Pod Insights Table Manners with Jessie and Lennie Ware Alan Carr & Amanda Holden About this episode This week, we’re joined by the ultimate dream duo Alan Carr and Amanda Holden! It’s Alan’s second time joining us on Table Manners and since we last saw him, he’s become a winning Traitor and has just released the third season of his sitcom, Changing Ends. He’s joined by his work wife Amanda, who is celebrating her 20th anniversary as a judge on Britain’s Got Talent and is one of the leading voices on Heart Breakfast. Over lunch, we drank lots of wine and enjoyed Ixta Belfrage’s delicious Celebration Salmon while chatting about Amanda & Alan’s Greek Job, the best clubs to party in Corfu, Alan attending a lesbian festival, getting the inside scoop on both The Traitors and Britain’s Got Talent and of course, a lot of innuendos! Watch the full season of Amanda & Alan’s Greek Job on BBC iPlayer now Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript 12,093 words · 7 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
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1:36 Jessie Ware? Hello and welcome to Table manners. I'm Jessie Ware and I'm here with Lenny looking rested.
1:40 Speaker 04 Rested would be a very odd thing for me to look, to be honest.
1:44 Jessie Ware? Straight in from California, A.
1:46 Speaker 04 Someone's head just popped round the mirror, the window.
1:49 Jessie Ware? Oh, it's Sam.
1:50 Speaker 04 Okay, okay.
1:51 Jessie Ware? Yes, Sam, who's just come back from the hospital.
1:53 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:53 Jessie Ware? Who's just told me he's got a slight fracture.
1:57 Speaker 04 That's been there since?
1:58 Jessie Ware? From an injury since he was on a paddleboard in Greece in August. So this is a lesson to everyone to just do less.
2:06 Speaker 04 He's a trooper.
2:08 Jessie Ware? He's an idiot. Um, anyway, you've come from, back from LA.
2:13 Speaker 04 Yeah.
2:13 Jessie Ware? I've just come back from Lanzarote.
2:15 Speaker 04 Yeah.
2:16 Jessie Ware? Which was really fab. Could have done with it a little warmer.
2:20 Speaker 04 I could have done with no rain.
2:21 Jessie Ware? Ah.
2:22 Speaker 04 It rained for 10 days.
2:23 Jessie Ware? Oh dear.
2:24 Speaker 04 Yeah.
2:24 Jessie Ware? Well, I ate amazingly. I think anyone who's thinking about going to Lanzarote, you should absolutely go. The wineries.
2:31 Speaker 04 Little potatoes.
2:32 Jessie Ware? Yeah, they weren't wrinkly enough for me this time.
2:34 Speaker 04 I'll do it for you, darling.
2:34 Jessie Ware? But I had the most gorgeous time, like going to all the spots with the kids, Famara. Tried to pretend that I was in an Almodovar film. Saw a volcano, the fire brigade had to come up Tim and fire the volcano because when they did the demonstrations with like the hay to show that it's, you know, active.
2:55 Speaker 04 Yeah.
2:55 Jessie Ware? They went too like hay heavy and so there was just smoke. So the fire brigade had to come. Um, what else? We lava chicken they do there, which was fab for all the kids that like Minecraft. So that was good.
3:07 Speaker 04 Besides having Cosmos at Sunset Tower, which is my favourite place on earth. On New Year's Day, we were lucky enough that Phil Rosenthal organised us a place in his new diner.
3:19 Jessie Ware? Who is, you know, it's, it's him and Nancy Silverton, both guests on the podcast. They have this new hot diner, Max and Helen's.
3:27 Speaker 04 Max, that's his parents.
3:29 Jessie Ware? Yeah.
3:29 Speaker 04 The mugs have a picture of his mum and dad in their wedding outfit. There's lots of photos. And it was delicious diner food. I had Leo eggs.
3:39 Jessie Ware? What are they? Leonardo DiCaprio?
3:40 Speaker 04 No, apparently it's a classic dish, which I'd never heard of. It's gravadlax with scallions, which are spring onions and eggs and they scramble it all together. But the big thing there is their waffle with maple butter.
3:57 Jessie Ware? Did you get it?
3:57 Speaker 04 Yeah, for the table. I thought about you, Jessie. We had one for the table. No, it was all very delicious and fun and very nice atmosphere. I also went to a lovely restaurant called Little Fish, where I think I had the nicest piece of fish I've ever, steelhead trout with cod's roe, which were like little balls that burst in your mouth with a kind of salsa on the top.
4:21 Jessie Ware? Well, speaking of fish, I am on food duty today and I've decided to return. To Easter belfry, because she can do no wrong in my eyes. So I'm trying out her Celebration Salmon, which is from her book Mezcla. And so it's the book before Fuzio. So Celebration Salmon, which you do on a really low heat. You make this kind of salsa, which is very Easter. It's got lemon grass, chilies, tomatoes, peppercorns, ginger, garlic, all the delicious things, lime juice. And then you put a lot of olive oil. So you kind of confit the salmon and do it really low and slow.
4:57 Speaker 04 Have you put it in?
4:58 Jessie Ware? Yes.
4:59 Speaker 04 Okay.
4:59 Jessie Ware? And you cook it for like forty five minutes, but low, and it should be really pink. But I know you're not going to want it pink.
5:05 Speaker 04 I don't mind.
5:05 Jessie Ware? Are you really?
5:06 Speaker 04 Yeah.
5:07 Jessie Ware? And then I'm doing it with her sticky coconut rice. And then I've done it with this cucumber salad that she tells you to do it with. So very delicious, lots of flavours, delish, zingy. And then I've done our no churn cappuccino ice cream with Ferrero Rocher from our book. Because.
5:26 Speaker 04 It's a good recipe.
5:28 Jessie Ware? It's so easy.
5:29 Speaker 04 Yep.
5:30 Jessie Ware? And delish.
5:32 Speaker 04 Yeah.
5:32 Jessie Ware? And well, I hope it's delicious, but I need to be reminded to take it out of the freezer.
5:37 Speaker 04 Otherwise you'll never.
5:38 Jessie Ware? Otherwise you'll never get through.
5:39 Speaker 04 Yeah.
5:40 Jessie Ware? So that's that. And it's so quick. It's like cream, some instant coffee granules, condensed milk.
5:47 Speaker 04 Yeah.
5:48 Jessie Ware? It's quite nice. And so that's what we're having. And do you want to introduce who we've got on the podcast today?
5:53 Speaker 04 We've got a double act.
5:54 Jessie Ware? Mmm.
5:55 Speaker 04 It's like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. They're a classic double act. And it's Alan Carr and Amanda Holden. Do you think she's going to come in an evening dress?
6:04 Jessie Ware? No, she's coming from heart.
6:06 Speaker 04 I know.
6:06 Jessie Ware? Radio, isn't she?
6:07 Speaker 04 She does press.
6:08 Jessie Ware? Because she does the breakfast radio.
6:08 Speaker 04 She's such a dresser though, isn't she?
6:10 Jessie Ware? She makes the effort.
6:11 Speaker 04 Really makes the effort.
6:12 Jessie Ware? In the, actually, in the show, she says that she wants on her tombstone, never knowingly understated. And Alan said, isn't that like the Tesco?
6:24 Speaker 04 It's John Lewis.
6:25 Jessie Ware? John Lewis.
6:25 Speaker 04 Never known, never known the undersold.
6:27 Jessie Ware? And it did make me laugh. They have so much fun together and they're doing one of their house makeovers.
6:32 Speaker 04 In Corfu?
6:33 Jessie Ware? In Corfu, which is where Alan and I filmed a TV show together. And I know Amanda goes there every summer. So I think they've probably had the best summer ever. And the house was looking fab. I've watched about five episodes.
6:44 Speaker 04 How much did they buy the house for?
6:45 Jessie Ware? I don't think it was a one euro jobbie. Otherwise I'm gonna go and do that.
6:49 Speaker 04 Yeah, I think we should.
6:51 Jessie Ware? So we'll be talking to Amanda and Alan about real estate in Europe and also of course, Traitors, Heart FM. I loved when Amanda asked Timothy Chalamet what he'd got Kylie for Christmas. She just says it, doesn't she?
7:07 Speaker 04 What's it?
7:08 Jessie Ware? He didn't actually have her anything yet, I don't think. Amanda Holden and Alan Carr coming off on table manners.
7:21 Jessie Ware? Alan and Amanda, welcome. We've been waiting for this.
7:25 Speaker 05 Yes, we have. I'm starving.
7:26 Jessie Ware? Okay, good, because it's ready. I mean, Alan, you know, you're talked about as one of our favourite guests ever when we had the best time of our lives with you. It's about time that you're back.
7:36 Speaker 04 Well, you're my favourite, not Jessie's.
7:38 Speaker 06 Oh, it's your favourite?
7:40 Speaker 04 Of course you are.
7:42 Speaker 06 Wow, wow.
7:43 Speaker 04 It's me that always says it. Jessie always says, I know who she's gonna say, Alan.
7:48 Jessie Ware? Oh.
7:48 Speaker 06 Well, we had, there was a chemistry between us.
7:51 Speaker 04 There was, there was.
7:52 Speaker 06 There was a spark.
7:53 Jessie Ware? There were five bottles of wine.
7:54 Speaker 05 I was gonna say a chemistry in some vino.
7:56 Speaker 06 Yeah, there was.
7:57 Speaker 04 For sure.
7:58 Speaker 06 But you know what she said? And she, I remember she made a lemon curd cake. You know, inside I was like.
8:03 Speaker 05 Is that a euphemism?
8:05 Speaker 06 And I was like, lemon curd, you know, you being polite. It was delicious.
8:10 Jessie Ware? It was a roulade, wasn't it?
8:11 Speaker 04 It's my lemon curd roulade.
8:13 Speaker 06 Yeah, I was like dreading it.
8:14 Speaker 04 Did you not?
8:15 Speaker 06 Dreading it.
8:15 Speaker 04 Roll a meringue.
8:17 Speaker 06 I was dreading it.
8:18 Speaker 04 It just got to be brave.
8:19 Jessie Ware? But Amanda, we have been really excited about having you. And obviously, we watch you on the screens together.
8:24 Speaker 04 Yes.
8:26 Jessie Ware? And, you know, you're fabulous.
8:28 Speaker 04 But Jessie, isn't she gorgeous?
8:30 Jessie Ware? Yes.
