Jim Jefferies on Albo's Joke Scandal, His Nephew's Tragic Death & America's Madness

Jim Jefferies has done 6 Netflix specials, more than any comedian on earth. But this conversation goes well beyond comedy. Jim opens up about his nephew Lieutenant Maxwell Nugent, one of four soldiers killed in the Whitsundays helicopter crash, and why he believes both Liberal and Labor governments closed ranks to bury the truth. From ICE raids to Prime Minister Anthony Albanese's joke scandal, Ozempic to sports cards, this is Jim Jefferies completely unfiltered. Find tickets to see Jim on his Australian comedy tour here: https://jimjefferies.com/ Subscribe to the Mentored newsletter here: https://the-mentored-platform-pty-ltd.myklpages.com/l/WWJGc5 Join my exclusive Mentored+ community: https://mentored.com.au/become-a-member/ See omnystudio.com/listener https://omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Every time I come here, I've got a moustache. I know we don't wear a moustache all the time, but it's just, you know, it's um, I think, I think my wife likes me having a moustache because it makes me repulsive to women.

• 0:13Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, well, okay. Oh, so we can talk about the

• 0:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, we're talking about it.

• 0:17Speaker 00

  Talk about that because I've got a lot going on with that. That's really flipped on its head in the last week.

• 0:22Speaker 01

  But the first thing I want to talk to you about is last time we were talking about Perth Bears. Hey, Phil.

• 0:25Speaker 00

  Bears are back, baby. Yeah, I'm very excited about that.

• 0:28Speaker 01

  Have you heard of that?

• 0:28Speaker 00

  Um, I, I'm very excited. I, I, I try to be involved as much as possible. I don't want to get too involved because I always get in trouble with the NRL doing something. You know what happened with me in Vegas. You were there. So.

• 0:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 0:38Speaker 00

  So, so I, I, I don't want to, you know, cause any trouble for the Bears.

• 0:42Speaker 01

  Well, just for, just for the audience who were not in Vegas, tell us what.

• 0:44Speaker 00

  I, me and the NRL are fine. Everything's fine, right? Everything's fine. But very simple. What happened was, uh, I was there. They were very nice. They were promoting the shows that I was doing in Vegas, just on their social medias and all type of stuff. And they said, um, can you come to, uh, a party we're having? It was described to me as a party. And I was like, I don't really get in till the next day. And then like, oh, it would really mean a lot to us if you came to this party and you could meet the players and all that. And I went, oh, go on then. What's the next, you're not in Vegas. As you know, happy to be in Vegas as, as, as long as I can. So I go there and then, and then that day they were like, oh, if you could just get up and say a few words, right? That's, that's code language for stand up.

• 1:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:26Speaker 00

  Right? And I don't have any rugby league jokes or anything like that. And I don't, you know, and, and, and so it turned out the party was Fremont Street in front of 15,000 people who were, half it was British, half it was Australian. They'd been drinking since midday. And, um, uh, then when I showed up, that's a terrifying occasion for a comedian. Come in, we need, we need focus, focus as entertainers. We're not the same as bands where we just play over the top. For people who are so silly and ad libbing and stuff, we actually need extreme focus for the art form to work.

• 1:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, listen to me.

• 1:58Speaker 00

  Yeah. And so that's why we, we get so upset with people on their phones and stuff like that because we need focus. Otherwise you're not going to get the misdirects or anything like that. You're not going to find the punchlines. You're not going to see what's happening. And so I said, oh, I'm not, I'm not going to do stand up. And they said, oh, well, just you get up and be interviewed for a bit. And I was like, uh, go on then. So I show up there.

• 2:21Speaker 00

  I get backstage and they're like, you're on in five. And I'm like, I'm still not quite sure what I'm. And then I was pushed out there. And so I said, as I do, you put me in front of fifteen thousand drunk people. The result's always gonna be the same, right? I'm gonna go, how the fuck are we all doing? Who is fucking from fuck, fuck, fuck? And I did what I did and I got the, and the English fans, whoa. I actually thought I did a really good job. I was at least, at least I was captivating or they were interested in what I was doing. So I um, I I did a bit of English fans, this fans, this fan, this fan. And then someone asked me a question. They go, what's there to do if you're in Las Vegas? And we're not seeing your show and we're not gambling and we're not going to the rugby league.

• 3:07Speaker 00

  And so prostitutes, that's the only thing left. What else do you think's going on in Vegas? If you're not doing gambling or seeing a live show, what, you're enjoying the parks? You know what I mean? It's, it's, you're in the middle of the hot desert. This is what you're doing. And if you, you know, so I, I said prostitutes or something like that. Anyway, I walk off stage thinking I did fine. I got away with it. I got some booing from the British fans and some cheering and some things. And I, I, I tried to make it a bit pantomimey, you know, ooh. Anyway, I got off the lady from the NRL was mortified. She just was. And she went, there were children out there.

• 3:46Speaker 01

  Not many.

• 3:47Speaker 00

  And I was like. But you didn't ask me not to swear. See, if I do radio and they say, don't swear, I don't swear. I don't swear on the one percent club because I know I'm not to swear. If someone, all they had to do with me, don't swear, there's children out there, I can take. But if you put a duck on stage and then he quacked. Right? And you went, why did you quack?

• 4:06Speaker 01

  And what are you asking for?

• 4:07Speaker 00

  And I'm like, well, this is what I do. And if you ask me to do something different, but you know, look, I wish. That I approached the situation different differently. But the, the, the situation that I was put in, that was always gonna be the end result. And if I had another time over, I'd have another go. But I, me and the rugby league have had a chat and an apology from me and we're all good to go. And I, I still wanna be involved with the Bears as much as possible.

• 4:32Speaker 01

  Is there any truth in gonna be invited to the board of the Bears?

• 4:34Speaker 00

  I, I don't.

• 4:35Speaker 01

  Joe Hockey.

• 4:35Speaker 00

  I don't know about being invited on the board of the Bears, but I.

• 4:38Speaker 01

  Would you take it?

• 4:39Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah. Yeah, one hundred percent.

• 4:40Speaker 01

  You love it that much?

• 4:41Speaker 00

  Yeah, I, I love sports. I. You know, that's the dream is to, you know, to own a sporting team or something like that. Like I play fantasy sports where I'm trying to make my team work now. It's it's the best. I I collect sports cards. I'm like mad into sports. I I I think it's the best hobby you can have. It doesn't hurt anyone. It gives you conversation with strangers all the time. When you move to a new country, which I've done several times, it's the best way to assimilate with the people that are there. So the first thing I did when I went to England, I picked a Premier League team and I learned all the players and I went to as many games as I could. And I the autism and all that. I like the numbers and statistics and all that type of stuff.

• 5:24Speaker 00

  But then if you can say to a person, oh, this player has scored this many goals in this game. And they they respect that. When I first moved to America, I went to the Dodgers and that's become my favourite sport because baseball is my favourite sport. I like it. It's all statistics and numbers and and there's moments in time. At the end of the day, you can actually like the Moneyball of this player played well.

• 5:44Speaker 01

  Analytics.

• 5:44Speaker 00

  Analytics. Love it. Love it. And um and my son plays the little league and all that type of stuff. So so I was saying, I I gave up

• 5:54Speaker 00

  uh drinking two thousand days ago, very close to two thousand days ago. And um in that time, you know, I tried to uh pick up hobbies to fill that time. And I was back in Australia and I opened up an old folder and had all the North Sydney Bears cards. And it had the Gary Larson, Billy Moore and Greg Floramo and Brett Dallas and all these things, right? Greg Floramo is my hero.

• 6:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, great tackler.

• 6:19Speaker 00

  I wrote him, I wrote him two letters when I was a kid and he never responded back. And then one time I was chatting in front of the Bears and he was in the audience. And I said, and he never fucking wrote back to me. And I go back to my seat and there was a little note that just said, I've written back to you now. Are you happy?

• 6:37Speaker 00

  And uh so I looked at all those those cards and then I bought my son some baseball cards. And uh then I got mad into that, you know, it's something to do on the road, go to card shops and stuff like that. And it's actually the. The top five hundred sports cards in the world, if you had bought all of them, you would be up this year twenty nine percent.

• 6:59Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 6:59Speaker 00

  On your portfolio, you know, you bought all the Mickey Mantles and the this and the that. Like it's it's going through the roof and the hobby's just gonna get bigger because now they've opened a Fanatic store, which is tops in Leicester Square. They've opened a PSA, which is the people who register the cards, who grade the cards. They've opened up a grading company.

• 7:17Speaker 01

  Like in terms of quality?

• 7:18Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, they actually put them in the plastic slabs and they go, this one's a ten, this one's a nine. They've opened up that in Frankfurt. Asia's going mad for it because of Shohei Ohtani and all that type of stuff. But the story is this, so at Christmas, the hobby boxes now, it's not the same as buying a packet in the store with a stick of gum and you pay a dollar and then you try to get the cards. Now there's like chase cards, there's rare cards, there's cards that are worth millions of dollars, right? So a hobby box will cost anywhere between six hundred and two thousand dollars for a box of cards. That used to be, would have cost thirty dollars, maybe we could six hundred thousand bucks, right? So I bought my son and me one for Christmas each to open, right? And it's straight up gambling.

• 8:02Speaker 01

  But it's a surprise, you don't know what's in it.

• 8:03Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's not in there, it's straight up gambling, you're tearing packs, looking at cards, hoping you get something, hoping you get something. You can make money off sports cards through buying cards and looking at the market and seeing where that card might go and being strategical and buying Michael Jordan cards over the newest fad, you know? But the boxes, it's gambling, it's you're opening up every, it's the reveal of the unknown, it's the excitement. So a box, a six hundred dollar box is always gonna give you three hundred dollars back in cards, but you might get a card that's worth a thousand bucks, two thousand bucks, whatever. So we opened our two boxes at Christmas and fucking dust might as well come out of these boxes. Nothing, there was nothing going on in these boxes.

• 8:43Speaker 00

  And I had one more box I was gonna take on the road with me or something and my son, it was, he was going back to school and I was like. Okay, let's talk and when we tear open the boxes, we have a bit more of a chat. You know what I mean? So it's a good way to bond with him. And I said, all right, let's open another box. And you have half the cards, I'll have half the cards and, you know, let's talk about you going back to school, right? And I've told him the whole time, you can never make my. We pulled a superfractor, one of one LeBron James helix. That was a fifty six thousand dollar card.

• 9:18Speaker 01

  No.

• 9:19Speaker 00

  Yeah, we put like out of the thing and I was like, and then that was in my pile. Thank God I didn't give it to him. Right? Thank God that wasn't in his pile because if that was in his pile, how could I teach the little bastard the value of a dollar?

• 9:31Speaker 01

  Or go to school.

• 9:32Speaker 00

  Or make him to go to McDonald's to get a job, you know, to learn how to work when he's just got a fifty.

• 9:38Speaker 01

  Or to sell merch for you.

• 9:39Speaker 00

  Yeah, so he said, so, so, but in that box, he also pulled a Cooper flag card worth five thousand dollars. So it all worked out well, but like, so now I think I've talked my son gambling, like I think I've really screwed with him because he just, it happened like.

• 9:55Speaker 01

  Do you remember that store is? That store might be the lucky one, the store you bought it.

• 9:58Speaker 00

  I bought that box off eBay.

• 10:00Speaker 01

  Ah.

• 10:00Speaker 00

  Yeah, so that one just came in, but.

• 10:02Speaker 01

  But it was a mystery box, you had no idea.

• 10:03Speaker 00

  Yeah, no, they're all of them mystery box, you don't know. Yeah, as you said, my son now, he sells merch for me. So I have a, I have a thing in my show that if you go and see, I have groups of people, right? I, I categorize everybody in the world into five different groups. And those groups are good looking men, good looking women, ugly men and ugly women. And then group five is old, right? And group five is just the other four groups meshed into a morpheus blob of unfuckable shit. You're old. Yeah, that's it, right? We all know how the world works, right? These are very broad strokes as well. And then I say, look, you know, who's group number one? So I say, group number one is good looking women, group number two is good looking man. And then I go through all the deep.

• 10:44Speaker 00

  So I sell the group T-shirts on the stand. Now, before you go into the show, you're never gonna buy one of those T-shirts. You are not gonna buy one of those T-shirts because you don't know what it means. It just looks like a footy jersey with a number and my name over the top, right? And you're never gonna buy it. Then I tell the joke and people buy them on the way out. And I said, look, here's the deal. Right? I, I don't want you to go buy an ugly woman T-shirt or an ugly man T-shirt or a good looking woman T-shirt. Where you can choose whatever T-shirt you want. I say, or. My thirteen son, thirteen year old son is working the stand out there and he can choose for you. Right?

• 11:22Speaker 01

  Because he doesn't sell one or the other, he sells it all.

• 11:24Speaker 00

  He sells all.

• 11:25Speaker 01

  Depending what you call, how you qualify yourself.

• 11:27Speaker 00

  And they walk up and he looks them up and down.

• 11:29Speaker 01

  Oh, no.

• 11:30Speaker 00

  And he goes, I'll give you a good looking woman T-shirt. I'll give you.

• 11:34Speaker 00

  But men don't mind getting an ugly T-shirt. They, they wear it with a bit of respect, you know, but I said, just try to be kind to the women. And I go, and I go, and if you give a group five, which is old, I go, make sure they're really old. He goes, oh, so a bit older than you. No, real, like grandad. Like grandad, they have to be grandads.

• 11:51Speaker 01

  My age.

• 11:51Speaker 00

  I, I need, no, it needs to be, like, you wanna make people feel eighty. You need to be eighty before you hand them a group five T-shirt. The eighty year olds aren't under any illusions. I spy now that I find some seventy year olds still think they look very young and they probably do, you know. When I think back.

• 12:07Speaker 01

  Especially in America.

• 12:08Speaker 00

  When I think back to, my grandmother died at seventy three and at the time I thought she looked like a hundred. And then I looked at a photo the other day and she did. She looked like a hundred, right? It's people are aging a lot better. I don't know, you on the peptides?

• 12:23Speaker 01

  Nah.

• 12:24Speaker 00

  What are you, how are you keeping it together?

• 12:25Speaker 01

  Genetics. My old man died at ninety. So he, he went pretty good to ninety. And mum was eighty six. I think it's genetics. I don't even, all that peptide stuff's all bullshit.

• 12:32Speaker 00

  I haven't done peptides or anything like that. I.

• 12:35Speaker 01

  But Americans are all over it.

• 12:36Speaker 00

  They, they, yeah, that is like on every shop corner, every sort of um, skin salon type of place.

• 12:42Speaker 01

  Man, I hear people have peptide, peptide parties.

• 12:44Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 12:45Speaker 01

  They don't go and have cocaine parties anymore or get on the piss.

• 12:48Speaker 00

  No, no, they're all.

• 12:49Speaker 01

  Peptide parties or sauna parties.

• 12:50Speaker 00

  In Hollywood, they're mad for the peptides, yeah.

• 12:53Speaker 01

  L A, California, San Francisco, like all the tech people, all the tech bros, make plenty of money.

• 12:57Speaker 00

  And then you, and then you choose the peptides that you want that's particular to you. And then it's like, how many women have I met in L A and, and I'm only saying this because these, who I've had the interactions with. I'm sure there's men like this as well, who are vegan, uh, yoga, Pilates and peptides.

• 13:17Speaker 01

  And saunas.

• 13:18Speaker 00

  Right? So, so you're vegan because I don't wanna put poison in my body and I wanna thing and then I wanna have a natural way and I wanna breathe some air and I wanna go to a resort. And I wanna go to a sauna and then, and then what's in this peptide? No one knows.

• 13:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:31Speaker 00

  Right, they're straight in with it, right, because of course they're going to inject themselves because anything that's the elixir of young. I've done, I've done Ozempic before I did a movie. I did it for three months before a movie.

• 13:42Speaker 01

  To lose weight.

• 13:43Speaker 00

  To lose weight, yeah, I did it.

• 13:44Speaker 01

  And what was the effect, what, I mean, apart from losing, apart from losing weight, did you feel anything else like?

• 13:48Speaker 00

  Oh, I loved it. I loved it. It was, it was the most, I, I, I, I struggle with food every day. I think about food every day and then, you know, one of my vices, especially since giving up alcohol is, you know, I'll have a little bit of THC and then I'll, I'll just sh- shovel food, right?

• 14:07Speaker 01

  You get the munchies.

• 14:08Speaker 00

  That's my, that's my favorite nighting, you know, if, so the problem with alcohol was, um, alcohol is a confidence, cocaine is a confidence drug, right? I don't think I could have a happy marriage with those drugs in my system. I'd do something stupid. I'd have an affair or something. I'd go out, I'd do something stupid, right? A lot of people go with weed, they go, oh, I don't like weed, it makes me paranoid. That's what I love about it.

• 14:36Speaker 00

  Right? Paranoid people don't make mistakes.

• 14:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, it keeps you under control.

• 14:40Speaker 00

  Paranoid people sit in the corner and go, I better not say anything stupid, right? I used to say stupid things and do stupid things all the time and now I'm too paranoid to do stupid things. So I bring on the paranoia. But what I, what I loved about, um, Monjaro, or that's the one I took, I say Ozempic, but I was on Monjaro. What I liked about it is, um, it takes away impulse and so I never felt more in control. It wasn't that I felt full, I just looked at food and was like, oh, whatever. And so, you know, also like, I'm, I'm not a huge gambler, but I didn't feel like doing that either, didn't just.

• 15:16Speaker 01

  I took away appetite generally.

• 15:18Speaker 00

  It took away any urge.

• 15:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:20Speaker 00

  Took away urges.

• 15:21Speaker 01

  Sex?

• 15:21Speaker 00

  From me. Um, sex was good. I, look, in that time, I did kill six women. Um, which was down from my normal amount. No, a man will say, the joke works either way. Anyway, so, so I, uh, yeah, sex, everything was down. So when I wanna have. Okay, so with the Monjaro, as soon as I ended that, I remember I had two more injections. They're a week in injection. And I thought, I'll save them for some time. I just need to drop five pounds because what it does is it takes away life sparkle. That's why.

• 15:55Speaker 01

  I like depress a bit.

• 15:56Speaker 00

  Not depressed, just everything urges of fun. Things that you're like, oh, I really wanna have that.

• 16:03Speaker 01

  The fuck you wanna take it for?

• 16:04Speaker 00

  I wanna eat a dessert, right? And when you look at a slice of cheesecake and you go, nah, what, what life is that?

• 16:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, totally. It takes all your urges away. Like it generally.

• 16:13Speaker 00

  For me, it took, it took away impulses, right? And so, so it was good. I was working on a movie. I could focus just on acting and lines and stuff like that. And normally I was worrying about my weight and how I was looking and doing silly things before I get on set. Like putting my face in buckets of ice water. You know, that's an old Hollywood trick.

• 16:34Speaker 01

  Paul Newman.

• 16:34Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah. You smash your face and it does and your whole face goes before the scene. You go, all right, I'm good to go. Action. You know, but um, yeah, no, it was, I, I would do it again. And I, I know now that people are going, oh, there might be side effects or whatever. When people say, oh, Ozempic face, when someone has like the, the, their face has gone gaunt, that person has Ozempic face. It's not Ozempic face. It's I've gotten thin really quickly face.

• 17:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:01Speaker 00

  It's not because of the drug. If anyone gets really, really, you know, you, you've never seen someone who's gone on a starvation strike and go Ozempic face.

• 17:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:09Speaker 00

  It's just I've gotten thin too quickly.

• 17:11Speaker 01

  You've been living in America now for how long? How, how many years?

• 17:13Speaker 00

  Eighteen years.

• 17:14Speaker 01

  So what's it like living in the States? Like, uh, I mean, like with Trump and.

• 17:18Speaker 00

  Ame- America right now is, is, uh, it's like being on a roller coaster that you're strapped into. The roller coaster's left the station. You're going up the click, click, click, click, click, and you're starting to like that. And then half the people on the roller coaster going, let me off, let me off. I don't wanna be on this. I don't wanna be, let me off this. And the other half of the people on the roller coaster going.

• 17:41Speaker 01

  How good.

• 17:41Speaker 00

  Yeah. And we're all gonna end up at the same spot in three years and then we'll figure it out again and then we'll get on the roller coaster again.

• 17:48Speaker 01

  So is that volatile?

• 17:50Speaker 00

  It's.

• 17:50Speaker 01

  Literally.

• 17:50Speaker 00

  Okay, so I will say this about.

• 17:54Speaker 00

  I'm more, I, I, I'm, I'm considered crazy left wing in America because I believe in

• 18:02Speaker 00

  safe schools and healthcare, you know, people not getting shot in healthcare, which I, healthcare, I might as well say, and I'm a communist, right? I believe in socialist governments to, I believe in helping our, our Welfare. Welfare, I believe in the welfare system. But in Australia, I'm quite, I'd be considered right wing. I, I, I, I'm, I'm tough on crime. I, not that I'm tough, I'd like people to be tough on crime. I don't stop it. Um, I, I, I don't believe in illegal immigration. I, I, I think the term illegal is in there. I don't think we, and so we, we live on an island where, where that's a lot easier to police than, than a border with, with another country. Um, but what's going on with ICE and everything in America?

