Bonus #105 - Brandon Wardell [PATREON PREVIEW]

Patreon preview. Unlock full episode at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Friend of the pod Brandon Wardell returns to check out some epic Beetlejuice moments, first times, dropping out of college after a couple months, rocking a long Peter Pan shirt, pilfering the hot sauce at Chipotle, his favorite subreddits, and much more. Brandon and Stav help callers including a woman who is considering a green card marriage to solve her financial problems, and a woman whose sperm donor dad is pissed that she's trying to connect with her half-siblings. See Brandon Wardell live and follow on social media: https://linktr.ee/brandonwardell https://www.instagram.com/bswardell https://x.com/BRANDONWARDELL Subscribe to the Brandon Jamel Show on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thebrandonjamelshow Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  This podcast is supported by Nurtac ODT, Remedy Pant. We know you didn't ask for an interruption, but migraine doesn't wait for the right moment to interrupt either. It just barges in, takes your time, and throws everything off. So when migraine takes your time, take Nurtac. It's for the acute treatment of migraine with or without aura in adults. Nurtac can provide pain relief in two hours, which can last up to two days. Ask your healthcare provider if Nurtac is right for you, because your time is for you, not migraine. Don't take if allergic to Nurtac ODT. Allergic reactions can occur even days after use. Get help right away for trouble breathing, rash, swelling of face, mouth, tongue, or throat. High blood pressure and Raynaud's syndrome can occur. Get help for high blood pressure, numbness, coolness, pain,

• 0:45Speaker 00

  or color changes in fingers and toes. Common side effect is nausea. For full prescribing information, call 1-833-4-NURTC or visit Nurtac.com. All right, back to your podcast, playlist, or whatever's keeping you going today.

• 1:00Speaker 01

  Time for a quick break to talk about McDonald's. Start your morning with the $6.00 McRiddles Extra Value Meal, featuring your choice of a sausage, egg, and cheese McRiddles, or bacon, egg, and cheese McRiddles, plus crispy hash browns and a small premium roast coffee. Sweet, savory, crispy, and caffeinated, it's everything your morning ordered, all for just $6.00. Promotion pricing may be lower than meal pricing at participating McDonald's.

• 1:24Speaker 02

  Oh, stop it, baby. I called in probably a couple of weeks ago regarding my financial difficulties, but I failed to elaborate. So here's my situation. I own two properties out of state in Colorado and California. Right now, I'm currently living in Florida.

• 1:43Stavros Halkias?

  Why?

• 1:43Speaker 02

  I work two jobs.

• 1:45Stavros Halkias?

  Why is that what your life is like? That sounds so hard and stupid, but okay.

• 1:53Speaker 02

  Now, I'm currently living in Florida. I work two jobs. I have no days off, yet I'm still in insurmountable debt. However, during this morning's unfortunate election results, I found out that one of the guys I had been seeing... is undocumented and he's suggesting um that he pay me um twenty thousand dollars to get married.

• 2:21Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting.

• 2:22Speaker 02

  And I don't know, uh, what are your thoughts? Like, I feel like I would have a lot to lose during this marriage and I know that, you know, ah, you are responsible for that person for the next ten years. So it's just a lot to consider, but I am dead broke right now, Bobby. Like, I have no savings. Um, like, should I do this? Should I refinance my house? I don't know.

• 2:43Stavros Halkias?

  Why do you own two properties?

• 2:45Speaker 04

  Sell the properties. Sell the two properties.

• 2:48Stavros Halkias?

  Are you underwater on the properties? Sell the properties.

• 2:52Speaker 04

  Sell the two properties.

• 2:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 2:53Speaker 04

  I've, that was, I wanted to hear her out.

• 2:56Stavros Halkias?

  Why do you have two properties?

• 2:58Speaker 05

  She must be underwater if it's like this fucking bad.

• 3:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, sell the two properties for sure.

• 3:03Stavros Halkias?

  When people li- look at TikToks, they're like, get passive income. Buy out of state, rent it out, get your cash flow going.

• 3:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 3:12Stavros Halkias?

  Fucking idiots, man. I hope, I, I don't know what's going on, but wh- why do you have two properties? Why are you living in Florida? Why don't you live in one of your two properties?

• 3:26Speaker 04

  Sell, yeah, sell the two properties.

• 3:28Stavros Halkias?

  What's the fuck is go- like, this is her elaborating? This feels like a fucking riddle, dude. I don't fucking know. What the fuck? This is you with giving us more information?

• 3:40Speaker 04

  Right.

• 3:41Stavros Halkias?

  Um.

• 3:42Speaker 04

  I mean, I don't, she, she should save this guy.

• 3:46Stavros Halkias?

  Well, I, we don't, she doesn't know this guy.

• 3:48Speaker 04

  Sell the prop- sell the properties.

• 3:49Stavros Halkias?

  Look, I don't know if she should marry the, the thing is.

• 3:51Speaker 04

  Marry this guy.

• 3:52Stavros Halkias?

  Should you get into a marriage for twenty K?

• 3:56Speaker 04

  Not for twenty K. That's not, that's crazy.