8:31 Speaker 06 And she comes straight on a motorbike today as well. You look a bit like a headrest.
8:37 Speaker 04 How dare you?
8:39 Speaker 05 Do I smell fishy because it's only pleather?
8:42 Jessie Ware? Oh, sometimes it does.
8:43 Speaker 05 Cheap leather, you go. What's pleather? Oh, it's faux leather. But if you get a cheap one, you can smell a bit.
8:50 Jessie Ware? Bit fishy.
8:50 Speaker 05 Fishy.
8:51 Jessie Ware? Oh, it looks great.
8:52 Speaker 05 You don't smell fishy. Do I worry?
8:54 Jessie Ware? We're having fish, so.
8:56 Speaker 05 That's good, it will mask it. It will mask the smell, Alan.
9:00 Jessie Ware? Now, I do have to say, before, well, before we started recording, Amanda came with a massive box of goodies and was very instructive on what was going to happen with the boxes. And you know, I've seen this go on in, on, on the TV show too.
9:16 Speaker 06 Yeah, yeah, yes.
9:17 Jessie Ware? Do as you're told.
9:18 Speaker 05 She would have made a whole lot to put the champagne that was in the box.
9:21 Jessie Ware? Well, you did, the best thing that you've said was, you got us the most delicious champagne called the Ruinart.
9:27 Speaker 05 It's Ruinart.
9:28 Jessie Ware? Delicious, which is your favourite. So you brought two bottles, thank you so much.
9:32 Speaker 05 And for you and your mum.
9:33 Jessie Ware? Yeah, and you said for us to drink, which we're very excited about. And then you brought out a Pinot Noir. And I think you thought I was about to put it in my cellar.
9:41 Speaker 05 You said that because you kept saying, thank you, thank you. And I went, no, it's. We're having it now.
9:47 Jessie Ware? Everyone, we're having two bottles, maybe three today.
9:51 Speaker 05 Four days of not drinking and that's a big deal for me. Oh, yeah, Dry January. I don't know. I call it's try. Dry January.
9:58 Speaker 06 Oh, yes.
9:58 Speaker 05 It's gone, it's gone out the window now.
10:00 Speaker 06 Quite damp, your Dry Jan, isn't it? I think Dry Jan would be a great, great name, wouldn't it, Dry Jan? Wouldn't it be a great name?
10:08 Speaker 05 You wouldn't get any booking.
10:09 Speaker 06 No.
10:09 Speaker 05 Yeah.
10:10 Speaker 06 But you know what people say, they say to it, oh, are you and Amanda really friends? But we are, aren't we?
10:15 Jessie Ware? We are.
10:16 Speaker 06 We couldn't, you couldn't do that show.
10:18 Jessie Ware? No.
10:19 Speaker 06 Even if you just liked someone, you couldn't do it because it's 40 degrees and you've been to Corfu, we've been to Corfu actually.
10:26 Speaker 05 Boiling hot.
10:27 Speaker 06 We've all got something in common.
10:28 Jessie Ware? Pissed out with rain with us.
10:29 Speaker 05 I know, you were really unlucky.
10:31 Jessie Ware? But I loved it.
10:31 Speaker 05 You filmed in exactly the same area that we were filming in.
10:34 Jessie Ware? Cassiopeia.
10:35 Speaker 05 Cassiopeia, yeah. And it was boiling hot. And if you thought that was hot, then you have to try and like lay a gravel path and build a thing. And we're forever saying.
10:44 Jessie Ware? And you did that.
10:45 Speaker 05 Oh my God, look, we've got some builders, can they do something? And they're like, no.
10:48 Speaker 04 You have to do it. And everyone always says that to us as well.
10:51 Jessie Ware? You did look pretty hot when you were doing the bunk bed with the drill and you were like that, legs akimbo.
10:56 Speaker 06 But you had that Greek machismo and they thought she was a lady. They underestimated Amanda. They were like, hey pretty lady, I take that.
11:04 Speaker 04 They are, they are slightly, um, think men do everything.
11:09 Speaker 05 They do. They're not, it's not like they're chauvinist. It's that they're very traditional.
11:13 Speaker 04 Traditional, yeah.
11:14 Speaker 05 Because I love them.
11:15 Speaker 06 Well, listen, I wish some man had come up to me and say, don't leave, don't move that paving slab.
11:20 Speaker 05 Well, you couldn't move it.
11:21 Speaker 06 I couldn't. I was.
11:22 Speaker 05 No. She, Alan couldn't move the paving slab, bless him. But anyway, that's another story.
11:27 Speaker 04 It is very kind of traditional, you're right.
11:30 Speaker 05 They're a traditional breed. I mean, I'd be happy for someone to do that in this country. I don't even get out with a shopping outfit. I did the food shop yesterday. I had to ring my husband to come out of his office to come out of the food shop.
11:40 Speaker 04 You should leave him and move in with me.
11:42 Speaker 05 That's not what will happen in the end, but Chris will be probably dead.
11:47 Speaker 05 I would never leave him, I love him. So, but then I would live with Alan.
11:51 Speaker 06 Yes.
11:51 Speaker 05 Yeah.
11:51 Speaker 06 We've already got a plan set here.
11:53 Jessie Ware? Where, which, which, um, which country would you live in?
11:57 Speaker 06 It'd be Kofu, wouldn't it? We love Kofu. We actually holidayed in Kofu together.
12:01 Speaker 05 Yeah, we did.
12:02 Speaker 06 We, we love it.
12:03 Jessie Ware? So you, when, you and I did our, um, Mamma Mia TV show and.
12:07 Speaker 06 And it was so funny because you mentioned the rain then and it was all open air and for the, you know, it's not meant to rain in Kofu in July. And you know what the producers were like, just ignore the rain, pretend the rain's not there and the rain looks, and I'm going, and I, I think, I, I, I loved the performance.
12:24 Speaker 05 You need little windscreen wipers on your glasses.
12:26 Speaker 04 But didn't you have hot water bottles under, at your seats?
12:30 Jessie Ware? Amber, you did like, she was like, come from, she'd come from LA and she was like, what the fuck is this shit? No, it was amazing, but I remember you saying that you'd already been there with Amanda.
12:38 Speaker 06 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
12:39 Jessie Ware? And we were going to some of the spots that Amanda likes to eat in.
12:43 Speaker 05 Which is all of them.
12:44 Jessie Ware? Yeah, but they're amazing.
12:45 Speaker 05 It's terrible. I, yeah, I'm known for my drinking and eating everywhere.
12:50 Jessie Ware? That's great.
12:50 Speaker 05 But it's good. That's the thing I love about Kofu is because I, I never thought I'd be that person that went back to the same place every year on holiday. But I go there because I've got kids, like six. She is between them. They both love it.
13:00 Speaker 04 And they know it.
13:01 Speaker 05 They know it. And I can walk into a restaurant and know I'm gonna get good food. Great. I don't have to, I don't have to worry.
13:07 Speaker 06 And I've said this before, when I, I, when in the early days of our friendship, I didn't know how popular, you know, Kofu was for you and all the people.
13:16 Speaker 05 I was gonna say I was.
13:17 Speaker 06 No. But when you go in the, but when you go in all the tavernas, there's a statue of the Virgin Mary and her in a bikini.
13:29 Speaker 06 It's like, and then I went there, you know Amanda, you know, when we were filming, people would come over, you know Amanda, Amanda, your friend. Like this, yes, yes.
13:37 Speaker 05 Your very strength is completely reversed now. I can't go anywhere without talk, everyone talking to me about traitors. Yeah.
13:42 Speaker 04 I know.
13:43 Speaker 05 You should show them what I just got you.
13:45 Speaker 06 Oh, it's in your handbag.
13:46 Speaker 05 In your handbag. I just, it's a real, it's not expensive, so it might be terrible, but I just bought Alan.
13:53 Speaker 06 Do you know what someone got me for Christmas? The Traitors Board Game. I mean, that, come on, please. It was so triggering. It was so triggering. Yeah.
14:00 Speaker 05 Look at that.
14:00 Speaker 04 Oh, wow.
14:02 Speaker 05 Corner bottle, white coat, traitor, but it was a really reasonable price.
14:05 Speaker 04 Is it your picture?
14:06 Speaker 06 No, that's for me. That's for the journey, that's for the journey, Hope.
14:12 Speaker 05 But they didn't give him his cloak. He had to go on Amazon like the rest of us. Wouldn't you?
14:18 Speaker 06 They wouldn't. I had to get.
14:19 Speaker 05 No, it's a little bit. I think the winner should get like a bespoke, heavy duty, well-made green cloak.
14:26 Speaker 06 Yeah, and I want the waxed in the thing and also want the portrait.
14:31 Speaker 05 What are you gonna do with an Alan Carr portrait?
14:33 Speaker 04 Absolutely. Where is that now? The portrait?
14:36 Speaker 06 I've asked, but they don't reply.
14:38 Speaker 05 No.
14:39 Speaker 04 Oh, God.
14:39 Speaker 05 One of the runners has got it up in their handbag.
14:40 Speaker 04 We'll have a word.
14:41 Speaker 05 Yeah. Well, hopefully this will highlight it, Alan.
14:45 Speaker 04 We'll have a word, Jessie.
14:46 Speaker 06 Yeah, I mean, come on, what are you gonna do with an Alan Carr waxed?
14:50 Speaker 05 Alan, you play, you played a blinder. Congratulations. It was brilliant.
14:54 Speaker 04 I mean, you were a national treasure before, but you are now absolutely adored.
14:59 Speaker 05 The crown jewel.
15:00 Speaker 04 You'd probably be knighted in the next birthday on.
15:03 Speaker 05 I think so. He's waiting on it.
15:05 Speaker 06 I know, I do enough for bloody charity.
15:10 Jessie Ware? But, but, in Cassiope in Corfu, he walked down the-
15:13 Speaker 05 I love that you call it Cassiope.
15:15 Jessie Ware? What is it?
15:16 Speaker 05 I don't know. I mean, I say Cassiope.
15:18 Jessie Ware? But maybe it is that.
15:19 Speaker 05 But I think Cassiope makes it sound posher.
15:21 Jessie Ware? No, I think oppa, oppi is oppi. I don't fucking know.
15:25 Speaker 06 But we've all got something in common, you know. We've all performed.
15:29 Jessie Ware? Well, I haven't. I missed out because I was doing LA Pride and you all had a big night out and I was gutted and you all went to Illusions.