• 18:48Speaker 00

  That's real. This isn't like stuff you're seeing on TV and going, going, oh, this is cherry picked little moments. This is, it's real. So just for instance, when it first started happening, I went to my car wash, the whole place is shut down. All the workers had scattered out In LA, in LA. Because, because the ICE had walked into there. I know comedians who are of Mexican or Mexican descent, they, um, their shows were getting less people because ICE were waiting in the car park because this, they knew this would be a mass gathering of Mexican people. Um, so I don't have a problem with getting rid of illegal immigrants, but there has, the problem is that

• 19:30Speaker 00

  they're picking on a certain race of people. They're not going after all illegal immigrants. They're only going after the brown ones, the South Americans and the middle Americans. That's all they're doing. And I know this because one of my good friends in Australia, in, in America, is an Australian bloke who's outstayed his visa for a couple of years. And he's not worried at all. You know? He's not, he's, we're walking down the street, we're, we're watching a Mexican being dragged off a pole by two ICE agents and he jokingly went, do you need any help, boys?

• 20:02Speaker 00

  Right, cause you neither, you haven't seen a Swedish backpacker being dragged down the street by her plats going, it's never happened. It's not, find me the footage. It's, it's, they're going after one.

• 20:16Speaker 01

  But it's full races.

• 20:17Speaker 00

  It's, it's a, I, I believe it's, I don't, I don't believe that inherently people who work for us are racist. I would hate to put that over the whole group of people. There's probably a lot of people there who are working for the right reasons and stuff like that. And it, and it's probably a very tough job, but I believe they've been given a mandate, which isn't fair.

• 20:39Speaker 01

  I, I was, I was looking at something, I can't remember where I saw, saw you doing this, talking about America and, um, what goes on in America. And I saw you saying that, um, you don't mind, um, when people convert from being heterosexual to homosexual.

• 20:57Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 20:57Speaker 01

  But not the other way around. I think the other way around, but like, but, but I, but I just didn't quite understand what was the point you're trying to make.

• 21:04Speaker 00

  What was the point?

• 21:04Speaker 01

  Is it American? Is this?

• 21:05Speaker 00

  Nothing to do with American. That's just the, so I was talking about gay conversion therapy.

• 21:09Speaker 01

  That's it. Gay conversion therapy.

• 21:11Speaker 00

  Gay conversion, conversion therapy, which is done mostly in the South is where you pray, pray, pray into.

• 21:17Speaker 01

  South of where?

• 21:18Speaker 00

  Well, in the South of America, like Alabama and stuff. It's in churches, Baptist churches and stuff like that. And, um, it's where, it's where they try to convert people from being gay to straight. And I don't agree with that, but I do agree with being converted from straight to gay. I just think it would have saved me a lot of time, a lot of money. I'd have an extra house. I'll tell you that much.

• 21:37Speaker 01

  We'd all, I'd have, Mike has a few extra houses. I've got to, but like, but conversion therapy, is that a thing in the United States? Is it like?

• 21:44Speaker 00

  Oh, yes, yes. There's, there's gay conversion therapy. Yes, that's happening.

• 21:48Speaker 01

  But it's for real, not undercover or whatever.

• 21:49Speaker 00

  No, no, no, no, no. There's, um, there's a really good, there's a really good, uh, Russell Crowe, uh, Timothy Chalamet movie where Russell plays his father and it's a true story and it's, it's called About the Boy or this, you'll be able to find it out pretty quickly. But that's a true story about a Baptist minister who had a son who was gay and like kept on going to the conversion therapy and all that type of stuff. And there, there's, there's a documentary on. Uh Netflix and I, um, correct me if it's wrong, but that's the best documentary to watch. It's called maybe Pray Away or something like that.

• 22:28Speaker 00

  And it's all about the whole, there was a whole company that used to, you know, get kids and they'd all sing and they'd feel the voice of God. And all the people who were, you know, I, I used to be a lesbian, but you know, that wasn't right. That was because of something and I wasn't listening to God, right? Every single one of the people that ran the pray away thing, they all went back to being gay.

• 22:51Speaker 01

  Like an exorcism.

• 22:52Speaker 00

  They all went back, the people who it's, who was stopping the people from being gay, they all went back to gay and there's no one left.

• 22:58Speaker 01

  Cause I know, I, I noticed you want to pick the, the YMCA song. And you're allowed to talk about it?

• 23:03Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 23:03Speaker 01

  I think because like they, they got some sort of uh cease and desist.

• 23:06Speaker 00

  So I got, I got um told that I was going to be sued for defamation if I continued to talk about. So on a podcast with Amos Gill, my podcast I do with him called the ATM podcast. We were talking about when Trump during the inauguration had the village people play the YMCA. And he did that dance that looks like he's wanking two cocks off to his face.

• 23:28Speaker 01

  That's it.

• 23:29Speaker 00

  And I said, uh, I said, isn't it funny that all these right wing evangelical Christians are dancing to the YMCA? A song about men bumming in the showers, right? That's, that's where the words are sort of at. Young man, if you're down on your dough, there's a place you can go, you can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal, you can do whatever you feel. I said, young man, don't you listen, it's a, it's, it's probably more about teenage male prostitution, if we're to be correct. Anyway, so um I said that the YMCA was about homosexuality. And then the next day I get a, a letter from a lady called Karen Willis and Karen Willis is a lawyer, but she's married to Victor Willis. And Victor Willis is the cop from the village people. And before that he was married to Felicia Rashad, right? So who was Mrs. Huxtable from the Cosby show. So she, she hangs out with the best guys, doesn't she?

• 24:14Speaker 00

  And um, so what happened there was um Victor's not gay, Victor writes most of the songs. But yeah, surely he knew about the others, right? Surely, surely he turned around occasionally and saw the biker in the leather chaps, you know, who incidentally died from AIDS in the nineties, right? The, the, the band was a gay band. I always liked that about them, that they were fun and campy and all that type of stuff. And as a kid, you could watch it and go, oh, this is brilliant. They're all dressed in different outfits and, you know, they were never in your face about it. They were just disco music and good music as well, you know? So, so I get this cease and desist letter, I ring her up and all that stuff now. Sadly, um, at the time, right now, I don't know when this is being released,

• 24:57Speaker 00

  but sadly, whilst I was flying over to Australia, uh, Victor Willis suddenly died. The, the, the cop from the Village People has just passed away. So, I, you know, case closed, I guess, but, you know, I, I kind of enjoyed, so I ring Karen up and I go, I go, g'day Karen, I said, I don't wanna, you know, be any trouble. And she goes, you can't go wrong, go around saying that the, the YMCA is about men bonging in the showers. And I said, bonging in the showers? I said, bumming Karen? And she goes, what does bumming mean? I said, if you don't know what that means, why the fuck are you suing me? And I said, I, I said, I've always liked that it was a gay anthem. And she went, you're right, it is a gay anthem, but it's also a bar mitzvah anthem,

• 25:41Speaker 00

  a wedding anthem, a high school graduation anthem. It's whatever anthem you want it to be. And I was like, oh, I want it to be the gay one, right? Now, I do have some remorse about this because I, I didn't know that Victor had a illness where he died quite quickly because whilst I was, had this cease and desist letter, um, Donald Trump came out and said, I can't do the impersonation, but he said, uh, he said, oh, I did great with the gays. I did great with the gay vote because I kept on playing the gay national anthem. Right now, the reason that Victor wanted to sue me was because he was getting all that MAGA money and he wanted to distance himself from the homosexual part of it. Oh, wow. Right? So he was like, no, none of the songs are about homosexuality.

• 26:24Speaker 00

  And then Trump goes and calls it the gay national anthem. So I did ring up Karen and go, I said, I just wanna talk about the gay. And she hung up on me. And now, I don't know, I don't know if he was sick then or anything. I hope not. I hope I wasn't causing any trouble to her day because, uh, I, I, I, look, she's, they, they sent me the letter. It's ridic, being told that you're going to be sued. For saying that the Village People are gay is the equivalent of being sued for saying that water is wet.

• 26:53Speaker 01

  And the defence would be what they call the truth defence. And then all you have to do is prove that that that that it's the truth and you're not you're not going to be sued for defamation.

• 27:01Speaker 00

  Well, but also it's it's art, it's open to interpretation.

• 27:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:05Speaker 00

  So I said, so I said, look, okay, okay, fine, the YMCA isn't about homosexuality. I don't want to get sued. And I said, but in the Navy, you've got to give me in the Navy. You can't give me in the Navy. And she goes, in the Navy is just about men joining the Navy. And I said, I know, one of the lyrics is we need more semen. Like, what are we doing? What are we doing? Like, I'm not, I'm not homophobic, I've got no, I, and you know what? Because I had that phone call with her and I wanted to get lyrics from songs and stuff like that, and I wanted to actually have a, you know, a, a, a conversation with her and I wanted to be prepared. That week I started listening to the Village People and then it hasn't stopped since. I hadn't listened to the Village People in thirty years. And I was like.

• 27:49Speaker 01

  I reckon they're great, though.

• 27:49Speaker 00

  They're great. I mean, they they had more hits than you thought.

• 27:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:53Speaker 00

  I come out on stage now to Macho Man, the place loses their shit.

• 27:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:58Speaker 00

  I walk up to the microphone, the bit that goes, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. And it's just, it builds up the whole audience, right? And it's just, and that, that's another one. That's just a video clip of men just doing arm curls, right? Shirtless men. And I said, come on, Macho Man's pretty gay, Karen. And she goes, that's, I go, I go, what's that about? She goes, that's just about men working out in the gym. And I said, what is, what about the women? There's no women in the song. And she goes, women didn't work out in the gyms in the seventies.

• 28:26Speaker 01

  It's a good answer for everything.

• 28:27Speaker 00

  Fucking good answer.

• 28:27Speaker 01

  But but but why do you think Trump chooses it? I mean, you're an observer of things like this.

• 28:31Speaker 00

  It's Trump's favourite song.

• 28:34Speaker 01

  By tune, by tune.

• 28:35Speaker 00

  By tune, it's his favourite song that when he was in nightclubs and stuff, because you could do a dance with it.

