#205 - Esther Povitsky and Jordan Jensen

Esther Povitsky and Jordan Jensen return to the pod to discuss Jordan's current mental state, Esther's love of motherhood, being the fun aunt or uncle, men vs. women in SLAA meetings, fully abstaining from everything to avoid fully indulging in everything, Stav's UberEats history, and much more. Esther, Jordan and Stav help callers including a woman whose hypochondriac mom is falling for an $80k blood transfusion scam, and a woman who wants tips on exploiting her pathetic paypig ex's findom kink. Follow Esther Povitsky on social media: https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster https://www.tiktok.com/@esthermonster Follow Jordan Jensen on social media: https://www.jordanjensencomedy.com/ https://www.youtube.com/@jordanjensenlolstop https://www.instagram.com/jordanjensenlolstop/ https://www.facebook.com/jordan.cosentinijensen Thanks to our sponsors! Visible - https://www.visible.com/ SWITCH NOW! Twisted Tea - https://www.twistedtea.com/locations Keep It Twisted!! Ridge - https://www. Ridge.com/STAVVY ☎️ Want to be a part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice! 🎤 Watch Uncle Stav on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/82055929 ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld 🎟️ See Stavvy live!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  If you're a small business, the right hire can be make or break. Indeed sponsored jobs gets you quality candidates when you need them most. Join the 3.3 million employers worldwide that use Indeed to connect with quality talent that fits their needs. Listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit to help get your job the premium status it deserves at indeed.com/podcast. That's indeed.com/podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Hiring now, then this is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs.

• 0:30Speaker 01

  Smaller than ever, more powerful, more accurate. Meet Pod 6, an intelligent mattress cover that transforms your existing bed. It cools and heats each side from 55 degrees to 110 degrees. Shop now at 8sleep.com.

• 0:46Stavros Halkias?

  Welcome, everybody to Stav's World, 904-800-Stav. Call the visible hotline, we'll solve all your problems. We have two favorites returning.

• 0:57Speaker 03

  Three.

• 0:58Stavros Halkias?

  Three. Heidi's never been on, has she? I don't think so.

• 1:02Speaker 03

  I don't think so.

• 1:03Stavros Halkias?

  The last time you were here, she, I believe you left her at home. It was just you, no other souls, just me and you. Same thing with the first time you came on, Esther, it was just us.

• 1:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:12Stavros Halkias?

  Back in the old Astoria apartment.

• 1:14Speaker 03

  It wasn't just me and you, it was just me, you, and then every troll on the internet.

• 1:17Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, of course. That was tough. That was a tough.

• 1:19Speaker 03

  That was tough.

• 1:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:22Stavros Halkias?

  I know, and I really.

• 1:23Speaker 04

  I wasn't gonna bring it up.

• 1:26Stavros Halkias?

  Remember, Jordan, remember how last time you started with something controversial too early? And it fucked up the ability to plug stuff? Why are you bringing it up again?

• 1:35Speaker 03

  Just so immediate.

• 1:37Stavros Halkias?

  You can't wait till minute 30 to bring it up?

• 1:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, you were out of your mind.

• 1:43Speaker 03

  I was out of my mind. I was post breakup. I was so mad. I was so resentful for all things with. And I just wanted to fucking just throw shit at the wall. And I did. And then I got the shit thrown at me.

• 1:55Stavros Halkias?

  And I did see, there was a look in your eyes that was concerning. I was like, is she fully here?

• 2:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, right, right, right, right.

• 2:01Stavros Halkias?

  And you weren't. But, but I also, that was really funny, because it was just like, that was just talking to, so much of the internet with comedy is like, talking to your friends the way you talk to your friends.

• 2:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:12Stavros Halkias?

  And then people clipping it out of context and making it seem like, like, I don't want credit for, I wasn't calling out bigotry. I was telling my friend who was clearly having a psychotic break to stop saying a slur. I was like, I was like, well, she's fucking here. If we don't do the episode, we're gonna have to find somebody else. You know, whatever, let's just get through it.

• 2:34Speaker 04

  We're through it now.

• 2:36Stavros Halkias?

  I was trying. And that happens all the time. You can't even make fun of like, a comedian friend of yours for doing something stupid without people being like, Stav's taking them all down.

• 2:46Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 2:47Stavros Halkias?

  And it's like.

• 2:47Speaker 03

  They were going to die in icy. It was insane. I was like, what the fuck? This is my come down, buddy. What's happening? What is happening? My mom's like, you see Stav's on 60 Minutes? I was like, what?

• 3:06Stavros Halkias?

  I know, I did hit CBS Saturday morning. I was really trying to get moms this, this special.

• 3:11Speaker 03

  You got my mom.

• 3:12Stavros Halkias?

  That's big. That's big, because your mom is a hard one to target.

• 3:15Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 3:16Stavros Halkias?

  What media does that type of person even do?

• 3:18Speaker 03

  Oh, my God, she's been sharing all your stuff.

• 3:20Stavros Halkias?

  Hell, yeah.

• 3:21Speaker 03

  This guy is gonna change things.

• 3:23Stavros Halkias?

  I loved meeting her. She was awesome, because I heard so much about her. And then here, meeting her at the special was really nice.

• 3:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:28Stavros Halkias?

  Because she's, she's exactly what you think she's gonna be, in an awesome way.

• 3:32Speaker 03

  She's the Tiger King.

• 3:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 3:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:35Stavros Halkias?

  But it look, you do, honestly, immediately, you're doing way better. I haven't seen you in a long time. Actually, that wasn't the last time we saw each other. We saw each other, like, maybe doing spots. But it was very in and out.

• 3:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:46Stavros Halkias?

  This is the first time we've really, like, looked into each other's eyes.

• 3:48Speaker 03

  I was at rock bottom. I was at rock bottom.

• 3:50Speaker 04

  What was causing that rock bottom?

• 3:51Speaker 03

  It was one of the millions of breakups with the same guy.

• 3:54Stavros Halkias?

  Where are we at now? You free? Every time I talk, I feel like we have a lot going on where it's like, I feel like every time I go on like, every time I go on like Caleb's podcast, or, or like Santino's podcast, I'm always talking about how, this is the year I change my life.

• 4:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:10Stavros Halkias?

  Get healthy.

• 4:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:11Stavros Halkias?

  And every time you come on this podcast, you've always just gone through a breakup that makes you insane in a different way, though, every time.

• 4:17Speaker 03

  Different way.

• 4:17Stavros Halkias?

  So why, how are we doing now?

• 4:18Speaker 03

  Also, can I just say?

• 4:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's also, she's got some dates. See her at the Beacon Theater.

• 4:24Speaker 03

  Beacon Theater?

• 4:26Stavros Halkias?

  When is it?

• 4:27Speaker 03

  November 12th.

• 4:28Stavros Halkias?

  Great. I think that's next week.

• 4:30Speaker 03

  Next week.

• 4:31Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 4:31Speaker 03

  I'll be there next week.

• 4:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 4:33Speaker 03

  Just in a few days.

• 4:34Stavros Halkias?

  Just a couple of days. Go see her.

• 4:36Speaker 03

  The, that.

• 4:38Stavros Halkias?

  Can I, well, real quick, that is my favorite place to do stand up in New York City.

• 4:41Speaker 03

  It is the best.

• 4:42Stavros Halkias?

  It's unbelievable. And look, I just did Radio City this year. It's awesome. It's a cool accomplishment, whatever. It feels the best to be at the, at the Beacon. It's fucking unbelievable.

• 4:52Speaker 03

  Not if we don't sell it out.

• 4:54Speaker 04

  You're gonna sell it out. You're gonna, it's gonna sell out.

• 4:57Stavros Halkias?

  It's gonna sell out. Don't worry, little buddy.

• 4:58Speaker 03

  It's so big. It's so big. Um, yeah, I've opened for people there.

• 5:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's incredible, right? It's really incredible.

• 5:05Speaker 03

  It's perfect. That and the.

• 5:06Stavros Halkias?

  There's a reason Seinfeld does, like, he, he has, he's done like hundreds of shows there.

• 5:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:11Stavros Halkias?

  He's got the record. But I'm, I'm nipping at his heels. He's done 200, I've done 3.

• 5:16Speaker 03

  It's close.

• 5:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. So it's really close. I didn't take a little break.

• 5:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:23Stavros Halkias?

  But yes, go see Jordan at the Beacon. Esther, is there anything you want to plug here?

• 5:27Speaker 04

  Um, my podcast, Trash Tuesday, and I have a new podcast called Glowing Up.

• 5:31Stavros Halkias?

  I love that.

• 5:31Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 5:32Stavros Halkias?

  Glowing Up.

• 5:33Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 5:33Stavros Halkias?

  And the concept.

• 5:34Speaker 03

  It's crazy that you got that name.

• 5:35Speaker 04

  Well, we, it's an old podcast that I used to do like 10 years ago. We brought it back.

• 5:39Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 5:39Speaker 03

  Right, you and.

• 5:40Stavros Halkias?

  Also, it's not like a hat, Jordan.

• 5:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 5:44Speaker 03

  What do you mean?

• 5:44Stavros Halkias?

  There's not like the podcast naming office. It's like, oh, you got Glowing Up.

• 5:48Speaker 03

  There isn't?

• 5:49Stavros Halkias?

  No, you can name it whatever the fuck you want.

• 5:51Speaker 03

  Have one?

• 5:51Stavros Halkias?

  You could name, you could, you could have a podcast named, you know.

• 5:54Speaker 03

  Stav's World?

• 5:54Stavros Halkias?

  Stav's World, yeah, yeah, yeah. You could. It would be weird.

• 5:58Speaker 03

  I didn't know that. You can really have the same name?

• 6:02Stavros Halkias?

  Who's gonna stop you?

• 6:03Speaker 04

  No, this happened.

• 6:04Speaker 03

  Lawyers?

• 6:05Speaker 04

  So Trash Tuesday used to be called Bloodbath, and then another podcast tried to sue us, and we changed it. Which we kind of regret changing it. We should have just held our ground.

• 6:14Stavros Halkias?

  I like Trash Tuesday.

• 6:14Speaker 03

  I like Trash Tuesday.

• 6:15Speaker 04

  I like it too.

• 6:16Stavros Halkias?

  I like it a little better, actually. Just, you know.

• 6:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:22Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, so, anyway, back to, let's just check in on where you are, Jordan, and then we can kind of do a regular podcast.

• 6:29Speaker 03

  Um, I mean, last time I was here, it was the day after one of the breakups. I was very, very, very resentful. Also, I was very much trying to be as edgy as possible, because that is what that particular person wanted me to be.

• 6:42Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, my God, really?

• 6:44Speaker 04

  That just explained everything.

• 6:46Stavros Halkias?

  You, like.

• 6:46Speaker 03

  Oh, he's like, very like.

• 6:48Stavros Halkias?

  What's going on with you, man?

• 6:50Speaker 03

  He's like, take the hard line.

• 6:52Stavros Halkias?

  And that's why you were doing that after getting broken up with?

• 6:55Speaker 03

  I also.

• 6:55Stavros Halkias?

  Psychologically.

• 6:57Speaker 03

  I also was, I also did not, I was not aware at that time.

• 7:01Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 7:01Speaker 03

  That you, you were the person to be like, you actually can't even refer to that word by using the word. I actually did not know that.

• 7:09Stavros Halkias?

  I really do believe you.

• 7:10Speaker 03

  I thought it was like the word [BLEEP] where you could still say.

• 7:16Speaker 04

  Calm down.

• 7:16Stavros Halkias?

  Leave that one out, so people think she made, she had a really bad slur.

• 7:22Speaker 04

  What's the context?

• 7:27Speaker 03

  I actually, and then, so that was all part of it. And I was super, I was super pissed off. I had also just been boxing. I was super angry, and I was at truly a rock bottom.

• 7:39Stavros Halkias?

  It's fine. It's fine. We know that. What's going on now?

• 7:42Speaker 03

  Oh, what's going on now? I went through another round. We broke up. We got back together.

• 7:47Stavros Halkias?

  Same guy.

• 7:47Speaker 03

  And now I'm like, have been months in, like, balls deep in SLAA.

• 7:53Stavros Halkias?

  Sex, love addiction?

• 7:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:55Stavros Halkias?

  Know what that is?

• 7:55Speaker 04

  Are you supposed to say it that way? Balls deep?

• 7:58Speaker 03

  Balls. I'm humming. I'm humming all over.

• 8:02Stavros Halkias?

  Deep throating SLAA right now.

• 8:04Speaker 03

  SLAA, if it was a huge cock, it would be.

• 8:07Stavros Halkias?

  Hall?

• 8:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:09Stavros Halkias?

  I'm gagging on the lessons from SLAA.

• 8:11Speaker 03

  SLAA is slamming my cervix.

• 8:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm sucking everybody off.

• 8:21Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting. That, so sex and love addiction, huh?

• 8:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. And that's like, completely.

• 8:25Stavros Halkias?

  It's doing it for you?

• 8:26Speaker 03

  I've like been in and out of the program and like, had millions of sponsors leave me because I relapse. And now I'm like, doing it.

• 8:34Stavros Halkias?

  But is it with this specific people, or in general? This is an interesting idea. Because I've always thought like sex addiction's fake. Like, I've always thought like, it's the kind of thing that like, a guy gets caught cheating on his wife, and he's like, it was actually.

• 8:45Speaker 03

  Right.

• 8:46Stavros Halkias?

  Geez. It was actually, I have getting pussy disease.

• 8:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:50Stavros Halkias?

  I have a terminal case of getting pussy disease. But the older I get, the more I use like affection from women as a crutch. I'm like, oh, you can use this as a drug, for sure.

• 9:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:03Stavros Halkias?

  Is, you think that's what's going on, or is it more like relationship stuff for you?

• 9:06Speaker 03

  Everything I have ever done is for the sake of having some, whoever it is, guy really, really like me. And like, like, doing stand up was because a guy was like, you should try stand up.

• 9:17Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, wow.

• 9:18Speaker 03

  I've been to jail.

• 9:19Stavros Halkias?

  A specific guy, or the general idea of the guy you want to meet someday?

• 9:23Speaker 03

  Specific, it's always a specific guy that I place as like my.

• 9:26Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting.

• 9:26Speaker 03

  My lord and savior.

• 9:28Speaker 04

  Whatever happened to just like pretending to like sports?

• 9:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 9:32Speaker 04

  Or like, say you love Lord of the Rings.

• 9:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:35Stavros Halkias?

  They've got enough pick me for Jordan. She's gotta go furbo pick me.

• 9:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:40Stavros Halkias?

  She's gotta.

• 9:41Speaker 03

  I have to end up in an orange jumpsuit, or being dragged on Twitter.

• 9:47Speaker 03

  It has to be, I gotta go the distance.

• 9:49Stavros Halkias?

  That's interesting because.

• 9:50Speaker 04

  I respect that.

• 9:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, have you ever had those problems, Esther?

• 9:55Speaker 04

  I was just like, you know, again, like, oh, I love Lord of the Rings.

• 9:59Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 10:00Speaker 04

  You know, like those kinds of things.

• 10:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:02Stavros Halkias?

  Just throwing out boy stuff to get attention.

• 10:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, I love The Dark Knight Rises. Oh, my God.

• 10:08Speaker 03

  We've talked about this and you were like able to with your partner be like, I'm setting a boundary. This is what I need or else it's over.

• 10:14Speaker 04

  Ultimatum.

• 10:15Speaker 03

  I've ultim- I have never set an ultimatum. I've tried.

• 10:18Stavros Halkias?

  You've never set a boundary.

• 10:19Speaker 03

  I've never set a boundary in my life. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 10:21Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, that's good. I'm happy for you.

• 10:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, so now I'm gonna be single for fifty.

• 10:26Speaker 04

  It's just you appear so tough and like.

• 10:29Speaker 03

  No.

• 10:29Speaker 04

  Like you look like you would set boundaries.

• 10:31Stavros Halkias?

  It's not even an act, it's costuming. It's not like, it's literally people, because she wears Carhartt khaki jackets.

• 10:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:38Stavros Halkias?

  People are like, well, she's tough, not.

• 10:40Speaker 03

  Do you know how, what a fucking ploy it is to think that you're gonna date somebody who's gonna be, you're gonna be able to wrestle with her, be like, I don't care who you fuck and then you get with me. And I'm like, is forever too long?

• 10:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 10:50Speaker 03

  Is forever a good amount of time for you?

• 10:52Speaker 04

  But you need to hide that. Like, I was like, I've heard from the West Village, like, hot girls, what they do is they like, they share all that stuff with their friends and with ChatGPT or whatever.