15:37 Speaker 05 Yeah, Illusions is the best.
15:38 Jessie Ware? Well, tell everybody that doesn't know what Illusions is.
15:41 Speaker 05 Well, Illusions is one of those bars that sort of shows all the sports during the day and at night it turns into a karaoke bar where you've got props.
15:48 Speaker 04 Oh, it's my favourite.
15:49 Speaker 05 Everything. Well, it sort of goes from being-
15:51 Jessie Ware? Props?
15:52 Speaker 05 Yeah, I wore a pink, when I did, I didn't do it with you. I went with my family and wore pink wigs and all of that and obviously got blind drunk and lived my best life.
16:01 Jessie Ware? What did you say?
16:01 Speaker 04 What's your song?
16:03 Speaker 05 I always sing Abba. I always sing it. The only time I was ever jealous of you is when you did that Mamma Mia show because that's like my idea of absolute heaven in my favourite place.
16:12 Jessie Ware? It didn't get recommissioned.
16:13 Speaker 06 I know, but it was so good. Well, I cried. I cried when they said, I couldn't believe it. A month in Corfu, listening to amazing singers.
16:22 Jessie Ware? You have a joyful job.
16:24 Speaker 04 It was a beautiful job.
16:25 Speaker 05 They should just put it out again now.
16:27 Jessie Ware? I love this.
16:27 Speaker 04 But they've just moved to New York. It's opening on Broadway at the Abba Mamma Mia. So now they're going to have to recast it. So you could go over to-
16:36 Speaker 05 Alan?
16:36 Speaker 06 That would be amazing.
16:38 Speaker 05 Hawaii, Alan.
16:39 Speaker 06 Who's the producer woman? What's she called? She said, didn't she? Was you there?
16:43 Jessie Ware? You were gonna be in Three.
16:44 Speaker 06 Mamma Mia Three.
16:45 Speaker 05 You will be. I would say that's a guarantee you're gonna be in it.
16:48 Speaker 06 But not one of the dads because even I can't act that good. But, you know.
16:53 Speaker 05 Didn't you say a gay waiter?
16:54 Speaker 06 A gay waiter?
16:55 Speaker 05 Which would be a stretch.
16:58 Speaker 06 Listen, even if I go, hummus, Miss Streep, something like that.
17:02 Jessie Ware? I think you need to go hummus.
17:03 Speaker 06 Hummus.
17:05 Jessie Ware? And what was her character name?
17:09 Jessie Ware? Donna.
17:10 Speaker 06 Donna Rocco.
17:12 Jessie Ware? So she's dead now, isn't she?
17:14 Speaker 06 Never she dead.
17:16 Speaker 04 No, Jessie.
17:17 Speaker 06 Spoiler alert. I'm never gonna be in Mamma Mia Three now.
17:23 Speaker 06 Look at him back as the ghost of Meryl Streep.
17:25 Jessie Ware? Didn't Donna die in the second one?
17:27 Speaker 06 No. Yes, how is she, how are they gonna do that?
17:30 Speaker 05 They could do it as a ghost.
17:32 Speaker 06 It could be a ghost.
17:33 Jessie Ware? It'll be like, Abba Boya.
17:36 Speaker 06 Yes.
17:37 Speaker 05 My god, you could definitely recast a New York one. There's a show.
17:41 Speaker 06 That would be, well, we were thinking Les Mis, going to, um, Les Mis, sorry. Les Mis.
17:45 Speaker 05 Les Mis. That's because of that festival you're talking about.
17:50 Speaker 06 I'm going to a lesbian festival.
17:52 Speaker 05 You live in Mexico.
17:52 Speaker 06 I didn't read the small print. Was it called Les Mis? No, it's not called Les Mis.
17:59 Speaker 06 No, it's not called Les Mis. Because we don't live in the eighties, do we? It's called, uh, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.
18:07 Jessie Ware? Hold on, you're going to a festival in Mexico?
18:09 Speaker 06 Yeah, I, okay, my friend Rossi rings me up, you know Rossi. Alan, Alan.
18:13 Jessie Ware? Who's orgasmed every album of mine in one night, has he told me?
18:16 Speaker 06 Yes, yes, he makes love.
18:18 Jessie Ware? He told me, I was thrilled, in front of him.
18:21 Speaker 06 He said he makes love to her music. And lots of people say that.
18:24 Jessie Ware? Anyway, carry on, so you're going with Rossi?
18:27 Speaker 06 Yeah, and he said, do you want some, um, do you want some winter sun? I said, yes. He said, see Matt's playing, love.
18:32 Jessie Ware? Yes.
18:32 Speaker 06 Sam Smith, love. Randy Carles, I said, put me down, put me down. So he sent me some footage of it, I went, can't see many men in it. And it's a lesbian festival, and ninety-five percent lesbian, and they're non-binary friends.
18:47 Jessie Ware? Well.
18:48 Speaker 06 Yeah, and then I went, fuck, I didn't read the small print. But the headline, it, the title is Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.
18:53 Jessie Ware? Yeah.
18:54 Speaker 06 The clues were there.
18:55 Jessie Ware? You'll have fun with the girls.
18:56 Speaker 06 Of course I will.
18:57 Jessie Ware? You will, but you just may not find love.
18:59 Speaker 06 Are you gonna be allowed in, though?
19:01 Speaker 05 They'll let Alan in.
19:02 Speaker 06 Are you sure?
19:03 Speaker 05 Even in Mexico, he's a national treasure, what's makes it Spanish?
19:06 Speaker 06 Crater's cloak, crater's cloak and me lantern.
19:09 Speaker 05 Could you wear the red one?
19:10 Speaker 06 I am and always have been a lesbian.
19:19 Speaker 06 But I can't wait. What's of great music. We're gonna have fun. It's an all-inclusive.
19:24 Speaker 05 Oh lovely.
19:25 Speaker 06 Can't wait.
19:25 Speaker 05 Carnage.
19:26 Jessie Ware? Ready?
19:27 Speaker 06 Go for it. Oh god.
19:29 Speaker 04 Oh wow.
19:30 Speaker 05 Let me do mummy first.
19:32 Speaker 04 Thank you darling. When are you going to Tulum darling?
19:35 Speaker 06 Oh in a, oh next week.
19:36 Speaker 04 Oh wow.
19:37 Speaker 06 I can't wait.
19:38 Speaker 04 Thank you.
19:39 Speaker 06 It's gonna be so much fun.
19:40 Speaker 04 They do yoga on the beach Alan.
19:41 Speaker 06 Well I won't be doing that.
19:42 Speaker 04 And they run.
19:43 Speaker 05 You might wanna do a bit of downward dog. You never know Alan.
19:47 Speaker 06 Because you know on the show, Alan and Amanda's, she, behind my back, in a lovely way though, she put me on the apps, the gay apps. And you're a gay ally, but it was an eye-opener for you.
19:59 Speaker 05 I was in shock at some of those questions and nothing really shocks me.
20:03 Speaker 04 What do you mean gay apps?
20:05 Speaker 05 I was trying to.
20:05 Speaker 04 In England or Greece?
20:06 Speaker 06 In Greece, in Greece.
20:08 Speaker 05 It was so graphic.
20:10 Speaker 04 Oh like what?
20:12 Speaker 06 How, how, how big?
20:13 Speaker 05 I had to discuss all of that.
20:15 Speaker 06 How big downstairs?
20:16 Speaker 05 And I love Alan, but I actually.
20:17 Speaker 04 How big?
20:18 Speaker 05 I do know bits, but I don't know that much.
20:21 Speaker 04 But everyone's going to lie.
20:23 Speaker 05 Well.
20:24 Speaker 04 They're not gonna say.
20:25 Speaker 05 Pictures.
20:25 Speaker 04 Yeah, oh my.
20:26 Speaker 06 There was photos of it.
20:27 Speaker 05 I was like, it was eye-watering, just the thought of it Alan.
20:30 Speaker 06 And she was like, Alan are you a top, power top?
20:33 Speaker 05 I'm going bottom.
20:33 Speaker 06 Are you a top, Alan?
20:35 Speaker 05 Bottom.
20:35 Speaker 06 I thought, well this is BBC, I can't go into this. BBC. I said I'm hot pot.
20:41 Speaker 05 Exactly. Anything goes I think.
20:44 Speaker 06 You can stick anything in it.
20:46 Speaker 05 Like Betty from Correlation Street.
20:48 Speaker 06 You can stick anything in it.
20:52 Speaker 05 That's, was that like Betty's hot pot? Did she do that?
20:56 Speaker 04 That looks insane.
20:58 Jessie Ware? So it's Easter Belfry's Celebration Salmon and you kind of confit the salmon and you do like this delicious tomato, lemongrass, ginger, garlic, holy basil, delicious.
21:09 Speaker 04 Holy basil?
21:10 Jessie Ware? Yeah.
21:11 Speaker 05 What's holy basil?
21:12 Jessie Ware? Just high holy basil.
21:13 Speaker 04 Oh, I've never heard of it either darling.
21:15 Speaker 05 I thought maybe it was blessed basil.
21:16 Speaker 04 Cheers Jessie.
21:18 Jessie Ware? Cheers Lachan.
21:19 Speaker 05 Cheers darling.
21:20 Speaker 04 Happy New Year Lachan, Happy New Year to everyone, thank you.
21:24 Jessie Ware? Lovely to finally be here.
21:25 Speaker 04 It's great to have you.
21:27 Jessie Ware? Um, it's the best, it's the best champagne.
21:29 Speaker 04 It's the best.
21:30 Speaker 05 It's, I mean, let's put that back in the fridge, because we can't have it for one moment heating up, sorry to vouch.
21:36 Speaker 06 We've done our research, we've done our research on Cham. She's so bossy.
21:42 Speaker 05 But I think this champagne is actually good for you. I think it is good for you. I think the bubbles oxygenate your blood and make you look younger.
21:51 Speaker 06 Yes.
21:53 Speaker 06 I'm eighty-seven.
21:59 Jessie Ware? Mum, can you do this, please?
22:01 Speaker 05 Yeah, but she's.
22:01 Jessie Ware? You're gonna have an opinion on how I do it, so I just prefer you to do it, please.
22:05 Speaker 06 Ah.
22:07 Jessie Ware? Yeah, fine, great, done. So this is sticky rice, coconut sticky rice cake.
22:12 Speaker 05 Oh my god.
22:12 Jessie Ware? So like you have that with this.