• 28:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 28:41Speaker 00

  Right? And and he said on a few podcasts, they said, oh, what gets people out in the dance for? He goes, the YMCA, it's a great song, great song, the YMCA, that's the best one. That is type of stuff. And I, I, I hear, um, the YMCA is mentioned on the Epstein files, like forty seven, no, I just made that up.

• 29:01Speaker 00

  I can, I can imagine him and Bill Gates and Stephen Hawking swirling around and the thing all dancing to it. But, uh, yeah, no, I, I, um, uh, he says that's, look, Donald Trump, he liked.

• 29:15Speaker 00

  Meeting women and going out and stuff and he reckons that's the song that gets everyone out on the dance floor. So.

• 29:20Speaker 01

  Well, it's interesting you should say that because as you're talking about presidents, prime ministers and famous people, I'm thinking about our prime minister more recently. Um, being asked a question about, um, would Kylie Minogue, uh, Rhonda Birchmore or somebody else.

• 29:32Speaker 00

  I just did Nikki Osborne's pod. I did the next podcast. I don't know if it's, so I did. And so I, I was just talking to Nikki. So she's like.

• 29:41Speaker 01

  How good she got him good.

• 29:42Speaker 00

  I don't know if it's, well, okay. I'm not, I'm not, I, I can't vote in this country because I'm not a resident. So, um, I don't have any skin in the game as much, but you know, I, I watched your podcast with Dave Hughes.

• 29:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:56Speaker 00

  And we'll go back to the Kylie thing in a second, right? I, I agree with Dave, right? I agree. The taxes have gone too high. I believe the income tax, um, that, that, um, that, that, that taxing capital gains before that money has been acquired is the same as going to a blackjack table and after every hand just nicking a bit.

• 30:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:14Speaker 00

  But I haven't left the table yet. Oh yeah, but you're doing all right. Right? And the, the one like inheritance tax, that's crazy. That money's already been taxed. And they do that one in America as well, right? But the other one, the capital gains one, they don't, they don't do. But what I find weird is whenever like Dave Hughes speaks up and he was getting abused online.

• 30:35Speaker 01

  Oh, big time.

• 30:36Speaker 00

  Abused. Stay in your lane. Stay in your lane.

• 30:39Speaker 01

  What is his lane?

• 30:40Speaker 00

  Yeah, exactly. Stay in your lane. And you're like, you're a comedian. Well, he wa, he wasn't funny in your interview.

• 30:45Speaker 01

  Nah, he was full on.

• 30:46Speaker 00

  He was talking about it. We have freedom of speech. We, this is the thing. No one stays in their lane anymore. Right? I used to be able to go perform a show and think that went well. And now I have to hear from everyone whether they liked it or not. That was shit. That was good. This was right. Everyone gives opinions on fucking everything. You would never tell a lawyer or an accountant or a baker or a plumber, stay in your lane. Right?

• 31:12Speaker 00

  Also, so you just saying stay in your lane to another human is not them staying in their lane. If you're a plumber and you're like going, you shouldn't comment on fucking politics. You don't know what you're talking about. This should you buy the same fucking thing. You're not a politician. We're all gonna make comments moving forward. And so I like the fact that he put his balls out there and he was passionate about something. And if people wanna call him a flog or whatever, or this, it's, you know, it's very difficult to to make, change people's minds, but I'm I'm on team Hughes for that one. Now going back to the Kylie Minogue of the whole thing, I'm not a big Albo guy, right? But I respect the office, you know, I'm I'm gonna, I'm gonna go play uh some cricket there for the celebrity cricket game.

• 31:56Speaker 00

  I'm well up for it, right? Um, uh, I will stick up for Albo on this one. What was he meant to say? What was his other option? Was his other option was, no, I wouldn't fuck Kylie? Right? He would get sleep, marry, kill, I'd shag Kylie. I don't know if he said the term shag.

• 32:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, shag was the word.

• 32:17Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'd shag Kylie.

• 32:18Speaker 01

  She she used the word shag.

• 32:19Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, shag, marry, kill. And he goes, oh, I shag Kylie. What was his other option? I wouldn't shag any of them. That's what, is that what you wanna hear? You wanna hear like, like, we want our politicians to be more personable. We want them to be people that we can relate to. We've all played that game. Shag, marry, kill. We've all played it. It's it's it's, you know, something's been happening for the last twenty years is this game that we all play and has been asked a thousand podcasts. What what would you rather him said? Oh, I prefer Danny.

• 32:50Speaker 00

  You know, or or he could have been really offensive. Oh, I would have shagged Kylie when she was a bit younger, not now. Imagine if he said that? Then the news would have been like, PM says he wouldn't shag Kylie in current state.

• 33:03Speaker 01

  She's too old.

• 33:04Speaker 00

  Yeah, she's too old. Anything past spinning around, that was her last big song. Yeah, anything past that I wouldn't go for. But right up from locomotion till then, she was very shagable in that period.

• 33:18Speaker 01

  I know, I will.

• 33:19Speaker 00

  So like, if, if, if he said, ah, Rhonda Birchmore is the one I said, I think they would have been a bit more lenient on him.

• 33:28Speaker 01

  Cause she's a bit older.

• 33:29Speaker 00

  She's a bit older.

• 33:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:30Speaker 00

  But because he went Kylie, they went, oh.

• 33:34Speaker 00

  Like, like I've, I've heard, like people, there's been rumours about this guy not being straight and that he got married quite late in life. There's always rumours about.

• 33:42Speaker 01

  About Elba?

• 33:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 33:43Speaker 01

  Serious?

• 33:44Speaker 00

  Yeah, but there's always.

• 33:46Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 33:46Speaker 00

  Always online, there's rumours about everything.

• 33:48Speaker 01

  But he'd been married before.

• 33:49Speaker 00

  Yeah, he, he, yeah, why didn't that work out?

• 33:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:52Speaker 00

  Um, no, I, I don't think this, this is not my opinion, I'm just saying you can't win. You can't win. If the guy said nothing, um, he would have been seen as this weak, wishy washy fellow who's not up.

• 34:04Speaker 01

  Avoided the question.

• 34:05Speaker 00

  Not up for a bit of fun.

• 34:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:07Speaker 00

  Right? He does something that's a bit of fun and this is just people wanting to pick on nothing. So I'll defend him till the end on this one. So let's go through it, it's me and you, let's do it. All right? So, so, uh, shag, marry, kill, right? And you've, you've interviewed him, right? Now, you're gonna have to have sex with him, but it's, we've only had one female prime minister, so we're gonna go John Howard, Paul Keating, Albanese, shag, marry, kill. What have you got for me?

• 34:39Speaker 01

  It's a hard choice.

• 34:40Speaker 00

  It's a hard choice. Well, it's a soft choice really in the end. You'd have to, you need a blue tablet to get it over the line.

• 34:45Speaker 01

  I would definitely be soft.

• 34:48Speaker 01

  Probably, uh, probably Johnny Howard.

• 34:51Speaker 00

  Johnny Howard's the shag? Or, oh, I see, I'd marry Johnny, cause I think he would just have little hobbies and you, you, you, you'd get to have time apart from.

• 34:59Speaker 01

  But I just say, I read him just once. He wouldn't have to worry about it again.

• 35:03Speaker 00

  Yeah, but then what, what are you gonna?

• 35:04Speaker 01

  Cause he wants to watch cricket. I'll have to watch cricket.

• 35:05Speaker 00

  Yeah, then what are you gonna marry bloody Keating and sit around with his little fancy clocks?

• 35:09Speaker 01

  Keating be smart, he's smart, he's smart.

• 35:10Speaker 00

  His little clocks and he's just.

• 35:12Speaker 01

  I don't wanna look at his grandfather clocks, but, but Keating, intellect should be good, it'd be fun.

• 35:16Speaker 00

  Right, so, so when you watch the telly, you can turn to Keating every now and again and go, yeah, all right.

• 35:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're just annoying.

• 35:23Speaker 00

  So, so you're killing Albanese, so that's where we know it used to.

• 35:26Speaker 01

  Sorry, Elba. And it is funny, you know, that, that, because it's comedians can get away with so much. That that that that process, what you just did then.

• 35:36Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 35:36Speaker 01

  You can get away with that and Nicky Oswald can get away with it too, but it just sort of back backfired pretty hard on on the prime minister. What is it about comedians being able to get away with stuff, for example, but whereas Carl Seveno can't, he's supposed to be a journalist.

• 35:49Speaker 00

  Yeah, so he's a jo- well, see, see, I got more troubles when I was had a political talk show because then everyone took all my jokes very seriously. And then I ceased to be a comedian and a member of the media and that was a much harder time. And then, but with comedy, I find the the best way to not get cancelled is to flood the market with outrageous statements. Right? So if someone tries to get you at one point, you go, I did this, this, this, this, this, this. It's like the thing, other people would have gotten in more trouble for that rugby league thing than I got in trouble for.

• 36:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:20Speaker 00

  But at the end of the day, it's like.

• 36:21Speaker 01

  You're a comedian, you're okay.

• 36:22Speaker 00

  I'm a guy swears, I'm a guy swears and that that's always been me thing and I've I've never marketed myself any differently.

• 36:29Speaker 01

  But is it just when there's also, you say, you talk about controversial things too, like I mean, I've heard parts of some of your stuff like Hitler, some people go, oh, God, you can't talk about Hitler. Um, and I know your your most recent tour, I think you wanted to have a different name for it.

• 36:40Speaker 00

  I had, yeah, I wanted to call one of them Hitler. I I was toying around with names for this tour because you wanna get noticed. Now, my tour is called Son of a Carpenter, um, because my dad's a carpenter, I do a little bit of religious humour in there and stuff like that.

• 36:52Speaker 01

  I thought there was a piss day from um Trump putting that photograph of him.

• 36:55Speaker 00

  That's the whole thing I I say when when I've got the angel wings, I go, that's just a picture of me being a doctor. Um, but yeah, so I I always liked to, I wanted to, I wanted to call my last special Hitler because I thought it would get noticed.

• 37:08Speaker 01

  He's on Netflix.

• 37:08Speaker 00

  Yeah, Netflix. We ended up on Tooling Policy. I was toying around with, because of all the controversy that's happening in Australia. I don't have a lot of skin in the game when it comes to this subject, so I don't wanna be told that I'm saying the wrong thing here, but I I I got told this would get me in too much trouble, but I wanted to call the the the tour From the River to the Seaward.

• 37:32Speaker 01

  This current tour, the one you were in Australia?

