The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Brace Belden - Episode 86

The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Brace Belden - Episode 86 Follow: https://www.instagram.com/trueanonpod/ Merch Now Live: https://theadamfriedland.show/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theadamfriedlandshow/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@adamfriedlandshowclips Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TAFS Subscribe to @TheAdamFriedlandShow for more here: https://bit.ly/sub-tafs Sign up to Patreon for Premium Podcast Episodes and to Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/TAFS -- LIVE SHOWS: ADAM FRIEDLAND: https://www.adamfriedland.com/tour NICK MULLEN: https://www.mull.dog/live-shows #theadamfriedlandshow #tafs #nickmullen #adamfriedland #bracebelden Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  I'm pro-football Hall of Famer Brian Dawkins, and I lived for a long time with something I did not know the name of: major depressive disorder. I carried sadness and anger because I thought I could handle it alone, but I couldn't. Now I want to make sure others know that that support is out there. If you're experiencing similar symptoms, talk to a healthcare professional. Visit MDDAllies.com to watch my story.

• 0:25Speaker 01

  Paid partnership with Johnson & Johnson. Brian Dawkins has not prescribed Caplyta lumateperone.

• 0:37Speaker 02

  I needed more from my antidepressant, so my doctor added Caplyta lumateperone, proven to provide greater relief from depression symptoms than an antidepressant alone, building on my progress without starting over. Caplyta is for adults with major depressive disorder when used with an antidepressant and is available by prescription only. Individual results may vary. In clinical trials, weight gain was not common.

• 0:57Speaker 01

  Elderly dementia patients have increased risk of death or stroke. Caplyta is not approved for dementia-related psychosis. Call your doctor about new or sudden mood changes, behaviors, or suicidal thoughts right away. Antidepressants may increase these risks. Report fever, confusion, stiff muscles, which may be life-threatening, or uncontrolled muscle movements, which may be permanent. High cholesterol and weight gain may occur, as can high blood sugar, which may be fatal. Monitoring is recommended. Common side effects are sleepiness, dizziness, nausea, dry mouth, feeling tired, and diarrhea. These aren't all the side effects.

• 1:24Speaker 02

  Ask your doctor about Caplyta. Learn more at caplyta.com or call 888-252-4824. Are you looking for support in your weight management journey? Zepbound terzepatide may be able to help. Zepbound is a prescription medicine used with a reduced-calorie diet and increased physical activity to help adults with obesity, or some adults with overweight who also have weight-related medical problems to lose excess body weight and keep the weight off. Zepbound is approved as a 2.5, 5, 7.5, 10, 12.5, or 15-milligram injection. Zepbound contains terzepatide and should not be used with other terzepatide-containing products or any GLP-1 receptor agonist medicines. It is not known if Zepbound is safe and effective for use in children.

• 2:10Speaker 02

  Share needles or pens or reuse needles. Don't take if allergic to it. Or if you or someone in your family had medullary thyroid cancer. Or if you've had multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type two. Tell your doctor if you get a lump or swelling in your neck. Stop Zepbound and call your doctor if you have severe stomach pain or a serious allergic reaction. Severe side effects may include inflamed pancreas or gallbladder problems. Tell your doctor if you experience vision changes before scheduled procedures with anesthesia. If you're nursing, pregnant, plan to be, or taking birth control pills. Taking Zepbound with a sulfonylurea or insulin may cause low blood sugar. Side effects include nausea, diarrhea, and vomiting, which can cause dehydration and worsen kidney problems. Talk to your doctor.

• 2:52Speaker 02

  Call 1-800-545-5979 or visit zepbound.lily.com.

• 3:09Adam Friedland?

  Hello, hello.

• 3:10Speaker 04

  Hello, hello.

• 3:12Adam Friedland?

  Mundos, tres, cutours. Welcome to the Adam Friedland Show. We got Bryce Belden in the house today.

• 3:18Speaker 04

  Hello.

• 3:19Adam Friedland?

  Mr. Belden, how are you?

• 3:20Speaker 04

  I am.

• 3:22Adam Friedland?

  You got a hot new podcast out, Chapo Trap House. How's it going?

• 3:25Speaker 04

  Chapo Trap House. I'm looking for unlicensed sex noises. I found this sex sound with, from Bishal Banjat in the playlist.

• 3:36Adam Friedland?

  Bishar Al Asad.

• 3:38Speaker 04

  Free male sex noises.

• 3:41Adam Friedland?

  Okay, so we're not gonna get DMCA'd for this.

• 3:43Speaker 04

  It says free male sex noise.

• 3:45Adam Friedland?

  All right, let's just hear it.

• 3:46Speaker 04

  It's up to, it's up to Nick.

• 3:49Speaker 04

  Free male sex noises.

• 3:49Adam Friedland?

  I just wanna hear what another guy sounds like when he's having sex. You know, I've only heard hot chicks.

• 3:57Speaker 04

  Oh, that's just a guy talking. This is bullshit.

• 4:02Adam Friedland?

  Alright, so we're off to a hot start today. Happy holidays to everyone.

• 4:05Speaker 04

  Happy holidays.

• 4:06Speaker 05

  Happy holidays. It's Christmas.

• 4:07Adam Friedland?

  It's Christmas time.

• 4:08Speaker 05

  Merry Christmas.

• 4:09Adam Friedland?

  We walked past Macy's today.

• 4:10Speaker 05

  This is coming out on Christmas, so you should say Merry Christmas.

• 4:13Adam Friedland?

  Merry Christmas. We're gonna say Merry Christmas again.

• 4:16Speaker 05

  You say happy holidays in November.

• 4:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 4:18Speaker 05

  Or even the beginning of December.

• 4:19Speaker 04

  Well, actually.

• 4:20Speaker 05

  If you hit somebody with that happy holidays bullshit on Christmas, that's too far.

• 4:25Speaker 04

  That's like, that's pushing it.

• 4:26Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, yeah. That's, that's fucking.

• 4:28Speaker 04

  The problem is though, I think Hanukkah starts on Christmas this year.

• 4:32Speaker 05

  Does it?

• 4:32Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 4:33Speaker 04

  Which doesn't seem right.

• 4:34Speaker 05

  But you just even listen to the way you're saying that. Hanukkah starts on Christmas.

• 4:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's true. Christmas starts on Hanukkah.

• 4:40Speaker 05

  That's Hanukkah's problem.

• 4:41Speaker 04

  It is. You celebrating this year?

• 4:44Adam Friedland?

  Hanukkah?

• 4:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 4:45Adam Friedland?

  Absolutely not.

• 4:46Speaker 04

  No, it's horrible.

• 4:47Adam Friedland?

  I quit.

• 4:48Speaker 05

  What's wrong with it?

• 4:49Speaker 04

  It's just.

• 4:49Speaker 05

  You fucking just light a candle at the end of the day. You don't have to fucking do anything.

• 4:53Speaker 04

  We don't have to do anything for anything.

• 4:54Speaker 05

  It's the easiest holiday. No, Christmas.

• 4:57Adam Friedland?

  No, it's hard, actually.

• 4:57Speaker 05

  You gotta put up decorations and shit. You gotta.

• 5:00Adam Friedland?

  You have a tree in your house?

• 5:01Speaker 05

  No.

• 5:01Adam Friedland?

  We got a tree.

• 5:02Speaker 05

  No.

• 5:03Adam Friedland?

  It's great.

• 5:04Speaker 04

  I don't put plants in my house. It's all electronics. Yeah.

• 5:10Adam Friedland?

  You're copying, that's Nick's style.

• 5:12Speaker 05

  I just don't have room for a plant. Cause if I got a plant, I would want a.

• 5:15Adam Friedland?

  It's better for the air or some shit.

• 5:17Speaker 04

  I got, I got some plants.

• 5:18Speaker 05

  Giant like nineteen twenties ferns.

• 5:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Turn your house into a jungle.

• 5:23Speaker 05

  That's what I like. I like that look.

• 5:25Speaker 04

  Are you completely plantsless?

• 5:27Speaker 05

  I bought ferns before and they die, cause you have to like bring them over to the.

• 5:32Adam Friedland?

  You have to play Beethoven.

• 5:33Speaker 04

  To put them in the fucking water.

• 5:35Speaker 05

  You gotta, yeah. Well, watering them is not the problem. It's figuring out the right amount of sunlight.

• 5:38Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 5:39Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's not something I can figure out.

• 5:41Speaker 05

  You have a dark apartment. An orchid for a while.

• 5:43Speaker 04

  Those are tough.

• 5:44Speaker 05

  No, the ones they sell, the, what are they called? The, um, fowls?

• 5:50Adam Friedland?

  We got a florist right here.

• 5:51Speaker 05

  Falla, Falla paninis?

• 5:52Speaker 04

  We didn't sell.

• 5:53Speaker 05

  The Falla paninis orchid.

• 5:55Speaker 04

  The Falla paninis orchid?

• 5:57Adam Friedland?

  Oh, the micro paninis.

• 5:58Speaker 05

  The Falla.

• 5:58Speaker 04

  Do you spritz them with a little bottle?

• 6:01Speaker 05

  Um, I did that for a little bit, but no, you just stick your finger in the, in the moss.

• 6:07Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, to see if the, if it's dry.

• 6:09Speaker 05

  Yeah, see if it's dry.

• 6:10Speaker 04

  Good god.

• 6:12Adam Friedland?

  I thought you were a florist.

• 6:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, but that's like two different.

• 6:14Adam Friedland?

  Were you, were you a florist?

• 6:15Speaker 04

  I was a florist for six years.

• 6:18Adam Friedland?

  And what do they call, what do they, the, the? For Italian men?

• 6:20Speaker 05

  No, the real, the, the easy orchid is called like a, a phalaenopaninus.

• 6:25Speaker 04

  Well, we didn't even sell, you gotta understand, we didn't even sell that. I worked for three Greek brothers.

• 6:30Adam Friedland?

  Uh huh.

• 6:30Speaker 04

  At a flower stand on the side of the highway for years.

• 6:34Adam Friedland?

  Mm-hmm.

• 6:35Speaker 04

  At one point like.

• 6:36Speaker 05

  Oh shit.

• 6:37Adam Friedland?

  What highway?

• 6:37Speaker 04

  It's black.

• 6:39Adam Friedland?

  It's black dude.

• 6:39Speaker 04

  It's black. You want me to get it?

• 6:42Speaker 05

  No, it's alright. I just don't, I'm worried it's gonna.

• 6:47Speaker 04

  It's gonna look like later it's, there's gonna be a stand there.

• 6:49Speaker 05

  I'm not worried how it looks like, cause then it might, you know, it's not soaking, so it might spill.

• 6:52Adam Friedland?

  You have that event later too.

• 6:54Speaker 05

  Well, I gotta, that's tops and, tops and tails.

• 6:57Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 6:58Speaker 05

  You wear a top hat and a tail and you're otherwise completely nude.

• 7:01Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, yeah, but a butt plug with a tail coming out, yeah.

• 7:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, little fox things. Um, no, I worked at a flower stand for six years on the side of the highway in San Francisco and it was.

• 7:11Adam Friedland?

  What highways are in San Francisco?

• 7:13Speaker 04

  Fucking, it's multiple highways.

• 7:15Adam Friedland?

  Really?

• 7:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, but 19th Avenue is where I was off of.

• 7:18Adam Friedland?

  Like, okay.

• 7:19Speaker 04

  I worked for three Greek brothers, uh, and.

• 7:21Adam Friedland?

  The three Greeks?

• 7:22Speaker 04

  It was, the orchids were like two, I would ask about orchids sometimes, cause people would ask about them, and they're like, we don't sell that shit. Like, that's like too fancy for us.

• 7:30Adam Friedland?

  Really?

• 7:31Speaker 04

  We just sold, we sold a dozen roses for $7.99.

• 7:34Adam Friedland?

  So it was like a supermarket?

• 7:36Speaker 04

  No, it was.

• 7:37Adam Friedland?

  I mean, that's like the price of the supermarket.

• 7:38Speaker 04

  It's like the price of a supermarket, yeah. That was our big, our big competitor was the Safeway flower section.

• 7:43Speaker 05

  I, I, I live in New York, so I don't believe that you should own anything, you know, if you want something, you go see it where it's available to the public.

• 7:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, you don't, you don't bring it at home.

• 7:52Speaker 05

  Go to the botanical garden if you want fucking plants.

• 7:54Speaker 04

  That's where plants live. It's like, well, I, having plants at home, it's like.

• 7:56Speaker 05

  I don't need a tiger at my house. I don't live in fucking, you know, the.

• 8:00Adam Friedland?

  Central Park is a St. Louis suburb.

• 8:01Speaker 04

  I'm with you on that. It's like when people have big dogs in their little apartments. It's like, no, you go see the dog.

• 8:06Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 8:07Speaker 04

  Where they're supposed to roam, which is like burnt out streets or whatever, but you bring them home with you?

• 8:13Speaker 05

  No, I don't, yeah.

• 8:14Speaker 04

  I don't do anything.

• 8:15Adam Friedland?

  You've never said that when you're in my apartment?

• 8:18Speaker 04

  Yeah, but your dog is like-

• 8:19Speaker 05

  You don't really have a big dog. She just has a big head. She's a pit bull.

• 8:23Speaker 04

  And you need it.

• 8:24Adam Friedland?

  Medium dog. I really need that.

• 8:25Speaker 04

  Cause like if someone broke in your house, you're not gonna do anything.

• 8:28Adam Friedland?

  I got a billy club. I showed it to you.

• 8:29Speaker 04

  Yeah, but you're not gonna use it.

• 8:30Adam Friedland?

  No, I'm gonna protect my family with that billy club.

• 8:32Speaker 05

  Somebody would be stealing-

• 8:33Adam Friedland?

  I was actually carrying shit out of his apartment.

• 8:35Speaker 04

  Somebody's gonna steal the billy club.

• 8:36Speaker 05

  And he would go, "Excuse me, hello?"

• 8:38Speaker 04

  Are you, what are you doing here? Did I have, are you delivering something?

• 8:41Speaker 05

  "Excuse me, hello?"

• 8:42Speaker 04

  You're delivering something?

• 8:44Speaker 05

  Take her, take her!

• 8:46Speaker 04

  You think Icy would protect you?

• 8:47Adam Friedland?

  No.

• 8:49Speaker 04

  You don't?

• 8:49Adam Friedland?

  Probably. No, Icy doesn't bark. Icy sleeps-

• 8:51Speaker 05

  The dog probably would go for you.

• 8:52Speaker 04

  It's a vicious killer kinda dog.

• 8:54Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, but how's the dog know it's a bad guy?

• 8:56Speaker 05

  Cause you're crying.

• 8:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, cause the first black guy you let in the house.

• 9:00Adam Friedland?

  Well, why wouldn't the dog attack my girlfriend? I'm constantly-

• 9:03Speaker 04

  That's true, yeah. Yeah, cause you don't let her, you don't let them be around each other.

• 9:07Speaker 05

  Cause your girlfriend has cast a spell on the dog with her tampons.

• 9:10Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, she has.

• 9:11Speaker 04

  That's true.

• 9:12Speaker 05

  Well, she, she just-

• 9:12Speaker 04

  You feed that shit to them.

• 9:13Adam Friedland?

  No, she, she eats the panties of period, after the- Dogs eat men, like when a girl's on menstruating, the dog will eat the, the crotch part of the panties.

• 9:23Speaker 05

  Isn't that gross? And it's like, what, that you bleed all over the place like a dog would?

• 9:27Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 9:28Speaker 04

  It is fucked that dogs get periods, too.

• 9:30Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 9:31Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 9:32Adam Friedland?

  I asked my girlfriend if I can get her spayed, but she's not down, or neutered. I don't know what the one-

• 9:37Speaker 05

  You're- Spade. You know when I was a kid, cause you know, I only knew about that from, what is it, fucking Wheel of Fortune? Or, uh, what's it called? Price is Right?

• 9:45Adam Friedland?

  Price is Right.

• 9:46Speaker 05

  And it, I thought, when I was a kid, I thought they said, "And remember to have your pets sprayed or neutered," right? So I thought if the dog was a girl, they had like a, like there was a spray, like an anti-vagina spray.

• 9:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 9:58Speaker 05

  That you just spray in there, like they sprayed acid into the dog's cunt. And it like burns.

• 10:04Speaker 04

  How do they, how do they cut the-

• 10:05Speaker 05

  They remove the ovaries.

• 10:06Speaker 04

  How do they do that? They go in there?

• 10:08Speaker 05

  They remove the ovaries, yeah, they go in there. But I thought it was, until I was- Twenty seven years old. I thought it was like a, they just like put it like, they'd spray like hydrochloric acid into the pussy.

• 10:20Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 10:20Speaker 04

  Jesus Christ.

• 10:21Speaker 05

  It's like a chemical burn.

• 10:23Speaker 04

  Jesus.

• 10:24Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 10:24Speaker 04

  I, I, I don't know if I told you about this before, but when I was a kid, I got sent away and lived on like a, I know I told you about that. But Indian Reservation. Um, but.

• 10:34Speaker 05

  You were, you wanted to be a, you wanted to be a Native American for?

• 10:37Speaker 04

  I want to be a brave.

• 10:38Speaker 05

  For Halloween in, in fifth grade in San Francisco, obviously. So you're liberal fag parents. You're like, oh, you think that's, you think that's an appropriate costume?

• 10:46Speaker 04

  Go live there.

• 10:47Speaker 05

  You know what? We're sending you off.

• 10:48Speaker 04

  Go live there. Sell cigarettes at the store.

• 10:50Speaker 05

  You're Cherokee now. Your, your mom's dressed like a construction worker. Your dad's dressed like a, like a sailor.

• 10:56Speaker 04

  Yep. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 10:57Speaker 05

  San Francisco style.

• 10:58Speaker 04

  Both my parents were gay men.

• 10:58Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 11:00Speaker 04

  Well, all five of my parents were gay men.

• 11:01Speaker 05

  I thought you were saying they were all YMCA together.

• 11:03Adam Friedland?

  It's so funny. That's what I was meant. Yeah.

• 11:06Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 11:07Adam Friedland?

  It's so funny. Trump's song is the having sex in a shower song. It's so sick. It's so sick.

• 11:13Speaker 04

  When I saw Trump play in fucking Philadelphia, he did YMCA twice. Like bookended his set with YMCA.

• 11:21Adam Friedland?

  Mm-hmm.

• 11:21Speaker 04

  And it's like.

• 11:22Adam Friedland?

  And it was electric.

• 11:23Speaker 04

  Well, no one knows how to do it. I don't even know how to do it. Like the dance. And so you see like.