• 11:04Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, not, don't do that.

• 11:06Speaker 04

  Sorry, no, I know.

• 11:06Stavros Halkias?

  Don't do ChatGPT, don't ask ChatGPT.

• 11:09Speaker 03

  Watch what happens when I.

• 11:10Stavros Halkias?

  Men love you.

• 11:11Speaker 04

  No, but then don't.

• 11:12Speaker 03

  Look at this, look at this, don't read the name. I'm gonna type in the word.

• 11:14Stavros Halkias?

  God.

• 11:15Speaker 03

  I'm gonna type in the word call to ChatGPT, just the word call, C A L L. Don't read the name, just say him.

• 11:23Stavros Halkias?

  And then what does?

• 11:25Speaker 04

  No, don't call right now. The urge is the exposure. Calling is the compulsion.

• 11:31Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, yeah, never mind, you're fucked.

• 11:33Speaker 03

  I'm fucked. You're fucked.

• 11:35Speaker 04

  But I just think you.

• 11:37Stavros Halkias?

  You guys should go watch Artificial by Luca Guadnino. I was at the, I got to see it early to see what these AI cocksuckers are really doing. It's really good.

• 11:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 11:46Stavros Halkias?

  It's a really good movie, but yes, stop using ChatGPT.

• 11:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, I gotta stop.

• 11:49Stavros Halkias?

  Stop doing that.

• 11:50Speaker 04

  But like, couldn't you just pretend that you're cool and chill? And trick them?

• 11:55Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no.

• 11:56Speaker 04

  No.

• 11:56Stavros Halkias?

  She can't do that.

• 11:57Speaker 03

  I, yeah.

• 11:57Stavros Halkias?

  We're too old for pretending. Pretending is how you fucking in your twenties.

• 12:01Speaker 03

  Person would be somebody who can self-regulate.

• 12:04Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:04Speaker 03

  And go to their friends and be like, I'm having this feeling.

• 12:06Speaker 04

  I'm freaking out, I'm in love with him.

• 12:07Speaker 03

  In the moment, I'm like, I'm like, what did you mean by that? Do you think that by that you meant that you don't wanna be with me? And he's like, I literally said I want spaghetti tonight. And I'm like, yeah, but like, are you saying that because you're secretly trying to say that you don't? It's like obsessive, you're like obsessive, you're looping, you're trying to avoid abandonment at all times.

• 12:22Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 12:22Speaker 03

  Until you spin out into oblivion.

• 12:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:24Speaker 03

  And then you all of a sudden are like, I don't even know if I like this person.

• 12:28Stavros Halkias?

  Right, it's just a concept of them.

• 12:30Speaker 03

  No idea.

• 12:31Stavros Halkias?

  Well, it's the concept of, it would be incredible, in theory, to be in a relationship with someone who knows everything to do at every time, is in control, you can depend on them, like, building up someone you like.

• 12:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:45Stavros Halkias?

  And being like, well, this is the person, this is the key to my entire life.

• 12:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:48Stavros Halkias?

  That's an intoxicating idea, right? But it's obviously not true.

• 12:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:54Stavros Halkias?

  It's like a child's idea of relationships, right? It's like, the reality is like, it's gotta be a collaboration, a partnership.

• 13:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 13:01Stavros Halkias?

  You're gonna fuck up, you're gonna fuck up, whatever, whatever.

• 13:05Stavros Halkias?

  Unless, I do think there's a way to do it if you just never think about anything and you just go on pure emotion. Like, sometimes people who have never even considered therapy or like.

• 13:15Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 13:16Stavros Halkias?

  Self-reflection.

• 13:16Speaker 03

  The seventeen year olds in Omaha that get married, yeah.

• 13:19Stavros Halkias?

  And if you've, but we've opened Pandora's box and have looked inwardly. Once you do that.

• 13:24Speaker 03

  You're fucked.

• 13:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you're fucked.

• 13:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, totally.

• 13:27Stavros Halkias?

  And you just have to like actually, you know, I don't know, but, uh, you know.

• 13:31Speaker 04

  Sometimes I like to, I would like start a fight just because I was like in the mood to perform.

• 13:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 13:36Speaker 04

  Like, I'm like bored and want to feel drama.

• 13:39Speaker 03

  Of course.

• 13:40Speaker 04

  Like, that's.

• 13:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, I wanna put on my little play.

• 13:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's a play, it's a monologue.

• 13:45Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting, interesting. And how would that be received?

• 13:48Speaker 04

  Well, once I finally met a healthy partner and did the like, the first time I was like, well, maybe we should just break up. And then he was like, okay. And then I was like, no, wait, I'll be homeless.

• 14:00Speaker 04

  And I never did that again.

• 14:01Stavros Halkias?

  That's so funny. You're like, no, no, this is play acting.

• 14:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 14:06Stavros Halkias?

  It's like in certain cultures, like, you're not allowed, like when people fight for the bill.

• 14:10Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 14:10Stavros Halkias?

  But they have no intention of playing. You're like, no, I don't really wanna break up. I want you to like see me reach for my wallet. You know what I mean? Like, I never meant it. That's, yeah, getting called on a bluff is really brutal.

• 14:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, that taught me quickly to never do that again.

• 14:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 14:25Speaker 04

  Is that, were you in, were you playing those games?

• 14:28Speaker 03

  I mean, I think realistically, once every other day, I was being like, well, maybe we should just break up.

• 14:33Speaker 04

  And what would he say?

• 14:34Speaker 03

  A hun- I've been saying this for weeks.

• 14:37Stavros Halkias?

  He's like, I know, you won't leave my house.

• 14:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, I've been trying and trying. He called me Al Pacino from Glengarry Glen Ross, because he was like, every time I try and break up with you, you do this whole thing where you're like, sit down, let's talk. Have a seat, have a seat, have a seat, have a seat. What are we doing here?

• 14:55Stavros Halkias?

  Well, I think it's good to be sort of aware of your.

• 14:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 14:59Stavros Halkias?

  Issues for the first time in your life and work on them.

• 15:01Speaker 03

  It just must. I mean, therapy doesn't do shit. I just was like, I need somebody who I can literally text every second and be like, I'm doing the thing, I'm doing the thing. And I didn't realize how much, I mean, I always have some motherfucker in the way.

• 15:14Stavros Halkias?

  Therapy does something.

• 15:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 15:16Stavros Halkias?

  I think you're completely wrong.

• 15:17Speaker 03

  It does, yes. It really does do something. It does, but for an addiction, it does, you can't go to a therapist and be like, I'm thinking, I'm thinking that there's something in me that needs to stop drinking. It's like, you have to have, you have to do some program. If I, I, this has been five years of going back to the same dude. It's psychotic.

• 15:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 15:35Speaker 03

  And it was like, so now I have this.

• 15:36Stavros Halkias?

  And it's working for you. You're balls deep in SLAA.

• 15:39Speaker 03

  I'm balls.

• 15:39Stavros Halkias?

  You're single? You've been single for a while?

• 15:42Speaker 03

  Since August.

• 15:43Stavros Halkias?

  Cool. That's good, that's pretty good. You can keep it going. Now, and now.

• 15:47Speaker 03

  I haven't even jerked off since August.

• 15:49Stavros Halkias?

  You haven't jerked off?

• 15:50Speaker 03

  No porn, no jerking off, no.

• 15:51Stavros Halkias?

  Are you celibate? Have you also not had sex or you've had, hooked up with random people?

• 15:55Speaker 03

  No, no hooking up.

• 15:55Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, so you're monk mode for real.

• 15:57Speaker 03

  I'm monk mode, yeah.

• 15:58Stavros Halkias?

  So, oh, this is fascinating. Not even beating off?

• 16:01Speaker 03

  No beating off.

• 16:02Speaker 04

  Why not?

• 16:03Speaker 03

  Because then, every time you do that, it like reinitiates thoughts about having sex or finding somebody or that you're lonely or that you should be, da, da, da, da, da.

• 16:13Stavros Halkias?

  Hold on, though. This, is this the teachings of the SLAA or are you doing this yourself?

• 16:17Speaker 03

  You decide what your thing is. So every time I jerk off, I'm like.

• 16:22Stavros Halkias?

  You whip, you take a fucking.

• 16:24Speaker 03

  I take my.

• 16:24Stavros Halkias?

  Change and you whip your back.

• 16:26Speaker 03

  I hate you so much. I loop up like this.

• 16:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. You spray rubbing alcohol on your pussy right afterwards, you're like, bad, bad, yeah.

• 16:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Me beating off is me literally beating it off.

• 16:41Stavros Halkias?

  I will, look, I'm not a doctor. I think you need to slowly start folding jerking off back into the.

• 16:46Speaker 03

  Of course.

• 16:47Stavros Halkias?

  The back.

• 16:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's all, you have a whole plan of how to be a, yeah.

• 16:51Stavros Halkias?

  Because this to me sounds like.

• 16:52Speaker 03

  Sexual anorexia is what they call it. And they will not let you do that. My sponsor.

• 16:56Stavros Halkias?

  That's what I was gonna say. That's dangerous. You can't go completely cold turkey on something.

• 17:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 17:00Stavros Halkias?

  You're just gonna relapse harder if you do that eventually.

• 17:02Speaker 03

  No, and it's very much like in the program, you, once you get to a certain amount of steps, then you start thinking about what you're comfortable with, you have a dating plan, da, da, da, da.

• 17:10Stavros Halkias?

  Cool.

• 17:10Speaker 03

  It's, it's rules.

• 17:11Stavros Halkias?

  Now, let me ask you this, and, you know, again, it's anonymous, you don't have to say anything. I, it's all the fun, the like, the scumbag guys have always been like, you know, like the jokes been like, you should go to a sex addiction meeting to get pussy, you know? And to me, it seems like the saddest.

• 17:29Speaker 03

  Oh, my God.

• 17:29Stavros Halkias?

  It's gotta be so sad in there, right?

• 17:31Speaker 03

  It's so funny whenever I go to a co-meeting with, because usually I just go to women's meetings because it's weird, because honestly, it's disgusting what men say.

• 17:40Speaker 04

  Really?

• 17:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's like so depressing.

• 17:43Speaker 04

  Tell us.

• 17:44Speaker 03

  It's like.

• 17:45Speaker 04

  Tell us what they say.

• 17:46Stavros Halkias?

  In general terms, don't say their names, obviously, these people are in recovery.

• 17:50Speaker 04

  Don't say which comedians it is.

• 17:51Speaker 03

  Women are being like, he left me on red and like, I just feel like I need to block him and like I need to move on and be able to drop it. And then with men, with men, it's like, I, it's like, I saw the corner of an image on a magazine where there might have been something that looked like a titty.

• 18:10Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 18:10Speaker 03

  And now I've been jerking off furiously, I've been pulling my dick off until it's, it's like, and you see like, that men are just these retarded chimps.

• 18:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's like, yeah, you know, it was my daughter's birthday, but I actually, I drove past a woman's lingerie boutique.

• 18:28Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 18:28Stavros Halkias?

  And I actually then took out all the money from her college fund to have sex with high-end prostitutes.

• 18:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 18:34Stavros Halkias?

  For weeks. It's stuff like that.

• 18:35Speaker 03

  It's, it's stuff like that, and it's also just stuff like, I sneezed and it reminded me of sex and now I can't, like, you guys are so compulsive with the actual coming.

• 18:47Stavros Halkias?

  True, true.

• 18:47Speaker 03

  And we're so compulsive with love and those two things, seeing them, seeing one woman be like, I just want an emotional connection, and men being like, I just wanna come. You're so like, these should be.

• 18:57Stavros Halkias?

  Place to unload.

• 18:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, totally. And then almost it's worse when you do get a guy who's like, I just wish that she would call me back. Then you're like, this is even.

• 19:06Stavros Halkias?

  You're like, pussy?

• 19:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're like, this is scary.

• 19:09Stavros Halkias?

  Go get addicted to actual sex. What are you, fucking gay dude?

• 19:13Speaker 03

  But yeah, it's, it's rare for there to be coed meetings. I mean, if you go to a coed meeting, yeah, totally.

• 19:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, to me, that does sound like. It does sound crazy to have, to have coed sex meetings. It's like, cause it's just what you, like, yeah. How would a guy who's addicted to fucking hear a woman, you know, recount a time? I mean, I guess we literally did this on tires, I'm realizing. I literally, we played that joke out.

• 19:39Speaker 03

  You're not allowed to also like, in the meetings I go to, you're not really allowed to like intimately describe sex. That's like a boundary they set.

• 19:46Speaker 04

  So I used to go, I used to go to OA, Overeaters Anonymous, um, flex. But um, I had to stop going because I would get triggered if someone would be like, oh, I pulled over and ate three blueberry pies. And I would be like thinking about, yeah. And so I was like, this is not, I know. I was like, this isn't helpful.

• 20:04Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, I could not go to Overeaters Anonymous.

• 20:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:06Stavros Halkias?

  I would be fucking, I would be getting a big ass pizza every time. Like, I can't, I'm really thinking about, cause I'm trying to read, you know, I'm blah, blah, blah. This is the story of my, the way your sex addiction issues, my food addiction is, there's the hamster wheel I'm running on. And, and all the relationship, I mean, also relationship stuff, but let's fix my body first.

• 20:26Speaker 03

  Why aren't you doing GLP one?

• 20:28Stavros Halkias?

  I am.

• 20:29Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 20:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. And it stopped me, stopped me from getting much fatter. I've lost like four pounds in like, uh, this year, cause I was so, I was pushing it to, with the world's most sophisticated weight loss drugs. I've lost four pounds a year.

• 20:46Speaker 03

  Wait, wait. Okay.

• 20:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, go ahead. Go ahead.

• 20:51Speaker 03

  So.

• 20:51Stavros Halkias?

  No, go ahead.

• 20:52Speaker 04

  Wait, it's so funny in your special when you're like, I lost 70 pounds, but this is how I look. So it's so funny.

• 20:58Stavros Halkias?

  No, it's like, I had to lose 70 pounds to, I say, again, it's my act, but to wear three X.

• 21:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 21:04Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucked up, dude. And, and, and I'm, I was, you know, after the special got filmed, I think there was like a a weight lifted, like a psychological weight was lifted off me. I felt so good. And I weirdly dropped like 10 pounds immediately. Like, and I was like, whoa, this is awesome. And then I realized like, oh, fuck, I have to promote this. We have to finish the edit. And because I broke my arm, we had to edit the whole thing in like six weeks, do the promo stuff in six weeks. So, once I realized like, oh, wait, fuck, I have so much work to do. I got really fucking depressed this last month and just pushed the GLP ones to the limit.

• 21:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 21:39Stavros Halkias?

  And like, I've, I have broken, you're hopefully seeing me right now at the fattest I'll be. Fingers crossed, folks. After this, you're gonna see the next batch of episodes, I'm gonna be slightly less fat. But yeah, I'm, I'm.

• 21:51Speaker 03

  The depression is coming. You feel too much stress.

• 21:54Stavros Halkias?

  I've been, yes. This, the last couple of months have been very stressful.

• 21:58Speaker 03

  Of because you've had too much on your plate?

• 22:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 22:01Speaker 03

  I mean, literally.

• 22:01Stavros Halkias?

  We've been, yeah, yeah, yeah. Both. Too much on my plate. Yep, yep. Exactly right. How are we gonna finish this? Just putting, I mean, if you saw my fucking like DoorDash history this month, it's brutal.

• 22:14Speaker 03

  Girl, same.

• 22:14Stavros Halkias?

  I should have to, honestly, I should have to start matching every DoorDash order to a charity. That's what I'm gonna start doing. Let's start doing that, Eldis. I am going to ma, every time, and, and actually then I'm gonna start saying, well, now I'm helping people. You know, that's wrong. I have to start like donating to like the fucking like.

• 22:31Speaker 03

  I tried. I was like, I'm gonna donate.

• 22:33Stavros Halkias?

  I have to be like, every time I order DoorDash, I have to give money to IDF. I'm gonna have to do stuff like that.

• 22:38Speaker 03

  No, just choose a friend you don't like very much. That's what I have to do.

• 22:43Stavros Halkias?

  And I have to give them like great days. I have to like send them money.

• 22:46Speaker 03

  I had a friend where I was like, every time I reach out to him, I'm going to send this person $200.

• 22:50Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, wow.

• 22:51Speaker 03

  And it didn't help.

• 22:52Stavros Halkias?

  What you're describing is either an enemy or a, uh, an ex.

• 22:56Speaker 03

  It has to be like, it has to be like a friend.

• 22:58Stavros Halkias?

  What do you mean a friend you don't like? That's not a friend. That's not what a friend is.