22:15 Speaker 05 Oh no, you know, it's all.
22:17 Speaker 06 So do you a bit, you wanna square, love?
22:18 Speaker 05 Please, darling. Oh yes, take that.
22:21 Speaker 06 It smells so good.
22:23 Speaker 05 This smells and tastes so clean.
22:25 Speaker 06 I'm gonna try and eat more salads this year.
22:28 Speaker 05 Is that your, I don't believe in resolutions, I just don't believe in them. What is the thing that tastes perfumey in there? Is that the Easter buns? Lemongrass. Lemongrass? This is not, it's sort of like bubble bath.
22:41 Jessie Ware? Oh.
22:42 Speaker 05 It's so nice. No, in a nice way.
22:45 Jessie Ware? Really?
22:46 Speaker 05 I used to love bubble, eating it when I was a kid in the bath.
22:48 Jessie Ware? Did you like the violet, parma or whatever?
22:50 Speaker 05 Yeah, I love parma violet.
22:51 Jessie Ware? Parma violet.
22:51 Speaker 05 And I used to eat the bubbles from matey bubble bath. I used to just eat them when I was in the bath, do you know what I mean?
22:56 Speaker 06 No.
22:57 Jessie Ware? What's matey bubble bath?
22:59 Speaker 05 Tell her what. Matey, it had a little.
23:01 Speaker 06 It's like a sailor, it's like a.
23:02 Speaker 05 It had a sailor hat cap, didn't it? Oh yeah. And then the bottle, the bottle was like, dressed like a sailor. It was such a treat in the house.
23:11 Jessie Ware? Do you want some lime?
23:12 Speaker 06 Yeah, I'm having this in extra, haven't I?
23:14 Speaker 05 This is absolutely delicious.
23:16 Jessie Ware? Oh good. The salmon is really nice, right, because it's kind of, it's really slowly, anyway.
23:21 Speaker 05 So what time were you up this morning? I got up at five, which I don't think's early.
23:26 Jessie Ware? That's not so bad, that's kind of, you know, a Kardashian wake up.
23:29 Speaker 05 God, is it?
23:30 Jessie Ware? Yeah, they wake up.
23:30 Speaker 05 Do they do their faces in ice baths and things like that?
23:33 Jessie Ware? Ice bath, trainer.
23:34 Speaker 05 I sleep in my lash to knock off ten minutes, so these eyelashes have been on for about twelve years. Just kidding. No, I sleep like I'm in a coffin. You know my friend Jess now, so she, I used to, I have a friend Jess from Oldham, and I've shared a lot of beds with her in hotels, and she say, "You sleep like you're in a coffin." Because I don't move, so my eyelashes stay great, and then I just literally trowel it on and get in a car.
23:58 Jessie Ware? Do you do your makeup?
23:58 Speaker 05 Yes.
23:59 Jessie Ware? For the.
23:59 Speaker 05 For heart, breakfast, yes.
24:01 Jessie Ware? And then you get him.
24:04 Speaker 05 I get in.
24:05 Jessie Ware? Four.
24:06 Speaker 05 We're on air at six thirty.
24:08 Speaker 06 You get papped, I see that every day.
24:10 Speaker 05 Every day I get papped on the way out, we get videoed all day long like this.
24:13 Jessie Ware? Yeah.
24:14 Speaker 05 Because when I first got the gig, I was like, brilliant, I can go in my jammies and just be out of there by ten. That never happens.
24:20 Jessie Ware? So what did you have for breakfast this morning, Amanda?
24:23 Speaker 05 Well, so I'm speaking my mouth full.
24:26 Speaker 06 She loves a boiled egg.
24:28 Jessie Ware? Me too, I love.
24:29 Speaker 06 She loves a boiled egg.
24:31 Speaker 05 You say that. With salt, rolled in salt.
24:33 Jessie Ware? Mmm. Lots of pepper too.
24:35 Speaker 05 Oh my god.
24:36 Jessie Ware? So antisocial.
24:37 Speaker 05 I don't care. When you peel them, everyone thinks you've trumped.
24:41 Speaker 06 But she pops a spare one in her handbag, so when she opens it, you say, have you farted?
24:46 Speaker 05 Egg, anyone? I did that a lot. I used to take the eggs in Cool Food and Knife for snacks lately.
24:51 Speaker 06 Yeah.
24:51 Jessie Ware? Because you're trying to get your protein up? Or just because you love an egg?
24:54 Speaker 05 Just because I love an egg and I, yeah, no, because I'd have an egg and a queson.
25:00 Speaker 05 But this morning I had not much because I knew I was coming here.
25:03 Speaker 06 Yeah, I saved myself. I didn't, I didn't have anything.
25:07 Speaker 05 I wanted to save myself.
25:08 Jessie Ware? Neither did I.
25:09 Speaker 05 No, this is perfect.
25:10 Jessie Ware? No pressure. Now, I want to talk about your, you know, your singing career. You've also been up for an Olivier, haven't you?
25:17 Speaker 05 Yes. Oh, I love you for remembering all these things.
25:20 Jessie Ware? When are we gonna like hear you singing? We were actually, we were actually meant to be label buddies. We were on the same label.
25:26 Speaker 05 Oh my gosh.
25:27 Jessie Ware? Yeah. So you, you did, you did an album?
25:30 Speaker 05 I did an album in lockdown.
25:31 Jessie Ware? Yeah.
25:32 Speaker 05 Which did really well. And I always say, my husband will kill me for this because he will say, just own the fact that it did well. But I always say it did well because everyone was in lockdown, there was no choices.
25:42 Jessie Ware? They sort of enforced it, love it.
25:44 Speaker 05 Amanda, listen, my album did really well in lockdown too.
25:48 Jessie Ware? Shush, no it didn't.
25:50 Speaker 05 Well then, what's the phenomenon about lockdown? Because everyone was listening to everything anyway.
25:55 Speaker 06 I released an album, no one fucking bought it.
25:58 Speaker 04 Can I ask a burning question? You two aren't going to present strictly together.
26:02 Speaker 06 No, we said no ages ago.
26:06 Jessie Ware? It's him busy baby. Okay, when Chatty Man comes?
26:09 Speaker 06 Oh, everyone, that was another clickbait thing during traitors.
26:14 Jessie Ware? But why don't we just bring it back? It was so fantastic.
26:17 Speaker 05 It's the best and he was the best. You need your chat show back.
26:21 Speaker 06 A chat show? It'd be nice to do a chat show. Yeah, I don't know, I don't know. But yeah, I read them and all Chatty Man's got, but no one's approached me or anything.
26:29 Speaker 04 So what would you love to do? Now you are in completely a national treasure. You can do anything. So what show would you like to do, Alan?
26:38 Speaker 06 I don't know, I've kind of done it all.
26:40 Speaker 05 Yeah.
26:40 Speaker 06 No, no, that sounds wanky, but I have. Got me sitcom.
26:44 Speaker 05 Yeah.
26:45 Speaker 06 I do a show with me bestie May. I do my own interior design show. I've got me, you know.
26:50 Speaker 04 So what's next?
26:51 Speaker 06 I don't know, maybe a film.
26:53 Speaker 04 Astronaut?
26:54 Speaker 06 Astronaut, OnlyFans. There you go.
26:57 Speaker 05 There would be a market for that.
26:59 Speaker 06 Yeah, well, imagine the sickos.
27:00 Jessie Ware? Which bit would you show?
27:02 Speaker 06 My feet. I've got lovely feet.
27:03 Speaker 05 I keep thinking we should do feet. Because you can earn a fortune.
27:06 Jessie Ware? Have you got really good feet?
27:07 Speaker 05 No, my husband says I look lovely till I get to me ankles. And then he says my feet are like, like little wool sausages that have been hit with a mallet.
27:16 Speaker 06 I'm not surprised with the shoes you wear.
27:18 Speaker 05 Yeah. Ever heard anything like it?
27:20 Speaker 06 So you've got lovely feet.
27:21 Speaker 05 Thank you, Alan.
27:22 Jessie Ware? Have you, have you got Funyuns?
27:23 Speaker 05 No.
27:24 Jessie Ware? Oh, so you might like to pick Tori Beckham's.
27:26 Speaker 05 Have a look under the table.
27:27 Jessie Ware? You've not had to.
27:27 Speaker 06 Please don't, please don't put your feet on the bad burpins.
27:31 Speaker 05 Being really mean.
27:32 Jessie Ware? I think Chris is, I think it's time to move in with Alan.
27:35 Speaker 06 Yeah, I love your feet. I'd give you a toe job every night.
27:39 Speaker 05 A toe job.
27:42 Speaker 05 That'll be the headline in the Daily Mail.
27:44 Speaker 06 Oh God, there we go. Sick Alan sucks Amanda's toe. Horrified.
27:50 Speaker 05 For charity.
27:50 Speaker 06 For charity, yeah.
27:52 Jessie Ware? I mean, you are filthy, both of you. And the fact that it's so politely PG, that lovely show that you, like, I mean, how?
28:00 Speaker 06 Well, it's like a pantomime. There's something for the mums and dads and the kids.
28:04 Speaker 05 It goes over the heads.
28:06 Jessie Ware? It does definitely go over the heads, but I do feel like you could do a late night one, too. Like, there could be an after-hours one.
28:12 Speaker 05 Do you know what they do? In a couple of weeks or whatever, they will release, and it's amazing that the BBC actually let us do it, but they release all the bloopers.
28:20 Jessie Ware? That's brilliant, yeah.
28:21 Speaker 05 Which are really mad and naughty. And they just put them, iPlayer put them out there. And it's everywhere.
28:28 Speaker 06 Yeah.
28:28 Speaker 05 And that's.
28:29 Speaker 06 We have such a laugh.
28:30 Speaker 05 But we've also got an amazing team, who we say, without, and they've been the same team for all this time.
28:36 Speaker 06 And that lovely, when they come back, that is such a pat on the back.
28:39 Speaker 05 It's a relief, it's a relief because they look after us.
28:43 Speaker 06 Yeah, yeah.
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29:57 Jessie Ware? I'm trying to add some structure to this episode because it's already been derailed. And I love it.
30:04 Speaker 05 This is a renovation episode.
30:07 Jessie Ware? I love it. It's fab.
30:08 Speaker 05 And he's underpinning.
30:09 Speaker 06 We can rebuild your podcast.
30:11 Jessie Ware? Thank you. Thank you so much, Alan Carr.
