
He, he took a therapy, uh, psychology class, so he can help therapize you. Let's.
Wait, you uh, you have, would you say you're afraid of noise?
Noise, at night.
What is it? Oh, at night.
You grew up in New York, brother.
He lives in the burbs.
I know, now it's true.
Yeah, if I hear anything, I'm.
I'm nervous.
Yo, I'm telling you, since moving out of the city, you hear something, I get freaked out. I'm like, fuck, this is not good.
Cause it's supposed to be quiet.
And then the house makes a noise, I don't like that type of shit.
And then when it's not?
I moved into an apartment that was in like an old building once.
Oh, the creeks.
It was my second night there and like, I don't know why I do this to myself. I got in bed and I was like, what if this place is haunted? That was my first thought. Then I start hearing banging.
And it like, I'm used to. It was not, but I'm hearing banging and I'm like, what, what is that? And then I, it was, it ended up being the heat, but it didn't sound like a, like a radiator or anything. Um, I walked outside and then there's like one pole, like on the opposite side of my apartment that was running. I thought there was someone in my apartment. I ran downstairs.
That's scary.
Well, come at me then.
Yo, like particularly when like, uh, like the winter is coming because the ground is swelling and shit like that, like the houses, like my house shifts. So like, you'll just randomly in the middle of the night here, just like. Yeah, I don't like that. Uh oh.
It ain't fun.
I think you're very mentally strong. If you could turn off the light in your basement and slowly walk up the stairs.
I do that.
I haven't done that.
I feel like I always kind of run.
When I was a kid, that movie Thirteen Ghosts ruined me. You remember that movie?
What did you watch as a kid?
You named two things.
Nickelodeon.
And you didn't see Rugrats?
Are you afraid of the dark? Rugrats is a great show.
Doug, Hey Arthur?
Doug, doo doo doo, Hey Arnold, Hey Arthur? Or Arthur is a different.
There is an Arthur.
The art bar. Arthur was on PBS.
Hey Arnold.
Hey Arnold, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Well, Arthur was on PBS.
That was the good kid show.
No, I watched that.
You've got good grades.
Yeah, exactly, yeah. Well, look at you, you're doing alright for your age. You probably watched it.
You know what they call the person?
I was watching fricking Dexter's Laboratory, Ed, Ed and Eddie.
Oh, that's a good one though.
Those are both very good, yeah.
Powerpuff Girls?
Those are good times. What do they watch now?
I don't even know.
You wanna know?
TikTok.
Oh, no way.
Yeah, I think so.
I know, the kid, my kids watch, Bluey's a big one. Bluey is big.
Yeah, but that's like.
Is that like clues?
No, ki- actually, you know, kinda. It's about blue Australian dogs.
But like, no, it's, it's a really endearing, like, there's some episodes-
Like Clifford, but now he's blue.
Yeah, not really, like, it's like, the whole world is dogs.
Oh, I see.
Except for like-
That's a good life.
Seagulls and shit like that, and it's from Australia. You know, they have one like, child's program that does well-
I wanna know what person, I, I wanna know two people's mindsets. One, who writes a book that says, "Ah, imagine the whole world was dogs and seagulls."
And second, who is the first person to see a cow udder and go, "I wanna suck on that."
Hell yeah, dude. Wait, what?
No, no, no, I, I, I, I agree, I would like to know what that mentality-
You ever milk a cow?
Whoa dude. Doc, we gotta get you out there-
We gotta get you at the farm.
You're, you're not into raw milk.
You grew up in Queens, where are you milking cows?
We went to the zoos, my guy!
Field trip?
Yeah!
Like a field trip.
You went to a nice school?
We went to public schools, baby. We didn't go anywhere nice, okay?
What school'd you go to?
PS2.
Oh, see, you went to the low schools, I went to PS104. By the time they got to the hundreds-
That doesn't matter, there's 112 down the line! Yeah, first of all, when they get to the hundreds, it's the scraps. 2 is just like, yo, this is like, the good, this is a good one.
