Stavvy's World #133 - Adam Friedland

Adam Friedland returns to the pod to discuss the new season of The Adam Friedland Show, his GQ photoshoot, being a DNC puppet, whether he’s really the millennial Jon Stewart or just the millennial Bill Maher, the baby names he’s batting around, his shrewd plans to court the right to get more YouTube views, and much more. Adam and Stav help callers including an exotic dancer who’s having trouble dating, a guy who doesn’t trust a Venmo request that his buddy sent the friend group after a liquor run, and a very twisted landlord. Watch the new season of The Adam Friedland Show: https://www.youtube.com/TheAdamFriedlandShow Follow Adam Friedland and see him live: https://www.adamfriedland.com/ https://twitter.com/adamfriedland https://www.instagram.com/adamfriedland Grow your business right now at Shopify -- no matter what stage you're in. Sign up for a $1/month trial at https://www.shopify.com/stavvy Eat smart with Factor. Head to https://www.factormeals.com/stavvy50off and use code STAVVY50OFF to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping. Upgrade your wallet today! Get 10% Off Ridge with code STAVVY at https://www. Ridge.com/STAVVY Your new wardrobe awaits! Get 20% off Chubbies with the code STAVVYSWORLD at https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/ Get a refreshing Twisted Tea today. Keep It Twisted!! Visit https://www.twistedtea.com/locations to find Twisted Tea near you. 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets 🎥 Rent or buy LET'S START A CULT at https://stavvy.biz/movie ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld ☎️ Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  Hey, it's me, Teddy Swims. You hear that? That's life. So go grab it. Grab your old friends, grab new friends, grab a White Claw. Grab flavor for everyone in your group. Grab music, laughter, and moments you'll never forget. You'll never regret it. Oh, hey, man. Grab new friends, grab old friends, grab life by the glow. White Claw.

• 0:27Speaker 01

  Please drink responsibly. White Claw Celta Works, Chicago, Illinois.

• 0:32Speaker 02

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• 1:01Stavros Halkias?

  Opah! Welcome, everybody, to Stavi's World. 904-800-STOP. Call in, we'll solve all your problems. And this, I hope you guys have some major geopolitical questions this week. Because on the couch, none other than my old pal and the newly minted millennial Jon Stewart. And we're on the couch.

• 1:24Speaker 04

  Every single, like, comics group chat?

• 1:29Speaker 04

  Dude, when I went there...

• 1:30Stavros Halkias?

  Motherfucking-ass Jon Stewart of the millennials.

• 1:33Speaker 04

  The picture of what, a photographer?

• 1:35Stavros Halkias?

  Pictures are awesome, by the way. Let's pull them. I didn't read it, but let's look at the... Look how gay you look in these pictures.

• 1:44Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck, dude, what a hard idea. Oh! That one's awesome!

• 1:53Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck, he looks so stupid, it's awesome. They airbrush your adult acne out, dude?

• 1:58Speaker 04

  No, they can't. I don't have adult acne. No, no, that's where I take issue.

• 2:02Stavros Halkias?

  Your shit is looking Korean, dude. You're looking Korean out this bitch, dude.

• 2:06Speaker 04

  You can let, you can let the pictures speak for themselves. You don't have to, you don't have to lie on top of it. First of all, I'm not ashamed of anything. But, when they made me do the floor thing, I was like, can you? I was like, can you guys not use this one? And they used it as the main one.

• 2:22Stavros Halkias?

  Sultry, dude.

• 2:23Speaker 04

  Shayden texts me, he's like, "Could you be the next Jon Stewart? Would you want to?"

• 2:30Stavros Halkias?

  I haven't read it, but I did see these gay ass pictures.

• 2:33Speaker 04

  I did not, I did not read it. I did not read it, but the in-laws added me to their family group chat.

• 2:41Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 2:42Speaker 04

  So I'm, I'm suffering.

• 2:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dude.

• 2:45Speaker 04

  Okay? Stop, you didn't have to lead off with that.

• 2:47Stavros Halkias?

  I had to, man. These pics, these are tough.

• 2:50Speaker 04

  These people are gonna, these people are gonna emulate you and they're gonna make this into a meme or something.

• 2:55Stavros Halkias?

  I'm not the one that's gonna do that, man.

• 2:57Speaker 04

  It hasn't happened yet.

• 2:58Stavros Halkias?

  It hasn't?

• 2:59Speaker 04

  No, and I was shocked by that, personally.

• 3:01Stavros Halkias?

  It's coming, bro, you need that. All press is good press. If this was some kind of flip where it's like, "Let's make the picture so gay that they'll become a negative meme and give us word of mouth."

• 3:11Speaker 04

  Shayden texts me-

• 3:12Stavros Halkias?

  Then you would have be a genius, dude.

• 3:13Speaker 04

  Shayden texts me, he's like, "It's actually making me mad how gay this is."

• 3:22Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking awesome, dude.

• 3:24Speaker 04

  Yeah, well, guys.

• 3:25Stavros Halkias?

  But, Adam, listen. Congratulations on the relaunch of the Adam Friedland show.

• 3:31Speaker 04

  You should have led with that.

• 3:31Stavros Halkias?

  On YouTube. I guess I could have. Theoretically led with that, but this is so much better.

• 3:39Speaker 04

  Yeah, alright.

• 3:40Stavros Halkias?

  And Anthony Weiner. By the time this comes out, Sarah Jessica Parker.

• 3:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 3:45Stavros Halkias?

  You led with two strong noses, I'll give you that.

• 3:46Speaker 04

  Well, actually-

• 3:49Speaker 04

  This will be out by then, but you know, it was the biggest celebrity I've had to date. And midway through, probably the most serious I ever took an interview. Because it was doing nothing for her or her career.

• 4:03Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 4:04Speaker 04

  Like hitting the eighty-five to ninety percent male audience. Like eighteen to thirty-five is doing nothing for and just like that.

• 4:12Stavros Halkias?

  And just like that's coming back. Is that how you snagged her on and just like that?

• 4:15Speaker 04

  No, it's a, it's through, it doesn't matter. Yeah, of course. No, she likes the show.

• 4:21Stavros Halkias?

  Secretive connection.

• 4:22Speaker 04

  No, I met her on the street. No, her son.

• 4:24Stavros Halkias?

  Her son?

• 4:25Speaker 04

  Her son likes, like Come Town.

• 4:27Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome. Hey, if you're famous, if you're the son of somebody famous and you liked the Come Town, but you want your parent on Stavi's World, let us know.

• 4:36Speaker 04

  Well, Matthew Broderick will be on here.

• 4:38Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, I would love to get Matthew Broderick on.

• 4:41Speaker 04

  Well, he said you should have my dad on the show and I was like, I would like your mom, actually. I want your mom on the show. But she's so, so nice of her to do the show. So I took the interview aspect of it really. It's substantively, I think, the best I've done at an interview. And then a booger like midway through just came out of my nose and I just, I have just booger on my face. It's by far the biggest celebrity we've had on the show, like by, by multiples.

• 5:09Stavros Halkias?

  Well, Chet Hanks.

• 5:13Stavros Halkias?

  At the peak of white boy summer, you could argue.

• 5:16Speaker 04

  I just have a booger just the entire time on my, and then you could see her in the coverage. She's just going like this to me.

• 5:24Speaker 04

  She's like this.

• 5:26Stavros Halkias?

  You don't have a producer, you don't have an eldest to tell you, man? Actually, eldest would not tell me. If I had a fucking booger, you would not say shit.

• 5:32Speaker 04

  Yes, he would.

• 5:33Speaker 05

  Depends. You're pretty small on the screen here, but I would. I've tried, I've tried to tell you your belly's poking out before you're like, shut up, bitch.

• 5:41Stavros Halkias?

  You've never said that.

• 5:42Speaker 04

  I have.

• 5:43Stavros Halkias?

  I've never, there's been plenty of belly, especially on the travel episodes.

• 5:47Speaker 04

  You're like, shut the fuck up, bitch.

• 5:50Speaker 05

  And then pulled your shirt down?

• 5:52Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe that's on me.

• 5:53Speaker 05

  I forget what episode it was, but.

• 5:55Stavros Halkias?

  On the.

• 5:56Speaker 05

  Sound off in the comments.

• 5:57Stavros Halkias?

  On the Barstool ones we just did, the one we did with PFT, my belly is just, I'm like this, dude. I just have a Hawaiian and it's just.

• 6:03Speaker 04

  You're wearing a bra?

• 6:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, basically, dude.

• 6:06Speaker 04

  Well, so thank you for the congratulations, Stavros. It's been, it's been a while, it's been a roller coaster personally.

• 6:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 6:12Speaker 04

  No, I mean, I'm happy the show's out.

• 6:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 6:15Speaker 04

  And I'm happy that like, it took three months to like, get it to the place where we could do it once a week, but now, now we can do it.

• 6:21Stavros Halkias?

  Nice, dude.

• 6:22Speaker 04

  We have, uh, Cho Chescu's doing next week.

• 6:25Stavros Halkias?

  Nice.

• 6:25Speaker 04

  Pinochet, Candace Owens, Ben Shapiro.

• 6:30Stavros Halkias?

  That is gonna be awesome.

• 6:31Speaker 04

  I want Shapiro so bad.

• 6:33Stavros Halkias?

  You inevitably just become a.

• 6:34Speaker 04

  I want Shapiro.

• 6:35Stavros Halkias?

  These are doing well, these numbers are doing good, you just end up on his network.

• 6:39Speaker 04

  I'm selling fucking brain pills and like, doing MMA stuff.

• 6:43Stavros Halkias?

  The.

• 6:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 6:44Stavros Halkias?

  The just center left.

• 6:45Speaker 04

  Videos of me sparring and stuff, yeah.

• 6:47Stavros Halkias?

  You slowly move center, center, center, right, right, right, dude. You're gonna have the Mar, you're gonna go Mar.

• 6:54Speaker 04

  It would be an honor.

• 6:56Speaker 05

  Millennial Bill Maher.

• 6:57Stavros Halkias?

  That's the actual truth. You actually are the millen- the millennial Bill Maher.

• 7:02Speaker 04

  I'm the millennial Jimmy Savile.

• 7:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, just on his free time.

• 7:09Speaker 04

  Dude, I love, Mar is just, is such a perfect, like, avatar of my dad.

• 7:14Stavros Halkias?

  He's, he's awesome.

• 7:15Speaker 04

  Just the way he, he just, he's, you fucking peasant.

• 7:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 7:20Speaker 04

  You fucking loser. And then says the wrong thing.

• 7:23Stavros Halkias?

  It's awesome.

• 7:23Speaker 04

  Of course Palestine is the richest country in the world. You fucking.

• 7:30Speaker 04

  Don't put that in there.

• 7:31Stavros Halkias?

  You don't believe it, man, don't worry.

• 7:32Speaker 04

  I can't, the DNC's paying me too much, right? People, people think I'm getting paid by the DNC already?

• 7:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 7:38Speaker 04

  Yeah?

• 7:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. That would be awesome. We're open for business, by the way, DNC.

• 7:42Speaker 04

  I, I.

• 7:42Stavros Halkias?

  We are ready to go.

• 7:43Speaker 04

  How, who's booking the DNC right now?

• 7:46Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know. I just, I just saw the, I don't know if it's true.

• 7:49Speaker 04

  They would be so smart to give stop, like, a zillion.

• 7:51Stavros Halkias?

  I'm ready to go, man. I'm ready to go.

• 7:53Speaker 04

  I'll fuck it up for you at some point.

• 7:55Stavros Halkias?

  Well, I'll get one check and then immediately.

• 7:58Speaker 04

  Oh, no, no.

• 7:59Stavros Halkias?

  You know, they're not gonna.

• 7:59Speaker 04

  You're a fucking moneymaker, dude. I would ruin it for the DNC. I get, I.

• 8:04Stavros Halkias?

  Your ideas are too dangerous.

• 8:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. No, no. I literally, whatever I would say would backfire into like, just elections just ending forever. Trump, Trump, like.

• 8:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yep. We're gonna install Barron. It's gonna go with Ivanka next. Is it Ivanka, right, not Ivana?

• 8:20Speaker 04

  Ivanka, yeah.

• 8:21Stavros Halkias?

  Ivana's his dead wife that he buried on a golf course, is that right? That's for a tax break, I believe.

• 8:26Speaker 04

  The nineteenth hole, I believe.

• 8:30Stavros Halkias?

  That would be awesome.

• 8:31Speaker 04

  Uh, Ivanka, yeah.

• 8:33Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 8:34Speaker 04

  Oh, I need her.

• 8:36Stavros Halkias?

  She is honestly kind of a piece of ass. I think in my-

• 8:39Speaker 04

  Can you imagine if she's like, "My father would be so upset if he knew I was..."

• 8:44Stavros Halkias?

  Well, you're basically Jared Kushner.

• 8:47Speaker 04

  No, you know, you know mommy and daddy didn't work hard enough.

• 8:52Stavros Halkias?

  That's true.

• 8:52Speaker 04

  You know mommy and daddy didn't go to prison for some sort of, some sort of, uh, like scandal that involved chassids and corpses and stuff like that?

• 9:01Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, really?

• 9:02Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 9:02Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome.

• 9:03Speaker 04

  Oh, our first, uh, for the show-

• 9:06Stavros Halkias?

  She really is.

• 9:06Speaker 04

  We're doing these like remote segments for each, for each episode. And so the first one, I, I found this guy, this sex guy, this therapist for men who cheat.

• 9:15Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, wow.

• 9:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, and we found his, his Instagram's amazing. It's like sexual, uh, sexual, uh, something expert, what is it? Just look, just look at my follows, I probably follow.

• 9:29Stavros Halkias?

  Sexual expert Instagram cheating is what Elders is.

• 9:32Speaker 04

  Sexual, uh, sexual something-

• 9:36Stavros Halkias?

  Anyway, whatever.

• 9:37Speaker 04

  Go to sexuallycompulsive.com. It's, that's his website. It's this guy, Mark Foley.

• 9:45Stavros Halkias?

  Mark Foley, any relation to Mick Foley? Uh- Mr. Sacco?

• 9:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, Elders, usually there's a space in the middle of a URL.

• 9:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you're fucking-

• 9:55Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, here he is.

• 9:56Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 9:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 9:57Stavros Halkias?

  Get the help you deserve, James Foley.

• 9:59Speaker 04

  James Foley, James Foley. So I got an, I got an email this weekend, uh, that he's involved in an anti-Semitic scandal in Rockland County.

• 10:08Stavros Halkias?

  What's he up to?

• 10:09Speaker 04

  Well, he, in Rockland County, New York, I think he was a Republican, uh, like county administrator or something? I didn't know any of this.

• 10:17Stavros Halkias?

  James J.?

• 10:17Speaker 04

  James J. This guy is one of the best people, genuinely a, a great human being, and I stand by him throughout anything.

• 10:24Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 10:25Speaker 04

  Twenty-five years-

• 10:26Stavros Halkias?

  Look up James J. Foley scandal, Elders, anti-Semitic scandal.

• 10:29Speaker 04

  So, there's, there are these towns in Rockland County that are just controlled by chassids, and they control like the school board, and he, uh, compared it to Sharia law. And so they had, they, they took him down.

• 10:42Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 10:43Speaker 04

  But no, James Foley is also the guy that was murdered by ISIS, so it might be a difficult Google.

• 10:47Stavros Halkias?

  Uh huh.

• 10:48Speaker 04

  Look up Rockland County.

• 10:50Stavros Halkias?

  James J. Foley, Rockland County.

• 10:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, so, so the-

• 10:52Stavros Halkias?

  And these are the types of people that you're cavorting with?

• 10:56Speaker 04

  What is that? I don't know what that word means.

• 10:57Stavros Halkias?

  Mike Lawler endorsed candidate accused of anti Sem.

• 10:59Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, this is my boy, James. Yeah, yeah. But, uh, I think I'm gonna release it eventually, but I'm gonna release the entire interview I had with him, but like every question that I prepared, he gave me the opposite answer.

• 11:13Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 11:13Speaker 04

  Like, I, I looked up every, uh, like, symptom of sex addiction, and I was like, just like when I'm with someone, like, and I, we leave each, like, you know, I'm not with her at the time, like, I feel like I'm going through withdrawals, and like, I, I, I put, uh, you know, uh, my sweetie on a pedestal, and like, if I break up, I, I, I feel like I need love, and I, I feel like, and he's, I thought he was gonna be like, well, you're a sex addict, and he was like, it sounds like you're incredibly in tune with your emotions. Yeah, and he's just incredible, this guy.

• 11:47Stavros Halkias?

  So he's, he's a Republican legislator and a sex therapist? He's a legislator, is running for reelection, and shamelessly ran his last campaign attacking the Orthodox Jewish community in Rockland, from calling them the Ramapo Mafia, to promising to block the block, a nod to the anti Hasidic group in which Foley was invited. Interesting. I support him. Uh, Mike Lawler's blatant disregard for the Jewish community is jarring, and he should retract his endorsement of Foley. Mike Lawler is an extremist who has spent his term disrespecting the very community that elected him. Wow, okay, well-

• 12:19Speaker 04

  So they have, they, like, control-

• 12:21Stavros Halkias?

  So what you're saying is you are getting everyone, you're trying to do a big tent here with the Adam Friedland Show. Not only will you get Sarah Jessica Parker, you'll also have anti Semites from Rockland County on your show.

• 12:31Speaker 04

  No, no, he just said that they're annoying up in Rockland County, and they are. The Or- they control like, like, school boards, and they do Sharia law.

• 12:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, is this where they have their own little ambulances and stuff?

• 12:44Speaker 04

  They have their own towns up there. Yeah, and then, none of them work.

• 12:48Stavros Halkias?

  What do they do?

• 12:49Speaker 04

  They live off the, the, the dole.

• 12:53Speaker 04

  They're regular welfare queens.

• 12:55Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting.

• 12:55Speaker 04

  I'll say it. I'm allowed to say it.

• 12:59Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, you really have brushed up. You really have brushed up. You really have brushed up on all your politics in the last few years, man.

• 13:06Speaker 04

  Ask me anything about politics, I'll tell you what it is.

• 13:08Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, what's, uh, what's the midterms looking like, Adam?

• 13:11Speaker 04

  Hmm, I think, uh, calculus is looking tough.

• 13:16Stavros Halkias?

  Very good.

• 13:18Speaker 04

  I don't know anything about politics. I don't know why they call me Jon Stewart.

• 13:24Speaker 04

  But comedians are, we should, we're not smart.

• 13:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, there he is.

• 13:27Speaker 04

  Okay, let's imagine, go to that picture, make it big.

• 13:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, look at the airbrush.

• 13:31Speaker 04

  I'll, I'll give you a speech right now, okay?

• 13:33Stavros Halkias?

  That cheek, man.

• 13:35Speaker 04

  Well, I don't know, I don't know about...

• 13:39Speaker 04

  I just wanna say something.

• 13:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 13:42Speaker 04

  What's wrong with that?

• 13:43Stavros Halkias?

  What's he looking up at, dude?

• 13:44Speaker 04

  It's like, it's cute. I sat on my glasses also, I sat on my glasses too, yeah.

• 13:50Stavros Halkias?

  It looks like you're looking up at the guy you're about to blow.

• 13:54Speaker 04

  Well, why would I have a microphone?

• 13:55Stavros Halkias?

  It's, it's standing in for his cock, actually. They, you let them fucking put the dress on you, dude. You let them, you let them buck break you here, dude. That, that's clearly the posture of a guy who's about to suck the, the establishment's dick, dude.

• 14:09Speaker 04

  Moments before the load.

• 14:13Speaker 04

  Well, I went to, I, uh, yeah, I attended a freak off. I was told that Sav would be there, and the people from the William Morris Endeavor Agency.

• 14:23Speaker 04

  And it ended up being one guy.

• 14:26Speaker 04

  And he looked like the Monopoly man.