• 11:27Speaker 05

  It's not, it's actually very clever. What Trump does with those is he's like, remember the early eighties?

• 11:33Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 11:33Speaker 05

  And so he's like, like kind of creating this idea that like, is this Reagan? It's not at all.

• 11:38Speaker 04

  No.

• 11:39Speaker 05

  But when he does with the make America great again thing, he's just like, he's trying to make you think he's Ronald Reagan.

• 11:45Adam Friedland?

  Well, or Donald Trump in the eighties when he was a big like, yeah.

• 11:48Speaker 05

  Who was friends with Ronald Reagan.

• 11:49Speaker 04

  That might just be like the last kind of time he listened to music. It probably is.

• 11:54Speaker 05

  No, that's not true. Didn't he like pardon boozy?

• 11:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, but it's not, it's not like listening to him.

• 11:59Adam Friedland?

  I got Kodak Black out of jail.

• 12:01Speaker 05

  Yeah, right.

• 12:02Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, he did.

• 12:03Speaker 05

  He listens to SoundCloud rappers.

• 12:04Speaker 04

  He does have like a relationship with rappers that other, other, like Biden just does not have.

• 12:09Adam Friedland?

  They love him.

• 12:10Speaker 05

  Yeah, Biden only knows black people from like, like Looney Tunes cartoons back then. They're racist.

• 12:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 12:17Speaker 05

  Yeah, Cole Black, the seven dwarfs. Yeah. All of those guys, man. I'm friends with all of them.

• 12:25Adam Friedland?

  You know, the brothers wearing zoot suits?

• 12:26Speaker 05

  Yeah, the three crows.

• 12:29Adam Friedland?

  They got a big old chain.

• 12:31Speaker 05

  They got a song and it's about the South.

• 12:35Speaker 04

  I mean, it's just, well, Biden's Biden's experience with Corn Pop, when Corn Pop was real, that's when I was like, Biden is gonna win. Like, he's gonna be president.

• 12:44Speaker 05

  Did I, I just remember watching the initial video, and it's like such a boring story.

• 12:50Adam Friedland?

  The, no, the story is crazy.

• 12:51Speaker 05

  The story about him going to the pool.

• 12:53Speaker 04

  No, the story is he's a lifeguard, and he's like, hey, calm down, and the guy's like, I'm gonna beat your ass. And then he walks out, and the guy doesn't beat his ass.

• 12:59Adam Friedland?

  He doesn't beat his ass.

• 13:00Speaker 05

  No, but he said that they used to brush, he used to brush the hairs on his legs. No, they would brush the knife against the curb to make it rusty.

• 13:08Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, yeah, and in a barrel, yeah, he'd put it in a barrel so it rusted.

• 13:12Speaker 04

  But they didn't stab Joe Biden with the knife, that's the thing. It's like, these guys had a scary weapon that they didn't use on me.

• 13:17Adam Friedland?

  The thing about the Corn Pop video was that he was talking to little black kids in bikinis. He was talking to like eight-year-old kids.

• 13:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 13:25Adam Friedland?

  And they were like bored and confused.

• 13:26Speaker 04

  They're like, Corn Pop.

• 13:28Adam Friedland?

  He's like telling some sort of rambling story about like, yeah, about like a, like a, like a prison punk in the 1950s.

• 13:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, and he's, he's sitting in that, like, there's that picture of Biden, it's actually magnificent, of him sitting like in the lifeguard chair, kinda like, like, happy. And all these, like, kind of like, eight-year-old black kids, like, sort of looking up at him, kinda confused.

• 13:53Speaker 05

  Why don't we do that with like wheelchairs? Why isn't there any tricked-out wheelchairs where you're like up super high?

• 13:58Speaker 04

  Sometime, oh, yeah, like, make him like two stories.

• 14:00Adam Friedland?

  Oh, like a monster truck?

• 14:01Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 14:02Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 14:03Speaker 04

  Well, sometimes you see like, and interestingly enough, oftentimes, crackheads will have like wheelchairs with like a lot of accoutrements on it.

• 14:10Speaker 05

  But yeah.

• 14:11Speaker 04

  Fit it out wheelchair.

• 14:11Speaker 05

  Flags and speakers.

• 14:12Speaker 04

  All kinds of shit, like bags hanging from him and stuff, but like, you never really see, they should also put, sometimes put them on, if I was like, rich, and I had to be in a wheelchair, put me on a horse. Make me go through everywhere on a fucking horse.

• 14:25Speaker 05

  I would say turn me into the black guy from Twisted Metal. Arms are, yeah.

• 14:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's pretty good.

• 14:31Speaker 05

  Axel.

• 14:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, Axel, yeah. He was great.

• 14:35Speaker 05

  Actually, he kinda sucked.

• 14:37Speaker 04

  Like, in the game?

• 14:37Speaker 05

  I really, I mean, Sweet Tooth is the only good one.

• 14:39Adam Friedland?

  The clown.

• 14:40Speaker 04

  The clown?

• 14:40Speaker 05

  And then the motorcycle guy is good.

• 14:42Speaker 04

  Which, is that, is that the? Is that the Grim Reaper kinda guy?

• 14:46Speaker 05

  Well, his name's Mr. Grim, but his head is a skull. He's more like the Punisher.

• 14:50Adam Friedland?

  Ghost Rider.

• 14:50Speaker 05

  Yeah, or Ghost Rider.

• 14:52Speaker 04

  Ghost Rider, yeah, yeah, yeah. I loved Axel, though.

• 14:54Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 14:54Speaker 04

  And there was like, everyone else I feel like was just like a guy in a car. But that Axel was in pain. He had to be there.

• 15:00Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 15:01Speaker 04

  That's the only job he could get.

• 15:02Speaker 05

  Yeah. I don't remember too much of the lore.

• 15:06Speaker 04

  Me either.

• 15:06Adam Friedland?

  I think they made a show recently.

• 15:08Speaker 04

  They did.

• 15:09Speaker 05

  A twisted metal show?

• 15:09Adam Friedland?

  Hulu or something.

• 15:10Speaker 04

  Who's watching that?

• 15:11Adam Friedland?

  Not me.

• 15:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 15:12Adam Friedland?

  I'm watching fucking Smart, Mark Fisher.

• 15:15Speaker 05

  Yeah, they would do a thing where Sweet Tooth, like, he had a dad, and then the guy that ran the tournament, there was a guy named Calypso that runs the twisted.

• 15:23Speaker 04

  Calypso, he was like the devil.

• 15:25Speaker 05

  Yeah, he's like, and he runs the twisted metal tournament. But then it's like, sometimes Sweet Tooth is Calypso, sometimes that's his dad, sometimes they're each other's dad, it's like, it's confusing.

• 15:37Speaker 04

  Sometimes he has five dads.

• 15:38Speaker 05

  Yeah. Sometimes the cab driver is his son.

• 15:42Speaker 04

  There was the cab driver, too.

• 15:43Speaker 05

  Yeah. Yellow Jacket.

• 15:45Speaker 04

  Wow, I'm not, no, it's.

• 15:47Speaker 05

  I think that was his name.

• 15:47Speaker 04

  Beyond the reaches of my memory.

• 15:49Speaker 05

  Spectre, that was one of them.

• 15:50Speaker 04

  Spectre, which one was that?

• 15:52Speaker 05

  Warthog? That was one.

• 15:55Adam Friedland?

  That's from Halo.

• 15:56Speaker 05

  No, Warthog was, wasn't, Warthog was the Humvee.

• 16:00Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, there was a Humvee.

• 16:03Speaker 05

  There was a truck.

• 16:05Speaker 04

  You don't see too many of those anymore.

• 16:06Speaker 05

  What, those types of games?

• 16:07Speaker 04

  Humvees.

• 16:08Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 16:09Adam Friedland?

  No, it was like a marker of the nineties.

• 16:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 16:11Adam Friedland?

  You see, I'm seeing so many cyber trucks every day. They're multiplying.

• 16:15Speaker 04

  I'm too.

• 16:16Adam Friedland?

  When you're driving, it's, they take the entire lane.

• 16:19Speaker 04

  I'd love to get killed by one of those.

• 16:22Speaker 04

  Just fucking flattened by a cyber truck.

• 16:24Speaker 05

  I have still seen more DeLoreans than I've seen cyber trucks.

• 16:28Speaker 04

  The guy in my neighborhood who drives around a DeLorean.

• 16:30Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 16:31Speaker 04

  Give it a rest.

• 16:31Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 16:32Speaker 04

  It feels very like.

• 16:33Speaker 05

  In our neighborhood?

• 16:34Speaker 04

  You have like a YouTube show that does like retro video games or whatever.

• 16:37Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 16:38Speaker 04

  You know, like, alright, I get it was in a movie, but we don't gotta do that. The wing doors.

• 16:43Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 16:43Speaker 04

  Plenty of cars with wing doors these days.

• 16:45Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 16:46Speaker 04

  It's nothing special.

• 16:47Speaker 05

  Right. You can get that on any car.

• 16:49Speaker 04

  Exactly, you can get that on a Corolla.

• 16:51Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 16:52Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, well, we had her.

• 16:53Speaker 05

  The Lambo doors that black guys get installed on like a fucking. On like a, like a re-bad, like a fake Escalade.

• 17:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If I had a car, which I don't know how to drive, uh, nor do I own a car, but like.

• 17:08Adam Friedland?

  You've never learned?

• 17:09Speaker 04

  Just, I feel like if I need to do it, I'll get it.

• 17:12Speaker 05

  You don't watch sports, you don't know how to drive?

• 17:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, correct. Well, I would watch sports. Like, if I watch sports, I know what's going on.

• 17:18Speaker 05

  For the commercials, like a girl.

• 17:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, I love commercials. But like, I feel like if I, if I was, if I had to be in a situation where I was forced to drive, I could figure it out.

• 17:27Adam Friedland?

  I feel like at your age, it would be like terrifying.

• 17:30Speaker 04

  Could you imagine?

• 17:31Adam Friedland?

  Cause I feel like at sixteen, you're like kind of fearless, yeah.

• 17:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, death isn't real.

• 17:36Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, yeah. My dad let me drive when I was thirteen. He like, we were in Mexico, he let me drive the car. And I drove straight into a bush and then he yelled at me, he said, "You're never, you're never getting your license." It was like a moment where I'm like, this is like father-son bonding, it was really special, and then I just fucked it up.

• 17:51Speaker 04

  I knew I should have fucking taken you to see a prostitute instead.

• 17:55Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, yeah. All my, well, all my Latin friends' dads did that for them, yeah.

• 17:59Speaker 04

  That's how it goes.

• 18:00Adam Friedland?

  Well, they all had uncles that would take them.

• 18:02Speaker 04

  Oh, that molested them?

• 18:03Adam Friedland?

  No, no, they, that would take them to a whorehouse and literally every single one of them cried and didn't do it. Cause they were like thirteen.

• 18:10Speaker 04

  I couldn't imagine.

• 18:11Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 18:12Speaker 04

  Oh, my father's sitting there.

• 18:14Speaker 05

  I would do that with my, if I had a daughter, I would do that.

• 18:16Speaker 04

  You have a daughter?

• 18:17Speaker 05

  When she turned thirteen, I would take her to a bunch of men to fuck her.

• 18:21Speaker 04

  Jesus Christ, Nick.

• 18:22Speaker 05

  I'm like, you're a woman now.

• 18:23Adam Friedland?

  Bunch of hung men.

• 18:25Speaker 05

  You're a woman, you're gonna thank me later.

• 18:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, this is, this is a market.

• 18:30Adam Friedland?

  Listen to your old man.

• 18:31Speaker 05

  Don't be a pussy. Don't be a pussy, you gotta, everyone in school's gonna be jealous of you when they found out.

• 18:37Speaker 04

  You lost your virginity.

• 18:38Speaker 05

  You lost your virginity, you got fucked.

• 18:41Speaker 04

  It's so cool.

• 18:42Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 18:42Speaker 04

  You're like in college now.

• 18:43Speaker 05

  A bunch of fucking twenty year old guys.

• 18:45Adam Friedland?

  I'm a cool dad, I'm one of those cool dads.

• 18:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'm a cool dad, I'm with it, I'm cool. Let's do a little coke. People do coke with their, I don't like that either.

• 18:54Adam Friedland?

  Their kids?

• 18:54Speaker 04

  Yeah, people do coke with their dads, or their parents, it's like, that's, that's like nasty.

• 18:59Speaker 05

  That just happened, I've been fascinated by, I already mentioned it, this is now, because we're pre-recording this, but.

• 19:05Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 19:05Speaker 05

  That YouTube lawyer guy.

• 19:07Speaker 04

  He's incredible.

• 19:08Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's amazing.

• 19:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 19:10Speaker 05

  Have you looked into this at all?

• 19:11Speaker 04

  Sort of followed it.

• 19:12Speaker 05

  It's, I know, I didn't, I saw the guy, I saw the guy during the Kyle Rittenhouse trial, you know? That was like my first time I became aware of like who he was, and I'm like, okay, he's sort of in this world or whatever. But, I just saw like a, like a clip of him explaining his drinking, and then it cuts to what he is now. Which he's gotta be doing something else, he's like.

• 19:37Speaker 04

  Wait, who's he busted for like giving drugs to like his kid or something?

• 19:41Speaker 05

  The kid's tested positive for cocaine.

• 19:43Speaker 04

  You don't want that.

• 19:43Speaker 05

  So he was giving cocaine to his children.

• 19:45Adam Friedland?

  And to test positive, I think it's like forty-eight hours. I think you like piss out coke. I think weed you have for like a week.

• 19:51Speaker 04

  Yeah. And he got arrested for it, right?

• 19:54Speaker 05

  Yeah, he got arrested.

• 19:55Speaker 04

  The police came to his house.

• 19:56Adam Friedland?

  Wait, who is this guy though? Tell me, like.

• 19:58Speaker 04

  It's like Raketa Law or something?

• 20:00Speaker 05

  Nick Raketa or Raketa.

• 20:02Adam Friedland?

  Is he one of those like, I got my client out?

• 20:04Speaker 05

  What kind of name is that? Is that Hungarian?

• 20:06Speaker 04

  Raketa?

• 20:07Speaker 05

  Raketa?

• 20:08Speaker 04

  It's like some, it's like a Central European country that doesn't exist anymore.

• 20:11Speaker 05

  I think it might be Hungarian.

• 20:12Speaker 04

  Slovakian or something.

• 20:14Speaker 05

  Yeah, or like Croat.

• 20:16Speaker 04

  Raketa?

• 20:16Speaker 05

  Raketa.

• 20:17Speaker 04

  It's like Raketa, Raketa, but it's like, yeah, no idea.

• 20:20Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 20:21Speaker 04

  But he, yeah, he was giving, he was giving bumps to, to the, to his young children.

• 20:26Speaker 05

  Something, you gotta be careful, because I imagine that guy is desperate to sue anybody.

• 20:30Speaker 04

  I, let's hope he doesn't have the funds.

• 20:32Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 20:33Speaker 04

  Because I think he's, I think there's a lot of people probably talking about his court case. This is all alleged. None of this has been, he hasn't been, he hasn't been convicted.

• 20:40Speaker 05

  Yeah, if I was that guy, I would be like, just fucking watching every show, hoping somebody gets one minor detail wrong.

• 20:46Speaker 04

  Yeah, and just suing the fuck out of him.

• 20:47Speaker 05

  You're gonna file some kind of nuisance.

• 20:48Adam Friedland?

  Oh, this is the guy?

• 20:49Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 20:51Speaker 04

  What'd he do?

• 20:51Speaker 05

  Look at him now, dude. I mean, it's great. He had this.

• 20:55Adam Friedland?

  He's a goatee.

• 20:56Speaker 05

  There was nothing like a cute that happened. He just kind of like.

• 20:59Speaker 04

  It just descended.

• 21:00Speaker 05

  It was like, yeah, I'm gonna fucking, uh, just completely go off the rails here.

• 21:05Adam Friedland?

  It's like the dad from, uh, Small Town Ecstasy.

• 21:08Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 21:09Speaker 04

  Yeah, I, we've talked about that. I love, that's my favorite documentary ever made.

• 21:13Speaker 05

  You know what the real, you know what the real Small Town Ecstasy is? Going to Sonic.

• 21:18Adam Friedland?

  Okay, so we got an ad time right now. This one, we're gonna, we're gonna do really good.

• 21:24Speaker 05

  Yeah. Babbel, check it out. You wanna learn another language? Check out Babbel.

• 21:29Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, that's, that's what you.

• 21:30Speaker 05

  So, webs, you've heard of learning a little.

• 21:32Speaker 04

  You speak a little Chinese, right?

• 21:33Speaker 05

  A little Chinese.

• 21:35Speaker 04

  Gimme some.

• 21:41Speaker 05

  Wo, wo de ji ji, uh.

• 21:46Speaker 05

  Hen da.

• 21:48Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 21:49Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, so if you're tired of mystery pointing.

• 21:51Speaker 05

  Wo de ji ji shen da? Is that it, right? My penis is big?

• 21:56Speaker 04

  Wo de ji ji shen da?

• 21:57Speaker 05

  I think, something like that.

• 21:58Speaker 04

  Wo de ji ji shen da?

• 22:00Speaker 05

  Yeah, wo de ji, wo de ji ji, my penis.

• 22:03Speaker 04

  Wo de ji ji.

• 22:04Speaker 05

  Sure is.

• 22:06Speaker 04

  Shen. Hen.

• 22:08Speaker 05

  Very, and then da is big. Yeah, big.

• 22:11Speaker 04

  Wo jia xi.

• 22:13Adam Friedland?

  Wo de xi xi shen da?

• 22:16Speaker 05

  Yeah, I think that's right.

• 22:17Adam Friedland?

  Uh, so if you're tired of mystery.

• 22:19Speaker 05

  I took language classes in downtown Manhattan and I.

• 22:22Speaker 04

  From a guy with a huge guy.

• 22:23Speaker 05

  Well, I asked the teacher and then they asked if, I'm like, am I saying this right? And I said that, and then they said, don't come back here.

• 22:28Speaker 04

  You're not allowed in.

• 22:30Adam Friedland?

  If you ever, if you ever find yourself holding back on travel plans because you're afraid of the language gap, well, no need. Mind the gap. Play Babbel SFX if you have Babbel.

• 22:39Speaker 05

  And it's named after a tower in the Bible, so you know this is a Christian company.

• 22:43Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 22:43Speaker 05

  No Jews or Muslims.

• 22:46Adam Friedland?

  No, it's from the Jewish, it's a Jewish story.

• 22:49Speaker 05

  No Jews or Muslims will be allowed to use this software.

• 22:53Adam Friedland?

  It's not true. It's from the.

• 22:55Speaker 05

  I.

• 22:56Speaker 04

  Well, it's a company, so it's probably owned by a Jewish person.

• 22:58Speaker 05

  We would like to, we would like to correct that last statement. Jews and Muslims are more than welcome to use.

• 23:03Adam Friedland?

  Uh huh. No Christians allowed.

• 23:07Speaker 05

  You wanna learn Arabic? Check out Babbel.

• 23:10Adam Friedland?

  There are tips and tools that are grounded in real life, the shit that you need. Everything is focused on conversation. So you'll be ready to talk wherever you go.

• 23:20Speaker 04

  Put some life into this, Adam.

• 23:22Adam Friedland?

  No.

• 23:24Speaker 04

  It says shit in the ad copy?

• 23:27Adam Friedland?

  No. Don't take my word for it. So he's from Yale.

• 23:31Speaker 05

  You know what I like to learn is I like to go on Babbel and learn Yoruba, Yorubin.

• 23:36Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, so you go to Nigeria.

• 23:38Speaker 04

  White boy, white boy goes to Nigeria and shocks everybody.

• 23:41Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 23:42Speaker 05

  Tiki tiki boom boom motherfucker.

• 23:47Adam Friedland?

  And beyond, uh...

• 23:48Speaker 04

  Yorubin, this is stunning.

• 23:51Speaker 05

  Yeah, I'm just solving a Rubik's Cube.

• 23:53Adam Friedland?

  So if you use this for fifteen hours, it's equivalent to a full semester at college, which, you know, you guys...

• 23:59Speaker 04

  I'd like to know Afrikaans. Because I feel like that'd make people really uncomfortable. I was like, oh yeah, I speak Afrikaans too.

• 24:05Adam Friedland?

  I speak Afrikaans.

• 24:06Speaker 05

  Ku ku klo ku.

• 24:07Speaker 04

  Ku ku klo ku.

• 24:09Speaker 05

  Ku blop doh. Asab liftoch.

• 24:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, there we go. Horrible language.

• 24:13Speaker 05

  Bosso yo tonda.

• 24:14Speaker 04

  The British should have annihilated them.

• 24:16Adam Friedland?

  That's what my parents said. Brush your teeth. Bosso yo tonda.

• 24:18Speaker 05

  Yeah, I, I, I, Breaker Morant was...

• 24:21Adam Friedland?

  You know, those were the first concentration camps. We're in the Boer War.

• 24:25Speaker 04

  Not good enough.

• 24:26Adam Friedland?

  They didn't finish the job.

• 24:27Speaker 04

  Not good enough. Bum concentration camps.

• 24:29Speaker 05

  You ever see that movie Breaker Morant?

• 24:30Speaker 04

  No.

• 24:30Speaker 05

  It's great.

• 24:31Speaker 04

  What is it?

• 24:32Speaker 05

  It's this story, you know the story of Breaker Morant?

• 24:34Speaker 04

  Is that? No, I don't.

• 24:35Speaker 05

  He was an Australian, so that during the, I think the second Boer War, they had Australian fucking... I guess they're like, uh, the guys that wear the dumb, like...

• 24:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's half of it. It's a horrible look.

• 24:47Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah. Uh, so whatever that part of the Australian army was, you know, they were out in, you know, they're experiencing guerrilla warfare for the first time. So some captain got fucking ambushed and killed. So as revenge, the, the, this guy Breaker Morant goes and kills a bunch of POWs.

• 25:08Speaker 04

  Just executes them?

• 25:09Speaker 05

  Just executes them. And, uh, like, there was outrage because it's a war crime, and so Kitchener was like, look, you gotta fucking try these guys so we have some semblance. Because they were Australian, and he wasn't trying British soldiers, he's trying Australian soldiers.

• 25:23Speaker 04

  So it's alright, yeah.

• 25:25Speaker 05

  And, uh, so then, yeah, there's, there was a trial, and then, you know, they're found guilty and they're shot.

• 25:32Speaker 04

  That's the movie?

• 25:33Speaker 05

  That's the movie, yeah.

• 25:34Speaker 04

  I would love to be that guy's defense lawyer.

• 25:35Speaker 05

  But in, in Australia, they were like...

• 25:38Speaker 04

  Heroes.

• 25:39Speaker 05

  Yeah, heroes, yeah.

• 25:40Speaker 04

  Well, it's, it's...

• 25:43Speaker 04

  Like, listen, like, you know, you go out there, you gotta wear the goofy hat.

• 25:47Speaker 05

  There's no way to, like, you can't fucking commit war crimes against other white people.

• 25:53Speaker 04

  It's, but, I will say back then-

• 25:55Speaker 05

  That's our business, like, leave us...

• 25:58Speaker 04

  But back then, if you got caught for something like that, like, you're in Africa. You're so far from, like, the newspaper.

• 26:06Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 26:06Speaker 04

  And you get caught doing that, that's your bad.

• 26:10Speaker 05

  Yeah, I guess.

• 26:10Speaker 04

  You know what I mean, like, back then, like-

• 26:13Speaker 05

  A war crime in Africa.

• 26:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, killing, like, the boers, like, killing Boer POWs, like, if you get caught from that, that just means someone you're supposed to be friends with is fucking tattletale.

• 26:21Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 26:22Speaker 04

  You know?

• 26:23Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 26:23Speaker 04

  Like, you could do anything, like, before, like, seventy years ago, and just be like, "I wasn't there."

• 26:29Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 26:29Speaker 04

  You know, "What are you talking about?"

• 26:33Speaker 05

  About to sneeze.

• 26:34Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 26:35Adam Friedland?

  So, wait, before we read the promo code, just wait for that sneeze. Okay, uh, here's a limited time offer for our listeners right now.

• 26:44Speaker 05

  I got myself pretty good on that one.

• 26:45Adam Friedland?

  You can get up to sixty percent off your Babbel subscription, but only for our listeners at babbel.com/tafs. You wanna read the rest of that?

• 26:51Speaker 04

  Where is it?

• 26:52Adam Friedland?

  There, here.

• 26:52Speaker 04

  Uh, "Get up to sixty percent off at babbel.com/tafs." Spelled B-A-B-B-E-L dot com.

• 27:04Speaker 05

  Like, like the cheese.

• 27:05Adam Friedland?

  Like the cheese.

• 27:06Speaker 04

  Like the cheese slash tafs. Rules and restrictions may apply.

• 27:12Adam Friedland?

  Alright, so check that out, babbel.com.

• 27:14Speaker 05

  No French.

• 27:15Speaker 04

  Okay, so, here are some, "No languages from Africa." This is just like, it's Babbel talking.

• 27:23Adam Friedland?

  Let's go through, like-

• 27:23Speaker 04

  "No languages from Africa, only Han Chinese."

• 27:28Speaker 05

  Han Chinese.

• 27:29Speaker 04

  Only Han Chinese, none of the other kinds, no Cantonese.

• 27:32Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's a race, not a language.

• 27:34Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, Han or, yeah.

• 27:35Speaker 04

  Hebrew is, uh, actually twice as expensive.

• 27:39Speaker 05

  Yeah, they call me Han Solo, 'cause I'm Chinese and I ain't get no pussy.

• 27:43Speaker 04

  There we go, there we go, there we go.

• 27:46Speaker 05

  Call me Han Solo the way I be Chinese and not get any pussy.

• 27:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, there we go. And, uh, oh, I'm losing it now. Yeah, you lost it.

• 27:57Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, we'll just hold, stand by, we're gonna give important information.

• 28:01Speaker 04

  And if you subscribe before the New Year's cutoff date, you get to have sex with Adam Friedland's asshole.

• 28:11Adam Friedland?

  Yep, that's right. At babble.com.

• 28:13Speaker 04

  What have you put up there?

• 28:15Adam Friedland?

  Up my asshole?

• 28:16Speaker 04

  What's gone up there?

• 28:17Speaker 05

  Pogs. A lot of pogs.

• 28:19Adam Friedland?

  Pogs.

• 28:20Speaker 05

  It's the perfect circumference. He was known as the Pog Heath.

• 28:22Speaker 04

  You could keep a whole stack.

• 28:24Adam Friedland?

  What were the heavy ones that you flipped the pogs?

• 28:25Speaker 05

  Slammers.

• 28:26Adam Friedland?

  The slammer. I put a couple slammers up there.

• 28:27Speaker 04

  I was marbles in my asshole in elementary school.

• 28:30Adam Friedland?

  Oh, yeah.

• 28:30Speaker 04

  Cause I go, you play marbles, I go down, I plop.

• 28:33Adam Friedland?

  Mrs. Marbles.

• 28:33Speaker 04

  And just fucking shoot one of those things out.

• 28:35Adam Friedland?

  The Mar- Marvelous Mrs. Marbles.

• 28:38Speaker 05

  How does marbles work? You hit the big one and then you gotta go.

• 28:41Speaker 04

  I didn't really ever see like the, the actual game of marbles to me seemed like secondary to having some balls.

• 28:48Speaker 05

  It's, I have no idea what it is.

• 28:50Speaker 04

  You know what I mean?

• 28:50Speaker 05

  I, I don't, I like, I don't understand what the... If you want it, it makes me think of the beginning of Men in Black or the end.

• 28:58Adam Friedland?

  Oh, yeah, when the aliens are playing and it's, the universe is inside of marbles.

• 29:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:04Adam Friedland?

  Somehow they knew the game too. Somehow they also lived in the Lower East Side in 1920.

• 29:08Speaker 04

  We'd put those in socks and beat the shit out of kids who wouldn't experiment with gay stuff with us.

• 29:13Speaker 05

  San Francisco.

• 29:14Adam Friedland?

  San Francisco style.

• 29:15Speaker 04

  We're all gonna fucking jack off and look at each other doing it.

• 29:18Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 29:18Speaker 04

  You don't wanna come?

• 29:19Speaker 05

  It is a crazy city.

• 29:21Speaker 04

  You were just there.

• 29:22Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 29:22Adam Friedland?

  What neighborhood did you grow up in?

• 29:24Speaker 04

  I, I, well, I grew, I, I'm not, I'm from outside the city.

• 29:27Speaker 05

  I don't know Derry at all.

• 29:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:29Adam Friedland?

  I know, East Bay?

• 29:30Speaker 04

  No, it, North Bay.

• 29:31Adam Friedland?

  Here's, here's my follow up to that. Oh, Alcatraz?

• 29:33Speaker 04

  Alcatraz.

• 29:34Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, you're from Alcatraz.

• 29:35Speaker 04

  I'm from Center Bay, Alcatraz.

• 29:37Adam Friedland?

  Oh, so you run a conspiracy theories style podcast? So, do the guys die when they swam away?

• 29:43Speaker 04

  No, they got away.

• 29:44Speaker 05

  They got away.

• 29:45Speaker 04

  It's not that far.

• 29:46Adam Friedland?

  It's cold, though.

• 29:47Speaker 04

  I know, but it's not that far.

• 29:48Adam Friedland?

  You could swim there?

• 29:49Speaker 04

  And back then, people were used to being cold. People swim there all the time recreationally.

• 29:53Speaker 05

  They found some of their effects on Angel Island.

• 29:54Speaker 04

  Exactly. Oh, they went to Angel Island?

• 29:56Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 29:56Speaker 04

  Now, that place is nice.

• 29:58Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 29:58Speaker 04

  That place is nice.

• 29:59Speaker 05

  I went to the Pa- the Palace of Fine Arts.

• 30:01Speaker 04

  It's beautiful.

• 30:02Adam Friedland?

  It's really beautiful. It's a beautiful city.

• 30:03Speaker 05

  I, I liked it before you did, Adam.

• 30:05Adam Friedland?

  No, no, it's, I, I liked it. I actually went there for a second.

• 30:09Speaker 05

  I stayed at the Stanford Court, which is a hotel mostly at the top of a hill, which is why I like it.

• 30:16Adam Friedland?

  Which hill?

• 30:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 30:17Adam Friedland?

  Russian Hill?

• 30:18Speaker 05

  I have no idea.

• 30:19Speaker 04

  There's, there's, there's forty-nine hills.

• 30:22Adam Friedland?

  It's all hills.

• 30:22Speaker 04

  It's all hills. And that's what I thought.

• 30:24Adam Friedland?

  That was the forty-niners.

• 30:24Speaker 04

  So like, San Francisco was like the only city I saw, like, or like, could comprehend until I was like a teenager. And I remember I went to LA and I didn't understand it because it's like all flat. There's some, there's those, the famous Hollywood Hills. But like, I didn't understand why the city was just like, you know, like a lie.

• 30:40Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 30:41Speaker 04

  It's a-

• 30:41Adam Friedland?

  And what did that do for you?

• 30:43Speaker 04

  It's just nothing for me, but it, I like-

• 30:45Adam Friedland?

  You went to LA when you were like Skid Row Runaway?

• 30:47Speaker 05

  I liked it, I liked it this time.

• 30:48Adam Friedland?

  How'd you get down there?

• 30:49Speaker 05

  And it's, it's funny because San Francisco, you know, like the internet will make you think that it's like overrun with homeless people.

• 30:55Speaker 04

  They're just in the crackhead zone.

• 30:56Speaker 05

  Well, it's like, yeah, it's like, if, Portland is like that. You go to Portland and Portland's a shithole.

• 31:01Adam Friedland?

  It's disgusting.

• 31:01Speaker 04

  Portland was a shithole before the crackheads.

• 31:03Adam Friedland?

  It's disgusting.

• 31:03Speaker 04

  I hate Portland more than anywhere else in fucking America.

• 31:06Speaker 05

  Portland's one of the worst cities.

• 31:07Speaker 04

  There's, what's what, oh, people are like, oh, the nature's good. That's nothing to do with the city of Portland.

• 31:11Speaker 05

  Right, that's just go enjoy the nature.

• 31:13Speaker 04

  It was there before, yeah.

• 31:14Speaker 05

  That's the opposite of the city. That applies to every other place in fucking Oregon.

• 31:19Speaker 04

  Yes, yes, it's great. It looks as beautiful as the rest of Oregon.

• 31:22Speaker 05

  Right.

• 31:23Speaker 04

  Except it's just got the worst human beings on earth and then crackheads on top of that.

• 31:26Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 31:27Speaker 04

  Horrible.

• 31:28Speaker 05

  I told you that story. I was driving with Blake. Blake moved to Portland briefly.

• 31:31Adam Friedland?

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 31:32Speaker 05

  And we're sitting at an intersection. It took me a while for it to like register in my head. We're sitting at an intersection driving back to his house. He's driving. And there's a hill, and there's like an encampment at the top of the hill with a tent, and you know, they have all their shit outside of the tent. And he's like, man, it's fucked up. There's a fifteen-year-old girl lives in that tent. And we continue driving.

• 31:50Adam Friedland?

  And that was it?

• 31:51Speaker 05

  Well, I, yeah, it was, it took me a while. I'm like, why do you know that?

• 31:55Adam Friedland?

  From the crack-smoking circuit.

• 31:56Speaker 05

  Why do you know that there's a child that lives in that tent? Unless something bad happened.

• 32:01Adam Friedland?

  Just as a, as a sentence?

• 32:03Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 32:03Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, just as, oh, yeah.

• 32:04Speaker 04

  Did he tell you?

• 32:05Speaker 05

  You're forty-two years old. You shouldn't know that.

• 32:07Speaker 04

  Maybe you can just tell she's fifteen.

• 32:09Adam Friedland?

  Blake is, Blake is a legend, dude.

• 32:10Speaker 05

  He is. He's a good dude.

• 32:11Speaker 04

  She could be ten in the crack age.

• 32:13Speaker 05

  I think he's in Philly now.

• 32:14Adam Friedland?

  Oh, he left?

• 32:15Speaker 04

  Another dump.

• 32:16Speaker 05

  No, Philly's great.

• 32:18Speaker 04

  It's alright.

• 32:19Speaker 05

  Philly's a great city.

• 32:19Adam Friedland?

  Philly's great.

• 32:20Speaker 04

  I just don't really like the attitude.

• 32:22Speaker 05

  There isn't an attitude. They're nice.

• 32:24Speaker 04

  Every time I've done something there, people have been drunk to the point where I'm like, this isn't, you need to-

• 32:31Speaker 05

  They might not like you.

• 32:32Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, but that's why you're in. No, but you go, you go to communist circles in West Philly, probably.

• 32:36Speaker 04

  No, I just, we did like a Tru On Show there.

• 32:39Speaker 05

  Isn't the Philly DSA is the least gay of all of them?

• 32:42Speaker 04

  I remember that being the thing, but I, I, I didn't know.

• 32:46Adam Friedland?

  They don't even allow any.

• 32:47Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 32:48Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 32:48Speaker 04

  Um, San Francisco, though, is fantastic. It just sucks to live there now.

• 32:54Adam Friedland?

  It's, yeah.

• 32:55Speaker 05

  They have self-driving Ubers and stuff?

• 32:57Speaker 04

  It's crazy. Those fucking, the Waymos.

• 32:59Adam Friedland?

  The Weigos, Wepos, yeah.

• 33:00Speaker 04

  Waymos. They're everywhere.

• 33:02Adam Friedland?

  Uyghurs, Uyghurs.

• 33:02Speaker 04

  The Uyghurs driver.

• 33:03Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 33:04Speaker 04

  They should be remote pilot. They fell off. They've kind of come back with the serious stuff.

• 33:08Adam Friedland?

  Uyghurs are.

• 33:09Speaker 04

  Uyghurs are back in the news.

• 33:10Adam Friedland?

  You think Uyghurs are pissed at Palestine? They're like, they're taking all the attention away.

• 33:13Speaker 04

  I definitely think so.

• 33:14Adam Friedland?

  I feel like Ukrainians are like, fuck Gaza.

• 33:17Speaker 04

  Well, yeah.

• 33:18Adam Friedland?

  Everyone felt so bad for us. Everyone felt, we were, we got the most.

• 33:23Speaker 04

  Well, the thing is, the Ukrainians, they were kind of pissed at Israel because like, when, when they started like flattening Gaza, they're like, we need more shells. And the Ukrainians are like, we need shells to like, fight against other people. And the US is like, we gotta give them shells to like, kill these kids, man. I'm sorry. Like, they need the shell. We'll give them the shells.

• 33:42Adam Friedland?

  There are these kids over in Gaza.

• 33:43Speaker 04

  Like, they have, you guys have like the, like the Ukrainian parts of Manhattan, but like the Jews is kind of like, there's a lot. They got the money. So we're gonna send them the shells first.

• 33:52Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 33:53Speaker 04

  And then we'll send Ukraine like the rest of the shells.