That's why they took you to the goat farms.
We went to a- But no, in our, in our pre-k, we went to the-
I didn't even get to do pre-k.
They sheared a sheep in front of me, I was like, yo, this is fucked up, I'm sure they're killing it.
I'm telling you right now, you, you ever milk a cow?
It'll change your life.
Yeah?
It'll change your life. It's just like, not what you expect.
It doesn't feel-
What do you expect?
I expected to, it like-
I don't expect much.
It feel, like, I thought it would be like, a balloon, like, very light, and, but like, there's some weight to it.
Mmm.
They're heavy.
And then, if you milk a cow in a metal bucket-
Now we're talking.
The sound is good.
Oh, there's some art from that along.
How did you do that?
It was really good.
No, that didn't sound anything like it, but that was an insane sound. That was an insane sound.
Did you have a bionic cow?
I'm very good with sounds.
A spaceship.
Not recreating them, obviously.
I'm pretty good with sounds and impressions, I can do-
Have you, have you milked a cow?
I have never milked a cow, no.
This is ridiculous.
See, we could do a field trip, we could all go.
We're leaving right now, to go milk a cow, I don't even know-
I think RFK will come.
Yeah, he will.
That's like, the third mention of RFK on this episode.
He loves raw milk and jeans.
Yeah, and you're talking about udders.
He does, you know what, if anyone knows what udders feel like, it's probably RFK, he's getting that raw milk straight from the source, baby.
The idea of drinking milk out of an udder is...
That's what raw milk is.
No, I know, it's just-
I don't, I don't get it.
Yeah, I'm really good with like homogenized milk, you know, like I'm good with that.
It's pasteurized, I say.
Anyway.
Well, my favorite is when they go, "I love raw milk, but I boil it."
It's no longer raw, it's gluey pasteur in the flesh.
And now it's cooked.
Like the hot dogs that you used to have.
I put it through a strainer. Like I, you know, it's not raw. Yeah.
I boil it. Through a cheesecloth.
Well, that's why like a lot of the people who are anti-vaccine are like, "Why don't doctors think about prevention ever? You guys are all about treatments with your pharma." And I'm like, "Vaccines."
They prevent the illness.
And they go, "No, but not vaccines."
Gotcha. Not because it's supporting, it's not supporting their argument.
But it is, so I don't get it.
I think you did a great job dealing with probably some of the most...
I mean, they're great people.
I'm gonna be nice, I'm gonna be nice, I'm gonna be nice, I'm not gonna do it. You showed a lot of patience and I don't know how you did it.
Well, the purpose is to get everyone on the same page because vaccines only work when all of us buy in. And I'm not selling them to get people to buy in. I'm selling them because they work and I'm telling the truth and we want to not have measles again. See?
I don't want measles.
I want to make America healthy again by going back to where we were before the measles outbreaks.
If you can give one parting sentiment to people.
What would it be?
"Trust your doctor, not RFK."
That's a good sentiment.
That's really good, yeah. I mean, you're not gonna get an argument out of it.
He literally says, "Do not trust experts." That's his, that's, these are quotes.
Yeah, I mean...
He says certain vaccines have killed more people than they save. I mean...
Yeah. Would you ever do a sit-down interview with RFK?
I would love it.
I would, I would box him, whatever he wants to do.
Oh shit!
I fought, I'm a professional fighter.
You have to, well, you're a professional fighter?
I fought on Showtime pay-per-view.
Fight Frank right now.
Fight me right now.
I can't, if I hit you, I can go to jail for-
Lethal weapon.
I won't call.
No, he'll sign, we'll have him sign something.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I won't call him, Doc.
That's not a thing you can sign.
We're not gonna call him.
I can sign it.
You can't sign-
Who says I can't sign it?
A waiver, look at a doctor.
Who are you to tell me I can't sign it?
Where's the lawyer?
Yeah, where's the lawyer?
Ant's a lawyer.
I can do it, we'll have a doctor sign off, and then-
I can't be the one killing him and treating him? Wait, so what, you're a trained, what, boxer? Oh, wow.
