Bonus #101 - Kush Brothers Vol. 16 [PATREON PREVIEW]

Patreon preview. Unlock full episode at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Jamel Johnson, JP McDade and Mr. Cheeks assemble for an extremely important Kush Brothers lol. Our expert panel helps callers including a woman who’s paranoid that her boyfriend wants to cheat, a UMBC student who thinks all his teachers and fellow students at Stav’s alma mater are total losers, and one especially timely a$$ call. Follow Jamel Johnson on social media: https://www.instagram.com/broccolihouse https://twitter.com/NonProfitComic Follow JP McDade on social media: https://twitter.com/jp_mcdade https://www.instagram.com/mcdadebaby Follow Mr. Cheeks on social media: https://www.instagram.com/benfobrien/ https://twitter.com/benfobrien Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  My wife and I are excited to start trying for a baby. The issue is we're both vegan and the kid will be vegan. That decision's been made. I'm good from the health side. I'm only worried about making my kid an outcast.

• 0:11Speaker 01

  I have concerns.

• 0:11Speaker 00

  Is there anything I can do to mitigate the damage? Should the kid get to decide once they are old enough, thirteen, fifteen? Who knows? Now to add some context. I was not vegan while I dated my wife for the first four years. My whole life, I got to experience all the culinary offerings of the world before I went meat sober. The kid will not. Uh, I realize that that's a major drop off from what other kids will get to experience. And I'm good with that, but more concerned about how they'll be perceived by other kids.

• 0:42Speaker 01

  Why are you good with that?

• 0:43Speaker 00

  If it means anything, my wife did convince me against circumcision. She's got a good head on her shoulders and she doesn't think that-

• 0:49Speaker 01

  Alright, one for two.

• 0:50Speaker 00

  We need to live our lives just because everybody else does the same way, so. Need some advice from an alternative type guy. Thanks, Bobby.

• 0:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's me, baby.

• 1:00Speaker 01

  You are an alternative type guy.

• 1:02Stavros Halkias?

  I'm an alternative type guy.

• 1:05Speaker 03

  You're an alternative to a guy.

• 1:08Stavros Halkias?

  What? Hey, what the hell?

• 1:11Stavros Halkias?

  Elders do not give Giffy the laugh for saying I'm not a guy. Stop that right now. I'm not a guy. Explain that.

• 1:22Speaker 01

  That was guy like-

• 1:24Speaker 03

  That was a tweet.

• 1:26Stavros Halkias?

  Explain that little squeaker.

• 1:30Speaker 01

  Put some bass in your shit, bro.

• 1:32Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck you guys. Fuck, even my fart backfired.

• 1:38Speaker 01

  Fuck, I'm toast.

• 1:40Stavros Halkias?

  I'm gayer than this kid's vegan, than this guy's vegan son.

• 1:54Speaker 04

  Oh, I'm not a guy. Piccolo noise.

• 1:58Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck you. You get fucking embarrassed when we fart in public, pussy. JP's like, turns red and he's like.

• 2:05Speaker 01

  I mean, it is a lot, man. That's a lot in the streets, man. That's a lot of shit. We're in the.

• 2:11Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck both of you, pussy.

• 2:12Speaker 01

  We're at the cheat zone. You can do that in the cheat zone.

• 2:16Speaker 03

  You can't yet. That's actually true. You can do that in the.

• 2:20Speaker 01

  So are the main things you do in there.

• 2:23Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, this is calming me. This is calming me, putting me in the right mindset to answer this guy's question.

• 2:29Speaker 01

  This guy just withholding the choice of life from his theoretical child.

• 2:33Stavros Halkias?

  Here's what is fu- look, you want to raise your kid vegan, whatever. It's your, like, that's your kid. But I do think when they, if they are like, I'd like to try this food, you kind of let them. You kind of got to let them. You know what I mean? Like, I, that's what, like, you can set up vegan infrastructure. Look, he's your kid. He, you, both you and your wife are vegan. Like, we had, we have friends who raised their kids vegan and then they gave them the choice and they just stayed vegan.

• 3:01Speaker 03

  It's just weird to try to, to me, to enforce veganism.

• 3:05Stavros Halkias?

  I agree.

• 3:05Speaker 03

  At a certain age, like when they're out of the home, like, that just feels like real weird religious.

• 3:09Stavros Halkias?

  It feels religious. Like, when they get to, like, twelve and they're like, you know what? I like chicken nuggets. You kind of got to let them eat chick- you know what I mean? Like, um. And, but that is, some vegan people really are like, killing a chicken is like killing a baby. You know what I mean? Like, they're like that and it's like.

• 3:27Speaker 03

  I need a baby.

• 3:28Stavros Halkias?

  No, it is.

• 3:30Speaker 01

  Fuck it, give me the baby then.

• 3:31Stavros Halkias?

  Is wild, dude.

• 3:32Speaker 01

  I've never seen baby nuggets nowhere. Chickens, chickens are ever, all over the earth for us to eat them.

• 3:38Stavros Halkias?

  Chicken, you can definitely.

• 3:39Speaker 03

  Carrying around our meat. That's what it's their purpose.

• 3:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:43Stavros Halkias?

  Um, so, yeah, I mean, I don't know. I think, now, in terms of other kids fucking with him, I don't, I honestly don't think. Kids now are actually hysterically open-minded.

• 3:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, by then, I know.

• 3:55Speaker 03

  It's crazy. I don't think they would.

• 3:56Stavros Halkias?

  They're all gay. They're all like, you know what I mean?

• 3:59Speaker 04

  Because he's lethargic and his bones will break easily.

• 4:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, they won't. Um, yeah, I don't think that's an issue. I think really. Like, here's the thing, if he comes to you at 12 and he says, I wanna get cer- I wanna pull the old eldest's dad and get circumcised. Like, you gotta, it's his body, you know what I mean? Like, it's sa- I feel the same way about like imposing any kind of strict, like, diet. It's like, the kid doesn't wanna do it, you know, like, or if he's like, I just wanna be vegetarian, you gotta let that motherfucker have cheese, so... But I don't think there's anything wrong, you've made your decision, like, I think it's fine to... Look, for the first, however many years of a kid's life, it does whatever the fuck you tell it to, right?

• 4:44Stavros Halkias?

  And, but when it gets past that, I think you have to be a little more open-minded than that and just let him, let the kid find its own way.

• 4:50Speaker 05

  You also gotta like expect it or something, I think about like, Ahamed Weinberg who just did this show and he was like, he was like, "I was sneaking chicken in my bedroom, like, it was fucking weed."

• 5:01Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right, right.

• 5:02Speaker 05

  Cause like his parents were vegan or whatever.

• 5:04Stavros Halkias?

  Right, I, I already, it already feels like if you're being that militant, you're almost guaranteeing he'll fucking rebel and eat fucking... When you're that militant, you either get little fucking drones that follow you completely and then they have to break that, or you get people that are overly rebellious, I think you just have to present the vegan lifestyle.

• 5:24Speaker 03

  I wouldn't want a kid that didn't rebel and try milk.

• 5:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 5:30Speaker 03

  It's everywhere.

• 5:32Stavros Halkias?

  So yeah, man, let that little fucker do what he wants.

• 5:35Speaker 04

  Cam Newton didn't start acting like that until he went vegan.

• 5:39Speaker 01

  Great point.

• 5:40Speaker 04

  He didn't put any of that shit on, he typed "normal."