• 33:55Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 33:56Speaker 04

  But yeah, you gotta think that they're not.

• 33:57Speaker 05

  Is that war just gonna go on forever?

• 33:59Adam Friedland?

  I thought Trump was gonna end it. Ukraine.

• 34:02Speaker 04

  I, I feel like Trump's gonna like, like, pull the funding and then it's gonna get put back.

• 34:07Speaker 05

  But even with the funding pulled, it's like, it feels like that war will just go on forever.

• 34:10Speaker 04

  At this point, I think it's sunk cost, right?

• 34:13Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 34:13Speaker 04

  Like, half your guys died. So you kind of can't just be like, oh, okay, I guess we're done.

• 34:18Speaker 05

  Right, yeah.

• 34:18Speaker 04

  You know? You gotta keep going.

• 34:20Speaker 05

  You gotta keep going and nobody's gonna make any progress.

• 34:22Speaker 04

  It's a, no, I think the Russians are gonna eventually just grind them down.

• 34:26Speaker 05

  But then to what end though?

• 34:28Speaker 04

  Exactly. It's like, what are they gonna take over Kiev?

• 34:30Adam Friedland?

  I feel like people forgot about the war completely. Like, how many people have died in that war?

• 34:35Speaker 04

  A lot.

• 34:35Speaker 05

  It's a crazy number.

• 34:37Adam Friedland?

  It's like a crazy amount?

• 34:38Speaker 05

  It's fucking, it's, the more Russians have died in that war, I think, than Americans died in World War II.

• 34:44Adam Friedland?

  No.

• 34:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, well, not that many Americans died in World War II.

• 34:46Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, we were there for ten minutes.

• 34:48Speaker 05

  Four hundred thousand.

• 34:48Adam Friedland?

  Well, in the European theater, right?

• 34:50Speaker 04

  No, I think all totaled.

• 34:51Speaker 05

  Totality. Yeah, totaled. So more Russians have died in the Ukraine war than Americans died in World War II.

• 34:56Speaker 04

  Dude, some of the, you see the footage?

• 34:58Speaker 05

  The Russians have died in World War II. They'd like, so we lost four hundred thousand.

• 35:01Adam Friedland?

  They lost twenty.

• 35:02Speaker 05

  Twenty million people.

• 35:03Adam Friedland?

  Twenty million.

• 35:04Speaker 05

  Solid just...

• 35:08Speaker 05

  A hundred thousand? Seven hundred thousand.

• 35:10Adam Friedland?

  Jesus Christ.

• 35:12Speaker 05

  I don't think that number's right, though.

• 35:13Adam Friedland?

  Where'd you get that from, fucking?

• 35:15Speaker 05

  You gotta discount it a little bit, but there's probably more than four hundred thousand.

• 35:18Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, we killed seven hundred thousand of them.

• 35:20Speaker 04

  But they can always get more.

• 35:22Speaker 05

  It must suck for him too, cuz he's like, "I'm Jewish."

• 35:25Speaker 04

  I know. He's like the one, well, now they got the Mexican lady, but like, it's like beyond Shinbaum. Yeah.

• 35:32Adam Friedland?

  Oh my god, fabulous.

• 35:33Speaker 04

  Um, but they got like, like when they're giving Israel the shells, he must be like, "What the fuck?"

• 35:38Speaker 05

  Shinbaum, that's so funny, dude.

• 35:39Speaker 04

  I know.

• 35:40Adam Friedland?

  Why is that funny? What's so funny about that? Brace. Brace, what are you laughing at?

• 35:45Speaker 04

  Cuz it doesn't make any sense.

• 35:46Adam Friedland?

  Don't laugh with him.

• 35:47Speaker 04

  It's funny, it's funny.

• 35:48Adam Friedland?

  Don't laugh with him.

• 35:48Speaker 05

  Can you imagine an African Jewish president?

• 35:52Adam Friedland?

  One can only dream.

• 35:53Speaker 05

  Um, Umala Stern?

• 35:58Speaker 05

  He's like, "Happy Hanukkah to everyone."

• 36:00Speaker 04

  You'd be surprised, I'm surprised we don't like, like spawn out there cuz of the diamond mines. You'd think we would just crawl out of those.

• 36:06Adam Friedland?

  A lot of people, what, have you seen, I started to do that clip today. I shouldn't show Nick. It's bad.

• 36:12Speaker 04

  Nick, Nick already hates us, but this will, this will bring him down.

• 36:16Speaker 05

  He likes us. He hates anybody.

• 36:17Adam Friedland?

  He likes us.

• 36:18Speaker 04

  He likes us. Well, I don't know, that's marginal.

• 36:20Speaker 05

  I don't hate anybody. First of all, hates a very, there's very few. James Carville, I told you, that's probably it.

• 36:26Speaker 04

  That's just a James Carville.

• 36:28Speaker 05

  Just James Carville.

• 36:30Speaker 04

  Is he Jewish? No.

• 36:31Speaker 05

  Of course not. No, he's like an inbred Louisiana worm.

• 36:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, he, we don't, they don't make us like that.

• 36:36Speaker 05

  He came out of the fucking soil.

• 36:38Adam Friedland?

  Crazy.

• 36:38Speaker 04

  He's the son of the soil.

• 36:39Speaker 05

  Yeah, the overseer.

• 36:41Speaker 04

  James Carville, son of the soil.

• 36:42Speaker 05

  The overseer pulled out while raping a slave in eighteen fifty, and the seed landed in the soil.

• 36:47Adam Friedland?

  He really does.

• 36:48Speaker 05

  And James Carville was born out of that.

• 36:50Speaker 04

  He came out of a corn husk.

• 36:51Speaker 05

  Yeah, right, exactly.

• 36:53Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, earthworm gym ass motherfucker.

• 36:55Speaker 04

  They have Chinese Jews. Why can't they have, they have the Ethiopian Jews. We need a west African Jew.

• 37:00Speaker 05

  They don't have Chinese Jews. A Jewish guy goes over there and he's like some pussy maybe? And then he fucks a Chinese lady and then, and then they're like, this is our Jewish child.

• 37:09Speaker 04

  It's like a cargo cult?

• 37:10Speaker 05

  But then that's the end of the line for there. They're not going on and doing anything.

• 37:13Speaker 04

  No, there's a thousand, you know what I'm talking about? This, the Kaifang Jews? During the Marco Polo kinda era, some Jew went over there.

• 37:21Adam Friedland?

  In Shanghai, right?

• 37:22Speaker 04

  Yeah. It was like, I have this, I can show you something that will make you very rich in the future. And he made like a thousand Jew, or he made some number of Jews.

• 37:31Adam Friedland?

  He made a thousand Jews.

• 37:32Speaker 04

  I don't know how he made them. I don't know why anyone would convert to Judaism.

• 37:35Adam Friedland?

  Okay, but you know, I found out something recently. Most European Jews are not ethnically Judean.

• 37:42Speaker 05

  Yeah, like, like. Adam's been hanging out with the black Israelites.

• 37:46Adam Friedland?

  No, no, no, like, li- like literally, the people that were.

• 37:49Speaker 04

  The Khazarians?

• 37:50Adam Friedland?

  The people that were expelled, like, two thousand years ago.

• 37:54Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:54Adam Friedland?

  Uh, like, for the most part are not ethnically connected. Like, there had to have been like.

• 37:59Speaker 04

  I just took that as a given.

• 38:00Adam Friedland?

  There had to have been like forced conversions in like, you know, over the years.

• 38:03Speaker 05

  Which I cannot understand. I cannot understand. Khazarian theory, is that what you're?

• 38:08Speaker 04

  No, the Khazarian theory is like.

• 38:10Speaker 05

  Well, that was that the elites converted.

• 38:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 38:13Speaker 05

  To Judaism.

• 38:15Speaker 04

  I've been, I watched a lot of Candace Owens now that she's antisemitic.

• 38:18Speaker 05

  If you were in charge of like a despotic regime, and you're like, look, things are, we did the numbers and we're gonna be overthrown in like fucking six weeks.

• 38:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 38:26Speaker 05

  Be like, let's all convert to Judaism.

• 38:28Speaker 04

  I think it actually is genuinely a good move.

• 38:30Speaker 05

  It is.

• 38:31Speaker 04

  Like, when, when the rebels took Aleppo, Assad should have gone on the for, home, uh, the, the horn with all of his like, top guys and be like, Ju- like, you gotta get to, we gotta get a rabbi here. Like, if we turn Jew.

• 38:43Adam Friedland?

  We gotta get a moil here.

• 38:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, we gotta, we gotta get circum- uh, maybe, I think Muslims might circumcise.

• 38:48Speaker 05

  I think Bashar al-Assad and James Carville are the same race. I think they're, they're probably have.

• 38:53Speaker 04

  Sort of a lanky.

• 38:54Speaker 05

  Yeah, just sort of.

• 38:55Adam Friedland?

  Where is Assad? Have they found him?

• 38:57Speaker 05

  He's in Louisiana.

• 38:58Speaker 04

  He's, yeah, he's in Carville.

• 38:59Speaker 05

  Hanging out, looking at the Superdome.

• 39:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 39:01Adam Friedland?

  Listening to LMFAO.

• 39:03Speaker 05

  He's, he's gonna run for congress in Louisiana. He's driving a street car with Carville on both opposite ends.

• 39:08Speaker 04

  He's playing horn. He should get into jazz. But, yeah, I mean, it's like. The bizarre thing is like there was a tribe and they like converted to Judaism and then it was like that was the Jews of Europe were just like these like Eastern peoples that kind of like came in like kind of like weak Mongols and just like spread throughout Europe.

• 39:31Adam Friedland?

  Ineffective Mongols.

• 39:32Speaker 04

  Well, effective, but just not really a warrior race.

• 39:36Adam Friedland?

  They're more like Zoroastrians than Jews on earth. There's so many religions that are have a higher population.

• 39:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, I know.

• 39:44Adam Friedland?

  It's just a, it's a blip.

• 39:46Speaker 04

  But we don't have any like outsized power to like our numbers. Like I think it's commensurate like what 14 million Jews?

• 39:53Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, they haven't done shit.

• 39:54Speaker 04

  We haven't like, we've been, I think we've kept it low key. I think we've kept it low key. We've kind of known our place in the world. We haven't done anything.

• 40:03Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 40:04Speaker 04

  And so it's like, yeah, like, okay, there's.

• 40:06Adam Friedland?

  We're just around.

• 40:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:08Adam Friedland?

  We're just hanging.

• 40:08Speaker 04

  We're just around.

• 40:09Adam Friedland?

  We're chilling.

• 40:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, we don't do anything. Um, yeah, you didn't realize that we're not from there?

• 40:15Adam Friedland?

  Well, it's, I, I, no, I didn't realize, no, I didn't like.

• 40:19Speaker 04

  Look at you, Adam.

• 40:21Adam Friedland?

  I don't, not that like we're not Middle Eastern, but yeah, like obviously like, yeah, that we're not, we're like ethnically not tied to the Judeans who were expelled.

• 40:30Speaker 04

  No, we're just uglier looking Eastern European people.

• 40:33Adam Friedland?

  Fucking Russian.

• 40:34Speaker 04

  Yes. We look like them, but with curly, well, you have curly, I don't have curly hair.

• 40:38Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 40:39Speaker 04

  I just look normal.

• 40:40Adam Friedland?

  My dad told my.

• 40:41Speaker 04

  I'm, I'm white passing.

• 40:42Adam Friedland?

  My best, my friend growing up was a Jew, but he was red headed and he was, my dad, when we were like 11.

• 40:47Speaker 05

  So he's a munchkin. That's what the term is now.

• 40:49Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, yeah. Well, in, in wicked, Nick saw it.

• 40:53Speaker 05

  We were talking, they replaced midgets with, uh, with, sorry, the little people.

• 40:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, thank you.

• 40:59Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 41:00Speaker 05

  Which, whatever, I mean.

• 41:01Adam Friedland?

  My dad.

• 41:02Speaker 05

  How is dwarves okay?

• 41:05Speaker 04

  I don't know if dwarf is okay.

• 41:06Speaker 05

  This is a trite argument.

• 41:07Speaker 04

  I don't know if dwarf is okay.

• 41:09Speaker 05

  It is.

• 41:10Speaker 04

  I can call them dwarfs?

• 41:11Speaker 05

  The actual disease is called dwarfism.

• 41:14Speaker 04

  I know that, but I, can I call you a dwarf if you are one?

• 41:17Adam Friedland?

  No.

• 41:17Speaker 04

  I do, well, because here's the thing, some people are just fucked up and short. They're legally midgets, but they're not dwarves.

• 41:25Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 41:26Speaker 05

  Yeah, dwarfism, and there's two types. I learned all this from watching The Seven Little Johnsons.

• 41:33Adam Friedland?

  What?

• 41:34Speaker 05

  It's a show. It's a show about a dwarf family.

• 41:37Adam Friedland?

  What are the two types, right? There's like the Vern Troyer.

• 41:39Speaker 05

  There's the famous, that, yeah, he has, it's called like, uh, fallopinisus dwarfism or something.

• 41:45Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's an orchid.

• 41:47Speaker 05

  Yeah, and, uh...

• 41:48Adam Friedland?

  He's a flower.

• 41:49Speaker 05

  There's other types where it's like osteopenesis.

• 41:52Speaker 04

  Hasbilla.

• 41:54Adam Friedland?

  What's that?

• 41:55Speaker 04

  My, I thought, I thi- I might have even said it on the show before, but my idea was for Hasbilla to start doing an OnlyFans.

• 42:01Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 42:01Speaker 04

  And sell that to legal, to pedophiles legally. But, I, like, Hasbilla is like, that, it's like, they look, he looks like a baby, whereas somebody like with the fucking Game of Thrones guy, he looks like an, an older man.

• 42:14Speaker 05

  The big forehead is, is a type.

• 42:16Adam Friedland?

  That's the Game of Thrones.

• 42:17Speaker 04

  Are those two different types, though?

• 42:18Speaker 05

  I think they are, yeah.

• 42:19Speaker 04

  I'd way rather be the Game of Thrones guy.

• 42:22Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 42:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, where you're kinda like, you've got Benjyman buttons.

• 42:25Speaker 05

  Black boy style.

• 42:27Adam Friedland?

  And they're always messing it up for the other dwarfs, just trying to have a good time.

• 42:32Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 42:32Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, yeah. Like the classic Chris Rock bit.

• 42:35Speaker 04

  But you can't call it, midgets is fucked up, but that sounds like, like, that sounds like a legal term.

• 42:41Speaker 05

  It does.

• 42:43Speaker 04

  But you can't, you're just little people. That seems, and that's, we don't.

• 42:45Speaker 05

  It's one of the mysteries of language.

• 42:47Speaker 04

  So you saw Wicked by yourself?

• 42:49Adam Friedland?

  No, with his girlfriend.

• 42:50Speaker 05

  Yeah, I went to go see Wicked, yeah.

• 42:52Adam Friedland?

  We were talking today about going to see it without our girlfriends, just because they wanna see it.

• 42:57Speaker 05

  It's, it's not bad, it's good.

• 42:58Speaker 04

  It's good?

• 42:59Speaker 05

  Yeah, Nick liked it. If you go into it and you're watching a musical that's mostly for children and you expect that, it's good. You know?

• 43:05Speaker 04

  Yeah?

• 43:06Speaker 05

  It's a disappoint.

• 43:06Adam Friedland?

  Ben Shapiro did like a-

• 43:07Speaker 05

  And Adams whole thing now being like-

• 43:09Adam Friedland?

  A full review?

• 43:09Speaker 05

  Nick loved it.

• 43:11Adam Friedland?

  What?

• 43:11Speaker 04

  But you didn't love it, you just liked it?

• 43:13Speaker 05

  It's just good, yeah, I'll probably never watch it again.

• 43:15Speaker 04

  Well, you don't have to, yeah.

• 43:16Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 43:17Speaker 04

  Did you cry?

• 43:18Speaker 05

  No, there's nothing to cry about.

• 43:20Adam Friedland?

  He cried.

• 43:22Speaker 05

  What is there to cry about in the movie?

• 43:24Speaker 04

  I've never seen it.

• 43:24Adam Friedland?

  He cried Call Me By Your Name.

• 43:26Speaker 05

  It's songs and dancing and like-

• 43:28Speaker 04

  Seems like a joyous thing.

• 43:29Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's, there's nothing, it's a fun movie.

• 43:32Speaker 04

  Should we go see it after this?

• 43:33Adam Friedland?

  Only because our girlfriends wanna see it.

• 43:35Speaker 04

  My girlfriend doesn't wanna see it.

• 43:36Adam Friedland?

  Oh, my girlfriend wants to see it.

• 43:38Speaker 04

  Wicked?

• 43:39Adam Friedland?

  If I was like, yeah.

• 43:40Speaker 04

  You should treat her right.

• 43:41Adam Friedland?

  Brayson and I raised.

• 43:42Speaker 04

  It's all wicked. You saw me and the boys are gonna see Wicked tonight.

• 43:45Adam Friedland?

  No, no, just like, just like, uh, just be like, oh, fuck, I saw it. Just not even mention it. I saw it with Bray.

• 43:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, so, yeah, we went to a matinee at the Alamo Drafthouse.

• 43:54Adam Friedland?

  It was okay. Yeah, it was fine.

• 43:56Speaker 05

  That almost ruined it, seeing it.

• 43:57Adam Friedland?

  We were just bored.

• 43:58Speaker 04

  I hate going to the Alamo Draf- I hate it.

• 44:01Speaker 05

  Go back to Austin. Get the fuck out. Put a normal movie theater in there.

• 44:06Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 44:06Speaker 04

  Give me some space to jack off in here.

• 44:08Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 44:09Speaker 04

  I don't li- I don't like that. I don't like the lying down in there. I don't like anything. I wanna be, I wanna go, excuse me, excuse me when I pass by people. And I want the big ol', I want, I want popcorn that tastes like shit that I spill everywhere and then leave it everywhere and make a big mess.

• 44:24Adam Friedland?

  I want a big ol' girl yelling at the screen.

• 44:27Speaker 04

  I'm yelling at the screen. I'm talking on the phone in there.

• 44:30Adam Friedland?

  I wanna take calls.

• 44:31Speaker 04

  I'm taking, I'm taking calls.

• 44:33Speaker 05

  It's like if, if, if you had to go see a movie on Reddit. That's what the Drafthouse.

• 44:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, if they like a streaming.

• 44:40Speaker 05

  Guys kinda thing.

• 44:41Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 44:42Speaker 04

  You know what I hate?