Yeah, I fought on Jake Paul's undercard.
Oh, nice.
Did you win?
Nice.
But I won my first one against iDubs, I don't know if you guys know who that is?
Oh, I do, he's a YouTuber, right?
Yeah, I beat him up pretty bad.
There you go, dude. So you're tall?
Fight-
Great, gray head of hair, if I may say so myself. From what head of hair to another head of hair?
You know, someone accused me of having a toupee the other day.
That's nice.
What fucking, you know, people just wanna see, like, they see people that are doing well for themselves and they're happy and they're just like, I wanna fucking ruin that person.
I just, I'd love to see what they're seeing.
Do the, do the Trump thing, try to rip your hair off right now.
Does he?
Oh, I see the, I saw the stitches.
Cute, yo, you know how fucking funny it would be if it just came off? Stuck into the wall?
That would've pissed my pants.
You guys now use generative AI banana, whatever it is?
Oh, yeah, nano banana, whatever the fuck it is, yeah.
That would be crazy.
Just have Dr. Mike ripping his fucking hair off and putting it on the wall.
Say, we can fight. Oh, oh, that wasn't too bad.
He saddled-
That was-
We could fight. You could, you could-
No, I fought a, you know who Nate Diaz is?
I fought his, like, trading partner in boy, Chris Avila, that's who I fought. He has, like, 30 pro fights.
Goddamn.
That was a crazy thing you did, man.
Good for you, man.
And I lost on the judge's scorecards, he didn't knock me out.
Who cares? You won in your heart, right?
Oh, yeah, I won.
That's, that's it, that's all you need.
I mean, uh, we, because of that, we were able to donate 125,000 to the Harlem Boys and Girls Club, which is like-
So I got paid for the fight.
That's awesome.
Sweet.
So that was cool.
Oh, you did it just to donate the money?
Yeah, for the funsies.
What a guy.
Works in a hospital.
I don't recommend it. Don't fight. That's not good.
But I did it.
Do as I say, not as I do type situation.
There we go.
That's a good line.
And the tongue can lick them both.
That doesn't add anything at all.
We could have gone without the second part.
Uh, but, do you wanna just plug like your YouTube channel and everything?
Yeah, check it out, Dr. Mike. It's everywhere.
It's pretty cool that I own kind of Dr. Mike. Like, that's a pretty common name.
There's one Dr. Mike.
I used to see the billboard on the Turnpike all the time, my friend.
There's a billboard?
There was a billboard. Yeah, see? Every day I would drive-
Of Dr. Mike?
Yeah, every day I would drive home. Dr. Mike, the internet's number, or YouTube number one doctor, and I was just like, oh shit.
Thank you, YouTube.
What'd it say? What was it like?
That's all it said. It was a picture of him, like...
Stethoscope or not?
Uh, yeah, of course.
You gotta get the stethoscope.
Scrubs. And it said, "Dr. Mike."
How long ago was this?
Very recent.
This has to be a long time ago.
Within the last, like, three years, maybe? I would say, three, four years? Yeah.
Interesting.
That's great.
Sam knows.
That's amazing. Well, we thank you so much for being on the show today.
Thank you so much.
Anytime you guys have questions, I'll stop by. I'm not far.
We'll see you next week, thank you. You might get a call in the middle of an episode.
That's okay. I'm always on call.
If Kristen Bell can do it, then I'm gonna hit you up.
Oh, yeah. You're getting, you're getting a message, 100%.
It's like, "Hey, man, uh, Frank's trying to convince me to drink my own piss." Or, we're just gonna use Dr. Mike, I think, like...
We'll have, we'll have him on standby for you.
We'll have a Dr. Mike button.
When Frank starts making shit up.
I'm telling the doctor now that you said that. But, uh, yeah, uh, go follow Dr. Mike everywhere. Makes awesome content, uh, Instagram everywhere. And, uh, that is all. See you guys next time.
Page updated October 31, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated