Bonus #171 - Rufat Agayev [PATREON PREVIEW]

Patreon preview. Unlock full episode at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Rufat Agayev returns to the pod to discuss his new special THE BAD RUFAT, getting his car broken into the night before recording this, why we are long overdue for a female version of Jackass, his worldly travels, Warheads, and much more. Rufat and Stav help callers including a guy who's dating a woman who's awesome except for the fact that she's a cop, and a man who's wondering if he should report his neighbor's rooster to the city. Watch Rufat Agayev's special THE BAD RUFAT out now on Youtuve: https://youtu.be/wb2LatT16Ok Buy THE BAD RUFAT on DVD: https://ebay.us/m/7Zlavv Follow Rufat Agayev on social media: https://www.rufatagayev.com/ https://www.instagram.com/rufat_agayev/ https://www.youtube.com/@rufat_agayev ☎️ Want to be a part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice! 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

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• 1:00Speaker 01

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• 1:30Speaker 02

  I'm just calling because I have a bit of a moral dilemma that I'm kind of in the middle of. So, I met this girl, and she's really cool. She's super sick, she has a really good music taste, like, we get along, she has a really good sense of humor. Hung out a couple times, hooked up a couple times, and, uh, the thing is, she's a cop. Like, she's like in, like, police academy and, like, we've kind of talked about it, and I, like, asked, I was like, "Yo, so, like, what's up with that?" Yeah. She was like, "Oh, I want to be, like, one of the good ones." And I was like, "Hmm, okay, sure."

• 2:12Speaker 02

  And, um, I don't know, like, I guess I'm just struggling with that because it's like...

• 2:21Speaker 02

  Just being a cop is so like, I don't know.

• 2:24Stavros Halkias?

  It's a crazy thing to be signing up for right now.

• 2:27Speaker 02

  And there are no good ones. But she's sick as a person. So it's like, I don't know. It's weird. I don't really know what to, what to do or how to like proceed. I don't know. So any advice would be great. Alright, thanks guys.

• 2:42Stavros Halkias?

  Well, I don't know, man. How serious is this gonna be? She's in a cat, police academy. She's Latina too. Probably. You know, she got that fat, she got that fat ass in them cop pants. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. They are flattering. They are. Cop pants are. They do, they do make your ass look pretty big for the women. I've, the men, the, you know, I don't, I don't really see their, I don't really see any cheeked up male cops. Would you date a woman that used to date a cop? That used to date a cop? I guess it's in the context. Like, is it, she did it when she was like,

• 3:23Stavros Halkias?

  young and didn't really think about it and then has since been like, cause we all, you know, make mistakes in that sense. But if it's the kind of thing where she respects cops, no. I mean, I wouldn't date someone who respects cops or is a cop. I mean, there's no way. I just don't, we would, we would have such an incompatible worldview. And it's not to say, look, I have friends who are cops, but it's like, they're kind of grandfathered in. You know what I mean? And it's like, look, I see a cop on the street. It's like, I'm not gonna immediately think he's a fucking bad person. You know, or I'm gonna like, I'm not gonna be a dickhead to just some random person I see at their job. I don't think being a cop is good. Like, I don't think, and I think obviously the, uh,

• 4:05Stavros Halkias?

  there's this weird outsized reputation cop. Some people put on cops where it's like, they're heroes, where it's like, in reality, their jobs are really not that fucking dangerous compared to other stuff and other careers and they're paid, it's, it's an incredibly corrupt job. The fucking overtime they rack up, the, you know, like, the, the, the, the, the refusal to have outside people.

• 4:33Stavros Halkias?

  Like to have outside, like an outside agency be the one who handles investigating like cop incidents, right? Like it's like a weird mafia like sort of culture. And I just, I don't think that I could be in a serious relationship with someone who was a cop. I could probably fuck a hot girl who was a cop for a month and make fun of her about being a cop while I do it. And it could be a fling. I don't know though. I don't know that I could, if it was serious, I don't think I could do that.