• 37:35Speaker 00

  I've been told that that won't, that won't happen. We have a little thing at the beginning of, of the, of the tour at the moment where I, I, I like to just take the piss out of little sacred cows, just enough to get in this much trouble. So I do, I do an acknowledgement at the beginning of the show, a voice. So there's a voiceover acknowledgement where I got a voice artist to actually read it out for me. And it's, um, it's, uh, welcome to country. And I go, this show is for cunts, past, present and emerging. Sit back and enjoy the show.

• 38:09Speaker 01

  How'd it go at Emmer?

• 38:10Speaker 00

  Oh, it crushes. It crushes every time, every time it plays, it, it, it, it, it's, I'm getting laughs. I'm not even on the stage yet. You know, it's fantastic. It's just an extra routine that doesn't even, you know, I, I, I, I've never been, now we're getting into, I talked about this just with Nikki as well. I don't know how I've gotten on this subject, but, but the, I've never, I sort of always thought, welcome to country was a bit silly. I just thought it was a bit of a silly thing for, for us to, it's one thing to do before sporting events when there's international people that are coming in and we want to do a landing acknowledgement, but I, I, I work extensively in Canada and they do it a little bit with the Inuits and America doesn't do any, any acknowledgements whatsoever,

• 38:53Speaker 00

  um, of, of Native American Indians, um, before things or anything like that. And it's not needed. And the reason it's not needed, and this, this will get me in a probably trouble, but hopefully just a little bit. Um, uh, it's because they've, they've somewhat fixed it in America. We haven't fixed it out here. They've made a deal, right? We're here in Australia. We're, we're further back with all becoming one than we ever have been.

• 39:19Speaker 01

  Well, more so now than ever.

• 39:20Speaker 00

  More so now than ever. And we've apologised and we've done welcome to country and all type of stuff. You can only apologise so much. There's like, of course we need to remember the Aboriginals' history. We have to acknowledge the plight that they've been through and, and, and, and, and the misjustice that has been given to them. Of course, that's a thing, but we can't, doing welcome to country and apologising is doing fuck all. It isn't doing anything to fix the situation. There's not an Aboriginal who sits in the theatre of a comedy show and hears welcome to country and goes, oh, good.

• 39:54Speaker 01

  Thank God.

• 39:55Speaker 00

  Oh, good. This is, this is all feel better. If you wanna fix it, if you wanna fix the issue, compensation is the only way to do it. In any argument, someone has to have an apology and then compensation has to be handed over.

• 40:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:10Speaker 00

  So, so if you wanna fix Aboriginal relations in this country, do exactly what they did in America. Because I work in Indian casinos, I've, I've worked in over forty Indian casinos all over the country, right? And they are flourishing.

• 40:26Speaker 01

  So how, how do they compensate them over there?

• 40:28Speaker 00

  So on the reservations.

• 40:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:30Speaker 00

  You're allowed to build a business that is tax free. And that, so let's make it even simpler, no reservations. Let's say any Aboriginal who are one sixteenth and under don't have to pay tax anymore. If you open a business, you're tax free. And I believe by doing this, you could probably get rid of twenty government bodies that are all about helping and fixing the things and all that type of stuff that we're already paying money to. Right? So if they can open casinos, shops, whatever, any business they want tax free. Tax free.

• 40:59Speaker 01

  Perfect. That's not a bad model.

• 41:01Speaker 00

  And I don't think, and, and people will call me racist for saying this. I'm saying that the Aboriginals shouldn't have to pay taxes. How can that be racist? And then you go, they could open casinos like the, like the, the Indians or the Native Americans and the Inuits do in North America. And then people will say, oh, so you wanna.

• 41:20Speaker 01

  Push them into gambling.

• 41:21Speaker 00

  Push them into gambling. We have to stop treating them like they're children. We have to go, we apologize, everything was wrong that we did with the stolen generation was one hundred percent wrong. But we have to move forward to becoming one. And if we have to do one, there has to be something more than words, cause all we've been doing is bloody words.

• 41:41Speaker 01

  So we're bullshitting them.

• 41:42Speaker 00

  We're just, we're, we're trying to peace, welcome to country, here's the thing, skywriting the words, sorry, as people walk over the harbour. It's all very nice, but it does fuck all.

• 41:52Speaker 01

  It's all window dressing.

• 41:53Speaker 00

  It's all, it's all, so, so just, that's the simplest one, that's the simplest one, just no more taxes. And if you can't make a go at it. Without paying taxes, then we have to work on figure something else out. Or if you're still, cause what, we're still gonna be angry in another hundred years. We're gonna be angry, angry in another hundred years. The world is always was gonna become a global place where everyone was gonna live. There was no country that was gonna be left on earth that one race just existed in. And so it wouldn't be like that now. So the way that it happened, sure, terrible, you don't want that. It's a very dark part of Australia's history. And it should have, there should be statues and there should be museums and it should be taught in school. And we should know about that, but we have to move forward.

• 42:35Speaker 01

  So it's interesting, you said something about division, you know, like the world has sort of become divided a lot. You know, left, right, you know. And, and just about every aspect, you know, economically, everything. Why do you think, or where do you think, I mean, you've got kids, young kids. What do you think of the future for everybody?

• 42:55Speaker 00

  I, I, I'm not, I, I'm not sure in the AI, I've never really used AI in any way. I haven't used it to like do the chat GTP or anything.

• 43:03Speaker 01

  You don't use it for anything for shows?

• 43:05Speaker 00

  I don't use it for anything. I hardly turn on a computer. I'm a, I'm a stone age guy, man. I just, you know, I don't really write me jokes down. I, I, I, that's just, I, I like to sort of keep in, in me own personal world, you know, and uh, I'm worried about what that will do for jobs, cause I've seen what that's doing to the business that I work in.

• 43:24Speaker 01

  The creators are getting hurt.

• 43:26Speaker 00

  In acting and movies and stuff like that. And I can see this is getting worse and worse and worse. And I know people who are losing their jobs now and everyone just going, oh, it's just a tool we're gonna use and a thing. I don't, you know, I, will the world become like Terminator? Probably not, but maybe.

• 43:43Speaker 01

  Ooh, you're living in a simulation?

• 43:45Speaker 00

  Well, yeah, yeah, like, so I, I just worry about what jobs will be available for my children. Not whether they will be capable or whether the industries will get too competitive for them to whatever. But what jobs will they actually have? Where, where will we, because, because it was, it was easy before.

• 44:06Speaker 00

  Okay, so, so in entertainment, for whatever reason, entertainers get more trouble for nepotism than any other business.

• 44:15Speaker 01

  Really?

• 44:15Speaker 00

  Yeah, whenever you see an actor or something in a movie, you go, oh, nepotism, Johnny Depp's daughter, Dakota Fanning, you know what I mean? You say, oh, the nepotism, nepotism, it's blah, blah, blah's kid, it's da, da, da's kid. Yet, if you see a truck of a plumber and it says Davis and Sons, you're like, good on him. Got his bloody boys into the business and they're all bloody working together. You get a law firm that is Williams, Williams and, and, and, you know, like whatever, right? Williams, you don't go, oh, fucking Williams, getting his son in the business, right? But with entertainment, this is one of the problems. So you as a businessman, you can teach your children how to be a businessman. I'm fucking working on a sports card collection, right?

• 45:01Speaker 00

  I, I tell jokes and, you know, and do a bit of acting. I can't teach my children, I, I, I've invested well, I think, and I've done little things right and lots of stuff. But there's nothing for me to teach them if they wanna go into other fields. And it used to be you could just go to university or whatever. So now I'm like, if I could help get my sons a leg up in show business, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it because that's the only, only field that I know to work in. Now sadly, I think that that field's going away. The only thing that I would say, if you have a lot of money, like a lot of money, that you should invest in, and I know I've got a, someone who, not a friend, someone I'm friendly with who's a billionaire.

• 45:44Speaker 00

  Um, uh, and he invest, he, he was talking to me about this, is, is sports. Sports is going to be the only arena left where we're always going to watch human beings.

• 45:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, totally.

• 45:56Speaker 00

  We're, we're, we're never going to accept A I sports. We're never going to accept robot sports, right?

• 46:02Speaker 01

  Oh, I don't know, I'd watch a running race, a couple of robots.

• 46:04Speaker 00

  But part of it is seeing ourselves, the humanity of the thing, the injuries, the this, the that. How far can we press ourselves? Once we see an athlete. Is doing something that we haven't seen before that inspires human beings, right? Shohei Ohtani is now better than Babe Ruth. And Babe Ruth was always gonna be the greatest of all time. And we thought no one could ever come close. And now we've got a guy that's exceeded what he's done. Mind you, Babe Ruth only played in the white leagues. He didn't even play against a Dominican person, you know, so we we never know how he would have been if he played against every other race.

• 46:43Speaker 01

  Speaking of which, you been watching the footy?

• 46:44Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 46:45Speaker 01

  For the football, I'm talking about soccer.

• 46:46Speaker 00

  The soccer is, I went and saw Australia versus uh Turkey. And I was at the Australian American game as well. And I've been watching all the other ones. I I I I the the Egypt game has stuffed me up all week because I never got me bloody body clock right. Because I'm waking up four o'clock in the morning to see a whole lot of Egyptians rolling around, holding their shins. I ne- I've watched a lot of football, a lot of football, and that was the most, oh, huh. Like, those cunts couldn't have built a pyramid. None of them, none of them, they would have gotten a pe- pebble and dropped it on their foot on the first fucking day. If those pricks were making, if they were on that field, were making fucking pyramids, all the hieroglyphics would have been blokes rolling around, holding their fucking shins.

• 47:30Speaker 00

  Like, i- i- i- that game pro- proved to me that there are aliens. Cause they couldn't have done it without fucking aliens.

• 47:37Speaker 01

  But you you it was as good as the Italians were in uh, what, the two thousand and four or whenever it was, when um.

• 47:43Speaker 00

  Two thousand, two thousand and six, when when Lucas Neil, I was at that game as well.

• 47:47Speaker 01

  I was there too.

• 47:47Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, so.

• 47:48Speaker 01

  In Berlin.

• 47:48Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 47:49Speaker 01

  I was in.

• 47:49Speaker 00

  I I.

• 47:50Speaker 01

  Not in Berlin, it was in Germany, I can't remember which city.

• 47:52Speaker 00

  In two thousand and six, I went to Germany, I I had.

• 47:57Speaker 01

  Mark Schwartz missed the goal.