30:13 Speaker 06 I think the foundations need a bit of work, but anyway.
30:20 Speaker 06 Joking.
30:21 Jessie Ware? It's fine, darling.
30:22 Speaker 05 Amanda, a childhood memory of like a dinner scene around the table, who was cooking? What were you eating? Well.
30:29 Speaker 06 Is Judith a good cook?
30:30 Speaker 05 My mum's a good cook, Judith. She's fab. My mum's lovely. And I think that's the biggest thing that I've tried to instil into my family is sitting around the table, at least on a Sunday. Okay. So it will always be a Sunday roast. That's, I know probably hundreds of your guests have said that, but I'm, I'm good at doing Sunday roasts. My roast potato, I've got a secret ingredient for my gravy. Come on. I can't. Oh, secret. But it does involve alcohol. But it's not wine.
30:58 Speaker 06 But sometimes you, um.
30:59 Speaker 05 Sherry.
31:00 Speaker 06 Sometimes you serve the Sunday dinner naked.
31:02 Speaker 05 Oh. I cook it naked. Oh. Only because, you know, on the cusp between winter and summer, where you have to give up the roast dinners and turn it into a barbecue? Yeah. There was one Sunday.
31:14 Speaker 06 A lovely, like, taking your clothes off, making a Sunday roast is like something everyone does. You know, that time when clothes have to come off as.
31:25 Speaker 06 Said no one ever.
31:26 Speaker 05 Go on. It's true. And it's like around sort of May, June. Yeah. Where you think, I can squeeze one more Sunday roast out and you've got everything done. And my whole family moan about a Sunday roast, but I make them have it. And then this one particular Sunday, it was boiling hot. So I did just strip off. Oh. And cook everything naked. My children see me naked all the time. I didn't eat naked. Have you got girls? Yeah. Not boys? No. No, they're. Girls. I did worry. My husband enjoyed it. They were all in the garden. Jessie, you've been naked all your life.
32:00 Jessie Ware? Yeah, I understand.
32:00 Speaker 05 I like being naked.
32:03 Speaker 05 No, get it.
32:04 Jessie Ware? No.
32:04 Speaker 05 No, maybe it is, yeah. I, I always don't mind being naked. I don't mind at all.
32:10 Jessie Ware? Free and easy, baby.
32:11 Speaker 05 Yeah. So. You would have a bath when everyone needs a wee?
32:15 Jessie Ware? I'd have a poo.
32:16 Speaker 05 Well, my husband says that. My husband's like having a shower and then I'm having a wee and it turns into a poo and he's like, why do you choose this moment? Because I feel so relaxed in front of you.
32:26 Jessie Ware? Yes, yes.
32:27 Speaker 05 I'm a bit offended, because.
32:28 Jessie Ware? You've never pooed in front of Alan.
32:29 Speaker 05 I'm offended because you've never done that in front of me. How does that make me feel as your TV husband?
32:33 Jessie Ware? Series five, babe.
32:34 Speaker 05 Oh, well, the amount of umbrellas you've held up across Europe. I know. So I could have a pee behind them. And maybe I'll have a dump in the next series.
32:44 Speaker 05 Something for everyone to look forward to. Do you know where you're going next?
32:47 Speaker 06 You know, our dream is to do Japan because their birth rate is slowing down. Well, actually, I think it's going. And they, there's so many houses empty because they believe, also because of the rates and of everything, the birth rate. But also they believe that the ghost of their ancestors is in that house, so they have to be loyal to it. And if they move, then they're leaving their relatives behind. So when people leave a house, it's got, no, I don't want to move in there. That's not my house, you know? So I think, but we're so busy. How can we film in Japan? But we've, we took serious time off, spent a lot of time over there, but you're on hard. I've got all these other bits and bobs happening, so.
33:26 Jessie Ware? What other bits and bobs, Alan?
33:27 Speaker 05 Jessie, Jessie, is this a dry house?
33:31 Jessie Ware? Okay, now, listen.
33:32 Speaker 05 Do we go for the Pinot Noir?
33:33 Jessie Ware? I think you've instructed.
33:34 Speaker 05 It's organic.
33:35 Jessie Ware? I'm obsessed with Amanda because.
33:39 Speaker 05 Right.
33:39 Jessie Ware? I've met my match, Mum.
33:40 Speaker 05 Yeah.
33:42 Jessie Ware? Do you order for the table as well?
33:43 Speaker 05 Yes.
33:44 Jessie Ware? Yeah.
33:44 Speaker 05 Because it's easier. I can't be doing with everyone doing their bits and bobs. I'm like, let's just, you're going to love this. Have this.
33:51 Speaker 06 I can see, I see Amanda and Jessie's Japanese job.
33:56 Speaker 06 I'll be sitting, I know it as worryingly. I'm sitting there going, oh, watch a little Netflix on or BBC. Oh, wow.
34:05 Speaker 06 Alan who? We can sing the theme tune.
34:06 Jessie Ware? Oh my god, it's in the theatre!
34:10 Speaker 06 Alan's like this, taxi! But also, I'm going on tour.
34:15 Jessie Ware? Yeah!
34:17 Speaker 06 No, no, I don't need, do you know what? Is it, are you sold out? Yes, it's sold out.
34:22 Jessie Ware? Oh my god!
34:23 Speaker 06 Of course it is, must have been. I welled up yesterday. You do have friends and family tickets, don't you? Yeah, yeah, oh god, yes. Oh, you'll come. I mean, I have to take some of the bits out about you, so it might be quite a short show.
34:32 Jessie Ware? Oh no, don't!
34:33 Speaker 06 Oh, here she is farting, it's the human bagpipes, Amanda Hodge.
34:37 Speaker 04 Alan, Alan, where are you playing in London?
34:40 Speaker 06 At the Palladium. It's amazing, it's gorgeous.
34:44 Jessie Ware? Congratulations!
34:45 Speaker 06 Oh, I know, I know, I'm buzzing.
34:46 Speaker 04 How long is the tour, though? It's a lot.
34:48 Speaker 06 It's a lot. You do have to park a lot of things and just concentrate on the tour, because I've done it where I've done all the TV and the tour, and you ju- this goes. You can't, and I've said this to you before. And I know people go, it's over an hour and a half on stage, but my god, I'm nerves, adrenaline. Of course. Can't sleep, you know, da-da-da, so I'm gonna...
35:05 Speaker 04 Is it the same tour manager, your friend?
35:07 Speaker 06 Elliot, yes, yeah, he'll be coming on tour with me, I love Elliot and stuff, so...
35:11 Jessie Ware? You know, you said you welled up, is it because you didn't believe that you could, I mean, because, do you...
35:16 Speaker 06 Well, the people take the time, and I know, like, money is tight. Sorry.
35:22 Jessie Ware? Fucking hell.
35:24 Speaker 06 And as a performer, yay, the wine's open!
35:29 Speaker 06 What do you want now?
35:30 Speaker 04 Shall I taste it first, Alan, just to make sure it's all right?
35:33 Speaker 06 Well, just, you're gonna accept it anyway, but just pretend. Is that, madam?
35:37 Jessie Ware? Do you, how do you do your wine tasting?
35:39 Speaker 06 An inch in the bottom, is that what you want?
35:41 Speaker 04 Please sniff it up. Make sure the cork isn't...
35:44 Speaker 06 An inch in the bottom. Would you like an inch in the bottom?
35:49 Speaker 06 Would you like an inch in the bottom? I love an inch in the bottom, darling. Okay, I never know how much an inch is.
35:54 Speaker 04 Oh gosh, no wonder you're on that website, thank you.
36:04 Speaker 06 That website, it's a dating app. Don't make out some kind of sexual deed.
36:08 Speaker 05 It's terrifying.
36:09 Jessie Ware? Thank you.
36:10 Speaker 05 This is delicious. I'm not, we're not going to ignore the fact, we were just talking about your tour. You're so self-deprecating.
36:16 Jessie Ware? This is lovely. Is this one of your favourites too?
36:18 Speaker 05 No, I literally, I wanted a Pinot Noir. Because I wanted it to be thin, because it's lunchtime. And I thought organic would be easier for us.
36:27 Jessie Ware? I don't usually like Pinot Noir, but I like that.
36:29 Speaker 05 Me neither.
36:29 Speaker 06 I like a Malbec.
36:30 Speaker 05 There's body to it. I love a Malbec.
36:33 Jessie Ware? I don't like Malbec. I feel like you have it in a pub and hate yourself.
36:37 Speaker 05 It's a bit peppery.
36:38 Jessie Ware? Sorry.
36:38 Speaker 05 Can you just, I've got less than an inch in my bottom.
36:42 Speaker 06 Oh, we can't be having that.
36:43 Speaker 05 I could do, you know. Donny, I could do with another inch. Oh my god, I love another inch.
36:50 Jessie Ware? Come on, Lenny, just look at her.
36:51 Speaker 06 I wish I'd never said that joke now, even I'm blushing. I want more than an inch in my bottom.
36:56 Jessie Ware? Don't get it on your low though, don't get it on your low.
36:58 Speaker 05 We're talking about your tour. I'm not going to let you divert.
37:02 Speaker 06 No, no, no, it's just cost of living crisis, da, da, da, da. But people are taking the time to buy and come and see you live, which is lovely. That's good.
37:10 Speaker 05 It's lovely. And what I'm pleased about is, and we've had this conversation, is that you're actually going to concentrate on one thing at once.
37:17 Speaker 06 I know, I know.
37:18 Speaker 05 We're the same in that we sort of, we do say no, but you say yes, because you've got that mentality. Because we're from working class backgrounds, you have to keep working, keep making the money, keep, I don't know, just keep going. And when we have a day off, I feel like, oh my god, and I clean out a wardrobe or a drawer and you do the same thing. And you feel like it's all going to end if you've got a day off. So it's good for you to have a full day and then go and do the show.
37:42 Speaker 06 And that's what I was going to say earlier with the champagne and me being serious for a little bit. You know, you do read in the media about, oh, you know, working class voices on telly and stuff. We are those people, but.
37:51 Speaker 05 I sound posh, but I'm not.
37:53 Speaker 06 She's not.
37:53 Speaker 05 I'm from a house.
37:54 Speaker 06 You've just been burping in it.
37:57 Speaker 06 I, people think I'm posh.