• 14:29Speaker 04

  And he told me, he'd give me a career as the millennial Jon Stewart at thirty-eight years old.

• 14:35Stavros Halkias?

  That would be so funny if you got sex traffic now.

• 14:38Speaker 04

  Stop, you know people are now, people hadn't realized that that was embarrassing other than other comedians. And now these, now these, uh, all...

• 14:47Stavros Halkias?

  No, this is a di...

• 14:47Speaker 04

  Oh, stop, Riz, listen.

• 14:49Stavros Halkias?

  This is a different time, Adam.

• 14:51Speaker 04

  What do you mean a different time?

• 14:52Stavros Halkias?

  Move forward, man.

• 14:53Speaker 04

  I am respected, I'm, I'm respect, yeah, it's true.

• 14:55Stavros Halkias?

  You're respected as the voice of the center-left. This episode is brought to you by Visible, the smartest upgrade this season, isn't it? New phone, it's a better wireless plan. Switch to Visible, the ultimate wireless hack. You get unlimited 5G data and unlimited hotspot powered by Verizon. We have Visible here at Stavi Baby Enterprises. We love it. We just got a new assistant. She loves it. She's taking all our sushi orders. They're going through the Visible network brought to you by Verizon. It's fast, it's reliable, it's so sick. They sponsor the Stavies World hotline, as you know, and make it possible for us to help all our callers out. Oh my God, they're the best. Switch today at visible.com. The Visible plan starts at $25 a month. Or get the Premium Visible Plus Pro Plan

• 15:39Stavros Halkias?

  and save $10 on your first month with promo code STAV. Terms apply. Oh baby, the fall, October, a chill in the air. The leaves are turning. Your body's all messed up. It's dark outside, fast. You're getting off. You gotta switch from summer to the fall? That's where your AG1 routine earns its spot. It's not fixing your sleep or your alarm time. It's giving your body what it needs so the dark mornings don't tank you before you even start. One scoop cold water every morning before anything else. AG1 Next Gen has 75 plus ingredients, including vitamins, minerals, pre and probiotics, and you're not gonna believe this, superfoods.

• 16:22Stavros Halkias?

  It's backed by four separate gold standard clinical trials and specifically formulated to support immune defense. So you could stay ahead of the season. I'm loving AG1. You know, I'm back in, I'm back at it with the health. Stavi Gets Rip is coming back. AG1 is now, now they're a nice building block to me. Keep checking back, folks. Let's see how it's going. I'm feeling more energetic. I'm ready to go. And I will say, other little vitamin, I've tried a lot of stuff. The taste of AG1 is pretty delectable while you're getting healthy. Go to drinkag1.com/stavi and for a limited time, get a free immune support bundle, including a bottle of Omega 3 Fish Oil and a bottle of vitamin D3K2

• 17:05Stavros Halkias?

  with your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro. That's drinkag1.com/stavi. No accusations of phallic imagery on my behalf.

• 17:17Speaker 04

  Here's what I'll say. When I was younger, Democrats were cool, okay?

• 17:24Speaker 04

  Democrats used to get pussy. They were getting head in the Oval Office. Okay?

• 17:31Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, fuck.

• 17:31Speaker 04

  And now you got this president, he got three baby mamas.

• 17:35Stavros Halkias?

  You need to, alright, you want me to text Schultz, you need to go on that show, man. You need to go on that show.

• 17:40Speaker 04

  It would be nothing, it would be an honor.

• 17:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 17:44Speaker 04

  I would smell the seat that Mayor Pete sat in. It's so funny, Mayor Pete smashed it on there.

• 17:49Stavros Halkias?

  He's got the beard. I can't wait till Mayor Pete, like, the Democrats are gonna learn nothing, they're gonna run Mayor Pete and he's gonna be like, "Just cuz I'm gay doesn't mean trans people should have a bathroom." Like, that's coming, dude.

• 18:00Speaker 04

  He's gonna get caught at straight sex clubs.

• 18:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's awesome. Mayor Pete's gonna get caught. That would, we've, we'd really-

• 18:11Speaker 04

  It's not even gonna be a sex club, he, he's-

• 18:14Stavros Halkias?

  He should be getting head.

• 18:15Speaker 04

  It's just gonna, it's gonna be like a fucking, like, Lisa Ann video ta- tab on like a, like a, his, like, computer. Yeah. He's watching Naylin Palin.

• 18:26Stavros Halkias?

  I, hey, I watched that quite a bit.

• 18:28Speaker 04

  Of course we watched it.

• 18:29Stavros Halkias?

  That was classic stuff.

• 18:30Speaker 04

  We felt, it was, we, we were in love with her.

• 18:33Stavros Halkias?

  That was the height, that was the height of, uh, uh, porn parody. It's, it'll never get back to that. The modern height of porn parody is definitely who's Naylin Palin.

• 18:41Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 18:42Stavros Halkias?

  Great name, Lisa Ann at the top, at the peak of her powers.

• 18:45Speaker 04

  It's, uh, the, in the green bikini, it's, what's her name, Naomi Russell, green bikini.

• 18:51Stavros Halkias?

  That's not a parody, fucking dumbass.

• 18:53Speaker 04

  It was a parody of, of white girls having ass.

• 18:57Stavros Halkias?

  And I know that exact video. I know Naomi, yes. I think she's dead, may she rest in peace.

• 19:03Speaker 04

  There was a rumor that she's dead, I don't know if she is, I hope she's not, she's probably like a, uh, like a, I don't know. She's probably a Zionist now or something.

• 19:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 19:11Speaker 04

  Yeah. Yeah, let's just watch porn.

• 19:13Stavros Halkias?

  Naomi Green, Green Bikini Pornography, Elvis.

• 19:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, porn. He, why, this is his job and he's-

• 19:19Stavros Halkias?

  Naomi Russell Green.

• 19:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 19:21Stavros Halkias?

  We don't need to look at this video.

• 19:22Speaker 04

  No, no, no, let's watch the, oh, yeah, yeah, it's the green one, yeah, yeah, oh, yes, the, it's the green.

• 19:27Stavros Halkias?

  I actually remember the green dress.

• 19:29Speaker 04

  The green dress, it's the green dress, not a bikini.

• 19:32Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, not Naomi Green, you fucking idiot.

• 19:35Speaker 04

  What are you, what is wrong with you?

• 19:36Stavros Halkias?

  You're actually blowing it in an insane way. Naomi Russell. Uh, no.

• 19:42Speaker 04

  Naomi, Naomi.

• 19:44Stavros Halkias?

  Naomi Russell, uh, porn, what is-

• 19:46Speaker 04

  Just put the porn on.

• 19:47Stavros Halkias?

  What is she doing? Naomi Russell porn now.

• 19:52Stavros Halkias?

  Porn, no. I mean, good god. What happened to I'm Russell? Let's go to adult site broker.com.

• 19:58Speaker 04

  Okay, yeah. Let's look it up.

• 20:00Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, of Israeli and Slovak descent. I would love to see her tweets right now.

• 20:06Speaker 04

  She's Israeli? Ah, she's Jewish? She was on Cum Fiesta in 2005.

• 20:15Stavros Halkias?

  Her breakout role was Cum Fiesta in 2005. We have a lot in common with her, man. A cum property broke us all.

• 20:25Stavros Halkias?

  Awards nominations and recognition.

• 20:27Speaker 04

  She put ass, white girls with ass on the map.

• 20:29Stavros Halkias?

  Controversies and challenges, although she's very private, when the most significant controversy surrounding her career was with that she won the AVN Award in 2007 for Best New Starlet. She didn't attend the ceremony or accept the award.

• 20:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, people say she has AIDS.

• 20:42Stavros Halkias?

  She told them she had better things to do and didn't see the big deal. However, this certainly didn't hinder her career or her chance to be nominated for other awards.

• 20:50Speaker 04

  It's like Woody. Woody never went to the Academy Awards, even if he won.

• 20:54Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, I didn't know that. There were rumors that she left because she had contracted HIV. However, she hasn't commented on these rumors, say if they are true. I do remember recent activities. There's no proof up until 2022. I'm Russell was rumored to have started her website in 2018, creating adult content. Currently, there's an active Instagram account that could be hers, where she uploads her modeling images and has a link to her PayPal. But there are no links to OnlyFans. Not much is known about her private life.

• 21:21Speaker 04

  Okay, let's cancel.

• 21:22Stavros Halkias?

  It was rumored, hold on, that she gained a scholarship at Pasadena City College to study for a Bachelor of Science in Nursing.

• 21:29Speaker 04

  Good for her!

• 21:30Stavros Halkias?

  I hope that's true. Um, I guess there's not much going on.

• 21:33Speaker 04

  Okay, let's cancel the phone calls. We gotta, let's find her, okay? Rest of the episode. Okay, stop. Can I break something that I've never said?

• 21:42Stavros Halkias?

  Please.

• 21:43Speaker 04

  A Norwegian comedian, right? Uh, I was talking to him and...

• 21:50Stavros Halkias?

  Daniel Simonson?

• 21:51Speaker 04

  No, a different one.

• 21:52Stavros Halkias?

  Shout out to Daniel.

• 21:53Speaker 04

  Apparently, there's two.

• 21:56Speaker 04

  He said that there's this soccer player, Erling Haaland, right?

• 22:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, Holland, of course.

• 22:02Speaker 04

  Right, who's the best, arguably the best striker in the world, okay. Um, it's Hoyland.

• 22:08Stavros Halkias?

  Don't worry about it, just don't even, yeah, he looks awesome.

• 22:10Speaker 04

  He looks awesome, he looks like a baby.

• 22:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, he's got, he's got an awesome ponytail, yeah.

• 22:15Speaker 04

  Saav would say, uh, gay mouth, but I would not.

• 22:17Stavros Halkias?

  I don't think gay mouth is not that wet, he has, he has like, he actually has a mouth like a ninja turtle.

• 22:22Speaker 04

  He does really look like a baby.

• 22:24Stavros Halkias?

  I think, I see him as a ninja turtle more than a baby.

• 22:26Speaker 04

  He's a, he's a juggernaut, he's a, he's incredible, okay? Um, in Norway, it's, it's, uh, well understood that the way, uh, the way he fucks is that he's, he fucks women twice his age. Because he flies out the chicks he was jerking off to when he was thirteen.

• 22:43Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 22:44Speaker 04

  He's flying out, he's flying out Alexis, Texas, and Lisa. What a legend.

• 22:50Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome, is that true, is that the, is that the rumor?

• 22:52Speaker 04

  That is what I was told, and I was like, if anyone would like that, it's this gentleman right here.

• 22:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's awesome, I would love that, that's incredible.

• 23:00Speaker 04

  As a motivating factor.

• 23:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, what's up with, uh, Eva Angelina?

• 23:04Speaker 04

  It makes me respect him so much.

• 23:06Stavros Halkias?

  Ja- Jana Michaels.

• 23:08Speaker 05

  Where's Ashley Robbins at?

• 23:09Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah, our white whale.

• 23:12Speaker 04

  Where's, uh, Bella Donna at?

• 23:15Stavros Halkias?

  Bella Donna, damn, you wanna go alt? The, she was the, I feel like she was one of, you know.

• 23:20Speaker 04

  She was a hard, she was hardcore.

• 23:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 23:22Speaker 04

  Who was the squirting one?

• 23:24Stavros Halkias?

  I don't remember her.

• 23:25Speaker 04

  Who was the one that, uh, oh, gosh.

• 23:28Stavros Halkias?

  I don't remember her.

• 23:29Speaker 04

  Let's just remember.

• 23:30Stavros Halkias?

  But Bella Donna, there was a video where she's just like a baseball bat and they like hit her in the pussy with it or something. Anyway, I don't have to look at this anymore.

• 23:37Speaker 04

  I called the police on that video. Oh, come on, stop it.

• 23:41Stavros Halkias?

  He's back.

• 23:43Speaker 04

  Guys, I'm trying.

• 23:46Speaker 04

  I'm trying a mainstream crossover, okay? I'm pedaled in smut for far too long in my life. What, I just, I wanna be, I would, I just want a nice life, I want my, my, my.

• 23:57Stavros Halkias?

  Your children.

• 23:58Speaker 04

  My children, to be able to say that their father.

• 24:00Stavros Halkias?

  That's my daddy.

• 24:01Speaker 04

  Their father has some gay pictures in a magazine.

• 24:04Stavros Halkias?

  That's my daddy.

• 24:05Speaker 04

  My daddy.

• 24:05Stavros Halkias?

  He talked to Anthony Weiner, he talked to Jessica Parker.

• 24:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, my, my father one time did three episodes of a Jewish talk show on YouTube.

• 24:16Stavros Halkias?

  The guy with the tuba, that was cool when you found him.

• 24:19Speaker 04

  It was received, oh yeah, the trumpet guy.

• 24:21Stavros Halkias?

  Where he said he could fly or whatever?

• 24:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. That guy's incredible, Doug, yeah.

• 24:25Stavros Halkias?

  Shout out to Doug.

• 24:25Speaker 04

  He only wears baseball cleats.

• 24:27Stavros Halkias?

  We'd love to have Doug on this show if you can hook that up.

• 24:29Speaker 04

  I'll hook Doug. I'll hook Doug.

• 24:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, we'd love to have Doug around.

• 24:32Speaker 04

  But with antisemitism, it's not good to be... You know, there's like a saying, I don't know if there's a Greek saying, but it's like, there's a saying like, not in front of the goyim.

• 24:41Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, okay.

• 24:42Speaker 04

  You try to be like a little bit less.

• 24:43Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure, sure. Cause like- You think he's too much right now?

• 24:46Speaker 04

  Right now, it's like, we, I don't know.

• 24:49Stavros Halkias?

  You think he has some cool views on-

• 24:51Speaker 04

  Elon went on this. He did that. Sorry, don't-

• 24:54Stavros Halkias?

  We'll blur it, we'll blur it. We know you have a public image to uphold now.

• 24:58Speaker 04

  Listen, my, my reputation is spotless.

• 25:01Stavros Halkias?

  So you think to combat antisemitism, in your, in your opinion?

• 25:06Speaker 04

  I've toned down the Jew-iness.

• 25:07Stavros Halkias?

  We should have less Jews?

• 25:09Speaker 04

  I'm toning it down.

• 25:12Speaker 04

  I'm doing more of a Puerto Rican thing these days, yeah.

• 25:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 25:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, going into the act. Doing the act.

• 25:18Stavros Halkias?

  Are you gonna keep the hair, is this gonna be your hairstyles as a, as a, have you thought about maybe rebranding your look?

• 25:26Speaker 04

  Whatever, I'm gonna go to Turkey.

• 25:28Stavros Halkias?

  You're gonna get your hairline lower?

• 25:30Speaker 04

  I'm getting even lower hairline. Rhinoplasty.

• 25:35Stavros Halkias?

  You could straighten your hair maybe?

• 25:36Speaker 04

  I'm getting the Mulaney, dude, I'm getting the full, yeah, I'm getting the Chad jaw.

• 25:40Stavros Halkias?

  You're gonna stop, yeah, you're gonna get, you're gonna, you're gonna get off cocaine and you're gonna like bulk up, is that what you're saying?

• 25:47Speaker 04

  And fall in love.

• 25:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 25:49Speaker 04

  And have, have a baby.

• 25:50Stavros Halkias?

  It's a beautiful arc, man.

• 25:52Speaker 04

  No, no, not, he's a colleague, we both have talk shows.

• 25:55Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no, he's my friend, he's not really your colleague. He's kinda my personal friend, I've been on his talk show a couple times.

• 26:01Speaker 04

  You're, he's your friend?

• 26:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 26:04Speaker 04

  He's friends with a friend of mine.

• 26:08Speaker 04

  I would say a brother.

• 26:10Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, so if he's friends with a brother, that makes him a colleague?

• 26:13Speaker 04

  He's friends with many brothers, in fact.

• 26:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he does like some brothers. Shout out to Mandel, the warm-up comic.

• 26:21Speaker 04

  No, but-

• 26:22Stavros Halkias?

  And our beautiful fat friend.

• 26:23Speaker 04

  John, you're a friend.

• 26:28Speaker 04

  Who else is watching? Joe, you're a friend.

• 26:30Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. They tune in every week.

• 26:32Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 26:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, no, I was just, I mean, you know, I'm just saying, although you do have a good, I do actually like this look for what you're going for.

• 26:39Speaker 04

  You've seen me looking terrible many times. This is the best it gets.

• 26:45Stavros Halkias?

  Are you gonna get like, are you gonna have like a clo- are you gonna get sponsored by like a soup guy? At the end of every episode, it'll be like, Mr. Friedland's wardrobe has been provided by Giorgio Armani.

• 26:57Stavros Halkias?

  You should, bro.

• 26:58Speaker 04

  I'm, I'm open for business.

• 27:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, hell yeah.

• 27:00Speaker 04

  I will, I will work with anyone. The state of Israel, anyone. I will work with anyone. I'm dying here.

• 27:08Stavros Halkias?

  This episode is brought to you.

• 27:10Speaker 04

  I found out how much money I spent in the three months of pre-production and I will, the, the truth is, CCP pivot is the move.

• 27:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 27:19Speaker 04

  But they're, they're not, they're just, they are not interested in me.

• 27:23Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no.

• 27:24Speaker 04

  Me as a spokesperson for the party. Speed is doing it. Speed is, yeah.

• 27:29Stavros Halkias?

  He's smart. There's, see, exactly. That's why China's gonna win, man.

• 27:32Speaker 04

  He made it look so fun. Cause the tariff thing happened, the stock market was crashing and Speed was like in a flying car.

• 27:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 27:39Speaker 04

  When he did the Shaolin Monk thing.

• 27:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. He made China look so awesome.

• 27:43Speaker 04

  He made it look so fun.

• 27:45Stavros Halkias?

  That's why they're gonna win, cause they're like, we need charismatic black teenagers to say we're cool.

• 27:49Speaker 04

  They were calling him the N-word.

• 27:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. And he's letting it roll off his back.

• 27:53Speaker 04

  He was like, chill, yeah.

• 27:56Speaker 04

  I think he might be the most famous person in the world.

• 27:59Stavros Halkias?

  It's close, yeah. And he, yeah. Of, cause it basically was like, yeah, I don't know who else, maybe some K-pop person that we don't know about.

• 28:06Speaker 04

  Apparently.

• 28:07Stavros Halkias?

  Or some Indian, like an Indian Bollywood star, probably.

• 28:09Speaker 04

  Ronaldo.

• 28:11Stavros Halkias?

  Who's the guy who's like their Tom Cruise in India?

• 28:14Speaker 04

  Uh, oh.

• 28:15Stavros Halkias?

  The guy who's like insanely famous.

• 28:17Speaker 04

  Akash Singh?

• 28:21Speaker 04

  No, no, yeah, that one guy.

• 28:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, him, what's his, he's in, yeah, that guy, what's his name? But he's apparently like, he's probably my same.

• 28:29Speaker 04

  Rama Swami.

• 28:30Stavros Halkias?

  Shao Khan, incredible name, right there.

• 28:32Speaker 04

  Shao Khan?

• 28:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, Shao Khan.

• 28:35Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, this guy, he's in, uh, he's in Mission Impossible.

• 28:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, he's so famous.

• 28:40Speaker 04

  So bad.

• 28:41Stavros Halkias?

  Stop.

• 28:42Speaker 04

  So bad.

• 28:43Stavros Halkias?

  Shut the fuck up.

• 28:43Speaker 04

  So bad.

• 28:44Stavros Halkias?

  I haven't seen it yet, and the fact that you think it's bad actually makes me feel good.

• 28:48Speaker 04

  Why?

• 28:49Stavros Halkias?

  Cause you're probably wrong.

• 28:51Speaker 04

  Why are you booing me, Eldon?

• 28:52Stavros Halkias?

  We don't want it to be bad, man, it's the final, it's even one slash go around.

• 28:56Speaker 04

  I love.

• 28:56Stavros Halkias?

  Don't, no spoilers, motherfucker.