• 5:11Speaker 04

  I think it's gonna eat this dude. Like, yeah, she's definitely Latina. That's the thing. She's definitely Latina. Like I know it.

• 5:23Speaker 04

  Or if she's like one of those whites with a fat ass too, like, you know, like, she's Albanian or something.

• 5:30Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, I don't know. You asked the question about would I date a girl who dated a cop?

• 5:33Speaker 04

  Cause my girlfriend, her ex was a cop.

• 5:36Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, a recent ex?

• 5:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 5:39Stavros Halkias?

  Wow. And what's that? Like, have you talked, have you delved into that?

• 5:44Speaker 04

  Hmm. I think, I think she, I think early on I checked, I think she was like, um, second date, I asked her, I was like, uh, are you a Zionist?

• 6:00Speaker 04

  Are you a Zionist? And she was like, nah, cause she's half, she's half Japanese, half Jewish. And so, but she did not have a good relationship with her dad who's Jewish. So like, she went to like Tel Aviv once to like visit him. It was a terrible experience. So I was like, yeah.

• 6:14Stavros Halkias?

  Oh man, he's in, her dad's in Tel Aviv.

• 6:15Speaker 04

  Yeah. Can't, can't, and I was like, I can't, I'm just gonna let you know that's, I don't do that. And she knows my stance. Like, I'm a socialist.

• 6:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 6:26Speaker 04

  I don't think socialist, I don't think we don't necessarily like not fuck with cops. I think we don't fuck with.

• 6:37Speaker 04

  Non-community people.

• 6:40Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right.

• 6:40Speaker 04

  Like, like, yeah, like, there shouldn't be people who aren't like, community-based. Like, that the only time you see him is when like, something either goes wrong.

• 6:50Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 6:50Speaker 04

  Or, like you said, just like, no checks and balances.

• 6:54Stavros Halkias?

  And the thing-

• 6:54Speaker 04

  Racking up, like, yeah.

• 6:55Stavros Halkias?

  And the thing is, it's like, are these even people who live in these communities?

• 6:58Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 6:59Stavros Halkias?

  Like, people who fucking come in from the suburbs to police the cities. There's something inherently fucked up about that.

• 7:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 7:05Stavros Halkias?

  And people, and look, is it possible, I guess, that there are people whose heart is in the right place? And think they are gonna be one of the good ones? And then, spend time in the system, realize, there's no such thing as being one of the good ones?

• 7:20Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 7:21Stavros Halkias?

  And leave, you know what I mean? Like, is it possible that this, this person he's with could be kind of naive about what being a cop is like? She's like, "Oh, you can be one of the good ones, I'm gonna make change from within." You go there, you see how fucking impossible that is.

• 7:34Speaker 04

  Mm-mm.

• 7:35Stavros Halkias?

  And then you leave the job. Yeah, that's possible, she could, she could, you know, that could happen. I'm just saying it's something to monitor, and it's like, you know.

• 7:45Speaker 04

  You can barely do that shit in comedy. You think, you think you could do that shit as a cop? I'm gonna, I'll be one of the good ones, like, nah. You gonna be opening up for the devil or somebody, you know what I mean?

• 7:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. So, that's interesting, though, that is, uh, the, the, it is, it is important to, I mean, sec, you said the second date, you kinda were like?

• 8:07Speaker 04

  I pressed her on her, like, and then, like, I found out she, and it was like, almost like two, you know, not two strikes, but two, like,

• 8:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 8:14Speaker 04

  red, reddish flags.

• 8:16Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 8:17Speaker 04

  But like, mm, yeah, I don't know. I have never gotten the vibe from her that she's a person, it's like, you know.

• 8:26Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, it's also, look, here's the thing.

• 8:27Speaker 04

  Like, her politics are in the right place now.

• 8:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 8:30Speaker 04

  So, and I don't know if her politics were in the wrong place. You never know, sometimes, you know, women, they come from all, they face all types of trauma.

• 8:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 8:38Speaker 04

  They might be, you know, sometimes women fall in love with pieces of, I've fallen in love with women that I knew I shouldn't have been with.

• 8:45Stavros Halkias?