37:59 Speaker 05 They do think I'm posh. And prior, I went to a comprehensive in a tiny village and my mum and dad, they all talk like that. I went to, I lived in Hampshire in a, in a small village called Bishopswaltham, and the school was called Swanmore Secondary School.
38:14 Jessie Ware? Let's talk about Alan.
38:16 Speaker 06 Then I was in Northampton. We know that. Yeah, I know. Are we on the third series of Changing Heads? Yeah, third series, yeah. It's lovely. It's brilliant. Especially because you've written this one. The boys BAFTA nominated, he won a role television award. Fabulous. Isn't it funny, he came back and, you know, when you've written it and he is so tall.
38:37 Jessie Ware? Voice has dropped?
38:38 Speaker 06 His voice dropped, his voice sounds like me and on set, he would be going, "Oh, I'll have a nice cup of tea", and be like, Alan, they didn't know if it was me or him. So this series three and four, which we filmed already, he sounds just like me. He's got that biting point, you know, where my voice goes up and down and stuff. It's when you go from your chest to your head, isn't it?
38:59 Jessie Ware? Well, absolutely, Amanda.
39:01 Speaker 06 You know, it was a story about me, but anyway, that's fine.
39:06 Jessie Ware? Now, listen, I wonder how we do Last Supper, whether we combine or whether you are very decisive on what you would be your last supper. I can't remember what your last supper was because I was drunk last time we talked about this. But Alan, can you think about a last supper? Amanda? Start a main, put drink of choice, I think I know the drink of drink. Drink would always just be the ruin art for all of it.
39:27 Speaker 06 And I like a prawn cocktail. I like a prawn cocktail. That's nice, prawn cocktail and lasagna for main. Lasagna? Yeah, yeah. Why?
39:36 Jessie Ware? It's layered.
39:37 Speaker 06 Is it layered? Like me, like me, it's layered. When you go to Italy, they don't eat lasagna, do they? You order lasagna in Italy and they look at you like, huh? Yeah. Can I just say for the record that my mum is a great cook? Because I said in another interview that Aunt Bessie was actually my real mum. And she got pissed. It's a good gag. My mum went, "Oh, Aunt Bessie's here." I went, "Oh, you read the article."
40:03 Speaker 06 Alan, what did your mum cook that was fabulous? Well, ba ba, my mum, my mum, Hartie Fair.
40:08 Speaker 05 Hartie Fair. That would also be a good drag name.
40:12 Speaker 06 Harty Cat, Liz. Um, yeah, all like that, you know, spaghetti bolognese, eighties child, you know what I mean? It was all of that. And then when Cross and Blackwell, do you remember them? They brought out those sachets.
40:24 Speaker 05 I know.
40:25 Speaker 06 Went round the world.
40:27 Speaker 05 Oh, I remember having pasta for the first time and exotic sauces. I remember my nan went to Greece and then the whole family made moussaka. Cause I became vegetarian at thirteen, but before that I ate meat. But we had moussaka and that was like, oh my god. What is this? You'd never eat meat? No. So what do you have for your, oh, you do. No, no, I never do. I do, I do a Linda McCartney country filled pie. Or I just don't bother and I have millions of vegetables. Okay. And what do you, what would you cook for your family? Oh, I cook them meat. I stuffed tur, I put my hands in a turkey.
40:59 Speaker 06 Yeah, my friend Cherry is a vegetarian. She, her family are all like that and she, she stuffs the turkey.
41:04 Speaker 05 Anyone wants to eat, they'll have it at my house. I'm not precious. Mm-hmm. I'm not precious like that. I'll cook it, eat it, you know, touch it, whatever you need. What did you do for New Year's Eve?
41:17 Speaker 06 The best.
41:18 Speaker 05 Oh, were you together?
41:19 Speaker 06 Yes.
41:21 Speaker 05 Oh, of course. Just Chris get a bit jealous. He did mention it a couple of times.
41:26 Speaker 06 There, there was, there was a funny moment, um, where we had last Christmas, we didn't spend Christmas at New Year's Eve together, but we spent that time in between. And we were going through Covent Garden with our family and then there was that gorgeous Christmas tree in Covent Garden. She said, oh, let's have a photo. She threw the camera at Chris and me and her are like this with her children.
41:49 Speaker 06 But he's got, he's got such a good sense of humor.
41:52 Speaker 05 Chris is the funniest man alive. What does he do? He is a music producer and now, and now a manager. He's brilliant, but he's very funny. He's very funny.
42:03 Speaker 06 And then we did a photo at New Year's Eve where she deliberately cut him out. We're holding hands and he's just.
42:08 Speaker 05 And you can just see Chris's shoulder in the side of it. I was like, me and my husband, oh whoops. Manager, what did you have a party? I mean, this sounds, last year, we decided to hire a castle.
42:20 Speaker 06 Yeah.
42:21 Speaker 05 Oh. Between us.
42:25 Speaker 05 Was before all the traitors madness and everything else. It sounds really dead posh, but there was twenty two of us.
42:32 Speaker 06 Everyone chipped in.
42:33 Speaker 05 Everyone chipped in. We did Highland Games, we had a Kayleigh, we did the dressing of the haggard.
42:41 Speaker 05 Scotland is the place to be on New Year's Eve. Really? It's amazing. Okay.
42:44 Speaker 06 The classic Amanda, three days up there and then she's like, Kayleigh, disco, you know, organising. Highland Games, playing the bagpipes, welly wanging. She just had it all planned. And you know when you're a bit like, I just want like a downtime, but you know, it was so much fun. And I was good at tossing the keber.
43:03 Speaker 05 Yes, he tossed it and it landed at twelve o'clock.
43:06 Speaker 06 And it's not how far you throw the keber, did you know that? It's whether it lands twelve.
43:13 Speaker 05 Alan's keber always lands at twelve.
43:15 Speaker 06 Lands at mine did land at twelve.
43:18 Speaker 05 Like that. Straightest thing about him.
43:20 Speaker 06 Yeah, yeah. My keber.
43:25 Speaker 05 What is a keber actually?
43:26 Speaker 06 It's like a big log.
43:27 Speaker 05 Yeah. But, oh, but.
43:28 Speaker 06 And then poor old Lee, poor old Lee was getting a lot of grief from the Scottish man, weren't he?
43:32 Speaker 05 I know.
43:33 Speaker 06 Oh, I bet you've had your hands round a log like that before. Try and be straight like this.
43:37 Speaker 05 Although he was from Scotland, he wasn't northern.
43:40 Speaker 06 I don't know why I do that.
43:42 Speaker 05 But it was, I'm gonna say it was the best New Year's Eve I've ever had. Did you have music? Yes, we did Kayleigh dancing. Oh, you didn't have like disco? And then we had a. You featured, you were on our playlist. And we, because we were all allowed to choose whatever we wanted and in between they had this playlist that we'd curated. It was amazing.
44:02 Speaker 06 Yeah.
44:03 Speaker 05 This sounds great. It was honestly the best. And then at midnight, they rang the bells and we went on to the turret. And we watched all the fireworks across Edinburgh and the flag was flying in. And we just felt really emotional and you go, I love you. I love you, Chris. But I love you, Alan.
44:19 Speaker 06 We're definitely gonna do it again. But the funny thing is, we asked, oh, can we have some fireworks? And I think they sort of knew that we were like, you know, a bit. So they made this excuse, oh, it's, it's near the airport, we can't. I thought Catherine wheel ain't gonna bring down a jumbo jet now.
44:35 Speaker 06 I think, I think.
44:36 Speaker 05 You never know, don't write in.
44:39 Speaker 06 No, really, no, I mean, I think they thought, oh, all right. But no, it was just, and do you know what as well? January the first was just as fun.
44:48 Speaker 05 Oh, really?
44:49 Speaker 06 Yeah, we went to a restaurant there.
44:50 Speaker 05 We went to this restaurant.
44:52 Speaker 06 Scott, Scott's down in Queens.
44:54 Speaker 05 We should give them in Queens Ferry. And they opened for us after, and, and again, we had dancing.
45:00 Speaker 06 Gorgeous food.
45:01 Speaker 05 Organised this, does Amanda organise this?
45:03 Speaker 06 You didn't organise.
45:04 Speaker 05 But I'm gonna just give you a world exclusive.
45:07 Jessie Ware? Oh.
45:08 Speaker 05 That I haven't even sent to Alan, because I thought, I don't know if he wanna hear it.
45:12 Jessie Ware? Oh.
45:12 Speaker 05 But this is Alan.
45:14 Jessie Ware? She's booked it for 2020.
45:15 Speaker 05 On New Year's Day, singing with the entertainers.
45:22 Speaker 06 God.
45:33 Speaker 05 Alan's the deeper voice.
45:35 Speaker 06 But then I can go up and down, it's bungee jumps.
45:38 Speaker 05 Isn't that fun?
45:38 Speaker 06 Look at that.
45:39 Jessie Ware? Amazing.
45:40 Speaker 06 And I can't actually, I can't actually remember that.
45:46 Jessie Ware? Are you ready for some pudding?
45:47 Speaker 06 Yeah.
45:48 Jessie Ware? Hundred percent. Right, okay.
45:49 Speaker 06 Well, this looks calorific, love.
45:51 Speaker 05 No, it doesn't.
45:52 Jessie Ware? It's delicious and it's gonna pep you up, because it's a bit of coffee in there, so.
45:56 Speaker 06 Oh.
45:56 Jessie Ware? There you go. It's, um, how do you make this? It's no churn cappuccino ice cream with Ferrero Rocher. And to be honest, I need, I had so many Ferrero Rocher from Christmas, it's been helped.
46:06 Speaker 05 You are spoiling her.
46:09 Jessie Ware? They are the best gift to get. I'm sorry, I love it. When somebody gives me Ferrero Rocher, I'm like, wow.
46:14 Speaker 05 Or a panettone.
46:15 Jessie Ware? I've got, somebody's getting panettone bread and butter pudding in the weekend.
46:19 Speaker 05 Yes, I'm gonna do it. I've got a chocolate panettone and I was thinking I could make that.
46:23 Jessie Ware? That weekend, exactly. Right, let me just see, because I've had it, oh, for fuck's sake, it's always so fucking hard. Shall I get it out?
46:30 Speaker 05 Yeah.
46:31 Jessie Ware? Shall I get it out?
46:32 Speaker 05 Yeah.
46:34 Speaker 06 Can I say, I think Terry's chocolate oranges are getting smaller. I've said it. It should be Terry's chocolate Satsuma, if you ask me.