• 23:01Speaker 03

  A friend that you're like, yeah, well, for women, we have those. We have a lot of them.

• 23:08Stavros Halkias?

  All right, man. Let's stick with the sex stuff before we get into this. This is.

• 23:12Speaker 03

  You have friends you don't like.

• 23:14Stavros Halkias?

  Not really.

• 23:15Speaker 03

  You don't have friends, you don't have friends that you're like, I love them, but I don't want, if they, them having my money pisses me off.

• 23:21Stavros Halkias?

  No, I don't get.

• 23:23Speaker 03

  You're just like, I want that friend to have it. You don't have any friend that you're like, I know they're gonna use it for something.

• 23:27Stavros Halkias?

  Well, I'm sorry, I'm confused about the context here.

• 23:29Speaker 03

  Okay, fine. Send it to me.

• 23:31Stavros Halkias?

  I like you, though.

• 23:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, but you know I'm gonna do some bullshit with it that annoys you. I'm gonna buy her a nice harness.

• 23:38Stavros Halkias?

  This episode is sponsored by BlueChew. Have you ever seen a BlueChew wrapper on the street? Now that's a walk of fame. BlueChew Gold is better sex in a tablet, my friend. They combine four ingredients into one powerful solution. I'm not supposed to explicitly say what it does, but zip.

• 24:00Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I'm saying? Put some heft to that thang. Two ingredients get you hard physically and two support arousal and desire in the brain. Some say the, the biggest erogenous zone is the brain. Not for our listeners. So either way, this will help you get going. Bricked in the brain, bricked in the body, it works fast and last. Guys have a complete experience in the bedroom with BlueChew Gold. There's a reason BlueChew is the number one brand for better sex. Experience it yourself at bluechew.com. And we've got a special deal for our listeners right now. When you buy two months of BlueChew Gold, you get the third free with promo code STAVY, S-T-A-V-Y. That's promo code STAVY.

• 24:41Stavros Halkias?

  You will receive an additional 10% off plus free overnight shipping on your first order. That is coming to you overnight. So you can visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. This episode is brought to you by Visible. The smartest upgrade this season isn't a new phone, it's a better wireless plan. Switch to Visible, the ultimate wireless hack. You get unlimited 5G data and unlimited hotspot powered by Verizon. We have Visible here at Stavvy Baby Enterprises. We love it. We just got a new assistant. She loves it. She's taking all our sushi orders. They're going through the Visible network brought to you by Verizon. It's fast, it's reliable, it's so sick. They sponsor the Stavvy's World hotline, as you know,

• 25:22Stavros Halkias?

  and make it possible for us to help all our callers out. Oh my God, they're the best. Switch today at visible.com. The Visible plan starts at $25 a month. Or get the premium Visible Plus Pro plan and save $10 on your first month with promo code STAV. Terms apply. I think that's not, that's.

• 25:41Speaker 04

  Wait, can we just, for food talk for one second?

• 25:44Stavros Halkias?

  Of course. Yeah. Jordan's hogged the podcast.

• 25:47Speaker 04

  No, no, no, no.

• 25:47Stavros Halkias?

  Hey, let's get, let's get to your issues.

• 25:49Speaker 04

  No, no. Doesn't it bother you like when you order delivery that it's, it's so, it's not like hot and fresh?

• 25:58Speaker 04

  And like.

• 25:59Stavros Halkias?

  Hell, yeah. That's the, the best part about you, Esther, is like, no one would understand that we actually are so aligned with food stuff.

• 26:05Speaker 04

  I know.

• 26:06Stavros Halkias?

  You're a tiny cute woman and still, and you're still like actually like a real piece of shit, a real fat piece of shit in your heart.

• 26:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, like, it's just, if I'm gonna like, that's gonna be my meal. It needs to be, I don't know, so.

• 26:18Stavros Halkias?

  Well, there is something to, that's why I like to pick up, especially in New York. Planning it so that you like know, like the restaurants nearby, you're picking up along the way.

• 26:28Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 26:28Stavros Halkias?

  You have it. That's nice. And then also like, yeah, I mean, this may be more of an LA problem.

• 26:32Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 26:33Speaker 03

  Well, also, I don't think that you're accounting for the fact, he's probably ordering so much.

• 26:39Speaker 04

  That stays hot?

• 26:40Speaker 03

  Even if you just eat the inside.

• 26:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. They're bringing, they're bringing it in a catering tray. So actually, what happens is, I come home and there's like three African guys with like those aluminum trays with like the little candles. And they're like, happy to see you, Mr. Halkias. Today it's mac and cheese and brisket. And I'm like, ah, very good, Pierre. It's never a real problem for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, George is right. I, I order the, I, I order like, you know, when you go to a burger restaurant, they have the, the challenge to put you on the wall? I order that through takeout. Where I'm like, hey, you don't need to take my Polaroid, just give me the 10 pound burger. I'll cut the middle, I'll just cut the middle. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 27:17Speaker 03

  Yeah. It's like when you ball out with one of your other buddies and you're like, what if we just went crazy alone every night?

• 27:24Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, legitimately. And in fact, even when the GLP one was working, I had a, I had a period where I would like order like, you know, a hundred dollars of Chinese food and take like, like four, like three bites of each one and be done. And that was weird because I was losing weight, but I was just like being so wasteful. And it was just like this, it was a psychological ritual thing where I was just like, I like getting high, ordering this. And when, you know, I wasn't, I think when I'm very stressed and also I've been going down, like the dose, I have to go up on the, the max dose. I have, I've been like not going up recently. Like, I can overcome them very easily. And so, but there was a weird.

• 28:07Speaker 03

  What does it feel like? Because it's like, it, it makes the food noise. I'm so sick of hearing that. Women being like, it just stops the food noise. I'm like, who I am is food noise. All my thoughts are what I'm gonna eat next. Without that, I might be a pedophile.

• 28:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. We haven't even, yeah. If it wasn't for all the, the like, uh, disruption.

• 28:26Speaker 03

  I might kill people.

• 28:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 28:28Speaker 03

  If it wasn't just like.

• 28:29Stavros Halkias?

  I wasn't thinking about lasagna. I might be thinking about.

• 28:35Speaker 03

  I don't know what people think about.

• 28:35Stavros Halkias?

  Cut that out of the pod, me saying that out of the podcast.

• 28:38Speaker 03

  You can keep mine.

• 28:40Stavros Halkias?

  I don't want people having that soundbite.

• 28:45Stavros Halkias?

  You can believe it.

• 28:46Speaker 03

  I don't know who I would be. And sometimes I get excited about it because even when I'm not eating, like when I'm trying to watch my weight, I'm so excited about how far I can push it. So then when I do eat.

• 28:55Speaker 04

  Okay, so this is eating disorder behavior?

• 28:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, you have five things. We'll start with SLA and then it's like, I mean, yes.

• 29:02Speaker 03

  What is the point of living if it isn't to push yourself to the edge and then go, oh, ah. You know what I mean? It's the most fun thing.

• 29:09Speaker 04

  Are you still off sugar?

• 29:11Speaker 03

  I can't do sugar. I can't do sugar. I can't do it.

• 29:13Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, you don't eat sugar?

• 29:15Speaker 03

  I don't eat any sugar. I can't do it. It was too crazy.

• 29:18Stavros Halkias?

  That's a level of like self-control that's fascinating for you to have. Cause you have no self-control anywhere else.

• 29:24Speaker 03

  It's like, it's like, uh, it took forever to stop.

• 29:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, of course.

• 29:29Speaker 03

  And now that it's stopped, I'm so scared to start again that I almost have OCD about it when I'll go.

• 29:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, so you, the only way for you to be healthy is to, to actually move it into a different type of unhealthy.

• 29:39Speaker 03

  Right.

• 29:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, a different, yeah, yeah.

• 29:40Speaker 04

  Lack in weight, all or nothing.

• 29:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 29:42Speaker 03

  True shame if I do it.

• 29:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 29:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 29:45Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, I think like, the point of, I see what you're saying. I think the point of life is to just live, be as happy as you can, live an even keeled time.

• 29:53Speaker 03

  Oh, God.

• 29:54Stavros Halkias?

  Create real connections and meaningful things, not be led by your various addictions to destruction.

• 29:59Speaker 03

  You don't think it's so fun to just go two days where you're hardly doing anything and then you just eat two cheeseburgers in a row?

• 30:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, well, first of all, you think I need two days of fasting to eat two cheeseburgers in a row?

• 30:11Speaker 03

  I just love it.

• 30:13Stavros Halkias?

  In my most fucked up, what I love doing is, is, especially when you're on the road and it's like, stay up late as fuck, eat like a fucking animal, try and have sex with a stranger, whatever, do drugs, go to bed around like three, pass the fuck out, feel horrible in the morning.

• 30:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:29Stavros Halkias?

  Horrible, right? It's a fucking emergency. I'm like, Elders, go get me a fucking green juice. I'm gonna kill myself. Like, I get, I take a cold shower, I feel like shit. I force myself onto an elliptical for like, get the hangover out for 20 minutes. Nothing crazy, just get a little sweat going. Sleep, sleep until.

• 30:49Speaker 03

  4:00 PM.

• 30:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I'm not, I haven't eaten anything because I had such a big meal at, at 2:00, I had so much fried chicken at 2:00 AM that I, you know what, I'm not hungry. Have a, have a sensible meal, a pre-show, right?

• 31:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:02Stavros Halkias?

  Whatever, but sleep until 7:00, whatever. Have literally something healthy, like a salad and some chicken, whatever.

• 31:10Stavros Halkias?

  Wake up feeling awesome because I've slept all day. I've been sort of healthy. Get a coffee at 7:00, so I'm guaranteed to be up till whatever.

• 31:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:20Stavros Halkias?

  You do the show and now you've got the momentum of like the energy of a, of a good show.

• 31:24Speaker 03

  I have to do drugs and fuck.

• 31:25Stavros Halkias?

  And yeah, exactly. And it's, now it's midnight.

• 31:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:28Stavros Halkias?

  I feel the best I've ever felt in my life.

• 31:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 31:32Stavros Halkias?

  And a girl with a lip ring is DMing me.

• 31:34Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 31:35Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? What do you think I'm doing? You think I'm not getting an Uber and a different, you don't think I'm tracking both DoorDash and the Uber to see when my two vices come to my hotel room?

• 31:46Speaker 03

  Cause you have to eat half of it before you fuck.

• 31:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, no, it's post. I can't eat the, the, the, I can't eat that and then fuck.

• 31:54Speaker 04

  Really?

• 31:55Stavros Halkias?

  I gotta be, it's gotta be after.

• 31:56Speaker 03

  I need a little. I'm gonna need a little.

• 31:57Stavros Halkias?

  You need a little taste?

• 31:58Speaker 03

  For stamina, yeah.

• 31:59Speaker 04

  I like.

• 31:59Stavros Halkias?

  For stamina?

• 32:00Speaker 03

  Or else I'm not gonna enjoy the sex. I'm gonna be thinking about the Chinese food.

• 32:02Stavros Halkias?

  No, the Chinese was dessert!

• 32:04Speaker 04

  No, no, no.

• 32:06Stavros Halkias?

  But I'm gonna be like, hurry up, hurry up, hurry up.

• 32:07Speaker 04

  Like, when you eat like a greasy cheeseburger and a milkshake, then I'm like, oh, I feel so disgusting. Like, that's when you wanna have sex.

• 32:14Speaker 03

  Work it off.

• 32:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, no, you're like, I'm already a filthy, disgusting.

• 32:21Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, I like this.

• 32:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:22Stavros Halkias?

  Listen, I think there's ways to negotiate both of these, uh, you know, modalities of thought, right?

• 32:27Speaker 03

  But we don't have to perform as things. He wants to perform well. We're like, I want.

• 32:31Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 32:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 32:32Stavros Halkias?

  It's about my, yeah.

• 32:33Speaker 03

  I want you to hurt my feelings.

• 32:34Stavros Halkias?

  My dick is all, already not great.

• 32:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:36Stavros Halkias?

  So if I'm, if I'm throwing a cheeseburger at it right, right before, that's tough. You don't need that. I don't need to slow my blood down as it's going to my soft dick. You know what I mean? I need, I need, I need to put boosters on my blood, not fucking pork fat right before I'm about to get sucked off.

• 32:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, that makes sense.

• 32:56Stavros Halkias?

  But listen, if you don't think at my absolute worst.

• 32:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:59Stavros Halkias?

  I was ha, I mean, the most I hooked up with girls was when I was the fattest and most impotent in my life.

• 33:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:06Stavros Halkias?

  Cause it was the most addicted to everything I was. So, you know, I would just fucking just like.

• 33:11Speaker 03

  So now what do you do?

• 33:13Stavros Halkias?

  Honestly, this tour's been kinda tame, right, Elders? Like, you can, even you can attest to this. It's like.

• 33:18Speaker 05

  You've, you've been like too sick to even think about fucking for like so much of it.

• 33:21Speaker 04

  Because nausea from the J O B ones?

• 33:23Stavros Halkias?

  No, just like, uh, I pushed my, my horrible body to the limit this year and it was like, if it wasn't my back, it was my, you know, I was getting, I was getting strep throat every other fucking time.

• 33:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:35Stavros Halkias?

  And then I would fuck and because I have a bad back, there was one time, it's like, I, I, listen, I did too good a job. What can I say? I care about women's pleasure. And, uh, also very fat and my, thank you, Elders. And the exact motion I probably shouldn't be doing is fucking.

• 33:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:52Stavros Halkias?

  Because of my, I think I have an L5S1 problem. I don't know what it is.

• 33:56Speaker 03

  I know exactly what it is.

• 33:57Stavros Halkias?

  And I have a nerve impingement. Anyway, so I would be, and actually, every time I've, like,

• 34:06Stavros Halkias?

  I, I actually got hurt or sick every time I hooked up this year on the road. And I think that was God sending a message to me to go monk mode. I'm considering going monk mode.

• 34:17Speaker 03

  I have not gotten sick since.

• 34:20Stavros Halkias?

  That's interesting.

• 34:20Speaker 03

  Not, and I was sick every fucking weekend. I was so sick. I was downing fucking Dayquil to go on stage.

• 34:28Speaker 04

  You think masturbating was making you sick?

• 34:30Speaker 03

  No, I think, I mean, I think the bad relationships, broken up with every day.

• 34:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:35Speaker 03

  And let me say, monk mode for me is also sicko mode. Like, I stay up till 4:00 AM painting and being insane and drawing and writing.

• 34:43Stavros Halkias?

  That's good.

• 34:44Speaker 03

  And then I sleep till 1:00. It's great.

• 34:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 34:45Speaker 03

  But I'm not, and I do eat a lot of popcorn during that time.

• 34:48Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, nothing wrong with that.

• 34:49Speaker 03

  But there's no, nothing on it because I still have the ED thing.

• 34:52Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 34:53Speaker 03

  So I'm being a crazy.

• 34:54Stavros Halkias?

  Listen, I know about popcorn.

• 34:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 34:56Stavros Halkias?

  Pretending it's healthy.

• 34:57Speaker 04

  Well, you can go so high volume.

• 34:59Stavros Halkias?

  Better than chips.

• 35:00Speaker 03

  You can go so high volume!

• 35:01Stavros Halkias?

  But also, but if you really do the math, it's not that good.

• 35:05Speaker 03

  No, if you make it at home. If you make it, no, it's not good for you at all. There's something wrong with my bowel.

• 35:09Stavros Halkias?

  Who are you talking to?

• 35:10Speaker 03

  Okay, okay, you understand.

• 35:11Stavros Halkias?

  I have done this exa, we all have ED disorders.

• 35:13Speaker 03

  We all have my fitness pad.

• 35:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it, yeah.

• 35:18Speaker 03

  But being a monk doesn't mean all of a sudden turning into a girl who holds her cups like this. You know what I mean? Like, it doesn't, you still can't say.

• 35:25Stavros Halkias?

  You have this problem too, though, of like.

• 35:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:27Stavros Halkias?

  Your relationship with femininity and womanhood is like, no, no, I don't think you're a lesbian. I don't think you're trans. I just think like you have, or non-binary or anything like that.

• 35:34Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 35:35Stavros Halkias?

  But you do have, you have issues with like, you know, and I get them, right?

• 35:40Speaker 03

  Being a dumb.

• 35:40Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no, no. You, I don't know. You just have like this wee, I guess it's a pick me thing.

• 35:44Speaker 04

  Well, I called her girly and she like.

• 35:47Speaker 03

  Fortunately, the ultimate pick me and it's disturbing.

• 35:51Stavros Halkias?