• 28:58Speaker 04

  I love that franchise, and, uh.

• 29:01Stavros Halkias?

  Which one's your favorite?

• 29:03Speaker 04

  Three is dope, cause Philip Seymour Hoffman is so scary.

• 29:07Stavros Halkias?

  I love Philip Seymour Hoffman.

• 29:08Speaker 04

  It's one, three, and six, six might be my favorite, actually.

• 29:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's the one with, uh, uh, Superman charging his fucking.

• 29:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 29:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, that's awesome.

• 29:18Speaker 04

  He's strong as fuck, too.

• 29:20Stavros Halkias?

  Henry Cavill, that's, that's the best one, and I agree, three is really good.

• 29:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:24Stavros Halkias?

  Um, even though it's like a little, you know, you got, you got your boy J.J. Abrams directing it, um, but, um.

• 29:32Speaker 04

  Philip, Philip is so scary, that first scene is so scary.

• 29:35Stavros Halkias?

  I like the first one, too, the first one's De Palma, it's a weird movie.

• 29:39Speaker 04

  It makes no sense.

• 29:40Stavros Halkias?

  I love that.

• 29:40Speaker 04

  The first one is, the first one might be my favorite.

• 29:43Stavros Halkias?

  I've watched the first one the most.

• 29:44Speaker 04

  Chick is so hot.

• 29:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, there's some, there's some nice pieces of pissy pie.

• 29:47Speaker 04

  It's got a diarrhea gag.

• 29:49Stavros Halkias?

  I don't remember the diarrhea gag.

• 29:51Speaker 04

  When he does the, the, the wire thing, he, they give the guy diarrhea.

• 29:55Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, right, right, smart, I love that, you're right.

• 29:58Speaker 04

  Every movie in the nineteen nineties, uh, like up until.

• 30:02Stavros Halkias?

  Dropping shit in people's.

• 30:03Speaker 04

  Had, had a poo, uh, yeah, had a can't stop crapping gag.

• 30:06Stavros Halkias?

  It would have been awesome if they cut to the guy and he's just shitting like, like, uh, Jeff Daniels in Dumb and Dumber. Like, we, all we get is a close with guy be like, ah, that would be fucking sick. We gotta bring diarrhea gags back, man.

• 30:19Speaker 04

  We gotta, laxative gags have to come back, yeah, yeah.

• 30:22Stavros Halkias?

  Ipecac, too, where people are throwing up.

• 30:25Speaker 04

  Absolutely.

• 30:25Stavros Halkias?

  Family Guy did that to, to their credit, they kinda brought that back, but there's that classic Family Guy thing where they're just throwing up over and over again.

• 30:33Speaker 04

  It's such a good show.

• 30:34Stavros Halkias?

  But it's nice, man, I like seeing this, it seems like you're really, you're, you're gonna be a family man.

• 30:38Speaker 04

  What, what are you, what is the thing?

• 30:40Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, I'm saying, you're transitioning overall, we don't have to talk about the show the whole time, how's your overall life, you feeling good?

• 30:47Speaker 04

  Uh, no, still no one respects me. Actually, we have one employee who like, uh, the day of the show launched, I was like, I just want to let you know, you're doing a great job. And she's like, and I was like, what the, what's going on? And then my sister was there and she was like, oh no, she wants you. I was like, I think I've never experienced someone wanting.

• 31:08Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, your approval. Oh, somebody, somebody's thinking it matters what you think.

• 31:13Speaker 04

  I've never experienced before.

• 31:16Speaker 04

  I was like, wow.

• 31:17Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that's awesome.

• 31:19Speaker 04

  I was like, this is great.

• 31:22Speaker 04

  This is phenomenal.

• 31:23Stavros Halkias?

  Are, do you want, I mean, look, you're, you're a serious talk show host now. Do you want to have, do you want to have a family, Adam? Are you going to be a, uh, you're going to have a child?

• 31:32Speaker 04

  What does that have to do with the talk show?

• 31:33Stavros Halkias?

  I'm just wondering, you're, it seems like you're setting.

• 31:35Speaker 04

  Fuck my wife on the show?

• 31:36Stavros Halkias?

  No, I'm saying you're, you've set yourself up for your career now, you know? This is it. You're going to fucking keep doing this. Um, and like, it's something you can, little baby, little Adam Jr. Can be proud of.

• 31:49Speaker 04

  It's not Adam Jr.

• 31:50Stavros Halkias?

  What's it gonna be?

• 31:52Stavros Halkias?

  Stavros, you're gonna name it after me? Stavros Cristiano Ronaldo Friedland?

• 31:57Speaker 04

  The finest man, Stav Nick Friedland.

• 31:59Stavros Halkias?

  Stav Nick.

• 32:02Stavros Halkias?

  Stavros Nicholas Friedland, it would be an awesome name, dude.

• 32:05Speaker 04

  It's one name.

• 32:06Stavros Halkias?

  Stavros Nicholas.

• 32:07Speaker 04

  It's like a guy with two names. It's like, yeah, Mary Anne or.

• 32:14Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, that's all, you know what?

• 32:15Speaker 04

  They're both a million.

• 32:16Stavros Halkias?

  Of all the, you know, there's some, of the parasocial stuff, if somebody names their child Stavros Nicholas, or even Nicholas Stavros, uh, you know, I'm not proud.

• 32:24Speaker 04

  You can get Adam in there.

• 32:26Stavros Halkias?

  Well, I don't know, I guess three's kind of a crowd in a situation like that.

• 32:29Speaker 04

  Not if you're Latino, you could have a million.

• 32:31Stavros Halkias?

  That's true, if you're Brazilian.

• 32:33Speaker 04

  If you're.

• 32:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if it's a Latino. Yeah, you can get Adam if you're Latino or Brazilian.

• 32:39Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 32:40Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, but if you're come from a tradition, but I like that. If we create the name Stavros Nicholas as a Mary Anne.

• 32:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Ba, ba, ba, ba. Stav, Stav, Stav, Stav, Stav Nick.

• 32:57Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 32:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, that would be nice. Stavros Nicholas Tom Myers Friedland.

• 33:03Stavros Halkias?

  Damn, that's the white whale for the Adam Friedland show.

• 33:06Speaker 04

  He, I, I, we, I offered him five thousand dollars.

• 33:11Stavros Halkias?

  Not enough, bro. Don't lowball the king, man.

• 33:13Speaker 04

  I would give him, man.

• 33:14Stavros Halkias?

  Twenty K of Sweet at the Plaza.

• 33:16Speaker 04

  I've never paid him a guest.

• 33:18Stavros Halkias?

  Twenty K of Sweet at the Plaza, all the, all the fucking.

• 33:21Speaker 04

  Premium pussy.

• 33:23Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah.

• 33:23Speaker 04

  Buy, offer him an escort. Yeah. I'd introduce him to Chris Cuomo.

• 33:28Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 33:29Speaker 04

  That would actually maybe do it.

• 33:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 33:31Speaker 04

  Cause he is like a, he's.

• 33:32Stavros Halkias?

  He wants to be, oh dude, you're actually kind of stealing his, he sees, dude.

• 33:38Speaker 04

  Politipod? I'm doing the Politipod.

• 33:40Stavros Halkias?

  You're doing Politipod. You're stealing Tom Meyer's career.

• 33:46Stavros Halkias?

  You're literally doing Politipod.

• 33:49Speaker 04

  I didn't realize. I do have Jeff, uh, what's his name?

• 33:53Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, fuck.

• 33:54Speaker 04

  Something Jewish.

• 33:56Stavros Halkias?

  I don't remember.

• 33:57Speaker 04

  That, that comic.

• 33:58Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah.

• 33:59Speaker 04

  Do you remember his act? He was like, I'm like one of the, I'm a cool, I'm like the cool older guy in my office.

• 34:04Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, I do know. I remember that guy.

• 34:06Speaker 04

  This guy is terrifying women.

• 34:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 34:10Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, huh? Is it? Oh, maybe. We can bleep it out.

• 34:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. Look up, look at, see if there are videos of him.

• 34:20Stavros Halkias?

  I think that's him, but it doesn't matter, dude. I'm just looking at Shacon.

• 34:22Speaker 04

  No, no, we gotta say. He was.

• 34:24Stavros Halkias?

  This is their Tom Cruise and that makes him so famous. He might be the famous guy, the most famous guy.

• 34:31Speaker 04

  No, I think it's Speed, Cristiano Ronaldo and Kim Kardashian. Probably, at this point.

• 34:39Stavros Halkias?

  Nah, dude. You're fucking under, you're not giving Shacon enough fucking.

• 34:43Speaker 04

  Shane Gillis, Speed.

• 34:44Stavros Halkias?

  No, no.

• 34:45Speaker 04

  Cristiano Ronaldo.

• 34:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, as far, as far as white boys, yes, absolutely.

• 34:49Speaker 04

  Matt Rife, yeah.

• 34:50Stavros Halkias?

  Ooh, that's true.

• 34:51Speaker 04

  Rife is big.

• 34:52Stavros Halkias?

  Rife, Rife.

• 34:53Speaker 04

  Rife is huge.

• 34:54Stavros Halkias?

  Rife is, yeah.

• 34:55Speaker 04

  Joe Coy, Cristiano Ronaldo.

• 34:57Stavros Halkias?

  Joe Coy.

• 34:58Speaker 04

  Ethnic Axl.

• 35:00Stavros Halkias?

  That is true.

• 35:01Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 35:03Stavros Halkias?

  I wanna, I wanna throw on a Shacon movie.

• 35:05Speaker 04

  Do you remember when we watched the fluffy reality show in a, in a hotel once?

• 35:09Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, no, that was in Canada, wasn't it?

• 35:10Speaker 04

  It was in Canada, yeah, yeah. It was him and his boys. And they, it was just, it was.

• 35:16Stavros Halkias?

  There was not much to it.

• 35:17Speaker 04

  There, it was in, nothing.

• 35:19Stavros Halkias?

  There was not much to it.

• 35:20Speaker 04

  It was nothing.

• 35:21Stavros Halkias?

  A good watch, if you wanna see what life on the road is like.

• 35:24Speaker 04

  That was in, uh, in Roseanne's house.

• 35:26Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah.

• 35:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 35:28Stavros Halkias?

  In Edmonton?

• 35:29Speaker 04

  That tour, man.

• 35:30Stavros Halkias?

  The tour of Canada, man, well, it'll never happen again.

• 35:33Speaker 04

  All of our lives were falling apart.

• 35:35Stavros Halkias?

  That's true.

• 35:36Speaker 04

  We were all breaking up with girls at the same time.

• 35:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 35:40Speaker 04

  We can take all that out.

• 35:41Stavros Halkias?

  No, when was that?

• 35:43Speaker 04

  I was being cheated on. You were, we were like.

• 35:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I remember that. Oh, man.

• 35:48Speaker 04

  That was around the.

• 35:49Stavros Halkias?

  You were getting cheated on by a guy who was gayer than you somehow?

• 35:53Speaker 04

  Well, it's better than a guy that's straighter than me.

• 35:56Stavros Halkias?

  The guy looked.

• 35:56Speaker 04

  Thank God.

• 35:57Stavros Halkias?

  The guy who got, you got cucked by legit looked like he was like first stages of.

• 36:01Speaker 04

  Which one?

• 36:02Stavros Halkias?

  N to F.

• 36:02Speaker 04

  Which one?

• 36:06Speaker 04

  Well, you would rather a guy that's straighter than you?

• 36:09Stavros Halkias?

  That's a good philo, that's a good philosophical question.

• 36:10Speaker 04

  Thank God it was a guy gayer than me.

• 36:12Stavros Halkias?

  Cause the gay guy probably wasn't really pounding it, you know what I'm saying?

• 36:15Speaker 04

  Dude, if you think about it, that's like, it's like Cosby.

• 36:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 36:20Speaker 04

  It's like, oh, I'm one of the girls and then like end of the, oh, we can sleep in bed together.

• 36:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 36:28Speaker 04

  Like four AM.

• 36:32Speaker 04

  It's like, it's like a Spanish fly of a guy.

• 36:34Stavros Halkias?

  I guess.

• 36:35Speaker 04

  It's like a gay, yeah, yeah.

• 36:37Stavros Halkias?

  I guess if I had to choose, I guess I would go gay, get cucked by a gay guy instead of like a really hyper masculine.

• 36:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, what do you, I, I don't wanna be cucked by like a, someone more successful and better than me.

• 36:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, true.

• 36:49Speaker 04

  Well, I, I'm not even talking about success. Nathan Fielder was fucking my girlfriend, I'd be like, oh wow, he's a more successful Jewish.

• 36:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 36:56Speaker 04

  Also genius, but more genius.

• 36:59Speaker 04

  Uh, just a little bit more genius. A little bit more.

• 37:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I can't, yeah, this is really your, your, Nathan, for you, I can't wait to see what your rehearsal is.

• 37:08Speaker 04

  You would, you would wanna loser to be the other guy.

• 37:11Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, it's not loser, I meant literally like homosexual presenting. I meant like somebody who's gonna like lightly fuck your girl, like.

• 37:19Speaker 04

  Think about it, listen to the stories.

• 37:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 37:22Speaker 04

  A gay guy's gonna be like, oh my god, that bitch.

• 37:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, do like kind of annoying stuff.

• 37:26Speaker 04

  You know how bad the stories are?

• 37:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, like I'd rather somebody, I'd rather I get cucked in a way that I can't provide that to you.

• 37:33Speaker 04

  They should get married to gay guys.

• 37:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 37:35Speaker 04

  They'll listen, they'll give foot rubs, they'll do French braids. They're probably better husbands than we would be.

• 37:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, but you know, you still want to get.

• 37:44Speaker 04

  They're attentive.

• 37:45Stavros Halkias?

  But, but you know, I just don't want someone.

• 37:46Speaker 04

  They don't want to have sex with us.

• 37:48Stavros Halkias?

  I, you know, that, you know, they want to get dick down though, and I don't want to be cheated on in a dick down fashion.

• 37:53Speaker 04

  I just talked.

• 37:53Stavros Halkias?

  I don't want to be cucked because I wasn't laying pipe good enough.

• 37:56Speaker 04

  I just.

• 37:56Stavros Halkias?

  That would hurt my feelings.

• 37:57Speaker 04

  I just talked to my high school friend who's been complaining for eight years that his wife won't let him fuck the shit out of her. And, uh, finally he's saying, I don't know if it's gonna work out, dude.

• 38:08Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 38:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 38:09Stavros Halkias?

  Why? Cause?

• 38:10Speaker 04

  Cause she won't let him fuck.

• 38:12Stavros Halkias?

  So what, he has to gently fuck his wife?

• 38:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, he's like, dude, she just wants me to ro- romantically fuck her. Like it's your, it's the mother of your children.

• 38:21Stavros Halkias?

  He never gets to really let loose, ever?

• 38:24Speaker 04

  Uh, you're taking this more seriously than I do.

• 38:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I wonder.

• 38:27Speaker 04

  I would start laughing, wouldn't I?

• 38:28Stavros Halkias?

  No, I mean, it's, it's a real concern, Adam.

• 38:30Speaker 04

  It must be tough.

• 38:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 38:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, it must be tough.

• 38:32Stavros Halkias?

  Sexual incompatibility, that's tough on a long-term relationship.

• 38:36Speaker 04

  What it is, is this, is like, it could be if he cheats one time and fucks the shit, then he realizes, oh, I love my wife.

• 38:43Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 38:44Speaker 04

  It's like with fake tits. When, like, I was growing up, i- if we were at like PF Chang's and a lady with fake tits sat down next to us, my dad, we would, we'd be with the family, my dad would just. Like the rest of the meal.

• 38:57Stavros Halkias?

  He'd zero in on the fake breasts.

• 38:59Speaker 04

  Right, cause you think fake tits, tits are the best, but then when you feel one, one time.

• 39:03Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, you're not gonna, I'm not gonna follow you.

• 39:05Speaker 04

  When I was eighteen, I honked one, I was like, this is hard and not as nice as a smushy, right? They make smushies now.

• 39:11Stavros Halkias?

  Technology's out of control these days.

• 39:12Speaker 04

  I understand, but if my dad honked one hard.

• 39:15Stavros Halkias?

  Right, you think he'd be over it?

• 39:16Speaker 04

  He wouldn't have embarrassed us for, for my entire life.

• 39:19Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know, because.

• 39:20Speaker 04

  We could have just had the ch- the chicken lettuce wraps.

• 39:22Stavros Halkias?

  Well, which are great.

• 39:23Speaker 04

  Which are phenomenal.

• 39:24Stavros Halkias?

  Which are phenomenal.

• 39:25Speaker 04

  And he's just, he's eating chicken lettuce wraps at a pair of tits.

• 39:29Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know, you don't, you think, so you think your dad should have honked fake tits?

• 39:32Speaker 04

  If he got one honk, it would have been better for the family.

• 39:36Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right, get out of your system.

• 39:37Speaker 04

  And it would be like, oh, this, these.

• 39:39Stavros Halkias?

  What if he was addicted to them though, dude? They're also visually cool. You see big fake tits, even when you're fucking, it's kinda awesome.

• 39:46Speaker 04

  I think that, I think he proves his worth to the family. I, I would have to imagine he just wouldn't have looked as much.

• 39:53Stavros Halkias?

  Would you get your father a high-end prostitute with big fake tits?

• 39:56Speaker 04

  I've tried.

• 39:59Speaker 04

  I've tried a low-end, I've tried a medium. I tried, yeah, I tried.

• 40:05Stavros Halkias?

  That would be, that would be a good son. If I have a son and I'm a widow, I would love, if I make it that far, which who knows, I would love for my son to buy me pussy.

• 40:14Speaker 04

  He's, he's, my dad, we were on vacation recently, he's chatting.

• 40:19Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, really?

• 40:19Speaker 04

  He's, yeah, yeah.

• 40:20Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting.

• 40:21Speaker 04

  He's chatting.

• 40:21Stavros Halkias?

  Is there an old guy dating app? Or is he just chatting like old acquaintances?

• 40:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, I don't know.

• 40:31Stavros Halkias?

  Was, I'm not gonna bleep out who it was, but you know an older man cleaning up on Bumble?

• 40:36Speaker 04

  I know the age demographic of his kids, they're prob, I actually do know his kids are huge fans of yours.

• 40:42Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, wow. Look at that.

• 40:43Speaker 04

  And they think Marsha's gay.

• 40:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Hey, listen, I know plenty of Greek guys that love the Adam Friedland show.

• 40:50Speaker 04

  Really?

• 40:50Stavros Halkias?

  Plenty of contractors that are like, yeah.

• 40:53Speaker 04

  Really? Your father?

• 40:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, my dad loves Soder on.

• 40:56Speaker 04

  He liked the Jadakiss episode?

• 40:58Stavros Halkias?

  He absolutely, he knows who you or any of my friends are, that's for sure. My dad, damn, I just, my dad has no idea who anyone but like, eldest is. Like, he has no fucking clue. Like, we worked together for, my mom does, obviously.

• 41:15Speaker 04

  He doesn't even know who.

• 41:16Stavros Halkias?

  So fucking funny.

• 41:16Speaker 04

  He doesn't even know George or Nick.

• 41:18Stavros Halkias?

  He knows George, but I mean like.

• 41:19Speaker 04

  No, I mean, I mean your brothers.

• 41:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 41:21Speaker 04

  He barely knows the twins.

• 41:23Stavros Halkias?

  He knows, he knows my brothers, but like, it's crazy that he probably has no idea who you or Nick are.

• 41:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, of course.

• 41:28Stavros Halkias?

  My dad, he is that checked out in my life. No, but it's so fucking funny. We worked together for so long, it's like, he has no idea who Soder is.

• 41:36Speaker 04

  My dad called me to say Stav is quite good on tires.

• 41:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 41:40Speaker 04

  And why, why don't I have a, I mean, it's obviously.

• 41:46Stavros Halkias?

  Shout out to Big Max, man.