46:43 Speaker 04 I've got no taste.
46:44 Speaker 05 Controversial.
46:45 Speaker 06 I know, sorry. I said what I said.
46:48 Speaker 04 Is that one of your favourites? I love it.
46:50 Speaker 06 But for me, even though I've got, even though I've got these teeth.
46:53 Speaker 04 Oh, matchstick, yeah.
46:54 Speaker 05 I like a matchstick at Christmas.
46:55 Speaker 06 Matchmaker.
46:56 Speaker 04 Matchmaker, yeah.
46:57 Speaker 06 Orange or mint?
46:59 Speaker 05 Mint, mint.
47:00 Speaker 06 Because mint, you don't really have to brush your teeth in the morning, do you?
47:05 Speaker 05 Don't try that at home, children. So, Alan, you might choose a prawn cocktail. I would, but I would also choose a sparguus with hollandaise. I really liked that as a starter.
47:18 Speaker 06 Yeah.
47:18 Speaker 04 Okay.
47:19 Speaker 05 With an egg. I like anything with an egg on. Amanda, you're talking my language. An egg running into a salad or anything.
47:25 Speaker 04 I've had sparguus with hollandaise for a hundred years. It's not, you don't get it normally now.
47:30 Speaker 05 It's very retro.
47:31 Speaker 04 It's retro, isn't it?
47:32 Speaker 05 Okay, so you've seen it and seen it in like.
47:34 Speaker 06 Is Lysanna a bit too boring?
47:36 Speaker 05 No, I know.
47:37 Speaker 06 I should say something out.
47:38 Speaker 05 It's relatable, Alan.
47:39 Speaker 06 I know. Who wants to be relatable?
47:41 Speaker 05 I'm, I say the same thing. I go pasta pesto.
47:45 Speaker 04 Oh, really?
47:46 Speaker 05 Oh, my God.
47:46 Speaker 06 That's boring. Don't you know, Anne, that you're gonna be dead?
47:50 Speaker 05 Yeah, I fucking love, I love pasta pesto.
47:54 Speaker 04 Do you?
47:55 Speaker 05 Fresh pesto. I make it at home, but I make it with broccoli.
47:59 Speaker 04 Oh.
47:59 Speaker 05 Which sounds a bit like I'm trying to sneak vegetables into my children's diet. Oh, but it's so. I steam the broccoli and then I whizz it up with loads of everything and like a whole thing of parmesan and pie and nuts and garlic and everything. It is unbelievable. And I would want to be happy. And I would want the memories, I think it was my last meal. With loads of shavings of pesto and a side of rocket, of parmesan and a side of rocket. So, is anyone gonna want any more of this, by the way? Otherwise I'm gonna put it in the freezer. Do you want a little spoon, another spoonful?
48:30 Speaker 06 Oh, I'll have one more spoon.
48:31 Speaker 05 Yeah, come on. I am as well. Well, you can have as much as you want, by the way.
48:34 Speaker 04 Alan, when you're away, will you ring her? Will you check in while you're away on holiday?
48:39 Speaker 05 We don't, we will text. Like, when he's in Mexico, I will try and leave him alone.
48:43 Speaker 04 Okay.
48:44 Speaker 05 But I will text or send him something funny.
48:46 Speaker 04 Okay.
48:47 Speaker 05 And he might send me something stupid on the bill, like, whatever he's up to, he might send me something silly. He's gonna send you lots of pictures of lesbians by the sound. I would look forward to that. I actually would love to go to a lesbian festival. I'd have so much fun. Girls just wanna have fun down there.
49:00 Speaker 06 I mean, it's gonna be so much fun. I can't wait. And also, and I love C-Mat as well.
49:05 Speaker 05 She's amazing.
49:06 Speaker 06 Oh.
49:06 Speaker 05 I love Sam. They're so good.
49:08 Speaker 06 Yeah. What was I gonna say then? But we have, because we are so indiscreet, me and Amanda, we have an unwritten rule that we never leave voice notes.
49:17 Speaker 05 In case.
49:18 Speaker 06 Because you never know it's gonna get hooked up to, or why is the system, you know, where some freak of nature, where we've got gossip. I've got gossip. That's what we sort of say. And then we say it face to face, because I can't trust a voice note.
49:32 Speaker 05 And you love a voice note. If Alan loves a voice note, don't I? Sometimes I'll see that a voice note's come and I'll go, I'm gonna listen to this at home. I'm gonna take this home. And I'll say to Alan, I'm gonna listen to this at home. And then he'll go, no, it's okay, you can listen to it. And I'll go, okay, fine. And it's just about.
49:49 Speaker 06 But this is, this is in the ad break.
49:50 Speaker 05 I want to be on this fucking WhatsApp group.
49:52 Speaker 06 No, but this is in that break on Heart.
49:55 Speaker 05 This is on, like, when I'm live on air.
49:58 Speaker 06 Somewhere.
49:59 Speaker 05 If I say, if I dared to say to a producer, I've got a voice note from Alan, they're like, let's do it next. And I'm like.
50:04 Speaker 04 So, have you got any good gossip today?
50:07 Speaker 05 Alan's the one. Uh, actually.
50:10 Speaker 06 I've got only gossip.
50:11 Speaker 05 Where do you get your gossip from?
50:12 Speaker 06 I make it up.
50:16 Speaker 06 It's the best. It's organic.
50:17 Speaker 05 In the industry, I think we're both known for being gossips. But at the same time, we're both secret holders.
50:25 Speaker 06 Yeah, I trust her with, um, when I came out the traitors, I told her everything.
50:31 Speaker 05 He went, I'm out. I signed an NDA. Do you wanna know or not? And I went.
50:41 Speaker 05 I wanna know, Alan.
50:43 Speaker 06 Did anyone have children, my mum and dad, my brother?
50:46 Speaker 05 I didn't speak and I love gossip and I didn't.
50:50 Jessie Ware? You had to be good.
50:51 Speaker 05 Because I was so terrified, I didn't want to get him into any trouble.
50:53 Jessie Ware? No.
50:54 Speaker 06 Yeah.
50:55 Speaker 05 Yeah.
50:55 Speaker 06 But yeah, we, yeah, well, I had to offload, it's so intense and it's no phone, no laptop.
51:01 Speaker 04 Claudia gorgeous.
51:02 Speaker 06 I love Claudia.
51:02 Speaker 05 We love Claudia, both of us are obsessed with Claudia.
51:05 Speaker 06 But you, but you know, in the castle, you know, she keeps herself to herself, which you have to because you can't. And when you see her, she'll give you a cheeky little smile, but it's not like, she's not going, oh Alan, what, you know, how you doing?
51:15 Speaker 05 How many days were you there?
51:17 Jessie Ware? It's three weeks.
51:19 Speaker 05 Fuck off.
51:19 Speaker 06 I was there three weeks and of course, um.
51:22 Speaker 05 I couldn't do it, I couldn't do it.
51:24 Speaker 06 And of course.
51:25 Speaker 05 I'd be awful.
51:25 Speaker 06 And of course, um, I've got in my diary, you know, you've got your diary and I rang up my agent, I said, oh, you know, I'm doing traitors. Um, you've got something in the first week on the first day. He went, well, you're gonna be out. He said you'll be out. He said you're.
51:38 Speaker 05 Did you fire your fucking agent?
51:40 Speaker 06 Yeah, you're, you're Mr. Motor Mouth, you ain't gonna be in there with your fucking big mouth, you're gonna be out, ah, ah, ah, like that. And then the dog walker, looking after the dogs, I had to keep ringing her up to say.
51:49 Speaker 05 Oh my god, so.
51:49 Speaker 06 Oh, sorry, can you just stay for another week because I just thought I'd be out. And then, and then when I laughed on the steps and went, I am.
52:00 Speaker 06 I, I went, I went home and packed because I went, I'm going home tomorrow. And then I'm round the round table, Nick, Cam, what do I have to do?
52:10 Speaker 05 Stop being nice.
52:13 Jessie Ware? Do you need a cup of tea now?
52:14 Speaker 06 I would love a cup of tea.
52:15 Jessie Ware? Do you want more alcohol?
52:18 Speaker 05 Yes.
52:18 Speaker 06 I'd like, I'd have more alcohol and a cup of tea.
52:20 Speaker 05 I'll have two fingers.
52:22 Jessie Ware? Two fingers.
52:23 Speaker 05 That's what I always say.
52:24 Speaker 04 Two fingers, darling.
52:27 Speaker 06 Is any, is any of this usable? Is any of this usable?
52:30 Speaker 04 My dad used to always say one, my, my mom used to say one finger of whiskey.
52:34 Speaker 05 Oh my god, I'm the only person, I say two fingers, everybody looks at me and I'm like, what?
52:39 Jessie Ware? Because you're filthy, so.
52:40 Speaker 06 Yeah, that, that's why they look at you.
52:42 Speaker 05 I want two fingers or two farmer's fingers.
52:45 Speaker 06 And, and she's serving up the Sunday roast naked, I love two fingers, why are you looking at me?
52:53 Speaker 05 Two farmers' fingers. Two farmers' fingers. So when do you film Britain's Got Talent? Is that in the summer? Oh, we've, no, we filmed it, it's in the bag. So we filmed it in October and all the auditions go out in like March, April. And then the live shows start in April for a month, six weeks in April. Do you still love it?
53:18 Speaker 05 I'm not joking, it is, I mean, I'm gonna say Amanda and Alan's probably like my favourite gig. But Britain's Got Talent was the job that I think changed my entire life. And Simon has been so loyal and sort of kept me there. And it's gonna be my 20th year next year. My daughter's gonna, my daughter's 20 now, but she turned one on the day that I got the job. And next year I will have done 20 years. And I said at the time, I literally was stirring soup, I think Cheryl Cole dropped out, that's famous. She dropped out of it. I went, yeah, yeah. And I said to my husband, Chris, oh, that would be three years, that'll sort, that'd be good for the mortgage, whatever.
54:01 Speaker 05 And then 20 years later, and you don't think anything's gonna last 20 years. And is it the same panel with Bruno? It's changed, no, so, so it's me and Simon and Alicia and KSI, who is a YouTube person. Oh, the one who made the drink. I love, I love KSI. Oh my God, I love him and I love his whole team. Yes. Is that the, the? Yes, the drink, the energy drink, I don't drink the energy drink. He falls asleep all the time, so I don't think he drinks the energy drink either, to be fair. But I bloody love him. Really? Yeah. And we went out, when we, we film everything in Blackpool now. I nearly cried, it's such a family, it feels so family. I ordered some room service one night and this lovely woman dropped it to me.