  But you, it's interesting you say that it's, it's like guy dependent because that makes sense to me now in hindsight. Cause I do feel like you've been like four different people the amount of time we've been friends. And I think when you were, like, I think when we first met and you probably were single, like you were, you had like a zest for life.

• 36:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:07Stavros Halkias?

  That was gone for years.

• 36:08Speaker 03

  No, the last five years has been horrific.

• 36:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 36:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. It's so crazy. Dude, I was like.

• 36:15Speaker 04

  Because a guy like took it away from you?

• 36:17Speaker 03

  It's been five years of literally like torture that you would give somebody.

• 36:21Speaker 04

  This is like, I, I have like several friends where the same thing, like they had a zest for life and then they fall into it with some guy.

• 36:27Speaker 03

  Just imagine somebody being like, I love you so much, I'm sorry. And the next day being like, I don't wanna be with you. And you're like, okay. And they're like, I'm so sorry I said that. It's, it is psychological warfare. It was insane.

• 36:36Stavros Halkias?

  What you do is leave the second time they do that. You're like, oh, they're out of their mind. I have to go.

• 36:41Speaker 03

  I know.

• 36:41Stavros Halkias?

  But you know that now?

• 36:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know that.

• 36:42Stavros Halkias?

  And you're older and wiser now. It's fine?

• 36:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:45Stavros Halkias?

  That's good. I'm, I'm happy for you. Um, you know, you've, and it's very, it's interesting that, this is a nice, the, the symmetry on this podcast is good because I think we're kind of aligned and then we have two people here. Esther, since you, last time you were here, you've had not one but two kids.

• 37:00Speaker 04

  Yes, I did have two children.

• 37:02Stavros Halkias?

  Which is awesome. That's, and Elders, you dad too.

• 37:04Speaker 04

  Oh, my goodness.

• 37:04Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 37:05Stavros Halkias?

  So these two have their lives figured out and me and you are kinda, you know, fucked in many ways. Emotionally, psychologically, physically in my case, maybe yours too. I don't know what you're up against.

• 37:15Speaker 03

  I'm okay.

• 37:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you're okay.

• 37:17Speaker 03

  Under here?

• 37:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've been boxing and shit?

• 37:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:20Stavros Halkias?

  You actually have been good about your health, I think.

• 37:23Speaker 03

  I've been good about my health.

• 37:24Stavros Halkias?

  Physical.

• 37:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 37:25Stavros Halkias?

  Physical. Let's, let's make an asterisk.

• 37:27Speaker 03

  But also.

• 37:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, but other things go, the problem with me and you is the worse shit gets, better shit, good shit still happens.

• 37:37Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right. Life rewards you while, because these two things, people really think like career and life are intertwined. They're actually completely separate things.

• 37:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:45Stavros Halkias?

  And that like, the worse your life is, the better, and especially, and then it feeds into it where you're like, I know this will harm my life, but will give me a, you know, will help my career and it's like,

• 37:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:56Stavros Halkias?

  That's when you have to, that's what I gotta work on, is my, that's my addict, my current addiction, I have to, I mean, a lot of them, but. Ah, November, what a month. The whole, everything you've been doing all year comes to roost. You're coming right into the holidays, it's getting cold. Why not have a little questionable, little treat in between lunch and dinner? Why not overstuffed the calendar with fun, with family obligations, holiday parties, so much chaos going on? That's where AG1 earns its spot. Not when life is easy and you got time for a whole routine, right now, when everything is full and something has to give.

• 38:34Stavros Halkias?

  One scoop covers what a full stack of separate supplements would. Seventy-five plus ingredients, vitamins, minerals, adaptogens, pre and the probiotics, superfoods, no cabinet full of bottles, no figuring out what to take and when. And with their new AG1 Pro, you get the same daily drink now with a performance and recovery layer built in. I'm a first thing in the morning guy. I start my day with that beautiful AG1, puts a little pep in my step. You know I'm back on my health journey and it's going beautiful. For a limited time, visit drinkag1.com/stavi and get a free immune support bundle, including omega-3 fish oil and vitamin D3 plus K2 with your first subscription of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro.

• 39:19Stavros Halkias?

  That's drinkag1.com/stavi.

• 39:23Speaker 01

  Smaller than ever, more powerful, more accurate. Meet Pod 6, an intelligent mattress cover that transforms your existing bed. It cools and heats each side from 55 degrees to 110 degrees. Shop now at 8sleep.com.

• 39:38Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, but anyway, who gives a fuck about us? I want to talk about Esther's children.

• 39:42Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 39:42Stavros Halkias?

  Or just like, what it's like.

• 39:43Speaker 04

  Just the place for that.

• 39:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or just like, or just, or just like, do you have any advice for our new dad?

• 39:49Speaker 04

  What, how old is your baby?

• 39:50Speaker 05

  Uh, three weeks now.

• 39:52Speaker 04

  Oh my gosh, you should not be here.

• 39:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, I know. I was like, hey man, we can cover. He's like, I got it.

• 39:59Speaker 03

  Get me the fuck.

• 40:00Stavros Halkias?

  We literally hired like two assistant editors, be like, yeah, well, we're not gonna have Eldis for months. He's like, yeah, my wife's got it.

• 40:06Speaker 05

  Ah, she's got it under control, it's all good.

• 40:10Stavros Halkias?

  I was fully prepared to not see Eldis here until like next year and he's like, ah, fuck it.

• 40:15Speaker 05

  I'm addicted to podcasting.

• 40:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Eldis's addiction is podcast producing. He's ignoring his son to podcast.

• 40:22Speaker 03

  His addiction is that one little button.

• 40:24Speaker 04

  No, you want your partner there. You want the help. Yeah, you want help for sure.

• 40:29Stavros Halkias?

  Unless he's Eldis. It's like, you know what? Yeah, his wife's like, ah, why don't you go do the podcast?

• 40:39Stavros Halkias?

  The baby's the man, but yes, how, what's, any advice for our new, uh?

• 40:43Speaker 03

  Boy?

• 40:43Speaker 05

  It's a boy.

• 40:44Speaker 04

  Oh, I had a boy too. I didn't want a boy, but now.

• 40:49Speaker 05

  You know what? I kind of wanted like a girl by a little bit. I didn't really care, but I was like, a girl would be cool, but he's awesome.

• 40:56Stavros Halkias?

  He's the man. But it would have been cool, we, there's no little girl, I mean, I guess you, you have nieces, but like,

• 41:01Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 41:01Stavros Halkias?

  Our whole crew, everyone, it's boys all over the place.

• 41:05Speaker 04

  Did you circumcise?

• 41:06Speaker 05

  Hell no.

• 41:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

• 41:09Speaker 04

  No, we didn't either.

• 41:09Stavros Halkias?

  Thank you so much.

• 41:10Speaker 04

  It wasn't my preference.

• 41:11Stavros Halkias?

  Thank you.

• 41:13Speaker 04

  As I stay on stage, I won't be hooking up with him, so I don't care.

• 41:18Speaker 05

  Whenever they asked me at the hospital, I would just give the sternus like, no.

• 41:24Speaker 05

  Just a very short no.

• 41:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 41:26Speaker 03

  Are you uncircumcised?

• 41:28Stavros Halkias?

  Come on, girl.

• 41:29Speaker 03

  Uncircumcised?

• 41:29Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 41:30Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 41:31Speaker 04

  I wanted to, and then once I met him, I was like, I'm not doing this.

• 41:35Stavros Halkias?

  When you met the baby?

• 41:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, I was like, we're not, I'm not cutting you off.

• 41:38Speaker 03

  I was in the hospital with my friend who had a new baby and they're like, we're gonna take him to get circumcised and like my monkey brain just grabbed the thing and was like, are you sure?

• 41:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 41:45Speaker 03

  And my friend was like, yeah. And I was like, what, how is, how are you okay with this?

• 41:48Stavros Halkias?

  You're gonna welcome your child into the world by slicing their cock up?

• 41:54Speaker 03

  And then it comes back with a little bandage wrap? It's brutal.

• 41:57Stavros Halkias?

  Their first, their third day on earth is marked with excruciating pain. And that's, by the way, a third of their life.

• 42:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. That's the equivalent of me having a cut penis for nine years.

• 42:15Stavros Halkias?

  Wait, way more.

• 42:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:17Stavros Halkias?

  I'm so bad at math. Three times, twenty seven?

• 42:20Speaker 05

  Ten, ten, three years or something.

• 42:24Speaker 04

  Do you feel like, do you feel like you want kids?

• 42:28Stavros Halkias?

  Probab, well, you know, I used to be like, I used to be kind of like, push comes to shove, I'll probably have kids. But then like, honestly, weirdly, the people closest to me having kids, like Eldis, my brother, uh, our, our, our other, our other best friend that we moved into our story apartment with together, Christina, there, there's, there's like right now four babies in my life that I really care about.

• 42:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:52Stavros Halkias?

  And I'm like, I think this might be enough for me. Like, because I do think there's something to being a real, cause like, I think immigrants in particular, an uncle is not an American uncle. Like, American uncles are like a guy you see at a barbecue four times a year. With immigrants, it's like, your uncles are every, like, your aunt and uncle's like, they're there, I'm gonna see Eldis's kid all the time. I go, I've instituted a rule where I have to go to Baltimore once a month to see my nephew. And you know what? I ran up against it scheduling wise, where it was kind of annoying to do the last couple of months, but I was like, this is as important. If I'm gonna do, if I'm gonna like, move things around for work, I have to move things around for my nephew. And so, I think if I keep that level of,

• 43:33Stavros Halkias?

  and then, you know, ultimately, it's like, if I, if I end up with somebody that really wants kids, maybe, who fucking knows? If podcasting is still economically viable, uh, at that point, uh, maybe we'll do it, but.

• 43:44Speaker 03

  I don't know if I could have, are you worried about AI stuff?

• 43:47Speaker 04

  What? No. For having kids? No, that's not gonna stop, it's not gonna stop.

• 43:52Stavros Halkias?

  What do you mean worried about AI stuff?

• 43:53Speaker 03

  I don't know, I'd be so worried.

• 43:55Stavros Halkias?

  Like the world being bad?

• 43:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:56Speaker 04

  But every point.

• 43:57Stavros Halkias?

  That's every generation.

• 43:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, everyone.

• 43:59Stavros Halkias?

  You can't stop having kids, humanity ends.

• 44:00Speaker 03

  I worry about my dog. I'm like, if the.

• 44:02Stavros Halkias?

  Well, you're insanely mentally ill.

• 44:08Speaker 04

  I was similar to you where I didn't have a strong feeling about wanting them or not. And me and one of my best friends would always used to say like, either having kids or not having kids, both seem equally terrifying. We were terrified by both. But I feel like now that I have had a child, I actually think both options are good.

• 44:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, right. That's a much better perspective. Then they're both bad.

• 44:34Speaker 04

  That's what being a mom can do. I, like, I love having children, but I also like, look at what, like, you lose out on. I'm like, that's really great too. So I feel like both are good.

• 44:45Stavros Halkias?

  Well, that's the other thing, is like, seeing what it takes to have a baby in particular and being like, Jesus, like, when my brother, when my brother and sister-in-law visited me last year, he was like, what, like nine months, eight months, whatever? Couldn't really walk, had to be constantly supervised. Your whole life is on, if this baby, if a baby has a fucked up nap, one fucked up nap ruins your life for three months somehow. Like, it starts this chain of events where you're fucking, you're so fucked for like, you know, a month or whatever. And I was like, as exhausting as this year has been, the most exhausted I've been is like, when a baby just was like waking up in the middle of the night, you know what I mean?

• 45:25Stavros Halkias?

  Like, and it just seems like a lot. And so, two things have happened where I'm like, the day to day seems like tough for me. But also the actual connection with these babies is like, I just really love them and I'm just like.

• 45:38Speaker 04

  It's its own drug.

• 45:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 45:40Speaker 04

  It's the way that you're.

• 45:41Speaker 03

  How old is your baby, your son?

• 45:42Speaker 04

  I have a two-year-old and then my son is seven months.

• 45:45Stavros Halkias?

  Oh.

• 45:46Speaker 03

  But you seem slept.

• 45:47Speaker 04

  I do okay. I'm also like, it is a drug. Like, when my baby starts crying at 2:00 AM, I'm like, oh, I'm so tired, but I'm also like, hey?

• 45:59Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 46:01Stavros Halkias?

  I know what you mean. That's how my brother feels too, where he's just like, I mean, he loves my nephew, like, and that's the other thing. I love these kids so much, I can't imagine what it feels like. And it almost is a little scary.

• 46:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:12Stavros Halkias?

  Where I'm like, fuck dude, would I even be able to handle this? Would I, would my anxiety would like, cause I guess I'm realizing a lot of my life is trying, it's not, I haven't figured out how to not care about things. I'm just trying to keep the things that I care about or scare me out of my life, you know what I mean? Like relationships, whatever, I'm avoiding them. And, and that's why I'm kind of focusing on my career, cause it's like, honestly, it's kind of low stakes. Who really gives a fuck?

• 46:37Speaker 03

  Right, but also the amount that the career stresses us out, I imagine if I had a kid, I'd be like, well, that doesn't matter. I don't need to go to fucking Cleveland.

• 46:47Stavros Halkias?

  That, yeah, that's a good point. I think that would probably help and make you a hu, a regular.

• 46:50Speaker 03

  But that scares me, cause then I'm like, then I would just be like, there's no reason to do this shit. Now I have no money and a child.

• 46:57Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, you.

• 46:57Speaker 04

  But I think that's, that's a lot of extremes you're throwing out there.

• 47:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, there we go, Esther. Bring her back down to earth. It's not one or the other.

• 47:05Speaker 04

  It's Cleveland, never work again, no money, like.

• 47:09Speaker 03

  Don't you have that? Where you're just like, why would I ever tour if I have a beautiful little baby?

• 47:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, but you kind of like, you know.

• 47:15Speaker 03

  Balance?

• 47:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, balance is out. Yeah. That's fair.

• 47:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. That is, yeah, I don't know. And what was, why did you not want a boy? You were just like, you don't hang with boys?

• 47:26Speaker 04

  I just never, I didn't have a brother, like, I just didn't know what to do. I don't have like guy interests.

• 47:33Speaker 03

  It's really scary.

• 47:34Stavros Halkias?

  You throw on Lord on the Ring, Lord of the Rings?

• 47:36Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 47:36Stavros Halkias?

  You throw on Lord of the Rings with your fucking newborn?

• 47:38Speaker 04

  I was like, the full nine months, I was like.

• 47:41Speaker 03

  I can't wait for you to be the pick me mom.

• 47:42Speaker 04

  Oh, I already am. The second I met him, I'm like, this is, I looked at my husband, I was like, this is my husband.

• 47:48Speaker 03

  I love Halo 2. I love Halo 2.

• 47:51Speaker 04

  He sucks on my titty. He's my boyfriend. I love him. He's so handsome.

• 47:57Stavros Halkias?

  Sounds like he's gonna have a really regular relationship with women.

• 48:04Stavros Halkias?

  Sounds like you're prepping him for a Jordan style life.

• 48:10Speaker 03

  I know.

• 48:11Stavros Halkias?

  No, that's cute as fuck, honestly. It is really funny to just be like, wow. Even if you fight, if you can fight, like, growing up, but it's pathetic, right? It's like, it's like, when you get to your late 30s, it's like, even if, like, except even if I don't have kids, it's like, you gotta turn into an uncle. You turn into an uncle or a dad. You can't try and be cool.

• 48:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:32Stavros Halkias?

  And we see it all the time with comics. It's like, you see these fucking 50 year old guys who are single or whatever, or then, God forbid, they get divorced. That's a real tough one. You go double sleeve, double, you get a cool tattoo.

• 48:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:44Stavros Halkias?

  You get fucking hair, you go to fucking Turkey, get hair plugs, and now you're trying to fuck, you know.

• 48:49Speaker 03

  I am leaning into the weird aunt thing, and it is so, at my house, there's an entire crawl space that's like, I've made into a fairyland with all miniatures. I dug a pond.

• 48:59Speaker 04

  Can I come? That sounds so fun.

• 49:01Speaker 03

  I literally bought a fairy cottage.

• 49:03Stavros Halkias?

  That's so cute.

• 49:03Speaker 03

  And it's, yeah, and I'm always like.

• 49:05Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, you're perfect for weird.

• 49:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm like.

• 49:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I'm this, I mean, I'm perfect for weird uncle.

• 49:11Speaker 03

  Frog sanctuaries. Yeah, it's the best. And my niece, all the time, just goes, she calls me Auntie Dodo.