• 44:43Speaker 05

  Talking in the movie theater.

• 44:44Speaker 04

  We have the sanctity of the film zone.

• 44:47Speaker 05

  Shut up.

• 44:47Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 44:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 44:48Speaker 05

  You shut up.

• 44:49Speaker 04

  They're talking in the movie, why can't I talk in real life?

• 44:51Adam Friedland?

  Yeah. It's racist.

• 44:53Speaker 04

  Yeah. I just don't understand. So he can talk, even though he's not even here, am I being rude to the guy who made this movie two years ago?

• 45:00Adam Friedland?

  You know what they're saying?

• 45:01Speaker 05

  I'm really trying to, to concentrate on Wicked, the musical about.

• 45:07Adam Friedland?

  Dude, the, the rules.

• 45:08Speaker 05

  The Wizard of Oz, and if somebody dares to quietly answer their cellphone, I mean, that is.

• 45:15Speaker 04

  I'm sorry.

• 45:15Speaker 05

  Not only am I going to blow that way out of proportion, I'm gonna have to po- I'm gonna have to go home and talk about it online. I'm gonna have to tell people. And look for validation.

• 45:24Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 45:25Speaker 04

  Like, I'm sorry.

• 45:26Speaker 05

  They're not as goo- they're not, this person is not as good at watching movies as I am.

• 45:31Speaker 04

  Are my Instagram stories too loud?

• 45:34Speaker 05

  I'm really good at watching movies. That's why I despise when people talk during a movie. And interrupt my serious movie watching is that my breasts get bigger and bigger from popcorn.

• 45:44Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, my male breasts.

• 45:45Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 45:46Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 45:46Speaker 04

  My gino comastia.

• 45:48Adam Friedland?

  My fucking vagina.

• 45:50Speaker 04

  My, my volcanoes. I'm just like, dude, let me fucking, sometimes the movie's boring, there's a lull, there's just a bunch of dialogue. Let me watch Instagram stories.

• 45:59Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, right.

• 46:00Speaker 04

  Let me see what, Sydney Sweeney's on there, so she can be on screen, but she can't be on my phone at the same time.

• 46:08Adam Friedland?

  She's the goat, dude.

• 46:08Speaker 04

  I just, well, she's beautiful.

• 46:10Adam Friedland?

  She's so hot.

• 46:11Speaker 04

  She's beautiful.

• 46:12Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, yeah. I didn't comment that on her post today, but I should have.

• 46:15Speaker 04

  It's insane how beautiful Sydney Sweeney is.

• 46:17Adam Friedland?

  She, she's in New York. I wanted to comment, yo, you in New York right now?

• 46:23Speaker 04

  But I wanna leave, I wanna send her a message or leave her a comment.

• 46:26Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 46:27Speaker 04

  And I can't do that. I have to wait until after or I'm gonna forget.

• 46:29Adam Friedland?

  And I wanna do text to talk too. You look beautiful. Send.

• 46:34Speaker 04

  It's just ridiculous. All the rules that we have is, cause it's not illegal to talk in the movies.

• 46:39Adam Friedland?

  Also the draft house, have you seen their other rules?

• 46:41Speaker 04

  What?

• 46:42Adam Friedland?

  No sagging, no do rags.

• 46:44Speaker 04

  They got a dress code in there.

• 46:45Adam Friedland?

  No sports jerseys.

• 46:47Speaker 04

  You have to wear like an oversized Quentin Tarantino t-shirt.

• 46:49Adam Friedland?

  So no talking, but also no do rags. What do you, what are they?

• 46:52Speaker 04

  Interesting.

• 46:53Adam Friedland?

  Interesting.

• 46:54Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's, but it's so gay. The way they present that, it's like Lieutenant Worf here to tell you to pull up your pants. And it's like, they have to make it even.

• 47:01Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, like Chris, like, like Worf is the coolest black guy.

• 47:04Speaker 05

  If it was Hitler's movie theater.

• 47:06Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 47:06Speaker 05

  And it's like, get your, shut your black ass up. Pull up your fucking pants. Then I, then I could be okay with that, but because it's like, a nerd.

• 47:15Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 47:16Speaker 05

  You know, it's like, oh, you're ruining weird science by being black.

• 47:19Speaker 04

  Exactly.

• 47:20Adam Friedland?

  LeVar Burton here.

• 47:22Speaker 05

  Oh, it's John Hughes Weekend and your blackness is ruining it. It's like, these are, you, like.

• 47:28Adam Friedland?

  You know how black guys are always ruining midnight screenings of the Rocky Horror Picture Show?

• 47:32Speaker 05

  They call the police. That's what it is.

• 47:34Speaker 04

  Exactly. That's what it is.

• 47:35Adam Friedland?

  It is true. It's Karen ass institution.

• 47:37Speaker 04

  Yeah. I hate it. I hate it. I go in there, I take my fucking shirt off, I take my fucking cellphone out.

• 47:42Speaker 05

  I'm gonna start bringing Louis to the dra, I'm gonna get Louis drunk and bring him to the draft house. Several nights a week.

• 47:49Speaker 04

  Uh huh.

• 47:50Speaker 05

  Till an incident happens.

• 47:51Speaker 04

  Unleash him.

• 47:51Speaker 05

  Till he fights.

• 47:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 47:53Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 47:53Speaker 04

  It is rude that they, cause it's like if they want us not to do those things.

• 47:58Adam Friedland?

  They told me I couldn't penny board through the theater and then that would lead to something.

• 48:02Speaker 04

  They should have Congress make it illegal. But it's not illegal.

• 48:08Speaker 04

  I know, which is good.

• 48:09Adam Friedland?

  It's good.

• 48:10Speaker 04

  But put it in a bill. Yeah, I, I like to go. And I just, yeah, I take calls. Take shit off. I make myself at home.

• 48:22Adam Friedland?

  I like to, my, I'm sitting next to my girlfriend and say, it's work, it's work. And I get on the, the aisle of the movie theater. I'm like, what's up, baby? No, I'm not doing anything. I saw a guy do that at a restaurant recently. He was like waiting with a girl.

• 48:35Speaker 04

  You saw him cheat?

• 48:36Adam Friedland?

  And he was like, they were being seated and he's like, it's work, it's work. And he's like, hey, baby, what's up? No, I'm not doing shit. Yeah.

• 48:43Speaker 04

  That's so sick.

• 48:44Adam Friedland?

  And I, and I called the police. I called the police.

• 48:48Speaker 04

  That should be illegal. Trump should make cheating illegal.

• 48:49Adam Friedland?

  It should be illegal.

• 48:50Speaker 04

  It should be.

• 48:51Speaker 05

  I saw, I, I, I was at Target. I was like an aisle over and I could just hear this lady and she's like, the fuck are you looking at? It's always no, no kids having bitches looking. It's always no kid, you ain't never dropped no seed at your pussy. So don't, I'm talking to you the way your mama should have talked to you, right? It's like, she's like.

• 49:11Adam Friedland?

  It's such a random thing to say.

• 49:12Speaker 05

  An argument with somebody.

• 49:13Adam Friedland?

  That doesn't have kids?

• 49:14Speaker 05

  It's a woman that's not parenting correctly and she's had an interaction with somebody saying like, you know, maybe she hit her kid or something.

• 49:22Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, stop hitting your kid.

• 49:23Speaker 05

  Somebody, yeah, and so.

• 49:25Adam Friedland?

  That is the.

• 49:25Speaker 05

  Alright, whatever.

• 49:26Adam Friedland?

  That is the child abuse target, the Atlantic Terminal.

• 49:28Speaker 05

  I couldn't see it.

• 49:29Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 49:29Speaker 05

  I couldn't see it.

• 49:30Adam Friedland?

  I've seen kids get hit in that one.

• 49:31Speaker 05

  Couldn't see it, right? But I continue shopping. I'm like on the other side of the store now. It's five minutes later. Isle over, what the fuck you looking at? It's like, you ain't, you ain't got no damn kid. She's still doing it. Right? So now it's like, is this a crazy person that's just having like the same argument?

• 49:48Speaker 04

  Hearing the kids?

• 49:48Speaker 05

  Uh, no, I don't hear the kid at all. So it's like, oh, this is a crazy person having the same invisible argument over and over and over again. Right? One more time it happens. Still, I happen to just be an aisle away and I'm like, yeah, it's a crazy person that's, you know. I'm waiting in line to check out. Then I see the lady.

• 50:05Adam Friedland?

  She yells at you?

• 50:06Speaker 05

  She, no, she's not yelling at me. She's got a stroller with a baby in it and she doesn't have a shopping cart. So the baby is just buried under like.

• 50:18Adam Friedland?

  All of her items. That was her child baby's just like crushed. I'm gonna let her parent. I'm gonna let that lady parent how she wants to.

• 50:25Speaker 05

  The funniest thing I've ever seen. Cause you can't push a. Yeah, you can't.

• 50:30Adam Friedland?

  Carriage and a.

• 50:31Speaker 05

  It's true. Yeah.

• 50:32Adam Friedland?

  Come on.

• 50:32Speaker 05

  And then so people were staring at her. She's like, what? You ain't got no damn kids?

• 50:38Adam Friedland?

  That's so funny.

• 50:39Speaker 04

  He's like Orville's Redenbacher on top of his baby's head.

• 50:43Speaker 05

  Well, it was so funny because it was such a cute little baby, but it was like just being squished by, you know? Yeah, like a case of Mountain Dew.

• 50:51Adam Friedland?

  It was heavy.

• 50:52Speaker 05

  Yeah. It was all stacked up all high, but then with like a hole for the head.

• 50:57Speaker 04

  I learned a really long time ago, like when I was like a young teenager, that if you tell someone to stop hitting their kids, it's like the world, they'll kill you.

• 51:05Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 51:05Speaker 04

  People are getting really defensive.

• 51:07Speaker 05

  That happened. I was on the train like 10 years ago and there was a, there was a lady like choke slamming her mentally disabled, like 10 year old against the window and he's like, oh, you know, it's like, you know, disabled. I mean, it was like radio. Yeah. This lady, she's like, and then calling him the N word and being like, shut the fuck up, which is very funny. I mean, I get like.

• 51:28Adam Friedland?

  She hit her limit.

• 51:28Speaker 05

  Well, cause just calling him the N word too.

• 51:30Adam Friedland?

  That's crazy. Crazy.

• 51:33Speaker 05

  And like, you know, and so I just, I was like, you know, I went up and I was like lady, you know? But she's like, what? And she started screaming at me and she's like, you want to fucking do something? And I'm like, no, just like.

• 51:45Adam Friedland?

  I don't want to do anything.

• 51:46Speaker 05

  Let's just chill out here, you know? And then, I don't know. She yelled at me for like fucking 10 minutes and eventually.

• 51:52Speaker 04

  You're making him more.

• 51:53Speaker 05

  Yeah, right. And then she got on the phone with some guy and she was like, come get your fucking son. I don't care. I'll go to jail or whatever. But yeah, it was like, yeah, I guess maybe I, I prevented that kid from being choked for.

• 52:06Adam Friedland?

  For five minutes.

• 52:06Speaker 05

  For five seconds.

• 52:07Speaker 04

  Yeah. But you bet, she's banking it like really later though.

• 52:10Adam Friedland?

  But you're a hero.

• 52:11Speaker 04

  I told a lady on the bus in San Francisco and I was like 13 not to hit her kid, which I was like also kind of a child at the time myself.

• 52:19Adam Friedland?

  You're precocious.

• 52:20Speaker 04

  And she just started fucking going after. I had to get off the bus because she started charging at me. I was like, all right, you really, you just want to hit this? Maybe. It feels great to do.

• 52:28Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 52:29Speaker 04

  That's the thing is like, I don't know, but people like, cause that's the thing is like.

• 52:31Adam Friedland?

  Did your parents hit you?

• 52:32Speaker 04

  I got like smacked in the ass and stuff.

• 52:35Adam Friedland?

  I got a little bit.

• 52:36Speaker 04

  Sexually, yeah, yeah. Like during, it was like light, like BDSM.

• 52:39Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 52:39Speaker 04

  But like, no, like I would get spooned in the ass.

• 52:42Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, I would get the ball gag.

• 52:44Speaker 04

  Exactly.

• 52:44Adam Friedland?

  I'll get the game back.

• 52:45Speaker 05

  Show them the slapjack.

• 52:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 52:47Speaker 05

  I'm surprised you haven't pulled that out.

• 52:48Speaker 04

  Where is it?

• 52:49Adam Friedland?

  Where's your slapjack?

• 52:50Speaker 04

  They got the slapjack.

• 52:51Speaker 05

  Where do you even get that? At like a spy store?

• 52:54Adam Friedland?

  Does it hurt? Ouch.

• 52:56Speaker 05

  Hit his thigh with it.

• 52:57Adam Friedland?

  No, it's scary.

• 52:58Speaker 05

  No, hit his thigh with it. Adam, move your hand.

• 53:01Adam Friedland?

  It's not ISIS, dude. Hi, hi.

• 53:06Adam Friedland?

  Ah, ah, fuck me, pissy. Stop, stop, stop, stop.

• 53:11Speaker 04

  It hurts a little bit, don't it?

• 53:12Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, it's got some half.

• 53:13Speaker 04

  It hurts.

• 53:13Adam Friedland?

  I got it, I showed you.

• 53:14Speaker 04

  Don't be fucking, no, no.

• 53:15Adam Friedland?

  I showed you my.

• 53:16Speaker 04

  Down, down.

• 53:17Adam Friedland?

  I showed you my billy clip. Where do they, what kind of cops have that Keystone style?

• 53:21Speaker 05

  No, it's for private detectives.

• 53:23Adam Friedland?

  It's for gum shoes?

• 53:24Speaker 04

  Yeah, they hit you in the back of the hat. You, oh yeah, you got scared on that one.

• 53:27Adam Friedland?

  I don't want it.

• 53:29Speaker 04

  Give me thirty dollars.

• 53:30Adam Friedland?

  Are you having your fucking war?

• 53:31Speaker 04

  Give me money.

• 53:31Adam Friedland?

  Are you having your fucking flashbacks? Listening to Kung Town in Syria?

• 53:36Speaker 04

  Didn't exist yet.

• 53:37Adam Friedland?

  Ouchie, ouchie.

• 53:38Speaker 04

  He didn't like that, it hurts.

• 53:39Adam Friedland?

  Ouchie.

• 53:39Speaker 04

  It's bad, but I can take it.

• 53:42Adam Friedland?

  I'm gonna get so much pussy off of going to Iraq. Ouch, stop it.

• 53:48Speaker 04

  No, no, you can't have it. You're gonna break the leather.

• 53:51Speaker 05

  I'm in Israel. Do you feel like you lost kinda?

• 53:55Speaker 04

  No, I'm a neutral arbiter.

• 53:56Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 53:57Adam Friedland?

  Oh yeah, he doesn't care anymore.

• 53:58Speaker 04

  I'm a mercenary.

• 53:59Adam Friedland?

  Oh, yeah.

• 53:59Speaker 04

  No, I'm, my, my guys, my guys kinda were left out of the whole equation.

• 54:04Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 54:04Speaker 04

  Like it all happened around them.

• 54:06Adam Friedland?

  You were in the girl one, right?

• 54:07Speaker 04

  Well, there was girls there, yeah, yeah. I was in the girl one, yeah.

• 54:10Adam Friedland?

  Was it like, did everyone shower together like Starship Troopers?

• 54:13Speaker 04

  No, no, wasn't like that. They don't like that.

• 54:15Speaker 05

  It wasn't like, it wasn't like. Denise Richards?

• 54:18Speaker 04

  You don't shower.

• 54:19Adam Friedland?

  Wild thing.

• 54:20Speaker 04

  What shower is there?

• 54:22Adam Friedland?

  I don't know, maybe a hose or something.

• 54:24Speaker 04

  They don't have shower. I mean, they have them somewhere, but not where I was.

• 54:29Adam Friedland?

  How'd you clean your ass?

• 54:30Speaker 04

  No, they have a lot of barbers.

• 54:32Speaker 05

  They don't even have barbers.

• 54:32Speaker 04

  It's mostly barbers there.

• 54:33Adam Friedland?

  They have toilet paper.

• 54:34Speaker 05

  Why do they all got all that hair?

• 54:37Speaker 04

  What do you mean? Oh, those, well, they have to do that. That's like a religious thing. What do you think shaves the mustache?

• 54:43Speaker 05

  They can't, yeah, they're allowed to trim the mustache.

• 54:45Speaker 04

  Amazing. They can only trim the mustache.

• 54:47Speaker 05

  And then the British did the opposite.

• 54:48Speaker 04

  They just had, well, our guys all had mustaches and I tried to grow one. I can't do it.

• 54:52Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 54:53Speaker 04

  I really just can't. I don't have any testosterone.

• 54:56Speaker 05

  Well, you got a very small upper lip area.

• 54:58Speaker 04

  I do, yeah.

• 54:59Speaker 05

  It's not, it's not the...

• 55:01Speaker 04

  It's a thin one. I can only grow a pencil mustache.

• 55:03Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's like an eyebrow, basically.

• 55:04Speaker 04

  Um, but, uh, yeah, no, they were kind of left out of like...

• 55:07Adam Friedland?

  They were gonna make a movie, right? The Brace movie with the little guy from Game of Thrones, right?

• 55:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, that guy, Sidney Sweeney.

• 55:14Adam Friedland?

  Sidney Sweeney?

• 55:15Speaker 04

  Sidney Sweeney was supposed to be in it.

• 55:17Adam Friedland?

  As one of the girls from the shower?

• 55:18Speaker 04

  Dasha was gonna be in it?

• 55:19Speaker 05

  Dasha Sweeney was great. She's playing Syria itself.

• 55:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 55:22Speaker 05

  She's tied down to the ground and they've written Syria on her stuff.

• 55:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, it was like an, it was like an art.

• 55:26Speaker 05

  And she's being assaulted by a bunch of different...

• 55:29Speaker 04

  From Sydney?

• 55:30Adam Friedland?

  Should I just comment, "Yo, you in the city"?

• 55:32Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 55:33Speaker 05

  Just building yourself up for that?

• 55:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, trying to just hype you up.

• 55:37Adam Friedland?

  It's like 18,000 comments. This is the funny thing, right?

• 55:41Speaker 05

  I'm gonna do it.

• 55:42Adam Friedland?

  Yo, you in the city?

• 55:43Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 55:43Adam Friedland?

  Nick and I went to, to Union Square. She was handing out waters and Nick made me like, uh, he made me a business card. It was like right when we were starting the show.

• 55:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 55:51Adam Friedland?