• 47:59Speaker 00

  Maybe twenty thousand pounds in my bank account and coming from a working class family, I I might as well have been a millionaire. I had twenty thousand pounds I'd saved up, like, I was set for life. And so I rang up and my mother was always, she wanted to come out to England and this, that and the other. But she was hard work and I thought, this is a good chance for me to just have my father come and visit me. And for me and him to do something together where my mother wouldn't complain because she don't wanna go to the World Cup in Germany. So in two thousand and six, I I paid for me dad to come out with that money. And we we I I spent about half of it in tickets and hotels and stuff like that. And and it was.

• 48:45Speaker 00

  The, one of the greatest memories of my life.

• 48:47Speaker 01

  Were you with the Italian guy?

• 48:48Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, I don't, I don't.

• 48:49Speaker 01

  When the dude fell over in front, in the box.

• 48:52Speaker 00

  Lucas, Lucas O'Neil, yeah, Lucas O'Neil.

• 48:53Speaker 01

  And Mark Schwartz, Schwartz had, went the opposite direction for the free kick.

• 48:57Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, I, I, the Croatia game, the Croatia game, standing next to my father when we drew with Croatia to get through our pool. Harry Kill's goal was offside, by the way, but what, but what, like by today's standards, it wouldn't have been a goal. But, and then they played, shook me all night long and the team came out and tears in me eyes and that was something so. As soon as the World Cup was in, was in America, I said to my son, I said, all right, as soon as school holidays start, we're following the socceroo's around, right? And my son's American with an Australian passport and I, I didn't want to push him and I just said, look,

• 49:34Speaker 00

  you can, you can follow whoever you want, mate. I said, uh, you know, you want to follow America, you follow America, you want to follow Australia, you follow Australia, whatever you want. And I just, and then he put on the green and gold and he went, come on dad, let's go.

• 49:46Speaker 01

  Let's go.

• 49:47Speaker 00

  Let's go. And we went and like, he hadn't seen many soccer games, many football games in his life. Uh, if any, I don't think, you know, I started like trying to make him listen to podcasts on the way to school about the Australian team. And like, he wasn't really interested and I went, oh, this might be a bit of a flop. Because I was already living in England as a football fan. My dad was a huge football fan. And so my dad watches more soccer than any old Australian bloke going. He lived in, in London in the nineteen sixties, big Chelsea fan.

• 50:13Speaker 01

  FA Cup final.

• 50:14Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, yeah. My, my, my father was at the World Cup final in nineteen sixty six where, where England won the World Cup.

• 50:21Speaker 01

  That was the last time.

• 50:22Speaker 00

  Yeah. And that same day, I believe it was that day with the FA Cup, he, he went to the World Cup final and then he watched Cassius Clay fight. In the same day, right? And we had, growing up in our house, my, my father had, I think it was the Mirror or the Sun, whatever newspaper it was. He had the front page of the Newcastle from nineteen six, um, from the newspaper from nineteen sixty six. So it was always part of, of growing up for me was the World Cup. And um so so my son goes out and then I and then that turkey game was magic. It was magic. He he he was excited. He was this, the two goals, they're against the run of play. We didn't look like the better team, but we sort of, we did it on the breakaway the whole time.

• 51:04Speaker 00

  Fast break play, like going through. And then I thought, oh, he enjoyed that. And I knew he really enjoyed it because uh we were, we were getting set for the America versus Australia game, right? And then uh and then as soon as they named the lineup, my son was like this, what, he's not playing Medkar for Iran Akunda? Hey, scored our two goals. He went, Popovich has lost his mind.

• 51:29Speaker 01

  Straight on it.

• 51:30Speaker 00

  Yeah. And that was from a kid who had watched one game of football.

• 51:33Speaker 01

  How old is he? How old is he?

• 51:33Speaker 00

  Thirteen.

• 51:34Speaker 01

  Thirteen, wow.

• 51:34Speaker 00

  Thirteen, but now he had all the opinions. Popovich had lost his mind.

• 51:38Speaker 01

  It's not like Donald Trump after he saw that um that that fool, the American boy, got the red card for.

• 51:43Speaker 00

  That was, that was the dumbest thing he could have done. He's done some dumb things in his day. But overturning a red card when no other nation can overturn a red card, you better fucking win that game. Because all you did was make everyone a Belgian fan.

• 51:56Speaker 01

  Might have lost four one or something.

• 51:57Speaker 00

  Yeah, they got, they got destroyed. It could have been seven.

• 52:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 52:00Speaker 00

  Right? And it, and it was like, everyone became a Belgian fan because that's even, even if you say, oh, that's not a red card. If that didn't deserve a red card, you, the other teams don't get that grace of overturn a red card. It sets a precedent. So, so what, we can get an overturn red card now, can we? No, we can't. So it's like FIFA are already for the last, you know, probably eighty years have been dealing with people saying they're corrupt. And once again, they proved it. And Donald Trump with the drain the swamp, drain the swamp. There's a reason that the bloody reflecting pool is green and filled with algae because it's reflecting the fucking country.

• 52:43Speaker 01

  I, I do want to ask you a bit more serious question.

• 52:45Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 52:46Speaker 01

  You, I want to ask you about your nephew.

• 52:47Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, okay.

• 52:48Speaker 01

  The one who died.

• 52:49Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 52:50Speaker 01

  Um, first, could you explain, here's your nephew, is your brother's kid, your sister's kid?

• 52:54Speaker 00

  He's my, he's my brother's eldest boy. It was my, it was my eldest nephew, Lieutenant Max Nudgen. And uh he um uh he's a great kid.

• 53:05Speaker 01

  What did he die from?

• 53:08Speaker 00

  Oh, I, he, he's uh, he was one of the.

• 53:12Speaker 00

  He was one of the uh the four uh soldiers in the helicopter that crashed at the Wood Sundays.

• 53:18Speaker 01

  More, that's it, it's a couple of years ago now, isn't it?

• 53:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 53:21Speaker 01

  And and you've been pretty vocal about it though.

• 53:23Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 53:24Speaker 01

  You're not happy with the the final result.

• 53:26Speaker 00

  Look, the the it was industrial manslaughter and there's no ifs, no buts about this. And this isn't me saying.

• 53:32Speaker 01

  A forty a forty cop helicopter, what?

• 53:34Speaker 00

  Well, here's here's the thing. So so the helicopter crashes, I I I I I I find it funny, you've got to laugh about things in a certain way. So I find it funny that when I explain to Americans how my my my nephew died, they always are almost about to laugh because it sounds like the most Australian death on earth. I go, he crashed a helicopter near the Great Barrier Reef where his remains were eaten by sharks. Like, on Australian deaths, that's right up there. Um, so it wasn't the helicopter. If you watch, there's a there's a sixty minute story. So this isn't me just, I'm not a conspiracy theorist. Or just giving my opinion on this. This is, these are the facts.

• 54:14Speaker 01

  This was investigated.

• 54:15Speaker 00

  These are the facts, right? Helicopter crashes into the water. They were flying at very low range during a night where it was raining far too much. The we they were doing the war games with the American soldiers and with the British soldiers. All of their soldiers decided to stay back. The Australian guys went, we'll fucking show them what we're gonna do. So the the guys didn't have enough sleep. Then they were in the helicopter like this. The helicopters crashed. The next day, the Australian government buries and removes over forty Type N helicopters in an undisclosed location.

• 54:48Speaker 01

  I remember that, yeah.

• 54:49Speaker 00

  It's this stinks. Like, what they just got rid of.

• 54:52Speaker 01

  Because I thought to myself, maybe I would have bought one from them if they didn't want to use them anymore.

• 54:55Speaker 00

  The Ukraine asked them, asked for them.

• 54:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, I remember that too. I do remember that.

• 54:59Speaker 00

  The Ukraine asked for them. The Ukraine asked for them. So they get rid of these helicopters, right? Because they think there's something faulty. Because if you remember, maybe six months earlier or something, there was another Type N helicopter that dropped into the water. And then the other Type N helicopter came and rescued all the soldiers who jumped out before it happened. My nephew was flying that other helicopter. He was he was part of the helicopter that rescued the guys from that accident, right? So they get rid of all the helicopters. They think it's something wrong with the helicopters. It's from what I can tell, it's not as much that something's wrong with the helicopters. But Australia, for whatever reason, so we could feel good about ourselves, wanted to to give a lot more tech jobs. So we buy these helicopters that have been working all around the world.

• 55:42Speaker 00

  They've been working perfectly. We buy them in a very rough shape, like just a very basic version of the helicopter. And then we go, we'll put our own technology in there, you know, we're gonna put in the. So the night owl helmets, which is everything to the pilot, took their whole face over, right? The whole face, everything's, everything's like this, this all your readings.

• 56:03Speaker 01

  There's a screen, everything.

• 56:04Speaker 00

  There's a screen and it's your reading, it's your dials and it's everything's like this. They're not using the outside world. Well, it turns out that in wet weather, uh, these helmets invert their readings. Right? And so the raindrops and stuff throw it, throw it out and they invert and they make, and that's major, right? So down means up and up means down. Now, my nephew wasn't the pilot. Um, and I feel sorry for the family of the actual pilot because that's a bit of a heavier weight. I was nervous when the helicopter went down because there was two pilots, he was one of them, the other two lads were in the back. And so you don't, you don't want it to be him who did that.

• 56:49Speaker 00

  I feel sorry for the other bloke, cause I, I, I've, I've listened to the black box a lot.

• 56:56Speaker 01

  Oh, really?

• 56:57Speaker 00

  And, and you, you wanna hear the last thing he said, you know? And he's, he's just like, oh, it's getting a bit dicey, uh, but he's trying to warn the other bloke that he thought it was going down. But because he was, he's seen, he didn't wanna say too much.

• 57:11Speaker 01

  Can't they just take that, that helmet off?

• 57:13Speaker 00

  It, it, it's pitch dark. This is night vision. This is the only way they can see. There's no headlights on the thing. It's pitch dark. So they go in, the, the helicopter smashes. So the night owl, there was, there was test pilots that had tested these helmets. Years earlier, before the Australian government said they would put them into play, years earlier, and they said categorically that this will end in industrial manslaughter. Not might happen, this will end in industrial manslaughter.

• 57:43Speaker 01

  Emphatically.

• 57:43Speaker 00

  Yep, and it did. And then one of those test pilots, he was pushed out because they wanted him to stop talking. And so now he's gotten up and spoke, very brave. And duh.

• 57:58Speaker 00

  So there's.

• 57:59Speaker 01

  What is it, the unfairness? Is the lack of justice? Is it unjust? What is it? Apart from the.

• 58:05Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's, I'm, I'd like an admission of guilt. You know, so the inquiry happened and then whether that information was going to be released to the Australian people, both the Liberal and the Labor government, every politician voted no.