• 49:16Stavros Halkias?

  Awesome.

• 49:16Speaker 03

  And she's like, she always goes, you're a quaidie. That's all she says. You're a quaidie, you're cuckoo. Auntie Dodo is because you can't say J's, and my nickname's JoJo.

• 49:25Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that's so cute.

• 49:26Speaker 03

  Auntie Dodo, and it fits.

• 49:27Stavros Halkias?

  I, I hit, recently, my boy hit me with Uncle Stav.

• 49:32Stavros Halkias?

  Crazy.

• 49:32Speaker 04

  How old is?

• 49:33Speaker 03

  Oh, wait, your special's called Uncle.

• 49:34Stavros Halkias?

  Uncle Stav because of him, obviously. That's the whole, that's the whole thing. But yeah, he, and, and I had, I said it, and it was like him, I, it was named that, and then hearing him just say it independently was like, the best thing of all time. Yeah, he's the fucking man. Um, so I'm excited. I'm excited to be a corrupting force in his life, in Eldis's son's life. I'm, I can't wait to undermine Eldis at every turn.

• 49:59Speaker 05

  I just never bring my kid around.

• 50:05Stavros Halkias?

  It's kind of cool because I get to be the, a divorced dad without ever having kids.

• 50:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:09Stavros Halkias?

  I'm somewhere, I'm realizing what I really am is somewhere between, I'm a, I'm like a great uncle, and I'd probably be a pretty bad dad.

• 50:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 50:17Stavros Halkias?

  And so I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, one and a half uncles, and like, 0.75% of a dad, I think. You know what I mean? And so like, why don't just be a turbo uncle, or it evens out at stepdad at some point, probably is what's gonna happen. I think, I think I could make that work.

• 50:31Speaker 04

  Or older dad.

• 50:32Stavros Halkias?

  Older dad could work, but then I'm like, older? Being an old dad, you gotta be healthy.

• 50:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:39Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? Like, I'm gonna be an older dad and fucking, I'm gonna be dead when he's in third grade.

• 50:44Speaker 04

  No.

• 50:45Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? Like, diet 61.

• 50:48Speaker 03

  You're gonna be a photo.

• 50:49Stavros Halkias?

  My son has a lisp at my funeral. You know what I mean? He's fucking, he's wearing an ash gosh bagosh suit at my funeral. I can't have that.

• 51:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dude, you don't want to put a, you don't want to put a fucking seven year old in all black.

• 51:10Stavros Halkias?

  So we'll see, we'll see. Or maybe I get my health in order.

• 51:13Speaker 03

  And old dad is always slightly angry dad. It's slightly angry dad. Even if you're trying not to be, there's still that breath that comes out where you're like, ugh.

• 51:21Speaker 04

  But old dad is good because you don't want a young guy as your dad.

• 51:25Speaker 03

  You do.

• 51:25Speaker 04

  No, you don't. A young guy is a nightmare. They're, they're awful.

• 51:29Speaker 03

  Did you have a young dad or an old dad?

• 51:30Speaker 04

  I had an old dad.

• 51:31Speaker 03

  I had a young dad. It was the best.

• 51:33Speaker 04

  Why?

• 51:33Stavros Halkias?

  Hold on, hold on, time out, time, time out. Time out, Jordan. This is called holding you accountable. We are not gonna talk about how awesome your relationship to your father is, when that clearly is the problem for everything in your life. That is clearly the problem. You have just proven Esther's point.

• 51:53Speaker 03

  It was so awesome that I was in love with him, and I've been trying to find him ever since. Every cock I suck, I go, no, not quite, no, not quite.

• 52:03Stavros Halkias?

  You look into it, you're like, dad, are you in there knocking on the ball?

• 52:06Speaker 03

  That's how sick it was.

• 52:10Stavros Halkias?

  So excellent, Esther wins that round of debate.

• 52:14Speaker 03

  Is your dad alive?

• 52:15Speaker 04

  He is, yeah. He's, he's 85.

• 52:17Stavros Halkias?

  Whoa, healthy guy though, probably. Thin guy?

• 52:20Speaker 04

  He's skinny, yeah. But he got healthy, like, after.

• 52:24Speaker 03

  Did he play tennis?

• 52:25Speaker 04

  No, just running.

• 52:26Speaker 03

  Running, wow. 85 running is crazy.

• 52:29Speaker 04

  Well, no, not anymore.

• 52:32Speaker 04

  But yeah, I, I'm, I vote for old dad. I don't know.

• 52:35Stavros Halkias?

  Old dad's nice.

• 52:36Speaker 03

  Wait, how old are you?

• 52:37Speaker 04

  I'm 38.

• 52:38Speaker 03

  38, I think that's the money. I think that's perfect.

• 52:41Stavros Halkias?

  No, our brains have been warped by being in entertainment. That's, we're all little, like, all of us have grown up a little, it took a little longer than it should have.

• 52:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 52:49Stavros Halkias?

  We're, everything should, if we, if we turned it back even like, I don't know, four years, I think we're all looking good.

• 52:54Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 52:55Stavros Halkias?

  You'll be fine. You just got it just under the, you and Eldis just slid under. Me and Jordan are fucked.

• 52:59Speaker 03

  We are.

• 53:01Speaker 04

  Don't say that. I want more.

• 53:02Speaker 03

  I like the step parent thing. I could do it.

• 53:04Stavros Halkias?

  You could be a good step mom.

• 53:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 53:06Speaker 03

  Totally.

• 53:06Stavros Halkias?

  Now, would you also fuck your stepson?

• 53:08Speaker 03

  Well, I was.

• 53:11Speaker 03

  I was thinking that as you said it.

• 53:15Stavros Halkias?

  You have kind of a history with that blended family. You've kind of, they blended the family a little too good over there.

• 53:23Speaker 03

  Nothing's off limits. If my dad wasn't off limits, you better believe my stepbrother wasn't. Right.

• 53:30Speaker 04

  Would you talk?

• 53:31Speaker 03

  My dad kept going, no, no.

• 53:34Speaker 04

  Do you think, would you talk like this about your dad if he was alive?

• 53:37Speaker 03

  Fuck no. Oh my God, thank God. I killed him so I could do my special.

• 53:41Stavros Halkias?

  Right, people don't know that. Jordan actually murdered her dad, and that's what a lot of this is about.

• 53:45Speaker 03

  We had, we had a crush on each other. He, he couldn't, he had a crush on me too.

• 53:49Stavros Halkias?

  I think what you're describing is loving his daughter.

• 53:53Speaker 03

  No, there were vibes, Stav. There were vibes.

• 53:56Stavros Halkias?

  You were dealt with his untimely death in a weird way, and maybe let's zero in on that in therapy. Instead of talking about how it doesn't work.

• 54:06Speaker 03

  Who's to say?

• 54:10Speaker 03

  We would know if he was alive. If he was alive, he would say, if only she wasn't my daughter.

• 54:15Stavros Halkias?

  And that would be good to you? You would want to hear that from your dad?

• 54:19Speaker 03

  It's all I've wanted my whole life.

• 54:22Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, so literally go to therapy and talk about nothing else but that sentence.

• 54:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 54:26Stavros Halkias?

  And let's start on nothing, yeah, yeah, okay, good. Okay, all right.

• 54:30Speaker 03

  And he goes, he goes, I wish you had a better father figure. And I go, am I gonna fuck my therapist?

• 54:35Stavros Halkias?

  Right, okay, new, new thing. Female therapist.

• 54:38Speaker 03

  Female therapist.

• 54:38Stavros Halkias?

  You're gonna need one. I mean, I was, I remember being in Baltimore, and I had a therapist that I was truly in love with in a way, where it was like, I don't know, I had, this would happen to me a couple times where I would charm like an authority, like a teacher or something, and it kind of was the vibe of like, oh, who know, like, not, nothing too creepy or whatever, but like, like in college, I'd have like an old.

• 55:01Speaker 03

  Bro, if you're fat, you flirt so well as a child.

• 55:03Stavros Halkias?

  That's interesting.

• 55:06Stavros Halkias?

  Anything to get a muffin, whatever it takes. You learn how to sweet talk an adult if they have access to desserts.

• 55:14Speaker 03

  It's crazy. You're like, I'm already fat, so I have no shame. It's the best.

• 55:21Stavros Halkias?

  Let's, let's, uh, write that one down, put that right under dad. That's gonna be number two. I'm already fat, so I have no shame.

• 55:29Speaker 03

  You see your skinny friends, they have no game. It helps. I have hot friends, and I'm like, why aren't you flirting? Go tell that guy he's got a little dick and to prove you wrong. And they're like, no. And I'm like, dude, I'm covered in cupcake. I'll say anything.

• 55:44Stavros Halkias?

  Frosting. Oh, interesting. So you're, you are so debased. In your mind, being fat is so embarrassing.

• 55:49Speaker 03

  Debased.

• 55:50Stavros Halkias?

  That, what's getting rejected by an adult?

• 55:53Speaker 03

  Everybody's already rejected me. Yeah, totally. I might as well try and find a weirdo to fuck.

• 55:58Stavros Halkias?

  We don't have to get into it too much, but you also were groomed as a child, I remember, if I'm correct. So, Jordan, there's a lot you gotta deal with. Everything you're saying that's positive is actually really negative.

• 56:11Stavros Halkias?

  Everything that you've, that you've stated as a good thing is bad. Your entire brain is fucked, and you need to figure that out.

• 56:22Stavros Halkias?

  And so that's the person you're gonna be getting advice from today, folks. So, why don't we go to the, why don't we hit the visible hotline, Eldis? Uh, and let's not, let's not forget, listen, is this bad for Jordan's health and wellbeing? Yes. It makes for good standup, folks. Go see her at the Beacon Theater coming up.

• 56:39Speaker 04

  Your clips have been so good.

• 56:41Speaker 03

  Oh, thank you.

• 56:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, you're, so whatever's going on, we can't tell you to stop.

• 56:46Stavros Halkias?

  No, I say stop. I say stop because I care about you, and I've seen, listen, if this was a couple years, I'd be like, all right, getting it out of her system. This could be the rest of her life if she doesn't do something soon.

• 56:57Speaker 03

  I swear to God, I'm doing things. I am doing things.

• 57:00Stavros Halkias?

  We just kind of, all right, Jordan, I guess it's never gonna happen.

• 57:03Speaker 03

  It's gonna take. If it doesn't take, I'm buying your DoorDash for three years.

• 57:09Stavros Halkias?

  All right, okay, we'll figure something out. All right, okay, all right. All right, Eldis, hit us with a call, little buddy.

• 57:15Speaker 06

  Hello, Stavie, Eldis, and esteemed guests. Uh, hoping you can help me out with this. So, for all of my career, I've worked in finance and corporate environments, like downtown, had an office. And I just got this new job that pays really good at an industrial manufacturer. So I'm like at a manufacturing facility now.

• 57:41Speaker 06

  And I seem to have walked into some kind of like sex time stealing conspiracy.

• 57:50Stavros Halkias?

  What?

• 57:51Speaker 05

  She said sex time stealing conspiracy, but I'll let her go on.

• 57:57Speaker 06

  So these guys that work at the warehouse.

• 58:00Stavros Halkias?

  Time theft is good, and you should do it from your employer. You should steal time from the, you know, you should take longer to do stuff. Without question, your bosses fuck you way more than you fuck them, so get it any way you can. Defraud your employer any way you can, unless you work for Stavie Baby Enterprises. And we are a family here.

• 58:18Speaker 04

  Steal the pens.

• 58:22Speaker 06

  So these guys that work at the warehouse, they're married guys, they clock in, and then their side pieces come to the warehouse.

• 58:30Speaker 03

  Hell, yeah.

• 58:31Speaker 06

  And they hook up there. And then they leave. They're like having these affairs on the clock. They clock in, and then their side pieces come to the warehouse, and they hook up there. And then they leave. So they're like having these affairs on the clock.

• 58:51Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, who cares? What are you, a fucking thork?

• 58:54Speaker 06

  Oh, that's not great.

• 58:55Stavros Halkias?

  They sound awesome.

• 58:56Speaker 06

  But it's kind of like their business. They are stealing the company's money technically, but whatever.

• 59:03Stavros Halkias?

  You're right.

• 59:03Speaker 06

  And then I saw one of these guys who's in his, I guess, like mid to late 30s, and he was brought this girl who looked really young, like, freshly 18, I would say. Um. And I'm like, do I tell?

• 59:20Stavros Halkias?

  Taking a turn.

• 59:21Speaker 06

  Like, what are these guys doing? Like, do I just get a new job? I don't know what to do.

• 59:30Speaker 03

  Why did you leave finance?

• 59:31Speaker 06

  I mean, they're hooking up at work, at the warehouse on the clock.

• 59:35Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 59:35Speaker 06

  And they're married. I mean, the married part isn't really any of my business professionally, but it's like-

• 59:40Stavros Halkias?

  Almost none of this is your business, honestly. There seem like two guys.

• 59:44Speaker 06

  Do I do nothing?

• 59:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 59:47Speaker 06

  I don't know what to do. Let me know your thoughts. Thank you.

• 59:50Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, so she said she moved, she like, in the beginning, she's framing this, it's a good job. I don't understand the like-

• 59:57Speaker 05

  It's, it's a, it's a job that pays really well.

• 1:00:00Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:00:00Speaker 05

  And she's worked in like, she works in finance, so she's sort of worked like in corporate, you know, just office environment.

• 1:00:05Stavros Halkias?

  And listen, warehouses are sick to work in. No one gives a fuck. Like, you can wear whatever the fuck you want. You can literally cheat on your wife and no one bats an eyelash, right? So, what, the freedom you're enjoying, what you like about not being in a corporate environment, that's what these guys like too. All right? You're taking these perks, they're getting their perks too.

• 1:00:27Speaker 03

  I think small pranks. She should do small things to hurt them.

• 1:00:31Stavros Halkias?

  Cool, yeah, yeah. Maybe call them from an unidentified number and say she's pregnant.

• 1:00:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:35Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean?

• 1:00:36Speaker 03

  Steal, steal, steal things. Steal small things. Just get little-

• 1:00:39Stavros Halkias?

  That is true, actually. What, you're being opened up to have some really nice blackmail on these guys.

• 1:00:44Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:00:44Stavros Halkias?

  So, take some video, take some pictures.

• 1:00:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:48Stavros Halkias?

  Cause if they, listen, they're playing, and listen, you don't want to use it. God forbid you have to, though.

• 1:00:53Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:00:53Stavros Halkias?

  Hopefully, they don't push you to use it. That's a good point. That's a good point.

• 1:00:57Speaker 03

  I don't want these weird mafia guys that all-

• 1:01:00Stavros Halkias?

  Well, let me say this. I, I, now, this is an interesting thing about American, you don't see this so much in American culture. I really like, this is more European style stuff. My godfather literally had a government job in Greece, and he would just clock in and take, he had the night shift. He would never fit, he had a maintenance job, he would just like, not work. And sometimes he would work, he would be clocked in two places at once. He was the, he's the man. I fucking love that guy. Now he's retired on an island, just living his life.

• 1:01:26Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 1:01:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, he's awesome.

• 1:01:27Speaker 03

  That's sick. Yeah, fuck that.

• 1:01:29Stavros Halkias?

  He, they, he, I, he openly talked about cheating in front of his wife, and she like laughed about it, so he seemed to have life figured out.

• 1:01:37Speaker 03

  That's awesome.

• 1:01:38Stavros Halkias?

  And my godmother's one of the best people of all time, very nurturing, uh, person. Maybe she let him get away with it. None of my business, good for them.

• 1:01:44Speaker 04

  I would ask yourself, why is it bothering you so much? And like, maybe you need to come up with your own little, like, fun thing to do on the clock?

• 1:01:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Steal time, like, here's the thing. What's pissing me off is you talking about time theft?

• 1:02:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:02:01Stavros Halkias?

  As if it's like, eh, eh, like, even the fact where you say this woman is freshly eighteen, it almost feels like you have convinced yourself a twenty-four-year-old is seventeen to give yourself moral high ground.

• 1:02:15Speaker 03

  I do that a lot.

• 1:02:16Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, don't say that in public.

• 1:02:17Speaker 03

  Sorry.

• 1:02:19Speaker 03

  Anytime I see one of my guy friends dating somebody in their twenties, I'm like, that is a child.

• 1:02:23Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, okay, that way. I see, I see.

• 1:02:25Speaker 03

  Pervert.

• 1:02:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:02:26Speaker 03

  It's cra- even if they're short, like with you, I'd be like, you're a fucking head of- If they're skinny, I'm like, you are disgusting.