  And like, uh, Adam, Adam Ginsberg, our old, uh, editor was like, "Yeah, Sidney Sweeney's handing out waters."

• 55:57Speaker 05

  He's like, "Yeah, maybe I get a chance."

• 55:59Speaker 04

  He's handing out waters?

• 56:00Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, yeah. And so Nick like, just, it's like, he's like, fucking like, it's so serious. He's like, "Get the fuck up, Adam." He writes this business card?

• 56:08Speaker 05

  We're going.

• 56:08Adam Friedland?

  It's, I, I want to find the picture of the business card, but I went up to her and I handed it to her and she was like, I think she thought I was mentally retarded.

• 56:17Speaker 04

  So Sidney Sweeney has actually been disgusted by Adam in real life?

• 56:21Adam Friedland?

  I just want a second shot at love.

• 56:22Speaker 04

  Oh, that's incredible.

• 56:23Adam Friedland?

  I'll show you the picture.

• 56:25Speaker 04

  Why was she handing out waters?

• 56:26Speaker 05

  She's kind of busted in real life.

• 56:27Speaker 04

  No way, dude.

• 56:29Adam Friedland?

  No, shut up, dude. Shut the fuck up, dude.

• 56:30Speaker 04

  Get out of here. Get out of here. Go back to your hole.

• 56:34Adam Friedland?

  In real life, she's kind of busted, dude.

• 56:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, I don't know. She looks fat to me.

• 56:39Speaker 05

  Nah, in real life.

• 56:41Speaker 04

  I wouldn't fuck her.

• 56:42Speaker 05

  Yeah, nah.

• 56:43Speaker 04

  Nah.

• 56:44Speaker 05

  Trash, honestly.

• 56:46Speaker 04

  No, no, no. I actually like really don't appreciate you saying stuff like that.

• 56:50Speaker 05

  I'm kidding, dude.

• 56:51Speaker 04

  About Sydney?

• 56:52Speaker 05

  I'm kidding.

• 56:53Speaker 04

  So beautiful.

• 56:54Speaker 05

  In real life?

• 56:55Adam Friedland?

  She's gorgeous.

• 56:56Speaker 04

  Why was she in at Waters?

• 56:58Speaker 05

  Cause they paid her probably.

• 56:59Speaker 04

  Was there like a thousand people in line?

• 57:01Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 57:02Speaker 04

  I'd be crawling on my hands and knees.

• 57:03Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 57:04Speaker 04

  Licking her kneecaps.

• 57:05Speaker 05

  I said, let me know when it's Whoopi Goldberg.

• 57:07Speaker 04

  Oh my god.

• 57:08Speaker 05

  Nick stood at like, he made me wait in line, but he wouldn't get. Whoopi Goldberg's breastfeeding people in Union Square.

• 57:16Speaker 05

  It's a hot summer.

• 57:17Speaker 04

  She's making eggnog.

• 57:18Speaker 05

  It's a hot summer.

• 57:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 57:19Speaker 05

  I got free breast milk. For anyone just wearing the world's biggest sunglasses.

• 57:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 57:24Speaker 05

  She's like, yeah.

• 57:25Speaker 04

  Couple of vices.

• 57:25Speaker 05

  She's got an afghan on, but they've cut a hole out where her nipple is, and you think it's her knee, but it's actually.

• 57:30Speaker 04

  It's just, it's a saggy, saggy, saggy breast.

• 57:33Speaker 05

  It's all the way down here, and there's a hole cut out.

• 57:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 57:35Speaker 05

  She goes, help yourself. Brought to you by the New York City Parks Department.

• 57:39Speaker 04

  You have to go down on like a, on like one of those boards you go underneath.

• 57:42Speaker 05

  And he's like, we'd like to thank Sister Goldberg.

• 57:47Speaker 05

  For bringing milk to the denizens of this fine, stylish city.

• 57:53Speaker 04

  Well, he's vegan.

• 57:55Speaker 05

  My breast milk is, human breast milk is vegan.

• 57:58Speaker 04

  It's vegan, we're good to do that.

• 57:59Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 58:00Speaker 04

  That's probably, theologically difficult for them.

• 58:03Speaker 05

  Fucking human breast milk. What kind of vegan is like, oh, I don't breastfeed?

• 58:07Speaker 04

  I guess cause they consented.

• 58:09Speaker 05

  Well, they consented, but also that's what a baby's.

• 58:11Adam Friedland?

  Here's the business card he wrote. And then Nick took these pictures of me. I'm like standing next to the.

• 58:19Speaker 04

  Oh, there she is.

• 58:20Adam Friedland?

  There she is, yeah, yeah.

• 58:21Speaker 04

  Oh, she's gorgeous.

• 58:22Adam Friedland?

  She's so hot. And then, here's.

• 58:26Adam Friedland?

  And then here's me handing her the card, and she like, literally thought I was mentally retarded.

• 58:31Speaker 04

  Oh, she's giving you a really, yeah, the smile isn't great. You couldn't make eye contact with her?

• 58:35Adam Friedland?

  Okay.

• 58:36Speaker 04

  So you just stood back. Cause you didn't wanna like, she might freak out if she saw you.

• 58:41Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 58:42Adam Friedland?

  Dude, look at her.

• 58:42Speaker 05

  I would come off like fucking Travis Bickle if I walked up to that truck.

• 58:46Adam Friedland?

  No, that's, that, there's chemistry, I think a little bit.

• 58:48Speaker 04

  You're not even look, you're looking literally the opposite direction.

• 58:51Speaker 05

  Chemistry is, uh, the chemistry is Rohypnol, that's the chemistry.

• 58:55Speaker 04

  Yes. Well, chemistry is often when two-

• 58:56Adam Friedland?

  I try to give her, I try to give her a drink too, yeah.

• 58:59Speaker 04

  You try to give her a drink?

• 59:01Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, Roofalin.

• 59:03Speaker 04

  Um, chemistry is like usually when two people make a connection, but it seems like there you're afraid of looking.

• 59:07Adam Friedland?

  Oh yeah, here's her holding the card.

• 59:09Speaker 05

  Yeah. Now she feels like I'm, I'm like dangerous.

• 59:11Speaker 04

  Look at the, look at the face she's making.

• 59:13Speaker 05

  I know.

• 59:14Speaker 04

  Just like, huh.

• 59:16Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, she looks disgusted.

• 59:17Speaker 04

  It's like something you do when your su- like your, your idiot son shows you a sculpture.

• 59:19Adam Friedland?

  She thought I was mentally retarded, she did, she did.

• 59:22Speaker 04

  You don't give off-

• 59:23Speaker 05

  You know what this looks exactly like?

• 59:25Speaker 04

  What?

• 59:25Speaker 05

  It looks like the picture that got Al Franken cancelled.

• 59:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, it does.

• 59:32Adam Friedland?

  It does look like my hand is about to touch her breast.

• 59:33Speaker 05

  It looks exactly like the Al Franken cancellation photo.

• 59:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 59:38Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, show the fans that. Let's get me cancelled. It's me and my girl, ex.

• 59:43Speaker 04

  Sydney. The SS.

• 59:45Adam Friedland?

  I love her. Yeah, I love her.

• 59:47Speaker 04

  She's beautiful. You know, she was 16 back then.

• 59:49Adam Friedland?

  No, she wasn't.

• 59:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, she was.

• 59:50Adam Friedland?

  No, she wasn't, dude.

• 59:51Speaker 04

  No, she was. She's 20, she's 20 now.

• 59:53Adam Friedland?

  No, she wasn't, dude. No, she wasn't. Shut the fuck up, dude.

• 59:56Speaker 05

  So you're a pedophile.

• 59:57Adam Friedland?

  I wanna see, I just wanna see pictures of us.

• 1:00:00Speaker 05

  Strike nine.

• 1:00:01Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:00:04Speaker 04

  Younger!

• 1:00:06Speaker 05

  Yes, yes. A dial that says younger.

• 1:00:10Speaker 04

  Now, now she, wait, now a dial that says younger?

• 1:00:15Speaker 04

  Younger!

• 1:00:15Speaker 05

  Yes, yes!

• 1:00:17Speaker 04

  Younger!

• 1:00:23Adam Friedland?

  Now, look at this. Now she's looking away.

• 1:00:25Speaker 04

  She's looking away from you. You're looking directly at her and she can't even look at you. This, this, this fucking other Jewish pedophile coming up to me on the streets.

• 1:00:33Speaker 05

  You see that we pan to the rest of the line? It's a millionaire.

• 1:00:37Speaker 04

  It's all the Jews, all the way down.

• 1:00:40Speaker 05

  Hi Sydney, I've got an internet radio show called.

• 1:00:45Speaker 04

  I'm Adam Friedland, it's the Adam Friedland Show, we'd love to have you on.

• 1:00:49Speaker 05

  My, my, my name's Adam Weinfried and I've got a, a radio show.

• 1:00:54Speaker 04

  It would look great in a, should you post it on Instagram?

• 1:00:57Speaker 05

  Like on.

• 1:00:58Speaker 04

  For what? What do you want from that, Adam? You want some people to, you want people to heart it?

• 1:01:04Speaker 05

  Sydney Sweeney.

• 1:01:05Speaker 04

  You want people, yeah, a tiger.

• 1:01:06Speaker 05

  She's probably got tags open.

• 1:01:08Speaker 04

  Oh yeah.

• 1:01:09Speaker 05

  She's just gonna hit that button, just tributes.

• 1:01:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:01:13Speaker 05

  I have a girlfriend.

• 1:01:13Speaker 04

  You're fucking beautiful.

• 1:01:15Speaker 05

  Your phone.

• 1:01:16Speaker 04

  I wish you could see that.

• 1:01:17Speaker 05

  Detects moisture when you fucking click on that tab.

• 1:01:20Adam Friedland?

  I'm gonna post it right now.

• 1:01:21Speaker 05

  Don't plug the charger in right now, the iPhone needs to dry off.

• 1:01:24Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:01:25Adam Friedland?

  Save image.

• 1:01:26Speaker 04

  I'm just, I, I, Adam, I think that like, if you think you have a shot with Sweeney?

• 1:01:31Adam Friedland?

  No, I have a girlfriend.

• 1:01:33Speaker 05

  Adam's, Adam's more into Sydney Peeny.

• 1:01:36Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:01:37Speaker 05

  It's an Australian man who's famous for not wearing pants.

• 1:01:51Adam Friedland?

  It's not funny.

• 1:01:52Speaker 05

  Yeah, it is.

• 1:01:54Adam Friedland?

  I'm just looking at pictures of us and just remembering.

• 1:01:56Speaker 04

  You and, you two? Or you and Sydney?

• 1:02:00Speaker 05

  There's only one picture of me and Adam and it's at the hat store.

• 1:02:03Adam Friedland?

  No, there's more pictures of us.

• 1:02:04Speaker 05

  I was, I was just so happy to wear all those different hats.

• 1:02:07Adam Friedland?

  I have so many pictures of us.

• 1:02:08Speaker 04

  If only.

• 1:02:09Speaker 05

  It was when we renewed in New York City and I didn't know that there was like hat stores all over the place.

• 1:02:13Speaker 04

  A Lids?

• 1:02:14Speaker 05

  Well, not a Lids, but they've got all these places that are like.

• 1:02:17Speaker 04

  Oh, like they sell like?

• 1:02:19Speaker 05

  Yeah, like hats, yeah.

• 1:02:22Speaker 04

  You love hats.

• 1:02:23Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:02:24Speaker 04

  Every time I see you, you're wearing a hat.

• 1:02:25Speaker 05

  Yeah, he wears many hats.

• 1:02:26Speaker 04

  But you're not balding.

• 1:02:28Speaker 05

  I know, I just like hats.

• 1:02:30Speaker 04

  Do you think that it gives the impression that you're balding to people who don't?

• 1:02:32Speaker 05

  I don't give a fuck. I like wearing a hat. I like different kinds of hats.

• 1:02:36Speaker 04

  I respect that. What's your favorite, what, what kinds?

• 1:02:39Speaker 05

  Any kind, really.

• 1:02:40Speaker 04

  It'd be so funny if you started wearing like an old timey hat.

• 1:02:43Speaker 05

  Like what, like a top hat?

• 1:02:44Speaker 04

  Not like a top hat, not like a bowler, but like a newsman kinda hat. A tricorn hat I could see you wearing.

• 1:02:49Speaker 05

  No, you can't wear the, the newsies, cause those are ruined by like former punk New England guys.

• 1:02:54Speaker 04

  Not the news, yeah, aging like interro-.

• 1:02:56Speaker 05

  Or IPA guys, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:02:57Speaker 04

  No, not the newsy hat, but like the newsman hat, where it's like, kinda like.

• 1:03:02Speaker 05

  Oh, like a trilby with the, that says press on it, yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:06Speaker 04

  If you started wearing a trilby.

• 1:03:07Speaker 05

  I saw Carlos Valencia recently and he's, he's a comic.

• 1:03:10Speaker 04

  Uh huh.

• 1:03:11Speaker 05

  But he's been wearing, he's been, cause trilbies were hot in like 2004.

• 1:03:15Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:03:16Speaker 05

  For like three weeks.

• 1:03:17Speaker 04

  They were huge.

• 1:03:17Speaker 05

  And I think Carlos got one then, and I can't remember if he was wearing one last time I saw him, but I think he had once. He's still hanging on to that.

• 1:03:24Speaker 04

  That's, I respect that.

• 1:03:26Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:03:26Speaker 04

  Cause those, there was a lot of hats that like, the early 2000s were big for hats.

• 1:03:30Speaker 05

  Yeah. I remember my dad seeing a kid wearing a trilby and him saying faggot.

• 1:03:36Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:03:36Speaker 05

  And that was like rare for him. He's like, I don't, he's like, I hate that. He's like.

• 1:03:40Speaker 04

  And people were wearing.

• 1:03:41Speaker 05

  It's like, why would you wear a hat? Like, what a faggot.

• 1:03:43Speaker 04

  There was guys wearing like the kinda like Mountie, like the, the fucking, what's his name?

• 1:03:47Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:03:48Speaker 04

  Like the Mountie hats, for a little while too.

• 1:03:50Speaker 05

  Like a bulwinkle hat?

• 1:03:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, the rocking bulwinkle hats. Like the wide brim ones. That was like a mixologist kinda hat.

• 1:03:56Speaker 05

  Women about 13 years ago took all the dumb hats for themselves.

• 1:04:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, they did.

• 1:04:01Speaker 05

  You know, and then some black gay guys got in there, but there was that Carmen Sandiego era. Where the white women or gay men were fighting over who gets to be Carmen Sandiego.

• 1:04:12Speaker 04

  Territory over the hats.

• 1:04:13Speaker 05

  And I think white women won.

• 1:04:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:04:15Speaker 05

  Because the fatter ones, the fatter ones took it and then, you know, use them in engagement photos.

• 1:04:21Speaker 04

  That was a big one back then.

• 1:04:22Speaker 05

  You were talking about like the Pharrell, kind of like, yeah.

• 1:04:26Speaker 04

  Pharrell kinda one, but the big sunglasses too.

• 1:04:28Speaker 05

  The Canadian Mountie.

• 1:04:28Speaker 04

  Giant sunglasses. That's when women started wearing them. You couldn't even, they were like in disguise. You couldn't tell what they looked like.

• 1:04:34Speaker 05

  Yeah, no, I love hats. You know what a good type of newsy hat is? Like the one from The Sting. That's a good big floppy.

• 1:04:42Speaker 04

  My dad used to wear those.

• 1:04:44Speaker 05

  Really?

• 1:04:44Adam Friedland?

  Really, as your dad as a child?

• 1:04:46Speaker 04

  No, no, no.

• 1:04:47Adam Friedland?

  Is that why you did drugs?

• 1:04:48Speaker 04

  Like he wore like a big floppy.

• 1:04:50Adam Friedland?

  Oh, that was big in the seventies. Yeah, yeah.

• 1:04:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:04:52Adam Friedland?

  That was like a. Sly and the Family Stone style.

• 1:04:55Speaker 04

  There's not even like a like context where that looks good.

• 1:04:58Speaker 05

  No, yeah, you look like fucking Heathcliff.

• 1:05:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, like you can look with the old style hats, they made sense in the time, right? Like they went with everything else you were wearing. With the big floppy thing, you always look fucked up.

• 1:05:09Speaker 05

  You look like a dumbass.

• 1:05:10Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:05:10Speaker 05

  Like an asshole dumbass.

• 1:05:11Speaker 04

  No disrespect to my dad, but it's a tough hat.

• 1:05:14Speaker 05

  You know who'd look good in one of those? Sydney Sweeney.

• 1:05:16Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, that's true.

• 1:05:16Speaker 04

  Sydney Sweeney, if she was wearing that. She was wearing one of those like goofy like.

• 1:05:20Speaker 05

  I'd be like, oh, she's fun too.

• 1:05:22Speaker 04

  Oh, my god.

• 1:05:23Adam Friedland?

  She's so funny.

• 1:05:24Speaker 04

  A lighter side of Sydney. God.

• 1:05:27Adam Friedland?

  I'm gonna see if Sydney Sweeney.

• 1:05:30Speaker 05

  How did we get on this Sydney Sweeney thing? What?

• 1:05:33Speaker 04

  I was just thinking about it.

• 1:05:34Adam Friedland?

  I was just, Bryce and I were talking about how like.

• 1:05:36Speaker 04

  She's beautiful.

• 1:05:37Adam Friedland?

  They wanna act like there's other kind of.

• 1:05:39Speaker 05

  You know how old we are now though, right? I mean, this is like, this is very much like, you know, I would love to get a piece of.

• 1:05:44Speaker 04

  How old is she? She's thirty-three?

• 1:05:46Speaker 05

  Well, you know, I'd love to get a piece of.

• 1:05:47Adam Friedland?

  She's like our age.

• 1:05:47Speaker 05

  Carmen Electra.

• 1:05:49Speaker 04

  I would also love to get a piece of Carmen Electra.

• 1:05:51Adam Friedland?

  Carmen Electra's hot.

• 1:05:52Speaker 05

  Let me be honest with you, I met Carmen Electra kinda busted in real life.

• 1:05:56Speaker 04

  Really?

• 1:05:56Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:05:57Speaker 04

  You're joking.

• 1:05:58Speaker 05

  No, in real life.

• 1:05:59Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:06:00Speaker 05

  Yeah, tough one.

• 1:06:01Speaker 04

  Carmen Electra, I'm Googling her right now. Oh, she's beautiful. This is what she looks like?

• 1:06:09Adam Friedland?

  What's she looking like?

• 1:06:10Speaker 04

  She's looking good.

