Bonus #162 - Brittany Carney [PATREON PREVIEW]

Patreon preview. Unlock full episode at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Brittany Carney returns to the pod to discuss Abraham Lincoln’s homosocial relationships, the 17-year cycles of cicadas and whether they are proof of a higher being, the intricacies of Japanese cuisine, why DC is so dorky and sexless and lame, when her and Stav walked through an art museum and how predictable each of their individual tastes were, and much more. Brittany and Stav help callers including an overworked grad student dating another overworked grad student who are too exhausted to get intimate, and a man going through a divorce wondering if he should split custody of his dog with his cheater ex-wife. Watch Brittany Carney’s special THAT IS MY HORSE on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBkpX4TIi3w Follow Brittany Carney on social media: https://www.brittanycarneycomedy.com/ https://www.instagram.com/brittany.goblin.carney/ https://www.facebook.com/brittanyrcarney https://www.youtube.com/@Brittany.goblin.carney ☎️ Want to be a part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice! 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

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• 0:31Speaker 01

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• 0:59Speaker 02

  What's up, Tommy? This is Ethan.

• 1:04Speaker 02

  I haven't really, really watched your show very much, but first time calling, too.

• 1:08Stavros Halkias?

  He hasn't watched the show very much.

• 1:11Speaker 02

  So, I'm going through a divorce. My soon-to-be ex-wife and I have a dog.

• 1:18Stavros Halkias?

  He's like, "I don't really know the show, but this fucking whore left me. I gotta tell somebody about it." I've called every podcast that has an advice section. I'm hoping to get through to one of them.

• 1:30Speaker 04

  You know, male loneliness.

• 1:31Stavros Halkias?

  I know, it really is.

• 1:32Speaker 04

  Do you have friends?

• 1:34Stavros Halkias?

  Keep going, keep going.

• 1:35Speaker 02

  I'm going through a divorce. My soon-to-be ex-wife and I have a dog. And let's just put it this way, I love the dog. The dog's basically my dog. But I'm trying to be nice and let her have the dog as well. The real question.

• 1:53Stavros Halkias?

  The fuck out of here.

• 1:55Speaker 02

  Is every other week?

• 1:57Stavros Halkias?

  Get the, you're not sharing custody of a fucking dog. Well, it's not a fucking kid. And again, maybe this is when I get too immigrant about it. But are you a fucking dog? Split custody of a fucking dog, somebody who wanted to, who's dissolving your marriage? You're gonna live through that? It's one thing when it's a kid, right?

• 2:15Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:16Stavros Halkias?

  You, and look, the best issue to the kid always comes first. It's a fucking dog, man. Either give her the fucking dog or keep the dog. But anyway, does he have, eh, let's just let him finish, but I, I don't think my opinion is gonna change much.

• 2:27Speaker 02

  Much, is it, should I just say fuck it all?

• 2:30Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 2:31Speaker 02

  And tell the bitch to walk? She had an affair on me, so.

• 2:35Stavros Halkias?

  Now we're talking.

• 2:36Speaker 02

  I'm being nice, but I don't know what to do. So, uh, yeah, any, any help I could get from you and, and all the guys, it would be great. Thanks.

• 2:45Stavros Halkias?

  Come on, dude.

• 2:46Speaker 04

  So he's asking whether or not he should.

• 2:51Stavros Halkias?

  This makes me fucking sick.

• 2:53Speaker 04

  Does he want the, like, I'm trying to understand what, he prefers to have the dog to himself.

• 2:56Stavros Halkias?

  He wants the dog, first of all, this is just a cocked man.

• 3:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, just a cocked man.

• 3:00Stavros Halkias?

  Who's, who's looking, who's putting on the like, he has, he's putting on the armor of being mad, but in his heart, he is still cares about this person and is so destroyed that he is using the excuse of the dog to pretend he's being forced into having a relationship with this woman.

• 3:24Speaker 05

  This is his pathetic, this is his pathetic, yes. Desperate attempt at like trying to tell himself.

• 3:28Stavros Halkias?

  I don't want her in my life, but I mean.

• 3:29Speaker 05

  He has some leverage here.

• 3:30Stavros Halkias?

  I don't want her in my life, but she's gotta see the dog.

• 3:33Speaker 04

  The dog is potential leverage.

• 3:34Stavros Halkias?

  She fucked another guy, but I'm gonna hate seeing her, but I couldn't possibly take this dog, which by my own admission, I actually only love, and she probably doesn't even give a fuck. Dude, come on.

• 3:47Speaker 04

  I believe that's it. The dog is like a potential, it's like the last vestige, right?

• 3:52Stavros Halkias?

  It gives, yes, it gives him plausible deniability for the reason he's in her life. It's like, oh, I hate this. I have this, she has to see the dog, it's like, brother, move on, fuck.

• 4:04Speaker 05

  Yeah, he needs to like look within and be like. Am I just trying to find an excuse to continue contact with her?

• 4:11Stavros Halkias?

  Of course he is.

• 4:12Speaker 05

  When she's cheated on me?

• 4:13Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 4:13Speaker 05

  She's moved on.

• 4:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 4:15Speaker 05

  She's done.

• 4:16Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 4:16Speaker 05

  I have nothing left.

• 4:18Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 4:18Speaker 05

  All I have is this dog. If I tell her, I want this dog full time, will she be like, okay, fine?

• 4:23Stavros Halkias?

  She'll be like, whatever.

• 4:25Speaker 04

  Right.

• 4:25Speaker 05

  That's what you have to ask yourself.

• 4:27Speaker 04

  Cause she doesn't have leverage of her, if she's the one that cheated and that's the reason the relationship ended, I can't imagine her being like, no, I'm keeping the dog.

• 4:38Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 4:38Speaker 04

  Those are the terms.

• 4:39Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 4:40Speaker 04

  The terms are not hers exactly, right?

• 4:41Stavros Halkias?

  And in fact, here's what I would say, this is, this goes back to our classic, our classic advice to someone who's been kind of cucked or in a bad way is like, it's like dispense, like you should be mean to her. You should be kind of a dickhead to her, right? You should be trying to lash out where it's like, in fact, if she loved the dog, you should be like, you know what, bitch? I'm keeping the fucking dog. Maybe you can suck a schnauzer out of Eric's cock, you fucking slut. That's how you should be behaving. Like we've said, you shouldn't be a misogynist, but when you're going through a situation like this, misogyny is like chemotherapy, where it's a little bit of poison that's gonna harm you for a little bit, but it'll kill being a cuck. And that's what you need momentarily.

• 5:26Stavros Halkias?

  You need to only put yourself forward. Don't think about this person who wronged you and move on with your life. And in a year or so, if you want to be cordial with her, I don't, that's fine, but also you probably shouldn't have them in your life. This is over, bro. It's an ex-wife who cheated on you and you know, for the time being, this dog shit is fucking ridiculous. So hopefully, um, you know, this episode is one of the four you've seen when this comes out and you hear, and you hear our advice, cause you need it. And we've all been there. Again, I'm only harsh with you because I've been in this exact, when you're pathetically looking for excuses to get back into the life of your ex, come on, we've all been there. But we're trying to save you from that, from that fate.

• 6:10Stavros Halkias?

  The quicker you just, the quicker she's out of your mind, the better.

• 6:23Speaker 06

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• 7:08Speaker 06

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• 7:22Speaker 07

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