• 41:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 41:48Stavros Halkias?

  Bring him through again.

• 41:49Speaker 04

  I'm loving him, Max.

• 41:50Stavros Halkias?

  Bring him through, we'll buy him some pussy with big fake tits if he, if he wants. I'll go half, dude.

• 41:54Speaker 04

  What you said, you, I mean, you're doing great these days.

• 41:57Stavros Halkias?

  Alright, I'll do the whole thing, Jesus Christ.

• 41:59Speaker 04

  Cyrus will one hundred percent.

• 42:01Stavros Halkias?

  I will, I actually would.

• 42:02Speaker 04

  This is on the record.

• 42:03Stavros Halkias?

  Can I tell you that? I absolutely would.

• 42:05Speaker 04

  I wouldn't, dude. Puts a lot of pressure on it. No, cuz he's a romantic guy.

• 42:10Stavros Halkias?

  How about this? We hire a young lady, or not even young, his age, right? A pro. Let him think he picked her up.

• 42:17Speaker 04

  That would one thousand percent work.

• 42:19Stavros Halkias?

  That's what I'm saying.

• 42:20Speaker 04

  That, I mean, one thousand percent.

• 42:21Stavros Halkias?

  We'll go to a bar, how about, we go to a bar, right?

• 42:23Speaker 04

  Angel, I met Angel, and she, she quite literally is an angel.

• 42:31Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, we could do that for sure.

• 42:32Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 42:32Stavros Halkias?

  We're getting drinks in a bar. I'm like, you know, I'm like, dude, chick, I think they're looking over here. I go chat him up, you know, bring him over. I think we can make that happen, dude.

• 42:41Speaker 04

  It's cute, though, because like, my, my, after my mom passed, you see them become like, you remember how like, how scary, how scary it was? Like, if you didn't know if a girl wanted to kiss you back?

• 42:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 42:52Speaker 04

  There's like, you go back into like fourteen?

• 42:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 42:55Speaker 04

  And it's like, oh, it's like, oh, oh, I love you.

• 42:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 42:58Speaker 04

  I love you, brother.

• 42:58Stavros Halkias?

  That's interesting.

• 42:59Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 43:00Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe put a-

• 43:00Speaker 04

  You're a great guy, you're funny.

• 43:02Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, believe in yourself. You have a lot to offer, man.

• 43:05Speaker 04

  I mean, yeah, pretty much, yeah.

• 43:10Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe a nursing home? I mean, they, they fuck over there.

• 43:13Speaker 04

  Oh, come on, we're not talking about it.

• 43:15Stavros Halkias?

  We don't, you know.

• 43:15Speaker 04

  No, he's good, we-

• 43:16Stavros Halkias?

  Not, I'm sorry, not nursing home, like a, uh, communit, a fifty-five plus community.

• 43:21Speaker 04

  He can see right through that.

• 43:23Stavros Halkias?

  I think that's a good, I would love to live there if I'm old. You could, you, you qualify in like, pretty soon, actually.

• 43:28Speaker 04

  I'm gonna send him to the, the sandals, Jamaica sexual one, the sexual sandals.

• 43:33Stavros Halkias?

  Just get him a fucking suite year round?

• 43:35Speaker 04

  What's it called? There's like a sex one.

• 43:37Stavros Halkias?

  I don't think it's sandals.

• 43:38Speaker 04

  It's not sandals, but there's like a sex scandal, or sex sandals.

• 43:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, a sex, Jamaican sex resort.

• 43:45Speaker 04

  Resort, yeah, uh.

• 43:47Stavros Halkias?

  Hedonism.

• 43:48Speaker 04

  Hedonism, yeah, Hedonism to Negril. We're gonna send Max there. Actually, we're gonna go with Max.

• 43:54Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, you would go to Hedonism with your dad?

• 43:56Speaker 04

  Yes, well-

• 43:57Stavros Halkias?

  There's no way that's good, by the way.

• 43:58Speaker 04

  He might fumble and come back into the hotel, and Sav and I are gonna have to give him a, a pep talk.

• 44:03Stavros Halkias?

  Let's see the reviews for Hedonism Negril.

• 44:05Speaker 04

  Four point six, it's the highest hotel I've ever seen.

• 44:08Stavros Halkias?

  We really enjoyed our stay there, so there was very maintaining.

• 44:10Speaker 04

  The Plaza is like four point one.

• 44:12Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, yeah.

• 44:16Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm, does this say anything about the sex? Go to-

• 44:18Speaker 04

  What a fabulous spot.

• 44:20Stavros Halkias?

  Go to Heterism Tuna Grill Reviews-

• 44:22Speaker 04

  Louis Goss-

• 44:23Stavros Halkias?

  Outside of Google.

• 44:26Speaker 04

  Just maybe videos of, uh, men there that-

• 44:31Stavros Halkias?

  From a first-timer's perspective, yeah.

• 44:33Speaker 04

  No, TripAdvisor's bullshit.

• 44:34Stavros Halkias?

  We came to Hito too for the first time with some friends for Halloween week.

• 44:38Speaker 04

  This lady-

• 44:38Stavros Halkias?

  We are relatively new to this type of travel, in parentheses, lifestyle-friendly. And I love how they call it the lifestyle.

• 44:45Speaker 04

  Swinging? Yeah, the lifestyle.

• 44:48Stavros Halkias?

  Go down all the way, what the fuck?

• 44:51Stavros Halkias?

  Keep going down, pussy. Heterism is not just for swingers. It's a clothing-optional, lifestyle-friendly resort. And you will get out of it what you put into it. If you wanna go naked, that's all you need to do. If you wanna get wild, there is plenty of that, winky face.

• 45:05Speaker 04

  We gotta go with Max.

• 45:07Stavros Halkias?

  There is a prude side, you can keep your clothes on, and a nu- oh, the prude and the nude side. There are orientations offered daily from the lobby. I recommend taking the tour.

• 45:16Speaker 04

  Dad, what are you doing in the prude side?

• 45:18Stavros Halkias?

  Get out of the prude side.

• 45:20Speaker 04

  Go to the nude side!

• 45:20Stavros Halkias?

  Fluff your shit up. We went with Tom's Trips, but there were several groups there. The Fluffer Nutter's, Char Travel, Excite. The plus side to signing with the group is that you instantly have a tribe of other people you can connect. Imagine being like, the- I sucked off the guys I went on a fucking walking tour of Jamaica. Women who travel alone will have a lot more fun and have more access than men traveling alone, no shit.

• 45:46Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, man. There are groups for young people, older people, singles, couples, and all colors of the rainbow.

• 45:51Speaker 04

  Sounds incredible.

• 45:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dude. Heterism is an all-inclusive resort. What that means, there are plenty of activities to take part in. Anyway, good stuff, man. For couples, there's also a Kama Sutra Palace, which offers tantric couples massage. Oh, they'll jerk you off, too. They'll jerk you and your wife off, too. We did a couple of these classes and it was great. Next time, we definitely trying a tantric massage. That's so fucking funny.

• 46:16Speaker 04

  A couples massage, three to four hu- what, I- no, that's-

• 46:19Stavros Halkias?

  Three to four hundred dollars?

• 46:20Speaker 04

  Hidden fees?

• 46:21Stavros Halkias?

  Dude.

• 46:22Speaker 04

  I want all-inclusive.

• 46:23Stavros Halkias?

  You're getting jacked off with your fucking- with your wife, dude.

• 46:25Speaker 04

  She's squirting while some Swedish guy is-

• 46:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 46:30Stavros Halkias?

  An old woman is jerking you off.

• 46:31Speaker 04

  Babe, you enjoying it?

• 46:34Speaker 04

  Babe, how is it?

• 46:35Stavros Halkias?

  Is it good, baby?

• 46:42Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, fuck dude.

• 46:43Speaker 04

  He's never done this for me.

• 46:47Speaker 04

  Yes, I do want to have kids, Stavros.

• 46:49Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, great. I have a clock ticking, man.

• 46:52Speaker 04

  What about you?

• 46:53Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know. I could be in, I, I'm in, I'm settling into the uncle lifestyle. My nephew's cute as hell.

• 46:58Speaker 04

  Come on, we gotta fight him. We gotta have these.

• 47:00Stavros Halkias?

  That would be fun.

• 47:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 47:01Stavros Halkias?

  Alright, let me know when you're thinking and I'll try and maybe nut in somebody who I like.

• 47:05Speaker 04

  We can get a surrogate for you.

• 47:07Stavros Halkias?

  I'm a single dad.

• 47:08Speaker 04

  Yes, a single dad.

• 47:09Stavros Halkias?

  That's actually awesome.

• 47:10Speaker 04

  Everyone would be like, Stavros is the best guy in the world.

• 47:13Stavros Halkias?

  That actually would be awesome. Singles, yeah dude. Maybe I will. If you have a kid too, Elde, if everybody's having kids, I can't be left out.

• 47:21Speaker 05

  Get in there, man.

• 47:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 47:22Speaker 04

  Els, you want kids?

• 47:24Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 47:25Speaker 04

  What are you gonna name him? Stav Nick is taken.

• 47:29Speaker 05

  Stavros Nicholas was my, was definitely on my shortlist.

• 47:34Speaker 05

  Yeah, I'm a big Come Town fan.

• 47:37Stavros Halkias?

  He's gonna name him Ian Faidansula.

• 47:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, you're gonna have to get the crap ones.

• 47:44Speaker 04

  Faidas Vinnie.

• 47:48Speaker 04

  Dude, did you see Vinnie's post, like, the fair, after we posted our farewell?

• 47:53Stavros Halkias?

  That guy's awesome, dude.

• 47:54Speaker 04

  It was the best thing. Can you please find it?

• 47:56Stavros Halkias?

  Did he only do it one time?

• 47:58Speaker 04

  He did it like, maybe twice.

• 47:59Stavros Halkias?

  But it's like, the amount he's made that his personality is incredible, dude.

• 48:03Speaker 04

  He, he, I, I let him do a, uh...

• 48:05Stavros Halkias?

  We don't have to, we're not giving Vinnie any more airtime.

• 48:08Speaker 04

  No, no, we have to read it. No, no, no, no, no.

• 48:09Stavros Halkias?

  We're not, we're not.

• 48:09Speaker 04

  No, no.

• 48:09Stavros Halkias?

  I'm putting my foot down, man. This is my show.

• 48:11Speaker 04

  First of all, if he's a father, he, he sells Disney merch.

• 48:14Stavros Halkias?

  We're not reading anything Vinnie fucking wrote, man.

• 48:17Speaker 04

  He rips, he rips off tourists at Disney. That's his thing.

• 48:22Stavros Halkias?

  He's smart on that. I'll get, listen, I'll tip my hat to that, but...

• 48:24Speaker 04

  He also, anytime you, eh, listen, you, eh, viewer included, anytime anyone needs fast pass access to any of the Orlando resorts, you hit up Vinnie.

• 48:35Stavros Halkias?

  Is he out there? Is he in Orlando?

• 48:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, and, and he's making a killing on the Disney merch. Uh, uh, yeah, he's like, "Oh, stop it, can you..."

• 48:44Stavros Halkias?

  He's X-ing out, man. He's about to get the questions up. It's time for us to help our, our, our callers.

• 48:49Speaker 04

  I really need to find this Vinnie post.

• 48:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, listen, man, save that for the Adam Friedland Show. We're a serious podcast around here.

• 48:56Speaker 04

  Stop. I talk to like, Butros Butros Gollum. I can't, I don't have a...

• 49:00Stavros Halkias?

  You should have, you should have Vinnie as like your correspondent. He can be like your Stephen Colbert to your Jon Stewart.

• 49:05Speaker 04

  And then he makes a better show?

• 49:08Stavros Halkias?

  The Vinnie Rapore.

• 49:10Speaker 04

  The Vinnie Rapore.

• 49:12Stavros Halkias?

  The scumbag Vinnie Rapore.

• 49:14Speaker 04

  The scum Rapore. He's the best person I've ever met in my life. I don't have my phone. I would have, I would have broken your rules.

• 49:22Stavros Halkias?

  No, it's okay. We would have fucking, we would have just fucking bleeped it all out.

• 49:26Speaker 04

  No, you wouldn't have.

• 49:29Stavros Halkias?

  Okay. Why don't we do, why don't we fucking answer some calls here? Uh, but you know, as in the meantime, go watch the Adam Friedland Show.

• 49:38Speaker 04

  Thank you, Sabra, of course. What do you say, Eldis?

• 49:41Speaker 05

  Go watch it. Great program.

• 49:43Speaker 04

  Did you see it? You saw the first episode?

• 49:45Speaker 05

  Uh, watched a couple of minutes of it.

• 49:49Stavros Halkias?

  He let it play though while he was editing, man. We got you a couple of views. Don't worry about it.

• 49:53Speaker 05

  Yeah. I've clicked on it a few times.

• 49:57Speaker 05

  I see Anthony Weiner. I'm like, like, I gotta get to the dick stuff like fast, you know?

• 50:02Speaker 04

  Well, the dick stuff, I'll give you the time.

• 50:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 50:04Speaker 05

  Yeah, send the time codes. We'd love to see those. Yeah, make it, make it easy so you can peruse later, Eldis. So you can peruse.

• 50:16Speaker 05

  Go watch the Adam Friedland Show.

• 50:18Stavros Halkias?

  There you go. Clip that. Put it at the beginning of every program.

• 50:22Speaker 04

  Do it, press, do it, press, get in the word out about the show.

• 50:27Speaker 04

  Thank you, Saaf.

• 50:28Stavros Halkias?

  What else, who else you got, man? Who's on the press tour? Are you doing The View?

• 50:32Speaker 04

  I'm doing Patrick Bet David. I literally am trying to get on that show right now.

• 50:39Speaker 04

  Oh, and then I'm doing this show that gets as many downloads as, uh, I don't know. Yeah, I, I booked it. Uh, Midas Touch? It's the liberal Rogan, actually.

• 50:50Stavros Halkias?

  I've never heard of that in my life.

• 50:51Speaker 04

  I've never heard of it. My father asked me about what it is constantly.

• 50:55Stavros Halkias?

  The Midas Touch?

• 50:56Speaker 04

  Look it up. The Mi- it's, uh, it's apparently, uh, making our parents feel a lot better.

• 51:04Stavros Halkias?

  Five million followers?

• 51:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's huge.

• 51:06Stavros Halkias?

  What the fuck?

• 51:07Speaker 04

  I have no idea. I've.

• 51:09Stavros Halkias?

  Let's.

• 51:10Speaker 04

  The fastest growing independent news network?

• 51:11Stavros Halkias?

  And guess what? They're gonna, they're gonna show a lot more respect around those.

• 51:17Stavros Halkias?

  Anyway, I'm not interested in this, this looks fucking gay.

• 51:19Speaker 04

  No, everyone should check out, um, MAGA Trouble Mike.

• 51:24Speaker 04

  I shouldn't shit on you.

• 51:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, whatever.

• 51:27Speaker 04

  What an opportunity.

• 51:28Stavros Halkias?

  Congratulations, man.

• 51:29Speaker 04

  I'm doing no jumper, uh...

• 51:32Stavros Halkias?

  You're gonna, you're gonna get fucked by Adam 22? You do the one, they're like, "Oh, sorry, man, we don't have no jumper, but you can do the one I do with Lena."

• 51:39Speaker 05

  He's like, "Adam, I want you to fuck Lena."

• 51:43Speaker 04

  I'm in a relationship. I, I have a bucket spot, I think, for Kill Tony. I'm in the hour. And if I get a gold, if I get a gold ticket, I, at the mothership...

• 51:55Stavros Halkias?

  You're lining up at the mothership to plug the Adam Friedland Show on your minute?

• 51:59Speaker 04

  On the road, like, the, the kids that opened, that's like, for a while, it was like, "I'm gonna move to New York and get on Roast Battle," and now, it's like, they like, uh, take a, like, a freight train and a stick and a bindle.

• 52:11Stavros Halkias?

  It's incredible.

• 52:11Speaker 04

  And they're like, uh, waiting in an alleyway for, for the king maker.

• 52:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's crazy. I mean, it's like, you do four minutes of stand-up.

• 52:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 52:20Stavros Halkias?

  And you can sell out, you know, American Comedy Company in San Diego, like, the next week. If you did it four times in a row, it is cra- it's like, remember back...

• 52:29Speaker 04

  Casey Rocket is doing stadiums.

• 52:31Stavros Halkias?

  Remember when we were...

• 52:32Speaker 04

  He's pretty funny.

• 52:33Stavros Halkias?

  I like, yeah, that guy's funny. Remember when we were open mic'ing, like, everyone from Chelsea Lately weirdly got to have a career? Kill Tony is the new Chelsea Lately.

• 52:41Speaker 04

  Joe Coy's there on Chelsea.

• 52:42Stavros Halkias?

  Really? Look at that.

• 52:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 52:44Stavros Halkias?

  Well, they would be lucky to, to have the kind of coaching tree that Chelsea does, dude.

• 52:48Speaker 04

  Oh, my gosh, she's like Mike Holmgren.

• 52:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 52:53Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, all right, Elvis, play some fucking calls, little buddy.

• 52:58Speaker 06

  Hey, Elvis, hey, El. Got a moral dilemma. Try to make it quick. There are a lot of details, but essentially, my, uh, mother-in-law is a piece of shit. And she inherited a bunch of money from her late husband. And now, my wife took control of all her, her assets.

• 53:17Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, wow.

• 53:18Speaker 06

  And, uh, put her in a nursing home, cause she's mentally not well.

• 53:25Speaker 06

  And can't take care of herself.

• 53:27Stavros Halkias?

  Finister.

• 53:27Speaker 06

  And all the nursing homes keep kicking her out. She's been kicked out of homeless shelters. She's a real piece of shit.

• 53:33Stavros Halkias?

  Homeless shelters.

• 53:33Speaker 06

  So my wife's basically washing her hands of her mom and taking all of her money for her house.

• 53:40Stavros Halkias?

  What?

• 53:41Speaker 06

  And I think we're just gonna.

• 53:42Stavros Halkias?

  Pause it. What's up? Here, well, let's finish it.

• 53:46Speaker 04

  His wife is the piece of shit, not the mom.

• 53:48Stavros Halkias?

  Apparently, so he contends the mom is such a piece of shit that she's being kicked out of every.

• 53:54Speaker 04

  This is someone with advanced dementia.

• 53:56Stavros Halkias?

  I agree with you, but let's, let's finish the call.

• 54:00Speaker 06

  And I think we're just gonna not help her anymore.

• 54:04Stavros Halkias?

  Ooh, that's tough.

• 54:05Speaker 06

  At a.

• 54:06Speaker 04

  I don't want this on my conscience.

• 54:07Speaker 06

  Need to stop trying to help her.

• 54:09Stavros Halkias?

  What is she doing? It's so bad.

• 54:11Speaker 06

  Start thinking about ourselves and, you know, using all of her money.

• 54:16Speaker 04

  It's her money.

• 54:17Speaker 06

  I'm okay with it. I just need to, uh.

• 54:19Stavros Halkias?

  Jesus Christ.

• 54:20Speaker 04

  Stop, you have to stop doing this show.

• 54:22Stavros Halkias?

  No, we have to guide these people.

• 54:24Speaker 04

  There's gonna be a lawsuit or something.

• 54:25Speaker 06

  So bad that my wife maybe couldn't live with that guilt. But for me, I'm good with it. So, yeah, appreciate it. Bye.

• 54:33Stavros Halkias?

  Well, we're not gonna condone this. This is fucking insane.

• 54:36Speaker 04

  And he's asking stop.

• 54:38Stavros Halkias?

  I'm here.

• 54:38Speaker 04

  Okay, first of all, okay.

• 54:39Stavros Halkias?

  Go ahead.

• 54:42Speaker 04

  Potentially, you could give someone advice and then they, I don't know, like, uh, is there a legal, uh?

• 54:48Stavros Halkias?

  I don't think there's any.

• 54:49Speaker 04

  Have you talked to lawyers about this, stop?