• 1:06:11Speaker 05

  We should be liking people our age, like Lauren Bacall or.

• 1:06:14Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:06:15Speaker 05

  Or Faye Dunaway.

• 1:06:17Adam Friedland?

  Really?

• 1:06:18Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:06:18Speaker 04

  Rosario Dawson.

• 1:06:20Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, Raquel Welch.

• 1:06:21Speaker 04

  I did meet, Rosario Dawson's, I think, the only famous, beautiful woman I've ever met.

• 1:06:25Speaker 05

  Really?

• 1:06:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, she did not wanna be around me at all.

• 1:06:28Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:28Speaker 04

  I really had to be like, please take it.

• 1:06:30Speaker 05

  I imagine she probably at this point looks like Jimmy Smits.

• 1:06:34Speaker 04

  No, she kinda looks. I realized later too, I actually had never seen a movie she'd been in.

• 1:06:39Speaker 05

  I just did a computer enhance age in my head and I got Jimmy Smits.

• 1:06:43Adam Friedland?

  Computer enhanced. Yeah, you don't understand.

• 1:06:48Speaker 04

  That's tough.

• 1:06:48Speaker 05

  It'd be funny to go to, go to that, that Sydney Sweeney, uh, bottle signing or whatever that was.

• 1:06:56Adam Friedland?

  Bottle signing?

• 1:06:57Speaker 05

  And just stare at her breasts and go, computer enhanced.

• 1:07:02Speaker 04

  Or just start making camera clicking noises.

• 1:07:04Speaker 05

  Computer.

• 1:07:09Speaker 05

  Computer.

• 1:07:15Speaker 05

  They're like just pulling.

• 1:07:20Speaker 05

  They're like just pulling you away.

• 1:07:27Speaker 05

  Computer. Computer in ass. Don't even look at her.

• 1:07:37Speaker 04

  She's beautiful.

• 1:07:42Speaker 04

  She's beautiful. Do you think she looks at the same moon and shit? Like when you look up?

• 1:07:46Speaker 05

  Yeah, when I look up. It's just like nice that like I'm looking at that moon and she's looking up at that same bad moon.

• 1:07:51Speaker 04

  I always think about how many other chicks are looking up at the moon when I look at it.

• 1:07:54Speaker 05

  I never look at the moon.

• 1:07:56Speaker 04

  You never look at the moon?

• 1:07:57Speaker 05

  Unless it's doing something really cool. Like you know when sometimes the moon's like, blauw!

• 1:08:01Speaker 04

  Blauw, yeah, it's like, it's a blood moon or whatever. That's crazy, but I look at it every night.

• 1:08:06Speaker 05

  When it gets bigger for some reason.

• 1:08:08Speaker 04

  That's fucked up.

• 1:08:09Speaker 05

  I don't understand what's happening.

• 1:08:10Speaker 04

  I think we're closer, or it's closer.

• 1:08:13Speaker 05

  But it's gotta be like twice as close as it normally is.

• 1:08:15Speaker 04

  Sometimes it's huge!

• 1:08:17Speaker 05

  And it happens like, it's just like, okay, today. It doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense. You know, it's like, what the fuck is going on? How fast is it?

• 1:08:23Speaker 04

  They should put amber alerts telling us why.

• 1:08:25Speaker 05

  And all of our girlfriends' pussies are connected to that or something?

• 1:08:28Speaker 04

  That doesn't even, it's the gravity, it's the water, it's the cycles and stuff.

• 1:08:33Speaker 05

  What are they talking about?

• 1:08:34Speaker 04

  I look at the moon every single night because it's crazy. There's a moon?

• 1:08:38Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:08:39Speaker 04

  We have to destroy it.

• 1:08:40Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:08:41Speaker 04

  We have to let the waters flow, because the moon is what keeps water in check.

• 1:08:45Speaker 05

  Elon Musk is gonna go there?

• 1:08:48Speaker 04

  I think he's Mars, is he wants to go to. But I think he might go to the moon first.

• 1:08:51Speaker 05

  You have to start on the moon.

• 1:08:52Speaker 04

  I feel like it seems like his, I'm like, you wanna make a Mars base, make a moon one first.

• 1:08:57Speaker 05

  Yeah, you make a moon base and then you just put an engine on the moon and drive the moon to Mars.

• 1:09:02Speaker 04

  Exactly. And then you can, you can bring Mars, we should just bring Mars closer.

• 1:09:06Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:09:07Speaker 04

  We should put Mars where the moon is.

• 1:09:08Speaker 05

  How do you do that? Like some sort of?

• 1:09:11Speaker 04

  I don't know.

• 1:09:12Speaker 05

  Ion engines.

• 1:09:13Adam Friedland?

  Figure it out. They'll figure it out.

• 1:09:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, something like, so the stratosphere and things like that.

• 1:09:18Adam Friedland?

  Something with a stratosphere, yeah, yeah.

• 1:09:19Speaker 04

  I would, I have no desire. You'd probably do well up there.

• 1:09:22Speaker 05

  No, I would never. The idea of getting in a spaceship terrifies me.

• 1:09:24Speaker 04

  Horrible.

• 1:09:25Speaker 05

  I would like to die at sea. That would be cool, but dying in space, no.

• 1:09:30Speaker 04

  But not in a submarine. You'd like to die above.

• 1:09:33Speaker 05

  Yeah, not in a submarine.

• 1:09:34Speaker 04

  Yeah, that seems awful.

• 1:09:36Speaker 05

  The show, you know, shipwrecked and then I'm fucking just out in the ocean and getting picked apart by. Yeah, right.

• 1:09:42Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:43Speaker 05

  That's cool.

• 1:09:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, I could do, I could go, I could let, I would let go.

• 1:09:46Speaker 05

  We're from this, we're from the ocean. That's true.

• 1:09:49Speaker 04

  Going back.

• 1:09:50Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:09:50Adam Friedland?

  I thought we were from Africa.

• 1:09:53Speaker 05

  Yeah, but before Africa, we were in the ocean.

• 1:09:55Speaker 04

  That's how we got to Europe. We had to cross the ocean.

• 1:09:58Speaker 05

  We got to Africa because we were like fish or something in the water. And then we were like, what, is that, what is that, a banana? And then we came out of the water.

• 1:10:07Speaker 04

  Looks lovely.

• 1:10:07Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:10:08Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, to get banana.

• 1:10:09Speaker 04

  And then we just immediately started killing the boars. But I, I, I would not like to die at sea, but I'd like to die in view of the sea. Like in a beautiful, like an island.

• 1:10:20Speaker 05

  Suicide pod facing the sea.

• 1:10:22Speaker 04

  No, like an island.

• 1:10:23Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:10:24Speaker 04

  You know, with all of my young lovers.

• 1:10:27Speaker 05

  There's no pleasant way to die, really.

• 1:10:31Speaker 04

  I mean, there's gotta be. OD?

• 1:10:33Speaker 05

  I think in battle is probably the only way.

• 1:10:37Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, because you kind of got on top.

• 1:10:40Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:10:40Speaker 04

  That's why they.

• 1:10:41Speaker 05

  The adrenaline's rushing, you're like, you're killing other people, you're surrounded by death.

• 1:10:45Adam Friedland?

  Bray says, Bray said you have, you have 23 confirmed kills though, right?

• 1:10:49Speaker 04

  Yeah, but not in battle.

• 1:10:50Speaker 05

  Did you kill anybody in Syria?

• 1:10:51Speaker 04

  I tried to, but I don't think.

• 1:10:53Speaker 05

  Did you feel bad? Do you feel bad about it?

• 1:10:54Adam Friedland?

  He said they all shot at a house where there was.

• 1:10:56Speaker 04

  We would just like shoot at people. And like, it was like, because we were fighting from like 300 meters away or whatever.

• 1:11:00Speaker 05

  Uh, that's not that far.

• 1:11:01Speaker 04

  It's kind of far.

• 1:11:03Adam Friedland?

  It's really far.

• 1:11:03Speaker 05

  No.

• 1:11:04Speaker 04

  It's really far.

• 1:11:05Adam Friedland?

  You can see.

• 1:11:06Speaker 04

  You can still see.

• 1:11:07Adam Friedland?

  You can see a person.

• 1:11:08Speaker 04

  No, I don't think I killed anybody.

• 1:11:10Speaker 05

  Oh, okay.

• 1:11:11Adam Friedland?

  But you could have.

• 1:11:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, I guess.

• 1:11:13Speaker 05

  You feel bad about that?

• 1:11:15Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:11:15Speaker 05

  Okay, all right.

• 1:11:16Adam Friedland?

  Who was the other guy?

• 1:11:18Speaker 04

  The other guy.

• 1:11:19Speaker 05

  Yeah, like on the other side.

• 1:11:21Adam Friedland?

  ISIS.

• 1:11:21Speaker 05

  You don't know how far away they are. Could've been Sydney Sweeney.

• 1:11:25Speaker 04

  I know. If it was, if I had accidentally killed Sydney Sweeney in like a village in Syria.

• 1:11:30Speaker 05

  Did the government talk to you about that at all? Did they even like ask you?

• 1:11:33Speaker 04

  They asked me to go, yeah.

• 1:11:35Speaker 05

  No, I mean, when you come back, the government.

• 1:11:37Speaker 04

  No, they did. They like took me aside and like, it's not, so it's not illegal.

• 1:11:41Speaker 05

  Sure, but I mean, like, the government will talk to you about stuff that isn't illegal.

• 1:11:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, and so they did. They brought me into an office.

• 1:11:47Speaker 05

  You can go online and be like, ah, man, I fucking hate Verizon and the FBI will shut your house. And be like, oh, what are you gonna do about it?

• 1:11:53Adam Friedland?

  Wait, so what happened? You got, they brought you to a federal building?

• 1:11:57Speaker 04

  No, no, at the airport, they like brought me into like.

• 1:11:59Adam Friedland?

  At TSA? That's it?

• 1:12:00Speaker 04

  No, he was like a guy, he like wasn't wearing the uniform. He was like a guy. He was like, I probably, I think it was like Homeland Security guy.

• 1:12:06Adam Friedland?

  And it was just one time?

• 1:12:07Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, they, they've taken me aside at other times when I've flown and like asked me questions, but not related to Syria. But they took me aside and then they like, asked me a bunch of questions, like, like, who are you with? Like, did you ever shoot this? Did you, because it's illegal to use some kind of like RPGs and shit like that. I think it's like illegal. They asked me about specific like weapons and stuff.

• 1:12:29Adam Friedland?

  Even if you're in Turkey or Syria?

• 1:12:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, I just, I just said, I don't know. I don't know. I just acted like two IQ points dumber than I actually am. And I just said, I don't know for a really long time. And then.

• 1:12:40Adam Friedland?

  That's it?

• 1:12:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's it. It's not illegal.

• 1:12:42Adam Friedland?

  Because Obama was president.

• 1:12:43Speaker 04

  But they also like, no, Trump was president by then.

• 1:12:46Adam Friedland?

  Really?

• 1:12:46Speaker 04

  Obama was president when I went, Trump was president when I came back.

• 1:12:48Adam Friedland?

  Trump let you get away with that crap?

• 1:12:49Speaker 04

  Well, he didn't really fully.

• 1:12:51Adam Friedland?

  He wasn't, he wasn't paying attention.

• 1:12:52Speaker 04

  But they like, they like ask you a bunch of questions, but it's not illegal. And so, the funny thing is though, I did know another dude who went over there who is, uh, from the subcontinent. And they like raided his house twice. Like the FBI like came to his parents' house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but they like, he's not, he's from America, but like, they like came to his house, busted down the door, asked his family all these questions. And everyone I know in Europe got arrested at one point or another, but in America, if you fight for a non-state actor against another non-state actor, it's technically not illegal.

• 1:13:25Speaker 05

  Interesting.

• 1:13:26Adam Friedland?

  Oh, because you weren't fighting for a foreign government?

• 1:13:28Speaker 05

  So I could go to Italy and just kill the mafia?

• 1:13:30Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:30Speaker 04

  It's legal.

• 1:13:31Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:13:32Speaker 04

  It's legal. I think you could do it.

• 1:13:34Speaker 05

  Wait, that doesn't make any sense. How is it not, isn't it still murder?

• 1:13:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, but they can't, I mean if they prove that you do, you know what I mean like?

• 1:13:44Speaker 05

  If I went, if I went to another country and killed somebody.

• 1:13:46Speaker 04

  Yeah, but murder's legal.

• 1:13:47Speaker 05

  I'd be like, well, it's not, it's non-state.

• 1:13:49Speaker 04

  But in war, murder's legal. But no, I mean, it's not, I, I don't, I don't know the, I knew it at one point.

• 1:13:54Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:13:54Speaker 04

  But like, if, maybe if you have like footage of you killing somebody, you could run into some problems there.

• 1:14:00Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:14:01Speaker 04

  But like, if you, which I, I, nothing, like, I know things that I brought.

• 1:14:05Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:14:05Speaker 04

  I brought back a couple of things, but not like, I didn't have any footage of anything. Sand. Sand, yeah.

• 1:14:10Speaker 05

  A bag of sand.

• 1:14:11Speaker 04

  Some soil to grow a new James Carville. The Syrian James Carville to rescue Assad.

• 1:14:16Speaker 05

  That would be awful.

• 1:14:17Speaker 04

  Um, but I, uh, yeah.

• 1:14:18Speaker 05

  What we gotta do is let Israel take as much land as they want.

• 1:14:22Speaker 04

  It's happening. It's crazy.

• 1:14:24Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:14:25Speaker 04

  You see Netanyahu in the Golan?

• 1:14:27Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:14:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:14:28Speaker 05

  It's pretty awesome.

• 1:14:29Speaker 04

  It's, they were just, and they're just going in there and they keep having this Jelani guy come out and be like,

• 1:14:33Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:14:34Speaker 04

  There's no problem here.

• 1:14:35Speaker 05

  Yeah, he's like, it's fine.

• 1:14:35Speaker 04

  It's all good.

• 1:14:36Speaker 05

  It's fine. Check it out, guys. I got a blazer.

• 1:14:38Speaker 04

  Yeah. They're calling, I lo-, I love that the guys who don't like him are calling him just Juleani.

• 1:14:43Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's very funny.

• 1:14:43Speaker 04

  Juleani is so good.

• 1:14:45Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:14:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, he is, uh,

• 1:14:46Speaker 05

  But it's like, what is, there's now, it's, it's, they're just, like, if you're having to, to put up a screen for that in the media, you're like, "Look, I mean, come on. They need to take stuff."

• 1:15:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:15:00Speaker 05

  But the Biden guys have like 10 minutes left, right?

• 1:15:03Speaker 04

  I know, like, I'm not sure.

• 1:15:05Speaker 05

  There's not even a fake pretense. There's nothing.

• 1:15:07Speaker 04

  There's nothing, because like, their whole thing, they bombed, like, Israel has bombed all of Syria's, like, hundreds of airstrikes in the past, like, week.

• 1:15:15Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:15:15Speaker 04

  All of their, like, military stuff, probably a bunch of other shit, like, that they need to run a country. They bombed like the passport office. But like, Israel has just done a completely unrestricted bombing campaign on the, the new Syrian government or whatever. And like, the, the ground invasion is the most incredible thing, because I'm like, well, what are you even doing? You're just driving tanks through the towns.

• 1:15:35Speaker 05

  In case, in case, you know, there's like, you don't want, you don't want, like, uh, there could be a threat.

• 1:15:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, it could be a threat.

• 1:15:42Speaker 05

  And then the people in power are saying like, "Nope, no threats here."

• 1:15:45Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 1:15:46Speaker 05

  So it's like, I don't, No other country can do that.

• 1:15:50Speaker 04

  Turkey's kinda doing it too.

• 1:15:52Speaker 05

  Yeah, but yeah, but we couldn't invade Canada and be like.

• 1:15:56Speaker 04

  We're just looking to see.

• 1:15:57Speaker 05

  Just in case something bad.

• 1:15:59Speaker 04

  They might have something.

• 1:16:00Speaker 05

  Yeah, there might be people in Canada who don't like.

• 1:16:02Speaker 04

  Well, I will say they do want to invade Mexico.

• 1:16:06Speaker 05

  Yeah. Yeah, to get the cartel.

• 1:16:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, they're like, we're gonna, we're gonna send our guys, our boys in, and it's so amazing.

• 1:16:11Speaker 05

  I get like that sometimes. I'm like, you know what, maybe, well, maybe I'll illegally immigrate to South America.

• 1:16:17Speaker 04

  You think you'll, you'll do, you'll go revert, like pass.

• 1:16:19Speaker 05

  You have the Panama hat. I do, because I'm not necessarily an open borders guy.

• 1:16:22Speaker 04

  You'll go down the Darien Gap.

• 1:16:24Speaker 05

  It should cut both ways. If you want open borders, then it's gotta cut both ways. I can go to Veracruz. I can own property.

• 1:16:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:16:31Speaker 05

  I'll do whatever. I'll get a job, not pay taxes. I, that should be available to me. Yeah. And I'm not doing any paperwork. I'm not.

• 1:16:37Speaker 04

  No paperwork, no papers.

• 1:16:38Speaker 05

  I'm not getting a passport. I'm not doing anything. I want money from the government because I don't know Spanish.

• 1:16:43Speaker 04

  No papers.

• 1:16:44Speaker 05

  Right, exactly.

• 1:16:45Speaker 04

  Yeah. You should paint houses.

• 1:16:47Speaker 05

  That should be available. I'm gonna go down there and demand a sex change. I'm, I'm gonna go down and just get drunk in the Home Depot parking.

• 1:16:54Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think you should.

• 1:16:56Speaker 05

  The Mexican.

• 1:16:57Speaker 04

  Cruise down there.

• 1:16:58Speaker 05

  The Mexican Home Depot, Home Depot. Home Depot.

• 1:17:00Speaker 04

  Home Depot.

• 1:17:01Speaker 05

  Home Depot.

• 1:17:02Speaker 04

  Imagine how lucky they'd feel to be going to like a Home Depot in the outskirts of Mexico City and see a white boy standing there.

• 1:17:08Speaker 05

  A white guy with a Spider-Man backpack.

• 1:17:10Speaker 04

  Screeching the brakes there, stopping.

• 1:17:13Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:17:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, come on in.

• 1:17:15Speaker 05

  Yeah, you gotta do it.

• 1:17:23Speaker 05

  And I'm like, sure.

• 1:17:24Speaker 04

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 1:17:24Speaker 05

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 1:17:26Speaker 04

  You get made CEO of a company.

• 1:17:27Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:17:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:17:28Speaker 05

  Just do the Kenny Powers thing down there.