• 3:59Speaker 05

  I feel like that's gotta be market rate for like what a green card marriage like would, would pay.

• 4:05Stavros Halkias?

  I, I don't think it's a bad sum of money.

• 4:07Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 4:07Stavros Halkias?

  I'm just saying, jacking off again.

• 4:12Speaker 05

  He's getting horny at the thought of a green card marriage.

• 4:16Stavros Halkias?

  Well, so you pay, you get married, you know what happens to your marriage? What, he just thought of a lady in a wedding dress and his dick started getting hard? I thought, ooh, maybe she's wearing tasteful lace. Fucking idiot. Um, yeah, I mean, why, okay.

• 4:35Stavros Halkias?

  Is there a rea- truly, we don't know. Is there a reason you're in Florida? Is there a reason you're not in California or Colorado? If you like Florida, why don't you sell your properties? Um, if you don't have a good, I mean, that's what I would do. I would just, clearly your overhead is too high, right? And if you get this $20,000, does it solve your problems? If you're, like, if that's the case, which I don't, I can't in any way see that it is, by the way.

• 5:03Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 5:04Stavros Halkias?

  If you're under, if you're in insurmountable debt, is, and are you just, you're gonna marry someone for a little breathing? You're gonna essentially commit fraud? That's the other thing, we haven't even talked about how you could get caught and that could fuck your life up.

• 5:19Speaker 05

  And that, you know, I'm sure a green card marriage will be easier than ever to go through in the next four years.

• 5:26Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right, right, right. Um, and that you might just end up in a bad marriage. And he does, like, she, she says she's actually seeing the guy.

• 5:35Speaker 05

  She says one of the guys I'm seeing.

• 5:37Stavros Halkias?

  Right, which actually makes it more complicated in a way. Like, if it's just some guy.

• 5:42Speaker 05

  Right.

• 5:42Stavros Halkias?

  And it's like, if it's, perfect scenario would be a gay dude.

• 5:45Speaker 05

  Right.

• 5:46Stavros Halkias?

  Be his beard for 20K. You guys move in together, he fucking, you know, gives you fashion tips. You know, you get your own little gay guy for 20, and you get 20K? Perfect setup. You know what I mean? But that's not what's going on here. This feels like, from what you told us, I would say, what your life is missing is not more complications. You're spread across three states. You you own property, you have debt. You're dating multiple guys. Is 20K going to solve your problems? If the answer is no, then definitely don't do it. If it is, if 20K somehow would solve all your problems.

• 6:29Speaker 04

  Sell the places.

• 6:30Stavros Halkias?

  Then it's like, at least think about it. Well, but I don't know, we don't, yeah, obviously you should sell the places, right? I think that's that's the first step. But I'm saying, in a world where you can keep everything and 20K is all you need to fix your life.

• 6:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 6:43Stavros Halkias?

  Right? If there's some $20,000 like, you know, loan that's about to accrue more debt if you don't pay it off soon.

• 6:52Stavros Halkias?

  May, then then at least think about it. But if it won't, if $20,000 doesn't completely fix your life, don't do it. Right? Don't fucking do it. And now, let's think about the rest of your life. Why is this going on? Why the fuck do you have two properties in two different states? Why do you live in Florida? This is not the answer. Making, getting an illegal, incredibly complex, both emotionally and like financially scheme is not your answer here. Simplifying your life is the answer and like, your shit's all over the place right now. So, yeah, hopefully, I love that this is, I appreciate you kept it brief. We really appreciate that.

• 7:35Stavros Halkias?

  But this is the rare time, 20 more seconds would have been fine. For a little background on what the fuck you're, how you got these properties, where where you got the money? Did you inherit them? Why you won't sell them? Why you're in Florida, et cetera, et cetera. Damn.

• 7:52Speaker 04

  She's gotta go towards less paperwork.

• 7:55Stavros Halkias?

  Less paperwork, less.

• 7:56Speaker 04

  A marriage will add more paperwork.

• 7:58Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, that's crazy. You could just tell she's like, like, easy pickings right now. This guy senses weakness in her.

• 8:06Speaker 04

  Yeah. He watched, he's watching the the deleg, the the delegates go up. He's like.

• 8:14Stavros Halkias?

  Would you consider, is there a number you would consider for a green card marriage? Would you do that?

• 8:19Speaker 04

  Damn, for like hmm and we have to.

• 8:24Stavros Halkias?

  You don't have to have sex.

• 8:25Speaker 04

  It's a real, okay.

• 8:27Stavros Halkias?

  It could be a sham marriage.

• 8:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, so then you have to go around being like, yeah, so I'm in a sham marriage.

• 8:33Stavros Halkias?

  I will say, I do know people that have done this.

• 8:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 8:37Stavros Halkias?

  It happens in New York a lot. I know Greek people that have done this, like.

• 8:41Speaker 04

  Uh, people, I know, I know straight, you can get like gay married as a straight couple. Like you can get like a civil union.

• 8:49Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, but I, I don't think that, I don't think that would like help you immediately get in the country.