• 54:50Stavros Halkias?

  This is an entertainment show only. These are fake calls.

• 54:53Speaker 04

  Has someone tried?

• 54:53Stavros Halkias?

  This is elders with a vocoder. Uh, these aren't real people.

• 54:57Speaker 04

  Court that they, they've made a call to, uh, to stop his world.

• 55:01Stavros Halkias?

  This is all satire, parody, whatever.

• 55:03Speaker 04

  World. It's gonna go to the Supreme Court.

• 55:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, we should start. They're gonna make us like flash a disclaimer at every, and I am, I have no.

• 55:10Speaker 04

  Sabre's hell kiss is not a legal.

• 55:11Stavros Halkias?

  It's not licensed anything.

• 55:13Speaker 05

  It's not a medical profession.

• 55:14Speaker 04

  Sabre's hell is. Sabre's hell is small penis.

• 55:17Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no, they wouldn't say that. They wouldn't, they wouldn't make me say that. They wouldn't say that. They wouldn't say that. No, no, that was not, would not be what they would make me say. They would make me say some kind of legal disclaimer.

• 55:30Speaker 04

  Micro penis is a medical designation.

• 55:32Stavros Halkias?

  It's not mic, even if it's small, it's not micro.

• 55:34Speaker 04

  To find out that you have micro penis.

• 55:35Stavros Halkias?

  Honestly, you know what?

• 55:36Speaker 04

  You need a doc.

• 55:37Stavros Halkias?

  I'm starting to get a little more penis confidence as I age.

• 55:40Speaker 04

  Me too.

• 55:41Stavros Halkias?

  I, I am starting to think my shit's not so bad.

• 55:44Speaker 04

  I don't hate it.

• 55:46Stavros Halkias?

  If I'm fully torqued, it's actually looking pretty good these days. You know, I've been walking a lot.

• 55:50Speaker 04

  You going to all natural?

• 55:51Stavros Halkias?

  I'll go, listen.

• 55:52Speaker 04

  Are you juicing?

• 55:53Stavros Halkias?

  I'll juice half the time when I really wanna make an impression.

• 55:56Speaker 04

  You're doing a half, half a Sosa.

• 55:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, exactly, exactly.

• 55:59Speaker 04

  You're doing a half a McGuire.

• 56:00Stavros Halkias?

  On a contract year, I'm juicing, but then once I get the contract, we're coasting on that.

• 56:05Speaker 04

  You got eight years, fifty million dollars a year. At this point, what are these contracts they're handing out?

• 56:11Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly.

• 56:11Speaker 04

  For baseball?

• 56:12Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 56:13Speaker 04

  Anyway.

• 56:13Stavros Halkias?

  And maybe the juices help me, cuz I see my dick really hard, and I'm like, this ain't so bad.

• 56:17Speaker 04

  Okay, this.

• 56:18Stavros Halkias?

  Anyway.

• 56:19Speaker 04

  This lady needs to go into a memory care facility because she has advanced dementia.

• 56:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, and also, it's her money, like, okay, let's say she is a complete piece of shit, right? Who's like, whatever, right?

• 56:33Speaker 04

  The wife might have power of attorney?

• 56:35Stavros Halkias?

  She does, but I'm saying, if we're talking about just morally, what's right and wrong. We can start at, even if your parents are complete pieces of dog shit, unless they really abused you or did something great, if they're just annoying, or they don't, you don't agree with them politically, or whatever, um, that, even if you have the means, you shouldn't let your, I mean, the fact that you even said she's gonna get out of homeless shelters, you shouldn't let this woman be in a fucking homeless shelter, right? That's just, if you have the means. But you have the means because of her. You've legally outmaneuvered a, a, a old woman with dementia to take her assets, and now you're just gonna, what? What is she gonna do?

• 57:16Speaker 04

  I'm really sad right now. This guy's making me sad. He's a bad person.

• 57:19Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, he's a piece of shit, for sure.

• 57:20Speaker 04

  He's a very bad person.

• 57:22Stavros Halkias?

  Unless we find out that this, you know, this woman like, you know, would fucking, put hot coals in his wife's like underwear, you know what I mean, like, like, beat the fuck out of her, was abused her.

• 57:32Speaker 04

  She said her late husband is probably a stepfather.

• 57:35Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

• 57:36Speaker 04

  Like, they, come, like, also, it's your family, it's your, listen, Stav and I, we know all about having annoying people in your family.

• 57:44Stavros Halkias?

  Of course, of course.

• 57:44Speaker 04

  They're your fucking family.

• 57:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 57:46Speaker 04

  Alright? This, oh, I don't give.

• 57:48Stavros Halkias?

  But not only that, it's one step further, because the only reason you have money is because of this woman. And so, even if you're like, she's a piece of shit, whatever, you need to have a percentage that you break off, to ensure that, like.

• 58:01Speaker 04

  As as the end of the state of Israel.

• 58:04Stavros Halkias?

  They'll take her. Like, we have some waterfront property for her.

• 58:10Stavros Halkias?

  Anyway. Like, you need to set aside a little bit of fucking money here, cuz it's not yours, it's hers. And you need to just like make sure she's taken care of. You're being really vague in a way that makes me think. You have no case here. You're like, she's just, she keeps getting kicked out. She's a, she's a piece of shit.

• 58:28Speaker 04

  They haven't started using the money. Is that right?

• 58:31Stavros Halkias?

  I think they have.

• 58:32Speaker 04

  No, they said, thinking about using, uh, you know, using her money.

• 58:37Speaker 05

  I think they have. I mean, I think the wife has it. They got, she's like power of attorney.

• 58:42Speaker 04

  Also, it's probably so funny why the lady got kicked out of the memory.

• 58:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, you gotta tell, we need a little more.

• 58:47Speaker 04

  Wild stuff there. But I'm thinking about my grandma when she was in there and it's, it's a really sad place.

• 58:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 58:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, she used to also leave the place they, like, she'd be like on the side of a highway or something. It's really scary.

• 58:58Stavros Halkias?

  Sucking dick under a bridge.

• 58:59Speaker 04

  And this gentleman.

• 59:00Stavros Halkias?

  Old habits die hard.

• 59:01Speaker 04

  This gentleman wants her to be surrounded by hobos.

• 59:06Speaker 04

  Wants to go, go to Skid Row.

• 59:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yep, yep. Yeah, I mean, that, you're being kind of a dickhead. You didn't give us enough information, but from what we have.

• 59:15Speaker 04

  You're not the star fan material, okay?

• 59:17Stavros Halkias?

  You're being a piece of shit.

• 59:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, we don't want you.

• 59:20Speaker 05

  He's, he's setting it up like, you know, in a way they're like.

• 59:23Stavros Halkias?

  Is she?

• 59:24Speaker 05

  It's not, they're not, he's not saying we're taking the moral high road, but kind of like hinting at that or like they deserve it cuz she was such a piece of shit. But the moral high ground here would be like, okay, this is your money. Well, you're out of our care.

• 59:37Stavros Halkias?

  Wash my hands of this.

• 59:37Speaker 05

  You're out of our care, but we're gonna give this place like power over your money to make sure you're like not on the street or something.

• 59:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 59:45Speaker 04

  Where is she now?

• 59:46Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly. There's no moral anything by your, you would be thieves. Who like, you're like, yes, my enemy is weakened. I can rob her. That's what you're describing.

• 59:56Speaker 04

  Enemy doesn't know she's alive.

• 59:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, we don't even know. Did he say she has dementia? What do you say about her?

• 1:00:02Speaker 05

  I don't think he specified dementia.

• 1:00:04Stavros Halkias?

  He's saying, I'm gonna make it quick. There are a lot of details, but essentially, no. You didn't make, give it, there's no essentially here. This is your reading of the.

• 1:00:11Speaker 04

  Mentally not well.

• 1:00:13Stavros Halkias?

  So anyway, you're an asshole if you do this. Your wife should feel guilt. You should also feel guilt, just on a human level.

• 1:00:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:00:20Stavros Halkias?

  Stealing, even from, stealing from a bad person, and then like destroying their lives when they would depend on you to help them. There's nothing good about that. You're a piece of shit. Do you have, and you especially did nothing here. Like, maybe your, if your wife was like, "This woman abused me. I've been waiting my whole life to get back at her." You know, I, I, I could see an argument for like, being like, "I'm taking the money to, for what you did to me, and I'm washing my hands of you." But even then, you're right, the only moral high ground is not taking the money. And if you are to take the money, you're like, "I'm taking half of this, and I'm writing you a check, and these, these people, you'll be in their care forever," or whatever. I'm sure,

• 1:01:02Stavros Halkias?

  I'm sure you could make some payment to someone where they wouldn't kick her out. You know what I mean? We don't have enough information, but the information we do have, you sound like a dickhead.

• 1:01:12Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, and you are, uh, evicted from Stavi's world.

• 1:01:15Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, unless you're a Patreon subscriber, we'll, we will take your money.

• 1:01:19Speaker 04

  Bastard's money? No, take it over to Joe Coy. We don't want your money.

• 1:01:22Stavros Halkias?

  The Joe Coy Patreon?

• 1:01:24Speaker 04

  Take it over to Coy.

• 1:01:24Stavros Halkias?

  Take it to Coy, baby.

• 1:01:25Speaker 04

  Take it over to, to Club Random, which I would love to do. Bill, if you're watching, I would love, I feel like we're doing kind of a...

• 1:01:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you're the, you're the millennial Bill Maher.

• 1:01:34Speaker 04

  I'm the, uh, yeah, I'm the,

• 1:01:38Speaker 04

  I'm the Rogan of the, of the not, of the, of the Nazi part.

• 1:01:43Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, hell yeah, dude. That'd be awesome.

• 1:01:46Stavros Halkias?

  Oh shit, it's time for something.

• 1:01:49Speaker 07

  This podcast is supported by Nurtac ODT, Remedy Pant. We know you didn't ask for an interruption, but migraine doesn't wait for the right moment to interrupt either. It just barges in, takes your time, and throws everything off. So, when migraine takes your time, take Nurtac. It's for the acute treatment of migraine with or without aura in adults. Nurtac can provide pain relief in two hours, which can last up to two days. Ask your healthcare provider if Nurtac is right for you, because your time is for you, not migraine. Don't take if allergic to Nurtac ODT. Allergic reactions can occur even days after use. Get help right away for trouble breathing, rash, swelling of face, mouth, tongue, or throat. High blood pressure and Raynaud's syndrome can occur. Get help for high blood pressure, numbness, coolness, pain, or color changes in fingers

• 1:02:34Speaker 07

  and toes. Common side effect is nausea. For full prescribing information, call 1-833-4-NURTC or visit Nurtac.com. All right, back to your podcast, playlist, or whatever's keeping you going today.

• 1:02:50Speaker 00

  Hey, it's me, Teddy Swims. You hear that? That's life. So go grab it. Grab your old friends, grab new friends, grab a White Claw. Grab flavor for everyone in your group. Grab music, laughter, and moments you'll never forget. You'll never regret it. Oh, hey, man. Grab new friends, grab old friends, grab life by the claw, White Claw.

• 1:03:16Speaker 01

  Please drink responsibly. White Claw Celta Works, Chicago, Illinois.

• 1:03:19Stavros Halkias?

  It's time for your favorite, it's time for your favorite segment, Adam. Whoa, what's going on? Holy shit. Oh.

• 1:03:27Speaker 04

  Can I have a, can I have a, some, some water?

• 1:03:29Stavros Halkias?

  Some, no, you can't, but you can have a different, you can have a delicious twisted tea, that's right.

• 1:03:34Speaker 04

  I had it last time, dude.

• 1:03:38Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah, we've got a delicious twisted tea for our pal, Adam. Here, and I'll, I'll crack one too, in fact. I'm having a raspberry, yeah.

• 1:03:46Speaker 04

  Having a drink?

• 1:03:48Stavros Halkias?

  I'm having a drink on the pot. When it comes time to keep it twisted, you just gotta have a, a beautiful twisted tea.

• 1:03:54Speaker 04

  Keep it twisted.

• 1:03:56Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, so good. 5% alcohol by volume, brewed with real iced tea. And we've got the motherfucking twisted ass question of the day, or week, or whatever the fuck.

• 1:04:06Speaker 04

  Wasn't that one?

• 1:04:08Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, it's coming up right now. Play us the twisted ass fucking question of the week.

• 1:04:12Speaker 04

  Keep it twisted. Hey, dog, how's it going? Okay, so I'm in a very strange scenario.

• 1:04:20Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:04:21Speaker 04

  So, a couple of years ago, my grandpa passed away.

• 1:04:25Stavros Halkias?

  I don't care.

• 1:04:26Speaker 04

  And I inherited some money from that.

• 1:04:28Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, another inheritance call.

• 1:04:31Speaker 04

  The only way I'd be able to afford a house is if I bought.

• 1:04:33Speaker 06

  A multi-unit place.

• 1:04:36Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 1:04:37Speaker 06

  Like a duplex and then rented one bit out. That would help me pay off the mortgage.

• 1:04:42Stavros Halkias?

  Landlord.

• 1:04:42Speaker 06

  Rent.

• 1:04:43Stavros Halkias?

  Not great.

• 1:04:44Speaker 06

  Um.

• 1:04:44Stavros Halkias?

  Well, I'm sorry, didn't you get money from your grandpa? You couldn't just buy a smaller house?

• 1:04:48Speaker 04

  He's saying he doesn't have a job and they would pay for his mortgage.

• 1:04:51Stavros Halkias?

  That sucks dude, fuck you, but keep going.

• 1:04:54Speaker 04

  Get a job.

• 1:04:56Speaker 06

  So basically, I'm a landlord. I'm in my mid twenties. And I'm renting out the other unit to this lady just found through. Um, whatever. And she, she's older than me.

• 1:05:13Stavros Halkias?

  Sick.

• 1:05:14Speaker 06

  And.

• 1:05:15Stavros Halkias?

  I like where this is going.

• 1:05:15Speaker 06

  Probably in her mid thirties. Very nice lady.

• 1:05:19Stavros Halkias?

  Sounds twisted.

• 1:05:20Speaker 04

  Not that old, not that old.

• 1:05:22Speaker 06

  Extremely flirty with me.

• 1:05:24Stavros Halkias?

  Uh oh.

• 1:05:25Speaker 06

  And I don't know what to do with this scenario. She's.

• 1:05:28Stavros Halkias?

  Incredible.

• 1:05:29Speaker 06

  Always making like eye contact.

• 1:05:31Stavros Halkias?

  Hey, I'm profiting off this woman's hard work. Should I also get pussy from her and further the moral gray area of being a landlord?

• 1:05:39Speaker 04

  Keep it twisted.

• 1:05:40Stavros Halkias?

  You are trying to keep it twisted.

• 1:05:41Speaker 04

  What if we get married?

• 1:05:43Stavros Halkias?

  Well, then yeah, then it's fine. That's the risk, but keep going.

• 1:05:45Speaker 04

  Is it romantic?

• 1:05:47Speaker 06

  Making like eye contact with me and talking with me and being super nice. And one time there's like a shared laundry. Thing outside.

• 1:05:56Stavros Halkias?

  Romantic.

• 1:05:58Speaker 06

  She like grabbed my hand at one point when we were talking because we're both doing laundry at the same time. Just like.

• 1:06:04Stavros Halkias?

  She got stuck in it?

• 1:06:05Speaker 06

  This lady's trying to fuck me.

• 1:06:08Stavros Halkias?

  Hey, stop. My tenant got stuck and her stepbro wasn't around to help her.

• 1:06:13Speaker 04

  There's a MILF that's renting out the unit. She got stuck in it.

• 1:06:17Stavros Halkias?

  I really like that genre, by the way.

• 1:06:19Speaker 04

  It's it's.

• 1:06:20Stavros Halkias?

  It it honestly appeals to me. I like the idea. I mean, I would, you know.

• 1:06:24Speaker 04

  I wish it was the real world.

• 1:06:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, I wish that happened all the time.

• 1:06:27Stavros Halkias?

  It would be cool if a woman you were having consensual sex with got stuck somewhere and you could fuck her. Anyway.

• 1:06:34Speaker 04

  I mean, it would be cool if it was helpful. Right, who's helpful? So the only way out. The only, yeah, yeah. Thank you for really for letting me out.

• 1:06:41Stavros Halkias?

  By fucking my pussy.

• 1:06:42Speaker 04

  The sex was phenomenal. But also I needed it to get out of being stuck in.

• 1:06:47Stavros Halkias?

  I'm stuck in this dishwasher. I love when they're like kind of they're barely in it. Like at least in the beginning when the genre started, they were really in there. But now it's like, come on, put a little effort into the stuck scenario.

• 1:07:02Speaker 04

  Think about J.J. Abrams.

• 1:07:05Stavros Halkias?

  There's one who was stuck under a window and it's like you could just lift the window. But she was sucking dick on the outside and getting fucked on the inside. So that was fun. They were they were innovating the space in that way.

• 1:07:15Speaker 04

  Did the two guys know each other or was it?

• 1:07:17Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know. I think, yeah, he called the neighbor over.

• 1:07:21Stavros Halkias?

  Um, all right. Keep going, Aldous.

• 1:07:23Speaker 04

  I don't know what to do in this scenario because I just, I don't know. I'm her landlord. That's a really bad idea.

• 1:07:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:33Speaker 04

  On the other hand, she's making advances and who am I to say no? She's pretty cute.

• 1:07:40Stavros Halkias?

  The guy who she depends on for housing?

• 1:07:42Speaker 04

  Obviously, there'd be no future with her. She's in the military. Oh, she's a baby killer. And I think she's she her lease is up in August in a couple of months from now. And she's planning on leaving. Anyway. Go play it by the booker or go rogue here, Stavvy. Stavvy, the fact that she's in the America ca ca ca military?

• 1:08:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, we've got a we've got a service member and a landlord, dude. We've got some members of the DSA that are furious about this call right now.

• 1:08:16Speaker 04

  This is a hecking baby brain.

• 1:08:20Speaker 04

  Normal, he's having a normal one.

• 1:08:24Speaker 04

  First of all, I think all of the military should be replaced with Jewish female therapists.

• 1:08:33Speaker 04

  Send those guys, those those broads over to Iraq. Send me to Iraq. Yeah.

• 1:08:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yep. Steve Harvey, great bit. Check it out.

• 1:08:42Speaker 04

  Check it out. Yeah, we've talked about it.

• 1:08:45Stavros Halkias?

  Talking about on our previous podcast.

• 1:08:47Speaker 04

  Nine years.

• 1:08:48Stavros Halkias?

  It is great. It is a great bit.

• 1:08:49Speaker 04

  I watched it the other day. It was so good.

• 1:08:51Stavros Halkias?

  I'll I'll pull up some Steve Harvey.

• 1:08:52Speaker 04

  He's really making a good point at the beginning and by the end he's the Geneva Convention is out the window.

• 1:08:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:59Speaker 04

  He's killing.

• 1:09:00Stavros Halkias?

  It's crazy.

• 1:09:01Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:09:01Stavros Halkias?

  So to answer our friend's question here, well, first of all, I would say get out of being a landlord as soon as you can, man. You you inherited some stuff. What do you mean get out of being a landlord? What's he gonna do?

• 1:09:14Speaker 04

  Sell it and get, if, if you're saying that it's because that's the only way you could afford it, like, sell that property.

• 1:09:20Stavros Halkias?

  He's not BlackRock, this guy. He's a guy who's, who probably is, is a barista, his grandfather died.

• 1:09:26Speaker 04

  Why would you wanna fucking do that? I don't know. I just, being a landlord seems like a hassle, first of all, and it's also like-

• 1:09:31Stavros Halkias?

  This guy voted for Bernie. He could, he was the one-

• 1:09:34Speaker 04

  Anyway, whatever. If we're just talking about the scenario here, if we're talking about keeping it twisted.

• 1:09:40Stavros Halkias?

  Her lease is up in a couple of months.