• 1:17:31Speaker 04

  But they wanna send the SEALs down there.

• 1:17:33Speaker 05

  They gotta send that guy that killed Bin Laden.

• 1:17:35Speaker 04

  They love, that guy, I know, and that guy's bullshit.

• 1:17:37Speaker 05

  That guy's.

• 1:17:38Speaker 04

  Cause his whole thing is, he's like, he did that and then retired. It's like, well, you, it seems like you leveled up. You should keep going.

• 1:17:44Speaker 05

  You just killed Osama Bin Laden, get to work. I won a war with Mexico so that like the veteran chic look, because you know, now it's like they have, they've imported.

• 1:17:52Speaker 04

  The Caffias.

• 1:17:52Speaker 05

  Instead of the Caffias, but we get like, they get the big pointy shoes and a sombrero.

• 1:17:57Speaker 04

  A giant oversized like.

• 1:17:59Speaker 05

  We get Tim Kennedy on Rogan and he's wearing a sombrero.

• 1:18:02Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:18:03Speaker 05

  And he's like, it's all about multivitamins.

• 1:18:05Speaker 04

  No, they would do ponchos. They would only do, that's like, that's the Mexican version of the cafe.

• 1:18:10Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's not as fun, yeah.

• 1:18:11Adam Friedland?

  It's not as fun.

• 1:18:12Speaker 04

  A band, I know, it's kind of a good look.

• 1:18:14Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, mariachi look would be fire.

• 1:18:16Speaker 04

  But I'm like, what are you guys gonna go down and just like rappel down into a village and just like, shoot thirty Mexican fifteen year olds?

• 1:18:23Adam Friedland?

  Finish the job, finish the job.

• 1:18:25Speaker 05

  You said yourself, it's legal.

• 1:18:26Speaker 04

  Well, it's, there's, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a cartel. Yeah, it's a cartel. Maybe I should just go down there.

• 1:18:30Speaker 05

  You should.

• 1:18:31Speaker 04

  I'm like, but I feel like if things go south for me here, my options are, and this is for you too.

• 1:18:36Adam Friedland?

  Israel.

• 1:18:37Speaker 04

  It's, well, that's always.

• 1:18:38Adam Friedland?

  That's my number one.

• 1:18:39Speaker 04

  That's always.

• 1:18:40Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:40Speaker 04

  But China, go to China and like work in something. They would need a white guy for something.

• 1:18:45Speaker 05

  No, if things go south for me here, I'm getting a job at Best Buy. And I would love it.

• 1:18:49Speaker 04

  You'd be great at that.

• 1:18:51Speaker 05

  I would, I would love to be, so you know, sometimes they have the special, like the guy that's a brand rep at Best Buy? If I could be the Sony television guy?

• 1:18:59Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:59Speaker 05

  Just the absolute rudest guy that works at Best Buy? No, no, they're never rude at all. I love talking, I caught one of them. They had one at the Union Square.

• 1:19:07Speaker 04

  What'd you catch him doing?

• 1:19:08Speaker 05

  And I was like, yeah, I got a, uh, I got a, uh, Z9D at home, which was the flagship television from 2016.

• 1:19:17Adam Friedland?

  I remember when you got it.

• 1:19:18Speaker 05

  Still one of the best, I had to wait two years.

• 1:19:19Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:20Speaker 05

  Did the price come down? It was seven thousand dollars MSRP.

• 1:19:22Speaker 04

  Jesus Christ.

• 1:19:23Speaker 05

  I got it for under two grand.

• 1:19:24Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 1:19:24Speaker 05

  Couple of years later, I had a camel, camel, camel alert. And I pulled the trigger on it. They have not made a better television since.

• 1:19:30Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 1:19:31Speaker 05

  Except maybe now with the Bravia 9.

• 1:19:34Adam Friedland?

  I have a Bravia.

• 1:19:35Speaker 04

  You recommended the Bravia 9?

• 1:19:36Speaker 05

  I'm, I, well, the Sony guy was like, he's like, even the Bravia 7 blows your piece of shit out of the water.

• 1:19:44Speaker 05

  He's like that aggressive about it. I was like, I don't know. He's like, yeah, but the viewing angles. Yeah.

• 1:19:50Speaker 04

  Bravia 9?

• 1:19:50Speaker 05

  I'm like, brother, I live in a fucking.

• 1:19:52Adam Friedland?

  What's it, nine thousand dollars?

• 1:19:53Speaker 04

  It's massive.

• 1:19:55Speaker 05

  Well, they come in different sizes.

• 1:19:56Speaker 04

  Okay, you're right. No, that was like a.

• 1:19:58Speaker 05

  But, um, no, it's actually.

• 1:20:00Speaker 04

  That's two thousand dollars, it says right here.

• 1:20:01Speaker 05

  By the pricing of the like top tier Sony televisions. The eighty-five inch Z9D was a hundred thousand dollars.

• 1:20:08Speaker 04

  The picture is amazing.

• 1:20:10Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:20:11Speaker 04

  The picture is crystal clear and it works very well in brightly lit areas. That's pretty good.

• 1:20:17Speaker 04

  Picture is amazing. I love the picture and immaculate sound quality of the television. Very well executed. It's possibly the OLED killer.

• 1:20:25Speaker 05

  It is the OLED killer.

• 1:20:26Speaker 04

  What is OLED?

• 1:20:27Speaker 05

  OLED is organic light emitting diode, I think.

• 1:20:31Speaker 04

  Organic light emitting diode?

• 1:20:33Adam Friedland?

  You've been in my house.

• 1:20:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:20:35Adam Friedland?

  Yeah. You didn't say anything, but yeah. I have an OLED 65.

• 1:20:39Speaker 04

  Yeah, but we don't have the TV on.

• 1:20:41Adam Friedland?

  What?

• 1:20:42Speaker 04

  We don't have the TV on.

• 1:20:43Adam Friedland?

  We were watching the big game.

• 1:20:44Speaker 04

  We don't watch the game.

• 1:20:44Adam Friedland?

  Don't say Super Bowl. Don't say Super Bowl.

• 1:20:46Speaker 04

  We fuck. When I go to your house, we fuck.

• 1:20:49Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, but I watch.

• 1:20:49Speaker 04

  We have fucking sex with each other.

• 1:20:53Speaker 05

  You know what I love doing? Having fucking sex.

• 1:20:55Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, what are you talking about? We have the TV on.

• 1:20:59Adam Friedland?

  Babe, we're working!

• 1:21:00Speaker 05

  I love having fucking sex.

• 1:21:02Speaker 04

  That's crazy. We get down to business when I get over that house. And we just take our shit off and we fuck on the bed.

• 1:21:11Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:11Speaker 05

  That's that song, "Let's get down, let's get down to business."

• 1:21:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, exactly.

• 1:21:15Speaker 05

  Having sex with the guy.

• 1:21:16Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, with your boy.

• 1:21:17Speaker 04

  There's no greater feeling on this planet.

• 1:21:19Speaker 05

  Let's get down to the brass tacks here.

• 1:21:21Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, yeah. It must feel like seeing Wicked when your girlfriend wants to see it just with your boy.

• 1:21:27Speaker 04

  Because imagine how jealous your girlfriend is if you saw Wicked with your boy.

• 1:21:30Speaker 05

  You just walk in the door laughing, there's cum dripping off your face.

• 1:21:33Speaker 04

  But imagine how much more jealous she'd be. Like, "Yeah, we saw Wicked and then you know what we did? We went and fucked." Me and the guys went and saw Wicked and we all fucked each other.

• 1:21:41Adam Friedland?

  You know what she would say? You know what she would say? "You saw Wicked without me."

• 1:21:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, "You saw Wicked without me."

• 1:21:46Adam Friedland?

  That would be the first order of business.

• 1:21:48Speaker 04

  Did they finish?

• 1:21:50Adam Friedland?

  "You saw Wicked without me."

• 1:21:51Speaker 04

  "You saw Wicked without me."

• 1:21:51Adam Friedland?

  You knew I wanted to see it.

• 1:21:53Speaker 04

  We fucked. We fucked in the theater.

• 1:21:55Adam Friedland?

  Also, we're gay!

• 1:21:56Speaker 04

  We got kicked out of Alamo Drafthouse. We were in there in the bed.

• 1:21:59Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, we did it loud style.

• 1:22:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, we were talking too loud.

• 1:22:02Adam Friedland?

  And we were wearing durags!

• 1:22:04Speaker 04

  We were fucking and sagging in the Alamo Drafthouse!

• 1:22:07Adam Friedland?

  Yes, and I did keep my shoes on.

• 1:22:09Speaker 04

  And I put a little bit of his cum on the spicy chicken sandwich that they gave me.

• 1:22:13Speaker 05

  Dude, that's the other thing too. Their food sucks.

• 1:22:15Speaker 04

  The food is disgusting!

• 1:22:17Adam Friedland?

  It's a word.

• 1:22:18Speaker 04

  It's just, and they just cause they give it to you on a plate.

• 1:22:20Adam Friedland?

  I got a stomach ache.

• 1:22:21Speaker 04

  AMC shit, but they're like, oh, it's called like the like the Quentin Tarantino burger.

• 1:22:25Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, it's called the Royale with cheese.

• 1:22:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, exactly. No.

• 1:22:29Adam Friedland?

  Grow up.

• 1:22:30Speaker 04

  Grow up. Eat. You know what you do? You do what I did. You bring food in the theater and you eat it out of your fucking parking.

• 1:22:37Adam Friedland?

  Yeah, yeah, I, that's how I do it.

• 1:22:38Speaker 04

  You bring a bibimbap in there.

• 1:22:40Adam Friedland?

  I bring.

• 1:22:41Speaker 04

  You just fucking, you spoon it in. You spoon the bibimbap in your mouth. You be, let's someone sit next to you.

• 1:22:48Adam Friedland?

  I bring, you know what I bring in? I bring in a fucking sizzling fajita plate.

• 1:22:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:22:53Adam Friedland?

  I'm cooking in there.

• 1:22:54Speaker 04

  Cooking in there. And then when I'm full, oh, nothing.

• 1:22:57Adam Friedland?

  I'm bringing a fucking George Foreman in here.

• 1:22:59Speaker 04

  We're watching Wicked and now I'm full and I'm gonna fuck my male friends I came here with.

• 1:23:04Adam Friedland?

  Go back to Austin. You're not waking without me.

• 1:23:08Speaker 05

  Love the draft house. I know, it's more.

• 1:23:11Adam Friedland?

  Fuck them.

• 1:23:11Speaker 05

  No.

• 1:23:12Speaker 04

  No, fuck that place.

• 1:23:13Adam Friedland?

  Fuck that place.

• 1:23:14Speaker 04

  They should have a, they should have a theater with no rules.

• 1:23:16Adam Friedland?

  Mm-hmm. They close them all down.

• 1:23:19Speaker 04

  I know, they close them all down.

• 1:23:20Adam Friedland?

  I don't wanna say it, but they are typically in the inner city.

• 1:23:24Speaker 05

  Tipping waiters at the draft house.

• 1:23:25Speaker 04

  Crazy.

• 1:23:26Speaker 05

  And it's because it's like you want them to go get another job.

• 1:23:29Speaker 04

  Yeah. I trip the waiters at the draft house.

• 1:23:31Speaker 05

  Go get it. Go be a waiter.

• 1:23:32Speaker 04

  They're running around down there.

• 1:23:33Speaker 05

  I'll tip you when you're at Ruby Tuesday.

• 1:23:35Adam Friedland?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:23:35Speaker 05

  Not here.

• 1:23:36Adam Friedland?

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 1:23:38Speaker 04

  I do have a friend who's a waiter at the Alamo Draft House.

• 1:23:40Speaker 05

  Oh, really?

• 1:23:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, and it seems like a miserable job.

• 1:23:42Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:23:43Speaker 04

  You have to tip them. I don't go.

• 1:23:44Speaker 05

  If I were my friend, I would be like poisoning them here and there.

• 1:23:47Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:47Speaker 04

  I mean, I teach you just running, you're hunched. And my, cause it's like being a normal waiter, except you're hunched and you're running.

• 1:23:53Adam Friedland?

  In front of someone's movie.

• 1:23:54Speaker 04

  And in front of.

• 1:23:54Adam Friedland?

  We're not allowed to talk to some.

• 1:23:55Speaker 04

  The Rise of Skywalker is playing.

• 1:23:58Adam Friedland?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:23:59Speaker 04

  It's ridiculous.

• 1:24:01Speaker 05

  And which one is your friend that we're, I feel like it's all like low IQ men.

• 1:24:05Adam Friedland?

  This is a friend of Down syndrome.

• 1:24:07Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's my frie- it's my friend with Down syndrome.

• 1:24:10Speaker 05

  Oh, okay.

• 1:24:11Speaker 04

  No, it's my regular friend.

• 1:24:12Speaker 05

  Every waiter I've had.

• 1:24:13Adam Friedland?

  What do you mean regular?

• 1:24:13Speaker 05

  Draft house.

• 1:24:14Speaker 04

  It's reg- he's regular.

• 1:24:15Adam Friedland?

  Oh, he's white?

• 1:24:17Speaker 05

  Have you been here before?

• 1:24:20Speaker 04

  Have you been?

• 1:24:21Speaker 05

  They go, have you been here before? And you're like, yes. You're like, okay, so you write your order down on the car?

• 1:24:25Adam Friedland?

  I fucking know.

• 1:24:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, exactly.

• 1:24:27Speaker 05

  Why did you ask me?

• 1:24:28Speaker 04

  What do you, you have a pencil at the movie theater. What do you think I'm like, I can put two and two together. Just, I just fucking wanna watch Wicked.

• 1:24:37Adam Friedland?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:24:37Speaker 04

  Wicked.

• 1:24:38Adam Friedland?

  I want a bell to ring.

• 1:24:41Speaker 04

  I bring one. I bring a blue bell to every restaurant, fucking movie theater I go to.

• 1:24:45Adam Friedland?

  Like a lobby of a hotel.

• 1:24:46Speaker 04

  Waiters attention. That's, cause that's how you get service. Yeah.

• 1:24:50Adam Friedland?

  I use a, I use a laser pointer and I aim them in the eye.

• 1:24:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's, that's, that's how you do it. God, what a tool. I can't believe we don't have those.

• 1:24:57Adam Friedland?

  I do that everywhere I go. I go. Retail employee.

• 1:25:02Speaker 05

  I point at the penis.

• 1:25:03Adam Friedland?

  Excuse me, sir.

• 1:25:04Speaker 05

  Right in their eyeball.

• 1:25:06Speaker 04

  The good thing is too.

• 1:25:07Speaker 05

  Excuse me, sir.

• 1:25:08Speaker 04

  If the waiter's, if the waiter's across the restaurant.

• 1:25:11Speaker 05

  Yo!

• 1:25:12Speaker 04

  You beam him with that.

• 1:25:13Speaker 05

  Excuse me, sir.

• 1:25:14Speaker 04

  And you lead him with a trail on the ground.

• 1:25:16Speaker 05

  It's pointing right at his penis?

• 1:25:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:25:20Speaker 05

  Sexually harassing him?

• 1:25:20Adam Friedland?

  Excuse me, sir.

• 1:25:22Speaker 05

  Right in their eyeball.

• 1:25:23Speaker 04

  I do it on, I do it on the fucking screen, too.

• 1:25:26Adam Friedland?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:26Speaker 04

  I like to go, I like to go to the movies.

• 1:25:28Adam Friedland?

  Mm-hmm. Yeah, but not, not, you know.

• 1:25:30Speaker 04

  I haven't been to the movies in like six months. I don't even say.

• 1:25:32Adam Friedland?

  I saw Enora. I thought it was.

• 1:25:35Speaker 05

  Adam hated it.

• 1:25:36Speaker 04

  You go, Snora, you think?

• 1:25:37Adam Friedland?

  Well, I, I, first of all, it was an hour too long, but then, second of all, I completely misunderstood the ending, apparently, according to everyone.

• 1:25:43Speaker 04

  What do you mean?

• 1:25:44Adam Friedland?

  Well, the end, she fucks and I thought she busts. And then she starts crying, but everyone I've talked to said that she, on the car ride home, I was like, clearly she busted and then started crying. And my girlfriend's like, what did you see? And then I'm like, guys, get a load of this. My girlfriend didn't think she busted. And everyone was like, what are you talking?

• 1:26:02Speaker 04

  You mean, she orgasmed?

• 1:26:04Adam Friedland?

  She does like a jerk, like this, like she's having an orgasm. No, I thought she did like the cumming thing.

• 1:26:11Speaker 04

  That's not what women do.

• 1:26:13Adam Friedland?

  Typically, they're foaming from the mouth.

• 1:26:14Speaker 04

  No, women, women, from what I understand.

• 1:26:16Speaker 05

  You're overtopping them with the laser pointer.

• 1:26:18Speaker 04

  Yeah. When women orgasm, they just say, hey, like, let's take a break real quick and then they go in the other room.

• 1:26:23Speaker 05

  Do you know, do you know years ago I was charged with rape at Laser Point?

• 1:26:31Speaker 05

  Charged with the crime of raping a laser pointer. Who knew? Yeah. Who knew? I didn't know that. Where is that in the rulebook? String of crimes. At the Alamo. I mean, multiple women being raped at laser pointer. At the Alamo Drafthouse. Just holding it like this. In their eye. What did it look like? It's like, I don't know.

• 1:26:56Speaker 05

  I can't. I can't see it. It's all spots. It's all just a big. It's a big spot. All right, thanks a lot, guys.

• 1:27:06Speaker 02

  LinkedIn is pretty amazing at helping you grow your small business. We cannot stop your new clients from emailing you at 3 a.m.

• 1:27:15Speaker 02

  We can help you sell, market, and hire in one place. We cannot help you be in three places at once. And while we can't help you organize your calendar, LinkedIn can help you land more clients so you have a calendar to organize. Grow your small business on LinkedIn. Learn more at LinkedIn.com/smallbusiness.

• 1:27:36Speaker 00

  Now streaming on Paramount Plus.

• 1:27:39Adam Friedland?

  I'm Dexter Morgan. I've been killing killers for half my life. It gets to you. You're having a midlife crisis. I'm not ready for this.

• 1:27:47Speaker 00

  He's back.

• 1:27:48Adam Friedland?

  I'm older. I'm wiser.

• 1:27:52Speaker 00

  And sharper than ever.

• 1:27:53Adam Friedland?

  Things are gonna get messy. But if I can't believe in myself, I can't believe in anything.

• 1:28:00Speaker 00

  Dexter Resurrection. New season now streaming on the Paramount Plus Premium Plan.