• 1:02:34Stavros Halkias?

  So, who can they fuck? Tall, chunky girls?

• 1:02:37Speaker 03

  Fat. Old.

• 1:02:45Stavros Halkias?

  I agree, they need love as well.

• 1:02:47Speaker 03

  That's nice. You bring in a girlfriend with a beard, I'm like, now you're getting somewhere. Now I agree.

• 1:02:51Stavros Halkias?

  All right, no time to delve into that last thing, but, uh, no, but that's a very interesting idea.

• 1:02:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:02:58Stavros Halkias?

  Because like, why is that?

• 1:03:00Speaker 03

  We all do that, because you're an aging woman, and if they bring in a younger woman, you're like, you're sick.

• 1:03:04Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, thank you for just saying it exactly.

• 1:03:06Speaker 03

  Of course, yeah. Yeah.

• 1:03:09Stavros Halkias?

  So, that's, like, were they rea- was this person really young? Is this like, or are you like, just, cause to me, that's the only actual actionable item, is if they're like weirdly hooking up with like, high school girls or some shit, or even like, freshmen in college, like that makes it, that brings a, a, an air of impropriety to it, but that's the only thing, and she's not, she just said she looked at one and maybe everything else. Let's just throw that out for a second and just say, everyone's about the same, whatever, it's not, there's no creepiness to it other than cheating on your wife and time stealing. Cheating on your wife, they're your coworkers. Who gives a fuck?

• 1:03:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:03:51Stavros Halkias?

  It's not your friend, you're not the morality police, you're there to do a fucking job. It's not good, but like, this is, you've been given a gift. Esther, you're so right. Find ways to steal time that benefit you.

• 1:04:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, start a long-

• 1:04:02Stavros Halkias?

  Go on long lunches. Yes, yeah, I used to fucking, the best writing of my life was when I had day jobs. I was a fucking paralegal, just not filing shit and writing horrible dick jokes, right?

• 1:04:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:04:15Stavros Halkias?

  Um, find, you know, take up crocheting.

• 1:04:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:04:19Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? Like-

• 1:04:20Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:04:20Speaker 04

  There's some knitting in the, on the warehouse, yeah.

• 1:04:23Stavros Halkias?

  You sound, I have a friend, uh, I have a friend who was very smart, this person was very smart, and was really good at the, every job they had, but they cared so much, they were annoying. And they would like, they would see little infractions, they would kind of tattle, and they would like, they would make, they would see a boss doing something wrong, and they would be like, can you believe this shit? Like, we could be, you know, we could be, make, whatever, and it's like-

• 1:04:49Speaker 03

  You gotta get a life-

• 1:04:49Stavros Halkias?

  Shut the fuck up.

• 1:04:51Speaker 03

  Or start your own business.

• 1:04:52Stavros Halkias?

  You're being a fucking loser, exactly. Start your own business, or shut the fuck up and take the paycheck?

• 1:04:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:04:57Stavros Halkias?

  And you have been given a gift, and you're spitting in the eye of God here, because the kind of workplace that doesn't notice that fucking warehouse guys are fucking different girls every day on the job, you could get away with anything, and it pays good!

• 1:05:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:05:13Stavros Halkias?

  So just, my advice is, as long as nothing weird, as long as it's not some kind of very white trash Epstein situation, shut up, enjoy it, steal, take the check, or stop taking things so seriously.

• 1:05:27Speaker 03

  You know what I'm saying? Literally go up to the guys and be like, I want twenty percent of all of your paychecks, or I'm telling you what.

• 1:05:33Stavros Halkias?

  No. And she does end up in a fucking ravine.

• 1:05:36Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:05:36Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? You are the one who's afraid of her safety, don't, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:05:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:05:40Stavros Halkias?

  You're the one who convinced me not to blackmail, um, but-

• 1:05:43Speaker 05

  I, I will say, there is an element of this that like, could just be a legitimate, like, HR issue too. Uh, like, it's not, you know, yeah, time theft, whatever, but it's like, you know, it's a normal reaction to be uncomfortable when your coworker's like, cornholing some eighteen-year-old behind, behind the like, the fu- the fucking machine or something, like, are these guy fuck, are these guys fucking in like, a place where you might just be walking into, or is it like, in an office, or, or, or, you know? I'm just thinking of like, that Eight Mile scene.

• 1:06:16Stavros Halkias?

  What you're saying is completely correct. I'm just saying, the reality of a warehouse workplace.

• 1:06:22Speaker 05

  Sure.

• 1:06:23Stavros Halkias?

  You think the HR is up to stuff when you're getting your dick sucked next to a barrel of WD-40? Do you really think they have a fucking stickler for HR there?

• 1:06:32Speaker 05

  That's true.

• 1:06:32Stavros Halkias?

  And it's just, and it's also the kind of thing where it's like, I, I have had multiple warehouse jobs. These guy, like, blue collar guys just, you know, they don't like, they don't like snitches, it's like, it's kind of like, it's like, yeah, being a cop, you have to do bad shit to work there. You've, you, the cu- the culture of your workplace is bad and wrong, but-

• 1:06:53Speaker 03

  Where are they fucking, do you think, in the warehouse? I haven't-

• 1:06:55Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know, maybe their cars, did she say? Where? No, they just clock in. So, I really think what's going on here is jealousy.

• 1:07:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:07:01Stavros Halkias?

  You know? And listen, yeah. And that's fine, it's human, I get it. I would be mad too, it's like, I'm over here busting my ass, working, they're getting, they're, they're eating a little pussy over there, I'm jealous. Right? That sounds cool.

• 1:07:13Speaker 03

  You gotta stop busting your ass.

• 1:07:15Stavros Halkias?

  You gotta stop working hard.

• 1:07:16Speaker 03

  Put it towards something you care about.

• 1:07:18Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly.

• 1:07:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:07:19Stavros Halkias?

  Take the paycheck, and then start your fucking side business that you can be anal and, and strict about.

• 1:07:24Speaker 03

  Some weird advocate for women or something.

• 1:07:27Stavros Halkias?

  Open up an Etsy store. No, that's not gonna make any money.

• 1:07:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's true.

• 1:07:29Stavros Halkias?

  Our, our society doesn't really like when you do that.

• 1:07:31Speaker 03

  No, it doesn't like it.

• 1:07:32Stavros Halkias?

  Advocating for women, one of the worst things you could do.

• 1:07:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:07:36Stavros Halkias?

  But, start an Etsy store, uh, start, uh, dropshipping, whatever, I don't fucking know, but like, yeah. And look, if this gets really fucking crazy and really out of hand, yeah, you can test the waters on HR, you can, you can kind of float stuff out. You can gossip about it a little bit, and, and get the, get the temperature of the rest of the workplace, and see what else, is anybody, what are the other people, what are the non-sexual deviants getting out of this setup, right? Cause I thi- like, I literally, the, the fucking place I worked, the, the law firm I worked for a while was fucking cra- like, one of the partners blew their fucking brains out in the, uh, parking lot after I quit, cause they were like, stealing the whole time.

• 1:08:18Stavros Halkias?

  People were like, there were managers being like, yeah, you could take that shift, just send me a picture of your pussy, and she was like, yeah.

• 1:08:23Speaker 03

  Holy shit.

• 1:08:24Stavros Halkias?

  No problem, these white trash Baltimore goes back, yeah, you got it, Mark, and just like, people were getting sucked off in parking, like, it was a bad place, and that's where my friend was trying to be like, guys, what are we doing here? And, and I was a horrible employee who did nothing, he got fired before me, because I just, I was just, I was taking two-hour lunches.

• 1:08:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:08:44Stavros Halkias?

  I was doing nothing. I read the scenario here, right? And I was like, I'm not, I also had a moral problem, cause I didn't realize it was like, a pure foreclosure law firm. So I was like, well, I'm not gonna help these people kick people out of their homes, so I just stopped working for them, and did stand-up, really. And then, yeah, the guy, it was such an immoral place, but you know what? I cashed a lot of checks for not working. I wouldn't have it any other way. I, and, and I think, now look, we're clearly different people, me and this caller, but just get a little bit of being a scumbag. I think that'll be good for you. Um, have you guys worked at a fucked up pla- has, has anything like this happened? I mean, it's mostly like restaurants and shit that people behave like this, I feel.

• 1:09:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, I worked at a restaurant that was very predatory, um, and then, it was like, the men would come over from the restaurant to the bakery and like, prey on the women, and like-

• 1:09:34Stavros Halkias?

  Oh my god.

• 1:09:34Speaker 03

  But I just became like- This bodyguard.

• 1:09:37Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:09:37Speaker 03

  They never hit on me at all.

• 1:09:39Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right. You had a fucking mouthful of sourdough at all times?

• 1:09:42Speaker 03

  I had, it was frosting, it was straight frosting. I worked on the bakery side. But that was fun for me. I was like, I'm just gonna like defend these women and like

• 1:09:50Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome.

• 1:09:50Speaker 03

  Step up against and like fight them and like getting these arguments, but that's what I wanted to spend my days doing.

• 1:09:55Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:09:55Speaker 04

  We didn't have this when I worked at Johnny Rockets. It wasn't like this.

• 1:10:00Stavros Halkias?

  There was no sexual intrigue at the 50s themed diner?

• 1:10:03Speaker 04

  No, if I'm being honest, no.

• 1:10:06Stavros Halkias?

  Really?

• 1:10:06Speaker 04

  Just me and my Oreo milkshakes and smiley faces of ketchup. So this is really weird.

• 1:10:13Stavros Halkias?

  Really? How old were you when you worked at Johnny Rockets?

• 1:10:15Speaker 04

  I was freshly 18.

• 1:10:17Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, wow. And no weird manager was trying to fuck you?

• 1:10:20Speaker 04

  No, not at all. It was a beautiful time for me.

• 1:10:23Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome. That's awesome. And, and I hope that for every woman in the workplace, you know?

• 1:10:26Speaker 03

  I also stole a lot of shit, like a lot.

• 1:10:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:29Speaker 03

  Of shit.

• 1:10:29Stavros Halkias?

  No, steal. So anyway, that's what we would, that's my, my advice to this caller, our advice to this caller. Steal from this company.

• 1:10:36Speaker 03

  Or leave, just leave.

• 1:10:37Stavros Halkias?

  Or leave, but if it gets dangerous, obviously say something, but if it's just like consenting adults cheating and the, the guy who loses out is the fucking CEO of whatever company you work for. Who gives a fuck?

• 1:10:49Speaker 03

  Feel free to have fun. If the woman comes in, feel free to pick up your phone and go, hey Brad, isn't this, is it, is this your wife on the phone? Feel free to fuck around.

• 1:10:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:10:58Speaker 03

  Make it fun.

• 1:10:59Stavros Halkias?

  Totally. Over the loudspeaker where you know he's getting head, be like, your wife's here, Brian, your wife's here. You know what I mean? Like, huh? Give him a little heart attack. That's actually fun. And by the way, they will respect you more for fucking with them.

• 1:11:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:11:10Stavros Halkias?

  Than they will for, for tattling.

• 1:11:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:11:12Stavros Halkias?

  Tattling is death in any kind of situation like this. If you tattle, you're fucked. I promise you that. Good luck out there. It sounds like you got a great setup.

• 1:11:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:11:22Stavros Halkias?

  I think you still need to start looking to this glass half full.

• 1:11:24Speaker 01

  Now, smaller than ever, more powerful, more accurate. Meet Pod 6, the sixth generation of 8Sleep's award-winning sleep system. The Pod is an intelligent mattress cover that transforms your existing bed. It cools and heats on each side of the bed from 55 degrees to 110 degrees. As you sleep, it also measures your sleep stages, heart rate, and breathing, then acts on that in real time, adjusting temperature. All you have to do is sleep. Shop now at 8sleep.com.

• 1:11:55Stavros Halkias?

  Hey listeners, Stavi here. Thank you for tuning into Stavi's World each week. If you want to hear new episodes ad-free, subscribe to SiriusXM Podcast Plus on Apple Podcasts or visit siriusxm.com/podcastplus to listen with Spotify or another app of your choice.

• 1:12:15Speaker 06

  Stavi Albanian guest. Okay, so.

• 1:12:19Stavros Halkias?

  Excellent way to refer to it.

• 1:12:20Speaker 06

  I have a boyfriend. I love him very much. Last night, I thought I had went on two dates with two years ago messaged me. And basically, he, I'm gonna read you some actual quotes he sent to me. Well, I am a loser and you are gorgeous and such. I would be serving and worshiping you. I am here begging to be a sub to you and such. Basically, he's requesting me to financially dominate him.

• 1:12:43Stavros Halkias?

  Hey.

• 1:12:43Speaker 06

  Like, he wants me to humiliate him in exchange for money. My dude, we went on two like boring ass dates, nothing really happened. He goes to me, this is like two years ago. And my boyfriend finds this hilarious. T, T, T. They both work for the military. Different jobs, different jobs though, so they would like never really interact.

• 1:13:03Stavros Halkias?

  She says, she says the military like it's a fucking local Johnny Rockets. Well, they both work. It's like, yeah, I assume they don't interact in the US military. You would have to be like, they work together at the military for me to think they're, they're coworkers.

• 1:13:18Speaker 06

  And he sent me like a long ass message and I go like, I'm not gonna respond to this unless he sends me money. He's like, how much?

• 1:13:24Stavros Halkias?

  Respect.

• 1:13:25Speaker 06

  50. And he sent me the money. And like, I asked him like, straight up, what's your salary? And he says, 80K. And so I'm like, you're not expecting me to like meet up with you and touch you though. And he was like, no, you don't have to touch me, but it would be nice if we can meet up so I can give you money. And so you can humiliate me. And I'm like, hmm, that's dangerous. And that's like, my boyfriend's like, yeah, you're not doing it. And I'm like, obviously I'm not doing it. I'm not trying to get fucking murdered. But like, also, your girl has a broken foot and I can't work for the next four weeks.

• 1:13:55Stavros Halkias?

  Love it.

• 1:13:55Speaker 06

  And I'd like money. So how do I get him to be like, I'm not gonna meet up with you, but you're still gonna send me money?

• 1:14:00Stavros Halkias?

  Here's what you do.

• 1:14:01Speaker 06

  You pathetic loser. Stavi, I love you so much. I saw you in San Diego. Fun fact, the guy's sending ecstasy. Didn't know him. He didn't laugh at any of your jokes, but he did laugh at the one joke the opener made about getting his prostate examined.

• 1:14:14Speaker 06

  I love you, Stavi, baby.

• 1:14:15Speaker 03

  We don't wanna know that ever.

• 1:14:16Stavros Halkias?

  No, it's fine. I don't give a fuck.

• 1:14:18Speaker 03

  I hate that.

• 1:14:19Stavros Halkias?

  I don't care.

• 1:14:19Speaker 03

  Funny note, everybody hated you except for me.

• 1:14:21Stavros Halkias?

  No, that was a great show, so I don't feel bad about it, but I remember exactly the show.

• 1:14:25Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 1:14:26Stavros Halkias?

  Um, so first of all, have you, well, have you guys ever financially dominated anyone? Doesn't seem like it's in your spirit, either of you, but.

• 1:14:36Speaker 03

  Financially dominated, like being like, you have to send me money?

• 1:14:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:38Speaker 03

  I mean, maybe like.

• 1:14:39Stavros Halkias?

  Been mean to a guy for like sexual thrills on his part?

• 1:14:43Speaker 03

  I mean, can we bring this back to my dad or?

• 1:14:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you're stomping on your dad's foot.

• 1:14:48Speaker 03

  I need you to pay my tuition or whatever.

• 1:14:51Stavros Halkias?

  Well, here's where I say you would fuck, our friend here fucked up, is she's, you can't ask questions to this guy. You can't be like, you're not expecting me to meet up. What you say is,

• 1:15:02Speaker 03

  I'm not meeting up with you, little bitch.

• 1:15:03Stavros Halkias?

  You're worthless, you fucking worm. Send me, maybe if you send me enough money, you can see me from across a public place. If you're lucky, you little piece of fucking dog shit. Like, you need to really turn it up.

• 1:15:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, send me $500 if you wanna know what I feel about you. And he'll be like, okay, okay.

• 1:15:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:15:20Speaker 03

  And then you're like, you're a little.

• 1:15:21Stavros Halkias?

  You're like, the best you can get is like a video of me like looking bored and not even paying attention. Um, so you need to just like, you need to be meaner. This is nice. This is the golden goose here. This falls into your lap. Um, and I think like, yeah, your boy, it's cool that your boyfriend's not threatened by this. That's good. He's on, he's on, you know, you guys are on the same page here.