• 1:09:43Speaker 04

  And she's a killer. She's a baby killer.

• 1:09:45Stavros Halkias?

  She's, she's, you know, she's leaving. I would say if you, if you wait till the very, maybe the end of her lease, she's about to leave.

• 1:09:55Speaker 04

  That sounds arbitrary.

• 1:09:56Stavros Halkias?

  What do you mean?

• 1:09:57Speaker 04

  Well, actually, tension. You really know, it's kinda nice.

• 1:09:59Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, I just mean like she's about to leave. It's almost like you don't wanna try and, you know, hook up with somebody that you're a coworker with, but if you leave the job, you can ask them out.

• 1:10:09Speaker 04

  What if he's just honest with her? He's like, I, I feel-

• 1:10:11Stavros Halkias?

  Like Adam, as soon as I left Compton, Adam tried to suck my dick. And I was like, nah, I'm not, I'm not really, I'm not feeling it.

• 1:10:18Speaker 04

  I did that while we were doing- I didn't try, actually.

• 1:10:23Stavros Halkias?

  So I would, here's my twisted-

• 1:10:25Speaker 04

  You said it was your first time.

• 1:10:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, thank you for taking my-

• 1:10:28Speaker 04

  I've never-

• 1:10:28Stavros Halkias?

  My man's mouth virginity.

• 1:10:30Speaker 04

  Oh, your man's mouth?

• 1:10:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, oh no.

• 1:10:32Speaker 04

  I thought you said blowjob, this was my first time too.

• 1:10:37Stavros Halkias?

  It didn't feel like it, man. You were really good at it.

• 1:10:39Speaker 04

  People build up their first time as, it's gonna be special and it never is, but it really felt special.

• 1:10:45Stavros Halkias?

  It did, man. You really, you had it, you had it going.

• 1:10:48Speaker 04

  I don't know. What, why can't he just be like, hey, I don't know, this feels like I'm your landlord and I don't like, uh-

• 1:10:55Stavros Halkias?

  Nah, you can't be doing no shit like that.

• 1:10:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, no, no. I feel, I feel like, uh, yeah, you can't be like-

• 1:11:01Stavros Halkias?

  You got it. Here's what you do.

• 1:11:03Speaker 04

  Especially cuz she's not giving him any signals and he's just jerking off heavy upstairs.

• 1:11:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, look, lease is up in August. Yeah, exactly. That's the other thing is like-

• 1:11:10Speaker 04

  That's probably what's happening.

• 1:11:11Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, I know, that she's probably just being nice, probably, right? Now, she's in the military, she's probably nineteen or whatever. Um, she's probably like-

• 1:11:21Speaker 04

  He said she's older.

• 1:11:22Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, she's older, right.

• 1:11:23Speaker 04

  She's in her mid thirties.

• 1:11:23Stavros Halkias?

  You're right. Ooh, ooh. Oh, so she's like a general of the baby killers? Oh, you have to.

• 1:11:29Speaker 04

  I think, I think he should go for it.

• 1:11:31Stavros Halkias?

  That's what I'm saying is like, look.

• 1:11:33Speaker 04

  It's not the end of the world.

• 1:11:34Stavros Halkias?

  Here's the thing.

• 1:11:35Speaker 04

  Keep it twisted.

• 1:11:35Stavros Halkias?

  You gotta keep it twisted. At the end of it, when her lease is coming up, you sit her down, maybe you install a little park bench on your property for the community and you're like, hey, why don't we break this in with a couple of ice cold twisted teas?

• 1:11:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:11:48Stavros Halkias?

  You know, you get, you get a cool, an ice, uh, twisted tea branded cooler. You get one of the game day packs that I'm showing right here that has original peach, half and half and raspberry. And you sit her down and oh, and you invite her for a friendly drink and you feel out the vibes. And if the vibes are right, maybe you keep it twisted and you know, get sucked off by your tenant.

• 1:12:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, but that, if the vibes aren't right, he's had this romantic like drink thing.

• 1:12:16Stavros Halkias?

  There's no romantic thing. It's like, he's a, it's for the community.

• 1:12:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:12:20Stavros Halkias?

  You know, the community, AKA his other.

• 1:12:22Speaker 04

  Oh, okay.

• 1:12:23Stavros Halkias?

  You know, it's like, hey, I'm putting together a little park bench.

• 1:12:25Speaker 04

  I think you should just try and fuck her. Like, what's the end of the world? Your grandpa's dead already.

• 1:12:29Stavros Halkias?

  Your grandpa's dead. He's in hell.

• 1:12:32Speaker 04

  Your grandpa's in hell.

• 1:12:34Stavros Halkias?

  He's in hell happy. Happy with what you did with his money.

• 1:12:37Speaker 04

  Try, listen, she's gonna be out of a job soon because Biden's not the president.

• 1:12:41Stavros Halkias?

  That's right. That's right. Trump is gonna end all the wars.

• 1:12:45Speaker 04

  She stole all that luggage. She stole all the luggage of all those black ladies.

• 1:12:51Stavros Halkias?

  I don't remember this story.

• 1:12:52Speaker 04

  That was the best scandal of the Biden.

• 1:12:53Stavros Halkias?

  I don't remember this.

• 1:12:54Speaker 04

  Look up the luggage thief.

• 1:12:56Stavros Halkias?

  You don't have to look it up right now.

• 1:12:57Speaker 04

  No, no, look it up. Look it up right now. It's way better than this guy who should just try and fuck it.

• 1:13:01Stavros Halkias?

  Listen, just get sucked off. Who cares? Keep it twisted.

• 1:13:03Speaker 04

  Landlord, who cares?

• 1:13:04Stavros Halkias?

  It's time to keep it twisted, man.

• 1:13:05Speaker 04

  Bernie lost, whatever, like.

• 1:13:07Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, okay. You're saying go full landlord. You should buy more properties.

• 1:13:10Speaker 04

  No, I'm saying like, what does landlord mean? This is.

• 1:13:14Stavros Halkias?

  It is weird to be like, to try and fuck someone who depends on you for shelter.

• 1:13:18Speaker 04

  It's weird that women are in the military.

• 1:13:21Stavros Halkias?

  Keep it. Adam's keeping it twisted. Fuck, that was twisted.

• 1:13:26Speaker 04

  What did they admit? They should be, what did they, we're sending them.

• 1:13:30Stavros Halkias?

  Here's the point, man. Keep it moderately twisted. Have a sit down at the end of the lease with for a little ice cold twisted tea. If she, if she takes you up on the offer, see where it goes. Don't be pushy. It might just be a friendly drink. It might not be. But yes, it's not, you know, just that's it.

• 1:13:47Speaker 04

  Do you ever call them back?

• 1:13:48Stavros Halkias?

  No, of course not.

• 1:13:49Speaker 04

  I'd like to talk to them.

• 1:13:50Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, I'll give them your number. How about that? I'll text them your personal number.

• 1:13:54Speaker 04

  I don't want to talk, no, just call them back, back right now. I want to know what branch. If it's the merchant Marines.

• 1:14:00Stavros Halkias?

  That's Adam's big hang up. Look at the. The important thing is, man, keep it for you, for you listening and for everybody at home. Keep it twisted this summer and enjoy some ice cold twisted teas.

• 1:14:10Speaker 04

  Buy some property, rent it out.

• 1:14:13Stavros Halkias?

  That is keeping it pretty twisted. That's too twisted for me.

• 1:14:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:14:17Stavros Halkias?

  Oh shit. Oh no.

• 1:14:19Speaker 04

  What's happening?

• 1:14:20Stavros Halkias?

  It's over.

• 1:14:21Speaker 04

  It's over?

• 1:14:24Speaker 04

  Stop, you're twisted.

• 1:14:28Speaker 04

  Look up the luggage thief. You're loving.

• 1:14:32Stavros Halkias?

  No, man, we have to help people.

• 1:14:33Speaker 04

  Biden luggage, no, this is gonna help people.

• 1:14:35Stavros Halkias?

  Biden luggage thief, look it up, Elvis.

• 1:14:37Speaker 04

  Real, real quick. This, there's this, uh, this person was working in the administration and then just was stealing.

• 1:14:46Stavros Halkias?

  Gender fluid, that ex Biden official, Sam Britton stole luggage.

• 1:14:49Speaker 04

  Stealing all these like black, like, like, on, like black.

• 1:14:54Stavros Halkias?

  Hell yeah, dude.

• 1:14:55Speaker 04

  Doesn't look good.

• 1:14:56Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome.

• 1:14:57Speaker 04

  As a member of the center left, I stand by, uh, their side, uh, but. But it was all like older black ladies, like church outfits.

• 1:15:05Stavros Halkias?

  That's hysterical. And they were just putting on big hats?

• 1:15:08Speaker 04

  Tente cloth and stuff with big hats and stuff.

• 1:15:10Stavros Halkias?

  That's hysterical. I mean, this is just.

• 1:15:13Speaker 04

  This is like written.

• 1:15:14Stavros Halkias?

  Made.

• 1:15:15Speaker 04

  This is like written by like, uh, you know, like, like, it's too on the nose.

• 1:15:19Stavros Halkias?

  It's too much.

• 1:15:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. Okay, next.

• 1:15:22Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, great, next.

• 1:15:24Speaker 04

  Clearly, this is the person that's renting from this guy.

• 1:15:28Stavros Halkias?

  Play us one, LD.

• 1:15:32Speaker 04

  And fabulous guest. Thank you. I have been with my wife for just recently celebrated um. Being together for ten years. Uh, we've been married for six. And I mean, you're the king of eating pussy. My wife just doesn't enjoy having me eat her pussy. I have to be, she just enjoys coming from penetration.

• 1:16:07Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, that's awesome. Shut up, fuck you.

• 1:16:10Speaker 04

  Give, give him a chance.

• 1:16:12Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:16:12Speaker 04

  Hear him out.

• 1:16:13Stavros Halkias?

  We'll hear him out.

• 1:16:15Speaker 04

  Right, and I have the unfortunate ailment of coming so quickly.

• 1:16:21Stavros Halkias?

  Awesome.

• 1:16:21Speaker 04

  And it's just the only way she could come. She doesn't enjoy toys. She doesn't enjoy me eating pussy, as I've said. Um, we get into the finger bang game, but.

• 1:16:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, that's the answer.

• 1:16:35Speaker 04

  We have a kid.

• 1:16:36Stavros Halkias?

  That is the answer.

• 1:16:38Speaker 04

  And we're slowly like starting to get back into the sex of it all, but it's just not really working for us. Give me some tips, give me some tricks. I know your go to is always eating pussy, which is why I had to lead with that. But she doesn't like that.

• 1:16:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:57Stavros Halkias?

  You gotta help people, man.

• 1:17:00Speaker 04

  You're just the king of eating pussy.

• 1:17:02Stavros Halkias?

  I'm not, I mean, one guy, one guy who's still nuts fast with his wife.

• 1:17:08Speaker 04

  Thirteen years ago, we're, we're kids.

• 1:17:10Stavros Halkias?

  This wouldn't.

• 1:17:12Speaker 04

  Would be the king of eating pussy. I'm so proud of you.

• 1:17:15Stavros Halkias?

  If you told me thirteen years ago that a guy would call me the king of eating pussy, I'd be like, uh, that's cool, I guess.

• 1:17:21Speaker 04

  Well, I'm trying to gas you. I'm trying to glaze you.

• 1:17:23Stavros Halkias?

  You don't need to glaze me, man. Now, I think this man answered his own question here, cuz you gotta become a finger banging maven here.

• 1:17:31Speaker 04

  Well, she said no.

• 1:17:32Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no, she, she's getting back into it, he said. She doesn't like getting her pussy and he doesn't, she doesn't like toys. But he has to finger pop like his life depends, depends on it.

• 1:17:42Speaker 04

  Also, you have a very rare form of vagina that you're married to.

• 1:17:47Stavros Halkias?

  That's huge.

• 1:17:48Speaker 04

  Some girls can't come from penetration. I've never even met one.

• 1:17:53Stavros Halkias?

  It is weird when, well, you know.

• 1:17:55Speaker 04

  Apparently, uh, I don't know.

• 1:17:57Stavros Halkias?

  Well, have you tried eating wizzy while fingering? Cause that's huge. That's a huge combo.

• 1:18:02Speaker 04

  She's, she's gonna say no. Why doesn't he just have a conversation with her where he's like, I just want you to come before I put my dick in you because I love you.

• 1:18:09Stavros Halkias?

  And also it's like, can you nut and, and fuck again soon? Maybe you need to have some, some, uh, some cock medicine.

• 1:18:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:18:17Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe you need sex tablets like our friends over at bluechew.com provide.

• 1:18:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:18:21Stavros Halkias?

  That could help.

• 1:18:22Speaker 04

  Uh, and thank you for their support of the Anthony Weiner, uh, episode.

• 1:18:26Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, they're back.

• 1:18:27Speaker 04

  They came back because, uh, something, uh.

• 1:18:30Stavros Halkias?

  Something changed?

• 1:18:32Speaker 04

  Yeah. Netanyahu, Netanyahu got them back in the room.

• 1:18:36Stavros Halkias?

  You called, you look, you look down.

• 1:18:39Speaker 04

  In one of the funniest things ever.

• 1:18:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:41Speaker 04

  Jesus. Okay. So, uh, uh, if, it sounds like this guy's a good enough guy to have asked.

• 1:18:47Stavros Halkias?

  You're gonna have to finger your wife. It's really what it comes down to.

• 1:18:50Speaker 04

  You make girls come just from finger?

• 1:18:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, that happens.

• 1:18:54Speaker 04

  But you gotta get some clit action in there.

• 1:18:56Stavros Halkias?

  You can get some clit, but if she likes penetration, you gotta just really pretend your dick, your fingers are your dick. And really get it. As someone with a poor penis.

• 1:19:05Speaker 04

  I say.

• 1:19:05Stavros Halkias?

  I have fingered, I have fingered as if I was fucking in the past.

• 1:19:08Speaker 04

  You gotta get in the jerk game two hours before.

• 1:19:12Stavros Halkias?

  Jerk your own shit?

• 1:19:12Speaker 04

  Then in the, then in the chewable game. And then, so you're gonna last longer.

• 1:19:17Stavros Halkias?

  Chewables would help.

• 1:19:18Speaker 04

  Here's the thing that women need to understand.

• 1:19:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, please.

• 1:19:21Speaker 04

  When they're like, fuck me harder, you got thirty seconds.

• 1:19:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I don't really have much.

• 1:19:26Speaker 04

  It's, and it's every single guy.

• 1:19:28Stavros Halkias?

  Keep going. It's like, come on, don't say that. You know.

• 1:19:31Speaker 04

  And if a guy.

• 1:19:31Stavros Halkias?

  You know this pace is unsustainable.

• 1:19:33Speaker 04

  And if a guy.

• 1:19:34Stavros Halkias?

  You, you walked behind, you walked up three flights of stairs behind me. You know I ain't got the cardio to keep this going, let alone the dick. That's part of my problem.

• 1:19:43Speaker 04

  Just this, thirty seconds. And if a guy doesn't thirty seconds after that, he's a homosexual.

• 1:19:51Speaker 04

  Straight, American men, got thirty seconds. Uh, this guy seems like a good guy.

• 1:19:58Stavros Halkias?

  I think you're a good guy, man.

• 1:19:59Speaker 04

  Jerk off two hours prior.

• 1:20:01Speaker 05

  I think he also said that.

• 1:20:02Speaker 04

  To date night.

• 1:20:02Speaker 05

  He also said they have a three year old. I feel like they're probably just at a step sexually a little. They probably haven't been getting it in with a toddler running around, so, you know.

• 1:20:12Speaker 04

  What a good guy.

• 1:20:12Speaker 05

  Maybe just.

• 1:20:13Stavros Halkias?

  Get the to- yeah, can we get the toddler or babysitter for the weekend, hit a hotel with your wife?

• 1:20:18Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:20:18Stavros Halkias?

  Have a romantic, let's get back to us. And then try some new finger popping techniques. Finger from the back. You know what I mean?

• 1:20:25Speaker 05

  Well, we have this old lady in the homeless shelter, maybe you could watch the kid for three hours.

• 1:20:29Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right. Get somebody's insane wo- uh, mother who they bilked out of her inheritance to watch your child. And finger your wife. That's our advice. Good luck, buddy. Your heart's in the right place.

• 1:20:43Speaker 04

  The king of eating pussy.

• 1:20:44Speaker 02

  Hi, Dove. Uh, okay, so, bit of context. I am an exotic dancer who lives in New York City. Um, I've had other professions too. Like, I have two degrees. I've worked in corporate America. It's not for me.

• 1:20:58Stavros Halkias?

  We're pro-sex worker here.

• 1:20:59Speaker 02

  That might sound crazy, but not as crazy as what I'm about to say next. Um, basically, I found, like, in relationships. So, sorry, I'm gonna back up again. Um, I feel like really happy and really content in, like, every area of my life besides, like, relationships. Like, you know, money's going well creatively. I'm doing fine. I'm really happy. Friendships are going well. But when I'm dating someone, and I like them and they like me, which is honestly kind of rare, but it always seems, especially when I'm dating men, because I have dated women and this isn't an issue, but when I hate men, the issue of my job, like, um,

• 1:21:40Speaker 02

  you know, the fact that I'm an exotic dancer seems to, you know, eventually become an issue, even if they say it's not an issue.

• 1:21:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:47Speaker 02

  And usually, if that's not the issue, the amount of money I make. So even like when I date, like, finance guys, who tend to make more than me, like, the amount I make seems to, like, rub them the wrong way. And this kind of also seemed to be an issue when I worked in corporate America. Like I said, I'm pretty decently educated, so, you know, and of course, I live in New York City, so I tend to make a good bit. Anyway. So, my question is, is this all in my head? Like, I mean, you know, because. Plenty of people will say like, oh, I don't care. There are plenty of guys who don't mind dating strippers, or I don't care dating a girl that makes more than me. But I don't know, that just seems to be a recurring theme in my relationships and like my romantic entanglements. I mean, not to give too much away,

• 1:22:32Speaker 02

  but I also tend to date interracially. And I mean, I know it's twenty twenty five, but I don't know, I'm just kind of wondering like what, you know, I guess is really going on. It's, oh god, that that sounds weird. But also, um, final thing, this isn't the issue when I date women, but my issue there is that there aren't many women that like women. So I don't know, what should I do? Where should I find the love of my life? And final note, this isn't a question, but I did meet Adam

• 1:22:58Stavros Halkias?

  Wait, wait, wait, what? What? Hold on, play this.

• 1:23:01Speaker 04

  I know who this is.

• 1:23:02Stavros Halkias?

  Play it, hold on, shut up.

• 1:23:03Speaker 04

  No, no, no, no, you can't have this out there.

• 1:23:05Stavros Halkias?

  Did Eldis actually do something funny for once?

• 1:23:07Speaker 04

  I know who this is.

• 1:23:08Stavros Halkias?

  Play this, Eldis.

• 1:23:09Speaker 04

  No, Eldis, stop it.

• 1:23:10Stavros Halkias?

  Play it.

• 1:23:11Speaker 04

  Guys, you can't.

• 1:23:13Stavros Halkias?

  Play it, play it.

• 1:23:15Speaker 02

  So where should I find the love of my life? And final note, this isn't a question, but I did meet Adam at one of the strip clubs I worked in, and he was acting really weird. And one of my friends was like, yeah, he's acting like he's famous. I mean, obviously, we both knew who he was because no one else in the club did. So anyway, just like you know, love you, bye.

• 1:23:34Stavros Halkias?

  He's acting like he's famous. Word is getting out there in the New York City. Listen, Adam, there's nothing wrong with going to a strip club. That's, uh.

• 1:23:45Speaker 04

  My girl, okay.

• 1:23:48Stavros Halkias?

  This girl's awesome. Adam was in there acting famous.

• 1:23:55Speaker 04

  What did I say? No, that.