• 58:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:19Speaker 00

  And the Greens and One Nation voted yes. They closed ranks and went, no, this isn't coming out. So how can I say that either one of those governments are my people? Or people that I should listen to? Or how do I, Australia?

• 58:34Speaker 00

  Okay, so Americans support troops daily, right? Americans support troops daily in this hollow, not hollow, they mean well by it, but you go to a baseball game and it's like, hey, serviceman of the day, please stand up, this guy fought in Vietnam and da, da, da. We salute you. And then every time you get on a plane.

• 58:56Speaker 01

  At the airport, please come through.

• 58:58Speaker 00

  Yeah, thank you for your service, thank you for your service, thank you for your service. But you know what a lot of that is, in my opinion, and people, I support the troops, when they say, I support the troops, it's, it's recruitment tools. The, the, the, the aeroplanes over the top of the Superbowl or whatever like that, the taxpayer pays for that. That's not doing it because the Air Force want to help us out, it's because they want to look fucking cool, right? And they want to have people stand up and applauded and feeling great. But do they support their troops? When I think it's over fifty percent of all homeless people, I might be out on that statistics, don't get into me if it's not correct, but.

• 59:35Speaker 01

  A percentage?

• 59:36Speaker 00

  High percentage of homeless people in America are ex-military, right? And they have PTSD and then they have drug problems and this, that and the other. And some people who joined the army were sort of lost souls before they got there and they did it to get a bit of. You know, focus in their life. And then once it's gone, it's fucking Rambo. I was an important person there. Now I can't work a job fucking pumping gas. Right? So they support them when they're in the uniform and they walk on them, but they step over them when they're laying on the streets on heroin. And so what I always kind of dug about Australia and the military is we don't support daily.

• 1:00:17Speaker 00

  We don't walk around and go, thank you for your service and all this type of stuff. And we salute you and stand up and all that type of stuff.

• 1:00:26Speaker 00

  But come and that day, we mean it. We mean it. Memorial Day in America is nothing.

• 1:00:31Speaker 01

  Oh, really?

• 1:00:32Speaker 00

  I don't even know. What? Have I got a Friday off? Have I? I've got a Monday off? Have I? Right? That's good. But Australians will take a holiday to Turkey. Australians will get up.

• 1:00:42Speaker 01

  They go to Ghibli.

• 1:00:43Speaker 00

  Get up at dawn to respect men who died a hundred and something, a hundred and ten years ago. Hundred and twenty, you know what I mean? To respect men that have, none of us knew. They've been gone for a long time, right? And so I.

• 1:00:59Speaker 01

  Even new Australians do it.

• 1:01:00Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah. New Australians do it.

• 1:01:02Speaker 01

  Maybe you didn't have a grandfather or something doing it.

• 1:01:03Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah. Like, we respect our troops. We don't carry on about it all the time. But we have a deep connection and our history really is, like our modern history of Australia, is the wars that we've fought in and the people we've lost. So.

• 1:01:21Speaker 01

  What about then?

• 1:01:22Speaker 00

  Everybody, everybody.

• 1:01:30Speaker 00

  The Australian public couldn't have been warmer. Or, you know, there's been reefs laid down for my nephew and, and people come up to me after shows. At least once a week, someone will say, sorry about your nephew. So.

• 1:01:48Speaker 01

  I'm sorry about your nephew too.

• 1:01:49Speaker 00

  So it's, it, it does mean something, that. So the public do give a shit, right? And the government didn't.

• 1:01:59Speaker 00

  And that's, that's, that's where I'm like, they, they said, they will not be forgotten. These men will not go, yeah. They, they won't go old. They won't, all those, all those words. But when it came to the inquiry, inquiry, they made my brother. And he's my sister-in-law.

• 1:02:21Speaker 00

  They had to go up to inquiries that were up in, up in Townsville and then one in Sydney and one in a different place and they burnt through all their holidays, burnt through all, they, they spent months going to watch and watch and watch and watch and hear other reasons why the government wasn't at fault for what happened. And it could have been, if this was a, a private matter, it would have been sorted out of court like that. They would have gone, we don't, we know we've done something wrong here, this make up. But, but i- i- it's a, I, you, you, it's just a small admission, admission of fault, right? Now, I think, going back to the Aboriginal thing that I was saying earlier, that was the whole thing that one with the stolen generation. They wanted us just to admit and go, yes. And then that's what I was saying, we

• 1:03:06Speaker 00

  moved past that a little bit more.

• 1:03:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, ma- making admission of these things is pretty damn important.

• 1:03:11Speaker 00

  It's, it's, we had test pilots say the helmets doesn't work, right? You can say what you want about Australians, but maybe we shouldn't be making high-end technology. We don't have the population for it. You know, where's, you know, we're, we're 27 million people and you want us to compete with Silicon Valley? It's not our thing.

• 1:03:30Speaker 01

  Oh, it was our tech, was it?

• 1:03:31Speaker 00

  It was our tech.

• 1:03:32Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 1:03:32Speaker 00

  Yeah. And so you want us to compete with Silicon Valley? We do a few things very well here in Australia. We fucking, we dig holes, we fucking get, even then, I, I think, this is another one with the Australian government, man. With all of our oil, with all of our, I was just.

• 1:03:48Speaker 01

  Gas.

• 1:03:49Speaker 00

  Gas, um.

• 1:03:50Speaker 01

  Iron ore, uranium.

• 1:03:52Speaker 00

  Uranium, we're sending coal to get burn other, but like, all this type of stuff.

• 1:03:58Speaker 00

  Um, I go to Norway to do gigs. The Norwegians have so much oil supply that the whole country's rich. Everybody's getting a free, like, it's, and it's noticeable.

• 1:04:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:09Speaker 00

  The place is as clean as all, and everyone's getting free education, right? Now, maybe if we all got free education and all that type of stuff, we wouldn't be bitching about your tax plans right now.

• 1:04:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, totally.

• 1:04:21Speaker 00

  But you, you have the opportunity to do this, but instead you're selling it off to other people, letting them refine it.

• 1:04:27Speaker 01

  And buy it back.

• 1:04:28Speaker 00

  And buying it back. Like hopeless.

• 1:04:30Speaker 01

  It's not that smart.

• 1:04:30Speaker 00

  Hopeless, hopeless, right? So, yeah, fuck, I've covered a lot of ground here in the last three minutes.

• 1:04:37Speaker 01

  Well, I've got one last thing, I've got, but, but, but Jim, I've got one last thing I want to cover with you. Like, seriously, the one last thing, good, I think it's fucking hilarious.

• 1:04:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:04:43Speaker 01

  Is, um. I don't know who's calling us this, but um kangaroo fuckers.

• 1:04:48Speaker 00

  Kangaroo.

• 1:04:50Speaker 01

  Where does, who calls us that?

• 1:04:52Speaker 00

  So I, me and my mate Amos, we do a podcast, the ATM podcast, and then people have started. Amos goes to the World Cup with me, you know, he goes to the World Cup with me and he always was of the belief that um. Okay, Americans are terrible with chants, right? The British, the English, the Scots, even like the Norwegians doing the.

• 1:05:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:05:15Speaker 00

  Drum, these are, like that, right? I've always thought Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, oi, oi, oi was weak as balls. I've, we need to move on from that one. It doesn't.

• 1:05:27Speaker 01

  We've got to get better, yeah.

• 1:05:28Speaker 00

  It's not good enough. It's not good enough. And so, so Amos thought to himself, he thought to himself, I'll go to the. I'll go, you can check his account, Amos, you can see these clips, he goes, they went viral, one of them like forty million hits. He goes, we'll go to the soccer and he was gonna write chants for every country that he was in, right? And he was in America and he did this uh stand up if your schools are safe, stand up. Which is the Village People once again, um if your schools are safe. And then he did the um. Oh, he did the, you're fat, you know you are, just a few like, and then I, I liked his Paraguay chants.

• 1:06:11Speaker 00

  Cause he was chanting at the Paraguay game, are you disabled Uruguay? They were all met in fun, right? And when he did ones for Turkey and the Turkey ones were about hair transplants and all that type of stuff and getting your veneers done and all that, right? They were all in good fun, everyone's talking about, but when he did the American ones, then we just got a like a little influx of hate for the day. Of just people like, get the fuck out of here, you real fuckers. You're real fuckers, kangaroo fuckers. Do you know how, how tough you would have to be to fuck a kangaroo? It's, it's not like a sheep, not an easy thing that the New Zealanders do. This is, this takes men. Takes men with fortitude and muscles.

• 1:06:53Speaker 01

  These things are six foot tall.

• 1:06:54Speaker 00

  Six foot tall, the tail's down that, you have to whip that up on your shoulder. You have to fucking dig their feet in the ground, you have to grab around and reach a pouch and pull down and really fucking go for it. Like, I don't agree with it. I don't, I don't agree with men who fuck kangaroos, but I respect them.

• 1:07:13Speaker 01

  Tell me, the last thing I wanna know about is your next Netflix series.

• 1:07:19Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:07:19Speaker 01

  What's it called?

• 1:07:20Speaker 00

  My next Netflix special. Well, okay, so first of all, nothing's promised because I haven't signed a contract with Netflix. I, um.

• 1:07:27Speaker 01

  Have you filmed it yet?

• 1:07:28Speaker 00

  No, no, it's this tour.

• 1:07:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's this whole tour, right?

• 1:07:30Speaker 00

  So when this tour ends, this will become the new special.

• 1:07:33Speaker 01

  So this has been filmed?

• 1:07:34Speaker 00

  Uh, no, no, no. We have to pick a night and a theater and everything. We normally do that in America just because it's cheaper and the executives can be there and all type of stuff. Yeah. I would like to record one in Australia, but it's just a little tricky. Um, uh, I've, I've done six Netflix specials. I don't know if I get enough credit for that because that's the most amount of specials of any comedian on earth. Uh, on, I've, I've done, I've done 10 in total, right? But six of them on Netflix. And so Dave Chappelle, Gabriela Glazier, Bill Burr, all got five, right? And Bill went off and did one on Hulu. So he's got, you know, but I, I'm the O G man. And so, so what happened was, this is a funny story.

• 1:08:13Speaker 00

  Um, so what happened was when Netflix first got into doing stand up specials, so I done one with HBO, which was pretty prestigious back in the day. If you were to do an HBO special, HBO only did like five specials a year. And that was HBO and Showtime were the two places that could, you know, you could do it. So really only 10, 15 comics were getting specials. Now you get like 40 different comics from around the world getting specials and all that sort of stuff. So when I got asked to do the special and I got paid, I believe $50,000, nothing after tax and commi-, like very, not a lot of money. Not a lot of money. I got sued by, I got sued by, uh, my, I, I was contracted to do five specials in the UK. And then when I got the American one, I said, I'm gonna do it anyway. And so I, I got sued for, I believe, ninety thousand pounds, which I happily paid.