54:45 Speaker 05 And she went, God bless Amanda. When she, and you know, my nan used to say that to me and I was like that, that's not room service.
54:52 Jessie Ware? Is this your nan who liked having a sherry?
54:55 Speaker 05 Yes, Harvey's Bristol cream.
54:57 Jessie Ware? And you have one every Sunday morning?
54:58 Speaker 05 On every Sunday, when I'm cooking the Sunday lunch.
55:02 Speaker 06 She takes all her clothes off, ready for the roast.
55:06 Speaker 05 I love, it is a morning drink.
55:08 Speaker 06 Can you see my Bristol cream?
55:11 Speaker 05 My Bristol, what is it called Bristol City?
55:16 Speaker 05 Bristol City. Yeah, so I love a Harvey's Bristol cream. I don't like posh sherry. And over Christmas, the amount of pubs I went to with my husband.
55:24 Speaker 06 It's smoother.
55:25 Speaker 05 And I said, I really want a sweet sherry. And they all just looked at me blankly. And I went, no, no, no, I don't want this posh Spanish thing. I don't want that. I don't want that.
55:33 Speaker 04 You want a sherry?
55:35 Speaker 05 Yeah, I know. Bristol cream. And I invented a new drink over Christmas because I put Harvey's Bristol cream with ice.
55:42 Speaker 04 A finger.
55:43 Speaker 05 A finger of sherry.
55:45 Speaker 04 Yeah.
55:45 Speaker 05 A finger of sherry is just enough. Ice cubes and a slice of orange.
55:51 Speaker 04 Oh, wow.
55:52 Speaker 05 That is a game changer for Harvey's Bristol cream. Let's just call it two fingers.
55:58 Speaker 06 Two fingers. Two fingers. But that's what's so amazing about this podcast because food is emotional, isn't it? And that's why, that's why, you know, it's.
56:10 Speaker 05 Such a good idea. Well done. Well done, both of you.
56:14 Speaker 04 Thank you.
56:14 Speaker 05 It is, because it invokes so many memories. And food is about how you feel. I don't like food where there's two bits of cucumber or a carrot and like someone spat on it, you know, like the froth. I can't bear that.
56:28 Speaker 06 What is that froth?
56:28 Speaker 04 It's fumé.
56:29 Speaker 05 I cannot.
56:30 Speaker 04 An emulsion.
56:31 Speaker 05 I have bollocks to that.
56:32 Speaker 06 It is like dribbley, so I'm not going to.
56:35 Speaker 05 I want a fish finger sandwich and a tartar sauce and a load of mayonnaise. I don't care how it looks, it's about how it makes me feel and what it tastes like. Or even how it's presented.
56:44 Speaker 04 Well, before I go, get the third bottle and the cup of tea.
56:48 Speaker 06 Maybe lose the tea.
56:52 Speaker 06 We're going large.
56:53 Speaker 04 Yeah, we're not diluting his.
56:55 Speaker 06 We're not going two fingers. I'm throwing in a plum.
56:57 Speaker 04 Jessie, have you noticed?
57:01 Speaker 04 Jessie, have you noticed the glass?
57:03 Speaker 05 I know.
57:03 Speaker 06 That's disgusting.
57:07 Speaker 05 I'm scared, Amanda. Do you want the other bottle of champagne?
57:11 Speaker 06 Yeah.
57:11 Speaker 04 Have you got another P now?
57:14 Speaker 06 I'll have any red.
57:15 Speaker 05 Should we open your tray to red, Alan?
57:18 Speaker 06 Oh, my God.
57:18 Speaker 05 No.
57:19 Speaker 06 No.
57:19 Speaker 05 Because he could keep the bottle.
57:21 Speaker 06 Don't worry. I've got, I always have an emergency bottle.
57:29 Speaker 05 I'm never gonna lie, it was 10.99.
57:32 Speaker 06 Hey, I'm not proud.
57:33 Speaker 05 No, me either.
57:34 Speaker 06 It's made in Chili's Atacama.
57:38 Speaker 05 That'll do.
57:38 Speaker 06 Dessert.
57:39 Speaker 05 Dessert.
57:39 Speaker 06 Dessert. Yeah, just open it.
57:42 Speaker 05 After me saying it was well read.
57:43 Speaker 06 Yeah, there's me going, I always have in my book.
57:46 Speaker 05 I asked a wine expert once about screw tops, because people are very snobby about them. What, screw tops doesn't mean anything?
57:53 Speaker 06 No, on my, um.
57:54 Speaker 05 I think they're helpful. I love them.
57:56 Speaker 06 Can I just say, on my new podcast, Buttons Up, with lovely Lee Pipp, um, we speak about that. You know, you know, when a wine's disgusting and you take it back? You can, you can say to the sommelier, I don't like this and take it back. You're within your right.
58:10 Speaker 05 I've done that, I've done that. I've gone like four bottles before I've got to it. I went, give it, I just need a taste a bit more like Ribena. And they were literally like, you need to get out of my. Do you know what? Do we like that? It's drinkable. The traitor, wine of chili.
58:24 Speaker 06 And do you know what some restaurants do?
58:26 Speaker 05 What?
58:27 Speaker 06 The second wine down is the one with the biggest markup because they know no one picks the top one on the wine list.
58:33 Speaker 05 You're kidding.
58:34 Speaker 06 Listen to Buttons Up, you'll get, you'll get hacks like this.
58:38 Speaker 05 Just a finger, Jessie.
58:39 Speaker 06 If I hear fingering one more time, I'm walking out or staying.
58:48 Speaker 05 That's nice. I don't want to be like on your podcast, but there's a little bit of tannin at the very end.
58:53 Speaker 06 You're going nowhere near my bloody podcast.
58:56 Speaker 05 That's bad, actually. I think that is. It's a very reasonable price. Nostalgic taste that can transport you back somewhere, happy or sad. Jelly.
59:06 Speaker 06 Yes, angel delight.
59:08 Speaker 05 Okay. Which jelly? Where are we?
59:10 Speaker 06 Chocolate. Oh, no, no, no, no, the butter, butterscotch, butterscotch.
59:13 Speaker 05 Where are you having it, Alan?
59:15 Speaker 06 Um, Lowick Court in Northampton. Um, it was a treat after Sunday.
59:19 Speaker 05 Was Lowick Court your road?
59:20 Speaker 06 Yeah, yeah, Lowick Court, where, which is based on Changing Ends is based there. Yeah, and I, uh, I remember that, uh, summer, doors being open and, yeah, just about, and it was a real treat.
59:32 Speaker 05 Jelly, where are you? I am at 17 Cunningham Avenue, Bishop's Wharf. So this was, I know, that is.
59:40 Speaker 06 Bishop's Wharf.
59:43 Speaker 05 This is a little village, like 10 miles from Winchester. This is where I was brought up. And this was a housing estate where. Like, I would play out on the streets till I heard my mum bang a saucerman to come in for tea. But on Sundays, our back gate was shut. That's not a euphemism, Alan. And we weren't allowed out.
1:00:05 Speaker 06 It even looks like, oh cheeky.
1:00:09 Speaker 05 Oh, our back door, our back gate was shut. Because my mum said, you're not playing anywhere other than your back garden today because it's disrespectful to the neighbours. You don't want to be making a noise anywhere.
1:00:19 Speaker 06 Old school, love it.
1:00:20 Speaker 05 So sweet. And we used to have jelly. That was a, that was a treat, but we might have it like, once a week, my mum might do it and I would see it and she would let me. But I would have a cube of jelly raw to eat. Before she put it in a plastic jug and then added hot water to it and set it. And that was it. Sometimes we'd put blancmange on the top of the jelly, Alan. But it would be a strawberry blancmange. And that was exotic in our house.
1:00:48 Jessie Ware? Amanda and Alan, it's been better than I could have even anticipated. We have been so wanting you two together. You are welcome whenever you just need to let some stuff.
1:00:58 Speaker 05 Couple on the show, or have you had a couple?
1:01:01 Speaker 06 No, love.
1:01:02 Jessie Ware? Oh. No, but it could be our best.
1:01:05 Speaker 05 Oh, yes, I love.
1:01:07 Speaker 06 Oh, you're last.
1:01:23 Speaker 04 Well, I can tell you, that's a cure for jet lag.
1:01:28 Jessie Ware? That's a cure for a lot of things. Those two together are hysterical. Amanda Holden is filthy and fabulous.
1:01:36 Speaker 04 She's such good fun.
1:01:37 Jessie Ware? And we all know how we feel about Alan Carr. We adore him.
1:01:40 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:01:40 Jessie Ware? And them together, I, I don't feel like we've had this most like debauched and kind of derailed episode of Table manners since maybe series one or two.
1:01:50 Speaker 04 No.
1:01:51 Jessie Ware? It really feels like the old days.
1:01:52 Speaker 04 Does. Just one finger, darling.
1:01:55 Jessie Ware? Oh my God, I can't drink anymore.
1:01:57 Speaker 04 You had two fingers. That was a problem.
1:01:58 Jessie Ware? I had more than two fingers, I tell you. And thank you to Alan Carr and Amanda Holden for a riotous. Wednesday, that was very, very fun, as I knew it would be, but I loved it. And also the recipes that, yeah, I can't speak, I can't speak.
1:02:15 Speaker 04 Okay, the food was delicious.
1:02:17 Jessie Ware? Excuse me, I'm off, thank you.
1:02:18 Speaker 04 And it was all gorgeous and the best fun.
1:02:21 Jessie Ware? We'll see you next week for more Table Mum.
1:02:39 Speaker 00 I've got big news. I switched to Verizon and got the new iPhone 18 Pro. Shh. I can keep my old phone and I also get the latest iPhone every year. Shh, anything else? Verizon let me choose Apple Watch Series 12 or iPad on them. Everybody, listen up. Shh. Switch to Verizon and get the new iPhone 18 Pro now. No trade in needed and the latest iPhone every year with Simplicity Plan. Plus, choose Apple Watch Series 12 or iPad on us. Simplicity Plan with Simplicity Pro required. Plan and device payment purchase are separate agreements with separate terms. Service plan for Watch or iPad required. Additional terms apply for all offers.
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