• 1:23:57Stavros Halkias?

  Go ahead.

• 1:23:59Speaker 04

  You can't have this on.

• 1:24:01Stavros Halkias?

  She didn't say anything bad. She just said you were acting.

• 1:24:04Speaker 04

  Great content, but.

• 1:24:07Stavros Halkias?

  This man was feeling himself. This man was making it rain in pumps. Hey, I'm the Jon Stewart of millennials.

• 1:24:18Stavros Halkias?

  This man had a, had a Daily Show duffel bag he bought from eBay and he was fucking throwing, throwing money in the air.

• 1:24:26Speaker 04

  My girl, my, no, first of all, I didn't.

• 1:24:28Stavros Halkias?

  Offering those pictures. He had, he had printed out those pictures and was signing them.

• 1:24:32Speaker 04

  Not recent.

• 1:24:35Speaker 04

  My, my, my, my girlfriend went to London to see her friends. And so I said, I said, well, I, I, I'm gonna go ham tonight.

• 1:24:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:47Speaker 04

  So me and my two friends, we got obliterated.

• 1:24:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, hell yeah.

• 1:24:51Speaker 04

  I called her, I called her, I called her at 6 a.m. It's like, have you seen Manchester by the Sea?

• 1:24:55Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, I haven't, but I know.

• 1:24:57Speaker 04

  That scene where he goes to the police station and he's like, I was on coke. My kids are dead, throw me in jail. So I called her and I was like, baby, like, I was like, just, I'll get you a flight, right? I can't live this way. I can't like, I was like, I was telling like.

• 1:25:12Stavros Halkias?

  I was being too cool. Girls in the strip club thought I was too awesome. If you're gone any longer, I might have no choice but to cheat on you.

• 1:25:20Speaker 04

  I, no, no, no, no, I wasn't gonna cheat. No, no, but I was like, I was mentioning Come Town to strippers.

• 1:25:25Stavros Halkias?

  Oh my God, dude.

• 1:25:29Speaker 04

  I didn't say the name. I said, I was, I did, I do podcasting.

• 1:25:37Speaker 04

  It was two years ago. Why is that? I can't, I can't, listen, as a celebrity, you can't be in public.

• 1:25:45Speaker 04

  We have to go to strip, we have to go to Free Cops. That's why we have to go to Free Cops. We have to go to Free Cops where we got some privacy.

• 1:25:51Stavros Halkias?

  Fucking awesome. Oh man, that's fucking great.

• 1:25:55Speaker 04

  No, no, and she's like, yeah, my friend like knows your show. And I was like, oh, nevermind.

• 1:25:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:25:59Speaker 04

  I got really embarrassed.

• 1:26:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you took your shades off?

• 1:26:02Speaker 04

  Acting weird.

• 1:26:02Stavros Halkias?

  You were wearing an all white suit?

• 1:26:05Speaker 04

  I was not wearing an all white suit.

• 1:26:08Speaker 04

  God damn.

• 1:26:09Stavros Halkias?

  I want the CCTV footage from that night.

• 1:26:11Speaker 04

  Can we not?

• 1:26:12Stavros Halkias?

  No, man, this had, look, we're, we're, we're also, we're also journalists here.

• 1:26:16Speaker 04

  I have one chance. I have one chance in life to do something.

• 1:26:21Speaker 04

  Somehow, okay?

• 1:26:22Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, okay, well, look, that's all well and good.

• 1:26:25Speaker 04

  It's because of Nick, I, I.

• 1:26:26Stavros Halkias?

  This important.

• 1:26:27Speaker 04

  I owe it all to Nick, and we all, we can say that, okay?

• 1:26:32Stavros Halkias?

  Damn dude, relax. Let, let a, let a couple of episodes.

• 1:26:35Speaker 04

  I'm a talentless loser.

• 1:26:38Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, just because some strippers were mocking you, doesn't mean you have to fucking, you know, do, press the nuclear button yet.

• 1:26:44Speaker 04

  Well, okay, I'll prove to you I'm a good guy.

• 1:26:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, please.

• 1:26:47Speaker 04

  Okay? Maybe you're dating younger finance men that want to, that are getting their first big check.

• 1:26:55Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:26:56Speaker 04

  Also, your friend, I, I'm sorry that I do podcast.

• 1:27:01Speaker 04

  It was really, that's what I called it. I was like, guys, I just said podcast to a stripper.

• 1:27:05Stavros Halkias?

  Right, that is tough.

• 1:27:07Speaker 04

  I, I should have made it up a lie. I should have had an Art Van de Laay or something.

• 1:27:11Stavros Halkias?

  No, it's fine.

• 1:27:12Speaker 04

  I'm a spy for the Mossad.

• 1:27:17Stavros Halkias?

  I do podcast. I've never, yeah.

• 1:27:20Speaker 04

  But they don't know that I work for Hamas.

• 1:27:23Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, double agent.

• 1:27:24Speaker 04

  I'm a double agent.

• 1:27:25Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome.

• 1:27:26Speaker 04

  And they don't know that I, I work for fucking.

• 1:27:29Stavros Halkias?

  For the Trump.

• 1:27:30Speaker 04

  For come to, for Nick Moe.

• 1:27:32Stavros Halkias?

  You're a triple agent.

• 1:27:33Speaker 04

  No, no, no, okay.

• 1:27:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. So. So, look, your, your antics aside, we have a caller that we have to help here, Adam, so it's okay.

• 1:27:40Speaker 04

  What about, what about me? This is rude.

• 1:27:46Stavros Halkias?

  So, Eldis, you know what, man? This almost makes up for all the bad producing you've done, that you found this and played it on this episode, man. You're getting a bonus, brother. I'm gonna give you like $10,000, dude.

• 1:28:03Speaker 04

  One of the girl, one of the strippers, one of the strippers, when I called Maya, when I called Maya, oh also the girl's from like the Bronx, I mean she like, she didn't care at all. When I called Maya, I was like, I was like babe, one of them called, grabbed my penis area, outside of my pants and she said, baby you drunk? And I was like, yes, I am drunk.

• 1:28:24Speaker 04

  But I would, yeah, it was, uh, I was trying to prove that my, that my masculinity.

• 1:28:31Stavros Halkias?

  Masculinity, right. And look, that's to.

• 1:28:33Speaker 04

  And my friend got three speeding camera tickets on the way home. I don't, I don't, yeah.

• 1:28:38Stavros Halkias?

  That's a shame.

• 1:28:38Speaker 04

  Well, that's the real tragedy of the night.

• 1:28:40Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely. Well, look, I think you're on to something with the masculinity issue, right? This girl's hot, she's like in charge of her shit. Like, I think traditionally.

• 1:28:50Speaker 04

  She seems like a good person.

• 1:28:51Stavros Halkias?

  When a girl's hot, right?

• 1:28:52Speaker 04

  A liar, but a good person.

• 1:28:55Stavros Halkias?

  I think what's going on here is the traditional fucking dating roles. If a girl is this hot, right? She does, eh, these guys like, the type of guys you're going for, they want somebody who is in some way, you know, dependent, subservient, or at least, you know.

• 1:29:13Speaker 04

  Also, they have rich families, the mother in Greenwich, Connecticut is gonna give them a hard time if they're dating a stripper.

• 1:29:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's part of it too.

• 1:29:20Speaker 04

  You should date like a real one, and just like a nice, a nice gentleman.

• 1:29:24Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 1:29:24Speaker 04

  That isn't just like a young fucker that's like on an expense account.

• 1:29:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's like, who, I, I do think this is probably, the problem here is probably the types of guys you're going for. That's my, that's my hunch. I mean, I think there's plenty of people, I've dated girls who make a lot of money and I think that's cool. I'm not mad at that. I'm like, that's fucking all, I mean, I'll still pay for shit, but it's like, they'll fucking get some stuff.

• 1:29:47Speaker 04

  They still don't pay, they pay for nothing.

• 1:29:50Stavros Halkias?

  I mean.

• 1:29:50Speaker 04

  They still pay for nothing.

• 1:29:51Stavros Halkias?

  If they respect you, maybe they do, I don't know.

• 1:29:53Speaker 04

  That's not respect, what do you?

• 1:29:55Stavros Halkias?

  Or like, I think it also opens stuff up, because imagine if, if, if you're making a ton of money and you're dating someone who's making a ton of money, instead of, you, if you combine that, the experiences you guys could have could be next level, you know what I mean?

• 1:30:07Speaker 04

  I think it's, maybe the, the, the gentlemen sound insecure, maybe they're. They're like a little young, maybe like a guy like a five years young, five years older.

• 1:30:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:16Speaker 04

  You know, may might not feel that way.

• 1:30:18Stavros Halkias?

  And I wonder, I also wonder.

• 1:30:19Speaker 04

  Some of that's dated for a little bit longer.

• 1:30:21Stavros Halkias?

  I also wonder if the money is like shielding, like some people pretend they're cool with sex work and like whatever. And then maybe.

• 1:30:29Speaker 04

  That's what I mean.

• 1:30:30Stavros Halkias?

  Push comes to shove, they're like, I don't wanna.

• 1:30:32Speaker 04

  They're making it about the money.

• 1:30:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, they're making about the money because it's a safe thing to to be like, to to, you know, it's like, oh, it's like, it's just weird, whatever.

• 1:30:40Speaker 04

  They they feel jealous that you're that you're lying about, uh.

• 1:30:45Stavros Halkias?

  That you met such a cool celebrity and are lying about it.

• 1:30:48Speaker 04

  I can't believe I said podcast or stripper. So what do you, I could, should have lied.

• 1:30:53Stavros Halkias?

  Just say comedian.

• 1:30:56Speaker 04

  Barely.

• 1:30:57Stavros Halkias?

  I know, but it's, it's, I know you, I said, yeah, it's still a lie.

• 1:31:01Speaker 04

  They're gonna see right through that.

• 1:31:05Stavros Halkias?

  Say I'm an actor and a writer, I'm an intellect, I'm a public intellectual.

• 1:31:08Speaker 04

  Writer is hilarious.

• 1:31:09Stavros Halkias?

  You should say writer.

• 1:31:10Speaker 04

  Writer, yeah.

• 1:31:11Stavros Halkias?

  Sometimes I'll, I'll, sometimes I'll, I'll, I'll throw writer out there in an Uber or something if I'm like, I don't.

• 1:31:16Speaker 04

  Writer is the go to, yeah.

• 1:31:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, but even that, there's so many questions, um.

• 1:31:21Speaker 04

  Wait, when you're trying to fuck an Uber driver?

• 1:31:23Stavros Halkias?

  No, not fucked, just get out of a conversation. They're like, what are you doing?

• 1:31:26Speaker 04

  Trying to riz an Uber driver.

• 1:31:28Stavros Halkias?

  I'm not trying to riz anyone.

• 1:31:29Speaker 04

  So what about stop trying to have sex with all these, uh.

• 1:31:31Stavros Halkias?

  I've never tried to fuck an Uber driver in my life.

• 1:31:36Stavros Halkias?

  Um, so, yeah, I mean.

• 1:31:38Speaker 04

  Oh, my god.

• 1:31:40Stavros Halkias?

  Can you, can you?

• 1:31:41Speaker 04

  Zero in and give her some good advice, man. Okay, here, here's the deal. You, you should date someone that isn't in finance because probably A, they have rich families.

• 1:31:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:51Speaker 04

  That would give them a mother.

• 1:31:53Stavros Halkias?

  Guff.

• 1:31:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, they're, they're guys that say mother.

• 1:31:55Stavros Halkias?

  Best case scenario, they're, they're fetishizing you, they think it's like, uh, I'm being a bad, I'm dating a stripper.

• 1:32:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, they think that you're like, yeah, exactly. You sound like a really, uh, genuinely normal person, nice person. So, uh, and you could take it, uh, sorry, take it back and he's, but, uh.

• 1:32:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, it maybe date someone that's like been dating for a little bit longer, someone maybe like late twenties or something.

• 1:32:21Stavros Halkias?

  Can you switch? Yeah, just switch up kinda your, who you're going for here. And I think the same is probably true of the women. You're saying you're having a hard time finding women that like women. Do you mean that genuinely want to have a relationship as opposed to, you know, wanna hook up with like bi girls who wanna hook up with a hot stripper? I could see that being a problem too, and bo- with both genders here. It seems like you need to like, shift who these people are.

• 1:32:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:32:46Stavros Halkias?

  Because I think clearly it is like, uh, they feel emasculated for the, the money thing, or even the just the like,

• 1:32:53Speaker 04

  It's not the money.

• 1:32:53Stavros Halkias?

  Or even the dancing shit.

• 1:32:54Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:32:55Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, they're just like, you're very in, you're a pretty, you seem like somebody who's pretty in control. They're not used to, and particularly for somebody who's a stripper, you've made a conscious choice. You could be in their kinda buttoned up world and you realize like, I actually prefer this, I make great money, whatever. The, the mechanisms by which they usually control a hot woman who's like dancing with, or stripping, which is like, oh, I'll get her out of this and she'll fucking depend on me. Or you know, like, you don't want that. And that, and ma- you're, you're look, you're dating guys who on some level want that. And I think you need to look for a different type of person. That's kinda my, you know, stop going to, you know, stop going to Murray Hill.

• 1:33:39Speaker 04

  Also, yeah, they, you know, you're probably attractive too. And they're like, they, they're, they're probably like stressed out that guys are hitting on you.

• 1:33:47Stavros Halkias?

  True, absolutely, absolutely. Yeah.

• 1:33:49Speaker 04

  And part of the job is to be sexy for guys. So.

• 1:33:53Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 1:33:53Speaker 04

  Maybe a, an, an older guy, maybe sixty-five, seventy years old.

• 1:33:57Stavros Halkias?

  Someone who's crushed by life.

• 1:33:58Speaker 04

  Maybe my father.

• 1:33:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, Nate, yeah, yeah. Get some fake tits. How big are your tits?

• 1:34:02Speaker 04

  No, don't, dude, don't say that to her. She can do whatever she wants, including take it back that I was, I, I, that is one of the most embarrassing things. Eldis, you monster.

• 1:34:12Stavros Halkias?

  Really great producing Eldis, honestly, you know.

• 1:34:15Speaker 04

  I had to, man.

• 1:34:16Stavros Halkias?

  I have to tip my cap.

• 1:34:16Speaker 04

  You're gonna reel out of this, this is gonna be unreal. My aunt's gonna see it. My aunt is gonna see it. She's gonna tell my grandma, and Adam said he does, he's a podcaster, acting famous, what does that mean? What does that mean?

• 1:34:30Speaker 05

  You know what, to this caller, just like you don't like people assuming shit about you because you're a stripper, maybe you shouldn't make judgments on people who are making the.

• 1:34:37Speaker 04

  I think, no, you should judge podcasts, no, no.

• 1:34:40Stavros Halkias?

  Can I say, I know exactly how Adam was at, I can see it in my head.

• 1:34:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:34:44Stavros Halkias?

  Stining up way too tall, tipping way more than he had to for once in his life.

• 1:34:49Speaker 04

  Yeah, come on, let's not get carried away.

• 1:34:51Speaker 05

  Adam, did you make it rain?

• 1:34:53Speaker 04

  No, I did the Al Bundy where I have a fishing wire connecting to one, connecting to a one dollar.

• 1:34:59Speaker 04

  One day Bud, this will be yours.

• 1:35:03Speaker 04

  One of the best jokes on that show.

• 1:35:05Stavros Halkias?

  There you go.

• 1:35:06Speaker 04

  Alright, so.

• 1:35:06Stavros Halkias?

  Good luck.

• 1:35:07Speaker 04

  Yeah, that one's gonna get cut, um, next.

• 1:35:12Stavros Halkias?

  Alright.

• 1:35:15Speaker 05

  What's up, Bobby, baby, LD, seeing guests, love of the pod, first time, long time, all that good stuff. Listen, boys, I got a predicament. I got a boys weekend coming up, and one of my buddies went on the liquor run. He bought all the liquor and he sent out the Venmo request, split five ways evenly. And I got the request and I thought it looked a little high. So, I actually calculated how much each bottle was, included the sales tax, yada, yada. And, found to be that his Venmo request was about ten percent too high.

• 1:35:54Speaker 04

  That's nothing, come on.

• 1:35:54Speaker 05

  Now, I wanna know this, who's more of a piece of shit?

• 1:35:57Speaker 04

  You.

• 1:35:58Speaker 05

  Him trying to get literally three dollars out of everybody? Or me running the calculations to see how much he's getting stiffed?

• 1:36:05Speaker 04

  No way Jewish, by the way.

• 1:36:07Speaker 05

  Let me know, love you guys, take care.

• 1:36:08Stavros Halkias?

  That is true.

• 1:36:09Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 1:36:09Stavros Halkias?

  That's gotta feel nice to hear that accent.

• 1:36:11Speaker 04

  I like that.

• 1:36:12Stavros Halkias?

  Make it, doing stuff like this. This is good, this is good. Cause you're right, if this guy sounds, you know.

• 1:36:17Speaker 04

  Ten percent too high, what are you, the freaking?

• 1:36:20Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, this is crazy that you did this, and by the way.

• 1:36:21Speaker 04

  What, are you George Soros?

• 1:36:23Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly, if it's three dollars, he said three dollars out of everybody, like, he legit might have just rounded up, he might have forgotten and rounded up. And who ca- also, it's like, what, is it, was it a little weird? Okay, but what are we talking about? What's ten per- three bucks of how many people?

• 1:36:39Speaker 05

  Bro.

• 1:36:40Stavros Halkias?

  Five ways? So it's fifteen extra dollars? That's weird, dude, to, to do this calculation for that.

• 1:36:47Speaker 05

  My mind goes to like, you know, he says he did the math and added it up. Did you have the prices of every bottle he got?

• 1:36:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, did he go to a-

• 1:36:54Speaker 05

  Did you see a receipt?

• 1:36:55Stavros Halkias?

  Did he go to an expensive liquor store? Some places will mark it up.

• 1:36:57Speaker 05

  Cause he sounds pretty dumb. I don't trust him to even calculate sales tax.

• 1:37:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:37:02Speaker 04

  He found the store?

• 1:37:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 1:37:05Speaker 04

  What the hell? Yeah, you should, you stink.

• 1:37:07Stavros Halkias?

  This is crazy, dude.

• 1:37:08Speaker 04

  You stink.

• 1:37:09Stavros Halkias?

  And like, if your friend did it, he's kinda weird, but also it's like, if you split something on Venmo or whatever, and it's for a lot of people, you just round up. You don't go fucking, oh, it's eighty-three cents. Like, you know what? It's a bit of a service fee for me doing all the fucking legwork or whatever. Uh, you just make it easy to-

• 1:37:28Speaker 04

  Be drunk on vacation with your friends.

• 1:37:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dude, don't fucking look at it. It's weird. I'm like, how bad is shit going? So who's the bigger piece of shit? Right now, if I had to guess, it's you, cause we don't know-

• 1:37:38Speaker 04

  By a mile.

• 1:37:39Stavros Halkias?

  We don't know where this guy bought this shit from. Maybe, maybe he just went, maybe he was running late and he went to an expensive liquor store. Then it's like, oh, that's a little too expensive, but who gives a fuck? It's bad, it's, it's fucking-

• 1:37:50Speaker 04

  Just be an adult, okay? It doesn't matter.

• 1:37:52Stavros Halkias?

  Charge it to the game, brother.

• 1:37:53Speaker 04

  When I was, I-

• 1:37:54Stavros Halkias?

  It's three, three of your dollars, you're the piece, actually, you're the piece of shit.

• 1:37:58Speaker 04

  What are you, a friggin' hobo?

• 1:38:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:38:02Speaker 04

  You don't deserve friends.

• 1:38:05Speaker 05

  And the sales tax, hilarious.

• 1:38:07Speaker 04

  And you're not Jewish, thank God.

• 1:38:09Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:38:09Speaker 04

  Incredible.

• 1:38:11Speaker 05

  Adam is happy that you're not a member.