• 1:15:42Speaker 04

  I thought the boyfriend said, no, don't do it.

• 1:15:43Stavros Halkias?

  Don't meet up.

• 1:15:44Speaker 03

  Don't meet up.

• 1:15:44Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 1:15:45Stavros Halkias?

  You can send, so, and I feel like most papers don't meet up.

• 1:15:49Speaker 04

  Wait, red flag that your boyfriend is like allowing you to accept the money.

• 1:15:54Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, I don't think so.

• 1:15:55Speaker 04

  No?

• 1:15:56Stavros Halkias?

  Here's what I think. I've been, I've dated girls who have pay pigs and shit, who have like simps, whatever, and it's kinda sick. They just pay for, like, they just pay for, I think I talked about this on Patreon recently, but like, like I was dating a girl who like, I never paid for an Uber because some fucking like tech guy gave her his card to fucking put an Uber on, like.

• 1:16:15Speaker 03

  I would hate that you were okay with that, though.

• 1:16:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, we don't like this.

• 1:16:19Speaker 03

  We don't like this.

• 1:16:19Stavros Halkias?

  Well, I'm not trying to fuck you guys.

• 1:16:23Speaker 03

  We couldn't.

• 1:16:26Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:16:29Speaker 04

  We've unified against you.

• 1:16:32Speaker 03

  No, wait. No, wait a minute. Wait, you don't want to?

• 1:16:36Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:16:37Speaker 03

  I'll pay you.

• 1:16:38Speaker 04

  Your boyfriend needs to be like, no. This needs to turn into like a kink between you and your man where he's like, no.

• 1:16:44Speaker 03

  No, she's healthy, she's healthy.

• 1:16:46Speaker 04

  No, I'll pay for you. Like.

• 1:16:48Stavros Halkias?

  But here's the thing. I don't, look, I don't think it's, I guess, listen, I get it, whatever, everybody is different. I just wouldn't be threatened by this person. And I would see it if like my, if my girlfriend wanted to do it. It's like, yeah, I don't give a fuck. I don't, this guy's not a threat to me. He's a guy we make fun of. You know what I mean? It's like.

• 1:17:07Speaker 03

  No, not if there's actual monetary exchange.

• 1:17:10Speaker 04

  Look, I'm not, I'm not, it's not about being a threat.

• 1:17:12Stavros Halkias?

  What if she's a sex worker? I don't, you wouldn't date someone who like?

• 1:17:14Speaker 03

  I wouldn't date a sex worker, for one.

• 1:17:16Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, well, I mean, first of all, take your tone down. I know who you have dated. They're not better.

• 1:17:24Stavros Halkias?

  You think comedian is more, is better than sex worker? It's so, like, that is so much more honest work than what we do.

• 1:17:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I would be way too jealous. First of all, I'd be way too jealous. Second of all, yeah, I think that.

• 1:17:42Stavros Halkias?

  I think everybody has different lines, right?

• 1:17:43Speaker 04

  I would start a fight over this. Like, if I, if I went to my husband and was like, this man said he'll pay for, and he's like, oh, that sounds nice. I'd be like, so you don't fucking love me?

• 1:17:52Stavros Halkias?

  Here's my, here's what I would do. I would laugh and I would be like, what do you wanna do about that? And if she was like, it's fucking weird. I'm like, great. If she's like, I wanna take his money. I'm like, yeah, whatever, fucking take his money. I don't give a fuck.

• 1:18:02Speaker 03

  But taking the money is an exchange of something that is intimate in some way, shape, or form.

• 1:18:07Stavros Halkias?

  No, it's fucking not.

• 1:18:08Speaker 03

  But what if he knocked on the door one day and was like, I've given you over $10,000?

• 1:18:12Stavros Halkias?

  That's not how these guys' psychology works.

• 1:18:14Speaker 03

  They just stay away?

• 1:18:15Stavros Halkias?

  They're fuck, there's something wrong with them. Yeah. They're sort of like Jord, they're male Jordans in a certain way, where something is so fundamentally wrong with their brain that they do not, they don't understand love and relationships. And for them, it's gotten to like money is how they bust or whatever. Look, I don't get it either. I, I have no desire to be talked down to, to be dominated in like, in a financial way, even in like a sexual way. I don't really, like, I don't really wanna be, that doesn't excite me in any way. I don't get the sub, like, you know, the sub shit of like, like, I would fuck a hot dominatrix. Like, she could, I guess she could fucking flick my nipples a couple times and then if she sucks me off afterwards, but I'm not

• 1:18:59Stavros Halkias?

  just getting my nuts stomped on and then putting my pants on, like, all right, see you later. That does nothing for me, right? But if it does something for these guys, I don't fu, I ultimately don't give a fuck, but that's me. And I have different lines, right? Like, dating sex workers, like, would I date like a? You know, I mean, there's just different levels too, right? It's like, how extreme are we going? Are you just showing your titties on the internet? Who fucking cares? You know what I mean? Like, uh, are you just getting a guy to send you money on fucking Cash App? Cause you call him, you know, a fat slug? He's like, thank you mistress, here's four thousand dollars. I, I think I would be rude to stop my girlfriend from possibly making a quick ten K off some piece of shit who's not a threat at all. That's just my perspective.

• 1:19:43Speaker 04

  Okay, so it's not about it not being a threat? Like, is there something sort of like avoided in you that's like allowing for that? Where you're like, oh, it's one, like, now she's not fully on my plate? Like, I'm not, I don't, I'm not preventing her from doing that so that I'm then not responsible for her or something?

• 1:20:02Stavros Halkias?

  Listen, I'm avoided in a lot of ways, but not this one. This one is actually the opposite, where I would feel so like, although to be fair, it's never been ve- super serious. Although actually, yeah, it's never been super serious with this person. It's been like someone I'm kinda dating and it's kinda fun, whatever. But even if it was like someone I, you know, it's like, again, what if I dated someone in the entertainment industry? You think that's better?

• 1:20:27Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:20:27Stavros Halkias?

  That's like somebody, like, we give away so much of ourselves constantly in a way that's really fucked up. People are thinking about us. People think about us so much. We get so much weird attention that one guy giving her weird attention and giving her money? And now I'm gonna draw the line? I guess part of it is also like, my life is fucking weird as shit too. If you're getting money to do this little thing, who gives a fuck? Now, if I thought the guy was dangerous at all, I mean, maybe what I would say here is the fact that he even asked to meet up is a big red flag.

• 1:20:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:20:59Stavros Halkias?

  Like, if this guy was just like, here's a thousand dollars, you know, call me a fucking bitch.

• 1:21:03Speaker 03

  If he was like, I have no intention of seeing you, I do not need that. What I need is just for you to demean me, I don't even need it to be sexual.

• 1:21:09Stavros Halkias?

  But sometimes they like it to be in person. They like to be like talked down to and shit like that. They like to like hand off like a thousand dollar fucking purse and then be like, I'm a piece of shit. Thank you, I'm sorry for looking at you and then leaving and shit like that.

• 1:21:22Speaker 03

  That's so sick.

• 1:21:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's fucked up, but hey, fuck it.

• 1:21:25Speaker 04

  Maybe he's secure and it's like.

• 1:21:27Speaker 03

  Sick as in awesome.

• 1:21:28Stavros Halkias?

  Awesome, yeah.

• 1:21:29Speaker 04

  Maybe that like, he doesn't wanna be like a controlling guy and that's why he's like this. And you and I like want someone that wants to be like.

• 1:21:36Stavros Halkias?

  And by the way, it's not that I don't have jealousy, like, it's not that I don't have jealousy stuff, but this just is not, this doesn't.

• 1:21:44Speaker 03

  I would be like, I love you and how about this? Would you feel comfortable? I would like to know what you guys are saying. I wanna make sure it's safe.

• 1:21:50Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, absolutely.

• 1:21:51Speaker 03

  Go off bitch.

• 1:21:52Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, totally, yeah, yeah.

• 1:21:55Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting voice.

• 1:21:58Stavros Halkias?

  But I would just.

• 1:21:59Speaker 03

  Painting the picture.

• 1:22:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:03Stavros Halkias?

  Get outta here bitch, go make some dollars for Patty.

• 1:22:06Speaker 03

  I feel like, keep me involved, I do wanna know what's going on, I wanna make sure it's safe.

• 1:22:10Stavros Halkias?

  Let's laugh about this, let's whatever, yeah. It can be actually a team building excuse.

• 1:22:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:22:15Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? Let me text him, let me try and be like, yeah, you pathetic little fucking dick. You know what I mean? If he shows you his dick, let me be the one who texts. You know what I mean? Like, let me, let me shield you from that, my queen, you know? But, yeah, if, I would say, for you, if you keep it complete, you need to be meaner, you need to have crazy demands. I would say, ask out of pocket shit, cause if you lose this guy, who cares? You know what I mean? Like, if you're like, give me a thousand dollars right now or I'm fucking blocking you.

• 1:22:42Speaker 03

  The fact that you started at fifty means you really.

• 1:22:44Stavros Halkias?

  Fifty's tough.

• 1:22:45Speaker 03

  You have to heed what we're saying, you have to go way higher.

• 1:22:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, that, I would almost say like, that's like when someone makes an offer and you're like, I'm not even gonna dignify that with a response.

• 1:22:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:22:55Speaker 04

  Like, actually, like, it has to be way, come back to something bigger.

• 1:22:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yep, yeah. So, yeah, be meaner, figure this out. I'm literally belie- there's probably girls on TikTok that do pay pig tutorials. I wouldn't be surprised. You know what I mean? There's so many like sex workers with huge followings on, like huge non-explicit followings online that like, you might find that. You might find a explainer on how to do this. And I would just do that.

• 1:23:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, give us another one, Eld.

• 1:23:23Speaker 03

  No lower than, no lower than three hundred for anything.

• 1:23:27Stavros Halkias?

  I think that's fair, yeah. Yeah.

• 1:23:30Speaker 07

  Hey, it's Bobby Baby, uh, Elvis team guest, uh, thank her for taking my call. I have a weird question for y'all pertaining to boomers and natural medicine. Um, uh, in context, I've had a weird relationship with my mom for a while where I love her, but don't always totally agree with what she does. Uh, and in twenty fourteen, her sister had died of breast cancer. And after that, I believe she became something of a hypochondriac. And now, uh, she's been getting a bunch of different doctors about like doing certain treatments and everything. Cause she's, you know, admittedly, there's a lot of nuance, there's a lot of problems with natural medicine and with conventional medicine. But it's gotten to the point that she is considering doing a blood treatment, uh, at a clinic

• 1:24:15Speaker 07

  that will require her to be there for eight weeks and it's extremely expensive. Uh, eight weeks, ten grand each week.

• 1:24:21Speaker 03

  Each week?

• 1:24:23Speaker 07

  And the wrinkle in this is that my husband.

• 1:24:25Stavros Halkias?

  Eighty grand the whole time?

• 1:24:27Speaker 03

  Eighty?

• 1:24:27Stavros Halkias?

  Ten, ten, ten every week for eight weeks?

• 1:24:30Speaker 04

  What is this blood treatment? I've never.

• 1:24:31Stavros Halkias?

  It's some fake bullshit where they probably just completely drain your blood, I'm guessing. She said it's homeopathic?

• 1:24:37Speaker 05

  She's just saying natural medicine, but yeah.

• 1:24:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, whatever, keep going.

• 1:24:40Speaker 07

  And the wrinkle in this is that my husband and I just had a kid, she's about two months old now. And we could really use the help, uh, just taking care of stuff around the house.

• 1:24:49Stavros Halkias?

  Hold on a second.

• 1:24:50Speaker 07

  I was going back to work.

• 1:24:51Stavros Halkias?

  Go ahead and don't depend on your mother to help. Let's start there.

• 1:24:55Speaker 03

  Cancer ridden mother.

• 1:24:56Stavros Halkias?

  The fact that, she doesn't have cancer, she's a hypochondriac. Her sister had cancer, we plunged her into hypochondria. But either way, the fact that this, this question's like, how do I get my mom off the RFK tip? And then directly into being a good grandmother? That ain't a one to one. There's no bridge from that part of the world to this part of the world, right? There's no bridge from insane drain all my blood in a fucking yurt to fucking, yeah, let me, let me fucking feed it, feed my nephew or my grandchild Gogurt or whatever the fuck. So, I would say she's not gonna help, but let's let her finish.

• 1:25:34Speaker 07

  To work in like less than a week. So, um, I've brought this up to my siblings, or to my, uh, my brother and his wife. But, uh, we both are kind of in a rock and a hard place where, once she is committed to doing something, she just kinda goes for it anyway, even if she's gotten scammed or conned out and stuff before.

• 1:25:53Stavros Halkias?

  Well, she's stupid.

• 1:25:57Stavros Halkias?

  Sort of a Jensen way to approach the world.

• 1:26:00Speaker 03

  I like it.

• 1:26:02Speaker 07

  Uh, historically, she just hasn't really listened to me about stuff, so I kinda keep my mouth shut. But I am concerned that she's gonna be taken advantage of, so. Just not really sure how to go about this. I know this is kind of a weird one, but, um, just appreciate everything you guys do. And, uh, if you take my call, thank you, thank you for your time either way, so, take care, bye.

• 1:26:21Speaker 04

  I think firstly, you have to like remove the energy that you want the money for you and your kid, because that, she'll sniff that out. Like, if someone sniffs out that you want their money, it's bad.

• 1:26:33Stavros Halkias?

  That's interesting. I didn't even consider that she actually wanted financial assistance. To me, it was more like, I want, but you're probably right, like, I mean, it's both, right? It's like, I thought she was just wants the, like, my, my mom is like, you know, go, she loves babysitting the kid. You know what I mean? And so like, she's, it's a huge help. I wonder if that's what, that's how I heard it, but you're right. She also, it's about the, it might just be about the money a little bit here. Here's, this is tough, right? Cause parents are so inflexible most of the time. Like, like, the idea that you're gonna change your parent is something that I've been banging my head against the wall my whole life about, right? And you're lucky to get like a, if you put in so much work for years, you're lucky to get

• 1:27:17Stavros Halkias?

  a centimeter of movement of them from like insane to slightly less insane on one specific thing, right? They also don't respect you, you're their child, right? Especially someone who's, who's got like psychological issues, like, people have kids for many different reasons, especially somebody that's just like, I don't have to fucking listen to my kids, they're my fucking stupid kids, right? And some parents believe that, that you're just, uh, an inferior, some servant to them that must listen to them until the end of, you know, of, of their life. Or hopefully your life in their, in their mind, they hopefully outlive you. Um, but.

• 1:27:54Speaker 03

  You let her do it, let her live her damn life.

• 1:27:57Stavros Halkias?

  Here's what I would do within this scenario. I would, you can't, hard selling doesn't work, right? She never listens to you, your whole life, she fucking doesn't listen to you. I don't think, if you don't make it about money, but if you make it about like, hey, like, I know you're gonna do this thing, we just had a baby, we could use you around the house a little bit. Do you think for the next couple of months, you could help us out a couple of times a week? And maybe delay this blood thing, right? Like, maybe delay this and like, you know, help us, like, you almost come at it like, I hate to take you away from this thing that's real and will work.

• 1:28:40Stavros Halkias?

  But can you, you know, watch the kid every once in a while? It probably still won't work, but I think like, sometimes when you just argue with someone and they don't listen to you, when you do kind of, just, you know, you're like, hey, this would really help me. I understand if you can't do it, I would appreciate it if you did, right? And you just kinda make it known like, if you don't do this, it will hurt my feelings, but I'm not even gonna yell at you about, you just kinda have to hope guilt works a little bit. Because I think arguing with her, she's insane, she's gonna fucking get her blood drained.