• 8:52Speaker 04

  But you get like, no, no, no, it's not a green card thing, but it's, I, I know people have done that for like healthcare.

• 8:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you get, that's easy. You can do that, no problem, but we're talking about getting you in the country. That feels like a little harder.

• 9:04Speaker 04

  Damn, well, I don't know, I don't wanna say, cause I have, I have less money than you do, so.

• 9:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, our, our, our number, my number is ten million dollars. And Brandon's is four hundred and fifty.

• 9:23Stavros Halkias?

  Twenty K is a nice fucking, that's a nice amount of money.

• 9:26Speaker 04

  I, it would require more than twenty K.

• 9:29Stavros Halkias?

  But what if it's easy? What if it's like, you just need to fucking be roommates with somebody for like a couple of years? And they pay for everything and they give you a lump sum.

• 9:38Speaker 04

  But if this is like for over, for years, so like I feel like.

• 9:42Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know how long it is, to be honest with you.

• 9:44Speaker 04

  I feel like five hundred.

• 9:46Stavros Halkias?

  K?

• 9:46Speaker 04

  Five hundred K, oh yeah, you're too pricey, bro.

• 9:49Stavros Halkias?

  A hundred K?

• 9:50Speaker 04

  A hundred K seems still a lot.

• 9:53Speaker 05

  I don't think anyone's doing that shit for more than like twenty K.

• 9:55Speaker 04

  I think twenty K is probably what it is.

• 9:57Speaker 05

  I mean, that's the top end.

• 9:59Stavros Halkias?

  Cause broke, you know, you're just gonna go to broke ass people, that's the thing, like.

• 10:02Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 10:02Stavros Halkias?

  You're gonna go to people who are struggling, like my, uh, the people that I know that have done it, like, I don't even know how much it was.

• 10:09Speaker 05

  If I had a chance at like twenty four.

• 10:11Stavros Halkias?

  Right, that's actually more accurate.

• 10:13Speaker 05

  That would have been fucking awesome.

• 10:14Stavros Halkias?

  Imagine twenty K when you're like, cause it's also a little more believable when you're young and dumb, like, you know what I mean? Your life is less like.

• 10:22Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 10:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that would have been fucking awesome.

• 10:25Speaker 04

  Dude, twenty four.

• 10:26Speaker 05

  I'm sure I would have turned.

• 10:27Stavros Halkias?

  Even ten K.

• 10:28Speaker 05

  I'm sure if she was like, even like a little hot, I would have turned like ultra simp too and try to like fuck her or something also.

• 10:38Speaker 05

  And like, just like, you know, just eluded myself that maybe it really can work or something.

• 10:44Stavros Halkias?

  She might have even thrown you some pussy because she started getting nervous. You're just reading like, you're, you're just reading up on immigration law and she's like.

• 10:53Speaker 05

  I just say shit like, what if, uh, they get some evidence that might make this a little, a little less bulletproof than it is right now? Just blackmail her?

• 11:09Stavros Halkias?

  She would still dominate you just purely psychologically?

• 11:12Speaker 05

  Absolutely.

• 11:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, especially 24-year-old eldest.

• 11:17Speaker 05

  Yeah, for real.

• 11:18Stavros Halkias?

  Not the he-man we see before us today. Not the bitch controller. Not the number one bitch, bitch tamer.

• 11:40Speaker 00

  This podcast is supported by Nurtac ODT, Remedy Pant. We know you didn't ask for an interruption, but migraine doesn't wait for the right moment to interrupt either. It just barges in, takes your time and throws everything off. So when migraine takes your time, take Nurtac. It's for the acute treatment of migraine with or without aura in adults. Nurtac can provide pain relief in two hours, which can last up to two days. Ask your healthcare provider if Nurtac is right for you because your time is for you, not migraine. Don't take if allergic to Nurtac ODT. Allergic reactions can occur even days after use. Get help right away for trouble breathing, rash, swelling of face, mouth, tongue, or throat. High blood pressure and Raynaud's syndrome can occur.

• 12:21Speaker 00

  Get help for high blood pressure, numbness, coolness, pain, or color changes in fingers and toes. Common side effect is nausea. For full prescribing information, call 1-833-4-NUR-TAC or visit Nurtac.com. All right, back to your podcast, playlist, or whatever's keeping you going today.

• 12:39Stavros Halkias?

  This episode is brought to you by Visible. The smartest upgrade this season isn't a new phone. It's a better wireless plan. Switch to Visible, the ultimate wireless hack. You get unlimited 5G data and unlimited hotspot powered by Verizon. We have Visible here at Stavie Baby Enterprises. We love it. We just got a new assistant. She loves it. She's taking all our sushi orders. They're going through the Visible network brought to you by Verizon. It's fast, it's reliable, it's so sick. They sponsor the Stavies World Hotline, as you know, and make it possible for us to help all our callers out. Oh my God, they're the best. Switch today at visible.com. The Visible plan starts at $25 a month or get the Premium Visible Plus Pro Plan and save $10 on your first month with promo code STAV.

• 13:24Stavros Halkias?

  Terms apply.