• 1:08:59Speaker 00

  So I spent ninety thousand pounds to get out of that contract to go do the American one to earn fifty thousand American dollars. So I was broke. I was in so much debt after that special. I knew it would lead to other things. And then I did a Showtime one. I did another one on a channel called Epics. Um, I did, yeah. Um, and then I started doing the Netflix ones. And when I started doing the Netflix ones, a lot of people were like Netflix then this is, you know, sixteen years ago, I did my first Netflix special, I believe. Maybe that's fif- maybe fifteen years, I don't know. Um, I know it'd be later, it'd be twelve. Before my son was born, eleven years, fourteen years, let's go, right? So I did this special called Bear, and when I did it, everyone online was like, was like, oh, geez, he's doing a,

• 1:09:44Speaker 00

  doing a special on a streamer. This was when streamers weren't as popular as regular TV. They were like, he's doing, someone's career's over. And I was like, they're paying more money than the other companies. Like, it's gotta be all right, you know? So Netflix dipped their toe in doing comedy specials. And they decided to pick five comics that would cover a spectrum that people would like to see, right? And I was one of the original five comics to get a special. And the comics were, and we were gonna do like a press conference and everything, and I was very excited about this.

• 1:10:18Speaker 01

  All of you lined up.

• 1:10:19Speaker 00

  Yeah, like Netflix is a joke and all this type of stuff. There was talk of all this stuff. And the comedians were me, Bill Burr, Chelsea Handler and Chelsea Peretti, all very good comics. And, um, but we couldn't, the fifth guy couldn't make it because, uh, Bill Cosby had gotten into some trouble that week.

• 1:10:38Speaker 01

  Oh, is he one of the?

• 1:10:38Speaker 00

  He was the other one.

• 1:10:39Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 1:10:40Speaker 00

  That special's never aired. They, uh, the whole story broke about his whole life. And, uh, so I was excited, I was gonna meet Bill Cosby.

• 1:10:49Speaker 01

  I used to watch that show.

• 1:10:50Speaker 00

  Oh, cool.

• 1:10:51Speaker 01

  The Bill Cosby Show.

• 1:10:52Speaker 00

  Look, when Bill Cosby got out of prison, and I can, this is a fact, right? Bill Cosby got out of prison, he'd been out of prison for forty-eight hours, twenty-four, forty-eight hours. I was down at one of the comedy clubs in town, I can't even say the club, I'm sure they'd like a plug, Burbank Flappers, right?

• 1:11:08Speaker 01

  Burbank Flappers.

• 1:11:09Speaker 00

  Yeah, Flappers. And I know, I know his old agent as well. The first thing that Bill Cosby did when he got out of prison was ring all the comedy clubs up and go, I'd like to come and do some sets. I've got some new material. That's right. The first thing he wanted to do in his, I believe, late eighties, was go and do stand up comedy after he got out of prison. That was the thing that that he wanted more than anything. And everyone was like, no, sorry, Mr. Cosby, we're not going to be putting you on at our show. Because now here's the social dilemma, whether you can separate the art from the artist, because I think Bill Cosby is a terrible human being.

• 1:11:52Speaker 00

  Of course he is. If you believe him, and one tenth of the things that have come through, it's very obvious he's he's about, and also he's one of these people who hated comics like me, comics who swore he always. And I've heard stories from other comics who have worked with him that are pretty gruesome stories.

• 1:12:07Speaker 01

  Like hypocritical though.

• 1:12:08Speaker 00

  Very hypocritical man, very hypocritical man about the you don't need to swear, you gotta be family friendly. And this is the least family friendly man in the world. I'll tell you this about swearey comics, at least you know where you stand with them.

• 1:12:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:12:19Speaker 00

  Right? And uh, but I tell you what, I'd like to see his prison set, wouldn't you?

• 1:12:25Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:12:26Speaker 00

  He was, he was very good at stand up comedy. Like if he's in prison.

• 1:12:30Speaker 01

  As an art form, you're right.

• 1:12:32Speaker 00

  As an art form.

• 1:12:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:12:33Speaker 00

  I'd like to see what five years in prison, what material Bill Cosby wrote in that time, like how to make like a knife out of the end of a toothbrush or, you know.

• 1:12:46Speaker 00

  This is how you stop yourself from getting reaped. You know what I mean? Like, like, it would have been wonderful material, but we'll never get to see it.

• 1:12:53Speaker 01

  What are you gonna call your series when it gets up like?

• 1:12:56Speaker 00

  My next special.

• 1:12:57Speaker 01

  On Netflix.

• 1:12:58Speaker 00

  I like the name Son of a Carpenter. I could, I could continue that normally. So the, the difference between tour art names and the difference between tour names and special names are a tour name is named before the material is written. For me, anyway, other people might work there. A tour name is written before the material is written. So you'll finish, you'll finish a special. And the next thing, because you get a little bump in your career after the special airs, the next thing your agents are doing is putting you straight back on the road. And you go into a panic because that's the worst time to perform because I've just retired this material that I've just done. I've got nothing, I'm, you know, little bits and pieces and thoughts and ideas. And I sort of Frankenstein it into an idea. And then they go, and what's the name of the tour? And you haven't even written a joke, right?

• 1:13:43Speaker 00

  And you're like, it's called the blah, blah, blah tour. And the, the name of that tour means nothing. Means nothing to what you're gonna say. And then by the time the show's all done and you record the special, then you know what the show should be called. Because you can see it in front of you.

• 1:13:58Speaker 01

  You go.

• 1:13:58Speaker 00

  It's, it most, like most bands, it's, it's the title track off the album. It's whatever the big joke is off, off the album. You know what I mean? So maybe I'll call it something else. I might call it the five groups or something like that, but you want something catchy. Um, I like Son of a Carpenter because I think my dad, my dad enjoys that name and he's not, you know, he's not gonna be with us forever. So I think he's in his eighties, I think that'll be a little nod for.

• 1:14:25Speaker 01

  Not a bad gift.

• 1:14:27Speaker 00

  It's not a bad gift, you know, I've got, uh, look, man, I love my dad very much. I, I, at the moment, I'm, I'm working, I don't know if I should even mention it. I, I'm, I'm, I'm working on my biography at the moment, which I found a very, very painful experience. Something I haven't enjoyed. I didn't, I.

• 1:14:45Speaker 01

  Because what it drags up.

• 1:14:47Speaker 00

  Because you don't wanna throw people under the bus.

• 1:14:50Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 1:14:50Speaker 00

  But you also, you can't lie in it. It's your biography.

• 1:14:53Speaker 01

  It's your biography, it's a good one.

• 1:14:54Speaker 00

  And you can't exclude big things if you're doing a straight up biography. I'm doing a straight up biography, right? I can't sugar gloss, sugar coat, sugar gloss, sugar coat. E- everything from my childhood, my mother was, you know, it was, was hard work, to say it lightly, right? And there, but I, I also credit her for a lot of my success and I believe she loved me. So, you know, what more can you ask from a person? We're all flawed, you know what I mean? But, but her flaws were quite big and, and they're worth mentioning. And I, I think. I think it'll upset my father if it's in print.

• 1:15:33Speaker 01

  That part is hard.

• 1:15:35Speaker 00

  If it's in print, because he has a different memory and he, he, he had a different relationship with her than I had with her.

• 1:15:41Speaker 01

  Isn't it funny how all our truths are different?

• 1:15:43Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone's.

• 1:15:45Speaker 01

  Someone says to me, well, I'm telling you the truth. Like I hear journalists talk about, but they, how they present the news, for example, we always tell the truth. But my view is, yeah, you're telling me your truth.

• 1:15:55Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:15:55Speaker 01

  Everyone's got a truth.

• 1:15:56Speaker 00

  You can leave a party and everyone will have a different perception of what happened at that party. Who was fun? Who was an asshole? Who was good? Who was bad? So I'll give you an example. I had a mate come to my show on, on just this Saturday. Um, who was a guy I went to university with, hadn't seen him really since. It, it'd been, it'd been a good 20 years since I'd seen this fellow. Yeah. And it was good to see him and he, he married a girl that we went to university with. That, that was his first marriage and now he's on another one and that, they had a kid together, whatever. And so he married this girl we went to university with and when you go to WAPA or NITE or anything like that,

• 1:16:39Speaker 00

  it's very close knit, the year that you're in is very close knit. You know, you have 3,000 kids audition for this course that's government funded, whatever, to go and sing musical theatre. And you, you only taken 30. So it's 15 boys and 15 girls and you all sort of feel very lucky. But you know, as you go along, you're going to lose students and they're going to end up with about eight people at the end of the whole course.

• 1:17:04Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:17:04Speaker 00

  I didn't, I didn't make it, right? But it is this intense thing that you all go through together. And so he married a girl, one of those girls, right?

• 1:17:16Speaker 01

  One of the 15.

• 1:17:17Speaker 00

  One of the 15. He was one of the 15. I was one of the 15. He married one of the, the girls.

• 1:17:21Speaker 01

  Who you would know.

• 1:17:21Speaker 00

  Who, who, who I went to university with. And he said to me, he said to me the other night, he goes, oh man. He goes, didn't she fucking hate you? And then she goes, God, she hated you, didn't she? And I was, I had no idea. I had no idea. I always thought me and her had a nice bit of repartee. Like we had a little bit of back and forth, you know, I teased her a bit, she teased me a bit, I thought. Turns out she fucking hated me, right? That's not my memory of school, but he was married to the woman, so he.

• 1:17:55Speaker 01

  She would have told him.

• 1:17:56Speaker 00

  She would have, oh no, it turns out she told him several times. And I, and I, and I said to him as I was leaving, and this is true.

• 1:18:03Speaker 01

  Might have been a curve ball though, she might have actually fancied you.

• 1:18:05Speaker 00

  This is true, as we were leaving, because they were already dating back then, as, as, as I was leaving. I turned to him and I said, I said, well, if you see her, because they got a kid, so they still communicate. Um, uh, tell her I said hi, right? And then as I was leaving, I thought to myself, and this is the truth, I turned and went.

• 1:18:25Speaker 00

  What was her name again? And then he told me her name and I go. Tell her I didn't remember it.

• 1:18:34Speaker 01

  Jim Devries, good on you mate.

• 1:18:36Speaker 00

  Appreciate you mate, no worries.