  Of course, of course. And I do think there can be something attractive about something that is like- I mean, the like, men in uniform thing, I think is also wrapped up in a type of masculinity, and a type of like, being attracted to things that are bad for you, right? Like, so who knows? And maybe just, maybe the guy was a good guy and it didn't get that deep, and ultimately it didn't work out, so who gives a fuck? People can make mistakes, but if, if some, if I was with someone who dated a cop and was like, "They're just so brave, they're, what would we do without them?" I mean, no, I'm not dating that person.

• 9:18Speaker 04

  No.

• 9:19Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? But if, if I, if I could date someone who has a less extreme view, as long as we align on, you know, the, what you, you know, crim, other criminal justice shit, but, you know, her being a cop? If this is eating you alive, brother, it's not gonna get better. And I would say, you, you probably should not do it. Or if you do, look, if, it's something to monitor in the relationship, right? Like.

• 9:50Speaker 04

  It's hard when that ass is fat, though.

• 9:52Stavros Halkias?

  I, I agree.

• 9:53Speaker 04

  It's hard, and she, this, this girl could probably do pull-ups.

• 9:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who knows, maybe? I don't know.

• 10:00Speaker 04

  Or no, I think like, something, yeah, no, you're right.

• 10:02Stavros Halkias?

  What's a new recruit looking, I mean, maybe a new recruit, yes, but...

• 10:05Speaker 04

  Cause these ICE dudes ain't doing pull-ups.

• 10:06Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no. She's not nice. ICE is a complete and utter, you can't be fucking dating anybody in ICE. They're complete pieces of shit. Anyone who's in ICE, quit or kill yourself. Those are, that's, that's the only way you can be a good person if you work for ICE or Border Patrol right now. Kill yourself. Kill yourself or quit. Or even better, be a whistleblower, record some shit, put it out there, and then quit. But, you know, everyone who works for ICE is a fucking coward, so they would never do it.

• 10:38Speaker 04

  Don't be fucking them girls in the Mossad, you know, I mean...

• 10:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, don't get got, don't get got Cash Patel style.

• 10:47Stavros Halkias?

  It was funny to think about the like, uh, the, the, the hot women that aren't as good at acting as Gal Gadot in Israel become honeypot Mossad agents. It's crazy that she was the best actress. She's the one out of the honeypot group that they chose to act.

• 11:06Stavros Halkias?

  That bitch with Cash Patel can't give a better, or actually, maybe that's who they, the shitty actresses get to go to Hollywood because the good ones have to pretend they want to fuck Cash Patel or whoever else. Maybe that's how they're doing it, but anyway, man, yeah, look, personally, I don't think I could do it. I don't think I could be in a serious relationship with a cop. Um, and you know, I had friends, I've had friends who were cops and it really fucked our relationship up for a while, but then it comes back around where someone isn't their whole identity and you know, my, then your friend is just a guy who got into the wrong career, but also it to the extent that you could be one of the good

• 11:47Stavros Halkias?

  ones, kind of is, has a fucking family. I would still be like, get a different job, but it's like, you know, he is, he didn't turn him evil or anything. And so it's like you can turn back around, but when someone is a new recruit and they're zealous about being a cop and, and like, is excited about it, I don't know that I could do that shit. But if you catch someone kind of jaded on the way out, it's like about to retire and, and thinks it was a mistake, I could see that. I could see dating somebody like that, but I think move on, dude. Unless the fat, the ass is that fat.

• 12:23Stavros Halkias?

  It's gotta be, man. Yeah.

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• 13:04Speaker 06

  What's up, sports fans? I'm Rachel Damita, here to tell you about my show Courtside Club. If you love hoops and hot takes, then you're in the right place. Want to hear about Katelyn Clark's unstoppable rise in the WNBA? How stars like Wemby and Luka Doncic are dominating the NBA? Or maybe you just want the tea on this week's most viral sports moments. Don't worry, we'll keep you updated on all of it. So grab your popcorn and come hang with us. Courtside. You can listen to Courtside Club wherever you get your podcasts. Uwi-a-na.