• 1:29:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, I would just say, tell the truth. I'd be like, this sounds, this sounds insane, it sounds like. scam you should check into it also I could use your help she won't listen and you have to let her do this

• 1:29:23Speaker 04

  what about like

• 1:29:26Speaker 04

  gathering some research and some like

• 1:29:31Speaker 04

  and being like oh this doctor said

• 1:29:35Stavros Halkias?

  you think you're gonna this person's insane she's gone down the natural she's about to pay someone eighty thousand dollars to drain her blood over ten

• 1:29:44Speaker 03

  I don't know if you want that person around your kid also let her ride

• 1:29:48Stavros Halkias?

  no I think I I think ultimately being a grandparent is kind of hardwired into you if she's good I don't know maybe maybe not but yeah you're right maybe she doesn't maybe she just wants money but you're not getting money from her but I think like I don't know there's no way you're teaching her out of you know educating this person out of it it's like go to a QAnon person and be like actually you know what I mean it's like she's not that but I'm saying she's medical QAnon basically

• 1:30:13Speaker 03

  I just think you have to let your parents have their own there's so many people that are thirty five years old being like my mom wants to move to Hawaii and it's just she's abandoning me and I have a kid and it's like dude she you're got past eighteen and you're alive let the bitch live

• 1:30:26Stavros Halkias?

  so funny because you're just jealous you want that relationship

• 1:30:30Speaker 03

  which one

• 1:30:31Stavros Halkias?

  but with your deceased father

• 1:30:33Speaker 03

  oh because he's dead I had to let him do

• 1:30:37Speaker 03

  I had to just he smoked two packs a day inside he would get so baked and do these insane sculptures of bears and I had to be like that's a sick huh

• 1:30:47Stavros Halkias?

  do you have any sculptures left

• 1:30:48Speaker 03

  I think there's one of a bear the one that he wanted to make was a bear holding a gun and it would be arm bears instead of bear arms

• 1:30:58Stavros Halkias?

  okay

• 1:30:59Speaker 03

  yep

• 1:30:59Stavros Halkias?

  okay that's I don't love the reverse pun

• 1:31:01Speaker 03

  yeah he loves that he loves that stuff and I would just have to like that's sick dad you earned this life that you want

• 1:31:07Stavros Halkias?

  sounds like he would have loved AI

• 1:31:12Speaker 03

  oh my god he would have been like make George Thoroughgood

• 1:31:17Speaker 03

  make him a rapper from the eighties hey Jordan hey Jordan hey Jordan which is by the way exactly what Joe Rogan did in the green room

• 1:31:25Stavros Halkias?

  who's George Thoroughgood

• 1:31:27Speaker 03

  George Thoroughgood Bad to the Bone

• 1:31:28Stavros Halkias?

  oh that's it

• 1:31:31Stavros Halkias?

  that is a not a great song

• 1:31:35Stavros Halkias?

  that's like kids bop shit

• 1:31:38Speaker 03

  that's dad song Rogan was obsessed with the fifty cent song that he played nine times in the green room

• 1:31:44Stavros Halkias?

  which fifty cent song

• 1:31:45Speaker 03

  I think it was many men but in the style of like Frank Sinatra or something

• 1:31:50Stavros Halkias?

  that's so weird

• 1:31:52Speaker 03

  five times in the green room and like

• 1:31:54Stavros Halkias?

  you forget he's fif- he's fifty sometimes because he does so much karate but you're like but it's like he's ju- he like fifty year old like that is such dad shit

• 1:32:04Speaker 03

  but that's what you have to do when you was in the green room and we went that's awesome really cool

• 1:32:09Stavros Halkias?

  that's so funny because like a fifty year old white guy's like isn't it nice when they used to sing

• 1:32:16Stavros Halkias?

  when they used to have actual musical talent you know what I mean because it's not race it's like it's like a step up between racism it's like we still want to hear from them but in in a way that makes me comfortable

• 1:32:30Speaker 04

  I guess I've come around and I think that you have to just accept your weird parents

• 1:32:35Speaker 03

  yeah

• 1:32:35Speaker 04

  and like that's it

• 1:32:36Stavros Halkias?

  but that's what I'm saying that's essentially my point is like look go into this thinking it's not gonna work and just try an emotional appeal because reason is not gonna get through and really underplay it expecting it not to work and if it works great then you then you're like oh wow maybe this actually and it's not gonna work this person is fucking done they're gone

• 1:32:57Speaker 03

  yeah

• 1:32:57Stavros Halkias?

  you just have to accept that shit and yes is it does it suck that a fucking you know some Sherpa is getting this eighty thousand dollars instead of your newborn child yes that's life baby also you didn't fucking make the money

• 1:33:11Speaker 03

  she's not buying like designer purses she's getting all of her blood she's gonna have to go through what the decision she's made

• 1:33:18Stavros Halkias?

  she's paying eighty thousand dollars to think she's healthy for two months basically is what she's paying

• 1:33:25Speaker 04

  not a bad investment

• 1:33:27Stavros Halkias?

  Esther in forty years Esther's son on this podcast like she won't stop texting me pics like she's she's sending me weird shit and she's getting her blood drawn

• 1:33:40Stavros Halkias?

  yeah yeah I think that's you know I think that's what you gotta do and also here's another thing and maybe this is just growing up poor but I always do find it weird when people feel like almost entitled to their parents money it's like it ain't your fucking money and it would be nice of them to give you and maybe she will break you off a little something if she hasn't you know spent all her money and like she if she doesn't get a hyperbaric oxygen chamber installed in her fucking garage maybe you'll get some of it but like that ain't that's not your money

• 1:34:07Speaker 03

  I hate that

• 1:34:08Stavros Halkias?

  I do too

• 1:34:08Speaker 03

  when kids when they're spending it and they're like I'm watching him just lose all of the money that's gonna go to me and they're not gonna live that long and I'm like they're gonna die let them spend what they've made

• 1:34:18Stavros Halkias?

  yeah they they earned that money you fucking piece of shit

• 1:34:21Speaker 03

  it's crazy

• 1:34:22Stavros Halkias?

  but anyway that's that's just a that's like a nice way to when you have when you grow up poor to have a moral high ground

• 1:34:27Speaker 03

  yeah

• 1:34:27Stavros Halkias?

  where you're like I'm a better person than you not that I'm jealous of your class

• 1:34:30Speaker 03

  yeah

• 1:34:31Stavros Halkias?

  it's not that I'm jealous that you had fucking

• 1:34:33Speaker 03

  you could have a house

• 1:34:37Stavros Halkias?

  uh hit us with another one Eld

• 1:34:42Speaker 05

  what do you think is this

• 1:34:43Stavros Halkias?

  let's do one more yeah

• 1:34:44Speaker 05

  okay here's a fun one

• 1:34:47Speaker 06

  hi Stavi and esteemed guests um I'm just looking for some advice so I am in a relationship I have an amazing boyfriend um but one time we got into a fight and after we made up the sex was really good it was really hot it was

• 1:35:09Speaker 06

  I don't know it was great so anyways what is and we don't fight often so what is a good little like dumb fight that I can start that would make him mad like maybe we don't talk for like a day or two something that'll get under his skin but like won't cause a breakup and like will cause this really good breakup sex app or not breakup sex makeup sex um yeah any advice would be amazing

• 1:35:36Stavros Halkias?

  Jordan did you call in

• 1:35:43Stavros Halkias?

  that's your sponsor calling in and test testing you is she gonna get triggered

• 1:35:47Speaker 03

  so good at these

• 1:35:49Stavros Halkias?

  oh yeah go ahead

• 1:35:50Speaker 03

  at starting mini fights

• 1:35:51Stavros Halkias?

  what give us a couple

• 1:35:52Speaker 03

  oh my god um okay ask for something that isn't at the store

• 1:35:59Stavros Halkias?

  that's a really good one that's a really good one

• 1:36:02Speaker 03

  ask for something that isn't at the store then when he brings back something that's lesser be like you never get me anything

• 1:36:09Speaker 03

  ready for this one wait until there's some weird death anniversary for somebody who like maybe you were friends with in college and be like they died and like you didn't remember

• 1:36:21Stavros Halkias?

  it was my aunt's birthday how could you forget

• 1:36:25Speaker 04

  you're starting to make me remember things like I remember one day we went to New York and I because I had to work and then at the end of my day I came back to the hotel room and I was like I had to work all day and you didn't get me any presents

• 1:36:40Speaker 03

  yes yes let's fucking go

• 1:36:46Speaker 03

  ready for a really naughty one

• 1:36:50Speaker 04

  then I convinced him that there's a difference between a present and a gift and like I couldn't even remember what the

• 1:36:57Stavros Halkias?

  you don't even know you were just in the zone you didn't plan on that it just came to you and it was like whoa that's really good that's even stupider than what I normally say

• 1:37:10Speaker 03

  that's ama- buy yourself flowers say they were from somebody else and be like what it made me realize is that you don't do anything for me

• 1:37:16Stavros Halkias?

  you could be like you know these no no yes yes but you I would judge that up a little bit where you're like he comes home and you're like you really shouldn't have and he's like what it's like you know what and then point to the flowers and then and then and then he's like I didn't send you those and you're like you didn't and now you're mad at him for never getting you flowers and he's mad he was like who the fuck is sending you flowers and this is a perfect one because you both if it were real and you're not an insane person if this really happens you both kinda have an argument right it's interesting I mean you don't because you're faking this

• 1:37:48Speaker 03

  right

• 1:37:49Stavros Halkias?

  but like in theory you would have like it could spark a real one I like that one now I I want to be on record I don't support this kind of behavior

• 1:37:58Speaker 03

  I support it I'm all for it

• 1:37:59Stavros Halkias?

  but but here's here's what I would say before you guys are smiling ear to ear by the way this is like the your favorite thing this is no joke the happiest I've ever seen you Jordan

• 1:38:10Speaker 03

  I'm so excited I'm excited for her I can't do this shit anymore do it

• 1:38:16Stavros Halkias?

  yeah yeah get get is there a meeting nearby you should pop in

• 1:38:21Speaker 03

  yeah I'm getting the buzz

• 1:38:24Speaker 03

  oh my god

• 1:38:25Stavros Halkias?

  here's what I will say you can it's I do think you hit on something

• 1:38:30Speaker 03

  one time I found my own underwear and accused him of cheating on me

• 1:38:33Stavros Halkias?

  that's really good that's really really good actually

• 1:38:36Speaker 03

  I was like a skid mark you love you you have a type

• 1:38:39Stavros Halkias?

  who the hell's are these

• 1:38:45Speaker 03

  and then that was a new fight because I'm like oh you don't think I wear sexy enough underwear and he's like got you

• 1:38:51Stavros Halkias?

  alright these are pretty good these are pretty funny but I would say you hit on something important here which you found a sexual groove that you're both into and there that is a dynamic that you can achieve by just being kinda cunty honestly you don't have to have a real fight

• 1:39:09Speaker 04

  role play

• 1:39:09Stavros Halkias?

  exactly you just start you you like if you just start being a kind of a like if you're hooking up and you start acting like kind of a fucking bitch that is awesome because you kinda skip the fight

• 1:39:22Speaker 03

  yeah

• 1:39:22Stavros Halkias?

  and you can just everyone gets to remember what they're mad about you know what I mean

• 1:39:27Speaker 03

  you can also withhold the pussy for a couple of days that helps too

• 1:39:29Stavros Halkias?

  no this is not

• 1:39:30Speaker 03

  to be like no

• 1:39:31Stavros Halkias?

  you're not training a dog

• 1:39:35Speaker 04

  wait but also does he like this because that would be an issue

• 1:39:38Stavros Halkias?

  that's a good point

• 1:39:39Speaker 04

  like I I'm just yes

• 1:39:42Speaker 04

  it's okay if you're the crazy one and you like this but if he likes it too

• 1:39:46Stavros Halkias?

  no I mean now you're now you're doing now you're rage baiting me

• 1:39:52Stavros Halkias?

  now you're treating now I'm your boyfriend all of a sudden you do you have formed one girlfriend to piss me off what do you mean this is always a red I like it but it's a red flag if he likes it like are you fucking out of your minds you're you're literally designing ways to be unhappy

• 1:40:11Speaker 03

  This is a little too much.

• 1:40:12Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:40:13Speaker 03

  I came eight times, but this is a problem.

• 1:40:16Stavros Halkias?

  No, there is something hot to like a, I do think that actually is a, a healthy outlet in a couple. And look, there's some couples that are really good at this intuitively, where they just, they have this song and dance. Where throughout the night, maybe you're being a little bit of a bitch or you're whatever. And I, I have been in like sort of casual relationships where that's kind of somebody's, and they are pissing me off. And they know what they're doing and it does, it's like a director that knows how to get the right performance out of their actor. It's like if a girl rage baits me just the right amount where I'm not mad and we're still cool, but she's been a little annoying. When we fuck, I am gonna take out the annoyance out on her, right? In a way that she likes, right?

• 1:40:57Speaker 03

  He's okay, he's safe, he's okay.

• 1:40:57Stavros Halkias?

  This is, this is someone who like.

• 1:40:59Speaker 04

  I was looking at you.

• 1:41:00Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, sorry.

• 1:41:00Speaker 04

  You're gonna get too turned on by this.

• 1:41:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, sorry. I'm doing the, I'm, I'm breaking every SLA rule right now. And it also has to be a girl who you know what they're, this is somebody who not likes to get fucking tossed around, choked, all that kind of stuff.

• 1:41:13Speaker 04

  Are you okay?

• 1:41:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:41:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:41:16Speaker 03

  I was just thinking about the guy that breaks up me all the time. I showed this to my friends the other day and they ran into a wall. This was the face that he would give me during sex. Are you ready for this? I'm gonna show it to you guys. Okay, ready?

• 1:41:27Stavros Halkias?

  He would gym from the office you while he's inside of you. You're sucking his dick, he's like.

• 1:41:33Speaker 03

  It was like this.

• 1:41:36Speaker 03

  Every time. Give him that face and we'll have rage sex.

• 1:41:40Stavros Halkias?

  That's crazy.

• 1:41:40Speaker 03

  Look at him like this, like, yeah, I'm still here and you guys will have good sex.

• 1:41:45Stavros Halkias?

  That's insane.

• 1:41:45Speaker 03

  I know, I know.

• 1:41:46Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 1:41:47Speaker 03

  I told that to Tola and she fell off of her chair.

• 1:41:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so fucking funny. Shout out to Steph for figuring out, a lunatic who found a great relationship. So that's, that actually gives me hope. Cause Steph is insane also.

• 1:41:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:41:59Stavros Halkias?

  And like got a beautiful relationship.

• 1:42:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:42:03Stavros Halkias?

  But yeah, I would say find non-day-long fights ways to bring this up. And by the way, you can just tell him you're into that vibe. You don't have to trick him into it. I do think he, if he had a good time, he's gonna like it. It might take some warming up, cause sometimes you're like, I mean, I do remember when I was in my like mid twenties and I moved to New York. It's like every girl wanted me to hurt them. Every girl wanted to be choked or like, you know, talked, like degraded. And I will admit, there was like a moment of being like, oh geez.

• 1:42:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:42:34Stavros Halkias?

  Like the first time, you're like, you're a dumb bitch. You know what I mean? Like your voice quivers the first time, but then it's like enough women hurt you, you become a misogynist and you take it out on them sexually. No, no, no, I'm not. But you do have enough like built up, like you also kind of get older and you're like, yeah, this, I do like this. Who am I kidding? Like, I don't know. It's just like a, but there, he might, he might take some warming up, but it's like, I think if you both like this.

• 1:43:02Speaker 03

  I think you also get the confidence in your, when you're in your twenties and a woman says, hit me, you're like, okay, I know that this is just because of some like abuse that you've faced that now I have to reenact. When you're fucking a 35-year-old woman who's like, choke me, you're like, you have your shit.

• 1:43:15Stavros Halkias?

  Aye, aye, captain. Ah, this'll get you to bust and now we're watching 30 Rock a little faster? Great.

• 1:43:22Speaker 03

  Right, right, right. In your twenties, you're like, I'm hurting somebody's soul. And yeah, in your thirties, you're like, I'm just providing a small service that she's figured out.

• 1:43:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, exactly, exactly, exactly. I'm, I have my like phone on the ledge and I'm, I'm like looking over and it's like, oh, the delivery's six minutes away.

• 1:43:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:43:43Stavros Halkias?

  I don't want my tendies getting cold.

• 1:43:48Stavros Halkias?

  So yeah, there's your advice, pal. Um, I think that's gonna do it for us, gals. Thank you so much. This was so fun.

• 1:43:55Speaker 03

  It was so fun.

• 1:43:55Stavros Halkias?

  What a blast. Go see Jordan. Uh, check out Trash Tuesdays. Check out Glowing Up, guys.

• 1:44:03Speaker 03

  R.I.P.

• 1:44:04Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, they're both.

• 1:44:05Speaker 04

  No, that's her podcast.

• 1:44:06Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah, oh, right. I forget you. Yeah, yeah. B and Ian, R.I.P. All of them. Yeah, that's gonna do it for us and we'll see you next time. Bye, guys.

• 1:44:17Speaker 04

  Bye.

• 1:44:29Stavros Halkias?

  Hey, listeners, Stavi here. Thank you for tuning into Stavi's World each week. If you want to hear new episodes ad-free, subscribe to SiriusXM Podcast Plus on Apple Podcasts or visit siriusxm.com/podcastplus to listen with Spotify or another app of your choice.