• 1:38:14Speaker 04

  When everyone got mad at Vivek Ramaswamy, I was like, finally, another one. It's someone else.

• 1:38:20Speaker 05

  Play us another one, Big Eld.

• 1:38:23Speaker 02

  Hi Stavi, big fan. Um, I just wanted to ask you a question. Uh, this has never been an issue for me, uh, in real time, but whenever I tell girls that I do this, they get really like surprised and like, um, confused that this isn't a bigger issue for me. So basically, you know, I have sex with men sometime. Um, not my favorite thing to do, but you know, like on occasion I'll have a men's romance. And, um, I'm what you might call a tough bust.

• 1:38:58Stavros Halkias?

  Tough bust, yes.

• 1:38:59Speaker 02

  Yeah. So, um, you know, and to, to give some men credit, it's not like always an issue, but a lot of the time it's mental for me and a lot of the time it is also a skill issue with the man. So to combat this issue, pretty much anytime I think there's even a possibility of me having sex with a man, like a first date, or you know, I'm just meeting a guy from an app out for drinks or something like that, I, uh, bring my vibrator with me.

• 1:39:28Stavros Halkias?

  Respect.

• 1:39:30Speaker 02

  I, you know, have it in a little pouch in my bag, just in case, you know, if we end up having sex, then I just, you know, I don't want to not have it.

• 1:39:38Stavros Halkias?

  Literally she keeps that thing on her.

• 1:39:41Speaker 02

  I want to be able to like maybe come, like, to be fair, I don't even come like every time I bring it either, just because either the sex won't last long enough, or positions are weird, or whatever. I mean, I don't know. I don't really get off from penetration. I like it a lot, but you know, it's not really, it's not really doing much for me a lot of the time. So I figure you yourself might not have such a problem with this, but I do live in fear of the day I meet a man who does have a problem with this. I actually think you have, uh, guests on your podcast, men, male comics, who I think might, uh, be offended by that, uh, just based on the way that some of them talk about,

• 1:40:25Speaker 02

  like, bringing in the vibrator is like a into the relationship kind of thing, whereas I'm, as I just said, somebody who's bringing it out, maybe the first time you meet me.

• 1:40:35Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome.

• 1:40:36Speaker 02

  Uh, I don't know. Yeah.

• 1:40:37Stavros Halkias?

  It's a, it's a wild move, but it's a, I respect, even me.

• 1:40:40Speaker 04

  She says she knows how she comes. Actually, it's fine.

• 1:40:43Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, it's, it's not even, it's one of those things like, huh. And you're like, nice. But you you will have a moment of, oh, like in your head, here's what they really, here's what I would think is like, ooh. She knew she wanted a little piece of this dick.

• 1:40:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, she wanted to enjoy sex.

• 1:40:57Stavros Halkias?

  I would think, I would feel kinda like, hell yeah, she knew she wanted to fuck me kinda thing.

• 1:41:02Speaker 04

  Sexy underwear.

• 1:41:03Stavros Halkias?

  Even though you might, she, it sounds like she just kinda has it. Breaking case of emergency, you know, like she'll even take it on her, on a first date.

• 1:41:10Speaker 04

  She has to introduce it in a chill way.

• 1:41:12Stavros Halkias?

  But let's keep, let's just finish her up before we uh, we get in there.

• 1:41:17Speaker 02

  I'm always acting surprised when I say something like that, just cuz they, you know, maybe they deal with men who are. Like dicks about that, but I don't know, I just figure, don't you want me to come? Don't you wanna watch me come? Like.

• 1:41:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:41:31Speaker 02

  Whatever. Anyway, um, yeah, I just hope that that's, you know. Not gonna be a problem for us when we eventually hang out. Okay, thanks so much. Love you. Bye.

• 1:41:41Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, yeah, there's no real issue here.

• 1:41:43Speaker 04

  You stop.

• 1:41:44Stavros Halkias?

  Hey, listen.

• 1:41:45Speaker 04

  All the girls love.

• 1:41:46Stavros Halkias?

  We, we, we're a family here. We're, no, no, I'm not. I've not been crowned other than that one guy who busts too fast.

• 1:41:53Speaker 04

  Heavy, heavy.

• 1:41:54Stavros Halkias?

  Heavy is the head that, yeah.

• 1:41:55Speaker 04

  Heavy is the.

• 1:41:56Stavros Halkias?

  That's how you get good at eating pussy though. You have the heavy crown on and you still have to move your neck around.

• 1:42:00Speaker 04

  Exactly.

• 1:42:00Stavros Halkias?

  So then you free it out.

• 1:42:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's a neck exercise.

• 1:42:03Stavros Halkias?

  It's like when you have the like weights on the back. I take the pussy eating crown off. And then I'm fucking.

• 1:42:08Speaker 04

  What do you practice on? Fleshlight?

• 1:42:10Stavros Halkias?

  Fleshlight, yep. I have my.

• 1:42:11Speaker 04

  In your bedroom?

• 1:42:12Stavros Halkias?

  I have my Bella Danger, uh, limited edition sex.

• 1:42:15Speaker 04

  Sign.

• 1:42:16Stavros Halkias?

  Fleshlight.

• 1:42:18Speaker 04

  Um, unwashed.

• 1:42:21Speaker 04

  Uh, it's pretty simple. Just be nice about the way you you introduce it. Don't like.

• 1:42:25Stavros Halkias?

  Don't be like, oh, get my purse. Alright, enough. Get the purse.

• 1:42:31Speaker 04

  Then you're like being a jerk, but just say like, hey. I, I wanna, I wanna fuck you and I wanna come because I like you and uh.

• 1:42:40Stavros Halkias?

  But here's.

• 1:42:40Speaker 04

  I brought, I brought a vibrator.

• 1:42:42Stavros Halkias?

  But you know what?

• 1:42:43Speaker 04

  That's how I come.

• 1:42:44Stavros Halkias?

  What I, what I'll say is that she said, she'll tell her friends. Who are surprised men aren't dicks about it. And she'll, she's, she said. No, no, no, hold on. But she said. She brings it out, men aren't dicks about it. And so a lot of the problem here is it's sort of like you're getting ahead of yourself and creating a problem where it doesn't exist.

• 1:43:07Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:43:08Stavros Halkias?

  Because

• 1:43:08Speaker 04

  We're great, we're the best guys.

• 1:43:10Stavros Halkias?

  I think your friends, if they pulled the vibrator out, they'd be surprised how many guys would be like, nice. You know what I mean? Like, I think when push comes to shove, if you're, if you're about to have sex, especially like on a first date, bring out whatever the fuck you, I'm about to get pussy, I don't care. You know what I mean? Like, I think, and that's, I think you're also getting a little, like, you know, might you find somebody who's a, who, like, that's how I used to be about my uncircumcised penis.

• 1:43:37Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:43:38Stavros Halkias?

  And literally, one woman out of however many has ever reacted negatively. I, you might get one weird guy or a couple weird guys, they're like, what's that about? But I think overall, if your friends started carrying around the little, the little vibrator pouch, they'd be cool. Yeah, but, okay, we'll, we'll, we'll wrap it up.

• 1:43:57Speaker 04

  Uh, yeah.

• 1:43:58Stavros Halkias?

  Fucking subtle, leave all that in, leave, leave his like.

• 1:44:01Speaker 04

  No, stop, come on. I'm on the precipice of something big right now.

• 1:44:04Stavros Halkias?

  Just say, you can go.

• 1:44:05Speaker 04

  I'm the millennial, uh.

• 1:44:07Stavros Halkias?

  Bill Maher.

• 1:44:08Speaker 04

  Yeah. I'm the.

• 1:44:11Stavros Halkias?

  You're the heir apparent, that would be so awesome if you inherited a real time.

• 1:44:15Speaker 04

  You fool.

• 1:44:19Speaker 04

  He also doesn't, apparently it's to his knee, apparently it's the biggest in Hollywood. And that's, it makes so much sense why.

• 1:44:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:44:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, I would act like that too.

• 1:44:29Stavros Halkias?

  Confidence?

• 1:44:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:44:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. I'm so smart.

• 1:44:33Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 1:44:34Stavros Halkias?

  I'm not becoming a Republican, everyone else is actually wrong, I'm the good guy still.

• 1:44:39Speaker 04

  Of course, zero babies have died in Gaza.

• 1:44:45Speaker 04

  Pete is so big, he's like a gay guy.

• 1:44:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:44:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, uh, I just wanna say this, don't list your friends, female friendship doesn't exist, it's psychological warfare. If every guy's chill about this, why you would, why you.

• 1:44:58Stavros Halkias?

  Don't give him the cheer on that, eldest.

• 1:45:00Speaker 04

  Think about how nice all the guys are being to you about it, because we're phenomenal.

• 1:45:03Stavros Halkias?

  We're good guys.

• 1:45:04Speaker 04

  And we tell way better stories than whatever that.

• 1:45:06Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know. I don't know, I've heard you tell some, some long-winded stories.

• 1:45:10Speaker 04

  About what?

• 1:45:11Stavros Halkias?

  Whatever, you pick your, you know, pick, pick a topic.

• 1:45:14Speaker 04

  So someone fell in front of the train and the third rail was sparking.

• 1:45:18Stavros Halkias?

  Um, so yes, it seems like she's fine. There doesn't, all the problems seem to be, uh,

• 1:45:24Speaker 04

  Your friends are cunts.

• 1:45:25Stavros Halkias?

  Your friends are nice people who should try bringing the vibrator out. And yes, were you to bring out the vibrator when we hang out, I'll, I'll, uh, I'll greet it with glee.

• 1:45:36Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 1:45:37Stavros Halkias?

  You know, that's the kind of guy I am.

• 1:45:38Speaker 04

  The king of eating pussy.

• 1:45:39Stavros Halkias?

  Hey, uh, if you know, I'll take it. Like I said, I haven't been officially crowned.

• 1:45:45Speaker 04

  It wouldn't be nice if you were, uh, doing a cunnilingus and then she's like stuffed it down like.

• 1:45:50Stavros Halkias?

  Well, cause the vibrator is, that's, that's pussy eating territory.

• 1:45:54Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:45:54Stavros Halkias?

  If you're fingering and there's a vibrator in the mix, that's interesting, but how am I supposed to eat around this thing?

• 1:45:59Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:45:59Stavros Halkias?

  Unless you're talking about a real China sized meaty clip.

• 1:46:03Speaker 04

  It's tough to be the king.

• 1:46:04Stavros Halkias?

  Then I could lick the sides while the vibrator does the top. This, this whole episode is 100% getting demonetized immediately.

• 1:46:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, maybe not even coming out. Maybe just the, maybe you cut out the picture part of the beginning.

• 1:46:18Stavros Halkias?

  Give us a quick one to go out on elders. This man has to go.

• 1:46:25Speaker 07

  This podcast is supported by Nurtac ODT, Remedy Pant. We know you didn't ask for an interruption, but migraine doesn't wait for the right moment to interrupt either. It just barges in, takes your time and throws everything off. So when migraine takes your time, take Nurtac. It's for the acute treatment of migraine with or without aura in adults. Nurtac can provide pain relief in two hours, which can last up to two days. Ask your healthcare provider if Nurtac is right for you because your time is for you, not migraine. Don't take if allergic to Nurtac ODT. Allergic reactions can occur even days after use. Get help right away for trouble breathing, rash, swelling of face, mouth, tongue, or throat. High blood pressure and Raynaud's syndrome can occur.

• 1:47:07Speaker 07

  Get help for high blood pressure, numbness, coolness, pain, or color changes in fingers and toes. Common side effect is nausea. For full prescribing information, call 1-833-4-NUR-TAC or visit Nurtac.com. All right, back to your podcast playlist or whatever's keeping you going today.

• 1:47:25Speaker 05

  What kind of day is it? It's a White Claw day. Grab a pack, grab your friends. Everything else in life can wait. Your friends shouldn't. Let's go. White Claw. Grab life by the claw. Please drink responsibly. Heart's also with flavors. White Claw's also works, Chicago, Illinois.

• 1:47:42Speaker 04

  Greek God body. Oh my God. Love you, brother. All right. I'm watching the old.

• 1:47:47Stavros Halkias?

  Old episode of you and Caleb Heron on So True, which by the way is how I found you. Love Caleb. Came over from the So True land over to Stavi's world and I'm very happy here. Looking at you compared to Caleb, Caleb's got a lot of tattoos. I don't see one tattoo on that beautiful Greek. Body of yours. Are you a tattoo guy? I'm an open canvas. Do we have a tramp stamp that, that you know, your, your loving audience doesn't know about? Do you want tattoos? Why don't we have tattoos on this beautiful vessel?

• 1:48:26Stavros Halkias?

  Hey, hey, hey. She said she has really big tits. Let's give her some, let's give her some respect.

• 1:48:34Stavros Halkias?

  I never got any tattoos, but I recently I thought of the one I would want if I got one.

• 1:48:39Speaker 04

  What? Let's, let's hear it.

• 1:48:40Stavros Halkias?

  It would be a little like Asian spoon, like a pho place or a Chinese place. And I would put it near my thigh so I could put my balls on it like a soup dumpling. That's what I would like.

• 1:48:50Speaker 04

  You blow on it?

• 1:48:54Stavros Halkias?

  And then I just put it on there and then a girl could suck on it like it's a soup dumpling. I think that would be a pretty funny.

• 1:49:00Speaker 04

  For yourself in the shower?

• 1:49:01Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly. Literally. It would make me smile every time.

• 1:49:03Speaker 04

  I have a whimsical life.

• 1:49:04Stavros Halkias?

  It would be like up here into my thigh and it'd be like so fun. It would be covered even by shorts like this.

• 1:49:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:49:09Stavros Halkias?

  I think that would be the one tattoo I would get.

• 1:49:11Speaker 04

  I've never respected a single tattoo I've ever seen.

• 1:49:14Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 1:49:14Speaker 04

  Yeah. I have no respect for it.

• 1:49:16Stavros Halkias?

  Even the Star of David?

• 1:49:18Speaker 04

  Wha- what?

• 1:49:19Stavros Halkias?

  Wouldn't you like that?

• 1:49:20Speaker 04

  No. You can't get buried in a Jewish cemetery.

• 1:49:22Stavros Halkias?

  I had a friend who got a Star of David and he was like, he was like, this should cancel out. I should be able to get in the cemetery. Shout out to my boy, I won't, yeah, shout out to my boy Ethan.

• 1:49:33Speaker 04

  Being, being.

• 1:49:35Stavros Halkias?

  Clean?

• 1:49:35Speaker 04

  Clean. Yeah.

• 1:49:36Stavros Halkias?

  No tats on elders either.

• 1:49:38Speaker 04

  Tattoos.

• 1:49:39Speaker 05

  This, this temple is pure men.

• 1:49:41Speaker 04

  You guys wanna? Take our clothes off?

• 1:49:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Draw tattoos on each other?

• 1:49:49Speaker 04

  Photo of Eldon?

• 1:49:50Stavros Halkias?

  Oh yeah, somewhere.

• 1:49:52Speaker 05

  Live?

• 1:49:52Stavros Halkias?

  The one where you can, you're running away naked?

• 1:49:57Speaker 04

  Is that somewhere?

• 1:49:59Stavros Halkias?

  Somewhere, it's floating. And we have that video when he tried to trick me into looking at his penis. He was like, dude, come here, my cat's doing something really cute. And I knew exactly what he was doing. And I just walked out with the camera. I have just a video of Eldis's dick somewhere.

• 1:50:12Speaker 04

  Wait, I thought that was what you were talking about. What was the first one?

• 1:50:15Stavros Halkias?

  You have one where you're like running away.

• 1:50:17Speaker 04

  You're like, you're like, yeah.

• 1:50:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, your ass. You have really long hair. My brothers, my brothers were, my brothers were here and they were sleeping in the living room. It was like, it was, remember that trip?

• 1:50:27Speaker 04

  Kinda, I remember there was another video, maybe from that same weekend where I was on the air mattress in the living room. And I was like, hey, look at this. And I'm like taking my balls out of my shorts.

• 1:50:37Speaker 04

  He's cheating.

• 1:50:38Stavros Halkias?

  That's good stuff.

• 1:50:39Speaker 04

  He's cheating.

• 1:50:40Stavros Halkias?

  Here's what, yeah, here's what he's actually up to.

• 1:50:42Speaker 04

  Dude, those vibrator hating ass girls would never have this much fun.

• 1:50:45Stavros Halkias?

  No, I think they might. They be, they be buzzing their flits together.

• 1:50:49Speaker 04

  They're saying that, oh, you're, you're, it's weird the way you have sex with these.

• 1:50:54Stavros Halkias?

  You need to check your misogyny, Mr. Friedland.

• 1:50:55Speaker 04

  Maybe they'd be like, whoa, that vibrator looks pretty cool. They shouldn't make her feel bad about it. Your lips look really soft. Can I kiss them for a sec?

• 1:51:03Stavros Halkias?

  Can I kiss them? Can I use the vibrator?

• 1:51:04Speaker 04

  Ooh, it's cold in here.

• 1:51:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:51:06Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:51:06Stavros Halkias?

  Let's warm up.

• 1:51:07Speaker 04

  Maybe.

• 1:51:08Stavros Halkias?

  See? That's what you need to be thinking about, Adam.

• 1:51:11Speaker 04

  Yeah. Leave your misogyny at the door, Adam.

• 1:51:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, think about chicks kissing each other and sucking each other's tits. Like a fucking feminist, like me and Eldis.

• 1:51:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:51:22Stavros Halkias?

  Well, that's gonna do it for us, folks. Uh, go, go watch the Adam Friedland Show. We've linked to here.

• 1:51:29Speaker 04

  This is gonna blow up the show.

• 1:51:31Stavros Halkias?

  This is gonna blow up.

• 1:51:32Speaker 04

  This is gonna blow up the show.

• 1:51:34Stavros Halkias?

  This is gonna be huge.

• 1:51:34Speaker 04

  There's gonna be an article about this, huh?

• 1:51:36Stavros Halkias?

  I hope so, dude.

• 1:51:36Speaker 04

  In, in scoundrels quarterly.

• 1:51:41Speaker 04

  In Ask You. Alright, thanks for having me. I love you, boys.

• 1:51:45Stavros Halkias?

  Love to see you, brother.

• 1:51:46Speaker 04

  So good to see you.

• 1:51:46Stavros Halkias?

  See you guys next time, bye bye.

• 1:51:48Speaker 04

  Sayonara.

• 1:52:02Speaker 07

  This podcast is supported by Nurtac ODT. Remedy Pant. We know you didn't ask for an interruption, but migraine doesn't wait for the right moment to interrupt either. It just barges in, takes your time, and throws everything off. So when migraine takes your time, take Nurtac. It's for the acute treatment of migraine with or without aura in adults. Nurtac can provide pain relief in two hours, which can last up to two days. Ask your healthcare provider if Nurtac is right for you, because your time is for you, not migraine. Don't take if allergic to Nurtac ODT. Allergic reactions can occur even days after use. Get help right away for trouble breathing, rash, swelling of face, mouth, tongue, or throat. High blood pressure and Raynaud's syndrome can occur. Get help for high blood pressure, numbness, coolness, pain,

• 1:52:46Speaker 07

  or color changes in fingers and toes. Common side effect is nausea. For full prescribing information, call 1-833-4-NURTC or visit Nurtac.com. All right, back to your podcast, playlist, or whatever's keeping you going today.

• 1:53:03Speaker 00

  Hey, it's me, Teddy Swims. You hear that? That's life. So go grab it. Grab your old friends, grab new friends, grab a White Claw. Grab flavor for everyone in your group. Grab music, laughter, and moments you'll never forget. You'll never regret it. Hey, Teddy. Oh, hey, man. Grab new friends, grab old friends, grab life by the claw. White Claw.

• 1:53:29Speaker 01

  Please drink responsibly. White Claw Celtor Works, Chicago, Illinois.